#he is very aware of these facts. doesnt care in the SLIGHTEST.

[buwheal]

if you keep eating from the trash, you'll get food poisoning. most of the food is probably rotten, that's why it's in the trash there's also a possibility that a maus got it's saliva all over what you're eating you could also get a virus if the food's contaminated with malware because someone sick ate some of it

[strawbrygashez]

AUTISTIC LARS HCS!! Like my other Bridge Kids hcs lists, some of these r subject to change since the show is still going :>

•Lars didn’t talk much while growing up which concerned his parents. After going to a few doctors & whatnot, they figured out it was because he’s autistic. When Marc Anthony came around and they found out he’s autistic as well, they felt a lot more at ease and prepared this time around. (Not saying they didn’t want to meet all of Lars’ different needs and whatever as he was growing up, they were just kinda anxious because they were first time parents and didn’t know what to expect & what would be different than the ‘usual’ parenting experience)

•His parents are very accommodating to his and his brothers needs & preferences. If Marc doesn’t like his foods touching, they’ll be extra careful when putting together his dinner plate for example.

•Lars doesnt like clothes that are form fitting or in the slightest bit tight. All of his clothes are baggy. Even outfits for ‘formal’ things like tuxedos and whatnot. When he was made to wear stuff that he didn’t like (before his diagnosis), he’d be picking at his clothes every 5 seconds and trying to adjust them until they felt right or he’d just cross his arms and refuse to wear whatever his parents were trying to get him into.

•He’s very monotone, never shows that much emotion, and can be blunt every now and then. Some people can think he’s rude or that he doesn’t have feelings sometimes because of how he is and can get frustrated with him :/

•When he smiles, it’s small and not very noticeable unless you’re standing close to him.

•His special interests is in music and he is one of those guys who can get a little too technical about music genres. Like if you said “yeah that bands great. I love deathcore” he’s the type to be like “uhm. I dunno- I would say they are more post hardcore than deathcore.” But he’s not gonna be an ass about it. He just is particular about it.

Speaking of this, Fug goes out of his way to look up and learn about all the different genres of metal just because it’s something that interests Lars even though he himself isn’t really into metal. Sometimes they’ll talk about all the different genres or bicker over whatever genre a song Lars put on is lol

•Since the school is made aware of Lars’ autism, they are pretty lax with him wearing headphones when a teacher isn’t actively teaching since it helps him focus and drown out noises that can make it hard for him to focus. It’s actually how Fug found out how Lars is autistic. He was jealous that Lars was able to wear them around all the time and one day was complaining about it not being fair and against the rules until Lars just told him why he’s allowed to. Fug was just like “oh… sorry.” and never brought it up again 💀 well besides every now and then when he’s sharing random facts he saw online about autism.

•Regarding meltdowns, at the worst he self h*rms (he tries not to do that anymore) or pull his hair. But more often than not he just curls up somewhere and closes his eyes until he can calm down and doesn’t feel as overstimulated.

•You can catch him always messing with something in his hand like a pen or eraser at school. I already talked about this before but I think he’s always gotta be moving some part of himself even when he’s calm.

(Kinda random but I feel like he would wear multiple rings every now and then and he definitely plays with them while zoning out or listening to someone)

•He prefers not being touched or hugged especially out of nowhere but it isn’t too much of a big deal for him. He just tries to end it quickly and casually.

•Him and his little brother have this kinda silent bond and understanding of each other. Lars is really glad there’s someone around who’s like him :,) They try to take care of each other during those bad moments and they bond just by being in the same room as each other doing their own things.

[sixersigned]

notes on the mind electric v! affiliated w/ @deciphver </3

essentially an au where bill didn't 'fumble' ford, and essentially doubled down on the long con. he didn't out his plans immediately, and kept it under wraps. gaslit, girl kept, girl bossed.

ford is. unfortunately still very enamored by him, and that doesn't help things in the slightest. they're not formerly a thing but it feels like they are.

fiddleford tried to erase stanford's memory, knowing about bill's plans and regrettably knowing how much bill had ford wrapped around his finger, this was the only way to stop both of them. fidds and ford fought, and ford won, and erased FIDDS' memory in retaliation.

stanford smashed the memory gun not long after doing this, angry at himself. he was emotionally beaten up over losing fiddleford for months, even years--much to bill's annoyance. he won't forgive himself. bill moved the body and that night was a blur.

construction on the portal continues, but things keep happening that are detrimental to its progress. the society of the blind eye is knocking about, making getting resources more of a nightmare, and all around interfering. college grants are in the air having nothing to show for them, and bill is getting irate that somehow, fidds is still somehow getting in the way.

ford is still grieving, and it's in these times that his mind wanders to his brother. he knows full well his muse tells him not to waste time thinking about someone who he should've eaten in the womb, but ford has lost all support systems except bill and he's scrambling for the first semblance of another human being. but there's no one he can trust with his work except his muse.

bill takes note of this. decides to bring stan to gravity falls as a surprise for sixer's own good, but it's really just an underhanded plot to turn ford against his last semblance of a support system. stan knows something's up, but he can't reach his brother basically. something is doing something to him but he can't find the puzzle piece. portal fight breaks out, and ford pushes his own brother into the portal.

the guilt? immeasurable.

ford wishes he hadn't smashed the memory gun. he has intrusive thoughts about that thing, how he wishes he could forget what he's done. but he remembers to hold himself accountable, hold himself to the mark.

meanwhile bill tells ford white lies about how he's looking for his brother with no luck while ford continues to work on the portal. smth smth haven't plotted it in detail, but stan did something to set back the progress (and ford doesnt have fidds degree) and its postponed for another 30 years.

another 30 years with no social contact other than that of a twisted dream demon. the years change stanford into an anxious morbid mess, and though he doesn't really portray sadistic traits like his muse does, he doesn't bat an eye anymore when the other's facade slips.

no metal plate in his head! he's still free possession estate bc he didn't get portal'd in this verse. he couldn't step out of line if he wanted to. if he did.

very much aware of how much power his muse has though. and very wary of the fact that people who speak ill of stanford suffer the worst fate imaginable.

the pines twins come over to visit for the summer, close to the portal's completion. ford knows his muse will probably be upset with him, but it hits hard hearing mabel and dipper's parents arguing over the phone & getting flashbacks to a broken home. he excuses that the twins will be gone by the portal's completion anyway, and that he'll hide everything.

how much damage can two children do? he was a child once. he knows. but he insists he has a handle on it. however, bill isn't too pleased about it, and if ford doesn't handle it, then he will. ford is avoiding that at all costs because ugh god, these kids grow on him.

he has a support system?? he cares about someone other than bill?? these kids fill him with so much joy, and he wants to do all he can to make them happy and inspire them. overall a bit more anxious but in a better mood.

nwhs, stan comes back, and he calls out stanford's bs. a la. 'yo my brother's a cultist' 'whaaa no im not!!' distrust all around

though his relationship is rocky with stan, he cares so much abt those kids, it might be a problem, especially leading up to weirdmageddon.

he is hiding weirdmageddon. like actively. he didn't seal any kind of rift.

miiight have doubts leading up to the finale?? but who knows still plotting

smth smth they have to erase fords memory to stop bill. or this is one of those canon timelines where the pines lost. idk

that's all we got so far gdfkngd

[1800duckhotline]

https://www.tumblr.com/1800duckhotline/748414044204154880/i-seriously-think-this-show-was-created-in-a-lab?source=share

hi! im not able to send you dms but i really want to know what you think about hazbin. i downed the entire thing in a day out of morbid fascination of seeing how that artstyle animates, but the quality of the script and handling of the structure of the show are so dogshit that the show has been lodged in my mind. and my friends who i can rely upon for their thoughtful analysis are not people who would watch it.

basically Hello Send Help

Honestly you summed up most of my plights within the show already, its just dogshit all around flaming and whatnot and i cannot believe there's 30 years old who eat this slop up. i can forgive teenagers for liking it (i am very self-aware as someone who read fucking homestuck when i was 13) but i cannot forgive fully grown adults for thinking this show has any sort of nuanced or well-written story

i finished watching the show feeling less aggravated by the designs and visual dev of the whole thing (though obviously its still really bad), and instead more by how insultingly and exhilaratingly bad the writing was.

i could literally take out my blocknote review of the whole show starting from ep 1 to ep 8 but i want to spare my friends who dgaf about hearing about this show. so ill just try to resume concisely my thoughts using my notes as crutches

this will be a very long one and again to spare people of pain ill put it under a readmore

vivienne medrano does not care about the female characters in her own show. idk about helluvaboss and i honestly dont want to watch it unless someone watches it with me, but from what i hear hazbin hotel was supposed to be the show "focused on the girls" while helluva boss was supposed to "focus on theboys". you'll never guess what happens in this show. the main 2 girls, who are supposed to be protagonist, are completely flat characters, that are given the slightest margin of spotlight THE LAST TWO EPISODES OF THE SEASON, and no 8 episodes isnt a justification for the dogshit writing they have. vaggie is the "angry mean militaristic lesbian of color who also coddles her white girlfriend" and charlie is "goody two shoes who doesn't use her powers as literal PRINCESS OF HELL because it's 'too mean' and who is babied and is also written like a baby that doesnt know how to act besides being 'positive and whimsical'". they are literally a ship trope shipped together because idk.

most of the development in the show is handed onto the guys, obviously, as they get the most songs, most exposure to their backstories, and most interactions that are somewhat written less one-dimensionally than the girls. (not to say the guys aren't also walking ship tropes for fanfic purposes). like you can't spin this in a way that doesn't sound bad, the men just get more spotlight and that's a fucking fact. so much for "focus on the girls". fucking SIR PENTIOUS GETS A SONG AFTER HIS DEATH, GUYS

none of the angel vs hell lore makes any fucking lick of sense, and i dont mean to say it needs to be biblically adjacent, it just doesnt make fucking sense even in the "original" lore it is constructing. how is hell supposed to be a threat to heaven when hell denizens dont have access to heaven?? this question alone makes anyone question what the hell the exterminations really are for. also, like, i really fucking hate adam, he's literally the most annoyingly written villain, like he's not even funny in a trashy way. if you want to make your main villain a hypocrite who's also a massive misogynist and sexist, writing him like a frat bro makes sense if your story is set in a college campus. this is HEAVEN AND HELL. all of his lines are just stupid and senseless for the context this all takes place in (also like lute being essentially a tradwife for him is literally such a stupid choice, if you want to make a meaningful commentary about misogyny among women this isnt how it works)

all of the sin and pure shit and repenting deal is like... literally awful. for a show that prides itself on owning the bigots who think gay sex and doing drugs and doing crimes is all inherently evil, the writing really does not do itself a favor of subverting this real-world bigoted way of thinking. as unintentional as it might be it kind of just reinforces it when the character they decide to 'repent' is fucking angel dust, a literal sex worker stuck in a cycle of abuse with an abusive rapist pimp and who does drugs as a way to cope in his life. because obviously sex work (and bdsm) is inherently sinful and disgusting and the only way to repent is to give up disgusting gay sex and sinful drugs and just stick it to the abuser that has you literally by the leash! i dont think this was intentional but it comes off as hilariously stupid and straight up tactless. (also we don't talk about how the storyboarded for the song poison apparently also drew rape comics of angel dust and valentino before as a kink thing)

oh on the topic of valentino, i dont fucking get people liking him. he is literally shown to be abusive and a rapist. people will see a thin man who's not straight and hump his legs like their life depends on it. at least he isnt white but i'd actually say this makes everything worse because vivienne medrano LOVES making the characters in her show of ambiguous ethnicities/backgrounds and ends up making most of the awful ones, of color. again dont think this is INTENTIONALLY done but it still comes across as horrid nonetheless. whew!!!

