#he said he had covid here and look at him lol i hate him

[bennpadgley]

Penn Badgley on Instagram

[stormblessed95]

who hugged me tightly

only you

who protected me

who only protected me

who held my hand

who held my hand tightly

who reached out to me

who reached out to me

who held out his hand

To you who looked at me greatly

🔗 https://twitter.com/jaksal_5813/status/1639683901571620865?s=46&t=6h2FRfv41Qg9RyUk25oCZQ

Such a beautiful song. I hate that it's only on CD. JIMIN YOU SAID ITS FOR FANS, GIVE IT TO ME SO I CAN STREAM IT THEN PLEASE?!

Here is my original post over Letter too, that I'll stick by what I said there and just add onto it in this post for now too:

During his live stream for FACE, he breifly mentions Letter, which the trans for that is here

The way I'm side eyeing the heck out of the way JKs involvement in this song is being completely ignored by BOTH OF THEM. LOL don't gatekeep please. Share with us!

Honestly the fact that it's named letter because he sat down and wrote his feelings out into a letter and then roughly transformed that into lyrics for a song and it turned out so beautifully. It's because Jimin is a GENIUS and he emotes so sweetly and his EQ is insane and translates so well. And so him just pouring his emotions into paper would of course turn into such a softly stunning song like Letter. 😭 he repeated many times that he emphasized honesty in this album, including letter. And that comes off so sincerely every time you listen.

It's a fan song, yes. It's also... more in my opinion. Because things can be more than just one thing. It's also interesting that the majority of Letter lyric wise is written in a more formal tone/language and uses honorifics. But when the bridge hits, aka when JK joins in for the more heavy backing vocals, the lyrics drop the honorifics and use more informal language from what I've heard. And with the call and receive way the backing vocals answer Jimins main ones, it almost sounds like they are talking to each other there, rather than the fans. Jimin is always so formal and polite and kind when he speaks to us. And jikook often over do the formalities when they talk, or they drop them totally. Which is a consistent habit of theirs. So could the last part of the song be more for themselves? Maybe. Could it still just be for ARMY? Maybe. Could it be for both? Maybe. Regardless, Jimin said it's a song for the fans and JK made it very clear that everyone had always known that he is hyungs biggest fan

Letter IS a love letter. To multiple people I believe. JK being one of them. And I think it was a really really amazing and sweet way to end the album. Hidden in the ending of Like Crazy, after all the emotions and pain and hurt and confusion he went through over the last few years dealing with everything the world went through and they themselves adjusting to a new future.... things like having to quarantine alone for 2 weeks everytime they returned to Korea... getting covid and then having emergency surgery at the same time and having to recover in a quarantined hospital room alone. Facing the upcoming changes for the band in chapter 2 and the uncertainty that came with it. And more. Yet there is still this uplifting and positive emotion that we find ourselves in at the end. Letter feels like love and safety and that feeling of coming home after a really long hard day. It feels like peace. And I like to think that Jimin is expressing those emotions through that song. He finds peace, love and safety in the end. He feels the happiness of being home and embraced. He feels that love from ARMY. And with his choice to include JK in that song, it's like he is saying he feels that peace and love in Jungkook too. That's his home.

LMAO and I have to end with the way he scolded us for uploading Letter everywhere anyway lmfao so cutely. He literally wagged his finger at us!

But the way he said it he saw it ALL. Man if he typed letter in either English or Hangul into the search engine, half the videos that pop up are jikook edits to the song. I know he saw those! 🤣 HE KNOWS YALL, I KNOW HE KNOWS 😅

Anyways, amazing song. I shared it with my non army friends and they were also obsessed. Jimin sounds heavenly on it. I will never stop asking for an official streamable verison of this song. We waited so long for Promise. I'll wait for Letter too!

Editing super quickly to add this clip of Jimin singing a snippet of Letter live to an ARMY on the FaceTime fan meeting calls 😭😭😭

[slayerkitty]

BL/QL Ask game : The Ugly, the Bad and the Worst

Thanks to @clara-maybe-ontheroad and @twig-tea for tagging me!

The categories are :

Worst soundtrack / weirdest song choice in a BL: Oh man. Um. It might be the song that plays at the beginning of Wedding Plan, during Prapai and Sky's wedding, Battle of the Hymn Republic.

Most cringe-inducing line (cute): "Do you like grilled fish?" Pharm to Dean in UWMA, after they almost kissed, while standing in an aquarium.

Most cringe-inducing line (actually bad): "Keep looking at me like that and I'll kiss you til you drop," Wat to Tine, 2Gether. This line wouldn't be nearly so cringe-y or bad if said kissing had actually happened. It could've been hot. Instead it ends up feeling silly.

Most stupid decision made by a character: Pharm's grandfather/Korn's father keeping the loaded gun Korn and In used on themselves in what looks like a cookie tin-like box on his bookshelf for 30 years where anyone (*ahem* Pharm *ahem*) could find it.

Worst plot line: Chains of Heart - Din as Lue kills the man who tried to kill him and Ken years ago and instead of having a conversation with Ken about why he took on a new identity and pretended to be dead, etc, HE JUST LEAVES AND THEY NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

The most problematic show you've watched: Tharntype.

A show people love but you find bad: Tharntype.

A show people find bad but you will defend: Bed Friend. For all it's issues, it's themes around trauma, sex and mental health were amazingly well done.

A show that is just objectively bad but you enjoyed it: Unforgotten Night. It's awful. It's also campy and unpredictable in places and there's a m/m/m threesome, so...

A bad show that you kept watching because you were intrigued/fascinated: Chains of Heart. Something about it hooked me though it's not a well done show, lol. Plus it spawned our Chains of Confusion weekly chats, which I loved.

A bad show that you kept watching because you were horny: Why R U? It turned into a fanservice sexfest toward the end (thanks, Covid) but I can't even be mad because Zee and Saint went for it and I respect that.

A bad show that you kept watching because of that one character: Dinosaur Love. I watched for the chemistry between the mains and Chalarm.

A bad show that you would still recommend: Ummm... this is complicated because I think it would depend on who was asking. If it's a show with tropes I know the person asking would like, I would maybe recommend it with the caveat that it's bad, LOL.

The character that ruined a show the most: Pluern-Plang from Together With Me. Oh, I don't even know where to start with her. Also, Dr Bright, same show. UGH.

Most awful character that you hated: Uea's mother in Bed Friend. I actively wanted her to die and that is just not who I am.

Most awful character that you loved: Vegas, KinnPorsche. Oh, I have complicated feelings about him but overall I loved his character for just being evil and unapologetic.

A character that wasn't awful but that you just don't like: I couldn't think of an answer for this, LOL.

A hero that should have been a villain: Joke, Hidden Agenda. He should have been a stalker.

A morally bad character you're into: Literally every character in KinnPorsche, pretty much. I love them all. Morals? Those characters don't know her.

A morally bad character you're not into and you wish people would stop being into: I also couldn't think of an answer for this one. One will probably come to me later, LOL.

The show that disappointed you the most: Hidden Agenda. I am still feeling that burn. Chains of Heart also goes here. I still like both of them, I just had higher hopes for more.

The Worst Show of Them All Because of Your Own Reasons: Tharntype.

[anexperimentallife]

So we had to report someone after they posted a picture of El and me along with a long, totally unhinged (and wildly inaccurate) rant, @'d @thesurestthing and me, and sent dms to both of us, both the post and dms being about what horrible people we all are, how disabled people are just lazy, how anyone who has to ask for help after being hit with too many unexpected emergencies in a row is a terrible lazy person, that interracial relationships are bad, how I'm going to die soon, etc...

Oh, and how they they HOPE Zoey and El suffer for the rest of their lives after I'm gone, and how Zoey will be begging for help forever because she's useless.

So... Monday here.

Also, they claim Zoey is just my girlfriend (she's my wife), they didn't know she's from the US, and opine that it's my fault my youngest son died in his twenties of pneumonia (which according to them he did to himself--while I was a thousand miles away--but it's somehow still my fault) and my fault that my older son shot himself after refusing attempt after attempt from myself and others to get him to accept help for his bipolar disorder. So yeah, thanks for using the deaths of my sons to attack me. Shows a lot of class.

Also, they claim Zoey is a terrible mother, has no drive, and no skills (despite her being an excellent mother, earning a college degree while she was still in high school, and despite ONE of the reasons we're going back--in addition to me needing medical treatment--being for her to work and get a higher degree), and apparently we should both be working here even though we're not legally allowed to (because, again, disabled people are just lazy and we should also risk imprisonment, because THAT would be responsible)?

