#he would not in fact do well with that truth and therefore i'm letting her take it with her

[tiredassmage]

when the deed was done

Well, ask and ye shall receive @captainderyn xD Relevant to interests, the all of 5 minute goodbye Cipher Nine should have gotten with their best Watcher-turned-Keeper. And yet it still hurts, its still bittersweet, there’s never enough time - let along a good time - for them. </3 I warn for nothing except that they needed more hugs and I might need more tissues. ;_;

And if anyone asks, I hate timelines. Send help. xD

Intelligence dismantled. The Star Cabal crumbling. It’s time to say goodbye.

“Keeper.”

She turned around, a smile already reaching across her lips before her brilliant brown eyes had even landed on him. The familiar brush of eye shadow wasn’t enough to hide the darkness around them from him, but then they’d both looked a hell of a lot better than this.

Whatever greeting she was going to return was lost as Nine quickly covered the few final feet between them and she was enveloped against his chest, carefully cradled in his arms gripping around her as tight as they could without hurting her - as if he was somewhere between cautiously terrified she’d vanish if he didn’t hold her down and worried that any further pressure might break her where she stood.

Shara smiled as she buried her face against his chest and allowed her fingers to twist into his jacket. “Well, it’s good to see you, too, Cipher Nine.”

One hand carded carefully through her hair. His breaths were stuttered and measured. Shara nestled against him a bit more and simply waited.

“I couldn’t very well leave without saying goodbye to my Keeper, could I?” Slowly, he extricated himself from the embrace, drawing back to gently frame her face.

“I’m not that fragile, Cipher,” she said, gently brushing her fingers over his knuckles. The marks of Corellia had faded - no doubt Doctor Lokin's insistence paying off. He'd been restless during their final preparations.

Twice in a matter of weeks had she sent him into the fires, then. Time really should have only made it easier.

She didn’t have qualms with mission parameters. It wasn’t a part of her programming - who she was, and surely she had suggested worse than potentially sacrificing a single officer to avert a galaxy consuming war. And there had certainly been enough pressure, given the circumstances. Loathe as she was to admit it, her recovery was taking its toll and was slower than she would have liked.

It’s what she’d tried to tell herself, anyway. But this was Nine. Her Cipher Nine.

Concern deepened the knit of his brow. “Are you alright?” His eyes narrowed. “And don’t give me any of that scripted nonsense. I know you’re capable, Keeper. But I-”

She allowed him to see a tired smile, tapping a finger lightly against his lips to silence him. “I’ll manage, Nine,” she said. “I’ll just need time.”

“Of course.” A faint breath left him that might have been a chuckle, had it been given more space. “I won’t take too much. Minister says I need to get out of here. Back to work, I’m sure.”

“As will we all.” Shara breathed a quiet sigh, letting her gaze drop with his. A free hand toyed lightly with the neck of his jacket, feigning at straightening it. It’d look different for all of them. Even she found herself hard pressed to imagine just how, exactly, the future was going to look without Intelligence. They’d seen their better days.

It was hard to imagine it’d only been some three years ago that the Minister had properly introduced her to her latest agent - even harder to picture her doubts of him at the time, not that they’d ever been personal, exactly.

But here he was, despite it all.

“We’ll see each other again.”

She smiled weakly. “You’ll be fine,” she said. She patted a hand against his chest and looked back up, catching those pale gray eyes one more time. “You’ve always been a resourceful one, Cipher Nine.”

“Shara-”

She shook her head and pressed a finger over his lips again. It was something, wasn’t it? To see him so earnest before her - a strain across his brow over widened crystal eyes she’d seen so swiftly deceive so many times. It’d be easy to say she’d lost count of the hours she’d spent monitoring his work, guarding his every movement, though it’d almost certainly be a lie.

That was okay, though. It was a part of them. Always had been. Probably always would be.

But she could not let him break their one shared silence. Not like this. Not at such an uncertain end.

“You’ve done enough, Tyr. I promise.”

His eyes searched hers for a moment longer before they dropped to the thumb he caressed along her jaw. It was better this way. Whatever happened next, she doubted the Empire was finished with either of them. This way, at least, there wasn’t anything to hold them back.

They’d sold worse lies before.

“You should go,” she said. “But-” She tucked a few fingers under his chin.

And he understood the rest. He ducked to linger in a slow kiss, trailing after her, along her lips like a slow rain on the windows back on Dromund Kaas. For only a minute longer, they chased the few elusive nights that had grounded the last three years.

And all too soon, time was up yet again.

“Take care of yourself, Shara. Please. For me?” He framed her face gently one final time, eyes closed as his forehead rested against hers.

“Stay alive.” She pushed against his chest, coaxing him to step away. “The job’s not finished, Cipher.”

“It never is, is it?” A faint smile flickered across his lips before Cipher Nine gave her a final salute. “I’ll damn well try just about anything for you, Keeper.”

“See that you do. Dismissed, agent.”

[sunshine-jesse]

The Incest End is Not The Bad End, Part 2: The Sane Ending Is Still A Bad Ending

In the first essay I wanted to deconstruct the idea that Ashley was the sole perpetrator of abuse. I wanted to take a look at how unhealthy their dynamic actually was and lay out clear indications that Ashley could, at the very least, fix her own problems, and wasn't a lost cause. I also wanted to show that them ending up together, be it romantically, in death, or even platonically (although I'm not convinced the Sane Burial ending can lead to that) was inevitable.

Here, however, I want to make a more difficult argument: That their relationship turning romantic is not just Not That Bad, but actually Good, at least in the context of what's best for the two of them in the long run. And to do that, I'm going to draw comparisons to the common narrative that it's the bad ending, again. I think it's the easiest way to explain my points, even though it might make me seem like I'm being contrarian or playing the Devil's Advocate.

But I'm not. I actually do think this is the only way they can heal. Why?

WELL.

My biggest driving factor for this belief is and always has been the difference in tone between the two endings. The 'correct' ending under conventional understandings of morality and relationships would be one where he breaks away from Ashley, but the only ending in which that's shown to be possible is the Decay ending. In the ending where Ashley has bullets in the gun (and therefore has control over the situation), she has to yield control over the situation to Andrew, and (going off the reading I established in the last essay) he understands and accepts just how much their dynamic means to him and how important Ashley really is to him.

In a sense, he self-actualizes in the same way he does in the Burial ending: Ashley yields control where it matters the most in both, resulting in him he fully understanding and accepting himself and what he wants, because Ashley's controlling nature no longer prevents him from seeing the truth. Ashley no longer casts a shadow that allows him to be blind to his true nature- his true desires.

In the Burial ending, he wants her either romantically and sexually (in the questionable ending) or as a friend (in the sane one). He lets go of his own need to control her, and accepts the fact that he was never better than her to begin with. In the Gun!Decay ending, he wants her dead. The damage has been done. Whatever final line was crossed made him realize that he can't control Ashley, and a world in which she cannot be controlled is one better off without her.

But in both, he can't live without her.

The tone of the Decay ending is tense. It's dismal. It's emotionally ravaging. Andrew is not acting like someone who wants to break free, he's acting like someone who has given up. He's angry and he's suicidal, but he no longer has any reservations about making intimate physical contact with Ashley.

…and Ashley looks terrified and sad, especially in the last screenshot, which gives off some seriously dark implications about what Andrew might do to her in the Decay route.

He's given up on healing. He's given up on being normal. His heart and his mind both Decay as he's dragged along by an Ashley who's doing whatever she can to try to not allow a murder-suicide to happen and only making it worse in the process, because SHE has no foundation through which to improve or change her perspective on the world, either (more on that below).

In the NoGun!Decay ending, we don't know what he does after. He fails to self-actualize because Ashley never yields that need for control, and he follows the same pattern he always does of resorting to violence the moment he thinks he's losing control. I highly doubt that the ending would be much different- he'd probably just mirror Ashley's reaction of violently kicking the body at first, but he probably wouldn't last long after. Both, in an attempt to regain control or save their own lives, feel temporary relief at the death of the other, because they no longer feel trapped and afraid of what will happen if they leave.

But they also both fail to come into their own as people. Their dynamic- of Ashley being the morally bankrupt one willing to do anything to further their own survival, and Andrew being the one who's careful and calculating and preventing her short-sightedness from causing unintentional consequences- was the only thing that allowed them to survive in the first chapter, and more than likely the second (we don't see the consequences of them not having the trinket's power in ep2 so it's impossible to say for sure). If they don't kill themselves after losing the other and failing to self-actualize, it's almost certain that the world will eat them alive. They're outlaws, on the run, and have nobody to lean on but themselves. Without each other to lean on, it's only a matter of time until they fall.

So. The Decay ending is very obviously bad. There is no freedom to be had from them breaking away from the other; only despair and death. There's catharsis to be had in miserable people meeting a miserable end, sure, but the story goes out of its way to show us that the path to that end will be miserable and unfun and horrifying with the only joy to be derived from it coming from pure schadenfreude. But the story itself makes it clear that this is not intended to be a happy ending and thinking of it as such means you're fundamentally incompatible with what it's trying to convey. It's just a horrifying tragedy of two people who never gave each other what they needed to heal and tore down everything around them in the process.

So, how is the Burial ending better?

The lighter tone is immediately obvious. Ashley trusts Andrew to believe in her, and Andrew goes up to bat for Ashley even in the face of an arguably superficial offer to improve his life; to start it anew. The two just generally have a good time together afterwards, joking around, having fun, and ribbing on each other in a way that comes off as playful rather than hurtful. Andrew, finally, makes progress towards -healing,- because he finally stopped lying to himself about how important Ashley is to him. Why do I think it's a sign of healing, exactly?

Because Andrew, for the first time in the story, is comfortable with what he's doing.

He's comfortable with dismembering their parents. He's rarely tense, hesitates much less, and comforts Ashley instead of just seeking comfort from her. He gives more than just temporary emotional validation; a lot more. So much more, in fact, that it makes ASHLEY uncomfortable. She has difficulty processing not having their push and pull dynamic. She thinks something is off, something is wrong, because she's never seen Andrew so comfortable around her before, or at least lacking reservations in showing that comfort.

She still thinks about the idea of controlling him, of trying to get him to stay. There's internal monologue about it. But that's the difference. Before, we rarely see any internal monologue of her thought patterns- she just acts. Not thinks. But here, she's unsure. Here, she has to look inward. She has to self-reflect. She still frames it as her trying to keep Andy around, but Andrew is making it obvious in both words and actions that he will always be there for her, and he's so COMFORTABLE about it.

Regardless of what her actions in episode 3 end up being, it's still clear to me that the foundation for her to heal is there. She's safe, because she has a warm, comfortable place to return to while she figures herself out.

"So," you might be asking, "doesn't this imply that she'll heal no matter what? Doesn't that make incest technically unnecessary?"

Yes and no. Yes, in the fact that we still see a marked improvement in their dynamic in the Refusal path.

No, in that the Sane ending's tone is still much different.

After the dream sequence, Andrew reveals that he never fell asleep. He never sees that vision. He still self-actualizes to some degree, probably, but he never has his desires laid so bare for him because he doesn't dream. But you have to place sunlight on the left side to see this, so it still leads me to believe that they still grasp the importance of their relationship in that ending. It's just that…

I don't think that they ever, truly heal. I think that they just grow distant. I'll elaborate on what I think that means later down the line.