also i hate alastor in all types ways sauces and forms. he exists to attract fangirls and rabid fans who love tumblr sexymen. other than his design being tremendously aggravating, he's literally just fucking useless, and i hate that the show tries to shoehorn in halfway that he's supposed to be a "dad figure" to charlie when he literally never has done anything dadlike for her in the whole show (and yes i watched the pilot, i still dont think this counts). the only saving grace for alastor is his voice acting. everything else needs to go. there is no saving this one

and, on the topic of alastor, i'm not the first one to point this out but something about him owning husk's soul (the one character being voiced by a black VA, who coincidentally also has a design that is conveniently ambiguous with him being a fucking. winged cat furry demon ig) has like some really bad vibes about it that i can't quite put my finger on. i'm not entirely qualified to like dissect the issues this whole show has with like... the way certain implied characters of color act within it (i say implied because vivziepop is allergic to giving the main characters of her shows actual dark skin colors that arent grey, except maybe some one-off side characters) but it was just so jarring i had to mention it

i also hate lucifer because again, made for purely fanfic ship tropes and rabid fans who are obsessed with 'pathetic sopping wet cat men' with that signular character trait. his persnality is: Depression and Dad. I literally hated every fucking moment in this show where he was in a scene and was treated as "just some guy". same with charlie. Like the lack of authority they have for a supposed KING AND PRINCESS OF HELL is just... i dont know? stupid?

conclusion is that i hate the show, i will however bee seeing season 2 just because at this point im in it for the long run, its just like, other than the visuals being awful; it was legitimately the least aggravating part for me (THIS DOESNT MEAN I LIKE THEM, I DONT, I HATE THEM TOO) but the whole writing is just... wow. i just don't understand how they got a24 to back this up. like you cant make this shit up this bad even if you tried. and im sure there's a trillion other things other people have more eloquently explained in how and which ways they are bad; these are just some of my thoughts.

my concluding statement is that i also feel really bad for people who do entire rewrites of this thing as 'fans'. i dont get it. like i get doing redesigns because it can be an exercise and because lets be real, like, everyones design is bad, hardly anything is salvageable or makes sense. but rewriting... guys please just make your own stories from scratch. at the cost of being told "omg this is just like hazbin hotel!" you have to persevere and just write your own shit. because doing the redesigns means unpacking heaps of 'lore' that doesnt make any whatsoever sense...

[trollocs-ooc]

2 13 16

2. Already answered here, sort of

13.Do they enjoy poetry?

No, but that's cus i dont read poetry

16.Do they have or want kids?

Ok so trolls don't traditionally HAVE kids to raise, but apart from 2/11 I'll talk abt it like theyd be thinking about that at some point in life

Second and Eleven have Slashr, obviously. Second likes kids but is bad with them and Eleven doesnt like kids but is good with them. Second was thrilled to have Slashr to raise but Eleven did not want thst at all at first. He got used to it eventually though.

Slashr .... probably has a complicated thought process about it. They would know they wouldn't be a good parent.

Kullie would not want kids and would not be a good parent. She's supposed to be the baby.

TA should not be around kids.

The Dehorner, Twelve, The Man Himself. He is a very evil individual but on a paternal scale i feel like he'd actually be....decent? maybe somewhat good even? Not in instilling moral and good values, but in a caring/loving sense. He'd be good to his kids, and raise them with enough discipline to not be complete pieces of trash. He kind of has this grandpa relationship with Slashr that counts, i think. Slashr is an adult by the time they meet though, so Twelve can't exactly do much raising. He lets them be because they're their own adult that can take care of themselves and helps them out when they ask, and maybe murders some people when Slashr comes to his hive bleeding out a little too much, but that's about it. I DID CONSIDER Twelve having raised a child long before Slashr, but I'm kind of on the fence about it. (If you're curious, he would have acquired it by one of his servants somehow getting an offplanet grub and not wanting to cull it, so hed raise it. I mean violets live long as shit is the idea really that improbable?)

Balkantroll . NOPE they are well aware they cannot raise kids. They do not hate kids but they cannot be around them for too long, he has too short of a temper

Ruzmar. I feel like it would be good with kids but just wouldn't think abt it. If its partner wanted some it'd raise them but wouldn't really be something it'd go out of it's way for.

Whybie. Ok whybies a fucking teenager so let's assume it's the AU where they somehow live to adulthood and become emperor. Whybie would have such a weird ass outlook on reproducing. I cannot overstate how weird. Like i imagine theyd be fucking terrified of anyone finding out theyre not a real fuchsia after they already got everything they wanted, and if were going off the headcanon that...genetic material....has the same color as the blood, then they also wouldn't let anyone...see that. They'd have to have a partner they really actually trust to even like put their genes in a bucket. And even then theyd be terrified of making grubs with their mutated blood color, that would potentially get culled on sight, all because they decided to breed and make more "wrong" trolls. The thought of someone culling a baby with their blood color, that they made makes them physically sick.

But as a parent? An actual parent? Whybie would be fucking terrible. Not to the kids, but at raising them. Those would be the most spoiled fucking brats in the universe and you know for a fact whybie would not be self aware in the slightest. Or , they would be, they just wouldn't care. Yeah my kids are terrible, who cares? They're better than everyone, so why shouldn't they be? Oughhh rich person parenting but a million times worse. They would love the kids if they could actually have them, but they should not be parenting. The only universe in which i can see whybie not being a total awful parent, is the "i can fix them" ending of that fake dating sim where the protagonist, as the name implies, "fixes" them, so they're not a total piece of shit anymore, just really arrogant. Maybe, maybe then they wouldn't completely spoil their hypothetical kids into becoming monsters of people. MAYBE.

[thecrackshiphouse]

Diego enters the scene because i fucking said so.

In this AU Diego is Giornos brother because i love Diego, this is my AU, fight me. When Giogio was little, Dio would go to parks and such and pick up women, using the single father stick to get sympathy, and the atraction of women who liked a man who could take care of his children. At a young age Giorno mastered the cute baby/toddler laugh and the ques to use it whenever Dio was trying to get some snu snu. Most of the time it would be a one and done type of situation. Generally when women came up to Dio, they were wanting satisfaction because their husbands or partners couldn't do it for them. And I mean, look at the man i wouldn't blame them. But after one night, a situation that at the time only happened once to him. (unbeknownst to him it had happened 4 other times besides this one and Giorno) But many years later when Giorno is well into being a mafia boss, Dio being unaware of the 5 other children he had fathered. He was enjoying a lovely date night with Risotto. It was a rare night where they went to a nice restaurant, rather than their nights in, or late night picnics. They were enjoying themselves until a young blonde man, who appeared frighteningly similar to a certain blonde at the table approached the couple. This young man didn't look happy in the slightest as he looked at Dio depending that he take responsibility for what he's done. Dio of course is confused as to what the young man is even talking about since his tastes are almost any grown woman walking, or very particular men like Risotto. So not only did the one in front of him not look like a woman, he didn't fit any of the criteria Dio had for men. That is until Diego showed him a picture of Dio with his mother while she was in Italy on holiday. It did take Dio a bit of time to remember her since the man is a full on whore and has slept with god knows how many people before now. After some time it became clear that Diego was accusing Dio of being his father. Dio looking him up and down outright refused any relation to the other. Whereas Risotto, sitting on the other side of the table saw all of the similarities between the two of them. The way the two were bickering with each other, the way that young Diego was holding himself was just like his significant other. After arguing and their lovely date getting cut short, to prevent Dio from causing a bigger scene than what was already happening Risotto took Dio home to calm down,. Unfortunately things didnt end there. Diego followed them, refusing to let Dio brush him off like the other potential bastard children he had fathered. With him Diego, had a paternity test, and as much proof as he could get to say that Dio was his father. And since his mother was no longer with them, He gave Dio no choice but to let him move in and stay with him. Diego was spiteful to the fact that Giorno was well taken care of and the only child that dio was actually aware of, and then Trish who wasn't even Dios kid was taken in and taken care of just as well. It took quite a bit of time before things settled down and any of them began to bond. Diego and Giorno started to bond faster than he would with anyone else in the family. With the news of Diego being Dios son, Dio now became aware of some other children that potentially could be his. Three in america, surrounding one location that he refuses to get close to again, and one in Japan (little reminder that i made Josuke Dios child rather than Josephs because i like joseph with suzie and didnt want him to cheat)

Luckily, none of them were trying to go at him like Diego did, but now he had to work on bonding with a mostly grown son that doesnt have anything close to a good impression of him. After a lot of trial and error, Dio was able to start a bond with Diego, but they still have a long way to go before they could be considered close. In the other hand, Diego has gotten close to the siblings that he was now living with. Especially Giorno, the two becoming like two peas in a pod. Diego isn't the best at gambling, his poker face being terrible no matter how much either D'arby tries to teach him, but he was very smart, and good with animals. After getting a suggestion from literally everyone in the house but Diego, Dio used some of the free space they had on the property and made a horse stable, and got a horse for Diego to care for and ride. This was the biggest step in bonding with Dio and Diego, and is the main thing they have gotten close with. Dio isn't the best with animals in general, but Diego seems to be a natural. As long as Diego does what he needs to, Dio has no issue in providing what is needed for Diego to care for the horse.

[businessbois]

It would be a lie to say that I'm not the tiniest bit salty about what happened this mcc, but I think the people over on twitter raging on it are really overracting. I don't care about the hbomb thing, it was a glitch and he used it to his advantage, good for him. People have done it before. Wlbur glitch anyone? However, I think the thing that is bothering me a bit is Ace race. The fact that everyone was screwed over except Scott's team, who did perfectly fine, is a bit annoying. If it had been any other team that had figured it out and gotten an advantage it would be fine, like good for them for figuring it out. but the fact that Scott's team had such a big advantage over everyone else just going into it feels the slightest bit rigged. Like Scott knew he would have an advantage over everyone, I think it would just of been good sportsmanship to just reset after it went so terribly for everyone but his team. Then again, as of right now I've only seen red rabbits pov so maybe other team's didn't struggle as much, but it seems like everyone participating was at least a little bit annoyed.

I think the big thing that bothers me about it the most is Tommy's team were doing just so incredibly well. Like they were performing so much better then I expected, Tommy literally did amazing and niki?? She popped off! She performed so much better then I thought she would, I was so happy to see her survive for all of survival games (is that what its called?) Tubbo and vikkstar did amazing as well, they worked so well as a team. I really wanted to see them win or at least get topped three, I feel like they deserved it. It hurt to see them get screwed over so much towards the end. Bless Tommy for being such a good sport, you can really tell he's a good kid when you watch him in mcc.

Bt at the end of the day, it's just a block game. It's just a bit disappointing how things turned out win wise. Like, it's hard for me to feel excited for a team that literally got like a huge advantage over everyone else by having a literal developer on their side and pretty stacked players from what I've seen. Not to mention the glitch, but no ones really to blame for that. I think Scott's team could at of least benefitted from a low scoring player in their midst to make up for the fact that Scott was the only one who had experience in the games and could help his teammates with them as well. So yeah, I don't r e a l l y care much at all, that's just something that kind of bothered me a bit.

yeah i couldnt give less of a shit about the hbomb thing, people take advantages of glitches in mcc all the time like the aforementioned wilbur glitch and phil's thing in rocket spleef and tommy in sands of time and a dozen other things, especially in hitw because that game is hella scuffed. doesnt really matter chill.

i agree with what wilbur said on his twitter, i honestly dont really care about the ace race thing because shit like thats happened before to the captain in mcc2 and to fundy in mcc-i-forgot-which-one-maybe-10-but-it-happened. and it happened to a lot of people. But i do wish they would admit that scott Did have an advantage and that they're sorry and will fix that for next time.

like watching wisp's vod, im a little bit miffed that scott seemed aware that that would trip people up saying "when you get to the elytra bit, i would recommend going down" of course that 100% doesn't excuse sending hate to scott or any of the winners, fuck right off with that. it's an mc tournament For Fun. no money or glory really, just a coin. this shit shouldn't overshadow the fact that they all performed very well and it shouldnt take away from any of the players'—especially wisp and jimmy since this was their first—win.

but aqua didn't even score first in points, that went to blue. they got second and then beat them in dodgebolt fair and square.

