#he's so funny you have no clue. great dynamic with the rest of the party

[mars-ipan]

ignore what time it is. i got bit by the doodle bug. this is a dnd character i'm currently playing in a cyberpunk villian campaign. his name is cal he's a half-elf warlock (bastard nepo baby whose dad hates him (but shhh he doesn't know that)). also he sucks

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 135

1. The M9 eventually find a way to catch up with Lucien and Cree before they are able to go to the astral sea and at least start the combat (Bonus: Cree gets a wild magic effect that gives M9 some advantage or laughs).

Doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen. Well, I’m still personally REALLY happy that they all decided to explore a little bit much and ended up with combat lol. I love the heavy lore dump, reveals, map and the Aeorian nullifier/others combat, all part of the D&D fun.

2. Caleb and Beau somehow don’t get any extra eyes from their dreams (look, let me have some hope alright, last episode was kinda open-ended).

Noooo not on the clavicle and the palm... These stupid eyes are the reason why the empire siblings rolled bad rolls first thing in the morning, I’m telling you.

3. People on watch in the dome have some one-on-one conversations (Yasha and Fjord are doing the first watch, looking forward to it, also hoping for whoever on the second watch to talk).

Nope :( I’m a bit sad that they just kind of time skipped to the morning but it’s understandable.

4. If the empire siblings do get eyes can we at least have a morning eye check routine and Essek’s reaction to it? (Bonus: Essek examines the eye and offers help in some way)

I mean, we got part of a nice conversation about the eye so that counts as a reaction right. Essek is very wary about it, understandably. Don’t worry Essek, Fjord will take care of it if the eyes turn them evil. 

5. More wild magic effects from casting in Aeor! Jester, Essek, Caleb, Caduceus, Veth and Fjord I’m looking at y’all. (Bonus: the effects are harmless and fun ones, like Bjald)

OH NO CALEB not first thing in the morning... wow never mind it’s a nice nostalgic smell! Apple tart, how awesome. I mean a lot of people used higher level magic and didn’t roll yet (or maybe they did we just don’t know)? This particular effect was harmless and fun tho. 

6. They explore the Aeorian ruins even more along the way and discover cool relics/labs/history and lore (Bonus: clues related to the Eyes of Nine).

Ayyy genesis ward looks like a fun place, thanks to their high investigation rolls we found so much sweet lore. They also went into underground city ruins and basically wizard paradise lol. AND A BOOK ON THE SOMNOVEM! This is the first clue we have found so far. Also, Factorum Mollis project/Creator Hammer? Athodan’s rejuvenation/dunamancy? The plot thickens. THEY FOUND WHERE THEY NEED TO GO! B9!

7. Beau and Yasha have fun with some shameless PDA OR alternatively they get some super private time (bonus: cuddles in the dome).

I love their morning flirting. “That was amazing babe”, “Jump I’ll catch you!”, “Come here baby”, that’s some shameless PDA right there we love to see it. ALSO, Marisha said “we are doing PDA it’s a thing” and I feel so validated right now.

8. Jester and Fjord heal each other at least one time OR have a deep conversation (bonus: Jester complimenting Bjald).

They didn’t heal each other/converse BUT they had some nice moments! Fjord holds Jester’s ankles and waist at her request, how cute!

9. Continuing to hope for Essek’s fancy dunamantic spells OR magical items (I just love his style and flair okay).

OG Fortune’s Favour!! Thanks Essek. Identifying the keycard was also helpful. Essek giving Veth a pearl and telling her to aim it was so funny lol. LEVEL 4 LIGHTNING BOLT? What spell/item is that? Wow Essk is well-equipped.

10. They talk seriously OR laugh together about Bjald/smooth Fjord (Bonus: Veth disses Bjald just because) but Fjord eventually gets his hair back.

Wow straight out of the gate lol, Veth doesn’t wait (they are seriously expending spell slots for this). Also Veth cannot stop trying to grab his illusory hair. She also tells Devexian that Fjord is not a robot despite him not having hair I can’t even- Also, rejuvenation tube gave Bjald hair back and a long rest, great! 

11. Continuing to hope for Caleb to polymorph into anything really, or using polymorph on any party member (polymorph! Caleb interactions my beloved).

Sparrow! Caleb my beloved! “I’m adorable” indeed, he totally is adorable. Landing on Jester, Fjord and Charlie must have been fun.

12. More moments of Essek’s trust issue (OR changes in his opinion) with Charlie and more moments of Charlie being helpful to the party.

Charlie was a very competent translator! Also, Essek does continue to have a lot of trust issues. 

13. Jester and Charlie cute interactions OR Veth and Charlie interactions (Bonus: They reach the genesis ward to fix Charlie).

Charlie stopped listening when Jester asked him to, how cute! Veth also advocated for Charlie’s repair because she is already 100% attached - and they did fix Charlie I MEAN DEVEXIAN. Veth’s flirting with Devexian is... kinda cute? I guess?? Not sure how Devexian feels about it lol.

14. Cad attempting to speak with the dead on the remaining TT members (there is still Otis and Zoran right) and learning some useful information.

Well, speak with the dead was cast on the dead Aeorian warrior and some useful information was learned about the rejuvenation chamber I’d say. It was not cast on the TT members though. 

15. Caleb casting fire spell challenge! I miss his signature fire magic that we have not seen in a long time, actually (Bonus: Essek is impressed).

Well fire bolt is a fire spell and actually does decent damage for a fire bolt.

16. Cad has a particularly badass moment in or out of combat (bonus: divine intervention success).

HOLY THAT BANISHMENT WAS SO BADASS, also that canceled nat 20 on Yasha. Wow Cad continues to be cool in battles, he is such a MVP!!

17. Veth has a particularly badass moment in or out of combat (bonus: HDYWTDT).

I mean all Veth’s sneak attacks are badass in my book.

18. The wizards nerd out about/investigate Aeorian magic together OR have another conversation (look, I love how they talk to each other okay).

WOW both happened! Essek stayed behind with Caleb in the record room and had a conversation to keep him on track. Right after, Caleb also reminded Essek of the same thing. Once again, I love how they talk to each other. Their dynamic is so fascinating. They also nerd out about/found dunamis (and a literal beacon piece) together in that chamber! That would make sense, time magic = rejuvenation and all that.

19. I know this is highly unlikely but I still kinda want to see the tower again with Essek getting a full tour! I want to see his room decor.

Nope, as expected lol. I don’t think we will see the tower until they deal with Lucien? We will see though, you never know.

20. We find out what exactly Capeleb/Caleb saw when Jester was casting commune/scry (it’s totally something Artagan-related, but what though?).

Nope, but it’s fine. It’s probably not urgent, otherwise Caleb would mention it.

21. Yasha pushes another red button and Beau enabling her out of love.

Yasha went “do it” as Fjord went in the tube lol so she was more of an enabler.

22. You know the drill by now - everyone remains relatively happy and alive by the end of the episode except Lucien and Cree (they can perish), and the episode ends on a terrifying cliffhanger as always.

Wow that episode was PACKED with so much information, I can’t even digest it all. Anyways, the score this time is  14/22, which is not bad at all. 

Bonus: 

Caleb shared half of his pearls with Essek! Also, wow that IS a beacon that they just found. The 3 magic users showboating each other at the end I can’t lmao I love them.

I just love all the noises of the Aeorian Nullifier, thank you Matt.

Jester, for that wand of smiles move, I love you even more (also she was the only one who actually tried to keep the party on task lol).

This episode will certainly need some re-watching to process all the information... but wow what an experience! Loving everything, as always. I cannot wait for next Thursday!

[mousehole5000]

 this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.”  - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.”  - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and  everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

[rekkingcrew]

Campaign Debrief

So for nearly 2 years I ran an Edge of the Empire campaign with 3-4 players, mostly weekly. These last couple of months we’ve been using discord, which has gone great. I want to get down some of my thoughts about what worked and what didn’t. 

This is gonna be a big wall of text and all but two bits are gonna be under the cut: system and play style. 

Fantasy Flight Star Wars game system is legit my favorite system EVER. (Not to dick wave or anything, but that’s including D&Ds 2-5, Gurps, White Wolf, Blades in the Dark, Dungeon World, Deadlands, and a few miscellaneous other short form ones). The system of advantages and disadvantages, and especially triumphs and despairs rather than just straight successes and failures really opens up complex narrative opportunities and gives a chance for wild story beats that just would not have happened otherwise. The fights go fast but feel meaty and there’s a lot of room to pitch advantages to your friends so you’re not just waiting your turn. Character creation is granular enough that your choices always feel meaningful, and points can be spent anywhere, so you can really specialize and shape your character. 

We played very collaboratively and it made things AMAZING. Part of this is that we were all good friends and have played together for a while now. Our taste in what kind of story we want is similar- nuggets of drama scattered throughout, but mostly cutting up. A lot of the best NPCs and story suggestions came from my players rather than from me- our season one boss villain, Imperial spymaster “Uncle” Karston Severax, a pantoran ex-special forces black operative whose current public face was a Mr. Rogers-esque children’s TV presenter, for example, was someone my players started out and all of us collective “yes and” added to around the table, and he was JUST THE BEST. These kind of exchanges also gave us moments like the time our tech tried to blackmail the head of a security corporation with the fact that he was having an affair and he’d written just LOADS of incredibly cringey fanfiction; but the roll was such that the attempt ended with him finally getting the push he needed to quit a job he hated, get out of a marriage that just wasn’t working, and follow his dream of self-publishing. He even dedicated his first book to our slicer. Because it wasn’t a DM vs Players atmosphere, because we were all on the same page, I could ask my players “hey, what do you want for your triumph?” and “all right, so who is the NPC you know?” as well as just “that’s enough to finish this guy, what does this look like?” This campaign was 1000% better for sharing that world building load, and the players were all, I think, more invested. 

more below the cut. 

What Worked

One of the most useful things I ever did was start giving players morality pet NPCs that were their special hench people, and I’m embarrassed that I waited so long to assign one to our droid. 

The zero session was absolutely invaluable in setting the tone of the game and the relationship between characters, and I will bang this drum until I’m fucking blue in the face. Don’t meet in the first session. Sit the players down and say “how do you know each other, why do you stay together, what are some of your past adventures?” It’s just so much better. 

Cameos and ties to our other games, in what we’ve been calling “The Drax Kreiger Expanded Universe” have continued to be welcome pretty much every time. People were delighted to have a moment or two to slip back into old characters. 

I was able to identify what each player wanted and give them that. Brick’s player wanted quiet scenes with big character emotion, like his one on one pit fight the character didn’t want to have, or the letter from his mother telling him how proud she was of him, or the time in training where he tapped into how angry he really was and it spooked the character and everyone on the ship. Nyla’s player wanted a big epic, but also difficult space journey of good vs. evil, and so Nyla got a padawan whose parents she had possibly killed when she fought for the empire, she dug up the grave of her clone teacher’s order 66′d jedi for the crystal for her lightsaber, she got to cleanse a temple that was trapped in a fruitless struggle between light and dark, and a climactic lightsaber battle that was about possibly sacrificing herself for the good of others. TK’s player was deep into star wars trivia and space stuff, so he practically squealed when Verpine shatter weapons showed up, and he seemed to get a kick out of the Evocii, and also that time they put on wing suits and dove the atmosphere of a gas giant. It’s worth noting nobody was actually all that interested in the thing that turns my gears: complex mysteries with a lot of clues and investigation, and once I let that shit drop, things ran a lot smoother. 

Some of our best stuff was non-combat challenges, like climbing the cliffs of Naboo or navigating the deep undercity of Nar Shadaa. The guys reliably failed anything social, but environmental challenges were always appreciated. 

