#he's getting pepper sprayed idc

[hakusins]

cw // tattoos, piercings

why are they so loud about liking blondes .... i haven't slept in months pLEASE (<- not a blonde enjoyer)

even the version thats not in DOL universe likes blondes too 😭😭😭

slight cameo of whitney the faithful that belongs to moosen/jdolh !! (no tag cause its just smol cameo 😭)

[dollfacedsl1ut]

Her first concert

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compendium : Karina and her friends decided to go to a local concert before college the guitarist caught her eye but to no avail she couldn’t get her number the next day when she moved into the college dorm a familiar guitar was found outside her neighbors door, when you walked outside she noticed why it looked familiar you were the guitarist she met at the concert maybe this would be her chance to finally talk to you or maybe even more

dynamic : !fan Karina x g!p guitarist reader

warnings : alcoholic drinking, heated make out session, mentions of vomit, tipsy driving

word count : 1.5k

a/n : made 10/11/23 let’s see when this’ll be posted HAHAHAHAHHSH okay enough I hope you guys enjoy if you say anything about the band name you will be found

Band name: Barrack Beetles

There will be made up characters Lalala idc hush there’s

Y/n : Guitarist

Eleanor : Drummer

Chloe : Vocalist/Singer WTV helps you sleep

Luna : Pianist

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“Come on please it’s the last fun thing we can do before college tomorrow” winter one of karinas friends begged, karina still resisted shaking her head “why not it’ll be fun I swear” Giselle pitched in of course gi would know it was one of her favorite bands “fine…but if I don’t like it I’m coming straight back” Karina got off her bed rummaging through her of her many suitcases under her bed she pulled out a pair of black ripped jeans and a beige crop top that hung off her shoulder (spicy era outfit inspo) “simple enough” she groaned standing up before putting on her clothes matching with a pair of black dr martens.

“Are you finally ready we’re gonna be late” Karinas youngest friend ningning whined “yeah yeah hold on” spraying a bit of perfume on her neck and wrists Karina walked out her room making sure to grab an emergency whistle, her phone, and pepper spray for protection of course..

The car ride to the concert was filled with cheers and excitement Karina never seen her friends this happy to see a rock band before maybe she underestimated their excitement. The venue was crowded with loud music being heard from the outside “I’m totally gonna make luna sign my boobs” Giselle giggled “as if…” ningning glared at the older friend who just kept a smirk on her face Karina heard the girls talk about which member they were gonna make do what whether it’s sign their neck, face, tongue, back maybe if the band members liked them enough maybe their boobs like Giselle suggested, winter parked the car a few feet away from the entrance at this point the line was wrapped around the building.

“see I knew I should’ve stayed at the dorm” Karina groaned hitting her head against the window looking at the line “unless..I preordered virtual tickets so we can get her early access in” Giselle snickered pulling out her phone showing the tickets “seems legit….already let’s go” winter was the first one out the car whilst Karina was last the smell of cheap perfume from the girls in the line filled their nostrils, once they reached the beginning of the line Giselle showed the bouncer the tickets as he let them in through the red rope a bunch of “Day 1 fans” protesting and yelling profanities.

Walking in the club a rush of sweet booze filled their nostrils the sound of music rang in their ears as they shuffled their way to the front of the stage seeing a host pick up the mic he was a tall guys with long curly hair he had a few visible tats and a deep voice that made any girl go weak “Our next performers are a very popular band we Have Barrack Beetles(omg I hate this name)” the crowd cheered as a group of 4 women stood tall on stage with their punk clothing, mix dyed hair and tattoos and piercings the usual rebellious look

Karina gawked at one member the guitarist, the lights changed into a purple tint as the music started the song started with you aka the guitarist. Karina watched in awe as you balanced the pick in your hand strumming the guitar she was starting to regret not seeing you much sooner, she looked at her friends seeing them scream and giggle whilst dancing aggressively to the song.

After your band finished with a few songs on your latest album the 4 of you gathered together holding any handheld instruments in hand before introducing yourself to your fans, waving and winking to anyone who caught your eye even the blonde headed girl wearing the beige crop top she seemed like a new listener you couldn’t deny she was very beautiful, better than any other fans you had quick make out sessions with, After the time was up you walked backstage “I seen the way you looked at her dude” Chloe the vocalist said nudging you “she’s probably crazy like other fans…but she does have a pretty doll like face I dig that” you loosened the guitar strap tossing it over your shoulder before tightening it back around you “you say this about every fan that makes your dick hard y/n” Chloe glanced at you “maybe you’re right but still she’s pretty” after your band finished packing the equipment your manager piled it inside the car “you guys have 30 minutes until curfew have fun” your manager said getting into the drivers seat…

You guys scurried off into the club immediately going to the vip section, you turned down the bottle service only taking shot by shot you didn’t wanna be too hungover to go to school tomorrow but you didn’t wanna be too sober so that you didn’t get laid, After your 4th shot your body felt tingly but you still could function the blonde haired girl you seen earlier was in the booth across from you guys she noticed you and gave you a small smile, waving your hand you ushered her to come over with shaky legs the girl sat next to you..

“Hi I’m karina what’s your name.?” Her voice was quiet but you were close enough to hear her speak “hey I’m y/n” you looked her up and down taking in her pretty features “I can tell you’ve never been to one of our concerts before did you enjoy it” Karina nodded as her pale face heated up “you were really pretty on stage y/n” her confession made you chuckle slightly “thanks you’re pretty too I noticed you mumbling along to our lyrics but I didn’t mind” she looked at you with wide eyes as she laughed leaning her head against your shoulder her heart was beating fast..or was that yours it didn’t matter but you could tell she was nervous.

You cupped her face placing a gentle kiss on her pointy nose “you’re so fucking pretty doll face wanna’ kiss you all over” she smiled at the compliment before leaning forward and planting a kiss on your lips, you cupped the back of her head deepening the kiss her soft whimpers were muffled as she clawed at your shirt, you pulled her by her hips on your lap she moaned feeling your dick harden under her, before the kiss could get anymore intimate your band mate Luna yelled your name before telling you time was up, you groaned loudly placing Karina back on the sofa “sorry doll face maybe another Time yeah” you sat up trying to hide your bulge before walking with Luna back to the car.

