#he’s just a red life enderman guy thing?

[shepards-folly]

[the-pigeon]

omg its the blorbo? from the show?

fun notes under readmore :D

any time i do a lineup of characters i also limit myself to one human because i have more fun doing that. and for life series martyn was My Guy. just a regular ass dude. and for hermitcraft it was also gem. and then gem joined life series. so now i have two Regular Guys. so thats fun

anyway quick fire notes

grian scarlet macaw obviously and no eyes. because his skin

scar's white hair from his red last life skin. so hot. also the blue things are bc vex

mumbo doesnt have a mouth. when he talks his moustache just moves up and down

impulse demon and skizz angel because yay besties. skizz is also enderman because its fun to draw and thats most of what i care about when i draw lol

tango my skrunkly ass guy

etho is Not any sort of arctic fox. promise. nothing fluffy about him

bdubs is. posessed by a glare.

martyn has two copper rings tied to his necklace bc him and mumbo were married in last life and im never letting it go

ren dog. puppy

scar, bigb and pearl all have one of grian's feathers. tango has one of jimmys and scott has one but he hides it

pleeeasaase if you have any questions about my deissn ask me because i would Love to ramble on and on about them

[centipedelightning]

Could you do an Undertale, Underfell, and maybe Underswap with an enderman-like S/O, like they're really tall, jet black skin, can teleport, the whole shebang. But instead of eye contact making them aggressive, it just makes them really anxious and on edge.

(To clarify, I see teleporting and short cutting as to different things. Teleporting is instantaneous disappearing and then reappearing while shortcutting is more like a portal type thing)

(Love your hcs, btw. Here, have some chocolate 🍫 ❤️)

Enderman-like OCs and stuff are always so cool bc Endermen are cool. And thank you!! can't have chocolate without strawberries though! so here !! 🍓🍓🍓. I agree btw! I don't always write it, but I've always seen shortcuts as needing to happen at the edge of the screen/at certain points in the world like doorways. So portal-like if you don't think about it too much!

| UT/UF/US x Enderman-esque!Reader || Romantic || Fluff |

Sans

How neat!

Up until meeting you, he's been the only Monster that can disappear and reappear he knows.

On the surface, he definitely likes to race you and see who can get further faster. The deciding factor is genuinely only on if you can teleport before Sans can get to a shortcut.

Y'all's score is about even.

Listen. This man is like 5'2" (~157cm). Even if you aren't exceptionally tall, like 6' (~182cm), he has to try to look in your eyes.

Try to tell him pretty early on in the relationship, but even if you put it off you really don't need to worry too much.

For others though, he tries to act as a mediator to give you a second to prepare yourself.

His life as a stand-up comedian has also given him a few tips and tricks to help you.

Things like "Look just slightly past the person you're talking to" and "Look right between their eyes"

Once you guys are pretty established in your relationship Sans makes sure to keep something for you to hold onto in his pocket.

Sometimes it's a fidget toy. Sometimes it's a roll of tape he snagged out of the junk drawer on the way out the door.

Truly depends on the day.

Papyrus

"PLEASE TELL ME YOU DON'T USE YOUR TELEPORTING TO BE A LAZY-BONES LIKE MY BROTHER"

Tred... Carefully here.

He thinks it's neat sure, but if he catches you teleport from the couch to the kitchen for a snack back to the couch prepare to be lectured.

He's not mad at you he's just passionate.

You can buy his silence very easily if you are willing to surprise him with a grocery run without needing to drive.

Papyrus is scary good at reading people, so if you don't mention that you can't do eye contact, he'll figure it out by the end of the day.

So, regardless of whether you tell him or not, he will start fully turning his head away from you while you guys talk.

He doesn't even need to be able to see your face normally.

He can be doing something with his back to you and he will instinctively turn his head.

Yes, that does probably mean he turned enough to see you slightly.

That also means he can see what he's doing less so you might want to remind him to look forward lest y'all have a mess.

As a crafty guy, he'll make you some little item for you to hold onto if you need to.

Introduce him to fidget toys. He'll lose his mind.

Red

Stressed mostly.

Underground, someone who can teleport is bad news.

Once you get into his good graces, he's your biggest fan.

Have you ever been a living taxi? Do you want to be? regardless of the answer Red is gonna try to mooch a free trip out of you all the time.

Similar to Sans, he's short. You really don't need to worry about constant eye contact from him.

Or any Monster for that matter. I've always seen Fell-verses as not being eye contact heavy for probably obvious reasons.

Red still does try to give you some tips and they are somewhat similar to Sans'.

He likes to whittle things with interesting textures for you to hold and mess with.

Think something like a little animal figure with ridges and bumps and stuff.

Edge

So here's the thing about Edge.

He is not dumb and he is very emotionally intelligent.

That awareness of the world does not overpower his lack of chill.

He makes the Most Intense eye contact with people and you are going to need to tell him to knock it off.

Because you can be completely turned away from him and you will still feel his gaze.

Once your relationship progresses more, he stops trying to turn you to stone with his eye sockets.

By that point, he will also be comfortable telling you to do whatever you want so you don't need to worry yourself about looking in other people's eyes. If they say anything he is more than ready to tell them off for you.

Obviously, he also has a similar worry to his brother about your teleportation. At least initially. He's in the royal guard and a high-ranking member at that! He has a right to be a little wary.

What he won't tell you is that he's easy to please so you can do the bare minimum to prove your friendship/interest in him and he folds.

If you're the type that's into it, he really enjoys sparring with you. He thinks your teleporting is a really fun challenge.

Edge will find you the tiniest, most obscenely complex puzzle boxes on the market to give you.

He says it's something about keeping your mind sharp but it's more so insurance that you won't get bored of it too quickly.

That and he likes bragging about his datemate being able to solve complex puzzles.

Blue

Despite the height difference, he looks you in the eyes super hard all the time.

It's not to be mean or anything! He's just passionate and forgetful.

This is one of the few guys where avoiding eye contact is gonna be more on you.

He'll notice after a bit during conversation and relax a bit but until then...

He thinks your teleporting is pretty neat!

He's not crazy about the lazy applications of your ability, but who's he to tell you to stop teleporting?

He complains even less once he realizes you can take the both of you on spontaneous, last-minute date nights.

He likes to give you his things to hold onto.

He tries to keep it to a reasonable size but you have ended up with one of his action figures before.

Guess you can carry it in a bag?

If you like much smaller objects he'll give you cool rocks out of his collection

Stretch

He was already a couch potato before meeting you, he's even worse now.

To shortcut he still has to get up and walk to a spot where he can but you? You can just poof from wherever?

Yeahhhh you're on snack duty from now until forever. That includes the convenience store.

Force him to come with you. Don't let him get too comfortable.

Stretch isn't big on eye contact himself, so neither of you has ever had a problem with it.

Stretch will find you cool knickknacks to hold onto. usually super little ones with a button or switch. Something tactile.

If it's your style, he is also willing to sew you a little stuffed animal or something. It makes it happy to know it's being loved regularly.

[mary-games-and-arts]

AvA/M Cast Redesign

Phew, well.. I DID IT I REDESIGNED EVERYONE! Time to present them all again, but this time with some more info, right?

Color Gang

Green (He/him) - 17 y.o. | Let's say he's literally a perfectionist okay? Green is the one of a protective friend but can annoy his brother Red sometimes. His love of his life is Blue

Yellow (She/her) - 16 y.o. | A girl who knows everything about redstone, Minecraft commands and style. Has a twin sister Pinkie (Keep in mind that Pinkie is not a canon character. She's my AvM OC). Also Yellow has a partner Red

The Second Coming/TSC/Second/Orange (He/They) - 17 y.o. | A sleepyhead but somehow understands math and physics(unlike me ;v;). They're really overprotective over their friends and have their own powers but they're not aware of them(let's say AvA VI didn't happen yet). Chosen is Second's sister. Also Sec is in love with Purple

Blue (She/her) - 16 y.o. | Really knows her thing when it comes to brewing potions and gardening. Has bandages cuz AvM Ep. 20 events. Can get worried if anyone of the gang gets sick. Loves Green and his tunes

Red (He/him) - 15 y.o. | Apparently the youngest one of the group. He's a clumsy guy and also a prankster. Got possessed by Herobrine twice. Was in a timeout once cuz messed with Yellow's staff and the lucky block. Yellow is his girlfriend and Green is his brother. Oh and his pets are his friends

The Royal Duo + The Angelic Trio

Purple (She/They) - 16 y.o. | A little shy but very nice girl. Considers MT as her older sister. Still has trust issues but is trying to fix it. Cherishes her dead mother Orchid and doesn't give a damn about her dad RB. Second is her boyfriend

MT/Mango Tango/Queen Orange (She/her) - 20 y.o. | A young adult who was a queen once just to destroy Minecraft cuz it took away her little brother Gold. Tries to move on from Gold's death and now considers Purple as her younger sis. She's on neutral terms with Color Gang. Her husband is actually an Enderman named Jacob (Tulip said that we can have our own Jacob so)

Gold (He/him) - 12 y.o. | A smol kid who is MT's brother and had unfortunately died from Minecraft. Observes his sister and spends his time with Orchid and Victim. Sometimes wishes he could hug MT one last time

Orchid (She/her) - 38 y.o./ | A caring woman who is also Purple's mother. Has no empathy for RB cuz he left her and Purple. Unfortunately died from an unknown disease and now observes her child from above

Victim (They/Them) - 25 y.o. | A guy who never experienced life for once. Tries to develop themselves and find their own personality and hobbies. Currently is friends with Orchid and Gold

RB, Alan and The AvA Duo

RB (He/him) - 40 y.o. | A ex-husband of Orchid and ex-dad for Purple. Left cuz he thought his daughter was "pathetic and would never protect herself from any danger"

Alan (He/him) - 34 y.o. | The creator himself of the whole AvA/M community. Considers Chosen and Second as his kids, but also has a real life family

The Dark Lord/TDL/Dark (She/her) - 18 y.o. | The terrorist of the whole Internet herself and Alan is her creator. She was created to defeat Chosen but she teamed up with them and confronted Alan. Somehow survived Second's attack and now is trying to change. Has a girlfriend Chosen

The Chosen One/TCO/Chosen (She/They) - 19 y.o. | The Chosen One herself who just wants to live peacefully with Dark after all the trauma she endured. Saved a kid once and now friends with her. Is currently being wanted by Rocket Corporation. Dark is her girlfriend

The Rocket Corporation

Hazard (He/They) - literally a robot- | A restored robot who can control electricity as his power. He's also a part of the mercenary team

Agent Smith (He/him) - 24 y.o. | The main mercenary of the corporation who can use any Adobe Animate tool. Has a small crush on Vic

Alive!Vic (They/them) - 25 y.o. | The first stick ever created by Alan that somehow came to life to get the revenge they so desperately want. They're a leader of a whole corporation and they hunt for Chosen cuz she knows where Alan is

Ballista (He/him) - 27 y.o. | The shortest mercenary of the team. He can turn his head into a tank and also adores his big pixel sword

Primal (She/her) - 28 y.o. | The tallest mercenary and the only woman in the team. Is good at archery and can get buff if needed

[fountainpenguin]

"And there's a magic act that saws Regina in half, and this time it will take! Now, that's a party!" (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 18 - “Snap (Truce Night)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

---

Truce Night signals the whole Dog's Life server to settle down for sleep, unless you're Joel and Ren with a plan to lure in phantoms on a stormy night... or maybe Impulse, who's been on the hunt for Bdubs since Session 2 began. Don't worry about him! He's not on red, so he can't kill the guy.

After all, that would be against the rules...

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

Etho-Scar Alliance

Unaffiliated

GoodTimesWithScar - Pillager

🖤  💜  🖤

It really is a big cave. Cleo, Tango, Pearl, and Jimmy probably don't even know anyone's lurking around down here in the second tunnel layer. Or is it third or fourth? They're pretty deep underground. Scar drags his fingertips along the damp wall, tracing stringy moss against his nails. It flutters. He can feel this world breathing like a coiled dragon underneath the surface.

Amethyst nearby. I can feel it pulsing…

And there, around the next corner, is the friend he came to find! Scar keeps his trudging footsteps heavy, and not only because he's limping now (his glitch clinging on the back of his leg; difficult to bend). His crossbow doesn't make a fantastic cane. Mumbo went and tucked his bed in the back of the little cave. He sits at the foot of it, the sheets still neatly made up. Yeah, Scar's been there. When there's red life juices thrumming in your code, it's hard to settle down.

Mumbo's hunched over there at the end, rubbing his thumb against his diamond sword. He's in his pajama skin - loose white T-shirt with all-too-familiar red text scrawled across the chest - and breathes slowly, warmly, in a way that flutters his mustache.

Oh, he's very red, you see… but Scar is not afraid of him. Mumbo is his friend.

The torchlight flickers against the pale, sharp edges of Mumbo's face. The blade is sharp enough, he's already nicked himself a couple times on both hands. White marks expose the first layer of goopy spawn egg code stuff between skin and soul. As Scar steps in on swaying feet, Mumbo lifts his eyes. The torch crackles halfway between them.

"I feel nothing," is the first thing Mumbo says. That's his greeting - all of that - and Scar tilts up his mouth in patient sympathy. Mumbo keeps picking his thumb against the blade, even though he's no longer looking at it. Hot eyes fixate on Scar's… Hot and cool! Very cool. He likes to think himself cool in the head, anyway. Mumbo murmurs, "See, that's why I don't think this game's for me. I feel nothing."

"Oh, you love me. I'm always there for my friends. Everybody loves me. In fact, that's why I'm here."

Mumbo lurches to his feet. He swings his arm, bringing the blade straight so it points at Scar's throat from several blocks away. "I could kill you," he says. His voice doesn't slip, doesn't tremble, but lands without emotion. "I could carve you like a pumpkin. You too are a lump of pixels with nothing inside, falsely smiling. I'd feel nothing, I suspect."