In the Sane ending, they have much less fun with each other. They don't playfully rib on each other as much- the eulogy in particular seems more spiteful than playful- and they're much less physically affectionate towards each other. It's not dismal. It's not dark or depressing. It's not tense. It's just… there. It's boring. Nothing has changed, and neither has Andrew, which Ashley views him not sleeping as a sign of.

But in the Questionable ending, he -does- sleep.

So what does sleep mean here? It means he can't sleep if he feels he's missing something. It means something is lacking in his life. Something is missing. Is it Ashley's affection? Well, yes, but also not just that. Ashley is just a representation of what he needs: Comfort. Someone to rely on. Someone he know won't leave him. I believe they have the same needs, and those needs just manifest differently. Andrew never had to worry about Ashley leaving him because Ashley was so obsessive that she managed to fill in the all-consuming void that mental illness creates.

But I think in the Sane ending, he starts to doubt that. In the Sane ending, he starts to shake his desire for Ashley. Which is great, right? It means they can finally go down a more conventional, safe path and have a relationship that's societally acceptable. The safe, boring ending that normies would enjoy.

But the fact that he doesn't sleep means that, even if he shakes that desire, he can't shake the need for what she provides.

Because he never sees the vision, he never gets that confirmation that he can pursue a more physically affectionate relationship with Ashley, and given that physical affection is a huge part of the equation for making him feel comfortable and happy (see: the couch scene, where he's the happiest he is in the whole game before the Burial route), he never truly believes he can seek it from her. He never gets it from the one person he trusts to always be around. He never gets that final affirmation that it's okay to be with the one person who has always mattered to him the most, and always will.

If we're to take the scenes at the end of episode 2 as metaphors for what will happen- or has to happen- for the siblings to get the best outcome for their well being (even at the expense of others), then the Questionable route involves Ashley loosening her grip on Andrew and having him naturally fill in the roles she wanted him to all along. But in the Sane route, Ashley bottles up every soul see shes, aside from what's commonly assumed to be Andrew's, who she is uncharacteristically cavalier about letting go.

She's still the same. She still wants to entrap people, and never let them go. She just happens to no longer want to do it to Andrew. She never fundamentally changes. And Andrew?

His soul has nothing to say. It's pitch black. It almost looks demonic, having literally the same color scheme as the Entity and Lord Unknown. If it's already demonic, then it stands to reason that a demon wouldn't want it, because it's just more of the same. Nothing special, nothing they would want, nothing that would be useful to them. In other words… just like Ashley?

He has- or will have- a tar soul.

And what does tar do?

It sticks.

It's the Sane path to take because it involves them conforming to societal expectations. It involves them fitting in, acting as they should, and doing what's expected of them without much fuss. But in the world they're in, they're expected to harm everyone around them. To kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. To never become themselves, and never be truly happy. To never ask questions.

And they'll do all of that, whether they stick together or not. The only difference is how many people they stand to hurt, and whether they're truly happy at the end of it all.

There's a reason the souls of one of the parents- commonly thought to be Mrs. Graves- was unhatched. She probably wanted to love her children. Even Ashley. She just never did, because the world never let her be herself. She never became whole, because it would've resulted in her being too dark to fit into society. But the siblings have a chance to do so. They have a chance to truly focus on each other so they can heal and become better, happier, more complete people in a world that's doing everything it can to incentivize otherwise.

It's just a bit unfortunate for some that Andrew has to fill a hole to become whole.

[warping-realities]

Commitment - Part I

"I thought you liked my body."

Peter said with a slightly hurt tone of voice into the phone as he looked at the video of the overly muscular man that took up most of the device screen advertising a personal training studio that had recently opened near his apartment.

"I like you, babe, but it's just that you spend so much time at work and... well... I'll be honest, I've always liked your thin appearance... but in the last few months you've been growing a belly. It's no big deal ...but you know how much dedication I put into my body, just for you. A little reciprocity would be nice. Do this for me baby, I've already scheduled an appointment for you.

" Concluded the voice on the phone, belonging to Julia, Peter's longtime girlfriend. The two met while still in college and he always wondered what a woman with a sculptural physique and a beauty worthy of the catwalks saw in him. Not that he wasn't attractive, with his elegant face and slim body, coupled with the air of class and sophistication that many rich people seem to carry with them without even realizing it. Still, the difference between the two in terms of attraction was huge. Which made many people whisper that she was nothing more than a gold digger. But Peter preferred to turn a deaf ear to those comments because he really loved Julia and wouldn't accept that kind of conversation. In fact, he loved her so much that even against his nature he found himself putting on gym clothes and going to the address indicated in the pamphlet.

Furthermore, Julia knew him very well and had pressed the right button to force him to do what she wanted, appealing to his commitment to their relationship.

Arriving at the indicated location, Peter realized that the studio was a small room with some equipment and thus understood that Julia was thinking about his inhibitions when choosing that place. Despite coming from an influential family and being forced to participate from an early age in the most different social events, he had a real horror of exposing himself.

Therefore, a small studio like that would be the place where he would feel at least a little more comfortable. But perhaps she had purposely ignored another of Peter's horrors: intimidating muscular men, which was precisely the case with the gigantic guy standing with his arms crossed in the center of the room wearing the same shirt and making a pose identical to the one in the ad Peter had seen earlier.

Peter justified to himself that this would be the standard expected of a personal trainer, but that didn't change the feeling of absolute fear that had overcome him the moment he laid eyes on that figure.

The monstrous guy opened a smile that exuded so much self-confidence that it was overflowing with arrogance.

"Hey man, I'm Dan, you must be Pete, right?" The instructor asked as if he were intimate with

Peter and making the mistake that was perhaps the only thing that gave him the courage to speak out, calling him by his diminutive.

"Peter. I'm Peter Wexhan and I like to be called by my name."

"Wow man, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I just wanted to break the ice since we're going to spend some time together." Dan said without letting his smile falter.

"I-I don't know if we'll go... I just thought about taking a experimental class." Peter replied.

"Nah, you'll see, once the iron bug bites you there won't be any return. So, the girl who arranged the class for you mentioned that the goal is to lose some belly fat, is that it?"

"Julia, the girl's name is Julia. My girlfriend and that's what she would like..."

"But what about you, what would you like? You are my client!" The truth is, Peter would rather be home. But he didn't have the courage to say that for fear of the big man in front of him and of

disappointing his girlfriend.

"I...that's what I want."

"Dude, you need to learn to assert yourself, man. And you know a great way to assert yourself, grow up!" Dan said, flexing his powerful muscles pushing his shirt to the limit, stretching it so much that it became transparent, exposing the glory that was hidden by the thin layer of fabric.

"I... I.." Peter began, not knowing what to say as he looked at that pile of stacked muscles with wide eyes.

"I'm kidding Peter. Who am I to say what you should or shouldn't do? Although I think a real man needs to know how to impose himself, I also think he also needs to know how to please a woman."

Once again, not knowing what to say, Peter preferred to remain silent. Giving Dan space to ask the question he would know was coming.

"So, Peter Wexhan... any relation to Senator Frank Wexhan?"

"Yes, I am his son."

"Wow, one of my first clients will be someone important."

"My father is important, I'm just a regular guy." Peter replied, knowing that as much as he wanted it to be real, it didn't actually match reality. After all, besides his father being a senator, his family was extraordinarily rich and Dan certainly knew that. But demonstrating more professionalism than the interaction between the two up until that moment made it clear that it would be possible, the instructor did not comment anything about it, preferring to continue the class.

"Let me work with you for a while and you will be anything but regular. And the best time to start is now. He responded with a new smile before putting Peter to perform the greatest physical effort of his life up to that point.

While helping him, Dan tried to start a conversation with Peter. He talked about cars, football, parties, all subjects with which the other had no affinity whatsoever.

"What do you mean you don't have a football team? Not even the one from your college?”

"It was never something I was interested in, sorry."

"Stop apologizing for everything man, although really in this case you have to apologize. Just kidding!!! But weren't you at least going to see the cheerleaders?" Dan asked, delving into another delicate subject, women. Julia had been the only woman in Peter's life and he adored her. He saw no reason to look at or even think about other women. So deep was his commitment.

Upon hearing this, Dan just smiled again and corrected Peter's posture, resuming his focus on the exercises. Making the latter amazed at how good the other was at his job and how quickly this was showing. At the end of the session his arms, shoulders and legs are looking slightly bulkier and he can't help but give himself a self admiring look in the mirror at how good looking he was making his opinion of Dan improve a lot. Sure, he was the kind of guy that Peter preferred to stay away from all his life, but now he saw that he could be someone fun and with whom he could interact. So much so that he ended up scheduling a new session for the following day. Saying goodbye to the other man with a hand shake and going home with the impression that in the end all in all, that was a great decision.

Upon arriving at the simple but comfortable apartment he shared with Julia instead of his family's currently uninhabited mansion, he found himself invaded by a hunger he had never felt before. Looting everything he had in the fridge and cupboards, and without taking a shower, he lay in the couch devouring everything he had looted while flipping through one channel after another on the television until finally stopping at a game of university football for his college team, which he began to watch, while he absently massaged his sore muscles, with a feeling of pleasure bordering on sexual. And that's how Julia found him two hours later when she arrived home.

"Hey babe... what's that smell? What's going on?? Peter you stink!"

That was her comment when she saw her boyfriend lying on the sofa in the living room, which at that moment was infected by the pungent smell of masculinity.

"Sorry babe, I got home from the and lost track of time." Peter replied as he smelled his ownarmpits and made a face. "Eww, I really stink."

"Peter, I can't believe you sat all dirty on my couch!"

"My couch, the apartment is mine and I can lie on my sofa and watch football however I want!" He

responded aggressively, scaring his girlfriend and himself in the process."

"Sorry babe, I don't know what came over me, let me take a shower and make up for it. I'll cookyour favorite dish for you."

The rest of the night passed without any major incidents, with the two having dinner and making small talk and ending up in bed where he rewarded Julia with the best fucking she had had in a long time.

To be continued…

[maarrgarr]

The Unknown Heir

part three

masterlist of the Unknown Heir.

Gojo Satoru x fem! reader

Synopsis: The reader returns after being gone for two years and leaving her boyfriend, Satoru, without giving him a reason. But now she doesn't come back alone.

Warnings: English is not my first language, possible grammatical and spelling mistakes, some plot changes.

A year and a few more months passed since that event, and it seemed that karma was taking its revenge.

That sweet lady who had given you a job in her real estate agency had died of a heart attack. Although at first it seemed that her children were going to take over the business, they all declared that none of them could since they already had their respective jobs. And so you were left without a job.

It was a very hard blow, not only the loss of your job, but also the death of that lady whom you considered a mother.

Although you had your savings, you hated the fact of being left without a fixed income, so you started looking for a job, but this time you had no luck. Many of the jobs were part-time, and you didn't like the idea of leaving Ryusei with someone else for so long. And the ones that weren't part-time, didn't want to hire you as soon as they heard you had a son who was almost two years old. And to top it off, none of them could offer you a salary even close to what you had when you worked at the agency.

"I don't know what to do" you said frustrated to Ieiri through the call, "Well, you always have a very reliable option to choose from" she told you, while you were preparing food for Ryusei, "Oh yeah? which one?", "You can always go back and practice as a teacher here" you let out a laugh, thinking she was joking, but you stopped when you realized she was serious, "Ieiri, it's not an option to go back, tell me, how am I going to show up at school with a two year old, who happens to look like a copy of my ex-boyfriend, Gojo Satoru, who it should be clarified also teaches there? it's crazy". Of course you had thought about going back, from the first moment you did, but you didn't have the guts to face Satoru and tell him the truth. "Y/n, are you seriously thinking of not telling him, you said it yourself, Ryu is a copy of his father and therefore, surely, he's going to have the same skills as Satoru, and that makes him the future heir of the Gojo clan", there was silence in the call and she spoke again "Besides you not only have to go back for that, you also have to claim your place in your clan, your father disappeared more than a year ago and you're still the only heir". You got a shudder when you heard that, you weren't interested in claiming anything and you didn't think it was right to do so either.