I always tried to make sure there was more than one way to do things. For any given mission, especially early on, I’d try to brainstorm at least three ways something could be accomplished. 

My party split up a LOT, but we found a sort of cinematic cutting back and forth to be really useful. When there was a big crit, or a goal accomplished, or something like that, we’d jump to the other party even if the fight wasn’t over. Sometimes that was only just, like, Brick and the guys doing drunk karaoke and saying to no one in particular “MAN, I hope Nyla’s having as fun a time as we are!” but it kept everyone involved and it wasn’t just people waiting their turn for 20 minutes at a time. Also people chimed in with fun advantages and disadvantages. 

I had everybody write backstories and whenever I could, I incorporated in things from what they’d written. Our second season was basically TK tracking down the guy who’d made him, a Thackwash alien with the same sort of shifting personalities he had. TK’s player hadn’t written much about the guy except that he’d been a salvage mechanic who constructed TK for protection when he got in trouble with the local mafia. Giving that guy complementary personalities for each of TK’s really helped stick the landing on that one, and the player really enjoyed having actually completed his character’s goal. 

It’s worth saying, we took some time at several points during the campaign, either individually or as a group, to talk about what we liked and didn’t, what we wanted more of, where we wanted things to go, possible directions for characters, mechanical issues, how to have a better game, group dynamics, all sorts of stuff. In a way it’s like sex: people have this fucked up expectation that you’ll just be good at it without communicating, and man, fuck that. Talking to my players was ALWAYS worthwhile.

I was always adamant, because it was a thing that bugged me when I was a player, that if a character had spent the points to be good at something, they got to be good at it. That made some things difficult, but I think it was the right decision. It took me a while to tailor fights right, and honestly a lot of times, splitting up the party was the best way to balance fights, but I never said to anyone hey that thing you spent all those points on, could you please not do that?

My players were excellent about encouraging each other to have serious dramatic moments. TK was completely ready to die in a fight, and when he lost a significant chunk of his programming, the way he chose to play it was really heartbreaking. Everyone came inside and had tea with Brick’s mom. No one stepped on anyone else’s fun when it was time to be serious, and everybody was great about cheering each other on, whether they were being funny or being dead serious. 

I FUCKING FINISHED A CAMPAIGN. IT HAD AN END. So much stuff petered out over the years, I was adamant I wasn’t going to do that. 

What Didn’t Work

Boy, my players had pretty much all the trouble trying to remember to use “they/them” pronouns for NPCs with neutral or alien genders. 

No one is interested in falling damage. Sigh. 

I did not keep good track of money or ship fuel or anything. The campaign didn’t end up relying on it too heavily (I was honestly expecting a much more Cowboy Bebop setup than where we drifted), but that was an area I kind of fell down. 

We never really got obligation working correctly and in the end we just ended up abandoning it. We kept doing the force morality because the lone force player was very into it and it was a huge part of that character’s journey, but for the rest having people show up to collect on obligation was sometimes not possible in the story- or if it was possible it was pretty cumbersome. Campaign did obligation by arc, and I think that’s a pretty useful way to do it- roll at the end of the arc for what’s coming next. 

Early on, I made way too many assumptions about what was an adventure hook for my players and what was an annoyance. Honestly, bits of this lasted pretty late. At one point I gave my players a spy for the larger rebellion they could totally talk to- he was even working with their resident bothan spy- but they looked at the senatorial assassination he was doing and literally said at the table “I think it’s best if we just walk away from all this.” And so they did. Which was frustrating, but, you know, it is what it is. They also never much cared about the hutt gang war. 

I let a lot of things drop that I would have liked to bring back before the end, but in all honesty, I think we were all running a bit out of steam. I would have liked to put in Brick’s old mentor, or follow up with the imperial governor that was a falleen in a human skin suit, or see more of the bounty hunter’s guild, or have a nice end thing with our bothan spy, or any of that. But I do think it was time to end it. And we followed the threads people liked. 

I had way too many NPCS.

What sort of worked

I had like 200 npcs and they were not all bangers. In particular, I let the party design their own ship, which I wish had played a bigger role (though it did really set the tone), and I let them design 2 npc crew who would fill in any party roles they didn’t want to play and guard the ship so they could go on adventures without worrying about it. The devaronian scoundrel was with the party to the end though I never really got him to be more than a joke, but the bothan spy kind of fell off, and while she made some appearances, she didn’t really have as big an impact as I would have hoped. She kind of got replaced by Nyla’s padawan, a hench mon calamari called Nezrene, who was a better fit with the party. But, you know, players will do what they like.

Factions. In the first bit of the campaign, my factions were a fucking life saver, because I could design scenarios with a sort of “what is each faction doing/ which faction hurts from this, which benefits?” By the second season we’d kind of abandoned them to go to the core, and by the third my group was solidly rebel, so the hutts and bounty hunters fell a lot by the wayside. I still think having a couple of broad poles of power, and having the players know them and their leaders, is a good call. But they do seem to kind of organically pare down on their own, and it’s easy to get caught up too much in them. Useful sorta?

There was definitely a point where my players just were not challenged by conventional challenges. We ended up doing most of the later fights that involved a lot of minions in montage. I’d have them roll their fight skills unopposed, just to see if they got any interesting advantage/triumph set ups. I still had boss fights that were mostly challenging, but there just was no point in throwing storm troopers or low level gangsters at them. Not when they have soak 8 and autofire, and that one talent that lets you kill every minion in a combat. Designings fight got a bit tricky, and in those big high level combats, despairs and triumphs come up a lot more and really sway the fight, which I like, but also it’s very hard to plan for. 

Mass combat was tricky. I did a lot of it toward the end because my players were generals in a rebellion. I always had them do the rolls and some of the narration, but that wasn’t always enough to make them feel like things weren’t very arbitrary. 

I personally love the rule that if you roll a despair shooting into an engaged combat you shoot your friend. Nyla, who got shot twice this way, does not. 

We started the game with a tech character who dropped out. Toward the end, we picked up another tech character whose player couldn’t do their regular stuff because of covid lock down. Neither of these characters could fight at all, and both were very differently oriented than the rest of the party, and that was tricky to manage. Additionally, the dude coming in at the end had like a year and a half of in jokes he did not get and there were 200 goddamn npcs. I tried to give him the lowdown on what he might have heard about the party, but it was a combination of too much information and not that much player interest. He did get to break a star destroyer though, and I think he liked that. 

I offered players XP to write backstory stuff, and later goodbye notes others could find if they kicked it. Not all of them did. In the end it made a negligible difference, and I still think offering the bounties on this is basically a good idea. 

What I would do different next time.

Three ring binder that opens and closes so I could move fucking NPC stats around. I filled two goddamn school notebooks with notes for this campaign and there were so many goddamn times I was like “I KNOW I wrote this down, but where?!”

Players felt a bit aimless when they didn’t have a specific villain. I’d planted a few in, but they took finding, or they were too easy to avoid. Next time I would have a few more people who were actively on my player’s tails. 

I would keep better campaign notes and/or ask one of the players to do so. I used to do recaps for the games when I played Rek. There’s stuff I KNOW I’ve forgotten, and more I’ll forget as time goes on, which is a shame. It’s a weird, ephemeral medium, but possibly I’m just spoiled by living in an age of easy reproduction and enormous storage where data is concerned. 

Better book keeping in general, really. 

When I did a mystery short, I wrote up a list of all the clues people could find but not where specifically they were, so that I could just jam them anywhere they seemed like they’d make sense whenever a roll called for a player to find something. I think I’d try to do that with player’s personal stories so they could be woven in a little better. I did a lot of flying by the seat of my pants. 

All in all, I’m pretty happy with how it went, and I’m ready to get back to playing for a bit. I loved DMing, and I more or less DMed the game I would have liked to play, but man, doing this all the time, or being the only person who does it? After a while, that’d be a lot, and I’m looking forward to the break. 

[nellie-elizabeth]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Manhunter/Captain Kim (7x01/02)

This really should be split into two different reviews, but I am lazy so here we are. Let's dive in!

Cons:

The first episode this week featured a subplot where Amy thought she might be pregnant. I know it's just a one-off thing in terms of episode composition, but it bothered me that in the premiere of the season, Rosa and Amy's plot thread was them standing around and talking about pregnancy. They didn't really have much else to do, which was a bummer and a slightly weak opening for these two characters.

Terry had the least to do of any character, in both of these episodes. In the first, he's paranoid that other people are talking about him, and in the second, he's talking up his daughters to someone involved in a good school he wants to get them into, and then avoiding a caterer who he thinks is trying to poison him for putting him in prison years ago. Even this slightly more exciting plot thread didn't really provide much for him to do. This is just the start of the season; I'm sure he'll have plenty in the coming weeks... but I thought I'd point it out!

The first episode, "Manhunter," started with the news that there was an attempted assassination, but despite the supposedly high stakes, the whole thing devolves into a story about Holt and Jake finding a new balance after Holt's demotion. That's a lovely story to tell, but it kind of sucked the urgency out of the whole "assassination" thing.

Pros:

I absolutely loved the guest character Debbie, Holt's partner now that he's a beat cop for a year. She was so funny - I loved that she was totally content and indeed relieved to be given pointless tasks, and relegated to "cone duty." Her whole story kept unfolding as the episode went on, in absurd and funny moments. After spending time with this bubbly and slightly incompetent woman, who's obsessed with a pedometer app, she suddenly declares that the reason she became a cop was to find her twin sister's killer... and later randomly lets everyone know that it's her birthday. She was hilarious and kind of relatable too. I'll admit there have been times at work when I too would be okay with being given unimportant tasks instead of anything too urgent!

I also really liked the Jake and Holt dynamic in this first episode, as Jake of course respects and loves Holt, but at the same time, doesn't want him stealing his thunder on this case. It's awkward to suddenly be the "boss" of your former Captain, and I think they play with that tension very well. Especially the conclusion, wherein Holt is right about the case for the most part, but Jake and the others still have to come in and save the day. Holt then apologizes for disrespecting Jake's authority, while Jake acknowledges that it's going to be a little strange to get used to their new situation. That was a good balance, wherein both men were able to communicate openly!

Despite wishing Rosa and Amy had maybe a little bit more to do, I did enjoy the beginning of the "Jake and Amy start a family" story-line. A pregnancy scare leads Amy and Jake to contemplate whether it might be time to start trying for real, and they decide that it is. I liked this because it shows real growth for both characters. Amy, the meticulous planner, is willing to let her schedule fall by the wayside and start letting things happen as they may. And Jake, who has been afraid of being a father, doesn't have a relapse or freak out at the thought of Amy becoming pregnant. I love this adorable couple and want the best for them!

The second episode I found to be stronger than the first. A new captain has shown up, and Jake and Holt are both suspicious of Captain Kim. They think she must be working to bring them down from the inside. While the rest of the precinct is taken in by Kim's kindness and the effort she takes to get to know them, Holt and Jake refuse to be swayed. They hunt for clues at a party Kim throws at her house, and end up releasing her pet dog from a locked room, which causes chaos. Turns out, Kim did actually have good intentions. She wanted to be a captain at the Nine-Nine because Holt is her hero, overcoming so much to become captain. In the end, though, she realizes she'll always feel like an interloper, and decides to leave. Because of Jake and Holt's meddling, they've lost a great captain who was planning on stepping gracefully away at the end of the year to let Holt come back!

I was really glad there wasn't some twist with Kim, that she really was a good person who just wanted to get to know them and work with them. Of course, that wouldn't bring very much drama moving forward, so now we're going to have to see what comes next for the precinct!