"No, no," says Scar, striding forward. He's not afraid of Mumbo, silly! Not Mumbo in his bare feet and pajamas, his eyes wide and wild. Mumbo's a good guy; Mumbo is his friend. He steps closer. Mumbo's shoulders tremble. He tilts back his head, staring through Scar like they're separated by a curtain of fire and nothing more.

Gently (firmly), Scar knocks Mumbo's blade aside with his knuckles. "You just need a good murder in your system, Mumbo! Red life is where all the good times are! I might even be jealous- you get to have all the fun! Why, I've got to uphold deals and alliances, and I'm carrying Etho's weight along with it, and killing BigB didn't give me nearly the rush I wanted. Would I lie to you about the good times?"

"I could kill you. I could kill you, Scar."

Grian stole the traits of Enderman

"Um- No, no! You actually can't- See, I'm all alone down here; that would be so mean… You have to be purple for the turn of an episode at least, I think I heard. I'm looking for a friend!"

"I could kill you," Mumbo says again, knuckles tight around the hilt of his sword. It's still extended, and Scar's so close now that it's an easy flick for Mumbo to press the tip of it against Scar's iron chestplate. Having literal iron abs would be a funny sight. Diamond abs would be amazing. That probably hurts when doing crunches. Imagine all that grating back and forth… Diamond cuts diamond- that's a real thing. No, it's true!

"Oh, it's Truce Night… Killing me will have to wait."

Mumbo's glowing eyes bore in a little deeper. "It's not Truce Night 'til the double beeps go off. You're in my cave."

PearlescentMoon went to bed. Sweet dreams!

Scar's hand glitters white. He shifts his crossbow from his inventory to his main hand. Mumbo's blade still rests against his chest, but in all the red haze - and in all his red protests - Mumbo looks frightened. He's backed into a corner, and if he's spooked, he'll definitely swing. Will he, though? Scar's allowed to strike back if Mumbo hits him first. Reds are mostly dead, you know… Reds have wild, mind-messing mods pumping in their code. "But I want to team with you!" And he laughs. Isn't that obvious? Has he not been clear?"

"You can't, Scar." Mumbo's tone is short and fierce, like the blade pressing into Scar's chestplate.

"Oh, you were wonderful at scaring people back in Last Life."

There's a pause. Mumbo's eyes fidget like he's snapping screenshots or zooming on Scar's face. The sword point scratches, diamond squealing over iron. It doesn't drop any lower. "Well, that's quite encouraging. Thank you for, um… saying such flattering things about me." Mumbo blinks. "I don't really know what I'm doing here; to be perfectly honest, I feel like I was absolutely pants at being a red name last time. I really don't know if I deserve to be here."

"Why, you're here to be my friend, of course!"

"Am I? Really?"

"Oh, of course, of course… Have you seen Bdubs, by the way?"

Perplexity (Perplexion) stitches its way across every line of Mumbo's face. For the first time, the sword scrapes downward. It drops from Scar's chestplate and dangles, tip aimed at his heel instead. Mumbo upturns one hand. He holds it out, awaiting payment. "Have you brought me something nice? I can kill him for you. Would you like me to kill him for you?"

Such a polite request… Mumbo is so very polite. It's one of the beautiful qualities that makes him such a nice friend. Scar grabs his hand instead, shaking up and down. Mumbo's mouth twitches at the contact, though he keeps breathing and doesn't jerk back his hand. "Oh, no," he says, "but Bdubs is at the surface! And Bdubs is such a lovely man. It's our job to protect him."

"That… sounds like the exact opposite of my job right about now, Scar."

[ Full chapter link at top ]

[bugsinthebayou]

I got my buddy my pal kassandra @brothbitch to name and describe the lifesteal members. (we only did the ones i know/know of.) he only knows them via osmosis. heres what we got.

Branzy

-Okay so first of all his name is Branzy and he is. Well.

-Imagine a trans guy.

-Now imagine if that guy was subtlety fucked up.

-Now imagine if that guy was actually like really really fucked up but hung out with an even more fucked up guy so people just think he’s the normal one.

-Thats branzy

-Also autistic vibes but i get that from any character you like

Clownpierce

-Okay right off the bat his name is Clown

-he has a very nice voice according to you

-He’s like intimidating but that’s just cause he hangs out with a guy more pathetic than him. In reality he’s not that scary

-Also I LOVE MY PATHETIC WIFE energy

-Supports branzy's wrongs more than he does his (admittedly few) rights tbh

Reddoons

-Oh uh. Hmm… The tux isn’t quite capitalist enough when paired with the shades but does give off cooler than you energy…

-His name is Red

-He's like an authority-figure sort of character?

-Chill but will turn on you if it suits him- at the beginning.

-Eventually after an arc or 2, he realizes the meaning of friendship.

-True friends get to see behind his glasses.

-His voice is probably really nice.

-Why are his shoes so detailed and why are his soles flesh colored

Spepticle

-OOoH another red!

-Hmm.. He’s like, a really nice guy.

-His name is probably something like. Bl..an? Blain? His names Blain.

-He’s just a chill guy, his streams consist of being a friend.

-People give his character angst even though it has none.

-His character has a lot of music symbolism though.

-He kinda looks like an allay but I don’t think that has anything to do with anything

roshambogames

-Ewughq

-What is that

-His lore is that he’s like. Glitched somehow. He’s the one with a lot of angst.

-Uhhh. His name is brock. Short for Brocken.

-His character probably has something like memory loss?

-It’s like.. a skeleton? And it’s face is split in two?

-Anyways definitely the biggest theatre kid of the server so far.

-That’s all I’ve got to say about this one though

parrotx2

-:0!! Parrot boy!

-You talked about this one when you were discussing the uhhh owl lingo!!

-Okay hum. Well I forgot the canon name…

-But. I’m going to call him. Cl…Ering? Clering??

-He’s like. The mischievous one. The parrots always are. Something stolen? House burned down? It was clering.

ashswagg

-ooOh!! Another suit boy!!

-He and red have definitely teamed up at some point.

-I’m going to call him purple which by lifesteal rules is like naming a child girl.

-Uhh. He’s like Red but more strict. That thing on his tie? Definitely from red.

-They have like a good cop bad cop thing going on but they constantly break through it to just talk to eachother.

-Definitely a ride or die duo.

-Upon closer inspection I actually don’t think purple is the stricter one.

rekrap2

-oooH!!!

-Okay hm.

-He and blain are like unproblematic besties except this guy actually does end up doing some fucked up shit. (Blain supports him tho.)

-I think he enjoys using tnt for his evil doings. On his streams he’s always either farming or being an evil master mind. On other peoples streams he’s just a little freak.

-Probably the most normal person on the server but everyone still gawks at him for no reason.

-Uhh.. Zackery is his real life name but on the server he’s known as Zee.

ItzSubz

-Okay enderman hybrid obviously. Either that or like. Demon.

-This one is definitely transgender. Popular among people who enjoy crying.

-His arc probably centers around being dehumanized. Tries to be feral, is not very good at it.

-(He likes chaos he just hates the prep it takes.)

-Has a dog. Would die for said dog. Not very good at causing chaos but touch that dog and you fucking die.

-He judges people often. He is judged often. Probably the person taking this the most serious character on the server but he accidentally breaks out of it a lot.

-His and Brock’s story is pretty intertwined but it hasn’t been revealed yet

-Anyways his name is. Mal.

PrinceZam

-Okay right off the bat he’s like. The ruler of the server.

-He’s not actually but he goes around saying he is.

-Clown and Mal have tried to kill him and they have failed.

-His name is Smiley. King Smiley.

-He, like Mal, does not have the grinding necessary for backing him up but like. Everyone likes him so it never gets him into trouble. Other than with Clown and Mal.

-But like, he’s good at PVP I think.

-Oh also refuses to wear helmets

-Cant cover up that crown y’know?

Vitalasy

-OH KAY this guy definitely has something to with Mal.

-I think his name is something like. Icious. Or Cal. Something to do with Mal.

-He is also incredibly dark and broody. Everyone can tell he and Mal are somehow related except for him and Mal.

-They will just get into the most obvious “YOU GUYS HAVE SHARED HISTORY TOGETHER” scenarios and walk out like “what’s that guys problem.”

-They have teamed up to kill people before tho.

[i showed him vitalasy's youtube pfp]

-Oh my god I take everything back all of his videos that are not on lifesteal are bedwars related.

-Mal is really into the roleplay thing but he himself is just chilling.

-He mostly just hangs out whenever he’s on the server, his name is just his channel name. Something like Mkalk? I cannot read that so I’m assuming that’s what it says

-Mal will text him in advance to do lore, but he’ll mainly just watch until it’s time to fight.

-He is AMAZING at PVP. Absolute god.

-Also enjoys grinding and is good at it.

PlanetLord

-Oh I’ve seen this one! Didn’t learn anything about him. I think he has a dark gray version though?

-Anyways he certainly is on the server. Mainly a neutral party but just in the fact that he has no Allies. He logs on every day and chooses violence. Also good at pvp, mid at grinding.

-After every battle he does a skin change and pretends to be completely innocent.

-Then immediately after the person he fought walks by he changes back and insults them.

aand done! god damn

[oraclemilf]

Hare-Brained Scheme

MCYTblr AU Exchange @mcytblraufest gift for @apatura-iris-atelier

For easier reading convenience and applicable tags check it out on ao3

Technoblade had been in a lot of sticky situations in his life. If Technoblade were the kind of person to be completely honest with himself, he’d admit that maybe some of those times were… potentially avoidable. Maybe.

It’s not as though Technoblade is stupid, far from it, he’s regarded by his community as a guy who can get things done.

Do you need someone to calculate the odds you win the prank war with your neighbor? You call Technoblade.

Do you need someone to tell you why all your crops keep dying? You call Technoblade.

Do you need someone to help you fudge your part of a group presentation? You call Technoblade.

It’s just… Technoblade had a weakness. A massive, debilitating weakness that just so happened to be extraordinarily easy to exploit. However, Technoblade, in all his infinite wisdom, learned to keep this weakness a secret, so no one could ever exploit him.

“I cannot believe your plan to lure citizens into a metal cage with carrots actually worked.”

Some situations, however, were completely unavoidable.

Techno groans as the world begins to take form around him in throbbing, painful waves. He hears something clatter and painstakingly wrenches his eyelids open to stare down the startled form of his assailants in a dirty, abandoned warehouse.

At first glance, Technoblade sees two figures, both clad in haphazard villainous costumes and cowering away from his deceptive carrot prison.

One appears to be some sort of avian hybrid, as evidenced by his small red wings flaring behind him and flapping as he back-pedals away from the cage, pulling the other with him by the arm.

The other figure, being much taller than the other, trips over his acquaintance, before face planting on the concrete with a yelp and belatedly teleporting away a second too late. Techno nods to himself. An enderman hybrid then.

Both costumes follow a similar pattern, just being black jogging suits outfitted with elbow and knee pads with hand-crafted cardboard devil masks. However, it seems the enderman hybrid attempted to spice up his persona by adding a genuinely authentic-looking crown and jewelry, while the avian skipped the bells-and-whistles and instead attempted to add an emblem in red duct tape on his mask and chest. What it was supposed to be, was anyone's guess. If Techno was gonna take a shot in the dark, he'd say it looked kind of like an upside-down T.

Techno hauls himself into a sitting position, before cocking his head at his attackers, unimpressed.

“Bruh… What were in those carrots?” Techno moans, rubbing his head. He unpins his flower crown from his updo and shakes his braids loose. “I mean, they were delicious, but I did not want to take that nap.”

The enderman hybrid shakes himself out of his stupor, before grabbing the arm of his compatriot and turning to whisper into his ear.

“Tommy, I thought you said your drug mix would keep him out for a whole day! It’s only been an hour!” He whisper-shouts at the avian, unaware that Techno’s ears begin to twitch as he speaks.

“Shut up Ranboo!” The avian, Presumably-Tommy, growls at Probably-Ranboo. “My drugs are– My drugs are like beautiful, respectful women who are perfect all the time. It’s his stupid flowery pink bitch body that's broken.”

Techno rolls his eyes at the squabbling of the Definitely-Teenagers and leans over from his sitting position and taps a sharp nail against the lock of his cage.

“I hate to break up the middle school drug ring committee but can I go home now?" Techno drawls, withdrawing his outstretched hand to slump against the bars. “Because as much fun as this is, I need to go take a Big Kid dose of Tylenol.”

“I– you– bitch– we’re not fucking middle-schoolers bitch! We’re big men and supervillains and we’re holding you for ransom and you’re gonna die bitch!” Tommy splutters, going red in the face, still maintaining his distance from the cage.

“You’re not going to die if we get our ransom money.” Ranboo amends helpfully.

“Right… So what is this like one of those social experiment videos for TikTok or…” Techno’s sentence trails off as he begins to look around the abandoned warehouse for hidden cameras, still leaning on the bars for support.

Tommy’s wings puff up, as he begins to stomp towards the cage. “What? No! We’re fucking real-deal supervillains bitch! Look scared!”

“Mm… Nah.”

Tommy’s hands ball into fists at his side, and his wings flare wide, which would almost be impressive if his wingspan was over 2 feet.

‘Listen Bitch-Face! I’m the Red Streak, and I’m the meanest electrokinetic you’ve ever seen. Yeah, I’ll shock your grandma while she’s knitting you a scarf, and then, while she’s all shocked and shit, I’ll throw her off a pier!” Tommy’s hands begin to spark for dramatic effect.

It’s almost intimidating until one of the sparks catches on the edge of his sweatshirt top and ignites. For a moment, it seems to evade his attention, as both Techno and Ranboo stare at him wide-eyed, in abject horror. Smugly, Tommy tries to plant his hands on his hips in victory before noticing the small blaze that is making its way up his side. Shrieking, Tommy throws himself to the ground and begins to stop, drop, and roll in what can only be described as practiced precision.

On the heels of Tommy’s failure, Ranboo seems to catch his second wind and struts forward as well. “And I am the cunning villain Call of Duty! And I possess the ability to call simple-minded creatures, much like yourself, to my aid!”

Ranboo begins to fish around in his jogging suit pocket before procuring a small tree frog, that he gently sits on the ground.

