#he is so dad/uncle coded dude

[nerdyagere]

Everyone out here talking about their fictional CGs, characters people actually recognize and care about and I show up with this thing

[leclercwriting]

little verstappen | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x wife!reader basically max being girl dad coded

masterlist

y/n.verstappen

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 741.698 others

caption: daddy's lucky charm

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landonorris: where is my lucky charm when i need it?

y/n.verstappen: sorry shes only supporting max maxverstappen1: stop stealing my daughter lando

user4: Omgg i love girl dad max

danielricciardo: P is so cute

maxverstappen1: thanks but if you saw her when she has to go shower u wouldn't write this y/n.verstappen: that's true...

user5: she's mini version of max

y/n.verstappen: i knoow. she's his little copy. AFTER I WAS CARYING HER FOR ALMOST A YEAR!!!! victoriaverstappen: verstappen genes are strong. People still think that my kids are max's kids....

maxverstappen1

liked by y/n.verstappen, danielricciardo and 748.614 others

caption: who's gonna tell daniel that he's babysitting P in 2 days?

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danielricciardo: I'M WHAT?! EMILIAN

y/n.verstappen: oopps. sorry but you're uncle danny and uncle danny is called for the babysitting duties maxverstappen1: we're gonna pay you don't worry danielricciardo: I DON'T NEED MONEY. I'M NOT GONNA BABYSIT THAT MINI MAX landonorris: stop screaming dude maxverstappen1: uh lando we need you to babysit P on wednesday.. landonorris: BRO

user5: the comments lol

user8: poor danny boy

user67: i love this family

danielricciardo

liked by y/nverstappen, maxverstappen and 847,557 others

caption: the best uncle reward goes to me because i was forced to babysit this little devil

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maxverstappen1: thanks for your service

landonorris: now im next...

user55: someone save lando user25: SOMEONE SAVE PENELOPE. LANDO IS THE CHILD

user6: danny is really the best uncle

maxverstappen1: he is

landonorris

liked by y/n.verstappen, maxverstappen1 and 854.585 others

caption: future mclaren driver

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maxverstappen1: GET HER AWAY FROM THE MCLAREN CAR

landonorris: naaah, she likes orange cars y/n.verstappen: max is having heart attack next to me

user7: not lando making max's daughter a mclaren fan

danielricciardo: she's not mclaren fan.. boooooo

landonorris: shut up muppet

mclaren: new mclaren reserve driver

user45: lool poor max

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, redbullracing and 742,563 others

caption: enjoyed our time alone until lando tried to turn my baby into mclaren fan

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landonorris: she was born a mclaren fan. orange suits her

maxverstappen1: yeah orange suits her. but the dutch one

user7: this is still too funny

user122: why is no one talking about them?? i need to have husband like max

y/n.verstappen: u need great wife like me maxverstappen1: everybody needs their y/n

redbullracing: P has a place in our team already

y/n.verstappen

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 984,526 others

caption: and now the best part. summer break with the verstappens

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user7: yall are too cute

y/n.verstappen: tysm

user85: I LOVE THEM. P IS SO BIG

maverstappen1: our baby is growing up so fast

landonorris: family goals

danielricciardo: you cant even take care of a goldfish u muppet

[fandomloreblog]

⚔️ DARKCOM Elite Ops Headcanons ⚔️

CAPCOM refused to feed us, so I’m doing it myself and giving the 4 unnamed DARKCOM members lore and backstory. God works fast, but a possibly autistic trans dude works faster. Please reblog or comment your own additions, or tag me in fics/works y’all make so I can see what everyone else thinks!

Warnings: Mentions of dead/shitty family members.

Sentry: Annette Rhodes Jr.

Annette is 27 but was actually the first of the group to join DARKCOM. She joined as an IT specialist after college, but a demon broke out of holding, which allowed her superiors to see her field capabilities. She was then scouted out as an Intelligence Officer for various units before being promoted to Elite Ops.

The only girl of 5 children, so she got spoiled and protected a lot by both her parents and brothers. However, brothers are of course, brothers, and taunted and bullied each other, so she has some tough skin.

Her name is from her Mom, Annette Rhodes Sr. It’s a family tradition for them that the firstborn daughters are named Annette.

The fastest out of the main group, despite mostly being a recon, R&D and intelligence.

Since she’s indoors and stuck researching most of the time, she’s become addicted to reality tv and cheesy drama shows. She can recite basically an episode from the week’s roster of shows from memory.

Extremely good and protective over the team’s weaponry and vehicles. What work time she spends not in research or operations, she’s busy developing new weapons and vehicles. She can (and will) have a lecture prepared whenever someone (usually King) breaks them.

Got her code name “Sentry” for staring at a singular demon they had in interrogation for 7 hours straight. She wanted to see if it could shape shift (it could. She stopped when it did).

Patriot: Boston Peyton-Ross

Boston is 34, the oldest of the Elite Ops gang, he joined DARKCOM 3-ish months after Annette. He enlisted as a ground soldier after his wife was kidnapped by a cult and murdered, all for summoning demons. His skills and determination had him promoted to Elite Ops first, however.

Grew up with a working mom and a SAHD. He has two younger sisters and a few nieces and nephews. Came from a standard White Pickett Fence neighborhood where the kids played outdoors and had weekly barbecues.

Was actually the nerd in school. Earned salutatorian and a US Army Scholarship to Harvard, where he got a degree in History.

He was actually former Army (joined at 18 to pay for his college), where he served multiple tours before retiring in his 20’s to become a teacher in the suburbs. Enlisted in DARKCOM after his wife died.

Reluctant dad figure. Singlehandedly kept most of the group from eating each other when angry (mostly Mary and King).

History nerd (He taught 7th Grade History for a bit). Knows basically everything that happened to the US since its founding. Can and will nerd out about the founding fathers and explain which of them should’ve gotten a musical as well.

He once went on a 30-minute rant about the War of 1812 and how dumb it was. That was how he got the nickname “Patriot”.

Served as a tactician and breacher, basically the “kick down doors” guy who also plans how to kick down said doors.