While the first episode had Holt and Jake at odds, the second episode had them teaming up to investigate Kim, each having their own reasons for suspecting her. I love the two of them as scene partners; they work so well playing opposite each other, and also being allies. They rile each other up in the best ways. I think my favorite Holt moment was when he's seeking motivation for being drunk and destructive at the party, and lists a few possibilities - a fight with Kevin, something happening to Cheddar, and then lands on a scenario wherein he's been demoted and he feels rejected and abandoned by his chosen family... he and Jake agree that this last scenario seems like a good idea!

My favorite comedic exchange actually goes to Jake and Amy though, right towards the end. As Jake recounts his step-daddy issues, he recalls that the two separate men who dated and cheated on his mother had been limo drivers. The following exchange takes place:

Jake: "*gasp*! The problem is with limo drivers!"

Amy: "Babe, it's not."

Jake: "It's not?"

Amy: "No."

Jake: "Okay thanks, I love you."

It's just such a casual, familiar little routine. Jake gets a wild idea, Amy calmly rejects Jake's premise, and Jake, who trusts Amy's gut more than his own, thanks her for keeping him in check. Their dynamic is the best!

Boyle had funny subplots in both episodes. In the first, he decides to be Jake's sidekick on the case. While Jake is the "Manhunter," Boyle is the "Boyhunter." This obviously leads to hilarity, as he continually says things that sound oh so wrong. I just find it so charming how Boyle is okay with being the sidekick, and how he actually thrives in that role. He's the best.

The second episode hangs a lampshade on Boyle's "sidekick" status, however, having him gain confidence by wearing Rosa's leather jacket. He becomes a new "cooler" version of himself - Chuck Boyle. He has confidence with the ladies, struts around, and ends up calling Jake out on an unintentionally inappropriate comment, instead of the other way around. It's a fun switcharoo, and the resolution is lovely too. Boyle sacrifices his jacket to an insecure husband worried that his wife is going to leave him, and instantly his power is stripped from him, and he reverts to normal Charles. It's all silliness, but I really enjoyed it all the same. Boyle steps in to some more confident shoes, as it were, but he's not unhappy with the person he really is at the end of the day. (He does probably regret missing out on the chance to meet Sutton Foster, though... that made me laugh!)

There's more I could talk about here, but the first two episodes were pretty strong as they were! Some characters had less to do than others, especially Rosa and Terry. But I'm sure there will be chances further down the line for them to shine as well!

8/10

[lokisgame]

Just As Friends [3]

[part 1] [part 2]

Sweet dreams are made of this… The crowd moved in waves as music hammered its' way through the house, liquor creating a link, tuning them all to one wavelength. If Mulder cocked his head just right, stroboscope lights encoded the scene into discrete images, mesmerising, when studied one frame at a time. Every now and then, he caught a glance from one of the girls on the dance floor, their smiles haunting in the pale blue light, demonic. He didn't mind the noise, screaming three times louder than his thoughts, pushing out the world behind a wall of sound. He sipped his lukewarm beer and watched harpies on the dance floor, smile their ghoulish smiles. Marcus left him the moment they went through the door, following some scent that would lead him to getting laid, because of course, him and Phoebe didn't last. Still, to his credit, he didn't try to woo Scully back. Mulder didn't mind being alone, he leaned against the wall, hidden in the shadows until the beer was gone, giving him reason to move on.

Pushing his way through another crowd, one of frat-boys gathered around the keg, a tiny pixie appeared in his way, seemingly out of thin air. He lifted his cup high, careful not to spill the drink. "Whoo there," he chuckled, steadying the girl. Her shoulder bumped into his chest, free hand landing on the small of her back, making her turn and look up. "Scully?" "Mulder!" She beamed, all wide eyes and red lipstick. "What are you doing here?" They spoke in unison then laughed. Someone else bumped against Mulder, pushing them aside, so with arm around her waist, he drew her into his side, guiding them few steps away. "Marcus insisted!" Trying to speak above the noise, he leaned closer to her ear, catching a whiff of perfume, something sweet but unassuming. "I didn't think you do parties!" "What?" Noise destroyed purpose of full sentences. "You, party, don't add!" She repeated, laughing into his ear, and once their eyes met again, he saw them slightly reddened, catching a trace of something else on her hair. Lifting her chin with one finger, he looked closer and grinned, instant understanding skipping between them. "Scully?!" She smirked and took the beer out of his hand, taking a sip, not letting go off his waist as she did. She wasn't a fan of warm beer either. Her face twisted in distaste, giving it back quickly. The arm around him tightened and she jerked her chin towards a small group a little away. He nodded and she took his hand, pulling him through the drunken mob. "Got your drink?" A tall, curly haired, girl smiled at Scully, eyeing Mulder curiously. "It's crazy! You might think it's the last keg on earth!" She replied, keeping his hand in hers. "This is Mulder! Mulder, meet Ellen, my roommate." "Hi," he smiled at the girl, who nodded back. Her smiling eyes saying, that she knew exactly who he was. "And this is Kevin and Andy." One named Kevin smiled, reaching to shake Mulder's hand, as did the other man, only scowling, his grip loose and unpleasant. Mulder grinned, reading the scene in an instant, from Kevin letting go of Ellen's hand, to slump of Andy's shoulders and his ice cold stare. He wasn't sorry, though he had to let go of Scully's hand to unpack this dynamic. "Let's get out of here!" Scully said, her fingers finding his again. "Outside?" Kevin asked Ellen, who nodded, grabbing her own drink from the counter behind them, then nudged Andy, who shook his head, frowning. Kevin shrugged, "suit yourself." Scully didn't notice, already charting a path to the patio door on the other side of the floor. Slight tug sent Mulder's feet moving, staying close enough to make his space hers, as she guided them through the crowd.

"Let's stay here," Ellen said, sitting on the steps leading to the yard. No one bothered to put away the garden furniture, so now all the easy chairs and picnic tables were taken by groups of students hanging out, smoking and drinking, listening to the music that blared from speakers inside. Mulder's ears rang a little as he sat next to Scully, who plopped down beside Ellen. Kevin leaned on the railing, surveying the grounds. "I can hear my thoughts again," Mulder said, making everyone laugh a little. "Now that's a handy superpower," Scully chuckled, pulling her jacket a little tighter around herself. "For a psychologist, I mean." "Oh God, no, please." "Tonight, I think you'd be safe around here," said Kevin, swaying theatrically before sliding down, to sit at Ellen's feet. "The campus jester is here," she joked, catching him and pushing back, before he fell over her completely. "Mindless fun is my game," he said, leaning on the banister, unperturbed. "Right Dana?" "What?" Scully made a face as if she didn't understand plain English, which they all found hysterical. "You study medicine too?" Mulder asked Kevin, who kept playing with his lighter, flicking it open and closed, time and time again. "No, I'm the jester, these two are the smart people," he joked, waving at the girls. "Engineering." "Which makes him the dumb one," Ellen said, her tone one of exasperation. "The ruff-neck," Scully added, as if they rehearsed the argument. "I just fix stuff, I don't save lives." "But you could fix the stuff, that would let them save lives." Mulder said, siding with the girls, counting himself amongst the technologically handicapped. "Well, if you put it this way," Kevin said, pausing in his fidget to look at the flame for a minute. "Finally, he agreed with someone!" Ellen laughed, throwing her hands in the air. "He's been saying no to everything, all night." Scully explained in a stage whisper then turned to Kevin. "Are we done with the argument clinic?" "No we aren't." He said, laughing, flipping the lighter shut again. "Yes-we-are!" Scully growled, raising her voice and stressing each word, trying to project authority which was of no use, except for making everyone, including her, laugh. "I give up, you're hopeless," she sighed, scooting closer and sneaking one hand under Mulder's arm. "You cold?" "A little," she admitted, but stopped him, when he tried to shrug out of his jacket. "You mind?" He shook his head and she shooed him away with a gesture then sat between his thighs, back against his front. Mulder drew her closer, arms and jacket around her, as if they could share it, if his chin could just rest on her shoulder. "Better?" He asked, oblivious to the curious stares. "Much better." She smiled, making herself a little more comfortable, business as usual. "So, Mulder," Kevin said, producing a very impressive joint out of his jacket pocket, "my doctor friend told me a great way to let go of my anger." Mulder chuckled, watching as he lit it and took a long drag, holding the smoke in his lungs. "Which is?" He prompted after a minute. "Write letters to people who make me pissed and then burn them," he said, a plume of smoke hanging around them, before he passed the joint to Ellen, "but I have a followup question." "Shoot." Mulder said. Scully reached, Ellen obliged. "Should I keep the letters?" Kevin asked and they all burst into hysterics. Whitney Houston swirled from the house and he hauled himself to his feet, dragging Ellen along. "I wanna dance with somebody!!" He intoned, surprisingly on key, twirling her back towards the house, leaving Mulder and Scully alone, with Mary Jane for company. "I like him," Mulder said quietly, watching the smoke swirl around Scully's hand. "He is the court jester." She giggled, offering the joint between two fingers. Their fingertips brushed, hers cold as usual. "Are they together?" "I hope so," she said as he took a long drag, keeping the smoke in as long as possible. "Even if he's too good for her." "How so?" He had to stifle the cough. "He tells you he's the dumb one, but he's first in his class, has a corporate scholarship from some huge company in Silicone Valley, since freshman year. He's pretty brilliant, and funny and easy to be around, if you can handle the occasional gallows humour." "So, what's the problem?" "She doesn't take him seriously," Scully sighed, nestling deeper into his arms, smile in her voice as she took the cigarette back. "You have to take care of the good ones." Mulder's head filled with scent of her apple shampoo and cannabis, mixed with just enough of bitterness of the beer, to keep him grounded in reality, the memory real, not just some fever dream. She was one of the good ones, too. "C'mon," she said, after downing the last of beer he offered. "I wanna show you something." "Show me what?" He whined, but let go, only to take her outstretched hand. "You'll see!"

