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#he gets more to drive sophia to and from the office three times a week then what Colleen got to clean the office
fazcinatingblog · 7 months
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Also when Sophia was telling really guy about the lightbulbs he needed to change and putting the bins out, I was behind sophia but really guy saw me laughing so he's like "Laura's laughing" shhhhhh quiet
#honestly though Sophia knows i take nothing seriously#how I'm still employed is beyond me#five years!!!!! it's nearly been five years!!!!!!#all the times i laughed at things Colleen said and then colleen would be like IT'S NOT FUNNY LAURA#yes it is#what would Jenette and Colleen think about this 112 km thing#neither of them ever EVER got that much from the weekly travel money#the most they ever got was like $30#and really guy just getting $95 (some not paid because there's nothing in petty cash atm) for the week#that's more than Colleen's cleaning money!!!!!!#he gets more to drive sophia to and from the office three times a week then what Colleen got to clean the office#imagine if anyone from work found my blog I'm so sorry#tony let's talk about tony#i felt so bad today because we were laughing so much downstairs about Tony getting a pay rise#and poor Tony works upstairs and he was the only one up there aw he comes down like 'are you all partying?'#The Woolworths guy noticed that the productivity report is wrong cos Tony's column shows he brought money for the business in July/August#he only joined in October#so sophia thinks Tony has brought more money in and hence the pay rise????? i don't know#anyway#i don't know#moving on#what's happening this weekend I've got nothing#i think I'm going out for dinner Sunday idk where though#most likely fasolo pizza because that's what was originally discussed#guys don't tell jlawbenn if i go to Fasolo pizza without her oh man#Alex fasolo sees me enter the restaurant and automatically brings over an organic cola and margerita pizza with no basil#me trying to make conversation with people without using words like Biancyes and ma ake
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mummybear · 5 years
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Kinktober Masterlist
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Day 1: Restless Night Alone
Summary: When Sam and Dean go on a hunt leaving you alone in the bunker, how will you keep yourself busy. Alone in the bed you share with your boyfriend (Dean), you receive a text from him and decide to give him a call.
Day 3: Mirror Mirror On The Wall
Summary: Sophia and the Winchesters are on a hunt, that involves them dressing their very best, Dean finds himself completely enthralled by Sophia. The motel room is full of mirrors, distracting the pair before and after the hunt. Sam leaves them alone in the motel to sort out their tension.
Day 5: Caught In The Act
Summary: You’re convinced that Dean is pissed at you for some reason, yet you can’t put your finger on a reason why. When Sam convinces you to go find him and speak to him, you find him in compromising position that almost turns you into a puddle before you even enter the room.
Day 7: In My Head
Summary: When Dean finds himself cursed by a witch, yet again, he has more of a problem than he originally thought. Hearing Rachel’s thoughts begins to drive him insane, will he be forced to act on it before Sam can find the cure.
Day 9: You Wanna Play Little Girl
Summary: Forced to stay at a motel after a hunt Natalie has to work there, in order to get money for her car, so that she can finally leave town. A surprise encounter leads Dean to find Natalie, they discover that they have a lot in common. Not just their profession. So when Nat offers to help Dean with a case he and Sam are on, they’re alone in his motel room do their hands wonder or can they contain themselves.
Day 11: Ride ‘Em Cowboy
Summary: Dean Winchester has been the neighbour you’d lusted after for sometime, he’s older and oh so gorgeous, but you know you can never go there. So how will things go when he asks you to a dance in town, can you bring yourself to say yes or will the nerves get the better of you.
Day 13: The Mystery Of The Panties
Summary: You and Dean are hiding your relationship from your friends, everyone except Sam. When your bachelorette and bachelor parties coincide, with the drinking and the dancing how long will you and Dean be able to keep your hands to yourself.
Day 15:---------
Day 17: Dean Fucking Winchester
Summary: Dean has been more active than usually lately, you can hear him moaning in bed for weeks straight. It drives you insane, so much so that you make a plan to fix the problem once and for all, while putting him through as much torture as he has put you through.
Day 19: Green Eyed Monster
Summary: After you help Dean fall asleep, you and Sam head out to finish a hunt. Dean isn’t best pleased, later that night the three of you head to the bar nearest to the hotel. You and Dean end up chatting to two different people, both of you secretly jealous. Until he texts you from across the bar, telling you to meet him outside, will you agree to go out and meet him or continuing talking to the other guy?
Day 21: You And Your Big Hands
Summary: You’re having a lot of problems with your back, after a lay down seems to fix it you head out to wash your car. Only to find that it’s even worse by the time you finish, Dean offers to help you out will his remedy help you?
Day 23: Murder Of The Virgins
Summary: When The Winchester’s and you are called to go to a hunt by Bobby, you are surprised at what you find. The monster turns out to be very rare, unfortunately not rare enough that you haven’t seen one before. The death of your family had introduced you to these creatures, long ago when they had come for you, but your family had protected you. At least long enough for Bobby Singer to save you, you were no older than ten at the time. He had raised you ever since, little did you know that your sexual status was about to have such a profound effect on the case until now. You’re faced with a big decision, go home, or change the current issue.
Day 25: Mile High Club
Summary: What will happen when you Sam and Dean are forced to get on a plane, in order to finish a hunt, the reader has to find a way for Dean to calm down?
Day 27: You Like It Like That?
Summary: Dean confesses his attraction to you while on a hunt, but feels let down that you seem to just brush it off. Will you make up when you’re forced to share a bed, Sam on the sofa encouraging you to talk to Dean, what will happen? 
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Day 31: Yes Sir Part 1 (Collab, will be an on going series with @lettersofwrittencollective​) (Nat)
A/N: Hey guys, so this is an ongoing collab. If you would like to be added to the tag list and aren’t already, please send myself or Nat a message or an ask, so we know to add you. At the moment we don’t have a scheduled for when we will post, but we’ll let you know if that changes! Please let us know what you think!!
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Day 2: Surprising Text
Summary: A surprising text from Stiles, makes Emily’s entire night more interesting and changes their relationship possibly forever.
Day 4: Bring That Ass Out Here
Summary: You and your boyfriend decided tonight is time to try something different, Stiles catches you off guard twice in one night sending you into orgasm over orgasm, and it isn’t always private and for his eyes only.
Day 6: Blue Birthday Bow
Summary: With Stiles’ birthday usually being full of monsters, this year his girlfriend decides she wants to give him a birthday to remember. Jessica wants to worship him and show him just how much she loves him.
Day 8: Her First Time
Summary: Stiles and Val have been best friends for years, one day their feelings finally spill out. Will Stiles show her just how much he cares, or is he two scared of loosing his best friend. He wants to show her how much he loves her, can he be her first.
Day 10: Yes Sir
Summary: Ellie and Stiles meet officially when she becomes his P.A, her first day has her bumping into him. They get along really well, Stiles finds himself feeling things for her he knows he shouldn’t, alone one night in the office will boss and P.A become something more?
Day 12: Roleplay
Summary: You and your boyfriend Stiles decide to try something different, so will the stranger in the bar turn your head. Stuart seems to think that he can.
Day 14: -----------
Day 16: Corsets And Stockings
Summary: A night out with Stiles and the pack, turns into something you had never even imagined. Safe to say that Stiles approves of your outfit, a trick from Scott and a hotel room swap, what’s the worst that could happen?
Day 18: Let Me Hear Those Noises
Summary: You and Stiles haven’t been together long, but he was always someone you trusted to tell you the truth. With Halloween coming up you really need some help choosing your costume, so naturally you ask your boyfriend for help.
Day 20: I’m Sorry What Was That?
Summary: Stiles and Brooklyn have been together for the longest time, he’s in the FBI, has his dream job and his dream girl. Does he want more though?
Day 22: I Want You To Take Advantage Of Me
Summary:  You’re sitting alone at a bar after a fight with your boyfriend, when he shows up to drag you home you meet Stiles and Scott. The two FBI partners you don’t remember meeting. You work with Scott’s mother, so at least that part isn’t strange, when you tell Stiles you can’t go home he offers you his and Scott’s place to stay for the night, how will your night go? 
Day 24: Just Can’t Get Enough
Summary: You and Stiles are in a committed relationship, one like you had always wished for. One day after a crappy day at work, he sends you a naughty video and asks you to pick him up. Stiles is clearly in his Sub mode, and that words just fine with you, will you make it home before you show him who’s in charge?
Day 26: Strawberries And Cream On Me
Summary: Stiles and you have your first anniversary coming up. You decide to surprise him when he comes home from work, with an incredible meal and a rather unique dessert.
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paralleljulieverse · 4 years
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Darling Lili in New York, or Where Were You the Night Julie Andrews Played Radio City Music Hall and Stole Manhattan’s Heart?
This is the second in a series of commemorative posts to mark the 50th anniversary of Darling Lili, the last of the 1960s Julie Andrews screen musicals. In the preceding post, we looked at the film’s fraught production history up to and including its World Premiere at Hollywood’s Cinerama Dome on 23 June 1970. Here, we turn attention to the film’s New York bow which took place a month later on 23 July at the city’s fabled Radio City Music Hall. 
Nicknamed “the show place of the nation”, Radio City Music Hall was for much of the mid-twentieth century the venue of choice for big event film releases. The theatre’s monumental size, architectural opulence, state-of-the-art technology, and pre-show stage spectacles made it “the quintessential motion picture palace,” and Hollywood studios jockeyed to secure bookings at “the Hall” for their most prestigious pictures (Goldman, 97-98).
During the late-60s, Paramount, the studio behind Darling Lili, enjoyed a run of extremely successful summer bookings at Radio City Music Hall. Its 1967 release, Barefoot in the Park broke house records for the longest run at the Hall with a 12-week season, only to be bested the following year by another Paramount comedy, The Odd Couple which ran for 14-weeks (”Trouble”, 114). It was something of a PR coup, therefore, when, in January 1970, Paramount announced with much fanfare that Darling Lili would make its official premiere as the summer attraction at Radio City Music Hall later in the year (”Par Gets”, 3). The deal even made the front cover of Boxoffice magazine with a photo of Frank Yablans, Paramount general sales manager, proudly signing the booking contract with Music Hall president, James F. Gould (″Sign of Summer,”, cover).
Barely had the ink dried on the deal, however, when Paramount changed tack. Hit by the toughest industry recession in decades and spooked by a precipitous downturn in the market for big-budget roadshow films, Paramount execs implemented a wholesale revision of studio operations, including a brutal hard-prune of their production and release schedules (Dick, 120ff). By April, earlier plans to give Darling Lili a high profile release had been ditched and, in its stead, Paramount decided to offload the film cheaply as part of a bundle of eight titles slated for saturation release during the summer off-season. Dubbed the “Big Summer Playoff,” the aim was to issue the films widely and quickly so that they could “saturate every major and minor market with single-house firstruns and key city multiples” (“Paramount’s Summer Playoff”, 5). In an era when important films were typically given carefully staggered roll-outs, it was an unorthodox move that fuelled advance perceptions of Darling Lili as a bomb of such magnitude that even its own studio had lost hope. As one newspaper commentator put it, Paramount “seems to have dumped the expensive movie rather than spend any more on it” (Taylor, 21-E).
Radio City Music Hall, by contrast, stuck to its original plans to exhibit Darling Lili as a high-profile summer spectacular. With Paramount having started to issue the film haphazardly to theatres across the nation in June, the opening of Darling Lili at Radio City on July 23 would no longer be a world premiere -- that honour was hastily devolved to Hollywood’s Cinerama Dome  -- but the Hall persisted in proudly billing its run as “the New York premiere”. As Variety wryly noted: “Music Hall has never played a pic which hasn’t been a New York first, although perhaps someone there thought the tourists may have thought Lili was otherwise in that the film opened nationally a month ago” (”New York”, 20).
While not strictly a roadshow presentation, Radio City Music Hall exhibited  Darling Lili with all the trappings of a hardticket prestige release. Seats were available via a mix of both premium reserved and general admission with special complimentary programs issued to patrons at all sessions. The theatre screened the film in wide-gauge 70mm with 6-track stereophonic sound, one of only two US venues to do so. Projected on the Hall’s 70′x40′ motion picture screen -- the largest indoor screen in the world at the time -- the film would have looked and sounded amazing (Goldman, 99). As an added point of appeal, screenings were supported by one of the Hall‘s famous live stage entertainments: in this case, a Spanish-themed spectacular with symphony orchestra, flamenco dancers, guitarists and, of course, the legendary high-kicking Rockettes (Jose, 54). In addition, the Hall lavished Darling Lili with a solid promotional buildup, taking out full page ads in key newspapers, and using strategically-placed billboards and transit ads around town.
It was an old-school approach of event-style cinema showmanship that paid off handsomely. Even before Darling Lili opened at the Hall, there was “an unprecedented advance demand” for tickets, leading the theatre to double the number of reserved seats from 900 to 1,800 for all sessions. “We’ve added reserve seats on a few occasions previously,” observed a theatre rep, but “only during the heavily crowded Christmas and Easter holiday seasons” and never...during the summer,” adding that he had “no idea” what had generated the extraordinary advance demand (Weiler, 37). 
The good news continued when the film opened on July 23 with a box-office rush that broke all house records, prompting the theatre to increase reserve bookings even further to 2500 seats in an effort to accommodate the clamour for tickets (“’Lili’ Hitting Peak,” E-2). As Variety commented:
“Radio City’s Darling Lili...is the summer blockbuster all the auspices hoped it would be, with $285,000 or close expected for kickoff session. Pic is curious in that its longtime postproduction shelving had spurred rumors of disastrous artistic results. But film has shown legs in crosscountry openings and both critical and word-of-mouth opinion in Manhattan has been mixed at worst. Some response is downright enthusiastic” (“’Lili’ and Revue,” 9).
Darling Lili continued its bullish box-office run in New York, long after any initial novelty buzz should have subsided. Weekly grosses inched higher for a few weeks before settling into a very healthy $200K+ per week plateau. Come mid-August, Variety noted with thinly-veiled surprise that:
“Radio City Music Hall is experiencing a slight phenomenon with its current Darling Lili attraction. It’s not unusual during the summer tourist season for popular Hall programs to maintain or build grosses...but few remain in such a narrow range as has Lili to date. First week tally of $280,000 was a non-holiday record. Second was upped to $288,000. Now third session is headed for $280,000....70mm projection and sound are plus-values in a package which Hall president James Gould predicts will run until late September” (“N.Y. Full,” 9).
In the end Darling Lili did run at Radio City Music Hall until late-September -- September 23, to be precise -- when it closed to make way for the pre-booked Sophia Loren-vehicle, Sunflower. Across its 9-week run, the film grossed in excess of $2million in ticket sales, making it one of the theatre’s biggest summer hits to date (“Picture Grosses,” 15). 
The commercial success of Darling Lili at the Hall was music to the ears of the film’s star who, in a rare moment of unguarded hubris, admitted to a measure of self-satisfaction at news of the booming box office receipts:
“‘I’m not so interested for myself,’ she explained, ‘but I’m happy for Blake. He has been so maligned about this picture that I am delighted he is receiving some vindication...I think he managed to make a vastly enjoyable film...People are entertained by it; the Music Hall figures seem to prove that.’ [T]he actress had mild reproof for the releasing company, Paramount, over its handling of the film: ‘Three weeks before the opening, there was no advertising campaign. None whatsoever. Paramount didn’t seem to know how it was going to sell the picture--or if. I simply can’t understand an attitude like that’” (Thomas: 13).
Julie’s chiding of Paramount for its poor handling of Darling Lili was not mere sour grapes. Once the studio had decided to issue the film as part of a summer saturation bundle, it effectively abandoned any semblance of cogent or even halfway organised marketing. As outlined in our earlier post, there was little rationale to the film’s distribution. Lili appeared suddenly and briefly at second-run theatres and drive-ins across disparate suburban and provincial areas, while major metropolitan venues didn’t get the film till much later, if at all. In many markets, the film was booked for a fleeting season of a week or two – in some cases, just a few days -- and it was frequently paired as a double-bill with a host of poorly selected partner titles (Caen, 6-B). 
The studio’s approach to promotion was no better. A generic pressbook and merchandising manual was issued, but it was very bare-bones and perfunctory. In the absence of a clear marketing plan, local exhibitors were left to promote the film more or less any way they liked. Advertisements were frequently altered to pitch Darling Lili in diverse, and often contradictory, ways. The main advertising art provided by Paramount -- with its central image of Julie in mid-song set within a sepia frame of art nouveau swirls -- positioned the film principally as a nostalgic star musical with touches of adult romance. Many local exhibitors took a very different approach. Some tried to reframe it as wholesome child-friendly fare: “This summer’s one and only total family entertainment;” “It’s Julie at her best! It’s for your family” (“This Summer,” 24). Other theatres pegged it as “a man’s movie,” stressing the action and warfare elements with taglines like “See the Best Dogfights of World War I” or “If you enjoyed Blue Max you’ll love Darling Lili” (“Man’s Movie”, 13; “Palms”, 64). Some exhibitors even openly recycled graphics from The Blue Max and other WW1 action films, with one Florida venue going so far as to revive the film’s original working title: Darling Lili, or Where Were You the Night You Said You Shot Down Baron Von Richtofen? (“Amusements,” 11A).
Elsewhere, exhibitors implemented a rash of dubious promotional incentives such as “twofers” or free entry to "one child under 12...with the purchase of one adult admission to Darling Lili” (“Capri”, 2D). A theatre in Fort Lauderdale offered “free admission to World War I veterans in uniform during matinees Monday through Friday” (“’Darling Lili’ Ducats,” 5D). Possibly well-intentioned gestures but it was bottom-barrel marketing that fostered an unfortunate aura of abject desperation around the film that likely turned off more patrons than it enticed. 
Against this sorry backdrop of shambolic distribution and ham-fisted marketing, the meticulous handling of Darling Lili at Radio City Music Hall served as a strikingly singular counterpoint. The remarkable commercial success of the film at that venue -- which, if reported figures are to be believed, represented well over a third of the film’s entire US grosses (“US Films,” 184) -- can only be attributed in good part to the care and professionalism with which the Hall managed the film’s exhibition. One can’t help but wonder, therefore, how different the overall commercial fate of Darling Lili might have been had Paramount exercised a more discriminating distribution plan, affording the film the kind of special-event release it enjoyed in New York. It’s unlikely Lili would ever have been a major hit -- it was simply too narrow in appeal and out-of-step with the rapidly changing times -- but it certainly could have gone much further in recouping costs and might even have realised a modest profit. At a minimum, it would have helped redeem the film from its unjust reputation as the “Edsel that almost bankrupted Paramount Pictures” (Rosenfield, 5).
As a coda to this account of the exceptional history of Darling Lili at the Radio City Music Hall, it is interesting to note that the film fared well in New York not just commercially but also critically, Some of the film’s best US reviews came from New York critics -- a surprising turn-of-events given how notoriously hostile the East Coast critical establishment had been to Julie Andrews’ earlier screen musicals. Wanda Hale of the New York Daily News gave Darling Lili three-and-a-half stars out of four, writing:
“Radiantly beautiful, elegantly turned out, Julie Andrews graces Radio City Music Hall in a burst of song and dance, adventure and romance...[I]t’s Darling Lili everybody loves, so will you, you Music Hall patrons--you and the family” (Hale, 39).
Vincent Canby (1970) of the New York Times found Darling Lili “a pure if not perfect comedy” with “a lot of perverse charm and real cinematic beauty.” He continued: 
“Although Julie Andrews (the film, not stage, star) has always struck me as a very mitigated delight, she may be the perfect centerpiece for this sort of fantasy. That is, her angular, aggressive profile, combined with her coolness and precision as a comedienne and a singer, give the immediate, comic lie to the adventures of a supposedly irresistible femme fatale. She thus is immensely funny...” (16).
In a rare honour, the New York Times afforded Darling Lili a second review from Roger Greenspan (1970) who argued for the film as a minor masterpiece of refined, borderline philosophical, sensibilities. “[O]ne very bright critic I know...has already compared the film, ecstatically, with Max Ophul’s great Lola Montes,” he remarked before launching into his own rhapsodic paean:
“To her characterisation, Miss Andrews brings a precision of gesture that matches Edwards’s directorial precision and that constitutes one of the most excitingly controlled expressions of theatrical presence I have ever seen in a movie. Not cold; elegant, finely drawn, perfect of its period--and yet inward, self-sustaining, as if already committed to that gorgeously contemplative state of transport that is the subject of the movie within the movie to look for in Darling Lili” (S2-10).
In a similar move, the inaugural issue of the New York-based cinephile journal, On Film devoted not one but two essay-tributes to Darling Lili from Stuart Byron and Mike Prokosch respectively. The former gushed:
“Darling Lili comes at the end of the big-budget musical cycle, and it [is] one of the only...good things to come out of the whole rotten effort to reduplicate The Sound of Music. But in any case, a masterpiece it is--Blake Edwards’ most beautiful film to date and surely his most meaningful. ... Edwards is the first director to utilise Julie Andrews’ full resources. Her rapid manner of speaking becomes the neutral fulcrum of her moods--it is sincerity hiding danger, or bitterness hiding love. Her singing, however tender on the surface, always gives the impression of concealing a quick intelligence ready to spring forth when needed” (Byron 1970, 31, 34).
Prokosch (1970) was equally smitten, calling Darling Lili “the only work of art Hollywood ha[s] released in 1970″:
“First. one must forget one’s preconceptions of Julie Andrews and look at the way Blake Edwards, the film’s director, casts his wife with remarkable shrewdness: Lili Smith is a young British singer caught in a situation she cannot master. What more natural part could Julie Andrews want? ... Darling Lili is really gutsy in its formal expression...Edwards’ control of the...formal means at his disposal--stylized lighting and colour, split-up background compositions, and especially cutting--displays a...complete knowledge of their emotional effect. What makes Darling Lili unique among recent releases, though, is its careful structuring. Almost every sequence...takes a clear place in the design of the film” (96).
If it sounds like these critics were a little woozy on the then new wine of auteur film theory, a measure of sobriety was served by none other than Andrew Sarris, chief architect of American auteurism, who filed a somewhat  more reserved, but nevertheless appreciative, review of Darling Lili for the Village Voice:
“Darling Lili is cinema a la folie, a rhapsody of romantic madness amid the current cacophony of absurdist dissonances, a sentimental valentine from Blake Edwards to Julie Andrews complete with gypsy violins and a Snoopy sub-plot about the Red Baron and the Dawn Patrol...but I’m afraid it won’t work for most audiences on any level. Its ingredients -- romance, satire, musical comedy, deadpan farce -- mix without blending. The song numbers don’t soar high enough and the prats don’t fall hard enough. But Darling Lili is never less than likeable, and its graceful professionalism is especially refreshing in this long hot summer of assorted crudities” (Sarris 1970, 47).