Somehow, they're also very concerned for Zoey and El despite outright saying they HOPE El and Zoey suffer?

Just completely off the rails, unhinged ranting.

They didn't even get the timeline right. I was autistic with ADHD and head and spine injuries before we found out (during the Philippines STRICT lockdown) that we were having a baby, and at that point I'd just gotten contracted for the licensing fee, which we had every reason to believe (based on the longevity of the company's other properties) that it would gp on for basically as long as I was game m--so it LOOKED like smooth sailing ahead. (That contract was the only reason we stopped being so careful to avoid pregnancy, too.)

So yes, I was disabled when we got pregnant with El, but in a stable way at that point. It wasn't until AFTER we found out about the pregnancy that I got covid three times that my health started scarily declining. THAT was when all the scary stuff with my eye and heart and feet and face started. But apparently we're horrible for... not knowing that was going to happen?

Thing is, if the company that was paying me a licensing fee to turn my first-sold story into a game hadn't canceled the project one year in with zero notice (while we were still paying for El's birth), if El hadn't had a mistake on her birth certificate that left her stateless and took almost two years to resolve, and if I hadn't gotten COVID three times, we'd be okay financially. We wouldn't have had to ask for help with El's legal stuff or my medical bills, and we wouldn't have to be asking for help now.

Of course, we're the only people they follow, and that's their only post, so they obviously made the blog just for this purpose. I think I know who it is, but I can't prove it, so oh, well. Took screen shots in case receipts are needed later, but since it's obviously a throwaway account, it would be pointless to @ them here.

(Oh, apparently we're also bad people for being... liberals? LOL We're leftists, man. Liberals are more conservative than we are.)

Like I said, pretty sure I know who it is, and they probably hate-follow us from another account anyway, but, y'know, they're too cowardly to show themselves. So hi. Go to therapy.

Yeah. Fun stuff.

Anyway, if you'd like to help us all get back to the US so I can use my benefits to get the medical treatment I need (which, again, is needed as a result of me getting covid 3X AFTER we found out we were having El), please see my pinned post.

[poewritesgayshit]

Only God knows if you're still taking requests-- but how do you feel about a Fyolai+Sigma where Nikolai convinces Sigma that they should Noncon Fyodor? It can start as Noncon and end with all parties really into it, lol. I leave it to your creative genius, Poe. I just want to see Fyodor bottoming for both of them and hating how much he is enjoying it for a change lol. Mindbreak is also a cute detail if you want. Hope you consider it! 💖💖

↪ ⋆ ▫ ∙ we're what killed the dinosaurs | fyosiglai request 🎉 ∙ ▫ ⋆ ↩

word count: 1.4 k. mostly pwp

description:

Sigma is tired of Nikolai's games, even if the point of this one is to make everyone get along. But he'll play fair. After all, this is the first time Nikolai's used this type of method. (An aphrodisiac that works as a slow-acting poison? Is he serious?) Yeah... Sigma knows everyone can survive this one. So he'll do what he can, even if it means doing something he really shouldn't do.

contains: most of the above and also

fuck or die

fyodor is in a non-speaking role; he is completely restrained and subdued. i wasn't sure how to write sigma being in the more dominant role without nikolai having a very heavy hand in things

trans masc sigma, also trans masc sigma taking dick without protection and getting creampied

notes: hey nonnie thank u for the request! this was actually my first one, can you believe it? and i hope this wasnt too long of a wait! my whole family had covid and i was running a fever. ill crosspost to ao3 once i stop fucking around on discord and get around to it 👉👈 hope u like it

edit: ao3 link is here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/52099318

The last thing Sigma saw before he passed out was the spine of the library book he'd just checked out toppling to the floor next to him. The first thing he saw when he woke up was Nikolai's face.

"Welcome, Sigma! Welcome! Want to play a game?" Nikolai was glowing. Sigma resisted the urge to sock him square in the jaw because he was in survival mode now, and survival mode meant he needed to keep all his fingers.

"I'm not at the library," Sigma said, phrasing it as a statement instead of a question, and Nikolai's face lit up.

"Ding ding ding! Cor-rect! Now, for ten additional points, guess where you are!"

Sigma was not playing his game.

"Probably some warehouse in Yokohama somewhere," Sigma said, because the lights were off, and he couldn't really see, and he was so lightheaded that what he could see wasn't helping much. But after letting his eyes adjust, he realized that the lights wouldn't help. Nikolai had covered every surface with dark green fabric, fabric so thick that he couldn't tell one surface from another.

"That is…" Nikolai paused. "In-correct! Want to buy a vowel?" He ripped the fabric off of what appeared to be a large chalkboard, where the partially-written words 'L - - -  H - - - -' were spelled in permanent marker, along with a half-drawn hangman figure.

Sigma was about to tell Nikolai off for being childish, but then, it hit him all at once, and he stood up… then fell over again, after realizing how weak he really was.

"Nikolai, am I in a love hotel?"

"Whoa! You're pretty smart, Sigma!" Nikolai fanned himself with a paper fan that he'd pulled out of nowhere, and then snapped it shut, tilting Sigma's chin up with its edge. "But you weren't able to figure out that we aren't the only ones in this room."

With a flourish, he ripped the green velvet off of a loveseat in the middle of the room, to reveal Fyodor Dostoevsky. He was bound and gagged, naked, with his legs tied apart. He was covered with a fine sheen of sweat, as if he was feverish, and he looked just as weak as Sigma felt.

"The aphrodisiac I administered to both of you is also a slow-acting poison. 'The effects can be delayed by sexual release…' at least that's what it says here on the bottle." Nikolai tossed a glass bottle over his shoulder. "I have enough antidote for both of you, but first, I want you to compete in another game with me~"

"I've had enough of your games," Sigma said, the furious words dropping from his lips before he could hold his tongue.

"But, Sigma, dear, don't you want to live?" Nikolai asked, and then, he kissed him.

It was true. Sigma wanted to live.

Nikolai's lips didn't feel repulsive—at least, Sigma didn't want to instinctively jerk away when Nikolai wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and held him still. Maybe it was the fact that the aphrodisiac had already taken effect, or the fact that he was scared of him. But Sigma didn't want to move.

From across the room, Fyodor watched them with sharp eyes.

"You know, I was so relieved when you both made it out okay. I thought I might have been broken, because I wasn't supposed to feel that way. When I'm no longer tied to anyone or anything, I truly have free will—or at least, that's what I thought. You see, I've grown attached to you, too, Sigma. I was grieving for you, too. And when I found out you were also okay, I ran as quickly as I could to see you. So, I thought, 'why don't we all celebrate? Instead of killing each other… why don't we all try to survive instead? By showing each other some love… isn't that right?' " Nikolai said.

Sigma felt ill. "So you want to watch me and Fyodor fucking? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Oh, no no no, you don't need to use that kind of language~ But if you insist~ you might want to do it soon. He's been waiting here for a long time, you know. In ten minutes, he'll pass out~ Thirty minutes until organ failure will start, and in forty-five minutes, he'll become incontinent. Within two hours, if I don't forcibly administer the antidote, he'll die, and even if I do, he won't be able to stand without mobility aids. Should I go on?" Nikolai continued to monologue. He clearly had this all planned out.

Sigma stared at Dostoevsky, tied up in his chair. Fyodor looked pathetic. He was a sobbing wreck—he must be in immense pain, too. Sigma blinked, and Nikolai must have removed all of the cloth that was covering the tables in that split second, because they lay bare, covered with BDSM paraphernalia, vibrators, condoms and lube, even knives and scissors.

Sigma, without thinking, stood up and approached Fyodor.

Once he got there, his knees gave way, and he just… collapsed on top of him. And Sigma stayed there, his head buried in the crook of his neck, rutting his arousal against Fyodor's.

Fyodor was smaller than he was, but Sigma didn't think he was going to crush him. Sigma realized that he'd been undressed in his sleep—this feels like a dream, Sigma thought, listening to Fyodor's pathetic whines as he rubbed his clit up against the head of his cock. He realized, without acknowledging it fully, that he was making just as much noise as Fyodor was, and that somehow, he was so wet that he could just… slide Fyodor right inside of him. And he did just that, acting on impulse and sinking all the way down so Fyodor's cockhead could nudge against his cervix.

 What happens if he cums in me? 