Karina sat on the sofa horny and upset before she could even get her mind focused Giselle pulled her up “we gotta go winter threw up on a random girl while dancing…seems like she won’t be able to make it to school tomorrow” Giselle started to realize karinas disheveled state “you got laid??” A smile formed on her lips “almost..” Karina began to start to walk out the club with Giselle beside her “really?? Before me but with who??” Her questions started to give Karina a migraine but she still answered “the guitarist uhh y/n” Giselles eyes widen as she stopped in the middle of the parking lot “you’re serious?? What that’s wow-“ she couldn’t form sentences but she was happy for Karina if it was true “yeah we were making out then a girl came in and said her time was up and her manager was waiting” Karina sighed opening the door of the passenger seat and then flopping in the car, she glanced back seeing a sleeping winter and ningning on her phone “I’ve never seen her this wasted” Ning said still looking at her phone “well she’ll obvious gonna miss school tomorrow so I’ll just try to get her classes and cover them that’s if we have the same ones” the 3 nodded as Giselle drove back to their dorm apartment..

Parking the car near the elevator Giselle carried winter on her back as ning pressed the button for the top floor, the walk down the hall seemed long to their tipsy bodies as they walked to their room their neighbors door was wide open the trio gave each other looks before walking into their apartment before showering and heading to bed…

THE NEXT DAY

Karina sat up in bed stretching her limbs before putting on her slippers she walked to the bathroom brushing her teeth then doing her morning skincare she picked up her phone cheeks the time “7:57” her screams seemed like they could be heard blocks away “fuck I’m gonna be late” she quickly pulled out a simple outfit she knew the bell rung at 8:10 and after that you’d have to get a slip to access the building she checked the other rooms seeing Giselle and ningning gone but winter was still asleep she groaned grabbing her backpack and her dorm keycard before rushing out the door, as she locked it from the outside she noticed a familiar looking guitar on the ground and her neighbors door still open she heard their footsteps walking closer to the door but who see seen walk out was beyond her belief but before she could speak up you did “hey doll face long time no see how you been” the way you spoke made it seem like you were childhood friends, s’not like you and her weren’t practically gonna have sex in a public club but Karina didn’t get upset she just waved….

Prologue

[soratonin]

if otoya hit on me i'm pepper spraying him idc if he barely did anything but speak, he's getting that shit in his pupil-less eyes for Staring

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Gov and IDC sibling headcanons for our souls :)

-They are both twins, tho IDC is older by like- 3 minutes. And you bet that she teases him and call him her baby brother.

-Who I ship Gov with changes a lot, it goes from FlouiGov, to the Main 6, to GovLoui.

-with IDC, I’m torn between IDC x Hawaii, IDC x Satanic Temple, or IDC x Satanic Temple x Hawaii.

-Gov is 6’1, and IDC is 5’5, yet IDC picks Gov up at the most random times to embarrass him (hehe the simple duties of being a big sister 🙃)

-Gov sometimes accidentally calls IDC "Itsy" cuz that’s what he used to call her when they were little since he couldn’t say her name (I saw this HC somewhere on Wattpad, and I ran a friggin’ marathon with it-). IDC thinks it’s absolutely adorable tho.

-I’m just gonna say that IDC is pretty damn muscular :3 (yes I like muscular women shut up-)

-IDC talked for Gov a lot when they were little cuz he was a very shy and anxious child. And he’s autistic.

-IDC has not fully forgiven PA for the way he treated her brother growing up, but she is happy that he is at least starting to try and be a better father towards Gov.

-IDC 100% mourns the time that she was taller than Gov. It was like- one day he was the one that needed help getting stuff from tall places (and she would always help), and then the next day: boom. ✨beanpole✨

-Gov has definitely been dragged out of his office and away from his work by IDC several times. She’s just being a good big sister and making sure that her brother is taking care of himself and making sure that they have plenty of time to hang out.

-IDC just sits in Gov’s office back at the White House and watches Gov work when she has free time. She has seen quite a few of his subtle mental breakdowns and always tries convincing him to maybe take a break. The last straw was when it was 11pm and she knew that Gov had been nonstop working for the past 2 days. He got up to shakily pour himself another cup of coffee and then accidentally signed an important document with a pink sparkly gel pen.

-IDC was the popular girl in school and Gov was the nerd/quiet kid that followed her around like a lost kicked puppy. And she also beat up anybody that said anything bad to her.

-Gov has gifted multiple tasers, pepper spray things, pocket knives, and even handguns to IDC to protect herself with. She insists that she’s fine and doesn’t need them, but Gov still insists that she take them with her when she goes out alone. And she thinks that it’s honestly adorable. After all, it would be fun to randomly whip out a taser when she’s getting bothered by random creepy men at the White House 👍✨

[cherryheavenblog]

important safety tips for women who love the night + party life

Transportation |

if you know that you’re going to be getting drunk or under the influence of anything, don’t take your car. and if someone else is driving you, still, always have a backup plan. download a ride sharing app like uber, lyft, etc. and load the account with $100.

ALSO, when you create the account never use your actual name. use a name like “brock” “brad”, etc. the most masculine sounding, pretentious name possible. this is to avoid trafficking or getting hurt honestly.

For the profile picture, use this website called thispersondoesnotexist.com it’s an AI website that creates fake images, so these people aren’t real. Use this as your pfp and keep refreshing till you find a man.

This is so when you’re under the influence, everything is already set up and is ready at the click of a button. if the person asks anything, say “oh he’s my husband.” they will be LESS likely to harass you if they know a man is paying for your ride, they will not fuck with you.

Emergency bag |

you need to be carrying around the essentials in case of emergencies. you need an extra pair of underwear, pads/tampons, socks, hair ties, pepper spray or any self defense items, mini body sprays, and deodorant. your bag should be medium sized. never go small.

