iamnadiaah

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian’s hands were once meant to create. He remembered the early days at mother’s side, impressing whirls of wild colors on quality pieces of paper and delighting in their beauty. He was just Damian, then. Sometimes, he was his mother’s beloved son and sometimes he was that and just Damian. He loved being just Damian, when the colors were bright and each spread of color brought life and love and tenderness. His mother tucked away those drawings in a secret compartment, to be enjoyed by herself in private. To love him, in private.

Then he became Damian al Ghul and colors were leeched out of his life. Not so much as leeched out. If anything, they got more intense. But where variety and brightness once claimed his attention, only red and black and gold held it now. So had his grandfather decreed, so he must obey. He unraveled skin, to get that nauseating shade of red. He was taught to be of worth, for without it, without the skills he mastered, Damian al Ghul was just Damian, and Damian was nothing. Damian al Ghul’s hands were not meant to create. They were meant for destruction. To spill only red, to wear only black intertwined with gold. To obey the greens of his grandfather’s robes. To see that green reflected in his own eyes and to know that grandfather was mad. Mad, but powerful. Insane with bloodlust and power hungry. Still, mother had gone cold. She no longer showed the easy affection with just Damian. So he obeyed, because that was all he knew how to do, how to love.

Then he became Damian al Ghul-Wayne. He spilt the blood of those who were proclaimed his brothers without a shred of proof they were his betters. Because they had to be his betters to be his brothers and he attacked them over and over and they would not put him down to prove themselves. And father perplexed him, because he asked Damian al Ghul-Wayne to hurt but not end, to partially break but not fully destroy. So he learns to gentle himself. But as time went on and his brothers refused to hurt him in any meaningful way, to assert their place in the hierarchy despite his challenges, Damian al Ghul-Wayne learns to love them. He learns to be, if not kind, then not harmful. To nurture, through his love of animals.

He apologizes to his brothers, in the only way he was taught, with sharp words and a reliable presence at their back. He gave them his back, turned and allowed them to walk behind, because that expression of trust was the only way he could tell them they’re welcome to stab him in the back for his transgressions. He thinks they get it, considering their support in bullying his father into getting his various pets. And, once he learned how to say it with words because it meant more to them, they forgave him with words. And guilt tripped him, but Damian allowed it for a period of time. A bit of guilt tripping for attempted murder is… an unfair trade for them.

And when he became Damian Wayne, it was an easel and an extensive paint set placed beside it that settled the name fully on his shoulders. A weight he willingly bears because the colors are back in his life again. Damian Wayne stalled at the door to the converted sunroom. A studio.

“It’s yours, Master Damian.” Alfred Pennyworth placed his hand on Damian Wayne’s shoulder. A welcome home. A sign of acceptance.

Numb, numb lips parted to ask, “Mine..?”

“We had thought this would be an appropriate gift for your birthday. Your siblings put quite a bit of work into remodeling it, with our help.”

Damian knew exactly where they got the idea. His gaze had lingered too long at the paintings in a gala they were forced to go to, and Timothy was by his side, eyes always sharp and knowing and kind.

He could see Richard’s influence in the awnings, high places painted with bright colors and little blobs of things. He could see father’s influence, in the way the furniture was optimally placed. Barbara’s touch in the high tech music center, and remote monitoring system. Jason’s in the hidden weapons around the room, league trained and knowing that it would help Damian feel secure in this new area of his life. Timothy’s influence that all of this happened to begin with, without Damian’s knowledge nor suspicion. Alfred’s influence in the accessible doors and food bowls and conveniently placed bed for Titus.

And later, the rest of his family will swing by and leave impressions of themselves (to Damian’s disgruntlement, literal impressions) in his room. But for now?

Right now, it feels like acceptance. It feels like love. It feels like he could be Just Damian again.

“It is acceptable.” He said, running over gentle fingers over the selection of brushes and tubes of paints. His gentleness belies the cold words, and Alfred Pennyworth knows that this is high praise coming from Damian.

“Very good, Master Damian.” Alfred Pennyworth replied.

And then Damian al Ghul-Wayne isn’t sure-

“I… am allowed?”

Alfred Pennyworth’s eyes darken with sadness, but his face remains impeccably unaffected. Damian thinks that’s why he understood Damian’s learned coldness the best.

“Yes. This is, after all, your birthday gift to be enjoyed whenever you see fit.”

Just like that, Damian knows he isn’t just Damian anymore. He’s Damian Wayne because just Damian did not have this, did not have them. Damian nodded decisively and picked up his brush. He squeezed out paint and, as Richard might say, “went to town.”