This thought felt like it was happening in a distant memory as Sigma fucked himself hard on Fyodor's shaft. Fyodor screamed through his gag and he figured the other man might have already finished… but he must have thought too soon. A glance over his shoulder revealed that Nikolai had his cape draped over his lap and was playing with something in between his thighs. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he had buried in that cape, and where it had ended up. Sure enough, Fyodor's sobs of overstimulation were because Nikolai had buried himself up to the root and was painfully teasing his prostate.

Sigma, feeling a little bit bad for him, cupped Fyodor's face and kissed along his jaw as he struggled in his grip. Fyodor looked like he was close to an orgasm, but Sigma hadn't gotten anywhere near his own. Sure enough, he shuddered in Sigma's arms, and Sigma felt him release inside. The morning after pill wasn't easy to acquire, and he was already trying to figure out if he'd have better luck just going to Yosano—but suddenly, as he was dismounting, something stopped his train of thought.

When Sigma tried to get up, Nikolai blocked his way. He was behind him, holding him still. He wrapped a hand around his neck, and that was when Sigma screamed. But Nikolai wasn't trying to kill him. He removed his hand as soon as Sigma relaxed and slid back down, filling himself once again. Then, he... grabbed his hips, lifting him and slamming him down. Nikolai went one step further than that, wrapping one hand underneath each of his thighs and using all his strength to pick him up. picking him up. He was manhandling him and sliding him up and down on Fyodor's cock—It felt unbelievably good, better than anything Sigma could do on his own. He then pressed something into Sigma's hand, then guided his hand down and against his cunt. It was a vibrator, something Sigma had never bought or used before. And when he switched it on, the stimulation plus whatever Nikolai was doing to him made him want to cry. Sigma sobbed, burying his head in Fyodor's shoulder as Nikolai helped his friend use his body as a living fleshlight. He didn't even realize that he was having an orgasm until three minutes into his second one. The buildup was just as intense as the climax itself, and his body just kept going, spasming, sandwiched in between Fyodor and Nikolai for what seemed like hours.

Sigma was only aware that he had passed out when he woke up. Nikolai must have done something while he was distracted; because this wasn't a normal occurrence for him, not in the slightest.

"The antidote," he managed, his mouth dry. Nikolai, lying in bed next to him, perked up when he heard him say it.

"Oh, the antidote~ It's all done! I gave it to you while you slept!" Nikolai said, with the same cadence as if he was telling Sigma he had a birthday present he hadn't given to him yet.

"...Where's Fyodor?" Sigma asked, then, the words crowding behind his lips before he said them as if he didn't want to set them free.

"He's in the other room. He asked for you. Do you want to see him again?" Nikolai said, and he was all sparkles and hearts and glitter and fire.

Sigma was smoke, he was dust, he was ash. He felt like he would blow away in the wind.

"I don't."

[bcofl0ve]

this is a question that's always interested me, so forgive me if you've already been asked this. but in another universe*hypothetically* if v and aus were still together do you think everyone would actually like, like them together? even with knowing that she probably didn't treat him all that nicely. how do you think our fandom would look??

speaking about the public at large and not just *my* personal opinion...i think it would've been not great for public perception. like i joke about how he was probably relieved he was #free during the whole "wellll people are gonna dieeee buttt" covid thing but. i think it is gen for the better he is still tied to someone who is like problematic-lite, and like, problematic publicly lol. though granted if they kept up the pda to the extent that it was amped up in older pap photos then maybe ppl would be willing to forgot about that haha. one thing stan twitter loves is pda pap photos of cute actors!

if she *wasn't* problematic in the ways she is i don't think i'd mind her. she's a pretty gal, and i can't knock her being WooWoo or anything like that bc i too am a woowoo girlie. i actually caught shit on here before the whole 'crying' comment debacle/the talk about her not being nice to him bc i was so neutral on her that i bordered into defending her a smidge. i know how it can "look" for fandoms of ppl of the male gender to really go to the mat against a woman in their life. but at this point, i think disliking her and disliking her *publicly* is just fine and not like, misogynist.

in terms of our fandom specifically? i think at large, if she was the same problematic girl is now that we'd mostly ignore her and that there'd be a lot of "well austin isn't her, she's her own person" talk whenever she did something dumb. with some more intense discourse if the stuff about her not being nice to him came out while they were still together.

but if this was in an AU where she's without any issues, i think the same people that are really gung ho about hating kaia would hate her too. ive said this before but while *some* of the shit k gets is directed at her individually re: her parents/her being a nepo baby...anyone he was with would have ppl who want him single up in arms for one reason or another. off topic from vanessa, but it always makes me giggle when (moreso on twitter, not here) ppl who i know are anti-kaia go on and on about missing auslivia/fantasize about them getting back together. likeeeeee. babe be fr. you would be in line to burn olivia at the damn stake if those roles were really all swip swapped. i love olivia to death, but she's objectively somewhat of a messy figure in austin land. i can vividly see all the hypothetical "austin is pushover for letting her get away with blah blah blah, she's clearly manipulating him, poor austin! boo privileged australian rich girl!" posts from the anti-girlfriends if they had worked out or gotten back together lololol. (and before someone fusses at me over even these hypotheticals, i know it'll never happen! i am a lot of things, but not completely delulu)

something something the grass always looks greener on the other side...

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Old Heart 2 New Heart : Learning & Growing

You see that beautiful body of water? And the art that is this picture is what inspired me to write this. I hadn’t looked at this picture in ages. I almost forgot I had so many from 2020. The world was said to be ending, after all.

I had on this turtle necklace. Which I loved with my heart. Along with the beautiful baby turtle I had named Nina Athena. lol. The turtle stood for moving slow, and taking your time. I didn’t realize how much it would mean to me til today. Which I thought of way before the idea of writing this came up.

But in this moment, I took a leap of faith. One I wouldn’t forget for a while. And I learned so much along the way.

It inspired me because in 2020 I opened a door when I decided to chose heartbreak than to stay with my ex. I broke up with him right on v-day weekend. I just couldn’t do it anymore. At that moment a lot of things changed around me. My home, we ended up moving somewhere far better.

My health, changed for the better. My relationship with food was different, I wasn’t so nippy with what I’d eat.

My body and appearance, I started glowing! And I felt happier. I wanted to live and I got it.

So what’s different now? And what’s changing?

So moments after the year had ended, I found myself going through flows and waves of changes I had not seen coming.

For the first time in years, I found freedom, change and hope to be something less fearful. And yet still I couldn’t stay afloat with what it was showing me.

When I broke up with my ex, he was the first person I dated. And I really wanted to stay with him. But I realized things were better off broken than consistently trying to fix them. So this is when I cut the snip. And started reflecting on my past.

This was a screenshot I got from an old tumblr account, which I honestly regret deleting. Lmao.

Well I do and I don’t. But it was time for a new life. I decided to delete it to find something new. And here I am..

But just reading what I wrote. I felt like that not too long ago. But now I’ve got the grip of it and started moving forward with better mind.

How did I do it? Again and again? Is it not exhausting ?

Like having to shift your perspective a lot seems daunting. But in this case hope is still keeping me alive . So god bless.

I came a long way. I tell myself. I gotta pick myself up when I’m down. Before that picture was taken. Many months of hell was shaping my perspective into heaven. I was hurting inside while making peace with everything in the world. From COVID, to the pandemic, the fear and anxiety trying to suck me in, heart break, paranoia, the protests.. everything was shaping me into my heaven. I would not stop me from making it to a peaceful state of mind.

Life was beautiful. And still is.

The impact 2020 had on me is still shaping the little girl that was still old enough to do what she wanted.. she just didn’t realize it yet.

And now she’s grown up, and having a more realistic approach to society and living beyond standards that were brought to shape her perception of thinking.

She’s grew out of it. And makes new waves to overstay its welcome.

I may not know much, but I know a lot. I know that peace is a birth right, and not something I gotta fight for. So this year being the theme of prosperous peace and enlightenment I get to flow in my abundance and rejoice in my connections with Mother Nature.

Im pretty sure that my life is changing. Just not in the ways I had hope. Its stupid to believe that everything is suppose to go my way, but I still kept trying. No worries, I'm learning to figure it out. I'm just open to a better life, you know?

As I open my heart, I know its not I'm ungrateful. Just unsure with where all this leads. Why I just can't grasp the concept, or just don't like trying. See.. there's that word. I really hate trying, especially if its not something I want or care about.

But in the world, there will be a lot of things we have to do that we just don't care about. And that's why life throws you the lemon, and you just gotta make your own lemonade.