NEVER set your bag down unless you’re with people you really trust and you know that nobody is going to go inside. if you’re going to unfamiliar area’s, keep it attached to your hip idc. and ALWAYS carry at least $50 cash with you, and your bank account should have at least $100.

ALWAYS carry pepper spray, lipstick tasers, anything that will help you defend yourself. and NEVER trust any man that you meet. if he asks for ur number give him a fake one, if you download textnow it gives you free phone numbers. never give out your instagram either.

People |

You need to know and understand your limits when it comes to drugs and alcohol so u can control yourself when you’re in a crowd. If you know you’re a lightweight then don’t be drinking 8 shots and a truly. People take advantage of drunk girls, and alcohol erases memories.

If a guy is being overly nice and touchy to you be wary of that, and try to find a friend. if you sense yourself getting friskier grab a bottle of water. never ever lose control. keep your mind right.

Read books like the art of seduction and the 48 laws of human nature + power to understand the psychology of people. this is important because when you get into public settings you have a mental guide of who people truly are. always be smart and aware period.

If a guy is being creepy, find a random group of girls and act overly excited and start talking to them as if they’re your friends. literally any random woman will understand.

[msookyspooky]

I almost pissed myself at ch 20 😭😭😭😭 I was screaming at my phone 'RUN, RUN, RUUUUN!' when she sprayed Billy with the pepper spray. I can't believe she had to lock herself in the bathroom bc of Stu 😭 and that Stu took the keys so she couldn't leave. He KNEW he was trapping her. When I realized she could only call one man....😭🥺 I was terrified that Mark would get killed by Billy if he didn't step on that gas pedal. Mark's my hero idc. Plz just save me 🥲 Mark hold me plz.

Imma just sit in Kincaid's lap the rest of the night thank you very much!

Stu's temper and his sociopathic tendency when he doesn't get his way was hinted heavily in Scream and in this series and we finally saw it. I mean everyone is on edge with no sleep, everyone being a suspect, the killer getting bolder and now Gale having Stu's file (If it isn't the consequences of ur actions 🙃)

And Billy is livid. Like, I'm praying for us rn

[living-dead-parker]

Grocery Store Antics - Dad!Tony

Summary: Tony takes his kids to the grocery store

Warnings: cussing, probs ooc, nebula was adopted by Tony idc idc idc, tony in a dad outfit just picture it plz, not super funny but i tried 

Part of a new collection I plan on starting called Tony Stark and his kids.

Word Count: 1.8k

"We need some hot links, hot dog buns, some chicken, drinks, and some desert," Pepper says out loud before turning to look at May who is making the list. May gives her a thumbs up, completing the shopping list. Among it includes bug spray, pool noodles, and tons of ice cream. All of it completely necessary.

The heat is returning once again, and while not super hot, it's warm enough for a barbeque and swimming in the lake. Tony insisted on grilling and making a day out of it. He has his dad outfit on; a pair of khaki cargo shorts, random SI shirt, and his dad sandals. He has on a bucket hat, of all accessories, and some sunglasses with the lanyard strap on it. Peter insisted Tony wears the ensemble, making him look like the ultimate dad. You're not sure how Peter convinced him to do it, but maybe he's finally accepting that he's becoming an old man. Either way, you're shocked because you remember being 14 and hearing your dad claim that you'd never catch him dead in a pair of cargo shorts and a bucket hat.

"Someone go with me to the store!" Tony exclaims, hearing feet running down the hall. In seconds, all the kids come tumbling in. Morgan up front, Peter next to her. You stand behind Peter and Nebula behind Morgan. Tony rubs at his temple before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Dad move!" you yell, causing Peter to giggle. Tony looks up, beginning to regret any of this. Now his children are gonna bully him? It's like the Avengers all over again.

"What store are we going to?" Peter asks, walking over to May and grabbing the list from her.

"Not sure, but let's get going while May and Pep set up. Rhodey should be here in a bit, so we should get going."

With that, you lead the way out, followed by Morgan, Nebula, then Peter. Tony walks behind everyone, closing behind him. You sit in the passenger seat of the Audi SUV, connecting your phone once the car is on. Peter sits behind you, Morgan in the middle in her car seat, and Nebula behind dad. Tony pulls out of the driveway, heading off towards the city. Taking over the music, you start by playing some RHCP, to which both you and Tony sing to.

The drive wasn't too long, but it wasn't super quick either, having to drive a good twenty minutes to reach the nearest grocery store. You played some classics, singing along as loud as you could with your father. Every once in a while, the two of you would glance over at each other, smiles as wide as rivers and oceans. Tony would take in the sight of his first born, the pride and joy he's felt overpowering anything. Getting you back was probably the biggest event in his life. You, on the other hand, seeing the old man makes you feel nostalgic. He's been through so much and you owe it all to him. He's always been so selfless with you, even if things were bumpy at times. Cheesy as it may sound, he's your soul mate and you're his soulmate.

"Alright," Tony says once the car comes to a stop in the parking lot of the grocery store. "No lollygagging, in and out. Hear me?"

"You got it, sir."

Peter runs off and grabs a cart from the parking lot collector things. He returns to you all, moving over to your side. Tony picks up Morgan and puts her in the small seat on the top basket. He turns and sees Nebula eyeing the cart, never having done it before. It's quite adorable, actually. She's been getting used to more human things. Shopping malls, movie theaters, parks, and watching TV. For now, Tony and Pepper are letting her be a kid, seeing that she didn't get much of that. They're letting her experience the good stuff in life. All the ice cream, the fun parties, and bounce houses, cool music, and television. All of it.

So Tony chuckles as he nods his head to the bigger basket. "Get in, ya big dope," he jokes. A full belly laugh comes out when Nebula gets in excitedly, squealing as she sits down in the cart. You giggles, taking a quick picture of her in the cart. Having a blue alien sister is cool, except for when it's not. The only times it's not is when you see people staring at her like some kind of monster. It tends to happen a lot in public, much like at this very moment. There's a couple staring harshly while their kids ask about the 'cool blue lady'.

