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#he has a place to stand still
whiskingskin · 6 months
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No because yall... Izzy spent most of his life at sea. Hating, loving, learning, yearning. Repressing and expressing, losing himself and finding himself, accepting that his existence can be good, he can be good, and safe, at the same time. He was always the first to throw himself into needlessly dangerous situations- the ships protector. The ships unicorn. Living his life physically and emotionally getting tossed around by life changing waves and tides.
And they buried him on fucking land
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gummi-ships · 4 months
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Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Braig / Xigbar
#kingdom hearts dream drop distance#khddd#braig#xigbar#my gif#his pointy shoulders deflated with age#...do you ever wonder about his scarf?#radiant garden took pride in its beauty and ansem the wise was a ruler who was beloved and admired by his people (despite... yknow)#so is it safe to assume that being a guard of this world being tasked with protecting the castle/its ruler/and the townspeople-#would be considered a prestigious occupation?#yet we see braig wearing an old tattered scarf#it's a curious addition to his uniform that looks out of place among other guards#i dont think it was added to his design to help him stand out because cmon it's not like he's competing for relevance with dilan and aeleus#braig fights from afar with his guns it's not like he's some scrappy guy that might have messy clothes from battle#i wouldn't be surprised if this was ephemer's scarf that he somehow came into possession of#and is holding onto it with the possibly of it being used as some kind of medium/waypoint#who's to say he's not still wearing it under his organization coat? just because we can't see it anymore doesn't mean it's gone#riku had an entirely different outfit under his own organization coat so who knows what xigbar has under there#i like to think braig used to be scolded for wearing the scarf because it covers up the uniform's emblem#and wearing old ripped articles of clothing isn't part of the image the guards would presumably have to uphold#but eventually they gave up on making him take it off because he just does whatever he wants#just something i think about from time to time#xigbar has always been so mysterious and cryptic i can't help but keep an extra close eye on him#especially since he's been revealed to be so much more than what he seems. who knows what tricks he has up his sleeve#i don't think it's outside the realm of possibility
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h0estar · 1 year
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Yukine's journey toward acceptance of the life that was robbed of him, this time with finality, exemplifies the emotional and beautifully rendered arc that has defined his character.
Yukine finally accepting the reality of his death. Yukine stepping out from the fridge that contained memories of what was once his life. Yukine freeing himself from the shackles of his trauma. Yukine running to protect the person who cherished him the most in the world. Yukine standing up to an abusive father. Yukine wholeheartedly apologizing. Yukine's growth, and Yato tearing up as he stretches his little arms to pull him for an embrace.
Yukine's gratitude for what Yato did for him is evident throughout the series. He was given a name more precious than any other. He was treated like a human--an ordinary teenage boy. And life after that was one exciting journey after another. Now, Yukine can no longer be entirely consumed by the horrors of his past because he knows that his reality with Yato is so much brighter. Far brighter.
Yukine could break out from that refrigerator because of the true, sincere, and nurturing love shown by the only father figure in his life. Yato has said multiple times throughout the series that Yukine was his priority above all else, and Yukine was the only person he swore to protect the most. Hell, he even went straight to hug him after Yukine apologized for turning into that form! Yato did not need to summon Yukine. Yukine came to protect Yato on his own decision. As he always did.
The journey to their healing will be painful, and this chapter shows that Yato and Yukine will face it together. No more secrets and no more miscommunications. They will help and be by each other's side as they always have, not only as god and shinki but, this time, as family.
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"I will not let him die. Not Yato. No matter what happens... I swear I won't let anyone take him from me!" -Yukine, Noragami Vol. 17 Chapter 67.
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muninnhuginn · 2 months
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Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end
Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience
His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua
Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most
And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost
To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.