Despite everything, he’s extremely mild-mannered and chill. Lots of dad energy, ironically.

King: Javier “JJ” Ramirez

JJ’s 24, the youngest of the DARKCOM group, both in age and years served. He enlisted in DARKCOM as a way to get out of jail earlier.

Javier got the nickname JJ due to his full name- Javier Joaqín Ramirez. He shortened his name into JJ as a kid because he liked it better, and nowadays only gets called Javier by his closest friends.

He was raised by his uncle after his parents were arrested, getting into trouble and shoplifting. Ended up getting kicked out at 15 onto the streets until he got arrested and enlisted into DARKCOM in exchange for getting his record cleared with no jail time. Doesn’t have any siblings.

Dyed his hair blonde after his “mentor” figure, an older orphan and fellow pickpocket by the name of Gregory. He was inadvertently shot and killed during a robbery by cops, which is why JJ kept dying his hair after enlisting. A tribute to the one guy who looked out for him.

Serves as a sort of all-rounder for Elite Ops, fighting, recon, interrogation, etc. If you need an extra set of hands, he’s there and raring to go.

Basically knows a guy for everything, and at this point, no one questions how, why, or even if it is legal. He ends up helping Sentry to find a lot of contacts when it comes to finding demons.

Got the nickname King for eating Annette’s King chess pieces when playing against her. She assumed she lost it and forfeited it until he confessed. He is still proud of that, despite everything.

Fell first and fell HARD for Ninja at first sight. Extremely cuddle and touchy when it comes to her.

Ninja: Judith Lawes

Judith’s 26, and joined DARKCOM the same time as Patriot did. She enlisted in Covert Operations, doing stealth missions and less than legal situations before being promoted to Elite Ops.

Grew up with a single mom and a twin brother. Her brother went off to college and got rich, while she stayed behind to take care of their mom. DARKCOM enlisted her in exchange for paying her mom’s medical treatment and care. Doesn’t keep in contact with her brother.

Serves as the main stealth operator, along with a back-up tank. Prides herself in ambush and assassination techniques. Usually what she does is “classified”, courtesy of Baines.

Extreme night owl. Unless required by missions, she’s in her room, curled up with her plushies and snoozing during the day. She’s usually up at night, getting food, working, or just existing.

Extreme video game nerd. Animal Crossing and Pokemon are her favorites, mostly due to the cute creatures which she then gets plushies of.

Fell for King later, and got way too attached. He started gifting her plushies, and it was over from there. She works under the “if anything happened to Javier, I would kill everyone in this room” mentality.

Ninja’s nickname was earned after she singlehandedly jump scared everyone at night at least once. Mary almost sucker punched her, Annette and JJ both screamed like girls, and Patriot just flinched. She was called a Ninja afterwards.

[landograndprix]

Everyone saying lando should be a girl dad but let’s be real I think lando would be the perfect boy dad.IMAGINE a mini him with curls and his green eyes! Wearing fits like him 😩. I think our Zoé deserves a tiny brother

Man, lando is so boy dad coded to me, like don't get me wrong he's amazing with zoë but boy dad lando just hits different, like a mini him? Them having little serious boy talks, "dude, your mums kinda hot, you mind if I shoot my shot, no? Cool man, thanks, wish me luck.", boys vs girls in the house 24/7, lando and his mini me playing video games together when they're old enough. Lando and uncle Max guiding his mini lando around the karting track? Lando dressing his son in a hoodie, joggers and sneakers? This man will start a whole ass quadrant mini's collection just for his kiddos. The collection of hats and beanies? Insane. Not to say you can't do that with a daughter but boy dad lando makes so much sense in my head and I'm in love with him actually.

[death-takes-a-toll]

YOU

SHARE ME YOUR SPRUNKI AGERE HEADCANONS /nf

Sorry if this is a bit late I didn't see it until like 11 am last night ^ ^;;

Do keep in mind I'm an age dreamer n not a regressor so I'm not sure how accurate these will be buuut here we go!!

• Almost every Sprunki has some sort of childhood trauma. So most of them regress to cope with it. I mean 'sprunki' is Lithuanian for 'run away' after all,,

• The primary cgs r Mr. Sun, Mr. Tree, Clukr, Garnold, Tunner & Vineria. Everyone else is either a regressor or flip (with the exception of Black, who is neutral)

• So like no one rly bats an eye at it. Oh Simon is regressed? Well here's your alien plushie and a juice box buddy. Oren is regressed too? You guys wanna have a playdate?

• Prob gonna go the route I've seen in Inanimate Insanity fics where they realize how many regressors there are and make them a daycare/nursery type building to spend time in while regressed

• Perma-regressor Mr. Fun Computer. Need I say more

• Most of my agere hcs r based around Durple cuz uh. I am a bit biased and also a HUGE kinnie. So infodump abt him here:

• Durple is a flip w/ a regressor lean!! He's primarily a trauma/vent regressor, so most of the time his regression starts off negative :< Usually triggered by stress or bad memories

• Tho he has regressed out of happiness before!! Like one time him and Raddy were looking for a birthday gift for Sky and he saw this HUUUUGE dino plushie and just drops immediately & runs to Raddy like "Can I get that please please please please-"

• Like I mentioned in my request his little age is around 4-7 and he rly likes dinosaurs :3 Shelly Fossilian coded /hj

• (Tho post horror he starts regressing much younger [like 2-3] due to the added trauma of being possessed and watching his friends die-)

• He has a t-rex stuffie that he had since he was 4 named Rexxy!! He always has Rexxy with him when he's small n will freak out if he loses him!! He also talks to Rexxy like he's real sometimes

• He loooves The Land Before Time, Dinosaur Train, Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs, Dino Babies, etc etc. He also loves music based shows like Happy Monster Band, The Doodlebops, Jack's Big Music Show and Imagination Movers

• Low energy, usually spends most of the time just chilling out at home, coloring, watching cartoons or napping. Oh and playing trumpet obviously. Sometimes Simon and Oren come over when they're regressed and they hang out