"What are you looking at?" you call out, causing Tony and Peter to pause in their steps. Your group all look over at the people on the other side, meanwhile Nebula looks down shamefully. Sometimes, she refuses to go out for that reason. People tend to ruin the moment. "She's cool and helped save the world, so a thank you is in order instead of staring at her like she's a monster."

The couple turns away and walks faster, almost running away. You flip them the bird when they look over their shoulders, but ultimately they speed walk away all the way. Tony chuckles, lightly clapping your shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. They're not worth the stress," Tony says looking at you and then at Nebula.

"Let's just go inside and get what we need," you mutter softly, calming down from the moment.

Upon entering the store, things went downhill. Morgan was beginning to get antsy, so Tony put her down so she could walk. The first thing you all got was the dry food items. From there, you went to other non-perishable items or things that did not need to be refrigerated just yet. Before getting the meat and cake, you all happened to walk into the aisle with toys and pool supplies.

"Dad!" you exclaim, grabbing an already inflated whale floatie with black handles on it. "We need him!"

Tony sighs, pointing at the basket nonetheless. You giggle villainously and throw the floatie into the pool. Peter grabs a couple of pool noodles, Morgan grabbing three boxes of donut floaties, three mattress floaties. Behind Tony's back, you and Peter sneak in two boxes into the cart while Tony answers his phone. When he turns around, he has five super soakers in his hands.

"So, change of plans. Steve, Nat, Sam, and Bucky are going to be joining us for some food and a swim."

"So we ambush them with water guns?" Nebula asks. Her voice sounds almost menacing. It's awesome.

"Morgan, you take Nat. She won't attack. Peter, Y/N, Neb," Tony continues, looking at the three of you. "You take Sam and Bucky. I'll get Steve. That sound good?"

"Sounds better than good," you respond excitedly. Tony chucks the soakers into the cart, grabbing the handle and pushing it. There are still so many more things to buy, and the first cart is already running out of space. Even without Nebula in it. So Tony sends you and Peter to get a new cart.

The two of you do just that, grabbing a new cart and racing back inside. However, when he hears the distant sound of singing, he knows it's you. As the words to My Heart Will Go On fill Tony's ears, he sighs. Not a minute later, you're rounding the corner into the aisle that Tony is in, revealing Peter kneeling at the end of the cart with his arms spread as if he was in the king of the world scene in Titanic. Tony sighs, assuming his signature Tired Dad™ stance; head down, temple rub, pinching bridge of nose.

"Onward, trustee sea captain!" Peter exclaims. Tony flips the kid off, pushing the cart out of the aisle and into a new one.

"Dad," Morgan says excitedly as the group approaches the produce section. Tony turns to see his little girl with an orange in her hand. "Orange you glad I'm the normal one?"

Tony chuckles, shaking his head but approving of the joke nonetheless. However, you approach with your hands behind your back. You look at the little girl before squatting down to her level. You pull one hand forward, revealing an avocado.

"Avocadon't go there," you start. You proceed to reveal a squash in your other hand. "Before I squash you," you continue, pulling out your phone and showing your screen to reveal a google image search of baby goats. "Kid."

The beginning probably wouldn't have been funny, but Tony finds himself busting a guy at the preparedness and the commitment to the joke. How you had that ready, he'll never know, but he doesn't want to. He likes the mystery.

"Tony," Peter comes up, holding his hand out to reveal an orange in his hand. "Orange you gla-"

"Morgan beat you to it," you say, looking around a grabbing a bag off one of the nearest stands. It seemed to be all so conveniently placed. Tony's impressed. A bag of peas. "Pea-ter."

Peter is stunned into a silence. First Morgan steals his pun but now he gets punned right back. Not even by Morgan. He feels bamboozled. Peter looks around and grabs a small bag of beans just a few feet away from the group.

"I feel so bean-boozled."

"How do I do it with all of you kids?" Tony asks as he begins pushing one of the carts away.

"Should have kept your legs closed," Nebula cuts in, causing you to burst into laughter.

"She got you, dad."

"It doesn't even work like that-" Tony cuts himself off with a playful sigh. "Plus two of you aren't my creation, so," Tony mutters, not sure what to say next.

The rest of the grocery trip was spent making dumb puns, mispronouncing any and everything. It also involved bugging Tony as much as possible. There's one thing all four of you enjoy doing, and it's bugging Tony. Who doesn't enjoy bugging their dad?

"Morgan, say cupcakes are for basic bitches," you encourage the girl. Tony turns to look at you two as Peter and Nebula continue looking for some kind of desert to feed everyone. You suggested cake, but dad keeps saying no.

"Morgan if you say it I will tell mommy-"

"I'll have Peter make you a web swing!" you bargain.

Morgan nods, watching as you pull your phone out. You open your camera and begin recording.

"Daddy," Morgan begins, smirking as Tony begins shaking his head. "Cupcakes are for basic bitches,"

Suddenly, Peter and Nebula burst into laughter at the young girl's words. At that point, Tony calls it a day. They've been at the store for about an hour, things are running behind. So Tony heads to check out, pay for everything. Damn near has a heart attack at the price, despite the fact that he's a literal billionaire.

"500 dollars? How?"

He looks over the receipt and sighs when he sees what cost him almost three hundred dollars and something that cost him 70.

"A raft lounge for almost 300 and an inflatable pool seesaw for 70? Wow. Bamboozled by my own kids."

[zaxal]

001 - Good Omens?

ty for enabling me,

Favorite character: crowley, but aziraphale is right on his heels. some days, it’s the other way around.

Least Favorite character: shadwell. like. the way he talks to madame tracy makes me angry bc i know too many old, entitled, white men who like to police women every way they can.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): aziraphale/crowley (otp), newton/anethema (newt 👏 is 👏 trans 👏), newton/crowley (one-sided, newt is like oh my god who is that snacc but then crowley speaks and newt is immediately like, never mind), gabriel/aziraphale and/or gabriel/crowley (Look. i literally do not have an excuse for myself. i’m trash. powerful angel bullying scrappy little human-lovers and either getting his ass kicked or ruining their lives is appealing to the part of me that enjoys the catharsis of suffering.)

