#he doesnt eat food often but when he does he has no self control. he's going to make himself sick

[pinkniz]

Leon OCD hcs but they gradually get worse

Leon is often seen closing doors a couple of times or straight up avoiding closing doors altogether because he normally doesn't like how it feels to close them, he feels like he either closed them to hard or too soft

Theres some foods Leon can only eat with an specific complementary drink. For example he can drink milk by itself but he simply CANNOT eat a cookie without milk

Its very rare to see him without his riffle, its not just for work but to him it feels like a NEED to always carry his riffle, if he doesn't feel it he repeatedly checks if he really is carrying it. If you manage to make him leave it behind he will eventually get anxious

Leon is not as tidy as you would expect when it comes to where he sleeps, he's conventionally organised with other stuff and places but his room is..strange. To others it may look messy but to Leon everything is where it is for a reason

He hates being barefoot but he doesn't like socks either. One one hand the mere idea of his foot touching the floor BARE makes him extremely uncomfortable

On the other hand he hates how he feels when he puts on socks and his toes touch eachother, its not terrible but he takes the socks on and off a couple of times until it feels right or he goes sockless

Leon is always expressionless and cold BUT the most expressive thing he does is a weird full body goosebump he gets when he gets surprised by a sensation he didn't like.

Freddy discovered this goosebump response because one day he wanted to annoy Leon when his back was turn and blew air on his neck and Leon was just

Leon has debilitating intrusive thoughts, he already has lots to be depressed and gloomy but sometimes his brain will flash him with awful images and ideas so terrible that he physically feels ill and to deal with this he counts numbers until the thoughts leave

Leon has periods of time where his intrusive thoughts get particularly bad and he gets insomnia for days because of this, he normally doesnt sleep much normally but in these periods he doesn't sleep at all

Hall always knows when Leon is going through this because instead of being his normal robot self Leon behaves more angry and might even be more impulsive. So when Hall notices he always does his best to comfort Leon and getting him things like tea or pills to help him sleep

This doesn't affect him that much anymore but as a kid he was prone to randomly attack people or reacting explosively when someone upsetted him. When he and his brother were little and for example another kid tried to tease him by throwing a ball of paper at them Leon would instinctively react and throw a rock at their head. He didn't really mean to react that way but as kid he had much less control of impulsive behaviours like these

As an adult Leon no longer reacts like this BUT if you get him anxious and upset enough he genuinely considers punching you (Freddy definitely tries to trigger this on purpose so they can fight)

[twsthc]

scarabia angst headcanons 🌞💔

⚠️ warnings: food anxiety, self destructive behavior, possible OCD triggers, kalim

last updated: july 30, 2023

KALIM AL-ASIM 🦦

has C-PTSD from the constant threat of death

mostly gets nightmares, flashbacks, anxious, etc of when he was poisoned and kidnapped or when jamil was poisoned "for" him

has coughed up blood, has seen jamil cough up blood

really tries to hide how much it still gets him so he doesnt worry anyone

super light sleeper. a cockroach tap the wall and his eyes would fly open

has food anxiety

needs someone to test the food before he does, or he needs to know jamil prepared it or he wont eat it

after his first time getting poisoned he wouldnt eat jamils cooking either

after jamil's OB, he stopped cooking and contacting kalim and things really spiraled out of control

stopped eating/drinking anything until he was forced to

was literally bmi 0.001 until a teacher had to step in and force some goat cheese down his throat

parents would pay for material items for their kids but not therapy

i think kalim might have done some crazy shit to make his parents notice him out of the quintillion other kids they have

also he was raised by servants instead of his own mother

because of all this Mental Illness (specifically C-PTSD) he does get panic attacks, as one with anxiety disorders does

he uses pain to ground himself in stressful moments (mostly his nails)

digs them into his palms or thighs, whatever hes closer to

or he scratches himself until he refocuses

got especially bad after jamils ob. imagine the person who kept u safe and basically raising u coming out and saying he secretly hated u

me personally i would kms

probably cries himself to sleep

type of fellow to be super happy one moment then hear a sad/soft song then become svicidal (me when im having a great day then hear any song by Lamp)

JAMIL VIPER 🐍

fully believe jamil has NPD

after growing up in an environment where he was put behind everyone else, his brain desperately needed to be put first

its really hard to find good symptoms of this disorder without seeing bullshit like "10 signs your partner is a narcissist" omfg

some ACTUAL symptoms of a narcassistic disorder (for jamil):

he has poor coping skills, often projects his anger onto others, has trouble maintaining relationships, often requires praise or he might feel obsolete/depressed

too good at hiding his feelings even in shitty situations

has boiling anger issues but is able to keep them repressed (at his own cost)

after his OB, he distanced himself from kalim to process

after 2-ish weeks, they talked it out and set some boundaries

the first week jamil didnt force-wake kalim up, kalim was consistently late to all her earlier classes and struggled a shit ton with work loads

she couldnt even pick out her own outfits without jamil going "that ones fine, now hurry up" every few seconds

had to establish that kalim needed to learn how to live without jamils coddling

kalim agreed ofc but still felt a little lonely without her usual schedule

also has anxiety from being poisoned, and still has lingering memories of being so worried when kalim was kidnapped

i also think jamil has OCD :3

"if i dont do ABC then kalim with XYZ"

has other impulses (flicking lights on and off, needing to feel "even" on both sides)

i hope someone w ocd reads this and understands wtf im talking about

when someone steps on your foot so you have to step on the other one or youll throw up because you dont feel the same amount of pain on both sides

[gardenofgods-a]

Yveltal has almost finished the entire box of chocolates already. They’re too good.

[hinatas-sunshine]

Taking Care Of The Team Baby ☼

Synopsis: You and your boyfriend often find yourself taking care of one of his teamates

Genre: Fluff

A/N: Usually my posts like this don’t do so well but it’s been floating around my head so I’m writing it! Enjoy regardless and my requests are open! Much love ❤️ THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS SO IM FINISHING IT (old)

Suga:

• Okay everyone was scared of you two

• not in a very bad way, but you two definitely had some different type of power

• You two treated all first years like your babies though

• When Daichi was being specifically a little scary it would lead to you yelling at him making him back down

“I didn’t mean to make Hinata more nervous!”

“You know how scary your face is Daichi!”

“Honey, he can’t control that!”

• You huffed and walked towards Hinata who was trembling and smacked his back making him yelp at look at you

“You got this Sho! Remember how badass you are!”

“Yeah!”

“Are you going to whoop the great kings butt?!”

“Yeah!!”

• You two were bouncing while Suga shook his head, he was definitely glad you were able to turn his nerves into excitement.

• Suga walked over to you with a smile placing a kiss on your forehead hugging you

“You’re a goddess I’m not sure what I’d do without you.”

“Make Hinata panic.”

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

• Post game tiredness hits like a train so when Hinata, Tanaka, and Noya all knocked out on their plates while you and Kiyoko served them food

• You saw Kageyama’s head getting heavier for him before you slid the messy place from under him and places some rice under making a soft ricey cushion for him

Suga: Uhhh y/n...

Y/n: I didn’t want his face to get too messy so rice was a nice little pillow and less messy

• Everyone raised their eyebrows at you while you shrugged and helped Kiyoko pick everything up

• Suga laughed and shrugged before you walked behind him and wrapped your arms around him

Y/n: They’re you and Daichi’s kids

Suga: They are not!

Daichi: :(

Y/n: Look! Now you made Daichi sad!

Both: Did not!

• You rolled your eyes at both the boys and took their plates placing a kiss on Suga’s forehead

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

• You’re not sure how you and Suga ended up taking care of Hinata when he got nervous but you did

• You sat outside of the boys bathroom while Suga tried to calm him down

Suga: it’s okay, no one expects you to win this alone.

• Standing up you noticed them walking out of the bathroom and Hinata looking down still a little shaken

Y/n: He’s right, plus you and Kageyama have both learned a lot since you two got here!

• Hinata nodded eagerly at you

Hinata: I’ll win and make you proud y/n senpai!

• With that he ran off while you laughed lightly, Suga looked at you and raised an eyebrow

Suga: Shorty better watch himself, I’m getting kind of jealous.

Y/n: Yeah right, and Daichi’s not dead

Suga: y/n you know he gets upset when we talk about it...

Kuroo:

• The week started with Kenma skipping practice a lot

• When you saw the setter walking around with a switch in his hands you automatically knew the reason why

• Now you and your boyfriend were standing with your hands on your hips, and tapping your foot, while Kuroo crossed his arms.

• The boy didn’t even look at you two

“Kenma, Honey, you haven’t been at practice?”

• He didn’t look up still

“Yeah, been busy.”

• You looked at your boyfriend who sighed and took the game away, while Kenma hissed at him

• DHWJCIWJF YOU CANT SAY HE DOESNT LOWKEY HISS IM CACKLING

• You narrowed your eyes at Kenma

“Have you eaten? Here. Eat my bento I packed.”

• The boy softly took the bento and began to eat before leaving some saying he’s full and returning it to you.

• You nodded, taking his small appetite into account, while tell your boyfriend to give him his game back

• He eyed you before holding it back

“Are you going to practice?”

“...Sure....”

“Kenma.”

“Yes!”

• You smacked your boyfriend who let a oof out and you handed Kenma his game back, as he smiled at you sweetly before walking away

“One of us has to be the bad cop y/n.”

“You’re a terrible bad cop most of the time?!”

• He threw his arm around you and continued to walk with you to class

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

• During practice you were helping Lev with his receives

“Okay Lev! One more ball and you can take a break!”

• He nodded and gave you a thumbs up

• You smiled and hit the ball across the net, and Lev received it - horribly...

“Uh oh...”

• You look to the side to see Kenma’s switch on the floor and his face slightly red from impact

• or anger

“Kenma I’m so sorry!”

• Kenma was about to explode on Lev but you rushed up to him

“Are you hurt? Are you okay? What hurts honey? Here’s your switch let’s go get you some ice-“

“How does it feel Kuroo? Y/n doesn’t treat you like that.”

“What? Yes she does!.... y/n! :(“

• You giggled while icing Kenma’s angry self to which Kuroo scolded Lev about his receives

“I’m fine y/n.”

• You sighed and patted his head before walking over to Lev who automatically hid behind Kuroo

“Lev I’m not here to scold you, just try to be more careful. Remember what Yaku taught you about receives don’t hit the ball-“

• As you went on scolding Lev, Kuroo smiled. Seeing you be so kind and patient with the boys made him so happy.

“Kuroo if you keep staring at me I’ll punch you.”

“What? I can’t look at my own girlfriend?”

“No.”

• No one knows who the real captain is sometimes ✨

Akaashi:

• You and Akaashi were both younger than Bokuto, yet somehow he was still the baby of the team

Y/n: Bokuto if you don’t sit down I’ll steal Akaashi away from your extra practice

Akaashi: Please...please don’t sit down

• He sat down 🤠

Bokuto: NOW YOU HAVE TO SET TO ME!!

• To say the least Akaashi dipped after practice was over and when he realized you had stayed behind-

“Bo it’s okay, I can set to you! I was one of the best setters when I played!”

• Bokutos eyes lit up while you realized you won and Akaashi had to stay behind

“One more y/n!”

“Got it!”

• This has been going on for what felt like hours, and all Akaashi wanted to do was go home and spend time with his girlfriend

“One mor-“

“No! Bokuto San you have to go home!”

• Bokuto pouted and threw his head back in sadness only for you to laugh and run over to Akaashi and throw your head on his chest

“I’m tired.”

“That makes sense, you played for... 2 hours? With Bokuto-San.”

• Yet leaving practice didn’t mean being free from bokuto

“I’ll leave on one condition!”

• Akaashi raised an eyebrow while you laughed at how much you knew your boyfriend wanted alone time

“You buy my lunch for a week”

“Bokuto-san, you eat like it’s your last time and only for use to be alone for a day?”

• Bokuto pondered for a little while until you started speaking

“Bo I always buy you lunch? You always forget your money.”

“I can’t starve! If I die without eating until I’m full I’ll end up dead and starving!”

✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿

• Okay, It’s not like you two could leave bokuto alone especially with Kuroo

“Y/n-Chan~”

“WHY IS BOKUTO TAPED TO THE WALL?!”