• Simon rly likes space n stuff and one time he mentioned a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs (not trying to be mean, just rambling) and Durple cried his eyes out for like an hour

• Usually falls asleep pretty easy but if he has a nightmare he'll refuse to fall back asleep until his current CG promises him it won't happen again and/or stays in his room with him,,,

• Raddy is his primary CG since they live together & Raddy sees Durple as his little brother (Durple usually calls him by name, Roro or big bro :3)

• Despite being temperamental Raddy is much more calm and soft spoken around little Durple!! Dats his little bro he doesn't wanna upset him!! He knows Durple is startled by shouting/loud noises (PTSD trigger) so he tries his best to lower his voice

• His other cgs r Tunner (who he calls Tun Tun or pop-pop, and is kinda like an uncle figure) and Gray (who r dating in my universe, BassTrumpet ftw [THEIR RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T ENTER HIS REGRESSION THO] and he usually calls him by name or papa)

• Owns So Much Chewelry. Dude is almost always chewing on something (can't rly use pacis cuz his teeth r so sharp it cuts through them. Sad :<)

• Extremely Touch Starved. Obviously he's touch starved in his adult headspace too but little Durple will pull you in for a bear hug out of nowhere just for some sort of physical contact (Bro's dad didn't hold him as a child. Not joking. Screw Durple's dad we hate Durple's dad)

• Oh ya and he is a big fan of Halloween. He usually goes as a vampire or t-rex :>

• As a CG he kinda follows in Raddy's footsteps and acts like an older brother, tho he's way more chill and easygoing. He's more lenient with rules but still reminds his littles that they're there for a reason

• Plays music for his littles yaaa. Also shows them stuff from his collection (although they're not allowed to touch cuz most of it is pretty valuable)

• Also will let his little go flying with him by letting them sit on his back!! Unless they're scared of heights he won't do that.

Uhh idk how to end this so here's an old image I drew that I decided to color for this occasion :3

[ryin-silverfish]

Lotus Lantern: The Summaries, Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Xinke Baolian Deng Jiumu Quanzhuan(or, "Lotus Lantern 1.0") 

-This one follows the same story beat as the previous two, so I'll just list the differences + expansions.

-After the Third Lady of Mt. Hua saw Liu Junchun's poem, she went to what was presumably the local dragon king to borrow some shrimp and crab soldiers and chase the cheeky bastard down.

-Qiu'er still took the fall, but unlike in the Epic of Prince Chenxiang, here, his mom didn't even object to it. Chenxiang's dad also got in trouble for his crime, and had to be rescued later.

-Chenxiang's master was the Thunderclap Immortal, who taught him 72 axe moves and 73 transformations. No divine power-ups were involved.

-After learning all these cool skills, Chenxiang immediately went to save his dad, Qiu'er, and Qiu'er's mom, whisking them off to the safety of a temple.

-Erlang actually lost the shapeshifter duel, and had to go to FFM to ask Sun Wukong for help. The plan Wukong came up with? 

1. Transform into fake Chenxiang

2. Pretend to rescue the Third Lady

3. Stuff her into a stone chest

4. Throw the chest into a well

5. Lure Chenxiang into the well

6. Cover the well with a stone slab, then set it on fire

-Yeesh. 

-So the rematch became Chenxiang vs. Erlang + Wukong instead, and because this version's Chenxiang was OP as hell, Wukong was forced to flee back to his cave, while Erlang got tied up by a red sash that, despite the uncanny resemblance, wasn't Nezha's signature weapon.

-Chenxiang was ready to axe his uncle after freeing his mom, but the Thunderclap Immortal persuaded him to spare Erlang.

Xinbian Baolian Deng Huashan Jiumu Quanzhuan (Or, “Lotus Lantern 2.0”) 

-This version is probably the closest to modern Lotus Lantern adaptations. First, Erlang's own mom-saving story is canon in this universe, and the story kinda started with a summarized version of the Precious Scroll of Erlang.  

-After Liu Xi proclaimed his crush on the Third Mother, her attendants were pissed off on her behalf, and summoned a giant serpent to scare the mortal to death. On her way back, the Third Mother came across the half-dead scholar, and saved him with some magical elixirs.

-Thus began the start of her own crush on Liu Xi. After returning to her temple, she was quite mad at the attendant who summoned the demonic serpent, and was ready to execute him for his transgressions, before she was interrupted by the Old Man Under the Moon and Gold Star of Venus with a message that Your Relationship Is Divinely Ordained, and maybe spare the guy too.

-It wasn't the Peach Festival she couldn't go to because of her pregnancy, but Erlang's birthday. Sun Wukong arrived fashionably late to the party, and suggested a self-penalty of three cups of wine.

-Erlang was like "Dude, how can you still be late with your cloud somersaults? Three cups' too easy on you, how about a whole jar!"

-He'd deeply regret those words in about five minutes, for SWK got instantly drunk and started rolling around the bed, asking "Hey, y'all have some fine Birthday Wines, can I get more at the wedding tomorrow?"

"...Whose wedding?"

"Your sister's, of course!"

-Annnnd the cat's out of the bag. Erlang stormed out of Guankou and headed straight for his sister, who fled towards the Celestial Realm, hoping to seek shelter from their divine parents.

-When Erlang caught up to her, she used the titular Lotus Lantern to shield herself from the blows; however, it could not protect her against the Immortal-binding Rope, and soon, she was captured.

-Interestingly, the Third Mother did tell him the marriage was divinely ordained, to which he responded with "If it wasn't, you'd be dead, and even so, the Yang family code would not permit it!"

-Thus the Lotus Lantern was taken, and the Third Mother, thrown into a cave under the mountain and watched by the local Tudi god.

-Said Tudi god was not unreasonable, tho, and agreed to take baby Chenxiang to his dad. Soon, the kid grew old enough to attend the local school, where his schoolmates bullied him for not having a mom, with some even calling him a demon's child. 

-Tearfully, Chenxiang demanded an answer from his dad, and when his dad finally yielded and told him the truth, he decided to sneak away to find his imprisoned mom.