“Attack Minion!”

Minion valiantly hops towards Technoblade, crossing the barred threshold into enemy territory. Minion faces her enemy and daringly launches her tongue at Technoblade’s fragile kneecap, hitting it with unimpaired precision.

Even so, the accuracy does nothing to change the fact that tree frogs are harmless to any creature larger than a fly. To Minion’s credit, Techno is impressed enough with her bravery (and cuteness) that he abandons sulking against the cage wall and scoops her up to place in his overall pocket.

“So is it just frogs?”

“Huh?”

“Is it just frogs that you can control?” Technoblade asks, using one finger to gently pet Minion on the head.

“No! Of course not!” Ranboo splutters, disgruntled.

“Yeah!” Tommy pops up, freshly extinguished. “He can also do toads!”

“Shut up To– Shut up Red Streak!”

“Okay. Okay,” Techno waves his hands in a calming gesture, instantly quelling any bickering before it had the chance to start, “here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna let me go because between you and me no one is gonna pay any ransom for me. I live alone with my dogs and I don’t think they’ve learned to crack safes yet.”

The boys begin to protest and Techno raises a finger to shush them.

“And I’ll help you come up with less awful villain names. Because c’mon bro Red Streak? That– Heh– That sounds like something you don’t wanna see after you wipe. I mean, at that point just stick with Tommy.”

“How do you know my-”

“And Ranboo don’t even get me started, like, you just stole the name of a mid-level first-person shooter, and their lawyers are ruthless bro, you’re not gonna be able to market anything, not a good time.”

“How- how do you know our names?” Ranboo stutters, his look of shock evident even under his mask.

Wordlessly, Technoblade motions up towards his giant, fluffy bunny ears.

“Oh.” His shoulders slump, defeated.

“Fucking- fucking wait a second.” Tommy shakes his head, pulling off his mask. “Now that you know are real identities, why don’t we just kill you, and come up with better names ourselves?”

Ranboo perks up. “Yeah!”

Tommy reignites his lightning, which now looks much more intimidating when not being aimed at his clothing. Ranboo unsheathes a sword from his belt and they both advance on Technoblade. Minion lets out a strangled croak and ducks down into Techno’s pocket in fear.

Techno reassuringly pats his Minion Pocket, sighing. “Fine. I’ll choose blood.”

As the boys advance onto his cage, Techno rears back and slams the door open, sending both boys flying. He then uses both hands to propel himself forward and flip onto the top of the cage.

“It’s over! I have the high ground!” Technoblade yells triumphantly. Minion echoes him in a croak of victory.

“Fucking how?” Tommy splutters. “That door was locked!”

Laughing, Technoblade draws out a slightly worse-for-wear bobby pin out of his Minion Pocket, before tucking one of his braids back with it.

Both pseudo-supervillains clamber to their feet as Techno readies himself for another attack, before they’re interrupted by the warehouse door crumpling like wet tissue paper. Stepping into the warehouse, accompanied by his horde of sentient shadow vassals, is the Top Hero, Crowfather.

Everyone is silent as he strides towards the battle. Technoblade can’t help a small gasp of surprise. He didn’t think these vagrant teens would be big enough targets to warrant hero attention, much less attention for the number one hero in all of Ohessempi.

Crowfather dramatically sweeps off his hat and disregarding Technoblade entirely, turns his steely gaze towards the amateur supervillains. Both gulp as they cease all aggressive action to cower.

“Ranboo. Tommy. You little shits are in so much trouble.”

Oh. Crowfather knows the vagrant teens. Okay.

“We weren’t actually gonna--”

“He kicked us--”

“We just wanted some money to–”

“You never wanna hang out with us anymore--”

Crowfather holds up a hand. “Nope. Not listening. Both of you get home before I got to start crafting a belt.” He reaches for his Hardcore Heart belt in warning.

At the mention of a belt, both boys gather up their supplies and scamper off into the night, escaping Crowfather’s Disappointed Dad aura for a short while. Some shadow vassals trail after them, Crowfather clearly not quite done with either child yet.

As soon as they’re out of sight, Crowfather’s menacing aura dissipates and he groans, hands shooting up to rub at his temples.

“Sorry about the idiots. They’re feral.”

At the display of genuine human emotion, Techno shakes off some of his star-struck awe to shrug nonchalantly.

“Eh. I was handling it.”

Crowfather glances around, nodding at the evidence of Ranboo and Tommy were getting their asses kicked.

"I can see that. Impressive, Tommy is a powerful electrokinetic and Ranboo is an experienced telepath. What troop unit do you belong to mate? I’ll write you a good review.”

Techno shakes his head, grimacing.

“Nah, Nah, Nah. I’m not a suit-wearing kind of guy. I’m just a farmer. Just got caught in the wrong place wrong time, you know how it is… If I’m free to leave..?”

Techno hops off the cage and glances rapidly in between Crowfather in the door, indicating his desire to no longer be there.

Crowfather blinks surprised. “Sure mate, although I think you’d be good–” His sentence peters off as Techno quickly rushes past him and hops off into the night.

All Crowfather hears as the pink blur whips past him is a distant “Byeeeee.”

*** A short while later, Philza, the feared villain Angel of Death soars high above the crumbling expanse of his kingdom, watching his civilians unseen under a cloak of darkness.

Finally spotting what he was looking for, he lands on a nearby building and watches as Technoblade arrives home, mobbed by dogs, and disappears into his house, only to reemerge a short while later with a watering can.

Watching Techno tend to his flowers with a mild sort of interest, Philza blindly digs through his pockets for his burner. Upon finding it, he flips it open and speed-dials the only number saved.

Eyes shadowed by the brim of his hat, the Angel of Death smiles. “Hey, Sneeg? I think I found the perfect fit for our plan.”

Below, Techno finishes up tending to his plants early. Maybe it’s just his run-in with the teens, but he can’t shake the feeling of being watched.

[jadespeedster17]

Cursed - 3rd Life SMP

Could be seen as Romantic Desert Duo, because I'm falling hard a fast for these two idiots. (I’m Aro Ace guys, and I have a hard time gauging what is and isn’t a pairing thing hehe)

- I don't see enough Evil/Villain Scar AU's, and I really just want to play Grian who falls head over heels for this man. Despite the fact Scar is a red life and a murdered and a bit crazy.

- TW for Possessive Behavior and Talks of Killing

Everything was normal, it was fine, working out okay enough. They claimed the sand biome, chopped down a bunch of dark oak trees, and built a house on the mountain. Grian felt like things were calm, and life was slowly devolving into a normal. Despite having only 3 lives, despite the fear of falling into the red, things were fine between him and Scar. The man who he owed his first life after a prank gone wrong, curses his sense of honor. And the same man who could con you out of your clothes and somehow convinced him to make a monopoly with sand of all things. Silver-tongued demon is an understatement when talking about Scar, he was a con man through and through. And yet Grian found he enjoyed the days in the hot sun with the man who had a thing against shirts.

Then it changed, Grian could only feel a cold dread settle into his stomach when Scar fell off the edge and lost his 2nd life. Red. Scar was now red. He could only let out a burst of hysterical laughter and at least collected the other's things. Yet the weight of it stayed on his body like lead-laced in blood, Grian owed his first life to a Red Lifer. And Red's were known to be sane or predictable, and if Scar wanted he could theoretically take Grian's first life in any way he wanted. The urge to flee as far from this place jumped into his throat, and his legs trembled to fly, fly far from this and place. The thought crossed quickly but was dashed by the sound of the footsteps. Scar was back, he looked paler than before. "Can we still be friends?" the question was sheepish as he gave red poppies and the soft pinkish-purple lilacs to Grian.

Nimbly tongue indeed, as Grian held the flowers in his hands, and he found himself smiling. "I still owe you my first life after all," he said, even if he wanted to screech at himself for saying such words. Scar's eyes light up at that, the red color seemed to shine like freshly spilled blood, swirling with inhuman desire. And despite the feeling of fear the bird in his head felt, Grian wanted to stare into those eyes, maybe he'd be able to lose the sense of fear it gave him. "Oh, that's right!" Scar said delighted now, the smile on his face both threatening and full of joy. Before he let out a hearty laugh, "Well this will work out well, let's break a boat with an angry Enderman, test a theory, and head home!" he clapped his hands together at that, the easy grin staying on his face.

Maybe this could work? Grian hoped so, pushing back the feeling of fear that lodged in his throat.

Or it was a pipe dream, waking up the next morning in the arms of a man whose skin was gray and eyes as red as the late sun. The man who convinced him to share a bed to keep out the cold of the desert night. "Might help if you wore a shirt." Grian had said one night, which got a snort of a laugh, and a whine. And Grian each night would let himself be hugged by strong arms and chest. Opened his eyes to red eyes staring into his own green, one arm around his waist, and the other on the back of his neck, tickling the baby hairs. Scar's eyes held lots to decipher, things Grian knew it'd take the whole day for him to understand. Though the one thing that stood out was amusement and something much deeper, near hungry he'd dare say.

"Morning little birdy." Scar's voice said, deep from waking up, rumbling in the chest that Grian was near pinned against. "Sleep well?" the question was soft against his ear. Though his heart was racing all the same, the words flee repeating over and over, his wings twitched. Grian steeled his nerves, "Don't really remember falling asleep." he admits, he remember being hugged from behind after laying down, then it was a dreamless sleep. Must have been very tired that night, given he had waited until alone to let out the tears that he had refused to let go around Scar.

A laugh, vibrating through his being, "Well it was about the same for me, yesterday was eventful hm?" a shark-like smile, but Grian returned with a tiny one of his own and a nod. "So what's the plan for today Scar?" Grian asked sitting up and the bird in his head calmed a bit being they weren't trapped in a predator's arms. Scar was huffing when he got up, grumbling about losing his bird. Grian's feathers near ruffled, but he shrugged it off, Scar was sleepy and seemed to like cuddling a lot. He looked back at the other laying on his back now to stare at the ceiling.

The silence stayed as he let Scar think of ideas, and plans, the smile slowly growing. "Given I'm red now, I guess my next objective is to get others to Red now also," he commented peering at Grian, he kept his reaction neutral, Scar was the first red life and would now feel the need to turn others red like himself. One life, and a life that demanded the blood of Greens and Yellows. "Well the easier targets would be Yellows," Grian commented moving to now face Scar, his legs under him. The blanket pooled around his waist, and also left Scar's chest exposed to the low light of the morning sun. He adverted his eyes up to the face, gosh why couldn't Scar keep some clothes on?!

A hum at that as hands laced over the top of his stomach, Scar tilted his head at the ceiling. "True," a tap of one finger, "though I've noticed Green Life people are rather skittish, it'll be fun to watch them run?" he suggested with a grin at Grian. Grian shrugged faintly, "Well Greens are cut out for fighting, running is easier than losing a life." he explains to Scar, just as an arm snaked around his waist. He let out a squeak that made him embarrassed, as he was pinned down to the bed. Scar leaned over him with the same grin on his face. Green eyes looked up at the ashen gray face, that was stretched to show a fanged smile.

"Can you run now though little bird?' Scar asked him as his hand pressed to Grian's chest, a pressure that was enough to keep him in place. No doubt feeling the thumping of Grian's heartbeat in his chest, the fear was back as he could only gap up at Scar. "I can feel your heart racing, are you scared of me?" Scar asked with a gentle tone, the edge of curiosity and amusement.

A shaky breath in and out, Grian didn't speak as Scar stared into his eyes.

"I could take your life you know, it's owed to me." Scar spoke in a soft voice, barely above a whisper, like speaking something secret. "And yet you stayed, given a handful of pretty flowers and a sad begging question." a hand reached up to run two fingers over his cheek and trace down to the edges of his jawline. "We could be red together, be bound in more than just word or contract." The bird was silent, trembling, caught in the paws of a large predator. Grian could only let his chin be tilted up to expose his neck and meet Scar's gaze head-on as they gripped his jaw. Though he could pull away, he didn't, letting the thumb and index hold him. "Care to tell me why you stay, even with knowing I want to kill you?" he asked, but the possessive tint was gone, filled with genuine curiosity.

The heartbeat of silence stayed, Grian's mouth felt dry as he ran his tongue over his teeth, "Maybe I just feel like it." Grian's voice rasped out finally after the staring contest they had. "Maybe I'm just doing this out of honor that could easily be misplaced." the finger twitched around his chin, "Or, maybe I'm the crazy on."

Who was to say what was going on in his head, to be honest Grian had no idea either.

But Scar's smile came back slowly at the last words, the thumb petted over his lips, "Or perhaps, there is something much deeper in that mind of yours that we'll bring to the surface." he suggested with a passive shrug of his own. "Greens are runners you say, or maybe they haven't found what makes them bite?"

A soft breath over the finger on his mouth, Grian's heartbeat was slowing down slowly, "We'll find out I guess." he said back to Scar, something in his chest jumped at the very thought. Excitement? Fear? Apprehension? Guess he really was the crazy one. He was possibly all three, eager for the future but also scared of what it'll turn him into. The desire was there though, here, now, he wanted to make it last. The swirl of emotions that made his head spin in circles, the rush of instincts, the pounding and slowing of his heart, and the question on his tongue: How far will you go into this red hallway?

They stayed like this for a moment before Scar got up and huffed out a laugh. "Well best get ready then Grian!" he said back to his chipper self. As if that did not just happen, possessive need and clinging want. "Got a lot to plan for, and I heard you're great at traps right?" he asked as Grian nodded stiffly. "Great! Meet you outside soon!" With that Scar got up and left the bed to outside, leaving behind Grian sitting up slowly.

He was shaking, breathless, and so much more. And Grian... Grian wanted more.

[tacom-literatureu-blog]

Right. So. We have a google slide for this but the list of characters is Very Long because we’ve listed Basically Every Character In Every SMP Even Slightly Related To The TACOMLU Ever. You’re not getting that today. Also the google slides is formatted Not Great so you’re not getting the raw material. I think I quoted like half of ‘Diabolical’ on Wels’ slide and he’s only been mentioned like, once in passing. We do have lots of Wels lore though lol. Maybe next book wink

So today we’re just gonna focus on major characters! Starting with the time quartet.