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[svpervixen]

If I end up murdered/missing under mysterious circumstances, I just want it on the record that I am fully aware that cheap ass men see me as a threat and may become unhinged enough to end my life in response to the actions I take, which, in regards to my telling the truth and holding shit boys accountable for their shit behavior, knows no bounds. Since I was in middle school, I have ALWAYS spoken up against creeps and abusers, defending the abused, and acknowledging the injustices I witness. Doesnt matter who the fuck you are, if you use your time and energy to make advances towards women who are either just trying to do their fucking jobs, or are walking down the street, or just trying to fucking breathe in public, then you WILL face the consequences of such inhumane, disrespectful actions, coming from a woman who has had ENOUGH. I have ALWAYS made a stand with any asshole who stepped out of line with my own intent of protecting women, and most importantly, letting women know they’re not alone, and someone else can see the harm occurring, and that they’re not crazy for having an emotional reaction to harassment. Doesn’t matter who the fuck it is, my stance is CONSISTENT; could be a total stranger, could be a close friend, family member, I do not care. I learned very early on in my life how disheartening it is to watch so many injustices happen to you, while no one says or does anything to help the situation. I have always vowed to be the exact opposite of that kind of person. I have gotten into screaming matches with grown men who I witnessed sexually harass literal children. I have spent days of my life comforting women who have been abused by a man. And even when I tell myself, “maybe you need to back off”, or, “maybe you’re just too paranoid”, it still never stops me from taking a stand when necessary. When something is wrong, I can’t ignore it. My mind, body, and soul won’t let me. If you have a conscious, you know what notion I’m talking about.

Thursday, I stood up to some sad excuse of a “man” at work. Some 50-60 year old fuck who walks around with a v-neck and gold chain constantly, as if the sparkle of that chain could hide the massive amount of hair loss on his head. You know the type. I’ve been at my job for close to four years now, and he’s a frequent flyer here; likes to complain about a specific department if they do even the slightest thing wrong, but more significantly, spends much of his time hitting on any woman who is in my store, an employee or not, which tells me and everyone else that he has no one to go home to and gets his jimmies off, and is most likely experiencing a mid-life crisis and expects anyone in his path to comply to him, because, yknow, he’s a man, and he’s white-passing. He spent a good ten minutes the other night making useless, uncomfortable conversation with one of my coworkers. He set to leave without a “big” fuss and I ALMOST let it go. But, my convictions moved me, yet again, so I ended up approaching him. I told him to his face, right beside him (could’ve been arm and arm with the fuck) that as long as he comes in here and talks to my coworkers the way he does, that I will be watching him. I didn’t swear, I didn’t threaten him. All I did was give a voice, give words, to his gross, inappropriate, shady actions, that he would most definitely attempt to cover up as something that it’s not, as unaccountable men frequently do. So many abusive men like to paint the picture as if the victims are overreacting. The only way to fight that idea is to challenge it, and I intend to do so through and through, no matter who it is. The funniest thing to me about this situation was that the only “threat” I made was acknowledging his problematic behavior while actively refusing to back down in the face of his excuses or threats. Sound familiar?

Friday, same pathetic little “man” came into my store, but with the intent of approaching my boss, and telling her all about me and my actions. I was in the office dealing with paperwork while this piece of shit caught my boss at the very last second before she left, after working over 10 hours. Luckily, my boss is a gem of a woman who, rather brilliantly, knows how to balance work relations/personal feelings in a way that I, honestly, never could; she’s a warrior of a woman. I’ll admire her to my deathbed. She set aside any of her own feelings and dealt with the person in a way I simply can’t... simply stuck to facts, and immediately approached the issue with the intent of protecting me when it came to our higher-ups. Because, as the asshole put it, he would “make sure I was fired”.

In the same breaths, he was calling me crazy, which is nothing new for me. Suggested I needed “pills”, and that something was wrong with me. Frequently did the “point-at-head-and-rotate-finger” motion while trying to cut me with his eyes. Even started pointing at me, and shaking, while swearing at me and calling me a crazy bitch. I couldn’t help but notice the fact that my own anxieties were causing me to slowly start shaking as well, but, of course, for entirely different reasons as opposed to him, and every woman reading this knows exactly what I’m talking about. Too bad this time it wasn’t being recorded to be shown off and laughed at later, but hey, if anyone wants to see what I look like breaking down at work, check back in a while!

It’s clear to me why he reacted the way he did, as this is a lesson I’ve been learning for the past several years now; I became a vessel that acknowledged whatever the fuck this man was most insecure about, to put it simply. The fact that my perceivable form is that of a white alternative woman meant he could tap into whatever hatred he has for women while allowing his toxic masculinity to avoid any reasoning or accountability, and eventually, letting his lack of control over a women lead into intimidation and threats towards my well-being to, again, only appease his own paper ego. I could explain that kind of behavior for days, but, I’m going to save it for now; I’ll have more to say in about two weeks.

I go back to work Tuesday and I’m sure I’ll have more to hear about it, since he was soooo adamant about pushing this as high as he needed it to go in order for me to lose my job. So, basically, what a goddamn surprise; an outspoken woman, through valid fear and unwavering determination, made a stand to acknowledge an injustice, and the accused goes on whatever his ultimate defense is, simply to cater to his fragile ego. A tale as old as motherfuckin time itself.

[constablegoo]

STUDY : Odo.

— basics.

▸ is your muse tall / short / average ?   6′0″   (and described as tall)

▸ are they okay with their height ?   it’s one of the few things he has complete control over, so. yes.

▸ what’s their hair like ?   slicked back, sandy. the texture is only approximate to real hair. it’s in mimicry of the scientist who ‘raised’ him. it’s never out of place in the slightest, but if it is, something’s seriously wrong.

▸ do they spend a lot of time on their hair / grooming ?   it takes about half a second to achieve his usual look -- but it wasn’t always that way. recreating hair is not easy but it’s straightforward, and so he’s spent a lot of time practicing it. he won’t often deviate, but if he does experiment, it’s usually because of someone else’s passing comment.

▸ does your muse care about their appearance / what others think ?   terribly. he’s both extremely self-conscious AND has an image to keep up, one he’s fabricated to appear more authoritative. at the same time, he’s not uncomfortable in his body -- just finely aware that he’s wearing an imperfect mask and that what lay beneath breeds hatred and fear. he’s extremely protective over who gets to see evidence of his natural state.

— preferences.

▸ indoors or outdoors ?  outdoors. but he’s spent most of his life inside. :/

▸ rain or sunshine ?  both, very strongly.

▸ forest or beach ?  he would loooooove to see both, some day.

▸ precious metals or gems ?  only in terms of an interest in their physical properties.

▸ flowers or perfumes ?  no sense of smell. :( but he does love to look at a flower!

▸ personality or appearance ?  hahah. personality. imagine the irony.

▸ being alone or being in a crowd ?   alone... just not isolated.

▸ order or anarchy ?  ORDER, babey. he sucks.

▸ painful truths or white lies ?  painful truths, GOD the painful truths. he’d far rather know, any day -- and he dishes them out, too.

▸ science or magic ?  science. he’s very much a detective.

▸ peace or conflict ?  peace. but he’s never really seen it.

▸ night or day ?  either.

▸ dusk or dawn ?  same.

▸ warmth or cold ?  warmth, although it’s more difficult to shapeshift.

▸ many acquaintances or a few close friends ?  a few close friends. he says for ages he doesn’t need anyone, but he’s a big sad liar.

▸ reading or playing a game ?  reading uwu

— questionnaire.

▸ what are some of your muse’s bad habits ?   oh boy. self-isolation, self-destruction... not asking for help when he needs it. taking matters into his own hands. and he’s P-E-T-T-Y, overly sensitive, fiercely independent, touchy. he’s short-tempered and grouchy and gnarly to be around a lot of the time -- and rarely happy. he’s cynical and sarcastic every chance he can get away with it, stubborn, haughty, condescending, and self-conscious to the point of pushing everyone away... yeah he’s got issues lmao and he perpetuates this deflective image out of a deep fear of rejection. but he’s also a little tsundere with a very soft heart. :P

▸ has your muse lost anyone close to them ? how has it affected them ?   for the longest time, he hasn’t allowed himself to become close to anyone. he has, however, seen a lot of death and a lot of injustice, and it has informed his view of the universe. he also reacted so strongly to the threat of kira’s execution that it shook him out of a kind of hypnosis :’0

▸ what are some fond memories your muse has ?   there aren’t many lol. he had absolutely no childhood and grew up in the midst of decades-long social and political turmoil. but after the end of the occupation, he, like the rest of bajor, began to heal, and im sure the fondest memories of his life are with the family he finds aboard the same station that saw so much misery.

perhaps the only other early memories he has resembling something fond are of seeing wildlife while under mora’s care. :”)

▸ is it easy for your muse to kill ?   he won’t, as a rule. he does kill someone, but he won’t unless it’s accidental or the situation is extreme (wartime). even then, he won’t touch a weapon (he already is one). :)))

▸ what’s it like when your muse breaks down ?   he,,,, literally melts...... dsfjglkfd he becomes a mess!! in spite of what he projects, he’s very emotional and very easily emotionally influenced, almost a little bit of a teenager. he can’t physically cry, but when super angry he WILL lash out and become surprisingly destructive. he’ll also shut down and/or lock himself away... he’s so miserable lmao and he actually doesn’t handle it all that well

▸ is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life ?   oh hell ye. for someone so chronically paranoid and kinda lone wolf, he works so well in a team afsgdjkdf

▸ what’s your muse like when they’re in love ?   this goo... is the softest lover,,, ‘lover’ is kind of a lofty word i dont like to use but that’s what he is, a huge hopeless closet romantic. :/ he daydreams and get distracted ... he’s so dumb... he reads self-help books and shitty romance novels adgfhjs and he’ll pay EVERY cost to make sure his crush never knows, but it’ll still show in a thousand little ways,,, its so stpuid... it’s gentle... a little bit shy but earnest and certain..... it is intense, unwavering loyalty and devotion and attention, but it’s honest, too, grounded in the reality of the world and the fact that people are deeply flawed and corruptible.

he’s also so ??? perplexed by it all that one time he thinks a small disagreement means its over, and so he quietly and respectfully accepts it but doesnt think to ASK. oh you sweet summer slime ://///

tagged by:   @downpaths​ thank u!! :D

tagging:   @memoryfaded  /  @blossomingbeelzebug  /  @sailorvinus  /  @sadnessruns  /  @fasciinating​  /  &  anyone else who’d like to do this!! tag me and i’ll read it!  :^)

[citialiin]

FIVE SONGS

list five songs associated with your muse and its meaning to them as a character, or to you as the writer. this can be applied in-character or out-of-character. it can go as deep as looking at the song’s real-world origins or meaning along with the themes it carries to the muses’ story, values, or experiences, or as simple as if your muse would listen to this kind of music, or even if you just listen to these pieces for inspiration.