Despite his reservations, Sarris still included Darling Lili in his end-of-year list of the best films of 1970 -- as did several other Village Voice critics: Stuart Byron, Richard Corliss, Stephen Gottlieb, and William Paul (Sarris 1971, 59). 
Now, if only the critics and audiences west of the Hudson had shown Darling Lili half-as-much love as the crowds at New York’s Radio City Music Hall, who knows how different the course of Hollywood history -- or at least that of the Julie Andrews screen musical -- might have been...
Sources:
“Amusements Today.” Florida Today. 2 October 1970: 11A.
Byron, Stuart. “Darling Lili.” On Film. 1: 1, 1970: 30-34.
Caen, Herb. “It’s News to Me.” Hartford Sentinel. 5 August 1970: 6-B.
Canby, Vincent. “Screen: ‘Darling Lili’ Sets the Stage for Pure Comedy of Romantic gestures.” New York Times. 24 July 1970: 16.
“Capri: Florentines! Something Wonderful! Has Happened to the Movies!” Florence Morning News. 12 August 1970: 2-A.
“‘Darling Lili’ Ducats Pared for Retirees.” Fort Lauderdale News and Sun-Sentinel. 27 June 1970: 5D.
Dick, Bernard F. Engulfed: The Death of Paramount Pictures and the Birth of Corporate Hollywood. Louisville, KY: University of Kentucky Press, 2001.
Francisco, Charles. The Radio City Music Hall: An Affectionate History of the World's Greatest Theater. New York: E.P. Dutton, 1979.
Goldman, Harry. “Radio City Music Hall.” Journal of American Culture. 1 1, Spring 1978: 96-111.
Greenspan. Roger. “Oh! What a Lovely Spy.” New York Times. 9 August 1970: S2-1, 10. 
Hale, Wanda. “Darling Julie Sparkles as Musical Spy.” Daily News. 24 July 1970: 57.
Jose, “House Review: Music Hall N.Y.” Variety. 29 July 1970: 54.
“’Lili’ and Revues, Tally Darling 285G.” Variety. 29 July 1970: 9.
“’Lili’ Hitting Peak.” Boxoffice. 10 August 1970: E-2.
“Man’s Movie.” Winona Daily News. 7 August 1970: 13.
“N.Y. Full of Tourists; Divided Between ‘Darling’ and ‘Denmark’.” Variety. 12 August 1970: 9.
“New York Sound Track.” Variety. 29 July 1970: 20.
“Palms Advertisement.” Arizona Republic. 31 July 1970: 64.
“Par Gets Hall’s Summer Spot for its ‘Darling Lili’.” Variety. 21 January 1970: 3.
“Paramount’s Summer Playoff Strategy: 5,000 Bookings for Eight Major Films.” Variety. 3 June 1970: 5.
“Picture Grosses: Broadway.” Variety. 23 September 1970: 15.
Prokosch, Mike. “On Film/Feature Film: Darling Lili.” On Film. 1: 1, 1970: 96-97.
“Radio City Music Hall’s All-Time Boxoffice Darling.” Variety. 5 August 1970: 12.
Rosenfield, Paul. “Reconcilable Differences.” Los Angeles Times-Calendar. 12 July 1987: 4-5.
Sarris, Andrew. “Films In Focus: ‘Darling Lili’.” The Village Voice. 13 August 1970: 47, 52.
________. “Films In Focus” The Village Voice. 21 January 1971: 59.
“Sign of Summer.” Boxoffice. 26 January 1970: cover.
Taylor, Robert. “‘Lili’ Can Be Charming.” Oakland Tribune. 27 June 1970: 21-E.
“This Summer’s One and Only Total Family Entertainment.” Tucson Daily Citizen. 5 August 1970: 24
Thomas, Bob. “Julie Andrews Praises ‘Lili’.” Courier-News. 15 September 1970: 13.
“Trouble in Paradise.” Newsweek. 25 October 1971: 113-115.
“U.S. Films’ Share-of-Market Profile.” Variety. 12 May 1971: 36-38, 122, 171-174, 178-179, 182-183, 186-187, 190-191, 205-206.
Weiler, A.H. “Big ‘Darling Lili’ Advance.” New York Times. 23 June 1970: 37.
Copyright © Brett Farmer 2020
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fceulrike5470 · 4 years
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hazelnmae · 5 years
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Lies Travel Faster: Chapter Ten
Summary: Sophia Murphy’s life seems to be on the upswing when she takes a job with Birmingham’s notorious Shelby Company Ltd. But when she falls for her boss, CEO and ruthless gangster, Tommy Shelby, she finds herself wrapped up in a tangled web of danger and deceit. After all, lies travel faster than the truth.
Tags: Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character; Tommy/Assistant Trope (it’s a hill I’ll die on)
Warnings: angst; smut; violence; language; rape/non-con; death
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CHAPTER 10 (read Chapter 9 or start at the beginning with Chapter 1)
Sophie met Robert at the tea rooms.
The irony of this was not lost on her, though why she continually agreed to meet Ada at the tea rooms was still a mystery. In truth, she longed for Ada’s companionship and relished in a few quiet hours out from under the watchful eye of Tommy and his men. Even though it had been three months since they took out Changretta, Tommy still insisted on posting protection around the city for his family. And he still considered Sophie part of that family despite the fact that they hadn’t acted like much more than acquaintances since the night of the fight.
Robert had already been seated in the room when Sophie and Ada were escorted to their table. She’d noticed his gaze, but ignored it for most of the afternoon. As he was leaving, though, he approached the women and, after a few moments of small talk about the weather, he apologized for his forwardness and asked her for a date. It wasn’t until after he left that Sophie realized she hadn’t said a word to him.
She could tell from her friend’s face that she was disappointed. Ada hoped that Sophie and Tommy would somehow put their issues behind them and would find a way to rekindle what she was sure had been stirring between them. Sophie, though, had convinced herself that none of those stirrings had actually occurred. She and Tommy had only ever wanted one thing from each other. She’d needed a job and he’d needed an assistant. Sure, they were both lonely and may have drifted toward one another because of it, but in the end they both seemed to believe it was a mistake and seemed relieved it had ended as quickly as it began.
It had been three months since she moved back to Small Heath. She’d called Robert the next day, although she’d struggled to recall what he looked like. She remembered he was blonde and thought he may be handsome, but she only saw Tommy’s face when she closed her eyes. When they met for dinner that night, she realized she was right--he was quite handsome. Tall, blonde, green eyes, and wide shoulders--he was different from Tommy. She needed different.
Through the conversation she came to learn he was in local politics. Another fundamental difference. He was a man who could give her an honest life, a man who smiled freely, a man who said he wanted to fight for the residents of Birmingham. But a man as bland as the crackers served with her soup.
She courted Robert for the next few months, but she only allowed him to court a ghost of herself, something that didn’t exist and never would--something that was better suited to his life. It had been easy enough and she couldn’t help but think this is how Tommy had been living all those years since the war.
Tommy hadn’t said a word about the relationship, though she was sure he'd known. He hadn’t said much to her at all and even avoided being alone with her, opting to leave the office door open if he did need to conduct business with only Sophie. It was so unlike him that she didn’t know what to make of it. Tommy never seemed to care what others thought and certainly never seemed uncomfortable or less than perfectly self-possessed. But now he acted as if her presence was almost unbearable.
It hurt her more deeply than she let on.
There were days she thought he paraded women past her just to make her jealous but really she knew he was just moving on with his life.
Not wanting to choose between her friend and her brother, Ada attempted to bridge the gap and spent some time with Robert, later giving him her stamp of approval. To the rest of the Shelby family, Robert wasn’t a topic for discussion. Polly secretly hoped it would fizzle as slowly and dully as it’d started.
But it hadn’t.
Then Sophie found the ring in Robert’s nightstand.
She knew he’d ask her soon.
And she knew she’d say "yes" when he did.
____________________
She entered his office as quietly as she’d knocked, careful not to draw too much attention to herself. When Tommy looked up and realized it was her, her dropped his pen on the desk and leaned back in his chair.
“What can I do for you, Sophie?” he asked.
She felt a cold sweat break on her neck. Brandishing a perfectly wrapped box from behind her back, Sophie responded, “I just have a little something for Charlie’s birthday.” And after a pause, “I saw it and couldn’t resist.”
He took the gift from her and thought a moment before clearing his throat. “Why don’t you join us for his party tomorrow?”
“Oh I couldn’t impose.”
“You’re invited, Sophie. You can even bring Robert, if you’d like. I’ve yet to meet him.” Tommy forced a smile.
It startled her to hear Robert’s name on Tommy’s lips. She assumed he knew about them, it wasn’t a secret, but she somehow hoped they could go on forever never discussing it.
“I’m not sure he’d be available,” she stammered, trying to mask the uneasiness in her voice. “But I’d love to see Charlie. It’s been so long.” She responded.
“He misses you too,” Tommy said quietly, looking down at the box in his hands.
____________________
The car pulled up outside her flat at 10:00 am sharp. A young man in a peaked cap was driving and Sophie did her best to make small talk with him during the drive to Arrow House. He answered every question calling her “ma’am.” Sophie just laughed. “I’m hardly old enough to be a ma’am to you,” she said.
“True, ma’am, but Mr. Shelby instructed us to show you the utmost respect,” the young man replied. “He said you were a real classy lady.”
Sophie could only smile. Of course he had.
“Alright, well just between the two of us, then, you can call me Sophie,” she’d told him with a wink. The rest of the drive was pleasant and decidedly more comfortable. So much so that they’d arrived at Arrow House much quicker than either driver or passenger had realized.
Upon entering Arrow House, Sophie was greeted by an exuberant birthday boy who, after a quick but tight embrace, told her she could find the whole family in the back garden.
It was the most relaxed she’d ever seen Tommy--even after all those weeks she’d spent in his home. He was wearing his usual three piece suit, but his hair was a bit tousled and he seemed to actually be enjoying himself. Life was, no doubt, a little easier with Changretta out of the picture. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought that he may be finding a bit of peace finally. He noticed her across the yard and came to greet her.
“You made it,” he said.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” she blushed.
“Well, it may be Charlie’s birthday, but I have a surprise to share with you.” And he nodded in the direction of the stables.
________________________
The horse was already saddled up when she entered the stables. He was a deep chestnut with darker coloring on his mane and tail.
“Is this Charlie’s gift?” She asked, smiling wide.
Tommy only hummed in assent as he lit a cigarette. “Well, go on then,” he said, motioning toward the horse.
Sophie looked the horse over and ran her hand down his silky coat. He reacted by leaning into her. Much like the first time she met Belle, Sophie had a sudden urge to ride--to get out in the fresh air and leave her worries behind. She imagined what a brisk ride might do for her anxiety about being back at Arrow House. The anxiety that came with actually talking to Tommy again about more than just ledgers and appointments.
“He likes you,” Tommy said, eliciting a small laugh from Sophie.
“Are you planning to ride him today?” She asked.
“Hmm, yes,” he responded. “I thought we’d both go.” He moved to the back of the stable and retrieved Belle, who was also dressed and saddled.
Sophie couldn’t help the smile spreading across her face. I’d been months since she’d been on a horse and she missed it terribly. Sensing her excitement, Tommy handed her the reigns. She noticed the hint of a smile spreading across his face.
________________________
The rain came suddenly and, of course, just as they had turned the farthest corner of the lower field. Tommy was in front and turned to get her attention before moving his horse into action back toward the house. He’d turned a few times to ensure Sophie was still close behind him as he navigated over the muddy terrain, finally arriving back at the house soaking wet. The party had moved indoors and only remnants remained strewn through the garden.
Standing in the kitchen, she gladly took the towel he offered and worked it through her damp hair. He’d taken the brunt of the rain, having shed his coat and thrown it over her head and shoulders as they made their way across the lawn to the house.
She handed the towel back to him. “I think you need it more than I do,” she said.
Tommy chuckled and brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear before taking the towel. She only remembered seeing him smile a handful of times, and was reminded just how lovely it was.
Just then, the door to the kitchen flung open and Ada and Polly entered, a concerned look on both their faces.
“What is it?” Tommy asked, his brow furrowed now, the smile having completely drained from his face.
“There you are!” Robert exclaimed as he entered the room. “I’ve been worried sick. Damn foolish of you to go riding in the rain.” He was belligerent as he pushed through the women still standing in the doorway. The dark shade of red that covered his face would have betrayed his anger if his words had not.
“It wasn’t raining when we set off,” Tommy said in his calm, low brum. He’d sensed Sophie’s shock and wanted to spare her the embarrassment. “We haven’t met. I’m Tommy Shelby,” he continued extending his hand and brandishing his best, most disdainful smirk.
Robert looked straight at him but didn’t extend the same pleasantries. Ignoring Tommy’s outstretched hand, he turned to Sophie instead.
“It’s time you head home,” he said.
“But Robert,” she replied with a smile, “the party has really just begun.”
“We still need to open presents and cut the cake,” Ada said, trying now to diffuse the situation.
“You’re welcome to join us,” Tommy added, hoping he’d refuse.
“Sophie really must be going,” Robert continued, sternly. “We both should.”
It was Polly’s turn to interject, watching the hatred grow in her nephew’s demeanor. “We can make sure Sophie gets home safely,” she said.
Sensing he was fighting a losing battle, Robert turned to Sophie. “Can we speak somewhere privately?”
They turned back toward the kitchen door, Robert forcefully grabbing Sophie’s elbow. Tommy’s jaw clenched in reaction, but Polly stepped forward and stopped him before he could make matters worse. Sophie jerked away from Robert, but led him out of the hallway and into Tommy’s office.
“This is ridiculous,” he spewed through gritted teeth. “You have no business spending so much time here alone, and you certainly shouldn't be riding off on horseback with strange men.”
“I'm hardly alone, Robert. And Tommy’s hardly a stranger,” she said as she rolled her eyes. She’d never seen him so worked up and assumed it was simply out of worry for her safety.
“Tommy?” he replied. “That’s a little informal for your boss, isn’t it?”
"He’s a friend. They all are.”
“What they are,” he continued, moving closer to her now, “Is a bunch of Pikey criminals.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She’d been seeing him for three months and had never once witnessed Robert lose his temper or raise his voice--let alone so openly belittle someone. He was supposed to be a good man. An honest man. And a good and honest man wouldn’t find it so easy to be so hateful.
“Friends,” he scoffed, turning away from her again.
“They’ve been nothing but kind to me.”
“Only because they want something from you.”
“And what is that, Robert? What could I possibly have to give that the Shelbys would want?" She felt herself getting angry now and fought the urge to break into a shouting match.
He swung back around and moved closer again, she could feel his hot breath on her face.
“Just one Shelby. Thomas doesn’t want something from you. He wants you. For himself.”
Sophie couldn’t understand how he’d jumped to that conclusion. She'd hardly spoken of Tommy, or any Shelby, to him. She'd certainly given him no reason to believe Tommy wanted her--or vice versa.
“Or has he already had you?”
Anger bubbled closer to the surface now. He was jealous. Still, Sophie said nothing.
“Oh my god. Have you fucked him?”
Robert didn’t know about her past with Tommy--about how close they’d come to letting the spark ignite. Again, though, she refused to answer him. Her mind was racing too quickly to even muster a response. She was reminded of the first time she'd met Tommy and how at that meeting he'd accused her of sleeping with John. Fucking idiots, she thought. All of them.
“Answer me.”
“No,” she finally said.
“Have you kissed him?”
“Robert--” She tried to move away, but he interrupted her answer and her movement.
“Answer the question, Sophie.”
What was the fucking point, she thought. He already had his mind made up.
“Jesus,” he muttered.
“It was noth--”
“Don’t give me that,” he shouted, pointing a finger in her face. “You’re quitting that job tomorrow.”
Her job was the only thing in her life that provided earnest happiness. It’d been hard since her fallout with Tommy, sure, but feeling useful, getting to see her family daily, growing closer to Ada, all of that was thanks to her job. She couldn’t imagine giving it up. And she couldn't believe he was asking her to do it.
“And why aren’t you wearing your ring?” He asked now, searching her over for the first time since he'd arrived.
“Robert, no one knows about our engagement. You said you wanted to announce it--”
“I'll announce it tomorrow and you’ll resign your job. Then we can put these fucking Shelbys behind us.”
“Robert--”
“I expect Polly to bring you home. I don’t want his dirty hands all over you.”
With that, Robert stormed out of the office, past Polly who was standing in the hallway, and out the front doors. Tommy hadn’t heard their conversation, but he watched Robert leave the drive as Charlie opened his gifts at the dining table.
________________________
Tommy stood in his office, turning over the small wooden horse Sophie had gifted Charlie.  His son had turned eight and while it still hurt to know she wouldn’t watch him grow, he knew Grace would have been proud of the person Charlie was becoming.
They'd given the boy the same thing--each gifting him a horse in their own way. Sophie told him she saw the toy horse in a shop window and couldn’t resist. He wondered how many times a day things reminded her of Charlie. And of him. He wondered if she thought of him as much as he thought of her. And he wondered what she saw in a man like Robert.
“I’m leaving now,” she said, entering the office. “Polly’s giving me a ride.”
“I could take you,” he replied sadly.
“I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you. Besides, Polly has to go that direction anyhow.” She said quickly, before he could object again.
They each stood for a moment, letting the awkward silence fall between them as it had so many times over the last few months. He’d been leaning against his desk, but Tommy now moved toward her slowly. “Thank you for coming.”
“Thank you for the invitation,” she responded. “And thank you for the ride. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed that” She said, looking down at her hands.
“You know you can come ride anytime you want. Belle is as much yours as she is mine,” he answered. “And I’m sure Charlie would be happy to share Henry with you.”
Henry. 
He’d named the horse after her brother. 
Tears welled in her eyes. All this time, she thought he was pushing her away because he didn’t care. Maybe he’d been pushing because he cared too much.
Stepping even closer now, so that his hands could reach her shoulders, Tommy asked, “You sure you won’t let me drive you?”
Sophie looked up and met his eyes. She wanted to say yes. Wanted to spend a few more moments with him alone. Maybe she’d even work up the nerve to tell him she was engaged. He could walk her to the door and brush her cheek with his calloused fingers. His breath would blow the delicate hairs around her face as he leaned in for a kiss.
But no. She couldn’t let him drive her. She’d made her commitment, her choice, and she knew getting wrapped up in Tommy again would be a mistake. Despite the horrible side she'd seen of him today, she still wanted to believe Robert was a good man--a good man who could give her a good life.
“I just want to spend more time with you,” Tommy said.
It was the most heartfelt thing he’d ever said to her. He looked away as he said it, as if he knew it, too.
“We both know that’d be a mistake, Tommy,” she responded.
________________________
As she sped down the road, Polly glanced over at Sophie. She was more concerned than ever about Sophie's future and how it may impact her nephew.
“He doesn't know you're getting married,” Polly said.
Sophie thought better than to ask how Polly knew. Polly had her third eye, after all, and may as well have known everything. There was no keeping a secret from her--especially one that impacted the people she loved.
And as much as he infuriated her, Polly loved her nephew. She had also grown to love Sophie.
“Robert wants me to tell him tomorrow,” Sophie said, looking out the window. “Wants me to quit my job.”
“And why is that?” Polly asked now, lighting a cigarette as she balanced the wheel on her knee.
“He's afraid of Tommy.”
Polly scoffed, letting out a puff of smoke as she did. “Yeah, well, he should be. They way he grabbed your arm tonight, I thought Tommy--”
“No. Not like that.” Sophie interrupted. “I mean, he's afraid of me and Tommy.”
Polly just hummed and drove on.
_____________________
Read Chapter 11
Thanks so much for reading! Feedback welcome and appreciated!! XOXO
Here ya go!! @justanothershelby @l0tsofpennies 
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Worm 2.4 - In which Emma and her friends are utter monsters
“Nobody likes her.  Nobody wants her here,” Julia said.
“Such a loser.  She didn’t even turn in the major project for art, last Friday,” Sophia responded.
“If she’s not going to try, then why is she even coming to school?”
Ooh goodie! This chapter is already starting out fucked!
Despite the way the conversation sounded, they were talking to me.  They were just pretending to talk to one another.  It was both calculating in how they were managing plausible deniability while at the same time they were acting totally juvenile by pretending I wasn’t there.  A blend of immaturity mixed with craftiness in a way only high schoolers could manage.  I would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it, if it hadn’t been at my expense.
Wildbow captures the malignant pettiness of high school bullying so well. This is already making me mad with how ..real it is. The crude but effective phychological abuse.
The moment I had left the classroom, Emma, Madison and Sophia had crowded me into a corner, with another six girls backing them up.  I was unable to squeeze past them without getting pushed or elbowed back, so I couldn’t do much more than lean against the window, listening while eight of the girls were rattling off an endless series of taunts and jibes.  Before one girl was even finished, another started up.  All the while, Emma stayed back and stayed quiet, the slightest of smiles on her face.  I couldn’t meet the eyes of any of the other girls without them barking a fresh torrent of insults directly to my face, so I just glared at Emma.
I bet Emma is just relishing in all the social power she has here, letting her minions do everything for her and just looking amused at Taylor’s expense
Social hierarchy is such a cancerous thing in high school.
“Ugliest girl in our grade.”
They were barely thinking about what they were saying and a lot of the insults were wildly off the mark or contradictory.  One would say I was a slut, for example, then another might say a guy would puke before he touched me.  The point wasn’t being witty, being smart or being on target.  It was more about delivering the feeling behind the words over and over, hammering it in.  If I’d had just a moment to butt in, maybe I could have come up with retorts.  If I could just kill their momentum, they probably wouldn’t get back into the easy rhythm again.  That said, I couldn’t find the words, and there weren’t any openings in the conversation where I wouldn’t just be talked over.
They are taking the approach of trying to land as many hits as possible, without even bothering for coherency or effectiveness. Just a nice way for them to say to her how much they fucking loathe her.
Lovely
While this particular tactic was new to me, I’d been putting up with stuff like this for a year and a half, now.  At a certain point, I’d come to the conclusion that it was easier to sit back and take it, when it came to most things.  They wanted me to fight back, because everything was stacked in their favor.  If I stood up for myself and they still ‘won’, then it only served to feed their egos.  If I came out ahead in some way, then they got more persistent and mean for the next time.  So for much the same reason I hadn’t fought Madison for the homework she had taken from me, I just leaned against the wall next to the window and waited for them to get bored with their game or get hungry enough to leave and go have their lunches.
Ugghghghghghghg
The whole situation is just horrible. If she fights back they would call her crazy or dangerous or pathetic and they will intensify their abuse. But just taking it like this can’t be good for her psyche, with all the constant and relentless aggresion.
“What does she use to wash her face?  A Brillo pad?”
“She should!  She’d look better!”
“Never talks to anybody.  Maybe she knows she sounds like a retard and keeps her mouth shut.”
“No, she’s not that smart.”
No more than three feet behind Emma, I could see Mr. Gladly leaving his classroom.  The tirade didn’t stop as I watched him tuck a stack of folders under one arm, find his keys and lock the door.