"Think about it, you know I can talk to Yaga-sensei and I'm sure he will be very happy to welcome you here again." Masamichi Yaga, besides having been your teacher, was like a dad to you, he always understood you and helped you in everything, you remembered how Satoru always bothered you saying that Yaga-sensei had a preference with you and it wasn't a lie.

"Okay, I'll think about it" you told her, "Alright, I'll call you later, say hi to my cute nephew" she replied. "When he stops eating and pays attention to me, I'll tell him you said hi" you heard her laugh on the other end of the line, "Bye Ieiri" and they both hung up.

You walked over to your son and stroked his white, slightly messy hair, but he continued to eat and watch a children's program on the TV. "Hey Ryu" he finally looked up at you, his big little eyes that seemed to reflect the sky, just like his father's, and the corner of his mouth a little smeared with food, almost killed you with tenderness, "Would you like to go live near Aunt Ieiri?" you asked him and his eyes seemed to sparkle more than usual, and a smile formed on his face, showing his little teeth, "Yes, yes!" he replied. Ryusei adored Shoko, even though he didn't know her in person, he loved talking to her on video call and loved when she sent him toys as gifts.

Even though you were so scared, you made up your mind. You were going back to Japan. You needed work and maybe it was time to face the problems you left behind when you ran away.

And mostly, it was time to tell Satoru the truth.

Hii, I am very happy for the support I am receiving and I thank you very much🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷.

I was just dropping by to tell you that the question box is open for any request you want to ask me!

@idktbhloley

[sendothetaurus]

Scaramouche deserved better

This is kind of a hot take on chapter III of the archon quest.

I love theorizing and picking things apart, so please don't come for me bhfwlahwlxnfl.

It might be useful to have some knowledge about what has happened so far. (This post is very long, also SPOILERS)

Remember, this is an opinion, not a fact or an offence against anybody. This has nothing to do with the cn drama. This is just me nitpicking at the story lol

The erasure of Scaramouche’s past was unnecessary.

In hindsight, it is a repetitive plot line, already established with the “death” of Greater Lord Rukkhadevata. She ceased because she eliminated the forbidden knowledge and therefore stopped the withering in Irminsul. In context, her disappearance made sense. With Scaramouche, however, it doesn’t: All the carefully thought through occurrences, all the relationships and connections between characters are annihilated in the process of changing Scaramouche’s past. Did it matter that Ei left her almost literal son alone? No, because she doesn’t remember. Did it matter that Niwa and Mikoshi Nagamasa accepted and perhaps loved the Kabukimono? No, because they are long dead and they have forgotten that he even existed. Did it matter that he found out the truth about Dottore’s murder? No, because Niwa died in the furnace instead, or so everyone believes. Why let everyone forget he killed hundreds of swordsmiths only to retell the truth? It would have made more sense if it wasn’t even erased in the first place. The only thing remaining for the Wanderer is the agony that nobody remembers except for a chosen few and himself. If anything, he only brought suffering upon himself. In the end, a very huge part of character development is lost this way.

By erasing himself, Scaramouche didn’t achieve anything.

If he hadn’t forgotten himself, there would be no rescue arc for him. He hadn’t changed his mind about the Traveler at that point in the story. In Act III, Inversion of Genesis, The Night-Bird Falls at the Curtain's Call, Scaramouche specifically states:

“...Or maybe killing me is all you can think about? But if that's the case, why haven't you done it already? [...] Sometimes it's you using them, other times it's them using you. Most human relationships are this way... certainly all the stable ones are. That's how it was between me and the Fatui, and also between each of the Harbingers. So as long as you have some value to offer, nobody will ever abandon you. But after recent events, even I have to admit that I'm not worth quite what I used to be…”

What I take from this are three things: Scaramouche acknowledges the Traveler as a threat. He uses Nahida’s deal as a backup for his own safety because providing utility to others is what he defines as a stable relationship. He also accepts his position as inferior - for the time being. This is the start of the turning point.

The Wanderer later says in Act III, Inversion of Genesis, As Though Morning Dew:

“Even if I'm completely worthless, there's nothing in the world worth regretting. [...] Utility to others is what gives me worth. So if embracing my sins is what it takes to make me useful again, so be it. [...] Sorry if I have a slightly different perspective on things. [...] Well, whatever your reasons, you did me a favor, and I'll do everything I can to pay it back. [...] Borrowing and returning are the only real relationships between individuals. I'll balance the books one day, don't you worry.”

He didn’t change his view of relationships, as much is clear. This logically drives him to “repay the favor” the Traveler did for him. Fueled by his unchanging way of understanding a true and kind-hearted relationship, it sounds like the Wanderer just atones for his sins because someone (in this case Nahida; she concludes: “In all honesty, your past experiences have made you a useful asset to Sumeru and to me. Winning you over was indeed a part of my plan.”) wants him to. This again makes him a puppet to his circumstance, instead of empowering him to make the right choice on his own. His whole life, it was the circumstance that created the scornful being he became in the end (this is a reference to the three betrayals and his relationship with the Fatui). His will to be “of use” actually hindered him in finding a path that is not influenced by others. Him realizing this would be a satisfying and meaningful way to change the tides of the storyline and would carry an important message.

The existence of the Wanderer doesn’t make sense.

It is unclear how much control Scaramouche had over the creation of the Wanderer and if he was involved in the changes that were made around Teyvat. Irminsul has its limits on what it can and cannot change. Then again, I feel like the fact that he forgot himself was merely a catalyst for the current events, speeding up the pace for him to switch sides. Did the Wanderer just wake up the morning Paimon forgot about Scaramouche? How did he exit Irminsul if he forgot everything? Where do his clothes come from? Why was he in the wilderness when he woke up? We don’t know what life the Wanderer believed to have lived before regaining his memories, which is a major plot hole that could be filled in the future. But arguably the most jarring thing about the Wanderer is his personality.

What purpose does the character serve story-wise? For sure, it’s displaying a contrast between the two entities, the yin to the yang one could say. Maybe it’s meant as a “what could have been” or as an example for gratitude and affability, traits which Scaramouche never possessed. How can it be that someone so cruel and relentless carries something so pure at heart inside of him? If it hadn’t been for all the betrayals maybe this is what we would have gotten instead. It shows how the world changed Scaramouche when he felt powerless in the face of hardship. Which is why he defined his worth as the acknowledgement and utility to others - because he couldn’t find it within himself. Because he felt inferior to everything and everyone from his birth to his procession of achieving Godhood. And in the end, he lost everything but his body.

This consequently motivates the Wanderer to seek the truth about his past. Through him we get insight on both Scaramouche’s and Wanderer’s thoughts:

“I don't think I can judge everything I've heard purely in terms of right and wrong. Each choice a person makes belongs to a specific place and time, a chain of cause and effect... a cycle of karma and consequence. [...] I'm just a puppet, with no heart and no name. There is nothing in this world for me to cling to, to fill the void within me... except maybe these sins that can never be undone. [...] I've always believed that human lives follow a set of rules, with each person being a collection of past experiences. As a puppet living in the human world, my life is subject to the same rules. [...]  I've lived with a void in my chest my whole life. My creator didn't need me, and ever since I awoke, I've just drifted from one place to the next. [...] I've always felt I have an innate tendency to yearn for something more, in a way that goes deeper than for most people... But for all my soul-searching as a shugenja, I've never fully understood it. Looking at it now, it seems that I brought this curse upon myself.”

This is the first and only time the Wanderer admits this to himself; that he was searching for something that ultimately led him to his demise. After regaining his memories, he reverts to his old self, as explained above. Even if it is a very clever way to make the character consistent throughout the story, I wished we would have seen some character development, especially of Scaramouche since he’s the one filling The Wanderers consciousness.

I thought about how it would be to remember two lifetimes in one body: Even if someone told you what you did in another life, would that change who you are now? Then what if you had memories of that other life inside you, would that erase the you that is currently existing? This is why I don’t agree with Nahida’s statement:

“If you accept that he is you, just as you are you, then yes - you are evil.”

It feeds into the fact that The Wanderer’s personality later resembles the one of Scaramouche. The Wanderer accepts that he is “evil” and has to “face the music”. Again, he takes responsibility for Scaramouche’s past because his will to be of utility to others presses him to do it. Clearly, in this moment he had the chance to turn his back on his past and instead live on as the more kind and benevolent version of himself. I would have liked to spend more time with the soft Wanderer, the one that was born with a pure “heart”, the one who learned to love instead of hate. It would have left a bitter-sweet feeling because he would be content like this, never truly understanding why he inflicted these cruel things on others.

Let's look at this from yet another perspective: What if Scaramouche wanted to forget about the deaths, the betrayals at the cost of losing the memory of his friends too? Wouldn’t that have been a far greater punishment? To know that you willingly wipe out every single last teardrop and every single spark of joy? On the other hand, I understand why other people would despise this ending because Scaramouche would never really have to feel any lasting consequence for what he did. He would just be “neutralized”.

The alternation of Irminsul’s records has differing effects.

The Doctor still did the experiments, so the results must be in his possession. Despite not knowing who he experimented with, The Doctor would still have knowledge of how to create a God. This can be concluded because Paimon accidentally broke a vase when she was worried about Scaramouche. After “changing” the past, the vase is still broken. This indicates that the general memory of everyone changed, however the world remained the same. All objects are still the way they were before the change occurred. This is an interesting concept of changing the past, but it doesn’t add up with what happens in the plot. After Scaramouche’s meddling with Irminsul’s records, the Traveler meets Aqaba and Sawada, whose research was altered in favor of erasing Scaramouche. However, this shouldn’t be possible according to what we learn at the end of the story when the mysterious voice talks to the Traveler.

“History does not change easily, but human hearts can. Believe your own eyes. Only that which you see is true. What is unseen is but an illusion.”

Irminsul can change what people believe, meaning knowledge and wisdom, not real objects, occurrences and consequences  - is what I suspect. Regardless, the voice also says:

“Unfortunately, the fate of Teyvat cannot easily be changed. Perhaps a god may have a slim chance, but for anyone else... who can say. When a small animal runs into a tree trunk, though the tree may sway, it is not displaced. The same is true of fate. Like a vase that falls to the ground. Whether it is broken by a cat or by a bird, the result is still a broken vase, is it not?”

The statement is true to what happened when Scaramouche tried to rescue his friends so that they would survive Il Dottore’s attack. They died either way, despite the Kabukimono “not being there”.

The Doctor’s power remains unclear.

He himself admits while negotiating with Nahida:

“A long time ago, I made a major decision in hopes of preserving all my perspectives of how I observed the world. Observation is the first step of any experiment, but observing the current world doesn't satisfy me. It lacks an important dimension — that of time. So I saved "segments" of all my ages, and made them into independent individuals… [...] What you request of me is like plucking out the eyes I have placed in the dimension of time. [...] Besides, with my abilities, it's only a matter of time until I find better "perspectives." Perhaps it's best to say... you're just temporarily ahead.”

