#head empty just chuuya right now

[chuuyrr]

the new bsd chapter has me shook.. ok but seeing chuuya again has me all <3 <3

[cvntydazai]

underdog

when you and your boyfriend work for the port mafia, spending time together isn’t always going to be a top priority, especially when he’s an executive and you’re just an underdog.

pairing; chuuya nakahara x fem!reader

word count; 2.5k

content warning; heavy angst, fluff, cursing, lots of mentions of alcohol, bestfriend!dazai, miscommunication, unedited, slightly suggestive if you squint, chuuya is a sweetie pie who i love with my whole heart

a/n: my second post on here! i’m working on my masterlist and stuff right now but formatting that stuff can be so boring so it takes me forever.

you woke to the feeling of the cold morning breeze against your shivering body. the bed felt empty on chuuya’s side, as it always did. he usually left for work earlier than you did, claiming it was mori’s request that he be there at the crack of dawn but some days it felt like he did it by choice.

while chuuya was an executive under port mafia, you were simply an underdog, taking on miniscule tasks that don’t require the attention of any higher up. you tried to reason with your bitter feelings on the title, it was better to be out of the spotlight. so why did you want to be in it so badly?

your phone that laid on your bedside table rung, chuuya’s contact name stared back at you. with a sigh you reached for the phone and accepted your lover’s call. “hello?” you start, a moment of silence before chuuya speaks.

“hey, mori said there’s a job for you.” of course, mori wouldn’t waste time calling someone of such low importance so chuuya was tasked with it.

chuuya explained the details of the mission. it was simple, as they all were. you needed to collect missed payments from someone the port mafia worked with. you were also informed they weren’t hostile, that it was just to collect money.

“if you don’t feel comfortable going alone i can send akutagawa to go with you.” his concern was noticeable even through the phone.

“no, it’s fine. these kinds of jobs bore him anyways.” and they bore you too, but you never voice your complaints.

“okay, just.. be safe.” you agreed, ending the call immediately after.

you got ready in the time it took for the cab to arrive at your apartment. there was no small talk on the ride there, just the silent hum of lost radio signal on the stereo. this would take maybe an hour or two tops and then you would have nothing left on your schedule for the day. that’s how it typically went, no work of any importance.

“we’re here.” you thanked the driver and stepped out.

-

it took an hour and a half, only because the shop owner who owed money did not want to cough up the cash to pay his debts. eventually you had to threaten him, and he finally agreed to pay what he owed.

with the money in hand you headed for the port mafia in the same car you came here with. the same silence, same boredom. when you arrived there was no one to greet you so you decided to take the money up to mori yourself.

you passed akutagawa on the way there, he stopped you. “are you going to see mori?” you nodded, motioning to the suitcase that held the heaping amount of money. “just let me take it, i’ll let him know you went home after finishing the job.” he said, snatching the suitcase from you quicker than you could comprehend.

of course, you could never see the boss yourself. the higher ups had to always be the ones, why couldn’t it ever just be you delivering your work to your boss? it wasn’t fair, but you didn’t dare speak out.

“thanks, akutagawa.” he nodded, turning back to mori’s office.

when you reached the entrance again there was the same driver, you sat in the same seat.

“going home?” you thought about it for a second.

“no, take me to the nearest bar.” he complied without saying another word.

the nearest bar happened to be one you frequented, when you entered you were greeted by the bartender who was currently cleaning off glasses from previous customers. you took your usual spot at the center of the bar, ordering what you usually do. you drank in silence, playing with the hem of your coat while you thought to yourself.

the coat was chuuya’s gift to you after he noticed how much you loved wearing it. even after he handed it over to you, sometimes you would still put it on his side of the coat rack so it smelled like him when you wore it. he used to tease you about it, saying you could just start wearing his cologne too if you liked the way he smelled so much.

the coat that once kept you warm felt colder now. maybe it was because it had aged significantly since it was gifted to you and was now littered in holes, or maybe it was because you hadn’t properly seen chuuya in weeks and the coat doesn’t smell of him anymore.

he was always busy, always having missions to go on while you rotted away at home like the useless underdog you were. could being a higher up and risking your life be worth it, if it meant you could see him more?

“hey, stranger.” you knew that voice anywhere.

“hi, dazai.” you didn’t look up to meet his eyes, only feeling his presence sitting beside you.

even with dazai being in the agency now, he was still your closest friend. you still frequently saw him, usually to drink but sometimes to just talk. chuuya didn’t like it whatsoever but never made an effort to stop you. he would remind you that port mafia doesn’t meddle with the agency if it doesn’t have to, and you would reply with the same “i know” as you left.

he ordered a drink on his never ending tab and hummed a tune to himself. he was awfully quiet, so unlike him.

“you know i’m gonna ask you what’s wrong, right?” he broke the silence, and for the first time since he arrived you looked him in the eye. he saw the tears welling in your eyes and it hurt him to see you like that.

“is it chuuya? are you two fighting?” the only reason he could think of.

you let out a huff, taking the last swig of your drink.

“wish we were, at least we’d be talking to eachother.” you wiped your mouth, motioning to the bartender that you wanted another.

you could see the gears in dazai’s brain working in real time, deciphering your words like a case. you knew he would figure it out eventually, but all you needed right now was comfort so you gave into his curiosity.

“i want to ask for a job promotion, i’m so tired of being seen as a weakling in the port mafia.” you admitted, pulling your newly filled drink closer to you.

dazai didn’t seem the slightest bit surprised, his eyes held sympathy for you, you hated it. he cleared his throat, as if he was about to tell you the world was ending right then and there.

it felt like it was, you were losing your one and only love to a merciless job and no one in the port mafia took you seriously no matter how hard you tried to prove to them you could get work done.

“correct me if i’m wrong but.. is this really about wanting to move up in the mafia? or is it about wanting to see chuuya more?” he solved the case, just like that.

you didn’t bite back your tears any longer, letting them fall into your crossed arms as you sniffled. you were just about to take another gulp of your drink but dazai stopped you, giving you a knowing look, you didn’t handle your booze well and he knew it.

the alcohol wouldn’t solve your problems but maybe it would dull the pain in your heart. ignoring dazai’s pleading look, you drank again. nothing mattered right now, not even the hangover you’d feel in the morning.

dazai knew he couldn’t stop you, but at least he could watch you to make sure you were safe.

-

a couple of hours later and a few drinks down you were feeling the effects in full, your tears morphed into giggles and you felt on cloud nine. dazai had a few drinks in him as well, but not nearly as many as you. continuing to ignore his looks of concern you tried your hand at the dart board mounted on the wall ahead of you.

you were just about to take your shot when dazai’s ringing phone startled you.

“hey! i would’ve gotten it that time!” you shouted, slurring your words.

dazai rolled his eyes and accepted said call, already knowing who was on the other end without having to check the caller id.

“where is she?” chuuya’s harsh voice rang through the phone.

“the bar next to the port mafia building.” he replied calmly, ignoring the slew of curses from chuuya.

“i’ll be there in a second, make sure she doesn’t have anymore to drink.”

when chuuya arrived at the bar he walked onto the scene of you fighting dazai for a bottle of wine and the bartender watching with an unreadable expression. you wouldn’t have even noticed he was there if dazai didn’t greet him.

“what are you doing here?” you frowned, snatching the bottle of wine at last now that dazai was distracted.

“taking you home, put down the bottle.” he could tell you were shitfaced just by looking at you.

“i’ll go with you, but i’m taking the wine.” you reasoned, knowing chuuya wouldn’t be leaving this bar without you.

he agreed, sighing whilst digging in his pockets for his wallet. he slammed a wad of cash onto the counter, apologizing to the poor bartender who had to deal with two idiots the entire evening.

“i’m sorry about that, this should be enough to cover both of their tabs and the bottle of wine.” the bartender offered a smile of gratitude and wished chuuya a good night.

dazai followed the two of you out of the bar, hands stuffed deep in his pant pockets.

“do you.. need a ride?” chuuya asked, already regretting the simple act of kindness. you stood at his side, eyes trained at your feet with your bottle of wine tucked tightly under your shoulder.

“nah, i’ve got someone coming. i’ll see you around.” he took his leave, and chuuya quickly ushered you in his car.

the car ride home was silent, the only thing to be heard was your fiddling fingers. you wanted to say something, anything to break the tension but your brain felt like a melting pot of emotions. you were mad, yet you also yearned for him.

“i-“ you began, he stopped you.

“not right now, we can talk when i’m not driving.” if that wasn’t a dead giveaway that he was angry you didn’t know what was.

it was quiet the entire way back to your shared apartment. the anxiety bubbling inside you helped you sober up, you were still long gone. despite his obvious frustration, he still opened the car door for you and guided you up the steps into your home.

the second the door shut his mouth was moving.

“why didn’t you tell me you were going to be gone? do you have any idea how worried i was?” his voice raised and fired up, it sparked your own rage.

“well, i’m sorry i want to do something other than be your housewife.” a confused grunt left chuuya’s lips, never had he thought of you as his housewife.

his confusion only made you more upset, he truly had no idea how you felt.

“i’m sick of being here, never having anything to do.” you complained, walking into the kitchen to grab a glass for your wine.

chuuya followed you, a stern expression on his face as he quietly listened. he could see you were hurt in a way he desperately wanted to understand, but hearing you say you were sick of being home was like a bullet to the chest. this place was supposed to be a safe place for the both of you, had he done anything to give you the impression of otherwise?

“and no one in the mafia thinks i’m useful, not even you.” you mumbled, fumbling with cork screw that sealed the wine shut.

chuuya suddenly grabbed the bottle from your hand, now looking you dead in the eye. the grip on the bottle made the veins in his hand bulge, you weren’t sure how the glass hadn’t shattered from the force.

“who said that?” he asked, an unnerving calmness in his voice that worried you.

“said what?” you gulped, no longer worried about your wine.

“said you were useless.” silence on your part.

“no.. no one’s said it but i can feel their judgement. hell, even akutagawa thinks i’m useless.”

“akutagawa thinks everyone is useless.” he argues.

“not you, he respects you.” chuuya releases his hold on the wine, instead occupying his hands around your waist.

his touch is gentle, almost cooling against your flushed skin. he leans his head into your neck, breathing in your scent which you’re sure smells of a mixture of all the alcohol you’ve consumed. “and.. it’s not just that i want to be recognized more in the port mafia. i also want to see you more.”

your confession makes him smile, you can feel his lips curving upwards on your neck.

“is that was this is about? you miss me?” you’re half tempted to push him off of you now, his ego undoubtedly stroked. “why didn’t you just say that, sweetheart.”

“it’s hard sometimes, you’re always busy and i barely see you.” he hums in agreement, pressing light kisses your shoulders.

it was hard to stay mad at him for too long when this was his way of apologizing, drowning you in physical affection that melts not only your heart but your body.

“well, if you really don’t like where you stand in the port mafia right now, I'll talk to mori. no one thinks you’re useless, hell i thought you liked staying out of the dirty business.” the mafia itself was all dirty business, but you understood what the meaning was in this context. “and i’ll try my hardest to be home more, i never mean to be gone so long darlin’, work is just hectic sometimes.”

you turned to look at him, his beautiful eyes looking at you with all the softness in the world. “i know, i’m so sorry i made a big deal out of all of this. i just felt so lost.”

he understood, “don’t be sorry, you were hurting and i should have seen it. i’m sorry, i love you more than anything.”

