#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

[luvrxbunny]

gullible

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x F!Reader

Prompt: Breeding

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, a lot of body descriptions, reader is on the curvier side, some grinding/dry humping, male masturbation (barely), ovulation, piv, unprotected sex (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 4.7k

A/N: lets say spider society is funded by the most rish spider-people and thats what the dinner was for. also this is long asf- i blacked out im so sorry 

It’s a formality. This whole dinner party. It’s something Miguel gets invited to every year and every year he dreads going to it, having to play posh in order to get some extra funding from the higher-ups. Although, he doesn’t mind too much this year because he’s bringing you. 

He’s fidgeting, and complaining about his collar when you come out of the bathroom, you’re asking him if you look okay and he knows his answer before he looks at you. He knows you look good, he tells you so before turning to you and only reassures you upon gazing at the outfit. 

This dress is new, and you’re worried your tummy might be too big for it so you’ve thrown a coat over to hide it. Miguel knows what the coat is really for but doesn't mention it, not wanting to risk making you so uncomfortable you change out of everything. He compliments your new perfume instead, winning a confused smile from you. You’re fidgeting with the coat on the ride to the venue, saying that it’s itchy and you’re getting too warm. He suggests you take it off but you gently refuse and stop complaining. 

He gets dragged away from you the moment he walks through the door. He hates leaving you alone at these things, he knows you don’t socialize well and he knows the men here want a taste of you. He’s anxious to get back to you for the entire hour these deep pockets talk his ear off. He hasn’t been listening, he’s thinking about you. He’s almost overwhelmed at the love he has for you, he’s never felt this way before. He’s missing you even though you guys are in the same place, even though he’s only been away from you for an hour. He can’t get out of there fast enough, shoving the doors of the conference room open and searching for you immediately. 

When his eyes find you, they find that you’ve already taken your jacket off and you’re socializing with an entire group of people. They’re conversing with you comfortably. You bring a smile to his face as you laugh at someone’s joke. His eyes rake over your body, finally taking in your true outfit. 

It has him stiffening in his pants. You’re wearing a dark red pencil dress, the same color as his suit. It hugs your curves perfectly, doing justice to your plush thighs, your ass and showcasing the curve of your back. His favorite part though, is the way it hugs your front. Your boobs look great, sure, but it’s emphasizing the little pooch that sits at the bottom of your stomach. 

You hate it, saying it makes you look fat, that you wish you could get rid of it… but in Miguel’s eyes? It’s just proof you’re the perfect woman to mother his children. He came to this conclusion before he even knew about your tummy. He had seen your wide hips, your care toward others, how good you are with children, and decided he wanted you. 

Once he got you to date him, to fall in love with him, he found out about your little belly fat. You’d been sucking it in as much as you could whenever you were around him, sometimes wearing higher pants than necessary in hopes of the jeans pushing your stomach down. It broke his heart to hear you so insecure but there was also a little flame igniting in his stomach. 

The flame never left. He didn’t tell you about it, but every time he noticed your belly pushing against your tank top, or a tight shirt, whenever he felt your soft tummy on his hard stomach- through the t-shirt you insist on wearing while he fucked you- the fire raged brighter. He added it to the list of reasons you’d be an amazing child-bearer. He’s obsessed with the protective fat over your womb. 

He watches you cover your stomach with your arm as you laugh, not even realizing you’re trying to hide his favorite part of you. He’s walking over to you before he plans out what he’ll say. He just stands beside you, inhaling your sweet perfume, and waiting for you to feel his presence, it doesn't take long. You turn to him with a surprised smile and give him an excited hug. “Miguel!”

His heart expands at your excitement upon his arrival, he wraps an arm around your waist and presses you against him. Your voice is muffled as you speak to him. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!” He’s not listening though. 

To any outsider, it looked like Miguel just really missed you, when in reality, he was making sure you could feel what you do to him. You let out a pretty sigh into his ear once you feel his bulge press into you. Your eyes are on his as you pull away, searching them for a reason as to why he’s hard but all he’s too busy taking in every piece of you. 

You’re both lost in your own world, you don’t realize the people you were talking to have moved on from your conversation, talking with some other people now and leaving you and Miguel to your moment. 

His hands are resting on your hips before one slides behind you, pressing his open palm against the small of your back before the other presses against your lower stomach, right over your uterus. Miguel can feel your stomach tense under his hand as you suck in, tightening your muscles but Miguel just tuts and tilts his head at you, disappointed. “Don’t do that, cariño. I love her.” Your gaze is on the floor as you listen to him, he sounds drunk, his voice is distant and hazy. 

His head is cloudy with fantasies. He can see your stomach, how it would grow and swell as you create his child inside you. He thinks about how beautiful you would look with your womb stuffed full of him. He swears she’s calling for him- your womb- begging him to fill her up, paint your walls white until his seed takes, maybe a little more after that just to be safe. 

You can see his thoughts racing, you can tell he’s working himself up, you just don’t understand what is doing this to him. His hand on your stomach is making you a bit self-conscious, but your muscles have been too tight for too long, and they give out. Your soft tummy relaxes and presses into his hand, pulling a relieved sigh from Miguel. His breathing picks up and his eyebrows furrow before he looks up from your stomach, looking into your eyes instead. “You know I love this, right?”

He looks back down at your belly as he readjusts his palm, opening his hand wider to cover more of your pooch. You whine and shift uncomfortably, the way his hand is resting over your womb is hot, it’s turning you on but you’re barely aware of that fact because anxiety is overrunning everything. You’re waiting for Miguel to slip up, for you to see a crack in his lies. You appreciate the attempt at making you feel better about your body but you don’t- you can’t believe him. 

Until you look up into his eyes. 

They’re drowning in need, his pupils entirely blown out, covering most of the red in his eyes. He’s gazing at you as he slowly pulls you in and presses his plump lips against yours with a moan. You pull away quickly and look around, a few people looking your way at Miguel’s louder-than-safe moan. You look back up at him to warn him, tell him to keep it down but the words die on your tongue. His eyes are hazy and confused, still looking at your lips like he can’t figure out why you pulled away. You smile at him incredulously and pull his hand away from your back but he whimpers when you try and take his hand off your womb. 

“Miguel, we’re public, baby.” Your voice is soft yet frantic, and his eyes are still begging you. “People are staring…” That gets a reaction, his face twitches and his eyes clear and harden a bit. He looks around the room with a snarl and you have to pull his gaze back to you. 

“Hey! What’s gotten into you?” The question hurts him a bit as he thinks it over, he really is trying to pinpoint why this is affecting him so much.  All he can focus on is you though, your scent enveloping him like a cloud. It smells like everything good, like flowers and honey, but also clean like soap and linen. It’s suffocating him, stopping all thought. 

“You smell so good, amor. What is that? I don’t recordar buying este para ti.” His voice is muffled as he buries his face in the top of your head, looking for the source of your scent. You’ve had enough, he’s doing all of this in the middle of the party, and you’re starting to feel a bit embarrassed. You’re pushing him back, slowly walking him to the edges of the party. You feel people staring until you finally hit a wall, pushing a grunt from Miguel. “What is up with you?” Your tone is gentle but you’re getting concerned, you’ve never seen him like this.

His eyes are shut tightly as his brows furrow and he lets out a pathetic whimper. “I’m sorry. I- I don’t know.” His hand leaves your stomach to bury in his hair and you instantly miss its warmth. You take a step closer to him, waiting for him to say more. “Can we leave? I think we’ve been here long enough, yeah?” He’s already pulling your hand to the exit. 

He’s silent in the car and on the drive home, constantly running his hand through his hair, and bouncing the leg that isn't on a pedal. You’re taking in his frantic state and notice that through all this, he’s still hard. “Miguel…” He gasps softly and turns to you for a moment. “What’s wrong?

“I don’t-” His eyes dart to your form. “ Your dress for one.” You glance down and wish you hadn’t, you see your stomach split into rolls, folding the fabric of your dress, accentuating the it’s softness. Your arms cross over it, trying to hide and Miguel groans.

“Don’t do that, I told you.” His voice sounds painful and strained. You look back at him to see a distressed look on his face and his hand palming his throbbing cock through his suit pants. “I fucking love her.” His breathing gets heavy, causing him to inhale more of your painfully sweet perfume. “What the fuck is that smell, baby?” 

You can hear him take a big inhale of the air in the car and a shiver runs up his spine. “I’m…” You struggle to round up enough thoughts to answer him, too distracted by the way he crushes his dick against his thigh and the little moans that accompany his movements.  “I’m not wearing perfume, Miguel.”

That's when it hits him. Why he’s so desperate for you, why your scent is clouding his every thought and taking over his mind… You’re ovulating. 

A broken groan rips from his throat at the realization, he speeds the rest of the way home. When you guys finally arrive he parks in the driveway and unlocks the doors, but doesn’t move. “I need you to get out, bonita.”

You feel arousal settle in your stomach as you press your legs together. Miguel’s head falls back, and his hair falls with his head, revealing his red-tipped ears. His hips are still gently thrusting into his hand, the other is squeezing the wheel so hard you thought it might crack. “I- I need a moment, baby. I’ll explain everything, just go inside and-” He lets out a breathless curse and his hips stutter against his palm. “And go change and just- just wait for me, okay? I’ll be there in a moment, go.” You’re in a trance as he speaks but the force in his command shakes you out of it. 

You leave the car silently and make your way to his place. You change out of your clothes in a daze, putting on a tank top and one of his sweatpants as you try to process what just happened. You grab a blanket and wait for Miguel on the couch. 

It’s only a few minutes before you hear his footsteps approaching the door. You stand in front of the doorway, oddly nervous as you watch the knob turn. His eyes meet yours the moment the door opens, his eyes stay on yours as he ducks through the frame, and takes his shoes off. They only tear from yours to take in your new outfit, your lower belly is the first place his eyes land. He gets that weak look in his eye you’ve been seeing all night and his breathing picks up.

Miguel notices the way your stomach sucks in for a moment before relaxing, letting your body be as she is and it making him feral. He needs you so bad, he wants to just take you right here but he promised you an explanation. His eyes flicker up to you and he takes a shaky deep breath and tries to keep his voice steady. “Have a seat, hermosa.”

He looks nervous, he keeps wiping his hands on his suit pants as you walk over to sit on the couch, he seats himself at the other end, across from you. You’re turned to him, legs crossed and laying in his lap. He turns to face you more and accidentally places your legs over his bulge, you can feel his thighs tense as he folds in half, letting out a choked moan that he tries to cover as a cough. You let him think he got away with it, he leaves your legs over his bulge, giving him enough stimulation to think straight. 

You’re looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain and he decides to just rip the band-aid off. “You’re-” Arousal stabs in his stomach at the sentence he has to utter. He bites into his lip and tries to regulate his breathing. “You’re o- ovulating.” Your legs shift in his lap as your expression falls, embarrassed. “And I can smell it.” 

Your legs pull out of his lap quickly and you bring your knees to your chest. “What?!” You sit up and tuck your legs under you, sitting on your calves. “You can smell it? I’m- God that’s so- I’m so sorry.”

His mind is getting hazy again without your contact. “No. Cariño, not that. It’s not like that.” He sighs at your confusion, he wishes you understood how desperate he was, maybe then you wouldn’t ask him to talk so much, maybe you’d just let him fuck you already. “It’s more like pheromones.”

His hand slides across the couch cushion, wraps around your ankle and slowly drags you toward him. “It’s a change in your personal scent. Your body is trying to trick mine into breeding you, and guess what?” He’s pulled you straight and is crawling up your body, slowly lowering himself against you so his bulge is pressing against your pussy, right over your clit.

 He’s so hard he’s able to split your lips, rubbing the cloth of his sweatpants against your naked pussy and you gasp at the feeling. Your hands slide up from his biceps to pull his head in, anxiously awaiting the rest of his sentence. He smirks at the eager look on your face and leans in, just inches from your lips, and whispers against them. “My body is so gullible for you.” You whimper.

You can feel your entire being heating up as he kisses you so intensely, like he’s trying to devour you. He’s groaning against your lips and licking into your mouth as he wrestles his jacket off. Your hands shoot to his belt and struggle to get it off, whining into the kiss when his belt gets caught on the loops. He smiles into you and his hands come to rest over yours. “Tranquila, bebe. I’m the desperate one, remember?”

You shake your head his words and let him take his pants off while you wiggle out of his sweats. He moans at your bare pussy and his arms give out for a moment, almost dropping his weight on you before catching himself. “N-no panties?” His fingers are on you, rubbing your clit and spreading your slick all over you, coating his fingers in it. He’s being downright messy.

“Miggy- Miguel, I need it so bad- need you so bad. I love you so much. You’re so-” Your mind is already gone as you grind up into his fingers, overwhelmed by the added pleasure of his desperation. He’s groaning into your ear as he humps himself against your thigh in time with his fingers. 

“I don’t know. I need-” You cut him off with a moan and he smiles as you apologize in between whimpers. “I think I’d need to cum in you, cariño. I need- My brain can only focus on-” He groans as you writhe against him, pushing your thigh into his crotch. His head lowers to rest against yours as his fingers speed up inside you. He can feel the way you’re coating them, soaking every crevice with your sweetness. He can feel the way they’re sliding inside you, the way your walls are squeezing him, it’s too much. “I can only think about cumming in you, bebe.” 

Truthfully, his thoughts were more focused on what would come afterward, watching you swell with his child but you guys haven’t even had a conversation about kids yet.

“No.” You whine at him, he feels sadness shoot through his stomach but he tries to mask it. “Just fuck me, please?” You’re looking up at him with puppy dog eyes, your hands around his neck pulling his face impossibly closer as your lips try and lock with his. He nods at you gently, he wants to give you anything you could possibly want.

“Okay, amor.” He kisses you quickly before taking his hands off of you and starts unzipping his pants, pulling himself out of his boxers while you wait. You watch him for a bit as he gets undressed before a thought pushes into your head.

What if I took my top off this time? 

You think it over for a second, you want to be yourself with him, completely and he’s explained his love for your tummy over and over again. 

What could be the worst that happens?

Images of Miguel’s face twitching in disgust flash through your head. Unrealistic scenarios of Miguel pulling away, starting to reject your advances and your kisses plague your brain. 

He wouldn’t do that. 

You take a deep breath and bite the bullet, pulling your tank top over your head quickly and Miguel freezes, causing an abundance of discomfort on your end. You thought this was something he’d want, something he’d like, now that you’ve exposed yourself though, he’s silent. 

You try to stand strong, but your hands are twitching at your sides to cover your stomach. You pray to whatever god there may be that you somehow gain the ability to read his mind, to see his thoughts, to force him to say something… anything. 

His cock pulsing. He’s never seen you completely shirtless, despite being together for over a year. He never wanted to push you, too scared that he’d push you away. He’s seen you with no top but only with a towel over your stomach, or pants pulled over your stomach as you change. But now? Her full glory was on display, there’s a little curve underneath, separating your tummy from your pussy and he’s in love. 

His eyes are zeroed in on your naked stomach and your hands come up to cover it, legs pulling inward as you fold into yourself. He can’t have that. “Don’t” 

His voice is sharp and dark, a strong command but you don’t listen, covering your stomach fully. “It was a bad idea. I’m so uncomfortable, Mig. Can-” You let out a heartbreaking sigh. “Can you just pass me my top?” You threw it down just out of reach and your hands are occupied covering your stomach. Embarrassment is coursing through every vein.

How are we gonna move on from this? I fucking killed the shit out of the mood. Fuck. God, I hate this. 

“No.” He’s moving back toward you, climbing up your body again, ignoring the obvious confusion you’re facing. You curl in even more which just upsets him. He grabs your leg and pulls, forcing you out of your ball before pinning it under his own. “Uh-” You let out a noise of surprise but Miguel pays it no mind as he reaches for your arms. He takes both of your wrists in his hand and pins them above your head, holding them there as he admires your tummy. 

Your heart is racing but you don’t struggle. Miguel is looking at you like to most amazing piece of art and you’d do anything- anything- for him to keep going. You feel yourself leaking between your legs as he just stares. His breathing is slow and shaky and his brows keep furrowing, like he’s having an internal battle with himself. He takes another breath and exhales through his mouth, letting his breath fan over your face before releasing your wrists and leg. 

He’s waiting for you to pull your hands back down, cover one of your most beautiful features… but you don’t. 

Instead, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in. “Can you please, please, fuck me now?” His face twitches before he smiles, taking a deep breath as he pulls away. He kisses your chest as he slowly rises, his hand already on his cock, pumping himself gently as he aligns himself with your entrance. You’re gripping the cushions with all your strength as he works himself in. 

He’s worried. You feel insane around him, the softest thing he’s ever felt, extra wet and open for him to breed you. His mind keeps wandering back to cumming inside you, even though you said no. He’s walking the line of some dangerous thoughts. 

I am stronger than her…

He shakes the thought out of his head and focuses on you. The way you’re moaning his name like it’s the only thing you know, your hips are growing frantic as the grind up against him. “Miggy-“

“Amor.” He smiles at the moan that rips from your chest as you bury yourself in his neck. His hips speed up at the sounds of your moans right next to his ear, your breath tickling the shell of it.  

“‘M gonna- “ Miguel cuts you off with a growl and his brows furrow. He doubles down on his thrusts, bringing his hands to the small of your back, gripping you hard and fucking you into his cock. 

It’s going to take a serious amount of focus to keep his orgasm at bay until you’re done. “Go- Fuck. No, just wait, baby.” You let out a confused noise at his command. He’s never asked you to hold it before. 

“Fuck! Mi- I don’t know how!” Your sentence turns into a sob as he watches your body tense up, pulling all your muscles tight and gripping the roots of his hair. “Haah- Miguel. Baby, I ca- an’t. Please let-“ 

A moan stops your sentence as Miguel presses onto your womb, forcing his cock against your walls, stretching you even more. You feel so full you don’t know what’s happening. Your eyes are wide as you stare at his hand, slowly looking up to meet his eyes. They’re frantic, desperate and wild when they meet yours. 

His panting aggressively, intermittently pausing so he can try and regulate his breathing. You’re staring into his eyes, shocked at his reaction and a smirk pushes its way into your face before you moan at him again. He pulls his hand away from your womb like it burned him and pulls out, gripping the base of his cock so hard it must hurt. 

You were so close, teetering on the edge, just hearing Miguel utter your name could’ve tipped you over… but he pulled out instead. “Miguel!!! Why? I- I’ve been good, haven’t I?” 

Your desperate pleads are worsening his situation. He ignores your words and starts rubbing your clit, his fingers moving over the little bud lightning fast. “I’m not punishing you, bebé bonita”

You whine at the love name and grip his arm, trying to pull him closer to you. “No puedo correrme dentro de ti and I’m… I’m too close right now, cariño.”

You’re trying to push his hand away now, shaking your head and whining. “S’okay”

Your yanking at his arm, trying to get him back over you. “Cum inside, Miggy.” 

His eyes widen and he doesn’t move. He honestly thinks he’s hearing things at this point, fantasizing without realizing but you’re look at him all shy and expectant. So you actually said something… “W-“ He takes a deep breath. “What?”

You whine at him and avert your eyes as your legs slowly spread for him. “You- You wanted to, right? I want it…” You whine at the thought. “I need it, Miggy.”

His vision blurs as he reaches out for you, lining himself up as quickly as he can. He can already feel his balls pulsing, tensing and preparing a load for you, for your pussy, your womb. 

It’s worse than the first time he ever had sex with you. Every nerve is alight, he can feel every little detail in your pretty, perfect pussy. On top of that, you’re moaning like he’s never heard before, louder, more high pitched, more desperate than earlier and they’d already shocked him then. He can’t. 

“Mm- Not- fuck. I’m not gonna last. Not even a min- shit. Oh my god, cariño. Not even gonna last a minute. Fuck me, niña bonita.” Your almost screaming his name at his words, his languid pace and the way he’s literally shaking for you. “Gonna- shi-it.” His words sound like broken sobs as his tip gently abuses your cervix. 

You’ve pulsing around him, trying everything you can to wait for him so you can milk him while he pumps you full. “I’m gonna cum. Fuck. I’m gonna cum in- in you, baby. Voy a follarte un bebé, amor. Te dejaré embarazada, te mantendré llena de mí en todo momento. Mierda. Te verás tan hermosa, manteniendo a nuestro bebé protegido en tu grueso útero. Oh, joder"

(“I'm going to fuck a baby into you, love. I will get you pregnant, I'll keep you full of me at all times. Shit. You will look so beautiful, keeping our baby protected in your thick womb. Oh fuck.”)

Your eyes roll back and the coil in your stomach snaps as Miguel rambles, hips thrusting into yours gently, his gaze on the back of his skull. You’re fucking yourself on him as best you can in this position. It’s awkward and over-exerting but completely worth it when you hear a whine of your name and Miguel’s cock starts throbbing inside you. 

Twitching once, twice, before hardening even more and pouring a torrent of cum into your waiting pussy. He’s the loudest you’ve ever heard. Moaning out your name on repeat, thanking you for letting him cum in you with a lot of other Spanish sentences in between. 

His hand presses to your womb as he winds down but his cock twitches out another load as he pushes down, fucking into you slowly again. “Te amo tanto, mi querida. No puedo imaginar la vida sin ti. Una vida en la que no tendrás mis hijos, en la que no estemos casados…” His entire body shudders as he finally stops pouring into you. 

(“I love you so much, my dear. I can’t imagine life without you. A life where you don’t bear my children, in which we aren’t married…”)

He leans down and kisses you slowly, eyes hooded but still focused on you. Your eyes are teary and trying to shut, exhausted from the entire night. Miguel keeps pressing kisses all over you as you drift off. 

“Un mundo sin ti es uno en el que no podría vivir, amor.”

(“A world without you is one I couldn't live in, love.”)

Thank you so mcuh for reading! If you enjoyed, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!