So when I learned to let go of my expectations, I desired a new set of tears, the pain had gone away and I could see something new on the horizon. My tears became joyful tears. I was ecstatic to see change. My laughter was seen miles away and I was ok at this point.Just here enjoying, connecting, expressing, simply being. Grateful at this point. Even with all the twists and turns, I could see that I was so much more. And I was building a team, amongst the heavens watching over me. My guardian angels are happy with me. Finally after all these years I could see that my stubborn attitude was blocking my blessings and could open up to new love. The heart.

The new heart brings so much change, but so much love. Soooo soo much love. I can't grasp it, it flows. Its just what it wants to be, and then we move on.

You'll remember it like it was yesterday, and then you realize that moment is no longer here... but its everywhere. In your heart, in your mind, in the little moments you have in the real world. Its there, its just waiting for you to find it. When you believe that love exists all around, it won't just be a memory, it'll be all around. It'll be in every person, every animal, every little scene from your favorite tv, the food you eat... etc. It's all for you to take in and love for yourself. Got it?

So as I grow, Im learning to accept everything, including me, in all shapes and forms of love I never knew were possible.

From looking back at me from 2020, wondering where did she go... To remember that she was right here all along is a treasurable feeling. Whatever I was searching for was looking for me within. And when the old heart couldn't breathe the new one came in for the team. Lol. Now I'm gaining access to a new divine light, and I am enjoying the process because of it.

The end.

[spurgie-cousin]

Didnt Kodi say he wasnt attracted to Christine at their wedding.. or something about her eating something and it made him sick. How awful is that? I think Meri is basically a single woman. Janelle too. I wonder what would happen if it was just Robyn and Janelle left? Before Covid did he visit the other wives in rotation?

Lol there are a lot of questions here let me pull out the bullet points:

YEA so for anyone who doesn't know that story it was an incredibly mean and bizarre little anecdote that Kody included in one of their books about his courtship with Christine: he talks about being on a road trip with her and stopping to get some snacks one day in the morning. Christine got loaded nachos (queen) and Kody, who says he'd been drinking soda constantly to stay awake while said it had been messing with his stomach, so just looking at the nachos made him really queasy. And the story could've just ended there, but he adds that he'd always thought Christine was very cute even though she was "a little chubby" but seeing her eat the nachos in the car in the morning grossed him out so much that he started to reconsider their relationship...........and if that weren't enough he adds this at the end: "Looking back, I hate myself for the thoughts I had at that moment, but the sight of this chubby girl in my car devouring chili cheese nachos for breakfast put the brakes on our relationship." Just an incredibly random and cruel thing to say about the mother of your children imho.

In the first episode of this season, Kody talks about his motivations for marrying Christine being more about duty than attraction and romantic feelings which...........I really don't get where he's coming from there. He already had 2 wives at this point, I don't see why he felt like he HAD to marry Christine if serious feelings weren't there? It feels like an insight into his thinking when he married all 3 of the first wives and probably why all but his relationship with Robyn seems to be failing. Christine said she did feel romantic feelings at their wedding and was kind of shocked to hear that he didn't.

Meri is essentially a single woman but at this point, I think she's made a very conscious decision to stay. I think her motivations are more about atonement within her religion/relationship more than anything else, even though according to both of them it's been over a decade since they've had a satisfying romantic relationship. Unlike Christine, I don't think she has enough of a sense of self to leave and maybe feels like she wouldn't have a proper support system if she left the family, since her parents are gone and she only has one child. Honestly if anyone else leaves, I feel like it'll be Janelle since her kids are currently up in arms over their dad's treatment of their part of the family and I think her kids have a lot of influence on her.

I think their schedule has been fucked up since their move to Flagstaff tbh, but in Vegas and Utah, Kody would either do alternating nights at each wife's house or do a couple days in a row just depending. Since they were all right there either in the big Utah house or the cul de sac it wasn't much of an issue, bc even if he was at one wife's house that night he could still be present for the others if they needed something, but yea as far as I know it was way more equal and balanced.

[cutecherrygirl]

Hi so um, this is my first time writing 5sos imagine so dont expect anything good lol but ill try

Cats over dogs

Plot: you and Luke have been dating for 3 years but then broke up due to Him cheating on you with Sierra 🙄😒. But in those 3 years yiu guys have raised a dog named Petunia. And you raised her during covid so...lets just say she is very attached to you and is used to you being around, and Sierra just came put of nowhere and now Petunia misses you and is sick, doesn't want to eat, sleep, or drink. She just sits by the door and wait for but but u are not allowed to come anymore. But seeing Petunia like this breaks Luke's heart so he decided to do some changes.

Warnings: smut lol and cursing.

You woke up by the most annoying sound in the world, alarm. You whined and turned it off "for fucks sake" you cursed and sat up, you took your phone in your hands and check the time, it was 8:00 a.m. you rolled your eyes and tossed the phone on the bed. Today is a special day, for Michael, hes having a baby shower abd you happened to be invited, you and Michael are good friends but the reason the invitation shocked you is because you broke up with Luke.

You stand up and walk to the bathroom to do your morning routine then went to the kitchen to make yourself coffee. You made a plat to complete ignore the individual that chested on you and his unidentified new chick and just focus on your friends and Calum. After drinking your coffee you went back to your room and jump on bed, you decided to relax as if you didn't just wake up.

Suddenly your phone started ringing so you pick up "Michael Clifford, its 8:25 a.m, what is it?" You said annoyed "look y/n, Luke is going to attend the baby shower and I dont want you guys to fight" I sighed "Michael, tell him that...not me..Im planning on ignoring him" I said honestly but Michael Did liked that so he hang up. Michael hates when something doesn't go in harmony or according to his stupid plans.

It was almost time to go so you started getting ready, you dressed up in this

You let your hair fall over your shoulders Because why not, and you put on some parfeum to smell good for....well.... everyone except for Luke. You then grabbed your Dior purse and walked out of the house before locking the door for safety reasons. Then you drove to Michael's and Chrystal's house.

When you arrive you walked over to the front porch with bag in your arms. Chrystal opened the door "Hiii!" She saud exited and hugged you "omg hii!!" You hugged her back and handed her the gift which was mostly baby toys, some gummy worms for Michael and cookies for Chrystal. You two had a minni gossip part on your own before finally entering the house. You greeted everyone and Calum was last to be greeted "Hey" he said and you rolled your eyes "hey" "I like your hat"Calum said after looking at you up and down "but im not wearing any hat" you said confused "exactly" then he left.

After few minutes, you already ate half of the cake, few minu pizza's and glass of water, no alcohol tonight 🤭. You were just chatting with Michael 's mom and tried avoiding all the personal questions she was asking when all of a sudden you felt something wet on your leg "Ugh exuse me!" You said and turned around seeing Petunia, you literally started crying and kneeling down and hugging her "omg my baby" you patted her and Petunia wiggled her tail, you couldn't help but noticed somone watching you from the corner of your eye, you looked and it was Luke, your mood instantly changed from happy to not very happy. Petunia ran to Luke cuz her called her and you stand up as he walked towards you "Hey".

You decide to walk away from him but he grabbed your arm "lets talk" he said "we dont have anything to talk about Luke" you said but he didn't agree with that statement "of course we do" he pulled you towards him so you were facing him "Let go of me" you said angry but he shook his head "I brought Petunia here so u can see her and this is how you repay me?" He asked "Luke, you cheated on me with that woman" you reminded him before seeing a ring on his finger "wow...you even married her" you said as tears started to form in your eyes "remember when you promised me we will get married Luke? Where did that go? Oh wait I know, in the trash can!!!" You screamed before pulling your arm away from him and walking away.

You were on the tarace era with Cherry cola in your hand and cigarette in other. You were sad but very mad as well. "Hey" A voice behind you suddenly said "Hey Ash" you replied and he patted your shoulder " are you ok?" He asked you before taking the cigarette out of your mouth and into his own, you chunkled "not really" he shook his head and you talked for awhile. Since he brought Whiskey you two got a bit drunk and started talking nonsense. You giggled as he caressed your back while telling you about his fishing adventures, he then placed his hands on your waist and caressed it with his thumbs, while you took another sip of the drink. Then you both started feeling very deep tension and in that moment you just needed to feel his lips on yours or you would go crazy, so you leaned in, first watching his reaction and when you saw he started leaning in as well the door suddenly opened.

You both looked at each other annoyed and then at the door, it was Luke with Petunia following him "What is going on?" He asked "dude cmon" Ashton said annoyed before grabbing your hand "lets go somewhere else" you nodded but Luke stopped you "wait...Y/n...can you like be with Petunia for a bit before we go home "he asked you and you looked down at Petunia"fine" you said and Ashton walked out. You took of your heels and laid on bed, Petunia laid next to you and cuddles up to you and Luke laid behind Petunia.

