#he hardly remembers anything other than how he died and even that isnt very clear doesnt that seem unfair. also its just really irrelevant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

andreils-keys · 4 years

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kay so ive been taking prompts from my instagram and

why would you tell me not to kill one and if i do to bring him back please you’re taking all the joy out of writing >:(

anyways lets get into it <3 (tw: small mention of domestic abuse)

(disclaimer yes i am a kandreil shipper :))

andrew is cursed in the same way blue was sort of where if he tells someone that he loves them they’ll die (yes i changed it a bit)

but instead of doing the whole 'you're cursed zap magic' thing (bc i don't think it'd fit very well in the aftgverse) im gonna try something else

andrew had some pretty shitty foster homes when he was young

but the worst one was a small house by a family-owned ice cream shop

he remembers the ice cream shop very vividly. it was where he went when his foster mother was out working or drinking. it was where he went to feel safe.

he was pretty young, maybe 4 ? 5 ? impressionable. in that stage where santa claus and the boogie man were real, where hiding under a blanket protected you from nightmares. (he learned pretty quickly that hiding under the blanket did not protect you from anything.

he was bashed and battered with fists and words, words that cursed his very being and proclaimed that to love him was to die.

he was so young

he was only a child

and he did what children do best

he believed

there was a time when he doubted

another foster parent, a run down house made beautiful with love and mismatched furniture

the road to healing is rocky and dangerous, but easier to traverse when you have someone behind you

finally, he let himself love

he let his foster mother in, little by little, and he thought: maybe im not a curse

and he said: i love you

the day after, she died in a car crash

the car brutalized

her body brutalized

his heart brutalized

coincidence? he says out loud at the entrance of another foster home. because it needs to be said. because lies always become crystal clear when said out loud.

bc of this he's never directly expressed love for anyone and he tends to distance himself from people just to make sure there's 0 risk of him causing someone's death

but if he does care for someone he shows this through actions (no i love yous because that's what he believes caused his foster mothers death)

he's always had people he's cared about, people he's wanted to protect and keep safe

but ever since the car crash, hes never had anyone hes wanted to say i love you to

until

[enter kevin day]

the first person that consumed him was kevin, the boy that sought him out in high school with desperation in his eyes, raving about a sport that had made andrews days in juvie a little more bearable.

the man that always appeared on television with a cardboard smile stamped onto his face, always a step behind riko moriyama, always hiding in his shadow.

the man that inexplicably made yet another appearance in andrews life, this time with a shattered hand and a plea for help.

the man that pushed and pulled andrew just enough to get him through another day, another week.

and then neil, so different from kevin and yet so alike, as sudden as a gunshot, as tantalizing as death.

the boy that's as invested in riko and kevin as andrew is.

the boy that is impenetrable and distrusting, the boy that lets no one in.

at first andrew thinks he's safe. as long as neil doesn't let anyone in, that means andrew won't have to let him in. and kill him.

aha sike. turns out neil is the trusting-no-one-but-andrew-minyard-and-kevin-day type

the three of them form a twisted complicated pyramid; each side leaning against the other two. immovable. strong. inseparable, unless andrew deliberately pushes himself away when the feeling ballooning in his chest is too much.

(although he will always get pulled back in. the gravity of neil and kevin is too strong for andrew to stay away.)

he promises to protect them because that's what he does for the people he cares about.

but falling in love is a whole other ball game.

andrew is so afraid.

afraid to love them, afraid to let them in.

he knows he can't allow it; every time he thinks of how much he feels for them, he remembers the car, the shattered windows, the pieces of glass tipped with blood.

but andrew is only human.

even if he tells himself not to fall in love, the heart and body tend to ignore the mind.

he let’s himself be selfish

the hard press of kevin's lips against his, the gentle tug of neils fingers threaded through his hair, a hand clamped against neils neck and the other gripping kevin's arm.

that is all andrew allows

he doesn't mind if kevin and neil go gallivanting off somewhere on their own (s a f e l y; if those idiots get taken by the yakuza it would be extremely inconvenient for andrew)((andrew: dammit now i have to save them from the mafia nicky: you don't have t- andrew: no im gonna)), even if it prods unpleasantly at a sensitive point in his heart. if they're happy, hes happy.

(well, not quite happy. satisfied is the proper word. and he supposes that's the most he can ask for.)

he doesn't tell them about the nightmares. the dreams of fire and blood and twisted metal, of fists and a curse and a small, dark room. more often than not neil will wake to find andrew sliding out of his bunk and going to the kitchen for a bowl of ice cream.

neil won't pry, but he'll wake kevin and they'll join andrew in the kitchen, standing on the other side of the counter from andrew with their shoulders pressed together, a reminder to each other and andrew that they are there for each other.

and then neil disappears. like a dream. like smoke.

andrew took his eyes off neil for one second, and neil vanished in the crowd of angry fans.

they search and search but neil is gone.

all they find is neils exy racket lying on the ground in pieces, broken from the stampede of fans.

andrew whispers, the words dredged from a desperate, vulnerable place inside him: i love you. neil, i love you. come back to me. come back to kevin. come back to us.

the next day, the fbi tells them that they found neils gym bag. it was covered with tire tracks and spattered with blood.

they couldn’t find neil.

and the pyramid falls.

the grief and guilt and heartbreak andrew feels is unparalleled. never has he felt so broken. never has he felt so dirty. he did this. he did this.

kevin insists neil is still alive. lost and floating, but alive

but andrew knows better.

his nightmares get worse. sprinkled in with the mauled car and heavy fists is a shattered exy stick, a gym bag dripping blood, an unreachable figure with red hair and a slash of a smile.

andrew spirals.

he refuses to speak to anyone. even kevin. he'll stay with kevin and press his palm into the side of kevin's neck, his pulse grounding andrew and keeping him in the here and now, but he will not speak.

cabeswater brought gansey back right and i feel like the one closest to magic would be renee (thank you neils jortventures fairy magic huzzah) except she doesn't use magic.

so remember how she was affiliated with a gang when she was young

there was a member of the gang that continued to reach out to her, especially once they escaped from the gang a little after renee did

renee did respond to their messages, but she tried not to initiate conversation because they were part of her old life and she was living and loving her new one.

essentially she was nice enough not to cut them out completely.

unfortunately the kid got caught up in another gang that was closely associated with the butcher of baltimore

when nathan dies they text renee about how their gang is in pieces because the butcher is dead.

renee isnt there to receive the message right away (she and andrew were sparring, as they were keen to do now that neil was gone and andrew was out of sorts) and kevin is the one to catch the word butcher when the notification pops up

he scrambles for renees phone and sees: the butcher is dead.

he is so relieved because the butcher, the man kevin always had to fear and avoid, is dead

and then he starts to think

neil’s father was the butcher. does this have something to do with neil? was the butcher the one that took neil? if the butcher is dead, does that mean neil is still alive?

it’s a bit of a stretch, but kevin is willing to believe anything if it means that neil is alive

he tells andrew

he doesn't expect andrew to do anything but he still wants to tell him, just so that andrew will know, just so that kevin himself can taste the words.

kevin asks renee if they can reach out and she's like wtf y'all doing going through my phone but she understands how hard it hit them, andrew especially, and if it'll help them she'll go along

they meet up with the kid

renee seems nice enough, but andrew can tell how strained she is by the way she keeps cracking her knuckles one by one

they get the info from the kid about a red haired blue eyed cut up burned kid

kevin is distraught about the cut up burned part

andrew is close to vomiting from a whirlwind of relief (they never said he was dead) and denial and fear for neil

he refuses to get his hopes up; he said the cursed words. he saw the blood on neils’s gym bag. he saw the shattered exy stick. (or was that a dream? his nightmares and reality are so tightly interwoven he can hardly tell what's real)

the kid warns kevin and andrew that the last time they saw neil was in the basement and that the probablity of him still being there is relatively low

kevin makes a sort of impatient gesture at the kid and they bring kevin and andrew to the house (renee stays behind; she made a lame excuse about needing to make a phone call but she just wanted to give them space, either to reunite with neil or grieve their loss a second time)

from the outside, it’s a nice looking house and it doesn’t look threatening in the least, but andrew knows how deceiving appearances can be

once they go inside everything is in shambles. the couch overturned, the tv screen cracked in multiple places, ceiling plaster and pieces of porcelain all over the counters and dining table

the kid points them to the basement

kevin is the first to go down

andrew is surprised mainly because kevin is usually always so careful

andrew follows more warily, afraid to find nothing, afraid to find neil; afraid to have his heart broken all over again, afraid of the prospect that he has wasted his entire life living a lie.

he reaches the basement to find kevin wrapped around a small beat up, bruised, burnt, and shivering lump.

neil is hurt and bloody, and it drives a stake through andrew’s heart, but the fact that neil is breathing and alive alive alive causes a different kind of pain, the unique pain of relief and sorrow and love swirled together.

kevin is stroking neils hair and very obviously trying not to have a panic attack and andrew goes to them

sits down

both kevin and neil look up at him, and andrew watches as some of the fear and pain in their eyes fades.

he can feel the words bubbling up and he wants to say them, to scream them, but they are stuck inside his throat, twisted around his tongue.

it is a language andrew has taught himself to unlearn.

the road to healing is rocky and dangerous, but easier to traverse when you have someone behind you

it’s even easier when you have two people behind you, people who have seen what you have seen, people who make an effort to understand you.

andrew eventually does say it.

the words, no longer cursed, are still clumsy and fall in a messy jumble at his feet

but there they are, light as a cloud, heavy as a storm:

i love you

#aftg #all for the game #aftg hc #aftg headcanon #aftg headcanons #kandreil #kandreil hc #trc #bluesey #this wasnt supposed to be angst #and then it turned into kandreil angst #and honestly im not complaining

