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#he's a jerk
lemondragoncheesecake · 7 months
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Bored: General Kai x Reader Smutfic
Kinks: outdoor, spontaneous, riding, roughness, some mild cum inflation, Kai denying you aftercare because he's a jerk, etc.
It was one of those slower days. There wasn't much to do, now that camp had been cleaned up and you and Kai were traveling again- you never knew where, exactly, for the most part you just followed Kai around wherever he felt like going on this strange mission of his. You never minded, really, just enjoying the ride and his company while it lasted.
But it was a slow day, all the same. Boring, dull, just you, him, the road, and the quiet, bland monotony of the forest for miles all around. That, and the intense silence finally got to you. You sighed loudly.
"I'm borrrrrred," you hadn't intended to whine (you know how he felt about whining), but you couldn't help it; besides, even a little irritation from him might be entertaining.
He glanced at you for a moment, frowning, his eyes roaming up and down your body. Your muscles tensed. Then the corner of his lip slowly turned up in a smirk.
"Bored, huh? Maybe I could help with that."
That was far from the expected response. You paused where you were, and then blinked at him for a moment. Your muscles relaxed. But then confusion turned to curiosity, and you returned his smile. "Oh? How so?"
He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in, his breath warm against your ear. "...Hope you're in the mood."
And with no more than that, he lifted you off your feet and slung you across one of his large shoulders. His head was tilted slightly to the side, avoiding poking you with his horns. The grip he had on you was steady, and one of his hooves squeezed your rear; you didn't have to guess what he wanted. Your face flushed.
He hummed a tune, occasionally bouncing you and chuckling whenever you made a slight grunt or noise of protest. There was a clearing here, isolated save for the ring of trees and brush, and he set you down on a boulder and immediately began to loosen the ties on your clothes. You assisted, heart hammering; oh, this was definitely going to be fun.
For his part, undressing was easier. All he needed to do was take off his belt, and then his cock was free, burgeoning out from his crotch. You saw it, and your legs immediately fell open. Kai chuckled and then gently pinned you against the rock. He wasn't the one for teasing or foreplay, and neither would you have allowed it; you were both impatient, your mutual arousal as sudden as it was consuming, and consume and consummate you did- immediately. He never wasted a second.
Kai released a long, content sigh as he eased his way in, and then he pressed his cheek against yours, the coarse stubble scratching your softer skin. You settled into the stretch with a quiet moan, then wrapped your legs around his broad waist. It had taken much work to get to this point, that he could almost hilt in you, and none of that effort had been easy: but by the gods, was it rewarding.
Then he started thrusting, slowly at first, ensuring you were comfortable and settled before he found a nice pace that suited you both, and the momentum started to build. Kai lifted your leg, placing it over his shoulder. You grunted softly, and then he picked up his pace, hitting some places just right, and you moaned louder. But a little longer, and the position began to wear; the friction on your skin from the rock beneath you was starting to chafe. You winced and reached up, placing a hand on his chest.
"Switch places?" It was a somewhat timid request- it had to be, you never really knew just how Kai would react to certain things, and this was one of them- not that he would ever hurt you physically, of course, such a thing was unthinkable; You just never knew how he'd respond to any given suggestion.
There was a pause. You tensed. He looked down at you for a moment, though those glowing green eyes didn't expose any of his thoughts, even as they searched into yours. You held your breath, wondering to yourself if maybe you had made the wrong suggestion at the wrong time- but then Kai sighed.
"...Alright."
Then he gently pulled all of his length out of you and laid on his back on the ground, patting his thigh invitingly.
You sat up. "...We don't have to," You said, "I was just-"
"Just get up here before I change my mind," he said, but there was nothing genuine in the threat. You obediently climbed up, straddling his waist, and he held his member steady as you lowered yourself onto it, though it was already erect enough.
His cock filled you again, and you bit your lip to suppress a moan- though Kai quickly corrected that. He reached up, pressing one the flat end of the cleft that acted as his thumb against your chin, right under your lower lip. His other hand pushed against your inner thigh, spreading your legs a little bit wider. One thrust upwards, rough, fast, and you let out a much louder cry.
"That's better," he chuckled, and laid his head back down. His hoof squeezed your thigh, running up and down the sensitive skin. "I want you loud. Don't make me force you again."
And you made sure he didn't; soon you were moaning shamelessly, gasping his titles between thrusts, screaming his name, your body trembling from the pleasure he worked out of you.
He tilted his head back, running shallow grooves into the soft dirt with his horns. The motion exposed all of his throat to you, and you took the opportunity to kiss his Adam's apple. A rumbling chuckle was his response. The clefts of his hooves ran into the folds of your hips, and then dug in, keeping a steady purchase on you as you gently moved up and down.