• Kuroo smiled at you sheepishly while Akaashi stared up at Bokuto who seemed pretty calm (surprisingly)

• Kuroo tortured Bo by slowly peeling off the tape making Bokuto yell

“Leave it to Kuroo to ruin Bokuto’s calmness”

• Kuroo laughed at your comment

“It’s what he gets for sabotaging his best friend’s alone time with his girlfriend”

“I DO NOT!”

“Leave him”

• Akaashi placed tape over Bokuto’s mouth while the owl like boy squirmed around with muffled yelling

 • Kuroo shrugged and smirked

“maybe I’ll become the new Ace!”

• You sighed at Bokuto’s raised ,idled screaming before you let him down and Bokuto fell to his knee’s

“I promise I’ll give you guys alone time! Please just let me keep being The Ace!”

“Bokuto-San no one is taking-“

“Deal!”

• Kuroo smirked at you cutting off your boyfriend while your boyfriend raised an eyebrow at Bokuto who was relieved

“YEAH! IN YOUR FACE BRO! TRY TAKING MY SPOT NOW!”

• Needless to say Bokuto gave you guys your space! For three days

Tags:

[spiritofwhitefire]

Hannibal x Eating Disorders

The meta that no one asked for!

This shouldn’t be as unpopular an opinion as it is but I personally believe that Hannibal has an eating disorder. And I am about to fucking prove it. 

1. Eating disorders are categorized by an unhealthy obsession with food. I think we can all agree that Hannibal’s entire life revolves around food to an extremely unhealthy degree. Like yes, obviously the cannibalism but NOT JUST the cannibalism. Hannibal DOESNT eat anything he doesnt make himself. He has to be 100% in control of the meal. “I am very careful about what I put into my body”, and HE IS. Every meal is aesthetically stunning, and planned out by him in advance with literally the best possible ingredients. And none of this is necessarily bad (except for like maybe the people eating) and I am not arguing that Hannibal doesnt enjoy food. I think he loves food. Eating disorders are very often a product of our minds ability to twist something we love into a self destructive obsession. You cant have an obsession about something you dont care about (Will Graham)

2. An obsession with controlling what everyone else eats too. Hannibal LOVES feeding people, he especially loves being in control of what they are putting in their bodies. We all know he gets off on turning everyone else unknowingly into a cannibal too. But it’s not just the cannibalism, I would guess it is also a comfort thing, oh look I am not alone here, we are all indulging in this absolutely insane meal together, companionship my beloathed!

3. Portion control. As far as we can tell, Hannibal is pretty particular about how he portions out his meals. He seems to make a huge amount of food and then serve very small portions to himself and his guests. He definitely seems to stick to three meals a day and no snacks. His fridge doesn’t seem overburdened by leftovers so I can’t help wondering what happens to all the rest of the food? Does he donate it? I can see him doing that, as someone with food insecurity in his past he would never want anyone else to go hungry. I can’t see him throwing it all out. 

4. Obsession with bodies. I don’t know that Hannibal is particularly obsessed with his own body, I mean he definitely keeps in shape but that’s not exactly abnormal. However he certainly doesn’t seem to respect the bodies of others, and he does seem a bit detached from his own apart from using it as a tool. He is remarkably unconcerned with the various injuries he receives throughout the series and obviously doesn’t particularly seem to mind injuring the bodies of others especially when those injuries help further his goals

5. Eating Disorders and Childhood trauma: We all know by now that Hannibal’s  entire family was murdered when he was a kid and then was either force fed his sister or like maybe chose to eat her, hard to say at this point, but either way this coupled with the food insecurity he experienced after the fact would have definitely been cause to trigger a possible disorder in him. I can imagine part of the reason why fitness is so important to him aside from making murder easier would be because he would never want to be that weak and skin and bones orphan ever again. I always wonder if some of the persona of the ripper is sort of aspirational to him. This stoic, strong, untouchable man who would be so different from the thin little boy he used to be, or the bleeding heart romantic who he becomes in later seasons

If you made it this far, bless your heart because this was one of the most self indulgent things ever. Kisses and neck bites for all!

[okaywa]

Could i request Oikawa, Kuroo and bokuto with fem!s/o who bites her lips a lot (not intentionally) and they find it hard to control themselves when she does it?

You didn't request a specific form so I hope drabbles are okay!!

Oikawa

Love love lovesss it 

I think one of his favorite features on an s/o would be her lips 

he just really enjoys watching you talk bc the loves the way you shape your words

And then when he realized you had a habit of biting them?

He had to go excuse himself for a moment so he didn't jump you in the dining hall

He didn't mention it to you for awhile, nervous if he did you would get self conscious and stop so he calls it a guilty pleasure and enjoys from a distance 

But one day he’s in your dorm and has been watching you do your homework for a good hour now

whenever you were working through a particularly tough problem you would pout yours lips, sigh, and draw your lower lip between your teeth

he’s completely forgotten his own work at this point, completely entranced by you 

“Is something wrong, Toru?”

“Huh?” he shakes his head “No, why?”

“You’ve barely done any of your work and you haven't stop staring at me”

“Oh,” and then you do it AGAIN? its like you want him to pounce on you 

“AH! Tooru what are you doing?” You exclaim, suddenly pinned to your bed by your overzealous boyfriend. 

“You’re driving me crazy,” he whines, sitting on your thighs. “You’re always biting on your lips. Do you not care for my wellbeing at all?”

“What are you talking about?” You huff, smacking his hands away from your face. “You’re so weird, Tooru.”

He grabs both of your hands by your wrists. “Stop smacking me, I want a kiss.”

It’s sweet only for a moment before you suddenly feel his teeth pricking your lower lip. He nibbles the plump flesh carefully, licking away the sting before pulling away. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that,” he smiles, releasing your wrists and moving off of you. 

“You wanted to bite my lip?”

“I see you do it all of the time! I wanted to know what was so great,” he says, scooting sideways so he could lay his head in your lap. 

You laugh softly, scratching your fingers through his soft hair. 

Kuroo 

It drives him absolutely crazy 

And it doesnt help that you do it all of the time

And of course you've noticed how easily transfixed he is by it, so you make an effort to do it around him more often 

Just to see how long before he snaps

Whenever you get lost in your thoughts you chew absentmindedly on your lip

He’s missed his mouth with his fork at least five times during this meal alone

“Tetsu, you've got food on your cheek.” You grab a napkin, licking the corner before leaning over to rub at the corner of his lips 

You're so close, and then you huff at the stubborn food, biting your lip in concentration as you rub it off 

He swears you're doing it on purpose now 

“Mmph!” Kuroo’s lips are pressed to yours briefly before you pull away. “We’re in public.”

He pouts, resting his cheek on his palm. “Aww, don't want to be seen kissing me? I'm hurt, Y/n.”

“Not in a restaurant, dumbass.” 

“You and your pet names, I swear they get sweeter everyday.” He smiles pleasantly. “You think it’s fun to tease me?”

“And how could I be teasing you, Tetsu?” You tilt your head, smiling mischievously before drawing your lower lip between your teeth. 

He groans, letting his head drop forward onto the table. “You are evil.”

Laughing, you kick at his feet under the table. “Well, the sooner we finish eating the sooner we can get home, hm?”

His heads pops up, an excited gleam in his eyes. He grabs his fork, practically shoveling his food into his mouth in his haste. 

“Tetsu! You’re going to give yourself indigestion!”

Bokuto

Sighs every time you do it bc he has to resist the urge to grab you right then and there 

He gets really pouty when you do it in public bc he can't kiss you like he wants,,, excessive pda is yucky 

His favorite thing is to reach over and pull your lip from your teeth with his thumb

Always carries chapstick hoping it will make you bite your lip less so he’s not always so flustered 

it does not work

“Y/nnnnn it’s like you want to drive me crazy,” he whines, dropping his head on your should 

“Hmm?” You look up from your book, eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean, Kou? I’m just reading.”

“Exactly,” he says. “Whenever you read you chew your lip a lot.”

“Then why did you want to go on a cafe date to read, Kou?”

Groaning he flops back into the leather couch, sipping his drink. You roll your eyes at his antics, focusing on your novel again. Bokuto tries to refocus on his class reading but he keeps finding himself peeking over the edge at you. 

It was his favorite habit of yours, when you were at home at least. Now he couldn't do anything while you worried your lip, completely enthralled by your novel and completely unaware of his turmoil. Or purposefully ignoring it. The thought made him sigh and sink further into the couch. 

He scoots closer, hefting along his textbook. He refuses to sit by and let you tease him, unknowingly or not. You look up at him briefly to watch him press up against your side, hiking his textbook up awkwardly to cover your faces. 

Smiling, you let him connect your lips in a soft, sweet kiss. He doesn’t move away once it’s over, choosing to stay next to you and use your shoulder as a pillow.

“Just a few more chapters then we can head home,” you say, kissing the top of his head. 

[kuroosdumbslut]

being their roommate

hawks

first if all, its slightly chaotic

he likes to play jokes and tease often, but he knows when to stop

during the times when he comes home from work are the quietest hours

he doesnt often talk after work, but when he does its probably because something happened that he cant really process on his own right away

late night flight through the city just to get some convience store snacks

sometimes when he comes home kinda roughed up, he’ll ask if you could help patch him up

if you make dinner for the both of you, he will 1: tease you hella and 2: give you a hug or pat your head in appreciation as well as a verbal thank you

god he sometimes leaves a feather or two at home just to fuck with you like

hes gone doing pro hero shit and you got the day off and all of a sudden his fuckin feather is opening all the cabinets in the kitchen

he puts you in a group chat with miruko and enji,,, so you decide thats the place to bitch at him when needed (plus miruko finds it hilarious, enji is still trying to figure out how the group chat was made and struggling to set up his own group chat with him family lmao)

if he catches feelings for you and you’re kinda oblivious to it and go on like dates, he will get jealous

if you notice him being jealous just confront him and talk it out with him cause jfc he may be smart, but i feel like he probably wouldnt say shit

if you return his affections, he will either tackle you in a hug or take you for an impromptu date

dabi

hes a fairly chill roommate

like, obviously you have to know hes a villain and either be one as well or just like chill enough where he trusts you to not turn him in

he will come to you to patch him up when needed

sometimes youll steal one of his shirts and walk around in it to see when he notices its his shirt

the longest time it took him to realize was 5 hours lmao

light banter happens a lot, usually ending in pillow fights lmao

gAME NIGHTS OMG sometimes yall are just bored so you play videogames together or play whatever board game you have lying around

Cards Against Humanity is a fun one that youve turned into a drinking game: if you laugh, you take a shot

oh my god you guys fuck with each others things all the time

not like in a bad way but in a way where its like, whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine

lowkey, you’d help him steal shit

largest item you’ve helped him steal: a bedroom set lmao

if he catches feelings, he makes it obvious,, and if you reciprocate be prepared for him not only keeping up your normal energy, but with added protectiveness and more romantic and steamy attention

bakugou

hes a loud roommate be prepared

and since his sleep schedule is so strict, yall dont see each other much at night

unless he comes home from work late, and those days, you only really see him long enough to force him to eat something before he goes and passes out in bed lmao

on his days off tho,,, youll eother be woken up by him screaming shit while brushing his teeth or by him cussing at god knows what

i could see you having movie nights with him where, instead of actually watching the movie, you bitch and complain about the shit quality of some or things that dont make sense lmao

yall play mario kart together, and if he blows up his controller, he has to both buy a new one and do chores for the week lmao

he does most of the cooking tbh he likes to cook

if he catches feelings, he’ll probably just tell you straight up

if you reciprocate the feelings, be prepared cause he will be much more of a tease

like he will flirt with you relentlessly till youre bright red

good luck

kaminari

he will be THE MOST fun

but also pretty messy

like he cleans up when you point out his messes, but he just,,,gets so distracted easily and moves from one project to another

sometimes he gets super invested in one of the literature books and comes to tell you about what hes reading

if youre interested in literature too, he’ll lend you books and then yall talk about them

playfully flirts with you all the time, like youre cooking? hes gonna have some food related pickup line

flirt back at him and watch him stumble over his words lmao

SELF CARE DAYS like where you both have a facemask on and are jamming to some music

hes gonna get even more flirty

he’ll also get super soft and protective of you too, like, if you reciprocate feelings, hes gonna come up behind you and hug you while you cook,,,or like if youre both out and about, he’ll keep an arm around your waist or around your shoulder

[philosophicalparadox]

Dark Headcannons for the Demon Bois, part 1: predatory and dietary habits that are horrifying

You know what, I'm in a hard place right now so I'm going to try to elevate my mood by writing horror HC's because I desperately need to unclutter my brain so here it goes:

Mephisto/Samael

Is a viper, and functions as one.