“it’s okay, but i think that booze is catching up to me, i need to sit down now.” with a soft laugh he guided you to your shared couch.

the rest of the night he spent pampering you, making you two dinner and putting on a movie for you to watch in the living room. you laid there in peace, your head resting against his chest while his heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

for the first time in weeks, when you fell asleep beside him you woke to him in the morning.

[ranpoesgirl]

HOME IS WHEREVER I’M WITH YOU— CHUUYA N.

— synopsis; 15!Chuuya who invites you over because he isn’t ‘comfortable’ in his large apartment…

— a/n; not the best but I tried— the idea was way better than the final results.. ((could be considered as a second part of this

Chuuya had never been used to the term ‘home’. It was always ‘base’ or ‘hideout’ but never a place he could enter without expecting the worst. It was always a temporary place for him and the sheep to rest before the sunrises.

The first time he held the keys of his apartment, he felt lightheaded, disgusted and took heavy breaths remembering a silent promise made by him and the sheep to stay together once they were finally free from their trapped lives.

Stepping foot into the large furnished apartment felt wrong, each step felt heavy and unwanted.

He had many life skills, yet couldn’t being himself to use his home for even the most basic necessities as to cook himself when he’s starving, when he tries, he can’t bare swallowing it…

“Chuuya!”

He heard his name being called out tenderly, as though his body recognized the voice before his thoughts could, he turned his heel and walked towards you.

“You look awful,” you tilt your head curiously looking at his slightly disheveled hair that didn’t match his eye bags as he grumbled at your words.

“Good morning to you too,” your name spat out his mouth with venom making you cringe at his forced greeting.

You try to fix his hair by brushing it out of his face but he immediately stepped back glaring at you, “I mean it, you look restless… and that’s a big deal coming from you,”

You were right, it was a big deal.

His body was used to staying up for days and weeks, maybe even months. After all, he always used to stay alert while the sheep rested in peace.

“Were you getting enough sleep, Chuuya?”

And once again, you called him back to his attention with genuine care in your voice, one that you shouldn’t need to show him.

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping, not used to living alone in a unnecessary large apartment.” He gave you a simple firm answer.

And this was your chance to tell him to sleep early, or taking sleeping pills, or maybe even recommend him with some weird asmr—

“Would you like company?”

…

“Do you hear yourself?”, you huffed at his response, “I was just offering a solution,”

He groaned in exhaustion pushing his hair back, he didn’t have neither the energy or the time to put into your shenanigans…

Maybe it was because of how exhausted he was, maybe it was his body’s desperate plea for rest, but you were now twirling the keys to his house as he held onto a tote bag with your ‘essentials’ as you put it.

He could feel his eyes twitch in irritation when you struggle to put the key in the hole and turn it, he began regretting his choices, he truly did.

Finally opening it, you entered the place taking a look around the empty walls decorated with unpleasant abstract artwork that probably costs thousands, the halls so bare and empty, a splash of water would make it interesting.

“There is an extra room opposite to the living room, you can use that as a guest bedroom, but there is only one bathroom, you could borrow my shampoo and—

“I’ve bought my own.” You pull your tote bag out of his grasp as you hastily removed your shoes at the shoe stand and walk over to the bathroom.

“Of course, you have…” he grumbled.

You placed your necessities on the sink and shower before walking over to the room and opening the door to only toss your bag on the bed before closing it behind you.

“Tired? Or do you want to waste some energy?” You ask him from a distance as I crashed onto his couch. He thought for a bit before shrugging his shoulders, “I’m going to bed, stay up all you want.”

And with that, he left to his room while you binge watched whatever was on the large tv screen…

Chuuya didn’t want to admit it… he really didn’t.

But he managed to fall asleep.

Sure, it took awhile and it wasn’t a lot but it was nonetheless, the rest he needed to function.

He walked out of his room with a pair of fresh clothes to freshen up in the bathroom when he caught sight of the tv still on and displaying ‘are you still watching?’.

He walked over annoyed by the fact you didn’t bother turning it off but when he went to reach the remote, he heard soft breaths from… you.

You fell asleep on the couch…

He didn’t bother waking you up, he instead wrote a sticky note informing you about his absence in the house.

He contemplated leaving a few yen notes for you to go have breakfast but ultimately decided to write down a restaurant name and telling you to go to and put the meal under his tab.

Everything felt lighter on his shoulders, his neck was no longer tight, eyes didn’t look like he had 10 packs of Red Bull in one go.

But as he unlocked the door to his apartment, he was scared on what to say to you. Should he inform you that your presence helped? Should he ask you to continue to stay? What if you decide your job is done and leave?

“Chuuya, welcome home!”

His breath hitched at the soft call of his name welcoming him to his own home, he felt sick… he was not happy with how his heart fluttered at those words…

“…what’s that?”, he drew his attention to the bouquet of flowers in a glass vase in the middle of the table.

“The flowers? Do you not like them?”, your tone held a sad grimace which gave him a jolt.

“I never said that…” he whispered in a hushed sense of guilt as he felt the soft petals in contrast to his rough hands.

Lilies and Gladiolus…

He quickly snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at kitchen, a cabinet open displaying flour and other items in jars and packaging.

Walking over to open the fridge, he found a new gallon of milk, and other dairy items, a few condiments even.

His eyes softened as the corner of his lips turned as much as he tried not to, “hey, would you mind staying for a while..?”

You woke up in your room and laid there for a while before finally getting up to head to the bathroom.

In there you found chuuya wiping his face with a white towel, you tried greeting him but you were too groggy to the point you sounded like a turtle out of sea.

You heard him laugh in a low tone from his throat, waking you up in surprise that he sounded like that. He seemed to notice your attention on it as well.

“morning voice..” he mumbled in that exact tone, you felt blood rush to your face when he spoke once again.

You noticed his startled face so you went back to brushing your teeth. He stared at you from the mirror for a bit before leaving, he put a palm on his face as he felt it face heat up.

This felt way too domestic…

It became a routine, the both of you would wake up, get ready for the morning, he’d cook breakfast, go to work, eat lunch at the restaurant, come home together, he’d cook dinner as you cleaned the house, and repeat cycle.

All for Chuuya to be able to get comfortable in his home and have a good night sleep…

The truth is, he managed to do so with a week of your presence, but he couldn’t let go of the feeling of coming home to you, or coming home with you…

And tonight when you didn’t come home he bombarded you with calls and messages, yet no response. He was worried, so he decided to call your colleague, and he got a response.

“Could you not sleep alone for the night?”

He hung up.

He sat on his bed in silence before realizing what happened, he quickly sent a text telling you it was alright and he was just checking so that he doesn’t have to stay up all night so that he could unlock the front door for you.

Knowing he’d gladly stay up all night once again if it were for you…

He slumped onto the bed trying to fall asleep, and to his disappointment that he actually fell asleep without you, he woke up and continued his routine, this time without you.

He hated how addicted he became to you…

The following days, seeing you in the halls of the port mafia felt awful, seeing how the both of you did completely fine without the need for each other’s presence— sure, he didn’t need it but he knew he was the only one who wanted it.

As much as he didn’t like the thought, he sucked it up and continued to be beside you like how you were before all of this, he doesn’t want to blame you for his unnecessary childish wants.

So like any other day, he finally poured the rice into the rice cooker before going to clean up the mess on the counter tops until his door bell rang.

Chuuya sighed irritated at the thought of seeing his landlord at 11:45 in the night but still went to open the door to only see you.

He did not like how much his chest lightened and heart fluttered.

“What are you doing here.” He did not mean for his voice to sound as stern and agitated as it did but the way you flinched was enough to make him retract.

“No, no, I meant, what do you want— no, that’s— what is— fuck…! Just… just come in…”

You blinked before letting out a laugh, as you entered, “sorry, I just came back from a mission and I simply missed you…”

His heart squeezed at the thought of him on your mind alone, band in a desperate attempt to forget it, “sit, I’ll put you some rice,”

And once again, he was back with you, eating at the dinner table with a vase of lilies and gladioluses in the middle.

After dinner, you went to your room, he thought that was the end of it but the sound of shuffling made him turn around to see you dragging your blanket and pillows to the couch.

“…what’re you doing?”, he asked you curiously as you turned on the tv before waving your hand at him to come over.

He does as you want and takes a seat beside you, he was caught off guard when you began wrapping the blanket around the both of you.

As you rest your head onto his side while whatever you chose played in the background but it was all muffled, the only thing he could hear was the light breaths from you.

He took in your scent as he let you rest on him before whispering into nothing.

“You make my house a home…”

[luvfy0dor]

“I Can't Help But Pamper You ♡⁠˖” BSD x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

╰┈➤ Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol

warnings; kisses, sassy Fyodor,

description; pampering BSD boys at home? I dunno how else to describe it jdskskkek

A/n; Happy birthday to Dazai and happy Juneteenth!!! I've been swamped with state testing and finals and studying for them, I got three more to go, 3/6 completed. I'm kinda excited for summer but I'll feel like I have nothin' to do. idea cred to @yaeeko and Nikolai scenario inspiration from @ilovechuuy4

Dazai Osamu ★

Dazai is almost never the first one up. Every morning, you take on the responsibilities of an alarm clock by shaking your boyfriend awake from his fifth 'just five more minutes' every morning. You were blessed with weekends off, though, and one Saturday morning when you inevitably woke up before Osamu, you decided to embrace your inner chef. Maybe you're not the best cook, but anyone is better than Dazai, so you did most of the food preparation. You never really made breakfast, though. Dazai usually just took an apple or two and you never had time to power up the stove and make pancake batter or anything of the sort, so this morning, you figured you would. You whipped out a couple pans, and some boxed pancake mix and eggs and got to work. You made sure Dazais eggs were cooked just right before playing them, a long with the less-than-perfect pancakes. Sure they were a little crispy, but Dazai wouldn't mind too much. All that was left to do was grab a fork and syrup and bring the meal back to him in your room. Pushing the door open with your foot, you walked in and set the plate on the nightstand, gently shaking him awake. His brows furrow and his nose scrunched up. "'Samu, wake up, I brought you breakfast." You say, running your fingers through his messy brown hair. He stretches his limbs before peeking open his eyes and smiling. "Did you now? How romantic of you!" He sits up and lets you hand him the plate. "This is so thoughtful of you! Come sit down." He pats the empty spot next to him. You crawl over him to get there and lean onto his shoulder once your fully situated. His nimble fingers grip the fork loosely as he cuts off a sliver of the pancake and holds it up to your lips. "Go on, try it." He encourages and you bite it off of the fork, humming at the taste. "Wow, I did pretty good, huh." You say, satisfied. He nods with a grin, continuing to munch on his breakfast. "Better than that time you burnt gravy." You roll your eyes but nod, leaning your head against his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

Chuuya Nakahara ★

The second you offered a hot shower with Chuuya to unwind one evening, he was happily accepting. He wasted no time heading to the closet to grab a towel, slinging one over his shoulder for you along with his. He let you pull him in by his waist for a kiss while you leaned against the sink, and even though the shower wasn't turned on yet, the mirrors were already fogging up. Your hand creeps up to cup his face, running your thumb over his pronounced cheekbones as he sighs into your kisses. He pulls away, his face flustered and red. "C'mon, let's get into the shower before we end up distracted." He says playfully. He starts to undo his vest and meets you halfway in the middle without having realized that your fingers were fumbling with the buttons too. He chuckles quietly and lets you help him finish undressing before the both of you step into the steamy shower. He hums in contentment at the feeling of the hot water against his overworked muscles, his body immediately relaxing. Your instinct tells you to hug him from behind while the water cascades over the two of you, but you reason that it would be uncomfortably hot, so you opt to wash his body for him instead. He'd let a quiet but pleased sound out at the favor, mumbling thanks and closing his eyes, letting the relaxing water nearly consume him. Chuuya had never loved showers more than he did when he took one with you.