“If I were her, I’d kill myself,” one of the girls announced.
Mr. Gladly turned to look me in the eyes.
First off, that kys comment made me considerably even more disgusted
Second, Mr Gladly, you can see it happening, right now! Please do something! Even if it is just breaking this up with your presence.
“So glad we don’t have gym with her.  Can you imagine seeing her in the locker room?  Gag me with a spoon.”
I don’t know what expression I had on my face, but I know I didn’t look happy.  No less than five minutes ago, Mr. Gladly had been trying to convince me to go with him to the office and tell the principal about the bullying.  I watched him as he gave me a sad look, shifted the file folders to his free hand and then walked away.
GLADLY YOU INCREDIBLE PIECE OF SHIT
Way to prove how ineffective the school system would be, with just a single action
Most friendly and approachable teacher? More like most utterly spineless coward
I was stunned.  I just couldn’t wrap my head around how he could just ignore this.  When he had been trying to help me, had he just been covering his own ass, doing what was required of him in the face of a situation he couldn’t ignore?  Had he just given up on me?  After trying to help, in his own completely ineffective way, after I turned his offer for help down twice, he just decided I just wasn’t worth the effort?
I really hope Gladly isn’t just rationalizing this as being fine because Taylor refused his help. Because that ISNT HOW THAT WORKS
YOU’RE A GROWN-ASS ADULT, YOU SHOULD KNOW NOT TO LIMPLY WALK AWAY FROM A GROUP OF STUDENTS ABUSING ANOTHER STUDENT TO THE POINT OF CALLING FOR HER SUICIDE. EVEN IF SHE REFUSES YOUR HELP, IT IS YOUR DUTY AS HER TEACHER AND AS A FUCKING HUMAN BEING
“You should have seen her group fail in class just now.  It was painful to watch.”
OH AND YOU ALL CAN ALSO GO TO HELL WITH THE ASSIGNMENT BULLSHIT
I clenched my fist, then forced myself to relax it.  If we were all guys, this scenario would be totally different.  I was in the best shape of my life.  I could have swung a few punches from the very start, caused a bloody nose or two, maybe.  I know I would have lost the fight in the end, getting shoved to the ground by force of numbers and kicked while I was down, but things would have ended there, instead of dragging on like they were here.  I’d hurt physically for days afterwards, but I’d at least have had the satisfaction of knowing some of the others were hurting too, and I wouldn’t have to sit through this barrage of insults.  If there was enough damage done, the school would have to take notice, and they wouldn’t be able to ignore the circumstances of a one-against-nine fight.  Violence gets attention.
But things didn’t work that way here.  Girls played dirty.  If I decked Emma, she would run to the office with some fabricated story, her friends backing up her version of events.  For most, ratting to the faculty was social suicide, but Emma was more or less top dog.  If she went to the principal, people would only take things more seriously.  By the time I got back to school, they would have spread the story through the grapevine in a way that made me look like a total psycho.  Things would get worse.  Emma would be seen as the victim and girls who had previously ignored the bullying would join in on Emma’s behalf.
One of the reasons why psychological abuse is so much more insidious than phisical abuse in  many cases. It is so much harder to fight against.
“And she smells,” one girl said, lamely.
“Like expired grape and orange juice,” Madison cut in with a little laugh.  Again, bringing up the juice?  I suspected that one had been her idea.
Madison, fuck off
It seemed like they were running out of steam.  I figured it was just a minute or two before they got bored and walked away.
It seemed Emma got the same impression, because she stepped forward.  The group parted to give her room.
“What’s the matter, Taylor?”  Emma said, “You look upset.”
Emma, fuck off
Her words didn’t seem to fit the situation.  I had maintained my composure for however long they had been at it.  What I’d been feeling was more a mixture of frustration and boredom than anything else.  I opened my mouth to say something.  A graceless “Fuck you” would have sufficed.
That Taylor is so jaded that this doesn’t even affect her that much is so fucking depressing
“So upset you’re going to cry yourself to sleep for a straight week?” she asked.
My words died in my throat as I processed her words.
.....You just pulled some psychological bullshit didn’t you?
Almost a year before we had started high school, I had been at her house, the both of us eating breakfast and playing music way too loud. Emma’s older sister had come downstairs with the phone.  We’d turned down the music, and my dad had been on the other end, waiting to tell me in a broken voice that my mom had died in a car accident
....Oh no. No no no no
I see what Emma might have just done and it is fucking evil
And this confirms that her mom died instead of her and Danny just breaking up...Fuck
Emma’s sister had given me a ride to my place, and I bawled the entire way there.  I remember Emma crying too, out of sympathy, maybe.  It could have been the fact that she thought my mom was the coolest adult in the world.  Or perhaps it was because we really were best friends and she had no idea how to help me.
....What happened to you Emma? What made you so fucked up? How did you change so much. You cried about her mom, you were or at least seemed decent once!
I didn’t want to think about the month that had followed, but fragments came to mind without my asking.  I could remember overhearing my dad berating my mother’s body, because she’d been texting while driving, and she was the only one to blame.  At one point, I barely ate for five straight days, because my dad was such a wreck that I wasn’t on his radar. I’d eventually turned to Emma for help, asking to eat at her place for a few days.  I think Emma’s mom figured things out, and gave my dad a talking to, because he started pulling things together.  We’d established our routine, so we wouldn’t fall apart as a family again.
Knowing Danny he probably blamed himself more than he blamed her. And he shutting down like that... oh god.
And the fact that Emma was a shining light in all this is just so... twisted
Now Taylor doesn’t even have the moments of respite and support from that anymore. When Emma betrayed her, she betrayed her completely and utterly. These memories are retroactively tainted because of her
It was a month after my mom had died that Emma and I had found ourselves sitting on the bridge of a kid’s play structure in the park, our rear ends cold from the damp wood, sipping coffee we’d bought from the Donut Hole.  We didn’t have anything to do, so we had just been walking around and talking about whatever.  Our wandering had taken us to the playground, and we were resting our heels.
“You know, I admire you,” she had said, abruptly.
This sad and beautifully bitterweet memory, absolutely corrupted
“Why?” I had responded, completely mystified about the fact that someone gorgeous and amazing and popular like her could find something to admire in me.
“You’re so resilient.  After your mom died, you were totally in pieces, but you’re so together after a month.  I couldn’t do that.”
Past Emma makes me rage and fucking cry.
She honesly seemed like a good friend and isn’t that terrifying? That a close friend, a trusted friend, could backstab you like that?
I could remember my admission, “I’m not resilient.  I can hold it together during the day, but I’ve cried myself to sleep for a straight week.”
That had been enough to open the floodgates, right there.  She gave me her shoulder to cry on, and our coffee was cold before I was done.
AND THERE IT FUCKING IS
Emma you fucking monster
How dare you
Now, as I gaped at Emma, wordless, her smile widened.  She remembered what I had said, then.  She knew the memories it would evoke.  At some point, that recollection had crossed her mind, and she had decided to weaponize it.  She’d been waiting to drop it on me.
You’re so fucking repulsive
Fuck me, it worked.  I felt the trail of a tear on my cheek.  My power roared at the edges of my consciousness, buzzing, pressuring me. I suppressed it.
“She is!  She’s crying!”  Madison laughed.
Angry at myself, I rubbed my hand over my cheek to brush the tear away.  More were already welling up, ready to take its place.
“It’s like you have a superpower, Emma!” one of the girls tittered.
You all better be thankful you’re not bug food at this point
I had taken off my backpack so I could lean against the wall.  I reached to pick it up, but before I could, a foot hooked through the strap and dragged it away from me. I looked up and saw the owner of the foot – dark skinned, willowy Sophia – smirking at me.
“Oh em gee!  What’s she doing?” one of the girls said.
Sophia was leaning against the wall, one foot casually resting on top of my backpack.  I didn’t think it was worth fighting her over, if it gave her an opportunity to continue her game of keep-away.  I left the bag where it was and shoved my way through the gathered girls, bumping an onlooker with my shoulder hard enough to make him stumble.  I ran into the stairwell and out the doors on the ground floor.
Ok Sophia you can go die as well.
What an absolutely horrible group of people, holy shit.
I fled.  I didn’t check, but chances were they were watching from the window at the end of the hallway.  It didn’t really matter.  The fact that I had just promised to pay thirty five bucks of my own money for a World Issues textbook to replace the one that had been soaked with grape juice wasn’t my top concern.  Even if it was pretty much all the money I had left after buying the pieces for my costume.  My art midterm was in my bag as well, newly repaired.  I knew I wouldn’t get any of it back in one piece, if at all.
God this feels so hopeless.
The school is watching this and seeing how it’s making her miss classes and violate deadlines and they do nothing
No, my primary concern was getting out of there.  I wasn’t going to break the promise I had made to myself.  No using powers on them.  That was the line I wasn’t crossing.  Even if I did something utterly innocuous, like give them all lice, I didn’t trust myself to stop there.  I didn’t trust myself to keep from offering blatant hints that I had powers or spoiling my secret identity just to see the looks on their faces when they realized the girl they had been tormenting was a bona-fide superhero.  It was something I couldn’t help but daydream about, but I knew the long term ramifications would spoil that.
That is a sweet revenge fantasy, but yeah, compromising your secret identity isn’t worth it. There’s already a crazy dragon who wants you dead if he ever escapes
Perhaps most important, I rationalized, was keeping the two worlds separate.  What use was escapism, if the world I was escaping to was muddled with the people and things I was trying to avoid?
I feel you there, Taylor.
Even without any problems like you have, I would cringe if my different worlds (university, family, friends, online...) collided
Before the thought of going back to school had even crossed my mind, I found myself wondering what I was going to do to fill my afternoon.
...You’re totally going to consider TT’s proposal right now, aren’t you?
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johnny-and-dora · 6 years
Text
tell me you can’t bear a room that i’m not in
“I came to see what was taking so long - did you tidy up in here?” He’s wearing her blanket like a superhero cape and he’s got that stupid little smirk on his face and strictly platonic thoughts are few and far between.
or, the one where amy decides showing up unannounced at her flu-ridden best friend's/totally platonic co-worker's apartment to take care of him is a totally platonic activity to do. (late s2 pining)
for the wonderful erica @startofamoment <3
-
Amy can’t help it. She’s worried.
She’s been trying her best to fill in her paperwork with her usual diligence, even making rare use of her favourite fountain pen in the hopes it would set her back on track – but, frustratingly, her head is completely somewhere else today. No matter how hard she tries, the unsolved arson case sitting in front of her can’t captivate her attention like the unbearable abnormality of the desk opposite her can.
She glances at Jake’s empty seat and feels a twinge of nerves flutter in her stomach.
Amy’s been worrying about him a lot, lately. She’s barely seen him in these last few weeks, and between him getting his heart broken, being kidnapped and then being run over by a car (in that order), she’s had more than a lot to be worried about.
That being said, she also knows that she’s being irrational. Not everyone has an aversion to using up their sick days like she does – it would probably take a direct order from a superior officer to send her home even if she was on her deathbed. She’s immune to diseases most people haven’t even heard of, and she has a stronger immune system than everyone she knows.
But Jake’s not “everyone”. She goes through the facts she knows like she’s trying to solve a case - He loves his job as much, maybe even more than she does, and he hobbled into work with three cracked ribs and three broken toes a few weeks ago like it was nothing. He’s as ridiculously stubborn as she is so he usually needs to be forced to go home. He never takes time off.
The point is, his absence is just weird, and not because there’s no one around  to make fun of her or throw paper aeroplanes at her or send her that stupid video of a screaming sheep. She hasn’t seen him in a while now, and she’s worried. She’s allowed to be worried.
It’s a normal thing for a friend to be worried about another friend and their wellbeing. Completely platonically. As a friend.
Amy frowns.
“Is something the matter, Santiago?”
“Captain!” She says, practically jumping out of her seat to greet him. Holt’s face is, as usual, unreadable, though she could swear she detects a hint of concern. That or he just won a radio contest.
“No, Sir. Everything is tip-top. Ship-shape. A-Okay.” As usual, her mouth keeps going without her brain’s approval - she inwardly curses herself, glad that Jake isn’t actually around if only because he can’t see her embarrassing herself in front of the Captain again.
“I was just wondering, do you know where Jake…Detective Peralta is today?” - She asks, trying to sound as professional and nonchalant as possible – “We’re meant to be working the Mulligan arson together, and I…” Amy trails off, not sure how that sentence was supposed to end. Luckily Holt just nods slightly, which she assumes is her cue to stop letting words fall aimlessly out of her mouth.
“Detective Peralta called in sick this morning. I am sure he will be joining us again tomorrow. I assume you can continue your work in his absence?”
“Great. I mean, yes. Good. Thank you, Captain.” She sits back down as he returns to his office, sighing deeply, dismissing her anxieties the best she can. Her beloved paperwork is a welcome distraction, especially as she can actually fill it in without distraction from her desk partner for once.
Somewhat inevitably, though, the worry still lingers that he might actually be on his deathbed or something. She glances at her phone, wondering whether she should make sure he’s okay.
She dismisses the thought after a quiet moment of deliberation – smiling slightly despite herself, feeling her face flush a little. He can never know how worried she gets about him sometimes – Jake’s unbearable enough without any more ego boosts. She’d never hear the end of it.
Amy gets on with her work – but she’s still worried, and she’s still trying to deal with how much she misses him and how weird she should feel about that.
As if on cue, it can only be a few minutes later when her phone buzzes, like he was thinking the exact same thing. Maybe he can hear her thoughts.
God, she really hopes he can’t read her thoughts.
From: Jake Peralta, 11:24am [photo attached] i think i might actually be dying. bet ur gonna miss this beautiful face when i’m tragically struck down in the prime of life
Amy smiles at the photo of him - hair adorably chaotic and floofy, wrapped in a pitiful thin grey blanket, looking both very sorry for himself and slightly like ET. Something flutters in her chest again, but she doesn’t think it’s worry.
She bites her lip, sternly chiding herself for the feelings she doesn’t want suddenly weighing heavy in her gut, guilt and dread saturating the seemingly inevitable rush of endorphins she gets whenever he does something cute (which, recently, has been frustratingly frequently).
It’s not going to happen. Dating a cop ended pretty disastrously for her the last time, and she & Teddy didn’t have a share a desk. They’d be putting their professional relationship – even worse, their friendship – at risk, and it’s just not a risk she’s willing to take, especially as she can take Sophia as shiny, irritatingly beautiful proof that whatever feelings Jake had for her are now in the past.
Whatever might have happened between them has to stay as just that – a hypothetical. Some kind of alternate reality Amy finds herself wondering into far too regularly for the logical part of her brain’s liking.
They’re in such a good place right now. The last thing she wants is for that – or anything, really – to change. Even if she does stupid things like worry about him when he misses one day of work and laugh at his stupid jokes and smile whenever she sees his stupid face, like right now. She’s had these feelings before and they always go away after a little while.
To: Jake Peralta, 11:27am You look rough, pineapples. It’s weird without you here. It’s almost like work is actually getting done.
From: Jake Peralta, 11:28am rude santiago  i feel like a corpse that someone murdered, reanimated n then murdered again  my body is a temple how could it betray me like this??!
She exhales a little laugh, and, by instinct, tucks her hair behind her ears.
Of course, those feelings also have a tendency to come back, which makes her wonder if they ever really went away in the first place.
***
Amy exhales, knocks firmly on his door, and starts to wonder how - of all the places she could and should be on a Thursday night after a long shift - she ended up here.
It just sort of happens – the day slowly passes without any real incident, except the funky smells that permeate the bullpen after Charles’s failed attempts at a normal human lunch. She gets nowhere looking at old bank statements and scanning CCTV footage trying to track down this perp, and continues to glance at his empty seat every once in a while, wondering what kind of joke he’d crack.
It’s weird to think that last year he spent six months not sitting in that seat and now one day of absence feels almost as jarring. Apparently, it’s so jarring that it’s enough for her to make an unannounced house call, because she’s still worried about him and she still misses him and, if nothing else, he at least deserves a better quality blanket than that grey thin rag, for god’s sake. He deserves to be taken care of.
Of course, she’d spent twenty minutes at home trying to talk herself out of it whilst simultaneously raiding her cupboards for the thickest blanket she owns and putting her stovetop kettle on to boil. She’d spent the whole time driving to his apartment sternly muttering to herself that this was a bad idea - and now she’d spent a good five minutes just standing outside his door before knocking, trying to think of what to say.
She’d like the record to show that when it comes to Jake Peralta, she can average a total of about thirty-five minutes of self-restraint. Maybe it’s a good thing that she hasn’t seen him in a while.
She doesn’t have much time to dwell on that thought, however, as a clearly sleep deprived Jake opens the door and stares at her like he’s not convinced she’s actually real. It’s kind of adorable.
He’s a few shades paler that usual, his hair is a gloriously disastrous mess, and his grey t-shirt and sweatpants are a museum of stains of all different shapes and sizes - but he’s alive, and healthy enough, and visual conformation of those two facts takes a world of weight off her shoulders. He’s also genuinely surprised to see her judging from that cute dopey expression on his face.
The logical part of her instantly switches off like she’s blown her rational fuse. She also, somehow, seems to forget how to talk.
“…Ames? What are you-“
“I, um, brought tea. And an actual blanket. I thought…you might be cold.” She interrupts, hyperaware of the heat creeping up her body, suddenly unable to look him in the eye. Amy feels a sudden overwhelming urge to just throw the teapot she’s been cradling down at his feet and run for it, but she holds her ground.
“You…you brought tea?”
“It’s my abeula’s recipe – it’s really calming. I thought it might help.” There’s a pause, agonisingly long enough to make her certain that this was a mistake. “I can, um, go if you don’t-“
“No! No. It’s okay, come in.” Jake finally smiles, and she relaxes, stepping in to his apartment. It’s messier than usual, plaid scattered everywhere, various bowls and plates and cups in places where bowls and plates and cups shouldn’t be – but she lets it go, for now.
He stands a little awkwardly, a little self-consciously, as if he’s waiting for her to judge him on how he or his apartment looks - but she just smiles, diligently busying herself with making space to set the teapot down carefully on his coffee table. He’s uncharacteristically quiet until she looks up at him and clocks the way his hands seem to practically shake with nervous energy.
“Did you come here just to…take care of me?” He says it with this cute kind of half disbelief, half amusement, and she almost blushes. It’s the hesitation that gets her, the way he can’t quite believe it that moves to unearth her from the solid platonic ground she’s firmly rooted herself in.
This was definitely a mistake.
“Maybe.” Amy says, trying not to sound as self-conscious and/or as ridiculously obviously obsessed with him as she feels. “Do you want the blanket or not?”
There’s a beat of uncertainty before he nods - she takes her neatly folded blanket out of her bag and throws it at him.
“It’s my warmest one. If you spill anything on it, I will murder you.” Jake stares at the blanket, sniffs slightly, and stares back at her again before breaking out into a real, proper actual genuine smile that may as well set her on fire.
“Am I hallucinating you?” His voice is groggy, a little deeper than usual, she’s noticed. It makes her laugh.
“Nope. Lucky for you. Do you have mugs?” He gestures to the kitchen and she nods, weaving between his massage chairs, using all her willpower not to look back over her shoulder to see if he’s still watching her.
Jake’s kitchen is just about as chaotic as the rest of his day to day life seems to be – she throws open almost every cupboard she can find looking for what she needs. When that fails, she instinctively starts tidying things away, putting plates where she thinks his plates should go and putting his ridiculously large collection of empty orange soda cans in a separate bag for recycling. It’s a nice challenge, and she gets so into it that she barely notices him come in.
“I came to see what was taking so long - did you tidy up in here?” He’s wearing her blanket like a superhero cape and he’s got that stupid little smirk on his face and strictly platonic thoughts are few and far between.
“I’m doing you a favour.” She says, defensive; he just shrugs, opening a cupboard Amy didn’t even know existed and grabbing two mugs – one with a very large print of Charles’s beaming face that she recognises as an old Secret Santa gift, and a handmade one that looks like his mom’s ceramic work.
She takes them gladly, walking back to the coffee table while he follows her, clearly curious in a way that she loves. Amy pulls the tea cozy off and pours the tea out, softly exhaling, highly conscious of the quiet intense look he’s giving her that she can’t quite read.
There’s still this underlying awkwardness that undercuts everything she does, like they’re both not really sure why she’s doing it. It’s a familiar awkwardness – it’s been fizzling, on and off, between them since the Maple Inn - it hangs in the air, a question unspoken and unanswered by both of them. 
Neither dare acknowledge the tension, the infinite potential of more that so often permeates their interactions, made worse by shameless flirting and the ease in which they work together – and they do, work so well together, and that’s what makes it so hard to not at least give it a shot.
But they won’t, or at least Amy won’t. Because now would probably be the least romantic time for a first kiss possible, and because if it didn’t work, the loss of what they already have might just split her heart in two.
So she doesn’t acknowledge the way he’s staring at her like he’s trying to solve her, and interprets it another way. Any other way is something she’s woefully unprepared to talk about.
“If you say anything mean about my tea cozy you’re not getting any tea.” Amy glares at him pointedly and he holds up his hands in mock surrender. It’s normal and easy and familiar and she can breathe again as some of the tension dissipates.
“I don’t even know what a tea cozy is. Did you handknit that?”
“Maybe. Yes - I like knitting. I have actual interests outside of work.”
“Hey, I have cool other interests!”
“Die Hard doesn’t count.” She shakes her head – he’s about to challenge her but he’s interrupted by a abrupt coughing fit that goes on for slightly too long. She feels her own chest constrict with anxiety as he winces.
“Are you really dying?” She says, careful to be softer than she’s been since she got here - It’s hard not to be defensive when she feels like she’s defending her entire heart from just beating out of her chest. He sits down on the couch and smiles, if a little weakly.
“Nah. It’s just flu, but my ribs are still sore from my epic incredible car chase, so, y’know. I’m in agonising pain every time I breathe, I’m a martyr, it’s no biggie.” She rolls her eyes but her concern still aches in the pit of her stomach, and she thinks he can tell.
He gestures for her to hand him a mug and they take one in unison. Jake raises his like he’s proposing a toast.
“To health or whatever, and to Amy’s old lady tea.”
They clink the mugs together and both take a sip – it’s warm, comfortingly so, and does wonders to calm nerves that she’s not even sure why she has in the first place. She cautiously glances at him for approval and the small content smile on his face is more than enough. Amy wants to do everything she can to earn that smile forever.
The two of them exchange quiet small talk in-between sips, like the few updates she has on the arson case in his absence and how bored he’s been holed up in his apartment for the past two days like he’s carrying some kind of zombie plague, like what’s happening on that crime drama Amy got him into and how they think Holt & Wuntch’s rivalry might escalate.