Grian- previously a Parrot Avian, forced into being a Watcher. Now he’s both.

Mumbo- Netherborn Enderman that was taken at a young age to participate in the Blood God Arena. Managed to survive long enough to get out with Blood God status. Stole part of Grian’s soul and inherited wings and Watcher magic from that.

Martyn- Elf/Fae that became a champion of the Listeners. I am so sorry Martyn we’ll get more lore for you soon.

Jimmy- Born on Hardcore mode with sea monster genes that gave him cod-like features. After dying for the first time, became an omen, harbinger and angel of Lady Death, gaining canary wings around death or disaster. Ever since Grian and Wilbur’s deaths, the wings have not gone away. Also a champion of the Listeners, has different powers to Martyn.

The Red King- A Blood God that, instead of wandering the worlds like his peers, is summoned. The pledge he made in Third Life gave him a presence in the new Renchanting on the DSMP, and Niki willingly gave up one of her lives to give him a physical body. Usually takes the form of Rendog, a wolf hybrid, but can change at will to any of his other forms.

Tommy- fucked up little code creature Scar made accidentally back in season 6. This is the best and only way to describe Tommy.

Tubbo- Goat hybrid [REDACTED] Captain Sparklez, [REDACTED] and unknown, who we know is [REDACTED].

Ranboo- Ok I know this isn’t super relevant but like. When I asked this question to Patton the formula he came up with gave me 150% of a person. First draft of this guy’s heritage and he is 1.5 people. So that’s fun. Explains a few things about Ranboo. I’m just gonna stick with ‘a mix of a bunch of different Enderman heritages rolled into one person’ for now and we’ll see what happens.

Wilbur- Patton’s the Wilbur enjoyer not me so I honestly have no idea. Bird-Fridge-Demigod baby. Trans of gender. Human somehow. Ha! Everyone point and laugh at the human! The only human in the active TACOMLU apart from [REDACTED]! Ok I asked and apparently he ‘evolved like a pokemon’ and now he is an Avian. Elytrian > Human > Avian

Phil- Corvid Avian and angel of death. Also husband of death so that’s extra cool points. Born on Hardcore mode like Jimmy (who is older than him btw)

Techno- Piglin, Blood God, you know the usual stuff.

Quackity- Duck Avian that had his wings clipped at a young age.

Scar- Vex hybrid that was raised by Sirens.

Impulse- Netherborn Demon

Pearl- Patron of Gilded Helianthia, Moth hybrid, there’s something going on with the moon there too. Memories of Evo were removed to protect her. - Chambers

[dodo-begone]

It's the Cat's Life for Me

Pairing: Ranboo x Reader, Tommy x Reader, Tubbo x Reader, Purpled x Reader

Request: Can I have your take on the yandere boys (purpled, ranboo, tommy, and tubbo) with a cat hybrid reader? Don't overwork yourself and remember self care! <3

Word count: 1.6k words

A/n: This all platonic, nothing romantic. Also oops i didn't make it yandere- misread it.

Ranboo

He’d definitely be excited to meet you, especially since you’re a hybrid. He’s an enderman hybrid and you are? Oh a cat hybrid! That’s really cool! You two should hang out a few times- it’ll be great.

When he realizes and puts the pieces together, he gets ultra excited. Most cats don’t like water, right? So does that mean you don’t like water or- oh you definitely don’t like water! Or water in that way. Maybe water period- you know what he shouldn’t and won’t try that again.

Now you two playfully threaten each other with water. You, at least, would have a squirt bottle at the reader for whenever the moment is right. Ranboo does the same. Think old wild west style shoot off. That’s what happens.

There has to be loads of cuddle sessions with purring. Specifically to calm one of you down. Or both of you. Doesn’t matter, works all the same.

I don’t care what Mojang said; endermen can and will be fluffy.>:( They have to be. So you just pet each other to help calm down. Either be pet or pet, that is the question. Honestly it’s a “whatever you think works best for you bud” thing.

So I already mentioned how you helped with his anxiety. But I want to go slightly more in depth with it. Anytime he seems like he’s panicking, and you get his permission, you just flop on him and purr up a storm. The combination of weight, sound, heat and feeling is very comforting to him. You’re like a living weighted blanket!

Also you totally nap on him during this time, making it impossible for him to stand up and do anything. Just designated chill time.

When this man enderwalks, it’s a whole cute show. Just an enderman hybrid, slightly hunched and walking around the server, muttering stuff in a different language. Then you got that cat hybrid that’s following him and occasionally rubbing against him. Especially if they think he’s about to get into trouble.

Sometime he’ll just pick you up and carry you around with him. It’s the equivalent of a child picking up the family cat and walking around with it. He isn’t properly holding you so you do that cat slinky thing where they just elongate like a slinky. You aren’t pleased but you can’t get out of his grasp.

Tommy

Okay kinda following the headcannon that Tommy has wings here. But when he finds out you’re a cat hybrid? Oh man this is so cool! What cat things can you do? Do you know? Want to find out? Want to commit science with him?

He will drop you from great heights and free fall with you. It’s a fun activity only the two of you can enjoy together.

Before you hit the ground, he’ll do his best to grab you and land. Other times aren’t that fortunate so you just land on the ground yourself. Mostly on your feet but there were a few times Tommy messed you your angle. He’ll always make sure you’re okay by the end.

Like any bird, he will love to annoy you. There is no safe place. Look away or don’t pay attention when he’s talking? Grab and gentle yoink the tail. Loves to just attack your tail when you’re relaxed or least expect it.

Once he realizes what effect catnip has on you, it’s game over. He can get you to do whatever he wants! After you play, rub, eat and sniff the catnip. And if he can get and keep your attention. Maybe this was a mistake…

Will absolutely get you cat toys. You don’t enjoy them, yet you do. It’s Tommy’s way of patronizing you but they’re also so fun. Man what a conundrum....

His favorite toy to get you is a laser pointer. Easy entertainment for everyone! Plus it’s his secret weapon. Admittedly his newest. It was something he should’ve realized ages ago. But now? Oh it’s his new best friend- besides you of course.

Losing an argument? Pull out the laser pointer? Wanting you to do something because he’s too lazy? Point that little red dot at a point where you pouncing on it gets his job done.

Play fighting is a very common occurrence between the two of you. Happens right out of the blue. You two could literally be chilling on a hill and then you two are wrestling aggressively on the ground.

Tommy also tries to spook you. Is it effective? Sometimes. Usually not. But when he’s able to get you to jump and just bolt away screaming? Man those are the best reactions! You jump so high too!

Tubbo

Aw man, here comes another fuzzy duo!! You two can easily chill out with each other. It’s incredible. You both calm down together. And just chit chat so much. Emotional support friend? Sure.

You’re so good with Micheal too. Micheal just wants to pet you so much. Big cat? But also human? Good friend? Cool friend? Soft and fuzzy friend!! You’re like a giant talking cat to him, for lack of a better description. You can do human stuff. You just got some animal features.

Another duo that will just cuddle. Bring in Ranboo and Micheal while you’re at it. Make it a family cuddle session!! The little group will see two people cuddling and go “I must join”.

I feel he has an area to grow plants in Snowchester. He just has to. So you know what that means? He’ll grow you stuff! Load of cat grass and some catnip along with other greenery that you like to much on. He makes sure they aren’t poisonous to cats- wait how much of that will apply to you? Do you know?

Okay so you two play fight, but much less aggressively than you and Tommy would. You two also include Micheal. Very gentle play fighting then. Like ultra.

You two fight with what your instincts are telling you. Mostly acting out on the funny animal behaviors that’ll make Micheal laugh or just to have fun with it.

He will get you so many soft things. Just so much. Soft blankets, fluffy pillows and so much else man. Especially trying to get the squishy and soft stuff so you can knead it. Honestly a very endearing sight. You purr so heavily doing it.

Now you two will do gentle headbutts of affection. Very gentle, mind you. You two are very wary of the horns that peak through Tubbo’s fluffy hair. Sometimes the two of you won’t gently butt heads, but butt your heads against other body parts like the upper arm or shoulder. To grab attention and show affection.

Purpled

Now this relationship is going to be mildly different from the get go. There won’t be an innate sense of “what’s right” or how hybrids function as a being/person. See, Purpled is a human. You are a cat hybrid. Two very different species. The backgrounds and some of the body language is different, but you two manage quite well.

So he’ll treat you differently than the other hybrids. Well, only a wee bit. He’lll treat you like the others but in a different way, with a different tone to his actions. It’s very sweet, but you tell him it’s not necessary. He still does it.

One of the cat-like things he found out was that you don’t like water. People usually like water and some cats like water, yet you’re like a majority of cats. You despise getting wet. Attempts at smacking anything that’s getting you wet was what clued him in on this. Specifically when he accidentally did it. Oops.

You two can’t swim together. Napping is really out of the question because he has work and sleeping doesn’t seem like the most interesting activity. Although relaxing, it isn’t too productive.

Activities are hard to come by; stuff you’d want to do with Purpled is stuff he definitely doesn’t want to do and vise versa. After a standstill on what to do, you two started to get creative with the ideas.

Building super tall buildings? Although not safe for Purpled, you can easily take the fall. Along with that, Purpled is more than happy to build tall things. You can’t tell me otherwise because this man built a whole ufo.

Sometimes he’ll even bring you on his mercenary missions. It’s a cool way to hang out and have some more one-on-one time and you two get to work together. A very pog situation.

He tries to give you a part of the money; 50-50 for you guys. But you deny. It was his job, you just came around. Although not too happy about it, because you two worked together on this, he’ll concede. After all, he can just slowly slip the money into your house.

On these trips you not only provide companionship but you also are more than ready to work. Maybe playing coy and cute for a patron at a bar to lure them out and away from the public eye to be executed by Purpled. Or it could be a simple distraction of someone running by. Maybe you’re able to pickpocket the target and get what’s needed. You’re a cute and fuzzy swiss army knife

He loves to get on higher surfaces than you and try to pick you up. Even if it’s only enough to just get your feet on the ground. You do the little cat extension thingy and he thinks that’s super cool and funny. So he’ll do it often. Though you try to object, claiming to not enjoy the process at all. Yet that smile and giggles say otherwise.

[sunflowerdaisybee]

Bee! I have a request:3

it kinda inspired by the ranboo and dad thing so I was thinking c!ranboo with enderman dad (platonic ofc)

ranboo and the dad got separated when ranboo was a baby and ever since then the dad has been searching for him then he and ranboo got reunited and they’re talking abt what they’ve been doing for the years then ranboo mentioned Michael then the dad is like “I have a grandchild?!?” And get really excited and wants to meet Michael, when he does he spoils Michael with treats and toys

Does this make sense?

Brb crying over how cute this is, anyways hope you enjoy /hj /pos

Summary: You reunite with your lost son

Pairing: P!Ranboo X Reader (he is your son)

Pronouns: He/him

[A/n]: Request are closed, please check back later :]

Trying to raise your half enderman son alone, in the End, was no easy task. While he retained a lot of the enderman features passed down from you, he was very visibly not a full enderbeing. You never minded though, his unique features often reminded you of how dearly you loved him. Your love for him was what got you in such trouble though.

Apparently, ‘mobs’ like you weren’t supposed to have feelings, or have children, yet you had both. The Gods didn’t like this, they claimed that you were disrupting the balance, that you would ruin everything if not stopped.

There was no ‘stopping’ you though, you weren’t out to harm anyone, you didn’t attempt to bring other creatures into your way of life, you were simply trying to raise your son in peace. So the Gods did the only thing they could, they took your only bit of happiness away, they took your son, sealing all entrances to the End behind them.

It had been years since that incident had occurred, but you never forgot. Every moment you could spare was spent on finding a way to escape and travel to the Overworld, to find your son.

“Oh my sweet, I’ll find you soon.” The photo was tattered, clearly from the many years of being carried around by you. There weren’t any means of preserving or framing the photo in the End, everything had been greatly limited after all the portals to the Overworld were closed.

“Ranboo my son, I promise to never stop till I find you.” It had taken many years of hard work but you had managed to reopen one of the forgotten portals. You knew that it would quickly be noticed by the Gods so you had to act fast, if you could get through the portal and up to the surface quickly enough you could blend in amongst the enderbeings left behind years ago.

It was a risky plan, one that had barely worked, but you had managed to pull it off, escaping with a second to spare.

“It’s getting dark, I’ll have to set up shelter for tonight and set out tomorrow. I forgot how queasy portal usage used to make me, the one thing I haven’t missed.” With the limited supplies, you were able to bring, you set up a small hideaway in a cave, using nearby sticks and rocks to spark a small campfire.

“When the sun rises so will I.” You spent the next few days following the same pattern, traveling as far as you could during the day and sleeping throughout the night. When you had the chance you would stop by villages, picking up foods and other items you needed. If you were lucky you would find folks who had seen or at least heard of your missing son.

It had taken you days, many long and tiring days of traveling, sleeping, and avoiding the Gods, but you had done it, you had found your boy. It was by pure luck that it occurred. You both happened to be at the same market at the same time.

“Excuse me, sir, I hate to be a bother but you haven’t happened to have seen my son have you? He’s got two different colored eyes, one red and one green, and he’s half black and half white.”

“Sounds an awful lot like that guy over there.” The blacksmith pointed just over your shoulder, where a tall man stood beside his shorter companions.

“Son?” There was no response, maybe he didn’t know you were speaking to him.

“Ranboo, dear?” The lanky boy froze in his spot, the young goat beside him turning around before he did.

“Uh, who are you?”

“Oh, Ranboo! How I’ve missed you.” Your son hesitated, almost as if he remembered you, but didn’t know why.

“How do you know his name?” The goatling had spoken more than you son, unsurprising as he seemed very protective over his taller friend.

“I’m his dad, I-here look.” You hastily reached into your bag, digging about for the one thing you needed more than ever. The photo was clearly old, the rips and creases in it telling true of its story.