Fyodor Dostoevsky ★

Every night before you went to bed, you had a really quick skincare routine. All it really was was washing your face, putting on moisturizer, and using a lip scrub, but you enjoyed it and felt that it did what it was supposed to. Occasionally, Fyodor would stand by and watch, his interest piqued. Sometimes he'd ask questions or make comments on your routine, such as "that must be why your lips are so soft." Or "What exactly does it do for your face? I don't think it can really fix it." I'm a firm believer that Fyodor is actually kinda playful and teases his partner from time to time. "Its not supposed to 'fix it', dumdum. It makes the skin softer 'nd stuff." You'd reply with an eye roll. He'd fall silent for a second, watching as you apply the scrub to your lips. "Can I try it?" You put you finger on your chin and hummed pensively, turning to him and nodding. "I guess." You rummaged through the drawer in the sink for your recently discarded headband with floppy, worn out bunny ears on the top. He leaned against the sink and let you put it on him, pulling it over his head and then pushing it up again to keep his long bangs out of his face. He looked over his shoulder at himself in the mirror while you grabbed your moisturizer and scrub and grimaced. "I look much better with my bangs. This certainly isn't ideal." He'd tell you, turning back to face you, only to be spinned around once again.

"Just splash some water on your face." You say, turning the sink on for him. "Is that really necessary? My shirt is going to get all soaked-" "You can always change, go on, Fedya.' You say, your hand on his lower back as he reluctantly leans over the sink and gently uses his cupped hands to bring the water to his face a couple times. When he stood back up again, water dripped down his skin and from his eyelashes and his cheeks were very slightly flushed. "What now? I'm all cold and wet." He murmurs, standing stiffly as the droplets continue to roll down his face. You grab a small towel and pat his face dry for him, getting to his lips and stealing a quick peck. You then pump some of the moisturizer onto your hand and start rubbing it into his pale skin. The cream leaves a glossy effect afterwards and he runs his fingers over his cheek to feel the smooth texture. He watches you take out the lip scrub and gather some on your finger. "Open up." You say. He raises an eyebrow but parts his lips, slightly grimacing as you aggressively apply the product. "Okay, now rub your lips together." He does as directed and can't help but lick his lower one. "It tastes good, like artificial blueberry." He says and you nod in agreement. "My lips do feel softer, though." He says, continuously feeling them and taking in the softer texture. "Let me feel." You say, gently guiding his hand away from his mouth in order to lean in and kiss him, intertwining your fingers with his as you do so. "Yeah, I think it definetly worked." You mumble as you pull away. Maybe you should rope him into your routine more often.

Nikolai Gogol ★

"Dove, you ever see those people who put on face masks and then they do the whole 'cucumber over the eyes' thing? We should try that!" Your boyfriend calls out to you from the kitchen, searching for the cucumber you bought last week. He finally found it in one of the drawers and quickly grabbed a cutting board and knife. "Where'd that come from?" You ask with a raised eyebrow as you walk into the kitchen, standing at the counter next to him. "I dunno, it just came to mind. Seems fun though, doesnt it?" He chopped six slices off of the cucumber and wrapped it back up to be put back in the fridge. "Yeah, sure." You grab one of the slices and take a bite. "Let me go grab the face masks real quick. Do you want your robe? To enhance the experience?" He grins as he heads down the hallway to the bathroom. "Kolya it's like, a million degrees in here, it's summer and we have no ac, I'm surprised you're not already walking around naked and you wanna wear a robe? You're out your mind." You say, following the white haired man to find him in the bathroom closet, grabbing two charcoal masks. "I'll do as I please, and if that's wearing a fuzzy robe in the summer, then so be it. The cucumbers will cool me down."

You roll your eyes and pull the hair tie you keep on your wrist off to bunch up and hold Nikolais bangs out of his face. "Mm, much better! Let's go, I want to lay down." He says with an excited smile, dragging out along back to the couch. He plops down and sprawls out, half of one leg hanging off the edge. You follow suit but remain sitting up and rip the mask open by the tear strip. "Oops, we forgot the cucumbers in the kitchen." He says, opening his portal and sticking his arm through, pulling it out a couple seconds later with the cucumbers in hand. "Thank you." You say appreciatively. "Now close your eyes." You say, placing two of them on his eyes. "I feel much cooler already." He says, making you roll your eyes with a smile. You squeeze out the mask and spread it onto his face with your pointer finger until it covered most of the surface area except for his lips. "This is so relaxing! I'll have to do yours for you after I'm done with mine." He says, clearly having a great time. You gently massage his scalp while you let him marinate and can't help but be surprised that he hasn't eaten the cucumbers yet. Just as you the thought floats through your head, he reaches over and grabs one of the extra cucumbers on the plate, bringing it to his mouth and practically swallowing it whole. You laugh at him quietly. "I thought those were for me?" He hums to indicate that they weren't as he chews. "Not anymore." You smiled and lean down to peck his lips quickly, feeling your heart flutter with affection for him, just like it did the day you first met. "Alright, Kolya, whatever you say."

Sigma ★

Sigma was very fond of done-up nails, always admiring his customers when they had them painted with colors and sparkles, glossy or matte. One evening, he turned in from his manager job for the night and called out your name, just to find you sitting in bed, cross-legged, painting your nails. His eyes literally up and he walked closer, sitting down next to you. "That's a pretty color. Can you do mine too?" You looked up at him and smiled, shaking your hand to get the polish to dry faster. "Yeah, just give me a second.." you say, blowing your nails and continuously shaking them. It didn't take long for them to dry and you held out your hand for Sigmas. "Alright, let me see." He quickly put his hand in yours. You unscrewed the cap and scraped off the excess nail polish and started painting his left nails. His gaze was fixated on the brush as his nails went from a pale white to a glossy red. You made it to his ring finger before stopping. "Do you want an accent nail?" You ask him. His brows slightly furrowed before a look of realization appeared on his face. "That's when one of them is different, right?" You nod. "Yeah, what other colors are there?"

You reach over to a small, plastic bag on the nightstand and pull out three other polishes, one a shade of purple, a white one, and a black one. "Can I have purple?" You smiled and nodded, unscrewing the cap. "It almost matches your hair." You say, painting his ring finger and then alternating to the red one again for the pinky. "Wave your hand so it dries faster." He does as told. "I'm so happy, I see all these people with nails like this and I've wanted to do mine for a while. Did you know?" You shrugged with a smile, starting on his right hand. "Well, I always see you admire other people's nails, so I figured I'd do mine so you'd give me that attention too, but no, I didn't." You finish up his left hand and instruct him to wave it. "Ohhh...well that's even better because now we can match." He says. His cheeks are a little pinker than before and he takes your hand in his, examining your near perfect nails. "They're so pretty." He mumbles, looking back up at you with his big eyes. "Thank you." You appreciatively say, leaning in to peck his lips. He kisses you back happily and squeezes your hand. He felt so much joy every time he looked at his colored nails, and even more when he saw yours and his together.

A/n; I wasn't gonna put a 2nd a/n but it feels weird not being here, but I don't got nothing to say 🤷

[stargirlo]

somber fem!reader

i just can imagine how much ur boyfie misses you after u two break up :(

he'll go to a seedy bar and drink up until he feels numb on his body, his musky colgone is now replaced with a reeking scent of jack daniels whiskey as he looks completely wasted. holding the whole bottle lazily on his hand before he pours himself another cup of the brown liquid onto the well designed glass cup.

he even babbles about you to the bartender, showing him a picture of yourself that he keeps in his wallet everyday. "you see this- *hic* fine babe? yeah- *hic* i-i lost her two days ago..." he slurred out, eyes dropping low as he looks like he was about to throw up. the only response the bartender could make is either awkwardly chuckling or just saying a small "aw..." because really, he doesn't have the time to have a therapy session with a drunkard.

"s-she like uh-... broke up with me for i don't know what reason, uhmmm- ugh, i miss her s'much..." he whines, acting like he was about to cry. he misses you, he really does. numbing all his pain away from endless amount of shots from the whiskey cup and just slurring out incoherent words that clearly don't make sense. someone comfort this man :(

but as he tips over the barstool, he finally manages to leave the bar and head over his car. murmuring incoherent words and stumbling over the pavement flooring before he finally slams his body against the car door. he struggles a little bit, letting out a strained groan as he sits down at the drivers seat. poor man is tired, and he feels so lonely without your presence beside the passenger seat. you were his passenger princess, and he can't seem to get over you.

he's acting like a total loser right now.

he takes out his wallet again, flipping it open to reveal the picture of you. you were peacefully sleeping on his bed, hair tousled around the plush pillows, and a little puddle of drool seeping into the pillow covers. he chuckles at the picture before it was replaced with silent cries, tears dripping down his cheeks as a few droplets drip down to his jeans. he can't believe he lost you, over god knows what argument you two had both had.

he misses you so much that while he was crying he could feel his cock throbbing against his jeans. he was craving your touch, the way your hand palms his cock and stroke him so deliberately and deliciously with such delicate hands. god he misses it.

so without further ado his cock already sprung free from its confines, one hand holding the wallet while the other worked its way down to stroke his cock. he felt so desperate that he spits on his cock as a use of a lubricant, letting out a throaty groan and string of whispers, talking to himself and praising himself as if you were still there with him. pathetic whimpers fill in the spacious car, the windows slightly fogging up as his vision was already at haze.

all that his mind was clouded of was with images of you.

he still feels empty, even if he's bringing himself close to an orgasm. but he tried, he really tried to think that you're the one stroking his cock instead of he himself. "g-god i... ugh- i miss you s'much baby, holy fuck- please come back..." he murmurs under his breath, jaw clenching as his eyebrows pinch together, letting go of his orgasm. it wasn't particularly the best he could've had but... at least it was something he could do while thinking about you.

but honestly, he just wishes you were there with him. he wishes he could go back in time and fix things properly instead of being put up into this situation. but i guess time will tell, and it's how god had written its story between you and him.

💌: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento (who would break up with him?), hiromi higuruma, toji fushiguro (hear me out...), dazai osamu, odasaku, chuuya nakahara, manjiro sano, draken, rafe cameron, jj maybank, shinichiro sano, ++ your favs!!

[annievrse]

robbers

chuuya x pm!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic w/c: 0.9k c/w: chuuya calls reader 'doll', guns & murder (ur literally a sniper) a/n: this was gonna be a lot more angsty, but I wanted some cutesy gross relationship shit, so here u go, my babies. enjoy!!

Zooming in your scope, your eye is trained on a familiar redhead. You watch as he tries to talk his way out of an infiltration mission that had gone awry 10 minutes earlier, and with you as the Port Mafia's sniper, it's your job to ensure Chuuya gets out of there unharmed.

The earpiece lodged in your ear fizzles a string of words you can barely focus on, but you press it and talk anyway.

"Yes, Aktuagawa is on the roof," you mumble, lifting your head to confirm the questions streaming through your ear. Squinting into the setting sun, you see the younger boy walking along the edge of the building, hoping to get a better angle to attack. "Will take my shot. Over."

As you try to get comfortable, the leather of your vest and pants drag along the concrete roof you lay on. Steadying your breath, you aim for the head of the mastermind behind the organisation that had been killing ability-users for sport.

Now, you hold your breath and squeeze the trigger. There's no sound, but your hurried exhales, and you begin packing your gear instantly. There's no need to look to confirm your kill.