[echo-and-dust]

now that my brain has somewhat unscrambled itself i have gotten most of my thoughts in order about season 3.

and the first thing i will say is: i loved it.

while it was gutwrenching and polarizing in some ways and i feel that i am entitled to financial compensation for what its done to my mental health, i loved this season for pretty much almost everything it did.

i cannot fault people for having issues with much of the characterization and plot choices made—that’s been the trend during the entire run of the show after all, and imo it’s a testament to the phenomenal way it generates nuance—but i wanted to share my feelings on the recurring opinions i’ve seen about some of these things.

first, i do not blame simon at all for the things he said in the final scene. he’s a child who has been receiving endless verbal and physical harassment on top of all the trauma he is still trying to heal from. he just watched his boyfriend lash out in anger and hurt—while not at him, but it must’ve been a close resemblance of how he might’ve seen micke act. at least, that's what i thought, though i've seen others say otherwise.

and yes, wille is not micke, but just because wille’s source of outbursts is different from micke’s doesn’t mean simon is wrong in drawing similarities. at least he's finally getting a true glimpse into what wille has had to deal with. i've honestly grown to like that they didn't have simon immediately comfort him though; wille's mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility, and instead of pushing a message of unhealthy co-dependence, the show has simon be honest: "but i see that everything hurts you and that hurts me too." and to me, that's so important.

plus, it doesn't make their love any less genuine. wille is a victim of the circumstances; he is not evil, and he is not undeserving of simon. he just has a lot of growing and healing to do, a lot of unlearning and exposure therapy because he's still blinded by privilege even when he tries not to be.

speaking of, i have so many thoughts about wille that i feel like i need to save for its own separate post, but to sum them up: i'll still defend him with my life, and he needs to get the fuck away from that institution.

also, the fact that the responsibility of controlling simon's media decisions was placed solely on wille confused me at first like—why wouldn't they get a professional to give him proper media training?

then i realized, this could be the royal court's way of sabotaging their relationship. they knew that making wille the one to tell simon what he can and cannot say or post would create distance and animosity between them. despite the ramifications of simon's behavior on social media, it seems they still thought it best to have his boyfriend be the one to try to mold him into the system. because they knew that's how they could get rid of him. in conclusion, fuck the royal court (we been knew but still).

one of the standouts this season was their transparency regarding the show's politics. it not only works well with the show's arc (wilmon is public, everything's out in the open now and there's nothing to hide), but also it felt necessary at a time where censorship has been rapidly gaining momentum. it felt so refreshing for these characters to talk so openly about racial discrimination and queerphobia and class disparities, forcing both character and viewer to acknowledge that they exist and you should feel uncomfortable about it.

i don't think i can add much more to what was already said about it—most of the fandom is more eloquent and observant than i am anyway—i just wanted to reinforce how important this season is to myself and the story even with how controversial it is to fans right now. a lot of people may disagree with me and that's fine.

[chris-continues]

SUMMARY: in which you kiss (beta design) Vash <3

TW: a bit suggestive? You kiss. That’s it.

TAGS: @millionsvash @h4venpha @vashfantasy @macncherries @captaintweet

Your traveling companion was.. a rather quirky man, to say the least.

He brandished a bright red coat, clunky, round glasses, and most importantly, a mask. All of which overshadowed the rest of his lanky form, an attempt to distract from his appearance under the mask. That of which, was never revealed to you. Your curiosity perpetually poked at you from time to time- what was he hiding?

Everyone had their own share of secrets, of things they’d rather keep to themselves, and the last thing you wanted to do was to pry. Even when you both had gotten closer to one another, quite literally, as you were pressed in an alleyway awaiting for the coast to clear-

His mask never came off.

His torso pressed against yours, chest rising and falling rapidly. You could feel it from underneath your hands- he’d had to stabilize your stop earlier when you rushed into your hiding spot. You didn’t have the guts to move. Not that you really wanted to. God, you longed for him, and the lack of room between you two was something you had to savor right now. His gaze darted away from you, your breath tickling his jaw. Apart of you truly hoped people would continue their chase in pursuit of you two- if only to remain this close to him.

“Uhm-“ you paused, lips brushing his jaw accidentally.

A shiver ransacked his entire being as his arms, which were propping himself up on the wall behind you, shook slightly. “Ah, sorry-“

“Please.. quiet..” he pleaded, his mask shifting as his lips moved. You swore you could feel him biting his lip, fidgeting to the best of his ability.

You squirmed. A nervous habit.

“…mayfly…”

You tried to pull back, observing him. In the time you’ve known him, he’s relatively hard to read. Mask and all, obscuring the majority of his facial features (save for his eyes, hidden behind round orange lenses). The pinch of his brows gave way to his uneasiness.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” You murmured, voice rumbling slightly.

He shook his head, eyes heady. His dark lashes fluttered oh so beautifully, mole peeking a bit past his mask. His reply was breathy. “You.. you can’t keep teasing me like this.”

You blink owlishly. Once. Twice. So you weren’t assuming things.

"Do you want me to stop..?" You drew your question out, heart thrumming in your chest. Zeroing in, awaiting his reply. He gave a brief shake of his head, eyes wide. As if it would kill him, he clung to any crumb of affection you had to offer. You hoped it wasn't circumstantial, knowing full well that if he had asked the same of you that you would absolutely never refuse.

In a flashing moment of bravery, you pecked his cheek. The fabric of his mask felt smooth on your lips, a small kissing sound resonating in the tight space between you two. Then his lips moved from underneath the mask, upturning the corner of his eyes cheekily.

"Hah.. you uh.. you missed." "Huh?"

You felt fabric against your lips once again, although you really wish you didn't. Curiosity pried at you, as feverish as the kiss. What was once a chaste meeting of lips separated by that godforsaken mask turned into him cupping your face, your back pressed to the wall amidst the barren alleyway. You felt his chest heaving against yours, the repetitive motion comforting, in a sense.

He felt.. so warm. So comforting. His palms to your cheeks, enveloping your face in its immeasurable value. Pure want coursed throughout you, appreciation seeping into the kiss. Perhaps one day, he'd be able to bare himself to you, to meet the plush of his lips, flesh to flesh as you breathed one another in. Perhaps one day, you'd be able to pepper kisses on his bare face the way you'd imagined every few times where you allowed your mind to wander. He was a beauty in your eyes, his lashes fluttering in a demure fashion whenever he pulled away, only to kiss you once more.

But for now? You were content with the press of your bodies, flush to one another as you felt the fabric of his mask dampen, the movement of what you knew to be his lips meeting yours.

[buckyalpine]

Curves

18+

I got a request for this, but this is also an exact beauty/body image issue I struggle with heavily. You’d be surprised how awful people are and how quick they are to openly comment on other peoples bodies.

Also I intended for this to be a lil more soft but we ended with a lil more smut. There's both. Sorry. 

Warnings: Angst, body insecurity, bullying, fluff because Bucky is a sweet heart, Soft smutt, sexy smut, lottsa smuuutt

“Okay, boobs or ass?”

“Ass”

You shook your head over hearing a conversation between some of the new recruits at the compound; they were childish and you shouldn’t have cared about what they were talking about but it still rubbed you the wrong way. Couldn’t they at least whisper? You tried to block out their conversation, going back to your workout while they continued to snicker and stare at others in the gym. 

“No, seriously, I’d rather a girl have no boobs at all and a fat ass over no ass and big tits” 

You sucked in a breath, shaking off the way the comment made you feel. It wasn’t directed at you but it may as well have been. It wasn’t the first time you had heard someone talk about how important a nice ass was to them. You were immediately thrown back to every moment someone had pointed out how your butt was too small. Your mind was plagued with all the other comments people had made about your body in the past.  

Ass too small.

Not curvy enough.

Big chest.

Shoulders too wide. 

You never felt good enough. It didn’t help that guys from past relationships always talked about how they wished your body was a little different; there was always a flaw that had to be fixed. Why did no one ever just love you and find you beautiful the way you were? No one had ever just appreciated your body for what it was. 

You knew Bucky adored you with his entire being but you couldn’t imagine he actually loved your body for what it was. You couldn’t bring yourself to believe him when he said it was beautiful. He was perfect. Handsome. Sweet. Loving. You didn’t understand why he was with you; he belonged with someone that looked better than you. 

You sped off to the showers before the tears started, threatening to spill down your cheeks any second. You knew what the fuck your body looked like. You worked out as much as you could to try and add some side to your lower half but it didn’t make much of a difference. You always had a large chest but your butt didn’t match. 

It didn’t help that everyone talked so much about celebrating curves and yours just felt like they were in the wrong places. Everyone on social media had the perfect lower body; at the very least they seemed to be in proportion.

You felt unattractive. Uncomfortable in your own skin. 

You let the hot shower water drown out your sniffles, pulling yourself together so you could head down for dinner. The issue was silly anyway; there were bigger problems in the world and you had to move on. 

If only it were that easy. 

“Everything okay y/n?” Tony smiled at you softly, noticing you hadn’t eaten a thing, your plate untouched while everyone else had almost finished. 

“I’m okay” You gave him a strained smile, poking some of the food around with your fork, “Just tired, I think I’m going to sleep a little early” 

Bucky watched you carefully, frowning as you covered your plate with some foil and popped it in the fridge for later; he could tell something was off. You smile didn’t meet your eyes and your face had been puffy. You had been crying. 

“Good night” The rest of the team wished you good night while you trudged to your room. You couldn’t shake the way you felt, wanting to just curl up in bed and shut the world out for a little while. Your own little bubble where the way your body looked just didn’t matter. 

You slipped on an over sized t-shirt and crawled into bed, curling up in a ball when you heard the door click open a few minutes later. You pulled the covers higher over yourself, wanting to hide yourself from everyone, including Bucky. 

“Hey sweet heart” His heart sank looking at the little ball that stayed hidden under the covers. He so badly wanted to scoop you up and ask you what was wrong but you buried yourself further. 

“I-I’m tired” 

Bucky swallowed thickly, he knew there was something that bothered you but he respected that you didn’t want to talk about it yet. He kissed your head, giving you some space while he slipped under the covers to go to sleep. 

You couldn’t sleep. 

Your mind kept going back to the agents at the gym. 

It tore you apart. Your other teammates were gorgeous. So many other perfect recruits with toned bodies, ones that always looked perfect.  

Then there was you. The insecurity dug its heels in deeper and you let it eat you away silently. 

It had been weeks. 

Weeks of you avoiding Bucky, only letting him give you a peck on the cheek or a hug with one arm. You had stopped changing in front of him and curled up away from him instead of cuddling each night. You didn’t want Bucky to see you naked, to touch you, or feel you. You didn’t want his hands on something that felt so fucking unlovable and awful, how had he been with you so many times before, you didn’t understand. 

You were so stuck in your own head, you didn’t notice the way he always trailed after you, hoping you’d talk to him or tell him what was wrong. He missed his doll and you didn’t even look his way anymore. It broke him. 

Tony’s Party 

You stood by the couch while the team lounged around together; the seats on the couch occupied by Nat, Steve and Bucky. Bucky smiled at you softly, gently tugging your hand, pulling you to sit on his lap like you had done countless times before. 

"Baby, why are you standing, just sit on my la-

“No!” You pulled your hand away quickly, you couldn't understand why he was still with you when he could have had anyone he wanted. It felt like a sick joke.  “N-no, its okay” You shook your head, scrambling away from Bucky, hardly registering the pained expression on his face, why didn’t you want to even sit with him anymore? 

You made sure there was enough distance between your both, not wanting to sit in his lap, your insecurities seeping further. He probably felt uncomfortable each time you sat on him. 

“I-I’m going to grab a drink” You hurried off to the bar, grabbing a drink and wandering off to an empty hall trying to pull yourself together. All your emotions felt like they were at an all time high, missing the sweet soft touch of your boyfriend, hating how you looked in your dress, wishing you could look better for him, wishing you loved your own body. You downed your drink, deciding to go back to your room instead, a part of you wondering if you should tell Bucky but you couldn’t bring yourself to go back to the party. 

Bucky searched the crowd for you, feeling uneasy when you didn’t come back and he didn’t see you anywhere. He made his way up to your shared bedroom, his heart relaxing a little when he saw the soft glow of the light from under the door. You yelped seeing Bucky standing by the door, clutching your towel as you came out from the bathroom. You changed out of your dress and took a hot shower, ready to change into your comfy clothes. You stared at Bucky wide eyed, gripping onto your towel for dear life, he couldn’t see you like this, there was no way he was attracted to this. 

“Y/n? Baby, why did you leave” He shut the door softly behind him, his heart hurting when you almost looked scared, the skin on you knuckles pulled taut with how hard you were making sure the towel stayed up. 

“Sorry” You whispered, hoping to run into the closet to change but Bucky took two strides, standing right in front of you. He always loved how you looked right after a shower, his gorgeous angel, her face bare and fresh. You were perfect. 

“When will you talk to me baby” His hand tiled your chin up to look at him but you bit your lip, pulling away. “What’s wrong y/n?”

“Nothing’s wrong” You took a few steps back, shaking your head, your throat beginning to tighten. Bucky let out a frustrated huff, running a hand over his face, he had waited for so long for you to talk to him but you pushed him further away each day. 

“Y/n, I know something’s been bothering you, please baby-

“It’s nothing- 

“That’s not true! You don’t even let me touch you anymore, you’ve been so distant with me, you won’t even tell me why!”

Your heart started to race, you wanted to tell him, fuck, for weeks you wanted to cry in his lap and let him comfort you but you didn’t feel like you deserved it. It was a stupid issue and you should have been able to deal with it yourself. 

“Because- 

“Because why? Why are you pushing me away, did I do something?”

You stared at your feet, not trusting yourself to speak anymore. Bucky took a step closer to you while you continued to shrink away from him. 

“Y/n, please, just talk to me, why are you-

He stopped half way, seeing the pained expression etched on your face, your eyes glassy with tears. 

“Y/n?”

“B-ecause- You cut yourself off, breaking down into sobs, the past weeks of criticizing yourself finally taking its toll. You continued to clutch onto your towel, hiding your face with your other hand while Bucky pulled you into his arms, wrapping you tightly against him. 

“Sweet heart come here” He cradled your body, kissing the top of your head, scooping you up so he could sit with you in his lap. He sat up against the head board, careful to make sure you towel didn’t slip off, tucking you against him, keeping you secure in his arms. “Why’s my baby so upset” His lips brushed against your forehead, peppering soft kisses onto your skin, letting you cry as much as you needed. He held you until your cries reduced to soft sniffles, your face hidden in his neck. 

“What’s wrong my angel”  He stroked your hair while you swallowed thickly; you could only avoid the subject for so long. 

“I-I don’t like how my body looks” You whispered, your voice muffled while you stayed tucked against his body. 

“What do you mean baby?” Bucky truthfully didn’t understand. He understood some parts; he dealt with his own share of body insecurities. But you were fucking gorgeous, what wasn’t there to like...

“I hate how big my chest is, my butt is too small, I wish I had more curves or just different proportions” You shrugged, while Bucky cupped your face, making you look at him. 

“Baby, your body is perfect exactly the way it is-

“You’re saying that because you like me Bucky” You pouted, while he smiled softly, shaking his head. Only he knew how attracted he was to you long before you’d even started dating. 

“Will you let me show you?” His hand trailed down to your towel, kissing your bare shoulder when he felt your body tense up. “Let me show you what you do to me baby, what no one else does” His lips brushed against your cheek, trailing to your ear, kissing and nipping your neck. “Please baby, I’ve missed you so much” 

The desperation in his voice made your heart flutter, his hands roaming on your body, stroking up your thigh, moving you to lay under him. He had waited for weeks to feel his princess under him and he was ready to spend the entire night showing you how perfect your body was. You bit your lip, hesitating to let him take your towel off, your heart racing when he moved your hand away. 

“James...” 

“Baby, I’ve seen this gorgeous body naked 100 times before, there’s a reason I leave the lights on, I want to look. Fuck, I love what I see y/n, please, just let me... 

He pulled your towel off, groaning at your naked body under his, his eyes shamelessly raking up and down your skin. He momentarily got off you to toss his clothes off, crawling back on top of you, his thick hard cock bobbling between his legs. He straddled your waist, his cock sitting perfectly between your tits, smearing precum between the soft flesh. 

“You make my cock leak baby. You don’t understand sweetheart, I know I love you but fuck I’m also so attracted to you” He guided your hands to squeeze your chest together, rutting his cock in between, moaning at the way his cock disappeared between the soft mounds, “I fucking love these pretty boobs baby, so warm and soft, perfect to suck on, perfect to fuck, making me feel so good” His head was thrown back, lost in the feeling of the way your tits felt around his cock. 

You could feel your slick drip out of you while Bucky admired your body on top of you, his eyes heavy with lust, relishing in the way it felt to fuck your boobs. You gasped as he pulled away, turning you around so you were flat on your stomach, slotting his cock between your soaked folds, getting it nice and wet before rutting against your ass. 

“And this sweet ass” He bit his lip, grabbing your ass, humping his cock against you, his voice nearly a growl. “Perfect for me to grab, perfect to hold onto. You feel how fucking hard I am baby, you feel what a mess I’m making?” His cock continued to drip onto your skin, making it easier for him to rut against you harder “I have no idea what more I could possibly ask for, your body is perfect the way it is princess” 

You whimpered under him, your pussy clenching around nothing, craving to be filled by him. He smirked, loving the sweet desperate little sounds leaving your lips, he could practically smell your arousal. 

“Come here, I wanna look at this body while I make love to you”  He got off, moving to sit against your headboard. He pulled you to straddle him, lining his cock up with your throbbing cunt, rubbing his cockhead through your folds. 

“Bucky please...” You could feel your heart face, your body heating up with the way he let his eyes trail up and down you. 

“Hmm, don’t rush me princess, you kept me away from this pretty body for way too long” His cock hitched against your core “God your beautiful” He pushed his cock in slowly, pulling your hips down, moaning at the way your walls fluttered around him. You could feel his cock throb, holding still to keep himself from cumming, gripping tightly onto your thighs. “You feel that baby, the way my cock is throbbing in you, can’t even control how much cum there is for you” 

His words made you moan, draping your arms around his shoulders while his lips smashes on to yours. 

“Just feel me baby” He held you close to him, rocking his hips up, one hand  your cheek to make you look at him, the other stroking your back. “Feel what you do to me gorgeous girl, no one else makes me lose control the way you to, you make me so fucking hard, make my balls feel heavy, you make me cum so hard” 

He pulled you flush against him, his hands rubbing down your back, grabbing onto your ass, gripping and squeezing the soft flesh, groaning. “You feel so good princess, you feel me dripping in you?” 

“Fuck Buckyy” You could feel the band in your belly start to tighten, your clit starting to throb, begging for some relief, your orgasm right on edge. “Gonna cum, please”

He started to fuck you faster, guiding your body to bounce on him, meeting his thrusts, sweat beading at his forehead, jaw slack watching the way your boobs bounced each time he slammed you down. He could feel his balls tighten against him, he’d started off his climax as long as he could but he couldn’t hold it off anymore, not with how you looked moaning and clinging onto him. 

“That’s right princess, moan for me baby, say my name sweet heart” His eyes rolled back each time you called for him, he loved nothing more than his pretty baby coming apart for him, he was going take you apart and put you back together all night. His hand trailed down to toy with your clit, rubbing soft tight circles onto your sensitive nub making you clench around him, strangling his cock. “Make a mess on my cock baby, want you to cream all over me, give me your cum babygirl, I want it, fuck, I want it” 

“JamesJamesJAMESFUCK I-I’m GONNa-JAMES”

“Who do you cum for baby, who do you belong to”

“YOU, Fuck Bucky, you, wanna cum, pleaseplease Bucky I-

“Cum for me angel” He sped his fingers up, thrusting into you harder, moaning with you as you fell apart, clinging onto him while he fucked you through your high “Fuck you’re mine baby, this beautiful body, your beautiful soul, its all. Fucking MINE” 

He started to chase his high, his arms wrapped around your body, his blue eyes locked with yours. You could feel every vein, every ridge of his cock harden in you, his thick length swelling, moaning louder, ropes of cum bursting from the tip. 

“Look at me pretty babyyy, you feel how much m’cumming for you doll, fuck, it’s so much, this pretty body is going to be the death of me” You nearly came again watching the way Bucky fell apart for you, clinging your body, his hips rutting into you, milking every single drop out. His moans turned into soft whimpers, overstimulating himself, refusing to leave the warmth of your body. He stayed inside you, moving your body with his to lie down, pulling the blankets to cover you both. 

“You truly are beautiful y/n.” He pushed a strand of hair away from your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Even if you don’t believe me today. Or tomorrow. Doesn’t change the fact that your body is perfect the way it is” 

You smiled softly, your heart feeling a little lighter, though all your insecurities hadn’t faded away yet. Bucky could read your mind, continuing to whisper to you while you nuzzled into his warmth. 

“I’m forever amazed your mine. I’m forever amazed I get to show you off and call you my girl. I’ll never get over the fact that you let me look at you, touch you, feel you, make love to you. I’m so lucky baby. I can promise you, I never once looked at you and thought about wanting to change anything. You had me smitten from day one” 

“You like me” You shrugged, mumbling against his skin. “Feelings influence how you feel-

Bucky rolled his eyes, cutting you off with a kiss to your lips, confessing his dirty little secret shamelessly. 

“Baby, I had my hand down my pants thinking about you way before we started dating. Nothing to do with feelings, I can show you how I used to- 

“Bucky!” You buried your face in his chest, giggling while he smirked, fully prepared to give you another show on the spot. “You little perv” 

“I am, just for you though” He snickered, showering you with kisses, his hands softly caressing your body, loving every inch of your skin. “There’s no doubt I’m utterly in love with you. But I also love the way you look. I love this body. I love the way you make me feel. I don’t care how big or little your ass is. It’s all mine. These beautiful boobs? All mine. This gorgeous waist, soft thighs, silky skin, all mine. You’re gorgeous my angel. I’ll remind you every single day for as long as I breathe” 

Tags:

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[a-heart-attack-ow]

The Arrangement. Part Four

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four: *smut/unedited/NSFW*

His teeth slowly dragged along my skin, cautious and teasing. 

The sensation caused a chill to move up my spine, goosebumps lining my skin, my body aching with need. He’d had me in this position, beneath him and at his mercy for the past hour. We’d spent the past five months enjoying our time together in this bed. 

Our bed.

We’d fallen into this pattern of spending hours in bed together, every single night. Hours of us worshiping every inch of each other. 

“You’re such a good girl.”

Colby’s voice rasps in my ear, a low growl that makes my breathing hitch. I never realized how much I enjoyed praise, until I heard it come out of his mouth. That approval, mixed with the fog of mutual desire made me live for these moments. 

I feel my eyes flutter closed as his lips press against my neck, a tender kiss before he starts to suck. Marking me was something Colby liked to do, even though I knew it meant that Kris would have to cover it up with makeup the next day. A small mewl escapes my lips as he nips the skin, a dark chuckle escaping him. 

His hands coast along my bare body, his fingertips drawing my body in closer to him. Breathing in the scent of his cologne and the sensation of him being almost too much to bear. It had been an hour of being entangled in his grasp, my aching core growing more and more needy. An hour of him not touching me where I needed him the most. An hour that felt like an endless cycle of complex desire. 

Slowly, he drags his fingers down my torso. He knows where I want him to touch me next, but I know he’s just going to tease me further. His lips pull away from me so he can look down at me. A smirk plays on his lips as he assesses the wreck he’s made of me. The tip of his middle finger lightly rubs my clit, slow small circles that make me want to moan. His smirk grows when he sees me bite the bottom of my lip. He enjoys knowing that I’m doing everything I can to not make a sound. 

“Come on darling. Let me hear you. You sound so pretty when you’re at my mercy.”

Colby drags his middle finger past my clit, dipping deep into my aching core. He slowly pumps into me and it feels so good that I can’t help but moan. 