-The same Tudi led the kid to her after he cried long enough under Mt. Hua; mother and son had a heart wrenching conversation through the rock gaps, until they were interrupted by someone's arrival.

-That someone was not Erlang, as they feared, but the Thunderclap Immortal, taking a leisurely stroll in the mountains. He took Chenxiang in as a disciple, and told him a way to free his mom: the same magical axe Erlang used to cleave open their grandma's mountain prison way back when, now stored in the Guankou temple.

-Then Chenxiang just...walked up to the temple gate while Erlang was out hunting, and asked one of the Seven Sages of Plum Mountain if he could borrow the axe.

-Funnily enough, the Sage in question was Yuan Hong, yes, the exact same as that white ape demon Yang Jian killed in FSYY, and he was like "Nope".

-So Chenxiang decided to take the sneaky route, transforming himself into four immortal maidens delivering peaches and wine into the temple, got Yuan Hong drunk, then turned into a butterfly and entered the inner sanctum. Just as he was fumbling with the locks, Erlang returned from his hunting trip, forcing him to flee.

-After questioning Yuan Hong, he decided to err on the side of caution and add eight more celestial soldiers to guard the temple. Chenxiang bypassed that security measure by turning into a little insect and crawling inside, but the axe was nowhere to be found.

-Suddenly, a flash of red light flew into the room and led him to a single chest, where the axe was stored. However, there was a new problem; the door was still locked, and Chenxiang couldn't take it outside, so he came up with another plan; transform into a rat and lure the guards into opening the door for some pest extermination.

-The guards inform Erlang, who saw right through it. He told them to keep the door shut, then transformed into a cat and entered the room, forcing Chenxiang to flee again.

-So Chenxiang was pretty disheartened, until he thought of a third idea: transform into his own divine grandparents, Yang Tianyou and Princess Cloud-Terrace, and call Erlang out on his bullshit.

-That filial piety card worked wonderfully. Erlang had no choice but to take out the axe and free his sister, at which point Chenxiang transformed back into himself and battled with his uncle.

-As the Third Mother watched anxiously from the side, who should show up but the Gold Star of Venus, delivering Jade Emperor's divine cease-fire order?

-Happy ending, yay. Sidenote, Erlang actually sighed after seeing the order, acknowledged Chenxiang as a formidable member of the younger generation, and picked him up and called him a good kid/baby ("乖乖!" "宝宝!" 叫个欢).

[louisthiccsexyglitteryass]

ROCKSTAR CAN I GET A BREAKDOWN OF YOUR OCS??

OKAY HERE WE GO

This is kinda stupid ngl but fuck it we ball!!!

Answer under the cut;

Basic info:

They all belong to a group of assassins

It's a "book" i'm writing technically

Most of said book is currently in my brain

Set in London

Toxic yaoi!!!!!

I'm only *fully* covering the main 4/5 rn cause I haven't fleshed everyone else out yet:

Bunny. He/They (Trans NB FtM). Queer. From the North of England. His name isn't actually Bunny but you'll see why it's funny in a minute. His father was a mafia boss and was killed in front of Bunny when he was 16. Bunny responded by murdering the culprit. Had a weird childhood that he won't really talk about. Bunny is the leader of the organisation, 30 years old. He's very immoral/morally grey and literally does not care about doing crime. Thrives on gender fuckery. He's a lil twink but very dangerous, unstable and shit. Uses Bunny as a "code name" (refuses to tell anyone his real name). His name is ironic because he's nothing like a cute lil bunny yk. Very flirty/slutty but doesn't commit (supposedly). Bit of a loose canon and refuses to see fault in his own actions. Quick to anger and react violently. Has a lot of enemies. Ends up dating Archer. The only person who can treat him badly is Levi, who is a bastard, and basically manipulates Bunny. (more on him later). Bunny ends up finally getting away from Levi and has a lil thing with Archer, then gets back into contact with Levi and leaves Archer. Shit happens, then finally is endgame with Archer. Nerves of steel.

Archer. He/Him (cis male). Bisexual/Pansexual but won't admit it until later. From London. Archer is 22 and the story is in his POV. He was raised by his aunt and uncle because his mother died and his dad fucked off somewhere. College drop out who was recruited after doing errands. Has this moral compass that slowly deteriorates. Crushes slightly on Isobel then realises he likes Bunny, above arc happens, and then he leaves the organisation temporarily. He finally returns after saving the life of someone important to him and he finds out something. Basically, his father was the founder of the organisation. The code word for a legacy member is "viper" and he gets confused as to why people use it. He discovers all this after saving his Dad's life and returns to the organisation. Archer is a regular dude who doesn't really want to kill. Total himbo, definitely stupid, and fiercely loyal to a fault. Tendency to bail when things get tough. Jumpy.

Isobel. They/She/It (demigirl). Lesbian. From Wales (Nigerian descent and very proud of it). She is a typical femme/girly girl (but still demi) who can and will break your spine. Nice, kind-hearted, but will not hesitate to throw hands. They had a normal childhood and got recruited by Bunny when they met in a bar. They're 25 and have a secret girlfriend. She's a motherly figure at times and serves as a moral compass and guide to Archer, but underneath it all has a lot going on and can be a bit of a people pleaser. They felt really bad when Archer had a crush on them, and let him down gently. Trans guy / lesbian iconic duo with Bunny, but constantly absolutely done with his shit. Background character so maybe not as fleshed out?

Leviathan. He/Him (cis male). Pansexual. From Newcastle-upon-tyne. Levi is a manipulator. He is 34 and has a weird relationship with Bunny. He doesn't care about Bunny and regularly cheated on him when they dated, but also doesn't let Bunny speak to anyone else. Randomly dumped Bunny but now hooks-up with him randomly. Only called "Levi" by Bunny, who doesn't see the problem with his cold, manipulative personality. Basically tries to isolate Bunny and control him. Hates Archer, Isobel and everyone else. ASSHOLE. Ruins everything.