"—inside is clear—"

"—building empty, return to headquarters—"

The silence is deafening. The subtle ringing in your ear punctuates as such. A sudden crackle through your earpiece startles you as you descend the 38 flights of stairs to the street.

"You could've aimed a little more to the right. I got rat blood on me."

You shake your head. "Be grateful you're alive."

Chuuya scoffs, and you imagine him rolling his eyes. "He was an easy target; I would've easily taken him out."

"Just meet me downstairs, please," you sigh, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder. The stairwell is humid, and you're starting to sweat under all the leather you sport.

"Yes, ma'am."

You twist the device from your ear and shove it in your pocket.

Emerging from the building, you're hit with a gust of cool night air, the feeling both relieving and chilling. You squint into the darkness. The door behind you slams, and you jump, tripping over your foot and falling to the ground. You put your hand out to stop yourself and brace for the impact.

Except you don't make it to the dirt and are, instead, held mid-air by a familiar force. You roll your eyes when the commander of said force appears before you in the shape of a five-foot-something redhead.

"Careful, doll, don't need you breaking your trigger finger."

You give Chuuya a deadpan look, still surrounded by a red aura. He stalks toward you, the hem of his coat flapping in the wind. You look at him through your lashes and wish he'd let you fall—he gazes at you so intently that if he weren't Chuuya, you'd have punched him by now.

You feel yourself move upwards and stumble once you're on your feet again. Chuuya walks ahead, but his hand hovers behind him slightly.

"Well..." you say, grasping his fingers. You walk toward the PM car, which is parked in the distance.

Chuuya gives you a side look. "Well, what?"

"Well," you say. "Make yourself useful and kiss me."

Chuuya's eyebrows fly up and he stops. "Useful? I just saved your ass from—"

You drop your bag and cover his cheek, smiling as your lips meet his. It's messy, and you swear you felt his teeth nip your bottom lip by accident, but it's nice. Chuuya's fingers tickle the sides of your neck, and he mumbles something incoherent.

You pull back an inch and peck his lips once more when he chases after you. "What?"

Chuuya sighs and leans his forehead against your shoulder, his hands moving to your waist. "Thanks for getting me outta there."

You laugh softly, burying your hands in his hair, moving his hat onto your head so it doesn't fall on the ground. He doesn't thank people often; he doesn't need to with his hatred of initially putting himself in that position and his constant obligation to save everyone.

You don't need his thanks; you never have, but you just kiss his cheek and reassure him. "Always."

Chuuya turns his head, and you feel him press delicate kisses on your neck. He trails his lips to your earlobe before laughing lowly in your ear, squeezing your sides.

You put your hands on his cheeks and pull him out of your neck. His face is squished between your palms, and you stop yourself from kissing him silly. Chuuya wraps his hands around your wrists, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles on your pulse points. His blue eyes stare into yours, and the butterflies in your stomach refuse to settle.

“You can stop staring now,” Chuuya mumbles, his cheeks blooming red. He'd blame it on the breeze if you tease him about it.

You shake your head, smiling bashfully. “No, you look pretty."

"Oh, please," Chuuya scoffs, eyes sweeping the building behind you. The subordinates deemed the perimeter clear before, but Chuuya scowls at the place anyway. "Let's go."

Sighing, you pluck his hat off your head and put it back on his. "Lead the way, pretty boy."

Chuuya begrudgingly fixes his hat and swings your bag onto his shoulder. "Only if you stop calling me that."

You tsk, wrapping your arms around his middle. "Can't deny what's true."

Grumbling, Chuuya throws his arm over your shoulder and draws you into his side. "Whatever."

[oceaneyesinla]

I needed to write Chuuya, because he has taken my whole heart

Divider by @/cafekitsune

Chuuya pushed open the door to his office, intending to cross the room to his desk and finish the paperwork still outstanding from his last mission. It had been pushed aside in recent weeks due to unrest in Yokohama, which could only be solved by yet another uneasy alliance with the ADA. It wasn't what he wanted to spend his evening doing, but the quicker he finished, the quicker he could get home.

Instead, he stopped dead just a couple of paces inside, blinking slowly at the sight before him - you, his girlfriend, waving at him from the fancy velvet couch he splurged on when he became an executive. Of course, having you there wasn't a problem; on the contrary, he loved having you nearby, and he would never pass up an opportunity to see your pretty face.

Problem was, you never should have been able to get into the building, much less up to the executive offices, only a floor below Mori-san's own. He would criticise the Port Mafia members protecting the building, but he knew from experience just how cunning you could be, and working with Dazai day in, day out only made you more of a menace.

“You don't look happy to see me, Chuuya.” You pushed out your bottom lip in an exaggerated pout, and you had never looked cuter. He moved to cradle your face, running a thumb over your plush lip.

“You know that's not true, angel. I'm just wondering how you got in here.”

Your pout was quickly replaced by a bright smile and a mischievous shine in your eyes, “A master can't reveal their secrets! What if you block my entrance and I have to find another way in?”

“Pretty sure nothing would stop you for too long. I know you and shitty Dazai memorised the place years ago.”

You took his hand in your own, pressing a kiss to his palm even as that cheeky smile remained in place, “That doesn't sound like something we would do. Anyway, I only did it so I could come and see Chuuya whenever I want.”

That, he was grateful for. He had already been envisioning you, shuffling around in an empty apartment, waiting for him to come home. Having you here, sitting pretty for him on his couch, was the best motivation for him to finish up quickly. After all, his girl needed to eat, and he needed to wrap you up in his arms in your shared bed.

“Can't leave straight away, angel. Mori-san needs this paperwork.” He tried to soften the blow by smoothing a hand over your hair, brushing a few stray strands behind your ear.

Your smile morphed into something softer, and he loved you a little more for understanding just what being a Port Mafia executive entailed, “I figured. You've been running yourself ragged the last few weeks, partnering up with us. I came here to wait for you, so we can go home together.”

His sweet girl. He leaned down, pressing a chaste but loving kiss to your lips, reluctantly pulling away to take a seat at his desk. As he started to write, pen scratching against the paper, you pulled out a book - the latest volume of your favourite manga, he noted with a smile.

It turned out the work was a lot more bearable when every so often, he could flick his eyes upwards and watch you enjoy your manga; silent gasps and mouthed words escaping you every so often. It was entertaining, to be privy to your excitement. He knew he would get a detailed retelling of the story thus far, and he couldn't wait.

With a final signature, his work for the evening was done. Mori-san could have it first thing in the morning. Right now, he had far bigger priorities. You had stopped shuffling in the last few minutes, and when his eyes travelled to you, he had to hold back an affectionate chuckle.

You had turned onto your side, facing the room, your manga tucked into your arms like the world's most uncomfortable teddy bear. Your cheek was smushed against the fabric of the pillow tucked under your head, and he thanked his past self for investing in such expensive cushions. Only the best for his girl. To top it all off, your mouth was slightly open, little puffs of air escaping you as you slept.

All in all, you looked silly, you looked comfortable, and you looked like the most beautiful thing he had ever set his eyes upon. How he got so lucky as to have you in his life, he wasn't sure, but he would never take your presence for granted.

With a smile he knew was far too fond for a hardened Port Mafia executive, he tidied up his loose ends and made sure everything was in order. Once he was ready to leave, he quietly approached the couch, slipping one arm under your knees and one under your back, gently lifting you up and cradling you against his chest. He tried to jostle you as little as possible, but years of living in the darkness of Yokohama's underworld meant you stirred anyway. You relaxed almost instantly, though, resting your head against his shoulder and nuzzling against his neck.

“We goin’ home?” Your words were muffled by the skin of his neck, and still sleep heavy. He tightened his arms around you just a little, holding you closer against him.

“Yeah, angel, we're going home.”

You pulled away from him just enough to let him see your sleepy smile before your head thunked against his shoulder once more. He didn't need to look to know you were already slipping into sleep again.

Getting out of the building was easier than he expected - he had visions of bumping into Mori-san, or Akutagawa. Thankfully, the only person he saw was Gin, who took one look at the precious cargo he carried and pointedly looked away.

He slid you into the front seat of his car, carefully buckling you in and pressing a kiss to your forehead before circling to the driver's seat. When he got in, he turned his head to find your eyes watching him, slow blinks doing nothing to mask your adoration. He felt a flush in his cheeks at the attention - after all this time, he still wasn't used to your open, unshakable love for him.

“Love you, Chuuya.” You reached out to squeeze his hand, and when he tangled your fingers together and lifted your hand to his lips, the smile you gave him could have lit all of Japan.

“Love you too, angel.”

[silawastaken]

do you ever think about the night that dazai and chuuya realised they had been missing each other longer than they'd known each other?

At some point, between the three and four year mark of Dazai leaving the PM, they both had a moment where they realised how long it had actually been. They realised why something in their life wasn't quite right despite the grief having mostly worn off.

For Chuuya, it was in the evening. He's a busy person, when he learned Dazai defected he resolved not to think about it while working. Dazai no longer had a face or a name. The clinical detachment he used to loathe and simultaneously envy Dazai for became the only thing that stopped him from having a breakdown every time something he needed to work on because of the former demon prodigy crossed his desk. It was the only thing he could ever replicate Dazai's carelessness towards.

Then, he gets home from work after a particularly long day and has to resist the urge to crash into his bed fully clothed. He takes his time and goes through the motions, relaxing and getting ready for bed until he crashes onto his couch and can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that he doesn't have any more work to do.

Then, he sees something. Maybe he's looking for something to watch and sees a particular movie or show, maybe he's scrolling through social media and sees a brunette with brown eyes, maybe it's a flower or a constellation but he's reminded of Dazai.

Something uncomfortably close to hurt and grief fills his chest, and unwillingly, his eyes flick to the date, and his brain reminds him that Dazai would be 21 for a few months by now. Dazai was 18 when he left. Unbidden, he thinks about his and Dazai's 18th birthdays respectively, and the chaos they cause. He has to force himself to not dream about what they could have done for his 21st. What they could do for his 22nd. He gets up for a bottle of wine and a glass.

For Dazai, it was slightly different. He had more time to process, during his years alone while waiting out the clearing of his criminal record, a few weeks at a time in a foreign country under a fake name, he had all the time to mope around. His daydreaming of what things he could have changed was endless, he spent day after day rebuilding worlds in his head where he returned to Yokohama to break into Chuuya's apartment and drag him to france, or russia or america, anywhere as long as he was there.

So, it was a mistake he hadn't made in a long time, following along behind his chattering coworkers with his hands in his pockets, smiling and joking until he passed something he hadn't seen before in a spot he used to visit, and ran over to check it out, turning back around with an excited "Chuuya, look!" only to be met with empty air and his coworkers slightly further down the street from when he ran away.

For a few moments, he just stares at the empty spot where he expected Chuuya to be, where he should have been, an ache in his chest making itself known again, the hole which had temporarily been filled with new faces and names widening to recreate the gap where Chuuya once was. (That little hole in his heart was much too big, Dazai thought, since Chuuya was so tiny. The joke he attempted to make to himself only made it hurt worse.)

When he returned to his coworkers it wasn't quite with the same enthusiasm before. That night was spent with a bottle of sake and a small collection of old photos, dates all over three years prior.

Neither bring it up, but there's a small sense of relief when they come face to face in a port mafia basement, that they can make up for the fourth year, that they have the chance to know each other longer than they missed each other again.