Eventually, the pace began to pick up. His snorts came in quicker and faster, and his grip on you tightened- you were going to have bruises, but you couldn't say you cared. The building surge you felt was causing your muscles to tighten, and you gripped his wrists with all your strength (miniscule, compared to his- you wouldn't even leave a mark) just to hold on to something to keep you grounded- and then he grunted again, a lower sound more like a bellow, and then you were screaming his name, and then your mind went entirely, blissfully blank.
Every nerve was alight with ecstasy. The general grunted again, and you felt his cum filling you, felt him move his hips just to keep it from spilling out, and then there was a sense of perverted pride in you: pride that you could take so much of him, and hold his load.
As soon as you thought it was over, you made to climb off of him, but then his grip on your hips tightened. You looked down at him. He smirked.
"I'm not done with you yet," he growled.
Of course, being a Spirit Warrior had its perks: nearly limitless stamina being but one of them. An excited thrill ran down your spine, and blood rushed to your groin anew. Kai grinned and pulled you back down, and you screamed again in delight. Shame was long gone from you; you were alone, anyway, and even if he was taking you in the middle of a crowded spice market you wouldn't have cared.
Kai used you like an object. His cock pounded up into your core, slamming certain nerve bundles just so, his hips forcing yours to move with them or be bashed- and you loved every second of it- tenfold, when he would stop suddenly, full hilt, just as he came. Sometimes you came first, others he did, and the best times came when you both reached that peak together. It was rough and loud and sloppy, and you couldn't ask for better.
Yet another climax was coming, you could feel it in the way his muscles tensed under you, how his pace suddenly increased; then he groaned, his back arching, hilting right at that sweet, sweet moment.
"There you go," he said, his voice barely more than a low, cocky purr, "full enough? Or should I fill you again?"
Now that he had allowed your nerves time to settle down this time (such rare consideration for your mortal state), you could actually feel the other sensations in your body; the soreness, the ever so slightly painful tinge of the bruises from his grip, bruises he rubbed so gently now...how incredibly, satisfactorily full your belly was.
But you couldn't take any more: that was clear. You were soaked in sweat, shaking, and exhausted. You tried to swallow past a throat gone dry and scratchy from all of your cries and screams of pleasure earlier, tried to answer him, but couldn't get anything out. Kai raised his brows, but the smirk on his face was telling. You swallowed and tried again:
"Th-thank you...Sir, but I think...I don't think I can take anymore."
Kai chuckled and released another sigh- longer, softer and more content than any other thus far. He lifted you slightly, then began to pull out of you, a slow process that made even more of a mess, leaving you strangely empty and sore- though you couldn't say you minded much. You shifted, laying on top of him with your head on the pillow of his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, keeping you warm even as your bodies began to cool.
A soft moment- You catching your breath, only you, him letting you, simply enjoying this as it was- and then you heard a noise. You pressed your ear against his chest. It began to vibrate softly, and then a long, low note began to emit from somewhere deep in his belly. A sound he rarely made, save during moments like this- moments when he was truly content and at peace.
You glanced up at his face. He had his eyes closed, his expression softened in a way you had only ever seen once or twice, again only exclusive to these rare occasions. Beneath you, his chest rose and fell and vibrated at an even, soothing rhythm. He wasn't asleep, though: spirit warriors had no need of sleep.
In a way it was almost as if he was obliging you by pretending to sleep whenever you slept, and letting you lay on him like this while you did it. You were very tired, especially after what just happened, but you couldn't help but stay awake and ask just one more little thing from him. Your hand reached up, gently tugging on his moustache. Kai snorted.
"Still bored?" He grumbled, his eyes still closed.
"Hm. Maybe-" his eyes didn't open, but you felt his grip tighten on you again, and he began to grind against you, your rear pressing against the base of his member. You realized the danger you would unwittingly bring on yourself, and you were quick to correct it. "-I mean- no, but..."
Kai stopped grinding and chuffed. His grip loosened. "Hm. Well, if you want, you could get started on the fun part," he said.
That piqued your curiosity. "Fun part?"
He opened one eye slightly, smirking at you. He cast a glance at the clothes strewn everywhere behind you, and then at the mess between your bodies, then back up at you again. His smirk grew.
You gazed at the mess, realized his meaning, and suddenly you felt very exhausted. With a sigh you laid your head back down on his chest. "...Consider my boredom cured," you said.
Kai chuckled and closed his eye again, rubbing your back. "You're welcome."
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bethanydelleman · 1 year
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Darcy’s Excuses
This is the most frequent passage cited to prove that Darcy is shy/socially awkward/introverted. I want to break it down.
“Perhaps,” said Darcy, “I should have judged better had I sought an introduction, but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.”
“Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?” said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. “Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?”
“I can answer your question,” said Fitzwilliam, “without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.”
“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,” said Darcy, “of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.”
Firstly, Darcy is flirting with Elizabeth here. When he says he should have sought an introduction, he’s trying to indicate that he likes Elizabeth and should not have snubbed her. I doubt he cares about the others. However, he does say what some people use to justify the shy/socially awkward argument, he doesn’t recommend himself to strangers.
But then right away, Elizabeth calls him out, he’s well-educated, why the heck not? Because for context, these people are taught how to converse. Their society has far more “scripts” for conduct than ours. Darcy could easily have gotten through the entire Meryton assembly on canned phrases, just like Elizabeth jokes about at the Netherfield Ball:
“It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.”
Now his cousin jumps in, Colonel Fitzwilliam probably gives us the most truthful answer, given what Darcy says about himself later. Darcy doesn’t recommend himself because he doesn’t want to most of the time.
Then we have Darcy again. Now some of this statement does sound a lot like someone who struggles socially, “catch their tone of conversation”, but the second part, “appear interested in their concerns”, that is just basic politeness! “My mom is sick.” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Many people are actually concerned about other’s concerns, but Darcy in his radical truth telling phase, HE isn’t going to pretend. 
And then we have this passage, which some people interpret as an extrovert attacking an introvert (just TRY to be less introverted):
“My fingers,” said Elizabeth, “do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I would not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.”
Darcy smiled and said, “You are perfectly right. You have employed your time much better. No one admitted to the privilege of hearing you can think anything wanting. We neither of us perform to strangers.”
This is the key! Darcy will not perform. He knows how, he’s perfectly capable. We see him do it multiple times. Why did he not get through the Meryton Ball on canned niceties? Because to him that’s performing to strangers and he doesn’t want to do it. Why is he so rude to Sir William when he says something trite? Because Darcy doesn’t do small talk, he’s not going to perform. The problem is that small talk is what makes the world go round.
So yes, if you cherry pick from the passage, Darcy seems shy and socially awkward, but if you take it as a whole, the truth becomes more apparent. Colonel Fitzwilliam is probably a more reliable witness here, he’s not flirting! And we know many of Darcy’s other thoughts, he know what he says at the end:
“What did you say of me that I did not deserve? For though your accusations were ill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, my behaviour to you at the time had merited the severest reproof. It was unpardonable. I cannot think of it without abhorrence.”
Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: ‘Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.’ Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me; though it was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice.
Darcy’s reasons are excuses, when he actually suffers for his behaviour (finally) in the form of Elizabeth’s rejection, he reviews what he has been doing and changes. He doesn’t stop being socially awkward, he just actually puts what he was fully capable of doing into action. Because he has known how to do it all along, he just didn’t bother.
Also, Elizabeth can identify introverts. When she meets Georgiana, she immediately guesses shy and pities her for it. Her beloved sister Jane is modest and reserved. I doubt she’d be shaming someone for having a personality type.
Furthermore, Austen celebrates introverts! Mansfield Park is a whole freaking novel about an introvert who figures out everyone! Fanny Price would have seen through Wickham no problem. Austen knows the values of shy and introverted people. Darcy’s problem therefore is not that he is shy/socially awkward. It’s that he’s a dick about it.
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cassettemoon · 2 years
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Journey to the West is extremely funny and my arm hurts now
Chapters 2 and 3
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ariel-s-awesome · 1 year
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Hater's attitude towards Sylvia is interesting. By all rights he should be more concerned about her. Maybe even impressed.
Yet Hater sees Sylvia as just an extension of Wander. She's his steed. His protector. His buddy. His fellow nuisance. And when he captures Wander and Sylvia, she's an afterthought.
Does he even say her name on it's own? Or is it just Wander and Sylvia?
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dracocheesecake · 8 months
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Random question: how Kai knows that Jing has a crush on a fictional/real crush? Did kai saw her drawing similar images of her and her crush (Turning red reference,) or commonly, can't sleep nor eat. Just made me curious.
I think Jing tries to be subtle about her crushes but Kai is unfortunately extremely observant towards people and their emotions (when it suits him best) and yeah there were probably a few occasions where he noticed her acting a little strangely and he just bursts into her room all "HEY JING-A-LING WHATCHA DOIN?! HOPE I'M NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING- Oh are you drawing?! Oooooooo let me see!"- Of course, knowing she's drawing pictures of her recent crush- and he, being the jerk he is, will relentlessly tease her over it. If the crush comes over, Kai somehow gets even worse. He's literally just that dad that loves to embarrass his kid to discourage them from dating in their teens.