Honourable mentions:

Paul: 50, He/Him, Straight, London. Works with them all and is absolutely done with them all. Very stoic.

Johnno: (stats unknown currently). Recruited Archer, works for the middlemen part of the organisation.

Jasmine: (stats unknown currently). Has an on/off fwb thing with Bunny, totally crushing on Isobel. Might have a toxic turned healthy yuri arc with Isobel if I can work it in.

Mattheo: Italian man who doesn't speak Italian. STRESSED gay guy. Chaos gremlin. Absolute hottie.

Darius: Big buff dude who's friends with Bunny and scares Archer for fun.

Bunny's Personal Bodyguards: No actual names, just known by Archer as "Hair" (he has hair), "Earring" (has an earring), and "Baldy" (bald).

[staenless]

I feel like the "Senshi is the mom of the group" is kinda a mischaracterisation I MY OPINION. You do not have to agree with me <3. Firstly Senshi isn't that old for a dwarf and we know that in terms of maturity chilchuck is the oldest member, he's also the most mom of the group. He tries to keep them out of trouble, tries to keep their relationships pretty professional so the party does fall to infighting, he scolds them when they're idiots and looks after the others when they need it. Very parent coded. Senshi is just a weirdo uncle. Like that's your uncle from your mom's side that your dad doesn't quite trust cause he's crashed his car a few too many times and he keeps bringing up cooking and eating dungeon monsters and it really ruins the mood of the family gathering. Senshi refers to the others as youngins cause by years he is the oldest however this isn't a natural parenting instinct it's the "oh shit I'm babysitting my sisters kids fuck dude". It just so happens one of those kids has the same special interest as him and he can bond with them.

[smokeygrayrabbits]

losing my shit over one piece nepotism au right now. so many of the straw hats have badass backstorys that they just,,, never bring up. I want them being a little rebellious rich kid crew out to spite their parents.

Luffy growing up knowing about his family and with a network of extremely powerful family members, setting off to reach his dream but not being afraid to use every resource available to him to make that happen.

zoro who was raised by mihawk setting off on a quest to escape his dad and sisters fashion sense and become the greatest swordsman, not because he's mihawks son but just because he wants to.

zoro and Luffy meeting as kids through shanks and mihawk and being immediate besties.

Sanji staying with the vinsmokes just a little longer to get some more training and fame, then being raised by an infamous pirate, who's now retired.

ussop having his dad around a little more growing up to look after him and teach him, getting to know all his uncle's in the red haired pirates. meeting Luffy and Zoro as kids and also being besties.

arlong having a little more power and influence, giving nami more access to fishman island and goods/info/techniques from the new world. nami learning marine codes and strategies from bellemere growing up, and meeting Luffy one day when she was out sailing.

brook being from the infamous rumbar pirates, the originals. the blueprint of modern piracy. the world renowned soul king.

jimbes already a bad bitch, but maybe he knew nami when she was working for arlong.

robin was already notorious among the criminal underworld in the blues, just play that up a little. maybe she worked with shaky a little, or found some information about the son of dragon, but when she went to grab him for his bounty, she found her reason for living.

Franky working as a shipwright more and being famous in his field.

and chopper is chopper. the legend himself.

anyway just,,,, them running around being absolute menaces like they already do, but with that added element of

dude what are you doing dont you know who that is?'

yeah bro that's the crazy guy who just kicked our butts

no bro those are the pirate Kardashians

of course, the straw hats don't need no man or no daddy's money to be bad bitches, but I just think it's funny

[saffronscales]

here is summarised version:

starts with Squirrelkit and Ashfur. pretty cool guys they are good friends. ashfur is squirrelkit’s uncle (in canon also that’s why I made this au) and they have a strong bond. Squirrelkit notices sometimes that in the night…… asjfur goes out?????? and comes back with smelly water fish man smell. one day there is a huge argument in the clearing between bramble and ash over this, and that night.. ashfur is DEAD. like actually dead. hit his head on a rock by accident, drowned in a river!!!! Squirrelkit is devastated

when she becomes an apprentice ashfur appears in her dreams!!! dark forest training montage. also they’re still best buds. Squirrelpaw gets emo green hair and goes to the warrior cat ball with brambleclaw. brambleclaw is the new incel.

Squirrelpaw evolves into squirrelflight. brambleclaw’s deputy, and hawkfrost is now dead. two silly gay people are now in the dark forest together. (ashfur and hawkfrost.) when leafpool is pregnant ashfur appears to speak with her this is how it goes:

ashfur: hey niece 2.0 heard you hooked up with some guy.

leafpool: uncle ashfur why is the first time you talk to me outside of you living about me hooking up with crowfeather

ashfur: calm down bro.  and dw I gotchu I was in that same situation

leafpool: what

ashfur: what

leafpool: so what am I supposed to do

ashfur: idk should’ve thought about that before being straight

anyway the three are born, grow up and then the fire scene rolls around. brambleclaw is the evil guy. squirrelflight tells brambleclaw the truth about her not actually having the kits. hollyleaf ATTEMPTS to kill brambleclaw but fails because like his dad he’s just one solid chunk of fluffy muscle. so she runs into the tunnels out of 1. embarrassment and because she was fed up with facing reality

oots goes by and hawkfrost don’t die!,, yippe!!!(?)

pretty big timeskip but in the broken code, shadowsight is a full on clone of ashfur. like got the weird scribble eye (in actuality it’s a birth defect) and the exact markings. but like the same colour palette as ferncloud (a bit darker than ashfur). unfortunately hawkfrost is actually an asshole. hawkfrost manipulâtes ashfur into convincing shadowsight to take bramblestar’s life. silly clones. then it all happens and ashfur just kinda. possesses bramblestar. yea. ashfur is set on just being cool with squirrelflight (and literally everyone) but the clans don’t like the fact that a ghost stole thunderclan’s leader’s body. so they riot against him and ashfur’s like well crap. so he goes back to the dark forest but whoops he kinda made a hole between the dark forest and the starclan. oh no now people are out to kill ashfur. 