It was quite, awkwardly quite. Petunia fell asleep and you were patting her "She's so cute" you said and Luke nodded. You couldn't Help but noticed Luke was watching you carefully "Luke, stop starting at me for fucks sake" you whispered so u dont wake Petunia up "sorry you're just so pretty and-" You interupted him "either take your cringe ass out the door or be quite" you warmed him before looking up at him for the first time since he entered the room. After few more minutes you decide to talk "Luke..why did you cheat on me with her? Just why? Is she really that better than me? Or is it just because you like older women" you waited for the answer"it was just an affair....but I never stopped loving you" "oh fuck off you moron, you literally married her" you rolled your eyes trying to keep your eyes from getting watery "Im sorry...."you heard his voice crack, no matter how mad you were at him you hated seeing him cry "Don't cry" you said "I just, I literally made the biggest mistake ever, she doesn't even cook good" you gently moved Petunia to lay on your place and you layed om hers next to Luke, You wrapped your arms around his torso and carresed his golden locks "don't cry" you whispered in his ear and he wrapped his arms around you tightly, taking in your scent.

You stayed like that for awhile before you felt him place his hands on your leg and caressing it with his thumb, you enjoyed it because his hands were soft and warm. You nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck amd gave him little kiss there he then pulled you closer and moved his hand from your leg to your bum pushing it slightly so your hips would brush against his,you let out a breathy moan as your heat brushed against his hard well yk, you then placed your leg over his hip and he thrusted his hips into yours and you but your lip. Every move he made was gentle, slow and sensual, your brain was telling you to stop him but your mind and heart were telling you to kiss him and continue, since everyone always say to listen to your heart you did just that. You looked up at him and he looked back at you moved hair from his face behind his ears, placed your hands on his cheeks and kissed him, he of course kissed you back full of lust and passion. He then placed you on your back and got on top of you with his hips still grinding against yours "you have no idea how long ive dreamed of doing this again, touching you again, kissing you again" he whispered in your ear before biting it gently and kissing your neck, you threw your head back "fuck Luke" You moaned out quietly, after making sure he left few visible marks he wrapped his fingers around your neck and kissed you roughly, he ran his hand down to your cleavage, he tuck his finger inside it before ripping your dress in two pieces, you couldn't care less to be honest , as long as you had Luke 😜. He tossed it to the floor and you helped him take off his blouse and pull down his pants, he then slide down his boxers and your underwear and got ready. He leaned down at you and pecked your lips and you opened your legs wider, he layed his forehead on top of yours "I dont have condom"he said and you blinked "you can pull out" you told him but he wasn't having it, "oh look, there's one on the floor" He randomly found condom on the floor, you didn't really care that much, he opened ot and put it on the went back to the position he was in, he slid himself inside of you and you moaned "oh my god" quietly of course "shhh" he told you and bit down on your shoulder then started moving his hips, you started getting desperate and moving your hips as well "fuck Luke go faster, please just go fucking fast" you whined which made him twitch inside of you and going faster and harder, he gripped the bed board behind you and leaned down to kiss you, while you made out he grabbed your bum and lift it up in the air then continued to pound into you like that, you completely lost yourself and started crying out in pleasure and Luke was enjoying every second of it, when you two finally came at the same time he layed down on top of you and you both were breathing heavily and were sweat as fuck, he kept giving your shoulder mini kisses which you liked alot.

You then dressed up, you found a new dress under the rug and walked out just in time to reveal gender and it was a girl yay.

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte hope you're doing well! it's going to be a long ask so I apologize in advance but I wanted to share my experience here x

In July I went to Harry's show in Madrid, initially I was planning on going alone since my friends are not fans but I ended up talking to a girl in a WhatsApp group who was close to my age (I'm 30 she's 26) we met the day of the show and went together. While we were waiting for Wet Leg to perfom we talked a lot, she is a 1D fan since almost the beggining but her favorite always has been Harry so she fall under the category harrie/directioner. Anyways there were a couple of things that caught my attention because I'm a Larrie so I'm used to seeing things through our pov so it was fun to see how harrieland works.

The first thing that surprised me was the fact that she didn't like Jeff Azoff (she was also aware of the lawsuit against his dad) I truly thought we were the only ones who didn't really like or trust him (I'm not saying he is the controlling devil some Larries paint him to be but it's obvious he is not a good person and I've only seen Harries defend him on social media because he's Harry's friend). She made a interesting point saying it was weird that someone as kind as Harry is friends with awful people like Jeff, James Corden or Olivia and that made her sometimes reconsider who he is a person.

I asked her about Holivia because I was super intrigued what her opinion was about that shitshow. She made it clear she didn't like Olivia at all so I asked her: Did you really thing they were a couple? And her answer was yes "because they were two years together" (apparently two years its way too long to be a pr relationship for some people lol) I swear I had to contain my laugh, so I told her: And don't you think it's weird they started dating while they were filming the movie and suddenly break up two days after it premiered on HBO? I kid you not she was shocked like she didn't think about that before but she insisted that two years was too much and I replied something like: Do you realise the movie had to be postponed a few times due to covid restrictions and it was supposed to premiere way sooner? Do you really think Harry is going to fall in love with someone like Olivia? She didn't say anything but it was obvious she did understand the point and was processing the information.

Later the conversation turned to be about Brad and the funny rumors about him and Harry, she didn't believe they were a thing but while we were on the topic I asked her: you don't really think Harry's straight right??? And the answer was what you can expect from a harrie: she thinks he is bisexual. I didn't try to change her mind because what's the point but it made me think that if someone open minded who is a fan for so many years don't think he's gay I can understand why hets, gp and some solos think he is straight.

Finally I talked about how I was saving money to buy merch at Louis show since he's my favorite, I like Harry but I was more into Louis and I wish you could've seen the shocked expression on her face lmao I swear she looked like she couldn't believe it (it's not like she hates Louis or anything that's why I found it funny that she was so surprised) and after a few seconds she asked me if i was a Larrie (I also found so funny that the first thing that comes to her mind was Larry because I told her at the beggining I'm a directioner and I'm also going to Niall's show next year so why your first thought is that?) I was honest with her tho and said yes that I was a Larrie since 2012 when I started being fan of 1D and through the years I haven't change my mind about them, she didn't agree but was respecful.

The last topic was Freddie, of course, she literally asked me if i was one of the "weirdos" that thought Freddie isn't Louis son. I wanted to be honest as well and tell her my opinion about bbg but I knew she wouldn't understand and everything we talked about before which truly seem to made an impact on her wouldn't have meant anything because I was "crazy" for thinking Louis is not a dad. So I kinda avoid the question and tell her I was not like the ones that are always making everything they do a Larry proof.

Again I'm really sorry for the long ask I just find really interesting seeing things from the pov of someone who is neither a Larrie or a het/anti

Hello, anon! I'm well, thank you 💜

It's always interesting getting outsiders point of view. Harrieland must be such a confusing place to be. She's showing so much cognitive dissonance, just by you giving a bit of information and connecting a few dots for her. I'm not surprised she doesn’t like Jeff or O. That's pretty universal in fandom i reckon.

You should have asked her if she thinks Louis is straight. If Harry is bisexual, does she think Harry could've had feelings for Louis at some point (txf days)? You could also give arguments to why Harry is not bisexual. Depending on the answers you could've given her a bit more to ponder over. Or maybe that would be pushing it. It's just goes to show it's not actually that hard to make others see different when you show them where to look. Bg is a big hurdle for some, but if you help them connect all the other dots, it isn't that hard to see why bg is fake too. The take away here is maybe it won't be such a shock to people when Harry comes out (as gay). It's a good thing.

[armandjolras]

Dumping an extremely long writeup of my thoughts about the IWTV series here. In case anyone does read it, tw for domestic abuse and rape, because it seems that’s the story we got 💀

The show overall

I absolutely loved the inclusive representation and how naturally the story supported the changes. I’ve distanced myself a bit from the books and film because I’m increasingly uncomfortable with their problematic elements, so it was great to experience the story without those. I loved how gay it was, at last!!! The use of Covid in the new framing story feels very 2021 lol but I think it’s an interesting idea, and the Dubai flat is soooo Armand (/neg).