“God, I love you.”

I moan, the words falling from my lips before I have the time to think better of it. Words that cause Colby to still his actions. We’d never said ‘I love you’ to each other. As far as we knew, we were just two people enjoying the perks of our arranged marriage. We just pretended to be in love when we were in front of the cameras. 

Everything else was just physical…

Right? 

 He keeps his eyes trained on me as he pulls his body from mine. The loss of him makes me feel cold and instantly uncomfortable. Did I mean what I said? Did I love him? The more my brain thinks about it, the more I realize that I was falling for him. Our strictly sexual relationship had morphed into something else for me. I’m not entirely sure when that happened, when I’d decided to fall for my husband, but it had and I had let it slip. Was it because we’d spent months pretending and at some point, I decided to stop acting? Was it because his smile made my heart skip a beat? Or his eyes made me breathless after only one look. Was it when I realized how hard working he was or how sweet he sounded when he laughed with Sam? In one way we still felt like strangers, but I’d fallen in love with the little things. The small intricate details that no one else would notice unless they lived with a person.  

An awkward silence engulfs us as I reach for the black silk sheet and wrap it around my exposed body.

“I’m sorry.”

Is all I manage, my eyes unable to meet his. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but his silence said it all for me. I want to run away and hide in my embarrassment. I wanted to rewind time and take it all back, but I can’t. The silence between us is almost too much, but it’s thankfully interrupted by the sound of Kris’ voice through the door. 

“Emilia? We have to get ready for tonight’s event. Remember?”

My heart drops for a moment. Another dinner party for the Brock family. The fifth one this year. The fifth time Colby and I would have to pretend to be in love in front of his family. In front of the cameras. Our lives were constantly like this, endless parties and pretending. 

I stand up from the bed, not bothering to keep myself covered up. I don’t look back at Colby, instead I grab my own robe and wrap it around myself. After the last time Kris had caught us in a moment like this, I’d kept my robe close. 

“One minute Kris.” 

I say as nicely as I can, trying to not allow any emotion in my words. From behind me I hear Colby sigh, his body moving from our bed. He reaches out to touch me, his hand on the small of my back, his lips close to my neck.

“Emilia, I-...”

He starts, our eyes meeting each other. I didn’t need to hear any fake explanation. I knew that I’d messed up. I knew that he didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for him. I knew that there was no reason to be angry with him. He’d told me from the beginning that our relationship wasn’t real. We were married, but it wasn’t out of love. It was out of necessity. 

I pull back to look at him, my green eyes filling with tears. I fucked up. I did the one thing I knew that I shouldn’t do. And that hurt. 

“I have to get ready.”

My words are cold. A sound that almost feels wrong coming from me, but I don’t explain myself to him. I didn’t want to hash this out right now, not when I knew we had somewhere to be. I feel Colby’s hand move from me, his eyes seeming to harshen for a moment as he studies me. He shakes his head and turns away, a look of annoyance overtaking him for a moment. Annoyance that I wasn’t willing to talk to him about everything. I keep my back to him while he walks around the room to find something to wear before leaving me. He swings the door open hard enough that it slams against the wall, a sound that causes me to jump. 

“Jeez. What the hell crawled up Colby’s ass?”

I hear Celina before I turn to face her, my face clearly reflects that something is wrong, but I’m not willing to elaborate. There was no need to. Right now we had to get ready for this party and I knew I would have to focus my attention on not falling apart. 

I would deal with my husband later.

—

It takes an hour and a half to get ready for the dinner downstairs. Most of it was spent on my hair, curling each long black strand into the perfect spiral. My makeup was a smokey eyed look paired with red lipstick and a highlighter that made my cheeks shimmer. Kris and Celina had put me into a beautiful red lace dress with sleeves that fell just above my knee. The black belt on my waist was beautiful, but my neckline was a little lower than I was comfortable with. But I didn’t dare complain about the ensemble, not after they’d spent all of this time on it. 

The last thing part of my outfit is my black heeled Mary Janes, a compromise since I denied their original idea of wearing black pumps. 

Over the past five months my nerves surrounding this monthly event had faded, but tonight I wasn’t able to shake the sensation of unease. After whatever happened earlier, the last thing I wanted to do was face my husband. I couldn’t shake the look of frustration on his face earlier. When I made the executive decision to not talk about my slip up. Confessing love to someone who could never love me in return. The unease followed me the entire way from our room to the downstairs guests. This time there was no grand reveal, just photographs at the end of the grand staircase. 

Colby doesn’t look at me when I join him, his back to me the entire time I walk down the stairs. Colby doesn’t bother to look at me until I’m at his side, but even then he’s not really looking at me. He’s on autopilot and the smile on his face doesn’t reach his eyes. When he poses with me, his hand snakes around my waist for a mere moment, allowing the photographers to take one photograph before leaving my side. 

“That’s enough guys.”

I hear him mutter as he walks away, his body disappearing into the crowd of people at the party. The photographers look around at each other in confusion and I instantly feel sick. Normally Colby could fake it for the cameras, but seeing him do this only proved how pissed he actually was. 

“Thank you for being here.”

I state apologetically before also walking off. Going in the opposite direction, I find Sam, Kris, and Celina who all look at me with concerned expressions as I walk right over to them.

“What happened?” Sam asks, authority in his voice. He knew that something was up, he’d known Colby for so long that he could see something was wrong from a mile away. He looks at me expectedly, his eyebrows raised. I breathe a sigh, and feel the unease worsen. Saying what I said earlier out loud made it more real. Too real. 

“I told Colby that I loved him.” 

The look of concern on their faces seems to grow when I say this. As if they knew something I didn’t. Sam breathes a deep sigh, his eyes focused on me. 

“And he didn’t take it well?”

Sam asks, his eyes moving from me to the direction that Colby had gone in. 

“I refused to let him talk about it with me. I had to get ready for this. We didn’t have the time.”

Saying it out loud made me feel bad. He’d wanted to talk to me about it and I turned him away. I’d said something that was deeply personal and then shut him out. Something he didn’t deserve. The realization of what I’d done hits me like a ton of bricks and Sam can tell by the way that he nods. 

“You should go talk to him.”

Celina says quietly, the look on her face reassuring. A look that I don’t believe will give me enough strength to face Colby. But I nod in agreement and force myself to walk away from the comfort of my friends and instead go in the direction of Colby. 

I smile at the people I pass by, my eyes focused forward. When I find him in the game room, his back is to the doorway, in one hand is a shot and in the other there’s a pool stick. Embarrassingly, when I approach, one of his friends sees me and leans over to whisper in his ear. I don’t recognize the friend, but somehow Colby knowing I was coming made my anxiety worse. I see his body tense as he takes his shot and hands the glass to the friend who’d spoken to him before. He then hands another friend the pool stick and turns to face me, his eyes cool and unkind. When he looks at me this time he actually looks at me. Studying the dress I was wearing, my hair, and the makeup. Approvingly he smirks, licking his lips. 

With his back to his friends, he reaches out to grab me, his hands holding my arms as the palms of my hands go against his tuxedo covered chest. Anyone looking at us could mistake this as a moment of warmth between two people, but the frustration he had earlier is still evident. In trace amounts, I can tell he doesn’t want to see me right now. 

“Can I talk to you?”

I ask him quietly, the eyes of his friends all peeking from behind him. Under their gazes and his I felt ridiculous. A part of me wishes I would’ve waited to talk to him, but it was too late now. I half expect him to refuse to talk to me, but when our eyes meet an undetectable flicker washes over him. He doesn’t respond verbally, instead he turns me around and puts his hand in mine as he guides us through the sea of people. Neither of us speak as we reach the back of the room and walk down the narrow hallway. The game room had a small hallway that led to Colby’s office. 

Once we reach his office he opens the door and guides me inside, locking the door behind us. 

“What do you want?”

He asks, his voice rough, distant, and very angry. His tone is controlled, but his body language reflects how mad he truly is. 

“I wanted to apologize for earlier. You wanted to talk and I shut you out. You didn’t deserve that.” 

My voice sounds small when I speak, my eyes moving to my feet. A bitter chuckle brushes past his lips when I speak. I didn’t know what he would think of my apology, but I didn’t think it would make him respond like that. There’s a look of frustrated amusement on his face when I eventually dare to look up at him. 

“Did you mean what you said? Or was it just because I was finger fucking you?”

There’s a cruelty to his words. A bluntness that made my stomach turn. This was exactly the reason I knew I shouldn’t fall for him. The way he made me feel so used at times. The way that our endless sexual encounters made me feel something more than I should’ve. The tender care that he’d shown me, was only tender because he wanted to keep fucking me. When he spoke like this it reminded me of my role here. I was the wife who had to sit pretty and do as he wanted. I didn’t get to make decisions for myself or else there would be a punishment. 

“Fuck you…”

I whisper, unable to conceal the pain I felt inside of me. The pain of knowing that I was right, that it didn’t matter to him. That I didn’t matter to him. He responds with an angry ‘Hmm’ through clenched teeth as he reaches for me, one hand pulling me forward. My chest goes against his and he holds me there, unable to move out of his grasp. 

“... I do love you…” 

This time I raise my voice and strain against his hold on me, our eyes never leaving each other. 

“...Yes, I slipped up and said it out loud. But I am in love with you, you rich, entitled asshole.” 

The moment I finish speaking I feel like I’ve overstepped, but another part of me is happy to get everything off of my chest. The entire time I’ve been here he’s walked all over me and I’ve let him without any protest, but now I was done. I was done letting him speak to me this way. I was done with him treating me this way. 

Colby's eyes darken a few shades when he heard me speak to him like that. It’s almost as if no one else has dared to speak to him like I had. For a moment the tension between the two of us feels like a pressure cooker that’s ready to explode at any moment. With me still firmly in his grasp he pushes me to the side, my back up against the wall. His hand finds my neck and he holds me there, no pressure is put on my neck, he just holds me to the wall, his facial expression blank as he assesses what to do to me. 

“I would watch how you speak to me darling.”

He rasps, his hand moving from my neck to the deep neckline of my dress. His fingertips lightly trace over the tops of my breasts, his gaze never leaving mine. Without a warning, he takes his other hand and slowly begins to rip the dress I was wearing. My breathing hitches as the cool air of his office touches my bare chest, my nipples hardening. 

“Colby.” 

I whisper so lightly that I doubt he can actually hear me. His name on my lips causes a small smile to move to his lips as he moves in closer, his face mere inches from mine. He breathes against my lips, and all I can imagine is how I feel like prey being played with by a hunter. 

“You always sound so pretty when you say my name...”

His lips trace against mine, not quite kissing me, but almost.

“... But you sound even prettier when I’m inside of you.”

My breathing hitches when he finishes speaking, his lips still so close to mine. I find my body leaning into his, desperately wanting him as close as possible. Without realizing it, my chest is slowly heaving up and down, my breasts brushing his suit covered chest. I fully realize that the only thing covering me is whatever ripped fabric is left of my dress and a pair of underwear, but I can’t bring myself to care. 

I don’t dare to reach for him. I don’t dare to do anything without him initiating it first. I still wasn’t sure of what to say. I swallow hard as he speaks once more. 

“Is that what you want baby…”

He rasps.

“...Do you want me inside of you?”

I’m struggling to breathe when he asks me this. I tighten my legs the moment I realize how much I want him inside of me. He notices how much I’m struggling, how turned on I am right in this moment. 

“Y-Yes. I want you inside of me.”

The second the words pass my lips, Colby’s mouth is on mine. He groans against me, his tongue in my mouth. I fumble with the buttons of his button up, wanting him as bare as I am. He takes his own coat off, his mouth never leaving mine. I hear him toss the jacket across the room behind him. Growing frustratated with his buttons, he assists me by ripping his shirt off of his body. A movement that causes me to focus my attention on his dress pants. I’m able to unbutton them easier than his shirt, pulling down the fabric in a frenzied need. 

“Baby, you are so eager. We have all night to do this.” 

He groans this against my lips, but I shake my head in protest. I wasn’t going to wait for him to fuck me. No, I needed him inside of me and I need him inside of me now. 

“Fuck that Colbs. I need you burried inside of me now.”

The tone of my voice that escapes me is almost animalistic. A sound that I didn’t know that I could make until this very moment. For whatever reason, I have never wanted to fuck Colby Brock as much as I have in this moment. A dark chuckle brushes past his lips when I say this. He guides his hands to my hips, his fingertips toying with the nude lace underwear I was wearing. 

“I could rip these off of you too…”

He growls, his fingertips moving to the top of the underwear before sliding them down my legs slowly. 

“... But I picked these out for you, and I’m sentimental about my baby wearing the gifts I get for her.” 

The sound of his voice makes me want to cum right then and there, but I don’t. Instead, I let him guide me to the carpeted floor of his office. Colby takes the time to look back at me as his bare body now straddles mine. Even in the darkness of his office, his blue eyes find mine. 

“I love you Emilia. I’ve loved you since the first night we properly met.”

He pauses, aligning his cock with my soaking sex. He thrusts inside of me slowly, a sensation of pure bliss fills me as he moves his lips to my chest, sucking my nipple. I moan as he thrusts once more, each movement feeling better than the last. It takes me a few minutes to understand what he’s said to me, my mind racing at the pure ecstasy that I was feeling. Hearing him say that he loved me, meant more than anything I’d ever heard before. Earlier, I’d realized how deeply I was under his spell, but now I knew I there was nowhere else I wanted to be. 

“Colby…”

He thrusts deeper, his tucking into my shoulder, as he begins to thrust faster. 

“...I love you more than anything.”

The soft nature of my voice makes him nuzzle closer to me as he continues to thrust. I feel my body nearing its climax, and I know he can feel it too. 

“Cum with me darling. I want you to cum all over my cock.”

He says the words he says are enough to push me over the edge, my body releasing itself on his massive cock. I feel his cock twitch, shooting his warm cum deep inside of me. For a moment, we lay entangled in each other’s grasps. The both of us lay quietly, with only our breathing to fill the silence. From the outside of his office, we hear the sound of the party. The music bringing us back to reality. The reality of us laying here naked, with ripped clothing and nothing to change into. 

“Colby?”

I ask, my voice small. 

“Yes, my darling?”

He asks, pulling back to look at me. He smiles at me as I jesture to our bodies. 

“How are we supposed to return to the party like this?”

A genuine laugh escapes him as he studies the tattered remains of our clothing. He’s amused by the state of us and I can’t help but laugh too. My head finds its place against his as we laugh together for several minutes, enjoying each other in this moment. 

“I’ll text Sam and Kris and have them find us something to wear.” 

Colby manages to say through deep laughter. 

“What is everyone at the party going to think when we return to the party?”

His eyes find mine once more when I ask him this. I wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that we’d fucked. I was worried that the people at our party might think we were a little rude for ignoring them for each other. He shrugs his shoulders uncaring as he studies me closely. 

“Who cares what they think? As long as I get to be with you, I could care less about what the other people think.”

His lips lightly find my forehead and for the first time since we got married I feel hope that everything could be okay. That maybe the worst was finally behind us. 

It had to be. 

Right?

[creedslove]

HEARTLESS 💔 - PART FIFTEEN

Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x f!reader

Summary: the aftermath of Wyatt's birthday party. You and Jack end up hurting each other with your different points of view, but your love is stronger

(This is the fifth chapter of the HEARTLESS 💔 series)

• PART ONE TO FOURTEEN ON MY MASTERLIST

Warnings: angst, two idiots in love, fluff, mom!reader

A/N: besties, I love this chapter very much, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. Our cowboy deserves nothing but the best and I know how much you've missed him! I have missed him too! ❤️

5.6k words

You smiled at the pictures and at your son the entire time, a part of you was indeed extremely happy to be there, holding your baby boy who was now growing into a wonderful child, turning four and blowing his candles next to his daddy for the first time in his life. He looked at everyone who gathered around and sang him happy birthday with awe, never seen so many people cheering on him, gifting him presents, not to mention the other presents he got from his daddy before. Wyatt was having the best day of his little life, amongst others best days of his life, ever since his father came into the picture, he made sure to make things memorable for him.

On the other, you were feeling a hint of hurt, perhaps a melancholy even, too many emotions happening all at once: you and Jack making out constantly like horny teenagers, that felt pretty good, giving you a sense of freedom, finally expressing your feelings and your hormones, the things you'd been so desperately trying to hide from the others as well as from yourself, for a long time you carried with shame the love you felt for Jack Daniels, after what he did to you and your son. You never thought it would even be possible to express those feelings you desperately pretended to be non-existent, but again, that cowboy had his own way to make your world upside down and his gentle attitude, loving words, warm eyes and a tight, manly grip around your body had you hostage again, you simply couldn't break free from Jack Daniels, even if you tried to - and you did, for very long - he just had a way to keep you his. It felt bittersweet to know you were free to be with him, now Frankie was out of the picture, which was also partially why you felt upset. It's not a matter of breaking up with him, even if Whiskey wasn't in the picture, you and Frankie would end up splitting up sooner or later; he was just too close to his ex-wife to be over her, your relationship was just a consequence of two lonely people looking for a hook-up online. He was handsome, sweet and a good kisser, but you weren't in love with him, your heart was never open to anyone but the cowboy that both disgraced your life and also added a sense to it. It was only a matter of time until either of you would have to start the unpleasant conversation and get things done with; however, what made you upset was the way the break-up happened. Perhaps it would've been better if it didn't happen in the middle of your son's birthday party and though there wasn't a scene apart from when his daughter bit your son, it still felt odd. You were disappointed in Frankie for finding out he'd been hiding things from you, but just because of that, you didn't think it was appropriate for Jack to throw Frankie's dossier onto his lap as if they were in the middle of an interrogation. You were thankful your cowboy was protective and willing to take the risks to help and protect you, but you knew you would've handled things differently. Still, things were done and they'd remain that way, you were at least thankful you didn't have to handle things like that at all.

But Jack still pressured you and made you uncomfortable, he was already talking about marriage, kids and you weren't there yet. Of course you wanted to spend time with your cowboy, you were willing to make things right for your family, for your son and also for yourself, but you didn't want to get married and let alone have more kids. You didn't trust Jack with getting you pregnant, the trauma and the sadness you went through in a moment that was supposed to be one of the best and happiest of your life was too present, you still had nightmares about it and you were not willing to let it repeat itself, even if your cowboy got on his knees and swore to you he'd never do anything like that, you wouldn't like to figure out by yourself.

You couldn't lie to yourself if you said you hadn't let your mind wander and dared to think of an alternative scenario where you went all the way with Jack: marriage and another kid. Perhaps it could work, you had no way to guess if it would, but you decided to be safe rather than sorry and immediately draw the line. You could tell he'd become upset at your immediate refusal right under the willow tree, he was surprisingly soft when it came to family business and it wouldn't be different when you weren't interested in his future plans. Jack Daniels was a traditional man, he was one to get married and settle down, just like he'd been taught from a young age, like real men were supposed to do. He thought that now that you and him were finally on the same page about becoming a real family and giving it a shot, you would also agree with him. He thought you'd say yes to his proposal even if it wasn't official yet and also his idea to give Wyatt a baby brother or baby sister. However, you'd said no. He couldn't even blame you, no one could; even if you were the most selfish person in the world, - which you weren't, because after all the shit he'd done, he'd committed himself to worship the ground you stepped on - he knew it was understandable and expectable too. But that old broken heart was overflowing with love for you and your son, it just kept the fire of hope alive, so when you'd been nothing but clear when you stated you wouldn't get marry nor have kids, he got upset. Not only that, he felt quite rejected. Perhaps it was a product of the tension he went through with your ex earlier that day, he had hated Frankie since day one, even before finding the dirt on him, he just couldn't have sympathy for anyone who had the woman he loved; if it were up to him, he would've kicked his ass and told him to fuck off, but he couldn't do that in the middle of his son's birthday party, not when toddlers ran around and the adults enjoyed good food and drink. And then that little monster Frankie called a daughter bit his boy and Jack felt angry. He was actually pissed. Yeah, she was a child - a very spoiled, whiny and annoying one - and he knew that often happened, but he'd always hated biters, his little sister was a biter and he learned from a young age to hate this kind. There was also the fact he was actually being able to take part in his son's birthday for the first time and the need of making everything perfect and memorable for Wyatt was a bit nerve wracking, not that he would admit it, but Jack Daniels didn't lose sleep before a mission, but he did lose sleep before a four-year-old party because he wasn't sure if the inflatables and the trampolines were good enough.

At that point, Jack was just tired, too many people around his home, making too much noise and whereas his son was having the time of his life, Whiskey preferred the moments he'd spent with only you and him, where Wyatt played with his pony and you were both quiet and affectionate. However, each time Wyatt's laugh was heard all over the place, the cowboy couldn't hold back his unconscious smile, he never knew how the happiness of a child could make him feel young and good again. Like the bad, rough path in his life had never existed. When he left the willow tree with you and your son, Whiskey was silent, not getting closer, he felt the sting of rejection and even if he knew it wasn't fair and that you had all the right to want different things in life, he still pouted and put his cowboy hat on, following you down the party.

He kept his distance once everyone sang Wyatt happy birthday, he could feel the same tension you did, the way you stood all stiff next to your son, occasionally smiling at everything and everybody but avoiding his gaze, it made his heart clench, he didn't really know what else to do. He didn't want to lose you, but it seemed at times that no matter what he did, if he showered you with love or affection, he still managed to scare you off. He closed his eyes and sighed, another flash by the cameras that photographed the moment he stood next to his family. Normally Jack wouldn't be in so many pictures, but he always made exceptions for you and now your son too. The cowboy was so caught up in his feelings, he only noticed how close you were the moment you wrapped your arms around him, closing the distance between the two of you and Wyatt stood on a chair, to be at your height so you could have a beautiful picture to watch in the future. He looked at you slightly surprised, not expecting a physical touch from you, even if the warmth was so soothing and familiar, he didn't expect to have your body glued tight to his. It was some kind of hypnosis, being away from you for so long, whenever he was able to touch you, it simply didn't feel real at all. He still couldn't ignore how upset he was, but when he looked into your eyes and saw your smile, he went soft. Posing for another picture wanting that moment to be eternalized.

•••

"Cake?" You offered Jack a small plate, joining him at one of the many tables that were set through the backyard. One by one, the guests began taking off after the cake was cut and served, the party naturally coming to an end after hours of fun and adventure for the kids as well as their parents who drank, ate and danced, because if there was something Jack Daniels was good at, it was definitely throwing a ranch party. Wyatt baffled the two of you, still having the energy to bounce from inflatable to inflatable, trampoline from trampoline, so excited he completely forgot about the pile of presents exclusively for him. You were exhausted and you could tell the cowboy was just the same, taking the cake from your hand with a small thank you as he began nibbling at it.