Character I find most attractive: crowley. disaster demon (ft. extreme sub energy) is extremely My Type.

Character I would marry: anethema. i can’t get in the way of the ineffable husbands, and have you SEEN our girl? 

Character I would be best friends with: aziraphale. we can be absolute bitches together

a random thought: love how hellfire + holy water are recurring themes for the angel who wields a flaming sword and the demon with the spray bottle.

An unpopular opinion: apparently unpopular in some circles to say that crowley/aziraphale as a queerplatonic or ace couple are valid readings, so i’m here to scream that people can enjoy them however they want, see below answer:

My Canon OTP: crowley/aziraphale babey!!! idc if they’re platonic, romantic, sexual, but they are vital to one another, and they belong together.

My Non-canon OTP: crowley/aziraphale/michael (the good place). i have no excuses. michael’s starstruck by crowley because of all the stuff crowley’s allegedly done for hell before realizing that NO THIS IS BAD and he tries to protect His Family only to be talked down by a literal angel who wouldn’t condemn… any of team cockroach to hell. he likes them and michael preens bc those are HIS HUMANS.

Most Badass Character: aziraphale! i mean, angels falling might not be common in modern day, but it still took a backbone of steel to see the angels waiting for him to join the army and just go ‘lol nah’ and leave.

Most Epic Villain: in the book, i’m really fond of the four horsemen. the introduction of gabriel in the tv show just knocked me off my feet tho.

Pairing I am not a fan of: shadwell/madam tracy. it’s not her job to mother him or be kind to him while he’s the Worst to her. also like. any pairing among the Them. they’re kids. they saved the world. that’s gonna be a stronger bond than ‘oh in the future pepper is dating adam’ or something like hard pass.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): hm i feel like there wasn’t a hellish counterpart to gabriel that made it really feel like ‘oh hell is personally bad’ beyond it being… hell. i appreciate the demons we did get to see! but i feel like having one stand out as a counterpart to gabriel would have been really nice and another point about how there’s really no great difference between sides.

Favourite Friendship: i feel like saying crowley and aziraphale would be annoying at this point, so newton and anethema. yeah i know they get romo and shit, but i love a friendship where one person has no clue what the fuck is going on while the other is leading them around by the hand bc they Care.

Character I most identify with: crowley,, i’m also a disaster queer who is doing their Best which is just not very good.

Character I wish I could be: aziraphale. i want WINGS and the unshakable confidence that someone somewhere knows what the fuck is going on and everything is going according to plan.

[ichorandpride]

oh my god tell us please

hsgsghsgs ok fine. keep in mind that i live in hick redneck rural northern ontario so the party was literally in the middle of the bush behind an old farm. we had a bonfire, booze, and everything. it was pretty fun. canadian hicks lmao.

anyways eventually the cops came from what i assume was either a noise complaint or a fire report and three things ended up happening:

the cops kinda stalked around in the bushes first before deciding to make their move.

one of the other native dudes who was there with us joked about his Native Senses(TM) to have fun with the White Kids (its hilarious how much you can make white people believe that you have Special Senses just because you’re native lmao).

said native dude stopped, turned around, saw the cops in the bush somehow, and screamed “COPS COPS SCATTER SCATTER!!!!!”

And we did. We all scattered like a bunch of roaches being disturbed from a meal when the exterminator comes. Cops didn’t really know what to do and neither did I. I have a real bad fucking fight vs flight thing where most of the time I choose fight.

Yeaaaaaaaah big mistake these were two 6 foot+ tall white male cops who were probably 300 lbs of pure beef each and both had weapons. And I’m a 5′9″ 260 lb beefy native american with street fighting skills listen it’s a rough patch of Ontario we literally fight each other for fun out here who was actively sizing them up like a fucking cat with two very strong and overgrown rats.

So everyone but me ran and I mean two cops against 30+ teens scattering into the forest like something from Children Of The Corn... they didnt stand a chance catching us all but because I stayed behind, they kinda focused on me. Until I realized that me staying was a Mistake(TM) and that I should run. So I run and they do the classic “FREEZE STOP RUNNING” and I manage to jump over a wooden fence I may have bailed and landed straight on my face like an idiot.

They hop the fence too like they’re fit as fuck and just jump over that thing like it was nothin like they must have been working for the CG effects crew for Assassins Creed or some bullshit thats how easily they scaled it. I try to get up, they pepper spray me (not directly in the face but it was like against my neck and on my chest thankfully).

Lemme tell you what pepper spray does to you when you’re a slightly drunk and very aggressive native american with a very high pain tolerance let alone the fact that they missed your face and just hit your neck/chest with it: it just makes you angry and cough lots. I was a fucking raging choking asshole to them and i managed to bite the one who was on top of me in the nose pretty good before they tried to get the cuffs on me. That cop falls back on his ass like an idiot after I kicked him a few times in the nuts.

Other dude gets out his tazor. Now this tazor was the fucking old ass box style tazor that would shoot metal prongs that embed into your skin and then electrocute you in bursts of a few seconds before it recharges and then hits you again if the person presses the button to. Even I in my not-quite-in-the-face pepper spray rage could withstand a shock from one of these things.

But luckily for me it only lasted for a few seconds and i went down hard. I landed on my own hands and it was very dark for the cops so they couldnt really see what they were doing so when the shock stopped i may have booted one of them wherever i could hit (i think i hit him in the gut/solar plexus and then the face because he went down hard and wheezed a lot). Other cop who i had recently sacked recovered and attempted to pepper spray me again.

It was really dark so idk what happened but he ended up coughing so I’m pretty sure that The Wind betrayed him. It blew back into his face and just made him go down coughing and wheezing. Stupidest pair of white assholes I have ever seen. They couldn’t even take down a person who was smaller than them and who got injured multiple times.