It’s so wonderfully normal, after a while - Amy curled up in a motionless massage chair laughing into her tea while Jake lies underneath her blanket on his couch, recounting old crazy stories from his beat cop days amid a few minor coughing fits. They fit together – it fits, her coming around unannounced just because she missed him and she wanted to check if he was okay, like it’s a totally normally thing for a platonic co-worker to do.  
He finishes the story with a grand flourish, grinning as she laughs, his hands collapsing back down to rest on his stomach – but when there’s a lull in their conversation for the first time that night, he just looks at her. It’s warm, and a little intense but not in a way she minds, and in a way she’s half-conscious she’s probably returning. It’s almost happy and sad at the same time, if that’s even a thing, and it takes all the willpower she has not to just completely and utterly melt.
“You’re staring again.” She says, never breaking eye contact for a second. He shrugs.
“So are you.”
It’s almost enough to undo her completely. Almost.
“I should, um, go. You need to get some rest.” She says, biting her lip, eyes quickly darting down to her feet so she doesn’t have to see how his face falls. They stand in tandem, Amy quickly gathering her things.
“Right. Yeah. Can I…”
“You can keep the blanket.” Amy smiles, waves a hand when he tries to protest – “Jake, I’ve got loads, it’s fine. You need it more than I do.” And, just like that, just for the sweet way he looks at her, it’s worth it. Tension and awkwardness, mistake or not - it’s all worth it.
“Thanks, Ames. For everything – for the miracle old lady tea, and the blanket, and just…being you.”
“You’re welcome.”
The ache is only intensified when the door closes and she feels like sliding on to the ground and never moving again. But it dulls by the elevator - and, by the time she gets home, it’s only relief that lingers as she puts her teapot in the correct place in her perfectly neat and organised kitchen, a small smile never leaving her face. It definitely wasn’t a mistake.
Amy doesn’t know what’s in their future. She doesn’t know whether the tension between them will eventually fizzle completely or keep mounting and mounting up until it’s a unbearable weight that makes the air so thick they’ll both choke. Maybe she’ll continue to affirm that it’s just not worth the risk, and maybe, just maybe, some chain of events she has no control over will lead to them giving it a try, if there’s anything to try at all.
The thought of having no control over their future is almost enough to give her an aneurysm – but, behind all the anxiety, behind all the uncertainty and the awkwardness and the bad ideas, there’s a tiny, shining, glimmer of hope.
Whatever ends up happening between them – Amy’s not so worried anymore.
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hisgirlfriday22 · 5 years
Text
Untangle Me
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Chapter Three- Late Night Conversations
........
Monday morning rolled around much quicker than Molly had anticipated and soon she found herself driving to work in an early morning rainstorm. She'd spent the rest of the weekend very much the same way she usually did, which included a little bit of lesson planning, grocery shopping, and a whole lot of Netflix. She'd like to say she didn't check her phone ever so often, but that'd be a lie.She was anticipating a text from the man she'd gotten along so well with on Friday night, but it seemed she wouldn't hear from him the rest of the weekend
Molly arrived at the preschool 30 minutes before her shift, which gave her plenty of time before the children arrived to prep anything she needed for the day and to make sure her classroom was in correct order. It was also the time she spent talking to Hannah and Sophia, but this morning, she decided she would keep to herself. Of course she wouldn't be so lucky. Hannah apparently noticed her absence and decided to come to her.
"Well, I'm sure glad you're not dead. What happened to texting me when you got home?"
Molly's eyes widened as she paused her task of filling the toddlers' sippy cups with milk. She looked up at Hannah, her expression apologetic. "Oh, I forgot! I'm so sorry, I didn't get home until 3:00 or so...I guess I just crashed once I got home."
Hannah raised a brow. "3:00? You were out until 3:00?! Molly Grace!"
"What? I was having a good time..." Molly mumbled as she suddenly found interest in organizing the cups by color.
"Mhmm,I'm sure you were..." Hannah muttered.
"Oh it wasn't like that and you know it. Lachy and I just talked and got to know each other. We took a walk on the beach and completely lost track of time..."
Hannah snorted in a poor attempt to hide her laugh. "I can't believe you spent the afternoon with the Purple Wiggle..."
Molly raised a brow as she turned to place the cups in the fridge. "And what does that matter? If I remember correctly, that's the whole reason we went to the pub in the first place, to see them? Which, by the way, you failed to mention when you begged me to go."
"We didn't think you'd go if we told you.  But really Molly, you needed a night out with your friends. And I'm glad you had fun, but you kinda flaked on us. We didn't see you all night. And when we did you were with that man. We wanted to spend time with you, and you blew us off to hang out with a guy you don't even know...That's not like you."
Molly bit her lip. "At least he paid attention." She mumbled.
"Excuse me?" Hannah's voice was edged with anger.
Molly was tempted to not answer and to just let it go, but she just couldn't. "I said at least he paid attention..." She turned to look at Hannah, who appeared shocked to say the least . "You and Sophie were so busy drinking and talking to each other that you didn't even notice when I left the table. I wasn't having fun, not even remotely until I met Lachy. So please, stop going on about it! If you had wanted to spend time with me so  badly then you would have done it..." Molly couldn't believe she'd just said that. A part of her regretted her words and was about to apologize, but the other part of her knew she was right, and from the look on Hannah's face, she did too.
Hannah started to speak, but she seemed to have thought better of it, deciding instead to turn and walk out of the classroom without another word. Molly knew Hannah was pissed, but she wasn't about to apologize for something she really wasn't sorry for. So instead, she went about her day attempting to push the conversation from her mind which was rather easy to do with eight adorable distractions running amok in her classroom.
As it turned out, the rain continued to pour in Folly Beach, South Carolina, which meant the littles were once again cooped up inside. Thankfully, Molly had quite a few activities at her disposal to keep the toddlers busy. Of course, they got their 30 minutes of Wiggle Time before nap, which Molly found quite awkward to get through, if she was honest.But she kept herself busy with her plan book while the children sang along to their favorite songs.
Before she knew it, all the children had gone home, her classroom was back in order from the whirlwind that is eight toddlers, and she was on her way out the door and heading toward her car, completely ready to go home. Thankfully, she only had a fifteen minute drive from the school to her apartment complex, so she didn't have to wait long.
At around 6:30, Molly stepped through the door of her 4th floor apartment with a tired sigh. She didn't waste any time in locking her door and double checking it before she headed to her room for a change of clothes. After spending the work day in jeans, she was more than ready for the comfort of leggings and her favorite sweatshirt.
The air in South Carolina had grown a bit chilly over the last week with the arrival of autumn, thus her apartment had been cooler than usual. She hesitated to turn the heating unit on, what with how unpredictable southern weather could be, so she stayed warm with her cozy sweatshirts, fuzzy socks, and throw blankets she kept near her couch. Perfect for an evening in binge watching The Office, which is exactly what she'd planned on doing. She had no lesson plans to do, so the young woman didn't feel the least bit guilty crashing on the couch.
As Molly settled on the couch, wrapped in her favorite quilt, she reached for the remote and launched Netflix. Though she'd watched the entire series through on more than one occasion, The Office  has always been a favorite that she'd go back to again and again.It was the kind of silly comedy that was easy to get lost in. She tried to tell herself she wasn't watching it as a distraction, but that would be a lie. She was definitely distracting herself from glancing at her phone over and over, or even sending Lachy a message on Instagram.
"You're being stupid, Molly." She chided herself as she flipped her phone screen down on the coffee table. "You won't hear from him again and you know it. If he'd been the least bit interested in texting you, he'd have done it by now." She had expected this, it didn't mean she was any less disappointed...
Soon enough, Molly was completely immersed in the show, laughing as Jim and Dwight got up to their usual antics. She had forgotten all about her phone and Lachy, at least for the time being. That is, until her phone began to buzz with an incoming call.
Molly quickly reached for her phone, figuring it was her boss or Hannah wanting to talk to her about something work related. However, when she looked at the screen she was surprised to see a number she didn't recognize. Her eyes widened and her heart began to heat a little faster "I wonder...." she murmured as her thumb hovered over the accept button. But it couldn't be, could it? "No, it's probably just a telemarketer." 
Molly let the call go to voicemail, but almost immediately her phone began to ring again. It was the same number. "If that's a telemarketer, he's certainly persistent..." Still yet, Molly let the call go to voicemail once more. If it was Lachy he'd call another time, right? She could have kicked herself for not getting his number when she gave him her's.
"I could call the number back..." She mumbled to herself. What could it hurt? If it was a telemarketer, all she had to do was block the number and forget about it. Or she could leave it alone. But what if it was him?
While Molly was warring with herself, her phone began to buzz, this time signaling the arrival of a text. Molly knew it was ridiculous, but she had never clicked a notification so quickly in her life, especially when she realized the text was from the same exact number that called. She couldn't stop the smile that tugged at her lips as she read the text.
"Hello,is this Molly? This is Lachy from the other night."
Molly grinned as she read the message. So it WAS him. She wondered if she should reply or just call him. Knowing her and her general shyness, she knew a voice conversation could be potentially awkward despite the fact that there hadn't really been a moment of awkwardness between them the other day. It was still surprising to her how comfortable she had felt with him, and a bit scary if she was honest. She hadn't felt that comfortable around a guy since Asher.
"No, I'm not thinking about him." She said firmly, shaking her head as she began to type out a reply to the text.
"Hey, Stranger. :)"
Molly couldn't explain the butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she waited for a reply. She shouldn't be this nervous. It was a few moments before another text came through.
"Oh, good! I thought you'd typed the wrong number in when you weren't answering. And I realize I didn't even think to give you my number or any of my social media handles before you left, which was stupid on my part...Wait..This is Molly, right? You're not messing with me?"
Molly giggled a bit as she read the text. She could almost hear him rambling as she read and reread the words.. For a moment she considered calling him rather than continuing their text conversation, just to hear his voice, but she thought better of it. "You're getting ahead of yourself, Molly. You don't really know this guy..." But she did know him. At least, she felt like she did, however impossible that was after only a few hours of conversation.
"Relax, it's me. How have you been?" She questioned in another text.
A few moments passed with no reply, so Molly decided to step into the kitchen to get something to drink and see what she could make for dinner. Not that she really felt like cooking. Maybe she'd order something instead. Yeah, Chinese sounded good anyway.
Just as she finished placing an online order for delivery from her favorite Chinese place, another text from Lachy came through.
"I'd say busy, but that'd be an understatement. We had three shows yesterday. And I managed to lose my phone somewhere between Folly Beach and Greenville, which is why I didn't text before now. I'm sorry about that."
Molly frowned a bit. Losing a phone was always a hassle, she couldn't even begin to imagine doing so in a different country. She wondered how difficult it had been for him to get another phone. Do they even have the same service carriers in Australia as they did here?
"Oh, that sucks! Did you get a new one?"
Molly knew that was a silly question. Of course he got a new phone, how else was he texting her? She bit her lip somewhat nervously as she turned her attention back to the tv while she waited for a response, though she was no longer interested in the show in the least. It wasn't long before Lachy texted back.
"It was a nightmare, but yes. And I thankfully got all my contacts back. But other than that, it hasn't been too bad. And what about you? How have you been?"
"Oh, I can only imagine. I'm glad you got it sorted." Molly replied. "I've been good. I spent the rest of the weekend lesson planning and watching Netflix, so nothing too interesting."
"Netflix?" Was Lachy's reply, which was quickly followed by another. "Anything interesting?"
Just as Molly was about to type out a response to Lachy, her doorbell rang, signalling the arrival of the Chinese she'd ordered and nearly forgotten about. So, with a small sigh, she set her phone down on the coffee table and went to answer the door. After paying the delivery guy, she shut and locked her door before heading to the kitchen. Realizing that she was anxious to continue her conversation with Lachy, she quickly grabbed a fork and her container of lo mein before hurrying back to her couch.
"I watched the second season of The Crown over the weekend. Before you judge, it was only 10 episodes, so not too many."
"No judgments here." Was Lachy's quick reply, "Sometimes lazy sofa weekends with Netflix and comfy clothes are the best weekends. I look forward to having a few of those myself once we're back home. So, what are some other shows you find binge worthy? I could do to add a few new titles to my watch list."
With her dinner completely forgotten, Molly dove into a conversation with Lachy over their favorite Netflix shows, finding that they shared quite a few favorites, including a mutual love for Friends. The discussion moved to movies and books they enjoyed, and then on to details about their personal lives like where they grew up and how many siblings they had.
Molly learned that Lachy was 33, almost 34 and was born in Brisbane, Australia where he still lived, and that he was the middle of three boys. In light of his love for musical theatre, Lachy had attended Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts where he received a bachelors in musical theatre before he was given a job with the Wiggles. He mentioned briefly that he was divorced, but he didn't go into any detail about that, which Molly was grateful for. She didn't feel they knew each other nearly well enough to go into details of past relationships. And she sure wasn't comfortable enough to share any details about Asher with her new friend.
Likewise, Molly revealed that she'd been born in Northern California, but moved to Folly Beach with her parents at the age of two. She was an only child and she grew up helping her parents run their seaside inn after school and during the summer holidays. She attended college in Nashville, Tennessee, where she received her degree in early childhood before she returned to Folly Beach to work as a toddler teacher in the local preschool. She enjoyed her job, but the 29 year old seemed to feel stuck at times, and she admitted to Lachy that she felt a change would do her some good.
The two continued to text back and forth for hours, though it only felt like minutes to them. In fact. Molly hadn't even realized just how late it had gotten until her phone chimed at midnight to remind her to set her alarm for her usual 5:30 am wake up. She couldn't help but feel disappointed when she realized that she'd have to call it a night if she had any hope of getting a half decent night of sleep. After all, a classroom full of wild toddlers was a challenge on a full eight hours, but on less than six? She knew she'd regret it if she didn't sleep soon.
Reluctantly, Molly moved to her bedroom where she settled in her bed, but she didn't put her phone away. She instead began to type out a text to bring the conversation to an end for the night.
"I can't believe it's so late. Unfortunately I have to work early tomorrow, so I should get some sleep." She texted. It was now going on 12:30, and she still couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so late so fast. "I guess losing track of time is easy when you're having fun." She murmured to herself as a smile tugged at her lips.
Molly was expecting a response in the form of a text, but she was quite surprised when it came in the form of a phone call. This time she didn't hesitate to answer the phone.
"Hello...Lachy?" She questioned, her voice filled with slight confusion. Why was he calling her? She'd just mentioned that she needed sleep, and she was certain he needed it as well.
"Molly? Hey.." Lachy replied. He sounded a bit awkward as he spoke in a hushed tone. Molly would have almost thought he was trying to keep from waking someone up, but she could hear laughter and conversation in the background.
"Hey..." She repeated, still sounding as confused as ever. "Is everything alright? Why are you talking so quietly?"
"Huh? Oh yes, everything's fine. We're on the bus headed to Charlotte and everyone's just having a bit of a laugh.  I just, well, I wanted to tell you goodnight." He admitted. 
"You just wanted to hear her voice, Lach! Don't lie to yourself, mate!"
Molly giggled a bit as she recognized the voice of Anthony calling out in the background. She could almost imagine a blush on Lachy's cheeks as she heard him curse under his breath. "I take it he's a bit tipsy?"
"Who, Anto? Nah, the cheeky bastard hasn't had a drop. He doesn't drink, he just likes to tease people." Lachy replied, chuckling a bit.
"I see," Molly murmured sleepily. "There must never be a dull moment with him."
Lachy chuckled again at her words. "Not for a second." He said, his voice once again hushed. "You sound sleepy, I'm sorry to have kept you up so late." Lachy sounded apologetic, though Molly wasn't sorry in the least.
"No, don't be sorry. It wasn't just you. I was enjoying our conversation and I guess I lost track of time." She admitted. "But I really do need to sleep, 5:30 comes rather early. And besides, isn't it passed your bedtime? I mean, I'm surprised you're still awake now." She teased. After all, Lachy's character was well known for falling asleep often and at the drop of a hat.
There was silence for a second before Molly heard Lachy's laughter carrying over the phone. "Probably so." He mused. "I know with a class of toddlers to take care of, it's most definitely passed your's. We should be arriving at the hotel soon anyway. I'll let you get some sleep now. Can I call you tomorrow?"
Molly felt her cheeks heat up in a blush. She could hear a hint of timidness in his voice when he'd asked to call again and should couldn't help but smile a bit brighter. "Of course you can." She answered as she attempted to hide a yawn. She was certain he'd heard it, though, as she heard him chuckling again. She was sleepier than she thought.
"You really are sleepy, aren't you?"
"Well, I mean, I'm typically asleep before 10:00 on school nights. I know, I know, it's a little ridiculous, but that's the exciting life of a teacher." Molly murmured. If the yawn didn't betray how tired she was, her voice sure did.
"No, I can't blame you really. Well, I won't keep you awake any longer, then. Goodnight, Molly." Lachy's voice was almost in a whisper now, bringing a smile to Molly's lips.
"Goodnight, Lachy." She replied. She hesitated a moment before she ended the call and placed her phone on the nightstand. With a final sleepy sigh, she settled under the covers and closed her eyes, allowing herself to fall asleep yet again with thoughts of Lachy on her mind.
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theworldisourcliche · 6 years
Text
CHAPTER 2 ✘ William
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William looked into the mirror and adjusted the blue paisley tie around his neck.
He hated it. He hated the pattern, he hated how wide it was, and most of all, he hated that he couldn't get it situated right under his collar.
A moment later, he undid the fabric and re-knotted it, pulling it tighter then loosening it again. For some reason, it still didn't feel right, but he was out of time. The clock on the nightstand behind him indicated that it was already a quarter past seven and he'd be late for work if he took any longer. He'd been knotting ties for years and there was no reason he should have such a hard time with it all of a sudden, but no matter how many times he angrily mumbled that to his reflection, he still wasn't happy with the result.
The simple fact was: he hadn't gotten any sleep over the past three nights and his hands just wouldn't do what he wanted them to.
Just thinking about it forced his eyes to refocus, moving away from his shaky, white-knuckled fingers to look at his reflection. The bags under his eyes didn't do anything to disguise the fact that he was lacking sleep. The bed behind him, perfectly made on one side, unkempt and worn on the other only added to the admission that he had spent the previous night awake in his office. Again.
William pushed the thought to the back of his head and pulled himself away from the mirror, making his way out of the room, ducking in said office to grab his briefcase on the way down the hall.
When he entered the kitchen, in all its white porcelain glory, he swept over the counter, picking up his keys and stashing them in his coat pocket, then took an apple and wedged it between his teeth before reaching up to a cabinet to pull down a thermos.
"Don't take all the coffee."
He turned and tried to acknowledge Sophia's presence around the apple. When he couldn't form any kind of greeting, he reached up and removed the apple, taking a bite where his teeth had been dug into it and then talked around the mouthful.
"Since when do you drink coffee?" It came out garbled and unclear.
She barely looked up from her laptop long enough to acknowledge him. "Since I ran out of tea."
She was already put together in a slim fitting dress and heels that would probably make her too tall when she stood. Even though she wouldn't be leaving for at least another hour and a half, she was made for the day. Sitting rim-rod straight, not a hair was out of place. For some reason this struck a nerve inside him. William eyed her briefly before pouring his coffee.
"Won't you kiss me good morning?" she asked.
The way the words rolled off her tongue made him want to stay planted safely on the other side of the room, but he forced his feet to move. The reluctance he'd been feeling toward her as of late was irrational and inexplicable. In some ways. If he searched deeper, he thought he knew where it was rooted. But searching meant admitting and admitting meant he'd have to do something about it and doing something about it would take more effort than he was interested in giving.
As he stooped down to let his lips graze gently against her, she put her hand across his cheek and the diamond rock sitting atop her fourth finger caught the sunlight, sending a smattering of iridescent geometric shapes to dance along the ceiling.
Without warning, the tie he'd almost forgotten about felt like it was two times tighter. As he pulled away, he tugged at it slightly, trying to give himself room to breathe.
"Busy day?" she asked. Her sweet tone softened his heart and he was thankful to feel that familiar fondness he'd been missing creep up. "You look dashing in that shirt. I'm so glad you let me buy it for you."
It was another reminder of how uncalled for his attitude had been lately. On one hand, he couldn't help how he felt and he also couldn't help that he was getting cold feet, but on the other hand, Sophia hadn't done anything to deserve it. As he thought about whether or not his day was actually busy, or if he was just giving off that impression because his mind was so preoccupied, he let himself consider how ridiculous it was to have cold feet anyway. He was engaged, not dying...weren't weddings supposed to be happier than funerals?
After all—Sophia was beautiful. She was successful. She was arguably everything his father had ever wanted for him, an obvious fact considering he'd been the one to introduce them.
Maybe that was where some of the resentment had started. But it shouldn't still be a problem. They'd been together for years. Almost five, actually, which is what had led to the engagement in the first place.  
If his father's approval wasn't the problem, maybe the fact that he'd felt forced into proposing was... He hadn't wanted to get engaged yet. He wasn't even thirty yet. At twenty-seven, he still had three years left to be irresponsible. Three years before he'd officially be an adult with responsibility. Three years to not feel like he had to be home by 10PM. Three years to visit Ireland with Chris like they'd always planned and drink their way from one side of the country to the other. He could go on and on, because every night he'd spent not sleeping, he had instead spent making lists arguing why he shouldn't be settling down before he was thirty.
Each reason sounded more and more like an excuse. Nothing more than a means to get him out of a pretty notably binding legal commitment.
But it was really too late to be making lists. After three years of badgering, Sophia had worn him down.
He'd proposed on their last anniversary, and now, almost six months later, they were moving closer and closer to their wedding date and he could feel all the things he had yet to do relentlessly eating away at him. That was all.
William knew it was all in his head. It was just... ever since he'd asked her to marry him everything seemed different.
Any time he closed his eyes, he found himself dreaming of a blonde who was very much not Sophia.
It might have been the London tap water, finally doing something to his gut the way he'd been warned it might, or perhaps it was more to do with his impending nuptials...the idea of spending forever with one person... Either way, in just half a year's time, he'd gone from happy with a full night's sleep to miserable, cranky, and tired.
He didn't want to leave her innocent question unanswered for much longer, lest she ask what he was thinking about, so he opened his mouth and gave a short "yes" before stepping back and readjusting the briefcase in his hand.
At the same time William took note of the way the leather had finally worn perfectly beneath his fingers, Sophia eyed it and gave him a confused, rather short-tempered look. It had taken years for the leather to get this soft and he was finally happy with the way his paperwork fit inside. When they'd been shopping the other day, and she'd found a new hard-shell briefcase that she insisted on buying for him, he had known there was a problem.  
"I thought you were going to switch to the new bag..." She let the leading question-turned-statement drift into the space between them as she waited for his response. "You can't think that old, scuffed thing is still suitable to carry as someone practicing legitimate law, can you?"
His face didn't give, and she tried another tactic, laying on a sweeter, more syrupy tone as an attempt to quell the insult she'd just delivered.