in the final “fight” (more of a violent confrontation) greystripe doesnt die and shadowsight kinda just.. falls into a bit of dark river. ashfur notices and saves him but bristlefrost think he’s trying to drown him. shadowsight is kinda chucked into the center of the battlefield while bristlefrost and ashfur fight it out. hawkfrost saves ashfur, and stops him from saving bristlefrost. ashfur pushes past hawkfrost and saves her anyway. they argue. ashfur literally attempts to murder his husband. but he loses a lot of his power. they kinda break up (not really they get back together unfortunately). everything goes pretty much back to normal. that’s all I’ve done so far. I am thinking of ashfur being like.. frostpaw’s guide to ghosts. yk

ROCK ON DUDE!!!!! your au is sick. here’s a few doodles because I thought it was funny

[maxime-damian]

there are so many characters in my town. people whose real names i don’t even know. we call them nouns and they are covered in tattoos and scabs from head to toe.

theres a dude who has a blue beard and three dogs around him all the time. he goes around town offering pre-made joints. for all the years i have ben living here.i have never seen him with another color but blue on his chin.

there’s also another dude we call pony, who has blue tattooed eyes and also moves dope, my ex bf used to work for him. my best friend jokes around that he has a crush on me. i don’t think that, he’s just good at talking.

there’s this man we call pulpo, who roams around town all day and stops everyone for a chat. he unknowingly makes people uncomfortable with his insistence for physical contact. my step-mom calls him uncle. i still don’t know if they’re actually related.

there’s a bunch of crackheads, drug dealers, recovered christians, hippies and strays. there was chica, a beaten down pitbull who loved eating my fries.

i got a tattoo at a bar once. i fucked at the beach. i smoked lots of weed. i ran drunk at the panteón at night. i fell in and out of love. i fought with my dad one thousand times. i tried to drown myself in the ocean another thousand.

once i leave, will i turn into some story of sorts? will they give me a code-name too? will they remember me and all the weird shit i used to do? am i going to stay stuck in town forever, now as a tale?

[thevictoriousone]

I mean for me the big one was snacking on raw potatoes. My pawpaw does it. My mom does it. My brothers do it. I had no idea it was weird until I was an adult and mentioned it to friends who looked at me like I was Gregor from The Metamorphosis.

(I still love raw potatoes with some salt or some Tony Chacheres. Good snack.)

We are currently working on this sort of thing with my kiddo, though I think she’s highly aware these are weird jokes not every family has.

My BIL didn’t want to be called “uncle” but so many family members were like “she can’t just call you by your first name!!!” (I mean why not I call one of my uncles by his first name) So my partner joked that he should use some kind of like royal title. We decided Archduke was the funniest thing, and we committed to the bit so hard that my 8yo calls him Arch to this day.

Same 8yo once complained about us doing Santa with her when he wasn’t real, and I responded, “If you’re mad about Santa, just wait til you find out Grandpa isn’t real.” And then invented this lore where her Grandpa (who has lived with us her entire life, btw) is just some dude we found and hired off the street to play the part of Grandpa. When asked how her dad was born, I explained he was created in a lab…by her Mawmaw, of course. She thinks Fake Grandpa is hilarious and loves to explain that particular lore to anyone who visits. She added on that our cat is actually a sea creature (I forget which one…like a dolphin or something).

I also invented a ghost who lives in my closet. Bertha is nice but has to meet her haunting quota each month to maintain her ghostly claim over the closet, so sometimes she moans, “GET OUT” whenever Alice crowds me in the closet. Bertha’s sleep schedule is a bit wonky to living humans, so it’s unpredictable when she’ll be awake. She’s also the aunt of the ghost that lives at our local bookstore (who makes recommendations by shoving books off the shelf randomly).

Honestly telling random silly lies to you kid or making up weird-ass family rituals or codes or whatever is like. One of the most fun parts of having a kid.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

CRYING MY UNCLE IS DROPPING ME OFF AT DAYCARE LMFAOAOOAAOAOAOAOAJA too real but yeah people definitely should’ve seen this coming like why else would he have survived this far and gotten that little moment with Isagi during in between NEL match training…..

No you’re fr cooking with team matchups but LMAOO so real sorry chigiri we like losers

Oh…that sounds familiar and I just KNOW it’s a nasty ass bug (another point for us matching I also despise bugs!!! Like nope nope I fr cannot even tolerate the harmless ones either sorry they’re just so freaky looking)

LAMSOAL CRYING we’ve got goofy losers and the go big or go home sweethearts but imagine Karasu and otoya it’s like those dudes on tiktok who compete with a girls car or dog for affection LMAOOOOO

- Karasu anon

I LOVE MAKING SILLY ANALOGIES LIKE THAT i think i compared the scene of karasu and hiori in the beginning of the epinagi movie to a dad taking his child to the doctor’s office because his wife made him and the doctor just asked if the child (aka hiori) has any allergies and neither of them have a clue…which is actually very fwtkac coded now that i think about it LMAOAOAO but yeah back on the subject of igaguri i do think it’s not a surprise in the slightest all of the signs were pointing to it lowkey

RIP CHIGIRI it’s okay he has plenty of fans he can spare us two 😩 PLEASE can you imagine they just have glare-downs with the umbreon and the jolteon meanwhile the two of them are just like ? HAHA okay wait also this just reminded me that isagi has a leafeon in pursuit and while leafeon wasn’t really on otoya’s radar for his eevee as SOON as he sees it he starts crying (/hj) because wdym his eevee could’ve evolved and matched the green streak in his hair??? poor sylveon omg the way it’s unanimously agreed to be the strongest eeveelution too…otoya and sylveon enemies (one-sided) to besties arc about to be so extensive HAHAH hold on just remembering what you were saying where the characters are limited to only one type of pokémon because of scenario constraints the only fairy types in reader & co are otoya’s sylveon and tullia’s granbull so what if we have a tullieita platonic side quest moment where otoya HAS to use his sylveon and that’s when he really starts to appreciate what it can do?? and maybe in the meantime reader and karasu are having a “future-pseudo-legendary-dragons” bonding moment with gabite and zweilous