#sth about how he almost managed to live for himself but his past and need to do right doomed him.#those missing years before canon starts were probably the closest he got but even then the knowledge he couldn't use martial arts#must have killed him (no pun intended). because he'd put so much stock in his identity as sigu sect leader + hero + prodigy#so to have such a massive part of his identity stripped from him... honestly it doesn't seem that he ever fully comes to terms with it#but he makes progress and he tries to do better. + that leads to him becoming a different type of 'hero' than the symbol he was originally#deep down he wants to help people with all he has but his capacity isn't infinite + at some point can only be taken from himself#mysterious lotus casebook#mlc spoilers#also to be clear I mention shan gudao not to say lxy should have realised earlier bc for a lot of the time he was too young to notice#and later on sgd did better at hiding his intentions. but more for how lxy tunnel visioned towards his idea of righteousness#and steamrolled over everyone else. both sgd and qwm were placed far below the importance of the sigu sect#and lxy's arrogance made it such that sigu became reliant on him alone as he shut others out (hence domino fall once he went).#idk if he could ever have 'fixed' what was btwn him and sgd bc it was so deep rooted but I do think that his actions#helped convince sgd that sgd was entirely in the right to choose his path#mlc#edit: just went and checked the exact wording of the TL and it's actually 'you like being a hero' rather than 'you want to be the hero'#which is different but still close enough in implications for my point to stand (I think)
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How do you feel about Jack Drake?? What are your thoughts on him and Tim’s relationship?
Anon, I hope you were interested in a novel, because look, I am fascinated by Jack Drake.  He’s key to a whole lot of what I find compelling about Tim as a character, and if I were in charge of DC, I’d bring him back to life.  This would make Tim unhappy but would IMO make for good plotlines.
Jack and Tim’s relationship is Complicated (TM)...
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Jack and Tim hug in Nightwing 20 / Jack impulsively yanks a TV out of the wall in Robin 45 / Tim grieves in Identity Crisis
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“I could tell the truth.  But I don’t.” - Robin 66
...and it involves a whole lot of Tim lying, and feeling guilty about lying, and thinking about telling the truth, and choosing again and again to keep lying.
And I think that’s great.
Below the cut:
Shorter version - key points about Jack
Really long version - my gentler take (vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports) vs. my harsher take (Jack has some major flaws)
Final thoughts
Shorter version - key points about Jack:
He’s a bad parent.  He’s self-centered, he consistently prioritizes his own comfort and interests over his son’s, and when upset, he does things like order Tim off to boarding school.
But he’s never a bad parent in an actionable way.  He’s not like David Cain or Arthur Brown, who are abusive monsters.  Jack’s not a monster!  He just...kinda sucks.
He genuinely loves Tim. If Jack’s aware that Tim’s disappeared or is in trouble, he’s always worried and upset.  He periodically resolves to be a better dad, and IMO he’s always sincere.
And Tim loves him, a lot.  Tim’s protective of him and worries about him when he’s kidnapped or in danger, and when they’re reunited, Tim’s really relieved and usually hugs him (and Jack hugs back!). 
...But they have very little in common, and that’s a problem. Jack doesn’t value the things that Tim values, or respect the people that Tim admires, or care about the things that Tim’s interested in.  Tim lies to him a lot, but that’s partly because he correctly guesses Jack wouldn’t respond well if he knew the truth of what Tim’s up to.
The Batfamily is a surrogate family that Tim’s drawn to because of the ways his real family doesn’t meet his emotional needs…but also he feels guilty about that and disloyal. (And to the extent that his dad recognizes what’s going on, he's jealous and resentful!)
Very long version:
(LISTEN I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS)
Okay!  So first: Jack’s a character who IMO is pretty up for interpretation.  You can interpret him very charitably, and make excuses for the bad behavior, and fill in the blanks sympathetically when situations are ambiguous; or you can interpret him uncharitably, and emphasize the bad behavior. I don’t think either approach is invalid - it depends on what kind of story you’re interested in!  I have enjoyed Bad Dad stories and also stories that redeem Jack.
My personal take on canon is that Jack and Tim’s relationship is in a gray area.  Jack's definitely neglectful, and he does prioritize other things over Tim, but he’s never so bad that Tim can easily reject him, and he's never so bad that Bruce could justify taking Tim away.  He's just...not great.  Tim loves him, and feels loyal to him, but it’s a very mixed-up complicated love.