With every stroke of the brush, every color smeared onto blank canvas, a smile steadily grew in his face. Damian looses himself once more in the colors and swirls and shapes and does not see his family gathered at the door marveling at the pure unfiltered joy, the first they’ve ever truly witnessed, on his face.

He does not notice when they leave, filtering away and feeling proud at themselves, because Damian Wanyne found his colors again. His hands were no longer just meant for creating or destruction. His hands learned to do both, to express what he himself could not. His canvases were proudly displayed around his home.

Damian Wayne thinks he’s found family. He think he’s found a bit of himself.

[cutiesigh]

❤️🖤🩷

Wuthering Waves has taken over all of my free time recently, so here's a sketch of Scar!Ren I originally shared in da 14DWY Discord!!

[thelibraryofalexandriastillburns]

“Doctor, you don’t have to be like this.”

“I have to be like this because this is what i’m like.”

Fifteen, you know full well, that therapy did not last a single second past The Giggle. It’s exactly like the Girl in the Fireplace, why are you smiling and getting ready to leave when he kissed you and told you to find him?? GO FIND HIM???

[witchinatree]

making a list of my favorite quote/ones that stuck with me from each season 1 episode because i feel like it

(i'm starting this after episode 4 but it will be a WHILE before i post it)

episode 1: "bones are a lie peddled by Big Milk" - alice

i love this one because it's a great introduction to alice i think. also it radiates spiral so i hope we get avatar alice not dead alice (isnt there a podcast called alice isnt dead?)

episode 2: "If I wanted to clear the canvas, I would have used turpentine." - statement

this one was just fucking powerful and caught me so off guard like 😶

episode 3: "What would I do without her?" - statement

the norris statement <3 it feels like martin asking what he would do without jon which makes mag200 a lot sadder and i love them

episode 4: "Perhaps you shall prove a stronger will than I, and will yet find it within yourself to destroy this hungry thing of wood and cat-gut." - statement

augustus sighting #1 and we immediately get jonah magnus expressing that it may be possible for gwen bouchard unknown family member to overcome the eye's hunger spooky violin

episode 5: "Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed." - statement

i feel like this one is pretty reflective of how the seasons gonna go? like if you explain the events of tma (mag200 specifically) no one's gonna believe you, it must be seen to be believed!! and also seen!! like the eye!!!

episode 6: "Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh." - needles

i love needles so much and i thought this was really funny because it was like "you dont find me scary!! what the fuck!!!" just kind of toddler michael energy

episode 7: "It’s not like we’re wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." - celia

STOP IT. celia you can't say that you just cannot!!!!!! you Know™ too much maam i cant with you

episode 8: "Pleasure to meet you both. I’m Gerry!"

RAGHHHHH OH MY GOD GERRY!!!! i love him so much and idk how to handle him being alive in the tmagp universe!! gertrude too but idk we got so much of her in tma and not nearly enough of gerry

episode 9: "And honestly, it’s kind of compelling by this point." - sam

they got him 😔😔 the horrors got sam 😔😔 also i found this to be an interesting contrast to jon's heavy resistance in season 1 like he was being compelled but he wasn't going to let anyone know that vs sam "its kinda compelling to trauma dump on this paperwork :]" how is he somehow even more victim material

episode 10: "Gosh you’re sexy, here’s a twenty for your trouble.” - alice

does this count as a quote if shes also quoting what she thinks sam should say? idk anyway i love her i would say that to her if given the chance and it was very silly. i will not be addressing bonzo i am scared.

episode 11: "...Thank you, Alice" - gwen

dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard dyhard. okay also, the way she CRUMBLED at the idea of anyone doing anything nice for her please someone give her a hug and let it be ME. this series is tossing me back and forth between sam & alice (what is their ship name) and dyhard but this put me back to dyhard

episode 12: "You know it's rude to have absolutely no game?" - alice

she's so fucking funny i need her to be okay so badly!!!! i don't think even tim made me laugh as much as she makes me chuckle and this one really got me. it's hard to write such a comedic character in a podcast since you only have the voice but they really nailed it i adore her

episode 13: "Is it my fault?" - gwen

each of these episodes just reveal a little bit more about how loving and soft gwen is and idk i love her so unbelievably much so seeing that she felt guilt about the bonzo stuff just made her so much more real :(

episode 14: "Christ, they’re in the walls…" - statement

theyre in the walls!!! theyre in the goddamn walls!!!!! anyway that got me because i realized the hole before the statement said it. made more sad than scared tbh

episode 15: "Babies are cool!" - alice this entire interaction between her and sam & celia was so awkward, she is so obvious and i love her anyway