[chocsra]

✧ "YOU CLING TO YOUR PAPERS AND PENS;

(wait until you like me again)"

☆ synopsis ↺: your ex, chuuya nakahara drunk calls you, only to realise you're all he ever wants. (based off arianas song: we can't be friends (wait until you like me again)

☆ content ↺: angst, slight stormbringer spoilers, swearing

Haunted - (of a place) frequented by a ghost.

—You were no ghost, Chuuya knew that. But in the rise of the sun, and awakening of the moon, he was haunted.

No, he didn't feel haunted. He's convinced he is, even if the fuel to propel those kinds of shitty thoughts is getting drunk on days when he should be resting.

—

"I want to burn every memory of you."

Chuuya murmurs under his breath, gloved fingers twirling the base of the wine glass to stimulate his turbulent thoughts—vibrant emotions that swish in the swell of his chest.

"You'd have to burn your own skin." A sweet voice breaks through the bitter taste of the red wine dissolving on his tongue. The statement and hollowness of your voice make him sharply turn behind him. Nothing. Just his empty office, the window before it, the cold air dancing around his tensed-up figure. Your absence evocative him.

Chuuya exhales sharply, a chill running up his spine. "My own skin?.." He takes a slim hand to card his russet locks in a cold confusion, scoffing just a bit. "Shit."

The mafioso leans back in the leather seat of his chair, before pouring the last of his wine bottle into the glass. Patting down his bolo tie and white dress shirt, he decides to waste this night drowning in red wine. A heavenly distraction from the reality of your hauntings, or the reality of your absence.

18k worth of alcoholic beverages wasted, down in the trash. Inaudible words conform on the curve of his lips, words of plea. It was a huge contrast to when Chuuya left you. "I'm sorry, really am.." he whispers, remnants of his scarlet wine ghosting over his lips. Fedora placed atop his head, covering his face, Chuuya lazily took out his phone, punching in his password with the messy coordination of his gloved fingers.

You're here, that's the thing.

Your number.

The mafia executive takes a shy and longing peek at your contact. Your last call 3 months ago, your profile picture stained with an old photo of you kissing his knuckles with an innocent smile tugging on your lips, and his thumb hovering over the 'call' button. Even in this drunken state, in the back of Chuuya's mind, he knew calling you would be audacious and pathetic. Especially when he left you first, but in the front of his mind, all he wanted was you. To hear your voice, either empty or full anger, or your voicemail, polite and concise, to hear the humanity that he lost by losing you.

The winter night

Chuuya presses on the call button, his screen lighting up and ringing. No real expectation that you were going to pick up, considering the time and caller. In the sea of his heart, that dreadful feeling was fought back by the artistic shuffle of his delusions. His once romantic poems chanted a mantra for you to pick up, that you were going to pick up the phone, not your ghost.

Chuuya's brows furrow, planting a line in the middle of his glabella. On this chilly night, where the usual jazz tunes of ensembles played in the Port Mafia's lobbies, musky scents and a hint of jasmine, and the click and clatter of heels and dress shoes..

My heart grieves;

..Chuuya feels himself yearning. Yearning for something more than this. The scent of home, your articles of clothing, your skin. He wants back the memory he wants to burn so badly, to smell the smoke and die on that same hill..

Greives without reason…

.."Please pick up." He feels himself pleading. Chuuya may tell himself you're all he wants right now, alcohol running wild in his noggin. However, he questions if he even knows what he needs..

My heart is rusting, turning purple.

.."Hi, you've reached [Y/N]. Thanks for calling, can't answer at the moment though. But if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Beep.

The night ends as Chuuya gently shuts off his phone.

But his first dream starts once enough alcohol is in his system.

They say the mind blocks out traumatizing memories to save itself from despondency. Nakahara Chuuya dreams, but he cannot grasp to remember that concept. Maybe, it's awful memories from his childhood or hallucinations from the children of the Sheep, or the Flags; Albatross, Doc, Pianoman, Iceman and Lippman.

"I'm sorry, if I stay with you, you'll just get hurt."

As if he was restricted in the ocean of his mind, Chuuya sees you and himself in your living room.

"I won't! You can send your bodyguards for protection, it's fine."

A constricted groan pulls from Chuuya's throat as he stares at the couch, wooden flooring, and anything but your pleading face. He remembers this all too well, the evening you separated. It was when Dazai left the mafia, and Chuuya continued to see his men drop like flies day after day from just his job alone. Apart from the other half of his soul disappearing completely, every piece of humanity he built up came crashing down on the body that his older brother called 2383 lines of code.

"It's not other people, it's myself! Don't you fuckin' get it?!"

A piercing silence fills the room. Aside from Chuuya's heart dropping at his own hurtful words, he tries to shut himself up, for looking at the way your eyes conform from pleading to understanding was all too much.

His voice cracking from the boiling misery in the pit of his stomach, Chuuya continues to look down, refusing to meet your teary eyes.

"You won't gain shit by being with me. I'm a monster, [Y/N]. I'm sorry."

The mafioso stares right at your pitiful figure, crystal tears poking the corners of your eyes. Like the hauntingly beautiful ghost he's ever seen through tunnel vision, Chuuya hasn't seen your truthful humanity in so long. For he saw you—a figment of himself, as he saw himself; inhuman.

...

"I'll always love you."

Chuuya snaps awake on his office chair, rays of sunshine ghosting over his ivory skin.

Pant.. Pant.

The man's eyes gaze at the loose ends of his office: the empty wine bottle, his dishevelled clothing, and the same, corporate-filled air surrounding him. Then, his phone.

2 missed calls.

Chuuya inhales sharply.

Perhaps it was the remnants of his dreadful hangover that took over him, that made Chuuya make the stupidest decision the Port Mafia has ever. But, his drunk words were his sober thoughts and, he wanted you back.

From [Y/N] [L/N].

Sent 7:35 AM — "Are you okay?"

And so, he swiftly grabbed his overcoat and dashed out of his office.

—

Mwah!

"I, Nakahara Chuuya, vow to love you forever and ever."

The man, bent down on one knee kisses the back of your hand teasingly. Chuuya Nakahara always took it next level, his grand gestures and sophisticated aura made him all the more appealing. That also meant planting an abundance more kisses on your fingers and knuckles.

You two had this unspoken code for each other: that hand kisses were an extremely valuable thing. Since Chuuya believes his hands are the ignition for Corruption, and are usually used for destruction, you could've chosen to have done anything with his ungloved hands to avenge the lives he's taken; but instead, you choose to kiss them.

"You're being corny again," you giggle, pointing to the bouquet in your hand—irises. "you even got me flowers."

You hit his head, huffing. "Hey!"

The mafioso smirks, chuckling. "I think you should be proud of yourself though," He teases, rubbing your hand gently, "you finally cooked something other than instant noodl—

Thwack!

—

In a disorienting manner, Chuuya hops off his motorbike at your workplace. Inhaling softly as he holds a bouquet of irises. All kinds of turbulent thoughts ran wild in his head, especially since he didn't get to shower yesterday. The man patted down his clothes and fixed his fair, adjusting his wrist to check his watch.

8:54.

Your work starts at 9:00 sharp.

Just as he's rushing to adjust his raven collar and fedora, the sight of your hair and work uniform catches his eye.

"Wait!"

—

Distance, timing and expectations.

The great adversaries of love.

A person cannot change distance or timing, but expectations are self-inflicted.

Chuuya felt like you were always going to expect more from him because he felt like he lacked in every way besides destruction. He expected that he was going to hurt you after Dazai left the Port Mafia, like a lingering spirit after they've lost their other half. Chuuya was responsible for inflicting negative 'what if's because of his own insecurities, losing you in the process.

He expected because you wanted him to stay back then, you were going to want that forever.

Because that's clearly not the case right now.

—

The redhead finally sees you in the sea of passersby, a clear image of your smiling face, pretty outfit, and glowing aura.

You stood out to him just like before.

So did the man beside you, with a bouquet of daffodils.

He took a fancy bow and kissed the back of your hand, handing over the flowers.

Oh, how irises—the flower of light, brought nothing more to him than darkness.

As crystal tears paint his eyes, Chuuya ponders the ache in his heart. He was truly foolish to believe more in your ghost, than you.

✧ chocsra™

[chuuyrr]

chuuya has me gushing so bad rn i knew harukawa was cooking up good in the kitchen-

[cvntydazai]

the regulars

you catch the eye of two regulars that come to the diner you work at

pairing; dazai osamu x fem!reader x chuuya nakahara

word count; 3.6k

content warning; nsfw (minors do not interact!), threesome, unprotected sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of suicide (it’s dazai obv), degrading (dazai calls reader a slut), lowkey meandom!dazai, softdom!chuuya, oral sex (m&f receiving), backshots.., reader is held hostage (not by dazai or chuuya), cursing, unedited writing, probably a lot more

authors note; my first post on here! i’m pretty proud of this!

the diner was almost quiet in the mornings, very few customers and even fewer employees were present. it was usually just yourself and the cook until around noon when the lunch rush hit, but that was okay with you.

it allowed you catch up with whatever hobby you had going on at that moment, this time it was crocheting. whatever online forum that promised you it was easy was lying, you could barely finish the small square you had started.

just as you were beginning to grow frustrated you heard the familiar ding of the diner’s door, alerting you of a customer.

the brown haired man was sopping wet, a dreary gaze in his eyes as he shuffled to an empty table and awaited your service. you jumped to, notepad and pencil already in hand as you approached him.

“i don’t recall rain being on today’s forecast.” your weak attempt at a joke flew over his head entirely.

“oh, it’s not raining. i was trying to die in the river.” the confession didn’t surprise you as much as it should have.

there was talk of a man who was always spotted trying to drown himself, you assumed it was rumors.

“hmm, didn’t seem to work out.” it was the only response you could muster for the bizarre statement.

he opened his mouth to respond but as he lifted his eyes to meet yours he stopped, mouth agape and eyes wide like he had a groundbreaking revelation upon catching your eyes. you cleared your throat, cheeks growing warm from his staring.

“i didn’t realize i was in the presence of someone so beautiful. how rude of me not to greet you with the respect you deserve.” a cheap compliment, but his confidence when saying it was cute.

“what can i get you?” you changed the subject, tapping your pencil to your notebook.

“your number, if it’s available.” with rolled eyes you sighed, he overdid it now.

“let’s start off with your drink, what can i get you?” with a bit more push you questioned him.

“whatever type of whiskey you have.” you hummed, quickly scribbling down his drink and scurrying off to grab it.

when you went to the back the line cook was there prepping for lunch, he only greeted you with a small smile.

his eyes widened when he saw the whiskey you were pouring into a glass.

“a bit early for that, isn’t it?” you snorted.

“it’s for a customer.” he didn’t continue but you could feel his judging gaze.

after delivering the odd man his drink and a bit more bickering you got him to finally order something. just as he was leaving the restaurant got busy so you didn’t have time to wave him goodbye before he was out the door. and that was it, you expected to never see him again.

your shift was usually from open to close, so you swallowed your odd interaction you had that morning and continued on with your day. you got through the lunch and dinner rush without issue and now it was just you and the closing cook.

this was a normal day for you, working long hours and making poor pay. the tips were nice, but did they make up for all the rude customers you face on a daily basis?

you hear the ding of door, it’s ring echoing through the empty restaurant. with 45 minutes until close you wanted to tell whoever was there to leave, but your moral compass fought back with you.

a short man wearing a long coat and a strange looking hat. he was alone, you were thankful for that. you didn’t need a large party right before close.

when he sat down you finally approached him.

“hello, what can i get for you?” he didn’t look up at you, his eyes still scanning the menu.