I have a gentler take and a harsher one which I switch between as the spirit moves me. xD
My Gentler Take (tl;dr: vigilantism is choir and Jack loves sports)
Here’s the core conflict: Jack and Tim are very different people with different values.  Tim idolizes Bruce and Dick and vigilantism, and secretly gets involved, knowing his dad will hate it. He gets increasingly wrapped up in his secret world and lies to his dad...because if his dad finds out, he’ll make Tim quit.
This is a great setup for an ongoing comic.  It’s practical, because it provides endless potential for plotlines, and it’s nicely thematic, because it maps closely onto relatable real-life situations with extracurricular activities:
Tim the drama nerd whose dad thinks he’s playing football and not in the school play; 
Tim the closeted-queer kid secretly getting involved in his school’s politically-active Gay-Straight Alliance; 
Tim the choir kid whose dad only values making money and wants him to go into the family business (and Tim keeps promising himself he'll give up choir soon, definitely soon, but maybe he'll stay in just a liiiittle longer, because they need him, you see, the last tenor left town, so...); 
Tim the computer geek with the sports-obsessed dad (this one’s just canon);
etc. etc.  
The extracurricular metaphor works pretty well for Tim’s relationship to vigilantism.  Tim's involved in his "extracurricular" because he genuinely thinks it's important and fulfilling, and he values it and wants to be good at it. He idolizes Bruce and Dick because they're good at it. He's been collecting information about it since he was a little kid, and hiding it from his parents because he knows they wouldn't approve. And mayyyybe there's also an element of low-key rebellion against his dad, and maybe that's secretly part of the appeal. And yet also as Tim gets more and more invested, he starts to daydream: maybe I could tell my dad and he'd be proud of me and supportive. But he doesn't, because actually he knows his dad would be upset and angry and make him quit.
And - again, just like with lonely kids and extracurricular hobbies - one of the things that happens is that Tim starts getting his unfilled emotional needs met ... by people he knows through this secret hobby. And people like Bruce and Dick start turning into a surrogate family. Which Tim feels guilty about. And also as Tim gets more and more wrapped up in their world, he has to lie to his dad even more, which means the distance between Tim and his dad gets bigger and bigger and more and more unfixable.
I love this dilemma. It's simple, it's recognizable, it provides endless sources for conflict, and there's no obvious solution! Tim can't tell Jack: he'll make Tim quit! And Tim doesn't want to quit, because he loves choir / art / theater / whatever.  Yeah, it’s difficult, and there are challenges, and sometimes he has doubts...but at the end of the day, he cares about it a lot.  And everything he values is there, and all the people he admires and cares about are there, and all he wants in the world is to feel like he's one of them and belongs there. So he has to lie, even though he doesn't want to lie, and he feels guilty about it...
...but also he ends up lying more and more.
(Sidenote: I think it's important that Tim chooses to keep lying - Tim's narration often glosses this as "I have to lie to my dad," and that's certainly how it feels to Tim, but this... isn't quite true. He has to lie to his dad, because if he doesn't, his dad will get mad at him and try to stop him, not because he literally has no choice about it.)
Other Reasons Why I Like The "Secret Extracurricular" Interpretation
(tl;dr it complicates not just Tim's relationship with his dad, but also all his other relationships)
Tim's problems have some obvious parallels to Steph and Cass, who both become vigilantes while rejecting their evil supervillain dads. But Jack isn't evil. And that means the Tim-and-Jack relationship is ambiguous and complicated in ways that I like. Steph and Cass can just leave their Bad Dads in prison, and say good riddance, and feel very righteous and triumphant about it! Tim’s more complicated. Tim gets into vigilantism ostensibly out of duty and altruism, but secretly, he's also involved for straight-up selfish self-fulfillment reasons. He's lonely, and bored, and his life feels pointless, but he thinks that Bruce and Dick are cool and amazing and he wants to be a part of the things that they do.  When his dad gets jealous of Tim’s relationship to Bruce, and feels like Tim’s looking for a surrogate family, he’s... not wrong.
And the ways in which Jack is not Actionably Bad complicate things from Bruce's POV.  If Jack was a straight-up villain, it’d be an easy call to keep in touch when Jack finds out and makes Tim quit...but he’s not a villain, not really.  So what do you do?  Do you try to surreptitiously stay in touch with Tim even though you’re ignoring his dad’s express wishes and thus forcing Tim to sneak around?  Do you respect his dad’s wishes and stay away from Tim even though you have a years-long relationship at this point?  