episode 16: "It’s not like I was holding doors open for Mr Bonzo or anything." - gwen my wife is so so so stupid but i adore her AND this gives room for character development. i wish she did not do that though. i love when characters are flawed and have depth but i struggled to get past THIS flaw of hers

episode 17: "Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same, though, is it?" - celia shes talking TO JON IN THE COMPUTER. SHE KNOWS. i lost my damn mind i love her i love her. get the gay people out of the puter please queen

episode 18: "Why would I need to talk to you? Your work is satisfactory. Unless you have a work-related issue I could assist you with?" - lena solidified my opinion that lena is the best boss to ever have, i adore her and i would want to work for her if she wasn't the boss of Creepy Establishment #1

episode 19: "You’re going to throw it in the fishtank, aren’t you?" - alice colin's behavior is like really worrying BUT i'm glad he's back. i was not convinced he was still alive

episode 20: "I suppose it’s too late for remorse, isn’t it? And why should I be sorry? This is what I deserve!" - ink5oul/statement they reminded me of jon a lot, like especially his season 3/4 transformation when he doesn't quite know everything but he knows he isn't who he was in season 1 anymore, i hope we see more of their life and they can be helped :(

episode 21: [Tape Recorder Bites Ink5oul] - audio description i know it's not technically a quote but this is just so fucking funny. why does it have teeth. what does this mean for the lore. holy shit.

episode 22: "Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood" - celia. knawing at the walls of my enclosure i am so not okay. i'm not okay. wtf. wtf. wtf. they're real. wtf.

episode 23: "I had a favorite mug. It said “love you, bitch” and had a picture of a drunk dog on it." - alice. okay i just love this entire interaction because gwen got to open up a little bit and my dyhard heart is so full

episode 24: "I am told that children like me, and I’ve always held the opinion that the world would be a better place if everyone just thought more." - basira. once again this whole interaction was so fun but like idk i loved hearing basira somewhat happy and in a safe place :] my wife <3

episode 25: " I am trying to help, to save us from this goddamned fucking nightmare machine!" - colin. MAN I REALLY WAS ROOTING FOR YOU!!! I WAS SO CONFIDENT YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE!!!! it's over

episode 26: "I was worrying for a moment that you were Magnussing." - alice. MAGNUSSING BEING CANON MADE ME SAY IT EVEN MORE I'VE SAID IT LIKE TWICE ALREADY

episode 27: "You didn’t tell me the room was labelled, “Archivist.”" - celia. oooooh somebody's got TRAUMAAAAA LMAO

episode 28: "So you’re telling me you know nothing about an OIAR external contract being found with the bodies of two tattooed thugs who met rather grisly ends?" - TREVOR HERBERT???? anyway. ink5oul mention!!!!! i hope they stop killing people it's really rude

episode 29: "Alice, er… we’ve got to talk. It’s important." - teddy. i knew it was over for him but i didn't think it was gonna be THIS bad??? bye babe i guess??? 😭

episode 30: how do i even pick. the whole fucking episode. i can't. i am in a state of shock. i need to lay down for 30 years.

[greyhavensking]

Kaneki’s definition of beating Ayato half to death is as insane and hilarious as always

[fromperdition4]

You Never Cared (Enough)

This. This is the moment, I think, where Porsche finally admits to himself he wants Kinn.

Because Porsche isn’t really arguing against Kinn’s point here.

Kinn does care about his people - we’ll see very clear examples of that later in the series (when he’s grieving for Big and Erica, when he saves Pol and Pete during the shootout, etc.), and Porsche has concrete proof that Kinn cares just as much about him -

But Porsche doesn’t want Kinn to see him as an employee - a responsibility. He doesn’t even want to be seen as a friend.

He wants Kinn to admit that being with Porsche meant something… different. That he didn’t just use Porsche, to get it out of his system, when he was an easy target.

Because it was different for Porsche.

As far as we know, the end of episode 4 was the first time Porsche had sex with a man, the first time he’d had sex after being drugged, and… the first time he’d had sex with someone he really liked. Someone he’d been starting to get to know, who irritated and intrigued him all at once, instead of just a one-time fling.

And he barely got any time to process all of that - his sexuality, his autonomy, his feelings - before Kinn shut down, put more distance between them than ever before, and became cruel -

So it’s only now, after getting time away to get back to who he was - in his own house, spending time with his brother and friends - that Porsche has finally worked out just why he’s so hurt by Kinn.

That, despite everything, he doesn't want to be just one of Kinn's people.

He wants Kinn to care more about him.