Is venomous, and has highly hematoxic and mildly neurotoxic venom that causes massive internal bleeding and a sense of drunkenness. Kills humans in about 15 minutes up to two hours, depending on metabolism and level of invenomation. He has limited control of the amount of venom produced since he has no hollow fangs and doesn't inject the venom directly. Kissing him can turn into a kiss of death very quickly if he wants it to or if you're careless.

He uses camoflauge. His entire wardrobe is a bizarre form of blending in by standing out. Predators usually try to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible. He takes advantage of this assumption by being very noticeable, giving his human onlookers a false sense of security. No predator would willingly draw that much attention to themselves, right? Again it's like a hyena - let all the prey know you're there and let them think they're prepared, and then wait for one to drop their guard and attack them from behind.

Alternately, bait them with a lure. Sex is a go-to and tried and true method for this. I suspect he takes a certain pride in eating succubi. They are after all usually the ones to be doing the eating.

Also viperish are his self defense mechanisms, but thats a post for another day

He is designed to be a Human predator, fundamentally. Humans are a prey species that requires a certain amount of specialization, so not many demons actually eat them except opportunistically. Samael is not one of them. His physiology and psyche are designed to prey on humans and human-like things. That being said, humans alone aren't terribly high a energy food source, and for a big demon, that is a big problem. That combined with the Vatican means most of what he eats prey wise are other demons. And half demons.

Samael in mythology was known for eating children. I suspect that the reason Samael has no or very few Nephilim is because he kills and devours them all, in effect re-absorbing any of his transferred power. It is too dangerous to have more than one of himself after all.

Many of his self defense mechanisms are also viperish but thats a post for another day.

Unlike Amaimon, Samael can not eat or digest carrion. He can manage to choke down something a human would get sick from but only because he has a few centuries of antibodies at least.

Amaimon

Kinda already did this but Amaimon is basically a hyena and a komodo dragon combined. He will gladly eat bones and rotten corpses. Including perhaps Naberius and other kin of Rot.

When hunting, Amaimon is a truly terrifying persistence predator. He isn't "fast" in long chases but he is strong and has a lot of stamina. He also has the sense of smell to track for a long long ways.

Being reptilian, Amaimon has an enormous appetite but a slow metabolism. He can go days between meals and then binge on whatever is there.

Amaimon is not venomous - he hardly needs to be, preferring to crush and maim prey to slow it down - but he DOES have intensely caustic stomach acid, which he can regurgitate to severely burn attackers or well armoured prey alike.

Due to his diet of dead things and life in the soil, Amaimon is a carrier of some pretty nasty bacteria in both his mouth and his innards. His saliva and fecal matter are biohazards to most humans.

Lucifer

Lucifer is a quintessential omnivore, akin to a bear or a skunk. Fruit, root vegetables, greens, and opportunistic protein.

Due to his body being in a constant disarray and the status of his intestines being dubious at any given time, Lucifer prefers simple protein sources - fish, legumes, rabbit, chicken - because they're easier to digest.

Also due to his bodily issues, he is one of few among his siblings that really couldn't survive without cooked food. Especially meat. Anything that makes digestion harder is something he can, and has to, live without.

Lucifer does not lack predatory instincts, but he has to be in a real state of desperation to act on them impulsively. That said, he functions perfectly well on his own in a solitary survival situation and has no reason to be remorseful about what he has to kill for his food. Or how he has to kill it.

Which brings me to an interesting point - tool use. Lucifer is fascinated by mechanical things and likes to create and build and do things with his hands. As a result, if he does hunt for prey, in a situation demanding it, he does so with traps and tricks and weapons of his own making.

Egyn

Egyn is very shark like and as such is mostly a carnivore, eating a lot of fish and bivalves - but he also LOVES fatty meats like beef and pork.

He thinks humans taste disgusting and they're too bony anyway, but he will bite if he is scared.

Egyn prefers soft foods that smell good. His sense of smell is his strongest sense, so if doesnt have an appealing odor he won't touch it.

Also has a slow metabolism but is not really as gluttonous as Amaimon.

Iblis

A firecracker that, like Lucifer, prefers food cooked.

Also an omnivore that likes carbs and proteins. High metabolism demands them.

Is not nearly as picky as Egyn or Lucifer but absolutely and passionately hates mushrooms or any other earthy tasting or bitter food.

Astaroth

Has the slowest metabolism of them all and rarely ever needs to eat. When he does, he greatly prefers to either leech (parasitic) or scavenge.

Leeching is done by way of mycellial contact. He is a very, very sneaky and silent predator that consumes the energy of his victims slowly and steadily, often knocking them unconscious with spores, or failing that, poisoning them with toxic mycelium themselves.

Despite the above, Astaroth rarely ever kills his victims. If he does so it's by accident (anaphylaxis) and he makes sure to "use" as much of their body as he can.

Whoo hoo that is a long post. Sorry for the Wall O Text but these ideas (most of which can be found in Savages as well) need to be freed unto the world.

[astralglam]

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. What does your muse smell like?

without soap or perfume, 683 smells bizarrely sterile, chemical-ish, like a dentist’s office, bleach or cleaning supplies.  like hand sanitizer that kills 99.9% of germs.  they have that faint smell of powdery clean cosmetics, only because they wear so much foundation, face powder and setting spray.  humans like things that smell less artificial, so 683 takes to using cheap perfume (think a teenager who just learned to douse themselves with axe or bath and bodyworks spray), which is artificial in a slightly more palatable way.  their clothes (which are almost all second hand) have that mothball-musty smell of a thrifted dress that hasn’t been washed yet, like an old book.    

2. What do your muse’s hands feel like?

cold, frigid and icy, almost like a mannequin’s if you left the mannequin in the freezer. their skin is tight over their tendons and fingers, with almost waxy, plasticy skin stretched over their joints and knuckles, which makes them seem very fragile.  sometimes their palms are uncannily clammy.  their skin on their palms isn’t rough or calloused but they’re starting to get scars on their fingertips from their voyages into the realm of string instruments.  they used to have very neat, clean and unpainted nails, but nowadays, they have divots and cracks because 683 is clumsy with the strings.  

3. What does your muse usually eat in a day?

683 is often at the mercy of when their friends will decide to cook for them/buy them food.  they don’t have any cooking skills and can barely wash and cut an apple (this isn’t because they’re stupid, on atomina they were used to communal dining with a designated set of people who cooked for everyone in their unit).  683 is naturally accustomed to eating plant matter and (unlike us humans) has a way better digestive system for breaking down cellulose and gets a lot more out of their vegetarian diet than you might expect (two stomachs aint for nothin).  left to their own devices they just eat Whatever (orange? handfuls of spinach, unwashed, pesticides dont hurt them.  microwave a tomato and watch it explode.  brave cutting open an avocado and just eating it with a spoon).  dinner is when priscilla either buys him take out or sid cooks something for him (and sid is an amazing cook!!!).  sid isn’t vegetarian, but his family is, so he knows how to make all kinds of dishes perfect for 683 -- substitute the dairy for nondiary alternatives and 683′s getting matter paneer (with tofu instead), malai kofta (with coconut milk), and aloo gobi (no butter), all sorts of things !!! 

4. Does your muse have a good singing voice?

sort of.  683′s voice, by itself, is nasally and weird and a little grating, but their devotion to music lets them make the most out of their “strange” voice and almost use it to their benefit to sound unique, different, super far out !11!11111  their lyrics, instrumentals and emotion combined is what makes them a talented musician rather than just a good quality voice.  so while they might not have a very pretty voice, they’re still a skilled singer due to their delivery.  

5. Does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

im assuming this is about bad (physical) habits rather than personality deficiencies (of which 683 has many).  683 stares, like, really just stares at people with reckless abandon, they havent figured out it’s rude.  they arent good at even pretending to listen so if they’re disinterested in what you have to say, they’ll look elsewhere, pick at their nails, mumble or interrupt you.  always finds a way to make the conversation about themself.  very disorganized and messy, has a hard time taking care of objects even if they value them (ex. dropping his guitar, misplacing jewelry, yanking a belt off and breaking it).  definitely self pities and has no problem trying to guilt you for everything and anything.  is a pretty frequent smoker, but is polite enough not to smoke if you ask him not to.  

683 is always a little nervous so their nervous ticks are just their baseline state of being (wringing hands, stammering, talking really fast, making insane gestures all around you but being too afraid to touch you, etc)

6. What does your muse usually look like / wear?

683 looks very put together at all times -- not necessarily polished or professional, but very intentional, in that you can tell they definitely made a conscious choice to dress the way they do.  he wore the same dumb uniform every day for the first 20 years of his life, so he’s very excited to try new clothing options.  

more femme-ish clothing preferences go to boxy, sleeveless a-line dresses, miniskirts, bright floral patterns, big plastic earrings, headbands, scarves, etc.  they like clunky platforms and prefer to wear boots.  very 60s mod and colorblocked.  she loves bright eyeshadow but tends to go for more neutral lipstick.  can never figure out what to do with her hair so she usually leaves it down or does a half-up half-down bun kinda deal.  

more masc clothing preferences are bell bottoms, button ups with butterfly collars, paisley print, turtlenecks and fringe jackets, etc. earthy tones and weird nasty olive green.  very late 60s / early 70s. prog rock flavor or glam rock flavor.  never got into the disco style only because he cant pull it off because he’s so scrawny and twitchy and has no chest hair to impress the ladies.    

one thing about 683 is that he hates tight long sleeves and goes insane if he has to wear them.  his uniform was sleeveless, so even short sleeves feel really weird and horrible on his arms.  prefers sleeveless, can do with short sleeves, 3/4ths sleeve or loose long sleeve, really tries to avoid tight/constricting long sleeves.  

i have a pinterest board of potential fits for him although i havent updated it because i barely know how to use pinterest.

7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?

to most people, not really, he’s kind of a weird cagey asshole.  oscillates between fascinated with physical touch (suddenly wanting to hug his friends or snuggle with them or grabbing strangers when he’s trying to talk to them) to despising contact (cringes if you touch his hand when you pass him a cup).  he didnt grown up with a culture very big on it, so he isn’t sure if he likes it or not yet.  

to people he does care about, he tends to take his friends for granted but overperform affection for those he has romantic interest in.  not that he doesnt also dearly love and adore his friends, he’s just not the best at expressing his care for them other than random bursts of kindness and dissolving back into his weird normal self.  his understanding of romance has come from a very commercial, media-influenced place (he learns about it through television, novels and commercials, it’s not really inherent to his species) so he thinks romance is about buying flowers, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes for three hours, etc. if he has romantic interest in you, he will constantly over and over again tell you how much he likes you and your company and you are soooo funny hahahhahhfhh, and will be unusually touchy (clings to your arm, sits RIGHT next to you, drops his head on your shoulder, etc).  

8. What position does your muse sleep in?

683 didnt know what blankets were until he came to earth (or deep space nine) !!! his old room was perfectly temperature controlled and he already has a lower natural body temperature, so there was no need for blankets at all.  human beds with big pillows and blankets are THE COOLEST, so he either curls up underneath a blanket with only the top of his head poking out or he sprawls out like a starfish to take advantage of as many pillows as possible.  his special move is to roll up in the blanket like some kind of little alien lumpia.  

he’s a fitful sleeper so if you sleep in the same bed as him, he’ll punch you or kick you on accident.  he does appreciate company, though, and will also plaster himself up against you and leech your body heat with his weird cold body.