That being said, if I had to look at the show objectively I would say it’s not very good. I don’t know enough about tv production to say what the issue was, but both the writing and direction felt awkward to me. The climax was too drawn out, and ending the show by revealing Armand’s identity will surely be underwhelming to anyone who hasn’t read the book or seen the film. I really disliked how desaturated and brownish the colour palette was, and I don’t think the mood matched the books. It wasn’t very gothic, but instead had a sort of sterility that reminded me of what I’ve seen of Hannibal. And finally, a lot of things seemed very silly to me. The way they hissed at each other was straight out of What We Do In The Shadows, and wasn’t that mind-reading scene, where everyone is thinking about food/sex, from Twilight??

Maybe this is overly pessimistic, but I have a feeling the show won’t be renewed for series 3. I really would love a decent adaptation of books 2 and 3, but maybe it is for the best, as the books get increasingly sillier, and because of the way Lestat was characterised so far💀

The characters

Jacob is so perfect as Louis. It’s refreshing to see Louis as he originally was, before he was flanderised in later books, and while I don’t think Brad Pitt is as bad as most people do, Jacob fits the character exactly and brings so much energy to the role.

I’m sooo obsessed with Bailey as Claudia, she was so much fun! I was never a huge Claudia fan before, but I love how her personality was portrayed in this, and how prominent of a role she was given, I cared about her so much. And Bailey masters that very creepy wide-eyed stare. I’m glad we got an adult actress as Claudia because of the intensity of the story (even though I did have to suspend my disbelief a bit when the show focused on how Claudia will look so young and 14 forever when she could easily pass as a grown up)

However, I HATED the rape plot. It served little purpose and could be replaced with some other plot point, and it’s such an upsetting, lazy trope to have a female character raped (especially a girl of colour). And I was excited to have an early fang gang cameo before that happened 😭

I’m a bit meh on Eric and how Daniel is written in general. I just think he’s too much of an asshole, and Eric delivers his lines in such a mean way. There’s definitely shades of Daniel’s personality there, and I COULD see Daniel growing up to be like that — I just think he’s a good guy, nicer than we’re shown here. And I really didn’t like the brief appearance of young Daniel, I don’t think he had the right energy at all.

And the new framing story means almost certainly no devil’s minion, but I doubt the show will make it that far anyway.

He was barely in it but I’m already obsessed with Assad’s Armand, his demeanor is perfect, and he really looks like an Armand! So excited to see more of him in series 2.

The minor characters were good, I especially liked having a bit of Louis sister’s arc in there!

I saved Lestat for last because I have a lot to say 💀. I thought Sam did a great job all things considered, so I don’t blame him, just the writing. Even before episode 5 i didn’t love this depiction of the character. There were some things I did like — he was fun, annoying, and impetuous, as Lestat should be. But I didn’t get the sense that he loved humanity, which is one of Lestat’s most important characteristics. Of course that wasn’t in book 1, but the framing story is supposed to be a revision of the original interview anyway. He enjoyed partying with people, but never seemed to care about any mortals. They could have given screentime to that, instead of the abuse. Or maybe they decided to base his characterisation on later series Lestat who does seem to abuse the people he loves /j

Initially, I didn’t know why they made him so abusive. From my perspective, the hard part of adapting IWTV is balancing Lestat’s abusiveness in that book with who he becomes in later books, blending the character attributes, so the audience will like him later on. So WHY would they make him MORE abusive??

I do wonder if it’s because they made Louis/Lestat an explicit romance. It’s a lot harder to believe that Louis would be complicit in Lestat’s death when he’s happily in love with him than when it was Brad Pitt acting numb and miserable. I wonder if they added this graphic and violent abuse to convince the audience, as well as Louis and Claudia, to hate Lestat in the span of one episode. And if so, that’s so lazy! They could have focused more on Lestat’s psychological control, convincing the others that they’re helpless without him, or Louis’s self-loathing about being a vampire and his resentment of Lestat.

And to be honest, while the beating scene was awful, I was more upset by the traincar scene with Claudia. I just watched The Shining last weekend and Lestat bursting into the train with the severed head of the conductor was so Jack Torrence. And if I didn’t misunderstand, i think he threatened to rape Claudia, and told her that if she let that happen, it would upset Louis. Please correct me if I’m wrong! Because that is horrendous.

i don’t think there’s any coming back from this for the character. In the series, the characters are willing to forgive anything over time because they’re all immortal, but I can’t see the audience forgiving. So if they do make it past series 2, it will be interesting to see what they do. (And maybe it’s for the best if not, not only because of Lestat, but also because I’d rather not see any screen time dedicated to Marius lol)

[aspoonfuloffiction]

People need to stop blaming Ruby for the lack of Francesca on the show. We know Chris limited Francesca's screentime in season 1 because she's rarely with her family in the books. As for season 2, filming was delayed due to Covid if not for that she easily could have filmed both shows. If Chris wanted to give Francesca more to do he could have and if production was commited to her they would have accommodated with her schedule better.

Now on the flip side I don't think there's anything suspicious about the recast itself and the announcement? I don't really remember the cast making goodbye post when Rege left (I'm pretty sure they didn't notify the cast about him leaving). Ultimately Francesca was a very small role and Ruby wasn't on set for that long, I know she's a Bridgerton but let's be real she was more of a extra that occasionally had lines. Also there's been speculation of a recast for a while now.

And lastly I don't know if the recast means we'll get a lot more of Francesca? Hannah Dodd's filmography mostly consists of small parts and she's unknown so this could be more of the same. That would also explain why they didn't make a bigger deal of her casting, because it's a small role. Unless we get a casting announcement for John and Michael I think she'll probably get more screentime but I don't think she'll get her own subplot ala Eloise.

I definitely agree this whole Francesca recast thing has been blown out of proportion. And so I’m just gonna drop all my thoughts here because I have seen some takes lol

Francesca being kinda missing from the plot is a in the source material. That said the show definitely has more moments where you miss her more because its more on an ensemble piece.

There were clearly some scheduling problems. But one that resulted from Ruby Stokes being booked and busy elsewhere. Being mad at an actor for doing a job? Stop. The creatives weren’t mad, there’s no animosity based on interviews for all intents and purposes it appears to be an amicable break.

Not posting goodbye posts or hello posts for Ruby or Hannah is not indicative of anything. Social media isn’t indicative of real life. And truthfully I think the whole Bridgerton cast has stopped using their socials in that way. Its mostly just promotional now.

Hannah is a fine actress-she was hired for the job. She was good in Anatomy of a Scandal I hear? I haven’t seen it. But the amount of people that are like “she’s not my Francesca” we haven’t seen her as Francesca?! How do you already hate it? Leave the woman alone, she seems really committed and excited-apparently she read all the books since being cast-she’s looking forward to this clearly. Don’t make this another Charithra situation.

And if you do choose to dislike Hannah already don’t make up moral reasons to do so. The way people are talking about these woman’s bodies is already giving me an ick. But to address this-Ruby is not plus size. She has a rounder face. Skinny diet culture has really tricked you all into thinking the slightest bit of roundness means shes fat. To claim that we lost plus size representation when Ruby as Francesca was never plus size representation just sounds like you’re using buzz words you don’t actually know.

Also as an aside given that most of Ruby’s pictures are from when she was a teenager if we could refrain from judging the body types of minors that be great.

As far as what this means for Francesca going forward? I actually do think a recast means good things for Franny going forward. If they were just going to keep the Francesca has 5 lines a season trend they’d just keep Ruby. Choosing to audition women and go out of their way to recast I think means we’ll see more of her.

As it is this is supposed to be the year Francesca grows up, I think we may see her marry John. I hope so at least 🤞. If the show wants longevity they’re going to need people to start caring about these younger Bridgertons.

TLDR: leave the actors alone

[mandssisters]

#marcusmumford

30.11.22

Vinilo deux Southampton

As I sit here tucked up safely in my own house nursing a red bush tea. Possibly a bit tired. What a fun day that was.

The closest Mumford (no Sons) gig ever to my hometown. What joy.

The Brook. Very much the student area of Southampton city, Portswood. Not much to entertain, just the McDonalds a plant burger and worst hot chocolate in years. Unless you are a fan of Machine Mart then this is the place for you. Car parked FOC in the roadside. Winner. And yes I had two wing mirrors and all 4 wheels post show.

The Brook was special as a student of Southampton and as a fan of the band #delays #ripgreggilbert I had high hopes and they certainly didn’t disappoint.

Inside two floors, one stage and a really great venue. Well done Vinilo for hosting. Great car park announcements. “I wonder if the owner of the white Toyota could move allowing the Tyre fitters next door to lock their gates?” If it was YOU…..