[lovealwayssay]

My brain has completely forgotten almost everything about Supernatural seasons 9 and 12-15. I remember bits and pieces, but I cannot for the life of me tell you what the overarching plot was for any of those seasons. Here’s what I know about each of those seasons:

9. Sam is possessed by an angel? Dean dies in the end and becomes a demon idk

12. Peak Destiel vibes, Mary’s back, Cas is killed?

13. Widower arc, Jack is there

14. Jack kills Mary at some point idk

15. Lets kill God, divorce arc, “You changed me, Dean”, worst finale ever

[icewindandboringhorror]

reminders of the passage of time moodeboard

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

It's so hard being a Rhage (from Black Dagger Brotherhood) girlie because while every other character, including background characters and newly introduced characters, have had pov chapters in multiple books. My boy Rhage has had a pov in exactly one book! And it was his book! And it was book two! (I'm up to book 12 of 22) And I didn't even get his pov in the lead up to his book like all the other characters have for their books because book one was too busy setting up the series and focusing on the main characters of that book, to fit in extra povs. So anyway it's just really hard 😭

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Was soooooo happy with this phase 1 which is what made it so much funnier that I was immediately clapped by his phase 2 😂

[taco-drinking-bleach]

I think the reason I like Yanqing so much isn't just because he is like my son (he is, trust). But also the fact that he is so so so real??? like, sure he's cocky, but he is a kid that has been told he was the best at what he does and has spent a lot of time training. He also has a deep love for swords. If you where him you would act the same. His deep want to prove himself as a capable person is also fair. You can be told something a lot, but there can still be yk? doubtful? If something doesn't go the way you thought it would or you aren't to your own pre-made standard it can hurt. It can mess up your whole mojo! No matter how good or how amazing you make yourself. You will always be human. This also goes for Yanqing, He may be all these things, but he is also a child.

[werebutch]

sorry im gonna be an asshole but if my dad knew he couldnt take care of us with the progression of his diseases then why did he fight so hard for custody. im 20 yrs old i shouldnt still be thinking abt this but still like. a billion years of neglect the fact that he is sick is irrelevant when he knew very well that he wouldnt meet our basic needs. sorry. and now its on me to take care of 2 mostly-adult teenagers who hate my guts and still think they're 12 years old and cant go to the store. or clean. or whayever. AGHHHHHHH

[heather-chandlers-weirder-cousin]

I really was making up the most insanely codependent relationships as comfort scenarios when I was a kid

[silvermarmoset]

your tags are SO true like it was one thing to bring tennant back pre-ncuti, since the whole point of that was quite transparently to increase viewership FOR ncuti, but to be like "actually tennant!doctor gets to go have his own life and ncuti is a totally different offshoot" is like ....... well.

i'm screaming a lot in the tags but i'm guessing you meant these ones?

#honestly. horrible horrible flex to set ncuti up across from the most beloved doctor from the start?#like i (and im guessing a lot of other people!) will /always/ be drawn to 10 and feel like he's our doctor#don't set ncuti up like that!! deny us dt and MAKE US LOOK AT HIM. this is so SO weird rtd wtf did you do

because yeah. it actually makes me a bit furious because leaving a spare doctor hanging around and sending Ncuti off as a double is just handing the perfect excuse to every bigot who wants to claim that Ncuti isn't the real doctor, the real doctor is back on earth in Donna Noble's garden. Why do that? Why make it easy for fans who want to drop the show now and pretend it's always the old way, forever?

i can think of reasons for doing it this way—like i'm 95% certain this was just a convoluted way to give Donna her happy ending—but none of the possible reasons i can think of justify going about it like this. I love Ten, and Tennant, I could watch him go on adventures forever, but the point should be I DON'T GET TO because because here's A WHOLE NEW WONDERFUL DOCTOR to go on adventures with! The whole constant point in Who is that change and death DO happen, and one of the joys is grieving the old while embracing the new!

But this episode doing this weird little pivot where you can die but still live, where a separate form of you can rest* so you can go on adventures....idk what moral RTD was aiming for here but it feels like he just shot his own next era in the foot for no particular reason beyond "we love Ten" (and we do but. come on)

*(what does that even mean?? canonically we know the doctor is restless and always running into trouble so what was the point of that?? it's confirmed he's going to mars on fun little trips!! this is the same man and you gave him a tardis and apparently there's no sacrifice at all?? what is this!! why!!)

[swiftcast-selene]

Day 6: Road

"aye, aye, I know. it's cold, it's miserable. but count your lucky stars we know these roads at night, and the Imperials don't."

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

14 tbh