So I ran then and got my ass out of there as fast as I could and eventually I made it back home sound but not really safe. The tazor box was still stuck to me and I had ran all the way home with this thing dragging behind me and I never noticed it until I got home. Adrenaline rushes are a bitch.

in the amount of time it took me to remove the prongs, i accidentally tazed myself when i tried to remove them from the box instead of my skin when my hand slipped (i admit i was a bit wary to even touch the prongs in my skin because i have a Thing with puncture wounds and issues dealing with stuff being under the flesh shghshh)

went down hard, eventually just sucked it up and ripped them from my skin (turns out my hoodie spared me having to deal with them going in too far), took a nap, and idc if you think this is a fake story because my dudes i had to go to the hospital afterwards for three days due to reoccurring convulsions that i thought were seizures as well as an infection that the prongs left in my side (not fun) so i think i know what i went through

[thejamesoldier]

Opia

Hi everyone! So this is part one of the ABO Verse fic I promised to post. I finally got around to writing it and voila! Let me know what you think pretty please? It’s kinda short but every first chapter is right? xxx 

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: The a/b/o verse where Hydra fucked with Bucky’s hormones and temporarily made him a Beta (because they take orders better) as the Winter Soldier, but now that he’s safe at Stark Tower, Tony hires Y/n to help re-orientate him back to his natural-born rank as Alpha.

Tags: Angst, fluff, smut (duh), and everything else I can’t remember right now lol

Tagged Lovlies: @softforseb, @mrtinslydia, @wine-and-space-donuts, @aislinsekhem, @creideamhgradochas (lemme know if you wanna be tagged x)

(oh and I did this lazy crappy last minute minimalist cover, but I would love if you guys submitted your own covers :) Sexy, angsty, whatever you want idc but I’d love to see some!!! You guys are way better at graphics than I am lol)

                                                     Prologue 

Opia n. the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel                                      simultaneously invasive and vulnerable

Chapter 1 - Who the Fuck is That?

Silence reigns over the group. 

Tony cockily lifts his chin a tick, the scent wafting from his neck boasts that he’s proud of himself. 

“Why couldn’t you have just gotten him a kitten?” Steve mutters into the calloused flesh of his large hands that are currently cradling his face. 

A specific type of exhaustion strains Rogers’ voice (hint: it’s not the sleep-deprived kind) as Bucky, standing beside him, goes ram-rod straight, body stiff, pulled to full height…erect. Bucky’s eyes widen so much it’s like they’re preparing to pop right out of his skull.

You blink owlishly at the entirety of the Avengers standing in a haphazard circle around you, just as shocked and profoundly confused as they are.

“Tony, that’s a person.” Natasha states point blank after a couple beats, before her nostrils flare and her Alpha nose scents something else that’s equally, if not more, alarming, “Tony that’s an omega.” 

Everyone cranks their gazes slowly away from you and back to Tony. ‘EXPLAIN’ is the silent word that’s unanimously yelled at Stark. 

He does an insecure little shoulder roll before clearing his throat,

“When I was – whenever I was, you know…lost I always had Pepper,” Tony begins like he’s reading the opening hook line to an epic story (A quiet ‘here we fucking go’ sounds from Clint). “My Pepper, she never let me down, not once. She’s honestly the only person on this entire planet, and quite possibly in this universe, that I truly trust my entire self to.” Tony pauses and quickly eyes everyone in the room, “No offense. But anyway she can handle it, me, she can handle me and all my baggage and hold me up, hold up all my weight when I need to lean on her. Metaphorically speaking of course, although I shouldn’t cast judgement upon the subject since I don’t know for sure if she could physically hold up all my dead weight, Pep probably can, actually she’s damn strong–,”

“Tony!” Natasha interrupts, voice tight and impatient as she flashes a quick analyzing side glance at you before returning her attention back to Tony.

“Right,” Stark huffs as he gets himself back on track and re-focuses his gaze on Bucky who suspiciously, purposefully, is avoiding looking at Tony or you or anyone for that matter. He seems quite fascinated with the plating on his metal arm at the moment. “In short, I got Barnes his very own Pepper Potts…but sorta in reverse. You know because Pep is my alpha and I’m the omega and Bucky is an alpha and this woman here is –” 

A fierce growl interrupts Tony’s tangent. Everyone’s eyes snap back to you. 

Your teeth are bared with fury, your hands are balled by your stiff sides, and your brows dig low into the sharp glare of your gaze.

“I. Am. Not. An. Animal. To. Be. Sold.” You punctuate each sizzling word with a snarl, staring mostly at Tony but everyone receives your message loud and clear none the less.   

Tony Stark (you scent him expertly: Omega, wild sage, unburnt coal, tang of molten iron; highly intelligent according to the complexities of his scent layers) looks genuinely confused before narrowing his eyes challengingly against your glare.

“Didn’t you respond to the ad I put up looking for a caretaker with the natural-born rank of Omega?” 

You freeze, remembering the ad and that you did submit a resume, but not remembering seeing anything about Tony Stark or association with the Avengers for that matter.  

“Yes but–,”

“Who specializes in Alpha current duty, ex-military, or veteran patients?”

“Yes! Bu–,”

“Equipped for severe PTSD episodes?”

“Yes b–,”

“Has a Harvard Masters Degree in Scenting?”

“Yes–,”

“Another Masters from Harvard on The Science of Bonding?”

“Ye–,”    

“Trained to help Alpha Re-Orientation?”

“Y–,”

“Certified in The Rut Rehabilitation Program?”

You practically shriek the growl you let out to get Stark to shut the fuck up. Damn this rich know-it-all asshole. I mean he went and memorized your entire resume…who fucking does that?

After Tony goes silent with this infuriatingly knowing smirk slapped on his stupidly groomed face, you take a steadying breath. Everyone had been watching you two speak, their eyes jumping back and forth from each Omega. 

“As I was trying to say,” You shake your head a little, letting the hair around your neck stir your scent into the air making it stronger for the others to smell, making your presence known – demanding respect and attention. “There was no mention of your name Mr. Stark, or who the patient was.”

“Why does it matter who the patient is?” Steve Rogers (you scent him too: Alpha, rainwashed lilies, old red city brick, dewy firewood ash; revealed as one of the most fiercely loyal alphas you’ve ever encountered as other people’s scents [especially the man with the metal arm] is bonded so deeply with his own) suddenly interrupts, sounding extremely defensive. 

