#he's used to the hate but bro went after his sense of humor

[jazzkrebber]

Kuwei: must be hard not being able to laugh

Wylan: I do have a sense of humor you know

Kuwei: I've never heard you laugh before

Wylan: I've never heard you say anything funny

[skeleton-mischief]

Killer "Serrif"

Is he really a Sans? Does it matter? Killer doesn't think so, and it doesn't matter to him. After all, he's alone. Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone,

A L O N E....

- Official Height: 5'4

- He/Him

- Nihilist

- Perceptive, clever, confident, assertive, stubborn, cynical, blunt, optimistic, teasing, untrusting, deceitful, sarcastic, persuasive, erratic, social, cocky, dependant, careless

- Has a liking for the color green and red

- Can have a quick temper

- Named Killer because the nickname he had given Chara turned into an actual name for himself

- Curses often and his favorite word is shit

- Specially skilled with knives

- A little fucking shit

- Forgets things often, leaving him to knock on his skull when trying to remember something

- Talks to himself a lot, a habit he picked up

- Tries to "befriend" everyone

- Surprisingly quite patient when he chooses to be

- Constantly wipes away the ooze pouring from his eyes when it drips

- Black ooze spills from his eyes when crying, so he always has tissues in his inbox

- Laughs during inappropriate times

- He catches himself envying others sometimes, so he gets quieter when this happens

- Both internal sides of his soul argue about their opinions on things, so he usually has neutral opinions on things, leaving him indecisive on simple items

- He doesn't drink ketchup anymore

- Is quite lonely, especially after things went quiet for awhile

- Makes rude comments like the way a child is brutally honest

- He chugs energy drinks a lot to keep awake, he doesn't like sleep since he often has bad dreams

- Loves to mess around with instruments

- He's very touch oriented so he can't stand staying still. He tends to also get in people's space as a result

- Magic smells of iron, magic tastes of cranberries

- He would call his lover Doll

- He adores cats but does not own one of his own since he doesn't want them to get hurt

- When away from the underground he grows to have more fashion sense

- Drinks alcohol frequently, since he was left alone with it in the underground and grew thirsty

- Avoids getting emotionally invested in others

- Fucking eats chocolate UP

- He avoids yellow flowers like buttercups, but he likes roses and overall more red flowers. Yellow ones remind him of days long past

- Hates having anything to do with fate, so he often will get irritated if someone starts rambling about "fate". To him, it's all about chance and choice

- His soul turns back to a heart when he's feeling, and which then involves a lot of crying while one eyelight glows a white

- picks things from out of his teeth with his pinky, since he doesn't carry toothpicks

- Bro has a crusty dusty jacket, he needs a bath💀

- Can never get along with other AU's except very very very rarely

- I think he would listen to ICP

- Avoids hurting animals at all costs, despite his nature

- Would be a horrible babysitter for anything. Give him a baby? He lost it. Keep your keys in his pocket? He lost it. Your faith in him? He lost that pretty quickly

- His gaster blasters are fuzzy and slightly glitchy, not quite present. It is a last resort when he's out of knives since he uses a lot of magic already. His soul can visibly spike and he ends up feeling completely drained to the point it hurts using his magic

- Is able to detect FEAR when staring into another's soul, in which he'll mock them

- Hates being belittled or compared to others

- His magic bones are jagged and red tinted

- Hates seeing himself in reflections, so he avoids mirrors by cloaking them or shattering them

- He dreams of Papyrus and it feeds into his guilt. He gets shaken up by it every time

- A small white eyelight will show itself if he's either his 'normal' self or if he's super comfortable with someone

- He doesn't care for puns anymore, often teasing others or using dark humor instead

- Tends to play with victims during his sprees, as he enjoys teasing them and loves the chase

- He rarely feels remorse for hurting others, but it's possible

- It's not recommended to challenge him, as he feels that he has to win at all costs and tends to be quite tricky as a result through loopholes. He doesn't quite "cheat"

- Rarely does he lose or allow himself to admit defeat. Sometimes he'll even discard the challenge and deal unless they're stronger or best him in a way he finds acceptable

- He is a light sleeper due to paranoia, often waking up with a slightly jittery or skittish response

- Even if he has left others behind to chase a target, it's mainly because he's a chaser. His speed, dexterity, and stamina are his best qualities. He can outrun any other Sans, but he always makes sure to let them have some "leniency"

- Rarely does he quit chasing someone, not unless told not to (depending on different interpretations where he works for Nightmare) or if he's grown to become utterly devoted to those he's close with and decides to help them

- Rarely can be actually create emotional bonds with others, often having "partnerships" or "deals" instead

- Can only keep track of two things: his target of interest (monster, human, item, animal. For hunting or otherwise) and his knives

- Has fun executing those that he deems against his fucked up moral code. If he deems them horrible, then they must be. It's his preferred execution, and so he tends to actually avoid killing those that are aligned as neutral or good. He isn't against hurting them though, and only kills them if necessary

- He doesn't care for humans and seems to actually prefer attacking them instead, since they're not made of just magic. They bleed and can take more hits

-He is partially unable to feel pain, so even if his skull is cracked or if his bones are broken, he just laughs about it and even snaps things back in place

-He usually smiles, but there are times where he's absolutely pissed and is unable to force it. It's his default appearance, sometimes leaving him sore

- This based off my own little twist of the AT, and so this can be entirely ignored. I feel that there is more to his dynamic with Chara because I personally don't think that Chara is evil. In fact, I think that both were forced by the Player, thus bonding as they broke their coding in order to not only feel something, but to also make it nearly impossible for the Player to "win." In this version, I feel that Chara was just morphed into something else due to Hate and Spite. In the end, I feel that after Killer destroyed Chara's soul, a part of it consumed and molded within him, this leaving him and Chara to sort of share a soul

Closing Notes: I have a lot of fun working with him, even when I found him sort of boring when I was younger. Some of my own little twists on what my personal hc's do influence my perception of him. I hope you guys enjoy this and aren't disappointed, don't be afraid to ask questions or throw in your own hc's for him! Thank you for reading =)

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Pokemon Scarlet Character Thoughts: Academy Staff

Clavell

Clavell was a very likeable character, he did his best in the role of director and after the events of Starfall, it was nice to see him apologizing to the students and wanting to make things right and better for everyone. I enjoyed that he wasn’t just a one-time character and we got to see him several times throughout the game, such as being a part of Iono’s gym challenge. He is a likeable person and design wise he’s not boring. I laughed so hard after our battle outside the front door of the school and Tyme came out and ripped him to shreds, he’s the director, but we all know who’s in charge.

Clive

I cannot tell you how badly I wanted Clive and Clavell to be two separate characters! It gave dialogue options throughout the game, either to go along with his charade or not to even humor him. I chose to go along with the hope that, at the end of the game, it would be revealed that these two were twin brothers, just to surprise us! He was so funny while dressed as Clive and it made his character grow more that he was willing to dress and act like a cool guy to talk to those on Team Star as equals.

Jacq

I adore this character, from his personality to his design, everything about him is so likeable, his slightly disheveled appearance, his cute but thick glasses, and how he always seemed to have a smile on his face. He’s the one who made the Pokedex app for this game and I adore this Pokedex, it’s like a library with each entry being a book and it’s the only game that I actually completed the Pokedex! When we get to battle him in the post-game school tournament, I was very surprised to find that he has a variety of Pokemon and before the battle he made a face that made me squee! 

Tyme

Math was my worst subject in school, I hated it and just the thought of any type of math that isn’t simple like 2+2 makes me cringe. I was a little worried about this class and that I wouldn’t like it, but the class itself was simple, if you know Pokemon games (type matchups, etc.) and I came to adore Tyme. When I first saw her, I thought she was going to be another Clive/Clavell, with her moonlighting as a gym leader and a rapper, but I was pleased to find out that they were actually sisters. I was also surprised to find out that she used to be a gym leader and Ryme was the one who took over for her when Tyme wanted to become a teacher. Tyme’s design is cute but her personality and character is what makes her shine, she’s so kind to the students, but also will not hesitate to put others, Clavell for unauthorized battles and Hassel for crying in class, in their place.

Salvatore

Bro the heartbreak I had when he said he was married, ugh. He was such a cutie, and his design is so fancy! The only thing I didn’t like was his tennis ball haircut, it was so dorky looking, but other than that, this fancy man was a lot of fun. It was fun to see the different languages in the game, even though most of the phrases were simple, and I squeed when I told him ‘I love you’. Yes, it was an answer to a question he asked, but Gamefreak knew what they were doing with this pretty boy!

Raifort

The very definition of sus! Her design is unique and colorful and overall likeable, but man is she so sketchy! I hated that I kept making eye contact with her and she made me answer all the questions, but it was nice to learn some of the history of Paldea in a school like setting. Endgame however, my suspicions were proved right when she had me go to the 4 Ruinous Shrines and catch the 4 legendary Pokemon (which wasn’t easy) and all I got in return was the TM Nasty Plot, which makes me even more suspicious of her! Her personality was a bit more complex, as she likes history but was angry at Sada being the first in Area Zero, and as time went on, I could sense nothing but envy coming from her. I’m not sure if there will be more plot with Raifort in a (hopeful) DLC but I am looking forward to it.

Dendra

Design wise I liked her, she was energetic, her color palette flowed nicely despite being in only a few set of colors, and she was a likeable teacher in my opinion. I find it funny that rough and tumble Dendra and elegant Tulip are friends (however I think they have a love/hate-ish type of relationship as Dendra helps Tulip out with her gym challenge stated ‘the loser had to do whatever the winner wanted’). I found it adorable when she worked hard to try and make sandwiches for Nurse Miriam, trying to do something she self-admitted she wasn’t good at, but never gave up.

Hassel

Favorite teacher here everyone! I originally thought he was rather pretentious, as the way he spoke and did lessons was a bit boring for me, until Dear Brassie came to visit, and boy did my opinion of this man do a 180!

He’s so stinking cute!! I love how open he is with his emotions to openly sob in class (I feel bad that he got yelled at by Tyme afterwards) and the way he speaks, praising everyone, is just so heartwarming! I love his design from his hawk eye like eyes, long pretty hair, and fancy suit! I also enjoyed learning that he didn’t want to follow in his family's footsteps, and he decided to become a teacher instead which is wonderful!! He and Brassius are so dating and are my main OTP and 100/10 he is father material! Please adopt me!

Saguaro

Peak character design! Looks like he could kill you but is actual a cinnamon roll! He’s adorable from his Fu-Manchu mustache, hairy arms, bulging muscles, to his pastel aesthetic, feminine Pokemon team, and even the bow in his hair. They even touched on his looks in the game, where people think he’s a tough guy and expect him to get the Five Alarm Sandwich, but he actually adores sweets! I loved that we got to yell at him to get the peanut butter sandwich and how appreciative he was of keeping him on track. He was one of my favorite teachers so I always tried to leave his classes until last, so I could enjoy them more. I bet he gives the best hugs! Another father material person that I would love to adopt me!

Miriam

She is so cute! I love her hair to pieces, the colors and the bow made from her hair are just so CUTE!!! I love her personality that she wants to be a teacher so badly and that we actually inspire her to take the teacher’s exam one more time and she passes! It makes the connection to characters like her so much more meaningful and makes the game playing experience more enjoyable. Her friendship with Dendra is also adorable, as I feel like Dendra is often in the nurse’s office with various injuries, the two of them are cute together as friends.

The teachers are very different in looks to each other and I love it and I loved going back to school!

[lollytea]

Would Gus know about Hunter and Matt's beef or would he be oblivious and when he hangs out with the two of them he thinks they're all having an awesome bro time

Hell ya an opportunity to talk more about the Bullshit Drama.

The idea of Hunter and Matt glaring at each other with bloody murder in their eyes while Gus stands between them like :) completely head empty is SO fucking funny. However Gus is smarter than that.

Going off Labyrinth Runners, he's observant to peoples' emotions and notices when things aren't right. And considering these are his best friends who he knows well, he's obviously gonna be pretty attuned to the tension. Plus Hunter would be terrible at hiding his resentment. He's terrible at hiding most emotions. Matt, meanwhile, is such an obnoxious little prick that trying to make nice with somebody he hates doesn't even occur to him.

So Gus knows Hunter and Matt hate each other. But no matter how hard he thinks about it, he can't figure out why. They refuse to tell him. Gus is completely bewildered by it cause he assumed they'd get along great. They both have a similar sense of humor, they both like Ruler's Reach and Blademage, they're both competitive and snarky and ridiculously edgy in an endearing sorta way.