The Travel Log specifies:

“As Nahida closes her eyes, many voices enter her consciousness: Some are young, some are old, some are angry, and some are helpless... All of them are the voices of The Doctor's segments, each derived from him at a different age.”

From what I understand, the Doctor has created segments, that each are positioned in a specific point in time to keep an eye on certain events, and with whom he can communicate. Since the Doctor is able to see through time, it would be possible for him to relive the past without the interference of Irminsul, as it merely changes the memories of the people. For the Doctor it would be possible to recount the truth because he would see it with his own eyes. This is what makes his segments all the more dangerous to the fate of Teyvat. However, the Doctor clarifies that he can find other ways to watch time, and the annihilation of his segments just set him back temporarily. With that said, he’s one of a few people who are unaffected by alternation of Irminsul, just like the Descenders. The question is if he can control these segments to even change how some occurrences took place - which would give him the power to literally change the past. With this in mind, there is a possibility that Scaramouche could be able to save his friends. It would give him a reason to pursue the Doctor and to work together with the Traveler. It would be an interesting concept for them to acquire the Doctor’s power to go back in time and to see the real consequence. But for the Doctor to be able to “alter” fate, he must become a God himself. At least, this is what the mysterious voice tells the Traveler. Another possibility is for the Wanderer and the Traveler to encounter the God of Time or an equally powerful entity. However, this is just speculation.

***

If you've read all this, thank you so much for your time ♥

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Storm/The Eye, Pt. 6

Upon hearing that Sheppard managed to cut the power to the gate room and having apparently crippled the Genii strike force, McKay also shifts to a higher gear. He tells Weir that if called upon, she needs to lie for him. He realizes that they need to help Sheppard any way they can, knows that he's not very good at that kind of thing and also knows Weir is a world-class negotiator, so he anticipates what they're going to have to do and makes sure that she knows to do her part.

And even then, when called upon to do it and believing himself a terrible liar ("I'm a terrible bluffer. I've lost small fortunes at poker. Look, my eye twitches, I laugh inappropriately, it's not pretty"), he immediately jumps in to reinforce the lie Weir tells Kolya. All to help Sheppard.

McKay says that he's a terrible liar. He believes that he's a terrible liar. But we see again and again that he can pull it off quite well when it's really needed.*

And Sheppard also seems to be trying to help them (or him, thinking Weir is dead), managing to cut power to the grounding station, too. It's possible that this was motivated by his belief that the Genii would need McKay to fix it and hence continue keeping him around and therefore alive. You can see that while McKay was having real trouble bluffing, as soon as the power is cut, he's able to use the truth much better to stall the Genii. Like Sheppard actually did help him, unwittingly, to do something he wasn't able to do without his help.

Again, it's very noticeable that when Kolya tells his people to "take Sheppard with overwhelming force" when their reinforcements arrive, he is looking directly at McKay.

Why? Why does keep looking at McKay every time he mentions Sheppard? What possible reason would he have to do that if not to gauge his reaction to Sheppard's name being spoken? To let him know through a look that he better not try any funny business because they're going to get the Major sooner or later. He's looking at McKay when he says this even though Weir was the one just lying to his face.

Also noticeable: we keep getting shots of Sheppard doing his little commando routine, and he seems extremely focused. Not upset, not mourning, not enraged. Focused. He is executing a strategy methodically. He also has the life signs detector on him the whole time and keeps glancing at it. While he's using it to look at the whereabouts of Genii soldiers, the fact that he cut power to the grounding station suggests that he had a pretty good idea that one of the three dots there was likely McKay. Keeping an eye on him the only way he knew how. If the Genii were able to discern which life sign was Sheppard earlier, it follows that Sheppard likely would have been able to discern which dot is Rodney, especially having much more experience using it.

This is lampshaded by the conversation Ford and Beckett have in the jumper bay:

Ford: Life signs detector. Beckett: These wee dots don't tell us much about who's who. How do we know which one's the major? Ford: He'll be the dot getting rid of the other dots.

Ford knows his commanding officer. But Sheppard also knows McKay. As we've seen, he knows McKay well enough to anticipate his actions.

This, again, is lampshaded later in the episode as Beckett tells Ford: "I really only have a basic understanding of how Rodney and his team configure the power." Sheppard may or may not be more intelligent than Beckett, we're never really shown or told either way. Sheppard is not a mechanical engineer. But he's still able to figure out exactly how McKay has set up the generators probably because watching McKay work is like his favourite pastime.

Sheppard then kills fifty five (55) people by lowering the shield as the Genii company are attempting to enter. Fifty five actual human beings.

Pop quiz: did he do this a) to avenge the death of an authority figure (as a man with a known problem with authorities) he was ready to send to another galaxy in the previous episode and whose presence he had largely ignored returning from his earlier mission and in Rodney's lab earlier or b) to save a man he hand-picked for his team, who has saved his life at least twice, who he keeps talking about to other people, whose company he seeks out in his free time, he can't stop looking at, is physically drawn to, whose abilities he has blind faith in, who he has observed keenly enough to be able to anticipate his actions, who he keeps poking good-natured fun at, expects to finish his sentences, and is a vital asset to the entire mission?

I wonder.

Anyway, again something Sheppard does makes Kolya turn to McKay:

Kolya: Tell her the procedure! McKay: I can't! I don't know what he's done! Kolya: Tell her! McKay: Well, he must have entered his own personal command code! Kolya: What is it? McKay: I don't know! Weir: Only Sheppard would know it! McKay: Trust me – I'm not that brave! I would help you if I could!

That's what he says. Earlier, he told us that he's a terrible bluffer so he must be telling the truth here, right? But it doesn't seem like Sheppard did anything particular to the shield besides raising it. We are later told that he entered a code to lock the gate but raising the shield was a simple task operated by the pushing of a single button they stumbled onto as one of the first things they ever did upon arriving at Atlantis (and he hardly had time to enter two codes). There is no reason to believe that McKay didn't know exactly how to undo it. When push came to shove, McKay could lie to help Sheppard, and extremely convincingly at that. Note also that McKay already lied about the command codes previously to save Weir's life.

Note also that "trust me" is something often said by liars. McKay tells Kolya, "Trust me, I'm not that brave!" But the entire reveal at the end of the episode is that McKay has been lying about not being able to raise the shield, and he's been lying about this so convincingly that he not only fooled Kolya, he fooled the whole audience. So not only can he lie when he really has to (even when he's being beaten), he can lie well. When the occasion calls for it. And he's doing all of it to save Sheppard. Rodney was just that brave.

Even though he clearly fears for his life, he continues to "feel the fear and do it anyway". Kolya is enraged, having lost a company of men in one fell swoop. He very much wants to take it out on McKay (and note again that he wants to punish McKay for what Sheppard does, like they're an extension of one another).

And McKay is able to save both himself and Weir by again reminding him that they're both needed. This is also a lie, since he's been lying about Weir being needed the whole damn time. He has saved Weir's life several times by now.

And make no mistake, he did that for Sheppard. To help him any way he could.

Even though they are separated, they are both trying to keep the other safe. Just like they did in the Genii home world, the first time Rodney was being held hostage by them along with Sheppard.

Kolya gives in and contacts Sheppard via the intercom. They have the following exchange:

Kolya: Major Sheppard, I have a proposition for you. Sheppard: Kolya, I'm having a hard time keeping up. What's the score again? Kolya: My men have informed me that not only have you disabled some crucial generators but you've stolen key components that make it impossible for them to be restored. Sheppard: Yeah. I did that. Kolya: There are two flaws in your plan. Sheppard: Always open to constructive criticism. Kolya: One: the assumption I would believe you'd rather destroy the city than let it fall to us is childish. Sheppard: Doesn't sound like me.

He's flippant. He's sarcastic. He's antagonizing Kolya, attempting to keep the man's attention on himself rather than on anyone or anything else. He is neither enraged nor mourning the loss of the love of his life, or potential love interest. In fact, this is a direct continuation of the conversation they were having before Kolya threatened Weir and pretended to kill her ("I guess we're even!"). And this is precisely when we return to the topic:

Kolya: Second: if and when I determine Atlantis unsalvageable, Doctors Weir and McKay become obsolete. Sheppard: Weir's alive? Kolya: Doctor McKay was able to make a strong case for keeping her alive. Sheppard: Let me talk to her. Weir: Sheppard! We're both here! Sheppard: It's good to hear your voice. Weir: Yeah, it's good to hear. Kolya: We have less than one hour before the storm hits full force. If the power is not returned to Grounding Station Three within the next ten minutes, Doctor Weir dies. Sheppard: Again, you mean? Kolya: Her death will buy you another ten minutes, after which – should the power still be out – Doctor McKay dies. We will then leave with what we can, and the city will be destroyed.

I want to point out a few things.

While Kolya is trading with Sheppard using the fact that he didn't kill Weir but had only pretended to, he still feels the need to tack on McKay's life into the bargain.

Of course he's happy Weir is alive. Among other things, it means this guy isn't a complete psycho and it might be possible to negotiate with him.

Kolya mentions McKay three goddamn times here.

Weir is real quick to let Sheppard know that McKay is alright, it's like the first thing she does; she clearly understood that he would want to know this and would not be able to directly ask about it. The relief we can hear in this "It's good to hear your voice" is at least partially in response to this. It's good to hear your voice [that just told me McKay is alright].

He's real flippant about the possibility of Weir dying again here.

McKay's life is still the final bargaining chip, still the thing Kolya seems to think Sheppard cares the most about.

The phrase "Doctors" Weir and McKay again presents them as a package deal.

And once more, while he's able to joke about Weir dying again, it's threatening McKay's life that seems to really agitate Sheppard:

Sheppard: Well, that's not enough time! Kolya: If you don't mind destroying Atlantis, stay where you are for the next twenty minutes, starting now.

That is when he steps into action. Twenty minutes, starting now.

Continued in Pt. 7

.* And, as discussed previously in connection with the Rodney from the alternative timeline, lying is especially necessary when you're a civilian gay dude working in a military environment where your peers are going to need your help upholding DADT. You would learn to lie like a pro. Never mind that he's likely also lied to himself for most of his life. But Rodney, big brother Rodney that comes from a dysfunctional family, definitely lies really well when he's doing it to protect someone other than himself.

[a-dragons-journal]

Singlet+

I've been meaning to write this one for a while, so let's see how this goes.

~1k words; essay on the experience of one person who sits right on the funny little edge between "normal roleplay experience" and "actual plurality".

So, let's start with this: I am not plural. But. I do seem to live in a weird space juuuuust on the edge of plurality (and no, I do not mean that I'm a median or blurry system - I mean on the edge of that).

For one thing, I'm a daemian - that is, I practice daemonism; that is, I have personified and given faux autonomy (fauxtonomy, if you will) to my "internal narrator" of sorts and he now lives in my brain with me as a thoughtform, a brain companion, in the shape of an animal. Strictly speaking, that does qualify us for plurality, but we personally don't view our daemonism through that framework and consider ourselves a singlet (as hilarious as the plural grammar makes that sentence, I know). Many daemons don't consider themselves plural; this isn't particularly unusual - in muir case, Locke is a part of me before he is anything else, and while yes there are forms of plurality that look like that, for us personally it makes more sense to view him as "part of me, therefore, still one person".

For another, I had... basically plural experiences when I was younger. I don't want to talk about the details publicly, but suffice to say that for many years I had what I would now call headmates, and I suspect that if I had been exposed to plural spaces during that time period, they may well have stuck around permanently, instead of "fading out" and eventually disappearing as is what actually happened. To this day I don't know how "real" or "imaginary" they were, and I doubt I ever will - they were certainly real to me at the time, but I have also always been very good at suspension of disbelief. Trying to analyze it in any great level of detail is made basically impossible by my piss-poor episodic memory rendering the memories of that time so fuzzy that I can't rely on them for details.