He was upset, you could tell, because his aviators were back on, covering his eyes and even if they weren't uncovered you just knew they wouldn't carry that traditional spark. His shit-eating grin was replaced by his serious expression and you just felt so frustrated with that man. Instead of having your lips on those tempting lips of his, you had to go through that whole awkward situation with him. Why couldn't things be a lot more simple? Why couldn't you just enjoy each other's company, without making things complicated?

He didn't say anything at first, just watching as Wyatt ran from one place to the other, enjoying the toys a lot more now that he didn't actually need to share them with the other kids.

"Why don't you wanna marry me?" Jack broke the silence, not looking directly at you, he looked down instead, eager and also scared to hear your answer.

"Instead of asking me this, why don't you answer my question, Jack?! Why do you wanna marry me so bad?"

You caught that cowboy by surprise, out of all the answers in the world, the ones he could have possibly heard, that was something he didn't expect.

"I-I…" he started but bit his lips, taking his glasses off and looking at you "it doesn't feel real to me that you want to give our family a chance, the feeling I have is that one day you'll wake up and get back to your senses, that you'll remember I'm not good and shouldn't be forgiven, so I fear you will walk away from me. I figured that if we get married, not only would it assure me that wouldn't happen, but we could also pick up from where we left off" that making perfect sense in his mind.

"So you just want to trap me?"

"Sugar, don't look at things that way… I mean yeah, getting married would be a way of making sure you don't regret giving me a chance, but I would also like to continue from where we left off…"

"We will never continue from where we left off, Jack… listen, Wyatt just turned four, which means we're talking about nearly five years in the past; there's been too much between us, a horrible, traumatic, violent, break up. There was a pregnancy, also traumatic, because it was scary, painful, stressful, there was a child birth, countless nights of staying up and taking care of a baby I wasn't even sure how to do so, I'm not holding it against you, but there's no turning back, Jack. You will never be able to make up for this all because it's long gone, and I can see you want to prove yourself, have a chance so you can show me now you can handle taking care of a baby, but I'm not gonna be part of your experiment"

"I just thought we could be a family, a real, big family, I know the three of us are already one, but I wanted to have another baby, I wanted to make you my wife, have you wear a big fancy ring around your beautiful finger and go to bed and wake up every single day for the rest of my life next to you. I'm not saying that what we have now, how we are getting along and finally breaking the barrier that was keeping us apart isn't good, but I wanted more… I wanted to know for a fact one day you won't just wake up and walk away from me, sugar"

And that was exactly the kind of assurance you couldn't offer him. Yes, you were willing to be with Jack, as a couple maybe, as lovers definitely because you simply couldn't get your hands off your cowboy, but were you 100% certain you wanted to have him for the rest of your life? You didn't know.

"It seems like we want different things in life Jack… you pressure me when you talk about this, about the future, when you talk about having babies as if the whole experience with Wyatt hadn't happened"

"And you hurt me when you just discard our future without a second thought, sugar" he looked down, placing the plate on the table and sighing, getting up and taking his leather jacket off, placing it on your shoulder, surprising you at the soft touch, only then realizing you were actually shivering at the cool wind. The cowboy excused himself and walked inside.

•••

Whiskey had got inside his home, pouring himself a glass of the hardest Statesman liquor he could find and got into his bathtub. He let out a loud groan, his sore muscles finally relaxing under the warm water, but unfortunately to him, not all the relaxation in the world could soothe his heart. He wasn't even sure what that all meant. Were you and him still trying? Broken up? He didn't know and he was afraid to ask, perhaps it would be better if he left that question mark hanging for a little while. He sank his head under the water so he could be alone with his thoughts.

You called Wyatt, who finally came running to you. He was panting and his skin was sticky with sweat from how much he played even if the weather wasn't warm anymore. He smiled and gave you a big hug, snuggling you and letting out a yawn, he had never been happier, though he frowned not seeing his daddy. You explained to your son Jack had had an early night because he was tired. All of you were, but you knew Wyatt still needed a warm bath before bed.

Once your son was clean up, warm and tucked in bed, you felt kind of awkward, not sure if you should lie down or go after Jack. Things had escalated to more than tense once you two opened your hearts and though you wanted to make things right, you didn't know how to. Jack was a stubborn man, and if he had that idea in mind, you knew you wouldn't be able to go against it. However, you were also sure you wouldn't be able to simply go to bed when things were so unsolved, you couldn't say yes to his marriage proposal in one night, but you could at least make sure things were alright - or not - between the two of you.

You exited your bedroom and decided to go to Jack's, so eager to knock on his door you barely noticed him walking towards you, apparently he also had issues he had to address. You stopped just inches from bumping against him, but it didn't stop the cowboy to hold you by the hips. He smiled down at you, but it didn't meet the eyes, and you were sure he was still upset.

"Hey sugar, going somewhere in a rush?" He asked curiously at your nod but since you didn't actually reply to his question, he just cleared his throat

"I was wondering if you'd be okay with me taking Wyatt to the Statesman tomorrow morning? I gotta go there to make some payments for the service some employees did at the party and I was thinking that would be a nice opportunity for him to see his daddy's workplace"

He smirked proudly, imagining how excited Wyatt would be while running around the hallways of Statesman, seeing the cool stuff his daddy worked with. He was sure he would enjoy their time together, but the moment he noticed your sad expression, Jack frowned, concerned about you and what could've happened.

"Jack, can I ask you a question? Are you mad at me? About the fact I don't want more babies or a wedding?"

He sighed and bit his lip, carefully choosing his words, he didn't want to offend you in any way, but he wasn't great at hiding how upset that made him

"I'm not mad, it's your choice… but as I said, it made me upset, I had already made plans for us, sugar. It's nice we're getting along, but I expected more, as you already know… Would you ever marry me? Someday?"

"I-I don't know, Jack" you sighed and looked down, ashamed of your honest response, being sure it would hurt that broken heart even more.

He nodded and looked around, taking a step back from you. He thought of kissing your lips goodnight, but he didn't actually see the point in it.

•••

Jack and Wyatt had left earlier in the morning, your little boy was still very sleepy and cuddly as he first got up, climbing your lap and snuggling you, just like he did it as a small baby, though now time was flying and he was growing more and more each day. You had wrapped your arms around him and played with his soft, growing curls, listening to his calm soft breaths as he fell asleep again. You rested your chin on his head and closed your eyes, happy at the small time you had with him, you missed Wyatt terribly for the past two days, as the two of you were so busy with his party you barely spent time together. Jack walked into the living room, looking good in his clothes, aviators on and his hat in hands, going absolutely silent once he realized his son had fallen asleep.

"Do you want me to leave him here so he can sleep some more?" He suggested it, but you quickly dismissed the idea, you knew how excited Wyatt was to go out with his daddy, he just needed a few minutes to catch up on his sleep.

The cowboy joined you on the couch, his big hand stroking his son's soft curls and watching his sleep features in adoration, his son was absolutely gorgeous, he had taken a lot from you, even if he did have a lot of similarities with his daddy, Jack came to the conclusion he was all you. He smiled at that thought and sighed softly, at the same time Wyatt opened his brown eyes and giggled to see his daddy right there. Neither of you addressed the short, frustrating conversation you had in the hallway the night before, instead you both focused on serving Wyatt breakfast and you helped Jack buckle him up in his Bronco so they could have their boys adventure.

And then you were free to do whatever you wanted. It was definitely a rare moment of your post pregnancy life where you could actually do anything you wanted without having to worry about your son. Even though being a mother meant you would worry about your kid at all times, you trusted Jack knowing he'd keep your son safe. Helen didn't take long to arrive and assured you she would be supervising the cleaning team Jack hired to clean after the party, you could do that without her help, but she was just so kind to you, you thanked her by assuring the woman she could go home right afterwards, no need to cook any meals as you would take care of it.

While you were oddly free, the first thing you decided to do was take a bath. You figured Jack wouldn't mind lending you his tub; you wouldn't make a mess or snoop around his stuff, you just filled the tub, picked your favorite bath bomb and sank your entire body into the water, sounds of relief coming out of your mouth. You couldn't even remember the last time you were able to take such a relaxing bath, at any time you wanted and spending as long as you'd like. Chances were the last time you actually spent some time like that was even before getting pregnant, probably inside Jack's tub as well. You weren't sure if you just closed your eyes and relaxed or if you'd dozed off, but nearly an hour later, you were drying yourself and getting dressed, feeling so good about herself. Looking out the window, you saw that the tables that had crowded the backyard just a day before had gone, the green fields seemed spotless clean, but the inflatables were still there; of course Jack would pay extra to have them for longer so Wyatt would play.

You turned around and picked your riding boots, it was time you paid your beautiful Silver Pony a visit and took her for a ride.

The walk to the stables was fast, you were so used to going in the same direction you were able to just follow it through muscle memory; there was a time you rode horses almost every day, and that didn't necessarily make you good at it, you were decent at best, Jack always made sure to be around and take care of you, though he used to encourage you to try and do it alone, so you would always go with Silver Pony, she wasn't a racing horse, she never sped up and you just loved going out with her. You loved that horse, and she loved you too.

"Hi girl, I missed you" you said excitedly as soon as you eyed her, the horse showing the same excitement to see you, moving her body and motioning her head towards you, so you'd pet her. You chuckled at how sweet your lovely friend was and got the saddle ready, just like the cowboy had taught you to do and in no time you were riding your beloved horse again. Not without attaching your fruit basket to her saddle, an old habit of picking up fresh fruit straight from the trees.

It was a very beautiful day, sunny and warm, and you only cursed under your breath for forgetting the beautiful hat Jack had gifted you. You smiled at the idea of going horseback riding with your son and your cowboy, it would definitely be a good family date, you decided you'd bring it up later that day.

You saw the fence that indicated the end of Jack's property and since you didn't have schedules or responsibility for the day, you just decided to ride further, as you hadn't been around the neighborhood in so long.

You hadn't taken your phone nor a watch so you had no idea how long you've been riding Silver Pony, you passed by the fruit trees, the neighbors' property and you only realized you'd gone far when you saw the cemetery gate. You swallowed hard, knowing this place without ever being there, you knew how long Jack had spent visiting the grave of his late wife and unborn son. He had the habit of visiting them very often, once a week at least, bringing them flowers and spending some time there, talking to them, as it was the only thing that could give his broken heart some comfort. Then, as the years passed and the pain still lingered there, he continued his ritual, only being able to actually reduce it once he met you, then his visits stopped being weekly, but he still felt the need of seeing them. You respected and understood that, even if it seemed a little too depressing at the time, but then, standing so near and yet so far from their grave, you felt an urge to go and see them. It came out of nowhere, you hadn't even thought of Jack's late family, they hadn't crossed your mind in days, but at that very moment you decided you needed to see her grave. You had never even considered doing so, but you would. Tying Silver Pony to a tree so she could relax under the shadows, you picked some wildflowers you found on the grass, feeling weird to walk inside empty-handed.

You weren't bothered by cemeteries, you didn't see the fuss in visiting them, but you didn't avoid it when you had to, seeing it was a simple place, a lot of green fields and flowers, one could say it was even a beautiful place. You walked around paying attention to the tombstones, wanting to find hers, which didn't take very long. Amongst the other simpler ones, hers stood with fresh flowers and a beautiful but sad sculpture of a cherub angel.

Of course Jack would get his wife nothing but the best. You took a step closer and lowered yourself, placing the wildflowers next to the other ones, a little shy at how simple your last minute tribute was, but you could feel she was a kind-hearted woman and wouldn't mind it at all.

"Gabriella Daniels

Loving mother and wife.

Gone but not forgotten"

The inscriptions on her tombstone were simple but it brought you a pang of sadness, watching how beautiful she was in the picture, she should be around Jack's age by then, and yet, she looked younger than you currently were. You'd been her age, but she would never live up to turn your age. It was sad and tragic, even if the date of her passing was more than two decades, it still felt so brutal to know a love was killed at such young stage, under such a painful way. She should've been able to celebrate anniversaries, give birth, watch her baby grow up next to her husband, and yet, it was all taken away from her. From him. From them.

Poor Gabriella was doomed to become forever young in a broken man's heart and mind, turned into memories and dust, while her young husband was doomed to becoming a lonely, brokenhearted man.

You spotted another plaque smaller, but right next to hers, and it shattered your heart.

"Jack Daniels Junior

An angel sent back to heaven"

Perhaps it was because you were now a mother and you witnessed the intense love a mother felt for her son, or just because you knew Jack Daniels and you witnessed the intense love a grieving father felt for his unborn son. But you let out a small sob, the tears insistently falling from your cheeks, as you watched those two tombstones. It might've been the proximity you had with the story, without even knowing them personally, but you were nonetheless affected by it.

However, it was still a distant tragedy, like the ones you often hear about and felt upset for a while, but then you move on, but standing there, in front of their graves, you could feel how real and intense it truly was. You could only think of Jack and the gruesome pain he felt, how your own chest tightened just at the mere thought of going through something similar, about losing him and your son.

It clicked, it all made sense to why he was so desperate about assurance, about a true indicator that he wouldn't lose you or Wyatt, that happiness wouldn't run away from him, escaping through his fingers like sand. Would it be so bad to actually give him a chance? An assurance? He wasn't the monster you had unconsciously built in your nightmares, yes, there was a part of him that was that monster for a while, when he broke your heart and pushed you away, but he had got back on his tracks. You sighed, shaking your head and trying to make a sense out of your thoughts. It was all so confusing and yet, you were so sure, at the undoubtedly uncertainty of life, at the proof nothing really lasted forever and at the realization that if you had a chance to be happy today, you shouldn't waste it thinking of the future that might have not even come,you felt sure of it, of it all.

You sat on the grass more comfortably and wiped your tears softly

"H-hi… I'm sorry, it's a little weird for me to do that… but I know Jack does it and it helps him. I guess you know me and I know you too, Gabriella. I'm very sorry for what happened to you and your beautiful baby boy, your absence was so painful to Jack but we both know he's strong and well, you and your baby Jack will always have a place in his heart. Our cowboy has done some shitty things, to me, and to our son, but he's found his way back to being his old sweet self… he's still a little corny and clueless, but that's part of his charm right?" You chuckled softly "thank you for being so good to him, but now I'll take care of our cowboy…"

You dried your tears and smiled more at yourself as you felt so light, so peaceful at the end of your… conversation.

You rushed to Silver Pony, caressing her head before hopping on your girl again. She took you home at a slow pace, giving you enough time to stop at the peach tree path, so you could pick some of them and take it home. You would make a peach pie for your cowboy, knowing he loved eating it with some vanilla ice cream just like his grandma had taught him to. Just by knowing how excited he would get, it made you happy and eager to get the sweet treat started. You could tell yourself you were just excited to see Jack's reaction at the fact he would enjoy his favorite childhood recipe, but in fact your heart was tightening to see your cowboy, you needed to see him, touch him, talk to him and enjoy the fact the two of you were there alive and well, healthy and happy, with a beautiful son and a bright future ahead.

Once Silver Pony finally reached the gates to Jack's property, you could see the Bronco parked and Wyatt rushing to you, running as fast as his little legs could take him, you got off the horse and placed the basket down, opening your arms to welcome him, embracing your son into a tight hug. You were so lucky to have your son so alive and well, snuggling Wyatt and letting him giggle and tell you all about the awesome day he spent next to his daddy. You nodded and stroked his curls, letting him speak for as long as he wanted, but eventually, he blushed and looked down in shame

"Mommy we have a pwoblem… daddy bought McDonald's fow lunch and he bought nuggies fow you, but I ate them" he said a little ashamed of eating everything and not letting one single nugget left for you. You bit your lips so you wouldn't burst out laughing at how funny and cute that was. Ruffing your hair, you let your son know it was alright.

Then you picked up your basket and rushed to Jack, who gave you a shy smile, not having enough time to say anything at all, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

Whiskey didn't expect it, but as soon as your lips touched, he unconsciously glued your bodies together, not resisting you, there, so close to him. His hand gripping you at the same time you could see his confused expression, but you just shrugged.

"The answer is yes"

"What?"

"You know what question I'm talking about, cowboy, the answer is yes" you winked at him and caressed his smooth cheek.

Before Jack could add anything else, you grabbed his hat, placing it on your head and smirked

"Cowboy hat rule, Mr.Daniels"

____

A/N: I really hope you enjoy it besties, you are the whole reason why this cowboy gets so much love 🥺❤️

[scekrex]

Any way you could write a scene where Adam is punished in a sexual way and reader does that? Aftercare of course. Dom!Reader and Sub!Adam

I got you hun, hope ya like it xoxo/p

Everything I love, I guess it makes me damned

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, spanking, punishment, dom/sub undertone

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

When Adam had first agreed to the deal you had offered him he had expected nothing of it. He had been reborn as a sinner, had lost his path and his soul, so what was the difference between giving it up and giving it to you? The protection that came when he gave it to you. He had been stupid enough to trust someone like you, an overlord, a sinner. And look where that got him.

He was kneeling on the bed, next to him you sat on the edge of it. A purple glowing metal collar appeared around the first man’s beck, it was uncomfortably tight and Adam’s hands reached for it the second it appeared, trying to tear it away from his skin, trying to break free. But the magic of deals wasn’t that easy to break. A chain was attached to the collar, glowing in the same shade of purple, on the other end of the chain, your hand. “I said,” you growled angrily and harshly yanked on the chain, forcing Adam to bend down against his will, and a second of losing his balance was enough to fall over entirely. His chest crashed down on your legs, knocking what little air was left inside his lungs out of him, a small whimper escaped him as his head hung down in defeat, “Bend down, Adam.” And even though you were harsh and your tone was sour, maybe even angry, you didn’t insult him like others of your kind would have, you stayed somewhat respectful. You grabbed a firm hold of his body and shoved him forwards a little,his hip bone pressed against your thighs and you felt him shudder as you snapped your finger. Did you do it extra loudly to give the first man somewhat of a warning? Maybe. And with that snap the fabric that had covered his once holy body was gone, there was nothing hiding his skin anymore and Adam really wasn’t sure if he was enjoying himself or if he was afraid of what was yet to come.

Your hand found his jaw, squeezing it tightly as you turned his face your way, “I own your soul, Adam. You do as I say, if you don’t things won’t work out as well as they had been between us. Is that clear?” Adam’s eyes didn’t even dare to look at you, he focused on everything that wasn’t you just to not look you in the eyes. He also decided to remain silent. Your hand crashed down onto the soft skin of his asscheeks and a loud slapping sound filled the room. Adam gasped, his back arched in a way that looked a little too wonderful, a little too divine. Because how was it possible for one to look like the most holy creature while being punished by such an impure thing like you? It was truly a mystery. “Answer, when I ask you questions. Is that clear, Adam?” And that was when his eyes met yours for the first time, “Yes, Sir.” He spat the words out as if it would physically hurt him to say them, and maybe it did hurt him, not really physically but definitely mentally. Adam wasn’t used to submitting to someone, he had always been the Adam, a person that was admired and liked, people respected him. Down in hell none of these things were the case and ever since he had sold his soul to you, he was on a tight leash - quite literally. You weren’t taking advantage of the possession of the first man’s soul very often, it rarely happened, but when you did, it was always because Adam was misbehaving. “Good, “ you hummed, quite content that he had given in so soon, so easily. That would make the following punishment a lot easier.

A thing you had been quick to figure out was, despite Adam claiming otherwise he was quite enjoying himself during those punishments of you. When you had first spanked his nude ass, he had managed to orgasm without any stimulation, the only thing that had gotten him hard and over the edge had been spanks. And back then you had been quite impressed, Adam wasn’t exactly giving kinky vibes, you had always taken him for a vanilla sort of guy before that accident had happened. And from then on his misbehavior only worsened, you were aware he was doing it on purpose, that all he wanted to get out of it was yet another spanking session. So you gave him distance instead. He had not taken that sort of punishment very well and looking back it had definitely been wrong from your end, but at the time Adam had deserved it. It’s nothing you would do again to punish him though.

The praise vibrated through Adam’s body and he shivered a little as your hand came down on his ass again, harder, more violent. He didn’t mind, he knew he deserved it. Not only for acting up against you but for what he had done in general. He wasn’t as pure and perfect as he had made people believe he was and he deserved to be punished. Your hand hit his butt cheek again, more and more force was involved and it punched the prettiest sounds out of Adam the first man was enjoying this more than he should have and it really didn’t take him long to get hard against your thighs, oh and the feeling of the control you had over this man tasted more divine than Adam’s imperfect and stained lips ever could. The spanks kept getting harder, firmer, harsher. You were getting more and more violent with him and he loved it, lived for it, drowned in it. “Fuck,” he breathed out, his eyes were closed, his face was scrunched up and his tried to create as much friction as possible in order to get him off - and while this was supposed a punishment, you also wanted him to enjoy it to a certain level. Yet you grabbed his hips hard to stop their movement. “Nuh uh,” you mumbled and you were pretty sure he felt your words more than he actually heard them when a desperate whine fell from his lips, followed by a loud, painful scream. Good, you were reaching that stage. The stage in which Adam is enjoying himself very much, but his ass is sore enough to also cause him to voice the pain you bring him. A weak, barely audible, “Please,” fell from his lips and his eyes met yours. There were tears welling up in them and the golden orbs of his looked shiny, so broken yet lust and desire was reflecting in them, telling you that he was okay. You kept one hand on his hips to keep them still as you spanked his ass again, leaving angry red handprints on soft, milky skin. You watched in delight as Adam started to drool from the pleasure he was feeling, the first man completely out of his mind and you enjoyed every single little second of it.

His eyes looked hazy, as if they were clouded by smoke and he struggled with keeping them open, that’s how fucked out he was, salvia dripped from the corner of his mouth onto the floor and he was breathing heavily. It was only then that you noticed the hot, sticky liquid that stained your pants from the outside. Adam had come undone without friction, the simple act of spanking him had sent him over the edge.

You were quick to lift him into your arms, his body was completely limb and if he wouldn’t be so hot and if breath wouldn’t go so hard, you would’ve been afraid he might be dead. But Adam was very much alive, totally out of his mind, but alive. You carefully got up with Adam in your arms to gently lay him down onto the soft mattress, the first man clung onto you like his life was depending on it and in that exact situation it probably was, you were the only thing that tied you to reality. Once his back hit the mattress, you removed one hand from his body to snap your fingers yet again to remove the dirty clothes from your body, leaving you in your boxershorts only. You carefully lifted Adam’s upper body a little and sat down behind him, your back hitting the headboard as you pulled the first man against your chest. Your hands disappeared in his hair and your lips brushed the shell of ear as you whispered, “You did so well Adam, you did so perfectly fine.” A small hum fell from the brunette’s lips as he snuggĺed up against your naked chest, salvia met your skin as the former angel continued drooling, you didn’t mind that at all though. You made sure he kept breathing, checked that he wouldn’t choke on his spit and kept his body warm by pulling a blanket over both of your bodies. He would fall asleep soon and when he would wake up hours later, you would be there to carry him through the consequences that spanking brought. But for now the fallen angel was all yours, yours to hold and protect, yours to take care of. His complaining was what would follow later.