[myforrest2]

Crack house

i see how mass shootings happen

deshaun Watson's tiktok

operation white coat

frumpy body girl. i'm shallow

mental health issues in my family

donte and white titties

molestor uncle

phone sniffin dogs . thanks kamala

china made a sun

goochland va powhite

white women fuck like bots

happy wife happy life

who got better pussy

brett griner

rape fantasies on reddit

racist AI. white people writing code

dont fuck the students at tsu

gaping asshole porn

levels to dv. neigbor got into a dv situation

you gotta be able to fight if ur abusive

country line dancing in 6th grade

growing up christian concervative

i never believed in covid

having nigerian friends

menopause is a funny concept (the last egg)

wish i dates white women cuz the swifties are out!

million white women march

taylor farrakhan

who decided at the meeting that they were selling bean pies

trans women get a taste of getting offended and cant handle

i want to tell trans jokes but everytime, my dick gets cut off

her tax dollars paid for me to do home invasions but she wanna tell me what i can say

id snort midol if i were a woman

3 months of period and 9 months off

the purge for periods 9 months of peace 3 months of chaos

asking about organic vagina new vagina

synthetic vagina vs vagina

dont stop believing can end racism

stacy abrams dresses like hillary clinton

gmo coochie

my red flags

levels to the horny. showin ur face on pornhub

porn on the family computer

first std test

did ur granny fuck wilt chamberlain

used to be a therapist but it got to be too stressful

happy husband happy marriage

how often do u suck his dick ladies?

church revivals coachella for church

part trans cuz circumcised

so easy to scam women wish i had the heart to do it

nothin brings pussy together likes some and scammin niggas

navigating life being objectified

i'm more than my period

women put u in risky situations

they put bombs in the trash

gotta do everything when u Black

being black is annoying

quantum leap

asians are dark skinned white people

disney couldnt find enough swimmin niggss for little mermaid

vasectmy b4 it was fashionable

slave bible

i go to switzerland

drake's bed is made of horse hair and stingray skin

spelman and cosby

relationship with bpd. she can only handle some of my personalities not all of them

cerebral palsey dude's wheelchair stole

cant wait for sex work to be uberred

prayer for the gay demons

y is it always the stud that gets pregnant

first vasectomy nutt

waited for coochies to freshen up before i ate them

prison rapes kept me out of prison

ex wife had two babies

jump started a period

my mom helped plan my dad's funeral

forrest gump had full blown aids in philadelphia

women LOVE subtitles

suicide by negro. saying nigger at the atl airport

gender reveals for intersex babies

karim juwani tossed her baby in woods wrapped in plastic four years ago

mom shaking babies

construction worker on fire took video

wife beater as wash rag neighbor got in dv

my cousins got basic ass white women

taliban dating show

wilt chamberlain

nutted on my own face once

didn't masturbate til i was in college

heroes dose of shrooms

if he buys you beyonce tickets

honey pack fuckin

trans people they treat caitlyn jenner like black people treat clarence thomas

ain't sucked a dick but sucked toes

i aint a gangst but done gangsta shit

the good molestation from my babysitter's daughter

bv pussy/yeasty pussy

my girl fuck wit me cuz i'm that nigga

i hate the white part of me that tells me what to do

price of chicken goin up

snorting midol

moms love reminding u of how many hours of labor they were in

abortion on a 10 year old rape victim doctot had a tatt off a coat hanger with trust women on it

my dad grew up without infoor plumbing

being able to uberize sex work. ordering a blow job on uber one

chinatown knockoff

white boy jumping off cruise ship

asians & blacks

molestation

disney movies

feeling obligated to jack off to porn i paid for

uber sex (sex work)

trans reparations

dating black women is an olympic sport

called the sex line on gmas phone

scammed by uber

MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC

patchy beard but got asshole hair

homeless whites & Asians

c* vid had people keeping count of death

getting old ( aunt marry droolin on herself)

men washing ass (water bottles to wash ass in iraq)

make the money make the rules

comedy humbles u

pandemic paychecks (ppp loan)

black woman will make or break u (cooked in an oven love)

fuckin bbws is awkward 4 me

american black women make me feel like im trans cuz they cut my dick off til i pull out that check

i rode the short bus to the talented and gifted classes

in tag i had to do extra

in tag it was nothing but white people, another brotha came in there and i said he must have had a mom that really cared about his education. i got punched in the stomach for it

get a trans friend cuz they will get reparations first. black people too disorganized

gotta trick your woman into giving u some pussy

i miss drugs

i'll get my dick back from my girl when i make money. i wont get all of it back cuz she's a black woman "niggas ain't shit"

arguin with my girl is worse than arguin with my mom. mom took away nintendo girl takes away pussy

i act like a woman when a woman leaves me. cuz i have ababdonment issues

Jim Crow needs to make a cameo appearance every 10 years to wake niggas up.

i don't cheat cuz i gotta use a condom

fovrite movie is forrest gump. sequal to forrest is philadelphia

i used to be a social worker but my dick stopped working so i had to quit

what's the wildest thing a woman has told you during sex?

love dont exist anymore. im gonna put my women on one year contracts

white name in black body

if i were a serial killer my victims would b homeless black women

carlee fucked it up for yall

i blew up a kid's face in iraq. i hope he becomes president so i can be part of his origin story

watching couples fuck

white people treat slavery like women treat accountability

alien pussy

be funny watchin my married potnas getting punked by their wives

sexxy red went to my highschool

Gilgo beach killer spaced out his white woman victims

I remember when I had to fake like Lizzo's music for some coochie. Oh the lies we men tell.

God is good all the time and all the time God is gooD

Coochie is pink booty hole brown

my skin is light but my comedy is dark

titties lookin right no lefts

If you could own slaves, how many would you have?