"Let your famous designer fiancée doll you up—with looks as good as yours, and taste as good as mine, everyone will want you to save them from debt and financial ruin."
The emphasis she put on the word famous was in good fun and for the most part, it did the job, lightening his mood and making him forget for a moment that what she was actually doing was marking her territory.
"I just haven't taken the time," he said, even though it wasn't the truth. He'd had about nine hours the night before which would have been perfect for just the task. Of course, that was beside the point. He had no intention of using the one she'd bought him. Noora had given him the one in his hand when he'd first gotten accepted into law school. There was real sentiment behind it. And besides that, he didn't like the one she'd bought.
He had a feeling Noora was the main reason she wanted him to get rid of it but didn't think the admission of not caring for the alternative, the one she had picked out, would be any better.
"I'll do it when I get home," he added at the last second. He still didn't know if he meant it, but he thought he should at least give it a thought. Was it right to hold onto something from an old girlfriend when you were supposed to be marrying someone else? Did it matter if it was just a briefcase?
Even if the answer was no, he thought it probably mattered if said ex-girlfriend was creeping into your subconscious thoughts late at night...or any time you let your mind drift for longer than a few minutes at a time.
Sophia gave him a forgiving look and pulled him to her for one last kiss before returning to her work and sending him off.
As William closed the door to their building behind him, he let himself take a deep breath of the morning air, the soft fogginess filling his lungs and giving him what felt like a fresh start. It would only last as long as the walk to his office, but at least he was getting out of the apartment today. With Sophia having her studio built into their home, and his home office being right down the hall, getting any work done there sometimes proved hard.
It wasn't that he was intimidated by her success. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Her passion and drive when it came to designing clothes is what had first caught his attention. She worked unlike anyone he'd ever met before—throwing her whole self into everything she did, wasting no time. She always knew exactly what she wanted, and she wasn't afraid to go after it. They were praiseworthy qualities.
She had an interview scheduled with a fashion magazine, and the following week, she was expected to be on her way to a fashion show in Milan. He was happy that all her hard work would be displayed and that she'd be getting some well-deserved credit. He just hoped he could figure out his own issues by the time she returned.
Surely one week was enough time to cleanse his thoughts and refocus. Surely one week was enough time to fall back in love with Sophia.
If he didn't get his shit together soon, he knew he'd never be able to fill the hole growing inside him.
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seventyfiveapples · 6 years
Text
In Transit - Chapter 10
Previous Chapters: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE
Or: The whole enchilada on AO3
Summary: When Officers Jakoby and Ward are hand-picked by the Magic Task Force to transport a dangerous convicted murderer, they must stay a few steps ahead as various enemies, forces of magic, and mistakes from the past complicate their path.
Author Notes: This is it! The last chapter. I hope you liked it! I had fun writing it. Comments are very much appreciated.
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Two weeks after returning home from the prisoner transport assignment, Nick climbed the front steps of Ward’s house carrying two heavy grocery bags. In one, he brought a variety of tomatoes, peppers, and squash, straight from his garden. In the other, he brought cheese, pasta sauce, and noodles to make a big garden lasagne.
Ward had been off work due to his bullet wound for those two weeks. He was anxious to return, but he still had restrictions on how much he could bend or lift. On nights when Sherrie had to work late shifts at the hospital, Nick had offered to come by and make dinner. Tonight was the first time Daryl had taken him up on his offer. Nick didn’t know if his partner needed the help or was just stir-crazy, but either way, he was glad for a chance to spend the evening with friends, outside of his house.
He knocked, and it was only seconds before Ward’s daughter Sophia flung open the door, excited to see him.
“Nick, you’re late! Dad said you were coming at 6:00!” Nick checked his watch - it was 6:04. “I want to show you something!”
“Sure thing, rockstar, just let me set these down and say hi to your dad.”
“Okay.” She sat down on the couch and waited.
“How’s he feeling today?”
“He says he feels good.” She shrugged. “He just took a nap. I’ve been making him take those vitamins every day, like you asked.” Nick chuckled as Ward walked into the room, shaking his head.
“Are you telling everybody my business, Sophia?” he teased, kissing his daughter on the top of her head.
“Just Nick!”
“Well, that’s okay, then, I guess.” He turned to his partner and his face grew more serious. “Hey Nick. How’s it going?”
He knew what Daryl was really asking. He’d filled in his partner about everything that had happened on the rest of the transport assignment - well, most of it - and Daryl had been uncharacteristically gentle with him ever since. He was almost warm.
Nick shrugged and turned back to his groceries, trying to avoid eye contact.
“Oh, you know me, partner. I’m fine. Staying busy.” He looked up at Ward with what he hoped was a convincing smile. “I’m okay.”
“Hey man, I just wanted to say...” Daryl trailed off and shook his head. “Thanks for making dinner. I know Sophia would be happy eating chicken nuggets every night, but - just, thank you.” Nick knew his partner wasn’t a man of deep emotional displays, but he could tell Daryl was trying to communicate something more. Nick appreciated the effort and nodded in response.
“Nick! The groceries are down- can I show you something now?”
“Be right there, Sophia.” He patted Daryl’s non-injured shoulder. He knew human males were somewhat awkward about showing each other affection, and hoped this gesture would be appropriate. “You’re welcome, Ward.”
Sophia grabbed Nick by the hand and led him to the backyard where she pointed out a bushy basil plant in a terracotta pot. It was thriving, at least two feet tall and full of fragrant green leaves..
“See, Nick? Someday I’ll have a big garden like you.” He was impressed and asked her questions while she gave it some water. She pointed out other pots around the yard - she was growing mint in two of them, rosemary in another.
A few minutes later, Nick and Sophia were busy assembling the lasagne while Ward iced his shoulder on the couch. Nick could tell Ward was hurting more than he admitted.
“Nice, even layers, Sophia.” Nick was slicing vegetables while Sophia arranged them and the other ingredients in layers in a baking dish.
“Thank you. Hey Nick? I’m sorry about your friend,” He stopped slicing and looked at her. “My dad told me that you were sad because you had a good friend who moved away.” Daryl never told his daughter about death he saw at work. He said that he would be more honest with her eventually, but for now he didn’t want her to worry. “My best friend last year moved away to Florida and I was sad, too. If you want, I can help you write her a letter.” She said this in a quiet, serious voice.
“That’s um… That’s really nice, Sophia, thank you.” He looked away as his eyes started to water, but she had noticed.
“Does she like stickers? I have really good stickers. We can put a lot of stickers on it.”
He smiled but couldn’t respond for a moment. Sophia gave him a gentle hug and went back to the lasagne.
The rest of the evening went well. The lasagne was a big hit and there were plenty of leftovers for the Wards. After dinner, Daryl, Nick, and Sophia played board games. It felt good to Nick to laugh and joke with the Wards and get out of his head for a few hours.
The happy feeling lasted the whole drive home. It wasn’t until he walked up to his door that the heavy, empty feeling settled over him again. They’d broken up more than a year before he saw her again at the transport assignment, but seeing her again, being with her and then losing her all over again: it all felt too fresh. He meant what he’d told Leigh at the safe house - he had never stopped loving her.
He grabbed his mail from the box on his porch, walked in the door, and tossed the stack onto his kitchen table as he turned on lights.
That was odd.
Something in his mail made a rattling noise when it hit the table. He rifled through the stack and picked out a bubble-envelope with his address hand-written and no return envelope.
Inside, there were only three items: a packet of Brandywine tomato seeds, a packet of Gold Medal tomato seeds, and a business card for Agent Kandomere’s office at the Los Angeles branch of the MTF.
--
The next morning, Agent Kandomere was standing by his office window, still drinking his coffee and trying to plan out his day. It was earlier than any of the other agents arrived, but outside in the hall, he heard some kind of commotion.
“Agent Kandomere?” paged a voice - his assistant - over the telephone’s intercom. He pressed a button to respond.
“Yes?”
“You… have a visitor. He’s insisting on seeing you now. I’m sorry, sir. What should I say?”
Kandomere expected this visit. He sank into his chair and pressed the button again.
“Go ahead and let him in.”
He only had to wait a few seconds before Officer Nick Jakoby burst in, his face a mix of emotions.
“Where is she?”
--
Leigh - or Kelly, as she’d be known from here on - was settling into her new life. She felt like “settling” was a good way to describe it, honestly. Her life was just smaller now. Under MTF orders, she couldn’t contact anyone she knew before, but who were they worried about? Her family had disowned her, the public thought she was serving a life sentence, and the Inferni thought she was dead.  There was only one person she missed, and he, too, thought she was dead. She couldn’t exactly call him up to chat, even if the MTF hadn’t banned her from that. He’d never forgive her.
According to the MTF agents, in a few months they would move her from this suburb to a permanent home in a different city and pay for any job training of her choice. She’d have a new name, a new career: a fresh start. It wasn’t a terrible offer, all things considered. In the meantime, she was managing a coffee shop and living in a modest apartment.
She was safe, but she was bored.
She also found herself with quite a bit of time on her hands. Her apartment had an abandoned community garden and it reminded her of Nick every time she walked past it. It was too sad in its neglected state: she decided to bring it back to life.
Nick... She missed him terribly. She also felt incredibly guilty about letting him believe she was dead. The plan was so last minute, hatched between Leigh and Kandomere moments before they faced Chad and the others. Leigh knew at least it would keep him safe, but she regretted it now.
Kandomere had promised that he would tell Nick the truth if he asked, and Leigh/Kelly had promised that she wouldn’t contact him. Hey, she’d waited almost a week and a half before mailing him those seed packets. She did hope that the agent was better about his promise than she had with hers.
She turned her attention back to the rocky, dry patch of earth she hoped to make into a garden. Earlier that day, she’d made quite a haul of gardening supplies from a local gardening supply shop. She kneeled down in the dirt, started unpacking her tools and seeds, and took a deep breath.
She was going to plant some tomatoes.
--
Nick only stopped to call into work - the first time he’d ever taken leave - before hitting the road, driving straight from the MTF office to a city about 45 miles away. Now he stood, heart in his throat, knocking on the door of Leigh’s new apartment.
No answer.
He knocked again and waited. Same result. Nick reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper with a few different addresses on it. One for a coffee shop - maybe she was at work? Should he just show up there, or wait here? Did one of these options cross the line from “sweeping romantic gesture” to “creepy”?
He slowly walked back to his car, trying to decide what to do next. For a moment, dread crept in as he realized: once he knew she was alive, he had found her in twelve hours. Had the Inferni gotten here first?
Just as fear started to send him spiraling, some movement at the corner of his eye stopped him. He spun around to see -  Jirak H. Orc it was really her - Leigh. She was in an empty area next to the apartment complex, crouching in the dirt, listening to music and stabbing a small patch of dirt with a hoe, vigorously but aimlessly.
He ran over to her and stopped about ten feet away. She still didn’t see him. He walked closer, around the crudely mangled dirt patch, until he was standing right next to her. He didn’t know how to start so he kept looking at her, not quite believing that she was alive, here in front of him.
She looked different, he noticed. She’d probably altered her appearance with magic. Her hair was now short and dark brown. Her nose, her cheekbones, her jawline were slightly different as well but the way her body moved, her scent, her eyes: he would know her anywhere.
She paused her assault of the dirt patch and sank back onto her knees, catching her breath. She reached behind her for her water bottle but found nothing. Confused, she started to stand up to look for it better. When she saw Nick’s familiar figure behind her, holding out her water bottle, she nearly fell right back down.
“Nick! Oh my gods, is that really you?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing.” He looked as stunned as she felt.
She was about to throw her arms around him and kiss him, when she hesitated.
“I’m so sorry, Nick. I wanted to tell you, but Kandomere made me promise not to… You got the tomato seeds?”
He chuckled. “They were in my mail yesterday. It was nearly 10:00 when I got home and found them. I went straight to the MTF office this morning. He didn’t take much convincing, surprisingly.”
“I made him promise to,” she said, her face serious. “Are… you upset? Angry? I know it was shitty but it really was the only way-”
Nick closed the distance between them with one step and pulled her into a kiss, interrupting her. She wrapped her arms around his familiar, broad shoulders and kissed him back. After a few minutes, he pulled back and looked at her straight in the eyes.
“No,” he told her. “I’m not angry. Not upset”
“Oh.” She smiled. “Good.”.
He wiggled his eyebrow ridges a few times and scooped her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing. This drew a surprised laugh from Leigh.
“Which one of these apartments is yours again?” he asked. She grabbed her keys and pointed the way. She patted his chest as he carried her to her door and felt an unexpected rattle from his breast pocket. She peeked in and pulled out - the packet of Gold Medal tomatoes she’d sent him.
---
Six months later, things between the two of them were stronger than ever, and “Kelly” had moved into Nick’s house. It had taken a bit of work, convincing the MTF to let her return to L.A., but apparently she had been quite persuasive. No one was looking for her now, which helped. She’d also apparently talked herself into a job doing consulting for the MTF, which, she reminded them, would make it a lot easier to keep tabs on her.  
Today was a Saturday and the two were sitting down to lunch. Nick was cooking while Leigh read a book. She was so engrossed that she was shocked when she looked at the time and realized Nick had been in the kitchen close to an hour.
“Nick, honey? What are you doing in there?”
“You’ll see…” A short time later he emerged, practically beaming as he presented her with a plate of food. There were tomato halves, with the seeds scooped and the insides stuffed with diced vegetables and herbs. They were served against a bed of cottage cheese, fresh spinach, and blueberries. She wasn’t sure how this meal took an hour to prepare, but he looked so pleased she couldn’t help smiling back.
“Enjoy,” he told her, smiling. He seemed to be waiting for something.
“Are you going to eat, too?”
“Oh! Right.” He popped back into the kitchen and came back with his own similar dish. He sat down to eat but still seemed to be waiting for her.
“Are… you going to watch me eat?” She asked sardonically, lifting a stuffed tomato to her mouth
“These are from the seed packet you mailed me, by the way. These seeds led me back to y- Careful! Cut it first.”
She was startled. He never raised his voice. What was he up to? She lifted her knife and cut the tomato in half. Nick’s brow furrowed.
“Cut the other one.”
“Nick, what on earth - oh!” Her knife struck something hard inside the second tomato and she fished it out with her fork: a silver ring etched with an intricate orcish pattern. Inscribed around the inside were some Bodzvokhan letters. “Nick!”
Meanwhile, he’d moved from his seat at the table, and was now down on one knee in front of her.
“Leigh, Kelly, no matter what your name is, it’s the most beautiful word I know how to say. I think we’ve been through about everything two people can in the past two and a half years, and I only find myself falling more and more in love with you, every day. I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather spend my life with. Leigh Caldwell, will you-”
“YES!” She yelled, tackling him and sending him falling backwards on the floor. She held her face as she covered him with kisses.
“-marry me?”
“Still yes!”
He laughed as she continued kissing him all over his face. All of a sudden she stopped.
“So wait, it took you an hour to hide that ring in a tomato?”
“No… It took a few minutes to cut everything up, a little more to arrange everything on the plate, and then about forty-five minutes to take apart the garbage disposal so that I could find the ring after I dropped it.”
Oh, sweetie. You are a strange, sweet man.”
“Hey, you’re marrying me.”
She laughed and kissed him again. “What does it say here, in Bodzvokhan?”
“It says ‘Yours, always,” He looked up at her with a shy expression. “It was the ring my grandfather gave to my grandmother.”
“It’s beautiful, Nick.” She helped him off the floor and they stood looking at each other for a moment, smiling. The proposal - tender, heartfelt, beautiful, and clumsy - it was perfectly Nick. She loved him so much and she knew this was only one of a lifetime of surprises. 
A life together with Nick Jakoby: the future looked happy and bright.
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patriotsnet · 3 years
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How Many Registered Republicans In Pa
New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-registered-republicans-in-pa/
How Many Registered Republicans In Pa
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The Numbers Bear Out The Dominance Of The Democrats
Republicans Gain Statewide And Locally In Voter Registration
According to gallup.com about 42% of voters claim to be independents. Nationally, the democratic advantage in the party registration states approaches 12 million. Many other republicans, as noted, lean in either the conservative or highly religious direction. Overall, targetsmart found that 42.6 percent of the new voters registered this year lean democratic, and only 29 percent lean republican . There are about twice as many registered democrats living in passaic county than republicans. The counties with the 10 highest percentages of democratic party, republican party, and no party preference registered voters are: the percentage of voters registered with the republican party decreased from 27.1% to 24.0%. 4,600 fewer republicans after the riot. In the week from jan. Currently, republicans have 51 seats, and democrats have 47 with two races still undecided. The biggest spikes in republicans leaving the party came in the days after jan. Their partisan affiliation was roughly split between three groups: Gallup.com says 31% of voters are democrats.
How The Gop Could Win Pennsylvania
Hello, party leaders, potential candidates, lifelong donors, and long-suffering base voters. Its me, the guy who constantly asks about Pennsylvania. The guy who drives people to muting me on Twitter because I wont stop talking about Pennsylvania. Who is already showing flashcards of Collar Counties to his seven-week-old son.
Recently, I received an email from a follower of the Decision Desk, the gist of which was asking me, yes or no, do I really believe the Keystone State is winnable.
Well, heres my answer: Yes.
Yes, this state, which hasnt gone for a Republican president since H.W. Bush in 1988, is absolutely winnable. But not for the reasons often cited . In fact, the thing has driven me along in my obsessive quest for the great beast east of Ohio is an article Nate Cohn, now with The New York Times, but then with The New Republic, wrote on the eve of the 2012 election: Romney has a problem in Pennsylvania: Math. This passage, in particular, has stuck with me for three years:
Its easy to understand why Romney would invest in Pennsylvania.;Like Missouri or North Carolina for Democrats, Pennsylvania is what I call a spreadsheet state. When you start plugging in favorable numbers for the traditionally disadvantaged party, its too easy to get up to 48 percent of the vote, or even more. But those final hundred thousand votes are incredibly difficult and require something extraordinary.
Illinois: Error Registered A Possible 545 Noncitizen Voters
CHICAGO An error in Illinois new automatic voter registration system led to a possible 545 non-U.S. citizens being registered to vote, 15 of whom cast ballots, state officials publicly acknowledged this week.
Illinois Secretary of State Jesse Whites office, which oversees drivers licenses, said the data of 574 people who self-identified as non-citizens was erroneously forwarded to elections officials to be registered to vote. Election officials confirmed Tuesday that 545 of them were ultimately registered.
It was a computer error, White spokesman Dave Druker said Tuesday. We moved to correct it and contacted people involved.
As Illinois Republicans called for an immediate hearing over a serious breach of voter protections, election officials worked to determine how many of the registrations were indeed invalid. Over 150 registrations had been canceled, said State Board of Elections spokesman Matt Dietrich.
Dietrich said it was possible some people indicated that they werent citizens by mistake. When Illinois residents get standard drivers licenses, they have to confirm they meet the criteria to vote, certifying they are 18 and a U.S. citizen. Only those who meet the criteria are supposed to be sent to election officials for registration.
The 15 people cast 19 ballots in elections in 2018 and 2019.
It was not immediately unclear what would happen to the individuals.
Follow Sophia Tareen on Twitter: https://twitter.com/sophiatareen.
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The Secret Is Unregistered Voters
So is there a path to winning the Keystone? As I said before, yes. The secret lies not with the current number of registered voters, where Democrats dwarf Republicans by a cool million, but in the number of citizens of voting age not registered. Finding them and goading them into registering wont be easy, but they arent a rare breed: per current registration figures provided by the Department of State, and the Census estimate of current voting-age population, there are more than 1.6 million such untapped voters residing here. Heck, some of them may have already registered once before, but it lapsed.
Attesting to the sheer power of that Democratic voter drive that started a decade ago, only 14 percent of them reside in Philadelphia or Allegheny County. A clear majority, 62 percent to 38 percent, of this untapped mass resides in counties that went to Romney. I broke down the numbers and converted it into a simple diagram, where the counties have been re-sized according to how big a share of the untapped vote they account for:
As A Successful Republican New Mexico Governor 2016 Libertarian Party Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson Pronounced That He Had Slashed Taxes More Than A Dozen Times Balanced The There Are Many On The Left Who Support The Libertarian Partys Proposals To Legalize The Liberal Use Of Marijuana
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39.66 percent of voters are registered with that party. The most recent poll at the time of writing gives a d+11 advantage. Even if youd rather not commit to any particular party, you may find yourself wishing to support a specific democrat candidate when primaries come around. Once you know which party you belong to, it will be easier to decide which candidates to vote for during elections. This quiz will ask you questions about your political beliefs. However, registered republicans outnumber democrats in six of the states 21 counties, and there several other counties that are pretty evenly split. Over 60% of black voters are registered democrats compared to just 3% that are registered in surveys, more than half of seattle voters identified as democrat or leaning democratic. The answer may surprise you. Are you a democrat or a republican? Are there more democrats or republicans who top that list? The election of 2010 gave republicans the majority beginning in january, 2011. These are broadly generalized opinions; There are still way more registered democrats;
The election of 2010 gave republicans the majority beginning in january, 2011. Hello and thank you for registering. It was a more natural association. related: Are there more democrats or republicans who top that list? The republican party has waxed and waned in popularity and membership over the years, never quite having as many registered partisans as the democrats.
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Republicans Had Been Making Voter Registration Gains On Democrats In Pennsylvania For Years Stats Show 2020 May Have Changed That
PENNSYLVANIA Fraught with turmoil, judicial anxieties, violence, and uncertainties which shook democracy to its core, the 2020 election season in Pennsylvania was unlike any other in history.
And the fallout from the events of the past few months is only just beginning to unfold, with repercussions likely to be felt for years to come.
While it’s too early to tell exactly what will happen to the Republican Party after President Donald Trump’s loss, a glimpse at shifting voter registration patterns provides a glimpse at how the electorate is responding to recent events.
Democrats Have Been Getting Out There
Committed partisans are the most reliable participants in elections, and often vote more than 90 percent of the time with their stated party. Independents, on the other hand, are mostly lying , and when truly independent, are incredibly unreliable as a bloc from cycle to cycle. If they are the true pox on both houses types, and that terribly undecided, they may not even bother to vote. To win a major election, greater emphasis must be placed on finding, registering, contacting, and turning out new voters.
This is exactly what Democrats did throughout the country after 2004, and they certainly gave Pennsylvania a good one-over. From 2000 to 2014, Democratic and third-party efforts tipped the scales of registration even further to the Left, expanding the blue teams edge over Republicans by almost 650,000 voters. President Obama received more votes in 2012 than Sen. John Kerry did eight years prior, even with a drop-off from his 2008 high, a testament to his teams incredible turnout operation.
Despite that sizable shift, the actual impact on elections from 2000 to 2012 was miniscule: the presidents margin in the Keystone in 2012 was only about 105,000 votes wider than Gores had been. How does his performance over Gores stack up with other states he carried?