“just a beer.” a strange request to ask at such hour, especially with a bar being just a couple of blogs down the street. you didn’t voice these thoughts with your customer and instead went to fetch his drink.

when you returned you saw that he was writing down notes in a notebook that he quickly pushed away when he noticed you looming over him. you smiled, setting down the drink and also taking a seat directly across from the stranger.

he shot you a strange look, one that held a mix of curiosity and annoyance.

“we close soon, thought i’d keep ya company.” he scoffed.

“how generous.” laced with sarcasm but there was a small smile playing on his lips.

you two talked for only a little bit, you asked him about what he was writing but he mentioned that it was classified, having something to do with his job that he wouldn’t reveal. eventually you both had to go home as the restaurant was closing. you were surprised by just how fast the time had come and gone when talking to the stranger

“i can walk you home, if you want me to.” he offered, to which you smiled.

“i’m gonna catch the late night bus, but thank you mr..”

“you can just call me chuuya, it’s nice to meet you y/n.” he said, his eyes trained on your nametag.

and then you parted ways, that was what you assumed to be the last of him.

thoughts of the two strange men you met today danced around in your head until you finally succumbed to the exhaustion of the day, the exhaustion that would follow you into the morning for another shift.

the very next day, your next shift you were surprised to see the brunette from the last morning. he waved, noticeably brighter this time around.

“goodmorning!” he yelled, motioning for you to come over.

you complied as he took your hands and sat you down beside him. with little shame he flirted, his mouth moving so fast you could barely keep up. you were able to introduce yourself to him and he did the same, he revealed that his name was dazai.

“would you do me the honor of committing a double suicide with me?” he asked for the millionth time, his bandaged hands snaking up your wrists to hold you tenderly.

“you’re cute, but no.” and with that you shook him off, his hands flying back dramatically.

he stuck around for a bit longer, you made sure he had enough whiskey to keep him busy. sometimes you would catch his gaze as you worked and he’d flash you a pretty smile.

but the times when you would look and he wasn’t staring he’d usually be rubbing his finger around the rim of the glass with his other hand supporting his resting head as he stared out the window in deep thought. you couldn’t help but admire the man, he was attractive.

and just like yesterday he left during lunch rush and your day continued on. and into the night you would encounter yet another familiar face.

chuuya sat in the same spot as he did last night, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for you to approach him.

“seems like i have two new regulars.” you muttered under your breath as you made your way to him.

he ordered just a beer again and you once again sat down in front of him to chat. you were lucky he came in so close to closing so you usually weren’t even busy.

you chatted for a bit and then, just like yesterday you both got up to leave and he offered again to walk you home. you would just take the bus again.

this routine of your morning regular and your night regular became an almost everyday thing. sometimes one of them wouldn’t show and it worried you but they always showed up again the next day.

you got to know the two of them well, it occurred to you one day just how different they were from eachother. the only similarity was their love for booze, and how much of it they could drink.

somewhere down the line of this routine you started to catch crushes on both men. how scandalous, you thought to yourself. two men practically drinking themselves to death and you were swooning over both of them. who could blame you when they both gave you that certain look. chuuya more subtle than dazai by a long shot, but the ‘fuck me’ eyes they both gave you didn’t lie.

you shook your head, you shouldn’t be thinking these things about strangers that you barely knew. they were just customers, and that’s all they ever would be.

little did you know, they were both thinking the same thoughts about you. dazai hadn’t been able to keep you out of his head since the very first day you two met, for once he was glad his attempt at suicide failed him because it meant meeting you. chuuya was in the same predicament, he never planned on meeting you but once you hooked him in he couldn’t escape.

the pretty diner girl that has two very dangerous men roped in her smile.

when dazai came in the morning to the diner he was expecting to see you there, smiling and waiting patiently as always, but instead in your place was another waitress. he frowned, sitting down in his usual seat.

when the unfamiliar waitress walked to his table he immediately questioned her,

“where’s y/n? this isn’t usually her off day.” she seemed caught off guard, clearing her throat awkwardly.

“i’m sorry, i don’t know. she didn’t show up for her shift so i was called in, the owner tried calling her but she didn’t pick up.” something felt wrong, he felt it in his bones.

he excused himself, muttering something about only wanting to be served by you. just as he was standing his eyes caught a piece of paper hidden between the ketchup and mustard bottle that were displayed next to the menus on the table.

he took the folded up note and quietly exited the diner.

chuuya would experience the same oddity at a later time that day. he saw a different waitress and spotted the note.

and the note read that they were to both be at a specific location at a specific time.

said location was that of an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of the city. it would occasionally be put on dazai’s radar if he was looking out for stolen goods or missing people but for the most part no one paid attention to it.

dazai arrived early, surprised to see a particular short man already at the entrance of the warehouse.

“what the hell are you doing here, dazai?” chuuya interrogated first, his voice on edge.

“i could ask you the same thing.” dazai shot back, a pout on his lips.

at first dazai suspected chuuya was behind this, but when chuuya explained your description and that he was looking for you he understood almost instantly.

“someone must have been watching us, found the opportunity to take advantage of the situation.” chuuya spoke, dazai humming in agreement.

“well, if i’m stuck with you at least be useful.” dazai said, walking ahead into the entrance of the warehouse with a shouting ginger following behind him.

the exterior looked better than the interior. old construction equipment everywhere with strange stains covering the walls and floors, it was definitely abandoned.

chuuya worried for you, not because he feared that you were hurt but because this place reeked. he could hardly imagine you being here, sitting somewhere in a cold dark corner with a dangerous person holding you hostage.

“someone’s got a lot of nerve to target her..” chuuya mumbled to no one in particular.

“they do, which is why we’re going to take care of whoever did this and get my woman back.” dazai responded, keeping his eyes peered for any signs of you.

“your woman? in your dreams!” chuuya let out a loud laugh that he hushed immediately after hearing what sounded like a cry coming from deeper in the warehouse.

both men sprinted forward, stopping once met with the sight of you chained to the floor with a man peering over you.

he turned to dazai and chuuya, a wide grin on his face.

you could barely see the scene before you, your head fuzzy from whatever the stranger had hit you with to knock you out. you barely remember how it happened, you only recall waking up in the dark with the man who abducted you.

just like before, everything was fading to black, this time your mind at peace now that you knew help was here. you didn’t know if it was the police or whoever, you didn’t care. just being content that someone came for you, you let the darkness consume you.

-

when you came to you saw dazai and chuuya standing over you, yet to see you were awake.

“don’t try to wake her up, she’s clearly exhausted, dazai. let her wake up on her own.” you heard chuuya’s voice along with a sigh from dazai.

“i just want to make sure she’s okay. especially after you carried her around like she was a damn ragdoll.” the brunette muttered.

“what else was i supposed to do? sit there and let that guy shoot at us?” you groaned, the loud noises not settling well on your ears.

everything went silent. both men stared down at you expectantly. you sat upright, wiping your eyes.

“dazai? chuuya? you two know eachother?” it was all you could muster, it made dazai grin.

“unfortunately.” chuuya mumbled, shoving away the arm dazai was trying to lay across his shoulder.

“i’ve got to say y/n, i’m hurt! i thought i was the only man in your life.” you ignored dazai’s dramatics, instead looking to chuuya for answers to where you were.

he explained the entire situation, after they “took care of” the person who abducted you, they brought you to chuuya’s apartment and have been waiting for you to wake up since.

the explanation made you realize just how awkward of a position you were in. you laid on the end of chuuya’s bed with the two men standing over you. you squeezed your thighs together and gathered your thoughts. this was not the time.

“this is a lot to wrap my head around.. why did they abduct me out of all people?” you knew you had been abducted and held hostage but you still didn’t understand why.

“oh, belladonna.” dazai cooed, his hand reaching to caress your cheek.

“they thought to take out our common weakness.” chuuya continued, his palm resting against the other cheek.

they didn’t need to finish their sentence, you already knew. the lingering gazes from both men at the diner, the flirting from dazai, the gentlemanly offers to walk you home from chuuya.

they were wrapped around your finger, they always had been. there was no more denying that fact, they had risked their lives to save you.

“i.. guess i should be thanking my saviors then, shouldn’t i?” a double meaning, they both knew it too.

“mmm, i think so. don’t you agree, chuuya?” the shorter man nodded in agreement.

dazai was the first to move, his hand that was on your cheek drifting down to your shoulder as he eased you further into the bed. you complied, wide eyes glancing between the two.

your back hit the cushioned mattress, dazai joined you on the bed, laying on his side as he peered down at your chest that held your racing heart. you saw chuuya kneel down and spread your legs further apart.

they both worked simultaneously, dazai undressing your top half while chuuya worked on the bottom. the feeling of their fingers grazing your skin left you overwhelmed, completely at their expense.

you were fully undressed in a matter of seconds, the cold air of the night nipped at your skin. suddenly feeling insecure you attempted to reach your arms down to cover yourself, dazai caught them, pinning them at your sides.

“don’t hide, beautiful. let us see you.” he whispered, his words holding authority that urged you to comply, you did.

chuuya’s breath fanned over your exposed cunt, shaky short lived breaths that told you he was just as nervous as you were.

“are you ready?” you nodded, closing your eyes in anticipation.

you felt his tongue make contact with your slit, a constricted moan left your lips out of instinct. dazai’s rough hand grabbed hold of your chin, forcing you to look in his eyes.

his warm brown eyes held a sinister glint in them. he dipped his head into your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin around your collarbone.

the noticeable contrast between the two showed, chuuya’s sweet licks to your pussy against dazai’s rough sucking to your neck. a mixture of pleasure in pain, the perfect balance.

chuuya made work of your cunt, acting as if he’d never get the chance to taste you again. his tongue darting in and out of your hole at a rapid speed you could barely keep up with. his mouth attacked your clit next, sucking on the bundle of nerves.

“chu.. ah!” he added a finger to your hole, curling the digit inside of you to hit the places he couldn’t reach otherwise.

he could tell you were reaching your peak, keeping a steady pace to bring you over the edge.

dazai could tell too, so he pushed chuuya away from you.

you whined at the loss of contact, gripping dazai’s shirt as a weak attempt to beg for more. you caught sight of chuuya, your juices all over his chin. he shamelessly licked the finger that was previously inside of you.

“can’t let him give you your first orgasm, beautiful.” chuuya bit back a snarky comment, instead listening to the painful erection in his pants.

“switch me places.” dazai spoke, chuuya agreed with little hesitation.

dazai was now by your legs and chuuya sitting behind your head. the brunette was quick to flip you on your back and position you just where he wanted. your ass now in the air with him lazily rubbing his clothed erection against your ass.

your head dangerously close to chuuya’s crotch, your shaking hands gripping both of his thighs. while dazai took off his pants you hastily aided chuuya with his.

dazai wasted little time, aligning himself with your entrance. his hands gripping your ass while he began with his first thrust, one reaching so deep he nearly bottomed out. a grunt left your lips, squeezing chuuya’s sensitive thighs as a way to stabilize yourself.

you felt chuuya’s soft hands reach for your hair, massaging your head whilst shushing your whimpers that escaped with each thrust dazai threw into your aching cunt.

once a rhythm was found you put your focus on chuuya’s painfully hard member. his eyes on yours the entire time as he watched you lick the base of his manhood until you reached the tip. he guided your head down his cock, small praises leaving his lips the entire time.