Again: a bit similar to the extracurricular analogy.  Say you’re the choir director and you’ve built this whole relationship with a kid in the choir, and you’re an important mentor to him and you care about him etc. etc. etc.... and then right before a big performance, his dad finds out he’s been secretly involved, and yanks him out.  How would you react?  Well, maybe kind of in some of the ways Bruce reacts.  You replace him. You’re annoyed with him. You miss him. You want him to come back. You’re also worried about him.  You’re upset with his dad.  But also... what should you do, exactly?
Bruce and Alfred and Dick care about Tim as if he were part of their family, but he’s not part of their family, and there’s a lot of interesting tension there.
My Harsher Take
Jack never hits his son.  But his temper is a big deal.
In his worst moments, he takes out his anger on Tim’s stuff - wrecking his room, or ripping his TV out of the wall and confiscating it.  When he’s worried about Tim, he usually expresses that fear by yelling at him / punishing him / sending him away - threatening to send him to boarding school in Metropolis in Robin III, or threatening to send him to military school abroad in Robin 92, or actually forcing him to go to an all-boys' boarding school post-NML.  
This is bad behavior!  It is Not Good!  
And you can easily connect the dots to a bunch of Tim’s terrible coping mechanisms, like the constant lying and or the fact that Tim’s go-to methods for dealing with interpersonal conflict are 1) repress it and pretend it never happened (most of his fights with Bruce), 2) withdraw from the relationship until he can pretend the conflict doesn’t exist (when his friends get mad at him in YJ, he quits the team for a while), or 3) literally run away from home.
Also, Jack is a Manly Man with firm opinions about how men behave vs. how women behave, and he thinks boys shouldn’t be scared and thinks Tim should date hot girls and pushes Tim to work out and wants him to play football and expresses period-typical sexism, etc. etc. etc. ... and though obviously this wasn’t what the writers had in mind at the time, all of that is certainly interesting to read backwards in the light of Tim as a queer character.
More Disorganized Thoughts on Jack Drake
Tim’s our hero, so we’re naturally more sympathetic to him, but it’s also true that relationships are a two-way street, and Tim doesn’t value any of the things his dad values, either.  Jack at various points is shown to care about grades, business, money, boarding schools, archeology, football, a kind of macho bragging-about-dating-hot-women ethos, and a very public and performative kind of caring. Tim tends to respond with discomfort or disinterest or even disgust.  When Jack gets on TV to try to rally the government to save his son from No Man’s Land, Tim isn’t touched—he’s mortified.  When Jack makes some bad investments and loses money, Jack’s deeply upset and his self-image is majorly impacted, and far from being sympathetic, Tim’s annoyed and kind of contemptuous of the idea that this is a problem.  Jack thinks fishing in the early morning and going to tennis matches is a fun father-son activity; Tim finds it exhausting and tedious.  And so on.
This means that Tim often longs to be closer to his dad in theory, but this longing is more tied to fantasy than to reality. He rarely seems to enjoy spending time with His-Dad-The-Actual-Person.  So for example, when Tim’s deadly ill with the Clench, he has an extremely poignant fever dream about telling his dad the truth and getting hugged…even as he insists in real-life to Alfred and Dick that he does not want them to tell his dad what’s going on.
The same is true of Jack, who IMO genuinely wants to be closer to his son and is continually declaring that he’s going to turn over a new leaf and get closer to his son…and just as continually backs out of activities or loses his temper when faced with spending time with his actual son.
Tim and his dad sadly get along best—by far—in Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder situations.  When Jack gets kidnapped or is in danger, Tim worries for him (and Tim grieves him deeply when he dies).  When Tim disappears or runs away, Jack’s genuinely worried about him.  So e.g. they have a really moving emotional reunion and hug when the earthquake hits Gotham, and Tim panics about his dad’s safety and comes running home (and meanwhile Jack’s been panicked about Tim’s safety!).  It’s the day-to-day, regular life stuff where they don’t connect.