For another, my experiences with OCs are often... soulbond-adjacent? Recently in particular I've had a lot of funny experiences with an OC of mine, a character in a Vampire: The Masquerade campaign I'm a part of (Viridian Caldwell, for my own future self's reference), which led me to do some research on soulbonding because of how fictive-adjacent the experience of her is.

And yet. The answer is a definite no. I get very strong impressions and echoes from her; she "gives" me facts about her and her life that simply Are and that I feel as strongly about being true and unchangeable as I do about my own noemata; she's almost a separate person living in my brain sometimes; I somehow come up with near-prophetic knowledge about her world (as confirmed by my Storyteller, who happens to be part of a system alongside a number of fictives from the world in question, including several who know Viridian personally) with zero explanation on a semi-regular basis.

And yet. The answer is no. Because while I seem to have all the effects a soulbond proper would produce on my end - she is not aware of me, not really. She is not conscious of my world and my life. When I really quiet my own brain and reach out to call out and see if someone's there, there's only silence. It's as though I have a one-way soulbond somehow - which, of course, puts me in the fun gray space between "soulbond" and "normal roleplay/writing experience".

And she's not a unique instance of this. This just happens to me with OCs, although it's been a bit more dramatic with her because of the presence of fictives from her world to converse with (and, realistically, because of the real-time roleplay aspect that a TTRPG has that a video game or the writing of a fanfiction doesn't).

It's as though my brain has the capacity for plurality, but it just... doesn't manifest fully.

And, truth be told, I kind of prefer it this way. I like being a singlet; I would kind of hate having to share headspace with other people. Especially since, if my childhood pseudo-plurality experiences are anything to go by, we would not have good separation of thoughts and memories and true privacy would be very difficult if not impossible. Plus, because of that, I would... probably never get over the doubt of Is It Real Or Not, and I don't need that stress in my life. (For this reason, while I'm 99.9% sure that if I intentionally tried to bring her over as a fictive, it would work, I will not be testing the theory just out of curiosity.)

I wonder if I didn't train myself out of the ability to be Plural Proper, to be honest. Not intentionally, but - I may have mentioned that my power of suspension of disbelief is very strong, and as a child this came with me being extremely easy to manipulate because it was very easy for me to fall into believing things that I wanted to believe. (Again, I don't really want to talk about the details, but suffice to say I had a pretty bad case of Protagonist Syndrome, as it were, for a while.) I had to learn to combat that natural tendency of my brain for my own protection (especially as someone active in witchcraft spaces) - and I wonder if it didn't come with the side effect of immunizing me to developing true plurality (at least without actively trying) by shutting down any attempt by my brain to form a true headmate in the process.

I don't know. I might never. All I know is that while I am, after careful consideration, definitely a singlet, I do seem to live right on the edge of plurality, and it comes with some weird experiences. (And I would like an explanation for why I keep spitting out nigh-prophetic knowledge of this campaign's world; if I find out Viridian is a fictotype of mine or something I'm going to flip my fucking lid.) I've started half-jokingly calling myself "singlet+", half as a joke on cis+ (ie, someone who's questioned their gender and come to the conclusion that they are indeed cis but has a better understanding of their experience of cisness for it) and half as an "unless" "unlesss...?" acknowledgement of the weird border area some of my experiences sit in. It's... not really a serious label, but also isn't entirely a joke.

So... yeah. Singlet+, I guess. Another victim of the "if you only have two words for fear in your language, one for mild test jitters and one for life-threatening terror, you're going to have a lot of trouble describing a lot of normal human experiences" problem of how our language around plurality often works.

[yonemurishiroku]

please drop the link for the Nico finds family in Venice au when you're done pretty please 🥺

would be very interested in reading it

I regret to inform you that I, in fact, have nothing regarding this AU except for maybe a few visions that would do much better were I an artist instead of a slow-as-snail writer.

I have some reasonable explanation for the di Angelos - Maria had many siblings, and therefore Nico has many cousins who are actually still alive. One of them being the current head of the family (?) and he recognizes Nico. He has a vague sense of the whole Hades thing, so when Nico tells him the truth, he believes him and welcomes him back to the family. Nico then lives with them as his grandson.

I like to play around and imagine that it's like a big family staying together. And Nico now has an 'older brother' - who is actually his... grandnephew?? idk i probably just made that up. It'd be 10x times funnier if said grandnephew is actually aware of the truth. So they have this weird dynamic of "I'm 70 years older than you, son" - "Not in the adoption papers you are not, grandpa" LMAO. And then maybe - just maybe! - a boyfriend who is friends with said older brother/grandnephew? LOL

My plan, as of currently (which is code word for: all the prompts I can think of), is only an one-scene oneshot (you know, typical me).

Initially, I was going to merge it with another prompt I've got in store - which is about Grover coming across Nico in Italy again when he's traveling the world as the god of the wild. The plot would be quite simple, obviously: Grover lands in Venice, recognizes Nico who is just having a nice morning out with his (new) family, and then spends some time together on a bench sightseeing as they contemplate Nico's life story.

It's a one-time encounter between old friends to reminisce about your past - that sort of thing.

On the other hand, I just realized maybe five minutes ago that Reyna can fit quite well in Grover's place, as well. Mainly because:

1/ She is traveling around, too.

2/ She's close to Nico, too.

3/ She's now a Hunter of Artemis, which is a whole other branch that can connect to Bianca in case I want to go there, too.

Hazel is also a good candidate, though in her case I'd have to modify the plot a little, figuring out a good reason for her to cross the freaking Atlantic, what kind of transportation she'll have to take, their reactions upon reuniting - just. a bunch of things, really. I reckon if I'm going to pick Hazel, I would need to bring Percy too bc 1/ Frank would never let Hazel go that far alone but CJ needs at least a praetor; 2/ It allows for more interesting interactions.

But alas - I hardly have enough willpower for both Hazel and Percy, so there's that.

This is everything I have in mind. I'm sorry if you were expecting a multi-chaptered fanfic bc honestly I can't do longfic and half of the time I say I have an AU - it's like a 2-sentence prompt at best 😭😭😭

[maria-of-the-waves]

Soul Fire (TCFxKHR! AU) (Part 1)

I really like the concept of the dying will flames in Katekyou Hitman Reborn! In fact, I love it! ٩(♡ε♡)۶

This concept is quite interesting from my perspective, the being able to manifest the power of your soul through your will to live is very cool for me °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

I am not going to give an explanation of what the flames are since the publication is not about that, instead, I am going to give the link that will explain what they are.

(All credits to villainsandvictimsalliance ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝)

And given the basic explanation, I'm going to give my ideas on how they work in this AU:

The Dying Will Flames come from the excess energy that the soul constantly emits. If you have accumulated a large amount of energy in your soul and find yourself in a near-death situation where your highest priority is to survive, your will can break the barrier between the physical and spiritual worlds, allowing you to access your flames and making you active. When this happens, small holes open in your soul that with time, use and trauma can become larger, causing chronic spiritual pain, that is where bonds and harmony come in. Links to other flames (and therefore souls) can help as pain relievers for all parties involved by superficially plugging the gaps and not allowing the core of the soul to be exposed. The exception to this is the flames of the sky which, due to their harmony attribute, can fill the gaps in other souls but not in their own, while the elements fill the gaps in their Sky, which makes this type of bond highly sought after. It is not just about healing the soul, it is a promise of eternal loyalty and devotion between each party, letting your own soul find a home in your Sky to fill the gaps in it and knowing that you will always have someone in who to trust for the rest of your life. Both harmony and general bonds are promises of eternal trust and loyalty, no active person will ever try to harm anyone they are bonded with much less an element to their Sky. A Sky needs a bond with each of the elements to stay sane and healthy physically, mentally and spiritually. The more powerful he is, the more links he needs. These can be created immediately if the souls are very compatible or by courtship if they don't are.

Well, with that explained, here is my TCF AU using this concept (o^ ^o)b.

Cale is definitely a Misty Sky, someone who can accept anyone without discrimination, but seeking the maximum benefit for himself and his people at all times.

He is someone who will deceive and swindle to achieve his goals by seeking out anything that he thinks may be useful or annoying to his enemies, but at the same time he is totally incapable of deceiving those he considers his by telling only lies for omission and half-truths.

He will justify any display of affection as manipulation or pretend to ignore it, but the way his worst fear is that his people will die and ending up alone speaks volumes about his character.

He is possessive of everything that is his, including his people, and will always pay for every offense or good act. For example, he prolonged Hannah's suffering by giving her healing potions and delaying Mary's arrival for everything she did to the whales, but once she paid for his offenses he did everything he could to help her.

But the curse make him difficult to have bonds.

After all, being a Sky he would need to have precious people to keep his soul complete and not fall into madness, and we all already know that he does the curse.

During the cataclysm each and every one of the humans with enough will to do everything possible to live awakens their flames to later (once society is rebuilt) be studied, revealing what explained at the beginning.

Moving on to another topic, I firmly believe that Cale's family in the Shelter (LSH (Cloud), LSW (Lightning), LJJ (Sun), JMS (Mist), Grandma Kim (Rain) and maybe PJT (Storm)) They were his first set of items allowing him to heal and maintain his sanity, but his curse took them away from him.

He later formed a bond with CJS (Sunny Rain) until the unclassified monster disaster occurred.

Team 1 that he led began to court him, but the trauma prevented him from forming complete bonds by creating too many holes for them alone to fill, leaving them all suffering, Cale by not being able to form new bonds and the team by refusing to accept another Sky wearing down the souls of all of them.

On the other hand, the original Cale is also a Misty Sky, the Thames are a long line of powerful Sky's who unlocked this power on Earth 1 but which is inaccessible without intervention for the inhabitants of almost all worlds except for the variants of the land.

Cale was born with active flames due to the difficulties of childbirth, harmonizing with his mother (a Sunny Sky) in the process.

During his childhood he harmonized with Eric (Rain), Amiru (Storm) and Gilbert (Lightning) after accidentally waking them up with his flames, but after the death of his mother he tried to distance himself from them without success causing them all to be very clingy to each other. yes and promise never to abandon each other.

After the arrival of Basen and Violan he began to act like trash in hopes that the collateral families would stop insulting his father's new family, thereby destroying his reputation in the process.

He was in a courtship process with Ron (Mist) and Beacrox (Cloud) before starting to act, but he interrupted it by starting to treat them as simple servants.

Then the Harris Village accident happens and Choi Han's beating completely undoes any trace of harmony with the Molans.

The Plaza Terror accident kills Basen and seriously injures the nobles of the northwest who begin to stay with Cale in a villa within a small town.

The War occurs by killing the rest of the Henituse family and taking most of the people in the northeastern territory with it.

Cale, Eric, Amiru and Gilbert, letting themselves be carried away by the desire for revenge, enlist in the army, quickly rising through the ranks until the battle in Puzzle City arrives.

During that battle each of them dies and Cale is taken to the God of Death who offers him a deal.

Since both his and Kim-Cale's souls are incredibly damaged he offers to send him back in time to the moment before he met Choi Han and fuse his souls.

Og-Cale insists that Kim-Cale must be there if the deal involves him and the God of Death brings him in while he was taking a nap on his day off, accidentally dragging Team 1 along due to the courtship.