In Virginia, the margin swung by over 379,000 from 2000. In Colorado, 283,000. Wisconsin, 218,000. Iowa, 88,000. Nevada, 89,000.
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It’s Always Blue In Philadelphia And It’s Getting Bluer
There’s been a saying for decades that you can’t win Pennsylvania without winning the Philadelphia suburbs. Trump proved that untrue, at least for one year, when he won in 2016 without winning Philadelphia and its suburbs.
But the old adage became;true again in 2018, when a five-county region in southeastern Pennsylvania sent a record number of women to U.S. Congress and state offices.;
In 2019, history was made again. Democrats were elected to all five seats on the Delaware County Council, which had been held by a majority of Republicans since the Civil War. That same year, Democrats won the Board of Commissioners in Bucks County for the first time since 1983.;
This year could yield a record Democratic turnout in Philadelphia, Montgomery, Bucks, Chester and Delaware counties. As of Monday, the five-county region had added 75,574 more registered Democrats than in 2016. The biggest increase was an addition of 20,214 Democrats in Montgomery County since the last presidential election.;
In the same time period, the region has shed 31,384 Republicans from its voting rolls. The biggest loss was in Delaware County, where there are 16,981 fewer Republicans than in 2016.;
Past Jumps In Party Affiliations
Republicans In Pennsylvania Changing Party Registration Following Deadly Insurrection At US Capitol
The bump in Democratic affiliation following Bidens inauguration mirrors that of former President Barack Obamas first term, Jones said.
That was really the high point that weve seen; kind of the 2006-2009 period, when really the majority of Americans either identified as Democrats outright or were independents but they leaned toward the party, he said.;Our data on this only goes back to the 90s, but its pretty much the only time we consistently had one party with the majority of Americans on their side.
Republican advantages, though rarer and more short-lived, followed the Gulf War in 1991 when George H.W. Bush was in office and the 9/11 terrorist attacks during President George W. Bushs term, according to Gallup. More people also reported GOP affiliation after the 1994, 2010 and 2014 midterm elections.
Whether the Republican Party can regain advantage during the 2022 midterm elections may rely on the successes of the Biden administration, according to Jones.
A lot of it is going to depend on how things go over the course of the year. If things get better with the coronavirus and the economy bounces back and a lot of people expect Biden can keep relatively strong approval ratings, then that will be better for the Democrats, Jones said.;But if things start to get worse unemployment goes up or coronavirus gets worse; then his approval is going to go down. Its going to make things a lot better for the Republican Party for the midterm next year.
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Are You Surrounded By Democrats Or Republicans How Jersey Breaks Red And Blue In All 21 Counties
Here is a county-by-county breakdown of which political party rules in each of New Jerseys 21 counties and how much each party gained since this time last year.
New Jersey is a Democratic-leaning state, and its getting bluer by the month.
Democrats have registered voters at a faster pace than Republicans in the Garden State. But the GOP still maintains pockets of control in some counties.
Republicans are outnumbered by registered Democrats by nearly 1 million people , according to the latest statistics from the states Division of Elections. As of the end of September, New Jersey had 2,307,937 registered Democrats and 1,331,102 Republicans.
Over the past year, Democrats added more than double the number of registered voters compared to the GOP , according to the data.
However, registered Republicans outnumber Democrats in six of the states 21 counties, and there are a few other counties that are pretty evenly split. Also, Republicans out registered the number of new Democrats in six counties from this time last year, including in three counties where the number of Ds outweigh the Rs.
The largest number of New Jersey voters 2,378,040 to be exact have not formally claimed any party affiliation.
Twelve years ago, Democrats had a 290,000 vote plurality over registered Republicans statewide, said Ben Dworkin, director of Rowan Universitys Institute for Public Policy and Citizenship.
There Are 644835 Inactive Voters In Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania could rock;the vote a little harder.
There are 644,835 inactive voters in the state, including 418,777 inactive Democrats and 226,058 inactive Republicans, according to voter registration records.
The state defines an inactive voter as someone who has not voted in five years or has moved and not registered to vote in their new Pennsylvania county.
Think of a Penn State football game. Imagine a sellout crowd at Beaver Stadium. Multiply it by 6. Add 5,403 more people. That’s how many registered voters in Pennsylvania;are not actually voting.;
That includes 80,862 voters in southcentral Pennsylvania throughout Adams, Cumberland, Dauphin, Franklin, Lancaster, Lebanon and York Counties.;
A closer look:;
Lancaster County: 20,040 inactive voters
Cumberland County: 18,662 inactive voters
York County: 16,926 inactive voters
Dauphin County: 12,508 inactive voters
Franklin County: 5,282 inactive voters
Adams County: 3,943 inactive voters
Lebanon County: 3,501 inactive voters
While those numbers pale in comparison to the more than 6.6 million active voters in Pennsylvania, every vote matters; especially in a battleground state. The 644,835 inactive voters here could easily decide the election.;
Remember, in 2016, it was 44,000 votes that decided the winner.;
The USA Today Network is working to register every voter, make it easy for voters to check their registration and find their polling place. You can find all of that here.;
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We Dont Know How Many Mail Ballots Wont Count
Under state law, counties can only accept mail ballots that arrive by 8 p.m. on Election Day. But last fall, anticipating unprecedented voting by mail and U.S. Postal Service delays, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled officials could count ballots that arrived up to three days after the election.
That grace period is gone, and ballots had to arrive at county election offices by 8 p.m. Tuesday to count. Its too soon to say how many ballots will come in after that deadline, but in last years general election about 10,000 ballots arrived during that three-day period.
Most Counties Finished Counting Mail Ballots Tuesday Night
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The states universal mail voting law gave Pennsylvanians a new way to cast a ballot in 2020, but it also put increased pressure on county election offices. Local officials repeatedly pleaded with lawmakers to pass a bill giving them time before Election Day to begin processing, or pre-canvassing, these ballots.
But in the end, no such change was made, and it took some counties days to get through millions of ballots, giving former President Donald Trump a window to falsely claim the election was stolen from him.
County election departments once again couldnt start processing mail ballots until 7 a.m. Tuesday, but many were able to count most or all of their mail ballots by the time polls closed, thanks to low turnout.
Some counties, including Beaver and Monroe, chose not to begin counting mail ballots until Wednesday, with election officials saying they wanted their staff to focus on running the in-person election.
Mercer County Election Director Thad Hall said his staff will count the countys approximately 4,000 ballots Wednesday and conduct an audit by hand with the two major political parties on Friday.
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Poring Over Party Registration
This is not the best of times for the Democratic Party. No White House; no Senate; no House of Representatives; and a clear minority of governorships and state legislatures in their possession. Yet the Democrats approach this falls midterm elections with an advantage in one key aspect of the political process their strength in states where voters register by party.
Altogether, there are 31 states with party registration; in the others, such as Virginia, voters register without reference to party. Among the party registration states are some of the nations most populous: California, New York, Florida, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Arizona, and Massachusetts.
The basic facts: In 19 states and the District, there are more registered Democrats than Republicans. In 12 states, there are more registered Republicans than Democrats. In aggregate, 40% of all voters in party registration states are Democrats, 29% are Republicans, and 28% are independents. Nationally, the Democratic advantage in the party registration states approaches 12 million.
Still, Republican Donald Trump found a route to victory in 2016 that went through the party registration states. He scored a near sweep of those where there were more Republicans than Democrats, winning 11 of the 12, while also taking six of the 19 states where there were more Democrats than Republicans a group that included the pivotal battleground states of Florida, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania.
At Least 60 Afghans And 13 Us Service Members Killed By Suicide Bombers And Gunmen Outside Kabul Airport: Us Officials
Two suicide bombers and gunmen attacked crowds of Afghans flocking to Kabuls airport Thursday, transforming a scene of desperation into one of horror in the waning days of an airlift for those fleeing the Taliban takeover. At least 60 Afghans and 13 U.S. troops were killed, Afghan and U.S. officials said.
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shimmershaewrites · 6 years
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Waltzing's for Dreamers, Chapter 16. (a Walking Dead story, Caryl AU).
Title:  Waltzing’s for Dreamers
Rating:  PG?  PG-13 maybe?
Warnings:  some adult language.  Innuendo. 
Characters/Pairings:  Daryl Dixon/Carol Peletier, Sophia Peletier, Dale Horvath, Arat, Jessie Anderson, Sam Anderson, mention of Ron Anderson, Lori Grimes, Carl Grimes, Siddiq, mentions of Michonne, Merle Dixon, Dr. S.   
  Waltzing’s for Dreamers
      More than a year after Vegas.  Early September.
      The call comes in while Daryl’s at work. 
  He’s elbow deep in the engine of an old clunker better suited for the junk yard.  Has been for the better part of the afternoon and the woman that brought the car in keeps sneaking fretful peeks at him around its hood.  Giving a play by play to her husband over the phone even though it’s painfully obvious she don’t know what the shit he’s doing.  Looks like she’s got other things on her mind, like keeping the squirming toddler on her hip from making a break for it.  And for once?  He’s grateful for Arat’s obnoxious taste in music because it’s full on blaring.  The bass tugging at his gut and making his tools rattle whenever he sets one down.  It gives him the out he’s looking for when she bites her lip and offers the phone to him.  He shakes his head, makes a show of not being able to hear a damn thing and it ain’t no lie.  Really ain’t.  Still.  He can’t suppress the twinge of guilt when she tucks the phone back between her shoulder and her ear with a wince, bounces the whining kid in her arms and turns her back to him.  Walks away. 
  “Looks like we got another penny pincher on our hands.” 
  “Grade A asshole,” Daryl agrees, wiping his hands on the red rag sticking out of the front pocket of his navy coveralls.  “Turn that shit down.” 
  Arat smirks.  “Sounds like somebody needs to loosen up your buttons, Dixon.  Pretty little wife not doing it for you?  Could always invite me over.  Three’s not such a crowd anymore.” 
  His neck goes hot at the suggestion and a growl rumbles deep in his chest.  “How many times…” 
  “You know I’d make it good for you both.” 
  “Fuck off.”  She cackles as she retreats to the back of the garage, singing along when the tune changes on cue to one Daryl figures should be her anthem.  His brother’s, too.  Although Merle sticks to chasing skirts.  On more than one occasion, Arat’s proven she ain’t as discriminating.  Backed up all that bold talk with the people she brings around.  “Old Man ain’t fundin’ your sexual harassment.” 
  “Just having a little fun.” 
  “Well, I ain’t,” Daryl mutters.  “So get on back to work.” 
  “Um.  Excuse me?” 
  It’s the frazzled mother again, this time minus the kid.  A quick glance toward the office shows him the old man hamming it up with the moon-eyed toddler and the corner of Daryl’s mouth lifts when he sees a smile break out on the shy little boy’s face.  “Ma’am?” 
  Wringing her hands, the woman sighs.  
  She chews on her words so long Daryl takes pity on her.  “Lemme guess.  No lifesaving measures.” 
  “What’s the cheapest quick fix?  I need to pick my other son up from school soon.” 
  Scratching absently at the back of his head, Daryl lays out the truth for her.  “Be no better than plugging a leak on the Hoover dam with a wad of bubblegum.” 
  “Pete won’t agree to anything else.” 
  “Alright.  Okay.  I’ll get you hooked up.  I’ll…shit.  Snuck up on me, Old Man,” he grumbles.  “What’s the matter?  Look like you seen a ghost or something.”  
  The woman steps between them, holds out her arms for her son.  “Sam, come here.  Come to Mommy.”   
  Soon as that boy’s in her arms, Daryl steps closer to Dale even though Arat has killed the volume on the radio and is currently walking toward them, shepherding the woman and her child outside to give them some privacy and it’s a good thing.  Because Daryl don’t like the look on his boss’s pale face.  He don’t like the way his bushy brows are bunched in worry. 
  “Sophia’s school called.  They couldn’t reach Carol.” 
  “Got that test today.  Been studying for it for weeks.  Dale?  What’d they say?” 
  “That’s just it.  They wouldn’t tell me anything.  Other than she was in an accident and she’s been taken to the hospital.” 
  “Fuck.  Fuck.  I need to…” 
  “Go,” Dale cuts him off.  “Just don’t get yourself killed trying to get to her.” 
  Daryl tries to mind the old man’s instruction as he races toward the hospital, but he breaks at least ten different traffic laws before he skids to a crooked stop in the parking lot.  Forgets to even lock the truck’s door before he sprints to the ER entrance and rushes inside.  Nearly collides with a pair of EMTs on their way back out.  He only realizes his hands are shaking when he grabs the arm of the first person he sees wearing scrubs.  “I’m looking for my little girl.  Her school called and…”  About that time, he catches a glimpse of a familiar figure in front of a row of vending machines, lets go of the puzzled hospital employee and calls out to her.  “Lori!” 
  Lori whirls around.  Tucks her phone and a couple packets of candy back in her purse and meets him halfway, her brown eyes bright but calm. 
  “What the hell happened?” Daryl demands to know, not even giving her a chance to say anything.  “Where is she?  What the fuck are you…” 
  “Even doing here when I’m still responsible for a class full of six-year-olds?” Lori finishes for him when he runs out of steam.  “Walk with me.  I can explain.” 
  By the time they reach Sophia’s cubicle, he’s heard the whole ugly story and he’s calmer, yeah.  At least marginally but he also has this passing urge to whip some first grade ass, his own history notwithstanding.  “Something needs to be done ‘bout that kid.  Little terror’s been bullyin’ ‘Phia long as I’ve known her.  This so-called playground scuffle ain’t his first go-round.”  
  “Trust me,” Lori sighs.  “I’m aware.”  Combing her hair back behind her ears, she reaches for the privacy curtain but waits for his cue before pulling it back. 
  Daryl nods and suddenly there she is.  Looking so damn tiny and defenseless in that huge stretcher he feels his knees go weak. 
  Her freckles stand out in stark relief against the paleness of her skin, the small butterfly bandages that follow the line of her strawberry brow and disappear into her hairline.  Blood and dirt smudge the front of her favorite rainbow shirt and a neon green cast extends from her short fingers all the way above her right elbow. 
  He’s so busy silently cataloguing her hurts that he doesn’t notice he’s been spotted until the young man in a lab coat recaps the black Sharpie in his hand and relinquishes it to Sophia with a smile. 
  “Looks like Dad’s here just in time.” 
  “He’s not her…” 
  Lori’s quick to shush her boy.  Taking him by his skinny shoulders and pulling him to her.  “Carl.” 
  Daryl’s grateful because he can’t find his fuckin’ voice to do it himself.  He’s on autopilot, being pulled in by the magic of Sophia’s shy smile.  He feels his heart squeeze with overwhelming affection when her pink tongue pokes through the gap left by her missing baby teeth and his calloused hand reaches out to cover her foot.  “Had me worried, Ladybug.  Nearly gave me a heart attack.” 
  “M’sorry.” 
  “Wasn’t your fault,” Carl’s quick to interject.  “Was Ron’s.  He’s a big mean bu–”
  The little shithead scowls when his mama’s hand closes over his mouth just in time, looks mighty fierce with that impressive shiner blacking his eye and Daryl smirks when Sophia giggles.  Nods at the young doctor when he likewise smiles.  “Thanks.  For takin’ care of her.  Know her mama’d appreciate it.  Know I damn well do.” 
  Lori echoes the sentiment.  “Thanks, Siddiq.”    
  “I just helped put on the cast.  Sophia did all the hard, brave work.” 
  “Still,” Daryl insists.  “Thank you, Man.” 
  “You’re welcome.  If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go see if I can round up Dr. S so he can get your discharge paperwork started.” 
  “Carl and I should get going, too.  Now that Daryl’s here.”  Leaning over the stretcher’s rail, she places a careful kiss atop Sophia’s hair.  Reaches out and briefly touches Daryl’s forearm before digging through her purse and offering up a package of M&M’s for later.  “You did good, sweet girl.  I’ll see you back in class Monday, okay?  I’ll bring more markers so everybody can sign your cast.” 
  “Okay,” she murmurs in response. 
  “Your mama will be here soon.  Michonne’s going to go get her soon as her test is over and bring her here so she doesn’t have to drive.”
  “So she won’t worry?” 
  “So she won’t worry as much,” Lori gently corrects.  “Bye, Sweetie.  Why don’t you close your eyes and rest?  I know you’re tired.”    
   “I’m here,” Daryl reminds her.  “Ain’t goin’ nowhere.”  
  “Promise?” 
  “With pinkies and everything,” he says gruffly. 
  “Pinkies and everything?” 
  “Yep.  Now close them pretty eyes.  I’ll still be here when they open back up and your little friend Carl?  Well, he’ll finally be gone.” That comment earns him a giggle.  From Sophia, then Lori, and eventually the boy himself, who just shrugs when he offers up a halfhearted apology.  Then they’re gone and it’s just him and ‘Phia and he thinks she’s drifted off until she mumbles his name. 
  “Daryl?” 
  “Hmm, Ladybug?” 
   “Dr. Siddiq called you my dad.” 
  “I heard.”   
  “I don’t want to call you that.” 
  “Don’t have to call me anything you don’t wanna.  Daryl’s just fine.” 
  She falls quiet again, her breath evens and slows and then.  “What ‘bout Daddy?  S’that okay?” 
  It takes him a minute.  Damn lump makes it hard to swallow, much less speak.  But eventually he husks a response, “Even better.” 
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[Recap] AMC’s THE TERROR Episode 4: “Punished, as a Boy”
I can sympathize with the stranded men aboard the H.M.S. Terror and H.M.S. Erebus. In high school, my team and I were playing in a national basketball tournament in Chattanooga, Tennessee. We, being a pretty decent squad, were in the semifinals of the tournament set to play a team from Kentucky for the opportunity to compete for the national championship. We were confident as we warmed up for the game, having not encountered much opposition so far in the tournament, when the other team entered the stadium. These guys were wearing pants and long-sleeved shirts for their uniforms. What kind of tools were we about to play? Our coach mentioned that they were from a Mennonite village and believed that their young men should be covered when they compete in sports. Ok, so we are about to play a bunch of scrawny farm kids wearing swishy-pants and long-john tops. No problem. The only question I had was whether I would drop 40 on them, or if I would take it easy and only give them 30. We finished warming up and walked to the bench, already mentally preparing for our championship game match-up.
Then the game started. What followed was 32 minutes of complete and total annihilation at the hands of those young Mennonite men. It was a bloodbath. We were completely and utterly destroyed by the Breakaway-Pants-Brigade, ending our season and the basketball careers of several of my friends.
The men and officers in this week’s episode looked a lot like we did after the first quarter of that game. The shocked look of desperation when you begin to realize that you are completely and totally outmatched. That the adversary you thought you were facing is different from what you thought it was. In “Punished, as a Boy”, Captain Crozier and his crew finally come to the understanding that they are not dealing with a bear anymore. They are dealing with something different, and much, much worse.
    The episode begins back in London as Lady Jane and her niece Sophia beg the Admiralty to send a rescue team to find the two missing ships. Lady Jane knows her husband and knows his limitations and his strengths. She knows that he would never neglect to send word if everything is just fine on the mission. They are brushed off by the stodgy officers, who assure the women that if no word is heard from Sir John by 1850, they will then send a rescue mission. Unfortunately for the men stranded in the Arctic, it is only November of 1847. Leaving the office, Lady Jane tells her nice of her plan to start their own search. She feels that Sir John’s spirit is with her, telling her that he needs help. She has no idea how correct she is.
  “We have confidence absolute in your husband’s command.”-The Admiralty “Are you sure that is merited?”- Lady Jane
  Aboard the H.M.S. Terror, Captain Crozier is losing it. He is drowning his despair in liquor and avoiding any interaction with his men. He has no idea what time it is, and almost forgets about an officer’s meeting he is supposed to be leading. A commotion above decks rouses him from his stupor, and he finds out that the beast has taken one of the men on watch from the ship. Amazed at the brazen attack, Crozier send out search parties to find the man, leading one himself out into the frozen wastes.
He leaves the ship with ship’s boy Thomas Evans (Joe Hurst) in search of the missing man. In what is one of the most beautiful shots on television this year, the pair trudge along the ice in mid-afternoon darkness, the only light coming from the green auroras dancing in the skies above. In a classic Scooby-Doo move, Crozier runs ahead to find the body of the missing marine, only to hear the screams of Evans behind him as he is swept away, leaving only his hat and his blood behind.
Fitzpatrick, handsome as ever, has lost the little bit of confidence he had in Crozier. He begs Crozier to lay off the booze, and asks him why in the hell he took this job in the first place. It was for love, we find out. He has asked Sophia to marry him twice so far, and has been turned down for his lack of station and his overall Irish-ocity. The only way he will ever gain enough respect for her approval is if he takes this last mission as a first-mate. Disgusted with the outcome of the mission and the dismal prospects for himself in the real world, Crozier leaves the room to fins that there has been yet another body found on the ship.
  “You’re going to need all the pity you have… for what’s coming”- Francis Crozier to James Fitzjames
  It is the body of Thomas Evans, bisected by a claw. Hickey finds the body, stood up on the deck of the ship, placed there by the beast to, again, try to get them to chase. The doctors tell the captains that this was a deliberate cut by a claw. One slice after another, in the small location, to intentionally cut the boy in half. Fitzjames refuses to believe that an animal has the cunning necessary to torment the men in this way, but he is assured that no man has the strength to pull this off. Only the beast’s tracks were found outside the ship, and it is decided that the indigenous woman camping near the ships must know something about the attacks. Crozier orders them to find her in the morning and to bring her to the ship unharmed and with all due respect.
Hickey, in his self-confident way, decides on his own to go after the woman and bring her back to the ship. He takes two men with him and, through obvious force, brings her aboard the Terror and sets her before an angry mob of seamen and marines. Crozier puts an end to the almost-riot pretty quickly with a shot from his pistol, and orders that no harm will come to the woman. Below deck, he questions Hickey and the other two men who perpetrated the abduction of the indigenous woman. Hickey tells him that he saw the beast with the woman. She was attempting to put a spell on the beast, and it was spooked away by the woman’s actions. He reports that it is three times the size of any bear that he has seen, with a “different set to the head” and indescribable eyes. They seem almost human, the way they search the horizon.
    For their mutinous actions, the three men are ordered to be lashed 12 times. After Hickey objects, telling the Captain that he should be thanked, not punished, Crozier orders that Hickey will receive 30 lashings, and that he will be “punished as a boy”. As Hickey is brought to the lashing table, his pants are lowered and the rest of the crew is forced to watch as his backside is sliced and decimated by the thirty swings of the cat. The faces on the men show their disgust with the actions of the captain, and the look on Hickey’s is one of murderous determination. The title of the episode, and the way they forced us to watch this brutal punishment unfold, sets up the rest of the series as Hickey will surely attempt to get his revenge for this humiliation.
