#he wants you soooo bad actually

[luvrodite]

putting off my assignment because i hate myself so here's some roommate! jason thoughts (in a no capes au)

pretty good roommate except for some reason his family are always over? aren't these guys supposed to be rich? you don't even know how they got a key to your place because jason is so over them breaking in

he's threatened them so many times it goes over everyone's heads at this point. at least they don't mess with your stuff. too much, anyway. you've caught the littlest one looking at the fish you guys got as a laugh and have had several conversations about different kinds of fish (he's a little awkward but he's kind of endearing)

comes into your room when the both of you are home to hang out a bit (always knocks and lingers in the doorway but picks things up and puts them down while he's talking when he gets more comfortable)

asks you if you want some when he's making food and if it's something he knows you like, always makes it anyway

the type to be so annoying during finals season when your sleep schedule gets messed up and you've been staring at your computer screen for hours. he's disgustingly organised about his finals and is always on you to get up every so often when you're studying at home

you guys become pretty good friends while living together. is it a roommate au without movie nights? they're pretty sporadic though i think because you guys have your own things but they're always a good time

you guys fall asleep on the couch one time and wake up in the morning hurting all over because even if the guy at the store assured jason's dad it was ergonomic it really wasn't made to be slept on and jason couldn't exactly move when you had your legs in his lap so he fell asleep sitting up. poor thing.

imagine a pair of skrunkly cats that look like they've crawled out of a hurricane. that is the both of you.

dumb and dumber dynamic

you see him at a get together and you both go :O across the room because you didn't know you had mutual friends !! judging strangers the entire night and skipping out early to get cheap dinner that will come back to bite you in the butt in 30 years

he always comes through for you because you guys are best friends actually no matter how much he says you're his government assigned personal tormentor for crimes he must've done in a past life

how do you know this? it's because he's come to get you in the middle of the night before and picked up on the first ring when you know his phone is always on do not disturb therefore your contact must be set to bypass that therefore you are his best friend

he says you're full of shit and that he ate the last of your snacks :)

[swordmaid]

i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…

[californiaquail]

was hanging out with someone today and she was talking about how she would shoot the hawks and eagles if they went after her indoor/outdoor cat and i had to struggle to keep a straight face. there is an EASY fucking solution to this problem that doesn't involve killing federally protected wildlife OR your poor damn cat. who got in a fight last night and left fur all over the place.

[halamshirals]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

[yoichichi]

AS I WAS SAYING. ur tags made me insane ….. monster!bachira playing w ur mouth oh im gonna die …. he loves to poke and prod and you always end up drooling all over his fingers because he won’t let you close your lips </3 he’s so enamored with how your mouth stretches and opens and he looooves when you bite at him because your teeth don’t hurt half as bad as his actual teeth would. ur so warm and wet in there and he’s so scary looking at u with that uncanny smile but your head is so fuzzy u can’t even bring yourself to care </3

Bambi….. I have never …. This. akskdkajfkisiahsjdje !!!!

He tells you all of that too :( has no qualms about telling you how pretty n shiny n warm the inside of your mouth is even though he knows you’re barely listening n able to focus anyways </3

He would most definitely spread your drool all over your lips too <///////3 he gets so so so warm inside at the way you love to let him play with you, and he really really likes hand feeding you :( peeling a mandarin for you n feeding you the slices but being so weird about it and making you bite them so he can have the other half and lick the juice off your face that squirted onto your chin when you bit down :(!

Any opportunity to be weird about your mouth and he’s there <3!

[takaispog]

posting this here too because some of you make me SO MAD.

[vulpinesaint]

man. that's crazy. #frenemies

[s4pphoiduser]

you make a snippy comment and she snips off your tongue

[dnangelic]

pity for dark-risa fans but hey at least anybody can soothe themselves for the narrative itself/daisuke with the knowledge that dark not only started off liking riku but also still steadfastly likes riku in the light novels and hell even when daisuke turns into dark in front of riku for the manga finale he conjugates his 'it's no good if it's not riku' in a way that dark also would, aka a way that would be worthy of an eng translation goth font just like his random 'i've gotta stop him!!' dark vc jumpscare in azumanoland arc. dark-daisuke merge haters forced to seethe when daisuke actually accepts ('becomes') dark as himself and dark likewise completely becomes daisuke. goodnight

[princesssarcastia]

god that post about child abuse got me thinking about a passage from a fantastic hal jordan/bruce wayne fic by @/fabula-unica, which is actually very sweet despite the excerpt i'm about to post. a few years ago I did my best to try and verify it and it seems like it's true, but i'll leave you with the caveat that i'm not 100% certain.