They stumbled through a dark park, lights of the house fading behind them as they stayed on the path. Every other lantern was out, and if they weren't drunk or together, neither one would be comfortable with the other being here alone at this hour. It was probably one of the last warm nights of this Autumn, and soon winter chills would take over for good. Moon shined bright through a gap in he clouds, keeping the shadows at bay, mere vague shapes, bursting occasional giggles as they passed. This was a night for sweet whispers and promises. Mulder held on to her hand, needle to his compass, his captain, him just a drunken sailor. Autumn leaves rusted beneath their feet, filling the air with the scent of rot and decay of the best kind, one that brought life in an everlasting circle of seasons come and gone. "Any clues?" He laughed, pulling her hand to slow down. She did, sparing him a glance over one shoulder. "Just over that shrubbery." And, true to her words, a small playground appeared from the shadows. It was run down little setup, no one cared about the sandbox or the merry-go-around. The only thing that seemed vaguely useable, was a set of swings, two seats hanging from chains, rusting but not hazardously so, yet at least. Mulder didn't know when they left campus grounds, and it was his first time in these parts, but Scully went ahead, straight for the swings and sat on one. Pushing back as fas as possible, she let go, letting her weight supply the momentum. "C'mon!" She giggled, kicking her legs on the way up. "Mulder!" He went to take the other seat, careful not to cross her arc, but sitting down, his knees were almost at his chin. "My legs are too long," "Don't be a baby," she laughed, teasing, swinging higher still. "I'm not, that's the problem," he chuckled, but drew the swing back and let go, folding his legs under the seat, as he did a million times before. The ground didn't rush, more like flowed beneath him in a flat arc, his weight giving little, without proper balance. Kevin would probably quote laws of physics, explaining why and how it worked, but Mulder knew only that his legs were too long to drag him forward, catching on ground the moment he wanted to shift to gain speed. By then, Scully was swinging high up, back and forth with grace of a circus artist, laughing every time she got to go even a little higher. Rush of air played with her hair, carefully coifed locks turning into a wild and carefree mess. Unable to join, he enjoyed watching her fly, maybe not as high as a kite, but definitely free as a bird. She was a sight for sore eyes. It didn't take long for her to notice, he didn't join her fun. Using her body to slow down, she steadied the horizon, putting the stars and the tree line back where they belonged. Mulder swayed gently, sitting crookedly on the seat and watching her slow and halt. "You like this place?" He asked, the moment she stopped, looking up. "I come here when I need to cool off," she said, panting slightly, "or when school becomes too much." "You really know how to walk on the wild side," he chuckled. "Hey, I'm not judging you or your swimming habits." Scully countered, bristling for a second, before she noticed him smile. "I did go skinny dipping one summer, one the Vineyard." "Just once?" "Have you seen Jaws? I'd rather avoid any… extra splash." He said the last part, glancing at his pants and she doubled over, laughing, hands gripping the chains. "I was fifteen," he kept going, feeding her fit, "I worried about that stuff." "Oh dear," she sighed, wiping tears from her face. "It was filmed on Martha's Vineyard too, the movie." "Yeah?" "I used to ride my bike to the Menemsha Bight, to watch the crew." "Did you see the shark?" "I did, it was huge, Spielberg too." "Spielberg was huge?" "No, just the shark," he said, but she was laughing again, they both laughed. "What year was it?" "74," he said, calming a little. "After your sister disappeared," Scully said, giggles fading fast. "I," swinging back and forth, Mulder avoided her gaze, "it gave me something else to think about that summer. Every kid on the island was excited, and even as unhappy as I was, I couldn't stay away, or rather, it gave a reason to stay away, from home." "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Don't be," clearing his throat, he looked up, smiling again, "I met Steven Spielberg, got an autograph and everything." "Did you like him?" "You kidding? I wanted to be him!" Scully laughed, and her voice had the power, to chase his demons away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey girlfriend," Ellen sat on the edge of her bed with a cup of coffee in hand, "I'm starting to worry about your virtue." "My virtue?" Scully brushed hair out of her face and scooted back a little, making room. "Yeah, it's good to see you sleeping in your own bed for a change." "You're exaggerating," she snorted, "I sleep here all the time." "Dana, you sleep at that guy's place more often than I sleep at my boyfriend's." "Mulder isn't my boyfriend." "No? Then who is he?" "He's a friend," Scully said, stretching. "You sure he thinks that?" "Why?" Scully noticed the cup, a paper cup instead of her usual mug. "Because he's waiting outside," Ellen grinned, leaving the cup on the nightstand. "For you." She got up, and left. A second later, Mulder peeked into the room. "Hey, may I?" "Sure, come in." All she had time to do, was sit up and pull the sheet up high, pillow propped against the wall. With his own cup of coffee, he leaned on the wall beside her. "What brings you here this early?" "Nothing, just thought I'd stop by and say hi." "Alright" He kind of slipped down, making her giggle when his head landed in her lap. She combed the strands down, watching his eyes fall shut. "I have to leave for a while," he said, a little sad. "Something happened?" "My mom is in the hospital." "I'm sorry," she sighed, resting one hand on his chest. "Is it serious?" "I don't know, my dad isn't the forthcoming type." "You want me to come with you?" The words were out before she realised, what she was saying. Mulder glanced at her, surprise melting into something else. He took her hand, kissing knuckles gently. "To Martha's Vineyard?" He asked, sitting up, hiding his gaze. "Maybe next time, I'm sure it's just some routine tests." "Really?" She would go, it seemed crazy, but she would do it, for him. "Yeah," he nodded as if to himself, glancing at her over his shoulder, tender smile back on his face. "But just in case, can I call you? If anything, you know." Scooting closer, she linked her arm through his, resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Always."

He traveled light, nothing but a backpack and a paperback novel, sitting forgotten in his jacket pocket. Uneasy mind and heart were baggage enough. Flight through New York, got him to Quonochautaug by early afternoon and heading straight for the hospital, through bored staff, overworked nurses and elderly patients. In a maze of corridors he finally found the right ward, and after a few more questions, the right room. 424. So many doors, so many fears, closing his eyes and holding his breath, Mulder pushed the doors open. "Fox?" A familiar voice filled with delight calmed him enough to look up. "Hi, mom," he sighed, relieved. A small woman sat in bed, pen and a book of puzzles in hand. He came closer, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "Honey, what are you doing here?" "Dad called me this morning." "You left school," she clucked her tongue disapprovingly, but it was only a small pause in her smile. "I'm just having some tests done, and so far, the doctor tells me, there is nothing to worry about." "What tests?" "Oh, you know, they draw blood, check my pressure," she fussed a little with the covers, avoiding his gaze, "I had some headaches lately." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because I'm fine, sweetheart, this is just a precaution." Looking up, she patted his hand in an end of discussion sort of way, and promptly changed the subject. "So, I haven't heard from you in a while, how is school? Have you made any new friends?" "Well, there's this one girl," he began, but stopped himself quickly. Her hopeful gaze forcing him to look away. It took a couple of years of alternate heavy silences and arguments between his parents, but they managed to start to move on. Mostly by moving away from each other. Divorce gave them some measure of closure, and they wanted Mulder to move on too, but he couldn't. Wouldn't. And he had a feeling, that it somehow made them resent him, for keeping his wounds open, a constant reminder of what happened. He stood between his parents, feeling guilty of everything, with no one to absolve him. The sole custodian of his sisters' memory. At some level, Mulder knew it was irrational. He even suspected, that if Sam was really gone, she too, would want him to move on, to let go and live a life of his own. But being here, felt like being sucked back into the void, suspended in time inside a black hole that was left in her absence. Admitting, that he meet someone, to his mother, here, just a few miles from where Samantha was taken, felt like betraying his sister, abandoning his faith. Shame gripped Mulder's throat, keeping rest of the words inside his chest, but a confident knock followed by a man walking in, saved them from that awkward silence. "Fox," his father said calmly, reaching out a hand in greeting. He didn't smile. Bill Mulder didn't smile, not since November 23rd, 1973.

"You should rest. Fox?" Bill said, with authority reserved for the head of the family, which he wasn't and they weren't. Still, Mulder got up, looking out the window, noticing that the sun went down. "Will you stay a while?" His mother asked, hopeful. "At least for the weekend, there's food at home." "I will, thanks mom." He tucked her in and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Get some rest, I'll come by tomorrow." "Thank you, honey." With one last glance, Mulder followed his father out of the room and down the corridor to the elevator. "Thank you for coming on such short notice." Bill finally said when the doors closed. A couple of snarky replies crossed Mulder's mind, things like 'you could have told me she wasn't dying' or 'I didn't think you cared', but he didn't want to fight. "I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you were in D.C." "The hospital notified me, I'm still your mother's emergency contact." "So there was an emergency." "She fainted, dr. Clark called me, when he found out she was admitted." "But mom said it's nothing serious," worry slipped through the mask, he always was a terrible liar. "So it seems, you can talk to the doctor in the morning." "So, you're not staying." "No, I'm going back to Washington tonight." "Then why even bother coming?" Mulder said under his breath, looking away. Bill didn't reply. Numbers blinked slowly on the display above the sliding doors, while the cart moved at a glacial pace, as only hospital elevators had. He always wondered about that as a kid, reasoning that, if there was a place where time was of the essence, it would be the hospital. How many people died in this elevator? Did their ghosts haunt the hospital floors? What if the sounds were their moans and not creaks of lifts and cables. Hospital elevators always gave Mulder the chills. The display blinked a numerical L and the doors opened, Bill went ahead without another word or a glance.

No one waited for him at the dock, when he got off the ferry in West Tisbury, though his legs and stomach welcomed the solid ground. Boats made him seasick, almost every time. It was a peaceful little town, with all the tourist gone for the season, and not as picturesque after dark, as it would be in the summer. He took the familiar road, passing closed restaurants and souvenir shops. Business came and went with the people, and since locals didn't need the flashy and the expensive, only place left open at this time of day and year, was a diner on the end of the street from his mother's house. Mulder found a booth in the back, by the window, where he could see the beach through a gap between houses. He left only few of years ago, but already he had the feeling, as if time stood still around here. Maybe it did, nothing changed really, his sister was still gone, his parents were still in a state of reluctant ceasefire, and him, he still wanted to get out of here. He didn't hate the vineyard, he just didn't like it very much, for a very long time. Unnoticed, a girl appeared by his table, coffee pot in hand. "Hi Mulder." She said amicably. "Carrie." Mulder smiled at the plump blonde, as she filled his cup. "You're still here too?" "This is, still, my parents' place." She smiled back, leaning on the seat across from him. "Where else would I be?" "I don't know, Hollywood?" That made her laugh. Everyone knew, she wanted to write for the movies. Mulder took a sip of coffee and she slipped into the seat opposite him. "I can work from home, for now." She teased back. "You're visiting your mom?" Nodding, he looked out the window again. "How's the outside world? Treating you better?" "I guess, no one gives me funny looks anymore." "A welcome change, I bet." "And how's this place, anything changed?" "Nothing changes around here, people come and go, but what stays is same old, same old." "Does that include burgers you served?" "You bet." She smiled. Someone passed by the window and waved, Carrie nodded back and got up to fill his order, punching a few keys on the jukebox on her way to the kitchen. A bell chimed, door rattled, The Doors trickled from the speakers, Riders On The Storm. No place like home.