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neaura-nightsong · 5 years

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Crazy Dream

So I had this CRAZY Dream last night, and I'm going to attempt to recap it.. So buckle in. So there was this weird party going on in this skyscraper downtown. I heard about it, and supposedly it was indoor camping in the building's basement levels. You put up a tent, hang out, there's food, live music, movies on projectors, etc. It sounded weird and fun, so I figured why not, and invited a guy I was seeing to come with me for the night. I got there first, with the tent and sleeping bags, and I figured I'd go in and set up and get oriented. The building was *really* high end and fancy, but I didn't get to see much of it except the lobby and basement levels. I had arrived pretty early, so there wasn't a ton of people around yet, so I scouted out a good spot, and went about setting up the tent and contents. Once finished, I decided to head out to get a bite to eat, then I'd come back and meet up with my guy friend closer to when things are winding up. I returned to the apartment building a couple hours later.. My friend still was running late and had not shown up. So I went back in without him. IT WAS PACKED NOW. Like, concert level packed. I was struggling to find where I had put my tent, everything was so disorienting and different looking now with so many people and other tents, many of them similar looking. Eventually I saw what looked to be my tent, shoved against a wall and squished, to make room for other people who had taken the space for themselves. Particularly, three guys in their early 20's who had set up right where my tent had been. I approached them, and said something like "Hey what the hell! That's my tent back there, why did you move it, that's really rude!". They said that nobody was there so they just did it, and so what. So I go over to my tent to pack it up and find somewhere else, when one of the guys grabs me. I struggled with him but he was way too strong. He then started to grab me in inappropriate places, and I screamed "HELP! HELP!" nobody heard or nobody cared. I continued to struggle, as his touching became increasingly sexual and inappropriate. Now I screamed "HELP!! RAPE! RAPE! HELP!" Still, nobody came to my aid. Now he covered my mouth with a hand. I realised that if this continued, they would never let me leave.. I had seen their faces, bodies, heard their names, etc.. So I decided to pretend that I consented at this point.. that his advances had turned me on or something, and that I was now into it. So I stopped resisting, and changed my body language, and when he uncovered my mouth I said something like "Actually yeah, let's do this". After it was over, they were all still hesitant about letting me leave. I told them I did not remember their names, that I had really bad memory.. and besides, why would there be anything to worry about if I ended up consenting, we were all just having fun right. They let me leave. I grabbed my tent and walked away casually. As soon as I was out of eyesight, I dropped the tent and started running... I was in panic from what had just happened. I found a quiet spot, and called my friend to tell of what had happened, and vent. That's when I saw something strange.. Some guys were holding pistols, and talking aggressively, talking about doing something, and how they should do it. I didn't have the mental focus to worry about this right now, so I went to the elevator and went up to the Lobby. The Lobby.. There was a security booth at the front of the lobby, with a security officer on duty. I went up and knocked on the bullet proof glass, and asked her if I could come inside the booth, and that I needed to talk about something that happened in the basement. She could see I was crying and in distress, so she let me in. That is the moment when the elevator doors opened, and two people, one male one female, wearing all black, came out, one carrying a revolver, and one carrying a semi-automatic pistol. The first thing they did was come up to the security booth, and started shooting at the door, trying to get it open. But as I mentioned, it was made from bulletproof glass, and took minimal damage, though they were slowly wearing it down. That is when the security guard took out her revolver, and got ready for them to break in.. which they did. and shots flew in both directions.. I was standing beside the door that had been broken open, trying to push it back closed, against the force of one of the people in black. The security guard took the man out. But now the woman was enraged, the pushed the door open wide, despite my efforts, and shot the security officer right in the gut. She was out of bullets now, but the officer was not. She takes aim at the woman, but the woman grabs onto the gun and tries to push it into a different trajectory.. So I grab onto it too and push it back into its intended trajectory.. into the woman's head. The security officer collapses from her wounds, but I continue to struggle, and pull the trigger. The woman dies. I just killed someone. What the hell is going on. I exit the building, and that's when I overhear I couple people in a very expensive car nearby. I learn via their conversation that this whole camping party thing was organised as a birthday celebration for the daughter of a mob leader.. and that the leader, had a sister, and this brother and sister were warring over who whould be in charge of the mob, after their father had recently passed away. The building was owned by the brother, but the sister was here to take control and subvert her brother. Holy shit. I was in the middle of a frigging mafia war. But later I would learn it wasn't that simple.. There was a dark reason that the sister had not taken action until now. I just didn't know it yet. At this point I decide it is best for me to act like one of the regular party-goers, and like I hadnt seen or done anything unusual. I go out to the car where the daughter (the one the party is for) was, and she looked visibly upset. I ask her what is wrong, and say "this party is all for you, isnt it? How come you're not getting to enjoy it!" She tells me they wont let her in because of something happening with the building, and that she doesn't think she'll get to go. "Aww, that's too bad.." I say. "Well I really hope that changes, and you can go have some fun!". "Thanks" she says. Great, now the daughter of a mob leader has had a positive friendly association with me. This could help me later on. I continue this strategy, innocently chatting and being friendly with people who appeared to be closely tied to what was going on.. all the while pretending I was clueless to the fact that there was anything more going on here than a fun harmless party. It was working. Now most of the daughter's body-guards, and staff knew who I was, and had had friendly interactions with me. Not likely that their first instinct will be to shoot me when they see me, now. Eventually, they deem the situation stable enough that the daughter and her staff are moved into the upscale lobby of the apartment. They hang out, watch tv, talk, etc, and I am there with them, buddying it up. A few times, the elevator doors would open, and members of the Brother's (the guy who's apartment it is) security forces would burst out, and I would have to act like I was defending the daughter and her staff, and take defensive actions. This helped to prove my loyalty, and show them I was cool with what was going down. ~~~~Some of the dream is lost~~~~~ Eventually, the Sister (The rival) comes in to the building, concerned that the takeover is going more slowly and messily than she wanted.. I am in so deep now, and she is told of everything I've done to help them.. She wants to recruit me to go up into the levels of the building, and clear it out of anyone who is loyal to her brother and not her, and log/document my actions as I clear each floor. Let's be honest, my choices here are agree, or be deemed disloyal and probably be executed. So I agree. I am given guns and ammo, and a stack of paperwork, and keys to an apartment on the 80th floor. I am told that the floors closer to the top are safer, and the lower floors are still in heavy conflict, or secured by her opposition. The first thing I do is go to the 80th floor and go into "my apartment". It's nice. But, what the hell have I gotten myself into?! WTF! I decide what I will do is kinda roam the floors, scouting things out and getting a feel for what's going on, and then I will later on go and fill out the paper work, and falsify it with fake kills and etc so it looks like I had been busy working for her. I start with the high floors, since those are supposedly safer. That's when I start to see something I can hardly believe. There was more going on here than I suspected. The people loyal to the Sister, they werent human.. At least.. not entirely.. The only way I can describe it is that they looked like genetic mutants, each having different and random variations that made them more powerful, dangerous, or scary. Meanwhile, the people on the lower floors, they are just regular people, mostly civilians. This isn't a mob takeover, this is some kind of genetic freakshow genocide, or aliens, or what?! I don't even know anymore! After a long time, I return to my "apartment". I receive a call from the Sister. She wants me to come down to the lobby and rpesent my paperwork and progress reports, and celebrate with them, have a drink, etc, because aparently the whole thing is going very well, and they've cleared every floor above floor 17. Okay, I am just finishing up some work, but I will be down there shortly, I say. Time to quickly finish falsifying those logs and paperwork so it looks like I've been reasonably productive, but not so much as to draw suspicion. I describe what I had seen on each floor, and make up kill logs for enemies I had "taken out". When I finished, I headed down to the lobby. Everyone there was in good spirits, and I received lots of congratulations on my small part in the work. They poured me a drink, and I joined them in the festivities. The Sister said she had to go, and that she'd be going to the top floor to set up her new command post, now that this building was being captured in her name. That seemed fine, since there was like 70+ floors secured between her and her enemies, and the win was ever closer in sight. (I almost didn't want to mention it, but she did some weird alien psycho-kinetic stuff to me when she congratulated me, and made me feel all turned on and good, but like cranked up to 1,000. Was this some way to control me?) "But, I'd feel better if she had at least some backup, out in the hallway, I should go with her." I said. The remainder of the group commended me for my diligence, and off I went. I wasn't going there to protect her, though. I was going there to kill her. It was easy. I came to the top floor, and she had her back turned to me.. I shot her 8 times in the head and chest. Then I lit the room on fire, and left. On the elevator ride back down, a little boy got on, from floor 12, and said he was going up to floor 67 to find his friend.. I had to talk him out of it.. if he tried he would surely be killed.. "We have to get out of here, now! People have to find out about what's going on here!" The boy was sad... he was even wearing his monster halloween costume to try to blend in witth the freaky mutant-aliens he would have to get past. But he didn't fight it.. I think he knew it was a suicide mission. But at least this way, if we get out, and find help, we might be able to save some people. So we left. Not through the lobby, but through a back fire exit. We went to the nearest place that had a phone and made just about the strangest 911 call ever to have taken place... The End

#dream #nightmare

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anastasiaskarsgard · 5 years

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Meeting Roman Godfrey

Chapter 2

Warning: cursing.

Author notes: establishing these two dynamic. The calm before the storm if you will. Lol.

“I can honestly say that I’m jealous.” Roman mumbled as he stared in wonder at myr Uncles’ home. Walking around touching the original furnishings, and admiring the extensive art collection that was everywhere you looked, in some form or another.

My uncles home had been designed by famous architect frank lloyd wright and was dramatically built on top of a waterfall, giving it the suitable name of “Falling Water”. It was as famous for its genius design, as it was for being owned by a reclusive antisocial billionaire that didn’t allow journalists, photographers, architects or anyone for that matter near the home, let alone photograph it.

I think, the waterfall is annoying,the kitchen impractical,pretty much had no storage space, was constantly in need of some major renovation or repair, and was as close to living in a fish bowl you could get. I’d never admit any of those things out loud, because it truly was beautiful, but deep down I hated living in the famous home.

“I’m just shocked you drove all the way out here. I figured for sure you’d see how far it was and be like pass.” I said trying to draw some attention from the home.

“He recognized the address.” I spun around to find my Uncle standing by one of the homes many staircases.”hello Godfrey. I bet you’re beside yourself to finally have a look inside.”

“Absolutely, sir. It’s an absolute honor to be in your home.” Roman said politely.

I looked at him incredulously. He was known for being a pain in the ass and a brat, but maybe he was just smart and chose his battles. My uncle was as famous for being an asshole as he was for being a genius, but it seemed as though they knew eachother. “So I guess you two know eachother?” i asked.

“Since i can remember. your Uncle loves to tell me to go fuck myself on the regular. Well not since I tried to buy this house right before....” Romn trailed off as he seemed to get lost in some distant memory...

“What happened to your cousin Letha?” My uncle asked. Strange for him to even ask personal questions, let alone remember names (even if it was my name too)

“Uncle! It might be polite to ask him how he is first...” I huffed.

“I dont care about his emotional state. I care about how a perfectly strong healthy girl died so suddenly and then it just went away.” he analyzed Romans reaction, but there was none. my Uncle liked to test people.

“brain or blood vessel burst in child labor. I was there. So much blood... then she was gone.

“Uncle!!! Are you seriously...”

“No need to defend me Letha.” Roman interjected with a pleasant smile, “your Uncle is one of my favorite people.”

“Did I ever tell you how not just one, but two women ended up with your terrible name?” he asked me with one of his mischevious smiles. “in Greek it translates to forgetful, and considering you’re not forgetful in the least its ironic. Marie and your mother both hated Olivia, and bonded over that mutual hate. Marie was so taken by your others charms, she named Letha after you the following day.”

I looked over to Roman and he was staring into me. i glanced away to my Uncle, who was watching Roman wth a strange smile on his face. He was acting kind of strange, even for him. I’d better get Roman out of here before he hates me.

“. Come on out here with me and we can chat you two. Letha grab me a ginger ale and get Roman a water since he’s driving.” my Uncle ordered.

I agreed and hurried to the kitchen and watched in curiosity as the two notoriously difficult business tycoons seemed to be enjoying one another out on the terrace.

I hadn’t planned on inviting Roman in, but he had been so obviously enamored by the famous home, that i couldn’t refuse when he’d politely asked to see it. Normally a guy asking to see inside was a question with shady intentions, but the pure wonder on his face had proven otherwise.

Now i didn’t even know what to think about my Uncle being his version of kind to Roman. Uncle hated visitors. I wasn’t totally sure how much he liked me even. I felt like I was in some alternate reality

I grabbed the drinks, put them on this fancy tray and carried them out to the terrace. It was just nearly dusk and this was one of the prettiest times to see the house, when it was all lit up like a lone lantern in the thick forest with the dramatic waterfalls, and otherworldly feel.

It was kind of silly that the house was the view, instead of the house having a view. And ironically, the house was so hidden away on 1700 acres up a long winding road, behind a massive gate, with full time security, that nobody really ever got to view it.. Uncle has grown tired of people just showing up or seeing flashes in the woods, so he hired this crazy security company to keep everyone out and monitor all the borders. Hardly anyone ever made it thru now. It was private, but extremely isolated and lonely.

“I’m surprised you’d take interest in Letha.” My uncle said, eyes narrowing obviously oblivious I was right behind them. I held my breath and didn’t move a muscle. I wanted to hear this.

“Why? She’s a beautiful girl.” Roman chuckled.

My heart warmed and stomach fluttered a bit. OH HELL NO Letha. Keep that shit in check.Hes gorgeous, and tall, and sexy, and charmng, and smelled nice, and could hold his own with your uncle, but hes also famous for bedding every woman in his path....

“Frankly her breasts are too big for my taste, they seem like a handicap more than an asset, but that’s trivial and shallow. She’s too smart and she doesn’t listen for shit.”

“I had noticed that actually...” Roman said thoughtfully.

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

I cleared my throat, so I didnt hear anything else wrong with me. “Drinks guys.”

Roman hopped up to help me but I signaled him to sit, as I served them their beverages. I could feel his eyes on me, but was careful not to look at him and notice.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” My uncle said. I was gonna punch him in the face, hes such an ass! god I love him.

I burst out laughing and looked at Roman who was 3 shades redder and forcing an uncomfortable smile.He isnt that cool, he does get embarrassed, thats better.

My Uncle started to laugh but winced. “Ouch. Shit. Fucking neck.” He cursed as he was reminded laughing wasn’t allowed yet. He hardly ever did laugh so it wasn’t really an issue normally.

“You’re my favorite person in the world Uncle.” I meant it too. He’s always been there for me, and when I heard he’d hurt himself and may need my help, I dropped everything, hopped in my car and drove the nearly 3000 miles to his house.

It’d taken nearly a whole day to get permission to pass the guards. They were new and usually my uncle came to see me. I’d only been to this house one time when I had graduated high school more than a few years ago. With me going to University, my uncle no longer had to live in the city, so he came here.. Something about the house and town was unsettling to me.

“Well considering the competition, it’s not much of a compliment.” My uncle said dryly. “One day you two should compare notes and see which one of your mothers is the more despicable creature.”

“Is it ok if I take Roman on a little nature walk so he can see the house in all its glory?”

“Go ahead. I’m gonna go to sleep shortly but no hanky panky you two.” He said with a mischievous grin.

Now it was my turn to be red. I turned to Roman and he was already up by my side. I took his hand and walked to the floating stairs that led to the ground floor. I was sure to walk slowly so he could take in all the house had to offer.

“Beautiful.” Roman said under his breath.

“Oh my gosh I know! Can you believe they built this out in the middle of nowhere in 1935? Can you imagine? And it hasn’t been cheap or easy keeping it perfect like this. A few years ago they had to rip half the house apart and reinforce it because the terraces were sagging. Uncle spent like 11 million dollars that time on engineers and architects and materials. He was not letting it go, and I don’t even think the whole house is worth that, but when he likes something, not hell nor high water can change his mind.”

“I wasn’t talking about the house, although good to know.” He smiled at me almost shyly.