“our pretty girl, being such a useful slut.” dazai spoke, landing a smack on your ass.

you attempted to moan but your lips were occupied, drool escaping your mouth with every thrust chuuya delivered into your throat.

the speed of their thrusts beginning to synchronize, you felt your core squeezing dazai harder. it only encouraged him, knowing you were close to your peak.

it was all so overwhelming, bringing tears to your eyes as you attempted to take it all, to take all that dazai and chuuya gave you.

“so pretty.. taking us so well.” chuuya mumbled, wiping tears that began spilling from your eyes.

he looked at you as if you were the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen, despite your hair being a mess and your eyes being red from tears.

you were all close, that much was clear from the way dazai had began to shut up and chuuya’s silent grunts had turned into breathless moans. you were no better, one hand still resting on chuuya’s thigh while the other reached for one of dazai’s hands.

dazai’s hips sped up, squeezing your hand tenderly whenever he hits particularly deep.

he feels his orgasm creeping up on him, your tight walls leaving him a shaky mess.

he’s the first to come undone, his seed spilling into you with one finally push of his hips. his orgasm setting off chuuya, cumming into your warm mouth with a slew of curses leaving his lips.

you swallow every drop, chuuya wiping your mouth with his thumb before lifting your head up to plant a kiss on your lips. dazai still thrusting inside you, overstimulating himself to get you to your breaking point.

“m’ cumming!” you announced, heat pooling in your stomach.

“let go, belladonna.” and you did, cumming hard on his cock.

the room was filled with panting sighs and beating chests as you all collected yourselves. chuuya was the first to move, scrambling to his bathroom to grab a towel to clean you up. dazai cuddled you on the bed while chuuya cleaned you off, dazai stroking your hair whilst humming you to sleep.

you refused to let the tiredness take hold of you until both men were in the bed with you. when chuuya joined, you finally gave in to the sleep that was calling you.

you had never slept better, feeling safe in the arms of two strangers who had become regulars in your life.

[whathorselegs]

If Not For You

Summary: A short two part fic of Dazai and Chuuya comforting each other through Dazai's unconventional expressions of emotion. Part 1 is teen!skk after the Dragon Head conflict. Part 2 is 22!skk Title taken from Maneskin's song 'If Not For You'

Pairing: Skk (Dazai x Chuuya) Can be read as a platonic or romantic.

Inspired by @unicornpopcorn14 's post about Dazai's unconventional shows of emotion

This was supposed to be silly but it ended up leaning way more into emotional hurt/comfort

Part One - If Not For You

Despite his small stature, Dazai had never found it difficult to locate Chuuya. If anything, it was harder not to notice him with all the noise he was usually making. Exclaiming at this, yelling about that, stomping about, sometimes- on the off chance Chuuya saw Dazai first- he’d still fling himself at Dazai with his gravity. Of course, that was usually when Dazai had played some prank or other and Chuuya was actively hunting him down.

Lately though, Chuuya had been disturbingly quieter, and just like Dazai was just about to now, he was increasingly finding Chuuya curled up in some secluded corner of an empty room, sulking.

No, not sulking, he reminded himself.

Mourning.

Again.

Dazai had never understood why people mourn the dead so intensely, sure, it was sad, but most things were. He thought it was the strangeness of having a person suddenly not be there at first, and that people in the mafia- who were used to losing people- would be just as unaffected as he was. Turns out, he was alone in that here too. Frequent exposure to death didn’t stop people mourning, it seemed. Especially not Chuuya. This was the second lot of friends he’d lost and whilst Dazai didn’t understand the reason behind people’s mourning, he had enough sense to show them a little more grace than he normally would.

So when he came across Chuuya, huddled up and alone in an abandoned meeting room for the third time this week, Dazai was also quiet. He could have yelled Chuuya’s name, made a joke about him hiding away like a mouse in the walls, something of their usual games, but they all just felt intensely wrong in this situation. As much as he would like to force their normal routines back into place, he knew that wouldn’t help.

He sat down on the floor beside Chuuya, who had his knees up to his chest, leaning against the wall and idly looking out the floor to ceiling windows. Though Dazai doubted he was actually taking anything of the scenery in.

“You’ll get a hunch if you keep sitting like that.” Dazai said, choosing a soft tone for the teasing, offering a branch for Chuuya to take if he wanted to reach out for normalcy. 

Instead Chuuya sucked in a short breath, tensing up, like he’d only just noticed Dazai and shot him an annoyed glare in warning.

No games then.

Dazai leaned back against the wall as he formulated his next move. He was supposed to be bringing Chuuya to a briefing, however, in the mood he’s in, Dazai didn’t fancy his chances trying to tell Chuuya to do anything. He needed to get him out of this funk first, clear his mind.

His head tilted to the side as he pondered whether it was possible to clear the mind of a skull that’s already empty. Any other situation and he would have said that out loud. Just right now, though, Dazai didn’t feel like getting pulverised. Trying to be sensitive to people's feelings was giving him a headache. He needed to relieve the tension building in his temples. Looking around, Dazai noticed this room had a sofa, perfect for curing his headache, but then he couldn’t just ignore Chuuya, still curled in on himself in the corner. That would make for a terrible sight.

And then it hit him, he could solve both problems at once.

“I know what you need.” Emboldened by his plan, Dazai went as far as to prod Chuuya’s side, earning him another glare. “You need to clear your head.”

After a moment of just staring sceptically at Dazai, Chuuya responded with a strain in his voice he couldn’t quite hide. “What?”

“Come on, I know a great method.” Not deterred by Chuuya’s lukewarm reaction Dazai grabbed the sleeve of Chuuya’s jacket and attempted to pull Chuuya up. The arm moved, but the rest of the boy remained sat where he was, like the immovable rock he was. 

“Why would I do anything you tell me to do?” Chuuya snapped, trying to yank his arm back and failing.

“Because, I’m right. Always. My methods have never failed us once. Ever.” He tugged at Chuuya’s arm as he spoke, seeing Chuuya subconsciously uncurling from his position, torn between ignoring Dazai and trying to shut him up. Dazai just had to toe the line between just annoying enough to motivate him to move and not enough to get his nose broken. 

Finally Chuuya stood up. “You smug little- You’re not always right.”

“Prove me wrong then.” Dazai dangled the opportunity in front of Chuuya, a bet was always a good motivator for him.

“Fine. Show me your dumb method and I will.”

He led them to the sofa, trying not to be too obvious about how pleased with himself he was. “This always clears my head.” Dazai informed Chuuya and he knelt on the sofa facing the backrest. When Chuuya didn’t do the same, he pointed next to him on the sofa. “Do as I do.” He barely managed to bite back the dog nickname.

Chuuya huffed, rolling his eyes before mimicking Dazai’s actions and mumbling something about how stupid this was under his breath. Instead of calling him out on it, Dazai let it slide and lowered himself backwards on the sofa, letting his legs hook over the backrest and his head dangle off the end of the sofa cushion. Chuuya looked at him like he’d just contorted himself into a pretzel rather than sat upside-down on a sofa, but he did follow Dazai’s actions.

“How is this suppose to-”

“Shush!” Dazai hushed him. “Just look out the window and be still.”

The familiar tingle of blood rushing to his face, the tickle of his hair slowly falling down and the dull pulse of his blood in his ears steadily began to build. Dazai felt his lips and fingertips turn numb as he watched the clouds pass outside the window and soon, there wasn’t a single thought in his head. No frustration, no confusion, no strange ache to somehow share in Chuuya’s pain, just the sound of his own heartbeat and both their gentle breaths. 

After a minute of quiet, he glanced Chuuya's way to find him staring out the window, face ridiculously red and expression almost blank. It may have actually looked blank to most, but Dazai had learned to see the subtle wonder with which Chuuya’s eyes saw the world. Wonder that those eye’s seemed to have been lacking recently. It made his all too loud heart flutter to see even the faintest hint of it’s return.

“See clear head.” He said quietly, or hoped it was quiet, hard to tell with all the blood in his head. “Bad thoughts are heavy.”

Chuuya only briefly met his gaze before looking out the window again with a deep, tired breath. “Yeah.”

“They fall right out your ears this way!”

At that Chuuya snorted, almost falling off the sofa.

Part Two - I Couldn't Get Off This Floor

Chuuya always locked his door. That simple fact was undeniable. His apartment contained too much sensitive information to be forgetting to lock his door. On the off-chance Chuuya thought he’d forgotten, he always turned around to double check and it was always locked. Which is why it was becoming an increasing annoyance to return home and find his door unlocked. Despite him having the only key.

Knowing the exact cause of this conundrum only aggravated Chuuya further. He hung up his coat and hat before removing his shoes and made his way into the front room ready to give said ‘cause’ a piece of his mind.

He halted immediately when he saw Dazai lying face down on the floor. Perhaps if this was any other person on the floor it might have been more alarming, but this wasn’t the first time Chuuya had witnessed Dazai in this state. Despite himself, Chuuya found his earlier annoyance melting away, his shoulders drooping as he took in the sight for a moment. Then he quietly made his way over to Dazai, grabbing a couple of cushions from the sofa as he got down on the floor with Dazai.

“Floor time, huh?” He said softly, poking Dazai’s shoulder. To which Dazai hummed in acknowledgement before turning his face in Chuuya’s direction. His forehead was marked by a shiny red square from where it had been pressed to the floor. Chuuya suppressed the desire to laugh at the sight and pushed one of the cushions Dazai’s way. It was accepted silently as Dazai tucked his forearms under it and rubbed his face against the soft fabric. No thanks, Chuuya noted, no words at all. So Dazai really was feeling off today.

Chuuya lay on his side, facing Dazai, resting his own cushion under his head. After watching Dazai a moment longer to see if he’d come out of his shell, Chuuya decided he was well and truly jammed in there. He reached out, pushing his hand under Dazai’s cushion to find the fingers hiding there and hooking them around his own.

“Have you eaten recently?” He asked.

There was a delay before Chuuya felt Dazai squeeze his fingers. Once for yes. 

“Promise?

Another single squeeze.

He couldn’t help the doubt in mind, Dazai was notorious for forgetting to feed himself when got like this, but Chuuya didn’t push it. He’d promised and doubting Dazai’s promises right now would only make him feel worse.

“Want to move to the bed?”

Two squeezes. Which meant no. 

More accurately this meant Dazai felt like he couldn’t move yet, he’d described it like the feeling of being trapped behind his eyes once, like his own body no longer obeyed him because of the sheer exhaustion that overcame it. So Chuuya wouldn’t pester him to move before he was ready.

“What about some music?”

One squeeze, yes.

“Blanket?”

One squeeze, yes.

“Contact?”

Two squeezes, no.

There was never a set rule as to what exactly helped Dazai in these situations, Chuuya simply memorised which suggestions most often helped. Music to quiet the thoughts, blankets for comfort and occasionally, physical contact like brushing his hair helped. The last one was the least likely for Dazai to say yes to, but in recent months there had been an uptick in yeses, so Chuuya always offered.

He stood up again and set about completing his tasks. He chose a soft classical CD to play, one he imagined Iceman would have enjoyed listening to. No words, the perfect selection of songs to just rest your mind to. Then grabbed a blanket from the bedroom and returned to Dazai, draping the blanket over him and lying back down at his side. Even if Dazai didn’t want physical contact, having someone’s presence beside him, not judging or trying to force him to move, just understanding and being still with him helped.

Chuuya closed his eyes, letting his own mind settle as he listened to the gentle music. Honestly, he knew he shouldn’t, but his work day had been so long, he could have fallen asleep right there.

A hand found his own again and when re-opened his eyes, he found Dazai watching him with his hand loosely wrapped around Chuuya’s. Dazai’s index finger tapped at Chuuya’s knuckle. Morse code he realised.