Wind carried a salty breeze and the sound of waves crashing against the shore. He could probably reach the beach with a good fast ball, if he tried. Standing in the open window of his childhood bedroom, with the receiver tucked between his ear and shoulder, Mulder waited, eating ice cream straight from the tub, the way his mother never allowed. Random noise and clicks and cracks seeped from the other end of the line, music perhaps, then rattle of plastic and a familiar voice. "Scully." "Hey Scully, it's me." "Mulder," she breathed, tone softening instantly. "How's your mom." "Fine, apparently this time, it was just some tests." "That's good." "They're keeping her overnight, so I'll learn more from the doctor tomorrow." "Didn't you speak to your father?" "I did, still not forthcoming." "I'm sensing a pattern here." "You should be a detective." He chuckled, digging for chocolate. "But it was him, who called you." "Yeah, I just didn't think he would actually be here." "I thought that…" "He still lives in D.C." he said, feeling awkward, "and we haven't actually talked, not since I started school." "Two years?" "Yeah, and now this." Mulder sighed, feeling as if her concerned gaze was on him and not a thousand miles away. "How are you doing?" "I'm fine," he said quietly, poking at the ice cream with the spoon, "it's just weird being here again." "Where are you staying?" "At my mom's place," he said, sitting on the windowsill and looking around the room, "my old bedroom hasn't changed." "Wanna tell me about it?" "There's not much to tell, bed, some shelves, a desk. I moved out before I was seventeen." "Nothing? Really? No books? Trophies?" He got up and walked to the bookcase. "Well, there are a few baseball trophies, and that one I won with the swim team." "I expected that one." "Books," he mused, running fingers over the spines, "classics, some trash horror, sci-fi." His eyes fell to a framed picture, one of a rare few, with the whole family in frame; Sam clutching at their mother's neck, his father's hand on his shoulder, still not smiling. "I don't wanna be like him." He said quietly, picking up the frame. "Your father?" "Yeah." Remembering the picture in Scully's room made his heart clench, her family all smiles, so different from what he knew, for what felt like his entire life. "He was so focused on work and pretending, that he moved on, that there was no room left for anything else. All he ever wanted was for everyone to follow his lead, and I never could. Neither could mom, even if for her it was more about surrendering to grief than moving on. I don't think she ever allowed herself to heal." "I don't think you are like your father," she said with that new tenderness in her voice. "You care too much." "I do?" "When I came by your place to break up with Marcus, you took me in. We weren't really friends, but you cared enough to notice my pain and do something about it." "I just offered you a drink." "You put aside your pain to help me deal with mine, and that's probably the most selfless thing anyone had ever done, for me at least." He didn't say anything, words stuck in his throat. "We all come from somewhere, but as we grow up and make our own choices, mistakes of our parents don't have to be ours. We are free to learn from them, to become something better and," she paused for a second, her voice even lower when she spoke again. "I like the person you're becoming, a lot." He stood frozen to the ground while meaning of her words washed over him, pushing everything into background. "Mulder? You there?" "Yeah, I just," his voice cracked, but came back softer, "I just wish you were here." "Maybe next time." She said, warmth of a smile in her voice. "I think I'll hold you to that." Scully laughed and it made him feel like himself again. Looking up from the photograph, his gaze fell onto a slim volume, a piece of paper sticking out from between pages. "When are you coming back?" "Tomorrow, if I can, Tuesday if I can't." "Okay." She paused, as if interrupted. There was another voice in the background, one he couldn't make out. "Mulder, there's an angry girl staring daggers at me, so I think I should get going." "Fine," he sighed, a little theatrically, but mostly because he really didn't want to say goodnight. "Call me if you need anything, I'll be here." "Thanks." "Goodnight Mulder," she said softly. "Sweet dreams Scully." The connection got cut off, as if someone else disconnected the call, before she could hang up the phone. He imagined her reaction and for a second, felt bad of the one on the receiving end of her wrath. Picking up the book that caught his eye, Mulder found the loose page, unfolding it with a smile, as he toed his shoes off before lying down. Stretched out on his childhood bed, he opened the dogeared copy of Moby Dick. one he brought along for the trip and began to read. Steven Spielberg's autograph tucked between pages as a souvenir.

[maddie-grove]

Bi-Monthly Reading Round-Up (July/August)

PLAYLIST

"Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson (The Wonder)

“The Lusty Month of May” from Camelot (Between a Highlander and a Hard Place)

“Blood on My Name” by The Brothers Bright (Vampires in the Lemon Grove)

“Too Good at Goodbyes” by Sam Smith (A Prince on Paper)

“All I See Is You” by Dusty Springfield (The End of Everything)

“Your Song” by Elton John (Patience and Sarah)

“Reach Out and Touch (Somebody’s Hand)” by Diana Ross (Touchy Subjects)

“When You’re Young and in Love” by the Marvelettes (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda)

“No Sleep Tonight” by the Faders (Can’t Escape Love)

“Take Me in Your Arms (Rock Me a Little While)” by Kim Weston (Bury Me Deep)

“Cold Bread” by Johnny Flynn (Fludd)

“Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen (The Rest of the Story)

“How Can I Meet Her?” by the Everly Brothers (Someone to Honor)

“A Matter of Trust” by Billy Joel (The Scandalous Secret of Abigail MacGregor)

BEST OF THE BI-MONTH

The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016): Lib Wright, an English nurse who worked with Florence Nightingale in the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl who claims to have not eaten for four months. Initially exasperated at the everyone’s credulity, Lib gradually realizes that there’s a lot more going on with Anna, her family, and her village than she thought...and that the girl may be in serious danger if she doesn’t intervene. Despite my love of Donoghue’s work, I put off reading this one for a while because the subject looked so grim. Although Donoghue does deal with difficult material, the growing relationship between prickly Lib and bright-but-haunted Anna makes the novel transcendent.

WORST OF THE BI-MONTH

Between a Highlander and Hard Place by Mary Wine (2018): After her highborn suitor shows his true colors, Athena Trappes sets fire to his house in self-defense and flees to Scotland. There she attracts the attention of Symon, Laird Grant, a melancholy widower. This Elizabethan romance has its moments, notably a lovely meet-cute at a May Day celebration, but it’s mostly dull with some irritating tropes.

REST OF THE BI-MONTH

Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013): In this collection, Russell tells the stories of various oddities, including women who turn into silkworms, presidents who are reincarnated as horses, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. The collection is remarkably consistent, and Russell shows enormous range in it. My favorites are the utterly chilling prairie horror of “Proving Up,” the hilariously absurd “The Barn at the End of the Term,” and the heartbreaking “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis.”

A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019): Nya Jerami has existed under a cloud of suspicion and gossip since her abusive father, an adviser to the king of Thesolo, was sent to prison for poisoning his political rivals. Eager to start her life properly but unsure how, Nya finds unexpected help from Johan van Braustein, the seemingly devil-may-care stepson of the king of a European micronation. This is my favorite contemporary romance I’ve ever read, with two dynamic, endearing protagonists and a strong sense of setting. Cole expertly blends realistic modern-day concerns with frothy wish fulfillment (plus a dash of fairy-tale Gothic).

The End of Everything by Megan Abbott (2011): When her best friend Evie disappears, thirteen-year-old Lizzie only has scanty clues regarding where or why. As she becomes more and more consumed with finding the answer, she discovers dark secrets underlying her seemingly placid 1980′s suburb. Of all the Abbott novels I’ve read, this is the simplest and perhaps the most disturbing. I didn’t love it, but it’s very effective.

Patience and Sarah by Isabel Miller (1969): In 1810′s Connecticut, educated “spinster” Patience White finds herself intrigued by sweet, rough-hewn Sarah Dowling. Although their families contrive to keep them apart, they eventually make it to New York and start a farm together. Of the five f/f romance novels I’ve read, this is my very favorite. Miller captures the feel of early American literature very well, and the romance has a nice balance of tension and sweetness.

Touchy Subjects by Emma Donoghue (2006): This collection of short stories is, naturally enough, organized around “touchy subjects” like babies, domesticity, strangers, desire, and death. There are some jewels in this collection: the sad/funny “WritOr” (about a struggling author who takes on a resident-writer position at a rural college), the bittersweet “The Welcome” (about a naive young lesbian with a crush on a reserved trans woman), and the strangely uplifting “Enchantment” (about a rivalry between Cajun fishermen). There’s a lot of chaff to separate from the wheat, though; many of the stories are very slight.

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (2015): Simon Spier, an upper-middle-class teen in suburban Atlanta, isn’t 100% sure why he hasn’t come out as gay to his liberal family or friends, but for now he prefers to keep his sexuality (and a flirtatious email correspondence with an anonymous boy called Blue) under wraps. When a classmate finds out the truth and blackmails Simon into setting him up with his friend Abby, that task becomes a lot more complicated. Despite the rather disturbing premise, this is a super-cute YA novel that I would have loved when I was a YA. (At twenty-eight, I still liked it a lot; it’s just got a sense of immediacy that was a little lost on me thanks to my relatively advanced age, but would’ve been very appealing to me at sixteen.) 

Can’t Escape Love by Alyssa Cole (2019): Regina Hobbs, highly successful proprietor of a website about nerdy stuff, has it all together, except she’s suffering from a wicked case of insomnia. She’s convinced that only the voice of Gustave Nguyen, a puzzle designer she got to know after tuning into his livestream, can get her to sleep, so she contacts him to see if she can have a recording of his voice. Even though they both think it’s kind of weird, her request gets them talking...and MORE. This is a short but absolutely delightful novella about two neat people hooking up. The stakes are low, but the tensions stemming from Regina’s family keeps things interesting.

Bury Me Deep by Megan Abbott (2009): In the depths of the Great Depression, Marion Seeley finds herself alone in Phoenix while her morphine-addict husband chases redemption in Mexico. Working an administrative job at a local hospital, she falls in with party-girl nurse Louise, her TB-afflicted girlfriend Ginny, and (much to her sorrow) corrupt, handsome Joe Lanigan. Abbott’s historical crime novel takes a little while to heat up, but once it does it’s a very satisfying thriller. However, I was never convinced of Joe’s attractiveness even at a surface level, which was kind of an impediment to enjoying the story because Marion sure is.

Fludd by Hilary Mantel (1989): A mysterious stranger comes to a deeply Catholic, determinedly miserable English village in the 1950′s, claiming to be the new curate. While there, he greatly affects the lives of an alcoholic priest, his prim housekeeper, an unhappy young nun, and a pompous bishop. This is a highly peculiar, often enjoyable fable, although it drags quite a bit in the third quarter.

The Rest of the Story by Sarah Dessen (2019): Emma, an anxious seventeen-year-old who lost her mom to addiction five years ago, ends up spending part of the summer with her seldom-seen maternal relatives, who own a downscale motel in a lake town. While there, she learns about her mother’s secret history, observes the tensions between her family’s working-class community and the upscale resort people across the lake, has a low-key romance with a childhood friend, and practices her driving. This novel isn’t among Sarah Dessen’s best--the ending is a little rushed, and the romance feels perfunctory--but the setting is cool and Emma is an interesting protagonist.

Someone to Honor by Mary Balogh (2019): Years after her dad’s bigamy was revealed, resulting in her de-legitimization, reserved Abigail Westcott shows no interest in trying to re-enter society, instead opting to hang out with her convalescing Napoleonic War veteran brother. Unfortunately, his surly friend, Lieutenant Gilbert Bennington, is also intent on keeping her brother company to avoid his own problems, and he and Abigail don’t exactly get along. They come to understand each other, though, and decide to take a chance on marriage when Gilbert finds himself in trouble. I found this Regency romance to be solid but overly somber (not an infrequent issue with Balogh). I never got a great sense of who Abigail was and, while I sympathized with Gil, I also found him very irritating at times.

The Scandalous Secret of Abigail MacGregor by Paula Quinn (2015): In the late 1700′s, Queen Anne summons Davina MacGregor, secret eldest daughter of James II (and, were she not Catholic, rightful ruler of Great Britain), to court. Because Davina is sickly, her daughter Abigail, who has ambitions of being clan chieftain, goes to court in her place. She’s accompanied by Captain General Daniel Marlow, a Jacobite-hating English soldier and close friend of Anne’s. He’s got some trust issues and a stalker. This romance had a lot of potential, but too much of it is spent on the road and not enough on juicy court drama. The straight-version-of-Rachel-Weisz’s-character-in-The-Favorite villain was also, unfortunately, usurped by her much more boring lover.

[finn-nelson-for-the-win]

The Good Life: Chapter 7

Hello, my lovelies! I’m back from mt very brief vacation and am trying to get back into the groove of work, uni, writing, life in general, and posting on a regular-semi-regular basis. I generally try to get new chapters posted on Fridays, so please forgive me for the slightly late posting.

Need to get caught up? The Good Life: Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4 , Ch5, Ch6

If you want to be added (or  removed) from the tags list for this story, just feel free to let me know!