You held the photo up for the two to see, afraid to turn it over to them in case it got damaged, it was your only copy.

“Dad? You’re my dad? You’re my dad! Oh, dad!” It had taken the boy a moment, all the forgotten memories flooding back, the mental dam breaking and releasing all for him to see. When he was sure of your identity he rushed forward, throwing himself into your arms, bringing you in for a much-needed hug.

“I thought I’d never see you again, I was so scared.”

“I know dear, but I never gave up. I knew I would find you again, and look at how you’ve grown!” You pulled back, looking at your son, he was nearly as tall as you.

“You’re almost as tall as me! You’re so thin though, have you been eating well?” You had bombarded the boy with questions about his health, trying to make up for as much time as possible in such a short span.

“Hey what the hell are you two doing! You were supposed to meet us at the fountain ten minutes ago!” A loud blond, carrying two children, approached the three of you, clearly distressed.

“Oh I apologize, I had gotten so caught up in talking with my dad that I forgot!”

“Well here, at least come get Michael, he’s been asking for you for over twenty minutes now.”

“Michael?”

“Oh uh dad, this is Michael, my son.”

“I’m a grandfather?” Ranboo nodded, holding Michael up to see you properly.

“Oh hello sweet boy, look at you! Oh, I can’t wait to spoil you! I can’t believe I’m a grandfather, oh this is just the greatest ever!”

Taglist: @minty-ghast @rokkyy @duddum-froppers @joyfullymulti @l0ver0fj0y @eatensouls-s

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under The Floorboards pt. IIII

(Technoblade X Reader): Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII, Pt. V

Whipping the sweat off your brow you placed the honey jars you collected on the ground, Phil really built this farm efficiently. However, that didn’t stop you needing to collect honey pots here and there, now that the vault was complete you could actually use the honey for normal things. Technoblade would never admit it but he loved when you put honey in his tea, contrary to popular belief he wasn’t a fan of plain black tea or coffee. You rolled up your sleeves and adjusted the sunhat that sat lazily on your head against your better judgment you had left your armor inside. The only thing on your person was a netherite ax Techno had enchanted for you, it was an effective weapon but without your armor, you were a bit of a sitting duck. As the bees buzzed and bumped lazily into each other, you couldn’t help but smile fondly at the sight. They were just so silly. You picked up the crate of jars and turned around, your eyes narrowed as you saw some movement by the trees, it was still too early for Tommy and Technoblade to be back...so just who was snooping around the property. You felt very naked in your sun hat and overalls, especially if it was Dream himself that you were about to encounter. Your worry only increased as you noticed four men all in netherite armor walking towards the house, their swords were drawn. You had a feeling that these were the men who took Technoblade the day prior. They were like a little gang all dressed the same way, bloody aprons and all they really had the executioner vibes down. 

    “Hello, gentlemen.” You smiled giving them a wave while you adjusted the box of honey, “beautiful day isn’t it?” 

The first to answer was a man who had a scar from the tip of his eyebrow down to the bottom of his lip. He sent you a smile and you noticed a tooth missing from the upper row, a navy blue beanie held his dark hair in place. 

    “Very beautiful, it’s always a good day when the sun is shining.” He mused the sun in question reflected beautifully across all their netherite armor. The one thing you decided to leave inside, you weren’t intimidated nope not at all. “What’s your name sweetheart?”

    “(Y/N).” You responded with a hum, “Is there something that I can help you all with today?” Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed two of the men moved to surround you, they thought they were slick. The only one who didn’t move was the tallest of the children there, he looked to be half Enderman. He also looked like he wanted to be anywhere but where he was right now poor thing. Drawing your gaze back to the other three men, you noticed one was Tommy’s age and had small horns atop his head, along with goat-like ears. A burn scar also took up half of his face. It made you frown distastefully, what was with these kids getting traumatized? First Tommy and now the half enderman and the goat kid, you couldn’t adopt all of them, well you could but it’d be a lot of work. The other looked to be part fox after all the big orange ears and the fluffy tail was dead give away, wait didn’t Ghostbur say his son was a fox. “Are you Fundy?” You asked, suddenly tilting your head to the side.

    “How do you know my name?” Fundy’s face flushed a little and he shuffled on his feet, his hand twitching to grab the sword that was at his side. 

    “I talked to your father earlier today. I’m assuming that’s how you found me?” You took the hat off your head and rested it on Carl’s stable. The fox gave a reluctant nod of confirmation you licked your lips and put your hands behind your back. “So? Do you have a problem with Technoblade or just me specifically?”

    “Wow, she’s not even a little bit ashamed.” Quackity mused and you frowned, “We’re here because your boyfriend blew up our country. He also disgraced our President right Tubbo? Don’t know if you’re aware of that or not but he escaped his punishment. So we intend to make him repent.” He walked towards you and you took a step away from him. 

    “That’s far enough thank you.” You held up your hand in hopes it would stop his trek towards you, Quackity did pause for a moment. He let out a chuckle and smiled. He thought your tough attitude was cute, but he was clearly mocking you. 

Jackass. 

    “Quackity maybe we should leave her be...she didn’t do anything.” The young goat kid murmured his ears flicking as he looked up at you. 

    “Quiet Tubbo. Let the adults speak,” Quackity snapped at him before clearing his throat and looking back at you. “Listen (Y/N) was it? We’re going to have to ask that you come with us. If you don’t we’ll have to take you by force.”

    “Wait, couldn't Technoblade have trained her?” The half enderman spoke holding up his finger in the air but no one seemed to pay him any attention. 

    “I guess force it is. Although the fight is a little unfair.” You took out your ax and twirled it in your hand, “Something tells me you don’t exactly like fair fights.” Fundy took a hesitant step backward not really wanting to lose a life for this of all things, but he pulled out his sword just in case. Clicking your tongue in distaste you sent a bloodthirsty smile their way, one that rivaled Technoblade, “Come at me.” 

Without hesitation, Quackity charged at you with his sword he didn’t aim to kill, just disarm or injure. You blocked the swing with the wooden part of your ax and spun around just in time to dodge an attack from Tubbo. You managed to elbow him in the back and he stumbled forward into Quackity, the man made a grunting sound before shoving Tubbo off of him and into the snow. Fundy moved next and managed to land a hit on the side of your arm, you hissed loudly glaring daggers at the fox. His ears pressed against his head and he let out a small whimper, “sorry!”

    “Don’t apologize to her!” Quackity groaned, “You guys are the worst gang ever.” He slapped his forehead as you readjusted your posture, “I have to do everything myself.” Quackity snarled charging at you again you sidestepped out of the way. As he stumbled trying to regain himself he knocked over the honey pots and they shattered against the ground. You swung your ax and managed to land a hit on him in the back of the legs, he let out a strangled yelp and fell on his face into the snow like Tubbo had done earlier. Yanking out the ax out of the leader of the gang blood splattered all over the ground and stained the snow. Little red beads dripped off the ax as you held it by your side, the man only let out another scream as it was torn out of him. 

    “Back. Off.” You repeated again baring your teeth with a hiss, “Turn around and go back to L’manburg and I won’t kill you. Got it.”  The ax was pointed at all of them, you saw the half enderman nod vigorously, 

    “Yes ma’am.” He nodded rapidly grabbing Tubbo and Fundy by the arm and pulled them back, the three of them watched as Quackity snarled and backed up to join them. You watched them cower and you dropped your ax on the ground so you could press the palm of your hand into the wound on your arm. You quickly turned and ran back into your home to collect bandages and fix yourself up, blood speckled the floor as you made your way into the bathroom. You tore off your overalls and shirt, washing out the wound before wrapping your arm in bandages. You didn’t know how long you stood there in front of the mirror but you looked worse for wear. 

Technoblade was going to lose his shit.

---

All Technoblade could think about on their way back to his retirement home, was you. He could only put up with Tommy for so many hours until he needed to talk to literally anyone else. He was ready to get your relaxing date night underway; he could already feel your fingers running through his hair braiding his as you went. He hummed fondly listening as the voices called him simp repeatedly, he didn’t mind this time considering he was when it came to you. 

    “That’s still cringe chat.” He murmured to himself as Tommy continued to scream about something in the background, “Yeah, yeah I love her.” He heard the chat flip their shit and he fondly chuckled, intermixed with their happy cries there was a distinct sound of ‘E’ as well as ‘nerd.’ He almost didn’t hear Tommy’s worried shouting. He frowned and rolled his eyes back into his skull, 

    “What Tommy?” 

    “Technoblade! Technoblade!” The teen bumped back into him, Technoblade grunted and looked down at him. He followed Tommy’s eyes and spotted the blood littered snow outside his house. Technoblade paused and his vision went red around the edges, his eyes stayed trained on the bloodstains as the voices began to roar within his skull. His head shot up and he saw the honey box spilled over on the ground, glass littered the snow, your hat hanging loosely on Carl’s old stable. 

     “T-Technoblade.” Tommy stuttered again looking up at the pig-man, seeing how glazed over his eyes looked. He swore steam was coming out of Technoblade’s nose and his hand drew out his pickaxe gripping it so tight his knuckles turned white. He felt his tusks grow in size and his face began to shift into his pig form. Tommy’s voice was drowned out by the flood that was the voices in his head: 

‘SHE’S GONE. THEY HAVE HER. KILL THEM ALL. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. WE DEMAND BLOOD. E. SAVE HER. YOU’RE A FAILURE. YOU DIDN’T PROTECT HER. SLAUGHTER ALL OF THEM. SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. SHE NEVER HURT ANYBODY. YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE. BLOOD. BLOOD. BLOOD. BLOOD.’ 

Technoblade took a step forward to which Tommy rapidly backed up in response. He’s never seen Techno this gone before, oh shit he has it bad for (Y/N). However, Tommy didn’t make a move to stop Technoblade; he didn’t want him to release that rage on him. Technoblade walked into the house, stepping on his glasses that fell off his face. He threw his door open with a loud slam, he needed potions and he needed a new sword. 

Whoever did this all their cannon lives were gone he’d make it long and torturous.

A soft voice broke him out of his stupor his entire body went rigid. 

    “Bubs…” He slowly turned around and came face to face with you, you looked so small, so delicate standing in the doorway. You were wearing your pajamas, soft blue with little sheep all over them. His ears twitched and his shoulders softened considerably seeing you standing safe in the doorway, however, he tensed again the minute he saw the bandages tied around your arm. Blood leaking through them, he growled eyes locking in on the spot as you made soft shushing sounds at him. 

‘SHE’S HURT. SHE’S ALIVE THOUGH. BUT SHE’S HURT, THEY NEED TO PAY. ATONE FOR WHAT THEY DID TO HER. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. SPILL THEIR BLOOD THEN MAKE OUT WITH HER. SHE’LL LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU DO. BLOOD. BLOOD. BLOOD.’

Technoblade jumped feeling her hand caress his cheek, “Bubs it’s alright I’m okay.” Your voice was smooth and soothing, his eyes dilated as you spoke to him. His face shifting back to normal as he breathed heavily through his nose, “See?” You brought his head down to rest against your chest, it looked uncomfortable the way that he was bending. However, he could feel your heart beating in your chest, he made a soft whimper and grabbed onto your shoulders his pink hair tickled your chin. You brought your hands up to run his fingers through his hair as he finally calmed down enough to ignore the voices for the time being. Right now they were just commenting on how nice and warm her hands were anyway.

    “What happened to you? There was blood everywhere I was so scared.” His voice broke a little bit as he pulled away from you. Your heart twisted painfully in your chest Technoblade had never looked so broken. 

    “The butcher squad came and attacked me. They wanted to use me to get to you but I fought them off just like you taught me.” You couldn’t help but smile proudly at him and he let out a disbelieving laugh. His hands moved from your shoulders to your back as he cradled you gently in his arms, you both stood there rocking back and forth together until Technoblade was satisfied. 

    “That’s my girl.” He finally murmured backing away from you, you flushed at the compliment. Whenever he called you that it made you flush all over, you let out a loud flustered whine and whacked him on the chest. Technoblade laughed at your flustered expression, it was a rare moment the tables were flipped like this and Technoblade was going to take full advantage of the situation. “Princess what’s with that look? Am I, thee Technoblade, making you flustered? I know I’m a lot to handle, I beat Dream once, I never die, I’m not homeless. Guess what?” 

    “What?” You couldn’t help but let out a giggle as he circles you eyeing you up and down. 

    “I’m single.” 

    “Oh really?” You cocked an eyebrow, “I thought you had a girlfriend.” You twirled your hair around your fingers and you felt his strong hands rest on your waist. 

    “Hm I don’t think so. You might need to refresh my memory,” Technoblade mused kissing your neck tenderly. 

    “Well she’s stunningly gorgeous, and tough as nails,” Your eyes fluttered closed as you leaned back against him. “She absolutely adores you and how protective you are of her, and how much of a gentle giant you are.” He made a noise of protest and rested his chin on the top of your head. You could tell he was pouting at you, 

    “See, not only is that super cringe but also factually incorrect. I am not a gentle giant, I just committed vast sums of minor terrorism and I also kill orphans so what would my girlfreind say to that huh?” He huffed clicking his tongue distastefully. 

    “She would say that you’re right but also she sees the way you take care of Carl, and how you put up with Tommy. You’re totally brothers. That makes you at least a little bit soft” 

    “Not brothers and I don’t like him.” 

    “Right sure,” You giggled a little and kissed his chin lightly. 

Technoblade let out an indignant sound before muttering, “Oh we should probably tell Tommy you aren’t kidnapped. Also discuss what to do about L’manburg now that they know you exist.” You blocked out that last part and made a beeline outside to find Tommy. The teenager in question was fumbling with his hands over by his cobblestone tower, you ran over to him and engulfed him in a hug. 

    “(Y/N)!” He shouted letting out a disbelieving laugh hugging you back with a childish smile. “You’re okay! Holy fuck I totally thought you were dead and shit! Technoblade was going fucking apeshit! His face went all pig like n’ shit totally thought he was gonna kill everyone for you! Not that I was worried.” He added quickly shoving you away crossing his arms. 