Jack's written quite differently by different writers. Mostly, Tim's parents are at their least likable in his early appearances and early miniseries (this is where you get, for example, Jack and Janet being nasty at each other while a pained employee looks on, and Tim disappointed to once again get news of where his parents are via postcard - "I guess that sums them up! Never know where they’re going to be–or when–or even how long!” - and Tim alone on school break, and Bruce and Alfred thinking there's something weird going on with Tim's parents, etc. etc.). Jack's more sympathetic but still often unlikable in most of Tim's Robin solo, and he's almost invisible (but positively treated if he does show up) in Tim's team books.
For obvious reasons, Jack's remembered way more sympathetically after his death. Tim's completely devastated by Jack's murder, which he arrives moments too late to prevent, and he basically never gets over it. We see him grieving Jack again and again in Robin, and also in Teen Titans, and also in Resurrection, and again in the Halloween Special, and again in Batman: Blackest Night, and all the way up to the end of Red Robin. Tim also grieves for an extended time over Janet - he hallucinates a happy reunion with her when he's feverish in Contagion, and hallucinates her in the final issue of Robin, and the reveal-your-buried-emotions song in Robin 102 brings up his grief for her too (meanwhile, other characters dance or laugh or otherwise get giddy).  Tim’s grief over his parents’ deaths is intense and long-lasting.
I'm not going to clip comic panels because this is long enough, but if you're curious, here's a nice and fairly lengthy compilation of comic panels with Tim and Jack.
If you're interested in a Jack-centric story with a softer-but-still-recognizably-canon take on Jack, I really like the way Jack’s narration is written in the one-shots Heart Humble (set shortly before Jack dies) and Never a Hero (Ra's resurrects him during Brucequest, and Jack's archeology skills turn out to be unexpectedly useful).
#tim drake#jack drake#ask tag#i wrote this ages ago and now i can't remember what i was going to add to it so oh well draft amnesty? sorry for the long wait anon!! <333#anyway i kept this carefully on topic and virtuously did not derail into talking about the other blorbo but tags are for disorganization SO#for me this kinda half-in half-out place where tim is with the batfamily is SUCH an interesting part of his relationship with dick#and i never stop turning it over in my head#he's kiiiinda replaced dick in that he's robin - but in a very real way he *hasn't* - he's NOT bruce's new son the way jason was#and early!tim makes a BIG POINT of how bruce is not his dad#and i think this relative distance from bruce is a huge factor in why dick is able to build a close relationship with tim at all#(because dick's still pretty estranged from bruce!)#and there's such interesting tension there when dick starts jokingly calling tim ''little brother'' or when villains call them brothers#because they're NOT. increasingly they would both LIKE to be brothers! but dick has zero official standing in tim's life#if tim got hit by a car in his civilian identity bruce and dick wouldn't even be able to visit him without his dad's permission#which jack would be pretty unlikely to give! jack doesn't like or trust bruce!#or like. this is morbid. but if tim died. dick wouldn't even be invited to the funeral you know?#and there's such interesting tension there for me in the contrast between this vigilante relationship that's very very close#but in their civilian lives no one would assume they're anything in particular to each other#anyway the 1st half of tim's robin solo has this thread of tension between tim's family life vs. his vigilante life (plus his mom's death)#and then the second half + red robin has the thread of struggling with grief in a world that's not fair + feeling lost/alone#and these two threads are a big part of my interest in tim as a character! jack's the backdrop that makes a lot of stories possible
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nostalgia-tblr · 6 months
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Hey do yous want to see my favourite bit from the first Thor film? It's this bit:
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What's going on here? Why would anyone be standing behind that big gold pillar for any reason other than to slink out from behind it? There's nothing there! Not even the sinister shadows that I suspect were supposed to be on that part of the set.
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Oh ho ho, here we go, here we goooooo!!!
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Oh yeah, I absolutely 100% trust whatever this lad's about to say. That's the least shifty approach I've ever seen in my life. He barely even skulked.