“Are you trying to be adorable? You aren’t shy, and yet you’re acting almost sweet.”

“You’re so weird. You just spit out whatever you’re thinking don’t you?” Roman challenged me. Super cocky confident Roman returning.

“Omg you’re a peacock. Look at you preening about, puffing up your chest.”

“A peacock? Really? What does that make you?”

I had to think about that for a moment.”I’d have to go with a honey badger I think.” I said.

Roman choked on his water. I pat him on the back, giving him a moment to catch his breath. “Why is that such a shock?”

“No reason.” He tried to look innocent but I could see thru his shit. “Why did you choose it?”

“Well I’m resourceful, fearless, I don’t listen, I prefer my own company, no one can keep me contained, and snakes don’t intimidate me.”

“Ya?” Roman got very close to me and wrapped his arms around me looking down through long lashes. He oozed sex appeal and I could see how all the girls fell all over him.

I reached up and booped his nose. “Boop.” I giggled hysterically at his facial expression.

“What was that?” He asked confusedly.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. No one has ever booped you in the nose? That’s crazy! You have the best looking nose I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ve never gotten that one.”

“Well that’s cuz most women are probably trying to be sexy and mysterious with you. theyre not being themselves. Boop. Ok last one. Sorry. I barely know you, I can’t go booping you all over the place on our first date, you’re a nice Christian boy...” I said sarcastically. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him along the way. “We are almost there and it’s getting dark. We don’t wanna get eaten out here or have to kill something.”

i looked back and Roman was genuinely smiling. I felt warm all over, I looked t our hands intertwined and was puzzled with the feeeling i felt. i looked back at Roman and he was looking at our hands too...

We walked along in happy silence until we reached the rocks across the lake and waterfalls from the house. I was wearing Converse, but his dress shoes were proving to be less than nature friendly. We finally got up the slick stairs cut into the stone to reach the sitting area, after a lot of effort and laughs. They were the worst shoes for this environment ever.

Upon seeing the house, Roman audibly gasped. He took a few steps ahead and I just admired his profile and form. He really was beautiful. I knew he was going to kiss me before the night was thru. I knew better than to trust this boy, and I knew this was really stupid and I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was completely enthralled and was going to see it through. I didnt half ass anything, and i wasnt going to start with him.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Roman said playfully.

My eyes flashed at him trying to tell me what to do. I lowered my head and looked up at him thru my lashes with a sneer.

“Hey hold on, that’s my trick! We can’t BOTH have intense sexy stares.” he walked over and casually grabbed me around the waist.

“Good thing mine is just evil then.” I said in my best creepy witch voice.

He burst out laughing, eyes shining. It was a genuine laugh. I could tell by the way he instantly tried to control it, that it didn’t happen often.He tried to be so intimidating and serious, but there was a warmth to him, just under the surface.

“You’re a nerd.” He said quietly.

Oh boy here we go. He’s gonna try this again. My mind was running 1000 miles a minute as I tried to decide whether I was going to let this happen, when all of a sudden it was too late. His lips were on me as he pulled me into a deep embrace. If I was the type to get caught up in a moment, this would be that moment. He smelled amazing, and tasted so sweet. I felt gum in his mouth with my tongue and I snatched it. I pulled away victorious and mock screamed like a roaring crowd, jogging in a circle arms raised.

“You did not just steal my gum.” He beamed at me, chasing me and catching me in his arms before slipping and pulling me down on top of him, wincing at the impact.

i hovered over him laughing hysterically. “grace and beauty,” i teased. “ No gum is safe when I’m around.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him to his feet and then back to the stairs. “Time to go on the date I have planned for us.”

His eyebrows shot up and he looked genuinely shocked. “You planned out a date?”

“I did. And I have a feeling, you’re going to love it giiiirrrlll!” We both were giggling like school kids as we made our way back to the house.

I looked up to see my Uncle watching us from his terrace, a worried look on his face. That was kind of odd, but this was Roman Godfrey for chrissake.

I obnoxiously kissed my hand with a big “muah!” And threw it at my uncle who ducked like he was really avoiding getting hit.

“You nearly got me that time.” He yelled down to me.

I laughed and waved goodbye as we walked around the house to Romans Mercedes G wagon.

“Do you know why this suv is so expensive?” I asked him.

“It’s a Mercedes.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Although that’s part of it, these are built by hand and take over 40 hours buy two master craftsman to build. They have all the top-of-the-line materials used as well as three locking differentials. It’s the only one in its class with that so it’s superior for off-road Ing especially with the all wheel drive. Add that with superior safety and brand reliability and you have a very expensive, amazing machine. And since you of course have the AMG, you have to add two more craftsman to its build to hand build its engine that’s a mechanical marvel in itself.”

“You know more about my car than me. “ he laughed.

“It’s no big deal, I just never forget something once I’ve read it.”

“Never? I understand your ironic name now”

“Nope. It’s a blessing and a curse. I get it from my Uncle I guess.”

“That’s impressive.” He said sincerely. “I better never lie to you.”

I looked at him and our eyes locked. We stood there eyes locked on one another, neither of us wanting to be the first to look away. A smile crept across his face and i did an exaggerated silly wink.

“You are full of surprises Ms. Letha... what is your last name? Same as your Uncle?

“Nope. My last name is Dahl although I’d love to change it. Not a fan of my father.

“Oh? Family drama Letha Dahl?’

“You have no idea.” I winked and got in the passenger side before he could reach the door and open it for me. I watched him walk around to the drivers seat and stop to read a message and reply. He scanned thru his phone and slipped it in his pocket. He climbed in and pushed the button to start the car. I went to the navigation and entered the address of our destination and pressed start.

I looked out the window analyzing my thoughts and emotions with scientific precision, first identifying the particular emotions and then assessing where there root was, before filing them away as solved. This was how I regulated thoughts and feelings, so they never got the best of me but this time there were emotions, I had no name for and there was nothing logical about them. I’d dated and even had boyfriends, but I’d never been this absolutely enamored by a man. i felt .... God, what was it?

Roman Godfrey was way cooler than me, but I was smarter, but for the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure if that was an advantage. I had never let emotion take the wheel, but i almost wanted to. I wanted to be lost in this tragic gorgeous boy.

#billy skarsgard #bill skarsgard #bill istvan günther skarsgård #roman godfrey #hemlock grove #imagine #fanfic #meetingroman100 #my writing

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brutcllysoft · 3 years

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post-release party ft. @becamedcath

setting: andy’s apartment, july 2020

ROWAN

Rowan can’t help but feel like she’s entered into some kind of manic episode. After her dramatic exit from the party, she’d asked her driver to drop her off back at her apartment. Once inside she kicked her heels off and practically beelined for her shower in an attempt to scrub the night off of her. In all honesty, she’s not sure how long she stays in there -- only getting out when the mixture of the cooled down water and Scout whining outside of the bathroom coax her into it. She checks her phone to see a plethora of texts and missed calls from Tyson and Reina, guilt settling in that she’d managed to worry her mother by disappearing again and she finds the energy to call her. It lasts less than thirty seconds, just long enough for her to apologize and assure Reina that she is home, safe and sound and that she doesn’t need her to come over. She doesn’t bother replying to Tyson, unsure of what she would even say to him and uninterested in entertaining the fight that it is sure to start. Instead, she turns her phone off and spends the next few hours curled up on her couch with Scout lounging in her lap. The letter Andy gave her is sitting on the coffee table practically begging her to read it and eventually -- she does. It’s embarrassing how her hands shake as she rips the creased envelope open and unfolds the paper, trying to brace herself for the worst case scenario though she finds it difficult to pinpoint one worst case. She’s already imagined so many different things that could be in the letter, she hardly knows where to start.

She reads it four times just to make sure she’s read it all correctly. Out of all the different letters she’d written in her own mind over the last half a year, none of them had been like this. She doesn’t know how she is supposed to react to this. She’d spent all this time preparing for some sort of pity note where he owned up to being a piece of shit before ultimately apologizing for using her all that time -- for indulging in the fact that she was just there and clearly head over heels for him and that made her an easy target for a warm body to lay beside when he felt he needed it. She’d been prepared for that. Had practically planned out her next spiral for it -- she’d lock herself away in her house in the mountains for a few days, burn the thing in the fire pit out back and then come back to Nashville and put on a happy face and go back to life as normal. What she wasn’t prepared for, though, was something this genuine -- an apology and a declaration of love where he talks about wanting to do better, wanting to be better, to do things right. She has no idea how to react to that.

It doesn’t occur to her that she doesn’t have his phone number anymore until her phone is powered back on, and so she does the next best thing and calls Chris who, despite all of his charm, can’t figure out how to open his contact list without hanging up the phone. Instead he rattles off an address for her, and she figures that’s as good as she’s going to get and before she has a chance to talk herself out of it, she’s climbing into her rarely driven car and following the directions from the navigation system. Her heart feels like it’s in her throat the whole way, and she has no idea what she’s going to say when she gets there, or if he’ll even be home at all. By now it’s after three in the morning -- Rowan has seen Andy party far later into the night on too many occasions to count, but considering his recent dip into sobriety, she has no idea if he would have stayed out so late. Besides, she’s banging on his door before she has time to fully contemplate what all of this means. She’s only vaguely aware of how insane she must look to his neighbors right now -- hair still damp from her shower, clad in her pajamas and banging on his door in the middle of the night. She’s lucky no one has called the cops. When he answers, Rowan barely gives him a chance to fully open the door before she’s holding the letter up. “Did you mean this?” Obviously he’d told her earlier in the night that it had been genuine, but she can’t help but ask again, her insecurities are so deeply rooted inside of her that if she doesn’t ask now, she’s never going to be able to let it go.

ANDY

He’s left winded after his backstage conversation with Rowan. Andy can hardly get a deep breath in while he does his due diligence, saying hello to a few people, thanking others — He barely remembers a conversation with Greg Sullivan as thoughts of Rowan flow through on a steady rotation, and the smell of whiskey fills his nose. Hellos and goodbyes come as quickly — The party goes on without him now that he’s off stage, and within two hours he’s telling Chris he’s going to head home. His manager, thankfully, doesn’t question it. Sobriety alone has been enough of a struggle, anyone can pick up on the way Andy’s eyed the open bar before taking a shaky breath each time he passes by — So there aren't many questions when he slips out the back exit. Home is a sanctuary, a sensation he’s not used to. His old house was closer to a venue than a home, serving as the place for the after party rather than somewhere to retreat to. His new place — A spacious, industrial style loft in a quiet neighborhood — is the only place he wants to be, wrapped in the comfort of his bed. So, he does just that. After a shower to wash away the sweat and the smell of smoke and booze and faint hint of Rowan’s perfume, the night catches up with him. He does his best to push thoughts of the party from his mind, to let himself focus on all the good things going on in his life. Between each thing he lists is her name, the look on her face, the thought of Rowan hanging off her boyfriend’s arm.

It’s not often that exhaustion takes him easily, though when it does, he eventually ends up in a half awake daze, tossing and turning. Tonight is no different, sleepy thoughts of Rowan find him — Dreams of all the times he’s left her sleeping alone, all the things he wished he had said, his own made up scenarios of her reading the letter or tossing it out without a second thought. He’s pulled back to reality by the sound of someone banging on his door, stirring him awake. Bleary eyes glance at his phone to see 3:23 AM. Reluctantly, he pulls himself from bed — Noodles hissing at him before running away, annoyed to have his 16 hours of sleep disturbed. His hands rub the sleep from his eyes as he makes his way to the front door, hair sticking up everywhere, multiple yawns passing his lips. He’s half expecting to find Sid hammered and leaning against the doorway, mumbling to himself about music industry conspiracies. Instead, he’s met with Rowan standing on his doorstep, making demands with the letter in her hands. Had he not been so taken aback, he’d be happy to see that she’s read it. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust, his brain to focus on the fact that he isnt hallucinating. Instead of stating the obvious— What are you doing here? How did you get my address? Since when do you drive? — Andy answers her. “Every word.” He answers softly, not letting himself look away. He opens the door fully, stepping out of the way. “My neighbors are old and nosy.” Andy states simply, before adding: “If you’re gonna yell at me again, might as well do it inside.” He’s trying to ignore the knots in his stomach, his heart slamming against his chest. There’s no liquid courage in this, no boost from a line — Only the two of them, alone, in the middle of the night. This is what he wanted, isn’t it? Maybe not this setting — But to get this moment of closure, to try and give her some kind of peace of mind, somehow convey the truth to her. After the album release party, Andy’s not sure what to do next when it comes to Rowan Fisher.