TAGGED BY: @dansiere​​, who did such a good detailed job they even included an “honorable mentions list” ? i am embarrassed to type mine out now TAGGING: @blossomingbeelzebug​​ @zhrets​​ @dirtyfilthysunshine​​ @prcphesise​​ @hyakiru​ @foxcharmed​

01. kaun komsott - ros sereysothea

this song actually lyrically has absolutely nothing to do with ziggy !!!!  kaun komsott /  កូនកំសត់ actually just means “poor/pitiful child” it’s just a khmer dub of a song from a taiwanese movie lol but i feel like this is the kind of music he would listen to that made him fall in love with, like ... humanity, as dumb as that sounds. it’s time period appropriate (late 60s/early to mid 70s), the song is really good and it’s SO emotional.  i could see him sitting in the apartment of his bandmates after being “found” and they teach him how to use the record player and he sits there going through each and every record they have and listening to this and its like the fucking scene in ratatootie where the goddamn rat can visualize tastes as colors but he would be so enamored with the song he would see it in colors or something i dunno.  something has definitely fucking happened to my brain because ever since nat and alex and i rewatched ratatootie we keep referencing it for our characters. anyways i ended up using an instrumental of kaun komsott in the final film i made as the song that plays during the end.  so this song just also means a lot to me because it’s part of how i made this character and the film/story i animated to go along with him, i am sure you are all absolutely sick of hearing me talk about it <3  

02. who can i be now - daveed booweyywywy now you found me, now can I be real?  can I be real? if it’s all a vast creation / putting on a face that’s new someone has to see / a role for him and me someone might as well be you

one of z’s most obvious character motifs is figuring out self identity through adopting different guises.  he markets himself as being so overly confident and almost arrogantly certain of himself -- rock god space idol whatever -- as his own way of learning who he thinks he might be underneath it all.  i think at first it started off a little innocuous, a ‘ fake it till u make it ’ thing at the least and maybe more obviously a ‘ im not a human so i have to pretend to be someone else ’ deal, but over time it became almost all consuming and just obliterated all his previously held sense of self in favor of some weirdly demented version of who he wanted to be.  683 starts off with the same core personality traits as ziggy: maybe he’s a little vain, a little selfish, but he’s very interested in creativity/self-expression and he wants to be thought of as a unique individual and appreciated for his differences.  but the difference is that 683 isnt an arrogant asshole who has no regard for other people in the slightest.  so yeah ... who can u be now ... is it worth it to adopt a different guise or should he go through the effort of figuring out what parts of his personality were corroded by human influence and what parts are genuinely him?  my big endgame thoughts for his story would be that he eventually just decides to retire from the public eye and fucks off entirely.  this would be over the course of a long long long time -- maybe he has a good 20 yr run in the industry -- but there are some things about him he has to deal with (mental health issues, drug addiction, also the fact that you’re a freaky alien creature who doesnt age like a human so you’re physically like 46 and you still look like you’re 25?) so he inevitably decides he doesnt need the horrible pressure of fame and he ought to just live his life for himself.  i think this would be a nice final song for him to sing/perform -- then he goes into the dressing room and cuts his hair and just vanishes. bye.

03. sunny afternoon - the kinks Help me, help me, help me sail away Well give me two good reasons why I oughta stay 'Cause I love to live so pleasantly Live this life of luxury Lazing on a sunny afternoon

1. i think this would sound A LITTLE like the kind of music he would write/play albeit i feel like his would be more exciting and have more samplings of like laser noises or pewpewpew or weird spaceship sounds BUT.  its also pretty time period appropriate.  even in “modern” verses ziggy is inexplicably obsessed with the 1970s, he likes bell bottoms and thinks groovy patterns are neat and he owns too many lava lamps.  anywayz. 2. just the general idea of feeling unfulfilled with luxury -- even if ziggy enjoys his fame and wealth and the absolutely insane amount of pussy/dick he gets at some level he is still cognizantly aware of how weirdly empty he feels.  he ditched atomina and came here because he felt unfulfilled and bored and unwanted.  now he feels wanted (clearly, everyone loves him) and he feels entertained (earth is So Good at fun distractions) but his fulfillment still isnt quite there.  he’s getting there -- but in exchange of being able to live this life of fame, he’s had to kind of change everything about himself and live this almost caricature version of himself, and he knows he cant keep it up forever.  the luxury will run out one day and he’ll be a washup and no one cares about celebrities once they stop being hip.  it is literally only a matter of time before ziggy has to find out who he is because no one can be a “rockstar” forever.

04. i hate jimmy page - mindless self indulgence SUCKAS CAN REACH OUT TOUCH ME EAT ME BITE DA FUTURE & FUCK DA PAST  I'm lower than most animals and fear what might be weird and all those voices in my head have every right to be there i ain't a girl just cause i rock the boat i ain't a boy just cause i rock your world

i mean he does hate jimmy page but that’s beside the point. its just a good song about being a crazy rockstar and has the same Craziness that i feel like accompanies his character ... just go listen to it you will understand. there is nothing to explain here.  even the lyric “ill show u how official midgets jack me off” like just accept it. it’s whatever  but yeah i aint a girl i aint a boy ... i guess his gender (or lack thereof) never really comes up in rp but its still an important part of his character.  if any of u guys ever call him a man in prose again ill kick ur ass.  gender is like an accessory to him and he just takes whatever aspects of masculinity/femininity he prefers and discards everything else.  to him he’s just as much a “man” or a “woman” as he is a “human” which is to say he isnt, at all, and he just pretends to be because he feels obligated to.  also ziggy’s brain kind of sounds like this...just Noises.  his brain sounds like a microwave that’s been going off for 26 years.  i think his brain is a single uncooked pinto bean rolled in glitter that’s been left in a box with a cobweb

05. ghostride - crumb daydreaming I stay in the backseat / the slow beat rocks me back to sleep keeps me on automatic  press my face up close against the glass i see the people when they pass they move so automatic you wake up when I go down / the radio reminds me I'm alive we've been hearing it all night

i care more about 683 on atomina than i do about ziggy on earth sometimes (BUT I CARE THEM BOTH. DO U?) so ... 683 feeling aimless and drifting but trying to find purpose through passion, a person, some sort of concrete meaning -- going through the motions of life makes him feel empty he spends almost every day going through the same toil while feeling guilty or like a burden and also feeling like he’s ultimately nothing more than a replaceable cog in a machine. his species had a near extinction = bottleneck which made them so genetically similar they’re almost clones of each other.  no one ever seems to do anything wrong except him, he finds no joy or fulfillment in anything at all.  all he ever wanted (which isnt a selfish desire at all) was to feel purpose, or feel wanted, or appreciated. inevitably he leaves because of his own imagination -- he yearns for something More, and he doesn’t know What, so he figured he ought to at least Try instead of waste his life away. also atomina is supposed to sound like “automatic.”  do NOT make fun of my bad scifi.  i am trying to mimic the way 1970s scifi is endearingly cheesy.  come here.  i just want to touch you with this knife.  gently tho it wont go inside of you. bro you are bleeding. bro we are bleeding and i keep putting the knife in your soft parts.

[lollytea]

What are your opinions about Jungle cubs? I loved that show as a kid!

hi hello!! thank u for humoring me!! i love getting asks about the stuff im currently obsessed with that nobody really cares about, it makes me feel valid! also i dont have well constructed opinions, i just have a very messy, manic head so i just babble all my thoughts. for that i am sorry 

im not gonna say jungle cubs is the best damn cartoon to hit the tv and maybe its just my own biased love speaking when i call it a good show but it means a lot to me personally. it brought me comfort as a little kid, i came back to it as a teen when i was feeling very alone and came back to it again as an adult just cuz of my recent love of baloo and talespin and needing something to keep me upbeat during the quarantine. 

and ive watched quite a few cartoons i loved as a kid that i dont really vibe with anymore. i tried rewatching gummi bears. its not my thing. but jungle cubs is?? really good?? its just so charming to watch. i love the expressive animation, i love the smooth flowing dialogue, i love the playful and naive tone it has of just a bunch of kids being kids, i love the depiction of these characters, i love the performance of the voice actors, i love the layers it adds to the original film. layers that were never intended to be in there in the first place but isnt that just the beauty of interpretation and ones own imagination. 

its such a formulaic concept isnt it. to take a classic show/movie and make its protagonists babies for a spinoff. but i dunno, i always got the feeling that whoever was the backbone of this story actually cared about the characters they were writing and took a sincere approach to it. 

they thought in-depth about how to devolve them from their current personalities in a realistic way and what aspects of themselves are so core to their being that they would have been ingrained since childhood. the cubs feel pretty three-dimensional and considering theyre cash grab spinoff babies, that is an amazing feat.

but also, i love it for the very very very simple reason of its really adorable. bagheera especially. to see such a stoic and levelheaded character in his earliest stage as a child just Hits for me. cub bagheera is clever, hes cautious, hes a little stuck-up, all traits he has in the movie. hes also not the best hunter, doesnt know how to roar yet, is a little cowardly, sorta awkward at times and is often trying to prove that hes the best even though hes aware that he is nowhere near the best.

like its easy to believe the kind of person he grows up to be but at the same time, its really interesting to see the more childish aspects of himself that he eventually matured past. and hes adorable dude! baby bagheera voiced by EG Daily is the sweetest goddamn thing, i love him so much 

also shere khan who is a fuckin doozy. hes very interesting in this too. everything about his attitude is reminiscent of a preteen who says mean things to you on voice chat while playing overwatch but if you tell him you’re gonna call the police on him, he starts panicking. thats shere khan’s vibe, a real edgy little tiger who thinks hes hot shit cuz he probably caught something bigger than a mouse like one time and its gone to his head. 

hes constantly stalking around, subtly bragging about what a natural predator he is. but at the same time, he’s still around?? hes still hanging around with the other cubs cuz hes ALSO a cub and likes to play around with other kids his age. and he fucking loves his friends. the amount of times he’s scared off bigger animals who were about to harm them. and its really sweet cuz they like him too. while his attitude is definitely annoying sometimes, they still consider him their friend and enjoy his company. its just wholesome. 

plus hes also pretty vulnerable as hes a cub. he doesnt stand a chance when they come across a grown animal as a threat. he gets scared just like the rest of them, hes just so arrogant that he never admits it. 

in fact the appeal of the show in general to me, is the vulnerabilities of all the characters that comes with being in their most immature state. they dont know any better when it comes to stuff. this show is real dumbass hours 

EVERYTHING about baloo is just great. he does not change even slightly. he is exactly the same except hes little and his voice hasnt broke yet. his child voice is amazingly fitting also.

i mean i guess one thing that differentiates him is adult baloo had some semblance of a philosophy. he was wise....in a way. baby baloo does not know shit about shit. he does not think. he just vibes, okay?? i love him mwah

i dont have much to say about the others but i DO like this interpretation of them more than their adult selves. it also just feels bittersweet that they grew up to be such dicks. Haithi is lovely, i love that hes just out here TRYING to be a colonel but he lacks the authority that comes with being a grown elephant and he doesnt have the self confidence to command anybody yet. he is simply babey.

 louie is a very cute little dude, i love him and baloo as just an idiot squad. he also has a very good voice

kaa.....i dont trust. on one hand, hes very sweet as a child but on the OTHER HAND he grows up to be the creepiest fucking creation disney has ever put in a movie so that snake will always rub me the wrong way even when im trying to like him. 

also ONE THING thats driving me crazy about this show is like. it has the best depiction of pre-adolescent boys that i have ever seen in a cartoon ever. just the way they behave. theyre sweethearts one minute, extremely mean the next minute, going from building eachother up to lightly bullying eachother, lots of unprovoked play fighting, laughing over dumb shit, rude to strangers for no goddamn reason, theres just a lot. 

it fuckin knocked me back like 15 years cuz it reminded me so much of kids i used to play with. and these arent even human children whose brain development is documented, these are animals, this show had no business being this spot-on.

i dont like season 2. it has a few gems here and there that i get a kick out of. but as a whole, its really disappointing. since the show swapped production companies, they seemed to uproot it completely and start from scratch. and its kinda sad cuz i think they were TRYING to do something poignant when it came to a future narrative but it just didnt land. firstly there was a huge animation downgrade and looking at the two season in comparison is kinda depressing. 

also they redesigned the characters, some looked worse than others. baloo looked fine but i still preferred his og look. bagheera....was the worst. rip bagheera. 

they all underwent a huge personality change. and not in the way that showed subtle maturity, i mean a vapid exaggeration of their original personality. the only characters who were left relatively alone in this regard were baloo and kaa. and i dont mind gradually changing a character since there IS an adult version of them that they should be growing into. but the season 2 depictions are literally the furthest things from their adult selves that its unbelievable.

 another pet peeve is they changed a few of the voice actors and.....i love these season 2 voice actors in other work theyve done. dee bradley baker and cree summer specifically who are both very talented people. but they did not fit these roles in the slightest. (not to mention having cree summer play an APE and suddenly having her do a LOT of monkey noises that the previous va never had to do. im not gonna get into all that BUT hmm.) and if youre gonna recast the characters to make them sound “older” as least make them sound somewhat similar to the jungle book actors, so you can picture them eventually growing into those voices. 

also the tone shifted so much between seasons. the way they tried to make this jungle more of a “society” with shit like talent shows and sports games and celebrities and like fuckin. STOP. theyre animals. just let them be animals. along with that the writing just feels really off and its just. not fun. i dont like it 

and as i mentioned, they WERE trying to do something here. the fact that the cubs didnt hang out with eachother as much and were starting to drift apart is kinda sad and wouldve liked it see it handled a little better. but instead i got season 2, which was stupid. and im 21 and im petty. 

anyway i am very sorry that ended so negatively and im very sorry that rant was completely all over the place i have no sense of proper organization i just wanted to gush about what i love. but on a positive note i love jungle cubs!! its very dear to my heart and makes me very happy and i wish it had gotten more episodes

[avani008]

For 5 headcanons, could you please write more about Kanta, Durdhara, or Bala with her husband Kumar Verma?