Round 1

All acoustic. Possible set list?!? Got a bit lost not necessarily in this order?!

Only Child

Dangerous game

Better off high

The Cave

Dinks song

Go in light

Cowboy

How

I will wait

So much banter I can’t remember from which set…

Set times today had be been tailored around the footy start and 1/2 times

Marcus Stopped during Better off high as he saw someone on the balcony mimicking his head “tick” and pulled them up said he can’t help it! Blew a kiss to them later! 😂

Forgetting the words in the cave, Only child was a long song, and after each verse, there’s another one. Why did he write it so long?

Loves doing this tour being back in the room with everyone. 20 gigs in 16 days. Last night was Nottingham, and he got away singing a Disney song “not in Nottingham”. Which basically is a song which isn’t a fan of Nottingham, but they seem to love it, not that bright there!! Lols. With a cheeky wink.

Really good form and lovely set.

Round two. Out the venue and in again.

Very similar set list but with added Grace and Reincarnation. Which was super cute. No dinks.

*A* star rating banter.

Ryan had won a game of fifa in the break.

Loving this tour, been feeling like he has been on his holi bobs, fucking around. His hate of silence between songs. The thoughts that run through the head whilst singing. PLAY THE LOUDEST YOU CAN ON THE ACOUSTIC GUITAR….. play the quietest. Those sort of thoughts!!

It was Ryan’s birthday in the week, (and Chris Polllards) so we sang an impromptu Happy Birthday. Then explained that Alex was previously the guitar tech and was touring with (said in a sarcastic voice) Harry Styles, but now he’s dead to us. “best birthday ever” looks at Ryan. They sent a video previously from Glasgow to Alex slating him!! Gives him the v’s!! Funny

Top right of stage, a glass window viewing pane! “Is that glass”. “You got Covid” waves!! Excited crowd all wave to the seated ladies! They look like pets in a shop window, they’ve got happy lives haven’t they…. Haven’t they?

Liking Southampton, got his haircut, they also wanted to manscape the face, but that was perfect! Had a nice snack in the Woodmill cafe. No one seemed to know this cafe.

Enjoyed the two gigs today, three tomorrow, someone shouts “ka-ching” nah mate!

I found tonight’s “How” especially moving. Too short an evening but a really special evening. Same time tomorrow?

More bands need to play The Brooks it’s ace! Go if you can.

Zzzzz’ds

[thetaekookcloset]

I really enjoy reading your thoughts and I’ve come to a lot of the same conclusions you’ve come to on Taekook. One thing I’d love to get your thoughts on are some of the Jimin, Tae, and JK interludes. I am not a Jikooker and I am not one to believe there is anything but a platonic relationship between Jimin and JK but sometimes (even as recently as the Vegas Vlive) Jimin will exhibit extreme flirtatious behavior towards JK and JK will laugh and not actively brush him off the way he maybe did in the past when they were all younger. Then JK will look over at Tae and Tae will of course be noticing this behavior and sort of sigh and look down or away (not hurt or jealous per se but exasperated or tired?). These moments have been so odd to see that I can’t help wondering - is this some kind of diversionary attempt to show that JK is flirty with more than one member so there’s nothing to see here where Taekook is concerned? I hate to be a conspiracy theorist but I honestly don’t know what else to think! Please note I love Jimin and do not think he is trying to come between Taekook.

I haven’t watched all of the BTS content through the years but I have seen a lot of compilations which may be biased but I never got the feeling in the past that Jimin would actively flirt with Jungkook the way he seems to strategically do every once in awhile lately. Jimin is close to JK - maybe even closer to him in an everyday sense than he is with Tae. I know they have always put forth that Tae and Jimin are best friends but I never really got that feeling. I think they are friends for sure and were and are very close and have been through a lot together and Jimin prob was the first person that Tae and JK talked about their relationship and sexuality with. However, personality wise I always felt like Jimin and JK vibed more harmoniously together on a platonic level so was surprised to see these odd every once in awhile flirtatious moments.

Oooh, what a fun ask, anon!  I agree with so, so much of what you're saying.  Actually more or less all of it.  I do think Jimin and Taehyung are close, but it seems different to me.  Jimin talked about sitting on a two-hour video call with Taehyung a few months ago, where they didn't really talk about anything but just did their own things -- does anyone else remember that?  I think it was when Taehyung had COVID maybe.  Anyway, that to me tells me that they genuinely are good friends.  You don't just sit in companionable silence, on purpose, with people you don't love.

But it also seems indicative to me of the kind of relationship they have.  They love each other and want to be there for each other, but it seems like they don't necessarily have as much in common or as much to really talk about.  It's like they almost have more of a soft, familial relationship than one that's like an active platonic friendship, which is more what I see between Jimin and Jungkook.

I've thought for a while that the way I see Vmin is how a lot of non-Taekookers see Taekook, I think.  I disagree, obviously -- I see those two relationships as very different -- but I've seen Jikookers, for example, describe Taekook very similarly to the way that I describe Vmin, which is interesting.

More below the cut because I know this isn’t everyone’s favorite topic.

As far as Jimin being flirty, Jungkook not brushing him off, and Taehyung reacting in a way that's exasperated and/or tired, I really wish I knew some examples you were thinking of specifically.  I can definitely think of some moments of fanservice between Jimin and Jungkook where Taehyung seemed to have a negative reaction, and there was the whole leg-pinching thing in the Vegas live which I feel like we've talked to death at this point lol, but other than those things, I don't really know what to focus on.

I do feel like Jimin has said/done some pretty outrageous things over the years, but I don't know if I feel like it's been more often recently, or even really what counts as recently in this context.  When I think about that, I think about things like Jimin saying the best part of his day is waking up and seeing Jungkook and Taehyung saying "boo" lmao (tell us how you really feel, Taehyung).

But a lot of moments that could easily be read as Jimin being "flirty" could also just be Jimin withholding information from the audience, or strategically giving information to the audience, or both -- or even just missing context or misreading emotion/intent.  Like, I know a lot of people think Jimin's birthday V Live was super weird, and I don't disagree.

The first time I watched it, before I cared much if at all about any of this, I thought he was really playing up the whole "Jungkook is coming!" thing.  Now I kind of think he maybe just genuinely felt really awkward on the live alone, you know?

So I don't really know about the whole concept of this in the first place, let alone what anyone's motives might be.  You know what I mean?  The whole concept of covering a ship with another ship just seems so silly, but if it wasn't really that, per se, and more just that Jikook is a safe and well-promoted unit and Jimin leans into it and JK goes along with it, then yeah, maybe.  That would make sense.

But it's also totally possible that this is just how the two of them naturally and genuinely interact, and maybe Taehyung just doesn't like that he's not allowed to be as freely touchy as they are together, since between Jimin and Jungkook there's nothing that anyone wants or needs to hide.  And that's all assuming that the "Jimin flirts, Jungkook plays along, Taehyung doesn't like it, in some flavor" is happening as you've noticed and that it isn't something else altogether.

(Also, just a note: the more general content I watch, the more obvious it becomes to me that Jimin touches a lot of the members in ways that are very soft and extremely familiar -- ways that, without context, I think would easily read as really romantic.  It seems to just be part of how he interacts with them, and it’s not even just Jungkook and Taehyung, it’s Yoongi and Hobi and even sometimes Namjoon too, which I just think is something to keep in mind when we talk about the ways he interacts with Jungkook.  Are we seeing flirty behavior or are we seeing Jimin interacting with someone who is both a member and his best friend, you know?)

I'm definitely interested in this whole concept, but yeah, without specific moments to think about and look at, I'm not even really sure that this is what's been happening.  By all means if you want to come back with examples, I'm all ears lol, I'm pretty curious.

Here’s some soft Vmin for your eyeballs if you made it all the way to the end:

[living-d3ad-gh0ul]

Monday 5th December 2022, 4.52am

Well here comes an insomnia post from me haha. I've been lying here in bed for about an hour now, after falling asleep really early after dinner, so here we are lol. And I have to start work at 7am, I'm going to just try and power through the day, lots of coffee and lots of keeping myself busy with work. I have a couple meetings today anyway, I just hope one of them isn't one of those ones that could have been an email. I know the other one won't be, I just hate pointless meetings, especially on a Monday haha.