9. Could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

depends.  they have a very average speaking voice and aren’t necessarily very loud (plus platforms dull footsteps), but if they were excited, they might raise their voice or yell or exclaim something.  and then they’re very shrill, so yes, you would hear her.  

Tagged by:  @sampati im sorry i took like a week it was really fun i love to type letters and words on the computer Tagging: @dynaura or @pataparty (for whoever you want) / @phantombs / @ofgentleresolve (for lamon? or anyone you want, really!!) / @bystcrdust / @kyrieleisen / @baelends / @bup1957

[silver-mist]

BTS In The SOOP EP4 - HOBI’s REVENGE (The full recap)

I havent done a recap since Ep 1 and technically that wasnt a recap but more for fun. However, after watching today’s episode, I felt inclined to share some thoughts as I found this to be such a lovely and heartfelt episode that truly exemplified not only each member and how they are as well as dynamics between them so im making this exception. This may be a long read for some but if you make it to the end then ❤️and feel free comment. Welcome to a summary/analysis of my thoughts throughout this episode full of cute moments between certain member “ships”. I put that in quotations to point out that I look at these platonically in a friendly way (with the exception of 1 lol) but also as a way to emphasize how each member looks to another as different likes and circumstances arise. We all can fully see that OT7 truly have a special bond unlike other idol groups who pretend for years only to be discredited later. However, it shouldnt come as a surprise that some members are closer to some than others and that isnt a bad thing, just like we all may have that 1 or those 2 people we wanna tell first when you have a major life event or need to just talk. That is the main reason for my recap today, to talk about these and how it genuinely warms my heart because even though they may not act like their full real selves here, after all, this will be seen on broadcast by the general public and not just fans, this is probably the closest we get to their domestic normal selves, no narrative, no event or photoshoot to prepare for, just them doing things as they go. 

We start off after the dinner scene where everyone has dispersed into their own thing. Cue to V sitting by himself in the main house about to sing karaoke. As anyone who has followed him along the years, you already know that he often prefers his own “me” moments and its just cute to watch him start singing to his hearts content that its even pointed out by his hyungs as they sit outside further away chatting. Its nice to see him happily enjoying whatever he feels like doing with no care in the world but I do shy away from calling him an introvert as he can be the social butterfly. 

We then cut to Namseok sitting outside, drinking some beer, having a heart to heart. The rap line has obviously been close for a long time but the way Hobi speaks about his chat with Joon that night and how it feels natural and not awkward shows you that they gravitate towards one another vs possibly some other members in terms of lets say normal adult discussions where its not about jokes or laughter but just growing up and responsibilities or random hobbies and its a beautiful thing to see. Between Hobi wishing he could sing (I think he has a lovely voice and should try it out even when he thinks he isnt good) to Joon talking about writing in a journal or feeling like this is a break they should have where they retire, its cute, its normal non celeb talk, and just a moment between 2 likeminded friends. I’ll finish off this scene with another *Joon should just not touch things in general* moment when he drops the mosquito defector and all Hobi does is smile and reply... 

(Friendship Goals...)

Jimin decides to join shortly after but doesnt have a beer in hand, the hyungs are quick to point that there is some in the other fridge but Jimin dismisses it and goes to sit as all he wants is to be in their company awww. He mentions that he will take some cold medicine and Hobi immediately questions if he’s feeling unwell to which he replies that he is in fact not feeling well. This cause an immediate reaction of concern from the hyungs as Joon tells him to put his hood on to evade a bit of the cold air and Hobi insists in a serious manner to not disobey and do as they say after jimin says its fine. Double awww 🥺

Their night ends with Minimoni heading out to another mini tournament of ping pong because why not, Jimin trying to convince Hobi to watch them because awww, and Joon telling Jimin to not torture Hobi like that 😂. Joon reading the room and knowing its not his thing cracks me up, baby mochi just wants him around haha.

The scene then cuts to the next morning where we finally see Yoongi waking up from him sleep nest in the search for water. He is still out of it as he cutely blames someone from taking his water to only realize a few moments later that that someone was him 😂.

Lil meow meow cutely wobbles out of his camper to go get a drink only to suspiciously look around like he’s spotting the cameras. Perhaps to make a Yoongi Part 3 impromptu advertisement??? We all know how good he is at those 😂. He finally asks himself “What should I do”. Story of my life he probably thinks in his mind... meanwhile I go, just rest. 

We then cut to another episode of the Chronicles of Jin: The “It’s still Hot” saga where I genuinely wonder why he still chooses the tent when im sure another arrangement is possible but do you boo. As always, the forever RJ representative cutely wears his pj’s as he heads to the main house not before stopping to do the most random thing ever... 

The editor’s caption speaks for itself lol.

He finds his way inside to stumble upon baby Tae still kinda sleepy looking complaining to the sink where dishes were left unwashed the prior night. His annoyance cracks me up and then he starts to play with a mini skillet/stove? and we finally get a moment of Tae cooking... yayy. He cutely complains as the rice is not staying together and tests out the sugar level to then realize it needs more and its adorable. Hobi wakes up and heads downstairs to encounter Jin at the piano again and cutely heads towards Tae to smack his butt and ask for some food, cue VHOPE cuteness, which later continues when Hobi wants to time Tae’s food with his jog haha. Tae again complains about the dishes and proceeds to drag a chair closer to the stove because I guess the 2 second distance from the table is too much? 😂Cute..

Back to 2Seok which to what I have seen in videos is not often, agreeing to go for a jog as well as disagreeing on how to go about it. Jin is like America (we go out to the store in sweats with unruly hair and not give an F LOL) and Hobi is like Korea (Where everyone dresses nice no matter what the occasion) Side note* this is my perspective as an american who has visited korea, they just do fashion better over there and I want to buy it all ☺️. I guess Hobi ends up finally convincing Jin to change because next thing they are out and about in their morning jog.

Back to baby Tae and random inexplicable moment of the episode #2... He removes the plate from the chair then proceeds to sit on the floor to taste his treat when the chair is now empty...🧐😂

2seok is now on their jog down the road and Hobi stops to rest on the side with Jin judging him “We only ran for 3 minutes and you already want to rest?” LOLOL. He then proceeds to take some of Hobi’s water and insists on carrying the bottle back because it makes him look good on camera. LMAO Jin, stay humble always... 😂. Hobi just does a literal SMH.

Cutscene to the view where different rooms are shown at once and I spot the second room next to Jungkook in the floating house with the door open.. Hmmm who opened it I wonder? Was someone using the room??

Back to V being his cute self enjoying his “me” time. He proceeds to play again with the rc boat and I almost panic a little at what seems like he may fall into the water trying to place it there. Good thing he doesnt but he gets the wrong control remoter and rushes back to get the right one. Once it finally moves its like all is right in the world. Cute. We get a short glimpse of him in the floating house and seeing that Jungkook is still fast asleep.

We then see Yoongi back at the top house heading in to read his book, shortly after the 3 amigos V, Hobi and Jin are walking in as Jin previously mentioned he was hungry, cue to start of meal prepping. 

We finally see the final member we havent seen wake up, baby mochi in all his fairy like self is still in bed. Tae is the first to open the door to his room and proceeds to cutely jump over him, play around, get pushed back and complain and then just lay on top of him with his butt facing the door. Excuse me while I melt in cuteness..my VMIN heart... ❤️

Only to literally do a 180 and LAUGH my ass off when Hobi walks in, sees them there and just goes NOPE.. walking out 😂

Apparently 2seok have decided on their meal plan and the ever so helpful ray of sunshine seems at a loss on how to set the charcoal on fire, note that he could have asked Jin but he heads to Yoongi for help (Bring in some SOPE love :)). Either way here I was hoping Yoongi would just chill and it seemed like that was the plan until he saw Hobi’s lostness and eagerness to help so he decides to step up again and help out. It’s kinda evident he didnt plan to when he goes “Oh ok” after being told what they plan to eat but proceeds to jump in at Hobi’s lostness in terms of making a fire. Cute. 

Cue back to Hobi disturbing the soulmates and whatever little cute slaps Tae was giving Jimin to probably wake up to ask him to fetch the torch because hes finally done running between the houses like last episode lol. The ever obedient Tae obliges immediately, Jimin remains in bed. 

Were back at the main house and maybe not every caught on but its ADORABLE how Joon goes out with the plan to play with the boat like Tae but leaves it abandoned to see where all the other members are. Note, he is for some reason limping all of a sudden and I think it may have to do with why he left early for personal reasons, I hope he was ok. Potential theory, could Jin slapping the boxer bag have anything to do with it? 🧐.

Anyways, even with his leg issue he literally walks around to the other house, checks on all members and ends up back at the main house sitting next to Jungkook, encouraging him as he is building a glider and then ultimately telling him he will keep him company by sitting next to him and reading a book. Even takes care of him by bringing him a drink. Awwww KookieMonster ❤️

anddd were back to the others in the upper house. 

SOPE taking the lead with building a fire..

TAEJIN figuring out the fish with Tae sporting an adorable hat and looking lost but still willing to help his hyung. Cutely Tae later makes Hobi aware on how this is his first time putting a knife on a fish and learning that a fish’s life is previous. AWWWW.. 

Its the little things that I like to point out, the members gravitate towards who they feel more in tune with. Tae to help Jin and Suga to help Hobi although the opposite would have be interesting to watch lol.

We then get Yoongi thawing out the ribs, Hobi trying to get veggies and LITERALLY pulling out the roots of a poor plant 😂, Yoongi legit pulling up a chair to read while cooking (poor thing haha), Jin crying because hes wasting the fish fillet as hes still learning, Joon adoringly looking at JK while he continues building his glider like a big brother, JK finally giving up and whining that hes gonna ask Hobi for help (HOPEKOOK cutely building a glider? yes please), JK looking over to see what Joon is reading, giving up again and ultimately moving out with Joon looking up like “You leaving me?” and then looking at the camera LOL. 

The 3 cooks up in the upper house are busy in their own thing when Jin asks for the location of the wrapper with SOPE rapping in return making a joke about them being the “rappers” haha. 

Back at the main house Taekook are cooking together. It makes me laugh at the difference between the hyungs cooking above. For starters, JK is cooking sausage for some time but I legit wanna teleport myself over there to tell him “Hey, cut it in pieces, you are burning the bottom of it but the inside is still raw” 😂... thankfully he does that eventually.... Meanwhile little sweet Tae is getting fancy on us and bringing his wine habits into the mix making an appetizer and struggling to open the Jamon packet even though (as the camera clearly zooms in on) the scissors are right next to him...These two are funny. 

Finally someone acknowledges that Jimin is still alive somewhere LOL and its none other than Yoongi who says it out loud in the kitchen then passes by his room but instead of waking him up just cheers him on then walks away haha (YOONMIN ❤️)

However that lasts for about 2 seconds before Yoongi comes back and ask Jimin to gather the others from the other house for lunch as the other members are busy and Jimin listens obediently by rolling over and calling Joon and with a hoarse voice letting him know Yoongi’s instructions. Poor Jimin, he sounds unwell 🥺. Joon goes to gather the younglings, Tae makes it up and decides to decorate the cheese with a red umbrella only to look dissatisfied and make it a blue one lol. They then have some random cuts of moments because JK’s sausages appear on the table but we never see him walk up and then he magically walks out the house but dont show any of that.. hmmmm. I’ll leave my thoughts at that since some people might understand what im alluding to :). 

Yoongi is taking out the ribs and accidentally drops a piece and we get the following reactions;

Yoongi: little scream 😱

Joon: Just use the 3 second rule 🙂

JK: Just wash it and then recoat it with more sauce and that should fix it 😄

To which Yoongi can only look slightly flabbergasted at the suggestion and throws it back “Do you wanna eat them?” hahaha

They all finally gather at the table including Jimin and I see that both him and Joon look a little off, I hope they got better soon after but for sure they seemed sick. Jin sweetly talks about always wanting to make the dish he prepared and how complicated it is and refers to it being a hard dish to make for a Family (the BTS bond is one of a kind). All the members admire the sampling of food, Jimin calls out the cuteness of Tae’s umbrella on the cheese, JK helps Jimin break the ribs apart, Tae tells everyone to try his appetizer, the member’s cutely all aww and ohh when they find out he cut the melon 💜, everyone but JK and Tae seem to know the dish, Hobi and Jimin cue to immediately try it for their friend so he doesnt feel left out, after trying it he cutely asks Jimin how it tastes and waits for his response, another awww, soulmate responds with its diff (which probably isnt his taste but eats it anyway for him ) lol and it zooms out with someone asking (sounds like Jin?) what they will have for dinner to have another member whom I cant tell reply LETS STARVE.  These clowns 😂but I get it, it took like hours to cook each meal.