They protest without wanting to send their leader (Sky) to a world destined for destruction until GoD blurts out that the reincarnation of the shelter family lives in that world which makes them stop trying knowing that Kim-Cale would do anything for see his elements again, so they start negotiating to go with him (Min Ah including his family being the only one with close relatives ( ╥ω╥ ))

Cale protests that they should not waste their lives for a trip that would bring them no benefit, but they tell him that they do not do it for benefits, but do it solely out of their loyalty.

This last exchange causes Cale to finally understand that they would stay by his side and finally accepts them into his Sky, establishing harmony.

Og-Cale on the other hand watches the exchange, and feeling a little jealous (very, very jealous (￢_￢)) tells GoD if Kim-Cale can take his people with him because he couldn't do the same demanding that Eric, Amiru and Gilbert travel with him.

GoD, wanting Nameless 1 to be saved, accepts the demand and quickly brings them, taking advantage of the fact that they recently died, to explain everything to them.

Only when they are about to seal the deal does Kim-Cale realize that GoD never mentioned what had happened to CJS and after much insistence he finally blurts out that he had become his subordinate and that he was currently on a mission in another country. world.

On the condition that CJS visits him as soon as possible he accepts the deal.

The deal is finally complete, Kim-Cale and Og-Cale will be a single person once the respective regression and transmigration begins, the nobles of the northeast will return to their bodies from before the Plaza Terror accident and the Koreans will be left in a merchant caravan with forged identification documents just one day from Rain City.

[kitkatopinions]

I'm not going back through my posts to find this, but like three years ago I made a post that was like "when people say things about Ironwood that aren't true like 'he invaded Vale' I'm just gonna be like 'cool headcanon. My headcanon is-' and then insert some random headcanon." Well, nowadays, RWBY fans are making me want to do that again in response to every time they say something happened off screen.

"It's not that Yang and Blake 'don't talk about their problems,' they just talk about them off screen." Yeah cool headcanon. My headcanon is that Blake was actually closer friends with Neptune than with Weiss before the Fall of Beacon.

"Jaune isn't 'the only one who got to mourn Pyrrha,' obviously the others mourned, it just happened off screen." Uh-huh, cool headcanon. My headcanon is that Qrow and Raven are actually the children of Salem and they just don't realize it.

"You can't say that Ruby's message to the world in V8 didn't contain all the vital information, because some of the message just wasn't shown!" "Yang and Blake didn't keep secrets from the rest of their team by never telling them they told Robin everything, they told them offscreen!" "It's so stupid that people are saying Yang is a hypocrite for yelling at Oz about keeping secrets after she lied to Qrow about Raven, clearly she told the truth off screen!" "I can't believe that people are complaining that Weiss was never shown to deconstruct her anti-faunus beliefs or apologize and therefore her white-knighting for Blake feels performative. Clearly she unlearned that stuff off screen!" Cool headcanons, bro. I have this headcanon that when Ruby and Yang were kids, they started fighting over this toy yo-yo because they both thought the yo-yo belonged to them, and then one day Ruby was playing with the yo-yo and since she was mad that Yang kept saying it was HER yo-yo, Ruby clonked her on the head with the yo-yo and of course that dissolved into even more fighting, so Taiyang took the yo-yo from them. But then that only dissolved into even MORE fighting because they blamed each other for the loss of the yo-yo, and so Tai 'banned' all conversation of the yo-yo incident and even banned the word yo-yo and Yang and Ruby hold to that rule even as teenagers and will breakout into (now good natured) bickering about it if it comes up.

People sometimes think "if the RWBY writers did (insert thing they did here) it would be bad. Therefore they can't have done that, so what's the other explanation? I just must need to flex my imagination and fill in the blanks!" So then they see something like the show having Yang literally lie to Qrow's face and the show still four seasons later having not had that addressed despite the fact that Yang has been anti-lying to the point of angrily calling someone a bastard, and they're like "Well if Yang didn't tell the truth, she'd be a hypocrite. So she had to have told the truth and we just didn't see it, or else it would mean that the writers made a mistake. Why would someone say Yang has lied in the past when she clearly told the truth off screen!"

And it’s like.... Or... They got something wrong.... Or they made a mistake.

Some rwby fans will do this thing where they confuse 'I recognized the potential and imagined/headcanoned to fill in the holes left in this story to make it more enjoyable' with 'this story is great and actually DOESN'T HAVE HOLES.' It's like RT made a road that is full of holes in the concrete, and then when people are like 'wish this road wasn't full of holes,' other people come in like "um stop saying there are holes, clearly we're meant to pretend that the road is smooth and free of holes. How dare you call this bad construction and an incomplete road, the concrete is in the cement truck, duh. Why do you need your hand held?"

Before someone comes in and is like "so nothing that happens off screen can ever be considered canon?" that's not it. If it's established in canon that it happened, then it's different.

Let's use Volume 9 as an example! There's a scene where Weiss summarizes events she's been told including Yang's prosthetic being stolen. Obviously Yang had to have told her about it. I wouldn't be here like 'Why is Weiss acting like Yang told her something that isn't on screen?' I did however complain that the writers skipped over that conversation, because it left the interaction feeling stale, pointless, and it limited my connection to the characters because it bypassed all emotion that wasn't 'being done' and cynicism. But they established that it happened in some way, so if someone says 'Yang told the others what happened to her off screen,' I'd say 'yeah, she did, that was made clear."

However, then there's a mistake that Eddy Rivas himself said was a mistake where they decided 'Ruby should find out that Jaune killed Penny off-screen' and then they never gave any indication that she knew at all. So not only did they bypass what should've been included as an emotional scene that humanizes Ruby and clues the audience further into her mental state while seeming more respectful of a well-loved character, but they also fully made it seem like that interaction just didn't actually happen. So in the actual show, there's no reason to believe that Ruby has been told that Jaune killed Penny, and most people kept waiting for it to happen and then the whole season ended and we were confused about it because as far as people who don't follow Eddy Rivas on twitter are concerned, there's no reason to believe that it happened at all. 'It happened off screen' doesn't actually mean anything when there's no reason to believe that except that some people really want it to have happened.

Again, RWBY isn't real, and author's notes dropped after the fact only tell us about intent and do not alter what's actually presented to us in the actual product. Stuff doesn't just 'happen off screen, but it's still happened' the way that a documentary might not include all the footage, but the events still happened.

This post is running long, but yeah. When stuff doesn't actually happen on screen and isn't referenced and doesn't make it into the show and plot, it's not only disappointing - because that stuff should make it into the plot (I can't believe that there are bees shippers that just do not care that crucial moments and conversations that lay conflict to rest between their one true pairing just 'happen off screen' according to them like I would be kicking down doors for my ships) - but also makes that stuff not canon.

[leorai4life]

Analysing Leorai - differentiating rumours from reality (a 3 part analysis)

Introduction

To this day, Leorai (2012) remains a controversial ship as many view it as incestrious and therefore taboo. I understand why many would view it as much - especially if those in question haven't watched the 2012 show - and that without proper analysis the concept of "adoptive brother and sister in love" sounds pretty bad. However, I for one can say with certainty that Leorai is not a ship that is not as simple as revolving around two adopted siblings in love - as characters, be it platonically or romantically, Leo and Karai's relationship has many layers that cannot be dulled down to being one thing or the other.

Before I start this analysis, I just want to say if you're an anti Leorai shipper or just not a big fan of shipping in general, that's cool! I'm not trying to convince you to like this ship or anything - however I do hope that in reading this you can learn to respect those who do ship it.

Aspect Analysis 1 - Siblings? So, a common argument for why Leorai is "wrong" is that it's promoting incest. Well let's look at Leo and Karai's parental relationships and discuss that:

Although they both technically share a father, Splinter is barely granted the chance to form a paternal bond with Karai due to the fact that he didn't get to raise her, nor spend time with her once the truth had been revealed. Even when she was brought back to the lair and reunited with her blood father, she still chose getting vengeance over getting to know and love her blood father. Leo on the other hand was raised by Splinter since he was a child and views him as his beloved father and sensei. He looks up to his adoptive father for guidance and emotional support; he is Leo's role model, and essentially all Leo wishes to be as the new sensei.

When we compare the bond Leo has with Splinter to Karai's, Leo had more experience being Splinter's son/ward than Karai did. Even Splinter's death had more of an impact on Leo than it did Karai; Leo was filled with anger and despair and continued to "talk" to Splinter when seeking guidance, whilst upon hearing of his death Karai's response was more reserved than distraught. This is an understandable reaction, as within a couple of weeks Karai had had her whole life exposed as a lie, became a mutant, got brainwashed and on top of all that didn't even get to form an emotional and parental connection with her one true father before he too was taken from her. So yeah, it's no wonder she wasn't able to emotionally process his death like the others did (heck, even April and Casey are more bonded with Splinter than Karai is).

So to relate back to my initial point of both Leo and Karai technically sharing a father, they each share him for a different reason: Leo is Splinter's son by a lifelong bond, whilst Karai is Splinter's daughter by blood. This difference in reasoning does not make either one of them any less of Splinter's child, but this difference does make them be less seen as siblings from each other's POV. Leo was raised with his blood-brothers by the same father/sensei, under the same roof and with a shared family dynamic - so he of course views them as siblings. This is why something like Raph x Leo differs drastically from Leorai as Raph and Leo have always treated one another as siblings because it's what they're used to - so turning that dynamic romantic would make both of them extremely uncomfortable. However, Karai enters the Turtles' lives when they're well into their teens - aka, when they're beyond extreme (emphasis on extreme) influence. On top of that, her first introduction to them was 'Shredder's daughter'/'a Foot Clan kunoichi' - so taking her home and attempting to accept her as a sister didn't really work as there was an already established family dynamic between the brothers and Splinter which Karai hadn't been around to be a part of. This is why she's mainly viewed as a close friend/distant family by the bois (although bless Mikey for at least ATTEMPTING to give her the opportunity to be their sister).

Karai even distances herself from forming any sort of familial bond with the Turtles by refusing to join their Dojo and rarely instigating missions with them unless absolutely desperate - instead she opts to rebuild the Foot Clan under her rule and take her life into her own hands. And if anything, she builds herself in the image of The Shredder - a powerful leader with an arsenal of ninjas at her disposal - but with the heart and honour of her father. When Mikey queried why Karai didn't come home with them, Leo states "Well, she's not a little kid anymore - she wants to take control of her own life"; in a way, this indicates that Karai doesn't want the burden of being a part of a family. Perhaps after living a life of lies under a tyrannical "father" she just wanted to be her own person on her own - literally (well, aside from Shini).

So to answer the query of "Aren't they technically siblings?" the answer is logically no, as they do not share a sibling bond psychologically or even biologically; Leo is literally a giant talking turtle mutant...she's a human-mutant hybrid...they literally could not be more NOT related lol.

Anyways, onto the next point:

Aspect Analysis 2 - "The Turtles are blood relatives of Splinter"

I see a lot of antis use this point in an argument, saying that the Turtles share blood with Splinter so they are blood relatives.

Now speaking specifically about the 2012 show, we never get an official confirmation that the brothers and Splinter share blood. I've even searched interviews with Ciro Nieli and the most he's said is that "All the turtles share a piece of Splinter" - though he was talking trait-wise...so...yeah.