@pink-royaute @believethaticanandiwill @milllott @likeashootingstarfades @i-dream-of-emus @eveerez

The Good Life: Chapter 7

The final beats of the song faded away and there was a brief moment of quiet before yet another rap song that Rae did not recognize began flowing through the speakers that had been strategically arranged around the entire house. Rae glanced down at the bottle of cider she had been nursing as she stood near the couch, catching up with a few of the people that she had not seen in a while, and was disappointed to see that it was nearly empty. “So, Rae...I’m guessing you’re not a fan of this music either, huh?” Archie asked as he walked to stand next to her. “Is it that obvious?” Rae asked with a chuckle as she swirled the liquid in the bottle she was holding and drank the last of it in a single gulp, “I don’t listen to very much rap. It’s just not really my scene, ya know?” “That makes sense. I like some rap music, but this is just shit, honestly. I have no clue who is controlling the music, but I know it’s not Izzy or Chop!” “Yeah, they value my friendship with them far too much to think playing this music is acceptable,” Rae joked, “Speaking of which...where are the two love birds right now? I haven’t seen them around since I first got here.” “Izzy and Chloe left with a group of people about half an hour ago to go get some food. I think Chop and some of the lads might be out back smoking.” “Ah, I see,” “Oh, and uh—Chop and Izzy broke up earlier this week.” “Again?” “Again.” “Do you know what happened this time?” “Not a clue. They’re still talking and still seem on really good terms this time, but after the fourth or fifth break up, I honestly just stopped asking why they broke up.” Archie rolled his eyes and chuckled lightly as he took a sip from his red plastic cup. As much as Rae loved both Izzy and Chop and considered both of them among her closest friends, they were everybody’s favorite on-again-off-again couple and it was nearly impossible to keep up with the changes in their relationship dynamic. “Do you know whose birthday this is a party for? All I know is that Chop invited me to the party, but I have no clue why exactly there’s a party tonight in the first place.”

“I think it’s Julie’s birthday. Or maybe her birthday was the last party Chop host. I’m not sure either. I feel like everyone just uses Chop’s house for the go-to party location because he has a house and roommates that don’t mind the noise and everyone else lives in apartments or doesn’t have enough space to throw a proper party, ya know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rae replied with a laugh.

As a new group of people walked into the room, narrowly avoiding running into the people that were leaving that room at the same time, Rae could hear loud cheers and applause flowing through the door to the backyard.

“Do you think we should go out back to check out what all the noise is about?” Rae asked as she nodded towards the open door on the other side of the room.

“I suppose we could use from fresh air. There’s too many people in here right now anyways,” Archie replied with a shrug.

Archie and Rae made a quick detour to the kitchen to grab a drink before heading outside through the door being propped open by a half-empty case of cheap beer.

When they stepped outside, they saw that a crowd of people were gathered around a long table to watch the two-on-two beer pong game that was in progress.

On one side of the table against one of the walls, Rae noticed Chloe and Izzy watching the beer pong game with rapt attention and when she met eyes with them she and Archie walked over to join them.

“There you two are, we’ve been standing awkwardly by the couch for the last 30 minutes trying to figure out where everyone went!” Rae replied with a laugh.

“Sorry about that,” Izzy replied, “I was inside a bit earlier, but Chloe dragged me out here to watch the beer pong game.”

“Oh really? I didn’t know you were such a big fan of cliché drinking games, Chloe!”

“I’m not, but I am a fan of the ass on that boy right over there,” Chloe replied with a smirk as she nodded her head towards one of the beer pong players that was bending over to pick up the rogue ping pong ball that had bounced off of the table.

“These four lads pretty much always have a beer pong rematch at all of these parties. Neither team is particularly good at beer pong, but they have a lot of fun with it and they’re not too hard on the eyes.”

Rae chuckled and gave each of the players a once over, stopping only when the lad Chloe had pointed out noticed her looking at them with curiosity and shot her a friendly smile.

“Hey Archie!” he called when he noticed Archie standing along the wall beside Rae.

“How’s it going, David?” Archie called back in response.

“Pretty good. Eddie and I aren’t doing so well this round, but I think we can come back and beat Blue and his mate,” David replied before returning his focus back to the beer pong game.

“Ah, so you know ‘David’...hmm, interesting…”

“It’s not like that, I swear. We used to have the same Ancient Civilizations lecture together, so we got to know each other a bit. His mate Blue on the other hand…” Archie trailed off with a smirk.

“Blue? Is that like a nickname or what?”

“Nope! Not a nickname. He’s the one in the black shirt on the other team. He’s a pretty cool guy and I’ve never really spoken to him too much, but I’m fairly certain that I’m going to marry him.” Archie whispered in reply, making Rae laugh loudly.

“Hey, my throw wasn’t that bad! You don’t have to laugh!” Blue called out to Rae with a laugh.

“Sorry! I wasn’t laughing at you, I swear. My mate just told me something funny.”

“You don’t have to lie to spare his feelings, love. How about I show you how a real man sinks a throw,” David replied cockily only to miss the cup he was aiming for entirely.

The game continued in much the same fashion for a while--each team seldom gaining any points despite the amount of shit-talking going on--and before long both teams were tied and struggling to break the tie in order to officially end the game.

“Hey, Chloe! Are you any good?” David’s beer pong partner asked as he nodded his head towards the beer pong table.

“Yeah, Chloe is pretty good at handling balls,” Rae joked under her breath as she leaned towards Archie so only he heard.

“So, it looks like Chloe’s mate has jokes. Come on over here and we’ll see who’s laughing then,” David’s partner quipped.

“What are ya doing, Eddie?”

“I want this game over as soon as possible and we’re not really getting anywhere with just us four, so I thought maybe we could use a celebrity shot as the tie-breaker. Is that alright with you?”

“Ah, good idea. We can let the ladies choose which team they want to represent though.”

“I’ll be on David’s team,” Chloe called out as she walked towards the end of the table where he and his partner stood.

“Perfect, it looks like you’re going to be playing for our team. My name is Blue, by the way,” he replied with a wide smile.

“I’m Rae,” she replied as she picked up the ping pong ball from Blue’s outstretched hand.

“Alright ladies, I’m going to take a leap and assume that you both know the basic rules of beer pong,” David said and waited a moment for both Rae and Chloe to nod in agreement, “so the rules for a celebrity shot is pretty simple: you each go one at a time trying to land a ping pong ball into a cup. The first one to make their shot wins for their team. You’ll both just keep going back and forth until one of you makes their shot. Sound good?”

Both Rae and Chloe agreed and they flipped a coin to determine who would be up first to take their shot.

Chloe was up first, so she stepped up to the table and tossed her ping pong towards the cup she was aiming for. When the ball clipped the edge of the cup and bounced out, the entire crowd groaned in sympathy.

“It was so fucking close!” Chloe complained, “Alright, Rae-Rae...your turn now!”

Rae stepped up to the table with wide eyes and began trying to plan out which cup to aim for. Blue rest a hand on her shoulder and gave her a final shoulder squeeze of encouragement before stepping aside to let her take the shot.

Rae got into position to make her shot and took a slow, steadying breath before closing her eyes and tossing the ball across the table.

It wasn’t until the loud cheers and chanting began that Rae opened her eyes and realized she had sunk the small plastic ball in the opponent’s cup, making her and Blue’s team the winning team.

“You, my dear, are a total badass!” Blue said as he lifted both his hands up to give Rae congratulatory high-fives on their shared victory, “If you ever want a partner to play beer pong with, just let me know!”

Rae laughed and returned the high fives as he walked away to join his friends who were currently walking back into the house through the back door.

“Go Rae! That was great!”

“Oh, it was nothing really! Just beginner’s luck, I’m sure—!”

Rae gasped mid-sentence when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind and someone rest their chin on her shoulder.

“That’s my Rae! Always so humble even when she just kicked ass at beer pong and won the game for those guys!”

“Finn! There ya are! You can’t just go around sneaking up on me like that. When did you get here?”

“I was out back smoking a spliff with Chop and the lads, but I caught the tail-end of the game and saw you make the game-winning shot as if it was the easiest thing you’ve ever done,” Finn replied with a chuckle as he turned his face to give Rae a kiss on the cheek.

“Oi, get a room you two! Wait, this is my house! Don’t you dare go into my home and defile one of my rooms with your perverted behavior!” Chop joked as he approached the gang and scoffed at Rae and Finn who were still wrapped in an embrace.

“Fuck off, Chop!” Rae replied with a laugh as she removed Finn’s arms from where they had been wrapped around her torso and gave Chop a gentle shove in return.

“I’m actually going to get another beer. Can I get ya anything, Rae? Another cider, maybe?”

“Yes, please…actually I’m tired of cider. Can I get a cup of the Jungle Juice? Archer says it’s really good but really strong,” Rae said.

“Of course, love! I’ll be right back,” Finn said as he leaned to give Rae a peck on the cheek before walking back towards the house.

A few moments of silence passed with all of her friends giving her the same looks of judgement and surprise to varying degrees before the tension became too uncomfortable for Rae to put up with any longer.

“What are all of you staring at me for?”

“Don’t play dumb, Rae,” Chloe said, “you and Finn are acting awful close tonight. Is there something you’re not telling us?”

“Uh, no...?”

“So, you two aren’t a couple yet?” Izzy asked and if Rae didn’t know any better, she may have mistaken the slight drunken slur in her voice for being disappointment.

“Whoa, definitely not! He’s just…well, he’s Finn. We’re close, obviously, but not like that! I can’t believe you lot really thought that Finn and I are— “

“Fucking insane how many people show up to these parties, huh, Chop?” Finn said as soon as he walked out the back door of the house carrying his bottle of beer in one hand and a red plastic cup in the other.

“Thanks, Finnley,” Rae replied as she took the plastic cup from his hand and took a drink, cringing slightly at the potent and sugary mixture of alcohol.

“My pleasure, Rae! Do any of you know where James headed off to? I let him borrow my lighter and I want to make sure I get it back before I leave,” Finn replied as he took a swig of his bottle of beer.

“I think Blue and the rest of the guys who were playing beer pong went out to smoke with him, so maybe try there?” Chop replied as he gestured with his head towards the yard where people tended to gather to smoke.

As soon as Finn was out of earshot, all eyes turned back to Rae and she took a long drink from her cup to avoid meeting their eyes.

“Look Rae, we don’t want to pry or overstep our boundaries, but we really care about ya,” Archie began.

“Exactly! We’ve been telling you that we weren’t sure how the arrangement between the two of you was gonna work out, but we tried to keep an open mind,” Chloe continued.

“We just wanna make sure you’re happy and that you don’t get hurt in any way.” Izzy added with a nod.

“I appreciate that, really, but none of you have anything to worry about. Finn and I work surprisingly well together and I don’t regret it at all.”

“Even so, if he ever steps out of line or doesn’t fulfill his half of the deal, I’ll gladly kick Finn’s arse for you. I don’t care if he’s one of my best mates or not,” Chop added with a wide grin.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Rae replied with a smile when she looked across the yard and saw Finn walking towards then holding his favorite purple lighter in the air triumphantly.

“I found it!” He said as he rejoined the group, “I’m actually planning on heading out of here now, I think.”

“Leaving already, Finney boy? You definitely aren’t the same wild teenager who could party on a weeknight and go to college the next morning without trouble that I used to know and envy, now are ya?”

“Fuck off, Chopper! I’m only leaving because I’m tired of looking at your ugly mug, actually!” Finn quipped before getting pulled into a playful headlock by Chop.

Rae finished drinking the last of her drink and walked the short distance to place her empty cup into the bin.

When she returned to the group, Finn was pulling his arms into his leather jacket and drinking the last of his beer.

“Are you ready to leave now too, Rae?”

“I think I am, yeah,”

“Alright, sounds good,” Finn turned towards the rest of the gang as they said their goodbyes and good nights before gripping Rae’s hand in his gently, “come on, Rae. Let’s head back home!”

Finn and Rae walked back into the house and through the party hand-in-hand as they made their way to the front of the house where Finn’s car was parked outside so they could go home together.

A/N: So I’m not sure if anyone recalls this or not, but I actually posted a preview of this chapter in December/January, long before I ever actually got started on working on this larger overall story or had a title for the multi-chapter that would eventually become The Good Life. This chapter is the longest that I’ve written for this story thus far, but hopefully y’all enjoy the additional 1000ish words and don’t hate how long the chapter is!