And they've barely even spoken to each other?? It's like they hated each other on sight?? What the fuck is up with that??

Matt would rather die than tell Gus he's jealous of Hunter. Like. It's not fucking happening. I see Matt and Gus as having this really tight bond full of jokes and playful antagonism but they simply do not acknowledge that they actually care about each other. Gus will be jokingly affectionate sometimes for the sake of annoying Matt (See the little photo of them from LR.) but other than that, their friendship is not a sentimental one. Matt neither wants nor knows how to tell Gus that he cares about him. So he's unable to admit that he feels threatened by Gus's bond with Hunter. (Hunter's ability to easily be kind and warm to Gus is another thing that makes Matt want to tear his own skin off.)

Meanwhile, Hunter is usually capable of being vulnerable with Gus. He tells him almost everything. But this time it feels different because Hunter is self aware enough to KNOW how stupid and petty he's being. He recognizes this jealousy as so stupidly childish that he's overwhelmed with shame because of it. He's nearly 17 fucking years old for Titan's sake. And while the two of them always listen to each others' vents, Hunter knows Gus looks up to him and would lose a ton of respect if he knew about this. So Hunter just. Can't. He can't tell him.

(They can't even use the Steve excuse for similar reasons. Hunter saying he hates Matt cause he was jealous of him six fucking years ago?? That's pathetic. And maybe Matt is also too proud to admit just how much he idolizes his big brother.)

Funnily enough, King made a correct assumption of what was going on. (Remember that he went though something similar when Luz started spending more time with Gus and Willow.) And he actually suggested this might be the reason to Gus after a disastrous Boys Night which ended in a nasty shouting match.

Gus dismissed it immediately. Because Hunter and Matt have never fucking communicated their feelings, Gus would have no reason to believe this is the case. Hunter is obviously not a jealous person. Half of Hexside has a crush on his girlfriend and he doesn't bat an eye. And, though he knows they're friends who like each other just fine, he severely underestimates just how much Matt likes him. So unless Hunter and Matt actually spell things out for him, Gus remains oblivious.

He has no idea how to make Hunter and Matt get along but he really wants them to be friends. He sorta gave up on Willow, Luz and Amity liking Matt. They're just NOT meant to be buddies. But he sees such potential for Matt and Hunter that he's determined to make them see eye-to-eye.

This probably involves so much shenanigans and plotting on Gus's end. It's a complete dumpster fire every single time but he never stops trying. He's locking them in closets and shit and forcing them to talk. This was a very bad idea because Matt is basically an annoying yappy little chihuahua who shits where he pleases and Hunter is a strictly trained rottweiler who will not attack unless he's ordered but if the yappy little chihuahua pushes enough buttons, on Titan he will tear the little bastard limb from limb. So it is recommended not locking them in a confined space together.

[gravityknife]

Adventures of The 144p Progenitor

Introduce: The Zeddnought Cruiser

Story #6

"Kaishu," Ryoma murmured.

Kaishu didn't answer, being absorbed in his studies of hyperspace warp capabilities and wormhole travel.

"KAISHU!" Ryoma roared then sleazed. "Get your fat, doodoo a$$ over here, bro!... I rolled us up this fat f$cking dooooob, bro!"

"Remember what dad told us?" Kaishu tried to remind Ryoma, mothering him in a way.

Ryoma jested, "Duh-who? Dee— ayy— how do you spell their name? Doesn't compute."

He and Kaishu chortled.

"Ryoma, you're receiving a transmission from the USF," Kaishu noticed. He didn't want to be rude and share his opinion, but it was of his opinion that Ryoma was being negligent of what's important, and he was thinking dad would've grounded him, literally.

Ryoma didn't care. Ryoma was already hardened from a few battles, run-ins with pirates and strays from outlying vessels, and his personal experiences back on Earth.

"They can wait, bro! Come hit this with me," Ryoma said, smoking his oversized joint and holding it in until he coughed it out. "Kaishu, come on, bro... dad and the... USF cop squad aren't even doing rounds here, bro." He chortled.

Kaishu looked on at Ryoma, smiling and frowning at the same time. He wanted to maintain the hope that Ryoma would change his ways. He turned away from Ryoma and went back to his studies, hugging his ears between his broad shoulders so as to ignore him.

Ryoma stared out the front of the cockpit and blew smoke at it. He got lost in thought, then remembered Ka'eo, for some reason, having a vivid vision of him cross his mind. He also remembered some of the space cadets Ka'eo knew and affiliated with who hated Ryoma, and Ryoma mutually hated them in return. He went from giddiness to a very linear, focused concentration. He thought to himself why am I thinking of Ka'eo? What the f$ck has that n$gga been up to, anyway? He's probably thinking of me, too. Ho, sup bah! What?! You in da kine, Planet Fitness?

Kaishu turned to look toward Ryoma, sensing some paranoia settling in. He knew what was going to happen next from Ryoma, having a good connection with his brother.

"Brah, f$ck the govern-meeennnt, brah," Ryoma pidgin-smacked, spitefully and humorously. He started his blow torch up again to relight the doobie.

Kaishu didn't bother saying anything, despite wanting to tell him again that they were lucky to be in a space ship after their dad pulled some strings to help them fly. Kaishu noted Ryoma's speech pattern meandering back to the Hawaii days. He thought of Ka'eo, briefly.

Ryoma spat, "Ka'eo would be jealous of us if he saw where we are now. Yeah, Kaishu? We're f$ckin' winning in space, bro! You, me, and the geek freaks." He chuckled to himself, then had a round of coughs.

Kaishu imagined the image that Ka'eo had designed in Photoshop from the high-school days. It was a space-themed edit of Ryoma's face, crossworked with glitchy effects. Kaishu had mixed feelings towards Ka'eo because of his brother, but his allegiance remained with his brother, Ryoma. After all, Ryoma and Kaishu survived together through the academy process, as well as through all the space battles.

"Don't say that, Ryoma," Kaishu said, quietly, in reference to the geek freaks comment. He chanced, "The geek freaks will hear us."

They both snickered together.

"But they are! Kaishu! They're f$ckin' freaks, bro. I love 'um, but they're weird! I saw Ruiz, the other day, full on picking his a$$ in the corridor. I was watching him on the live feed. Dude was doing that, then didn't wash his hands, and Jonah was sitting in the cafeteria room, when Ruiz walked in and he shook his hand, and sat down next to him like he didn't just shove his fingers in his butthole," Ryoma informed.

"That's gross, Ryoma," Kaishu said, looking at him with a slight grin on his face. Kaishu still wanted to know more. His brother was extremely good at making way for rumors in the form of good stories.

Ryoma resumed, "Yeah. Ruiz smells like a$$, bro! He's never taking showers, he just goes straight from his room to the commons, then goes and polishes his weeaboos in robotics. Stupid, fat f$ck, bro. How can he be Japanese and Mexican at the same time?"

Kaishu laughed at the sudden detour in Ryoma's focus. "That's so gross, Ryoma. And what's wrong with being Japanese and Mexican?"

"He's weird, bro! I hate his f$cking dumb name and his ripped a$$hole walk that he does around the ship. F$ck Ruiz, bro! Brah! F$ck Ruiz, brah! For real kines, brah!" He ranted, then shifted his mood into wonder. "Bro, what if—"

"Ryoma, stop," Kaishu said, going back to his studies. He telepathically relayed the worse that could happen onboard into his brother's opened mind.

"Yeah, I know," Ryoma said, leaning forward in his seat, clicking the torch button to relight again. He burnt his finger on the button. "F$ck!" He exclaimed to himself sourly, sucking on the tip of his finger, then wiping it on his pants.

"Ryoma, answer the transmission," Kaishu instructed.

Ryoma maneuvered his seat close to the cockpit control panel, sliding it into a locked position. "Kaishu!" Ryoma barked.

Kaishu ignored him, knowing he just wanted to get even for the seeming attitude of superiority. Kaishu looked up at Ryoma, innocently, to ease his anger.

Ryoma watched Kaishu with suspicious eyes, but didn't feel aggression. He then immediately turned himself toward the panel and completely engaged in the comms. "Alright, let's hook this fakka up, then! Hook 'um awp like this, riiight here, baddah, watch, Kaishu," Ryoma said to himself, scrolling the touch screen to the USF Communications board. He went silent, scrolling from one page to the next, trying to find the recent transmission. "Eh!" Ryoma amused.

"Ryoma, just hit the flashing button up top, and make sure you set it to the overhead speaker. I want to hear it too," Kaishu guided in a soothing tone.

"Eh, brah!" Ryoma chortled. "Was wondering, brah, how come dis ting no stay on my da kine, brah!" He laughed in weed-high. He flipped up a panel switch hood then switched a toggle, causing the above panel to jut out and ease down closer to him. It slightly blocked his view of the window, but now he gained more ease of access. "Deya we go! ... Braddah Kai-shuuuu!"

The transmission abruptly started, booming from the overhead speakers. It was a USF command ship officer hailing them and giving them a directive: Greetings, fellow earthling cadets. We've marked the MacKalla asteroid that has a space station located on it, the MacKalla T-Rover Space Station—"

Ryoma laughed then interrupted mockingly, "MacKalla T-Rooohhh-veeerrrr." His interruption ceased the broadcast automatically.

"Ryoma, quiet, let it go," said Kaishu. Kaishu had a quick premonition that troubled him, but he felt confident in his training, skills, and knowledge.

Ryoma continued to chuckle to himself, finding the names of space stations to be as silly as everything the government named on Earth.

The transmission resumed: Station, one that we established for the purpose of experimenting with biological, chemical, and geological findings, as well as engaging in the processing of biofuels and various chemical compounds. This station was—"

"Kaishu! We're f$ckin' pros at all that sh$t, bro! They're going to send us to a f$cking goldmine of opportunities, aren't they?!" Ryoma gushed.

Kaishu got annoyed and hushed Ryoma, telling him, "Ryoma, shizukani!" He pressed his index finger against his lips, rotating his seat left and right, focused down into his computer table.

Again, the transmission resumed: "Was recently located by a USOF-certified vessel named The 144p Progenitor. Their findings were disturbing, to say the least. There are no known humanoids aboard the station. We are ordering you and your crew to extract any remaining data from their Communications Array, preferably from a distance. If you can do this remotely, your odds of survival near the asteroid increases by 75%. Should you choose to land there, an unknown anomaly, traited as aggressive in its physical behaviors is present. You do not have permission to eliminate any personnel, nor the anomaly. If you understand our directive and are ready to embark, ping us your current location and transmit an approval message. Do be expedient. We thank you and your crew, Zeddnought Cruiser. Captain Raymond Borges, USOF Command, over and out."

"Over and out!" Ryoma mocked, saluting the ceiling. He impacted, "Broooo, he said, 'do... be... expedient!' Brooo, Kaishu," Ryoma relented in surprise. "What do you think that means?" Ryoma started to feel paranoid again, thinking they know I'm f$ckin' smoking the reefer. They're going to bust us! No, wait, positive vibes only. I do not accept the negativity of the USF patrol. They are not aligned with my path.

Kaishu laughed. "Ryoma, you're overthinking what the captain said. All you have to do is ping your location and transmit an approval of mission."

Ryoma flipped around in his seat toward Kaishu and cried dramatically, "No, Kaishu! I've never had to ping location before! Why do they want our location, bro? I think they're going to f$cking bust us! F$ck! Kaishu!" Ryoma was becoming very unchill. "No. Kaishu! What if we transmit the signal and then ping them when we're already at the asteroid? If we do that, we'll already be there! They won't bust us if we're already there, doing the space community and the USF of the cosmos... a great service, of course!" Ryoma dramatized, though his rationale was clear enough.

"Ryoma, we've had to ping our location before. We did that before surfing this spot, too," Kaishu consoled gently.

Ryoma paused to think, taking a serious look on his face. His eyes lit up, and he went manic. "You're right!! Kaishu. You're right!" He laughed in weed-high, "Ahah-ha-haa! Let's go, Kaishu!" He pushed toward the mission, focusing completely on the next destination. He mocked a professional tone. "We're going to MacKalla T-Rover! Pinging location now! Zeddnought Cruiser, up and out, Captain ah-ra-ra," Ryoma gushed, chuckling. "We're in the pipe! Expedient! In the pipe, sir! A smoking ten-four!"

"Five by five," Kaishu added, smiling, trying not to laugh.

Their ship's thrusters heated up and adjusted itself, yaw, pitch, and all angles, onto the safest course to the MacKalla asteroid. It boosted forward in great force.