My personal view is that since they are linked to the last thing they touched (be it the pet store owner, a bunch of curious kids or Splinter himself), I do believe they share a connection with Splinter - but not in the sense that the same blood runs through their veins. I believe that when the Turtles and Splinter mutated, the Turtles humanoid appearance was created by the shared contact of the pet store owner, curious kids, and of course Splinter. The mutagen used the fundamentals of all these humans' DNA to basically ~evolutionise~ the Turtles into their humanoid selves (think of it as though they're a combination of turtle and a dose of general human DNA).

As far as I can tell, the only thing the human interaction with Hamato Yoshi (Splinter) got them is some of his core traits - a sense of honour and leadership for Leo, a fierce and protective fighting spirit for Raph, creativity and ability to improvise when under pressure for Mikey, and ingenuity for Donnie. Physically, it seems only Donnie gained something from Splinter (his reddish-brown eyes and natural tall stature) whilst the other brothers must have gained their distinctive physical traits from the other human contacts; such as Mikey, Raph and Leo having different eye colours than Splinter, Mikey's freckles, and Donnie's overbite and gap tooth. My personal headcanon is that Mikey got his empathic traits and love for pets from the pet shop owner hehe.

So essentially Splinter's foundational pieces of DNA helped to shape their roles on the team (leader, warrior, inventor and creative-and-spontaneous-ball-of-butt-kicking).

I guess a question would be "but if they all did a blood test, would Splinter be found to be related????" - my answer to that is yes, though very distantly, as their main DNA result would be a turtle (duh...) whilst the rest is a jumble of the other humans' DNA. Think of it as though you did a DNA test and got a match with a bunch of random people - it is possible to share a small amount of DNA with someone and not be related. In other words, it's possible to share genetic material and not share a common ancestor or any identifiable genealogical connection.

Aspect Analysis 3 - "INCEST!"?

This relates back to point 1 where I discussed whether Leo and Karai see each other as siblings and whether shipping them should be considered promotion of incestrious behaviours. This answer is actually really simple: no, Leorai does not encourage incest.

Why not? Because incest, by definition means "sexual relations between people classed as being too closely related to marry each other". And guess what? Not only are Leo and Karai not closely related, but they never did the deed, or even kissed. They didn't even become 'official' official in the show, so calling Leorai incest is not a fact.

In all honesty, Leorai is my favourite ship of the show because unlike the other ships they didn't need to be physical with each other (e.g. kissing, arms around each other, tight hugs, carrying in arms) to show the audience that they cared deeply for one another. They showed their love through emotional connection and the "little things". Leorai is much like Zutara for me in this sense; I'm happy with what we got because it felt more like two characters building a genuine connection that would lead to an eventual romantic relationship (be it in show or not) than having to shove it in our faces that "tHEY'rE iN LOve beCaUSe tHEy KisSed!" (*cough* Kataang).

If you as a writer can make two characters have a romantic connection without having to make them get physical then you know you've written a relationship - heck, you know you've written the characters - right. And my personal headcanon is that Leo and Karai would share an asexual relationship eventually; no smut, just wholesome love :3

To conclude: Leorai is not incest. Not biologically, not psychologically, and not even romantically. I know not everyone will agree with this as many prefer to just stick with the most popular opinion so they don't cause controversy and that's fine - but heck, I'm tired of hiding my love for this ship cuz "I'll upset someone". That someone can be offended all they want, but I'm still not gonna change myself to suit their agenda.

I'm too old to keep getting involved in anti-ship nonsense (in ANY fandom, tbh), so if you're an anti reading this I'm not gonna try fight your opinion. You can have it, and I'll respect it cuz it's your opinion. I just hope that one day we as the internet can evolve to a point where we're smart enough to just not actively search for something we despise and only focus on what makes us happy.

As for my fellow Leorai shippers- thank you for reading my ramble! I love and appreciate all of you that continue to stand by this ship, and I hope to give you more Leorai content soon! Hopefully one that isn't a ramble, haha 💙🖤

Thanks again for reading, and have a good day/evening!

[eternallyanxiousandstressed]

Major Tea Update

Okay, I need you all to be prepared to be absolutely pissed off. I mean, filled with rage levels of pissed off, because that's where I'm at, even if I have to also continue being totally and completely pleasant.

So, some time after Ratboy allowed me to have Luke by myself, unsupervised for the time I was driving with him, Ratboy filed a protection order AND a CPS case against me.

Ratboy says my suicide "threats" (me telling him I was going to kill myself and actually meaning it) were coercive control, which is considered domestic violence. Gamers, this is my state's definition of coercive control: "Coercive control" means a pattern of behavior that is used to cause another to suffer physical, emotional, or psychological harm, and in purpose or effect unreasonably interferes with a person's free will and personal liberty. In determining whether the interference is unreasonable, the court shall consider the context and impact of the pattern of behavior from the perspective of a similarly situated person. 

Now, suicide threats or attempts are considered examples of coercive control, but see, it has to be used to cause him to suffer physical, emotional, or psychological harm. Um... Mine were legitimate actual mental health crises. I have messages with a crisis text line showing that for some of these, I was actively in a mental health crisis. I have psychiatry appointments talking about my suicidal ideation. I went inpatient to a psych hospital multiple times. Mine were not "used to cause another harm". Therefore it doesn't fucking count. Whatever, that'll be easy to prove with my texts to the crisis line as well as my medical records from my psychiatrist throughout that entire time.

Now the CPS case? He claims that I threatened to kill Luke. I have never once threatened to kill Luke, ever. In fact, I've straight up told Ratboy that I'd cut my own hand off before I hurt Luke. During my postpartum depression did I have thoughts of hurting Luke? Yes. But I was seeing a psychiatrist about them and actively working with her on it. And I haven't had those thoughts since, well, I was no longer in emotional distress because of Ratboy. Anyways, this will also probably be easy to throw out with the simple fact that, if he was concerned that I was a danger to our son, why did he allow me an unsupervised visit with him? Because, if he was actually concerned I would hurt or kill Oliver, letting him go with me unsupervised would be negligent on his part and well... That won't look good for him.

Anyways, CPS, without interviewing me or my family or even contacting me at all, has made the recommendation of no unsupervised visits, which pisses me off. How about you actually interview the person accused to figure out the whole story before you just side with the people accusing. Especially right in the middle of a custody battle.

But, if he wants to play dirty and lie, how about I play dirty and tell the truth. Ratboy was a neglectful father for the entire time I was taking care of Luke. Up to the point where my own brother watched Ratboy ignore Luke while he was screaming to play video games. My brother's exact words (just with names changed): Yeah while we were packing he was "taking care of Luke" while he played his games and Luke was just having a meltdown

I can also bring up all the times he refused to help me with Luke while I was so exhausted my legs tried to give out. And when he did, I didn't actually get to sleep because Luke started screaming and would just scream for 10 minutes straight and Ratboy didn't do anything. Not even when I suggested he feed him. I go out and I feed him and guess what? Luke calmed down!

Anyways, meeting with my lawyer on Monday to discuss where to go from here. She said she wasn't worried and that we could handle it so I'm going to try not to stress about it. I'm just gonna be completely and totally pissed off that he's stooping to completely lying now.

[astromechs]

Ship kisses!!! 17. To distract, rebelcaptain? 👀

finally getting to these prompts, like, two weeks later; #writersblock, my nemesis. anyway shoutout to diego luna's headcanons about cassian being a good cook for inspiring this lmao

also on ao3! and still accepting prompts from this list :)

While he's cooking, Cassian only has one rule: Jyn can stay in the kitchenette they've been lucky enough to have installed in their quarters on-base and watch him all she wants, even help if she's so inclined, as long as she isn't a distraction.

It's not as if the process is more dangerous than any variety of others, even with the knives involved, but it requires a certain amount of precision — and therefore, his undivided focus. A split second can mean the difference between the right balance of flavors and a disaster no one could ever stand; now that there's someone eating his cooking aside from himself for the first time in years, that seems more important than ever. Maybe he could swallow something with too much seasoning, but he isn't going to give Jyn anything less than his best effort.

Of course, rules and Jyn don't exactly mesh. Even when she doesn't outright break them, she's always testing them, pushing them to see just how far she can. She has a tendency to stand at his back, to rest her chin on his shoulder (and likely rise up on the balls of her feet, given their height difference) as she watches him toss ingredients together — and to sometimes reach around his waist and sneak in what bites she can. He thinks: she's incorrigible in that way.

It's not a thought that comes with anything but fondness, especially now, when the reliable warmth from her at his back settles over him, too, when, during this one isolated moment in time, everything feels easy. Strangely uncomplicated, no matter the war still ongoing beyond these walls.

He feels her shift, one hand still resting on his shoulder (presumably) for balance as the other snakes around, snatching three cubes of cheese in the blink of an eye.

Turning on his heel, he says, "Jyn." His voice has no bite to it; in fact, its edges are rounded out and soft, a blunted knife allowed to be worn down well beyond its usefulness.

(It’s not so dangerous, he’s come to realize, to let that happen.)

"What?" Even without the slight puff of her cheeks betraying the presence of what she's stolen in her mouth, she's trying just a little too hard to feign innocence for it to be convincing. He lifts a brow, but she stays the course. "I'm being helpful."

Cassian can't help the faint snort that escapes him at that. Truth be told, he can't help a lot of things when it comes to her; he never has been able to, really, not since the day they'd met, but now that's a little easier to admit. With a sidelong glance in her direction, and his mouth just barely turned up at the corners, he tosses back, "Then you can pass me the salt. That would be helpful."

After a noticeable swallow, she exhales an equally noticeable sigh (which Cassian, of course, knows is both intentional and for show), but moves as requested, away from him, briefly, and toward the shelf where he keeps his stock of seasonings and spices. Even if her absence isn't long, and she's back by his side handing over the salt within seconds, any absence of her is long enough to miss.

During the transfer, her hand lingers over his for much longer than it needs, her fingers dragging away from his slowly. Her eyes meet his, unblinking, and his breath catches in his throat. With her hair mussed from the efforts of the day, strands of it escaping her ties, and a hint of mischief on her face that she isn't even bothering to attempt to conceal, he thinks — and not for the first time — that she is the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. And —

Like being locked in a tractor beam, he's helpless to do anything but lean in as she stands on her toes and presses her lips to his.

Everyone in the Alliance knows the fire that burns in Jyn Erso — and if the Empire’s turned a blind eye to it before, they’re certainly not missing it now. What she radiates is bright and brilliant, something that could easily spark out of control without purpose, yet once focused, can keep an entire fight going indefinitely, as far as anyone can tell. But there’s a side of that fire that only he knows, the one reserved exclusively for this room; it’s soft and gentle, and as it spreads between them, it seeps into his bones that creak beyond their years, fills in the cracks that he’s long forgotten. Feels like home.

He tries not to think of it in terms of luck, in terms of what he does or doesn’t deserve. Tries, and fails, ultimately, because the cloud of an unfair exchange will always hang over him, but in moments like this, when she sighs against his mouth as a thumb grazes over his cheekbone, he isn’t thinking at all.

Moments like this, which, of course, aren’t meant to last.

Just at the periphery of his awareness, he picks up on a subtle scent of something just beginning to burn, and so draws himself away from Jyn to turn his focus back to the cooktop. Even if there’s no verbal protest from her as he does, he knows how she’s looking at him without glancing back to confirm: there has to be a knit to her brow, and her mouth has definitely been set in a firm line.

On his own mouth, a smile tugs, visibly, at the corners.

They’re both silent for a time as he stirs, adding one pinch of the salt he’d been handed, and then another. Neither of them are excessively talkative people, so they can exist like this comfortably, but even so, there’s something that lingers in the air between them well beyond the end of the kiss. Something… unfinished.