    “Of course you weren’t THE Tommy is never worried.” 

    “Yeah exactly Miss Blade you get me.” You smiled fondly at him and you ruffled his hair and he shouted at you to stop. You did so sensing Technoblade approach the both of you, Techno interlocked your hand with his own and squeezed it tightly. “You chill now Big T?” 

    “I’m always chill Tommy. Only nerds aren’t chill.” He mused with a scoff, “Hence why I always call you a nerd.” 

    “WHAT THE FUCK TECHNOBLADE! I AM ALWAYS CHILL! I’M THE CHILLEST MAN ALIVE I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW!” 

    “Stop shouting,” Technoblade groaned burying his face in your hair as you laughed fondly at their antics. Although L’manburg knew about your existence now, and although you knew Dream probably wasn’t too far behind in learning that knowledge either, you felt everything was going to be okay. 

All you needed was each other, Technoblde, Tommy, Phil and you. Together you four were gonna do great things, you just knew it.

~~~

I do plan on making another part because people seem to be enjoying this story a lot more than I originally thought when I first posted it. Which is amazing thank you for all the love and support! New stuff is also in the works, thanks again for reading and enjoying! Stay safe guys! 🥰✨

[hangezoeenthusiast]

You failed me

multiple x gn!reader

word count: 2,524

warnings: cursing, yelling, arguing, death, angst, blood, explosion, the egg (it deserves its own warning)

synopis: you guys failed me(us)

(the lyrics go with each person, might not get everyone, and also xd’s part is kinda wonky)

song: rät by penelope scott

I come from scientists and atheists and white men who kill God They make technology, high quality, complex physiological Experiments and sacrilege in the name of public good They taught me everything, just like a daddy should

Quackity, Karl, George, and Sapnap left you. Your mentors, your friends. The ones who taught you everything you knew. They went to build their little “Kinoko Kingdom” while you stayed in the ruins, the dust. “They’ll regret that.” you swore. You built something better, something greater.

It was called “Las Nevadas”. A place where everyone was allowed. They would remember not to fuck with you. They would soon realize that they should watch their back for the rest of their short, stupid lives.

“Watch out, you guys, I'm watching your every move.”

And you were beautiful and vulnerable and power and success God damn, I fell for you, your flamethrowers, your tunnels, and your tech I studied code because I wanted to do something great like you And the real tragеdy is half of it was true

Wilbur majorly fucked up. He was supposed to be with you to the end, your guys’ country, right? No. He left you behind. He went to find peace, find his heaven, while you stayed on earth, wallowing away until your flesh seeped off your rattling bones, rotting away by yourself, with no one to bare witness.

“Why didn’t you bring me with you Wilbur?” you asked his stupid grave on top of the once L’Manburg. “Why did you get the ecstasy, why do I get the remains?”

“I’m coming for you Wilbur, and when I do, we are going to wreck upon justice on everyone who wronged us, wronged you, they will feel our wrath.”

But we've been fuckin' mеan, we're elitist, we're as flawed as any church And this faux-rad West coast dogma has a higher fuckin' net worth I bit the apple 'cause I trusted you, it tastes like Thomas Malthus Your proposal is immodest and insane And I hope someday Selmers rides her fuckin' train

"Y/n!" Technoblade yelled. "I TRUSTED YOU, AND YOU BETRAYED ME, FOR WHAT, TO BLOW UP A STUPID COUNTRY, A COUNTRY THAT WAS DOOMED TO FAIL FROM THE START." He started to battle you, missing every single swing, blinded by fury.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE.”

"LOOK AT ME GODDAMN IT."

You looked up at him in the eyes and boldly said, "No, Techno, don’t you see, you’re in the wrong here, you’re the one who betrayed me." You were blinded by friendship, you couldn’t see that Tommy had betrayed Techno, and that what the Butcher Army did to Techno was terrible.

"What do you mean Y/n, you know what they did, they wronged me, they used me, they tortured me, they gave me hell, so I gave it back to them, I destroyed the things they loved, the people they loved, you see Y/n, those who have treated me with kindness I will repay that kindness tenfold, and those who treat me with injustice, that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends, I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over, do you understand?"

"No I don't, Techno, you can't do this.” you begged. He pushed you out of the way, "Get out of my way Y/n." “No, I won’t, I won’t let you destroy everything we worked for.”

“Well, then I have to fight you.”

And thus the battle began, Swords clashing against each other, blood spilling from open wounds, friends digging each other into a whole both of them couldn’t get out of. Techno was letting you off easy, he knew his strength, he knew that he could’ve beaten you in one swipe, but he didn’t want to kill you.

So when you had the opportunity, you swept from under his feet, and knocked him down. You placed your blade onto his neck, pressing down until a little drop of blood appeared, “Stay down Technoblade, or I’ll do something worse than try to put you on trial.”

He watched as you walked away from him, trying to save L’Manberg from a worst fate than death itself.

“One day Y/n, you’ll see, I’m on your side.”

I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, it's true I wanted to be you and do what you do I lived here, I loved here, I bought it, it's true I feel so stupid, and so used I feel so used

"Why would you do that Dream? You didn't have to do that." you interrogated. Dream had stupidly blew up the community house. You both didn't plan that, he had gone behind your back. "I had to Y/n, you wouldn't understand."

"What do you mean I don't understand, you went against my back, we were supposed to-" you cut off yourself, "Dream, don't you understand, you did something stupid, and what did you get, you got stupid jail." "The reason I did that is because I needed to isolate myself from humanity." he said, proudness lacing his words.

"What do you mean?" you questioned. "If anyone knows I can revive people, I'm screwed, so that's why I need to be by myself, yeah it sucks major ass, but at least no one else will know, well, besides you anyways." "I have a task for you Y/n/n, I need you to find a way to bring Tommy and Ghostbur in here."

"Why Dream?"

"I'm going to revive Wilbur."

I was your baby, your firstborn, the hot girl in your comp-sci class And I was Darwin's prep school dream, bred, born and raised to kick your ass I fell for circuit boards, rocket ships, pictures of the stars If you could only be what you pretend you are

"PHILZA MINECRAFT COME BACK HERE." you were chasing Phil, through the woody forest, covered by oak trees. He had information on Technoblade's whereabouts and you needed it. You chased him with your enchanted netherite armor, netherite sword and axe, and a few op potions. Your goal was to capture Philza and interrogate him on where Techno's place was. The thing was, you were his child. His own child trying to kill his own son.

He felt betrayed, his own child turned against him and their brother, their family. "The Butcher Army must've gotten to you somehow." he thought in his head. Surely, his darling Y/n didn't do it on their own will, right?

He was incorrect, you did it because you believed that Techno needed to be brought to justice, by punishment. You believed that your own sibling needed to die, because he was a "liability" to L'Manberg's growth and future. He needed to die because as long as he would live his long life with his little enderman Edward, retired, he would still cause trouble to everything you, Quackity, Tubbo, Fundy, and Ranboo had built.

He pleaded, "Stop Y/n, you don't have to do this." You argued, "I do Philza, as long as he lives, my plans for L'Manberg will forever cease to exist."

He felt like shit, you called him Philza, not Dadza, or Dad, or anything besides his normal name. "Did I screw something up?" he asked himself quietly under his breath. "Yes you did Phil, you took the traitor's side." you had heard Phil mumble.

"HE'S NOT A TRAITOR." Phil yelled at you. "Yes he is, he deserves what he is about to get, I will say it again, where is his base?"

"I'm not saying, Y/n, why are you doing this, Techno is your own sibling." "He's not my sibling anymore, that stopped when he destroyed L'Manberg, you're lucky I forgived you." you declared.

"Y/n/n, please don't do this."

"I have to Dadza, I can't let him roam free."

When I said take me to the moon, I never meant take me alone I thought if mankind toured the sky, it meant that all of us could go But I don't want to see the stars if they're just one more piece of land For us to colonize, for us to turn to sand

Bad had tried to convice you to join the Eggpire. You had no effect while being next to the egg, and he had to take you out. People who had no effect towards the egg had to be eliminated.

He was creepily following you, waiting until you stopped to get a chance to capture you. He had hope that you did have an effect, that you would join the Egg with him. He didn't want to kill you, you were his best friend, besides Skeppy of course.

"Come back here Y/n." he said. "No chance in hell Bad, get the fuck away from me." "HEY, LANGUAGE!" he exclaimed. "No language, get away from me, you're creeping me out."

He threw his trident, spinning in the air, trying to catch up to your frantic steps. You were trying to get to Church Prime, where no one could kill anyone, hopefully Bad would abide to that rule. You were just about to step on Church Prime when you bumped into a hard, armored chest.

You looked up shyly, and saw Punz, with his red eyes reflecting anger. "Where are you going Y/n?" he questioned. "Somewhere." you blankly stated. You were desperate, you didn't want to die, or anything else that Bad was going to do to you. You tried to dodge Punz, but he placed a hand on your shoulder, "Stay right here Y/n."

"No, get away from me, I don't know what's wrong with all of you, but go away, I don't want anything to do with your stupid Eggpire." He raged, and grabbed your wrist heavily, "DON'T TALK ABOUT THE EGG LIKE THAT, IT WILL TAKE CONTROL OF THE SERVER, AND YOU ALL WILL BE ITS SERVANTS." "LET ME THE FUCK GO PUNZ." you screamed. You were wiggling in his grip, trying to escape his lunatic self.

While he was holding you, you saw two other shadows behind you. It was Antfrost and Bad. "What do you guys want from me, I didn't do anything wrong."

"You are against the Egg Y/n, people who are like you and Tommy have to die."

"Well, I'm not dying today." you murmured under your breath. "What was that you said?" Antfrost asked you.

You smirked, "I'm not dying today, I'll tell you one more time, let go of me."

Bad and Antfrost walked closer to you, Punz right behind you, all of them cornering you into a tight spot. "What you going to do about it Y/n, you're cornered."

"You'll know when they get here, but for now, you better run boys."

'Cause we're so fuckin' mean, we're so elitist, we're as fucked as any church And this bullshit West coast dogma has a higher fuckin' net worth I bit the apple 'cause I loved you, and why would you lie? And then I realized that you're just as naïve as I am Oh, you're so traumatized it makes me want to cry

"Tubbo, don't do this." Schlatt had unfortunately found out that you were a spy, that you were on Pogtopia's side. He had ordered Tubbo to kill you with fireworks, to light you on fire, give you blisters all over your body. "Please Tubbs, you're my friend." you pleaded.

"I can't Y/n/n, or something worse will happen." he whispered to you. "What do you mean?" you asked. "He can-" he trailed off, looking somewhere else besides your eyes. "Tubbo, you don't have to do what that stupid bastard tells you to do, you're your own person, with your own thoughts and actions."

"I'm sorry Y/n, I hope you can forgive me."

"TUBBO N-" you was cut off by firewords hitting your skin, making blisters and burn marks all over your body. You lost your second canon life, feeling betrayed by Tubbo. He killed you for what, a stupid father who never cared about him in his entire life, a father who exiled his friends that actually treated him like a person, and not like some random piece of trash.

You respawned in your bed, feeling bruises and bumps mostly on your forearms and your back.

"I'll help you Tubbo, I’ll get rid of him.”

You dumb bitch I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, it's true I wanted to be you and do what you do I lived here, I loved here, I bought it, it's true I'm so embarrassed, I feel abused

“Come on Y/n/n, come with me.” Punz begged of you. He wanted you to visit the Egg. You didn’t want to be controlled by a stupid omelette. "I'm not Punzo, why are you so obsessed with that stupid thing."

"DON'T SPEAK OF THE EGG LIKE THAT."

You put your hands in front of you, accidentally touching Punz's chest, "Ok calm down buddy." He didn't calm down and instead yelled at you on why you had to join the Eggpire.

"If you join, you will be forever happy."

"If you join you'll get whatever you want."

You were tired of the members of the Eggpire to convince you to join them, you didn't like eggs anyway. "Punz, for the last time, I'm not joining you, stop telling me."

“Then you have to die.”

So fuck your tunnels, fuck your cars, fuck your rockets, fuck your cars again You promised you'd be Tesla, but you're just another Edison 'Cause Tesla broke a patent, all you ever broke were hearts I can't believe you tore humanity apart

“XD!” You were pissed at him, he had destroyed your house, made your friends pissed at you, just everything you liked. All because he wanted you for himself.

He wanted you to be dependent on his every word, and he was being a manipulative psychopath. And you didn’t tolerate that, it was like he was his human counterpart, Dream.

He walked to you with confidence, waiting for to get a hug from you, well, he didn’t get that. You slapped him so hard his head swung to the left.

“WHAT THE FUCK.”

“That’s what you get you stupid son of a bitch. You fucking ruined everything.” “Calm down Y/n/n, what is wrong?” He acted concerned, but you knew that he was faking. He would do anything to get someone’s approval.

“DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT’S WRONG, IT’S YOU, YOUR STUPID PRESENCE IN MY LIFE. YOU KEEP ON WALKING AROUND LIKE YOU FUCKING OWN THE PLACE.”

“Calm down darling, just take some netheri-” you interrupted him by slapping the ore out of his hands. “I don’t need jack shit from you XD, you know what, take back the necklace, I don’t want it.” You pulled the shiny, green emerald necklace off your neck, and pulled XD’s palm out.

You placed the necklace filled with memories, and put it on his hand. You closed up his palm, and walked away, leaving XD to his own accord.

“We could’ve had evertything X.”

[averytiredfanfictionwriter]

Sic Semper Tyrannis

A syndicate x Platonic! Reader/ Technoblade x Reader

Warnings: murder, kidnapping, blood, a somewhat graphic depiction of getting stitches

Word count: about 2800

Ao3 Link: wow.

I’m excited to share this. I did write a version with an angsty ending, which is up on my Ao3 account here if you want to read that one as well. Fair warning though, while writing it I found myself dying inside so I don’t know how you guys would feel. It was the original way I wanted to take the story but as I was writing I also created this one which is an alternate, fluffier ending. Reader is a raccoon hybrid in this one. Don’t forget to like and follow for more. Enjoy!