[accio-sriracha]

WOLFSTAR + MISTLETOE BECAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS

~~~♤~~~

Sirius loved Christmas more than any other holiday.

And no, not just because he got to wear his leather jacket; he did that in the summer too.

And not because of the dragon-nog or the potion pies.

Not the pumpkin truffles or the roast turkey.

He didn't love Christmas for the break from classes and homework, though that was definitely a bonus.

Not the lights, not the music, not the festive holiday cheer.

He loved it for something else entirely.

Sirius Black loved Christmas for the mistletoe.

Now, you can say what you want about the enchanted tradition, Sirius didn't care what anyone else thought.

Evey year the castle was filled with hidden mistletoe, waiting for their targets.

And every year students would groan as they were trapped underneath with their best friend or a passing stranger.

Sirius was obsessed with the tradition, he thought it was a hilarious way to bring people together, a reason to connect with people and laugh and share awkward solidarity.

He would purposefully trap his friends underneath it with him and tease them about it for days afterwards.

James was respectful, careful to learn the layout to avoid making anyone uncomfortable.

Peter was terrified, jumping if anybody would walk too close.

And Remus... well he was Remus.

Nobody really knew how he felt about the mistletoe; he never showed anything further than indifference.

Somehow nobody had ever gotten trapped with him.

Remus had gone his entire life without being stuck under one, and seemed to be confident it would continue this way.

That is, until this year, on Christmas morning.

Sirius stood in the common room, pacing the floor as he waited for his friends to get out of bed.

He was up ridiculously early and he knew that, but it was Christmas, where was their cheer?

So when James and Peter finally trudged down the steps he jumped up from the couch and ran to hug them,

"Merry Christmas guys!!" He shouted, laughing as they winced at his volume.

"Merry Christmas, Pads." Peter grumbled, patting his shoulder and pulling away to plop down on the couch.

James broke off too, muttering incoherently before joining Peter in collapsing onto his favorite armchair.

"Where's Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Bathroom. Should be down in a second." Peter yawned.

Sirius huffed and jogged halfway up the steps, "Moons! Hurry up!"

"Merlin's beard, Pads, give us a second, would you?" Remus' answering call came from the far end of the hall.

"Never. It's Christmas, your choices are be excited or die."

"Is death really on the table?" Remus smiled, walking into view.

He was wearing his biggest jumper, the sleeves pooling over his hands, another reason Christmas would always be Sirius' favorite.

Sirius tried not to let his thoughts show on his face, but he was never very good at hiding his expressions.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked immediatley.

"Nothing. You look good, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." Remus had just started to walk down the steps when something made them both freeze.

"Oh shit." Sirius gasped.

James turned lazily in his seat, than gave a loud, short laugh and called over Peter.

"Did you guys just-" Peter's eyes were wide.

They had all learned to avoid the one on the stairway to the boy's dorms quick, Sirius had never once been accidentally trapped by it.

But then again, he'd been pretty distracted..

"How?" Sirius looked up at Remus in shock, "I thought these didn't work on you?"

"Guess there's no such thing as invincible." Remus shrugged, that indifferent attitude still fixed in place.

Sirius cleared his throat and looked away, every time he'd been stuck with James or Peter he kissed them way too over the top as a joke to make them uncomfortable or panic, but he couldn't bring himself to even look at Remus.

"Well go on then, Padfoot. Moony's been missing out on this for years." Peter urged, mostly for revenge, Peter was always the easiest target.

"I, uh-" Sirius cleared his throat.

This wall was interesting enough, wasn't it? He didn't see a reason to look away.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked again, quietly this time so only Sirius could hear him. He looked concerned.

But the expression made his lips pull down in a frown, which drew Sirius' eyes to his lips, which made his heart take the liberty to stop working properly.

And here they were, Remus staring at Sirius, Sirius staring at the stone, neither of them knowing what to do next.

It was easy for Sirius to be nonchalant about placing mistletoe everywhere, he didn't care about kissing James or Peter, it was usually hilarious to see their faces afterwards.

After seven years of never needing to be trapped with Remus, he had forgotten it was even a possibility.

And the truth was... he did care about kissing Remus.

"I'm fine." Sirius finally answered, he had no idea how long it had been since he was asked.

"You sure?" Remus pressed.

Sirius just nodded. He turned when he felt a hand on his arm.

"If we don't do this soon we're going to block the hallway." Remus explained gently, his eyes searching Sirius'.

"Right." Sirius let out another slow breath, "Okay."

"Okay." Remus repeated.

Neither of them moved.

"What's happening?" James asked Peter, not wanting to stand up from his seat to get a better look, "Why is it taking so long?"

Peter shrugged, "I don't know."

Sirius looked back up into Remus' eyes and tried to steel his resolve.

It was just one kiss. It didn't need to mean anything. Just like the ones he shared with James and Peter.

He took a step forward slowly to close the distance between them, "Can I touch you?" He asked quietly.

Remus watched him for a moment before he nodded.

Sirius reached up, Merlin did it take some effort, and cupped his hand around one side of Remus' face.

There was a twinkle of amusement in Remus' eyes, probably because his hands were shaking,

"Would you like me to kiss you, Sirius?" He whispered.

Sirius nodded mutely.

And they kissed, a deep, slow kiss that Sirius would bet the boy's dormitory mistletoe has never seen before.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' neck and pulled him closer, he felt hands at his waist.

And the kiss did mean something, to both of them.

It was odd, how natural this was. Remus was his best friend, kissing his best friend shouldn't feel like this, should it?

When they pulled away, Remus smiled softly at him, "I'm sorry." He whispered, pressing another soft kiss to his forehead.

"For what?" Sirius' breathed, he couldn't image a single reason Remus would ever apologize after that. It was single handedly the best thing that had ever happened to him.

But then Remus was smiling again,

"For tricking you into kissing me."

It took a moment, but Sirius finally realised maybe Remus wasn't just his best friend after all.

"Oh." Sirius swallowed hard, "So you-" He trailed off, Remus smiled again,

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Remus looked hopeful and Sirius couldn't help smiling back.

"Okay." He whispered as he pulled Remus in for another kiss.

It wasn't until they heard a door open somewhere in the hall that Remus leaned back,

"We're still blocking the stairs." He mumbled into Sirius' hair.

"Who gives a fuck?" Sirius laughed, kissing him again.

"Should we just go?" They heard James ask. Peter snorted,

"Yeah, for the best. Merry Christmas guys."

Remus raised a hand vaugly in their direction as he pulled Sirius up the stairs to continue privately in their dorm.

"Merry Christmas, Moons." Sirius smiled just before the door closed behind them.

[biahouse]

Important, Gregory House x Reader

(This is my first story on Tumblr, and also my first Gregory House story. English is not my language, technically all of this is Google translate, so I apologize for any mistakes. But I hope you like it, I have a lot of ideas about our crazy doctor)

You love House. He doesn't care about anyone, but he cares about you. That's something, right?

The first time you met Gregory House was at your job interview.

You knew House's fame in the medical field, so your dream was to work with him and learn about his somewhat orthodox methods.

What you didn't expect was to be completely enchanted by the man 15 years older than you. House was moody, irritating, stupid, arrogant. A card-carrying asshole.

But there was something that made you suspicious every time he entered the diagnostic room. However, you weren't the only one.

You were good at hiding your crush on House, but Cameron always let it be known how much he liked his boss and what deeply upset you.

You were nothing compared to Alisson Cameron. Cameron was beautiful, kind, hardworking, confident. Everything you could never be, even if you tried hard.

That's why you shelved your feelings, buried them at the bottom of your chest and tried to hide as much as you could.

3 years have passed since you joined the team, and now with the departure of Chase, Cameron and Foreman, you were the only original member and House became more and more dependent on you. You have now done the work of four people.

And like a good doctor, you did your best to treat every patient who arrived at the department in the best way possible. But it was exhausting you.

The dark circles became increasingly prominent. You were sure you had lost 2kg in that week alone, since you didn't have time to eat and your hair fell out more and more every time you combed your hair.

But it was three weeks after you were working almost alone in the diagnostics department that your body reached its limit.

House and you were discussing what could be ailing an elderly man when he came up with a really interesting theory.

As always, you were sent to do tons of tests, but the moment you got up from the chair, your entire body lost consciousness.

“House” you mumbled the man’s name as you felt your entire vision blur.

"Yes?" The man responded, distractedly analyzing the symptoms chart.

"I think I'm going to pass out" was the last thing that came out of his mouth before the world went black.

•••

You heard the machine beep before your eyes could discover the place around you. It was hard to open your eyes, the bright lights of the hospital room shining brightly into your eyes.

You could feel your throat dry, and the various threads clinging to your body. It was uncomfortable and you tried to adjust yourself on the hard bed.

"I wouldn't move if I were you" House's unmistakable voice sounded in the room and his gaze shifted to the man lying on the bedroom sofa. "Welcome to the world of the living"

“Hi,” your voice sounded hoarse and you coughed, feeling your throat raw.

"Here" House stood up at an impressive speed and handed him a glass of water with a straw. You sipped the liquid with relief, your throat feeling better within seconds.

"How long was I gone?"

"2 days" House limped so he could check his devices. "You were exhausted, dehydrated and malnourished. New diet?" The man joked.

"The patient..." You started to get worried about the man they were treating.

"You're impressive" House looked at you curiously. "I tell you she's a living dead woman and you care about the patient."

“I’m fine” You waved your hand at him.

"It's not what your scans say" He shook the folder in his possession. "Why didn't you tell me that you couldn't do everything alone?"

“Because I can do it” You insisted.

"You're going to have a week off, until you can recover. In that time, I'm going to review some resumes, you need help" House said once again looking deeply at you.

"Why? You don't want new people on the team, you hate change" you tried to argue, knowing what the man was like.

"But I care about you. I think that's more important than my distaste for people" His admission scared both of you, but neither would admit it."Rest, I'll be back in a bit, with something called food"

And with that he left the room. Leaving behind your flushed face and your racing heart.

[puhpandas]

Carbon Fiber Hilt

(3,551 words) warnings: mentions of death, mind control, spiraling, panic attacks, knives, blood, trauma. the usual kinda

Gregory, while over at Tony's house, is asked to cut the vegetables for dinner. He never really was able to get over the feeling of the hilt of a knife in his hand.

Gregory hasn't picked up a knife since that night. He hasnt had any reason to. Vanessa has also avoided being even near one like the plague.

He hadn't had a reason to for a long time. A year and a half, actually. Maybe just a bit less than that. Knives were scarce in a house full of people terrified of them, and they were never needed when Vanessa would find meals to make that distinctively did not require one to prepare.

But time has passed. A lot of it has. And Gregory should have known he wouldn't have been able hide from one forever.

Its not the first time Gregorys been to Tony's house. It's small and old, and it shows in the asymmetrical-ness and appearance, but it's not a dump. It's very well kept and lived in, and its evident; theres flowers in the front yard and a birdhouse and a little rainbow pinwheel. Theres windchimes that Gregory can always hear from inside on particularly windy days and the place is made almost entirely out of old wood. It's just old.

Gregory never understood why Tony is so embarrased to take him here. His Mom and Grandma are really nice. His Grandma has wisdom to share and a glint in her eye, and she has crows feet all across her eyes that show off how much she smiles. Tony's Mom isnt much different. She also smiles, but it's more optimism and less joy. Theres bags under her eyes that show how shes struggled but a shine in her eye that tells that she isnt unhappy. Gregory thinks he sees that in Vanessa a lot.

Its comfortable at Tony's house, in a way that Gregory's apartment he shares with Vanessa and Freddy isnt. He loves his home, but theres a distinctness between the landlord white paint and gray cabinets in his house and the rich, homey wood of Tonys.

Gregory feels comfortable there. He thinks that Tony's family catches onto the same thing one day where they ask him if he wants to help with dinner.

"Mom." Tony grits out incredulously after she asks the question, her head peeking through the arch leading to the kitchen. "Greg shouldn't have to do that, remember?"

"Its okay, Tony." Gregory smiles easily, and any contempt he'd felt on his behalf seems to melt away when Tony catches his eye. "I don't mind helping."

That's how he ends up in the kitchen, shoulder to shoulder with Tony (he tries not to be too hyper aware of that) and his Grandma, stood in front of the counter.

"Perfect timing." Tony's Grandma grins at Gregory. "I needed someone to cut the vegetables anyway."

She then gestures to the counter, and the implications don't click in Gregory's head until far too late. He turns to look at the counter, and there, by the cutting board, is a-- knife.

Its blade is a clean, silver-ish white, and the hilt a black with the telltale three dots in the handle.

Before, he could hear the simmering of meat and smell the delicious aroma of whatever food Tony's family is cooking up. As soon as he lays eyes on the blade, it all washes away.

He knows he goes rigid against Tony's shoulder. The fabric of his T-Shirt rubs uncomfortably against his arm, and flashes and memories of a brown fursuit enter his mind without permission.

It's almost comical, how much it looks like the one he had--

"Greg?" Tony's voice rips him out of it, and it's only now Gregory realizes he was spiraling. The sound of cooking food and the sight of the yellow countertops, and Tony's worried face enter his vision.

He sets a hand on his arm, and all Gregory can do is stare with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He's suddenly aware of the hammering in his heart, and that's the only thing that reminds him to breathe.

He breathes in slowly, not wanting to attract attention from Tony's family. Tony looks at him, and Gregory recognizes the concern in his eyes. It would be far from the first time Gregory has spiraled in front of Tony; hes done it unprompted countless times before. Tony is sometimes even a trigger himself.

Gregory catches Tony's gaze and Gregory can tell he's searching for what's wrong. Gregory shakes his head, trying to clear away the fog, and he returns the hand on Tony's arm, trying to smile. He doesnt know if it works or not.

"Its okay." He tells Tony. "I'm okay. I swear."

The entire time, he keeps his gaze carefully away from the knife still sitting untouched by the cutting board. Thankfully, Tony's family doesnt comment on how he hasnt started yet. Gregory exhales shakily when he can see the glint of the blade in the corner of his eye, but he stubbornly pushes it down, keeping his eyes on Tony.

"I-- I swear." He repeats, but it's way less certain than he wants it to be.

Thankfully, though, Tony let's it go. He just nods, turning to whatever it is his family asked him to do. Gregory doesnt look away immediately, and he can feel Tony glancing at him from the corner of his eye with worry. A watchful gaze.

He can see the silver shining in his peripherals. He knows it's there, and yet, despite how much he stubbornly hates how much it can send him shaking like a leaf, he cant force himself to look at it.

That's okay, he tells himself. Sometimes you arent ready to see things head on. Sometimes, when he and Tony sleepover at eachothers places, either of them can wake up from a nightmare and not be able to even see the other. Those nights, Gregory will just hold his hand to let him know hes there, and Tony will do the same for him.

That's what he needs to do. Touch is a way to dip your toe into the water, right? Gregory may not be ready to see a knife yet, but maybe he can still do what Tony's family wants him to without crumpling in on himself.

He can still feel Tony's intense look on him. He hasnt shifted his gaze away from the random spot on the counter this whole time. His shoulders shake, but he pushes past it, ignoring how he can only inch towards the handle instead of grabbing it. The simmering of the food on his left consumes his senses. It sounds like static.

His hand inches closer, and Gregory curses inwardly at how his hand trembles. It's just a knife. It's just a knife. Everybody can use a knife. It's just for the vegetables.

It's only because hes focused on his inner thoughts does his hand not retract away like it had been burned when it gets close. Hes unaware, blissfully for a moment, as his hand grows closer.

The handle of the knife (carbon fiber. he shouldn't know that.) only brushes against his fingertips.

It happens suddenly. In the split second his fingers touched the material, he felt the ridges in the material, the rough texture of the hilt. He felt electricity shoot up his arm so bad it hurt. He felt the way his shoulder jerked when his hand retreated so quickly you would think the knife bit at him. It might as well have.

The sudden movement of his arm drawing back and the burning touch of the knife's hilt makes him spiral. Hes all too aware of the burn in his shoulder blade and all he can think about is plunging the knife deep into something. Swinging with all his might with the intent to kill. The blade digging into something soft. Flesh.

His vision darkens around the edges. Somebody is talking to him-- Tony, he can recognize. He cant see him, because his eyes have gone dark. His arms are glued to his sides. The darkness creeps around the edge of his vision, like shadowy tendrils, and immediately, panic grips his insides.

Hes back. Hes taking back over. The shadow always meant he was being put under. No. No. He doesnt want to. He wants to go home he never wanted to do this. He never wanted to be so painfully aware of what it was like to live in shadows. In darkness. Underground where prying eyes could never see.

Gregory thinks there are hands touching his shoulders and his arms. His eyes are wide; he can feel the skin stretching. Hes aware of burning eyes enough with how much he tries to scrub the shadows away and this is no different.

His feet move, but he isnt aware of making them. The darkness is still here, and he doesnt know where hes going. Who's touching him. Hes back. hes back hes back hes back he has my body hes never going to let me out hes going to kill everyone--

All hes aware of is how it feels like hes back. He doesnt acknowledge a door closing, or how the floor transitions into hard wood to carpet, or how his breathing stutters and stalls like a car failing to start.

He's back there, and all he can feel is the hopelessness and incapability of being trapped. Locked away tight. Unable to fight back. Doubled down on because hes the favorite the favorite the wizards most favored apprentice--

"Greg?" Hands push at his shoulders, and Gregory feels the wall touch his back and his body slide down the wall. His shirt rides up his back, and all he can feel is the wet, sweaty fursuit riding on his skin. Rubbing it raw with plush and blistering when it gets sticky with blood. "Greg, can you hear me?"

He shakes his head, over and over, deliriously. He cant revel in the fact that he can control himself when he swears the voice is calling out to him. Can you hear me? You dont know me, but I know you. I can tell we're going to be great partners.

"Gregory, please--" The voice begs. Gregory pauses. The voice never begged. It only commanded. Directed. Instructed. "You cant breathe! You gotta listen to me. Hear my voice! Its Tony. Okay?"

The fog encompassing his mind (hes back hes back) lifts ever so slightly, enough for him to think. The fact that he can think at all propels him to push, and it's like it all comes rushing back. A kitchen. A knife. A house.

"You arent being controlled. He isnt back, okay? I know that's what you're thinking and its not true. Your brain is playing tricks on you again." The voice reaches him, and Gregory latches onto the familiarity of it, the tone and the richness but roughness of it making it through. "Trust me. Please."

Gregory never wanted to trust the voice. He never wanted to. He never did. But it had always been too late before.

He knows he would never want to trust the voice, but he finds that here, he does. He would never view the voice positively. The tightness in his chest and the darkness encompassing him ebb ever so slightly, and he peers through the cracks, like looking at the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

Tony he realizes. And with that comes the floodgates. Tony. Tony wouldnt be here if Gregory hadn't broke free last year. Gregory wouldn't be here if he hadn't broke free last Spring.

He pushes, and the black edging his vision let's up enough for him to see. He's in Tony's room, he can tell that much, and he can see that Tony himself is on his knees on the carpet in front of him, even through the fog, Gregory can see the panic and the worry on Tony's face.

"T--" His breath stutters. "Tony."

It's like seeing underwater, but Gregory can see the way Tony sags in relief at that. "Yeah, Greg. Its me." His voice reaches his ears, and Gregory revels in it. He revels that it reminds him of all those times he listened to Tony's voice to remind himself he's still here. That they both are. "You're at home, with me. Okay? You got freaked out over something but you're fine now. You can start coming back down to earth."

Despite himself, and the way his fingers still tingle and burn from where the handle of the knife burned him, he chuckles. "Says you."

Tony laughs as well, and Gregory feels the smile stretch on his face instinctively at the sound. It's like throwing him a rope, the beautiful sound, and he grabs ahold of it with both hands. "So you're probably feeling better now."

The final bits of blurriness ebb from his vision, and hes able to see clearly. He takes a moment, taking in Tony and the yellows and greens of his room and his green jacket and his blue eyes and his smile.

His body aches. His shoulders burn from how they're hunched, and Gregory's just able to stop himself from spiraling again at how familiar it is. How his muscles would scream when he would be in control, but he'd never stop. Never rest. Never stop swinging until the task was done. The inherit lack of feeling pain is one of the most blaring memories Gregory has that makes him so certain whatever had him was more inhuman than he could ever imagine.

He loosens his muscles, and Tony stays silent, just watching him with concerned eyes. Gregorys hand still burns; it feels like sparks flew when he'd touched the handle of the knife and now he has the burns to prove it. It twitches, and Gregory grips at Tony's carpet to try to scratch the feeling away. It doesnt work.

Tony notices. He always does. It doesnt help that it was with his left hand. Tony's eyes soften, wide and worried, and Gregory let's himself stare back as he catches his breath and tries to focus on anything that isnt the tingling in his fingertips.

He's only mostly aware when Tony shifts positions to his left side. He presses himself flush against Gregorys shoulder, like at the counter, but before Gregory can think about touching the knife again Tony is grabbing his left hand.

"I'm sorry." He says. "I should have said something about the knife. Or stopped you. This could have been avoided if I hadn't just watched--"

"No." Gregory cuts him off, voice raspy and breathless. "Its not your fault. I should have known it was a bad idea. Its just been so long that I..." He trails off. It really isnt Tony's fault, too. Gregory knows what it's like to just watch.

"Its been a year and a half, Greg." Tony points out. "I think... I think anybody would understand if you never wanted to even see a knife again after what happened to you."

Gregory nods, and despite how much he hates it, he finds himself agreeing. "I never wanted to." He says. He shuts his eyes tight and focuses on Tony's hand in his instead of the burning in his fingertips. "I didnt want to. I tried to fight back but it only made-- I only--"

Tony shushes him, squeezing his hand and pressing their shoulders closer. He uses his fingers to fidget with the tips of Gregory's, and it washes some of the prickling away to make room for Tony's warmth. "I know, Greg."

"He made me pick one." Gregory whispers, voice shaking. "I had to choose which one to kill them all with. The one in the kitchen looked just like the one I--"

"He's gone, Gregory." Tony reminds him. "You broke free."

Gregory shakes his head, his throat still feeling dry. "No." He whispers. "I never-- I never got freed. Not like how I helped Vanessa." That fear, that long suffering paralyzing uncertainty that keeps him second guessing if anything is real comes back full force, and his breath hitches. He eyes Tony's face, and their hands, trying to ground himself before he spirals. "What if--"

"He wont." Tony tells him, and theres a certain assertiveness that forces some part of Gregory to believe him. To turn away from the shadows dancing across the walls of his mind. "And if he does, we'll save you. We won't let him hurt you or anyone else."

Gregory revels in the reassurance, knowing that he's said the same thing to Vanessa multiple times. If Gregory has been able to believe it for her, maybe theres some hope for him as well. He breaths out a shaky puff of air, and he doesnt realize his eyes are unfocusing again until Tony squeezes his hand.

"I wont let him hurt you." Tony says, and theres some sort of edge to his voice that makes Gregory glance up at his face. Theres a shadow under his brow and a darkness to his eyes, but Gregory knows the anger is not directed at him. Not when Tony meets his eyes and they soften immediately. "You broke free for me all that time ago. Just so he wouldnt hurt me. I'll be there to ground you, or-- or to save you instead of the other way around."