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bornangelauthor · 1 year
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Musk and Twitter imploding
Twitter has been my main platform for nearly a decade, now that Elon Musk has taken over the company, fired countless people, and is likely to start charging people for verification (which comes with perks), this platform is going to implode.
I foresee more people leaving in droves, advertisers backing out, and not being able to see anyone who does not have a blue check. This fucking sucks on so many levels. Putting up “pay walls” to keep the little creators, small businesses, and self-published authors like me from being seen and promoting anyone willing to line his pockets with $8 a bloody month.
His claims to it “helping” are nothing short of delusional nonsense and Horrible business sense. He has not seen nor does he understand the amount of which he is fucking things over. And all RIGHT BEFORE A US ELECTION! Hmm, one could only speculate that he’s doing this for political reasons.
I hate politics and generally don’t speak out about this bullshit, but I genuinely don’t want to lose that platform. It’s where I have my largest following, though Tiktok is a few hundred followers away from beating that. 
Anyhow, that is my small, researched and voiced view on the matter. it seriously sucks to see this tank, but maybe the writers of twitter can start a new company. One that won’t pull this bull.
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I love my silly awful son.
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lightningwaters · 2 years
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meimeikyu · 2 years
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This fiend refuses to get off my arm even though im in class- hes been here for at least 45 minutes
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dollyreblogs · 2 years
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Misha, waking up and choosing violence: KITTY, IF YOU HAD TO BE KILLING ONE OF YOUR CATS TO SAVE BENITO'S LIFE, WHICH CAT WOULD IT BE-
Kitty: *sobbing*
Benito, comforting her as Alley pats her back: WHY!?
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nikkicross22 · 2 years
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For any of you wondering what takes me so long between updates, here is your answer. He is relentless.
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aikoiya · 2 years
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I find it funny that everyone makes Sans as a hero for his role in genocide route despite it literally took almost everyone in underground to be dead for him to actually take action like wow he is that lazy? He didn't tried to kill the human before they get ever stronger huh?
I KNOW!! It's so frustrating!
I have so many unflattering things to say about him.
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ikiprian · 2 months
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Mr. Fenton is a competent teacher. Almost too competent.
If Mr. Daniel Fenton had any more than a BS (with a minor in education), Tim would’ve flagged his profile as a potential Rogue. That’s the way of most charismatic academics, at least in Gotham. (Got a PhD? Instant watchlist.) Instead, he’s Gotham Academy’s newest celebrity, as a young, passionate, out-of-towner substitute while the chemistry teacher’s on maternity leave.
Tim gets the hype. Fenton seems to genuinely love teaching, and is invested in the welfare of the student body. He hands out bananas during exam week, hosts a “study habits seminar” each month to coach effective learning strategies, and the third time Tim falls asleep in his class, he even pulls Tim aside to ask if he’s doing okay. With all the late work he accepts and the protein bars he sneaks Tim, he’s every teen vigilante’s dream teacher. He could’ve been Tim’s favorite.
In fact, Mr. Fenton was Tim’s favorite. Up until Tim walks into Mr. Fenton’s chemistry classroom for a forgotten textbook, an hour after the final bell.
On the board where tallied scores for today’s review game had been kept, “THE CHEMISTRY BEHIND DR. CRANE’S FEAR GAS: ANXIOGENICS, NERI’S, & YOU,” is now scrawled. A detailed diagram of the human endocrine system projects in front of a small crowd of adoring and attentive students.
Fenton is wrist-deep in the skull cavity of an anatomical model. A short tug, and out pops the brain.
It’s plastic. It’s fake.
Tim identifies the nearest emergency exit.
Fenton turns to the door, and in the dark classroom with the projector illuminating half his face, his eyes almost seem to flash red. “What’s up, Tim?” he asks. His friendly grin is too big for his face. “I didn’t know you wanted to join the Just Science League!”
[OR: Danny’s a science teacher at Tim’s school. Gotham’s a pretty wild place, even for someone who grew up a superhero in a ghost-infested town, so he takes it upon himself to start a club teaching kids how to manage themselves in the event of a crisis. These Gothamites are pretty hardy, but a little extra training never hurt anybody! And he suspects one of his students might be a teen vigilante, like he’d been, back in the day. As a senior super, it's Danny’s duty look out for him! Surely, this is the subtlest and most appropriate way to give the kid pointers.]
[Tim immediately assumes supervillain.]
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severalsmallwizards · 13 days
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if you can spare 1$ go donate it!
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Peni had a rough canon event
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zoe-oneesama · 23 days
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Will you be designing Felix and his angel for the Angelic Layer AU?
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I struggled to think of a way to incorporate the Peacock's power into it, so opted that instead he kicks ass without any special glitch.
Ko-fi | Patreon
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