ROWAN

Her heart has been beating so fast and loud in her ears that Rowan’s sure she can’t focus on anything else -- until Andy is in front of her and then it seems to quiet down instantaneously. Between the messy mop on top of his head and the way he has to blink several times before his eyes really focus on her, it’s very clear that she has woken him up. There’s a vague feeling of guilt that comes with the realization and she can’t feel like she’s crashing his party for the second time tonight -- she’d already ruined his evening causing a scene at what should be the happiest night of his year, and now she can’t even let him get a good night’s sleep. But there had been no chance that this could wait until the morning. She’d read the letter and it had only left her with a head full of confusing thoughts and a chest full of confusing feelings and an overwhelming desire to just be close to him and try and figure this out. Even if figuring it out means that they talk it through and never see each other outside of label events again and they find some sort of closure. It leaves a sinking feeling in her stomach and it’s become glaringly obvious over the last few days just how not over him she really is, despite what she has claimed for the better part of the last year. However, she doesn’t have long to dwell on that before Andy’s moving to let her in.

It feels weird to be inside Andy’s home right now. Of course she’d been in his old apartment more times than she can count, and she’d seen his bedroom at Christopher’s house, but this is different --- it’s nicer. Cleaner. Feels more like a home rather than just somewhere to sleep off hangovers before going for round two when he managed to roll out of bed. “I’m not here to yell at you,” she frowns, that guilt from earlier making a reappearance. “I’m sorry about that -- I shouldn’t have…” but the apology dies on her tongue before she can even really get it out. She doesn’t know what she’s apologizing for, really. Instead she redirects, the letter clutched between both her hands tightly as if it’s going to disappear if she lets it go and she’ll be left here looking like an idiot. “I didn’t read it when you sent it because I didn’t know what it was gonna say and I didn’t want to get my heart broken all over again. I still don’t.” It’s hard to picture this going any way other than an inevitable heartbreak, though, and the urge to turn on her heel and run out again begins to bubble in the pit of her stomach. “I love you, Andy, but I can’t -- I can’t do this again if I’m gonna keep being your second choice. It’s not fair to me.” The words are out before she’s had a chance to think about the repercussions of them, but it’s too late to take them back now.

ANDY

He’s convinced this is all one fucked up dream — One that started at the party and is continuing now, with Rowan now standing in his front room. Andy hasn’t seen Rowan in over six months, and now, twice in one night. There’s something exciting about having her here, a part of him wanting to show her that he’s actually making progress. A hand rubs at the back of his neck, the fact that he’d only just woke up being the only thing keeping him from freaking out over the fact that she is here. “You don’t have to apologize.” Andy speaks softly, pushing his hair off his forehead. “If it didn’t happen then, it would’a happened somewhere else.” It’s the truth — any reunion between them was bound to mirror earlier that night, despite any hopes he had. The thought doesn’t last long, once his eyes drift back to the letter in her hands. Andy had imagined this conversation a thousand times over, but it never included Rowan showing up at his door in the middle of the night. He stays quiet as she speaks, trying to ignore the way his heart skips at the words — “You love me?” Three words slip past his lips before he can stop himself, having assumed the only feeling she held for him being something between hate and resentment. He can practically hear his therapist’s voice now, telling him this is what he’d been hoping for. There was no point in trying to say anything to her at the party, but now — Maybe they’ll have a chance for closure, a honest conversation, something that’ll help even if he never sees her again. “No, it’s not.” He agrees, a frown of his own at his lips. “I told you, you’re the only thing that ever mattered to me. I just — I did a real shit job showing it.” It’s an oversimplified version of their history, but the feeling of his heart slamming against his chest isn’t making it easy to get the words out.

“I meant it. Every word of it.” He nods to the letter in her hands, feeling exposed but forcing himself to keep going. “I love you. I let myself get in the way of it. I can’t undo any of it, but — Fuck, man.” He pauses, guilt over the last few years threatening to drown him. “I’m sorry. I know it probably doesn’t mean much to you now, but I am.” This is all foreign territory, easier written down on notebook paper instead of said face to face. “I don’t know what to uh, do from here — But I wanted to make sure you at least knew that.”

ROWAN

Rowan doesn’t acknowledge when he tells her she doesn’t have to apologize. She knows that she doesn’t -- her thoughts and feelings are justified after years of the games they’ve played with each other, but she still can’t help but feel bad that she’d chosen tonight of all nights to bring it all to the surface. It’s supposed to be a celebration for him and she hadn’t gone there with plans of starting something -- though she can’t deny a selfish, vindictive part of her had brought Tyson for no reason other than to try and prove she had moved on -- but it had all been so overwhelming she hadn’t been able to stop herself. The surprise in Andy’s voice has her stopping in her tracks, brows furrowing at his question. You love me? Her head tilts with confusion because she has no idea how he couldn’t have known. It only occurs to her then that she’s never actually told him before. “I -- Yeah. Of course I do. I thought you knew.” It had seemed so obvious to her all of those years, why else would she have kept coming back time after time? Why else would she have tried so hard? When Andy tells her he loves her too she doesn’t quite know how to react to it. She feels like she’s spent so many years wanting to hear him say these things to her, and now that he finally is… she can’t help but be on guard about it all. So she simply nods, her lips pursing together momentarily. “I thought you hated me.” The admission comes out quieter than she would like it to, having envisioned this conversation as something far more volatile in her head a million times but they seem to have moved past that phase and into something softer, something more vulnerable. “That was the only way I could make any of the last few years make sense. That I was just… Convenient.” Her stomach twists uncomfortably as she speaks, knowing that it may not be what Andy wants to hear but it’s what she needs to say.

#v: nashville.#nash: andy.

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bma-2020 · 7 years

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W/ONDERLAN/U/NDERLAND DIVERGENCY

Now much of this divergency stems from varying factors, the main being: A: while the first movie had a good storyline, it didn’t delve as deep as it could have. B: obviously, certain actors have done some things so for my editing capabilities, i had to change his fc. C: I’m someone who very much likes to take a base and work beyond what i know the company would ever give, which is why i take the base of burtonverse and the game, as well as companion guide, and move beyond that. D: My blog is very much based in a verse where a spell happened and all the animals are no longer animals, which screws with people. and E: because ttlg was a hot mess on the major scale and as someone who half finished her own sequel to the first movie, barely acknowledge ttlg’s existence beyond regular whining.

So in the essence of the changes i’ve taken, both for my blogs purpose to keep the b/urtonverse name… possible, but also for my own safety since i’ve dealt with people coming at me for something that isnt my fault, isn’t related, or otherwise just shows that theres a lot of uneducated adolescents on this website that actually believe telling people to kill themselves either for differing opinions or lack of knowledge on a topic or person, i’m severely trying to avoid dealing with those people. So this is a wild mesh of thoughts not put together anywhere nearly as well as it could be, but im doing my best with my limited amount of free time and non chemical thought process as i am capable.

now nobody cares abt that stuff so lets get into the changes, rewrites, and divergency, shall we?

Now in my Underland (Which I know is different from Wo/nderland, but i do still think having it not be called w/onderland was a stupid idea therefore my calling it wonderland is both shade and because i type it quicker) its been several years since Alice’s visit (probably a lot less for her, if even a year, Gina had this cool time post for s/yfy alice that i keep alive every few months by regularly reblogging it so I’ll probably go find that and bring it back again later. ) and there’s been a magical outbreak– things creeping up which had long been deceased, spells cast to make nearly all the animals humanoid (the horses werent lucky enough, and it didn’t effect ches/hire because chesh already had a human form, and the capability to transform into whatever he pleased to a point), and it screws with a lot of minds for awhile, but something about being humanoid felt familiar to Mally.

Now, something which they never fully explained was how everyone knew each other. The game hints at them all knowing each other for awhile, many factors hint at St/ayne being a heavy influencer in the game, and likely having done something to the Queens relationship ( which, of course, was all dropped in the sequel because god forbid they give crispin more money), and i refuse to believe what ttlg gave us was anything close to what it actually was (especially with the lack of stay/ne, who played such a major role in the first movie that it makes no sense for him not to be in their past)

this is gonna be long, and be depth for a lot of characters. A good deal of Stay/ne by my opinions and headcanons can be read on my sta/yne sideblog (illosovic) in his about, and that blog is mostly just me whining abt ttlg but whatever. Most else can be read here, but i will touch on st/ayne some here, too.

TEA TRIO

Obviously the part most people care about, and with the face i actually chose for S/tayne, Sebby is not only one of the better actors to play a hatter imo (i legitimately only watched ouat for him ngl) even though he has done it before, i do feel like in the version i adapted from b/urtons and the hatter we had from b/urton anyways, seb could pull off the personality fluctuations as well as the insanity best. I was honestly torn on the alternate for a long time because i didnt want to use someone who’s played a hatter before, but all in all, who better to play a hatter than someone who has played a hatter and absolutely killed it.

anyways, the actual important part of this is, Everything ttlg had regarding mally in the past, that shiz aint real here. M/allymkun was born shortly before the R/ed Queen took over W/onderland, after her biological father was framed as a war criminal, her mother turned her into a mouse, and abandoned her in a clearing the forest by Witzend, and after the King and Queen already died, and Mi/rana was set to take over. I actually see it as Mirana hadn’t been Queen for that long before I/racebeth took the crown, because the longer M/irana was Queen, the less sense the story makes in my opinion, which I will get into.

Thackery is actually who found Mally, and that was after the H/ightopp residence had been burned down. Mally never learned about Hatter’s former name, at least not until C/heshire told her, because she never knew him as anything but Hatter.

Whilst out looking for something that could be of help to them (Years before the Oraculum was found), Thackery came across a tiny thing left alone beneath a large leaf. She was extremely tiny, frail, didn’t seem like she’d survive long. Neither of them were sure of her species yet, but Hatter took to taking care of her. She was raised by the Hatter and the Hare, and much of who she is comes from the two of them.

As with the fact she didn’t know either Queen, nor Sta/yne prior to Irace/beth’s takeover, Mallymkun never really came to know what the real personality of any of them was. She knew Ira/cebeth was evil, St/ayne was her lapdog, and M/irana was the truest good, because that is what Hatter told her. Hatter raised her, Hatter trained her, and the main reason Mally knew Miran/a could have the potential of acting just as bad as her sister was because she saw a moment in which Mira/na went dark. But she believed Mir/ana had to be the better ruler, because Hatter said so!

Each held their own capabilities, T/hackery with his minor Telekinesis (often used only with teacups, but occasionally bolders as well.), Hatter with his ability to conjoin objects in his mind, as long as they were able to fit together (worked brilliantly with creating delicacies in food, something both he and Th/ackery could do) but Mally wasn’t like that. She had none of the gifts they possessed, which led to Hatter teaching her much more fighting techniques, Thackery as well, until she had to start teaching herself the rest. Her physical capabilities go far beyond that of most of those in Won/derland, in spite of her small size. (only grew stronger when she got bigger.

Mally had once gone undercover in the Red Kingdom, which she doesn’t entirely remember. An accidental mishap caused her to turn humanoid then, and St/ayne quickly figured out who she was– hard not to when she looked so much like her mother. He’d taken to manipulating her, which she fell for for a time, even developing a slight crush on St/ayne himself, though she saw his true nature not long after, and more of a fear grew from that.

C/HESHIRE CAT

There actually aren’t many changes to the C/heshire Cat, or many additions I’ve made personally (my friends who write him do a far more beautiful job of that.) I do include the reference in the book, however, where The Du/chess views the Che/shire Cat as her pet. Whilst C/hesh doesn’t see himself as her pet, he does take advantage of her spoiling of him. C/heshire also wasn’t exactly effected by the spell, since he already could transform into a humanoid form, as well as copy others.

THE RE/D KNAVE

Il/osovic S/tayne, has the most changes I’ve made next to mally. Mostly due to the fact that his character, in my opinion, was extremely underused. With all the hints and inferences made for his character, they didn’t really deliver. He could easily have been the real main villain, much of what happened could easily have been caused by him, much of which I have here, though I do have to make edits to that.

Mainly, I view Sta/yne as the whistleblower. he purposely ensured the rift already forming between the siblings grew worse, he set them up against each other, he was behind every bit of the plot, or encouraged it forward, just to ensure he had a shot at whichever queen became superior. He lost with M/irana, he wasn’t going to lose with Irace/beth. He couldn’t stand being around Ir/acebeth, but like hell was he gonna let her know that. He’d flirt, he’d manipulate, and he’d slyly degrade her until she felt like she needed him. He emotionally manipulated her to the point he was in control, and he wasn’t planning on letting that control slide.

He was also, at one point, friends with Hatter. St/ayne was a poor boy growing up, but Ta/rrant hardly judged him, but as St/ayne grew bigger, jealousy over how his sister was treated with love, whilst his mother harmed him, his brother was popular and he was ignored, and his growing desire to gain so much power, nobody could hurt him again, that forged a rift in their friendship. By the time they were adults, and Sta/yne already hurt M/irana, he encouraged the destruction of Hatter’s village and family, shattering whatever bond they formed as kids, as well as ensuring Hatter knew what pain was. Something, he felt, he did not know.