Kanta (previous here)

1. When Kanta returns from the mountains at last, it is her sister-in-law who she goes to see first. “Tread carefully,” the steward who guides her warns; “the Empress...the Empress-that-was is of course displeased. She’s thrown others from her chambers on the flimsiest pretext.”

Kanta frowns. “She’ll see me,” she says with quiet conviction, and the steward, ashamed, falls silent. 

Far from throwing her out, Draupadi throws her arms about Kanta’s neck. “It’s all right,’ Kanta soothes, even though Draupadi does not so much as sniffle into her shoulder. “I’m here.”

2. She visits her brothers next, their faces still so familiar. 

“It is good you came now,” Bhima says with terrible sarcasm. “In a day’s time, you might have missed us together; we are to return to the wood at the King’s command.”

Yudhisthira flinches, but Kanta doesn’t comfort him. 

“Tell me,” she says, “what must be done next.”

3. Mother Kunti blames herself.

“I promised the Princess of Panchal an empire when she wed my sons,” she mourns, “and look what she has now instead: a throne of twigs!”

“I promised myself to protect her as I would you or my brothers,” Kanta replies quietly. Her face betrays nothing, and yet Kunti’s gaze flickers anxiously in her direction.

“If I had been with her, Dushasana would not live to the results of his actions today,” Kanta whispers, guilt lending venom to her voice, and Kunti strokes her hair gently. 

4. “Will you go with them?” Mother--Radha, the first and best mother Kanta has ever known--asks, and Kanta shakes her head. 

“I have shared one exile with my brothers,” she replies. “I do not care to share another.”

“Then--” Mother hesitates “--you will wish to reside your royal mother?”

Kanta looks at her to laugh for what seems like the first time in entirely too long. “Dear one,” she says with real affection, “if I must wait fourteen years for the war that will be my revenge, who else might I do so than with you?”

5. Radha’s house does not put her in contact with the princes of Hastinapur very often, but neither does it protect her from them. At last the encounter Kanta has dreaded for decades is here; Prince Duryodhana stands before her.

“Come back,” he begs, in the same tone he once used to beg, Marry me. “Who are they to you, when we have meant so much to each other? Not enough that you didn’t run from them not a month after they wed, and stay away for fifteen years since.”

(He has not married, after all these years. She wishes she was not so aware of this fact, or that that familiar ache start anew in her chest.)

“And how long has it been since I ran from you?” she retorts, because it is always easier to be cruel. They will meet, sooner or later, or enemies on the battlefield; better that Duryodhana accustom himself to it now.

But he offers none of the sharp counters she remembers so well, and his eyes still follow her as she turns away.

Kanta despairs. 

Durdhara (previous here)

1. At last, Durdhara decides, Bhima is ready. He might never be the sort to pay polished comments or hold his tongue, but Durdhara calculates he might, after all, pass for a prince if one doesn’t look too carefully. 

“Very kind of you,” Bhima drawls when she tells him this, and Durdhara frowns. Sarcasm she hadn’t bothered to instruct him in, but naturally in this he would be a prodigy. With time, she might grow accustomed to it.

2. ...She does not.

But eventually the urge to strangle him for his stupidity ebbs, and Durdhara accepts this as the best she might expect. 

3. “I’ve helped you,” she pronounces, “now you must help me.”

Bhima, to give him his due, doesn’t pretend ignorance. But he does look quite alarmed and announce hurriedly: “I won’t kill anyone for you!”

Durdhara huffs with exasperation. “As though I would ask such a thing!”

(And she wouldn’t. Not really.)

Bhima’s face relaxes and brightens with curiosity. “What, then, did you have in mind?”

4. When Bhima sends her brothers tumbling from the trees, Durdhara hoots with laughter. 

“Serves them right,” Bhima tells her later, “for being so unkind to you--”

His eyes are dark with indignation; poor Bhima, beloved by his own brothers, has never known the cruelty that being her father’s disregarded daughter brings Durdhara daily. 

“So it does,” Durdhara sniffs, and pats his arm in thanks. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he replies gruffly. “You’re not alone now. You’ve me and my brothers instead.”

So she does. Durdhara tries--and fails--not to smile.

5. When she is twelve, her Uncle Shakuni comes to visit them. 

The rest of her siblings don’t know how happy Mother is to see him, come all the way from Gandhara, but Durdhara does; and while all her brothers and Dushala scatter to follow Yuyutsu on his latest escapade, Durdhara stays behind to sit by Mother’s side and listen to his stories. 

She likes Uncle Shakuni, who pays more attention to her than that maid’s son, unlike everyone else. She likes Uncle Shakuni who tells her she is worth a thousand of any other and looks at her with pride glinting in his steely eyes, unlike everyone else. 

He is the one who takes her aside and teaches her the foods most conducive to concealing poison: venison, wine, and sweet kheer. 

“Do you know how to make kheer, my child?” Uncle Shakuni asks, apropros of nothing. “No finer present you might make your father’s bastard to show him your love--with this spice, too, brought directly from Gandhara.”

Durdhara reaches for the vial, knowing exactly what her uncle intends. But it is true, too, that she wonders suddenly what Bhima might think, and what he would say, and how he would never understand after all. 

No harm in only keeping the poison safe for now, she tells herself fiercely; and who knows what tomorrow might bring?

Bala & Kumar Varma (previous here)

1. And then comes the day that the ministers begin to buzz with questions about an heir. 

Mother might wax lyrical about the joys of motherhood, the myriad wonders of pregnancy, but Bala takes no more than an instant to consider swollen ankles and an eternally upset stomach before she knows what her answer will be.

“The Prince Consort and I,” she says sweetly, “will choose an heir worthy of the throne ourselves.”

2. “A pity,” the Chief Minister says, shaking his head, “that the Princess Ambika will likely never bear a child. He should, of course, be the obvious first choice to consider.”

An image swims before Bala’s eyes, of a child cursed with Ambika’s unflagging enthusiasm and energy and Devasena’s reckless stupidity. 

Her heart stops at the very thought; “Yes,” she murmurs when at last she can speak without shuddering, “a pity indeed.” 

3. Every noble family in Mahishmati parades their children before Bala, and none of them meet with her approval. 

One is squint-eyed, the other too prone to swoon at the slightest sight of blood, and the last has a sense of fashion that even Ambika would scorn--she can hardly believe where they all come from. 

“You must choose eventually,” Mother says, and Bala tries her best not to make a face in her direction.

4. The queue of candidates becomes ever longer, but, sadly no more promising. 

Bala decides she’s had enough when she looks up to find: “Sethupathy?”

“I assure you,” he bows low, “that my heart is devoted only to the service of our noble country, and that I should be honored to call you ‘Mother.’” He bows again, and looks up at her with what he must suppose an expression of filial piety.

“Sethupathy,” Bala says, as gently as she can manage, “Sethupathy, you are older than I am.”

“So?”

5. When she comes across her husband in the gardens, Bala’s temper is understandably short. When he begins, “I have been putting great thought towards the problem before us--” her hopes sink.

“Surely, my dear,” she hastens, “there’s no need--”

“No, no, no!” He waves his hands in the air. “I have thought about it all. This is Vaishali,” he indicates the child who toddles in his wake. “She’s the daughter of one of Devasena’s old friends, while she and her husband lived, and has nowhere else to go.”

Bala sniffs. “There is no end of orphanages in the city,” she points out.

Kumar Varma ignores this in his enthusiasm. “But only think! If she is from Kuntala, none of your nobles could object, could they?’

True, Bala thinks, and studies the brat quickly. She’s quiet, which speaks in her favor, and well-dressed, which does just as well, and--

“What,” she asks, very seriously, “are your thoughts about learning to become a warrior worthy of the throne?”

The girl’s face brightens suddenly; she waves her arms about, not unlike Kumar Varma a few moments earlier. 

“SMASH!” she says, and Bala’s heart is full. 

[lillianwrites]

Sad Hearts And Black Eyes (chapter 3)

A/N: It took me so long, but the new chapter is officially here, hope you all enjoy!

Words: 3,524

When Daniel and Phil got back to the old motel, it was dark and cold outside, not a single person outside walking, hell, there was barely anyone in cars. Phil had told Daniel on the drive back his real name, and how he got into the hunting business, and surprisingly Daniel had took it well, whispering a small “Phil” in that voice that just drove Phil crazy. He didn't think daniel was aware of how attractive he really was, and that was amazing to Phil.

The motel beds were old and dusty as Phil sat down, it made a creaking groan under the pressure, but Phil paid no mind to that as he gestured to Daniel to the other bed, before pulling his phone from his duffel bag and dialing the number on his favorites.

“Whatcha need boy-” He heard Bobby say, the slur of his voice a familiarity to Phil.

“Bobby, i'm done in Kingston, i was working a case with a preacher getting killed by a demon, then this ghost showed up, heading after his son since the mother was dead and he was the only close relatives. Just finished this one up and i was hoping i could possibly head down there, visit and check in on a few things.” Phil said, getting up with a huff and beginning to pace around the small motel room. To his left, Daniel was looking through a book Phil had left sitting on the desk in the corner, it contained every known fact and legend on Wendigos, and how to hunt and kill them.

He heard Bobby sigh through the phone, and then the rough voice was saying “Boy you know damn well you are welcome here anytime. We got Dean, Sam, and Castiel down right now actually, and Ellen and Jo will be here by tomorrow, so you'll get to see everyone. Dean says he needs to kick your ass again.”

Phil laughed, happy to hear his family was there and he would get to see them. But something was keeping him from being excited, because Daniel was now a part of his life, and for whatever small reason, the thought of never seeing, or even just leaving Daniel for a day, scared him.And that scared him even more, he's never felt like this before, ad he wasn't sure what to do with the new feelings.

He looked over, to where Daniel Had put the book down and was now looking at Phil with a strange expression. God Phil had to be careful, he could get lost in the soft feature s of the boy, with his pretty brown eyes and permanent rosy cheeks, and wow he needed to answer Bobby.

“sounds great Bobby, i'm gonna pack up and then get some sleep. See you tomorrow morning, bye.”