Despite himself, Gregory's able to crack a smile at that, small as it is. He glances down at their hands, and feels the pressure. It's not cold like the handle of a knife, nor uncomfortably hot hot hot from the sweltering insides of the suit he had been trapped in. His hands do not twitch under plush and fabric; they curl around Tony's fingers, and the pressure is comforting. Welcome.

"My knight in shining armor." Gregory says quietly. Its something Vanessa would joke about when they'd talk about it and the games would be brought up. A little knight and the lost princess.

Gregory doesnt think apprentices have knights. Maybe that's what he had intended all along. No chance of getting out. No chavelry in silver armor to ride up and save you. Just the apprentice and the wizard.

Tony's fingers twitch themselves, and they shift to squeeze tighter around Gregory's own, entertwining like steel chainmail. My knight in shining armor he thinks. Maybe knights dont need a princess to be heroes.

Its warm; theres only the soft light of Tony's bedroom lamp on his desk with scattered notes and his own drawings carefully stacked around the edge, and Gregory can still hear the faint clattering of dishware across the house. The sky outside the window is a deep blue, and theres no purple to be found.

Tony's hand sends prickles up Gregorys own, but it's not like the rubbing of skin against plush fabric. It's not unwelcome. It's like fireworks dancing across his skin, electricity buzzing across his fingertips and his knuckles.

Gregory heaves out a final breath, and all the tightness in his chest leaves with it. Gregory can see how Tony smiles at him in-between the steadily dissipating darkness, and Gregory hangs onto it. It's a smile like one hes never seen before. Soft, crinkled at the eyes and filled with nothing but fondness.

Nothing like his smile. Nothing like the frozen grin when Gregory'd do a job well done. The grin that'd stick onto his face even when Gregory refused to--

"I think I'm ready to go back now." Gregory says, his voice clear now and unmuddled to his ears. It's only now that he realizes that he's still leaning against Tony against the door of his room, and their hands are still entertwined. His fingers are tingling, and it's only now that they twitch, but for a completely different reason. The shoulder that's pressed up against Tony's is warm and Gregory is painfully aware of it.

Not in a bad way. Gregory knows what it's like to be warm in a bad way. This is comforting in the way only Tony is. Even Vanessa and Freddy feel different than this.

Tony hums next to him, and doesnt move to get up at all. "My Mom will come get us when dinners done." He says, and his hand grips tighter and his shoulder presses closer. His neck twists to look over at him, and Gregory has to fight to not look away when he turns his face the same direction and they meet eyes.

Theres a brief, stuttering moment where they dont move at all. Dont breathe. But then Gregory is letting his forehead tip into Tony's shoulder and lie there.

"Okay." Is all he says. And that's it. Tony leans his head on Gregory's hair, and Gregory has to hide his smile at how he can hear Tony's heartbeat from the proximity and it's going a hundred miles an hour.

Gregory shuts his eyes at some point, and the darkness does not creep around the edges and pull him under. He's safe right now. Tony is here, and Tony would not be here if Gregory wasn't.

Tony squeezes his hand in between his chatting once, then twice, and any shadows that try to reach the window of his mind retreat. He's only aware of the smell of food wafting under the door, Tony's voice rambling on about something, and the warmth of Tony's hand in his.

ao3 link

[biboomerangboi]

​I’m writing a stobin platonic soulmates au so I thought I’d share some headcannons I came up with for things I believe Steve and Robin did pre season four to cement their friendship.

Steve cut Robins hair because she was going through a mental freak out about how she felt like an entirely different person now and she wanted to reflect that before school started, so she tried to do it herself cause shes broke and Steve who cuts his own did it for her.

Decided to watch all the horror movies in family video to see if their was any survival tips they could glean from watching and ended up comforting each other through triggering parts and laughing at other things together because a lot of this looks fake now in comparison.

Took the kids to the arcade and went in cause it was to cold to sit in the car and they hadn’t got their jobs at family video yet. They ended up getting into a really long and really competitive game of air hockey that gathered a crowd because they both were to competitive to give up. Robin used the angles strategy, Steve used jock reflexes. He won the first game, now they go after work some nights and have rematches. They are currently tied.

Speaking of family video, I feel like they did the applications together and Robin corrected Steve a lot on things I forgot to put down, or fixed his wording to sell himself more because he has things like: played basketball, and not “was captain and therefore have leadership skills cmon Steve.” They also broke into Steve’s dads office to write them and used a lot of his fancy paper.

Came up with a joint backstory for Ericas Dnd campaign where they are twins. Robin is really good at the roleplay and Steve gets really good roles. When Robins character died and she gave a speech both Dustin and Steve cried and since then he’s tried to convince her to run off to Hollywood to be an actress so he can be her trophy husband and Robin rolls her eyes at him.

Got one of those two ring joint floaties and sat in Steve’s pool to help him with his fear of his backyard. They started talking about their biggest fears together and it helps.

Robin gets Steve to come to hippy Christmas but he’s to scared to show up empty handed so they both try to make a bunch of Christmas cookies but they keep getting distracted and some of them are burnt. Robin hides it with icing. Her parents love Steve after that.

Steve comes out to Robin when they both go to a party together, get wasted and end up hungover and puking together in the bathroom. He said it was cause it brought back memories.

Robin doesn’t have a lot of money come Christmas so she goes thrifting and upgrades an old bomber to make Steve something like a letterman since she’s noticed he’s uncomfortable wearing his own. He cries because it’s the first time someone has ever made him a present before.

Steve accidentally overhears people talking about queer stuff and spur of the moment drives himself to Indy and finds the bookstore they were talking about and buys Robin any book the cashier recommends. She hides them in Steve’s house and reads them religiously.

They have a plan to go to a gay bar during Spring Break. They would have went before then but Robin didn’t have a fake ID and Steve had to get in contact with his old crowd to get her one.

They legit have a plan to get Married once Robin graduates, but she wants to come out to the kids first so there’s no misunderstandings, they both just want the security and the safety what a lavender marriage could do for them and have very detailed plans on how to arrange elaborate affairs while doing this. In contrast their wedding plan is either a courthouse or if Will gets to them Vegas.

Robin encourages Steve’s inner mean girl. She also is mean and they both have a very cutting commentary on half of the family video clientele. When Erica comes by she joins in. She is also holding them to the free ice cream bet so they both have a swear jar they both contribute to as an Erica ice cream fund. It was Robins idea.

Robin actually can drive and she does drive at night on backroads in Steve’s car when the kids aren’t there. Steve thinks it’s a cool little chilling out ritual, he’s literally horrified to hear she doesn’t have a license and that’s why she doesn’t drive in the day or with the kids.

Steve brings Robin to babysit the kids a lot and she complains for a bit until Mike says she’s like the cool dad and Steve’s the weird overbearing mom. Steve makes a joke about Karen that is so cutting Robin chokes on her drink but she doesn’t complain after that.

Half of the marching band, Kieth and the some of the kids (Dustin, Mike and Will) think they are legit dating, when they are asked they both make gross sounds and pretend to puke but five minutes later they will be sitting on top of each other.

They are banned from being on the same team during charades because the second Steve stood up and made a single gesture Robin got the answer. The kids thought it was a fluke at first then Robin stood up and Steve did the same damn thing. Dustin is convinced the Russians gave them mind powers.

They have a lot of sleepovers. At Steve’s, Robin sneaks in around the back and uses a key she copied and never told Steve about, he genuinely believes she’s breaking in and is impressed by it. Steve climbs in her window and hides under her bed when her parents come in.

So much more but that’s about the gist of it. They just love each other dearly and mean a lot to me!!! They are best friends forever I swear!!

[carabalism]

lucky penny

pairing(s) michonne x teen!reader, prison group x teen!reader (platonic)

synopsis michonne finds a prisoner in the governor's apartment instead of penny.

warning(s) abuse, canon typical violence/gore, reader is aged 15-16

a/n do not force yourself to read this if you are uncomfortable with the topic of abuse. i may make a part two but im not too sure tbh

masterlist

with what little strength she had, y/n began to push her body against the metal gate in front of her. it was always locked. the governor wouldn't be so careless with something that could tarnish how woodbury saw him. a door on the other side of the gate was kicked down and y/n instinctively flinched back, falling down onto her back. her breathing was raspy from being denied food and water for a while.

the sound of the gate being unlocked caught her attention. she was almost free.

"oh my god..” after only hearing the governor’s voice for so long, it was a relief to hear a woman’s voice, "it's okay, come here."

y/n hesitantly stepped forward, stumbling ever so slightly. she was malnourished, dehydrated and hadn't properly walked longer than she could remember.

"it's okay, you're fine, i'll get you out of here." the woman reassured y/n again, lifting the bag over her head. y/n stared at the woman with wide eyes, but michonne wasted no time releasing y/n from her chains and bounds.

“hey!" y/n turned back to the governor in horror, her mouth opening and closing, trying to speak, but nothing was coming out. she was petrified by the man and michonne knew it.

“hey now... don't hurt her..." the governor held his hands up, “i know this looks bad, but i promise ya' there's an explanation for this little misunderstandin’.”

y/n moved michonne's arm, making it seem like she was threatening y/n. y/n may have been weak and completely vulnerable, but she was smart. she knew what strings to pull with the governor, she knew how sick men's minds worked.

"michonne, we can be reasonable people about this!" the governor flashed a smile. the one thing y/n always noticed is how his smile never reached his eyes. his eyes remained cold and lifeless. he'd mastered the skills to manipulate an entire town, but the mask he wore was poor - anyone could tell how he felt if they just payed attention to him for longer than a second. he couldn't help but let his mask slip every time he didn't get his way his annoyance was evident with every obstacle he faced.

"you run when i say, you hide and i'll find you," michonne whispered through gritted teeth, keeping her voice quiet enough to not be caught by the governor, but just loud enough that y/n could hear.

"michonne... you don't want to do this," he laughed, wiping a hand over his mouth, "a kid killer? is that really who you are?"

"at least i'm not a sick bastard." michonne hissed back, venom dripping from her tongue. she noticed the governor reach for something behind him. a gun.

"now." michonne whispered, shoving y/n towards the door, knocking the governor off his balance. his gun misfired and y/n immediately ran for cover, hiding behind a piece of furniture. instead of going for y/n, the governor lunged at michonne. y/n listened to the sounds of the two struggling, her eyes filling up with tears as her body filled to the brim with fear and adrenaline. this could go only two ways. michonne lives and she was free, or the governor kills michonne and something much worse happens to y/n. it had been a long time since y/n had prayed for anything, but in that moment she clasped her two hands together and prayed for the governor's death. not a quick death. a slow, agonising death that would reveal only but a sliver of the pain the governor had put her through, forced her to endure. the governor's screams only brought a smile to her face. the governor was far from being worthy of her sympathy. it wasn't the world that turned to shit, it was the people. the governor had been cruel to others far longer than he would ever admit.

the apartment door burst open and y/n stared at the blonde woman with wide terrified eyes. the woman only ran past her, not even sparing a glance at her. y/n peaked her head out, watching the blonde woman hold a gun to the woman that had saved her. she then glanced at the crying governor, who had a shard of glass lodged into his eye.

"what have you done?" andrea questioned, her heart breaking at the sight she had ran into. the image of the fish tanks would forever be in her mind. a few quiet words were exchanged between the two women, but they were barely audible to y/n. she tucked herself back into her hiding spot waiting for michonne.

"come on." michonne muttered, making her way to the door. y/n didn't hesitate and followed after michonne, but she wasn’t fully there with her. her mind was busy taking in the things she hadn't felt for a very long time: the feeling of the ground on her feet as she walked, walking in general was foreign to her at this point.

"can you run?" michonne questioned y/n, leading her outside, "there's a group i'm with. they're not dangerous, but you stay with me unless i say so, got it?”

y/n nodded, "i trust you.”

"you shouldn't." michonne began running down to a spot in the fence that she had broken while she was in woodbury, she never stayed in a place without a backup plan.

"go." michonne nodded towards the gap, holding the metal back to widen the gap. y/n quickly slipped through the fence and michonne followed.

"stay close and stay quiet." michonne led y/n around the walls of woodbury and then through a bush, but when y/n reached the other side of the bush she was met with the sight of a bunch of weapons pointed at her face.

"where were you!" rick hissed, careful to keep his voice down to avoid being heard, "you get what you came here for?"

the man approached michonne, his body posture telling y/n that this man was likely not a friend to michonne. she remained behind michonne, gripping onto the back of her shirt for any sort of comfort.

"rick..." y/n stared at the woman who spoke up, "she's got a kid."

rick's head snapped back to maggie and then back to michonne. he stepped back and finally noticed the young girl cowering behind michonne.

"who is she?" rick questioned, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes squinted.

"she's with me." michonne instinctively put an arm out in front of y/n, who had not said a word in a while. rick saw the terrified look on the girl's face and lowered his gun, but still just as frustrated with michonne.

"you may be pissed with me, but you know you need me." michonne glared at rick. she was right. he knew that.

"what's your name kid?" glenn asked, leaning on the car, next to where y/n had sat down. y/n looked up at him and took in his injuries and stayed silent for a moment, unsure if she wanted to deal with her throat hurting from speaking, but she assumed she owed them something at the very least, "what'd he do to you?"

glenn scoffed, amused, "so you speak."

y/n rolled her eyes and looked back at the ground, "the governor do that to you?" she repeated.

"yeah, but it was mostly this other guy," glenn frowned, the images of what he had just experienced flashed through his mind, "asshole.”

"watch your mouth." y/n muttered, pulling her socks further up her legs.

"sorry," glenn lowered his voice, trying to keep his aggression at bay. judging by what the girl looked like, glenn knew she must've been put through some serious shit. her clothes were torn and she was filthy, but her eyes is what glenn noticed the most. she was exhausted, maybe even something beyond that.

“y/n..." she looked back up at glenn.

"y/n," he nodded, "it fits."

y/n frowned and looked back at the ground, "haven't been called that name for a while..”

"can i ask what he did to you?" glenn squinted his eyes, a nervous habit he had developed as a child. it was how his sisters knew when he lied.

"i don't think you want to know," y/n looked up at the sky and tried her best to will her tears away, "it's been a long time since i've seen the sun."

"I'm sorry you went through that."

"don't be," y/n looked back at him, "she got me out, i owe her everything."

glenn glanced towards michonne, who had already been watching him with a cautious stare, he nodded at her - a silent acknowledgment to the good deed she had done.

"you rest in the car, you look like you need it." glenn reached over and pulled the car door open for her, "you're safe, get some rest."

"you look like you need to rest yourself." y/n replied, but crawled into the car anyways. the road wasn't the smoothest of surfaces for her to be standing on with just socks to protect her feet.

"nah, i'm fine."

y/n nodded, understanding why he had suddenly closed himself off. from what she gathered, glenn had been tortured by the governor and someone else, but his girlfriend had also been held captive with him. y/n could only guess what the governor had done, but she knew from experience it must have been cruel.

michonne leaned against the car door y/n had just shut, hoping that her presence would allow the girl to relax enough to get some rest.

"who is she?" glenn asked, looking up at michonne from the ground. he was far too tired to stand up and wait around for the rest of the group, but also far too exhausted to complain about the discomfort the road brought him.

"don’t know," michonne revealed honestly, "when i was in woodbury, i saw them through a window. hadn't seen her around woodbury and he never mentioned her, i knew he was up to no good."

"did he..." glenn frowned, not wanting to finish his question. everything inside him wanted michonne to say that nothing had happened to the young girl, but he knew after what had happened with maggie, that the governor was not to be trusted. he was a twisted, sick man.

“i think so.” michonne glared at the sky, the fact someone could harm a child in such a way burned her insides. she wanted to kill the governor for what he had done, what he will continue to do.

“glenn!” rick yelled from the woods, glenn stood up and ignored the aches in his body.

“rick.” he groaned, his body struggling to support his weight while he limped uphill, “oh thank god.”

“now we got a problem here, i need you to back u-“ rick was interrupted by glenn as soon as he spotted merle.

“what the hell is he doing here?!” glenn yelled, his gun raised and pointed at merle. michonne had similar ideas, as her sword was out and ready the moment the cocky redneck was in her field of vision.

“hey, hey, hey!” rick yelled at the two, putting himself in front of them to stop them from attacking merle. if it had been up to him, merle wouldn’t have been there in the first place.

“hey put it down!” daryl yelled, whilst maggie rushed towards glenn asking him to put his weapon down, “put it down!”

“he tried to kill me!” michonne cried, her sword pointed at rick’s chest, whilst his gun was pointed at her head. the sound of michonne yelling had woken y/n up and she had exited the car, her feet ached and the ground was anything but gentle to her skin. the only barrier between her feet and the ground was a pair of fluffy socks she had from before the turn had happened. her walk was wobbly, unsteady and she struggled to stay upright, but she wanted to see what was happening. she hid behind a tree and peaked at the group of people with weapons raised.

“if it wasn’t for him-!”

“he helped us get out of there!” daryl defended his brother.

“yeah right after he beat the shit out of you.” rick growled.

“hey, we both took our licks, man.” merle scoffed. y/n squinted her eyes at the man, his voice was familiar - she was sure she had heard him in the governor’s apartment before.

“jackass.” daryl shook his head at his brother.

“hey, shut up!”

“enough!” rick had finally had enough, but the second he turned his back michonne took a step forward with her sword. the group erupted into several small arguments and y/n blinked at them from her hiding place. what an odd group of people.

“get that thing outta ma face!” daryl yelled at glenn, who backed off slightly.

“man, looks like you’ve gone native, brother.” merle chuckled, making daryl turn around with as much fury as he had done when glenn held a gun to his head.

“no more than you hangin’ out with that psycho back there.”

“oh yeah man, he is a charmer i got to tell ya that.” merle’s words made y/n cringe, she turned around and sat on the ground, waiting for the adults to finish their argument. now that the governor had been brought up, y/n had no interest in eavesdropping. she already knew far more than she wanted about the man.

“been putting the wood to your girlfriend andrea,” merle smirked at michonne, “big time, baby.”

“what?” glenn hissed, “andrea’s in woodbury?”

“right next to the governor.” daryl confirmed.

michonne stepped forward again with her sword and rick instantly stood in front of her, “i told you to drop that!”

“you know andrea?” rick narrowed his eyes at michonne, “hey. do you know andrea?

y/n narrowed her eyes at rick as he got closer to michonne’s face, there was nothing she could do to stop the man, but if anything happened to michonne there wasn’t a soul in the group that y/n would trust.

“yep, she does.” merle answered for michonne, “her and blondie spent all winter cuddling up in the forest, mh-mmm-mmm, yeah. my nubian queen here had two pet walkers, no arms, cut off the jaws and kept them in chains. kind of ironic now that i think about i-“

“shut up!” daryl yelled.

“hey man, we snagged them out of the woods, andrea was close to dying.” merle shrugged.

“is that why she’s with him?” maggie asked.

“yeah.” merle nodded, “snug as two little bugs… so what y’gonna do now, sheriff, huh? surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs and cowards.”

“shut up!” rick’s eye twitched in annoyance, his patience was running thin. merle came up in rick’s mind every once in a while, but nothing could’ve prepared him for the pain in the ass merle dixon was.

“oh man, look at this. pathetic.” merle laughed, “all these guns and no bullets in them.”

“merle shut up!” daryl got close to merle, threatening his brother. he knew if he didn’t shut merle up soon, someone else was going to do it.

“shut up yourself! bunch of pussies you roll-“ y/n gasped as rick hit the back of merle. glenn turned around at the sound and saw y/n crouched behind a tree.

“asshole..” rick grumbled.

glenn walked away from the group, staring at y/n for a moment as he past him. michonne was the next to notice y/n was out of the car and ran over to her.

“you should be resting. you can’t even walk.” michonne hissed, her eyes scanning over y/n’s body to check for injuries.

“sorry.” y/n apologised, letting michonne help her walk back to the car. michonne opened door to the backseats and sat y/n down.

“you okay?” she asked, putting a comforting hand on y/n’s knee.

“thank you..” y/n whispered, her throat still scratchy from a lack of water, “thank you for getting me out.”

“don’t mention it,” michonne nodded, “i’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.”

michonne shut the door and leaned against it, watching the group talking - most likely about her. she could tell there was a disagreement between the three of them with the archer.

and then the archer was gone.

“we patch you up and then you are gone.” rick growled at michonne. she nodded and looked at the ground and then at the girl sitting in the backseat, staring back at her with wide, fearful eyes. michonne got into the backseat next to y/n once rick had moved out of her way. the car started and y/n gripped onto the seat tightly, it had been so long since she was last in a car. michonne noticed her fear and wrapped an arm over her shoulder, keeping her glued to her side. michonne noticed that y/n trusted her more than the other people, she knew when she had to leave the prison y/n would want to go with her, but the prison would be a safer option. they couldn’t send away a child. they weren’t those kinds of people.

“she’s out like a light.” y/n watched the older man examine michonne. she was thankful that there had yet to be any questions thrown her way, but with michonne asleep she knew it was only a matter of time before the old man’s attention was on her, “must be days since she slept, you look pretty shot yourself.”

“how long before she can travel?” rick interrupted hershel, his tone snappy and frustrated. y/n stared at him in disgust, michonne had saved her life and he was here treating her like a pest.

“have to keep an eye on her, pretty sure she has a concussion,” hershel made his way out the cell, the clicks of his crutches moving sounded eerily similar to the sound of the governor’s boots on the wooden floors of his apartment, “couple of days if she’s up. need to examine the girl as well.”

rick shut and locked the cell door, making eye contact with y/n briefly before he walked away with hershel. y/n looked back down at michonne and frowned, the poor woman was exhausted and injured. y/n couldn’t believe that rick wanted to send her away, not only was she injured, but she surpassed them in combat abilities. michonne could be an asset to him, but he was clearly not in the right mind to be thinking straight. y/n listened to the group talk about the governor, the sound of his name made her feel sick, but she knew she would have to fill michonne in after she woke up about what she had missed.

it was only when she heard yelling that she looked away from michonne and stood up. her legs were shaky under her, she could buckle at any moment and she wouldn’t be surprised. leaning against the cell door, she peered between the bars trying to catch a glimpse of what was causing commotion. there was nothing to see, but she could hear rick.

“i can’t help you. get out!”

y/n flinched away from the bars and stumbled over her feet, falling onto the ground. she pushed herself backwards until she felt the steel from the bed frame press against her back. she tucked her knees against her chest and wrapped her arms around them, burying her face in the gap between her chest and her knees.

“get… get out!” rick yelled again, “you don’t belong here! get out! please!”

y/n heard the click of a gun and she whimpered in fear. she was trapped in another cage by another man who had lost his way. her breathing became labored and if she wasn’t so dehydrated, she was sure she would’ve been crying.

“get out! get out!” rick cried, his voice cracking, “why are you here!“