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Listen to him, Thor! I don't care what he's saying to you, it's definitely good advice whatever it is. See how he's leaning towards you in a completely un-conspiratorial manner, speaking quietly because he knows you're a sensitive type who gets nervous around loud noises. This is really good advice. You can tell because he looks so earnest.
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Oh and here come some witnesses! I mean your friends!
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You can safely ignore whatever he's saying now though, Thor. He's obviously got a bit intimidated by the success that lies ahead when you carry out this amazing plan that you've just come up with all by yourself after he suggested it.
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Oof, he's very against you doing that thing that you're about to do! He's sooooo disappointed with the way this is going. He's just said it's madness! In a loud, clear voice that should have carried across the room quite well.
I wonder if any of the witnesses overheard that part of the conversation?
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Aye. Aye, they did :)
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headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again
#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something#asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao#so then he hates hospitals with a passion#my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so#headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao#im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao#it just made draco that little bit more protective#lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands#this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child#he has sick child energy lmfao#he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently#just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally#breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days#let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast#but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system#got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling#scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha#timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE#(he absolutely was not fine)#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#draco malfoy#hpcc#scorbus#this is so many tags im so sorry
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oatbugs · 4 months
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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ohtendril · 3 months
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two of you. always in sync
#you know what i wasnt gonna do this but i rewatched prodigal son and uh. some of the frames made me crazyyyy this time around#and i love imagery it has to be said#its like. this time around i actually Perceived them. and not watched them like. every time liv looks at el its like. she cant believe it#like she's looking at a ghost. like he's gonna disappear any second#and at the same time. she can barely look him in the eye. she looks at him when he isnt watching. lest he sees. lest he recognizes her#and what shes feeling. lest she recognizes that he still knows her and *sees* her even after all this time. and she cant have it. she wont#so she watches him and observes him like shes both memorizing him and recognizing him.especially in that interrogation room... fuck me bro#that metaphor. of her standing right between el and the suspect. up against that mirror. and we're seeing her reflection.#the present liv the captain watching like a hawk and the past liv. right behind her back in the room with el sensing him and seeing#him getting ready to pounce. like the shot of her with el's fists in the background. oh mama. she just knows “do you need a break detective#and then them being literally divided in some of those shots. by the window binds by kathy and space and actual doors#(and her sliding those doors in the first place and then watching from the other side and the cut to her again watching through the door an#OPENING IT???)#and i havent even talked about el lmao. but it's svu it's supposed to be liv centric (well) but anyway#i havent essayed in the tags in so long i forgot to tag this in the beginning oopsie daisy#svuedit#bensleredit#eo#lawandorderedit#svu#benson x stabler#*mine#*svu
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perilegs · 3 months
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as you can see, keekki is a bit groggy but he was soo brave while getting an x-ray today
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pcktknife · 2 years
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thinking xinyans spikes make her look unappealing........
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da-proti-toku-grem · 23 hours
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how do you know the difference between a huge anxiety attack and a panic attack?