WHI/TE RABBIT

Whi/te Rabbit, by contrast, is starkly different. M/cTwisp is an agent of Time, fulfilling his role as the guide to Alice, and M/cTwisp is likely older than most others– though, in some situations, he hardly realizes it himself. His only responsibility is to guide Alice to her destiny, each time the clock turns. Sometimes, when a new Alice is born, he forgets himself, practically reborn in the moment. He’s a stopwatch given to him by Time itself, allowing M/cTwisp to temporarily freeze Time in a moment to accomplish a task, and the time traversement of Wonderland’s portals through other realms (many of which transfere through M/cTwisps own halls), Time never passes for M/cTwisp. Not in the sense it does for others. Whilst months would pass for a normal creature who left Wonderland and returned a week later, hardly a day would pass for M/cTwisp. Time always occurs as a constant for him, no matter how it occurs for others. He is also capable of traversing to exact points in Upperland’s time should he need to.

MOCK TURTLE

An extremely apathetic man, the Mock Turtle was never entirely a turtle, and never entirely anything else. He longed for the days he was in the sea, until he was cursed to live between lands. A ‘teacher’ in a way, though his version of school far different than others are accustomed to. He ‘taught’ the Queens, but eventually was sent off back to the sea by the King for disrespecting M/irana during a lecture, mostly for stating she hadn’t the heart to be a Queen, she barely had the heart to swim in the sea. He had been particularly kind to Ira/cebeth, however.

THE CATERPILLAR

A//bsolem, the wise. Many view him as the all knowing in Wonderland, yet many still only hear him talk in riddles and puzzles. Mallymkun really hates the way he talks, tbh. She hates how he makes a point to make it so you have to figure something out on your own. But, she likes how his words can be taken wrong and prove her point, even if her point is actually wrong.

DODO BIRD

Uilleam held full belief in Alice, and, after narrowly escaping the Jub Jub bird, would later return to his post as a mentor in the W/hite Queen’s court. A nobleman, he’s seen as wise, often kind, though he holds the mentality that nobody should have to lose for one to win– something that kept him from fighting in the war at the start. He is extremely good with kids, but many adults tend to dislike him, except when he takes their side. In certain situations, however, he will state that there needs to be a winner, which is what led to him finally taking part in the resistance, and helping to take the R/ed Queen down.

BAYARD

The most loyal of beings, Ba/yard was forced to serve the R/ed Queen for a great deal of time, but only so he could protect his wife and pups. M/allymkun used him as a sort of horse due to her size at the time, and he hadn’t minded. Often, he comes over to Mally, acting much like a father figure to her, as he does on occasion with Alice. Ba/yard cares far more for people than he likely should, but would risk anyone else for the safety of his kids and wife, whom he holds in the highest of regards.

THE QUEENS

The tart thing was the stupidest thing i’ve ever seen, i’m just pointing that out right now. I believe there was a rift long before any incident. I/racebeth’s accident wasn’t M/irana’s fault, and M/irana never meant to be malicious to her sister. Ira/cebeth was spoiled when she was young, but when M/irana was born, most of her parents attention went to her– and I/racebeth was left mostly to her tutors, trying to raise her to being a good queen.

S/tayne was initially attracted to M/irana, though he played nice with both princesses. When they were younger, S/tayne had started courting M/irana– though, it was kept private, the lowly stable boy (though, eventually gaining a promotion to a knight, with the held of M/irana) being considered too lowly for a princess. Though, S/tayne often had a wandering eye, and betrayed M/irana– which led to her lashing out on him, and causing his loss of an eye.

He kept his position, having glamored his way into the hearts of the princesses parents (a gift which ran in his family– he could bewitch and charm others into falling in a form of love with him, trick them into adoring him, manipulate to new bounds.) M/irana never trusted him again. The eye was ruled as an accident on assignment, and the rumors of Mi/rana’s mistreatment of a man she wasn’t officially with (S/tayne, spreading the rumor that a woman flirted with him, and whilst he hadn’t responded, the disastardly princess was so filled with jealously over not getting her way for once, she harmed him for it. ) grew, and he ensured I/racebeth would learn his version.

I/racebeth, already feeling emotional distraught from her parents, became an easier target for S/tayne. When their parents died ,and M/irana was labeled next in line, S/tayne took it as a chance to send Ir/acebeth into a fit of rage, and have her J/abberwocky attack the H/ightopp clan, taking the crown and becoming the Queen. He also whispered the rumors of infidelity of I/racebeth’s husband to her people, ensuring Ir/acebeth would hear of the faults. The Red K/ing’s demise being an aftereffect of St/ayne ensuring Ira/cebeth thought he cheated on her with M/irana, an ultimate crime, and S/tayne made sure he was there to pick up the pieces. His adoring of her keeping his place held high, and ensured he got his way.

ALICE

breathes in, breathes out, M/ALLYMKUN DOESNT HATE ALICE!!!! NOT IN THE JEALOUSY SENSE!!! In fact, Mally’s distaste for Alice goes far beyond the stupid jealousy people think it’s about. Because, don’t forget, when Hatter said Alice was the right Alice, her treatment of Alice instantly changed– she was nice to her, she answered her questions, it was when Hatter’s life was put at risk because of Alice that Mally treated her badly again.

In the sense of my blog (and, when Mally first unlocks her powers, mostly) Alice had finally come back. Hatter missed her, and she left without a second thought. Mally didn’t like how Hatter perked up at Alice’s return, she hated how he suddenly started caring more for her than his friends, in her sights.

She wasn’t jealous, Mally might have been in love with Tare, but she didn’t care if he didn’t fall in love with her. For flips sake, she stated directly that she thought he had a thing for M/irana, and seemed all dreamy about the idea. You know she was shipping whitehats.

But, Alice was just a child when Mally first saw her. Mally was training all her life to be a hero, she wanted to be the one to save Wonderland, then they found the o/raculum– and Alice was the labeled hero. Alice, upon returning, didn’t want to be the hero, and Mally hated that fact.

Mally was afraid, but she jumped at the chance to take Alice’s place as the hero. But she wasn’t allowed, she couldn’t save the world, that was Alice’s responsibility.

And Alice only killed one creature.

And she was the hero.

Mally trained all her life for that, and she was pushed aside for Alice. Mally had been with Hatter through her entire life, she’d seen him at his lowest (including a time he couldn’t control his own actions anymore, an older headcanon of mine where he had accidentally hurt her because of his swings, which is what caused him to become so guilt ridden, he started being able to more easily be pulled from that state of mind– he didn’t want to hurt his friends ever again.) M/allymkun loved Hatter through everything, she never left him, she never left her friends, she stayed with them and she did everything she could to save them.

But Alice was he hero.

And when Alice comes back again years later, and they’re faced against S/tayne again, Mally’s put in mortal danger.

But Hatter goes to Alice first.

not because he thinks she’s more important, Hatter weighed in the options, he thought Mally would be able to pull herself out of trouble, but Alice might not be able to. He went to Alice because he didn’t think she could save herself like Mally could. But that caused Mally to fall, and disappear for weeks while people thought she was dead. This is what broke the spell her mother placed on her, blocking her powers from being used, and keeping the rest of her family from being able to find her, but she was left abandoned, alone, and in pain, because Alice came first.

And Alice, thinking with her worlds point of view instead of theirs, thought Mally couldn’t have survived the fall. There wasn’t a way she could have lived from where she fell, and no way she could have gotten out of the water.

Mally thought they didn’t bother to look, but their search efforts were pointless.

She came back, she found out Alice said something, and she thinks her pain is Alice’s fault. If Alice wasn’t around, they could have found another way to defeat I/racebeth, they could have wom another way. Any Mally wouldn’t have had to experience pain.

Then there was the fact the marks of her father’s bloodline started appearing on her skin, marks remembered belonging to a clan that tried to destroy the royalty. Up until her father (whom nobody knows was her father), who fought for the King, was his greatest warrior, and was set to marry either M/irana or I/racebeth. He hadn’t, and her mother framed him to have killed the King and Queen. He disappeared, and the family was forever seen to be a collection of traitors.

Mally didn’t know any of that, she can’t even read to learn about further history beyond I/racebeth’s betrayal.

People treated her differently, and she could only hold Alice responsible for that.

Mally doesn’t hate Alice because she’s jealous of her and Hatter, she’s pissed off that Alice was (accidentally) the cause of her pain, and thinks that if Alice weren’t around, she wouldn’t have had to suffer at all.

Though, certain things started the second Mally became a humanoid– her eyes were different, but the resemblance to her mother was too strong to be ignored. It was pretty clear she was Feina’s daughter, especially to M/irana and I/racebeth– they had to see it, because they grew up with Feina, and spent a fair bit of time under her care.

THE D/UCHESS

The D/uchess was a childhood friend of the Princesses, thought she wasn’t a royal at the time. Her mother was the former Duchess, and her father had died at a young age, shortly after her younger brother, I/losovic was born. Their mother treated her and her brother with great care, but I/losovic was treated with terrors– often beaten, no matter what he did. This was due to the work their mother took up to keep them in position, even if they no longer were wealthy as they were. Allergies were formed which led to a great deal of violence on their mothers part, and I/losovic held the closest range to her.

Upon becoming a Duchess herself, she was always kind and well treated. C/heshire being a dear friend of hers, whom she considered her dear pet. Often she’d treat him to the greatest of delights.

However, her friendship with the Queens had shattered overtime, due to I/losovic ensuring she held some form of hardship– he tricked the siblings into believing her horrid and evil, trying to tear the titles from their hands and steal their father from their mother. The D/uchess was banished, once the R/ed Queen took control, though she never took full stride in it. The only one who knows her whereabouts is C/heshire.

MALLYS EXTENDED FAMILY

Her biological father, Vas Moraj. He is Gethris younger half brother, and is known to be the strongest, and most strange member of their family. The Moraj line was long known to be filled with traitors to the court, but Vas wanted to protect the royalty. He was the child of Fate, and though not exactly a deity himself, did possess far stronger powers than the rest of his family. He’d fallen in love with Feina in his youth, and had an affair with her,which led to Miseris and Mallymkun. He also raised her elder children, Seracien and Torielle, as his own. He wasn’t around when Mally and Mason were born, though, as Feina had trapped him in a pocket universe, to keep him out of her way.

Feina Laquer Morae, an extremely powerful sorceress. She was only around 20 or so years older than the Queens, and being Wonderlands slowed aging, appeared around their age most of her life. She trained Mirana briefly in magic arts, and always tried to encourage Iracebeth not to let go of her title, that she could be the greatest queen of all, so long as she didn’t take no for an answer. A creature of chaos, and an empath, Feina held the power to force horrid memories back on a person, to force emotions on someone through touch, and held telepathy and telekinesis, among other things. Her powers hadn’t transferred to Mallymkun nearly as much as her looks– out of all four of her children, Mallymkun held the greatest resemblance to her.

Miseris, or Mason, for short, was raised by his uncle (whom he believed to be his father), Gethris. He was raised with the impression that his cousins, Jynx and Hayze, were his sisters, but over time, as his powers over the mind increased, he came to learn the truth. Especially when he met his elder half siblings (half cousins), and Seracien told him the truth. The rest, Mason worked out for himself, and he knew two things for sure– he was going to be one of the strongest members of his family, and when Mallymkun grew her powers, their powers combined could make them deities.

Gethris horribly mistreated his own children, manipulating them into his own persnoal servants, and he hadn’t done much better with Miseris. Gethris partnered with Feina to destroy Vas, which feina agreed once she learned Vas was intending on denying the King’s wishes, so he could marry Feina instead of the princess. Gethris only got his hands on one of the twins, however, as Feina betrayed her half of the deal before he betrayed her. A spell was placed on Mallymkun, which kept her powers hidden away, her appearance altered into a mouse-like form, and her overall existence from Gethris knowledge or ability to find. As Gethris lost his powers centuries before, he planned on using Vas children to fulfill the prophecy– for their family to ascend– only he intended on taking Miseris and Mallymkun’s powers for himself, and destroy the rest of Wonderland.

When Gethris had gotten ahold of Mally, he tortured her in attempts to unlock all of her power. Miseris eventually let her out, and she ran off, Though, Gethris is always searching, and didn’t plan to stop.

TIME, SPACE, FATE (not pictured)

each their own being. Fate defines the future, Time controls itself, and Space alters and holds between each realm. Fate chose to enhance the Moraj family through leaving a piece of themself in Vas, and create the prophecy regarding Mallymkun and Miseris.

Time is seen more as a neutral character, caring about securing itself through the world, and keeping fate’s reign.

space is above itself, but fate decides the ultimate.