It almost seems to be a mistake, Techno thinks. The woman- no girl- standing in front of him never struck him as the anarchist type. She was always too soft, too nice for any of it. Yet here she stands next to Philza, shivering from the chill of the cave and rubbing her bare arms. 

“This is the new recruit I was telling you about.” The winged man smiles at Techno.

“She seems… soft.” He mutters, taking in her shivering form before handing her a cloak.

She only nods, accepting the cloak gratefully and clipping it around her neck with ease before burrowing into the thick material. 

“Trust me. You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew her how I do.” Phil mutters, rubbing at his shoulder.

“Fine. But do you swear to uphold the values of the syndicate? Do you promise that you’ll help in our mission to destroy the corrupted governments that threaten the freedoms of its citizens?” Techno stands over her, red eyes practically glowing.

She nods hastily under his seven foot tall frame and he seems satisfied as he backs away. “Okay then. Come take a seat. We have a lot to talk about today.” 

Techno makes his way up the stairs to the table behind him, taking a seat facing the entranceway. Y/n looks up at Philza and he only shakes his head. 

“Don’t worry about him. He seems scary but he won’t hurt you. In fact, that’s the nicest he’s been to someone that’s tried to join yet.” Philza says before walking towards the table.

“Wait- what do you mean ‘tried to join’? Phil, what happened to them?” Y/n says in a panic.

“We don’t talk about them.” Ranboo chimes in. “Now, come on. Don’t want to be late to your first meeting.” 

Y/n scurries up to a chair at the table, taking the one across from Phil and next to Ranboo. She sits furthest from Niki and Techno who both seem to be scrutinizing her every move.

“Now, let’s get this meeting started. First things first, we have a new recruit. This is Y/n. You all know her, but she’s going to be joining us. You’ll need a codename.” Techno states, and Y/n thinks a moment as they stare at her.

“Dolos. I’ll go with Dolos.” Techno nods, eyes flashing with an unknown emotion before returning to their usual blankness.

“Okay. Now that that’s over with, is there anything in particular you guys wanted to discuss? Any new information or governments?” 

Phil nods, standing as he stands from the chair and speaks to the group. Y/n zones out a little for the rest of the meeting, nodding along but not really listening. Soon, it’s time to go and they’re all standing, the sound of chairs scraping on the floor loudly and Ranboo’s laughter at something Niki said echoes through the small space.

“Y/n, can I speak to you alone.” It’s not a question, and the woman swallows thickly as she follows the piglin hybrid into a small room that connects to the main one.

“So why Dolos? I mean, of everything you could’ve chosen, why’d you choose Dolos?” He asks, standing against the door to the room, blocking her in.

“Ah, well- you see, I’ve been told I’m good at deceiving people and that I’m so good at it, no one ever knows until I tell them, and even then they don’t believe me. I think that it’s a good codename, that’s all.” She stutters out, and Techno’s eyes narrow.

“I’m not easily fooled. If you’re lying, or you’re here as a spy, I’ll figure it out. And then not even Phil will be able to save you. Do you understand me?” He grunts out, standing over her with his sword held in his hand.

She nods and all but teleports out of the room to get away as quick as possible. He looks after her, seeing the disappointed look on Phil’s face outside and the confused glances from Niki and Ranboo. He steps out of the room as well and leaves the meeting hall without another word. 

It’s a week before anyone hears directly from Y/n again, and when they do it’s not for reason they would have ever expected. 

“I need your help.” Techno takes in the sight of the blood soaked clothing that covers the young woman.

“What happened?” He’s bewildered, the first time he’s been surprised in a long time.

“It’s not my blood. Most of it’s from the people we were fighting, but some of it’s his.” She points behind her where Phil stands, holding up a severely injured Tommy.

“Come on.” Techno grunts, ears twitching. The voices chime in, but he pushes them aside. 

“Set him on the couch.” Phil lays him down gently and gets to work brewing potions for the young boy. 

Y/n sits next to him, clutching his hand tightly with one of hers as she continues putting pressure on the gaping wound in his stomach. Her striped tail swishes nervously on the floor behind her and the large black ears lay back against her head.

“Get his shirt off. I need to sew it up.” Techno has his sleeves rolled up to the elbow as he comes over with a small first aid kit.

Y/n uses her sharp nails to cut away the stomach section of Tommy’s shirt, revealing the ugly looking gash. She pales at the sight of it, getting up and running to the bathroom to most likely vomit. Techno only sighs as he gets to work, wiping off the dried blood around the wound and starting to stitch it up. Tommy shifts uncomfortably on the couch, crying out at the needle threading in and out of his skin. 

Once done, Phil shoves the healing potion in Tommy’s face, which he drinks and then promptly passes out. Y/n comes back from the bathroom, hair tied back from her face.

“What happened?” Techno asks, standing in front of her.

“We were running through the woods, having fun- y’know, kid things- when we came across a small group of people. They started to attack us, and we started to fight back, thinking there weren’t anymore of them. Well, we were wrong. Very wrong. We wouldn’t have escaped if it wasn’t for Phil. Before we got away though, they said something like ‘down with the order’. I don’t know what they meant though. It was hard to understand them through their masks.” Y/n spews out and Techno only stares at her.

“‘Down with the order’? That sounds like they know something. What did they look like? Any distinct markings for kingdoms or anything?” Techno says softly.

She shakes her head. “Nothing that I could see, unless I missed it. I could probably lead you back to the place we fought at. I don’t know if more came to collect the bodies or not.” 

“Take me there. But first, go get cleaned up. We don’t need you walking around drenched in blood.” Techno says, nodding to the bathroom. 

One shower and change of clothes later, the pair are on their way to where Y/n and Tommy were attacked. Techno notices her fidgeting more than usual, constantly looking around them and watching as she jumps at the smallest of noises. He chalks it up to having been just attacked and they continue walking.

She stops in a clearing and he stands beside her. No sign of bloodied bodies is anywhere to be found. In fact, there’s no evidence a fight even occurred here. No blood spots on the ground, no scrapes in the ground, no disturbance of wildlife.

“Are you sure this is the place?” He turns to look at her, but she’s gone. Suddenly, something hits him from behind and the last thing he sees is Y/n, crying softly as someone holds onto her.

Techno slowly opens his eyes, registering the cold metal against his wrists and multitude of people surrounding him. The voices scream out in rage- rage at Y/n for getting them captured, rage at himself for allowing this to happen, anger for not trying to stop him and Y/n from being captured. They’re angry at a lot of things, and he grunts as he feels a headache coming on.

Y/n stirs in the chair across from him, whimpering softly and her tail waves behind her slowly. “Where-”

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you need to tell us who the rest of the members of your little club is, or else you both die. Tell us, and you live. It’s that simple.” A voice speaks out, a young man with brown hair and light eyes.

He rests a sword on Y/n’s shoulder and looks Techno in the eyes. He says nothing, glaring at the man instead.

“Are you going to tell me? If not, then I guess I’ll need to encourage you to do so.” The young man sighs, and takes out a knife, grabs hold of Y/n’s tail and presses the knife against the base of it.

Y/n screams loudly, and Techno hates the sound of it more than any other sound he’s heard. The voices seem to hate it as well, yelling at him to just tell the man the names of the other members to end it.

“Fine.” Techno gives in. 

The young man smiles, dropping Y/n’s tail and wiping the knife off on her shirt. “Oh good! That’s very good.” 

“Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. My life’s not worth it.” Y/n mumbles, tears falling down her face as she clenches onto the armrests of the chair tightly.

“You might know one of them. His name is Zephyrus. Has black wings, wears lots of green. Another one is named Lethe. He’s half enderman. Good luck catching him though. The last one is Nemesis. You might never find her though. She spends most of her time underground.” Techno states and Y/n almost laughs at the use of the codenames.

“You’re lying.”

The young man holds the knife to Y/n’s throat and presses gently, causing a small trickle of blood to run down her neck. “You have one more chance to tell me their names before I kill her and then you. I’ll give you to the count of ten. Ten…” Techno growls at the man before him, the sight of his knife pressed against the woman's throat more than angering.

“I told you. Those are their names. It’s not my fault if you don’t believe me. Now let her go. I don’t even like her. Killing her wouldn’t get me to reveal anything.” Techno says calmly.

The man considers this, pausing his counting. “You’re still lying. I saw you help her and her friend, the blonde. I’m surprised the cut didn’t kill him, to be honest. I think I’ll have to go back to your cabin when I’m done here and finish the job.” 

Steam is basically pouring out of Techno’s ears and his eyes glow a bright red. “Don’t fucking touch him.” 

“Yes! I will, unless you tell me the real names of the other members of your little club.” He releases Y/n’s head from his grip, and pulls his knife away from her neck. 

“Phil, Niki, and Ranboo. Those are their names. Now let her go.” Techno growls and Y/n shakes her head.

“He’s lying. Those aren’t their names. There’s not even more than one other member of the group. The third member of the group is named Dream. He’s currently in prison for killing several people and blowing up a country not once, but twice as well as manipulating kids. He’s the only other member of the group.” Y/n says, hoping that they don’t know she’s lying and buy her bluff. 

The god currently sits in prison, waiting out his days monotonously. They would definitely all die the minute they try and kill him- if they even do get to him, considering Sam would kill them the minute they step foot in the prison.

“Finally, someone here is telling the truth. You’re going to give me the exact coordinates of where the prison is, and then you two are going to stay here while we go kill him.” Y/n gives him the coordinates and the man is almost bouncing in joy. “For your sake, we better not be walking into a trap. Let’s go boys.” They leave the room and Y/n sighs, her head hanging forward heavily, as if her neck can’t hold itself up anymore.

“What was that?” Techno asks and she shrugs.

“I told you. People don’t believe I’m capable of lying to them. They’re all going to die trying to get to Dream, or he’s going to kill them himself.” Y/n yawns.

“Yeah, and we need to get out of here in case some of them survive.” Techno says, struggling against the restraints holding him to the chair and eventually manages to break them.

“Alright, let’s get you out of here.” Techno mumbles, picking the lock on Y/n’s restraints and lifting her up easily in his arms.

The maze of hallways is nearly impossible to escape, but they do it somehow and step outside to a snowy tundra. The wind blows frozen ice shards through the air and it bites at their skin. They were stripped of gear and their cloaks. The cold is no match for Techno, who produces enough body heat to stay warm enough, but Y/n shivers in his arms and presses her face against his chest in an effort to keep warm.

Techno’s communicator beeps as it regains signal, and he works it out of his pocket, seeing the messages from Phil and quickly shoots one back with their coordinates and a request for blankets.

Looking around, the only shelter Techno can find until Phil arrives is the building they came out of but that’s not an option in case the people come back. Techno settles for sitting on the ground and hugging the woman to his chest, doing his best to protect her from the wind and cold. 

“Oh my god…” Phil says as he lands in front of the pair, quickly grabbing Y/n and wrapping the cloak around her.

“Take her back to my cabin. She needs to get warmed up and is going to probably need stitches in her tail.” Phil nods, passing his sword to Techno.

“Will you be fine walking back? I can zip right back here to get you. Tommy’s healed and can look after Y/n while I do so.” 

Techno shakes his head. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. After all, you need to check on Ranboo and Niki. Make sure they’re okay. We’re not extremely far from the cabin, I’ll make it back before the end of the night. Now go already.” Techno says and Phil nods, taking off quickly with Y/n.

He looks back at the building they were in, and heads back inside. If there’s anyone left here, they’ll pay for what happened.

It’s a few days before Techno comes back and Philza spends the time either worrying over it or about the worsening condition of Y/n, who seems to have developed a bad cold or flu or hypothermia or all of it, really, as well as making sure Tommy doesn’t rip his stitches trying to do stupid stuff. When Techno does come back, he’s covered in blood and doesn’t even stop to talk to the members of the syndicate sitting in the living room or even wash up, instead going straight for the room where Y/n is sleeping and peeking in.

“She’s not doing well at all. I stitched her tail up, but she’s developed a fever and is still freezing cold all the time and isn’t getting any better, even with a ton of healing potions. I don’t know if she’s going to make it.” Phil mutters beside Techno and he only nods.

He steps out of the doorway and leaves to take a shower, taking extra care to scrub the blood out of his hair and changes into comfortable clothes. Peeking into Y/n’s room again, he sees her shivering underneath the blankets. Well no wonder she’s sick, she’s still freezing cold, he thinks to himself before opening the door further and stepping into the room. He climbs under the covers and Y/n instantly curls up to him, soaking in his natural warmth.

“Thank you, for getting me out of there.” She mutters, before falling back asleep.

“Anything for you.” He whispers, holding her tighter against him in an almost protective manner. 

Phil watches from the doorway, smiling as he watches Techno fall asleep curled up with her.

Tagged: 

@thegeekisheere

[cuuno-moved]

FROM THE DIARY OF KARL JACOBS:

Your name is Karl Jacobs.

That is very important. You cannot forget that.

You have two husbands, named Alex and Sapnap Jacobs.

Alex goes by Quackity, or Q, sometimes. He calls you mi amor (my love) and mi vida (my life). You call him darling and sunshine. He’s the smaller one, with the messy dark hair and brown skin. He wears a hat all the time, and has an eyepatch.

Sapnap calls you froggy, and sugar. You call him panda and cupcake. He’s the big one, with the shoulder length hair (usually in a man-bun), earrings and eyebrow slit. He looks a little bit mean, but he’s the sweetest guy on earth.

You live in a big house, with a red door.

If Sapnap brings home a cat, let him keep it.

If either finds a spider, you’ll have to kill it.

DO NOT TOUCH QUACKITY WITHOUT WARNING ESPECIALLY ON THE HIPS OR SHOULDERS.