The sound of the phones dial tone filled the air as Phil looked up again and met Daniels eyes, and Phil was positive there was sadness inside those eyes.  They looked at each other and Phil wasn't sure what to say, how to say bye, how to say anything at all. How was he to say goodbye to the person he only just got.Yet he couldn't say that, Daniel wasn't his, Daniel wasn't his to hold, kiss, or do other things that aren't so Hallmark channel friendly. Phil was confused on his next move, until he remembered a quote his old elementary school teacher had told him.

“Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, and i promise something great will come of it.”

“Come with me.” Phil said standing up and walking over to Daniel. Daniel looked at him, shocked and confused. “What? Where? What are you talking about Phil?” He asked looking up at Phil through those eyelashes, and yeah, Phil could live with having to protect him for the rest of his life, if it meant looking into those eyes forever, wow was he being lame.

“Come with me, i'll keep you safe, travel with me.” He said looking at Daniel, scared to what the boy was going to say, he was looking ta Phil with a strange expression, but he didn't look disgusted, so Phil was going to take that as a good sign, so he decided to continue.

“I mean, obviously just because it's dangerous out there for you now, i could protect you, you could come with me, you'd always have a place to stay, food to eat, and i would make sure you're okay. Plus, it gets a bit boring out here alone.” He finished. He was pacing now, looking at his suitcase, before looking back at Daniel, who was grinning in the slightest.

“Okay, yes god i'll go with you, but what will i tell everyone? Wouldn't it be suspicious?” Daniel asked, looking up at Phil before standing up, admittedly not adding much height, but better than being at Phils knees.

Phil thought for a minute before nodding “I'll talk to the police station, say i'm taking you to your close relatives, then we just leave, they won’t question me.” He said. He watched Daniel nod, so he said “Go ahead and pack.” before packing a few of his things, so excited but also scared that Daniel was going to be with him. It was unbelievable to believe he had caught emotions for someone who wasn't even trying, he wasn't wearing lingerie and calling him names, he wasn't offering sex or booze, he was just being Daniel, and god did Phil find that attractive. One could hardly blame him for wanting to bend him over the table an do blasphemous things to him. Yet Phil couldn't, he doesnt think he could be the one to ruin something so pure and soft.

Once the two were finished packing everything but the clothes for tomorrow, Phil headed over to the light switch, getting ready to turn it off, but Daniel was walking over, eyes nervous as he stopped in front of Phil. “Phil, could i know more about you? I'm kinda scared to just leave with someone when i've known them for forty eight hours, and only just learned their name.”

Phil wanted to just grab Daniels face and squish it, but he wanted to keep up his reputation, he was Phil Lester, strippers across the nation remembered his name, bartenders and cops, he's saved more people single handedly, than the entire FBI, why was he being a giant fucking sap over some barely not jailbait kid? What was he to do however? Half of him, the better part of him, wanted to see where this could go, see if this could crush could actually be something more than Phils dick talking, but the other part just wanted to shut it down, dont let it bloom because a flower could catch on fire, and turn into a wildfire so beyond controllable it hurts people. Phil didn't want to fall victim to that fire. Feelings were Phils worst attribute, he wasn't like Dean, he didn't have a brother to punch him when he was being an unsensibe

Phil wasn't sure what part to listen to, and he didn't know if he even had a middle ground, god this is what Bobby meant when he said they had as many emotions as a potato. Daniel was staring at him now, eyes brown and slightly untrusting, and god Phil never wanted to see Daniel afraid, most definitely not of him. Sighing he walked over to the bed and sat down, gingerly patting down the spot next to him. Maybe he could spare a few facts if it made Daniel happy.

“well, what would you like to know?” he asked, watching as Daniel slowly walked over to him and sat down. The boy paused for a moment, before saying “Why did you become a hunter?”

Phil forze for a second, not sure how he was going to explain the story. “When my dad died, i took over.” he said, hoping that was a good enough answer. Daniel nodded, before asking another question. “Why are you really letting me go with you?” This one however, Phil didn't know how to answer, sap or asshole, no middle ground. he waited another moment before saying “Look kid, if you stay here alone, you'll be dead meat. I don't wanna see you hanging off some tree dead, or with your guts on the floor. You wouldn't last a day now that monsters know you're out there.” He finished. Asshole it was.

Daniel paused, and Phil could see the shining in the boys eyes, most likely from the reminder of how his father died. Letting out a soft sniffle, Daniel nodded his head, getting up and heading to turn off the light before Phil heard the other bed creak, and then silence. Phil sighed getting under the covers, it was gonna be a long night for him.

____________________________________________________________________________

By the time 10:00am rolled around, Phil was exhausted, and Daniel was almost back to sleep, even after being woken up three times. The sun was beyond bright through the white curtains,and he was so tired he honestly didn't know if it would be safe to drive. He had stayed awake all night, wondering what was going to happen now, they would go to Bobby's, stay there for a day or two, find a hunt, and life would continue on, they would go on, and be normal, well except for Daniel, Phil would teach him how to deal with it, how to protect himself,but he would never ask him to hunt, Phil doesn't know what he would do if he got used to Daniel, only to have him ripped apart by the very thing that took every Phil seems to care about.

When Daniel finally rolled out of bed with a huff, Phil grabbed his duffel bag and went to the car, throwing it in the trunk, before going back into the room and and doing the same with Daniels suitcase. When he was finished, he walked in yet again, this time to Daniel stepping out, fully dressed, but with wet, curly, and unruly hair. He looked over at Phil, before putting on his shoes, and nodding at Phil, whispering a small “I’m ready.” before he was walking out of the room and to the car. With a sigh, Phil looked around the room, before joining him, to Bobby's they went.

____________________________________________________________________________

The drive was awkward, to say the least, they rarely spoke, but thankfully, Daniel liked the music Phil had on, so there wasn't a problem with just driving, riding, and listening. By the time they hit the junkyard he calls home, it was close to 12:00pm, and Phil could feel his eyes weighing down. He pulled the car in, smiling at the 67 Chevy Impala sitting next to them, if he hadn't had such a damn good car, he'd be jealous of Deans baby, alas his car was the best in his opinion, and nothing could convince him otherwise.

Phil opened his door, stepping out and wincing at the brightness, he heard the other door open and then close shut with a slam. Daniel stepped over, eyes scanning around, clearly nervous and unsure. Phil tried to tell himself it was the new surrounding and not being with Phil that made him hold that look.

Deciding he wanted to make amends, Phil held his hand out, trying to ignore the look he got before Daniels small and soft hand fitted into his. He heard him take a deep breath, before Phil was walking them to the door, and knocking with three hard thuds. He heard yelling in the house, before fast footsteps, and then dean was there in front of him, cat grin on his face as he immediately pulled Phil into a gigantic hug. “Whats up Philly?” He asked.

He finally pulled back, and realized there was someone standing next to Phil, looking awkward and scared, ready to run almost. He gave him a strange look, but before he could say anything, Phil was explaining, he really didn't need Dean asking questions with his fat mouth.

“This is Daniel, i helped him with a ghost problem yesterday, he's gonna ride with me for now on.” He said, not liking the look in Deans eyes, as he began to open his mouth however, they heard heavier footsteps, and then Sam was pushing Dean away, and Pulling Phil into an even bigger hug, and damn, when did he get taller than Phil? Daniel must have felt like a goddamn fairy compared to sam, and for all he knew, he probably actually did.

“Dean leave them alone,come in, Bobby's in the living room, calling the world a bunch of idjits again.” Sam laughed out, before leading them inside.

The house smelled like he remembered, like old beer and salt. They walked through the house and into the living room, where Bobby was sitting, staring at Castiel, who looked equally confused, you'd be surprised how often this actually happens. When Bobby and Castiel saw sight of them, they both stood up and walked over, Castiel letting Bobby go first. The last time he had hugged Bobby, he was worried he wasn't going to see him again,with everything happening with the apocalypse, he wasn't so sure either was going to see each other again, the world was going crazy, so he enjoyed the hug, and let himself close his eyes, taking in that all his family was still alive. Once Bobby let go, he shook castiel's hand ‘that strange angel’ before he was looking around to Bobby.

“Wheres ellen and jo?” He asked, looking at  the people around him. Bobby shrugged, looking at his phone. “They should be here by the hour, if not i'll call and make sure they're okay. Now, who is this?” He asked, looking at Daniel, who stood scared, arms crossed over his chest.

“He’s the pastor's son, Daniel, we've decided he's going to travel with me, i hope you don't mind him staying with me here, we’ll be heading off most likely by tomorrow, since i've been meaning to go see a old client for a while.” Phil said, smiling when Bobby nodded, holding his hand out to Daniel, who shook it awkwardly before offering a small smile.

When everyone had calmed down, they all sat down to watch some tv and chat, but by the time an hour had passed, Dean was getting up and walking over to him. “Hey man, can we go for a walk.” He asked, and when Phil nodded, they headed outside, leaving everyone inside. As they got out of the door, Phil became worried, because Dean didn't usually offer to talk, it was always sam, so dean must be worried about something.

____________________________________________________________________________

They had made it to the gate, before Dean finally said anything. “So, there's nothing happening, going on between you and that kid in there?” he asked, looking over at Phil. Phil shook his head. “I won't lie, i want there to be, but he's so young, and he's so innocent, i'm not that good at feelings. How do you date someone who knows a hellhound ripped your father shred to shred? He's just so different man, it scares me, i don't want to get close and have something happen to him.” Phil explained, letting out a sigh.

Dean nodded, placing a hand on Phils shoulder as he stopped walking. “Look, i suck at feelings, ask literally anyone, you know that, but what i will say is that kid looks at you for everything, maybe dont date him right now, maybe see if there's something there, and if there is, let it grow, but man, if you do like me, and you just ignore it, you'll regret it, i promise. Just don't be stupid okay?” and with that, the boys headed back inside. Phil Wasn't sure why Dean brought him out here, to have this talk, but if anything, maybe he was right, maybe in time this could be something, but first, he needed to know if there was anything.

____________________________________________________________________________

When Dean and Phil walked back through the front door, they saw castiel and Daniel sitting on the couch, Daniel Laughing and saying something to cas, While Bobby and Sam sat on the loveseat, handing each other cards.

Phil walked over to Cas and Daniel, Who paused their conversations to look up at him with smiles on their faces. “Daniel, could i speak to you for a minute please?” he asked, holding his hand out to daniel, who looked up at his through his lashes before taking his hand. Once Daniel was up, Phil was dragging him upstairs, to the second bedroom, where they were staying. The old furniture reminded Phil of when he would spend weeks here, a rowdy teenager sneaking out to go talk to the girls down at the drive in.

When the door was safely closed, Phil turned around, looking down at Daniel,at the way the boys chest rose, and the way his eyes seemed to flutter, almost too delicate for Phil to believe he was real. He stepped closer to the boy, the height difference becoming more prominent, but Daniel didn't seem to understand, as everytime Phil got closer, he would back up, eyes growing confused as his back met the wall, barely two inches separating his body from Phils.

Phil finally spoke up after a minute or two of staring at the boy and his lips. “Daniel, if you don't want this, you need to say something now.”

The look on Daniels face was something Phil swore he would see for a lifetime, the boys head fell back, exposing his pale neck, and his eyes fluttered shut,a soft sound falling from his lips before a breathy and soft “Please.” And god Phil didn't need anything else in this world.

With a newfound power he didn't even know he had, he had Daniel in his arms, his small legs wrapped around his waist, and his back slamming back into the wall. His mouth was on his, wet, hot, and powerful, and man if Phil didn't feel like a god with the noises falling from Daniels lips, almost like a prayer to the older man. He couldn't stop himself with Daniels tongue wrestling his own, the boy gave in so easily, so submissive, he’d let Phil do anything to him.

Slowly, Phil was backing up, spinning Daniel around, and then they were falling, Phil on top of Daniel as the soft bed encased Daniels back. Daniel was moaning, and Phils moth was making its way down, and god it was so good, Phil didn't know how he had survived, Daniel was pliant underneath him and Phil was sure this is what heaven felt like.