I do have a lot of other characters and info, but that can be saved for a …shorter post…

#this is... so long...#out.#➳ | about. | ᴰᵒᶰ'ᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᶤᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵃ ʳᵉᵃˢᵒᶰ #child abuse cw #manipulation cw

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leaughrilke · 8 years

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what was pregnancy/childbirth/going home for the first time like with finn vs. maia? how about what it was like to take stella home for the first time? how did each kid adjust to their new sibling(s) when maia/stella came home? i'm such a sucker for Brand New Baby headcancons lol

me, rubbing my hands together evilly bc my friend u dont understand, i have been waiting for a sucker just like u bc I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR BRAND NEW BABY HCS AS WELL, HERE ARE MINE FOR THE SUPERBABIES

so like the pregnancies were highly planned, no surprises or anything and results were waited on with equal excitement bc like???? holy shit theyre doing this???? and HOLY SHIT IT WORKED?????

but like……once the initial excitement died down a little, lena starts to worry a lot?? and i mean this is particular to finn, bc like with maia it was more?? ok i kind of know what im doing, but with finn she had no experience, nothing to go off of. like she can hardly remember her birth mother and lillian was terrible so like….its not as if she has any model for how to be a mother and she’s not sure she’s really thought this through. like she likes kids well enough?? thinks theyre cute and isnt uncomfortable around them, actually is quite good with them and babies love her almost as much as they love kara, but this will be different, this isnt just holding jess’s niece when they’re at the company picnic, this will be a baby that comes home with them, this will be their baby, their kid to screw up and that’s terrifying??? holy shit

meanwhile kara is like?? so excited oh my god. she’s so pumped and so loving and she feels like she’s overwhelmed in the best way, where her heart feels really full and she knows that when the baby gets here it’ll just spill over in the best way and she cant wait for it. and she fusses over lena, moves her schedule around specifically to allow her to drop by l-corp a couple times a day to bring lena lunch or a snack, and she’s like the ultimate partner u know like she keeps the fridge stocked with whatever lena’s craving, always goes to every doctor appointment and childbirth classes, never grumbles when lena wakes her up bc her back is aching or she’s starving all of a sudden or she can’t sleep and the baby is in a weird position. she puts together all the furniture for the nursery, is That expectant parent that spends a lot of time in the baby section of target, brings home probably more clothes than a single baby can wear. she’s so excited??? like……how to explain this hmmm… okay so we know how much kara loves her family, right?? bc she loves them a lot, she rlly does and its not at all that she wishes for biological family or something but theres like a certain…..pull?? i guess?? like this baby is equal parts her and lena, and she has this image in her head, like what if their baby looks like her or more like lena, what if their kid has her mother’s eyes or her father’s strong chin. like? she gets to see krypton live on, is what it boils down to. she gets to see her family and her community and her planet alive and well in the little heartbeat they hear, in the grainy image on the screen at the ultrasound

the pregnancy itself is actually rlly smooth?? and like, when lena’s not terrified, she rlly enjoys it and like knows how lucky she is, like her morning sickness is p tame and only lasts the first couple months. and like?? its not that she dislikes being pregnant or doesnt want the baby, she very much does, she already loves this little thing growing inside her so so much, just on the basis of it being a piece of kara, she’s just worried she’s not good enough, that she wont ever be able to be good enough to be this child’s mother. but she just tries not to think about whats going to happen at the end of this, focuses on the way her heart skips when she feels those first flutters of movement or the way the tension slips out of kara’s shoulders the moment she gets home, the moment she can hear their child’s heartbeat. they were never rlly an out on the town sort of couple, spent most nights tucked up at home, but now even more so bc lena gets tired at like eight at night, so most nights they’re on the couch or lying in bed, kara resting her head on lena’s lil bump, talking to the baby in her mother tongue, telling them all about this great world they’re going to get to see. when lena’s lil bump turns into a big bump, then its usually them cuddled up on the couch with lena leaning back against kara’s chest, head on her shoulder as she dozes and kara’s tracing out the kryptonian alphabet on lena’s belly and its warm and the cats are snoozing nearby and there’s a stack of baby clothes in the laundry basket on the floor and a half assembled rocking chair in the nursery and its just?? good????

overall its rlly good like there’s some bad moments, some breakdowns along the way. like it kind of scares lena a little how much she loves this little thing that?? doesnt?? even??? exist yet???? like she cant hold them, cant see them, but god, she already knows she’d do anything for them. and kara has a few moments where she breaks down as well, where she cant remember a kryptonian word or the details of something she thought she remembered are a little fuzzy and god, what if she cant?? what if she isnt able to pass along her history, her culture? what if she has this opportunity and she fails, again?

and they’re both so soft with each other, kara picks up on lena’s worry and lena picks up on kara’s and they try their best for each other, they do their best to help even when they’re struggling with their own things and lena tries to learn kryptonian and like….listen, she’s not great at it at first (particularly with pregnancy brain making everything a little fuzzy), but her accent isn’t terrible and she learns the basic vocabulary, enough so that she can confidently say she’ll be of some use in teaching their child to speak the language along with english. kara buys all the parenting books lena glances at, sits up at night with her to read them, finds a mothers day card even though it fucking january and tucks it into lena’s bag for her to find and tear up over, talks about how lucky their kiddo is that they’ll have lena as a mom as if its the most natural thing to say

towards the later part of lena’s pregnancy, when they’re getting closer to the due date and lena’s getting uncomfortably pregnant and nothing’s fitting very well, not even the maternity dresses that kara finally convinced her to buy around month seven, kara kind of becomes a worrywart. like she’s been v protective of lena the entire time but now?? anytime lena shifts or sighs or rubs her back, kara’s like WHAT IS IT, IS IT TIME, DO WE NEED TO GO and has like most of their stuff loaded up into the car, ready to go before lena’s has a chance to be like ……kara im ridiculously pregnant, im just uncomfortable, love its fine i promise

that said,, then she’s overdue and even more uncomfortable but the fear has set back in?? and she goes into labor p early in the morning, doesnt say anything abt it bc she doesnt want it to happen, not now, but kara seems to sense it, sticks a lot closer to lena than normal, even for overprotective post-due date. and then lena’s water breaks??? and she’s crying???? and kara’s like holy shit okay but they dont have time to rlly do anything to talk through it, barely have time to get to the hospital before lenas like……in Active Labor, like ready to push active labor and there’s no time to get an epidural, but luckily she doesnt rlly need one?? she’s in pain, but its not as bad as some things she’s endured, but she’s still crying, begging for this baby to stay put, dont move, i’m not ready and kara’s crying bc she’s split between being heartbroken for her wife and being so so excited to her their child

and then finn’s there, crying loud enough to be heard over lena’s sobbing, kara’s assurances and kara looks at him and is so in love??? she’s so in love, he’s so beautiful, she tells lena as much as she gets to cut the cord and some little part of her knits back together when she helps lay finn on lena’s chest, watches as lena’s eyes clear, brows relax, watches as that same love kara feels dawns in lena’s eyes and its so much??? its too much, but its so good????

and everything is still so good for a while!!!!! like the few days in the hospital, they’re just kind of in a blissed out stage where nothing is fazing them like......family comes to visit, theres four emails from snapper sitting in kara’s inbox, clark comes by and is visibly uncomfortable but they literally dont give two shits like look at this thing we made!!!!!!! look at him, he’s beautiful and he’s got all ten fingers and all ten toes and look, he looks bald but he’s just rlly blond!!!!!!! like.........they are just so in love???

but then they go home and its different bc there isnt anyone to help them and for kara its like....idk its sort of like she’s super duper aware of her powers when she’s out in the world, like hyperaware and vigilant, but she’s used to being able to relax a little at home?? and now there’s this tiny fragile nonpowered as far as they know baby that is depending solely on her and lena for everything and suddenly she’s like shit i’m going to hurt him oh my god i Did Not think this through and then she like refuses to hold finn except under very specific conditions like sitting down, pillow in her lap to support him from below and lena’s a bit too wrapped up in finn to rlly like register this fact, a little too tired and sore and in love to do much more than notice her wife’s hesitance

and its not as if kara’s like......//avoiding anything to do with finn. like she’s still v much in love and wants to be around him, she just doesnt trust herself?? so she’ll still get up when finn’s crying at night, sits up with lena when she nurses him, gets lena whatever she needs during the day and overall does her absolute best

lena brings it up to alex finally, one night when she and maggie come over to coo over finn and kara’s run out to pick up dinner. lena and alex have grown a lot closer since lena started hanging out with the superfriends, alex sort of spotting that quiet sadness within a few minutes of having an actual conversation with lena and subconsciously sorting her into the same category of annoying psuedo-sibling that she had winn. and by this point?? alex is basically as much a big sister to lena as she is to kara, defends her as vehemently as she does kara. so lena goes to her with this, asks if kara’s said anything about not feeling comfortable or being afraid and alex is like ?? no, whats going on and then lena tells her everything she’s noticed, tells her the guilt she feels for not knowing how to help but she’s exhausted, like that new parent bone deep exhausted

so alex corners kara just a little, calls her down to the deo for a fake emergency and then locks them into one of the training rooms bc she knows kara, knows she wont admit to anything when lena’s around, knows that she’ll keep trying to uphold this facade that she’s doing okay bc she doesnt want to stress her wife out. and karas been sitting with this feeling for nearly two weeks?? basically since they went home, so there’s not much prodding alex has to do to get it out of her bc she’s exhausted too, is crying within a few minutes of talking tbh

alex hugs her for a long time, until she stops crying eventually and is like?? i dont have easy answers for you and i wish i did, but kara, you’re not going to hurt him and she keeps repeating it, keeps telling kara that she knows her probably better than anyone and she knows that she’s never going to do anything to hurt the people she cares about and kara’s thinking about red k and alex knows it so she just tightens her hold on kara’s shoulders and leans down a little to catch her eye and she’s like kara, this is your son and its like oh. my son. i have a son. and suddenly kara’s crying again but more from good emotion?? like i have a child and i haven’t been holding him 24/7???? I GOTTA GO ALEX

so kara goes home and lena’s just getting up to get finn bc he’s starting to fuss a little and kara just gently pushes her back into bed and goes to get finn, picks him up and feels something settle when he quiets, looks up at her with big blue eyes that aren’t her color, not exactly, is something closer to her mother’s. finn settles against her, one of his little hands sort of grasping at the fabric of her shirt, holding on and kara’s so??? overwhelmed??? and she promises him that she’ll be the best she can be for him, promises that she’ll never let harm come to him, that she’s going to keep him so safe and at some point she switches from english to kryptonian (kryptonese??), starts promising all sorts of things, starts promising that he’ll never be alone, that he’ll never be scared and lost and left on his own in a strange place, that she’ll never send him away, not without lena, not without her

lena hears it over the baby monitor but doesnt say anything when kara comes back into the room, having lulled finn back to sleep with a lullaby her mother used to sing to her. she just pulls kara closer and they doze like that for a while and everything feels calm, settled for once

and then !!!!! they’re just deliriously happy like finn is a rlly easy baby, doesnt fuss a lot, basically sleeps through the night from the beginning and is essentially the Perfect Newborn. like they’re just?? so? ?? happy ????? like lena has what is essentially unlimited maternity leave considering she can conduct a fair amount of work from home and catco gives rlly generous leave for all new parents so kara’s able to stay home for a long time, so they get to just sort of live in this wonderful little bubble for basically the first 4-5 months of his life and even after they sort of start transitioning back to work, its still rlly great??

like they do the mommy and me yoga and switch off weekends, kara takes him to swim lessons, they do walks in the park when it starts getting warmer out and like.......love showing finn off. like he’s adorable and chubby and is rlly calm and smiley and like?? they’re so proud of him, they love him so much oh my god