I’m still loving all the love that this story has received over the last weeks, so if you have liked/reblogged/replied to one or more chapters or have sent me messages saying how much you’re enjoying this story, just know that I appreciate you dearly. Until next time: Stay awesome, my friends! :)

[thesffcorner]

The Gilded Wolves

The Gilded Wolves is the first book in a YA fantasy duology written by Roshani Chokshi. It’s set in a fictionalized version of Paris, 1889; in this universe the destruction of the tower of Babel, left the world several fragments of Babel, each with an unimaginable magical potential. The Order, an organization lead by 4 Houses, hide and protect the location of these fragments, as well as lead the world into the art of forging; an ability to manipulate mind or matter into various ways. We follow Severin, the heir to a disgraced House of Vanth, and his ragtag team of thieves, who specialize in “acquiring” artifacts from the Order. During their latest acquisition of a forged Chinese compass, the gang realizes that the map hidden inside the compass leads to something immensely powerful and dangerous; a Horus Eye, an artifact that can show them the location of Babel fragment. This book was awesome; it has all the elements of this type of adventure story that I like; a motley cast of characters, treasure hunts, heists and powerful artifacts related to history. The world and the characters are incredibly entertaining, and if you at all enjoyed the original Mummy films, National Treasure or even Tomb Raider, you will probably love this book.

World Building: Let’s start with the world-building. This novel is set against the backdrop of 1889 World Fair or Exposition Universelle, which unveiled the Eiffel Tower. Combine that with the characters’ base of operation being a hotel called L’Eden, which Severin owns, and this book has the perfect atmosphere for Paris during the turn of the century. Choksi takes full advantage of the setting; we visit glamorous parties, cabarets, palaces and the Exposition itself, while also not shying away from the darker parts of Paris. Something I really enjoyed was the juxtaposition of France, and Paris in particular being this city of liberties and progressivism, while at the same time being firmly a product of its time, with all the colonialism, racism and xenophobia that entails. One thing I’ve heard from people who didn’t like this book is that the world is very confusing and dense. I definitely will agree that the first 50 or so pages of this book are very dense; there’s a lot that needs to be explained, especially the magic system and the background as to how this world is different from historical Paris. We learn about the Order, the Houses, Forging, the Tower of Babel, the Horus Eye and all the character backstories in a very short amount of time, and while I didn’t have a problem following any of it, I am also a huge history nerd and religion nerd, so a lot of these things I was already familiar with. I think there’s also a specific reason as to why a lot of people were annoyed with the world-building. Before this book came out, and with early reviews, it was compared a lot to Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Now, that comparison is apt; the general plot, the group of 6 ragtag thieves trying their best amidst a crisis much bigger than any of them, the search for a powerful, mysterious artifact, the heist elements, are all things that were present in Six of Crows. However, Six of Crows was a sequel to a whole trilogy that had already set up both the world and the magic system, so it was free to start the plot immediately. This book has to actually build up this world, and while we can agree or disagree on how successful it did it, I think a lot of people didn’t give it a proper chance, because they expected another Six of Crows, and they got something different. Speaking of the confusing elements, I really enjoyed the backstory on the Houses and the commentary on colonialism and power dynamics that Chokshi weaves in it. As secret organizations tend to, the Order is rather corrupt and power-hungry and the people who suffer under it, tend to be the same people who suffered under the European expansion of the 18 and 19 centuries. It was an interesting reflection of real historical events, and I enjoyed how it actually tied both with the plot and the characters. Plot: Speaking of plot, I enjoyed that a lot too. The plot is essentially several increasingly dangerous heists, and there’s nothing I like more than a good heist. But what really sold this treasure hunt to me were the actual clues and treasure. Without spoiling anything, this book relies heavily on puzzles, riddles and a combination of math and history. It make sense that the Order would design these elaborate puzzles based on math and historical knowledge, seeing as one of their main roles is preserving history. As such, it was a blast to try and solve the riddles with the characters, and I was thrilled to see they were actually complex, and not at all similar to the puzzles and riddles we usually get in media. There’s a lot of Latin, a lot of religious texts, a lot of play on words, and most importantly math! I love math! It was so much fun to see math in a fantasy book! My favorite puzzle had to do with a specific mathematical sequence that also shows up in Dishonored: Death of the Outsider. It was great. Characters: The characters were all very likable, and distinct from one another. I will admit, at first I too fell into the trap of comparing them to the characters in Six of Crows, and though they do fill out roughly the same archetypes, they are entirely different people. Let’s start with Hypnos. He was my absolute favorite character; he has a dramatic flare and sense of humor, while also having a true vulnerability which the rest of the characters take a bit to see. I liked that he was unabashedly himself, that he had real struggles with race and belonging (seeing as he’s mixed race, his mother being from Mozambique), but was still a character who took everything in stride and was just a joy to watch bicker with the others. Tristan was the character I liked the least. He was the least developed one, and at many points I sort of felt like he was filling out the role of a child, while still being at least a teenager. He’s a botanist, and can forge plants, but he disappeared for long stretches of the book, making it hard for me to sympathize with him. Since he doesn’t get a PoV, and his personality isn’t strong enough to compensate for it like Hypnos’, he got lost in the shuffle for me. Zofia was my favorite of the girls. She reminded me of a mix between Audrey and Vinny from Atlantis: The Lost Empire; she’s stubborn, has a difficulty with conversations and people, and likes to blow things up. It’s never explicitly stated is Zofia is on the spectrum or just awkward, but I thought the way her discomfort with jokes, conversations, word play, physical touch and humans in general was presented was very well done and respectful. Zofia was a great character; she has flaws and insecurities, and she works through them in her own way, while also clearly caring about her friends. She is Jewish too, and this plays a big role in her character backstory that I really liked; it’s not often that we get visible Jewish characters, especially not in fantasy. Enrique was, after Hypnos my second favorite. Like Hypnos he has a very strong sense of humor, and he masks his fears and discomfort with jokes, which I can relate to a lot. He’s half Spanish, half Filipino, and a historian to add, which was very entertaining, as he is often paired with Zophia (Zophia being the math expert), to solve the riddles. I liked that his religion while being a part of his identity, didn’t overtake his character, and his banter with all the rest of the characters was very entertaining. Laila was a character I’m torn on. On the one hand, I absolutely loved her persona as L’Enigma, and I loved the banter she had with especially Severin and Zophia, but on the other hand I found her backstory contrived. I didn’t like that she needed this specific thing to have such large hang ups around, and I felt that it especially didn’t make a lot of sense with her persona as L’Enigma. I won’t lie and say that her relationship with Severin wasn’t heart wrenching, but I felt like out of all the characters she had the most muddled motivations. Her powers were very cool though, and I liked that she was clever in a different way from Enrique and Zophia, being more attune to people and manipulation than science or history. Finally Severin. Like Laila, I found his character a bit muddled; he seems to flip flop the most between being a charming manipulator, and a brooding, serious crime boss. I found the former part of his personality a lot more interesting, because those were the scenes where he didn’t remind me of a less developed version of Kaz. His backstory is interesting and I really liked his relationship with Laila, but I think the rushed ending really hurt his characterization the most. Overall, this was a book I enjoyed immensely. It’s fun, it’s fast paced, it has a group of incredibly likable and funny characters, and it was a blast to read. I can’t wait for the sequel and if you’re in need to some kids trying their best, check this out.

goodreads

[stevesharrlngtons]

hey.

steve harrington x reader

summary: he was such a staple piece in your life, that as a child and young teen, you never saw your life without him. late night promises and pinky swears were made in blanket forts that you two would be friends until the day the sun burned out in the sky. it was just a given that’d he be there, that you never worried about the two of you drifting apart or being separated. he promised he’d always be there, and you had believed him. you now corrected yourself, foolishly believed him.

word count: 3.4k

chapter: i / ii / iv / v / vi / vii / viii

                                                    chapter iii

You thanked the universe it was Saturday. This not only meant you had today and tomorrow to recover from the night before, but your mom always went out on Friday nights and slept most of Saturdays away. It wasn’t that you were afraid of getting in trouble, you just didn’t want the interrogation she would give you if she saw you walking in with a boy’s clothes on and your own clothes, wet, in your arms. To your dismay, the second you walked through the door, your mother was sitting at the kitchen table with a cigarette and her morning coffee.

“Look who’s back early.” Your mother in a cheerfully knowing voice.

“I could say the same to you.”

“Ha ha.” She spoke and rolled her eyes.

You went to the table and joined her.

“Coffee?” She asked as she slide her pack of cigarettes towards you.

“Hot chocolate. I’m not planning on staying awake much longer.” You replied and lit yourself a cigarette, throwing your wet clothes on the chair next to you.

Your mother smiled and nodded, getting up to make your drink.

You and your mother had a different relationship. When your father and she had split (after she had found him wrapped in the throws of passion with his assistant in their marital bed) she had kind of fallen apart for a while. All of her friends had forsaken her for being a divorcee, including Steve’s parents, you were all she had left. You took care of her while she had depressive episodes and you were the one who cooked, cleaned and took care of everything for most of your freshman year. After that, your mom got her life back. Got a better job, and started to look like herself again. But after all of that, things never went back to a traditional mother-daughter relationship. It became like two old ladies living under the same roof. She still parented you on occasion, but really, you stayed out of trouble, did well in school and never gave her a reason to really discipline you. So, the dynamic never changed. You liked it this way. It was easy, you both came and went and supported each other. You both were a little broken, but it was okay. You loved each other and that’s all that mattered.

“Here.” Your mother placed the mug of hot chocolate in front of you.

“Thanks.” You smiled and took a small sip of the hot liquid.

“So, can I ask why you’re carrying a pile of wet clothes and wearing some that definitely aren’t yours?” She quirked an eyebrow at you while sliding the ash tray so it would be close enough for the both of you to use it.

“If you must.” You sighed, ashing your cigarette.

“So…?”

“I went to a party, where I happen to run into Steve,”

“Harrington?” She asked engaged.

“Yes, Harrington,” You continued, “Him and Nancy broke up and I don’t know, I guess old feelings die hard, so I went back to his place and we talked. Swam, fell asleep. Don’t worry no funny business, scouts honor.” You put your pointer and middle finger to your temple in a faux solute.

“Did he drive you home?”

“No. I walked.”

“What?!” She exclaimed and placed her cup down.

“Sweetheart, you could have caught your death out there! You could have called me.”

“Eh, didn’t want to bother you.” You shrugged.

She gave you a You-Know-You-Could-Never-Bother-Me- look and you smiled back.

“You should have made him drive you home, (Y/N).”

“I left before he woke up.” You fiddled with the lip of your mug.

“Why?” Your mother asked.

“Freaked out I guess. It was weird being there.”

“Did he apologize for being such an asshole- sorry, jerk to you for so long?”

You laughed at your mom’s correction, “Yeah, kinda. He probably didn’t mean it. Who cares if he did, y’know? Everything will be the same Monday.”

Your mother saw the slight disappointment on your face.

She placed her hand over yours in comfort, “Don’t be so sure. Sometimes people surprise us.”

“Yeah, maybe.” You offered a small smile.

Then the two of you made small talk while you finished your drinks.

“I’m going to lay down. I’m exhausted.” You told your mother while you placed your mug in the sink.

“Okay,”

“Oh!” She said remembering, “Jonathan called last night, wanted to make sure you got home alright. I told him you were here and safe.”

“What if I had been kidnapped mother! Weren’t you worried in the slightest?” You said dramatically, feigning hurt.