During Hickey’s interrogation, he tells Crozier that he doesn’t think that it’s just a bear they are facing. Crozier looks him in the eye and simply states, “We know”. This matter-of-fact statement that this creature that is hunting them is more than they originally thought is what drives this show. They know that they are outmatched, they know that they are doomed, but they are stuck. What can they do? They started this mission with supreme confidence and hubris, only to be struck down and demoralized by a superior foe. Much like those young Mennonite boys from Kentucky did to my basketball team all those years ago, Tunbaaq has psychologically destroyed these men. When a man is scared and faces a superior foe, he turns against those around him, which is exactly what the men of the H.M.S. Terror are about to do.
This week’s episode of AMC’s The Terror might seem like a “filler” episode to some, but I assure you that it is anything but. It is yet another example of expert storytelling from the show runners. It advances the story while losing none of the momentum brought to us by last week’s bloodbath. It develops side characters while also setting up their motivations for the advancement to the forefront of the story. It is another hour that we get to spend inside the universe of the best show on television, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Keep an eye right here on Nightmare on Film Street as we continue to recap each week’s episode. If you haven’t already, join our Facebook Group, Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street, and let us know what you think of The Terror. Are you loving this show as much as we are? Join the horde and let us know!
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laptrance · 4 years
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July 28, 2020
it’s been over two years since my last entry. so much has changed. to update March 8 2018 me:
you give up on job searching atm until 4/24/18. that’s when you start reaching out to all the promotion companies from kucr. planetary was the other promotion company you remembered besides terrorbird. cirstina was super nice and chill and said they just wrapped internships for the summer but to inquire again for the fall. 
you wait those months while still working at mcdonalds. you get good at it and things are second nature to you. you still have moments where you storm out, but you get better at controlling your temper. 
you check back in august and cristina says there are positions open in the fall. it was pretty easy as they accepted you right away. you do this bat shit crazy thing where you try to balance the two. planetary internship Tuesday Thursday Friday and McDonald’s the rest of the days. you even do opening shift during the weekends (4am-12pm).
you’re mostly quiet during your internship. you participate in riyl’s. you mainly talk to cristina while mailing. you don’t open up much until hayoung joins in november i think. mcdonalds is the same as usual, but your sleep schedule’s FUKED UP.
you hear in december that maria (who worked in publicity) is quitting. cristina encourages you to apply. you talk with adam and the interview tbh goes horribly. not like you didn’t have anything to say, but everything you said was wrong LOL. you also talk to george and ben and they lay out what press does but you dont catch any of that.
christmas office party happens and you drink a lot. you open up a lot to EVERYONE, iNCLUDING BEN about your love life (embarrassing) you’re obviously too drunk to drive home, but you stay over the night with nik and alison (goth bless their souls)
you check in with adam on the position occasionally until feb. 2019 when he breaks the bad news. the position’s filled. like how can you be surprised? but you’re still upset. you’re able to turn this as a positive to use your experiences to boost your resume.
you continue to work at mcdonalds and interview at places until you get a random email from adam exactly one year after you first emailed cristina about the internship. adam offers you the job. ofc you accept. you quit mcdonalds and start with planetary on may 1.
learning publicity is one hell of a learning curve. heck, you’re still learning how to do shit even now. but you’re thrown on the deep end with Luna. not your fault. not totally kristen’s fault. but that was a crazy client. 
anyways, your sleep schedule’s still fucked up because of your commute. but at least you have free weekends now! 
some highlights of 2019: you finally get a macbook! but you have a galaxy s9 as a phone lmfao. placements in The Line of Best Fit and Paste! you get absolutely entranced with warehouse raves. you literally go to at least once a month. falling in love with queen of jeans and linking up with their publicist Jamie Coletta (she’s super cool and the best at the game), going on two (2) dates with a really nice girl named sara. you got in your head and probably fucked that up. but it really wasn’t the time. christmas party 2019. same shenanigans but this time you don’t drink as much. you really look for places to move out to with ryan and he finds a house that angeli and linda live. two people are moving out and the rooms go for $500 and $600. you get the $500 room and are set to move in on Feb 16 2020. news of a disease called coronavirus is first detected in china. this will be important later.
oh 2020. what a shite year. if i told myself the things i’ll write down below i would not believe it. but here it is. everything that has happened so far in 2020:
first cases of coronavirus appear in washington on january. you’re not too concerned about it. 
you’re working this country artist aminah hughes and land a placement in american songwriter for January 31 (1st time!). there are some issues and they post it one day later, but you weren’t as attentive as you should’ve been over the weekend.
adam talks to you about it the following monday (2/3) in a really calm matter but you beat yourself up over it. so much so that on your way home, you totally don’t notice a pedestrian crossing galloping hills and eucalyptus and run them over. everything feels like a blur, but you’re able to talk to the police, karen, and kimberly (state farm) about it. you take tuesday-thursday off.
you move in (night before you saw bored lord and octo octa until 3am wtf). you don’t have a car (for obvious reasons), but you’re able to commute to work via bus/subway (which you would’ve done anyway cause you love public transportation lol)
you’re able to return to normal life mostly until middle march. cases of the newly named COVID-19 have spread throughout the united states and you hear of workspaces transitioning over to work from home operations. planetary soon follows suit. our last day in the office is march 13.
literally the week after you start wfh animal crossing new horizons comes out. that keeps you busy for like two, three months tops. it’s also a nice way to keep in touch with friends. 
your first therapy session happens on march 31. you’re able to talk about the accident, but it’s quickly directed to self-esteem. it’s an ongoing process, but you’re slowly advancing. it’s not linear, but it’s better than doing nothing.
Bandcamp establishes “Bandcamp Day”, 24 hour periods in which the site’s share of profits go directly to artists/labels. Started in April, will continue through the end of 2020. All the money I would normally spend on concerts goes here now. That and I fall to the hands of food delivery apps (door dash wins)
your campaign with Atta Boy gets going. first track premieres at Atwood Magazine (2nd time! [1st time was with sophia st. helen, another awesome client]). band’s super happy about it (even mr. josh brolin himself gave a shout out [bias ofc]). by the end of may you land their second single on THE MOTHERFUCKING FADER (1ST TIME OBVIOUSLY). 
everything else is going surprisingly well for the most part (except for elp, but i don’t wanna talk about those fucking idiots) despite the ever-changing landscape of music journalism. huge blogs are letting people go while smaller sites are remaining mostly the same. 
On May 25, George Floyd is murdered by Minneapolis police which sparks the biggest wave of activity in the Black Lives Matter movement since Michael Brown’s death in 2014. organizing/activism is still going on to this day (7/28). 
For me personally, I’m making a conscious effort to highlight Black artists on my Bandcamp days and general sharing of music. I also joined a book club (6/18) and read “Are Prisons Obsolete” in its entirety. We’re currently reading a comic series called Bitch Planet. Deep and meaningful conversations.
the family hears news of Lola’s declining health. June 23rd (Manila time) is the day she passes away. We’re all able to say our last goodbyes via facebook video call. this is the first time i see my dad cry.
funeral takes place on june 27th. we’re able to partake in the ceremony via zoom. the first and only funeral i “attended” online (so far).
I start “fixing” myself physically. I went to physical therapy from 6/8-7/7. the exercises do wonders to my knees (ty dr. bailey!). also saw a dermatologist on 7/10. really quick appt. kinda felt rushed imo, but i was given a special sunscreen that works so far? also recommended otc meds like claritin.
ended campaign with atta boy. really sad to see them go. currently coordinating with their new managers on a possible podcast and press setup. 
and that’s pretty much it! it’s a lot of shit, i know, but it happened all within 2 years. overall i’d say we were pretty successful in finding a big-girl job and MOVING OUT, WHICH I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LMFAO. as for the shit you were hung up on with angelica, you’re so much better now, but you think about the good memories from time to time. sometimes it gets you down, but you’re thankful for the memories (come through fallout boy LMFAO AHAHA FALLOUT AMIRIGHT) and you learned from your mistakes. maybe it will be another two years before i leave another update, might be less, might be more. 
but i’m extremely proud at how far i’ve come.
im proud of you, me.
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But I Am Not A Superhero. Chapter 1.
Chapter One. November 19, 2017.
It was nearly four in the morning and I was laying in my bed, watching YouTube with my earbuds plugged in, actually one of his conspiracy videos, when the video suddenly paused and my phone started playing his ringtone, the intro of his hit song, ‘Superluv’.
Why is Shane calling me? I thought to myself as I looked at his number on my screen.
I bit my lower lip, listening to the ringtone start all over. I hadn’t heard from Shane since he started dating a Hilary Duff look-alike YouTuber called Lisa Schwartz, so it took me off-guard when I heard his ringtone.
The day that I actually got the guts to tell Shane that I liked him more than a friend was actually the day that he had huge news. So naturally I let him tell me the huge news first.
‘Stupid idiotic me.’
The huge news was that he was dating Lisa. So of course I didn’t tell him how I felt.
My thumb hovered over the red reject button, I really didn’t want to play catch up with him. I knew that it would really hurt because I still had feelings towards him. But something in the pit of my stomach made me answer Shane’s call. I pulled out the earbuds as I heaved a heavy sigh then hit the green button on my screen.
“Shane?” I asked, putting the phone to my ear, in utter shock, I moved so that I was sitting on the edge of my full sized bed, pulling the cord of my nightstand lamp.
I ran my thin fingers through my semi-long brown hair. It short of looked like the cut Shane had back in 2012. So it was kinda short, barely hitting my shoulders and covering my right eye.
‘Very emo and very not in style but I didn’t care. I like it.’
“Jess, hey.” Shane said softly then he cleared his throat, pulling away his phone slightly as he did so, “Did I wake you? I forgot about the three hour difference.”
“No, I was actually watching one of your videos, they are very creepy and well researched on your part.” I admitted softly, “You have changed just a little bit, still hilarious but more grown up. Though I can still see the nineteen year old Shane, sometimes.” I laid on my back in the middle of my bed, looking at my ceiling light that was shut off.
“Thank you, I am glad you still like my videos.” He said, it sounded like he was also laying down, probably on the brown leather couch in his office or the gray couch in the living room, “Do you actually think I have changed?”
“Yes, you have changed. I think I actually like the newer videos a bit more than your older videos. But I will always love your older videos, because... Well... They are a part of my younger adulthood.”
“I understand that, Jess. Thank you for saying that.” Shane said to me, “Are you still living with Momma Barnum and your sister, Sophia?”
‘Very odd question to ask.’
I wrinkled my forehead in confusion, I was surprised that he remembered my half-sister’s name, and just because it had been so long that we talked last.
Shane and I were the same age, had similar pasts, and had the same sort of shit to deal with. Like a single parent household, a father that we didn’t like, and having issues with bullies. So of course, we became very close. I remember thinking of him as my slightly older brother.
‘Well until those feelings changed into something more.’
I stood up and walked to my old oak desk, opening my laptop and logging into my Twitter, “I do still live at home. I actually tried to live in a group home for mentally disabled adults, as you know, it wasn’t a fit for me.” I went to his profile and liked a few of his tweets.
My biological father shook me when I was two months old. I had a brain bleed so some things were effected, like my speech, my balance and my fine motor skills. I was all there mentally. I got made fun of all the fucking time by my disability (even from a few family members, I’ll get to that a bit later) before most people got to know the real me.
As I grew up, in a way like Shane, I also had a persona. A better version of myself that I used online or when I met new people in real life. There were only a slim few who actually knew the real me. Shane was one of them, of course.
Shane and I actually met on a website called. We became best friends that way and once we were comfortable with each other, I finally told him about my disability and he didn’t judge me, and he actually supported me. Which utterly shocked the living crap out of me, even after him knowing I was half expecting him to go away and never contact me ever again.
“Because you are physically disabled, not mentally disabled.” He sounded like he was now walking around his house, “That was a horrible fit for you, no doubt. Why did you even try the group home? Knowing you and knowing that you are independent and whatnot, you just need some help, living there just for a few days would drive you fucking crazy.”
“My case manager wanted me to get a taste of living alone. I lasted like five days till I wanted to shoot my brains out. They treated me like a fucking four year old, I had to stay in my bedroom twenty-four/seven with a roommate who would look at me for hours on end, I had to stay in my pajamas, unless I had any visitors and they didn’t understand that I was vegan. I’m not vegan anymore, by the way. I love meat and other shit way too much.” I said, laughing a little at the end. Then I logged out of Twitter and went back on my bed and laid on my back.
He made a tutting noise over the phone call, “Jess.” He sighed. I bit my lower lip slightly, loving that he still cared even after all these years, “Well, at least you tried it and found out that a group home isn’t for you. Would you ever want to try to live alone or with a friend that you trust more than anything?”
I narrowed my brown eyes slightly, ‘Why is he asking me these kind of questions?’ I thought to myself as I saw the door open slightly and I heard a soft squeaky meow. It sounded more like a mouse but I knew that meow. It was my kitten’s meow, Persephone.
I shrugged as Persephone, my six month old kitten, who looked just like Shane’s cat Muffins, she climbed onto my chest and head-butted my left hand a few times, as if to say ‘Pet me, Momma. Please Momma, pet me.’ I gave in and petted her, “Sure, I mean I am almost thirty, just like you. I do not want to live with my family till I die, that would be just sad. And don’t get me started on my sex life. It sucks. Like ‘yup, I live with my overbearing mother, lets fuck while she isn’t home’.”
We both cracked up into a fit of laugher at that. It felt so good, laughing with Shane again.
“But I hardly get laid because when I finally tell them that I am disabled, they disappear like a puff of smoke. So my sex life is like yours when you were in high school.”
“That has to suck.” He said, “Now name three places you want to either live or visit.” He said to me. I stayed silent for a few moments, thinking hard, “Paris, Germany and California. Why are you asking?” I rubbed Persephone’s neck softly and she started to purr loudly.
“Just curious.” He said simply and I narrowed my eyes.
‘I know him better than anyone, he has a reason.’
I sat back up, making Persephone jump off of me, as she hissed at me angrily because she was comfortable on my chest, “Sorry, kitty.” I said softly, putting my feet on the hard iron bar that held up my mattress, “Shane Lee, I know you better than I know myself, so spill.” I put my elbows on my knees.
I only used his middle or real last name when I was sort of upset or mad at him. I really did know Shane better than myself and sometimes it scared me.
Shane was silent for a few moments then I heard him sigh, “Ryland and I broke up about a week ago.” I heard a cupboard door creek open over on his end, he was eating his feelings and that made me want to hug him and comfort him.
“Shane... I am so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” Wait, of course you don’t, never mind. I said in a soft voice. I shook my head in disbelief. I was actually happy that he had found someone else that made him happy.
‘Lisa and now Ryland. People who I thought would stick with Shane till they die.’
“I am okay.” Shane said, his mouth full of whatever he opened in the cupboard and stuffed in his face. Knowing him it was probably a package of Reese’s cups or some other kind of chocolate.
“Shane...” I started to say, but he stopped me, “Jessa, I am okay. Really.”
“Okay, I’ll drop it.” I sighed, I knew when to not to push him to talk about things because he would just shut down and I didn’t want to stop talking to him quite yet.
“Thank you, Jess.” He said, I heard him walking through his house, “So I have another question for you.”
“You want to ask if I would be willing to visit you, aren’t you?” I asked, laying back down on my bed, playing with a strain of my hair with two fingers.
‘I wouldn’t mind keeping him company, he is not living with Momma Yaw anymore and he has his shit together now. Well, somewhat put together. We could take care of each other, I could help him heal and he could help me live on my own. It would be a win-win.’
“I was leading up to that question, but yes. Would you want to finally meet? Stay with me for a month or something. We can play by ear when you get here. What do you think about that?”
I rolled onto my stomach, “Well, now you are in a better headspace, you have your own place, and you are more than able to take care of me. I see no reasons why we can’t meet each other now.”
“Would Momma Barnum even let you travel across the country to see someone that you met over the Internet?” Shane asked then I heard him tell Uno ‘No.’ His dog was probably doing something bad.
“What is Uno doing?” I asked as I smiled a little.
“He was jumping on me. I am trying to teach him not to jump on people when he is excited about something. Anyway, do you think Teri will let you?” Shane had suddenly became serious because he would hardly ever use my mother’s real name.
I sat up on my knees, I grabbed a pillow and hugged it against my chest, “Maybe, if I tell her who you are and that you won’t rape me, murder me and chop my dead body in a dozen pieces and throw my body in the ocean or something.”
Besides watching his YouTube videos for hours on end, I had another bad habit of binge watching crime shows like ‘Deadly Women’, Wives with Knifes’ and some others. I actually took a course in high school about solving crimes and I of course, aced it.
I heard his laugh and it made my heart do a dozen or so backflips. I gripped my pillow a little tighter as I smiled softly, trying not to squeal.
“No I won’t do anything bad to you. If it makes you feel any better, Momma Yaw is actually going to be in Chicago in a few days, I could tell her to make a pit stop to Detroit and pick you up. So that you won’t be flying to California all alone. I remember you saying that you only flew once. Coming to the United States from Germany and you can’t even remember it because you were a baby.”
He was being serious!
“That would be better. For Momma Barnum’s nerves and mine. So I’d be with Momma Yaw on the plane, not all alone?” I asked chewing on my lower lip.
“Not all alone, not at all. I promise you that. She would be with you the whole way. Then when you land at LAX, I’ll pick you two women up, then depending on the time that your planes land, we could go out for food or just head home.”
This was a different Shane from the years beforehand, the last time we were trying to meet each other, we couldn’t form a plan to save our lives. But now, he had everything planned out.
See what happens in only a few years later.
“Well, Momma Barnum really can’t say no, I am not a kid anymore so all I have to do is to tell her what is going on, tell her that we have everything planned out.”
“Very true. Oh and you don’t need to bring any money. I am more than willing to buy you what you need when you get here.” I could hear him take a few gulps of something, then swallow, “Think of it as an all paid vacation.”
“Sounds wonderful.” I laughed a little, “But that would probably be the selling point for Momma Barnum. We are still struggling with money. We make ends meet and get everything paid. We just don’t have a lot of left over money after paying all the bills and getting food.” I slid off of my bed and walked to my closet door.
“Been there, so I understand. Not a fun time. So are you really thinking of visiting me?” Shane asked me seriously.
“I am, actually.” Grabbing my black over the shoulder suitcase, “Do you know that exact date that Momma Yaw will be in Chicago?”
“November 29th through December 6th I believe, not really sure. I will text you with the right dates after I call her.” Shane heaved a sigh as if he was sitting down on a couch.
I gently put the suitcase down on my bed and unzipped it, “Another question.” I said, finding Persephone laying on my desk chair.
“Yeah?” Shane asked me through the phone.
“Is Cheeto okay with other kitties? I don’t want to leave my little princess with my family. They hardly remember to give the pets water every day and clean the litter box. I don’t want to worry about her while I am gone.” I picked up Persephone and nuzzled her, she struggled out of my grip because she hated being held.
“Of course, bring your baby with you!” He sounded like he was smiling, “Cheeto will probably hiss at her for a day or two but after a while he will get used to her. Is your princess up to date on her shots and other things?”
“Yes, she is heathy, spayed and flea free.” I said then kissed her head, “You are going to hate the flight but it will be worth it, Persephone.” I told her as she jumped down and climbed onto my bed and laid on it.
“The princess of the Underworld, it is a cool name.” Shane said.
“Yeah, I wanted her to have a princess name but she is a butthead so I decided on Persephone. I tend to call her Seph for short. She kinda looks like she could be a sibling of Muffins or at least maybe a daughter of her.”
“You remember Muffins?” He sounded completely shocked.
‘How could I ever forget about Muffins and his other pets? They were always in his videos.’
“Of course, I see that Momma Yaw is keeping her fat and happy. I follow her on Twitter.” I sat down on my bed looking at my dresser debating on what to pack.
“So you guys are still having money troubles? You kinda hinted it before when talking about Momma Barnum letting you visit me.”
I opened my shirt drawer of my short chubby dresser and picked out seventeen shirts (I even grabbed a few Shane Dawson shirts just as a joke) and packed them in the suitcase, then I shut the drawer, “Yeah, we are. We were doing okay for a few years after the divorce from Steve, Sophia’s father and my first step-father. Then Momma Barnum met an I.T web designer guy for Ford on Match.com, and got hitched soon afterward. But he cheated on a twenty-three year old church lady who sings in the fucking choir only four years after getting married, and she looks like a freaking whale. Downgrade, I am telling you.”
“Oh, that must have been horrible. I am sorry about that. Is that why you practically jumped at coming to visit me?” Shane asked then he called Cheeto to him then said, “My freaking cat hates me. He literally walked away from me.”
I chewed on my lower lip, putting my folded clothes in my suitcase, “Partly, but mainly it’s because I wanna meet you and cheer you up.”  Then I sat on my desk chair, “And don’t fucking lie to me, I know that he loves you.”
“I understand that, meet you favorite older brother and get away from the stress of money issues.” He laughed a little as I opened my closet door and grabbed my four hoodies, one gray, one pink and two black. I folded them and put them in the suitcase, then I shut the closet door.
“What are you doing?” Shane asked, I guess he could hear me moving around my bedroom.
“Packing some stuff now, so I don’t wait last minute.” I said opening my jean drawer, then grabbing only nice skinny jeans. Seven pairs. Three in black, two in gray, one black with white strips and another single pair in dark blue.
“Always need to be ready, don’t ya?” he joked. He knew that I always had to be organized. Even more so when it came with trips.
I balanced my phone between my cheek and shoulder as I folded my jeans so that were folded in a smaller square, “Shut up.” Then I put the jeans in the suitcase.
I decided to pack my other clothes when the day came nearer, so I put my suitcase near my desk with a light ‘flop’.
“I’ll let you go for now, okay? I really need to edit some videos that I did in the past few days.” He said to me, “Don’t be a stranger, you can text me and call me whenever you want. I hardly ever asleep.”
“Okay. I’ll text you when I tell Momma Barnum about visiting you.” I said as I sat on my bed, “It was great to hear from you again.”
“It was, I am glad I decided to call you. Talk soon, okay?” He said.
“Okay, bye.” I said as I laid on my bed, smiling softly I plugged in my phone and rolled over to my left side.
“Bye Jess.” He said then he hung up.
I put my phone on my nightstand, plugged it into my charger and shut off my light. I covered myself with my bedsheets and decided to get a few hours of sleep before I had to take care of my mother’s dog for her while she went to work.
--
I heard my mother’s footsteps on the main floor, headed to the bathroom, I rolled over on my back and rubbed my eyes.
After I yawned, I looked at my phone, it was six in the morning and I had a text message waiting for me from Shane. I clicked on the message as I smiled.
Shane- I was right, Nov. 29 through Dec. 6. She said she could come and get you in the morning of the seventh.
I smiled at the text, I didn’t reply because I didn’t want to bother him while he edited his videos. I slid off my bed and grabbed my red wire rimmed glasses and putting them on then I made the way out of my bedroom and to the dining room. I sat down on a high back wooden chair, “Morning Mom.” I said as I saw her walk out of the bathroom.