You observe the Captain’s body posture with finessed skill, quickly gathering that what he’s defensive of is the man with the metal arm standing beside him. Quickly you turn your attention to the patient in question. 

When your eyes land on Bucky, something within him clicks. Maybe its the way you’re looking at him - evaluating, sizing up – or maybe its your scent, but whatever it is it makes that oddly familiar but uncomfortably foreign Alpha instinct kick in. James stretches and arches his neck subtly like a prancing stallion, parading the now visible steady beat of his heart pulsing against the thin skin connecting his neck and shoulder. In effect showcasing the unmarked skin canvas where the bond bite goes…

Bucky’s stance is wide and low and strong and completely inexorable, like not even the sun’s gravity could uproot him. His arms and shoulders are not held but simply energized and rolled back to highlight the blatant plane of proud muscle bloating his chest. He gently shakes his head to seem like he’s trying to get his bangs out of his eyes, but really the intention is more like that of a male lion showing off his mane. Bucky’s long dark hair tousles over the horizon of his shoulders, allowing for his scent to scatter and permeate the air thickly and temporarily override any other smell. 

It takes Bucky longer than it should to realize what he’s doing, and in his gap of clarity you take in all of him that’s being shown to you – sight and scent– and you instinctually respond right back. 

You formally present yourself to James Barnes. 

You arch the low curve of your back, winking you behind at Bucky and showing off the sensual dip right above your ass. You work your body with such practice, so prettily. Bucky can’t help but take a silent breath in when he realizes you’re not done yet. You push your chest out in a subtle but obvious way – coy like, and unlike most omegas who drop their chin and gaze down from the superior stare of an alpha, you lift your chin higher, teeth clenching tight to show off the shape of your jaw, and eyes ablaze with sure challenge. You may be presenting yourself, but you sure as hell weren’t submitting. There is a huge difference that the media likes to make interchangeable. 

No one has been able to claim you, meaning you haven’t accepted anyone’s courtship yet. “You are too powerful for an omega” or “You’re too much to handle” they all say. Sometimes people even mistook you for an alpha, which always made you laugh like a loon. So not only did you present to Sergeant Barnes, but you sized up this alpha ballsy enough to declare himself formally to you. The pretty ones were always the weakest you had found, so you made the mistake of grossly underestimating Bucky. You thought he was way too goddamn handsome to be your equal, he would bow (or more like stomp and pout like the others have) out of your courtship within the day. Wrapping up the exchange you drag your amused and judging eyes up and down Bucky’s offered picture once more before looking away from him and back to Tony. 

“Oh I’m not going anywhere near him.” You state professionally unapologetic, with your arms crossed and your chin still raised high to match your single lifted, unimpressed eyebrow.  

Steve Rogers’ protesting mouth hangs open and Bucky has the audacity to look cautiously offended.

“Well why the fuck not?” Stark accuses you suddenly, quickly defending the alpha’s honor interestingly before Captain Rogers could cut in. 

Your nostrils flare as you take a calculating whiff of the offending alpha: James’ natural scent is heavy but hidden well and undetectable under a spray of thick confusion, crippling heart ache, self-loathing, fear, fury, guilt, and every negative emotion that the human heart is capable of feeling; like the smell of fresh summer fruit suffocated by the chemical blanket of pesticides. 

“He smells like death yet he is not physically dying, he is suffering by invisible hands but mostly by his own, I can barely register his rank as Alpha…” Your diagnosis trails off as you watch doom shade over Barnes’ face and he caves in on himself, hiding in the great shadow of Rogers beside him. You shake your head with finality, “No, I dare not get any closer.” 

“So what they say about an omega’s enhanced sense of smell is true?” You look at the man they call Sam (You scent him as: Beta, crisp Madagascar vanilla, green pine needles, what you imagine a cloud tastes like; he is impeccably compassionate as proven by the scent signatures of his friends worn proudly on his skin), noticing how he is trying to deflect all the attention off of James and onto something else. 

“Some omegas are more gifted at the art of scenting than others, yes,” You confirm for the informed and observant Beta giving him an acknowledging nod, a swift but genuine dip of your chin, before continuing, “And I went to school for years to study it, so…”

Sam catches your subtle sign of respect with a bit of surprise but quickly returns the gesture by nodding back. 

“So you’re one of the gifted ones are you?” Tony remarks bluntly with no awe and very little humor in his tone. 

You almost crack a smile at how much you seem to threaten Tony now that you are showing yourself to be a more dominant omega. Of course him being the only omega surrounded by not just multiple enhanced Betas, but many super human alphas, naturally Tony would be over protective if not a little (a lot) possessive of his friends-family-nestmates-pack. The overwhelming evidence of this intangible familial intimacy (you picked up on everyone’s mixed and complimenting scent signatures the second you walked in) pollutes the very air you breathe. The aggression of his pheromones practically attacking your nose wasn’t offensive to you, it was actually rather touching. 

Society likes to boast that the Alphas are the ones that get all possessive and over protective, and while that can be true most of the time they have it backwards. Alphas tend to display their aggression or displeasure very bluntly, while omegas are more manipulate and crafty about it. It’s the omegas that you really need to watch out for.

You square off to the powerful omega and only raise an eyebrow at him. Despite his very unsubtle impatience with you, you can’t help but respect the Stark for his deep and undying love for everyone in the room. 

How lucky they all are to have each other, to be apart of such a large strong pack, you think while quickly editing yourself internally to make sure no one picked up on your slight shift of attention and thought process through your scent. You doubt anyone here could possibly catch that kind of scent signature, but the red head agent Natasha (Scented as: Alpha, burnt cinnamon, bitter green apple, crushed jasmine, pheromone levels reveal her to be of peak fitness – lethal – top of the food chain, Apex Alpha) is staring at you like she is learning the inner workings of your soul so you best over estimate just to be safe. 

 “So you decline the job?” Captain Rogers barks short tempered at you, still highly defensive of Barnes. You don’t take offense to it at all. You scented that the pair of them shared a bond that went deeper and was thicker than blood.  