Anyway. Excerpt from Getting It Right, by fabularasa on ao3.

“I’ve been thinking about X-rays,” Bruce said, examining the edges of his cone. “X-rays,” Jordan said. “Mm hm. They used to use them for everything we now use CT, ultrasound, MRI for – they used to X-ray people for anything and everything, even pregnant women, before they understood the dangers of continued radiation exposure.” “Okay.” Bruce balled up his napkin and tossed it at the bin. He missed. “Unbelievable,” Jordan said, staring at his napkin. “How the fuck do you miss that.” “The breeze knocked me off course. Anyway, the thing is, when they started X-raying children, doctors saw the strangest thing. Almost every other child they X-rayed had multiple hairline fractures. It was incredible. It rearranged what doctors had thought about the growth and development of human bone, because how could pediatricians have missed all those breaks? America must be in the grip of massive undiagnosed malnutrition, is what they thought.” He gave his butter brickle another few licks. Jordan beside him was silent. “It wasn’t malnutrition,” Bruce said. “Americans were just systematically beating the shit out of their children, and had been for years, and no one ever knew about it or talked about it. They did it for no other reason than they could, and because they wouldn’t get caught. When doctors finally figured out what they were looking at, that’s when the term ‘child abuse’ was coined. You don’t see that phrase in any medical or popular literature before X-rays. Not incidentally the national child abuse epidemic was one of the reasons for the legalization of abortion in the early 70s – people assumed that children were being beaten because they were unwanted, and that if you could just solve that problem, then child abuse would go away. As if people beat children for any reason other than evil, and as if evil could be legislated out of existence.”

god. what a country we live in. what a world.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

I like to hurt EVERYONE’s feelings so here’s a really old note from Moth Work that would’ve led to the originally planned ending (which granted, is very similar to the actual ending). I’ve organized it so you can see who’s saying what:

H: Should I have come here? (Beat) What you [and Eliza] have I’ll never get. It’s something different. You move like you’ve known each other for years. Do you love her?

L: I’ve known her for a week.

H: But do you love her?

L: I feel like I’ve loved her for a long time. (Beat.) Did you love him? (Lonan asks referring to Jeremiah.) The man you left.

H: (Harrison shakes his head.) I couldn’t have, I was thinking about you.

And now I point you to when Lonan canonically goes “I’ve loved you for a long time” as noted above BUT IT’S TO HARRISON rather than Eliza (TEA):

Lonan takes hold of the guardian angel, and gingerly, like it’s fragile enough to crumple, brings it to his mouth and kisses it. His lip glints, just as the angel does, in the moonlight. He lets the angel fall, swaying like a pendulum, and pulls his hand back slowly. Quietly, he says, “I think I’ve loved you for a long time.”

AND Harrison in BODY BACK sticks to the script lol UNFORTUNATELY:

In the dark motel room, Harrison looks up at Jeremiah. He’s a good guy. A good friend. Looks even younger when asleep and even less aware.

“I love you,” Harrison whispers to the still air. He doesn’t even mean it. “I love you.”

One day, he hopes he’s nothing but a story Jeremiah tells. Someone to laugh at over mimosas, to curse while knee-to-knee with an improved lover. Jeremiah, this world doesn’t know what it has. Jeremiah, hold yourself dearly. Jeremiah, I’m not coming back. Jeremiah, forgive me when you’re older.

[serendipitous-mage]

......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier

[animentality]

Hi! Hope you're doing well! I'm curious... do you have any thoughts in modern AU durgetash??

It would be kind of funny if a modern day Dark Urge was a serial killer carving through people in New York City, and Police Commissioner Enver Gortash is the only one smart enough to catch them, but rather than arrest them, he tells them to stop the murders, and he'll pin it on some other guy, but from now on, the Dark Urge works for him.

But I have nothing else besides that, since they work so well in the fantasy setting.

[astranauticus]

btw now that ive gotten set me free out of my system womxnly by jolin tsai has become my new cpop translation white whale like not because the song itself is that impossible to translate but because i cannot think of any way for me to make a post about that song without getting completely sidetracked into a deranged rant about chinese pop culture's unceasing efforts to try and act as if that song's message about overcoming adversity and discrimination can be applicable to everyone and that it is not, in fact, explicitly a song about homophobic/transphobic violence

[afniel]

AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.

So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.

In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.

And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?

We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.

For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.

YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...

[walterdecourceys]

"some fans called and offered me a hundred grand to keep playing" it's true i was the fan