They get ready to clean and apparently prep something for dinner with Joon washing the dishes and eventually asking Jk for help who is busy cooking rice eventually summoning Jimin who heard his name with Jk cutely smacking his butt to tell him Joon called him to then Jimin telling Joon not to worry and he will take over ( I reread this whole sentence and ran out of breath haha but then again im not here for proper grammer.. oopps). This leads us to a sweet domestic Jikook moment where he asks JK to help him dry the dishes and the other obliges and they just fall in routine.. just cute.

Joon heads back to the main house to pack and I honestly think he probably was heading for a doctor check up, he just seemed out of it 🥺

Jimin gets done with the dishes and ends up next to Tae as the soulmates cutely discuss the game he is playing and Tae announces his kills and loses.

Jimin is then next to Hobi in the other house who is getting ready to customize his shoes, he asks Jimin to join but he doesnt seem enthusiastic to the idea so Hobi just goes “I’ll just do what I like” and to me sounding a little sad since this isnt the first time hes asked Jimin to do an activity with him lol. Before walking away Jimin starts singing a song about it. Yoonjin are back again as buddies down the lake fishing and we get a sweet after interview of Yoongi admitting he is not interested in fishing but he does it because Jin invites him. You KNOW you only do those kind of things for your closest friends or family and that was sooo sweet. YOONJIN goals!

Back at the house we see that Jimin ultimately decided to join Hobi and we get cute JIHOPE moments. Im glad because I honestly got the vide since the beginning of in the soop that he wanted to spend more time with Jimin and hadnt had the chance. They both decorate a shoe each and are careful not to splatter on each other. I also spy with my little eyes... an Iphone?? tsk tsk tsk.. all the others are at least trying and Jimin is like nope hahahaha. If that was indeed a samsung then my bad.

Next thing we know JK and Jimin are harmonizing and sounded just beautiful, can we get another subunit please? I know they did Who and We dont talk anymore but a legit korean song.. anyone? Ok.. moving on haha

Now here is a group I havent seen hang out together often, I  know yoongi mostly keeps to himself but I was wondering if we would see any interactions longer than just passing food or related to meal prep between Yoongi and JK/Tae but here we are, the 2 kiddos singing and the hyung just watching on. Yay..

We later see Jimin revealing his excitement over the art project and im glad he enjoyed doing that with Hobi.

Hilariously enough, not long after, while deep into another song, Yoongi tells Jk that he needs to get out to pack. Jk’s reaction? Proceed to continue singing and kinda ignores hahaha. Cue to the camera angle still showing JK doing his thing and an exasperated looking parent *aka yoongi* just staring at him like 😐

They all head to pack their belongings and we fast forward to them playing games in the upper house. While Jimin is packing he walks out and asks to no one in particular where his hanbok piece is, then sees Jk playing in with the VR and proceeds to go up to tickle him cutely (domestic much? 🥰). This is ironically followed up by mischievous Tae wanting in on the fun by standing up from his spot and moving behind JK and after what seems like thinking it over, carefully tugs his pants down but not with the intention to actually pull them. JK laughs at this and goes “You shouldnt do that” hahaha. Which begs the question, did he know who tried to pull a fast one on him? LOL  

Everyone is back to their usual roles, the 3 cooks prepping the dinner, the maknae line just doing their thing between JK still in the VR game and Vmin cutely playing games in the corner. Yoongi seems like he NEVER rests, poor thing. He sees them prepping the ramen and suggest they add meat and ends up cooking meat. He is such a DAD and im all for it. While all this is happening there is a whole ruckus in the background and we hear the maknae line having a blast but only get a short glimpse of what is happening when the camera is still on the cooks. Apparently Jimin is now on the VR game and Jk decides to mess with him by taking a controller away and putting it behind his back, as Jimin tries to reach out to find it somehow, mischievous Tae is back at it and steals the other and moves it all the way to the other side presumably above the food shelf LMAO. I gather from the way that Jimin reaches UP and not straight out when reaching towards JK and the controller that this is DEF not the first time this has happened and when it has JK played the “I am taller and you cant reach this” stance, so of course Jimin’s instinct is to reach above his head hahaha.

They finally get down to eat and they all run to the table, I spook a cute Jikook moment of JM sitting next to JK and pulling the chair up leaving little room LOL, then Hobi still needs help so Jimin proceeds to go in to help with JK not far behind and a cute JiHopeKook hug alongside a Jikook sweet moment (I see that waist caress there JK 👀🥰😂😏) and they all make it back to the table with their meals ready. Tae makes sure to remind Jimin there is also meat for him to grab. Aww, ive lost count of the times that these two have been looking out for the other and its just so subtle but sweet af. 

Its time to finally go homeeeee. They all decide on who’s going in what car and then suddenly Jin remembers to check his fishing rod. 

Now... you may be wondering why I called this Hobi’s revenge. Well well well.. I want to say that slowly, Hobi decided to butter Jin up by hanging out all day long to eventually go full betrayal mode muahahaha. I kid I kid. But as life turns out, Hobi was presented with an opportunity to return the favor of Jin’s BV4 master plan to abandon him in New Zealand. Well well well... how the tables have turned. He tells his plans to the other nearby and they immediately agree 😂. Cue to a total pandemonium... Hobi rushing them in, Yoongi slowly walking to his car because of course he aint gonna run, Jimin trying to drag his suitcase, Tae running from the house in a cute manner probably going hehehehehe as he hears the plan, Jungkook walking up to them with no idea whats going on, having like 1 second to understand it, and then immediately running unsure of what to do until Jimin goes “Help me load this in!”. 

Jin finally approaches and they get in in time and start driving off. Jin finally goes heyyyyyyyy and cant believe what is happening, shouts out Yoongi, like you cant do this to me LOLOL. You can see Yongi’s big ass smile through the windshield which is even funnier. For a second he stops and it seems like Yoongi decides to have mercy on him, even open the door for him to stick his suitcase in. Hobi, Jungkook and Jimin seem to believe it as they are seen walking back up away from the car guessing the plan is a no go. That is until Yoongi goes full AGUST D and says “Who's the king, who's the boss?”... JK but lets just pretends he says that 😂, and literally does start driving off. Jihopekook see this and run their asses back to the car like little kids and laughing all cute as can be HEHEHEHEHE and they end up leaving Jin there LOL. Revenge is a dish best served cold and you just got served Jinnie.

Legend says Hobi slept well that night. 

The end. 

Hope you had fun reading this long post, probably will never do another since it took forever but I had fun making these gifs and pics and typing in my 2 cents hahaha. Borahae everyone 💜

[captainunderkrupp]

guess what I have a whoooole bunch of autistic/adhd!hickory hcs :3c bc i got to ramble abt it and now i’m gonna throw them here real quick-- (under the cut bc this got l o n g)

audio processing is wonky. he's p good at focusing on ppl he's talking to but always feels so awkward bc he can hear conversations happening across the room no hes not eavesdropping he can just hear it that's a l l v good for intel gathering tho

on the subject of accidental eavesdropping... hickory was rly proud when he realized he could use it for gathering info on marks. he accidentally overheard someone making plans in a bar and told dickory, who was rly baffled and amazed that hickory managed to hear that over the din of the bar, which made hickory realize That's Not Super Common and then he felt a little bit better abt it after bc he felt super awkward abt it before

object permanence gets weird w adhd. for example, out of sight out of mind is just a general truth. this boy has to keep things in front of him/in his awareness or hes just like '...wait does that thing exist.' so he doesn't have much in the way of stuff he doesnt use often and tends to rebuild less common items he might need bc he forgot them somewhere lol

this unfortunately can extend to relationships :( trips to lonesome flats can make him feel a little bit emotionally distant from his new friends/partners in pop village... and visa versa during trips to pop village and w friends/family in lonesome flats

hickory uses coffee as a form of self-medication, since the caffeine helps him calm down and focus. he gets weird when he doesn’t get to drink it. it’s also his special interest!! he loves talking abt coffee and could do it for ages 

dickory Does Not understand how coffee doesnt make hickory jittery. he just has one cup and gets all jumpy, meanwhile hickory feels the most chill hes been all day w his first cup. dickory would probably stop drinking coffee w minimal downsides except that hickory keeps automatically making him a cup every day and it tastes rly good so

he prefers drinking coffee in the evening/night bc it helps him sleep. another reason dickory is constantly ??? abt how hickory isnt just bouncing off the walls, esp since when hickory was younger and not old enough for coffee yet he was an absolute nightmare to try and get to sit still

time blindness is a thing and hickory personally measures time in his music and cooking times as opposed to... an actual system of time. hug bracelets are actually super useful as a tool to train time awareness since they go off every hour and he gets mildly weirded out when he realizes he knows when it's gonna go off, since hes not normally so great at that kind of thing

hyperfocuses on construction projects. great for finishing big things in one go. not great for remembering to eat food/sleep. dickory tends to have to drag him away when he's been sitting and carving for 14 hours

hes not super great at volume control but since he grew up yodeling he's much better at it than he might have been. he tends to either be slightly soft spoken or VERY LOUD

usually v good at reading ppl but also tends to overcorrect abt making sure they heard/understood him, partially bc of the soft spokenness, partially bc english is his second language, partially bc he knows he leans on metaphors/idioms a lot

oh yeah he does that too!! its just easier to make a metaphor/simile/idiom that ppl already know and have context for rather than try and explain himself. makes him seem very good at being succinct. however sometimes he mixes up german and country ones and sometimes ppl dont know them at all and he gets stuck in a rambly loop attempting to explain himself... more than just branch have gotten a little snappy and went "ok yes i get it"

loves chewing on stuff. doesnt normally chew too hard but oh my god there is always smth in his mouth unless he's talking. dickory ends up reusing old habits of handing off things that ur allowed to chew on when he starts helping w clampers, tho he quickly figures out he has to give her much tougher things than hickory ever needed

hickory ends up sharing a lot of stims w his friends/family/partners bc he was like 'i use them for self comfort i can help them out by teaching them right?' and now sometimes he just ends up grinning when he sees them mirroring smth he does bc yes it did help them :)

hickory usually holds onto his belt/suspenders when he's thinking/embarrassed and can get a little anxious if he ends up not having anything to grab onto. putting his hands on his hips works but its like... not rly good enough, in his opinion

[selfhelpskillss]

How To Get Over Infatuation? Potential Symptoms And Useful Treatments

 Some people are very susceptible to infatuation. They meet someone ‘special’ for whom they have strong emotions. These people find themselves falling for others in an intense manner.

Infatuation is a rebellious experience that puts everyone into a profusion of positive and negative feelings. This emotion causes people to become occupied with their admiration and aspiration. 

When one person cannot be with this object, infatuation is hurtful. Everyone must overcome it so that limerence does not impact all aspects of their lives.

If you have these symptoms, you may want to know how to get over infatuation. Self Help Skills will help you to tackle the problem.

How Can You Get Rid Of Infatuation?

Your mind is full of infatuation with him, but he doesn’t want a relationship(https://selfhelpskills.net/signs-he-doesnt-want-a-relationship-with-you/). You can escape from these emotions. 

You will have to be aggressive in your treatment and refuse the eagerness to keep lamenting over this person. 

If you get infatuated with someone and find a way to reclaim your peace of mind, effective methods will completely help you solve “how to get over infatuation.”

Do you want him to pursue you rather than getting over infatuation? Are you eager for his love and care? What do guys look for in a woman they want to marry(https://selfhelpskills.net/what-a-guys-wants-in-a-girl/) will be your answer.

1. Take an ugly photograph of them

Solutions to get over the infatuation

One trick of how to get rid of infatuation is to visualize an image of them that you wish to see.