[friendofhayley]

Sorry for the wait! I feel like I fell into a pit last month...a Marvel pit, that is. Sorry y'all, but in August all I read and rec was Tony-centric stories! Thank you to all the Team Iron Man writers out there! This fic rec includes 17 fics starring WinterIron, IronStrange, FrostIron, and Misc.

WinterIron

1. Still Waters by @tsuki-chibi | i love this author so much - Tony is a silver fox - why do people stand up for Wanda again? - AU of Ultron - 12k

James didn't know what to think when he stumbled across an older version of Tony Stark who claimed to be from the future. He had no idea that agreeing to help Stark to stop the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver would change everything.

2. Classic Sci-Fi by @notdoingsohot | Steve is a bad friend, but we knew this - Loki's a bro but not at all - '40's Bucky is cute af - all the feels - 18k

Bucky wakes up to Steve telling him he's lost his memory, but not to panic, it'll only last a few days. Easier said than done when the last thing Bucky remembers is fighting Hydra with the Howlies in WWII.

He tries to make the most of it however, and there's this guy... Tony Stark. It's pretty clear the guy hates Bucky's guts, which is unfortunate because god damn is he a sight.

He tries to figure out what he did to wrong Stark, but everyone just tells him he doesn't want to know.

3. Changing Fate by Wix | time travel - it's technically pre-slash but it's gay - everyone needs a hug - tried but true trope - 27k

Tony dies in Siberia under the hands of Captain America, but fate doesn't leave it there. He opens his eyes several years earlier amidst the threat of Loki's invasion and the first assembling of the 'Avengers'. Tony may not understand why he got this second chance, but he's going to do better with it - and he's decided that he's going to share it. With a Winter Soldier who could really use a different hand than he was dealt.

Never let it be said that fate doesn't have a sense of humor.

WinterStrange

4. List of Questions (Civil War Team Iron Man) series by izumi2 | this series is so fucking good - there are so many things that did not make sense in any universe that this fic fixes - listen, I wouldn't trust Team Captain America with anything - 28+ parts

Unrelated (or not) one shots. You can read separetely or as part of the same 'universe'.

'What if' situations where questions are raised and answered in an AU.

5. Another Way by @respect-tony-stark | this is literally such a slow burn and it's fucking great - this fic is a balm to my soul that never stops giving - Tony has mental illnesses that needs to be treated!! - #teamironman - 85k+

Everyone assumed things started to fall apart during their Civil War, but Tony could tell dynamics were off way before then. It started after Ultron. Tony was trying to hold onto the pieces just as much as everyone else, but maybe the team didn't want to as much as they thought they did. Tony just hoped that Steve and everyone else would get over Ultron.

Then Tony found out about a certain Winter Soldier and December of 1991. Tony wasn't irrational. He'd give Steve a chance to confess, but there were a lot more things wrong with their team than secrets. It was time for Tony to realize that.

6. A Second Chance (To Get It Right) by DobbyRocksSocks | this is what I wish Endgame had been - hindsight is 20/20 and it's delicious - the Steve & Tony interactions hurt - just crying about Aunt Peggy - 22k

Stephen knows there's only one way to win the war against Thanos. Tony wishes he knew what the hell was happening, and just how he's waking up in 2010 with JARVIS telling him the time and date.

7. Poison in My Veins by ArcticVulpix | listen, watching the What If...? episode right after this made me feel justified - JARVIS loves Sir so much - not SHIELD friendly because fuck them - also the reason why I went on a tangent while showing my partner Iron Man 2 - 2k

What if injecting Tony with an unknown chemical during the Palladium poisoning incident had more realistic consequences? After all, they couldn't know what medication Tony was on. And how it would react to their 'cure'.

JARVIS is not happy.

8. ironstrange vs. the rogues series by imposterhuman | feat. some juicy past-Stony - it's just great to see peeps take Tony's side - Rogues didn't realize how much shit Tony put up with to help them not fail as a team - #teamironman - 13+ parts

the rogue avengers return, only, tony isnt alone this time

9. Tony and the Neurosurgeon by ArcticVulpix | part of a great series [Anyone But Steve Rogers] - cw: mind control and sexual harassment - Clint is a bro - protective JARVIS - 10k

JARVIS would only accept the best for sir. So a doctor who can keep up with Tony's banter and with a high enough intelligence to understand him was pretty high up on the list.

FrostIron

10. Tears by Arabesqueangel | dying after getting rejected from soulmate AU - enemies to lovers - Thor: Ragnarok canon-divergent - Jotunn Loki is best Loki - 11k

Thor says they are headed to Earth. Loki is understandably dreading their arrival. It's not just his own actions on Earth the last time that are causing him pause. It's the knowledge that Tony Stark is his soulmate and he can never know... no matter how much it hurts.

11. Things That Are Never Meant by katling | Civil War canon-divergent - Pepper is a BAMF - Wanda is straight-up evil in this one - some people are OOC - 28k

When Tony Stark disappears from Siberia, the aftershocks shatter some people and rebuild others. And when Tony returns, nothing will ever be the same again.

12. Tony and the Trickster by ArcitcVulpix | bless this author for their fics - I just love the way Loki *clenches fist* tricks people - one-sided Stony - people stand up for Tony! - 6k

As usual, it started because Loki was bored.

Is there really any more else to say?

13. The Power of Faith series by Draysmeria | this series! is an epic amazing story - AU from Avengers to Endgame - FrostIron vs. the world - I love the pagan representation - 5 parts

Loki has been Tony's God for a long time and there was nothing Loki could do that would turn Tony away from him, even if he attempted to invade earth. Stronger together than apart they embark on a journey to rid the universe once and for all of their ultimate enemy Thanos. It is not always easy navigating heroes, villains and interpersonal relationships, but with the power of their faith in each other, everything is possible.

14. Proof That DUM-E Knows Exactly What He's Doing (And Why JARVIS Should Stop Bossing Him Around) by NamelesslyNightlock | this is mostly told from the POV of DUM-E - the bots care and love for Tony so much - enemies to strangers to lovers - idiots in love - 14k

When DUM-E touches something he shouldn’t and it makes someone new appear in the workshop, DUM-E doesn’t know why JARVIS gets so worried. Clearly, he and Loki are going to be the best of friends.

Misc.

15. you want a war? (you don't know what you're asking for) by graveltotempo | Pepper and Rhodey are salty - Tony isn't in this story - I love a #teamironman story about consequences - Aunt Peggy - 12k

“And now? Now you’ve all betrayed,”  Steve flinched at the choice of words, “Stark, and Potts and Rhodes are not going to sit and take it.”

Natasha frowned at the phone. “What does this mean for us?”

Fury laughed - an ugly laugh with no myrth in it. “It means that Potts or Rhodes are the ones who sent me this phone because they wanted me to contact you. They wanted me - and you - to know that they are with Stark, that they are the line of defence between him and us.”

16. Tony Stark Defense Squad series by ArcticVulpix - Pepper/Tony - I love seeing the Defenders and Fantastic Four interact with the Avengers! - Carol and Jessica Jones putting Steve back in his place - Aunt Peggy - 20+ parts

Tony has recovered in the year following the Civil War, with his friends' and new team's help. With the Rogues coming back though, those friends aren't going to let them hurt Tony again.

17. From Little Things Big Things Grow by katling | Iron Husbands - this story is super amazing and makes me angry at Steve - Defenders and Fantastic Four are in this too! - hey, Team Cap are assholes - non-canon character death - 32k

In a harsher universe, Tony Stark lets Clint Barton's comment in the Raft slide off him but what would happen if he didn't? What would happen if that comment was the straw that broke the camel's back? What would happen if Tony didn't go to Siberia? If he turned his attention away from the Rogue Avengers and looked towards others to help him protect the world and the universe, even if those others come in strange packages?

[alovesongshewrote]

Can you do a headcannon where the reader is one of the lords and is friends with Donna and Alcina and they’re both protective of her and Karl is just sooo in love with her lol

Oop- | Karl Heisenberg HCs

this got very out of control, i'm so sorry, holy shit

warning, this reads like a kid explaining their game of barbies to you.  

taglist: @mxcheese @blixeon @valentimmy @prismarts @chrysanthykios

Headcanons 

SO

YOU’RE A LORD (technically)

YOU’RE HOT AS HELL

AND YOU’RE BROS WITH ALCINA AND DONNA

and you can have whatever mold powers you want, it doesn’t matter, you never use them

You’re the chillest of the lords, and you were the last one to be mutated 

therefore 

Most people also assume that you’re the weakest 

Even though you aren’t, really

You’re actually full of sarcasm, wit, and self-defense skills

But it doesn’t really matter, it just means alcina and donna specifically are very protective of you

Which is actually kind of interesting considering you hate, and often butt heads with, Mother Miranda, who they both have at least some respect for

So

Every now and then, they kind of have to hold you back from attacking the woman who at first, referred to herself as your mom

She is not your mom, she experimented on you when you were like, 25

You were late to the lord party

And you already had parents

You didn’t want or need anymore

You genuinely just

Hated miranda

So much

To the point where you bit her, once

And it’s because of shit like that, that she doesn’t see you as one of her children

You’re kind of like the chaotic neighbor kid, who’s in her house all of the time and eats her food

The lords don’t really see you as a sibling either

And you don’t see them as sibs 

They’re just bros

Friends

You’re all having soft tacos for dinner

But yeah, you hate miranda 

You hate everyone else’s mom

Donna and Alcina don’t really love this trait of yours

But you know who thinks it’s hot?

Heisenberg.

Also, Angie, Angie loves it when you go feral on Miranda’s ass

But yeah, anyway, heisenberg 

Fucking adores that fact that you’ve more or less disowned miranda 

One time, you were at a meeting, and Miranda pulled the fuckin

“Remember from whence you came,”  bullshit

And you went

“Not from your witch-y plague rat ass, that’s for damn sure,” under your breath

And heisenberg fucking lost it

He had to cough for like

A minute to cover it up

You were mildly concerned that he was going to choke to death on cigar smoke, but Heisenberg

He had never been more attracted to anyone in his life

And like

That’s what it was at first

Attraction 

He just really liked your general spite for miranda that no one else seemed to have

And he liked your sass and sense of humor 

After miranda abducted you, heisenberg spent most of miranda’s meetings trying not to laugh at your various comments 

And once you notice that, you start trying to make him laugh

Much to Alcina’s dismay

Donna and Angie aren’t as upset over it, they kind of wanted to see where things would go

And like

Yeah

That was a good idea on their part

Because it grows from simple attraction 

Since you

Develop an appreciation for Heisenberg’s sense of humor 

And so

Naturally 

The two of you start to just

Hang out

Y’all vibe on the same level

It’s nice

To have someone who makes you laugh

And more than that, to have someone who gets you

Like

You adore Alcina and Donna, you’d die and kill for them

But they don’t always understand you

Heisenberg 

he might be a discount magneto/frankenstein who lives more or less alone in a factory on the edge of the village, but he fucking gets it, god damn it

And you

You really appreciate that

So the two of you form an attachment 

You see each other during the day, under the guise of him helping you with lord shit 

But you also rendezvous in the dark just to enjoy each other’s presence 

And build an army

And kiss or whatever

And you

You really enjoy it

You like being around him

And he likes being around you

ALCINA HATES IT THO

She does not approve of you hanging out with her “idiot brother”

She thinks he’s a bad influence both in the “he swears a lot” way and the “he hates mother miranda” way

She doesn’t want that rubbing off on you

Donna isn’t really jazzed about this whole Heisenberg thing either 

She doesn’t hate him, but like

She doesn’t think he’s good enough for you

See, where Alcina kind of wants you to join the family, become her sister, and take your rightful place as a true lord and child of mother miranda

Donna kind of wants you to escape

She can tell that you aren’t happy in the village

You aren’t happy being an experiment

And she knows that you would be better off somewhere else

She also assumes that if you get attached to Heisenberg, you’ll stay in the village whether or not miranda frees you

And while she’d love for you to stay, she knows that you’d do better elsewhere

She doesn’t want you to leave.  She doesn’t want to let you, but she knows it’s for the best.

but oh well, it’s not like she can actually do anything about it herself

If alcina asks, she might try to help, but really

She isn’t about to test the strongest lord on this one

ALCINA IS THO

SHE IS NOT ABOVE CORNERING HEISE AND FUCKIN

THREATENING HIM

It does not work very well

He refuses to stop seeing you unless you ask him to

So

Alcina tries to convince you that heisenberg suxs and you shouldn’t see him anymore

And that doesn’t work

So she

Is 

Grumpy 

Especially since you and Heisenberg are slowly getting more physically affectionate 

One time, out of the corner of her eye, she saw him kiss your hand

She was mad about it for like, a week

Yep.  she didn’t see ethan’s head, but she saw that.