Phils mouth made its way down Daniels neck, and as he landed under Daniels ear, the boy let out a loud moan, he threw his head back, and suddenly he was speaking. “Phil ah, da- oh, please, please i need, hnng”

“what did you say Daniel, what didn't you finish?” Phil asked, smirking down at Daniel, he didn't expect that word to try coming out out the boys mouth, but he was not complaining. Phil watched as the Daniel let out a soft “Please.” before whispering “Daddy, please!” and who was Phil to deny someone so beautiful.

They continued to make out on the bed, their hips occasionally clashing, but soon enough Phil was panting into Daniels neck, kissing it softly before getting up. Daniel Made a confused noise, getting up to look at him, and how was Phil Meant to make this choice? But he knew what Dean said, he needed to wait a minute, needed to make sure he wanted this, that Daniel wanted this, it was just to early, they only just met, so with a sigh he began to speak.

“I think we need to think about this, about me, and you, and if either of us want that, and then we’ll talk, okay?”  He asked, watching Daniels face as it contotrered into sadness, into anger, and suddenly he was getting up, glaring at Phil.

“you have some nerve! You come in here, make out with me, and then all of a sudden, you're worried about thinking? I haven't known you long Phil Lester, but i can tell you thinking before isn't your forte so what the hell are you on about? I'm not a kid god! I can think for myself, i'm an adult, i wouldn't have said yes if i didn't want this!” He yelled, his glare getting harder as he stepped closer to Phil, angrily pointing his chest.

Wow, Phil was not expecting that from the usually quiet and submissive boy. He was expecting him to cry, and then gree, bit i guess that was daniel to prove him wrong.

“It's not happening Daniel, thats the end of it.” he finished, holding his face in a hard look, before turned around and walked out of the room, ignoring the sigh from behind him.

[choisgirls]

hihi! would it be out of the question to ask for a smart but silly mc? like an mc that people think is dumb because they like to show more than their intelligence? i've been struggling with finding a balance between the two so people will think i'm smart as well as funny. someday i will be both in the eyes of many but for now one of your lovely imagines/headcanons would make me very happy. i really love your blog! keep up the great work and i hope you have an amazing day!!!

A/N: Aaa thank youlove ;u; im really glad you like the writing!!! sorry i end up talking so muchbecause im trash™ but still!! it means a lot~(also i struggle with this alot? Just be whatever you’d like to be love! doesnt matter what others think~ ithink you’re amazing~ ^^)

like there reallyshouldnt be a need to hide your intelligence level, sweetheart. Being smartisn’t something to be ashamed of ^^ and if people cant handle it then well fuckthem they arent worth your time

Masterlist~

*YOOSUNG:

-Honestly you werepretty goofy, but he loved it!

-Always wants someoneto joke and play games with

-But one day he wasstressing over this big test he had and he just… couldn’t… understand themath problem??

-You walked in to himbanging his head against the coffee table- you had to throw your handunderneath him so he couldn’t do it anymore. He was gonna knock himself out ifhe kept doing that!

-When you asked himwhat’s wrong, he’s starting to slowly get harder and harder to understandbecause he’s about to cry- but you’ve got to calm him down and wait until hecan tell you clearly

-You sit him down andlook over the problem. Internally, he’s panicking because? Oh no? He can’tunderstand it, would looking at it upset you?

-When you wrote thesteps and answer down, he looked at the paper and had to blink a few times. Youdid it! You did it correctly, too…. how?

-Didn’t want to berude because you were amazing and smart in your own way! But? You just…answered this seamlessly, how?

-You explained to himthat you’ve actually got a pretty good grip on your math skills- you tend to bethe highest in any of your math classes and you’re always willing to help himfigure it out

-You could easily havea degree in mathematics and he can never look at you the same way again. His carefree,sometimes oblivious s/o is also really smart. How did he not see it before?!

*ZEN:

-He’s smart but to adegree- definitely wouldn’t tell you with confidence that he was book smart

-Knows more streetknowledge, but he can hold his own in the schooling department

-Who is he kidding, hehas a dinosaur for a computer.

-So even if you werealoof, it wouldn’t bother him in the slightest~

-But one day, in thechatroom, Jaehee and Jumin had started to talk about business and profits

-Behind the screen, theboth of you were sitting together as he started to complain to you that he hadno idea what they were saying

-So you took time toexplain it all while he stares at you in disbelief

-When you start to getself-conscious of the fact he’s staring at you and saying nothing, he tries toassure you that it’s not a bad thing, he just didn’t know that side of you!

-Honestly I don’tthink it would change the way he thinks about you, he’s fine with both sides ofyou!

-If anything, he’shappy he has someone to explain a few things he may not get at first

*JAEHEE:

-She likes the sillyside of you because she’s always so serious

-Or she at least justappears that way to people, in reality she’s silly just like you are

-Just…. more privateabout it than you are! You’re more open about being carefree and silly~

-Sometimes you remindher of Saeyoung which is okay but sometimes it gets out of hand and she worriesabout you

-Like… you can holdyour own, right? You aren’t… always oblivious, are you? Please tell heryou’re aware of your surroundings, at least

-She’s watched youwalk away from lunch and have to run right back because you forgot your walletthere. She’s counted- it’s been 13 times now

-But apparently you’rejust.. forgetful?

-Because she’s watchedyou spit out fraction conversions when the two of you are baking together

-You can mess around,get flour all over you, and turn red and giggle while she dusts off yourcheeks, but the second she asks you to double the amount of brown sugar, you’reimmediately throwing out the numbers

-Sometimes she throwsconversions at you when you’re being extremely goofy and she just wants to makesure you’ve still got it

-She likes both sidesof you, she doesn’t see why you tend to hide one but she won’t pressure you toshow one more than the other

*JUMIN:

-Constantly remindingyou to calm down

-There are times thatyou need to be serious and you just aren’t

-It doesn’t bother himor anything but sometimes he’s tired of hearing others get so worked up aboutit

-Because it’s none oftheir business? He loves how carefree and fun you can be

-It’s a nice change ofpace compared to how he’s basically a piece of stale bread most of the time

-He lets himself getsilly around you, though, because you’ve unlocked that privilege~

-When someone came upand had told him that you were practically as dense as concrete, he stood upand was ready to defend you in a heartbeat

-Except you just satback, looked them in the eyes, and with a vast vocabulary of high end and*ahem* choice words, you told them it was none of their business how youdecided to act and maybe they should take a breath and calm down themselves

-Which left both themand Jumin in shock, because you brought up their numbers and stock dropswithout even blinking an eye in their direction

-So you /could/ beserious when you wanted! That was good to know, maybe he should try to provokeyou every now and again, see how serious you really could be?

*SAEYOUNG:

-Everyone thought hewas silly??? They didn’t know the /both/ of you

-Though everyone alsoknew how smart he was, you, on the other hand….

-He knew yourbackground and he knew what you’ve accomplished with your intelligence

-So he knew how smartyou could be, and he wasn’t positive why you decided to hide it

-One day, he’s tellingeveryone about this new program he was adding to the app, but was too excitedto explain it in words everyone could understand

-Taking the liberty totranslate, you not only explained it in simpler terms, you also kept spittingwords no one could understand while you asked for more details from Saeyoung

-And in all honesty,sometimes he has you type up some of his coding so he can take a break and eatmore chips

-When you /told/ himto rest but you know how he works, so he just sits and watches you

-Is always in awebecause you really don’t come off in this light- you just like to have fun andmess around

-But you know what hasto happen now right? Always place bets and play trivia games against everyoneelse, that’s what

*JIHYUN:

-Yes, dear god, becarefree with him

-That’s one of hisfavourite personality traits- being silly and just running through life

-Doesn’t even care ifyou seem naive, he’s sure you’re smart in your own way

-Like maybe in a deep,philosophical way! He can dig it

-Honestly, he isn’tone to judge someone based off of intelligence so you could have the IQ of agoldfish but if you’re rich in personality and love then he’s completelysmitten

-On the other end ofthe rainbow, he’d be completely okay with it if you were smarter than him,again just…. doesn’t mind

-So if you’re thissilly and carefree and are /also/ super smart then just /WOW/ he doesn’t knowhow to really react

-He just wants you tofeel comfortable enough to be yourself, not to hide a whole half of yourself

-If you’re smart thenbe smart! If you’re goofy, be goofy! You’re both? Sweet! Show it! There’s noshame!

-He has questionsabout anything? Immediately asking you so you know that he cares about everyaspect of you, not just one

*SAERAN:

-God just fucking stop

-Honestly he canhandle a little bit

-But if you’re to theextreme of his brother he can’t always handle you and just wants you to hush

-Also really concernedfor you though? Like you aren’t aware of yourself or your surrounding a lot

-I mean come on hetalked you into going into someone’s apartment, you were not the most cautiousperson

-Not to mention youthought it would be a good idea to, oh I don’t know, go poking around in thebusiness of a cult

-Really he thought youwere an idiot but he still for some reason loved you so here you two are now

-Though the first timehe fell asleep at the computer around you and woke up to his code finished, hewas surprised

-Then he was…amixture of angry and surprised because why didn’t he know about your secretintelligence and why didn’t you tell him

-He could’ve used youas an assistant ages ago while he was in Mint Eye if he had known! But nnoooyou had to go and hide it

-Encourages you to letyour intelligence show more often because there isn’t a need to hide it in thefirst place, it doesn’t change who you are inside

[leekycauldron-blog1]

Moment of Madness

feel free to send requests HERE

Summary: History of Magic is mind numbing enough to send anyone into madness. And so when Draco decides to allievate his boredom by sending passive aggressive messages to Harry across the desks, Harry finds that Draco isnt always as bad as he seems. That’s until he is.

(A/N: The messages sent between Harry and Draco are the sentences in italics)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

Warnings: Swearing

Wordcount: 2.9k

Surviving a class on barely 4 hours of sleep is difficult and Harry’s sure that sitting through two and half hours of Professor Binns drone on about the great Giant Wars of the nineteenth century is even more difficult to survive than any other class. In fact, Harry’s not even sure he can survive because the fact that these wars ‘are a prime example of bellicose conflict which hold a significant place in the history of the Wizarding World’ doesn’t seem nearly as important to Harry as it should do given the fact he’s about to be sitting his O.W.Ls in a few months’ time. But Harry can’t find it in him to care, not when the Professor’s monotonous voice is enough to make his eyelids heavy and there’s no way he can take notes when the words blur on his page.

Usually, Harry would spend History of Magic lessons playing hangman on the corner of his parchment with Ron beside him; no one could see, they sit at the back of the class room and Professor Binns is so caught up in the textbook that he most likely wouldn’t look up even if someone dropped dead in front of him. Harry finds mild amusement in that thought since everyone knows Professor Binns wasn’t even aware of his own death when he woke up one day and began teaching as a ghost – what Harry would give to feel that blissfully oblivious.

The professor’s words have started to slur together as Harry’s mind gets more distant, his eyes closed now as he rests his head on his arm, his head tilted to the side so that if the professor weren’t to look up, he wouldn’t see that Harry was asleep. Because he’s falling asleep and his eyelids are so heavy he couldn’t bear to keep them open anymore; it’s so relaxing, so relieving, so-. Harry’s thoughts of just how comfortable he’s feeling right now are halted by the sound of parchment fluttering on the desk beside him. Assuming Ron has finally awoken and decided he wants to play hangman now, Harry begrudgingly opens his eyes, slightly annoyed that he couldn’t rest for longer but he supposes it’s for the best.

Except Ron’s breath is still heavy beside him and Harry notices that perched on the side of his desk, just next to where his head had been, is a small origami bird. Three guesses as to who that’s from, Harry thinks to himself with a roll of his eyes; he doesn’t even bother to look in Malfoy’s direction as he reaches out to open the note. He’s certain it’s from Malfoy, he’s sent a note like this once before and besides, Harry can feel his eyes on him from the desk to his right but he ignores it, unfolding the note without even a glance in that direction.

bored potter? lets hope old binns doesnt notice… would be terrible to see someone as precious as ‘the chosen one’ get detention.