UNDER THE CUT bc i always keep crying, im such a sucker for new babies

everything is a little harder with maia?? like it takes a little longer for it to work and when it does its immediately a completely different experience. later on theyll think its probably bc maia manifests her powers a lot earlier, so maybe that’s what it was?? like she’s drawing more nutrients and stuff so that’s why lena’s so exhausted through the pregnancy but basically lena’s essentially bedridden for the first four and a half months with maia, either napping or feeling too nauseous to do anything. once she hits five months, things get a little easier?? she’s still v tired a lot, but they think that that might just be bc they’ve got more to juggle, like she’s keeping up with a toddler and l-corp is acquiring a new subsidiary halfway across the world that she’s having to oversee from national city

kara worries abt her a lot in a different way from how she worried during finn’s pregnancy?? like this pregnancy takes a bit more of a physical toll and there’s a few complications, like lena develops gestational hypertension (her blood pressure, while achingly normal usually, stays high from the beginning) and her ankles just fuckn disappear and she just feels Bad through most of the pregnancy even though there isnt that emotional angst like there was with finn. so bc of that, kara sticks p close through the whole pregnancy, is a lot less willing to take assignments that keep her away from home v long, gets v efficient when it comes to supergirl duties

but like?? stress aside, its a rlly cool experience for them bc finn’s around two and understands enough that he points to lena’s belly and says baby, likes to hug and kiss her tummy and its the Cutest thing in the world, like they have so many pics of finn being so sweet and like reading one of his picture books to lena’s belly. and like?? lena gets to enjoys the pregnancy more bc she’s not as scared, not as petrified that she’s going to fuck up somehow, now that she kind of knows what she’s doing, now that she has a shining, grinning little boy that is like proof that she’s sort of good at this motherhood thing

so u know how lena’s blood pressure is high through the whole pregnancy?? well. that’s not a throwaway fact pals. she develops preeclampsia and gets induced nearly three weeks before her due date and like in the lead up to that, it’s rlly chaotic and scary like lena gets a migraine (and she usually gets those?? like that’s not uncommon but she didnt have any during her pregnancy with finn and she hasnt had any leading up to this one with maia) and goes to sleep it off and wakes up short of breath and like?? it just feels wrong, something feels off and calls kara at work and is like something’s not right and kara just flat out panics, drops all her shit and races home and lena’s kind of out of it and its terrifying?? its fucking terrifying and kara’s like fuck this, flies finn to the nearest superfriend for babysitting (it happens to be winn, who startles out of dozing at his computer screen to see little finn danvers grinning from the chair next to him, with a fully packed bag and a note pinned to it telling winn that kara will call soon) and she flies lena to the hospital, giving zero actual fucks about anything other than whether lena and the baby are okay

and it gets kind of crazy after that??? like kara barely has time to call the rest of their family and friends before things are like Moving and, again, there’s not enough time for an epidural but this time lena’s in a lot more pain, like this birth is awful, it rlly is, like lena’s out of it and in way more pain than she was with finn and kara’s scared shitless and their baby comes out quiet?? like no crying, no screaming, just utter silence and lena sort of collapses back on the bed and starts crying and kara’s not even able to get a good look at their kiddo with all the nurses working over em

and then the baby’s like screeching and one of the nurses hands her to kara with a smile and says here’s your little girl, mama and kara’s just like.......entranced and this little baby is so much like finn but so different already and she looks over at lena and beams and lena relaxes immediately, lets out this deep breath and kara’s like we have a daughter, lena and lena sort of sighs happily well let me see her and kara puts maia on lena’s chest, helps lena unbutton the top of her gown and unswaddle maia so she can rest against lena’s skin, feel her heartbeat and they’re so immediately happy??? like all the scary stuff, all the pain is immediately written over with this feeling, with maia’s little hand pressing right over lena’s heart and her eyes locked on kara

and then when things calm down and they’ve had a little time to collect themselves, for lena to get cleaned up a little, finn comes in and is so immediately taken with his little sister, like his eyes get wide and he’s got this small little smile and he’s so gentle without being told, sort of reverently reaches out to hold maia’s tiny little hand in his own and he goes my baby in this soft little voice and he crawls up in kara’s lap and asks if he can hold his baby and kara helps him and lena asks a nurse to grab her phone bc like.......why not get this moment on film. why not capture her family all tucked into one chair like the most adorable nesting dolls

it’s maybe her lock screen for like six months

when they go home, it’s a little bit of an adjustment period?? not in the same way as it was with finn but in that now they’ve got two little kids with wildly different needs, like finn sleeps through the night mostly but has nightmares that he’ll need to be comforted from and maia wakes up a lot but more just?? wants to be near her moms??? like she doesnt cry so much as just stay awake until one of them check her and pull the bassinet closer to their bed

and for lena there’s a bit of worry over having a daughter?? bc its not that its all that much different than having a son rlly, she knows that and she’s the first to advocate raising children the same, but as a daughter of lillian luthor, as a daughter who lost her birth mother when she was young, but not young enough to completely forget her, as a daughter that has never had a solid maternal figure that supported her in her life, lena’s a little terrified of having a daughter?? worried that somehow, someway, she’ll ruin her

but it fades quickly?? like she and kara have always been v attuned to one another but since having finn, it’s just deepened?? so kara catches on quickly, talks to her about it one night when the kiddos are asleep and reminds lena that she’s a good mom, that finn adores her and so does maia already, its obvious

mostly the adjustment is about just juggling the two kiddos, making sure finn doesnt feel left out and they work out a p good system, make sure to include him in basically everything

and finn!!!! loves his baby sister so so much oh my god, he likes to drag his coloring pack into maia’s room when she’s napping. like his moms will go looking for him and he’ll just be curled up in the comfy rocker in maia’s room, quietly coloring and he’ll shush them if he thinks they’re making too much noise and its the cutest thing ever, like he doesnt have the words for it but he just loves maia so much, wants to protect her and make sure she’s happy all the time

so its kind of wildly different with stella, bc like??? they thought they were done having kids?? mostly bc the experience with maia’s birth was so terrifying, like when they finally had a minute to process what all had happened it was like.......shit, lena could have died, maia could have died and it made them p hesitant to try for another kid, like?? they’re happy with two!! and if they decide they want to expand their family, they’re v strongly pro-adoption so that’s probably the route they’ll go and that’s all nice and settled but then, well

kara gets a supergirl call at like six in the morning and she rolls out of bed, handles the issue and is on her way home when she glances down and sees something a lil shady down on the pier. it’s probably eight or nine by now?? the sun’s up, but its winter so its still gray in the city, still feels pre-dawn and kara flies a little closer, sees a man on a pier and hears two heartbeats, his and one that’s weaker, faster, quieter, so she alerts alex and touches down and the man seems almost relieved to see her even as he moves closer to the edge and she tells him to stay, for his baby--because it has to be a baby, kara’s gotten too good at recognizing little heartbeats for it not to be, but the man just smiles sadly, says she’s not like me, i can’t love her right and just as the deo pulls up, the man jumps off into the bay and kara flies after him but he’s just......gone?? just gone. nowhere to be found. his heartbeat is indistinguishable from the roar of the ocean, kara can’t see him anywhere but kara can still hear that smaller one, and she hesitates for a moment before flying back up, touching down by the car and opening the door before the agent nearest her can tell her not to. and theres??? this tiny little baby???? like barely strapped into the carseat, in just a diaper and kara’s like????? immediately protective. like the diaper’s obviously been put on by someone that’s never changed a baby before and she fixes that first, unclips her cape to wrap the baby up second, holds the baby close and turns around with this wide eyed look at alex third and alex’s like......well this is happening huh

and she’s????? so small???? god she’s so small and kara’s heart twists and twists and alex calls out an address to her and it’s not far from the port and kara’s flies low, flies fast but she doesnt even get to the little apartment before she can tell, before she can hear the utter lack of life. she lands just outside, looks up, looks through, sees the body in the bed, not moving not breathing and she looks down at this little baby in her arms, still sleeping and she just?? has a minor blackout tbh (metaphorically ofc) like she’s not sure what her exact thought process was but suddenly she’s at l-corp and the baby is still sleeping and she touches down, opens the balcony door gently and steps in and lena’s looking up, eyebrows raised until she notices the bundle in kara’s arms and like??? she doesnt Know, but she knows whats happening, knows its big and important and so she drops the papers she was working on, pads over and looks up at kara for a breath, then down at the baby and its like oh. shit. this is our baby now, isnt it

and kara starts explaining, starts speaking, rambling, falling over her words bc the gravity of what’s happened has just sort of landed?? it’s taken a beat but god she just watched a man kill himself, just watched this child be orphaned and its like?? she needs lena to understand. she needs her to know why this is so important, but like?? lena’s already there, same page. she’s looking at this little tiny child and deciding that she’ll probably be able to actually get some use out of maia’s newborn stuff, considering maia outgrew the clothes within a month. like??? she looks nothing like finn or maia did as babies, is so much smaller and has this head full of dark hair, these dark eyes when she blinks them open to look up at lena, at kara, but she fits, you know?? its like kara and lena look at her and just like.....recognize her. like she’s always been meant for them

and then kara’s just.......out of things to say, like she’s said everything she can and she’s just sort of looking down at the baby and so is lena and then lena’s asking can i hold ....her? and kara’s nodding, her, she confirms, letting lena slip the baby out of her arms and she’s just like lena, she’s and breaks off, throat closing and lena’s just nodding, smiling down at the baby and smoothing down the little cowlick in her hair. i think maia’s old bassinet is still in the basement, she says and that’s that

the kids dont even question it?? like finn was young enough when maia was born that he doesnt even remember her coming home, she’s just sort of always been around as far as he remembers and maia doesnt have any sort of context for it, and rlly it doesnt matter?? like they crowd around lena when kara calls them over and finn promises then and there he’s going to be the best big brother and maia’s just staring all wide eyed at this little baby, decided that she’s going to keep her so safe bc she’s her little sister and the only other big sister she knows very well is aunt alex and aunt alex helps keep mama safe every day so. logic, ya know

there is a bit more jealousy tho?? more from maia than from finn, bc she goes from being the baby to the middle child and like kara and lena are rlly good abt splitting their time equally, but there’s like?? more to do with stella, like they dont know anything rlly abt her background and they dont know why she’s not putting on weight and they dont know whether she’s just colicky or if there’s something they need to be worried about?? and its scarier too bc its all so normal ??? like they did all the tests for finn and maia, knew they had kara’s immune system, knew they didnt have to worry abt shit like whooping cough but like they do have to worry abt that with stella, its sort of like having a first baby all over again?? like there’s a lot of new experiences they’ve never had to think about before so there’s a little bit of jealousy from maia, but literally just a little, just like a couple temper tantrums bc kara says they cant play uno unless maia uses her inside voice, or bc lena can’t come see the picture she drew right that second bc she’s trying to get stella down for a nap

but they handle it rlly well?? like they each take a day with maia and finn, separately so they dont feel like they’re just getting lumped together, go and do whatever they feel like doing and do that ridiculously Good Mom thing where they each explain that, yeah, they’re having to spend a little more time with the new baby but they love them all the same, all equally and that they can pick something to do with their moms each month

that tradition actually sticks around! like each kiddo picks a Thing to do with their moms, like finn favors the aquarium and maia likes to go to movies and stella usually just asks to go out to breakfast at noonans tbh (listen she is.........so much like kara sometimes)

so while finn and maia adjust p well, its not all smooth sailing. like?? finn and maia were such easy babies!! like SUCH easy babies, they rlly lucked the fuck out with them but stella??? oh god stella is such a difficult baby. not like?? not like super-difficult?? but she cries a lot and the only time she rlly calms down is when kara or lena holds her and sometimes it not even full screaming crying, just quiet little whimpering that just like........breaks her moms’ hearts. she also gets sick a lot?? lots of colds and stomach bugs and she doesnt put on a lot of weight for the first several months, like consistently on the low end of healthy. like?? its all new territory for them, bc they never?? rlly?? worried abt finn and maia like this?? they never rlly had to

listen they heave a collective sigh of relief when their doctor tells them that she’s moved into the fortieth percentile for her age range like what???? she’s doing okay???????

anyway. i’m crying

#supergirl #supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #superbabies #catch me reblogging these in the morning #i've been working on this for like four days omfg #anonymous #human interaction

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palteringcecutiency · 8 years

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==> Psii: Yesterday, update your dancestor.

-- geminiDoomed [GD] has set their status to Idle --

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-- palteringCecutiency [PC] began trolling geminiDoomed [GD] -- PC: Good evening. PC: I believe you asked for updates? GD: eugh GD: ii forgot ii had thii2 logged iin GD: the me22enger alert ii2 goiing 2traiight through my head iin more than one way PC: ...are you quite alright? GD: miigraiin GD: ii wa2 doziing