Unfortunately 

She was not the only one to see the romantic shit

Angie also saw it, and she made fun of you relentlessly 

BUT ALSO 

MIRANDA NOTICED

AND SHE DID NOT LIKE THAT THE NEIGHBOR KID WHO LIVED IN HER HOUSE AND HER MOST POWERFUL SON WERE GETTING ALONG SO WELL

See, she’s not stupid

She knows that you and heisenberg are not her biggest fans

So

She needs to weaken you

And your alliance 

SO

SHE STARTS TALKING TO DONNA AND ALCINA 

BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THEY LOVE YOU

AND SHE’S LIKE

“Man, I sure do wish (Y/N) and Heisenberg would stop interacting, lol”

Im paraphrasing, but anyway

Donna and Alcina are on it

They’re ready to separate you by any means necessary 

Even if it means killing their brother

NOW

YOU MAY BE WONDERING 

AS I AM

WHERE THE FUCK HAS MOREAU BEEN THIS ENTIRE TIME

Well

He’s been on the sidelines 

Watching

Observing

And here’s the thing about moreau

You already know it

But he watches a lot of romance movies

So he was actually the first one to realize that you and Heisenbeg were into each other

See, he knows what love looks like on the screen 

And when it comes to you and Heise

Well, he could see it

He saw the longing glances, the gentle touches in passing

He knew

He didn’t tell miranda about it, tho

He didn’t tell anyone

He just kinda

Let you guys do your thing

Or he does until he notices that Miranda is displeased with it

At that point?

His loyalty to mother miranda trumps everything

He’ll get rid of the problem for her

Even if he has to kill you both to do it

NOW, MEANWHILE

YOU AND HEISENBERG ARE NOTICING THAT SOMETHING’S UP

SO ONE DAY, YOU TURN TO HEISENBERG, AND YOU’RE LIKE

“Hey, I know you’ve been planning your revenge for years at this point, but maybe we should just leave?  Because I think Miranda and her girl gang + moreau are planning something?  And I don’t want to be here when it happens?”

And his initial reaction is to yell at you, but you shut that down fast

“Look, I know what she’s taken from you, she took the same things from me, but honestly?  I think it would be safer if we left.  I mean, that’s revenge in itself, isn’t it?  Her strongest child leaving her?”

And he’s like

“Fuck, I guess?  But it doesn’t matter, she’ll be able to find us wherever we go.”

And i mean

Fair

But also

“Maybe.  But I think it would be worth it.  I want to get out of here, but I don’t want to do it without you.”

And he’s like

“:(”

Because of his metal army

So you’re like

“Y’know what, fine, you stay with the metal army, I’m taking a gap year.  See you around, man.”

So

You’re planning to fucking

Backpack around Europe 

Heisenberg is moping in his factory

And everyone else is planning to kill either you or Heisenberg 

So that’s fun

Like

Man, this is one hell of a fucking perdicament 

All out of one ask, huh?

Don’t worry

I know i’ve gone overboard, it’s almost over

Literally and fictionally 

Because heisenberg’s siblings all managed to fucking coordinate their goddamned attacks 

Fucking

Fantastic

And, even better

On the day they decide to attack, you decide that you might have been a bit harsh and you go off to apologize 

In short

FUCK

So, uh

By the time you get there

Alcina and Donna have already arrived

They’re out for blood

Heisenberg is confused

And you have no fucking clue what’s going on

So

You

Being the smart cookie you are

Walk right in like

“Ok, Heise, I know I was a little harsh earlier, and I wanted to say I’m-”

You get cut off by a super-sized claw impaling you through the side

You suddenly aren’t apologizing anymore

Suddenly you’re yelling

“aLCINA WHAT THE FUCK”

And she is

Mildly horrified 

Because oh, fuck, she wasn’t supposed to hit you

But she did

Oops

Thank god you’re a mold bitch, otherwise that might’ve killed you

Heisenberg acts like it did

Mf sees red and he fucking lunges at lady D

Donna would’ve stopped him, but she was too busy being concerned for you

So

Alcina and Heise start fighting again

Donna is concerned, you’re trying to recover

AND MOREAU IS ON HIS WAY

IN FISH FORM

I guess there was a pond nearby or smthn

Anyway

Moreau breaks through a fucking wall and starts spraying acid everywhere

And despite your recent impalement 

You manage to tackle everyone to the floor to avoid the spray 

No one is pleased with any of these developments

Alcina and donna do not like that you’ve been put in danger

Heisenberg is also very upset that you’ve been put danger

He’s also upset about his wall :(

And moreau

His head is empty, there are only fish thoughts inside 

So

Naturally 

An argument breaks out

Alcina and Heisenberg start yelling at each other

Angie is encouraging it while Donna grows more and more distressed 

And moreau is coming out of his fish form so he can yell, too

Everyone is yelling

Until you cut in

“EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW.”

They all shut the fuck up 

Which is good

It means you can get to the bottom of this fucking mess

“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ALL ATTACK HEISENBERG???”

“Well, Mother Miranda-” (Alcina)

“It was allllll Mother Miranda’s idea hehehehehehhehheehhe” (Angie)

“mOooo0ther” (Moreau)

And like

Yeah, that checks

So you turn to Heisenberg and you’re like

“See?  I fucking told you your mom was planing something.  She’s a bitch and we should leave.”

“You do not need to tell me she’s a bitch, I already know-”

“Still, we’re leaving.”

And then you look out at the lords and you’re like

“Hey, you know one way we could strip Miranda of her power while also being smart as hell?”

“?”

And then you pick up donna

Like

Full on 

Just fucking

Lift her

And angie

And you’re like

“We’re taking your siblings.”

Now

This plan is a little unorthodox 

And it earns a “WHAT???”

From both Lady D and Heisenberg

But then you fucking 

Manage to lift Moreau

And you walk out the door while yelling

“WE’RE TAKING YOUR SIBLINGS IN THE EMANCIPATION!”

Alcina and Heise have no choice but to follow you 

They have to know where the hell your head’s at

So they leave the factory to see you fucking

Piling donna, angie, and moreau into a car that you found at some point

And you’re like

“Ok, I know you have questions, but think of it this way.  How does Miranda control the village?  Through you guys.  And yeah, she could probably do it herself, but if she could, don’t you think she would?  And yes, she usually murders whoever tries to leave or… well, sends them to one of you, but that’s only because they ask her permission to leave.  We could always just… go.”

And alcina’s like

“But why would we want to?”

And moreau seconds that sentiment from inside the car

And you’re like, “Because she manipulated you into hurting me, lol.  Imagine if she got you to hurt the girls.  I mean… imagine what she could do to your girls in general...”

Alcina is immediately on board with your plan

Moreau isn’t, but you promise him there’s more cheese and romance content on the outside, so he agrees to go

Donna was always for you leaving.  She didn’t want you to leave, but she knew it was for the best.  If she can go with you, though, she’s down for it, especially since you have her siblings on your side, and a plan that’s just crazy enough to work

So

All that’s left is Heisenberg

And he’s like

Very torn up about this

Because on one hand, he knows he can’t stop you, and he knows he needs to go with you to keep you safe because otherwise Miranda will probably kill you, and even if she doesn’t she will kill him when she realizes everyone is missing

But also

Revenge?

Years spent on a metal army?

Murder?

You know he’s thinking of all of those things, so you fuckin

Cup his face in your hands and you’re like

“Hey, I know you wanted to get revenge on your bitch mom, but we have the rest of our lives to do that, and it’s safer to plot from the outside.  And besides, there are a fuck ton of people who deserve your wrath out there.  So… come with me?”

And he sighs

And he makes a big deal out of it

But he agrees

You kiss him quickly, and then you both grab your shit

You take everyone else to get their shit

(which includes the girls, lmao)

And then you fuckin

Leave

Miranda is left behind 

And yeah, she throws a bitch fit

She still kidnaps rose, but ethan gets her back easily without any lords standing in his way

And he lives

The duke laughs at miranda’s misery and takes control of the village

He also directs ethan to the “fuck mother miranda support group” 

Which is you, heisenberg, and sometimes donna

A year later, you grab the support group and go on a field trip to murder miranda 

Badda bing, badda boom, happy ending

SPEAKING OF

YOU AND HEISENBERG CAN FINALLY ACT LIKE A SEMI-NORMAL COUPLE

Y’all love it

Moreau kind of loves it (it’s like a very odd, very niche romance movie)

Donna loves it now that you’re free from the village, but she will not hesitate to murder heisenberg if he ever hurts you

THE DIMITRESCU GIRLS LOVE IT, YOU AND HEISENBERG ARE AWFUL INFLUENCES ON THEM AND THEY LOVE YOU

Alcina doesn’t really love it, but she can’t do anything

If heisenberg hurts you, though

She will kill him

AND THAT’S THAT ON A HAPPY ENDING 

[aceopmari]

If the Straw Hats Had a Reality Show Dedicated to Pirates Headcanon! Ft: Law!

With how infamous the pirate crew gotten, it was only natural that they were soon granted the rights to have their own reality show, like other famous pirates in the Grand Line and the New World.

Get ready for Keeping Up with the Straw Hats!

Luffy: Whether it was his strength, or his childlike innocence, Luffy was a fan favorite!

He often ignored the producers suggestions to make the show more interesting.

Luffy didn’t like when the producers told him to punch a random person on the street when they were visiting an island.

Was not getting paid, as he owed the producers over 10,000 berris for punching the camera one time in anger, when the director attempted to take his meat away. The director was only making a suggestion for a much healthier diet for the star of the show.

Luffy also skipped out on a lot of confessional sessions. Mainly because he really didn’t have much to hide to begin with. But if he did go, it was mainly to either show appreciation for his crew or to make public declarations:

“Sanji’s cooking the BEST!”

“Do we get free meat with this show?”

“I’m going to kick Mingo’s ass!”

Zoro: The viewers found Zoro amusing! Whether it be him constantly getting lost, or his heated arguments with Sanji. The producers would rush over to him, cameras and all whenever they caught the two together.

Zoro was surprisingly popular with female viewers. They enjoyed watching him sweat whenever he would work out in the crows nest.

Zoro didn’t care about the show really. Just as long as he gets to work out, drink booze, and sleep, he’s good.

The producers always looked forward to his confessionals after he fights with Sanji:

“That damn shitty cook! Just who the hell does he think he is?!”

“That curly brow dumbass is gonna get himself killed one of these days!”

Sanji: Was angry that Zoro was racking in more views from the female viewers than he was!

Why him?! Why not me?!

He kicked the camera man straight in the chin when he told him that Zoro was naturally more popular than he was.

Sanji desperately tried to win over the female viewers by showing off his fighting skills or his culinary expertise.

He was excited when he finally got some fan mail from the fans!

It turned out to be from the okamas though…

If Sanji went to the confessionals, it was usually to cry about why women weren’t interested in him…or to talk shit about Zoro:

“Just what does he have that I don’t on this show?”

“Why aren’t all the beautiful ladies watching me?”

Little did Sanji know, he caught the eyes of Violet and Pudding.

Nami: An absolute slut for the camera! The producers LOVED her!

One couldn’t tell who was using who more. All that mattered was what would bring them more views and more money.

Whenever it was filming time, Nami would purposely wear a bikini without the jeans to draw in the male viewing audience.

Add the extra seductive act she would put on, and nosebleeds would cover millions of transponder snail television screens.

Loved to give tours of the Sunny and show off her designer clothes.

Would parade around the islands, using Momonosuke as an accessory to manipulate the fans into loving her more.

Nami LOVED to take advantage of the fanbase, often subtly asking for gifts mainly money through the fan mail she receives. Next to Robin, she had the most.

Nami became very vain and strict with the crew on how to present themselves for the camera and had to keep members like Luffy in check to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid to cause the show to be cancelled. But just in case, as a backup, she could always start an Only Fans.

One might say that the fame and fortune was getting to her head, as she would purposely start up drama whenever she was out on an island. Would probably steal from a city mayor if it meant she could get the fans taking for weeks.

Whenever she was in the confessionals, it was mainly to complain about Luffy’s or Zoro’s antics.

Would probably shit talk about Robin, although faking it the whole time, to get some drama started:

“Honestly! I wish Luffy would just use some common sense for once!”

“Robin thinks she’s all that! But everyone knows, I’m the prettiest girl on the show!”