#i think i had a panic attack yesterday but idk......#god it felt so awful and it went on for like 3 hours#but i also had like a hundred things going on so idk if it was like the accumulation of everything or if it was really a panic attack yk#i was at the fair with my family waiting for my best friend to arrive bc i was going to hang out with her#and yk it's a place full of people and we were standing right next to a huge speaker hearing a man talk#and also each place in the fair has different music playing super loud and you can hear all of them at the same time (+ the flashing lights#all that causes me anxiety every since i was little (even if i didn't know it was anxiety back then)#so i *knew* i was going to have the greatest time and i didn't really want to go there in the first place#but even with that i wasn't really haven't a bad time (yet)#we were just stading there and i was waiting for my friend to call me so we could go somewhere else#she called me to tell me she was coming and right when i hung up the phone i felt a really strong pang on my belly#and idk at first i thought it was period cramps but it was weird bc my period had actually stopped that same morning#also i had taken a painkiller right before going there bc all that i mentioned earlier also gives me migraines so there's that too#so yeah the pangs kept getting stronger and it hurt so fucking bad to the point my legs started trembeling#my vision blured and every sound around me seemed to almost fade away#there wasn't any place i could sit down so i gad to cling to my dad and he had to hold me so i didn't fall to the ground#i think i almost (?) fainted in his arms too#after a while the dizzines went away and my dad went to get me smth to drink and i mostly got my hearing and vision back to normal#all that was like 10 minutes max but then the pangs kept hitting every minute or so for the next 3 hours#we found a place to sit and find smth to eat but i couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw up#my legs wouldn't stop shaking like fucking crazy and i kept going from feeling like i was freezing to sweating from how hot i felt#idk i've had smth like this (w/o the pangs) happen to me before a bunch of times but never That strong and it usually lasted 5-10min max#we ended up having to go home and i had to take some more painkillers and my sleeping pills to be able to calm down a little#i'm pretty sure i fell asleep from exhaustion after everything and i'm still feeling a bit weird after almost 24 hours since it happened#anyways. the thing is idk if all that was caused bc of my anxiety#or if it was smth completely unrelated and i just had such a bad tummy ache that it made me feel bad enough to cause All That yknow#i think it felt pretty much like how i've heard people describe a panic attack but again i'm not sure#yeah.........#maca speaks
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daisies-on-a-cup · 6 months
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people hate on jack because he's the only one who remains steadfast and unchanged by hannibal's influence
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hear me out. Ambrose (derogatory) could have been such a good character if he was *actually old* (no that party city beard ain't fooling me).
Like from the beginning it could have been "I'll show him- threatening a new student before orientation, no less- ACK, oof, my back!"
And YW would have been like "Nah don't worry about it old man, I'll fight that Mall staircase or whoever for you. But first let's get you to bed, you haven't taken your meds today."
Like it could've been such a great dynamic between a guy who's knowledgeable and truly wants to help but is way past his prime, and the young apprentice who has no idea what's going on at any given time but is "yeah this dude will 100% keel over from trying to take on the weight of the spiral if I leave him alone for two seconds so I'll knock some heads for him. I like knocking heads anyway >:D"
First off I absolutely love "Ambrose (derogatory)" I'm gonna get that tattooed on my body /j
AND SO LIKE IM KINDA LIKE 🤔 AT THIS SCENARIO (not you anon your idea is absolutely lovely, just thinkin hard about this) BECAUSE LIKE. OKAY HERE'S MY THOUGHT PROCESS
I guess it would be cool to have a YW who instead seems eager and willing to fulfill the role of the Savior instead of dreading it (and it would give a bit of a different face to their relationship mentor/mentee with Ambrose) buuuuuut like in the case that Ambrose is really too old to deal with things himself, instead of whatever reason he doesn't do things in canon, he could always just like find a capable and prepared adult to deal with the nationwide threat of Malistaire INSTEAD of the new kid who's eager to fight
AND THIS ISNT ME DISSING ON YOU ANON I LOVED YOUR IDEA. Like instead of seeing the YW unhappy and resentful and trudging along doing dangerous stuff it's interesting and cool to see where in an alternate universe the YW immediately takes to being a hero and loves the action and does it FOR Ambrose, not just because he told them to. I think that would be very cute if it like, removed the actual issue that Ambrose is still relying on an ill-prepared child to do his work. Whether in canon where the YW is urged to follow Ambrose after Malistaire, or if Ambrose falters and then the YW rushes in to beat his minions up instead, it's still on the Young Wizard to clean up this very adult mess. If this scenario continues on just like canon, the Wizard still ends up being Bartleby's Scion with a tainted Shadow Soul and heaps and heaps of trauma. It just started out a little differently
I HOPE IM NOT SCARING YOU ANON IM NOT SCOLDING YOU IM JUST ANALYZING THIS (please don't be sad I love you anon ty for sending this). Please feel free to send me more of this if you like because it's really interesting tbh. I really.hope I didn't scare you off with this HASKDNDRLSJSJ this was a great ask
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akkivee · 8 months
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there’s usually a q&a section in the hypster magazine where the cast are asked a question and the recent volume had them answer what do they do to relieve stress and tbh bat’s has been on the mind lately lol:
📿: he responded by saying that’s a stupid question since he couldn’t call himself a monk if allowed stress to build up. but if there’s a situation that he has no control over, he goes to surround himself in nature
🌙: he likes weeding the family garden!!! it helps him clear his mind and forget about the things that were bothering him and it makes his family happy to see the garden looking pretty too!!