PC: First off, turn off your alerts, good lord. PC: Second off, would you mind terribly if we left pretenses at the door and mangled our way through this, because it remains important but my skull is about to split open and finding all the right keys is remarkably taxing. GD: ii hone2tly dont giive a fuck riight now how you talk GD: ii'm not even typing, welcome two my 2tream of consciiou2ne22 PC: thank fucking god PC: you lucky bastard i wish i couldr ight now PC: anyway PC: found some shit out PC: its a mess PC: shocking no one GD: oh ii ju2t love more me22e2 two clean up GD: my ab2olutely favoriite pre2ent GD: happy new cycle two me GD: [confettiiii] PC: how about this for a present PC: you dont have to clean it up PC: i havent eevn mentioned you yet PC: and im sure as fuck not expecting you to PC: the shti that got all this stirred up should be doing allthe work PC: at least if he as any fucking sense PC: please god GD: oh thank ble22ed fuck2 GD: what ii2 iit ii'm not cleaniing up PC: okay first you gotta promise me youre not gonna get murderous PC: super fucking pissed off? im righ tthere with oyu PC: ready to strangle people? i have a jacket ready PC: but its really fucking hard to make him fix it if hes dead and god knows if hes gonna learn thats how he will PC: so im asking you as a personal favor to let me vouch for him in this case GD: for fuck2 2ake GD: ii piinky 2wear ii wont fly off the handle and go murder 2omeone 2peciifiically becau2e of the iinformatiion you're about two unveal PC: okay good PC: thank you PC: i said id help im get a chance to fix shit so this means a lot PC: makaras 'war' with the fae is an escalating shitstorm thats starting to sweep in other people on purpose and darkleer was the latest victim PC: hell be okay but hes pretty shaken up PC: ive got him tho so hes already solved PC: but he was delivered specifically with a message that was political talk for 'were gotnna start invovilng people that associate you since you captured and tried to kill me the prince dude' PC: sunfall was his name PC: 'and were giving this one back 'cause were so nice' PC: also fucking bullshit for the record PC: both sides of this thing are reprehensible PC: did i spell that right PC: i dont think i care GD: honly fuckiing 2hiitball2 GD: we told them that we weren't goiing two get iinvolved iin that dii2pute GD: we were extremely fuckiing expliiciit about how we were not takiing 2iide2 or iinvolviing our2elve2 iin that bull2hiit GD: and they're fuckiing GD: draggiing u2 iin anyhow?? GD: ii'm glad darkleer ii2 okay but we made our po2iitiion extremely clear about how we felt about kiidnappiing2 the la2t tiime they took 2omeone PC: yes well im thinking they dont do well with listening PC: apparently ampora sent one of them back into the woods with an offering to mediate and part of the message back was a facny 'go fuck yourself' addressed to him PC: oh and did i mention that zahhak got returned by marching him through the city to the castle gates PC: cause that was a thing PC: which is why the door was busted PC: zahhak was understandably furious GD: u g h GD: my head hurt2 far two much for thii2 complete ranciid fe2teriing bull2hiit GD: do you know what DL'2 favoriite alcohol ii2 by chance? PC: anything brandy or old though hell take shit to make into booze too PC: specially honey PC: but i have good news PC: not only do you not need to get involved PC: makara told me that hes afraid to stop this war for fear of retaliation PC: so i suggested he go to sky since hes the one talking to them PC: to work with him and get help PC: cooperate with diplomacy ideas in an effort to solve this once and for all PC: and he agreed PC: now i dunno if hes actually gonna do it PC: and if he doesnt im revoking my help and vouch PC: but i think he will PC: and maybe we can stop this ridiculous body count from getting higher PC: and by we i mean me too PC: im heloing GD: ii am riidiiculou2ly grateful that 2omeone el2e ii2 on top of thii2 GD: oh ii've got honey ii've got a lot of that, ii'll 2end hiim 2ome a2 2oon a2 tryiing two pry my look bulb2 open do2nt re2ult iin iin2tant piierciing paiin GD: what do you mean by riidiiculou2 body count PC: hell appreciate it and cheer up probably PC: as will like PC: leaving him alone for a while PC: he needs some space and a lack of people so he can process PC: but i got him hell be okay PC: ... PC: okay so remember that part where you promised not to kill makara PC: that is relevant GD: we don't really talk anyhow, he hate2 me becau2e ii'm iin charge and not a hiighblood GD: and al2o becau2e ii'm rude GD: ii'm a very rude per2on GD: anyhow the honey'll be iin hii2 hiiveblock wiithiin an hour GD: .... GD: ye2 ii do 2eem two remember piinky 2weariing not two kiill the large clown becau2e of thiing2 you 2aiid GD: ii wa2 wonderiing when ii wa2 goiing two fiind the part that made me want two PC: he seems to be tolerating me and my mouth so far PC: but yeah it was more of a dont come asking him questions about his incident or anything until he starts volinteering it himself PC: he needs to set boundries again and have them be respected PC: yes PC: well PC: here it is PC: makaras half of the escalation has involved hunting down fae to kill for at least religious reasons PC: i have no idea of the specifics because i was two seconds from knocking his skull from his neck i didn't want to tempt my restraint listening to him justify it more than he already was PC: but the phrase ritual sacrafice was used PC: and thinking about this is not helping my gut settle PC: i fucking hate bodies GD: ii cannot GD: fuckiing even begiin two GD: b eli eve thii2 BULL2hiit GD: holy fuckiing chrii2te on a riitz biitz GD: why doe2 he thiink that2 okay GD: murder ii2 not okay GD: bodiie2 are the wor2t ii triied two 2park and ii'm iin hell GD: ii'm dumpiing my2elf iin a cold dark 2hower and turniing off the lamp iin my bad eye and puttiing on an eye patch GD: ii am not capable of currently 2u2taiiniing the amount of outrage and ragerage thii2 de2erve2 GD: ii2 thii2 why he wanted two be 2eperate from the ciity? GD: 2o he could kiill people for hii2 god2? PC: at least there is that keeping you from being impulsive PC: god knows i couldve used it yesterday PC: and i do not fucking know i tried to hammer in that perhaps this was fucked up but he wouldnt have it an di did not care enough to make him PC: ...i do kmnow that that is not why he is out there PC: partially because he is an idiot but partially because he did not think any of you would have him PC: not that im defending anything he did but i do not htink he planned this from teh beginning PC: i could be completely wrong of course but that is where i place my bet GD: well we 2ure a2 2hiit wouldnt have been lettiing hiim 2acrafiice people whiile liiviing iin the ciity GD: he2 huge! and 2cary! and he 2how2 up covered iin blood all the tiime GD: maybe iif he 2topped doiing all tho2e thiing2! That would be niice! PC: and that would be a matter for his topleaf to handle PC: or one of his other quadrants PC: and i am right fucking there with getting them to fucking do that PC: i doubt i will put up with any more of his whining about how everyone is afraid of him and treat him like a monster or however he phrases it PC: murder does that im afraid and maybe he should fucking stop PC: what a concept PC: ugh PC: please pretend that has emphasis i cannot find the right puntuation to do so PC: being caught between having no fucks and needing to express this much disgust is a terrible hell GD: iit2 goiing two become my problem iif thii2 e2culate2 two badly becau2e ii'm 2uppo2edly the captaiin of thii2 leaky tugboat GD: ha2 he only been kiilliing faeriie2 do you know? PC: id hardly call it a tugboat PC: perhaps a cargo carrier PC: but it is far better than those tiny little pretend ships PC: as far as i know it has only been fae PC: he was insistant it was because he was at war with them and as far as i know he has not declared war on anyone else yet GD: tugboat2 are cute dont dii22 the tug2 GD: ..well there2 a 2aviing grace iin thii2 after all GD: 2o what happen2 when he deciide2 he doe2nt liike what we're doiing and declare2 war on u2 two PC: they're hauty little things that think theyre important and imposing when they can fit inside one of my cannons PC: the battleships cannons PC: sorry PC: see i made that exact point and he got all indignant PC: he insists he neither wants the throne nor another alternia but thats all i can fucking see with this PC: and like fuck he listens to me he has no reason to GD: 2mall thiing2 are adorable GD: and II liike 2hiip2 wiith atmo captabiiliitiie2 GD: even though II get iintwo trouble ziippiing my liittle 2cout when II go out on mii22iion2 GD:.. 2orry thii2 ii2 probably a bad topiic ii2nt iit ugh GD: II 2tiill dont know why anyone2 lii2teniing two me let alone why he2 acknowledgiing my soveirgnty GD: II wa2nt worriied bout iit two much before but now.. PC: ...not for me it isnt PC: hard to forget im free when my skulls trying to explode PC: i am more worried about you PC: of that i have no fucking clue PC: its not as if we sat down and had a chat about his hopes and desires for his church hermitage PC: there was quite a bit more yelling than that and a narrower focus GD: yeah? II'm glad GD: my 2cout doe2nt have a helmiing 2y2tem iin2talled at all and that2 more or le22 why II get yelled at for enhaciing her GD: you diie once from braiin hemorragiing and 2uddenly you cant be tru2ted two know your liimiit2 GD: MMnh GD: .. okay two be perfectly faiir about the fae GD: II have iin all 2eriiou2ne22 contemplated kiilliing them more than a few tiime2 GD: and Twoblade ii2 barely held back from iit GD: they havent endeared them2elve2 two anyone GD: but fuckiing GD: ritual 2acrafiice though PC: reckless little thing you are PC: though if you could possibley keep from bleeding out from the ears PC: its so messy an d hard to clean up after PC: i doubt anyone wishes to deal with that PC: what appeals to you so much about atmo capabilties PC: ...i find my sympathy for them strained after hearing what happened to zahhak and what they have done to makaras moirail PC: but at you point out PC: fucking ritual sacrafice PC: i dont have striong enough worse to saay how repulsed i am by the idea PC: and that someone i fucking ;know; is doing it PC: and has been doing it for long enough that he will not admit it PC: god fucking ;damn; it PC: it wasnt that long ago when he convinced me that alternai waas behind him! PC: that he had changed! that nothing would repeat itself PC: ;ha; GD: dont worry II'm not doiing anything ob2cenely 2tupiid ju2t kiinda 2tupiid GD: iit doe2nt help two be the fa2te2t thiing iin a uniiver2e iif you never get two u2e iit two you advantage, yeah? GD:II know II'm lo2iing a lot of maniverabiiliity and wa2tiing energy but II've been workiing on 2ome 2chematiic2.. GD: anyhow ju2t GD: yeah. GD: oh geeze II'm 2orry p2ii GD: II dont thiink anyone knew he wa2 doiing that he2 been liike GD: playiing at beiing harmle22 for a 2weep and a half and iit2 kiinda GD: II'm anxiiou2 now PC: oh thank goodnes for a moment i was worried PC: id be curious to take a peek if you are up for sharing though PC: i admit i am far more furious than worried PC: i dont take kindly to being played PC: especially over shit like this PC: and double especially with the way he fucking did it PC: its shit like this that makes no one want him anywhere near them PC: and think him a fucking monster GD: II would love two, iif you're iintere2ted --geminiDoomed [GD] has sent file myshipnow.zip -- GD: ..diid he liie two you? -- palteringCecutiency [PC] accepted file! -- PC: i will look at that when i can process without pining for death PC: ...not directly PC: he is different than he was when he was alternian PC: i hesitate to use the word better but PC: less terrible PC: but glossing over the part where he has been luring in and carving up living people for his gods for a sweep in a half is a fucking huge omition!! PC: how do you tell a person that you have become a different person when you're still fucking dping that kind of shit!!!! PC: fucking hell PC: how the hell can he be alright with doing this GD: dont a2k me II dont GD: II can barely handle kiilliing people at all GD: II alway2 end up 2iick a2 fuck afterward2 and 2hakey GD: even wiith my atrociiou2 temper GD: II've never been very reliigiiou2 GD: 2o II dont know or under2tand what he miight have been doiing GD: but II know that Grand- one of my be2t friiend2 and hii2 alternate2 liike GD: wiill do a lot of 2hiit pretty bliindly ju2t for faiith, and iit2 taken a lot two get hiim two even begiin two examiine 2ome of the thiing2 he never que2tiioned before PC: ...as do i PC: or dont in this case PC: it is a miserable experience even when necessary PC: ugh PC: ...god please let it not be that PC: please let it be he was a panvoid or it is Her fault or something else PC: i PC: just do not want to think of that PC: its hard enough to reconsile the alternian with the beforian without needing to shower for the next sweep GD: II'm tryiing two fiigure out exactly what II 2aiid and exactly what that reactiion two iit ii2 PC: ...him following his faith mindlessly down the road to slaughter PC: i would rather he chose to be awful than to just PC: not give it a single thought PC: to be able to do such a thing without even a glimmer of hesitation GD: oh, yeah GD: but II thiink the empiire wa2 ba2iically buiild on people doiing horriible thiing2 every niight that they never even thought about GD: or thought of a2 weiird or wrong GD: ..he 2hould have 2ome context out2iide of that now though 2houldnt he? PC: part of it was PC: most of it was fear and the abuse of power PC: what use is it if the slave realizes their lives are awful if they fear death more PC: what use is trying to tell a slaver their beast of burden are people if they have never cared who they hurt PC: and you would think he would but who knows how much got through PC: and having ampora as his topleaf certainly isnt reassuring GD: II know there2 nothiing II can really 2ay two change your miind about Cae GD: 2o II'm not goiing two try. GD: ..hone2tly II'm ju2t not goiing two conte2t any of that GD: My head ii2 2pliittiing and 2omeone need2 two tell 2ky what2 goiing on PC: not it GD: II 2ee how iit ii2 GD: driink 2ome fruiit juiice and get 2ome a2priin PC: hey i dealt with makara ampora and the fucking elves yesterday PC: and im here today PC: you can do ;one; to your kismesis PC: but i will give it an attempt PC: though it is so far away and my head is already shattering so i cant cheat PC: woe PC: my life is full of nothing but woe GD: do you want me two ta2k a robot two briing you a driink PC: ...i am tempted PC: not just out of laziness but fucking hell this nausia is not helping PC: ...could i trouble you to/ PC: god there it was fuck PC: ...andi f it is possible for horuss as well? PC: i am not alone i n my tragic suffering GD: driink2, headache and antinau2ea pill2 comiing up for both of you GD: feel better GD: II'll me22age 2ky PC: i appreciate it PC: all of it PC: thank you PC: appropriate emote GD: appropriiate emote back -- geminiDoomed [GD] has ceased trolling palteringCecutiency [PC] --

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#geminidoomed #Honorable Mention:#devotedharlequin #methodicalauxilium #posted ooc #tw: brain trauma #tw: death #tw: slavery

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