“I’ll let you film me in the bath. It’ll cost you 1 million beri!”

Franky: Loved the camera! One sided on the producers part since they didn’t enjoy Franky’s sense of…ahem…style.

He would dance, be loud, or show off his cool body.

If he was in the confessional room, it was to complain openly to the producers on why they did him dirty.

“Hey! I saw last weeks episode! Why did you cut my scene out, bro?!”

Ussop: Although not nearly as popular as Nami, Ussop was interesting enough to get some viewers watching the show, even unintentionally.

Ussop used the show to make himself seem cooler, mainly through the confessionals.

The lies he told caught the attention of viewers worldwide, though very few could sees past his lies.

The producers didn’t care, so long as there were viewers.

“Yes it was I! The Great Captain Ussop who defeated CP9!”

“Wait wait! Cut that out! Cut that scene out! I meant SniperKing!”

Chopper: The Worlds Favorite Cutie Pie!

Choppers looks alone were enough to win the hearts of viewers! Mostly the female reindeer mink.

Combine that with his child like innocence and he’s instantly a popular household name!

On top of that he already has many sponsorships from multiple sweet brands. (Mainly cotton candy ones.)

Choppers pretty shy on camera and often does his usual dance when he’s nervous. The audience eats it up.

He doesn’t gossip. When it comes to confessionals, he’s usually talking about Zoro’s recklessness when it comes to bandages, or Sanji’s nose bleeding habits.

Jimbei: Not particular interested in TV or fame, but used being on TV to his advantage to spread his word and try stop discrimination against fishmen.

The producers found him boring and didn’t look forward to filming him, especially at confessionals…but at the very least, he was able to bring in views due to his former status as a warlord.

Robin: Had many admirers! She enjoyed being on the show. Often is seen on screen on a lavish shopping trip with Nami.

She does her part to make the show more interesting, whether it is be her dark sense of humor or putting her devil fruit powers to good use.

She once used it on a producer when he asked her to do something suggestive for views. After that, the producers never messed with her again, out of fear for their lives.

Not much for confessionals though, except when she’s expressing how amused she is at Luffy’s antics.

She may appeared to be calm and quiet but you better believe that the rumors she would stir up, would get the people talking!

Piers Morgans was having a field day with the headlines:

“Did Cat Burgler Nami Get Breast Implants?!”

“Roronoa Zoro: Honorable Swordsmen or Man Thot?! Gets Caught Sleeping with Wano’s Most Beautiful Woman!”

“Is Monkey D Luffy, Secretly Seeing His Crewmates Sister From the Germa Kingdom?!”

Brook: Fans loved seeing Soul King on screen. In some episodes he’s either playing music or he’s attempting a panty raid in Nani’s room. Which often results in him getting beat up by her every time.

Anything he says in the confessional‘s ends up with his signature laugh.

Law: Made a special guest appearance since starting hiw alliance with Luffy.

You can imagine his look of surprise, when the crew showed up on Punk Hazard with a camera crew and all.

He wasn’t at all interested in being on TV. His famous “I hate bread” made him an instant fan favorite. And meme along the fanbase.

He didn’t like that…

Law hated being followed around by the camera crew on the Thousand Sunny or when he simply just wanted peace. He frequently scolded the producers to stop or told Luffy to call off the cameras, but neither listened.

He only wanted to discuss the alliance plans in private with the crew and didn’t want the producers to catch any of it for the world to see.

As time went on, and Law was getting sucked into the Straw Hat shenanigans. He found himself wandering into the confessional where he would frequently complain about the crew. Mainly the captain.

“Mugiwara-ya will be the death of me…”

“Rorona-ya has no sense of direction…”

“How has the crew survived this long? They don’t ever strategize when it comes to making a plan!”

Viewer Reactions:

Sabo: Enjoys watching his little brother on screen, and always has a good laugh. Koala would often scold him for abandoning his duties to go watch the show.

Hancock: Would briefly abandon her duties as Pirate Empress for the whole day if it meant, she could watch Luffy on screen.

Took up most of his fan mail, and gifts that had meat.

Hancock would be envious of Nami and Robin on her screen, wishing she was their with Luffy.

Mihawk: Reality shows weren’t his usual choice of television entertainment, but he did watch, soley to watch over Zoro’s progress as a swordsmen. He would lie if Perona asked him if he found what he saw the slightest bit amusing.

Ace: He got a kick out watching his little brother on screen. Often laughing at Luffy’s antics. He saw that Luffy’s crew was slowly riding in more views on the reality show The WhiteBeard Pirates had. Ace wasn’t too worried but he knew he had to step it up.

Shanks: Often shaking his head and smiling in amusement at the sight of Luffy on screen. Would sometimes watch the show with Ace as the two spoke fondly of him.

Big Mom: Was furious that Luffy was racking in more views than her crew combined. Everyone used to love Big Mom’s wedding cake special episodes.

“MUGIWARAAAAA!” *Smashes TV*

Garp: Nearly choked on his crackers at the sight of his crazy grandson invading his screen.

“LUFFY NOOOOOO!”

Smoker: If any marine soldier was caught watching, Keeping Up with the Straw Hats, you better believe that he’ll would be raised at HQ. in secret though, he would watch it. Not for entertainment, but more so to study the Straw Hats moves.

Buggy: Screeching out in jealously seeing Straw Hat Luffy was popular enough to be given his own show and not him.

Kid: Was sitting at a bar one night and spat out his drink in anger at the sight of Straw Hat on his screen.

Nearly popped a blood vessel when he saw Law on screen.

“The hell?! Even Trafalgar?! How come those bastards get their own show?!”

Killer remained silent. He knew the reason why the Kid Pirates never picked up the rights to a pirate reality show was because of how scary Kid was.

Dragon: Used the show as a way to keep up with his son. Although in secret, since he didn’t want his army to notice.

Germa 66: Mixed reactions.

“That’s no son of mine.” Judge would say.

Reiju giggled at the sight of the screen. After a mission, she would look forward to watching the show to see her brother.

Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji expressed annoyance and criticized Sanji. Although would never admit that they were each jealous that Sanji got to be on a reality show instead of the Germa Kingdom itself.

Yamato: Wants to be on the show. Not for the fame, but mainly to spread the word and tell the world what a horrible father, Kaido is and spread Oden’s legacy to the world.

[4ragon]

Any Simon Blackquill thoughts?

Bro you have no idea how many thoughts I have about Simon Blackquill.

I keep saying this, but I used to hate this dude a lot. I went into Dual Destinies with a lot of spoilers, but I hadn’t realized that Simon Blackquill was just a dude convicted of murder?? Prosecuting?? For some reason??? And again, DD was that game that really liked to stretch the limit of my tolerance. I get that they retroactively make it work like they do with every other ‘pushing the limits’ plot twist they’d take away at the last second, but at the time, it was just one more “Oh okay, they’re just going to not care about making sense” to add to the pile. It was stupid! And Simon was a mean asshole, I didn’t get him. I didn’t get why people cared about him. Sure his backstory was sweet but what was the point of what he was doing anyway? I didn’t get it.

And for a while after I finished Dual Destinies, that was kind of it. He was a frustrating presence, and he was boring and bland, and I didn’t care for him.

And then I replayed Dual Destinies with some friends, and I realized: Oh? Wait. This guy is genuinely kind of funny????

Like. Simon Blackquill is really funny. He’s funny! He talks like a fucking ye olde samurai for literally no reason, and the things he says make no sense. He switches rapidly between angry no-nonsense asshole and “Ah Yes Your Baldness That Man Is A Ghost” and then he just up and leaves in the middle of court to go for a walk??? Like. He’s unhinged and weird and I appreciate that.

So that was it, right? He went from Bland and Uninteresting to Funny. Maybe that was enough. Surely there wasn’t more to it than that, right?

Listen. You guys. I think Simon Blackquill is my favorite prosecutor.

He’s got all these layers to him. There’s this angry no-nonsense ruthless prosecutor, who is dangerous and scary, who threatens people who annoy him, who has this short fuse. And then he’s refusing to respect a single person he talks to like some sort of petulant, sulking teenager, calling the judge Your Baldness and lounging backwards at the bench and falling asleep during a very boring testimony. And he laughs at his own jokes even if they’re bad, and he loves that fucking bird so much, getting angry and menacing when someone said “Birdbrain” in a derogatory way. Guys, he was So Stoked To Kill A Whale. And for what??

And then you add into the mix the fact that he’s on death row for a crime he didn’t commit.

Like. How much of how he presents himself was a defense mechanism of a scared young man who had to pretend to be a ruthless murderer at all costs? He had to be this violent, scary monster because the moment he stopped was the moment the jig was up, the moment he failed. There was not a person alive who knew that he was innocent, other than Athena and the Phantom, and the fact of the matter is, there was no instance where Simon could let that facade drop even for a second, probably even for himself.

Like he had to have been terrified to let his guard drop with anyone. For one, as a man who was supposed to put criminals in prison, being this ruthless scary monster was probably his biggest defense he had in prison. And conversely he couldn’t even drop the act around people he trusted if he had any hope of convincing them he murdered his mentor in cold blood.

And he was so ready to die for Athena, too. He was so close to his execution. And he had to keep pretending, keep building these walls around his heart just to save one girl from taking the blame. He’s an asshole, and I wonder how much of that was a conscious effort to drive people away? How much of it was him not wanting to hurt people by getting close to them, and how much was him not wanting to hurt himself? I feel like he did desperately want to be saved, wanted to cling to life, was terrified of what was happening, but anything that could possibly give him that hope was also just as quickly going to damn Athena, and he couldn’t even let himself care about that, or about his own personal wellbeing, since after all, he himself was throwing all that away anyway. All he could do was cry in private, letting his tears stain his face but not even caring enough to wipe them away.

I’ve said it before, but the Simon who went to prison and the Simon who was released from prison had to be two different people. He spent so much time becoming the Twisted Samurai and facing his own mortality that so much of who he was had to have been warped and twisted just to survive, just to keep himself together until he could be sacrificed for his mentor’s child.

There’s clearly so much trauma wrapped up in him. And yet there’s still this twisted humor that he thrives on. He fucks with the other inmates by greasing the floors, he asks Apollo if he wants to come back to his prison cell for the night for Some Fucking Reason and then has to write fucking Lines like a middle schooler. He’s trying to squeeze all this humor out of his shitty taste of freedom as he hurls himself off a cliff, while still being an uncooperative asshole to everyone around him.

Shit, dude, I love Simon a lot. I love characters clinging so desperately to these facades they create to protect themselves. I love characters who are so desperately lonely and still lash out to keep people away from them. I love it. I love it so much.

And I love that he’s a little more chill in SoJ. He’s reconnecting with some old friends, eating at restaurants he used to love. He’s still spending time with Athena and growing past the horrible shit he’s been through. And he’s still this smug, uncooperative asshole, butting heads with anyone and everyone he physically can, but there’s no longer that air of “A dying man recklessly wringing everything he can out of the last year of his life,” now he’s just enjoying being an asshole. And you know what? I think he’s earned it.

There was an artbook or something that described pre-prison Simon as polite and reserved. I do like to think there was a mischievous side to him too, especially given the fact that he had someone like Aura as an older sister. But he was just a polite, gentle soul who had to twist himself into something horrible just to get through to the other side. And now he gets to heal and grow, and get a new chance at life that was taken from him for seven years.

Shit. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown to care about this shithead.

[takemealivelh]

midnight city || gang!luke

gang!luke, rival gangs, mentions of drugs, alcohol and violence. smut. 2k. part 1.

feedback is appreciated

he wiped the blood off his knuckles. the feeling of beating the shit out of someone is a rush of adrenaline. it’s like getting high on coke, but he doesn’t deal with that shit. he’s known many people who do hard drugs and then end up in trouble, or dead. he appreciates his life so much. luke likes being the leader of the diamond forsaken. a mafia that dedicates its time to drug transactions and occasionally prostitution. luke doesn’t fuck with that either, at least not recently. he met this girl in a bar and he’s been thinking about her for over a month. they’ve been on a few dates, and the sex has been great. she has a great sense of humor and he can tell she’s got street smarts, which he likes. he couldn’t fathom the idea of being with someone who gets scared about his job.