⚖️: he finds a place where there’s nobody around to scream with all his might. it’s a great feeling since you don’t often get the chance to let out as loud as possible
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evilkitten3 · 7 months
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this image lives in my mind rent free. there's so much here and i really wish the manga had gotten deeper into these two's deeply fucked up relationship bc it's fascinating.
according to wikipedia, yin (the black bit) represents the female/passive/negative principle in nature, while yang (the white part) represents the male/active/positive principle in nature. yin is covert, of the netherworld, the north side of a hill, the south bank of a river, the moon. yang is overt, belonging to this world, the south side of a hill, the north bank of a river, the sun. some other stuff too
the name hyuuga is written with the characters for "sun" and "approach", but the second character can also mean "defy". hinata's first name is just a different reading of the kanji of their surname (which is hilarious but that's not the point), but as a noun "hinata" means "sunny place" or "in the sun". i believe it's also been used to mean "the direction the sun is shining". with the reading "hyuuga", though, the same kanji is also an archaic noun meaning "facing (opposite) the sun". so hinata, the all-but-disowned heiress of the clan, is "a sunny place facing the sun" - both an undeniable part of her family, yet ostracized for her weakness.
neji's name means "screw", or it can refer to a key or a spring in like a watch or a clock or something. there's a few kanji it could be written in, but only one of them caught my eye - 螺旋 is a rarer way of writing "ねじ" (usually just written in hiragana afaik, tho neji the character's name is written in katakana) but the more common reading of 螺旋 is ら(螺)·せん - rasen. if you haven't already caught it, the kanji for rasengan is 螺旋丸­. that's not super relevant, just interesting. anyway, neji who "defies" the main family is one who "faces (opposes) the sun". but at the same time he's its strongest member (or. the one with the most potential. probably most of the jounin hyuuga were stronger than genin neji). so he's "a screw in the sun" - a fundamental piece of the machinery that it may not be able to function without, even if it can't be seen from the outside, like the inner workings of a clock.
idk where i'm going with this i just think these two are fascinating and i would've liked to seen more of them concerning one another
#naruto#naruto shippuden#hyuuga clan#hyuuga family bs#hyuuga neji#hyuuga hinata#people try really hard to give naruto a sun-moon dynamic with someone but like. that's silly#the narutoverse HAS sun-moon symbolism. just with hinata and neji#naruto has his full moon-crescent moon thing with sasuke tho which is also pretty nifty#also i freaking adore how they're positioned there#neji looks down on hinata. hinata looks up to neji#the moon resents the sun for shining but can't has no light without it. the sun doesn't need the moon but gives it light anyway#there was so much that could have been done with this#what they're meant to be vs what they are vs who they choose to become#the POTENTIAL#just realized i'm only ever interested in neji when hinata is also involved. and hinata is much more interesting to me when neji is there#i don't care about neji at all outside of that and i'm not too interested in canon!hinata outside of that either#it's kinda ironic bc when i first got into naruto i couldn't stand neji bc of how he treated hinata#ofc NOW i'm older and understand a bit more of what he was going through but it's still hard for me to like him most of the time#except when it concerns hinata. who is the main reason i didn't like him in the first place#go figure? i guess?#they are sososososososo fucked up and i love it#unrelated note: maybe the reason i can't really get behind naru/hina is bc all the interesting potential i can see just kinda went untouche#naruto au where hinata and neji spend the two year timeskip plotting a revolt and they kill hiashi while he's fighting hizashi#then while the war is going on they're running around in the background freeing every hyuuga they can find#naruto wins the war and turns around to see hinata completely restructuring the clan and takes inspiration for the village#he works with sasuke and sakura and the others to try and fix All That Shit#THAT'S a naru/hina i could get behind#also. when they kill hiashi i don't imagine it being like a ''mwahaha vengeance'' thing it'd be more like a tragedy#there'd be a flashback of how close hizashi and hiashi were as children and how growing up the way they did messed them up
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