You have to come back to the harsh reality by drawing them at their worst. If you have your crush’s connections on Facebook, try to find the ugliest photo on the profile. Then, you can portray a more caricatured version from this picture. 

However, you may see this trick is not effective and still have a strong attachment to him. The article on infatuation scripts reviews(https://selfhelpskills.net/the-infatuation-scripts-review/) may help you.

2. Laugh at their mistakes

When we get stuck in infatuation, it is normal for us to romanticize everything about our crushes. So how to get over an infatuation? We hardly laugh at their bad personalities or habits. Instead, we often see deep meaning and sincerity in each of their words and actions. 

The reason is the trivial difference between crushes and partners. You are so infatuated that your brain is informing you as if you were with your partners.

It is possible to cheat your brain out of this misleading, dopamine-charged circuit. If you can carry out this method, you will find it so helpful: you have to look for humor in a lot of what the crush says and does in an entirely hateful way. 

This tip is not effective for your situation, and you even may want him more. For that reason, we recommend you read how to playfully tease a guy(https://selfhelpskills.net/the-best-way-to-tell-a-guy-you-like-him/).

3. Call them a ridiculous nickname

You want to get rid of infatuation.

Many psychologists do not suggest generating a mental ‘character’ depending on the individual you are infatuated with because it can exacerbate the obsession.

However, it can be very helpful if you create a properly silly nickname. You can find another solution for how to overcome infatuation.

Of course, the nickname should be based on actual characteristics and habits that they have. As a result, it will gradually change the way that you see your crush.

Yet, in some typical situations, your crush would like this silly nickname for him. He sees you so adorable and seems to like you. If you want to become her girlfriend, look at how to make him commit(https://selfhelpskills.net/how-to-get-him-to-commit/).

4. Have a carbohydrate-containing diet 

In the popular imagination, when you are stuck with infatuation, the level of serotonin in your brain is low. So how to stop infatuation? You need to increase the serotonin level. 

A typical way to multiply serotonin is to consume sugary foods. Refined sugar may trigger a ‘crash’ or inflammation, so you should not always eat them. But it will not impair you if you occasionally eat to help you pass this difficulty. 

Wholesome rich-carbohydrate foods like vegetables, nuts, and lentils should be in the daily diet to help your blood sugar, and serotonin contents become optimal.

5. Read books to open your mind

Those people who are prone to complicated emotions like infatuation have an analytical and smart brain. 

You are caught in the illogical trap for a short time. Yet, letting interesting ideas rush over your mind will do wonders at challenging the limiting belief that you keep in your inner thoughts. Reading books is similar to having some healing conversations with other people. 

When reading a pile of books, you may find useful tips to make him yours instead of missing this relationship. Read how to make a relationship better with your boyfriend(https://selfhelpskills.net/how-to-have-a-healthy-relationship-with-your-boyfriend/) for more information.

6. Face your infatuation

Talk to them to get away from infatuation.

Infatuation will exacerbate when you are not facing and handling your crush in real life. It seems that you have generated a perfect version of this individual. You unconsciously embellish all their positive personalities and ignore their bad ones. 

The above tips may work to wash over your brain and psychologically support you in getting over infatuation. Still, you have to take a few practical steps towards reclaiming control of your life.

You need to try and involve yourself with your crush in reality. This opinion is based on neuroscience. There is nothing similar to real-life experiences when you want to overcome an obsession. 

You may be considering some obstacles to have face-to-face conversations with him. It can be your confidence. You are not brave enough to meet him directly. Then, what features make a woman beautiful(https://selfhelpskills.net/what-makes-a-woman-attractive/) will be a great help.

7. Avoid fun meetings with them like parties

One more method of how to stop being infatuated is to avoid meeting your crush at fun parties at night.

When you get wildly infatuated, it is necessary to make plenty of direct conversations with them in all kinds of moods, even when you are tired, sad, hopeless, or angry.

Encountering your crush overwhelmingly at parties will not precisely show how you think about them, or how important they are to your real life.

The tip is to ensure that you socialize with your crush during any of these boring times. It will build up a more realistic remark of them and, eventually, less infatuation.

8. Take advantage of L-Theanine

You should accept people don’t get what they want.

How to deal with infatuation? I suggest you overlook coffee if you stay in a stage of emotional instability. The reason is that the highs and lows of coffee will deepen all kinds of existential feelings that refer to romance. 

Still, getting rid of caffeine is challenging. It can aggregate depression and deteriorate the brain for a short time.

As a result, The recommendation is to choose some milder sources of caffeine like matcha green tea. It is the healthiest and most remedial product.

In neuroscience, the substances we consume can have a huge impact on our perception of real life.

Matcha green tea has a high content of the amino acid L-Theanine. This substance can help to stabilize the neuron system and lift the mood as it slightly increases GABA, serotonin, and dopamine contents.

Final Thoughts

We may be trapped in infatuation full of positive and negative emotions for someone “special” to us.

It is not happy and comfortable to be in such a state of mind. Therefore, one question emerges from your mind “How to get over infatuation.”

There are many ways out there to help you remove the agonizing feelings of obsession with someone, but this post just discuss some of these tips in detail.

You should try one by one to find the most effective or combine several tricks to see the result.

After all, we hope you can overcome infatuation and reclaim your life and happiness. If it may not be the love of one side and you think that he may like you, look at signs he is getting ready to ask you out(https://selfhelpskills.net/signs-he-is-pursuing-you/) to get the right answer.

Thank you for reading!

Credit by: https://selfhelpskills.net/how-to-get-over-infatuation/

[og-danny-dorito]

Jason Vorhees Headcanons

🎉💫🎄 Happy Holidays y'all ;) 🎄💫🎉

(take these as a present)

N S F W / S F W :

- I’m just gonna say it- big man likes cuddles, although he’s kind of afraid of breaking you???

- like yeah, he loves hugging you and feeling how warm you are considering he’s basically a walking ice cube all the time, but he gets a little scared when you squeak or exhale sharply when he hugs you cause he doesn’t want to accidentally crush your ribs

- hes a great hugger though, although he’s pretty cold and strong as fuck

- hes generally not a very soft dude physically but is pretty much a great mattress since he’s a big dude and always pets your head when you lay on him

- you remind him of a C A T and he loves C A T S

- well, he loves cats but he likes little dogs more. if you’re more energetic you’re more along the lines of a very cute chihuahua but if you’re more quiet then he’s going to associate you with a cat and WILL pet you either way. you will be petted. no buts

- like the idea of a domestic, slightly nuclear family although he knows it's not fully possible. he likes having someone at home for him to kiss his cheek and likes to help out with trivial things such as baking or cleaning, although he does most of the chores when you get home since he'd much rather have you spend all of the time doing chores or work with him

- O H also likes animals a lot. he’s not entirely sure why, but he’s always found them very nice and pleasant to be around. he’d love to have a pet around the house if it’s okay with you, although he’s a little worried about the cold for them

- usually has a lot of blankets laying around for the cold though, as well as a lot of chopped firewood ever since you showed up. since he’s dead he doesn’t need much and only makes fires when he wants, but when a living being came into the household who NEEDED warmth he got to choppin

- so you know there’s always firewood outside or inside, and when it’s cold he’s always making sure you’re warm by placing his hand on your arms or any exposed skin and grunting if your skin is cold

- “Jason, really! It’s not that cold outside, I’m only a little chilly-”

- “Hmph.”

- he’d like it if you cuddle up with him in the middle of the night, please. yes, cling onto him like a koala he lOVES THAT SHIT. he’s always liked positive physical contact, and since he mostly got negative he’s naturally conditioned to be touch-starved. in fact, he loves even hearing your voice. pretty much anything directed positively at him makes him all warm and fuzzy inside and he can't help but feel really good when you coddle him

- make him,,,home cooked food. even though he doesn’t really need to eat it, he will. the whole goddamned plate and then some. seriously, he can’t  get enough of it, and his favorite is probably his mom’s meatloaf and green beans. cause you already know that shit is shmack

- isn’t really experienced in like romantic relationships so he’s kind of clueless most of the time. he is sort of the romantic though, bringing you things from intruders’ cabins or from their own cold, dead hands as gifts. if he thinks you’ll like the bracelet on that dude’s arm, then he’s gonna get that bracelet if it means he has to rip the dude’s arm off (which he doesn’t mind doing regardless tbh)

- will just,,, die if you give him anything. anything at all. you could give him a rock you thought was cool and he may just cry a little bit

- but seriously, anything you give to him makes his heart melt, especially if it was handmade. it really feels like it was made just for him, and he really loves that you’d put in your effort and time out of the day to think about him and make something for him

- very pure, very sweet

- just needs a hug

- LOVES IT if you dote on him. like yes kiss his booboo after putting a bandaid on it and say he did a good job today he needs it

- hes kind of innocent though, so it may be hard to initiate things with him that are more uhhhh- ~s p i c y~ if you catch my drift. it’s actually pretty unlikely he’ll even think of sex considering he doesn’t have it on his mind except when he’s hunting horny teens

- might be a little curious though, considering he’s only watched it happen with campers for the most part. his mom always told him it was sinful and wrong to do that before marriage and to be very safe and respectful of each other

- so of course, he’s going to continually ask for consent regardless of whether it’s your first or 100th time. his anxiety is pretty high the first time and he’s initially hesitant to even agree to it in the first place, so he lets you take the lead as he tries to figure out what the fuck he’s supposed to be doing

- he gets all flushed when he sees you undressed and placing his hands on you to help him get a hold it, and probably doesn’t take off his mask or most of is clothes just because like??? he’s a little self conscious okay

- but once you do get under all those clothes, he’s pretty toned and lowkey probably has the biggest dick out of every slasher. like he just. big man = big dick and my guiding philosophy has never done me wrong EVER. most likely 10 inches in length and 8 inches all around in girth. very green due to his “condition”, but is relatively veiny as well and is definitely circumcised. his head is a light dusted pink when hard, which happens almost any time you initiate further intimacy than just cute touches. and when he get started hard he's rock-solid. excellent manscaping considering he can't grow hair in the first place so you know that he isn't the MOST sensitive and probably shakes and whines a little if you suck on the tip and roll your tongue around it

- he eventually gets the hang of where to touch and where to grasp and where to run his hands along, but that’s doesn’t stop him from being a little adventurous with EXTENSIVE permission. are you okey with him doing that? are you sure? tell him to stop when you want him to, okay? promise to say stop?

- once he knows what he’s doing he starts to realize a few things like how sensitive you are to the rough parts of his hands and how much he likes seeing you in his clothes-

- on a level of how many kinks he has, he is the most vanilla out of anyone you'll ever meet because 1: he's too embarrassed to ask for anything, 2: he lowkey is pretty sure you'd be disgusted with him if he wanted to try a bunch of new stuff, and 3: he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable so he avoids doing so by not asking

- he's a bottom, that's it. that's all. He's just a bottom. the reasoning for this is that he wants to feel more like he doesn't need to control everything and really just wants to feel safe and loved. if you're taking the reigns then he feels like he doesn't need to worry, and he's sure you'd make a better leader than he ever could. he's not into things that are all too violent since he doesn't like getting hurt and in turn doesn't want to hurt you, but somehow likes being bossed around and told what to do although he works best when talked to kindly and gently. he also likes being praised a lot, although he'll never open up about his kinks. unless...?