“you good, bro?” ashton, luke’s right-hand man, looks over at the bruises and leans against the sink of the bathroom, lighting a joint. their day is done and it’s time to go party. luke beat the shit out of a dude who didn’t give them their money and he threatened to go to the police. there was no way they would let him leave the storage unit without a warning. luke choked the man and broke a few ribs. he’s used to the job. it’s not like he was always like this. he used to have big dreams about forming a band and become a good musician. but he fell into the wrong crowds, and now here he is. dealing drugs and other sketchy businesses. everyone in la who knows about their mafia, knows not to fuck with them. they would end up dead. the police don’t do anything, they know how dangerous they are.

luke dries his hands with a paper towel and runs his fingers through his golden locks. “yeah,” he says. he’s never walked out of a fight with anything more than a few bruises. he does boxing on his free time, so he knows how to throw a lethal punch, and knows how to avoid poor kicks.

“i heard the grey lilies will be there tonight. i swear to fucking god those girls... i would bang every single one of them, but... you know...”

the grey lilies were a girl gang. they dealt drugs, too. that’s why they were a rival to the diamond forsaken. they never got into a physical fight, but there were many times they were about to. having the best clients was a problem for the male gang, but at least they had more people wanting their goods. but still, luke was pissed that they had a quality over quantity problem. he’d grown accustomed to the luxurious lifestyle. a good place to live, the most delicious takeout, and fancy cars. 

“for real?” luke looks over at his friend. he hides his excitement. sure, the grey lilies were trouble. but their top dealer, jackie, was the most fascinating creature he’d ever seen. their dates had been fun, exciting, thrilling. the idea of a secret hookup with their enemy was another rush of adrenaline. one that he actually preferred, if he was being honest.

- 

it’d all started at one of the parties. luke knew jackie, or at least he knew her face and what she did for a living. he was jealous she did so good with clients. she was charming as fuck. they didn’t mean to show up at the same place at the same time, but sometimes the gangs coincided. “did you get the dresnners?” she’d asked him as she took a seat on the stool next to him. her caramel-colored hair was in a ponytail and her eyeshadow was pastel blue. she wore ripped jeans, an oversized white t shirt, and high-heeled boots. the look suited her. she looked like the vocalist of an 80s inspired punk band.

luke scoffed. he knew what she meant. they had been fighting over the dressners for weeks and they decided to go with the grey lilies. that night, the diamond forsaken got blackout drunk. “no, but you did.” he finally said, looking down at the glass of vodka in his hand. 

“yeah,” she chuckled and ordered a beer. luke had always thought jackie was pretty interesting, but they’d never talked. not much, at least. just a few words here and there, mostly passive-aggressive shit. but the bickering was also part of the job. that night, though, that night neither felt like fighting. they were already buzzed. jackie took a swig of her beer and looked at him. “you wanna go outside? i got a joint. it’s legit shit, this.” she smiled.

it’s not like he frowned, but something among those lines happened. but fuck it, he thought. “sure. lead the way.”

they went to the terrace of the bar and lit up the joint. luke coughed a little and she laughed.  “i told you it was legit.”

-

luke and ashton walk into the club like the kings they are. everyone stops to look at them. but shortly, they resume their activities. which mostly consists of getting drunk and high. the two men make their way towards their usual booth. michael and calum are already there. calum’s with his girl. a black beauty who gives incredible head, his words. luke takes a seat and drinks the beer in front of him, swiftly drifting off the conversation to look around. he hasn’t seen the grey lilies, but he hopes they get here soon. bathroom sex sounds good right now.

“how was the guy?” michael asks as he throws a couple of fries into his mouth. ashton tells him that luke did a good job in silencing the motherfucker. “three ribs? man, that’s dark. but cool.” he laughs.

everyone seems to stop talking again, and luke shifts his gaze towards the door. the grey lilies have arrived. they look like a grunge band. their leader, lea, wears combat boots and net tights. but his eyes are focused on the girl whose moans keeps him up at night.  she looks gorgeous in that oversized that jacket that seems to swallow her whole, but still barely covers her ass. he wonders if he looks okay, sexy. he didn’t have time to change, and he hasn’t shaved in a few days. his motorcycle jacket has a few stains, but at least they’re not blood.

jackie finds him staring and she puts on a smirk. she pats the pocket of her jacket to let him know that she’s got weed on her. they rarely ever not get high together. that makes her wonder if this, this between luke and her, is just a side effect of the drug. but she doubts it. she actually likes him, even if she despises his friends. they all seem idiotic to her. luke notices the action of her hand and he immediately looks down at his drink. “imma go to the bathroom.” he announces, even though no one is hearing. they’re too into the story about the miami trip calum and his girl took last weekend.

luke stands up from the booth and snakes through the crowd. he catches a glimpse of jackie, who’s making her way towards her regular booth. “meet me outside in five,” he texts her. he watches her check her phone and smile down at the screen. 

-

“they’re gonna kill us if they see us together,” jackie says as she pulls out the joint from her pocket. she knows the grey lilies hate the diamond forsaken. they think the other gang are all egocentric assholes. she used to think that, too. but she met luke. and he’s actually a sweet guy. he’s really smart, too. the strategy they use to get more clients astounds her. but it’s nice to know that the grey lilies have the better clients.

luke watches her light up the joint and he leans against the wall outside of the club. it’s dark outside and the air is cold. there aren’t many people in the terrace, but he doubts anyone will say anything about them being together. getting high together. “then we’re just gonna have to keep it a secret.” his smile is shy, and jackie thinks he’s the most adorable man. even if he has bruises on his knuckles from probably beating up some shady guy. she passes the joint and luke takes a drag. “you wanna come to my place later? i got some cds i wanna show you.” they’re both big music nerds, and he loves that. they sit on the floor of his room, high out of their minds, and they listen to oasis, jane’s addiction and red hot chili peppers. 

“i don’t know. lea wants to do some kind of after party tonight. and i kinda want to be there.”

luke nods his head, he’s sort of disappointed, but it is what it is. he knows the gangs come first. it’s all about loyalty. that’s why he’d be fucked if anyone of the diamond forsaken members came out right now. but he knows they don’t smoke, except for calum occasionally -rarely, actually. so he’s not worried. 

“come here,” jackie smiles as she plays with the zipper of his jacket. they’re incredibly close and she can feel the smoke coming out from luke’s mouth. she kisses him softly, licking his bottom lip. with eyes closed, luke feels stars bursting inside his lungs. he really likes her. “give me that,” she orders and he hands her the joint.

they keep smoking until there’s nothing left and they stare into each other’s eyes. jackie isn’t one to maintain eye contact, but she feels safe with luke. even if he’s forbidden fruit.

-

the men's bathroom is empty. they had to sneak in so the others couldn’t see them. luke made an excuse about going to the bar to get more drinks even if the counter was crammed. jackie said she was going out for a smoke. it’s all hands and sloppy kisses as they lock the door of one of the stalls. luke bites his lower lip as his back is pressed to the white door and jackie drops to her knees. “you gonna make me feel good?”

“imma make you feel so good, baby,” she grins and unzips his pants. he’s already hard from all the making out in the terrace. so it’s not surprise that his cock springs up as soon as his briefs are pulled down to his thighs. jackie licks the tip and he shudders. he’s gotten a fair amount of blowjobs in his life. the first one from one girl that attended his school and she thought he was going to be a musician one day. but nothing compares to jackie’s mouth. her tongue slides down his length and he closes his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. she’s ecstatic that she can make him squirm in front of her. she likes being in control, even if it doesn’t always happen. luke can be pretty dominant in the bedroom. taking her from behind roughly and choking her. jackie puts his cock in her mouth and she starts bobbing her head to the rhythm of the loud bass coming from the other side of the bathroom door. luke appreciates the little detail. his senses are heightened and it feels like she’s one more instrument adding to the song.

“fuck,” he curses under his breath as he feels the tip of his dick hit her throat. she takes him in so good. she’s an angel. luke looks down and he sees her eyes staring up at him, a subtle smirk on her lips. “you’re- you’re-” he’s trying to say something but his brain doesn’t work. the pleasure is too intense. he hits his head against the door and closes his eyes once again. he’s about to cum. exactly at the same time he hears someone come into the bathroom. fuck. “stop, stop,” he whispers to jackie and cups her face to get her off his dick. she looks through the slit of the door and sees someone she recognizes washing their hands.

“shit,” she mouths. “michael.”

-

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[flowerflamestars]

Let's ask the hard questions here, baby. What do you think the series would have been like had it been Nesta Archeron under the mountain?

BABE this is it-this is the best question I’ve ever been asked. 

For one thing, chaotic. For another: I think the simple substitution reframes the whole structure of the narrative. It’s not about a journey to power that fights Evil Tyranny (abused Human to Hero to High Lady).

It’s a story about the people working around, beside, under the powerful Lords- and the difficult choices they make. Less Hero’s Journey more, Look, These Are the Real Heroes.

Let’s start with Spring. We know now that the whole you killed a faery now you have to come to faeryland thing was an insanely shitty ruse. So maybe Andras is still alive. Maybe Feyre killed him and Nesta successfully protected her sisters. Maybe Tamlin is just a twat and went that one is pretty. ANYWAY-

Nesta gets to Spring. Lucien doesn’t immediately despise her, for, you know, murdering and skinning his only friend (a handy sublimation of the anger he can’t express against his High Lord). Nesta was raised in the fucking gentry and Nesta can play the game- it’s a question of willingness.

Feyre is a lot more willing to roll with weird circumstances for caution.  Nesta is, to her bones, an aggressor. Empty manor doesn’t add up? She’s going to say something so cutting, and so infuriating to Tamtam she ends up seeing all the faeries. She steels herself, refuses to be afraid of Alis, and asks questions. (See, Nesta’s first IC dinner, zeroing in on the scariest faery and refusing to flinch)

At some point, there’s a confrontation. 

But it’s not between Nesta and Tamlin. Now, in canon Tamtams is extremely willing to drag his feet on the curse. In this version, that is so much worse- sure, he’s into Nesta (Nesta, recall, just looks like sharper Feyre), but Nesta takes one look at this fragile immortal man child and roasts the shit out of him. What’s he going to do? Kill her? Negates all the stupid trouble he went to. Punish her? He clearly needs her for something.

Tamlin cannot handle that. There are no Romantic Moments. Nes spends calanmai watching faeries do weird shit out her window. She sure as fuck doesn’t drink faery wine and dance for Tamlin at the solstice. It is not happening.

 So Nesta spends a lot of time alone, wandering around. Talking to Lucien, Alis, random-ass faeries out of sheer reckless ego, reading every book in the ugly manor.

Nesta confronts Lucien. I’m going to go with after the wingless dead faerie and the head in the garden. The stupid blight conversation.

This works differently and better than Feyre’s attempts to get more information for I think, two important reasons. 1) Lucien and Nesta speak the same language in acotar. It’s all anger babes- sharp edged, sexy, bullshit. There’s no cycle of forgiveness then softening- they are the same, too the same, tired and self-hating survivalists bored out of their minds in a gilded death trap. 

and 2) Nesta and Feyre are quintessentially perceived differently. Feyre is hopeful- tenacious, young, free. She shakes up things for these old ass faeries and gives them something to believe in. It’s youth for the eternally young. 

Nesta...is not that. She gets under your skin, forever. Multiple faeries meet her throughout the books and have very extreme reactions to that- but what matters at this point, as a mortal- Nesta reads as an adult. She’s immune to glamour. Her strength isn’t kindness or an open heart, it’s fucking steel that might take your last breathe.

And look, Lucien would respond to that. Tamlin...isn’t even talking to the girl his people died to get him. The curse is almost over and they’re all going to get tortured. Nesta, has, from day one, known something is wrong- she’s so angry, and it makes it easier for Lucien to be angry.

It’s not hunting bros who become Real Friends, it’s fire and gasoline. Empowerment.

So, I haven’t read acotar in ages- but I’m pretty sure they literally couldn’t tell her about Tamlin’s curse. But Lucien can communicate around the magical fuckery- there’s a great evil. The kids in Winter are all dead because of another High Lord. 

And look, Nesta cares about dead kids. She even, begrudgingly, cares about Lucien. She does not give a single flying fuck about the High Lords.

But Lucien, in this world, is the first one to say it: Hybern. 

Amarantha is Hybern’s general, and Hybern wants all of Prythian. All of it. 

Nesta is absolutely going to walk into the fire to keep the humans- and by extent, her sisters- safe from faeries. 

Tamlin- because he does not love Nesta- doesn’t send her away. Doesn’t crush any savage hope Lucien harbored, doesn’t do shit. He gives up.

And so Spring is dragged beneath the Mountain.

Nesta has exactly two advantages on her side: she can see through glamour, so she’s not 100% disoriented and vulnerable (just..you know, terrified), and sheer force of will.