I'm so glad you enjoyed your time in Terry- I mean Tassy. Even if you did bring home COVID, I really hope you're still doing okay with that and it's still just a mild cold. I had COVID for the first time in July, during our heatwave too and it was awful having a fever during that. I was quite unwell and had to take a week off work. The first pub you mentioned sounds so nice (and looks nice if that was in one of the photos you posted) and I immediately had an image of us cosying up there together, talking and laughing and just looking at each other. Being with you in the bush around a fire also sounds amazing too, I'd love that. The dog you met looks absolutely ADORABLE too and I hope you told him he's a very good boy. I bet his awoos were the cutest ever. I sometimes look after my sister's dog, she's an all black long haired German Shepherd. She's very cute, but sometimes I have to be careful when I leave my bedroom at night, because she blends in with my rug in my hallway haha. Gotta be sure you don't trip over her.

It definitely sounds like you had lots of fun, even if you did feel alone. The trolley picture made me laugh, because that's exactly something I would probably do too. I can't believe your bandmate brought a girl back though lol you'll be glad that nothing happened with them, even if their snoring did keep you awake haha. All the scenery and everything you said about Tasmania and Hobart itself sounds amazing. I'd have loved all of that too. I could imagine us together at the street market you mentioned, just walking around together, picking up the most silly/crappy things and joking about buying them for each other haha. I wish I could have been in the crowd too. I don't know if it'd been better me standing at the front, where I'd be right in front of you.. or a little towards the back so that you'd be looking out into the crowd more haha. But either way, I'd love that. I'd love to see you play. I also can't believe you play bass now too. I miss my bass, I'm thinking of getting a new one, once I get a new piano (my old one is dead, it was oldddd)

All the photos you posted were fantastic. I was right, you're still just as handsome as the first time I ever saw you. I'm going to be brave and put some photos on this post too, so you can see me now and enjoy some things I've done this year too. Including going to the US for a month. I had an amazing time and visited some friends. That was back in March/April and doesn't feel like it was that long ago. I still can't believe it's December and it's almost Christmas. I've been rushing around trying to make sure I have Christmas presents for my family and my best friends haha. I actually spent Friday evening with one of my best friends and her boyfriend, I stayed at their place and we played games, made dinner, laughed, played with the cats, listened to music and had a few drinks (my favourite gin is Hendricks too btw, but I still love Jack Daniels haha). It was a nice chill night.

I am totally comfortable with these posts. I really like reading what you've been up to, what's on your mind, what you're thinking, how you're feeling. I read them all the time. I often think about what you do during the day too. Probably more than I'd be willing to admit. Sometimes I sit and wonder what you're doing at that exact moment, I'll sometimes check to see what time it is and if you'd be awake or sleeping. I get so giddy when I see there's a new post from you and I sit smiling like a total fool when I read them. Yesterday, I basically had a relaxing day, getting ready for the week ahead. I work Monday - Friday at the moment, so I always have weekends off which is great. I also get to work from home, which I LOVE! I've been in this job for the past year and I'm good at it. I'm always told how well I do and how much I help others out that I work with. I've stopped being afraid to ask questions and ask for help if I need it. I know now that it doesn't mean I'm dumb or anything, it just means I need some assistance and that's okay. We all need some help from time to time.

I'm glad you think my songwriting is good enough. I criticize myself harshly in an artistic sense, so it's good to get perspective from other people. I'm proud of you for keeping on with the path you're on and bettering yourself and your life. Whatever will make you happy, I'm all for it. And I'll always be here, should you need a little encouragment or support. No matter how long it's been. I'm definitely trying to be a much stronger version of me too. I've had my own struggles and things happen over the past few years, but they're all lessons and I've got through it all. If I can get through the things that I have from my past, I can get through anything. I've learnt so much too and I've had so much shit thrown my way, and I can say this.. no matter whats happened, what hand you've been dealt.. you are deserving of love. I am too. We both are. I'm glad you don't drown in guilt anymore. I know that was a big thing for you and I'm so proud of you for working through that. You're doing so well and I think you're amazing. I dont think I could ever think of you as anything less than amazing.

I felt a weird but good feeling and smiled when you wrote the part about how it's not clothes or hair or anything else that makes me me. Even just thinking about it again makes me smile and scrunch my face up and giggle. I've never really thought of any parts of me as "beautiful", but I like hearing you say it. I do know how you feel about tattoos, haha. I bet your tattoos are lovely too. I'm glad to know that hasn't changed because I have some quite big ones now too. I plan on loads more. But right now I'm focusing on planning more things to do and going more places next year. That's what I really want to do. I want to explore and meet new people and have new experiences. I currently have a trip to London planned for mid-August next year, partly because I'm going to a concert there, but also because I want to visit my Uncle and I want to see different parts of London. Mainly Soho and the West end. Even if I'll be staying in North East London haha, the public transport systems in London is huge, so I'll be fine and should be able to get to everywhere I want to. I plan on staying for 5/6 days so I can see and do as much as I can.

I remember us talking about when you went to see Pale Waves. I actually still have the picture you sent me of you with them. I didn't get to meet them, but they were really good. I really enjoyed the gig. I've been watching all the Space-X launches over the past few years, ever since they did the first Dragon mission to the ISS. So of course, I know all about the Artemis missions hehe. Its a really exciting prospect, that we will one day visit another planet. And someday go back to the Moon. I'm sat at the spare bedroom/my office window looking up at the moon right now actually as I type this. She's very bright in the sky tonight. Almost ethereal, but of course.. beautiful.

I'm currently sat here listening to an album called Krystal by an artist I really like, Matt Maltese. I think you might like it too. I hope that this post wasn't too long and waffley haha. Although I know you'd probably like reading it anyway, even if it is. Oh and I really enjoyed your demos on SoundCloud. I especially loved 2am and Untitled. Those were my favourites. I've listened to them quite a few times now. I hope that's okay and you don't find that weird. I love hearing things that you make.

Here's some pictures for you.. how could I not remember everything about you? You're you.

[a-sentient-horax]

February 5, 2024

Life is getting busy. SO busy. But it's actually good, I am working hard and trying to stay on top of everything, which feels good actually. One of my friends invited me to a Hackathon at the end of March. I went to a Hackathon during Covid and had a bad experience with it, but I'm hoping going to one that is in-person with a friend will really help. I also need to like, brush up on some stuff. Like React and Node.

So I am planning on a DnD one-shot. I have been seeking a DnD group for YEARS, but as many well-acquianted with the struggle know, it is damn near impossible to get five to 6 people to clear their schedule indefinitely for 5 hours at a time every other week ish. Plus we are all young adults in college/graduating college, so it isn't like our schedules are very stable anyway. Anyway, I have finally thwarted the hateful gods that arrest my attempts to start a campaign. I met a guy who really, really wants to do a campaign. So I said if I give you a date and find some people will you help me make this happen and he said yes. So, I picked a date that he, my bf and I were free, and I set off. I am not kidding you, 4 of my friends have something else to do that day. It was a terrible day to pick lol. But, I have my boyfriend going, and the girl I'm doing the hackathon with is coming too. The other guy is bring two of his friends as well, and then I will DM (which I have never done before and I am excited to try). And honestly, the hardest part of building the campaign is over now (trying to convince everyone to sacrifice a single Saturday afternoon). Now I can do the fun stuff like build a campaign. Hella Excited.

The Return of the Creep. That's right ya'll, guess who sent me a hella long text this morning. Let me back up a bit and say last week was not good for me. I got very stressed and very tired and I was so upset. I didn't even realize how wound tight I was about like, everything happening. I didn't realize how scared I was that I would see Creep again on campus. So when I got home and my boyfriend had made me a tea and was like "what's wrong are you okay?" I totally buckled. I told him everything about the Creep. I think I just omitted the fact that before the Creep was Creepy I had given him a few hugs, which seemed irrelevant at the time. But this morning the Creep sent me a long text, I'll include some highlights here: "I understand why you did what you did to some extent, though I wish you didn't just ghost me - i made it clear i would fuck off if told to, and i stand by that" "Disregarding any romantic feelings I had for you, (which I very much did, but don't anymore so don't worry)" "I was robbed at gunpoint 6 days ago and I'm not the most stoic individual" So. I don't know what to make of all that other than it was a good idea I stopped talking to this guy. The same guy who was constantly telling me about what guns he wanted to buy and what criminal connections he was trying to make wants ME to tell him to fuck off. No way sir, that is like, for my safety I have to ghost you. I just. Whew. So I let my boyfriend know that I got this text (I am trying to be open and honest in my communication), but I think maybe he is in a work meeting or something because he hasn't read my message yet so. If he wants to look at it I will show him. Ugh. So sick of this Creep.