- it'll take him forever to actually open up about it, and when he does??? he's very nervous about it and probably ends up chickening out. but eventually he'll grow a pair and ask you, and the first thing he asks to try out is wearing his shirt and/or jacket while you're riding him cowgirl style

- there's a number of reasons why he likes this; it makes you look smaller than him/you look really cute/it smells like you afterwards, but the most prominently reason is that it establishes a sort of ownership over you that makes him feel better about everything. he in turn would love to wear your clothes and really likes to do so, but the only thing he really can wear are big sweaters and shirts that you don't wear 24/7 like he does his own clothes

- he overall loves the feeling of security it brings him, regardless of some drawbacks like size. In fact, everything about you brings security to him, and he can't help but wish he was better so that he could bring you everything you've ever wanted

- he's very sensitive to touch, like I previously mentioned, but the most sensitive places are his thighs and lower belly considering those to relatively unscathed in the day-to-day work of killing teens and doing chores. so if you just happen to snake your fingers over to his inner thigh while you're sitting down and reading to him or watching something, he'll have a very hard time controlling himself and ends up asking  you to touch him more. he's very humble and shameful about it tho, and when he does ask it makes him seem like a kicked puppy

- and for some miscellaneous headcanons, Jason enjoys the cowgirl position the most and most of the time, if he's feeling especially pent up, then he may do doggy and/or missionary. this is very rare though considering his libido isn't so high and he generally avoids being to sexually frustrated cause he's almost certain his mother wouldn't approve. he doesn't jack off that often either for that same reason, and tends to grunt and shake when involved in the act. but he loves to be told he's doing great, and just being around you in the privacy of your sanctuary makes him feel like he doesnt need to worry about anything else

- you're his safe place to go when he comes home, and regardless of what may happen, there's no way he saw leaving your side. not for anything, not for the world

[prenupsremade]

VENT POST !!! TW for abuse and drug mentions and family and ventign oh my god im so sorry But i guess more info into my situation

for years i’ve invalidated the abuse i’ve gone through bc i’ve always told myself they love me and theyre hurting too but i’ve realized now that even if they do love me and are hurting too, that doesn’t mean they’re not abusing me and hurting me. i need to get away from them. they’ve always blamed the problems we face with my siblings on me, because i set a bad example by being depressed and dropping out of school, and initially it wasn’t like this.

when i chose to live with my grandparents, it was after being taken away from my neglectful mother who was (and still is) an addict. my grandmother could no longer work after dealing with cancer for several years, but she was in remission (and still is) and my grandfather had a stable job. i was with them often and was comfortable with them, so i decided to move in with them (my brother accompanying me). i was 12 years old, my brother 4, and the adoption process lasted until i was 15 and my brother was 7. in that time, my great grandmother, whom my grandmother was very close to, passed away, and my brother and i were prevented from seeing our mother for years after she became homeless after the incident.

several months after the adoption process, due to extreme bullying from other students and even Teachers, i dropped out of school, and right after my 16th birthday, my aunt took her life, leaving behind three children, all under the age of ten. her husband was a drug addict as well and was very u nstable, having tried to take his own life many times within the whole time i’ve known him, and the children were taken away. they were also adopted by our grandparents

my grandmother fell into a very intense depression after losing my aunt, who she felt was like the only child she had who wasn’t a mess. she stopped getting out of bed almost completely, leaving my grandfather to take care of all of us. within this time, i began to realize my grandfather was extremely controlling and emotionally manipulative, and often would pit my brother and i against our cousins. my brother began being neglected for our three cousins, two of whom were the same age as my brother, the other being a baby. i didn’t notice the neglect at the time, as i was often giving into my grandfathers tormenting

as i turned 17, my cousins adoption process was finalized, and things didn’t change much, later in the year my grandfather losing his job and having to drive an hour of town almost everyday to visit his mother with dementia, who he refuses to put in a nursing home. my grandma is still in bed all the time. my mother was let back into the picture and although she now lived across the country, she’d visit during the summer, but in the summer of 2018, when i was 18, she came down and relapsed on drugs and had a psychotic break, and now refuses to leave. she’s been here since, staying with her friend but visiting all the time unexpectedly.

my mother is now extremely violent and aggressive with me, verbally, physically and emotionally abusing nonstop, and my grandmother’s depression has gotten so bad that she wails daily from her bed about how she doesn’t want to live. she’s self harmed and when my grandfather asked her why, she looked at me (who previously self harmed when i was younger) and she said she wanted to know why i do it all the time.

my brother has become extremely reclusive as well, and our cousins have begun to see the treatment we’ve been enduring and our grandfather knows this, so when he buys food for our cousins but not me and my brother and we’re vocally upset, he says “look, you’re making your cousins want to die”

this is Every Day . Every day he does this. and every day my grandma lays in her bed and sleeps, and if my siblings or i try to speak to her about.. almost anything, she guilt trips us, saying she knows she’s a failure of a mother and that she should’ve never had kids, and that its my fault im being treated like this by her bc i chose to live with her instead of someone else back when i was being adopted (my grandfather very vocally carries a similar idea- saying if its so bad here, then we (including the kids) should just go move in with our unmarried great uncle, who doesnt have the space or money or time to take care of 4 kids and help me get on my feet at the same time.and not to mention my mother is now back in the picture and constantly harassing me and abusing me, then gaslighting me, and telling me i’m abusing her.

all three of the older kids (my brother and our two cousins) have dropped out of school, similar to me, and they don’t feel safe enough to tell us what the problem or with zoom calls is. and even when we’ve done homeschooling programs, our grandparents don’t monitor them - and so none of the kids do any school work.

im 20 now, turning 21 in january and tbh i feel like a monster, i feel like i deserve this because this is all i know, but then i go to a close friends house and see how fucking Normal things are and i’m so destroyed, i’m so sick of this, i’m so sick of living like this and i don’t know what to do. i don’t want anyone in my family to go through with losing anyone again bc all of my siblings and i are attached to each other, my grandmother can’t handle losing another person, i just need to have a place where i’m safe and my mother and grandparents don’t know where it is and the kids can come over and be safe and eat and fuck fuck fuck i’m so sick of this. i wish i was stronger and smarter and better and i wish i knew what i was doing so that i could DO IT

[tea-rexxia]

lol. i missed day 3/4/5/6/7/8/9 whoops.

3: thinspooo. i love her flat belly. thats always been my biggest concern about my own body :/ and she looks so cute in high waisted undies ! i always look like a grandma cow. sigh. her boobs r the perfect size, her arms r tiny and her jawline is gorg. i wish i looked this pretty while smoking in my underwear. i dont even wanna see what i look like doing that .....

4: my greatest fear about weightloss.. hmm. i guess people noticing too much, like my mom. n like being genuinely concerned and then fuck thatd b bad. im also just afraid ofnlosing self control after doing so well and then gaining evvverrythinngg baacckkkk.

5: ive wanted to lose weight for 8 years. since i hit puberty prrtty much. ive always envied skinny girls. i never was one. i want to be skinny and pretty. i want to wear anything and feel beautiful. i want to eat a tiny tiny amount and be full and be dainty and cute and lightweight. i hate food. i hate what its done to me. i fucking hate it. im losing weight for me because im an independant ass woman and i know i can do this if i rlly set my mind to it.

6: ugh yes i binge. who doesnt *cries* skinny girls dont. i binge because for a second i really believe that i dont care and no fucks r given. i make excuses in my head on why i dont need to starve. “you’re so average! u can totally have that giant quesorito from chipotle and eat the whole thing, ur fine!” then afterwards ana is like “biiitch u rlly did dat? ur so fat, look at urself.” then i proceed to eat whatever i want that day because i already did. i give up on that day and tell myself ill starve tomorrow. terrible cycle, i do not reccomend.

7: i think my parents have always known that ive wanted to lose weight/tried to. its not that they don’t care, they’re pretty laid back about my random diet changes. but they definitely dont expect me to have an ed and id like to keep it that way.

8: my workout routine. lol. aint even a routine. more like a “workout when i feel like it” tbh sometimes id rather starve for long period than workout. ive never “liked” working out. only sometimes. i walk, i walk everywhere, all the time. sometimes i run but i like to smoke so eh, not too fun. i have an ab workout that i do (try to do it often ish) thats amaazzing and great and has already been improving my bodii. ill post it!

9: lol negative weight comments? all the time. growing up, when i hit puberty, my boobs were a 34DDD. i hid my body under large clothes that realistically made me look larger. people would call me a cow and make fun of me. ill never forget that. my mom, my sister, my grandfather, and my boyfriend always make comments about what im eating, if i am, and i dont think its purposefully them trying to hurt me, but they dont know that it does. and its hard to tell them that. my boyfriend will take the plate from under me, he’ll say “you don’t want that” when i want to order something xtra, he’ll say “you don’t need that” i mean cmon... then u say “i love ur body. nothing wrong with it.” likeeee dont say that shit to me then. bc ur my biggest influence lowkey. in negative and positive ways, like i wanna b thin and pretty for u but then u say stuff to me like dis? wut do i do wit dis??? thats rlly rough and always makes me feel super low low low and down. and he mentions other girls that r skinny or people that dont eat and im like heeyy im over here starving my goddamn self and im losing NO WEIGHT WHATSOEVER so dont tell me about people like that bc it doesnt help me at all😞

ima go cry now lol omg.

drink ur water babes. thanks for reading if u did :/

[house-of-tykayl]

cystar tho (headcanons)

imagine

cyborg and starfire are the cuddliest couple ever. the PDA is incredible. star will perch on his shoulders like he’s a climbing post/bird perch and generally just drape herself all over him bc he’s got a lot of surface area and she wants comfy. and cy will just grab her out of midair for huggles before letting her float away again like a balloon headed straight for the atmosphere. star will float higher when she wants to look over his shoulder at something (bc hes the only titan taller than her) and sometimes cy will just reach up and touch her waist and lead her around in the air like that while they chat

the other titans support them, but are simultaneously disgusted by the excessive amount of PDA. cy sometimes milks star’s affection to troll everyone, especially at the breakfast table. “hey star i havent had my morning kiss today” “oh apologies” “do that long tongue thingy again babe” “if you two dont let me eat my waffles in peace for just ONE morning i will open a portal to the seventh circle of hell and chuck the both of you inside”

star is living for the unabashed affection bc cyborg has no qualms about being proud boyfriend in public. like he’ll wrap an arm around her and go “hey star’s my girlfriend :)” and the grocery store clerk’s like “we know, that’ll be $15.99″ and star’s just beaming, holding the plastic bags full of snacks and unorthodox food combinations

if cy’s generous with the lovin wait till you see star lmao. “you are looking most beautiful today!” she keeps saying shit literally no one else will say, either (possibly) coz of the robot thing or just coz starfire’s being starfire, and cyborg’s just like *clutches_chest.jpeg* because she a lil weirdo but she makes him feel normal and appreciated and that he’s great the way he is, that he’s desired even if a lot of him isn’t organic anymore. like yes!! my boyfriend is comprised of 80% robotic parts!! he is extremely strong and the “cool”!!! is he not absolutely wonderful???

ok but starfire can almost never get enough touching, and cyborg’s just like aight *picks her up and carries her around on his arm for an hour* and she’ll just be giddy the entire time

more under the cut

star doesnt have a lot of preconceived notions of what a normal human relationship is, outside of things she sees on TV and robin’s incomprehensible push-pulling over the years. so she doesn’t care one bit about the fact that she’s cuddling a robot. she’d figured starting a relationship with anyone on earth would be something different for her regardless– so a lot of the things cyborg used to think a partner would find problems with, end up not happening because man, this alien chick. “may i lay together with you in your bed?” “girl are you saying you wanna sleep while standing up?? on my charging port???? surrounded by 3478012 cables and wires?????” “is there no room? then may i sleep on the floor?” she just wants to be with him

heck more bed shenanigans would involve like, cyborg awkwardly trying to lie down on star’s bed, and it feels weird coz he hasn’t slept in a real bed for years and while it feels nice he’s kinda sinking into the mattress and he’s self-conscious about leaving a dent in the frame?? or like rolling over at night and squashing star which would be awkward coz he’s more than a little heavy?? then star hops in and cuddles close and is all like shhhhhhhhh slep time

silkie is usually very happy about cyborg’s presence in star’s room, if only because he can gnaw on cy’s legs while they sleep. cy begins to think it’s also revenge since there’s a lot less space on the bed with himself in it, and silkie struggles to find room near starfire to sleep at night. they eventually just get a bigger bed. silkie is a lot less stressed– but cyborg still wakes up with chew marks in his legs

if either of them are too tired from a battle that day, the other will carry them to bed. BB laughed his ass off the first time he saw starfire princess carrying cy to his room (star’s perfectly capable of carrying his weight but her arms aren’t necessarily long enough to hold onto him properly, making it a little cumbersome and awkward), but cy just tiredly gives B the finger

cy will talk to star in awkward broken tamaranian and she’ll get all giggly. everyone else assumes it’s cute flirting, but he’s actually whispering dirty, raunchy shit. that she taught him. and she continues to teach him tamaranian, occasionally dropping new words while otherwise speaking english, and waiting for him to ask about what they mean.