Harry practically fights the urge to bang his head on the desk from irritation. He’d been waiting for Malfoy to pick up on all the ‘Chosen One’ shit the Prophet had been spouting off, now he has to put up with that prick’s incessant teasing on top of the rest of the school whispering every time he walks past. Brilliant. Harry scrunches up the piece of parchment and shoves it in the pocket of his robes, refusing to even acknowledge Malfoy with the hopes that he’d direct his boredom on to someone else.

Another piece of parchment levitates onto his desk and Harry sees it’s not folded in some obnoxiously fancy origami figure this time, instead folded messily into a square just small enough for it to not be noticed as it quickly flies across the gap in between their desks.

so we’ve taken to ignoring people these days have we? Is the chosen one above all of us commoners now his face is plastered all over the daily prophet every day?

Harry scowls at the message as he reads it – no but I’m definitely prone to ignoring self-righteous arseholes like you, Harry thinks to himself but he doesn’t write it. He contemplates even writing anything at all but knowing Malfoy, he wouldn’t stop sending them until Harry rose to the bait and Harry was already hooked on. He was too tempted to retort that he just couldn’t refuse.

sounds like you spend a lot of time reading about me in the prophet malfoy. Im flattered honestly.

Harry scribbles the message on the same bit of spare parchment that Malfoy wrote on before, his handwriting noticeably messy underneath the other boy’s near-perfect words. That’s typical of him, Harry thinks. As much as he dislikes the boy, Harry can’t deny that practically everything he does is as near to perfect as you can get – perfect test scores, perfect handwriting, perfect fucking uniform (there’s never a button undone or tie slightly out of place). And no, it’s not like Harry pays attention to that, of course he doesn’t, but it’s hard to not notice it. Mindlessly, Harry flicks his wand slightly to levitate the parchment back to Malfoy who’s eyes seem to light up just at the fact he’s got a response, Harry notices the way his mouth curls into a sly smirk as he reads the words and picks up his quill.

you wish potter. I think you’ll find I spend half my mornings trying to avoid seeing your face on everyone’s newspapers. shame I have to see it so much in real life.

A roll of his eyes is Harry’s initial response as he dares a look in Malfoy’s direction, excepting him to have that familiar snarl on his face but he’s not even looking over at Harry. Instead, he’s feigning interest in the class and Harry almost admires the way he’s able to pretend to know what’s going on so easily – Harry knows that he himself looks lost in most classes at the best of times.

Harry chews the bottom of his lip as he contemplates the best way to get under Malfoy’s skin, he thinks he prefers this to shouting in the corridors, there’s more time to really think about what he’s going to say. In the end he decides that the best way to really get to the boy beside him is to act as though he doesn’t care, act disinterested because one thing he knows about Malfoy is that he loves knowing his words are getting to Harry and Harry isn’t going to give him what he wants.

hm okay then.

Malfoy puts the parchment down on the desk beside him after he’s read and Harry has to supress a smirk as he watches the blond from the corner of his eye. There’s nothing he can say to that. Harry essentially just ended the conversation in three words but Harry also knows that it’s not going to be over because Malfoy won’t let Harry think he’s got the upper hand. He watches as the boy picks up his quill hesitantly, unsure as to whether replying will make it seem as though Harry won or if ignoring will make it seem like Harry won. Harry thinks it’s a win-win either way for him but Malfoy obviously thinks otherwise as he’s put the quill down now and his wand flicks the parchment back to Harry.

besides, my family have been in the prophet HUNDREDS of times. you’re not special.

It’s bizarre to Harry how predictable Malfoy is to him, he could have put money on Malfoy bringing his family into this at some point – the stuck-up prat can’t stop himself from showing off – except Harry wouldn’t ever waste his money. Harry doesn’t respond this time, he just leaves the note on the desk and directs his gaze to the front of the classroom. But Harry can practically feel Malfoy’s irritation radiating off of him, he’s hyper-aware of the glares that keep being shot in his direction before yet another piece of parchment lands beside him.

don’t ignore me

Just two more minutes before another lands.

potter

Merlin, he really is feeling particularly annoying today, Harry thinks as he decides to play up to Malfoy’s need to get his attention. Harry lets out a yawn, it’s completely fake because since they’ve started sending these notes Harry’s woken up significantly. Nonetheless, he rests his head on his arm again, his eyes fluttering closed the same as earlier, before parchment lands on his desk again. Although not before it hits his face causing his eyes to fly open, they meet Malfoy’s gaze as he stares back in amusement. Amusement. Harry doesn’t think he’s witnessed that emotion on Malfoy’s face, usually it’s disgust or anger or some other negative word that is associated with the boy. And Harry’s not entirely sure when this exchange became a little friendlier than usual but it certainly feels that way.

POTTER STOP BEING FUCKING LAZY!

Harry’s lips curl a little at the edges as he reads that message, noticing the slightest hint of a smile on Malfoy’s lips as well. Not that the note was particularly funny, they just both know Harry wasn’t really asleep and they both know that the attempt at acting so failed miserably.

are you really that bored that you’re resorting to literally throwing insults at me on pieces of spare parchment?

Harry notices the way Malfoy very-nearly-almost-but-not-quite laughs at the message and Harry also notices that he very-nearly-almost-but-not-quite feels happy about that fact before he snaps himself out of it because he doesn’t like Malfoy. Of course he doesn’t. It’s just strange to have this new dynamic where they aren’t actively telling the other they hate them – it’s strange and it’s only because they have no one else to talk to.

yes I am really that bored so humour me. if you’ve got anything better in mind I’d be happy to hear your suggestions. only if it doesn’t involve sleeping. or ignoring me. because we already established you can’t do either of those things

Harry has to tear a new bit of parchment now, the previous one is full from the notes and so he hurriedly writes a response. A response that maybe isn’t a peace offering in the slightest, in fact, it’s far from it but Harry’s decided he’s not in the mood to spark up another argument right now given how tired he is.

how about not arguing? it seems pretty ineffective trying to do it on a piece of parchment. not the same when I cant hear how much your voice infuriates me

Malfoy smirks at his parchment as he reads Harry’s response, not even hesitating to think before he starts to write and Harry mentally kicks himself at the fact he’s probably writing a spiteful response; telling Malfoy not to do something is probably the exact same a leaving a slab of raw meat in front of a werewolf and hoping they wouldn’t eat it – impossible to resist. So much for the not-so-peaceful peace offering.

infuriates you? and here i was thinking you get all red and flustered because you think im sexy not because you’re angry. shame.

Harry’s blood runs cold as he reads the words and he’s sure it’s clear on his face, the way his features drop instantly. Yes, Harry’s gay, he’s known that fact for a while now and really only a select few people know; those select few consisting of only Ron, Hermione and Sirius. But- but Harry can’t stop his heart from speeding up because is this Malfoy’s way of telling him that he knows his secret? That would be a disaster, yet another insult for him to throw around. Fuck, what if he told everyone? What if Draco fucking Malfoy was the one who outed Harry Potter to the rest of the Wizarding World? The thought sends shivers down Harry’s spine. And maybe as a gay man, Harry can appreciate the fact that Draco Malfoy is really bloody attractive and if he wasn’t such a dick he might even go as far as to say he’s beautiful but the fact is, there’s no way Malfoy could have found out about this. Harry’s overreacting, he knows deep down that what Malfoy said was nothing meaningful, just a few words scribbled down in the spur of the moment and Harry tries his best to calm himself from his panic as he responds.  

fuck off malfoy

Malfoy responds in literally a matter of seconds, no less than a minute.

there we go! told you its easy to argue this way. anyone would think its true given how defensive you’re getting

It’s not true. Not true whatsoever. From an objective standpoint, Malfoy is attractive – anyone would admit that he is. But that doesn’t mean Harry gets flustered around him, it certainly doesn’t mean Harry thinks of him as sexy. But when he glances over to Malfoy, the blond catches his gaze with a teasing wink meant only to annoy Harry but Harry… well, Harry is mortified at the way his face seems to heat up, his stomach swirling and Merlin, what is Malfoy doing to him? Harry drags his gaze away and back to the parchment, a feeling of absolute discomfort settling at the pit of stomach because he can’t quite believe his own emotions and how the hell did a few passive aggressive notes lead to Harry being so confused?

no you’re just irritating. shut up.

Once Malfoy’s finished writing, Harry is almost one hundred percent certain he hears a small chuckle from the desk beside him. He briefly decides that he really enjoys that sound, more than he probably should, and there’s yet another blush creeping onto Harry’s cheeks. This needs to stop now. He needs to get the hell out of this classroom, away from Malfoy until he’s feeling sane enough to hate the boy again.

relax potter. Im not gonna shout out to the whole class that you fancy me

I DON’T FANCY YOU!

Harry flicks his wand slightly more urgently than he has been before and Malfoy notices because he’s practically beaming with satisfaction – that dick is loving this, Harry thinks.

ok potter whatever you say

And when he reads Malfoy’s reply, his shoulders tense along with his jaw because Malfoy is so irritating and infuriating and so Harry writes the first two words that enter his mind.

fuck you

yes potter, I already know you want to fuck me. I found that out when I decided that you fancy me.

As arrogant as Malfoy’s response is, as inexplicably annoying his smirk is from the corner of Harry’s eye, Harry finds himself letting out a snort of laughter as he reads the message. And Harry isn’t sure he finds the joke about fucking the funniest or the fact that Malfoy has apparently ‘decided’ that Harry fancies him but it’s more relief than anything because Malfoy doesn’t know he’s gay, Harry knows that for sure now. The last sentence confirmed the fact that Malfoy was talking shit for the past ten minutes. Feeling significantly more relaxed than before, Harry picks up his quill.

you’re such a-

“Mr Malfoy, Mr Potter!” Professor Binns’ voice echoes around the room and Harry’s head shoots up from looking down at the parchment so fast he’s surprised he didn’t get whiplash. People’s heads are turning now, eyeing them both carefully and as Harry glances at Malfoy, he notices the way his cheeks are tinted with the slightest shade of pink – Harry’s sure they’re both thinking the exact same thing; how fucking embarrassing for them to both be mentioned in the same sentence in front of the whole class. “Clearly you think passing notes in the back of my class important enough to not pay attention… perhaps you’d care to read them to the rest of the group?”

Harry shakes his head, his heart speeding up a little because there’s no way Ron would ever let him live it down if he heard what they’d been writing. He’d no doubt be questioned about this later in the common room anyway and he supposed he could just pass it off as Malfoy sending childish drawings again but that couldn’t happen if Ron knew the truth, he’d have reason to make fun of  Harry probably until the end of term. “No Professor, it’s not important. Sorry.”

“Very well but I expect to see you both in detention after class.” Harry merely nods in response, quickly scrunching up the parchment and stuffing it into his robes with the rest of the pieces; he’d definitely Incendio those tonight. Ron is shooting a questioning stare at Harry, one eyebrow raised as he waits for an explanation that Harry certainly can’t give now he’s under the watchful stare of the Professor. Instead he shrugs his shoulders, almost a way of telling Ron that Malfoy was being typical Malfoy without using words and Ron gets it, shooting a quick scowl over Harry’s shoulder at Malfoy before resting his head back down to sleep.

“Nice going, Potter.” Malfoy whispers with a sharp hint of malice on his tongue and Harry rolls his eyes, acting as though he didn’t hear a word otherwise. This is better, this is normal. Harry thinks he’s never going to get that friendly with Malfoy again and he is completely okay with that fact. Completely okay with the idea of repressing whatever the hell felt for the Slytherin on the desk beside him for the rest of life; this was a moment of madness, he decides, utter madness.