Remember to water the plants.

You wash the dishes on Fridays.

If Quackity has a panic attack, sit beside him, hug him, and rub his back.

If Sapnap has a panic attack, move away, sit with your back to the opposite wall and talk to him.

If you have a panic attack, don’t let them know, press your hands to your chest and count the breaths. Sometimes it helps to list things you can see in your head.

The code to the security system is 1144.

You sleep in the middle, with Alex on the left and Sapnap on the right. If Sapnap snores, try to roll him on his back. If Quackity starts sleep talking, record it to laugh about later.

You always wear bright colors. Do not try to wear black or grey, they will get worried. Do not wear white, they will be confused.

If you have a headache, you’re probably having caffeine withdrawal, get a Monster energy from the fridge. You like the white ones most.

Take your meds. You have two, one for adhd and one for anxiety. Take one of each in the morning. Sapnap has meds too, remind him to take them.

Quackity puts cheese in his hot chocolate. Feel free to call it gross, because it is.

If he calls you ‘honey buns’, respond with ‘baby birdie’.

If Sapnap makes jokes about being stupid, tell him to stop. He’s really really smart.

The popcorn is in the cabinet with the seasonings.

Sapnap smokes. Don’t let him know that you know.

Ranboo comes over sometimes, let him have your usual chair. He likes to listen, do not try to pull him into the conversation.

Sapnap’s kale salad is really bad, don’t eat it.

THINGS NOT TO MENTION OR SAY:

Do not call Quackity sweetcheeks. Do not comment on his appearance, especially his ass. Do not yell. Do not drink, or talk about drinking. Do not bring up Schlatt. Do not try to quiet him when he’s excited about something. Do not talk about hearts, or cannibalism, or raw meat.

Don’t say “Come here” to Sapnap. Do not talk about Dream. Do not try to corner him. Do not go near ravines. Do not sing that stupid doo doo doo song that Dream listens to. Do not say “Oh come on” or try and get him to do things he doesn’t want to.

DO NOT LET THEM FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR MEMORY.

DO NOT LET THEM FIND THIS JOURNAL.

Other people: Callahan is the man with antlers. Alyssa is the girl with brown hair. Punz is the one with long white hair and white sweatshirt, their little brother Purpled wears a purple hoodie. Eret is the tall man in the crown with the blank eyes. Ponk is the short South African man with the black sweatshirt. Bad is the demon with the vines growing out of his skin. Ant is the cat. Sam is the green one, with the deep voice and solid black eyes. Vikk and Lazar don’t show up much, but Vikk is the British one, Lazar is the Australian. Connor is the one in the blue hoodie. Techno is the pig (DO NOT TALK TO HIM HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU). Phil is his coworker, the one with the green robes. Tubbo is the thin boy with all the scars. Jack is the one with the missing arm and broken glasses. Foolish is the Totem, he likes you. Charlie is the one with glasses and bad puns. George is the one with white rimmed sunglasses who hangs out with Sapnap a lot. Puffy is the short man with curly hair. Hannah is the one with flowers that grow out of her skin. Ranboo is the half enderman in the suit. Skeppy is the ruby. Niki is the girl with pink hair. Fundy is the fox. HBomb is the one in the flannel, he’s nice. Ghostbur is the ghost. Tommy is dead, do not talk about him.

If Callahan is staring at you, wave and smile. I don’t think he knows. Does he?

For the love of god, do not talk to Corpse. He is really observant, he will notice if you fuck up. IF he corners you, keep a straight face, excuse yourself. DON’T CALL HIM CATBOY. Calling him Crops is okay, he’ll think it’s a dumb nickname.

Fundy doesn’t like it when you bring up the grey in his hair. He’s 18, I don’t know where it came from, but it’s there.

Punz uses they/them, Eret uses all, Ranboo uses he/they/it, Puffy uses she/her

Ranboo is not Charles, or John, or the Butler. Do not make that mistake again. He has paranoia, it will send him into a spiral.

Foolish gets really excited about building. Let him talk. He doesn’t get the chance otherwise.

George is narcoleptic, Quackity makes jokes about it.

Ghostbur and Ranboo also have memory issues, do not bring that up, they will be suspicious. No, Ranboo will be suspicious, I don’t think Ghostbur will remember.

If Punz flirts with you, they’re probably trying to get under Sapnap’s skin. Flirt back if you want, but not too much. Sapnap gets jealous easily, do not be an asshole. Punz doesn’t actually like you romantically, and you obviously don’t actually like them.

If Purpled asks to borrow your stuff, say no, he’s not going to give it back.

Ponk sings sometimes, out of nowhere. Let him. Sing along, maybe, if you can.

Quackity flirts with Bad a lot.

Sapnap flirts with George a lot.

Quackity has wings, he might need help with preening. Just gently run your fingers through the feathers, try to get out any sort of debri or anything.

If your chest starts hurting, stretch your arms up, and out. You are either having a panic attack or you’ve been hunched over for too long.

If you see Puffy rubbing her chest, she needs to take off her binder. Remind her to do that, she will not remember otherwise.

If Tubbo makes you another bracelet, put it on the right, the left arm is for Foolish’ bracelets.

Keep your mind clear, and calm. Smile often, and laugh at Q’s jokes, even if they’re not funny. Try to act normal.

The timeline depends on it.

-KJ

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (July 25/2021) - The Wilburger Ranvan

Wilbur comes up with his new calling: selling burgers in a burger van! At Phil’s suggestion, Wilbur teams up with Ranboo to do so, setting up their new business on the outskirts of Las Nevadas.

A brief summary of the week’s total events can be found at the end of the post.

---

VOD LINKS:

Wilbur Soot

Captain Puffy

BadBoyHalo

---

- Wilbur and Phil hang out in the Arctic. Wilbur has a proposition for Phil

- He says he met up with Quackity and it was a nice time. The one conclusion he came to is that Quackity is very resourceful

Wilbur: “As much as I may disagree with your views on anarchy, I must say, it’s pretty harmless. I -- I can’t hate you for it. I can’t hate you for enjoying literally living in a peaceful little village in the snow, I mean the server’s never been this peaceful since -- since all the countries and nations and cities and everything is gone. So Phil, I came to you with one question, one question...do you think Quackity should be allowed to be left unchecked?”

- Phil says no. The issue is, there’s no government, no police force. What Techno’s done is left a power vacuum and now Quackity’s come in with an unethical establishment, gambling...

- Wilbur wants to make a burger van

- They get interrupted by an Enderman ascending from the basement

- He knows there’s a bit of déjà vu, but the difference is that the burger van isn’t going to sell drugs this time. He wants every steak to have a name

- He’s done with being a source of authority, a president. His calling is just burgers, no ulterior motives

- Phil knows someone who would help out: Ranboo. The richest, most knowledgable man on the server, and he’s run out of things to do on the server

- Wilbur doesn’t want to play with Ranboo, but Phil threatens to kick him out if he doesn’t so he does, annoyed at being treated like a child

- Wilbur gives Ranboo his proposition

Wilbur: “I like to think, you know, let bygones be bygones, let’s bury the hatchet, let’s be -- Ranboo I’m gonna go out on a limb here...do you wanna be friends?”

- His next progression, after being a dead-terrorist-president...is to be a chef. Ranboo is onboard 

- They start walking over. Wilbur asks if Ranboo’s heard of Las Nevadas, and Ranboo mentions their abandoned cookie post that was causing trouble. He wants to create competition for Quackity’s business. Eventually, maybe Quackity will have to make a deal with them, maybe even be their friend

- Ranboo wants to keep it respectful. Wilbur assures him that they already has the land necessary

- Wilbur wants to pick Ranboo’s brain and asks his thoughts on Quackity. Ranboo says he just hasn’t seen him in so long. Their last interaction before everything else happened was just that they were in the same cabinet of New L’manburg

- Wilbur didn’t know that Ranboo was part of L’manburg’s government

- Wilbur asks if he dislikes anyone. Ranboo says not too much, just people that he doesn’t agree with. Everyone is just a product of what they’ve gone through, so if you understand that, you understand the person

- If you align yourself with everyone, isn’t that more complicated? Ranboo says that’s why he’s just been living with Phil and Techno away from everything, trying not to involve himself in much, but he has a terrible radar on what’s involving himself and what isn’t

Wilbur: “What about Dream?”

Ranboo: “Well that’s -- well, with Dream it’s kind of like...all I’ve heard of Dream, all I’ve seen with Dream is just been like the really bad things that he’s done and everything, so I would say that I -- yeah, I don’t really like Dream, but I mean, he’s also not really someone that it matters whether or not I like him ‘cause he’s just away in that prison for a really long time, so I mean...”

Wilbur: “No trial?”

- They reach their competition and go into the fast food restaurant

- He peeks into the casino, but holes it back up. This building doesn’t benefit the consumer

- Wilbur places down some signs insulting Quackity’s burger place, guaranteeing those signs will never leave since they don’t care about the customer

- Wilbur shows Ranboo his area, which he's thinking of naming “Paradise.” Ranboo says it could be a neat play on words...pair-of-dice

- Wilbur and Ranboo decide to make the place red and white, retro-themed. Ranboo gives Wilbur Ranord and Wilbur goes off to gather some red

- Wilbur likes Tubbo since he’s strong-headed and doesn’t let people push him around

- Ranboo says when you can’t change someone’s mind, it’s no use to needlessly argue. Wilbur points out that Ranboo seems to be a bit more dynamic than a purely neutral, peaceful force. He’s somehow appeared in almost every conflict the server’s had since Wilbur died

- Ranboo says it’s because he’s bad at discerning things, but he’s been doing alright with his situation recently. He wants to help people, and sometimes he lets that desire to help people get in the way of what he says about himself

Wilbur: “Ranboo...why did you help to help me?”

- Ranboo needed something to do, and he also thought that Wilbur’s an alright person, so he wants to get off on a better foot because he doesn’t like having people not like him

- Wilbur asks why he doesn’t think Wilbur’s a bad person. Ranboo says he did bad things, but also went through things that made him that way and now he’s changed as a person since he died. He’s optimistic in that

Wilbur: (sniffs) “Good, uh...that’s nice. Thank you. Uh...I think I needed to hear that.”

Wilbur: “Can I be real with you man? ...I think I scare people.”

Ranboo: “I mean...yeah, I do the same thing.”

Wilbur: “No, not in -- no no, I mean I...I don’t think I...I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to -- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.”

- He demolished Jack Manifold’s house twice, he completely ignored him in the war, and what it took for Jack to forgive Wilbur was just a sorry. 

Wilbur: “And I know -- I’ve spoken to Tommy about Jack Manifold! And Jack Manifold is not the sort of person to forgive someone like that with a sorry! Imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold! What’s Dream done to Jack Manifold, huh? Barely anything! I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you know why? Because DREAM’s in prison, and I’m not!

“Dream is -- he’s had his comeuppance and I’ve not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for these people! They’re just waiting! Waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on them -- Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo, I’m different. I’m not Dream...god, I wish I was! Sometimes I wish, I wish I’d gotten that comeuppance but Ranboo, I’m not Dream. And I’m not gonna be Dream, and that’s...”

“I’m living in eternal Limbo...again. I’ve been through Limbo. I’m out of Limbo. And socially, I’m still in this Limbo, and man, Ranboo, hearing you say those words that you said to me? Do you remember what you said?”

Ranboo: “Y-yeah, I do?”

Wilbur: “You said...(sniffs) I think people can change, that’s number one. And number two, you said you’re scared that people don’t like you.”

- He tells Ranboo that they’re kindred. They have the same neuroticism, their strongest point. But anxiety is not their downfall. Wilbur’s parents are alive because they were anxious and didn’t let anything take them down

- Ranboo says they’re both thinkers. They may think in different ways, but they think at the same level

Wilbur: “I think you might be a bit braver than me in showing your true colors. I feel like with you, Ranboo, I never have to be guessing your next move. I never have to be guessing your hand, you know? I feel like life dealt us the same cards, and the difference is you build your trust by showing people your cards whilst I keep them close to my chest, and I feel like that might be the big difference.”

- He asks Ranboo what he feels about thievery. He’s going to steal Las Nevadas’ cows to make into burgers

- Ranboo makes some concrete and starts building the van. Wilbur rides off on a horse looking for some sheep

- Wilbur asks Ranboo about Tubbo and Ranboo talks a bit about Snowchester. Wilbur thought Techno was successful at getting rid of all the nations, but Ranboo says it’s not a nation. Wilbur doesn’t know about Kinoko Kingdom either

- Wilbur gets to the spider farm, which has Kanye West in it

- He heads back and they discuss names like Paradise or Wilburger

- Wilbur asks Ranboo’s opinion on Tommy and Ranboo thinks he’s great. Tommy’s gone through a lot, but it’s made him a good person. 

Wilbur notes that he seems to think that everyone’s gone through something. Ranboo says yes, the only bad people are those who are evil without a reason why, but there’s not many people like that

- Wilbur names the first burger “Wilburger Vol. 1″ and puts a watermark on it

- Wilbur wants to ask Ranboo one last make-or-break question

- Chat suggests the “Wilburger Ranvan” and they like it

- They go to Quackity’s restaurant and Wilbur wants Ranboo to smash the windows. Ranboo does

- Wilbur goes inside and places TNT. He hands Ranboo the lighter and tells him to detonate it

- Ranboo does so. Wilbur tells Ranboo to go back to the van. He’s passed the test

Wilbur: “Ranboo, I’m proud of you man. You’ve -- you’ve taken a side.”

- Wilbur goes back and places a sign at the crater:

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***** Wilbur + Ranboo  Did this together

*****

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“I love that guy.” (laughs) “I love that guy.”

END OF WEEK RECAP:

7/19 - Nothing much happens.

7/20 - Sapnap and George speak with Mexican Dream

7/21 - Foolish creates Philzavilla and breaks into the prison

7/22 - Nothing much happens.

7/23 - Nothing much happens.

7/24 - MCC, no updates

7/25 - Wilbur and Ranboo make a burger van

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Upcoming Events:

- Captain Puffy’s Lore Stream

- Wilbur’s 11 planned streams

- Egg Finale Stream

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Ponk’s prequel stream

- Ponk’s current-day lore with Sam

- Puffy’s Lore Cast

- Sapnap’s lore

- Dream’s lore video

- Quackity’s casino opening