Those MAPs folks are jacking off to all the first day of school pics

kamala harris had an orgasm when the tory sentence came down

kelsey shot meg cuz women will shoot each other over the same dick

had a woman tell me she couldn't figure me out

women want to figure us out so they can control our minds

Glad they didn't call me a baby killer when i got back from Iraq

women that have had abortions got that fire

It was lookin like a baby holocaust when abortions were legal. I dated a woman that aborted 2 babies by the same dude. Those could have been 2 Amazon fulfillment workers.

these mew generation of parents have no control over their kids . cryin toddler in hawaii

i love watching kids act out in public . the parents look like they're trying to solve a calculus problem.

mom used basic math, pinching and threats

black women say shit that make u want to punch...... or shoot them. white women say shit that make u want to kill them

these hoes start talkin like chat gbt when you catch them on some bullshit

got evicted with a wife & 2 kids.

named my son after a member of jodeci but my bm swear she named him

serial killer my victims would be homeless black women

i want to date a non verbal autistic woman

ladies can you cover your ears during my set so we men could have a good time?

i wish black women would suck dick the way they suck the fun out the room

being part white is annoying cuz i got a gluten allergy

lake lanier pussy

jim crow day

how to keep a dude from raping u

white people fuck like bots

cub scout leader died so i didn't get molested

getting a black womans love is like trying to get a laugh from black folks

sex farms

pullin pussy with a telegraph machine

"come thru" in morse code

i'm not a conspiracy theorist i'm just a nigga that has never trusted the government

the holocaust was an inside job

how many niggas would black people sacrifice to get the jew treatment

chlamydia the reggie of stds

u know its fire when she burn u and u still wanna fuck

how many cows is your coochie worth

worst fears are heights, deep water & seeing my daughters titties on reddit

met an ethiopian bbw

tranny porn overstimulation

things that annoy me: fat niggas that ain't funny

student loans

dental damn

being black is a game of dodging diseases and gun violence

trump 2 real for black women they voted for a dude that don't take care of his responsibilities

glad i aint the uncle in the back room doin heroin

coochie after the club trick

low low low price of pussy

how i decide to go raw

men would have babies and not abortions cuz it would require us to go to the doctor

abuse is relative

dad was an aspiring preacher like an aspiring rapper

ai is the cotton jin

black womn patten for heater

giving homeless dick

field vs deployment

jail vs. prison

pregnancy test vasectomy

foreskins

drugs are for young boys

people with guns are scared bitches

lgbt DV do studs hit their girlfriends with their straps

post ops arr funnier than pre ops

dick losing a step

2% gay

- [ ]

pop art and anime

working for pussy

[mittenscatgod]

hey is there any particular Qi story you wish existed but can't/don't want to write for some reason. Asking for a friend

yeah im always thinking about his friendship with mint and his relationship with his parents. depending on how long my fic gets through the 'story' of the assistant and qi that exists in my head (my barely uncontained lust) they might wind up meeting qis parents and grandfather but as a person hes very focused on the present moment and doesnt like talking much about himself which leads to questions about his upbringing.

he describes himself as a child as 'aloof' (which i think is jsut qi code for being a normal kid not focused on scientific achievement) and we see him smiling in his pictures. it seems like he's had a pretty positive upbringing with two parents who really love eachother, but he sort of... talks down to them? sometimes in a way thats almost classist (he refers to his parents work area [or their home? idk] as a 'fishing-shack') and rude (criticizing their enjoyment of their profession in a way he doesnt understand or "unoptimized") and its like. the way he talks about his grandfather and the way he talks about his parents are very different. Mint never brings up his mom and dad, but brings up his grandpa. so, like, whats going on there? were his parents absent a lot on fishing trips?

chances are he has a good relationship with his parents. hes canonically confirmed to write them AT LEAST about events important to his life (he mentions telling them when he starts dating you, his 3.14%) so it doesnt seem unhealthy. and he is generally pretty tone deaf and i dont really think hes fully cognizant of the nuances of him talking down on his parents. i doubt its one of active resentment but like dude its so unsexy of you the way you talk about your mom and dad im bone dry over here

i think about qi and mint reflecting on their shared childhood semi frequently as suggested by some of their reflections on it in fwb:mwrm. qi goes through a lot of changes through his canonical 'character arc' and he starts putting more effort into his social responsibilities and it makes me wonder like...

-Mint is very family oriented in portia, having had none growing up in the orphanage and craving the opportunity to start one, where as qi seems to be pretty flippant about his up until he gets married and has a family of his own. does that ever create any difficulties between them? Would Qi talk about his parents the same way infront of mint?

-When do you think Qi really changed his mindset from aloofness to his now very progress oriented track of mind? did it impact their relationship at all?

-Mint and Qi both confirm that they remember the old creations they made together. how does seeing qi realize some of what they'd discussed change their relationship?

i like their friendship. i see them like distant siblings i guess. i can't see myself writing anything devoted to it outside of fwb but i feel like qi has a lot of intricacies that people dont pay attention to. his relationship with mint is clearly very important to him even if he has an ...interesting way of showing it (mint breaks his equipment and he's barely mad, bronco touches his equipment and he'll 'never forgive him') and thus the builders/his partners relationship with mint is probably also pretty important. and mints relationship with his kid if he ever has one ('uncle mint' is a VERY cute idea).

i also love the idea of him going to a festival with the builder. any of them. ohhhhh i just know he'd fucking love winning at the prophunt one

[torchbearing]

@razielim the thing is that to me, in my head, hal is just averse to that title of being someone's dad because of the commitment it inspires, y'know? he sees martin jordan when he looks in the mirror and is just terrified of the idea of being a dad figure to anyone but helen, because helen needed him terribly and no one else could step up to the plate.

so being kyle's dad??? terrifying. he's leaving that to alan, thank you very much.

he's more of the cool uncle guy, y'know? see with wally and roy. looks after you and feels kinda paternal but doesn't have that weight of being your actual mentor or actual father figure. he's the uncle coded guy! the fun dude that looks after you! definitely cares for you but runs HARD from that dad thing because god forbid he fucks this up like his dad did.

i’m actually really curious about this, how do y’all interpret hal + kyle?