And in the end, it’s incredibly distracting.

(That’s something that would usually annoy him, being distracted, and would still, coming from anyone else. But since it’s her, it’s different. Just like so much seems to be.)

Flipping the burners down, he shifts his attention back to Jyn easily, wasting no time in taking her into his arms and pulling her close, in returning her fire to him. It settles with no hesitation — as if it’d never left at all. He leans in, says low and hot into her ear:

"Ten minutes to simmer."

The glint in her eyes that flick up to meet his as he pulls his face back tells him that she’s reading him. She always does; they barely even need words to speak at this point. Still, she draws closer, until their lips almost touch, and murmurs, "That's all the time you need, surely."

He slips a hand under her shirt, smile curling into a smirk at the way she gasps as his fingers move over bare skin. The message has been communicated, loud and clear, but he can’t let the challenge go unanswered. "I don't even need that much."

Whatever she has to say to that is lost forever, claimed by his mouth in a searing kiss that she rises to meet.

And so are all his thoughts as he walks them back toward the nearest available surface, except for one: there’s no rule that says dessert can't come first.

[samieree]

Born in Flames || Game of Thrones

OC x ?😏

-> Introduction + Prologue

Chapter I "Home?"

The fair-haired girl stood on the balcony with her hands on the railing and watched as the waves of the sea hit the rocks. She had watched it every day for seventeen years, every day hoping it might be the last time she watched it. But it wasn't like that...

"My Lady..." she didn't hear the words of Selaria, her maid. "Lady Maegelle" she turned to the older woman at that moment. She may have never heard anyone call her by her real name, but she knew her name wasn't Maegelle.

And yet... She reacted to it, just like a well-trained dog that always comes to you when called.

"What's the matter?" She asked dispassionately, not very pleased that the woman had interrupted her.

"We're leaving for the capital tomorrow, my Lady." She said, folding some of the girl's dresses into the crate. "King Robert is dead, you're safe."

Safe... She didn't believe it. She'll never be safe anywhere, no one is. She turned her head a moment more towards the waves. I'm finally seeing them for the last time... Her father's murderer is dead, he won't come under the walls of Casterly Rock anymore, and he won't demand her head, even though she didn't do anything to him.

Her only crime was being Rhaegar's daughter, being a Targaryen...

* * *

She had never seen King's Landing with her own eyes. She was born here but spent her life in and around Casterly Rock. She was not used to so many people... And to a specific smell, and in fact it was a stench. She had heard the maidservants in the castle say that it smelled in the capital from time to time, but she had never thought there could be so much truth in their words.

"You were born here, my Lady." Selaria smiled at her, then peering out the carriage window. She said nothing to that. In fact, she didn't even know what to say to that. 'I know'? She wouldn't have taken this dialogue any further. Therefore she was silent. She was silent until it was time to get off before entering the Red Keep, her real family home. A home that had been brutally taken from her before she could remember it. Taken with a stab in the back, just like her father before he could even see his daughter. Everything here was her home and suffering at the same time.

Seventeen years this usurper had been sitting here, using everything her ancestors had built... She had seen him once. He wanted to kill her then, but luckily Jaime somehow stopped him and led the girl to the other side of Casterly Rock. Now it was no longer Robert to raise his hand against her, but there would be someone else for sure. She was about to get out of the carriage, finally touching the grounds that legally belonged to her with her feet, but she stopped at the edge of the carriage, looking a little around.

"Come on..." she heard quietly somewhere in front of her and then she saw that blonde, Jaime, fucking, Lannister, who was reaching out to her to help her out. "You are safe. You are safe and at home."

She just nodded, letting herself be taken by the hand, and finally got out, followed closely by the maid. She imagined the flames raging seventeen years ago in this place, while her mother gave birth here in pain, in this building.

"Home..." she said softly, more to herself than anyone else. This wasn't what her home should looked like.

Her parents should be at home, her siblings... They wasn't here. The truth was also bad because she had no family anymore, practically no one from birth. She could see that they were trying to turn her into a Lannister, but despite those false smiles and nodding, she genuinely hated them. She hated the people who destroyed her world, her life. It was because of them that she felt like a war trophy. She was a princess, even though it was officially taken away from her. But she was also tired of this life, she saw no hope of regaining what she had lost long ago.

* * *

Her maidservant had just been away when Maegelle walked into the empty throne room. She had barely made it through the door, and she already knew this was where she belonged. After the death of the Mad King, her father should now be on the throne that stood at the end of the room, and she would then be smiling on the balcony, looking at the room full of people.

But it was empty.

She walked slowly closer to the throne, not paying so much attention to the appearance of the room. She climbed a few steps and stood just in front of the iron throne. For a moment she stood so uncertainly staring at him, until she finally reached out slowly to touch his armrest.

"If you wanted to sit on that chair, you'd have to kill a lot of people first." She dropped her hand halfway when she heard the words. She put on her indifferent expression and turned to her new interlocutor.

"Are you going to stalk me, ser?" She asked Jaime directly. He couldn't just leave her alone? As if it wasn't enough that somewhere in this place he killed her grandfather... with a hit in the back.

"I've missed you." She wanted to contemptuously roll her eyes at these words, but limited herself to a soft sigh.

"I don't doubt." she didn't miss him. To any of them, she didn't even want to see them. She would rather be far away, even outside the wall she would probably be better off than in the capital. "But you have to forgive me now, I'm going to my chambers. I'd rather to not fall asleep at the coronation of the new king."

She had everything while having nothing.

~

-> Chapter II "Long may he reign" -> general masterlist -> Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon masterlist

[hunting-songs]

TTL (reverse) from Hisoka

"I don't care for fine dining... It's so stuffy and for what purpose? ... A tiny plate and a splash of sauce? Silly.... When I was younger I had a little stuffed mouse toy that I would carry with me everywhere, she looked a little bit like you," Hisoka chuckles then considers his final statement. "When I retire I'm going to move somewhere tropical and just enjoy my time lazing on the beach," he smiles at Senritsu unassumingly, "Sounds nice, right?"

Spoiler alert, Hisoka misunderstood the rules. They are all lies :P

Let’s play Two Truths and a Lie! Send ‘TTL’ and my muse will tell two real facts about themselves and one lie. Your muse will have to guess which is which! Or Send me two truths and a lie and I / my muse will have to guess which is which!

As much as Hisoka was a charming liar and his voice was tickling sweetly around her ears, the hearbeat never lied. Accordingly all Senritsu did was chuckling by his attempt on the game, honestly amused over him even trying to trick her into believing in even one of his lies: "Well than, let me tell you- I do not care for fine dining myself. I like and taste the art of cooking, but restaurants as places are usually too full of people and therefor too loud for me. The best thing I have ever eaten was fried brown bread with bacon and two eggs on top after I had spend three months in the wilderness, recording the songs of a certaine bird. I even can cook that myself with a altissimo chance of it tasting as good as in that ran down pub in which I had first eaten it. Which is a true miracle, considering I am not a especially good cook." Turning to Hisoka, she placed her elbow on the table and her chin on the back of her hand, rising a hairless eyebrow in honest amusement. The woman wondered, why of all things he thought this kind of words would not be discovered as a lie- was he thinking she would feel flattered?: "I do not know what to think about you comparing me to a plushie, but I am not cruel enough to take that mental image from you. If my appearance makes you feel that comforted as a plushie does, it is one of the better reactions to my looks."

If before she had not been amused over the others lies, she was loud laughing by the last one. A melodic sound that made her almostcry tears becauss he was laughing so loud: "If you retire, that is." As if he would ever retire, as if he would not fight and be happy fighting until he was killed off, as if he would ever not think about fighting. The woman just softly shaked her head, smiling gently even if her voice was almost a little strict and she lifted a finger like a stern teacher: "Alright, enough of indulging in that- Hisoka, I do not like when people lie to me. It sounds horrible in my ears. Please do not do that, as much as you want to joke around with me."

[688199]

A Cheeky Angel: What does being a man mean?

exploring the theme and message of this underrated gem

okay so im not exactly new to this series, been about a year since i first watched the anime. i'm now just done with my second reread of the manga, so i would like to share whatever comes to mind.

i would like to start this off saying that i don't think many people see beyond what meets the eye. i've seen others say that this series is sexist and misogynistic, etc etc. but i don't think that's the case at all. in fact, it's the complete opposite. how so? let's start from the beginning (apologies for being messy i'm never good at organizing my thoughts lol) (contains spoilers)

cheeky angel revolves around our main character, megumi amatsuka, a beautiful angelic girl who believes she was once a boy. hence she is determined to return to her previous state with the help of her best friend, miki. she meets a thug who falls heads over heels with her after she's the first to beat him up, then save him when he was in a pinch. soon, a strange group forms around megumi, called the megu-dan, with a goal to protect her, as well as find the magic book.

this series is one of, if not the only series which i feel handles the shallow and cringe "gender swap" troupe very well by using it to explore important themes, such as: what is masculinity?

the reason megumi wants to become a boy in the first place, is because society around her constantly pushes that "boy = strong, girl = weak". she ends up hurting genzo (recap: he saves her from glass shards) and those around her because "she is a girl". not only that, megumi feels frustrated that she is unable to help miki escape her fate. this thought of "i am a girl, therefore i will never be able to do it" hence becomes the cause of her insecurity, and is whar holds her back from her true potential.

now the genie, what does he do? imo he's hella clever. by altering memories to make her believe she was once a boy, megumi is no longer bounded by this thought, and hence is able to do what she wants fearlessly. at the end she also says to the genie that her wish was granted. what wish? to be able to protect others. like how she managed to save her friends time and time again.

"being a man" represents courage, justice, and this wish. thus this becomes her ideal, as well as many of the other characters, in their own unique ways.

it is megumi's "manliness" which causes every character to be drawn towards her, people who need to learn this "manliness". genzo, who is the toxic, shallow personification of "being a man". kobayashi, whose hesitance stops him from achieving his dream. fujiki and yasuda, who believes they amount to nothing but the stereotypes they live by. throughout the series though, you can see them overcome these obstacles, with megumi serving as the catalyst.

then what is "being a woman"? this one is a bit more unclear, but from how i see it, megumi represents "being a woman", and "being a woman" represents freedom. the way megumi does things her own way and how she wants it, a stark contrast to miki and others around her who are bound to stereotypes and expectations. yet at the same time, it's ironic, because "being a woman" is what holds megumi down. thus this leads to her identity crisis. at first glance it might seem megumi is just worried about her physical appearance but in truth it is about whether she wants to have her wish, or remain free as she is.

however, at the end of the series, she learns to accept herself as who she is, no longer needing the idea that "she used to be a man" to spur her actions. thus the comment by miki: "she seems more manly now, and more feminine too". because the conflict she battled for so long is finally over, she is now both "a man" and "a woman", someone who can protect others, as they want to.

the overall message of the series is: you don't have to be a man, to "be a man", just be yourself

(i will go in depth with other characters in future posts and explain how they tie into this message and theme. also, just post whatever i think about the series.)

(ive seen some people say this is an lgbtq series about gender. though the similarities, i would like to disagree. it’s really just about “being you, as you are”. this is why i don’t enjoy people putting labels on the characters, like saying megumi is trans, miki is lesbian, kobayashi is bisexual, etc etc. headcanons are fine, sure, but claiming them canon like what some people do, nah. the whole point of the series is that people are not bound to words, ideas, stereotypes and traditions. assigning them a label, defeats the purpose)