cy will sometimes smack star’s ass and then run for his life before she can return the favor, because he always ends up with an overly-enthusiastic handprint-shaped dent in his ass. it’s a terrifying game of tag. BB will chase them chasing each other with a camera to add to his album of “cyborg’s dented ass” photos that he shares with the whole titans network

cy teaches star about the niches in earth/american culture, the kinds of things that are a little harder to learn about on your own, or things she otherwise wouldn’t have had a reason to learn. he tells her about old american tv shows and explains obscure slang words and how to make telemarketers hang up first and what the contra code is and why he mashes it in every time he boots up a new video game. it’s a crash course mix of useless trivia and miscellaneous culture that makes star’s head spin– but she’s excited about learning all the same, the power of just knowing more makes her feel more comfortable on a planet where she is always a foreigner

it’s kinda why star adores all the different nicknames cy has for her like “fly girl” “baby doll” etc because it makes her feel “in” coz she gets all these cool nicks of names like other earth people!! she fits in!!!! and he’ll say it so fondly it makes her blush half the time. cy definitely notices and thinks its super cute at how excited she gets over pet names. she tries to nickname him back at one point but it felt awkward and she struggled to come up with them, and cy reassured her that he liked her saying out his name anyway, its cool. just be yourself babey

cy loves teaching star things in general, he’s patient and she’s always an eager student. he once took a few hours showing her how to play video games and while she didn’t really take to it, she did learn how to not break the controller whenever her virtual car’s about to crash into the divider (she still shrieks when it happens though)

initially, star is a bit nervous about touching some of cyborg’s robot parts like the implants and consoles coz she’s not sure how to deal with them? alien tech is one thing and earth tech is another, and then there’s the advanced shit that made up cyborg’s body and literally keeps him alive. she’s petrified at the thought of accidentally breaking something like what if she presses the button that turns off his lungs???????? and cy is like why the fuck would i have a button to turn off my lungs?? so one day cy just sits her down so she’s leaning back against his chest, and he looks over her shoulder as he shows her how to navigate his arm console. press this button and choose this option, no the screen wont break even if you press hard, dont use the browser to download malware on my arm like BB did, etc. the ui’s pretty intuitive and star gets it pretty quickly, then she gets all excited. cy teaches her about all the maintenance he does on his body and how his charger works and all that shit and she like oooooo

“if the t-car is your baby, does this mean i am its mother? cyborg does she like me enough? should i assist in changing her oil? *panicking* WILL SHE ACCEPT ME AS HER ADOPTED K’NORFKA?!”

(the t-car is a sassy one, easily jealous and protective– but ultimately, she does approve of starfire, if only just barely)

they spend a lot of time in the garage together. whether cy’s fussing with the t-car or putting together a new gadget, star’s a helpful assistant when it comes to welding or heavy lifting. and while she doesn’t necessarily get programming, she still helps cy with all the calculations and math involved in it; the concept of physics as she has encountered on earth is primitive compared to tamaran, and cy will often challenge her to crack a tough equation before his computer can. while the computer usually gets a result first, star will just explain that its answer was wrong in the large scheme of things, before she starts going in depth into that nerdy science shit to find a more effective way to wire whatever project they’re working on and cy’s just like  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heart eyes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at how smart she is

they fucking love food. while all the titans are hanging out in the common room, star and cy spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. star will literally eat anything, at any time, and cy would go like “yo star want a sub??” and shes like “YES I WOULD LOVE THE EDIBLE SUBMARINES” and they go make the tallest sub ever and then Eat it

they just cook together a lot, one of them being head chef for the hour and the other being the kitchen assistant. cy’s usually in the lead when they’re making food for the other titans (to prevent food poisoning), and star is happy to learn new recipes that aren’t lethal to her friends– that, and licking all the mixing bowls clean. cy purposely gets sauce etc on his face so that star will see and lick it off too. then star will very unsubtly smear food on her face so that cy will wipe it off with his finger and then things get handsy. (they’re both aware it’s a game, but they pretend like they don’t.)

cy gets them matching aprons and a tiny chef hat for star. she asks him why it’s so tiny or even necessary but he just thinks its cute af on her lol

it helps cy’s ego when star will also eat literally anything he puts in front of her while enjoying it unironically. of course, cy quickly learns that starfire’s favorite “earth” foods are things that most people wouldn’t consider food at all, so while he’ll prepare Real Food for himself, he had to start a new custom cookbook for the random combinations of ingredients that starfire likes to ingest. he’s torn between feeling like his chef skills go to waste on her, or being proud at how good he’s become at figuring out the kinds of food combos she likes based on the flavors and consistencies she’s inclined to. but ultimately she’s just so cute and happy when she smiles at the taste of m&ms on raw steak that cyborg’s just like ahh. fine.

cyborg: *sighs while writing* “edamame in a cherry-chocolate reduction: get a handful of fresh edamame, washing is optional, pour hershey’s chocolate sauce all over it, add cherries but don’t remove the pits or the stems, sprinkle in some drops of 7up, then cover that shit in mustard. stick it all in the microwave for 1 minute, doesn’t really matter what temperature? prep time: 3 and a half minutes. the fuck did i just write”

star: *wolfs down that edamame shit like its the best goddamn thing ever*

raven:

meanwhile, while cy can’t stomach star’s tamaranean food, he does go out of his way to learn how to prepare the stuff himself, for whenever star’s sick or feeling down. the nostalgic taste of home tends to help her feel better. the bowls of wustlepus might keep trying to strangle him, but hey, cy can handle it

cy used to think we was master of stuffing his face, but he quickly found out that you do not challenge an alien with 9 stomachs to an eating competition and expect to win. it’s still fun, of course, to pick a restaurant and watch her slowly but surely put away food with a grace that cy doesn’t (care to) have. robin and BB cheer will them on, raven is disgusted but plays referee anyway (even though it’s not like the result ever changes)

“are the table manners required for today’s duel of excessive food consumption?” star will ask cy innocently, but she’d be smiling a lil smugly because she knows she’s gonna win like always

(at some point, the restaurant manager will start eyeing them nervously from the doorway of the staff room, unsure about whether to ask the titans to leave before they run the kitchen dry, or to take advantage of the publicity.)

cy and star are a couple that isn’t inclined to subtle about anything. that means smooching all the time. mwah noises. flirting. glomps. yelling at shit together for fun– cy just expresses himself loudly, while shouting at each other is a form of affection on tamaran. they’ll sometimes wrestle, sometimes arm wrestling and sometimes all out full-body on the floor (actual wrestling tho, not a innuendo; star usually wins). they keep denting walls and furniture with their messing around and the other titans are like /(e_e)\ *passing out earplugs* and at some point robin is like guys… just… keep it in your rooms please

but being loud isn’t exclusive to daytime. nobody fucking knows how the hell an alien and a robot get it on, but based on all the god damn noise at night, they’ve apparently figured something out. maybe more than one something. it is a mystery

“hey, star… ever heard of a vibrator?”

most of their making out happens in the gym tho, let’s be real. they’ve been checking each other out for years in there. now they just get frisky after (or during, or before) a workout, culminating in yet another “workout”. they never lock the door, and after enough incidents the other titans just end up boycotting the gym entirely in lieu of the other training room

with the added privacy, star opts to work out in the gym without a top on. or a bra. then she heads for the treadmill

“you never wear clothing, cyborg, so why should i?”

cyborg keeps dropping his weights on himself and just ends up covered in dents, two mangled prosthetic legs, and having done no training at all

they’re such a peppy excited pair that sometimes things can get a bit too wild. there’s a pile in the back of cy’s room made up solely of dented/crushed/melted/ripped arm and leg prosthetics, all damaged because cy was busy pampering his superpowered alien gf a lil too much. starfire feels super bad but cy is like, he has to fix his limbs after a lot of battles anyway, it’s no big deal. he also hasn’t bothered to suggest a workaround yet because watching her lose control is hot (and maybe getting his hand melted is kinda kinky)

they sometimes troll the other titans– usually robin– by whispering in tamaranian behind them and snickering, pretending like they’re talking about them. robin used to be extra miffed by this, but after learning that cy’s tamaranian is actually still shit enough that he has yet to learn to string together a proper sentence longer than 3 words, robin knows they’re just fucking around with him. at one point robin turns around on the couch and throws some tamaranian right back at them and cyborg’s like :O what the fuck? what the fuck?? and star’s like yeah actually robin asked me to teach him tamaranian too. and robin’s like :) and cy is grumpy he can’t antagonize him with it anymore (and that it’s not exclusively his and star’s code language anymore, but really, you can’t own a language like that)

star likes to cart cy around while flying, but he’s just so bulky that he doesnt look all graceful and shit like robin; he just looks kinda goofy dangling in the air with her holding him under the arms. but even if he felt a little self-conscious, he forgets it quickly when she lets him skim the ocean with his feet or take him up over the clouds– he’d thought he lost everything with the accident that left him a robot, but getting to fly like this is something he never could’ve even dreamed of even when he was all human. like. this must be what it actually means to be living. everything happens for a reason

cy gets a UV lamp installed in his body just in case they get stuck somewhere and there’s no sunlight for star, he can’t replace the sun but it might help

he also turns his heaters up a bit when they’re cuddling coz he knows she likes warmth, as long as he’s not running the risk of overheating his system, but his metal parts can be cold to the touch and while she doesnt mind it at all he just wants her to be cozy….

cy’s like the only titan taller than star, so she usually floats to be eye level with him. he big and bulky and strong and he reminds her of galfore, and that’s part of why she always felt protected and safe around him. not to mention star’s been getting taller than most earth people her age; she sometimes feels like a tall poppy, sticking out of the crowd too much. so she lowkey enjoys being smol for once compared to cyborg, especially if she ever feels like hiding behind him, or being carried by him, the comfort of a sort of bodyguard that she doesn’t necessarily need but is there if she wants

i keep bringing this up but star sitting on cyborg’s shoulders/arms like. the result is this tall stack of a couple that towers over all the other titans– then like everyone will be chilling on the couch when they hear making out noises from above and they look up and its just star floating around cyborg’s head as they smooch and everyone’s like -_-

all the meme fun aside, they’re always able to confide in each other whenever they’re upset. they’ll sit together in silence and just lean on each other or hug and wait for someone to spill. if (when) it comes down to “will i ever fit in?”, because that kinda worry never completely goes away, they’ll be reassured that they know the few places they’ll always be accepted– and that’s in the titans, or in the unconventional relationship between a half robot and an alien nuclear bomb

star likes being around cy coz he’s so sturdy, in more ways than one– he’s strong enough to tank stuff so it’s safer to roughhouse with him. she loves being able to give the biggest of hugs without worrying too much about crushing a ribcage (earthlings and their Fragile Little Bones!)

cy loves how small star is compared to him bc shes fun to pick up or pluck from the air and cuddle ♥ and she’s so warm, just radiating heat both literally and metaphorically and she’s so full of life and heart, and cy’s once again reminded of what it really means to be human– by a goddamn alien, no less

they like to touch each other’s faces, just caressing n stuff like they do in “how long is forever” and the teen titans go comic #24, staring into each others eyes and shit and going all (uwu) they just love to touch each other okay even back when they were just friends!!!!!!!

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SMOOCHES. star will just kiss cy all over his face because its fun and she knows he likes it. then cy returns the favor, except with increasingly exaggerated kissing and nomming noises because it makes star laugh and blush like crazy. it’s horribly embarrassing for anyone else watching. star & cy are usually standing in the middle of the corridor by this point, and then robin was gonna head to his office, but once he sees the path is blocked– by this no less– just returns the way he came without a word

if anyone tries to make star feel uncomfortable for being alien or misunderstanding something, which does still happen sometimes, they’ll quickly find out they’ve got the goddamn terminator comin for their ass. or they’ll turn around and see 6 foot tall robot man with arms crossed and red eye glowing and he’ll be like (: hey there (:

star keeps leaving the garage with motor oil all over her face. none of the other titans knows how to address it, or if they even should, so they don’t

anyway theyre in love