My mother was fifty-two and looked a lot more like thirty-two. She also looked a lot like me but a tad older. She had long black wavy hair, big brown eyes and very pale skin. She was a little heavy set but she made it look good. She was in her dark blue nursing uniform.
“Hi, you are awake early.” She said as she walked to the kitchen to make us cups of coffee with the one cup brewer that we had.
“Do you remember Shane?” I asked, opening up the convocation.
She handed me my orange kitty coffee cup, the tail was the cup’s handle. The cat kind of reminded me of Cheeto. She nodded, “The guy from YouTube? Yeah I remember him. Was that who you were talking to earlier this morning? You weren’t quiet.”
I held my coffee cup with both hands and blew on the hot liquid, “Yes, he called me.” I glanced up at her and set my coffee cup down, “He asked me to visit him. I really want to, Mom. And before you ask me a dozen questions, we have it all set. His mother is going to pick me up on December seventh, he said I don’t have to buy anything or bring any money with me and...” I sighed shrugging, “I really want to see him, Mom.”
“He lives in California, correct? That is a long way from Michigan.” She glanced at me as she held up her green frog coffee cup, “Will you be on the plane all alone?”
‘I knew she would ask me a million of questions.’
“No, his mother is going to fly with me back to California.” I said the sipped my coffee, “She is going to be in Chicago and then she would come here to get me before going back home.”
“When are you coming back home?” She asked me, glancing at me.
I bit my lower lip, “He suggested a few weeks or a month, we don’t really know.” I admitted softly, looking at her, “maybe more than that. It depends on me I guess. If I like it, I might stay longer, but if I don’t I’ll come home sooner.”
She nodded, “Okay, are you taking your kitten with you?” She stood up and packed a lunch for herself.
“I asked and Shane seemed excited on having another cat in his house for a while.” I said, tapping my fingers on my coffee cup.
“Don’t forget your health care cards when you pack your I.D.” My mother said, “If you have a fall or something, you will be able to go to the E.R without any trouble.”
I snapped my head up to look at her, “You are letting me go? Like for real? You aren’t bull shiting me?”
This can’t be happening! I actually thought she’d say no!
“I am not bull shiting you. I know you always wanted to meet him and I also remember how heartbroken you were when he was dating his girlfriend. Lisa.” She walked to me and pushed back my hair, then kissed my forehead, “I won’t hold you back from meeting him.”
I wrapped my arms around her middle, “Thank you! Thank you!”
She patted my head, “No problem. I am off on the seventh so I can take you to the airport. I don’t want to have Sophia to drop you off all alone without me.”
I smiled and nodded, “Thank you again.”
She shook her head and sat back down to finish her coffee, “Just take a lot of pictures and send them to me, alright? I just want to know that you are having fun with him.”
I smiled brightly, “I will, I promise!”
Suddenly we heard noises from the basement and then I saw Tobias and Sophia. Tobias was Sophia’s very stupid, untrained dog.
“Morning…” Sophia muttered as she took her dog outside then walked to the bathroom.
“She has to take me to work, because her and her gang are going to the mall today.” Our mother explained to me.
I tried not to roll my eyes, when I was a kid while we were poor, I hardly went out to the mall with my friends. I went back to my coffee.
Sophia walked out, her long blue hair up on a messy bun. She walked to the living room and put on her black slip-on shoes while with one hand she was looking at her iPhone screen. Then she let in her stupid hound dog and fed him, without uttering anything else to us.
‘How she could do anything without actually looking at what she was doing, I never knew how she could do that. Crazy.’
Sophia was seventeen years old, slightly heavy set, hazel eyes that she always had dark eye liner around them and she always had her hair dyed a weird color, this month it was bright blue.
“I am ready whenever you are.” Sophia said to our mother, grabbing the car keys. We only had one car so they had to share it. I learned how to drive but I was terrified to actually drive so I never did.
“Okay.” She looked at me, “Your clothes are in the dryer so tell Sophia to bring it up later today so that you can pack.” Our mother said as she pointed at me, “You have your suitcase? I can tell Sophia to look for it for you in the basement.”
I nodded, “I got it. It was in my closet. I have some things packed in it already.” I said softly.
Our mother smiled and walked to the table, grabbing her coffee cup, “Of course you have. You are always prepared and always early for things.”
“You going somewhere?” Sophia asked as she looked at her iPhone screen, still in living room. Her eyes were almost always glued on the goddamned screen.
‘Could she do anything without looking on her phone screen? I swear.’
“Jess is going to visit Shane for a while.” Our mother said as she rinsed out her coffee cup in the sink.
Sophia walked into the dining room, “Shane? Shane Dawson? Seriously?” she rolled her hazel eyes at me, “He has been on YouTube for ten years. He had lost his humor, when he shaved his hair. To me, he is dead.”
I glared at her, “I think he got better over time, I mean he did grow up.” I raised an eye brow at her, “That’s what most people tend to do after they turn a certain age.” I glared at her.
“He is stupid. His content is lame and he steals ideas from other YouTubers.”
I rolled my eyes, “Actually, no he isn’t, unlike newer YouTubers he doesn’t need to beg for views or likes or buy for views. Now that is stupid. And for a fact, no he doesn’t ‘steal’ ideas and if he does, he tells us whose idea that he stole so he won’t get mean comments.”
I learned a while ago that some newer YouTubers actually bought themselves views or likes. How fucking sad.
‘Thankfully Shane never had to do that.’
Sophia glared at me and was about to open her mouth but our mother snapped her fingers at her, “Okay enough!” She looked to Sophia then to me, “Jess is going, so don’t make fun of him and don’t hold her back from packing. After you get home you go back downstairs and bring up her clothes before you hang out with your friends.” She kissed my cheek, “Bye honey.” Then she grabbed her nursing bag and her lunch bag, “Okay, I am ready, let’s go.”
“Bye Mom.” I said, holding my coffee cup with both hands.
As soon as I heard the front door shut, I walked back to my room, unplugged my phone and clicked on Shane’s contact, I decided to call him, hoping that I didn’t wake him up.
“Hey.” Shane’s voice answered after the third ring, “Did you tell Momma Barnum already? That was fast.”
“Yes and I can come visit you!” I said sitting back down at the dining room table after shooing Persephone from my coffee cup. My cat loved sneaking anything that I was drinking or eating.
“She is off work on the seventh so that is wonderful, I just know if Sophia had to drop me off she would just drop me off at the door and leave.” I explained to him.
“I knew she would let you.” Shane laughed, “Sophia sounds rude. She wouldn’t want to watch you take off?” He sounded upset.
I took a sip of my coffee then smiled, “She cares more about her friends then her own family. So our mother’s will meet.” I set my coffee cup down and pulled up my feet up on the chair then I put my pointed chin on my knees, “That will be neat.”
“That will be cool, take pictures of our mother’s meeting each other.” Shane said.
“Will do.” I said to him, then I quivered slightly, “Argh, it is getting cold here.”
“I think visiting me would be good for your tense muscles, I remember you saying that freezing cold weather makes your muscles tense up. Maybe staying in California will be way better for you. Get you away from your family and away from the snow.”
“I know, I am glad that you called while it’s getting colder here.” I said, getting up, making another cup of coffee, “Do you have any plans for when I get there?”
“Yeah, I do. I plan to take you around town, to see the sights, take you to my favorite restaurants and to meet a few of my friends Kate.” Kate was his longest best friend, I recalled, that made me smile, knowing that he was willing to let me meet people that he was very close with.
“Then Drew, he is interested in meeting you. Garret for sure because you two have a weird obsession with Harry Potter and Trisha wants to meet you. Lisa wants to meet you as well.” He finished.
‘Lisa? That doesn’t sound good.’ I thought to myself.
“Trisha wants to meet me?” I asked in udder shock. She was one of my other favorite YouTubers and Shane did a lot of videos with her and I listened to her songs on my music app sometimes, “And Lisa wants to meet me?” I asked in small voice.
“Yeah, I told Trisha about you.” Shane admitted softly, “I told her that you were my best friend that I had online, that we have similar lifestyles, and that I feel like I can tell you anything.” He said, “And sure, Lisa knows that we were close, so when I suggested on having you around for a while, she told me that she wanted to meet you.”
I knew that they were still friends, but they actually talked about me? I bit my lower lip, “I thought she hated me.” I muttered softly.
“Why would you think that?” Shane asked me.
After only weeks of dating Lisa, he had stopped talking to me completely, just like right out of the blue. I tried to reach out to him every so often, just to check in, but whenever I sent him messages or requested a Skype call he would not reply and reject my Skype calls. After only three weeks of no responses I thought if he really wanted to talk to me, that he would reach out to me. But he never did. Weeks turned into months and months turned into years. I finally gave up and thought that he didn’t really want to be my friend and just thought of him as ‘Shane Dawson, the YouTuber’, not ‘Shane Yaw, my friend’ and that broke my heart into a billion pieces.
“Never mind, it’s nothing.” I said bitterly, not really wanting to talk about anything else other than Lisa wanting to meeting me and I mean anything!
I still had no answers on why did what he did and I was too terrified to ask why because I didn’t want to ruin things right away, so I told myself that I would ask him about why he stopped being my friend after a few weeks into my visit.
Bella and Tobias followed me in the living room and Bella, Mom’s black and silver cockapoo laid next to me while Tobias laid on the blanket on the hard floor near the wide window.
Shane must’ve known he poked at a sore subject for me and he changed it, “Are you getting excited on meeting me?”
“I am, very excited and very nervous as hell.” I said then sipped my coffee as I heard the blue SUV pull up in our driveway and a car door shut and I groaned softly.
“I am glad, Jess. I am actually getting excited as well.” Shane said as Sophia walked in the door and kicked off her shoes as the two dogs jumped on her excitedly.
“Get the fuck off of me.” Sophia snapped at them, pushing them off of her, then she glared at me, “Talking to your gay boyfriend again?” She asked as she rolled her eyes.
“Umm, you shouldn’t gay-shame Shane because you are gay.” I cocked my head at her, “So you should keep your damn mouth shut.” I glared back at her, my anger raising slightly, “And you shouldn’t yell at the dogs, they are just excited to see you.” I snapped at her, shaking my head at her, “Honestly, stop yelling at them, you always yell at them, you hardly ever talk to them nicely.”
“Who are you yelling at?” Shane asked me through the phone laughing a little, “And thank you for sticking up for me, you didn’t really need to.”
Sophia walked to her bedroom, “Come on, Tobias.” Then she whistled for him to follow her and he ran to the basement stairs.
“Sophia. She yelled at our dogs while they were jumping on her and no problem, I don’t know why she hates you so much, she used to be obsessed with you for years.” I explained to Shane petting Bella after she jumped next to me and set her head on my lap,
“I gave your number to Momma Yaw so that she could get ahold to you when you get to the airport and tell you where to meet her.” Shane said and I heard him typing on his keyboard, so that meant he was in his office working on videos.
“Okay, sounds good, I wasn’t even thinking of that.” I heard clicking of a mouse or something, so that meant that he was most likely working on editing some videos, “Am I bothering you?” I asked softly, ashamed that I probably was.
“No, of course not.” Shane said, “I can multitask, don’t worry about bugging me. I like talking to you while I work. It makes it go by faster.”
I blushed slightly, “Okay, you are the boss.”
I could tell that he was smiling, “That I am.” I cracked up and nodded.
“Damn straight.” I said after my laughing fit then I sighed, “I need to tell Sophia to bring up my laundry. Hold on, I am putting the phone down for a bit.”
“Okay, I’ll be here when you get back.” Shane told me.
I quickly put the phone face down on the black wooden table near my spot, then stood up and walked to the stairs, “Did you forget what Mom told you to do for me before you waste money with your friends?” I hollered down the stairs, holding the baby gate at the landing, I had a shadow with me. Bella was sitting right next to my left leg.
“NO! I am doing it now.” Sophia yelled back up at me, obviously lying to me.
She didn’t remember, because I was listening carefully while I was talking with Shane and I didn’t hear her moving around downstairs or the noise of the dryer door opening.
“Yeah right, you were sitting on your bed tweeting or some other shit.” I muttered softly as I walked back to the living room with Bella following me, “Come on, pup.”
“What did you mutter?” Sophia yelled up at me.
I ignored her and sat back down on the couch and picked up the phone, “Back.”
“Welcome back.” Shane said, “Can you do stairs? I was wondering if I needed to put your room on the main floor, don’t want you falling.”
“I can do stairs, slowly but they aren’t trouble.” I said, smiling. He was trying to Jessa-proof his house for me, “Thank you for asking though.”
“No problem I just want to be sure before I make up your room.”
“I understand that completely, I have seen your house due to your videos and Snapchat. I know that your staircase has a railing, so I will be alright.” I explained to him, “I’ll just be slow on them, but slow is better than falling off them.” I petted Bella as I spoke.
“True. Okay, if you are sure.” He didn’t sound convinced but that was okay, I understood his fears of me falling while I was there, I even had that same fear but I knew how to not make it true.
Sophia came upstairs with a basket of my laundry and plopped it right next to my bare feet, almost on one if I didn’t move it in time, “There. Now can I get ready or do you have other shit for me to do?”
“Lose your fucking attitude, Mom told you to do this before you got ready and you of course planned on not doing it at all because you are a total selfish bitch.” I snapped at her, not caring that Shane could hear our discussion through the other line.
“Make me, retard.”  She half whispered as she got into my face.
Everyone who really knew me, knew that I absolutely loathed that word and if you ever used it around me that I would get extremely upset. So I knew that she was just pressing my buttons just because I was talking with Shane.
I shook my head sadly, “Shut your fucking mouth, right now.” I raised my eyebrows at her, “I don’t fucking care if I am on the phone. I will slap you silly.”
“You won’t be able to hit me, you are too fucking slow.” Sophia snapped at me.
I heard a noise on the other end of the call, like Shane uttered something but I missed it.
“Try me, bitch, you are poking the bull and you know it. I know why too, it’s all because I am talking to Shane. I think you are jealous. So get away from me or I will smack you.”
“I’m going back downstairs before I say something that I’ll regret later on.” She said as she walked back downstairs.
“Yeah, you do that.” I muttered softly as I comforted Bella for a moment before I started to fold my clothes.
“She honestly pulled attitude with you for doing something for you? What the flying fuck? I only know you strictly online and I know that you can’t do stairs while holding a huge fucking basket of laundry. What is her fucking deal? ” Shane said when it was silent for a few moments.
I smiled as I shook my head, “It is okay, Shane, really. I am so used to it. And we won’t be strictly online friends in a few.”
“You got a point, you are right, but still.” He said seriously, “Does she normally talk to you like that without your mom there with you guys?”
“Yeah, she does. Even with Mom home, she doesn’t stop her half of the time. She just let’s her. That really helps with my low self-esteem.”
“Seriously, I understand that. I might not let you go back home after your visit.” Shane said, “I mean Jesus Christ just hearing her is making me very pissed off that she treats you like shit all because you can’t so some things on your own. How fucking selfish.”
“If Mom dies before I get out on my own or at least live with a friend, I will have to be taken care by her.” I wrinkled my nose, shaking my head, “It’s just not how she treats me. It’s also how spoiled she is. She knows that we have money issues and she always gets two or three make-up boxes in the mail, per month. I checked how much they are each, they are around thirty dollars per box! That is around ninety dollars per month!”
“That is insane! No, I won’t let you live with her, she’d steal your government money and use it for herself.” He said.
“Then who would I live with?” I asked, smiling softly.
“With me. If you wanted after a few weeks.”
I was silent for a few moments, “Shane…I just couldn’t live with you…”
“Why not? We could be roommates, you had to pay rent of course, but it’d be dirt cheap. I’d give you the friends and family discount.”
I smiled faintly as I continued to fold my clothes, “The friends and family discount?”
“Yeah, dummy. You are a friend of mine.” He laughed a little.
‘Maybe seeing Shane will change my life for the better.’
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227's™ TRAGEDY ALERT! 10 Dead! Spicy' Santa Fe Chili' Texas High School Shooting! News #Nike'Spicy'Tunes Spicy' NBA Mix! (Houston Chronicle) 'Multiple fatalities' reported at Spicy' Santa Fe Chili' High School Spicy' shooting
SANTA FE, Texas – At least 10 people died Friday morning in gunfire at Santa Fe High school, law enforcement officials confirmed, while at least 12 others were injured, according to area hospitals. Law enforcement officers are responding to Santa Fe High School following a shooting incident in this Harris County Sheriff office, Santa Fe, Texas, U.S., photo released on May 18, 2018. Police arrested a suspect and detained a second person, Harris County Sheriff Ed Gonzalez said via Twitter. The bloodshed 30 miles south of Houston is the worst mass shooting in America since February, when 17 people were gunned down at a high school in Parkland, Florida, according to a database of shootings maintained by the Washington Post. UPDATE 11:17 a.m.: At least 10 people have died, Gonzalez said. 11:10 a.m.: A senior law enforcement official said nine people have died. The shooter is a student who was armed with an AR-15 style assault rifle, a shotgun and a pistol, said the official, who requested anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media. "Evidently this guy threw pipe bombs all in there," the official said. "We don't know if any of them went off. The source said the death toll, which includes students and staff, is expected to rise. He also identified the injured police officer as John Barnes, a former Houston police officer who was retired and working with the school's police department. He was shot in the shoulder and is not critically wounded, the source said. 11:04 a.m.: Sheriff Gonzalez told reporters the number of dead could rise as high as 10. The suspect is believed to be a student, he said, and most of the dead are students. It is still a "very active" scene at the school, with a bomb squad and police checking to make sure the area is secure, he said. 11 a.m.: Gyl Switzer, executive director of Texas Gun Sense, issued a statement: "Our hearts go out to those affected by today's shooting at Santa Fe High School in Santa Fe Texas. We Texans love our children. We must do a better job of protecting them. There are proven strategies to reduce senseless gun violence. Today, Texas Gun Sense re-doubles our commitment to stop the killing. Work with us." Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton earlier issued a statement offering thoughts and prayers. 10:53 a.m.: Yesterday, David Hogg, a student from the Parkland high school that reginited a national conversation on gun control, had a chilling premonition. He said gun violence kept him up at night. "There is someone alive right now that will not be alive at this time tomorrow and has never even thought about gun violence, but everyone around them will have to for the rest of their lives," he told reporters at an engagement in Los Angeles. 10:47 a.m.: Tenth grader Dakota Shrader said he heard alarms go off and students exited to a grassy area, waiting for an all-clear as in a normal fire drill. Then he heard three gunshots and screams of "Run! Run!" Shrader ran as fast as he could to a wooded area, started having an asthma attack and called his mother. "The world, I just don't like what it's becoming," Shrader said. "Every school shooting, kids getting killed, innocent kids getting killed. No family should have to suffer that just because somebody wants to be selfish and go out and hurt other people. It's just not right at all." 10:45 a.m.: Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton issued a statement: "The thoughts and prayers of all Texans are with the people of Santa Fe and those affected by today's tragic shooting. As horrific reports come out of Santa Fe High School, my office stands ready to assist local law enforcement as needed." 10:40 a.m.: Trey Lemley, 17, said he was in the school's first floor art room when a shooter walked in, his sister, Courtney Lemley, 19, said. Trey dropped his phone and barricaded himself inside one of the room's two closets, she said. When he left, he saw three bodies and pools of blood. Courtney and her boyfriend, 19-year-old Austin Evans, graduated from the school last year. They said the art room is located near a main, back exit of the school, and the room itself has an exit that leads to the parking lot. After being turned away from the school, Courtney and Evans walked to Arcadian First Baptist Church, where Courtney's mother works. In the parking lot, National Guardsmen gathered supplies before driving towards the school in a military vehicle. Small groups began to gather in the church's parking lot, staring at their cell phones and sharing details they heard from friends and from news outlets 10:35 a.m.: The University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston has received three patients, the hospital reported on social media. Two are adults and one is under 18. Clear Lake Regional Medical Center in Webster received seven injured students, a spokeswoman for that facility said. Previous reports that an injured officer was taken there are wrong, she said. Two other injured students were taken to Mainland Medical Center in Texas City, she said. The conditions of all of the injured are unknown. EARLIER: An unidentified law enforcement officer was shot, but sources said he was "clipped" and was not seriously injured. One source said the gunman was a male, but could provide no further information. The shooter has been "arrested and secured," said Santa Fe HS Assistant Principal Dr. Cris Richardson. Several other students as well as an officer was injured in the shooting. Joe Gamaldi with the Houston Police Officers Union tweeted, "Please keep the officers in your prayers as one officer is being life flighted to the hospital." Students described the gunfire, which broke out about 7:30 a.m. Junior Liberty Wheeler, 14, was in class when she heard five shots ring out near the art room. Her teacher told them to run toward the theater department's storage room, where they hid for 45 minutes before being escorted outside by the SWAT team. "You could smell the gunpowder that came from the gun," Wheeler recalled as she was escorted out of the building. "We were all scared because it was near us." Paige Curry, a junior at the school, said "I was sitting in my classroom and I heard very loud booms and I didn't know what they were. I was confused but after I heard screaming, I figured out what they were, got up immediately and started to run. I almost ran out of the school but I hid instead with the other students. I was there for maybe 30 minutes I was on the phone with my mom the whole time. They found us and escorted us." "There were a lot of people, a lot of different suits so I wasn't really sure but I think they were SWAT." "I was very, very scared but I managed to keep calm, especially with my mom on the phone." "I heard people were hurt and the gunshots were from a classroom maybe three doors down. I heard five [shots] maybe. It was one boom, then another boom very loud. It wasn't rapid." The University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston is treating two patients, their conditions not yet being disclosed, said spokesman Raul Reyes. He said more patients are expected, including one currently being transported from the branch's League City hospital. He said a helicopter with at least one patient is on the way and more ambulances are expected. Officers in tactical gear were deployed into the school. Outside, groups of students evacuated from the building are being patted down by authorities. Deputies from the Harris County Sheriff's Office were sent to assist Galveston County officers on the scene, according to a tweet by HCSO Sheriff Ed Gonzalez. The ATF also confirmed it responded to the scene. Richardson said he could not confirm whether there was more than one shooter. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/multiple-fatalities-reported-at-santa-fe-high-school-shooting/ar-AAxtvuC
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227's™ TRAGEDY ALERT! 10 Dead! Spicy' Santa Fe Chili' Texas High School Shooting! News #Nike'Spicy'Tunes Spicy' NBA Mix! (Houston Chronicle) 'Multiple fatalities' reported at Spicy' Santa Fe Chili' High School Spicy' shooting
from Jamaal Al-Din's blog 227's™ YouTube Chili' NBA Mix! http://hoops227.typepad.com/blog/2018/05/227s-tragedy-alert-10-dead-spicy-santa-fe-chili-texas-high-school-shooting-news-nikespicytunes-spicy-nba-mix-h.html via http://hoops227.typepad.com/blog/
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