“Eh, they would have brought you back to me, I wasn’t worried.” She smiled and shrugged.

You squinted and shook your head with a smile, “Love you too, mother.”

“Love you more!”

After you had woken up from your early morning nap, it was noon and there was a small note folded next to you.

Had to step out, while you were asleep Steve Harrington called. I swear I just told him you were asleep and not to pound sand like I wanted too.

Xoxo,

Mom

You sighed. You were really hoping Steve wouldn’t have called. You hoped he would have woken up too hungover to even remember if you were there the night before or not. Sadly, that wasn’t the case. You made your way down stairs to get some coffee and a muffin while debating whether to call him back or not. You hopped up to sit on the counter to eat your breakfast and picked up the phone that rested on the wall. The long sparling chord brushed your left shin. You stared to dial Steve’s number and a wave of panic hit you again, so you hung up the phone and dialed the Byers’ home instead. They rarely ever answered it since the incidents with Will last year, but every once and a while, Bob, Joyce’s new boyfriend, would be there and answer it out of habit. Today was one of those days.

“Hello, hello?” Bob’s cheerful voice rang through the phone.

“Hi Bob, It’s (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

“Well good afternoon! How may I direct your call, Ms. (Y/L/N).”

“To Jonathan Byers’ office, please.” You said smiling and playing along.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Byers’ is out at the moment can I take a message?”

“Nah, that’s fine. Just tell him I called?” You asked, a little disappointed Jonathan wasn’t home.

“Of course!” He said.

“Thanks Bob, tell Joyce hi for me, will ya?”

“Always do,” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“Thanks, have a great day.”

And with that both lines were hung up.

You were a little miffed that Jonathan wasn’t home. You wondered if he could have been the one to pick up the pieces of a newly single Nancy Wheeler. But Jonathan was respectful and a gentleman, he’d never try to start their relationship this soon after things had ended so rocky with Steve.

You leaned you head against the wall next to the phone and ate your muffin and drank your coffee in silence. You just let your mind go blank as you continued your mundane activity. That’s why when the phone rang again, you almost fell from the counter.

“Hello?”

“You seriously just left? Really?” It was Steve.

Fuck.

“Sorry, I didn’t feel well and didn’t want to wake you.”

“Bullshit, (Y/N), try again.” His voice was stern.

“Honest! I was just hungover and knew a cold walk would remedy it.”

“Are you fine now then?”

“For the most part.”

“Good, I’m coming to get you.”

“What?” You almost choked on your salvia.

“Yeah, so get dressed.” The line went dead.

You sat on the counter, a little stunned. The last thing you wanted to do was spend the day with Steve, especially after your internal conflict of ‘I love him, I love him not’ you had done on your way home this morning.

But, you found yourself upstairs, hastily wiping away last night’s make up to reapply a fresh layer. You opted for a ponytail for your hair, since you hadn’t had a chance to take a shower and had no clue how close Steve really was to being at your house. After a quick outfit change you smoothed your sweater and looked at yourself in the mirror, you almost changed, but as the thought crossed your mind the doorbell rang.

You walked down the stairs so slow Steve rang the bell again and you sighed. When you opened your front door, there stood Steve Harrington in all of his glory. You cursed yourself at the slight flutter your stomach gave when you first saw him.

“Finally. Now let’s go.” He grabbed your arm and dragged you towards his car.

“Where to, exactly?”

“You’ll see.”

You sat in the front seat of Steve’s car in front of the Dairy Freeze. You had a vanilla shake in your hands and he had a strawberry one, and you both were waiting for your food.

“I forgot how good these shakes are.” Steve said smiling down at his cup.

“Yeah, but know shakes are better when it’s not twenty degrees out.” You said back. It wasn’t supposed to come out as a jab at him, but it had.

“Whatever…” He trailed off.

“Sorry…”

Silence fell over the car again.

“You know,” Steve started, “I like thinking that when we took my dad’s car we parked in this same spot and ate the same things. You have always been a vanilla shake with a chicken sandwich and I’ve always been a strawberry shake and a cheeseburger.”

“Yeah.” You smiled, liking that he remembered your order.

“I’ve been on a date or two here that ended not so good, so this place just doesn’t taste as good as it did when I was a kid.” You sucked at the straw of your shake.

“With who?” Steve’s voice hardened, but you didn’t notice.

“Scott Thompson in the tenth grade then last year with some college guy named Derek, you wouldn’t know him.”

“Scott Thompson? That fucking guy? What did you ever see in him?” Steve was trying to play off his interest as fun banter, but he was secretly making plans to shoulder Thompson extra hard in their next basketball scrimmage.

“I don’t know! He was nice to me. He told me he’d pay for everything but forgot his wallet so I paid. I didn’t care but it was annoying how he kept bringing up that he forgot his wallet. He also put his arm around me and like so awkwardly touched my boob that I told him I had to leave and called my mom from a payphone to pick me up.” You laughed thinking back on it now, it had been mortifying at the time, but now it was a good story.

“And the college guy?” Steve asked a little too quickly.

“I met him here actually. With Jonathan. We were hanging out in his car here and I went in to get more ranch and bumped into him. We exchange numbers went out a few times, but I don’t know he gave me the creeps after our third date so I never called him again. So, I don’t know, I guess because I met him here, this place gives me residual creeps.”

“Did he hurt you?” Steve asked lowly, gripping his drink tightly.

“No! Nothing like that, he was just weird, like he would do and say weird shit that made me feel, well weird.” You chuckled at your lack of vocabulary.

“Well I’m glad you aren’t seeing him anymore if he made you feel like that.” Steve stated.

“Thanks?”

Then the silence was back. The waitress brought you your food so now you both just ate your food and looked around at passing cars and people going in and out of the restaurant. After you were halfway done with your sandwich you placed it aside and asked what you had been wondering since the night before.

“Why me? I mean, why did you call me today? Why not one of your friends?”

“You are my friend.”

“Steve…” You pressed.

“Who could I call, (Y/N)? Tommy? Carol? Oh yeah, they are great people, really want them to console me and make me feel better.” Steve said frustrated as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Aren’t they your friends though?” You asked, honestly wondering.

“Yeah, but I don’t know, not really.” Steve said.

“After I got together with Nancy, I started to see that all those guys, they suck. They’re mean and just assholes. So, I just started to distance myself from them and spend all my time with Nancy.”

“Okay, I get it,” You spoke turning away from Steve, “Now that Nancy’s gone you need someone to fill her shoes.”

“No! (Y/N)! That’s not what I meant, fuck!” Steve said anxiously.

“I can just never say the right thing, can I?” He chuckled sadly to himself.

“You do have a tendency to put your foot in your mouth.”

“Yeah I guess I do.”

Steve meant well, you were sure of it. But you didn’t want to be his consolation prize for losing Nancy. That wasn’t fair to you, not at all.

“Okay, well listen. I’m not going to put my shoe in my mouth-“

“Foot.” You corrected and you saw him smile.

“Okay, yeah. Foot. I’m not going to put my foot in my mouth this time when I say: I really missed you, (Y/N). Like a lot. Last night just reminded me. And right now, I don’t want anyone but you. I’m sad and lost and the only person I want to spend time with is you, okay?” Steve said this with such conviction that your breath caught in your throat.

“Okay.” You whispered.

After the Dairy Freeze, the two of you went back to Steve’s house. You offered to go to yours so he could get his clothes but you told you to keep them. This made you smile just a little but too big. At his house again, you both settled on the couch and flipped channels. Once you saw Audrey Hepburn’s face flash across the screen you yelled.

“Back! Go back!” Steve did so.

“Breakfast at Tiffaney’s? Really?” Steve groaned.

“You know I love this movie.” You said settling back into the couch happily.

“Yeah, but I know I’ve seen this with you at least fifteen times, so God knows how many times you’ve seen it.”

“Classics never get old, Harrington.”

To your pleasure and Steve’s dismay, it was the beginning of the movie. Steve really had seen the movie with you a million times when you were children. Your mother had always wanted you to be a well rounded child, so she had shown you many old movies when you were growing up. Some were better than others, you were still unsure why your mother had had you sit through both Easerhead and Un Chien Andalou in one sitting at the tender age of eleven. Thankfully Steve hadn’t been around for that movie night.

But out of all the old movies you’d seen, you’d always had a soft spot for Breakfast at Tiffany’s. It was the movie you watched whenever you were sick or had an exceptionally tiring day. Steve knew this, and even if this was supposed to be a day of making him feel better, he was fine with you getting the movie choice. Watching you recite lines and add your own commentary was cheering him up.

“We’re friends after all,” Holly said on the TV, “We are friends, aren’t we?”

Without thinking you repeated these lines, and the air became heavy with insinuation.

“Let’s not say another word, let’s just go to sleep.” You muttered in tune with the TV.

“That’s us.”

You looked at Steve with a cocked eyebrow.

“We’re friends, drinking, smoking cigarettes and sleeping next to each other. After all this time we are Holly and Paul.” Steve gestured to the television.

You opened your mouth to reminded him that Holly and Paul fell in love, but you kept it to yourself. Hoping that he forgot that part of the movie or didn’t mean you were like Holly and Paul in that way.

You settled for, “Yeah, I guess we are.”

As the movie drew to a close the sun began to set. You had been so engrossed in it that you hadn’t noticed that Steve had fallen asleep. His mouth open slightly and his forearm over his eyes.

“Holly, I’m in love with you,” Paul spoke.

“So what?” You mouthed along with Holly.

“So what? So plenty. I love you, you belong to me!”

“No,” You and Audrey Hepburn both began, “People don’t belong to people.”

As the scene continued, it began to hit you in a way this movie had never done before.

“You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.”

Tears filled your eyes as you watched Holly desperately search for her cat while Paul watches, you held your breath.

Moon River filled your ears and as Holly and Paul fall into a passionate, exhausted kiss, and you cried. For the first time since you had first seen the movie, you cried. You did so quietly as to not wake Steve, but as the credits ran in, you felt horrible.

Something about Paul’s speech and the emotional coming together of the two leads was too much to bare. It felt too poignant to your situation. You and Steve were Holly and Paul. But you weren’t in love. Things were different now and you weren’t friends let alone in love. Even if you were in love with him, which the jury of your heart was still out on, he didn’t love you. Not like that, never like that. And love was never real love if it was reciprocated. And you knew it was selfish, but you don’t think you could watch him run back to Nancy on Monday. It was inevitable. They were the two in love. People do fall in love and people do belong to each other, but to your tearful dismay, Steve didn’t belong to you, he never would. But you thought if running back into the arms of Nancy Wheeler and belonging to her again was Steve’s chance at happiness, you wanted him to take it.

You felt embarrassed and overdramatic. Here you were crying over a movie next to a boy you hadn’t really talked to in the last four years. You were crying on this boy’s couch about him while he slept. This thought was mortifying and you hated yourself for this whole scene. Why you had suddenly become so emotional over Steve Harrington was a mystery to you.

“(Y/N)? Are you crying?” Steve asked concerned, sleep still lacing his voice.

You began to quickly wipe away your tears, “Yeah. This movie is sad, that’s all.”

“But Holly realizes she loves Paul. How is that sad?” Steve asked moving towards you.

He had remembered the end of the movie.

“Yeah, well I guess I just still get emotional about it.”

Steve nodded, and pulled you into a hug. You were in no way in any shape to refuse him. You just fell into his arms and let him comfort you for a while. It was like this morning when he had held you so tight. It was calm and safe and warm. You had became so relaxed that you didn’t notice when Steve laid back down to the couch, taking you with him. You settled on his chest, face in his neck and hands under his arm pits. And that was how you fell asleep with Steve Harrington for the second time in the same day.