Amarantha likes will. She likes to break it, and there are so few real contenders left after her victory. 

Nesta doesn’t bargain- Nesta doesn’t beg for Tamlin’s life and love- she asks to win her own. 

Amarantha wants to crush her like a bug. Insignificant little human- but wouldn’t it be more fun to watch each little crack form?

So she gets the riddle. Tamlin’s power is thrown in like the boring chekovs gun that it is. Lucien (probably) gets beat up because Lucien always gets beat up under the Mountain. 

Nesta has two choices: she can answer the (stupidly cliched, easy) riddle right there, and try to walk out. (Nesta knows she’s not making it out alive). Or she can wait, and play the game. (She’ll be damned if she doesn’t take that insane bitch and maybe Tamlin down with her. Her only ally is Lucien and he’s being hauled off with a bleeding headwound soo..)

Nesta lets herself be dragged away. She doesn’t fight. 

Let us remember again, that the Archeron sisters are built like a triptych. A presumable almost mother maiden crone. They look alike, especially Nesta and Feyre. If Rhysie boy thinks Feyre is hot at first glance, guess what he also thinks about Nesta?

So, yes, of course he goes to offer a deal. And let’s be clear on something- when Feyre hated Rhysands guts, what did he like about her? That she was beautiful, absolutely didn’t give a fuck, and what’s that? Fought with him.

She lets him heal her, but then- Nesta won’t even talk to him. Nothing he does works. They come to agreement (which Rhysand finds fascinating, a human with loyalty, that human heart) that Nesta will listen to Rhysand’s offer if and when, he delivers to her a whole, safe, Lucien Vanserra.

Rhys frames this as emotional torture. Incentive. He doesn’t need to play evil as well- Nesta hates fucking faeries. And she knows he killed a bunch of children. 

So Lucien gets thrown in the cell. Minimally healed. About to embark on the misery train, self-deprecating laughter at the fact he’s healed, now, because of Nesta. 

Lucien: so nice of you to make sure we’re all pretty before we die, Archeron. Final night spent huddling for warmth together?

Nesta: Shut up. Shut up- tell me why the fuck Rhysand would be trying to make a deal with me.

They come to the conclusion that, while Rhysand is a monster, he also has no control of his own. He’s completely under Amarantha’s thumb, and apparently, wants out.

Nesta, because she always goes for the jugular, has another thought: Are you really going to go back to Spring after this? He gave up. He gave up and you were rotting in a cell.

Lucien, to whom Nesta is both gasoline and mean friend catnip, but who is also a Sad Boi: where else can I go?

So they make a plan. Rhysand thinks Nesta is the key to killing Amarantha? Cool, Amarantha needs to die. Tamlin is the only High Lord who has access to his power more readily? Tamlin needs to do the killing. 

What does Nesta want? There to be no Hybern coming to burn the land where her sisters live. To go back, to go home- but Nesta doesn’t think, even for a second, she’s really going to make it out alive. And if she does, as she thinks late at night, of Feyre’s laugh, or Elain’s quiet humor- how will it ever be safe? They live on the Wall.

Nesta is known to faeries now- Nesta is infamous, and there’s nothing to stop anyone, should her presence lead them back to her home.

Nesta privately decides Tamlin should die too.

So when the time comes, and Rhysand is like, I’ll protect you, you’ll be mine and you’ll be healed- Nesta says no. Nesta, because she really has never learned to back down- looks dead in the eye of the High Lord of Night, the monster who sleeps beside Amarantha and says: safe passage.

She’ll do what Rhys wants, for this: Lucien Vanserra’s safe passage to a safe place, and for Rhysand to promise not to get in her way when she answers the riddle.

Rhys still wants her to come to the Night Court- for whatever nebulous reasons he wanted Feyre to...which only make sense AFTER she’s changed by the High Lords...which Rhysie couldn’t have known, BUT ANYWAY- Nesta says yes. She doesn’t expect she’ll be alive to pay.

Lucien sulks back to Tamlin’s side, and spends a few weeks between challenges laying it on thick. A quiet whisper that grows, a perfect stroke to Tamlin’s volatile ego. How dare Amarantha, how dare Nesta- Tamlin is a Lord, Tamlin is Spring- Tamlin, who has suffered so much more than the other Lords, deserves his power back. 

Nesta is dragged out for the final challenge.

In one of the long, dangerous hallways, her guards look the other way for just a moment- for a visitor. The High Lady of Autumn knows her son is safe because of this girl. 

She hands Nesta a knife. A small gift- all she can. Steel, not ash, small enough it will go unnoticed.

Nesta is dragged before the throne, before the High Lords, Tamlin and Amarantha, Rhysand.

Nesta answers the riddle.

And when Amarantha refuses to abide the rules- Tamlin, carefully manipulated without coordinating by both Rhys and Lucien, goes apeshit.

This does not stop Amarantha from hurting Nesta. The opposite- she’s trapped in the fight between them. When Amarantha does give Tamlin over the power, it doesn’t stop- unloved by even a human, and now she’d take any chance he’d had to win her as he really was.

Nesta doesn’t stab Amarantha. Nesta lays there, bleeding to death, biding her time.

Tamlin murders Amarantha. Rhysand doesn’t beg, but he’s there, getting growled at by Lucien as he tried to staunch Nesta’s wounds.

Amarantha dies, and Tamlin, glowing with power, makes his way to Nesta. They think he’s going to heal her- to try, but Tamlin is Tamlin, so he pulls her into his arms.

Nesta, who knows she’s going to die- Nesta, who was taken from her home, her family, deprived of her life by the choices of this man- Nesta lets Tamlin embrace her, the arrogant, stupid bastard, and stabs him in the throat.

It is the golden, desperate words of Lucien Vanserra that convince the High Lords to heal her. It is Rhysand who tries first, who gives the most. After all- Tamlin had been too selfish to try, and they’d all suffered for it. Faery justice: swift and bloody.

Nesta had died victorious. Nesta died with a bloody autumn court dagger in one hand and the grip of her only real friend in the other- but death was chaos. Skies and stars and howling wind, love and blood and war.

A thousand miles away, Cassian awoke screaming, clawing at his own chest.

She climbed through blood and battle, dreams and hope, floated to an infinite sky: and found herself alive.

Breathing, whole, an immortal monster. On her way to the Court of Night with Lucien by her side. 

[jangofctts]

girl ngl I sometime just need to know absolutely random fun facts about the boys who rule my life now. like ABSOLUTELY random fun facts. do any of them despise beans? like what are their fashion sense? do some of them take prescription meds? what type of humor do they have? what's their fav type of grass? do any of them actually have bad eyesight but refuse to wear glasses? WHERE ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN FUSSY BABYS? WHAT ARE THEIR SHOWER ROUTINES? you could tell me how they sneeze and id be elated.

I’LL GIVE YOU RANDOM FACTS AND SOME ANSWERS DHDJNDND

brusier doesnt hate beans, he’s just coNFUSED by them. like he has nO clue where they come from and he just...it keeps him up at night shsjsn

when the whole squad was first deployed they were sent to Dantooine and after the battle they all layed in the grass, coulding stop touching it bc it felt so weird and different to them

sweets was one of the fusiest babies/cadets dhdjbd he would always wander off or throw fits about certain things like the way his socks touched his toes, shit like that. he is on the autism spectrum and so his brothers made SURE to not let the kaminoans find out/give them a reason to send him to reconditioning or to termination

when the squad had enough down time max would make all the boys read a book or something and sat them all down for family read time ehsjsbsn. it never went the way he planned, bruiser always ended up falling asleep while kami would bicker whith his bros

fuse is TERRIFIED of the ocean. it was pure torture growing on kamino, and he’s embarrassed to admit it

kami bites his fingernails when he’s stressed

max is a TERRIFIC singer and always used to wake his brothers up by singing really loudly dhdjdb

blanche showers really early in the morning and void showers really late at night. the other boys usually shower midday

for some reason fuse is REALLY good at making caf. even shitty caf he manages to make it taste pretty good

jaws picks up instruments super quick. like if you teach him how to play a simple song on a piano or smthn he can usually replicate it without actual practice

blue always tends to stand on the side where you cant see his scar/cybernetic eye. he’s not exactly ashamed of it, but he doesnt like when people oggle at him

void hATES needles which sounds wild bc he’s a medic but liSTEN. he’s fine with needles, doesnt mind injecting people or whatever, but if HE has to get a shot? nO sir he dont want that shit anywhere near him

blanche LOVES the snow. it’s just so fascinating to him and even though it’s cold, he likes going to ice planets

[letthefrogsbe]

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

[ratsoh-writes]

Random horrorfell!

Sarcastic and dark humor just doesn’t sit right with rust after the famine. Instead he’s replaced it with the most cheesy dad jokes! It drives noir mad of course. The absolute worst is when rust is feeling especially obnoxious. Then he’ll twist anything noir says to ‘your face is _’

For example: “Sans, Go Feed The Cats” “your face is a cat” “THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE” just juvenile stuff like that. It really does annoy noir, but at the same time he can’t help but to subtly encourage it since it means his brother is showing his goofy side again

It looks like having doomfanger was just fate. Noir still found her underground of course, and against all odds, this cat managed to survive the famine, went missing a few months before the barrier fell, and came back looking like something had tied her up in the basement and taken bites out of her every few hours. But she still survived. What a mad lass

In this timeline, doomfanger is much more territorial, so rust never adopted bones, but doomfanger is also extremely protective of both skeletons, so she’s showering him in that cute kitty affection anyways

Besides yoga, noir also got into art. His favorite medium is acrylic and he does beautiful landscapes of the surface. The horrorfell home has a specific summer colored theme with paintings all over one large wall in any space available

Due to his bad knees, noir has to wear leg bracers. On boring days, he’ll paint the large flat plastic part that goes over the front of the leg just to spice it up. On really bad pain days, he needs to use a cain. Never ever tease noir about this. He will hate you

When rust recieved his head injury, it took his sight in one eye, his sense of smell, some hearing, and misaligned his jaw. For a long time he was non verbal because it caused him too much pain to speak. Surgeons were able to mostly fix his jaw, but rust still prefers to speak through sign or writing

Rust also has these adorable half moon glasses that he wears whenever he needs to read something. It makes him look like a little grandma.

Something about rust screams safe and cuddly to kids. They absolutely love him. It’s petty common when him and noir are out and about to have little toddlers run up and demand to get picked up.

The horrorfell brothers are just as close as the horrortale bros, and while neither of them necessarily will need 24 care for the rest of their life, they most definitely never want to separate. Any SO or sibling who butts in better accept that they’re making the household bigger, not splitting it

The last main thing noir does is gardening. He’s an avid gardener, and does his best to produce as much as possible. Fresh ingredients are the best ingredients after all

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #840: Buck Cluck is the Worst (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

8:45 p.m. at the Smash Mansion's Living Room.......

TV Screen: (The Credits of the Chicken Little Movie starts rolling)

Hades: Well, that was a hour and a half wasted.

Sephiroth: ('Sigh') Agreed. This....just might be the worst movie I've ever seen so far. (Turns to Pichu) What do you think, son?

Pichu: (Starts Yawning While Stretching and Rubbing his Eyes) Pika Pi......

Sephiroth: (Chuckles Lightly) Yes. You're right. This was a snore fest indeed.

Ganondorf: Couldn't say it any better myself really.... It was train wreck....(Turns to Bowser) What do you think, Bow....ser?

Bowser: (Already Enraged) ........

Ganondorf: I.....take it you're not fond of this movie either, aren't you?

Bowser: No. I'm not fond with it one bit.....And it's all because of that BITCH MOTHERFUCKER NAMED BUCK!!!

Hades: Seriously? THAT'S your only problem you have with the movie? What about all the times the town's folks kept bullying that Chicken Little kid to oblivion till he managed to save them all from an alien invasion?

Ganondorf: Or the fact that most of them are just terrible to begin with?

Sephiroth: Or the fact the entirety of movie's soundtrack was subpar at be-

Bowser: Yeah yeah. I know. Everything else from the movie sucks. But Buck.....He's the motherfucking worse....

Hades: What? You're not gonna make a pun out if his name or something?

Bowser: ('Tch') Please. That bastard doesn't deserve my sense of humor.....

Ganondorf: ('Sigh') Alright. Just calm down for a second, Bowser. Tell us why exactly do you hate Buck that much?

Bowser: The answer's obvious: He's a shit father! That guy did nothing but let the whole town mess with own son and didn't even have the courage to stand up for him! Only worried about what they think than being an actual parent!