You flick your gaze back to his bold protective blue one, squaring your shoulders off and meeting him straight on as your eyebrows lower in confusion. 

“I didn’t say that.” 

“You said you wouldn’t dare go anywhere near him.” Steve says icily like he’d very much like to take Bucky and leave. His survival instincts on high alert. Huh, maybe when you finish helping Barnes, Rogers should be your next client because even as an Alpha, he shouldn’t be emitting this amount of survival pheromones in a room full of friends and one stranger. 

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help him,” You explain simply to not just Rogers but Barnes and Stark and everyone present. “It’ll be a process, and I can’t guarantee anything because it’s really up to Mr. Barnes, but I can pledge to do my best to help.” 

There’s a few beats of silence as you scan everyone, scenting them and matching that smell with names as you go –

Clint: Beta, the vague smell of feathers, mint leaves, fresh churned butter

Wanda: Alpha, what you imagine stardust to smell like, ripe cherries, the taste of copper

Vision: Alpha, no defined smell other than Vibranium and strangely a hint of paprika

Thor: Alpha, the unplaceable aroma of freshly pounded metal (although you can’t determine which kind), upturned soil, and ozone

Bruce: Beta, old black ink, zing of something potently chemical, and wild grass

“I have papers for you to sign, prices to discuss, and living quarters to grant,” Tony suddenly booms, promptly interrupting your systematic scan, as he comes up to you and whips out a glass slate that lights up when he touches it. 

You take one last meaningful glance at Bucky who (is he blushing?) blatantly is avoiding everyone’s gaze by staring at his boots, him and Steve curled into each other like two worn magnets, before following Stark out of the foyer. 

Part Two

YAHTZEE! Okay lemme know what y’all think xx

[malewifewwx]

My brother went out for a jog at 1am last night and left a sticky note basically saying "if im not back by 2 call the cops lol" and im just supposed to be??? Chill with that????????

[hideandseaking]

On the finale of Nikky’s World of Darkness Murder Mystery Campaign:

“so what do you guys want to do for your next big campaign?” “honestly, i want something with a serious plot” “...is killing 3 different people not serious enough for you??”

"last time on world of darkness: dan took 2 1/2 hours to figure out who the killer is” “he also learned what the plural of blueberry is!” [insert dan screaming in the background]

the undercover detective with 2 HP left tried to pick a fight with a teenager over a briefcase

“how do i know i should let you have the briefcase” “well, im a cop” “prove it” “uh well i don’t have my badge on me right now... but you can ask your brother, he knows that im a cop” “my brother is 12 and gullible. one time i told him that salmon was made out of swedish fish to make him eat it” “...okay you have a point there”

then the detective went around giving his final goodbyes to everyone before he went to confront the murderer

“i’m going to die, rati” “oh well then i’ll watch die hard in your honor”

meanwhile one of my players stabbed the other right in the heart

somehow she survived by running into the elevator and escaping

then the drug dealer player patched her up solely because he wanted to dissect her but ultimately decided to just help her and they both immediately fell asleep after the stitching and patching

the player trying to kill the other drank poisoned wine but threw it up immediately afterwards so all my efforts to kill him went to waste

“i know that you’re a cop, tanner” “i know that you killed tate, miro”

“so you believe that killing people is the answer to stopping environmental destruction?” “well... what’s a few people now to stop it when the alternate is that we all die in 60 years because of those few people?” “...he has a point...”

the boss fight between the detective and the murderer resulted in lots of knives being thrown but none of them hitting

and then the detective essentially killed himself by using pepper spray and inflicting damage on himself which caused him to pass out on the bathroom floor and then getting shot in the head by the murderer

the detective became a ghost and went around talking to everyone but complained that he didn’t get any “cool ghost powers”

he also decided he’s going to make an afterlife boy band with michael jackson, prince, and aaron carter

the drug dealer and the player trying to murder were arrested and put in a police car together and bickered the whole way to the police station because the murderer wanted to sleep on the drug dealer’s shoulder

the player that got stabbed in the heart recovered and made amends with her worst enemy NPC from the campaign... 8 in-game months later

“can i read the card he gave me with the gift basket?” “yea sure... in it is 4 tickets for a 2 week cruise to europe and a card that just says ‘thank you’“ “wow he couldn’t write anything more?”

“what if they got together down the road” “yea if you want to idc-” “no nevermind i dont want that” “Okay then they don’t fdgjdf”

in the end, one of my players died, two got arrested, and the other one walked away with a job at an international company

“okay so for the exp... what did we learn today?”

“i learned that i want to be a healer”

“i learned that being a ghost is really cool!”

“i learned that im invincible and can survive anything”

“i learned that if you want to kill someone, you need to finish the job...”

needless to say it was a fun campaign

[amayatheking]

Unpopular opinion: IDC about gun control really

like if you want a gun keep it at your house for protection or whatever- but open carry is scary and that is why I suffer living in an expensive state like Cali where open carry is not allowed. I once went to Virginia to visit family that lived there and I was at a laundry mat just doing my own thign and a man with a gun walks in and does his thing. He wasn’t threatening me and I wasn’t threatening him but I felt so afraid I stayed close to my family Idk if that guy could snap or not.

also someone like me, who has a sever history of crippling depression and has been diagnosed and medically treated with therapy, outpatient programs, and medication should NEVER be allowed to purchase a fire arm like wtf. I could go to any guns tore and get one within 24 hours- no background check or anything.

My perception of reality is fucking terrible and I barley trust myself with the pepper spray I carry in my purse like

Idk gun control for the mentally ill like myself and maybe open carry isn’t a thing because who is to say that guy in the laundry mat with the gun in that “ghetto” neighborhood doing his laundry wasn’t there to do something else besides wash cloths.

I know the world isn’t black and white- and he didn’t mean harm probably, but I’m not to big to admit I was terrified, and it’s even more terrifying to know I can be a gun owner in less than 24 hours.

(This post is a thing because of what happened in LV and because I am thinking about Orlando again- and what it really means to be mentally ill and gay and all of those things. I’m not looking for an argument I am just so tired)