“just go! go! go!” glenn yelled at the strangers, a part of him felt guilty for sending them out the prison, but rick was in no state to accept new people. he was far too unpredictable and glenn didn’t want someone to accidentally get shot.

y/n didn’t hear much of anything else, sounds around her blended together and she could almost hear the sound of her pulse racing. it wasn’t until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she realised someone had walked into the cell. she flinched from the touch and her head shot up to look at the person stood in the cell.

“are you okay?” hershel asked, a sad smile on his face, “let’s get you sat on a chair and checked, that okay?”

y/n didn’t trust him yet, she couldn’t trust him, but she nodded and stood up anyways. the last thing she would want is to upset the group, so she complied with their demands. it was what she was used to doing. complying. obeying.

“can you tell me your name?” hershel dragged a chair to sit across from y/n, leaning his crutches on the side of michonne’s bed.

“y/n..” y/n answered, her gaze fixated on his leg.

“i’m hershel,” he smiled again, trying to create a comfortable environment for the clearly scared girl, “do you have any injuries for me to look at?”

y/n shook her head, “not a scratch.”

he hummed in acknowledgement, nodding as he noticed her staring at his leg, “i was bit, rick saved my life.”

y/n looked away from hershel’s leg and into his eyes, he seemed like a genuine man, there were no manipulative undertones to his words and no glint in his eyes that hinted he was not what he portrayed.

“these people here are good people,” hershel looked out of the cell, “you may not trust us, i understand, but we’re good people.”

“your man wants to send an injured woman back out there,” y/n looked back at michonne, “how can you justify that.”

“i don’t,” hershel chuckled, shaking his head, “rick recently lost his wife, he’s not quite there at the moment, but he’ll bounce back in his own time i’m sure. he always does.”

“you have a lot of faith in him.”

“he’s the reason i still get to see my daughters everyday,” hershel gestured to his leg, “he’s an honest man, give him some time and he’ll prove himself.”

“how did he lose his wife?” y/n questioned.

“childbirth,” hershel sighed, “is it okay if i ask some questions of my own now?”

y/n looked down at her hands, she knew this was coming, but she hoped that she could stall the man, “go ahead.”

“how do you know this woman?” hershal looked at michonne.

“her name is michonne,” y/n whispered, “i don’t know her, but she saved my life. she could be an asset to your group… i know you see that.”

“i do,” he nodded in agreement, “rick needs to come around to the idea first.”

“you should never put a man like that in charge.” y/n hissed, “you never know what they’re capable of.”

“may i ask what happened to you?” hershel sighed, he had figured out that she was deflecting the conversation and he wouldn’t get anywhere with her if he wasn’t direct.

y/n looked him in the eyes and he could see the pain in her e/c eyes, “the governor.. he saved me from a group of men and took me to woodbury. the same day some scouts had brought back a massive haul of food and water… his lucky penny. that’s what he called me.”

“what happened next?” hershel questioned, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“he took me to his apartment and fed me. that was the last time i saw the sun.” y/n felt a shiver run down her spine and she wrapped her arms around her.

“i’m sorry you went through that,” hershel paused, “i’ll get you some new clothes and some shoes to wear, but i want to make sure you haven’t got any injuries that you’re hiding from me.”

y/n shook her head at the man and he nodded, “alright then. i’ll go get you those clothes.”

y/n looked at the ground and hershel slowly made his way to the cell door, “thank you.”

“no need to thank me, you make sure to get some rest too,” hershel nodded at the girl, a soft smile on his face, “i’ll make sure to bring you and your friend some water ‘n food.”

“thank you.” y/n expressed her gratitude again, but hershel could tell she wasn’t thanking him for the clothes, or the food, but she was just grateful to be away from the governor.

[heretherebedork]

Again and again, Only Friends brings in the many, many perspectives on sex and how people not just related to sex but relate sex to other people.

Boston finds his own value in sex. When asked about more or seeing others seek more, he looks down on it and disparages it or is just absolutely confused by the entire concept. Sex, for him, is utilitarian and pleasure, to be used to get what he wants and to control people and that is what sex is to him. Sex is about control and about pleasure and about his own importance and value and what he can get from people and the only thing he knows to give to people.

Nick is using sex to feel closer to someone he is coming to care about and falling in love with him through sex and hoping for more but never able to fully articulate what he wants so turning back to sex again and again to try to find what he wants only to realize that sex isn't what he wants here but he isn't getting anywhere with it either... but without it he has nothing of what he wants.

Sand is facing down his own rules about sex and friendship and relationships. He is looking straight at his own feelings and try to both face them and hide from them at the same time. He's playing with fire and he knows he can't control it, he knows he's losing the tenuous hold he had on his feelings, but he can't admit it because admitting means he will genuinely stop himself and pull away from Ray and he doesn't want to pull away from him. He wants to love him.

Ray has been using sex as an escape from his own feelings, just like he drinks to flee himself as well. But he also has an abiding and longlasting crush on Mew that has kept him from falling in love or acknowledging other people in his heart, even people he could have loved. He uses sex as an escape and even with Sand, who is definitely catching feelings for, he does not know how that face that part of himself because that part of himself has never felt worthwhile. He loves Mew without a chance or hope but he loves and loves and loves him and drops everything for him because that love for Mew feels better to him, that hopeless love is easier to handle than anything he'd have to work for.

Mew does not have sex. This is one type of control that he has, not having sex and drinking less than his friends. That's what he does. That's how he finds part of his identity. He chooses not to do what his friends do, to control himself, to watch them 'waste their lives' while he controls himself and feels in control, feels better about his choices, knows that he is making the 'right choice' over them. He wants his sex to look different than his friends, nothing casual, an entirely different kind of control than Boston and a different kind of escape than Ray.

Top is the one we can't be as sure about yet. He seems to treat sex as something that is simply... there. Possibly part of trying to make sure people are sleeping beside him at night. But all we've seen of him actually having sex is always in places that look deeply uncomfortable and is always entirely devoid of an emotion. He turned Boston down at the bar but still goes ahead with the sex twice after that. Top seems to have little to no control once it comes to sex. He won't act on his urges but he won't turn people down entirely either, not once they're offering him something he wants. Which is why the idea of him turning Mew down next week is beautiful. I would like that.

Sex is about control and desire and love and need and want and escape and every single character uses it differently and that's what makes the entire show so fascinating.

(I also posit that Boston and Mew are opposites, Sand and Ray are opposites and Nick and Top are opposites and that's why Sand and Ray are the couple most likely to actually work out in the show in my opinion. Everyone else has crossed wires across two relationships while Sand and Ray are just internally fucked up more than anything else.)

[harrysmimi]

CEOrry Pt. 3

Synopsis: One where things get messy but Patience is a virtue

Series Masterlist | More of my work

YN was nervous.

Very nervous to talk to Harry. He haven't got to see her because of her finals, apart from checking up on her through calls and texts. But her convocation is tomorrow and she's got a doctor's appointment for the 12th week.

She's started to show up pretty prominently now, especially to herself.

He's going to be excited, that's bound to be. He's also going to ask if he can feel the baby, though there's a doubt there's anything to feel and that inevitable that he won't ask that. YN's been feeling very uncomfortable in her body lately. Especially when she's gained a little weight. Healthy weight. But on the video call the other day her step mother was the first and very excited to point that out. That caused her father to ask her questions but nothing made him suspicious about anything.

But YN's also gotten obsessed her little baby bump. She should get used to this because she'll have to leave the little one growing in her womb. Which is not something she's really looking forward to. Her friends have been bugging her wanting to touch her belly, which she doesn't really have a problem with but she also doesn't want to be touched. Especially when she's been insecure about her body lately.

It's not the first time. But she's learnt a way to over come it and be confident in who she is and how she is.

Anyway she got into her knock off branded Adidas sweats, an old T-shirt and her dad's jerkin she stole years ago before she was on her way down stairs.

To her surprise, Harry came to pick her alone today. No Jeremy.

"Hey!" Harry beamed watching her get in the passenger seat.

"Hi." She smiled back as she buckled up her seat belt.

"How are you doing? Been long since I saw you." He pulled out of the parking spot, headed to the way of maternity clinic for her scheduled check up.

"I've been good." She shared, "morning sickness here and there, but I'm doing good."

"Why didn't you tell me, YN?" He scolded, lowkey.

"Is there anything you can do about morning sickness?"

"We would have figured something out." He looked pissed now, sort of, "or I could have called Dr. Wilson to see if there is something we can do."

"It's fine, Harry, I'll ask her about it today." She sighed in defeat.

YN have been feeling way too emotional lately. She cried last night because there was no milk for her tea at midnight. Poor Josh had to make a run to the grocery store last minute. Now she usually doesn't cry but she can't help it lately. And she felt bad for even letting her friend go out in middle of the night to get her some milk.

She sat there in silence the whole ride to the clinic, waiting for their turn. Just lost in her own thoughts.

What is she even doing?

Her dad is going to be upset with her, even though she's sure he'll come around and make peace with it. But disappoint someone who's always been so kind and loving and patient with her, her whole entire life?

It is going to be inevitable to hide from him. As her cousin is getting married just two and half months after she's due for delivery. And she has to be there because she's really close the cousin who's getting married. It js hard being around her relatives as it is, and her changed appearance is going to cause a lot of questions.

The truth is going to raise a lot of eyebrows towards her character. No one will understand why she's done what she's done. Nor does she expects anyone to. It's just that she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle all of this.

And surely her step mother is going to be using this against her. She has to tell her father before he hears it from someone else.

It was going to be just like when she started therapy at the age of thirteen. People in her family thought she was going mental. She really had to pull out of it because the bickering and gossiping was getting too much.

And it wasn't like therapy was working for her either way.

Loss of her own mother and her dad marrying again withing two years, shocked her. But she's made peace with it all now. Or has she really?

"YN?" Harry gentle touch on her shoulder brought her back to earth.

"Yes?" She gasped, "is it my turn?"

"No it's not. Not yet." Harry looked st her concerned, "YN, hey love, is everything okay?"

She realised she was crying again, "yeah, everything is fine." She assured him, laughing softly to make the vibe lighter around her. "I'm getting very emotional lately."

"That's okay." He rested his hand on her back, "you can talk to me if anything is bothering you, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded. "I just can't help it. I'm sorry!"

"Hey, come here." He cooed as he pulled her into a warm hug, "it's okay, you can cry. You sure there's nothing bothering you?"

"Mhmm." She lied.

"Okay. We have to wait ten minute, just a little heads up for you." He whispered to her. And she swore she felt a feathery kiss being placed on her hair!

"I'm going to ruin your white shirt, my mascara is not waterproof." She sniffled pulling away politely from him.

The bare minimum is gonna get her in deep trouble here!

He just nodded and sat there. Soon enough ut was her turn. Everything was fine, the baby is growing perfectly, YN's healthy too. No complications as well. Well, her tiny bump was no longer secret to Harry. He didn't say anything though.

And they got new pictures!

"Hey, are you mad?" She asked when they reached his car in the car park.

"No, I'm happy that the baby and you are healthy." He looked at her confusedly and concerned. "Let's go to my place, yeah? We can talk it over lunch. Just not here."

"Yeah."

......................................................................

His place looked slightly different.

YN's been to his house just a couple of times. Very humble looking for a millionaire. Just a four bedroom, three story house in a quiet and gated community.

She was very nervous to go to his house the first time when he asked her to meet him there for their agreement. She was also very intimidated by him the first time.

He stood almost a feet taller than her, bulky with his piercing green eyes and serious look. He is always wearing suits, which added to the intimidating vibes. YN found out he's got dimples just about few weeks ago!

Turns out he's a real softie in reality.

YN was very nervous obviously. She looked tired and shaken up. Desparate for help.

Now that he thinks behind he was too harsh on her. Like way too harsh. Interviewing her like he's going to hire her to hold all of his secrets to the grave. Part of him wanted to know all about her because the surrogacy thing doesn't allow him to read much about the personal choices she makes which may affect his future child.

Now, YN had partial idea of what she was getting herself into. She was stood in front of a giant front door to a fucking mansion. Shiny and expensive looking door handle. Two expensive looking pots with actual live plants in them on either side of the door.

She missed the huge dog by the gate which had two security guards dresses in all black who checked her stuff before she was allowed past the gates. She could see the flecks of what was the back yard from the side of his mansion.

Not realising she was stood there for more that several minutes as the door was opened even before she could get s chance to ring the door bell. There he stood, dresses in a baby blue shirt with a white sheer button down underneath it, a black Gucci belt held the pants to on his upper hips, a gold buckle on it. His shirt was partially open with a display of silver cross necklace he wore, and flecks of his chest hair. He stood about a foot or half taller than her there. Piercing green eyes and lucious eye lashes. Straight a prominent nose with lips of the softest shade of pink she has ever seen.

She shook off her thoughts knowing there is 98% chance he's married, wanting kids with his wife or husband or spouse.

"Hi, please come in." He stepped aside so she can get in.

YN clutched onto handles of her bag hung over her shoulders tightly as she walked in. She was expecting the partner to show up any time. She was more nervous for that. Harry asked her to take a seat as he walked in the kitchen asking if she would like anything to drink.

"Just water please." She shared. It didn't take him long to come back out with a glass of cold water and a mug of black coffee for himself. It was almost six in the evening and he was having a coffee.

YN was already sat, carefully on the expensive looking leather sofa clutching onto her bag for her dear life. She's never been this nervo before. Not even for her job interviews. She worked as a teacher at a pre-school for now and worked a second job on weekends and even on week days if she got time. She even saw a green and black files lying on the coffee table with a fancy looking pen.

"So you're really sure you want to do this, Ms. YLN?" He asked.

"Please, call me YN." She said nervously, "and ummm, aren't we going to wait for your partner..." She dragged out the word trying to figure out right words, "... spouse?"

"We won't have to, because I don't have one." He set his coffee mug down. "These are the agreements you can take this and read it please. And we'll work from there."

"That's it?" She was shocked. "You called me all the way here for this?" And now she's confused, because she already agreed to the online agreement she signed on the surrogacy site.

"You might wanna read that, Ms. YLN." He pointed out.

"Yeah, yes, I, I am gonna read it. Obviously." She still couldn't stop stuttering. "I thought you had me over because you wanted to ask few things, that's what your manager told me." She was very scared in that moment.

"Yes, but I figured it wouldn't be necessary." He shared.

YN opened the file to have a read at the agreement which didn't look that long. But it hit her.

"Wait, you clearly don't have a wife or a girlfriend or a partner or whatever!" She couldn't fathom what she was getting herself into, "this baby would be mine as well, unless you have an egg donor. Please tell me you have that sorted?"

"No, I don't." He admitted way too casually for her liking.

That didn't sit right with her. That baby would be hers as well then. She wouldn't want to give up her baby, and in future go on to pretend as if she doesn't have her first born somewhere in the world with her own kids she gets to keep.

Her mind was racing a hundred thoughts per minute as she read the agreement. The clauses had her feel more anxious. She has to quit her fucking job?!

He wad ready to agree on whatever amount she wanted in return!

There is no questions to be asked from the recieving party, where as she is obligated to answers every question. Especially questions related to her health and medical problems or history. It was for the safety of the child.

She can't see the baby after they're born.

"I'm sorry, I, I can't do this." She closed the file and placed it back on the table in from of her. "I can't give up my child like that. I thought you just needed someone to carry your baby for you and your partner. And, and I can't even ask questions?"  She was also on verge of crying. "I, I hope you understand."

"You'll get anything you ask for." He shrugged as if he was making a fucking business deal, "can sign you a cheque for a hundred thousand pounds now and we'll sort out the rest later."

"What? No!" She exclaimed, "you-- can I ask why you want a baby when you're clearly single?"

"You can't." He's very blunt with his answers. "No questions. Just let me know by the end of this week."

"You don't have to wait for the end of the week, I won't be doing this." She stood firm to her decision, "hope you find someone who's ready to work on your conditions, but I can't."

Harry was disappointed but he can't be really. She doesn't agree with it. He can't force her. And YN just left that day.

Just for her to call his manager back up ten days later, in desparation of agreeing but she wasn't going to quit either of her jobs. And that was final. To which he clearly agreed as he had no more patience in him.

And here they are.

His beige sofa and ottomans were switched to yellow sofa and a burgundy and blue side sofa chair thingies. A natural wood stock coffee table with a glass top was set in middle, on a Moroccan rug underneath. Apart from that everything was same.

"You got new sofa?" She asked.

"Yeah." He closed the door behind him after following her inside, "my god daughter, Ruby was over the other day and she spilt her blue paint all over me sofa. It looked like someone murdered a Smurf there." YN laughed at that.

"You want to take a seat whilst I go heat up the food?" He suggested, walking over to the dining area he pulled a chair for her.

"Yeah." She nodded. Placing her bag on the sofa she made her was to the dining area. "You can cook too?"

"No. No, no I can't." He chuckled sheepishly there, "Lizzie, my housekeeper and chef looks after this all."

"You have a personal chef?" YN couldn't believe what he said which shouldn't be surprising in the first place. He hummed to answer her. "Wow you're rich!"

"Well, I like to think that way." He shrugged.

"Some of us have to make our meals and sometimes that doesn't happen too. I'm so jealous of you!" YN groaned, "I want to be mega rich too someday."

"What do you mean that doesn't happen sometimes?" He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at her.

"What?" She looked at him nervously. She shouldn't have said that.

Her friends have been there for her recently. At least one of them is to make sure she's had all her meals. Even if that meant cooking for her (she's getting spoilt). YN haven't had to skip a meal because of anything since she found out she's pregnant. But before she could explain all of this, he snapped.

"I told you to move in with me!" He exclaimed, "at least you can have something to eat on time for fucks sake." His voice raised. YN was taken back because she's never heard him this loud.

"Harry, I can't just move in with you." She said, "I'd end up fucking homeless, I have no family here."

"So you think I'm going to kick you out after the baby is born as if I'm some kind of heartless monster?" He scoffed in disbelief, "you think that low of me, YN?"

"I, I never said that." She choked on her breathe trying not to cry, "I'm done. I can't cry in front of you again." She barged out to the living room and grabbed her her bag ready to leave. She lost her patience because he raised his voice again.

"Run away like you always do." He yelled from the other side of the room, "you're so scared of confrontations and talking, aren't you?"

"Learnt from you." She slipped on her shoes.

"YN you step one foot out." He warned her.

"Yeah? Watch me!"

"YN, stop!" He rushed to stop her from leaving, he grabbed onto her hand taking in a deep breath to calm himself down. "Hey, look I'm sorry. I, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you. Let's talk okay?"

"I am not scared of confrontations or talking, okay?" She laid it out clear in front of him, "you jump to conclusions without even listening to the person in front of you."

"Hey I'm really sorry." He whispered, "I wouldn't-- that won't happen again."

"No, stop." She whispered slipping her hand out of his. "Don't talk to me."

"I, I won't. Just please don't leave, okay?" He suggested, "we can just sit here and talk whenever you feel alright."

He heated up the food his chef made and left in the fridge. He usually eats the same thing for dinner so there was enough for the both of them. Eating in silence was really not something he enjoys but it's a better option than to leave things unsaid.

He noticed she barely ate anything, so he ordered something she eats usually. The handful of time they've had meals together and she gets the same thing.

"I don't want you to baby sit me, Harry. I'm not going to share a word!" She warned him. "This is so stupid. It's not like I'd die after skipping one meal. I made a freaking joke!"

"I'm not baby sitting you." He shrugged simply.

"You're making me eat forcefully, you're not letting me go back home alone. That's baby sitting."

"I'm looking out for you YN because I'm your friend, if that's what you call baby sitting then fine." He picked up his empty dishes and walked back into the kitchen, he frustratingly started cleaning the counter top, "I'd rather baby sit you than you passing out on an empty stomach. You know how bad being pregnant takes a toll on your whole body?" She sat there with her head down, still playing with her food and fork.

Of course he's going to look out for his baby.

"I've seen my friends and cousins go through this YN. Whilst I might have not everything but I know." He walked back to her. "I want you to be healthy as well. I want you to know that I don't back off my friendships. I shouldn't doubt you for looking after yourself, I apologise for that."

"Hmm." She sniffled. "And I'm crying again!"

"It's okay." He assured her, "it's alright."

"I, I, I need to tell my dad." She sobbed, "he can't know from anyone else."

"You can tell him." Harry wrapped his arms around her, "it's okay."

"I don't know. He's going to be so disappointed!" Her breath shuddered as she was crying so much.

"I'm sure he's not going to, YN." Harry rubbed her back gently, "you just need to explain it to him."

"You think so?"

"Mhmm." He nodded.

"I want to go home now, please."

"Yeah, I'm gonna take you home." He placed a kiss on her head before he was off to get his keys, "come on."

......................................................................

YN contemplated till it was too late for her to video call her dad. So she cried herself to sleep.

The next thing she heard was someone calling for her name softly, feeling a warm hand running up and down on her arm.

Wait... Is she dreaming?

Realising that made her wake up gasping.

"Hey, hey, you're okay." The familiar deep and raspy voice got her back to earth. It is Harry.

"Oh my god!" She sighed. "Please open the window. Please!"

"Yeah." He got up quickly and opened her windows to let the fresh air in and just as quickly got back to sit on the edge of her bed. "I didn't mean to scare you. Kayla let me in, wanted to come in and check on you."

"The baby is fine Harry." She sighed falling back in bed, pulling up her blanket to her chin as she tried to fall back asleep.

"YN, you still think I don't care about you?" He sounded so defeated, "you matter more, YN, okay? I've come in to check on you because you seemed so upset and anxious yesterday. Please, I need you to understand I'm not doing this just because I only care about my baby. You're my friend now!"

"Right." She nodded, "I want to sleep more still please, I'm very tired."

"Don't you have a convocation to go to?"

"It's today?" She asked, "oh my god, it's today!" And she realised it herself. "What the fuck, what the fuck!" She got out of bed in panic.

"Hey, be careful." He warned her.

"Get off my bed, I need to fix it!" She scolded him.

"Let me do it." He stopped her. "You go get ready. You've got barely three hours."

"No, it's fine let me—"

"I said go get ready, YN." He grabbed onto her arms to steady her, gently. "I'm going to be your escort for tonight."

"I don't an escort."

"Trust me you will, when Kayla and Julia are busy with their dates." With that he left her room.

"Harry, I don't need an escort!"

"I know." He called from the living room, "now chop-chop darling. You're going to be a Doctor of Philosophy today."

......................................................................