Sephiroth: Hm....Now that you mentioned it....I do find his cowardice behavior to be rather frustrating at times.

Pichu: (Nodded in Agreement) Pika Pi.

Bowser: Right!? And the only time he shows his kid actual love and care is when we won some stupid baseball game. And even THAT was short-lived once something was actually going on with town afterwards and he went back to treating him like crap!

Ganondorf: But wait. Didn't he helped Chicken Little in the later half of the movie?

Bowser: He did. But it doesn't feel like he genuinely wants to help or support him to me, he probably did all of that just so he can make himself feel better after the kid finally stood up to him. Hell, I wouldn't even be surprised if he goes back to asshole after this.

Hades: Well, the movie isn't getting a sequel anytime soon. So..... that's a plus.

Bowser: ('Sigh') Yeah. I'm happy for that.....Still hate the guy though.

Kazuya: (Shrugs) He could've been worse. He could've just throw his son off a mountain.....or volcano.....or just tied him up in a rocket ship and send him to space.....or send him to space himself by tying him up, kick to the atmosphere, and let him fall down to Earth in a meteorite fashion.

Bowser: (Eyes and Mouth Widened in Shocked, Frightened like Fashion) Y-Y-You're old man d-didn't really do all of that, did he?

Kazuya: Other than throwing me off a mountain and volcano, I can't say that he have. But he told me he was daydreaming about sending me to space to die. So there's that.

Hades: (Turns to Kazuya) Has anyone ever told you that your family is fucked up?

Kazuya: (Shrugs) Multiple times. Never bothered me in the slightest.

Ganondorf: (Rolls his Eyes) 'Course it doesn't. But anyways, I'm bored now. So......any ideas on what we should do next?

Hades: (Starts Smirking) The new club across the streets is about to start in a couple of minutes. Wanna go there?

Bowser: Hell yeah.

Ganondorf: (Shrugs) I'm down.

Kazuya: Fine with me.

Sephiroth: As long as my son gets to go, then I suppose I can tag along.

Pichu: (Happily Cheers) Pi Chu!~

Bowser: You know, I've been wondering this for while now, but have any of you seen where Ridley and Dark Samus are gone to?

Ganondorf: They went to a restaurant together.

Bowser: Together? (Eyes Widened Once He Realized What's Ganondorf is Talking About) Wait. So they're actually a THING now!?

Hades: Seems like it. Guess the vacation got 'em closer than ever.

Bowser: Probably. I mean.....Good for them, I guess? I'm just progressing this.....

Ganondorf: ('Sigh') Well, let's just hope that their relationship would last them for as long as they need to.

Hades: We're still gonna kick Ridley's ass to a plup if he tries hurting her, right?

Ganondorf: Oh absolutely.

Meanwhile at the Crimsonetté Restaurant......

Ridley: And then I told Samus "Your suit's powerful, but my name's still Ridley, BITCH!"

Dark Samus: (Giggles Softly While Wearing a Dark Blue Dress)

Ridley: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Surprised) Holy shit. You actually thought that was funny?

Dark Samus: (Happily Nodded) Mmhmm. I think you're funny. (Starts Blushing a Little) A-And handsome~

Ridley: Oh! Uhh...(Chuckles Lightly While Blushing Himself) Thanks. I think you're sex- BEAUTIFUL! I mean, beautiful! You're beautiful.....Just beautiful.

Dark Samus: (Giggles Once More) Thanks, Ridley.

@keyenuta

@caleb13frede

@26shann

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@italian-love-cake

@illyrilex

[chisinpink]

The Only One: A Mastermind!Nagito AU Story - PROLOGUE

Hello lovelies, I’ve posted a *lot* about my Mastermind!Nagito AU on tiktok (I’m @chisben there as well if you wanna check it out), and I rly wanna share it here so here’s the prologue! Special thanks to @servanthaji for helping out with the planning of this whole story in general!

(Content warning for mentions of bombs and bombings, swearing and crying.)

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JUNKO: Yep, that’s the day that it happened. The day everything started getting… pretty scary, if you ask me! I’m just glad you were outta town for that, and baby was home sick. That’s, like, the only reason she’s here today, too!

HAJIME: Wait, wait, slow down! What are you even talking about…?

JUNKO: Uhh, I’m getting to that? Besides, don’t you know that guy too? Nagito Komaeda?

HAJIME: Not really… I mean, I knew of him, but I was in the reserve course. I didn’t really talk to him or anything until I went to school that Monday, and… there was nobody there except him.

JUNKO: Oh, yea? Did he tell you anything?

HAJIME: Not really. After I got shot at and ran in the school, I asked him what the hell was going on, but it was like I wasn’t there either. He just changed the subject to hope over and over again, like I asked a totally different question, and eventually I just walked away. I still don’t know what he was doing there.

JUNKO: Then maybe he doesn’t want you to know, y’know? You’re so lucky you have me, then~!

(She smirks playfully. Hajime stares at her blankly and her face drops. She stares at a map with a pen in hand.)

JUNKO: Come ooon, I’m coping! This is pretty stressful for everyone, y’know, I use humor to forget about all this stupid shit.

HAJIME: Whatever… just… tell me what’s going on.

JUNKO: Well, what happened that day… that was the start of The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History… in my opinion. And that’s saying a lot, because this world is filled with despair! And, like, his whole class helped him do what he did to the country! No idea why that is, but we can all fill you in on the rest, I guess. Preeeety sure we were all there in some way, ‘cept my baby.

(She gestures to the entirety of Class 78 of Hopes Peak Academy, standing and sitting in the basement of the school, as well as Mikan Tsumiki, who has a timid smile on her face as Junko looks back at her. Hajimes face drops.) 

HAJIME: Wh… what?? That can’t be it, that can’t be what happened…! The whole class?? The whole country?!

JUNKO: Eeeyup! They evacuated the school by putting a bomb under their teachers desk, and apparently all around the school, and I have NO idea how that lady didn’t croak! Anyways, everyone had to leave, and… that’s basically all I know. They just repeated that ooover and ooover on the news, it made me sick!!

(She threw her pen at a tiny radio propped up on a few cardboard boxes.)

HAJIME: Wh… this doesn’t… but… but, I...

(Kyoko steps forward and faces Hajime.)

KYOKO: I have some more information on what happened that day. After we were trapped here in the basement, all we had was the radio to inform us of the true nature of what happened. This is what I wrote down from those broadcasts.

(She hands Hajime a folder that contains three sheets of paper, all three of them hand-written notes. He begins reading.)

KYOKO: The class of 77-B was, most likely, all apparently under some sort of drug-induced psychosis. Most witnesses reported that they were acting strangely or out of character before they planted the bombs, and their eyes were hazy and… 

HAJIME: ”swirled”, “mixed”, “terrifying”, “comforting”, “light and dark” ...none of these make any sense.

KYOKO: My thoughts exactly. This entire event is bizarre and without any logical reasoning behind it… if you’d only heard about it on the news. But I think Makoto and I know more than any news outlets.

HAJIME: How?

(She looks over her shoulder to Makoto, signaling him to stand up.)

MAKOTO: Well, about a month ago me and Kyoko were going to one of the computer rooms to print something, but it was kind of out of the way, so we didn’t expect him to be there. N-Nagito, I mean. We saw him talking to Chihiro, and, uhm… I didn’t hear that part.

(He looks up to Chihiro. They stand meekly and fold their arms.)

CHIHIRO: H-he had been asking me to collaborate with him on a personal project, but… I didn’t have any spare time, and I didn’t even know him that well! So I finally just told him no, and he left me alone for a day or two… but t-then…

(Tears form at the corners of their eyes.)

CHIHIRO: H-he told me that… he was gonna… destroy the sc-sc-school if I didn’t-!

(They cover their face, and Makoto reaches out to rub their shoulder.)

MAKOTO: It’s not your fault, Chihiro. It’s nobody's fault but his. B-but anyway, after we heard about that, we decided that we had to keep an eye on him, but… basically the next day is when the bombs went off.

HAJIME: Why didn’t you just… tell a teacher what he told Chihiro?

MAKOTO: In hindsight… yeah, that would’ve been the safest thing we could’ve done. But Kyoko thought that we couldn’t keep an eye on him if he was expelled for that, a-and he could have been doing anything at home, so we fo-

KYOKO: Makoto, please, don’t. I was a coward, and I didn’t trust anybody else to investigate the matter. This whole situation could have been de-escalated dramatically if I had told school faculty.

(Kiyotaka stands from his spot next to Mondo.)

TAKA: You DIDN’T inform a teacher, or the Headmaster?! Miss Kirigiri, the school faculty always knows what is best for us!!

MONDO: Yeaaaah, is that why they all jumped ship and fucked off to who-knows-where so we could fight like dogs in the basement?

AOI: Hey, they did what they could, okay?? They had to protect themselves like everyone else! We’re not any better by hiding in the basement.

MONDO: Where the fuck ELSE were we supposed to go?? Candy land?!

YASUHIRO: Hey hey hey, Chihiro was right to lead us here the day the bombs went off! But I hear ya, maybe we coulda moved out of Japan together or somethin’ instead of hiding in Japan!

TOKO: I-I see why you’ve had to retake this year as m-much as you did now, you dumbass! He could b-be expanding anywhere now!!

BYAKUYA: As much as I hate to agree with her, I do. Nowhere is truly safe, and for all we may know, we’re being actively searched for. It’s only a matter of time before we have to relocate.

SAYAKA: I-I can’t stay here another second!! 

CELESTIA: Oh, so do you two suggest that we run out into the streets and expose ourselves to the predators? Play Nagitos game of cat and mouse?

LEON: Hell NO, I’m not playing that freaks game! But if he’s got his little possie out there looking every which way for us, then we gotta at least try and delay it!

SAKURA: On the other hand, we don’t know what they might want from us, if anything, or how bad the situation has escalated since we decided to hide.

HIFUMI: We don’t even KNOW what’s out there w-waiting for us anymore?! There could be giant mutant spiders wanting to turn us into baby food by now! I’m staying right HERE.

YASUHIRO: ...okay, I’m officially lost. Are we moving or staying?

SAYAKA: Moving!!

BYAKUYA: If you all intend on surviving, then you’ll all relocate. If you intend on being brutally murdered, then by all means, feel free to stay for a bit longer.

LEON: What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?? 

MAKOTO: H-hey, everybody calm down!!

SAKURA: We cannot make a decision until we know more about the outside world. AOI: But isn’t it because of what we don’t know that we have to go out there by now?

SAYAKA: Maybe some of us could go and some of us could stay?

TOKO: W-what if that reveals the hiding spot f-f-for everybody else??

MIKAN: (wiping away tears and hiccupping) N-nooo!!

YASUHIRO: Then we all have to come to the same decision, then.

CELESTIA: Yes, good luck reaching a peaceful consensus during the middle of an apocalypse!

BYAKUYA: I never said that it had to be a peaceful decision. If needed, you will all follow me kicking and screaming so I don’t perish thanks to your idiocy.

MONDO: I’ll knock some idiocy into ya if you keep runnin’ your mouth like that!

TAKA: Remember to take deep stomach breaths, bro! I think we can all solve this by utilizing a popular vote!

HIFUMI: But wouldn’t whoever’s the most popular win anyway??

HAJIME: SHUT UP!!! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!!

(Everyone stops talking and stares at Hajime, who’s trembling and has his face in his hands.)

JUNKO: Daaaaaaamn, rookie’s kinda bold to be screaming at us like that, huh?

MAKOTO: Junko… you’re not helping. He’s obviously overwhelmed and you’re just teasing him.

JUNKO: C’mon, I’m nowhere near him! Hahah!

(Makoto sighs, sitting down next to Hajime on the floor. The rest of the students talk amongst themselves.)

MAKOTO: ...I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask to be here, but… for what it’s worth, I’m glad that you’re still alive somehow.

HAJIME: … 

MAKOTO: You know… when Mukuro found you unconscious in that class, we all thought you were one of Nagitos’ friends. You seemed too peaceful in your sleep to have been running from anybody, or hiding from anything.

HAJIME: ...then why did you help me?

KYOKO: We thought we could get some information about the outside world. But apparently, you're just as lost as the rest of us.

MAKOTO: A-and because we didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Even if you were one of his people, we didn’t want you to just be out there. I’m glad that you weren’t, though… it feels nice to meet someone new again.

(Hajime lifts his face from his hands, palms and face covered in tears. He looks at Makoto with a faint smile.)

HAJIME: Yeah… feels nice.

☘️ TO BE CONTINUED☘️