YN got ready as fast as she could. She couldn't waste much time.

Being pregnant is already getting to her head, she could barely imagine how she'd be when she's much further in. She was locked into her bathroom getting ready.

Her bedroom door doesn't lock up as the previous boy who lived there had it broken, some drunk college students were hooking up in his bedroom. Josh was super mad for that giy to even throw a party whilst the other three of the roommates were gone out of town.

Least to say, YN never got it fixed nor did their landlord. He's a dick!

Just as she was about slip on her dress, she glanced at herself in the mirror. She hates looking in mirror but she saw the little bump.

Well, she's practically naked, stood in her mismatched knickers and bra. Usually she's feel sexy, without even looking at the mirror. Mirrors are just self-districting weapons.

But she felt different there. Her body was growing another life inside of her. It was part hers. She shouldn't and she couldn't help but her resting her hand on her bulging belly.

Wait... She can't let this happen again. This time it's going to be worse, she'll have to give up the baby. They will live and she won't ever get to see them again.

Taking in a long breath she quickly put on her dress and fixed her already styled hair. She's not going to let this ruin her special day. She was out of her bathroom and room immediately gathering all her stuff like when you don't think you need a basket or a trolly at the store.

"You want me to help you?" Harry rushed to gather her jacket and her bag she uses everyday. "What have you got in here?"

"I am perfectly capable of taking my own stuff." She rolled her eyes and walked to kitchen to fix herself a sandwich real quick.

"We're going to get breakfast on the way love, don't worry about it. Now come on." Harry ushered her out.

......................................................................

Least to say, Harry was happy seeing YN all bubbly and happy today. She was giggling with her friends, and he didn't quite felt like an outsider. Especially with Julia and Kayla shooting daggers at him with their eyes.

"Hello, Dr. YN YLN, nice to finally meet you. I'm Harry Styles." Harry introduced himself formally.

"Likewise, Mr. Styles." YN shook his hand but ended up in fit of giggles and went in to hug him tightly. "Oh my god, I can't believe this!"

"I know." He wrapped his own arms around hers, "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you!" She squealed, "thanks for saying that!"

"Of course, darling." He pulled away to look at her beaming at him. He knew she was about to tell him something but someone called for photos. But at the end she came to him asking him to take her pictures on his iPhone.

Later he found out YN and her friends were skipping on partying lile crazy tonight, they had to go and start working their butts off for Kayla and Josh's wedding. YN being the maid of honour and Julia being the only brides maid, they both had many responsibilities.

Now Harry wanted to talk to about some things. He also wanted to ask her if she's feeling any better about this situation she's in. He could clearly see how much her father matters to her. And most importantly she still seemed mad at him this morning.

The party was getting intense and if he was being honest he missed going out to parties. Corporate parties loose all their glory after a certain period. But he was also enjoying seeing YN so happy, seeing how her friends were taking care of her despite being a bit tipsy at this point.

Well, the girls were drunk their arse off when he first found YN at one of his clubs with her friends, they wouldn't let go of her. He craved that kind of friendship!

But the place was becoming more crowded, though he didn't wanted to take YN away from the fun he kept an eye on her side. He saw YN carefully making her way towards him to where he was sat by the bar.

"Hey." He beamed at her. A glass of red wine in his hand which looks like it's untouched. That was his trick so no one asks to buy him a drink or try to flirt.

"Hey, can you please take me back to my place?" She asked, "I would stay but I'm very tired and I want to sleep."

"Let's go then, yeah?" He kept his glass on the counter and stood up buttoning his blazer, lead her to the back door.

"How do you know this way?" YN was confused.

"I just know." He shrugged. "You want to get anything before we drive to yours?"

"No, I'm good." She nodded.

Harry turned off music in his car as he saw her falling asleep there.

He had a nice day with her. But he was still not able to get out the feeling he has been feeling from yesterday. She haven't said a word about it to him, maybe she forgot?

He reached her flat way too quickly for his liking. He parked his car on the side of the road, contemplating if he should wake her up. She looks so peaceful whilst sleeping.

"Hey, YN?" He called for her softly which was enough to wake her up luckily, "we're here at your place."

"Oh, I'm sorry I fell asleep." She shook her head to wake herself up properly, "thank you for driving me back."

"Of course, darling." He smiled, "do you want me to help you with that?" But he still got out quickly and got her graduation gown, cap and her bag for her from the back seat. "Come on, I'll walk you upstairs."

"Sure." She shrugged.

Honestly, she was too tired to even walk herself up the stairs alone with that much stuff in her hands. She could use the help he was offering.

......................................................................

"YN, can I have a minute with you before I go? Please?" Harry requested as he set down YN's stuff in her room.

"Mhmm." She nodded and sat down on her bed to take off her shoes. She had swelling in her feet even this early in the pregnancy.

"I want to talk about yesterday." He crouched on the floor in front of her to help her taking off her shoes, "I didn't mean to make you upset YN, I promise. I, I, I guess I've been so bad with protecting people my relationships in my life. I, I don't, I don't want anything to happen to the little one, or you. I can't believe I'm saying this, but you've become a good friend of mine. And I know food can be a bit of a sensitive subject for some, I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway like that. I didn't mean to take the joke in a wrong way."

"Why would you say it like that?" She was confused. "I mean the relationships thing, or am I still not allowed to ask you questions?"

"Let's just say I'm too scared to let people in my life." He smiled sheepishly as he looked up at her through his lashes, "even though I manage to annoy you-- unintentionally!-- I'm sorry for that."

"It's just my hormones going all haywire. I'm very patient, I promise." She smiled at him, "and I get it now, so you don't have to apologise. In fact I am sorry, I overreacted yet again, and you have to put up with my shit."

"Yes, I have to apologise, but you don't." He said with a firm tone as he set her shoes aside. "Whilst I can't know what you're going through, the least I can do is try to understand. I just hope I'm good enough of the little one."

"You'll be an amazing dad to this kid, Harry, I'm sure of that." She assured him as if she can look into future and she sees him and this kid living the happiest life imaginable.

"I'm going to hang onto that." He nodded, he can have that hope with him.

He knows, he shouldn't be doubting himself now even though he's been ready for this for years. He isn't doubting about anything, but he's just nervous, that's all it is. He has everything he could, read every parenting book under the sun, talked his friends who are parents and even his own mother; who always told him that she can never be fully ready to be a parent. No matter how many books his reads or how many TedTalks videos he'd binged.

He's heard that some people don't feel that instant connection with their new born, he's afraid of all the what ifs? which comes along with it.

"Do you want to feel your baby, Harry?" She asked.

"You, you sure you'll, you'll be comfortable with it?" He was a little surprised to say the least.

"Yes, I am." She nodded.

Harry hesitantly placed his hand on her baby bump. He gasped, even though he couldn't feel the baby yet, he'd yearned for this moment for years. It hit him that the baby wasn't moving until he realised his thumb was rubbing circles on YN's stomach.

"Can, can you feel them move?" He panicked.

"Not yet, I read that babies start moving for about sixteen to eighteen weeks." She explained, "there's nothing to worry about."

"Okay." He sighed in relief, "I can't believe this." It was pretty evident he's happy that his eyes were tearing up quite a bit, tip of his nose turned a light shade of pink.

"Well it's happening." She tried not to laugh at his adorable reaction, "I'm so happy for you, Harry, and thank you for helping me."

"Don't have to mention that, darling," he gave her squinty eyed smile to keep his tears from escaping. "Thank you for letting me... you know, feel the baby bump."

"Your welcome." YN chuckled.

"Did that come out wrong?"

"No, you're very cute that's all." She shut her eyes for a moment as realisation set in.

"You think I'm cute?" He smirked cheekily.

"I meant to say annoying." She straightened her posture, failing to make the situation less awkward for herself.

"Hmmm, sure." Harry chuckled. Dimples denting deep in his cheeks as little crinkles become more prominent at the corners of his gorgeous eyes, his bunny teeth showing. He smiled truly from within in front of her. Maybe it was the first time. "You need me to get you anything before I leave?"

"Yeah, can you get me a bottle of water from kitchen, please?" She asked sheepishly.

"Sure." He stood up from his place on the floor.

He padded his way down to the kitchen and grabbed a reusable bottle of water for her from the fridge, it had her name on it, and many other reusable bottles with her and her friends' name on it. He closed the fridge door, just as he was about to leave he saw a picture of YN stuck on the door with a rose magnet. Along with three more pictures, but this one intrigued him more.

It was a picture taken with a disposable camera, a man who looked to be YN's dad. She looked to be about twelve to thirteen years old in her school uniform and her hair tied in two braids with red ribbons, a little six year old boy who looked exactly like her sat in her lap in his own school uniform, everyone smiling wide for the picture. Her dad was wearing the same jerkin she's got with her.

He wondered where her mum was.

He made his way back to her room after all, keeping his thoughts and questions to himself to not unintentionally make her upset with his curiosity. He placed the water bottle on the night stand.

"Oh my god!" He got scared when he felt something rubbing against his leg, it was a ginger cat. "You scared me." He scolded the cat as if she's going to give a fuck about what he says.

The feline jumped up on YN's bed and curled up into a ball, paws tucked under her chest as she fell fast asleep.

"You have a cat?" He asked once he saw YN come out of her bathroom in her PJs.

"Oh no she's not mine." YN smiled, "she's Noodle by the way, Kayla's fur baby. She likes to stay with me."

"I've never seen her." He was so fascinated by the cat.

"She's a senior cat, she's likes to stay in Kayla's room. Noodle is a smart cat, she knows when I'm getting ready I'll be heading out so she's in her mother's room." YN explained. "She probably came in here noticing that I'm here. I don't go anywhere much so we became good friends."

"I never knew I had a competition!" He chuckled.

"Unlike you, she doesn't piss me off. Especially when I'm all hormonal." She scoffed jokingly, rolling her eyes.2

"Did you just rolled your eyes at me?" He looked genuinely surprised and mildly offended.

And she did it again!

"Did you eat my chocolate cake or something, took you long enough to get a bottle of water?" She asked sitting down on her bed.

"There was a chocolate cake?" He acted as if he was going to go devour it in that moment.

"Don't you dare!" She warned him earning a few laughs.

"Your picture caught my eye. On the fridge." He shared.

"Mhmm." She nodded taking a sip from her water. He took a seat next to her when she said nothing else, being careful of the cat of course!

"Do you mind me asking what are you doing tomorrow?" He asked, hesitant and mildly scared.

"I have to teach a crowd of teenagers tomorrow, like everyday." She shrugged.

"No, I meant after." He corrected himself quickly, "I should have worded that right."

"After I'll be going out with Kayla for her wedding dress shopping, and after that... I have nothing to do, why?"

"Do you maybe want to come over to mine?" He tried to be subtle, "I, I, I'll have my god daughter over as her parents will be going out. She, uhhhh, she can be handful some times."

"You baby sit too?" She was intrigued, but she's also pulling his leg.

"I'm her god father so I have some responsibilities." He shrugged, "but I could use some help."

"Hmm, sure." She nodded.

"Okay, I'll ask Lizzie to make something for you too for dinner." He tried his best to hide his excitement there. "I think I should leave now."

"I'll walk you to the door." She offered.

"You don't have to, I'll see myself out."

"I have to feed the cat and lock the door. Those bastards aren't coming home tonight, I know that." YN explained as she followed him out, almost bumped into him when he stopped dead in his tracks.

"You'll be alone all night?" He turned around.

"I'll be fine."

"YN, I can't--" he sighed, "I don't want to leave you alone this time."

"I'll be fine. I promise." She assured him.

He didn't wanted to force her but he also didn't wanted to leave her alone. After what happened that night, he doesn't want to leave her alone. It is going to bug him all night now.

He bid his byes with her for the night, before he was headed back to his place.

It was nearly two in the morning and he couldn't sleep. Even after drinking two cups of sleep tea. He almost picked up his phone to call and check in on her but soon realised she must have falled asleep. He doesn't want to disturb her.

She'll call him if she needs anything. She did last time.

......................................................................

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[klausysworld]

heyy can you do a one-shot where reader is insecure about her thick thighs with a smut where Klaus shows her how much he loves them??

Why don’t you love yourself the way I love you?

I hated the way my thighs would stick together in the heat. When i wore shorts or a short dress and they rubbed against each other. When i sat down and they filled out my seat. When men would comment on them and use them as a reason to catcall or call me a slut.

So i grew to hate tight clothes too. And that was a difficult thing to hate when Rebekah was one of my best friends. She always had me in form-fitting dresses, accentuating my hips and therefore hugging my thighs. And the Mikaelsons were not shy people, always in extravagant places wearing unbelievable clothing and being the centre of attention. And attention they always got and with it i came too and so the amount of eyes on me was intimidating and haunting.

Sitting in Klaus’ and I’s room, I sat apprehensively in the skin tight dress that only came down to my mid thighs, chosen by Rebekah and Hayley. It was a deep red and i was assured by both of them it was the perfect date outfit. But even with the reassurance i felt self conscious and uncomfortable.

I ran my hands along my thighs roughly, trying to drag the skimpy material down and then lifting them off the bed slightly to make them a little thinner than when resting.

I heard Klaus approaching and lifted my head with a smile. His face lit up as he walked through the door, i stood to stand before him. He wore a all black suit, including black shirt and all. His arms moved to around my waist as he pulled me close and looked down to me with a hum

“You look heavenly, my love” he murmured before his lips pressed to mine in a short but sweet kiss. “Are you ready for dinner?” He questioned and i nodded slightly with a brightening smile.

Of course dinner was lovely and he was perfect the entire evening, everything was perfect.

But it was each time his hand rested on my thigh, the way i could feel the leather of the seat sticking to them as i let them press into it making them look even wider than usual. His hand squeezed one of them gently making me clench my jaw, i hated them so much.

“love? Are you okay?“ he asked, i looked up to see his concern shining back at me

“yeah, I'm fine, sorry i was distracted” i muttered looking around seeing he’d already put his jacket on and paid the bill

“Did i say something wrong?” He questioned softly as his hand cupped my face and wiped a tear I didn’t know was there away

“Oh, no no you didn’t do anything- it’s just me, did you say something important? I’m sorry, i don’t think i was listening” i told him, embarrassment crawling across me

“No it’s okay…come, we’ll just get home and we can speak more then” he said as he beckoned me to get up.

He drove us home with my hand in his, still on top my thigh but at least he wasn’t holding it, not than his hand could go far enough around.

Once we got home we went straight upstairs to our room, but instead of him having his lips on mine in a frenzy, like he normally does after wining and dining, he just sat us both down on the bed facing each other. His eyes studied me carefully making me swallow thickly and try pull the dress down further. His hand moved out to grab my wrist as i clutched the fabric of the skirt. He pushed my hand away before pushing the skirt of the dress up to see all of my thighs making the blood thicken in my cheeks

“What is it you are hiding from me?” He quizzed while running his hands over them gently, his face pulled into a frown. My eyes stuck to the wall behind him as he nudged them apart, fingers skimming all of the skin to feel for anything wrong, tears began to blur my vision as he rubbed them against me.

“Stop Klaus, just stop” i whispered

“Love, just tell me what’s wrong” he encouraged, shuffling forward and moving his hands to my face guiding me to look at him

“Y/n, my heart, what’s wrong? Is it the dress? We can burn it, I’ll get you a hundred more, come now we’ll get you out of it” his hands quickly pulled it off of me and through it away before pulling me to him and kissing my head “see? No more dress” he stated rubbing my arm “don’t cry love, it’s gone”

“It’s not the dress Klaus, it’s just me, I don’t like me!”

I watched as his face saddened, his arms tightening around me as kisses were repeatedly to the side of my face and i felt a few tears slip down.

“i wish you could see you the way i do, you're a goddess, you're more than perfect, flawless love, completely and utterly gorgeous in every possible way and i love you so incredibly much” he cooed, “so so much”

My eyes dropped shut as i let him brush his hands over every inch of my body. He began to gently massage my thighs, gently bringing them open to move between them

“Just lay back my love” he muttered and i did so without argument. He moved to hover above me, his face just above mine, lips kissing as much of my face and neck as possible while his hands continued to knead at my thighs.

He caressed the skin firmly but softly as his mouth found mine, sucking lightly as his tongue met mine. His hips slowly began to rock against me, the thin material of my panties allowing me to feel him better. A small whimper fell from my my mouth to his as he began to pull away.

We both looked down between us where our bodies rubbed against one another. And i tried desperately not to look at my thighs but it was hard not too when they were right there.

“They’re perfect” he murmured kissing my jaw “They’re too big” i whispered

He leaned back and frowned at me, he leant back onto his knees still between my legs and he looked down at them

“I could never get enough of you, love, i adore them they way they are. Nothing on you could ever be too big, it only gives more of you to love” he convinced as he began to lower himself, his head nearly disappearing between my thighs.

“Klaus you know i don’t like you to do that” i whispered. I never let him have his face there, i didn’t like how my thighs would push at his head, how close he was and how personal it felt

“Because of how it feels or because you’re afraid? You know i could never judge you like that” he hummed before kissing up my legs

“Klaus-“

“Just this once, please my love, just let me love you” he pleaded looking to me with his most innocent eyes that I couldn’t deny

“Just this once” I repeated and he nodded going back to kissing along the skin gently. I lead back and covered my face with my hands trying not to focus on knowing he’s touching and ‘appreciating’ the parts i hate most.

The feather like kisses became open mouthed which became him sucking softly at the flesh, marks surely forming as his teeth nipped lightly.

“I love you” i heard him breath as he moved higher up. His lips pressed against my panties making me inhale deeply and squeeze my eyes shut.

“Can I do this for you, my love? I won’t do anything you don’t enjoy, i promise you sweetheart”

“okay“ i muttered

“look at me, love“ he murmured, i sat up slightly, pushing myself forward with my forearms and looking foward seeing him kneeling back up. My eyes flicked to the little display of his love marks littered across my thighs where his hands still rubbed soothingly. I looked back to his concern filled eyes, his head tilting slightly at me as his head nodded slowly making me frown.

He leant forward, hand cupping my cheek as he kissed my lips softly, i could hear some shuffling but i kept my eyes closed even after he pulled away. His hands glided up and down my thighs before pulling my underwear away. I felt his fingers gently move to feel my heat, sliding through the wetness he had caused a few times, his finger pushed into my entrance before coming back out.

“It’s alright love” he whispered, i felt something much larger than his fingers rest against me, my eyes opened reluctantly to glance at him. He was already looking down at me, above me, a long kiss was pressed to my forehead as i felt the head of his member beginning to push inside me

“But i thought-“

“Not today, love, i can show you my love in many ways” he reminded, his hips slowly rolling to meet mine and burying himself inside me. I gasped as he filled me to the brim, my hands moving to hold onto his biceps.

“Put your legs around me, love” he murmured between kisses that were spread across my cheeks. Hesitantly i wrapped them around his waist. “Good girl, no more hiding, just relax sweetheart”

My eyes remained closed allowing him to flood my senses. A hand had found its way to my throat, squeezing gently as his body rocked at an agonisingly slow pace. His dick skilfully caressed my walls, rubbing against me deliciously as i clung to him tightly. Whimpers escaped me while he kissed my ear lightly, his teeth pulling at my lobe. I inhaled sharply appreciating his aftershave that engulfed us both. He still had his shirt and tie on whilst i lay bare beneath him.

“I don’t deserve you, you’re too lovely for me” he whispered against my neck sending shivers down my spine enticing a moan from my lips while he gradually slid within me a little faster. His thumb pressed against my throat making me whimper softly to him, my back arching as i squeezed his arms. I felt him lifting my leg up from his waist, it moved up between us and over his shoulder. I gasped as he managed to reach a deep as possible inside me, heat pooling within my lower abdomen at the sensation.

“See? Look how perfect they are” he whispered, he bent down to press kisses into the bottom of my thigh nearer my knee while still slowly thrusting into me.

“Klaus, more” i whined as he made his way down my leg and his hips kept up their agonisingly slow pace

“Soon love, let me take my time” he murmured

“Please” i whimpered and he smiled down at me. His lips pecked mine as he moved a little faster, my walls giving an encouraging squeeze as my nails sunk into his arms through his shirt. My other leg hiked further up him to pull him closer, pushing her deeper inside me just brushing over that spot that had me moaning out for him and letting my eyes drop shut once again.

His hands were on the backs of my thighs lightly squeezing them in time with his thrusts that gradually got a little quicker.

“You forget that your thighs are one of my favourite parts of you“ he muttered, i just whined and moaned in response as he continued to rub at my spot gently “I just know that once you let me bury my face between them you’ll never want me to stop. And you mustn’t worry about their size love, i love them, i hope that one day they wrap around my head so tight i nearly suffocate, i want them to muffle my moans as i taste you, and i want you to love it too, love them”

His thrusts picked up some pace with each however many words he said.

“I want you to run your hands down them, tease yourself love, just gently let your nails skim over them. Squeeze them, bring your hands higher and higher” he breathed, his words going straight down the back of my neck as his chest pushed against the underside of my thigh that remained over his shoulder.

Despite the steady pace he kept up, his thrusts were still powerful and had the bed moving back and forth in time. My breasts bouncing gently as i moaned his name quietly, my hands moved round to cling to the back of his shirt.

“Why don’t you love yourself the way I love you?” He asked softly, his tip continuously brushing over my spot making it difficult to focus of his words

“Please love, tell me how you could ever view yourself less than what you truly are?”

My eyes fluttered open to see his sad but curious eyes above me, his nose nearly touching mine as i gasped, his hips moving a little harder

“Klaus-“

“Do you know how beautiful you are, my love?” He cut me off, his words were a blur as my mind grew hazy, the heat inside me was beginning to set ablaze

“Do you sweetheart?” He uttered, his lips brushing mine. I felt something move down to draw little circles on the hood of my clit enticing a gasp from me as i hesitantly nodded

“No you don’t, you don’t because if you did you would never shed so many tears over your body. You should know by now that i will do whatever i can so that you know just how much you are worth”

“What am i worth?” I wondered quietly locking eyes with his, tears stirring in mine from the emotion pain on top of the physical pleasure that was overflowing through my body

“Everything, you are worth absolutely everything” he whispered “you are my heaven”

Tears slipped down my face as i hid it within his neck, choking on my own breaths as he rocked inside me

“Will you cum for me sweetheart? Will you let me fill you with my love so that i can hold you?” He questioned and i nodded against his jaw.

“Good girl, just breath” he whispered. His fingers rolled over my ball of nerves with a slightly heavier pressure as his pace sped up, the fire spreading through me quickly while i breathed him in.

“I love you” he repeated several times while i uttered his name, clutching his shirt in my hands as i let the heat boil throughout me, my body tightening enough to trigger his own release.

He carefully helped bring my leg down from his shoulder as he gently pulled out of me. He immediately wrapped me in his arms as he held me close

“You’re so perfect, so beautiful” he muttered between kisses to the side of my head “And i will remind you as much i can so that you believe it too”