Thank you.

“Sure thing, partner.”

[blueberry-writer]

𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴!

·˚ ༘plot: do you really think he doesn't notice how everyone seems to want to take you away from him? (aka bsd mens when they're jealous!)

·˚ ༘ft: Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo, Nikolai, Fyodor

·˚ ༘tw:fem!reader, possessive behaviour, a bit of dark content, sfw, mention of guns and/or murder in Osamu and Nikolai's part.

·˚ ༘ a/n:okey, i'm really guilty for not posting for two months and more and i'm really sorry about it..I'll do my best to post as soon as i can but all the tests and things i have to study in this semester are really taking me a lot of time- to make up for it, here some hc!

You can see DAZAI jealous in two different ways: When he's being a drama queen or when he's really jealous.

The first, is when he notices that you are talking to a literally another male human other than him, but in a friendly way.

He knows you very well, maybe even more than you could ever think, he know that you see that guy only as a friend and nothing more.. buuut! we all know Osamu, he's still gonna by a dramatic pain in the ass

"Ohh my, belladonna! Are you cheating on me?! You're really breaking my poor heart!" Dazai interrupted the conversation between you and your friend. "whaa- Of course i'm not!" You answered him "i don't belive you! Look at you, talking with someone else other than me! Am i not your favourite anymore?!"He puts his hands on your hips and rests his head on your shoulder. "Or, am i?" he whispered. you sighed, he is always the usual dramatic, your usual drammatic boyfriend. "You are.. and what can i do to be forgiven?" "mhh, uh i know! a romantic double suic-" "do not even think about it" You cut his words "uff!..maybe.." he pointed his cheek with his forefinger "a kiss??" you smiled: "Deal!"

The second, when he's really jealous, it's really rare. Osamu's eyes glaze over with jealousy when he sees someone who could actually take you away from him.

He can see how you are really comfortable with that person and how he seems very intrested in you.

Of course, you're not gonna betray him, don't you? He's not gonna lost his angel,right?

At that point, not only Osamu Dazai is jealous, the demon prodigy is envious.

'why all that does seems so natural? is this how betrayal works? Why is this happening? Why all off that seems so...human? Is she going to leave m-... No. She's not. I can't forget that my poor angel is a human,it is obvious that she could be subjugated by tricks like this. I'll just..I'll just help her a bit to not fall in the trick'

Let's just say that, whoopsie! Oddly, Dazai's gun is suddenly out of bullets!

You heard the front door open,there was only one other person who, apart from you, had the keys to the house :"Ohhh belladonna, I'm hooome!" You got out of bed, half asleep " 'Samu, it's late! where have you been all this time?"you yawned a little as you spoke. "Aw, is my angel tired?" he chuckled. "Mh a bit, i was waiting for you" you rubbed your eye lightly to try to stay awake. "oh you'll make me feel guilty! luckily, I got you a surprise~" you were really so tired that you didn't realize that Dazai,in his left hand, was holding a bouquet of red roses. "do you like them?" he smiled. You were a bit surprised, how sweet of him, don't you think? "I love them!" This surprise really waked you up. You took a second to admire his figure, how lucky you are, he really is your type. Tall, slender, a good build, a gun in his right hand, brown hair surrounding his beautiful fac- uh oh, wait a second- "O-Osamu, why do you have..why do you have a gun in your right hand?" there was a second of silence before dazai's voice eased the tension "mh?oh!, don't worry, it's unloaded! Ya see?" he tried to fire a few shots but nothing came out of the gun, so it was definitely empty now. "I went out to buy new bullets because they ran out, and you know, for my job it's always better to have a gun in my pocket!" his smile looked so innocent, how can you not belive him? You sighed with relief: "You're right, sorry..gosh, what i was even thinking!"he put the gun on the couch and lifted you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck "don't worry your self so much bella" he took a deep breath, as if to inhale your perfume one last time, before starting to walk towards your room "shall we go to sleep now, my sleeping beauty?" You nodded while you leaned your head in the crook of his neck and closed your eyes. "i love you so much Osamu" You murmured he chuckled "i love you too, angel. i would do anything to have you by my side"

Its' really easy to understand when CHUUYA is jealous. He's visibly frustrated and gets annoyed much more easily. But if you ask him if he's jealous, he'll answer you with "Pft, me? jealous? Baby please, that's absolutely ridiculous".

Sometimes it's quite funny to see him jealous, he's like a chihuahua growling at everyone who seems interested in you, and it's adorable!

Even if there are those times, when he's cleary ensecure.

Now, don't get me wrong! He's Nakahara Chuuya, a port mafia esecutive, he's really strong and smart. he isn't ensecure about what he is. He knows his strengths and limits.

He's ensecure about other person value. No one can assure him that the person you're talking to right now, can't give you more love and attentions than he gives you. He know what he can give you, but he's 'scared' that maybe there's someone who can give you more than him. He want only the best for his love, he's scared that he can't give you what you really deserve.

Thankfully, Chuuya isn't very good at hiding what's on his mind, it doesn't take you a long time to understand what he's thinking about.

So please, remind your boyfriend that he's more than 'good enough' by cuddle him a bit more in those times. I know you can do it, dear!

you and chuuya were sitting on the sofa, or rather, he was sitting on the sofa while you were sitting on his lap. chest to chest, you had your legs wrapped around his waist and your hands were playing with his hair. "I love you" You whispered with a smile, interrupting the moment of silence that was created between you and him. "i..i love you too princess. i really, really do." He seems like he was still lost in his toughts. You sighed, "Chuuya, please, look at me" and in the moment your eyes met, you immediately understood what was on his mind. "sigh, you leave no other choice.." "mh? what do you mea—" You kissed him "I love you so much Chuuya Nakahara" You kissed him on the forehead. "You're more than enough for me" Now on his cheek. "I want nothing more than to be with you" Now on his other cheek. You kissed him once again on his lips "I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world" his eyes were wide open as his cheeks turn in a bright red: "God..I love you so fucking much, you have no idea"

RANPO doesn't become jealous very often. Like in the case of Dazai, he knows you and he know you see that person only as a friend. He's absolutely fine with you hanging out with your friends as long as most of your attention will still be focused on him.

He understands and is totally fine with you, once or twice, refusing to go on a date with him because you have to go out with your friends but if your rejections increase..well, this man will sure get jealous— why are you giving most of your attention to them and not him?? That's not fair! not fair!

Now, i think Ranpo could have two types of reactions:

◦Being sticky:

"Ranpo, please.. I already told you that this night i'll hang out with them!" you complained as you tried to free yourself from Ranpo's embrace. "Mhh,no! you've already gone out with them three times this week" he tightened his grip a little tighter and put his head in the crook of your neck. "That's not fair! I'm your boyfriend, not them!" he snorted. You were a little confused "..Ranpo, are you jealous?" There was a moment of silent, he was looking at you with a look that seemed to want to tell you 'Are you kidding me sweety?'. "Of course i'm jealous! wasn't it obvious? You're giving me less attention because of them..Do you really don't understand that?" You were a little surprised by how he admitted to being jealous without any problems— but Ranpo is still Ranpo after all. Well now, what excuse are you going to use with your friends to explain them that you can't go out tonight anymore?

◦Avoid you,until you understand "how he felt" when you 'rejected' him:

"C'mon! Why are you ignoring me??"you said in an exasperated tone, he's been ignoring you since this morning. "mph!" he snorts as he spins the swivel chair, leaving his back to you. "Ranpo i love you, but please, can you stop being childish and tell me why are you avoid me?". He sure was childish sometimes but you love it and he knows that. "i'm not childish! Why are you even bothering? Just go out with you friends since you prefer their company to mine!"He pouted "Oh but you know it isn't true!" "alalalalala i can't hear you! Guys can you hear her? Because i cant" Not only was he ignoring you, but he was also making a scene out of you in front of the agency. "Okey okey, i'm sorry! Can you please forgive me..?" "nope, that's not how it works!" you sighed, again, this guy is gonna make you crazy one of these one day. "Mhh, will you forgive if i buy you some snaks?" He turned in your direction, finally "That's not enough dear—" Your kiss was really really was unexpected for him "Not even if i spend all this day with you and i'll promise to give you more attention?" "You'll give me more attention that you give at them?" "I will for sure!" You smiled "..You really know how to make your favourite detective forgive you,don't you hon'?" He smiled back at you, and let you those beautiful emerald eyes that fall in love with.

Is like impossible to see NIKOLAI jealous—but only bacuse you can't see his jealousy, it doesn't mean that he's not!

Actually, we all saw how Nikolai is good at acting, right? So he'll play the part of the 'never jealous boyfriend' even when he's really jealous.

You can talk about and go out with every person you want, he for sure will not be the one to stop you—He doesn't have problems with your friends!..as long as they see you only as a friend as well.

But when you start to talk about someone who winned your love once(like an ex), or would have winned your love instead of him (like an old crush)..Well, he will act all lovely and being like "oh no,don't worry dove! You can talk about them,i don't mind!" while behind his wide smile he's allready planning something.

The death of that person? a threat? both? who knows! That's for sure an idea for a quiz

However, in front of you, you will only see you wonderfull 'never jealous booyfriend' with who you can speak about everything.

"and i swear, he was like my biggest crush on higschool!" You said while chuckling and smiling remembering you when you were a student

"Oh really?" Nikolai asked as he chuckle as well "i bet you were such a a messy student in love,dove!~"

"Yeah in fact,I was!" You keep smiling, sometimes it's nice to remember the past, especially when you can talk freely about it with your boyfriend!

"But then..i never saw him again after the last year of school" you sighed softly and chuckled "you can't imagine how sad I was about that at the time!..Now i only laugh when I think about it" you smiled.

Nikolai smirks a bit "well, you have me now~ don't you?"

You looked at him with a warm smile "yeah, and i'm glad about it"

"aww! dove, your gonna make me blush!i can fell my heart melting~" Nikolai put a hand to his chest, being dramatic, as usual.. but what is life without drama? boring!

You only chuckled at his reaction

ahh, nikolai..your nikolai, your boyfriend. He's so perfect isn't he?

He's handsome, funny, silly and extremely intelligent when needed. How can you not love this guy?

he doesn't even get jealous for you to see! He's such a good boyfriend that rather than playing the boring part of 'the jealous boyfriend', he kills without your knowledge all those who tried to get your love before him.

he gets rid of that nagging emotion called jealousy and you save yourself a trauma, it's a win-win situation, isn't it?

I have the head canon that FYODOR is quite a really possessive person, so i think he can sense even the slightest advance from other people towards you.

Of course, he's not the kind of guy who shows that he's possessive, instead, he will make small moves, almost unnoticed by you, but which imply that you are his, only his.

His arm around your waist as he listens to you talk with your friend, sometimes is closer to you a few centimeters more than usual, his intention of wanting to get all your attention making you forget who you were talking to until a few minutes ago.

There are only few times when he does something maybe a little more..evident. Looking at you with the smirk that you like so much while you try to converse with someone, he becomes a little more clingy which he usually isn't,he takes your chin with his index finger and made you to look at him, before leaving you a sweet and quick kiss.. all infront of your friend.

You blushed hardly after Fyodor kissed you infront of your friend.

"I- I-" You were trying to say something, but you were too stunned to speak.

Fyodor smirked"Oh? What is it now milaya? up until a few seconds ago you seemed to have a lot to talk about with your friend. why don't you keep talking mh?"

𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙/𝙤𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙! 𝙊𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜💙

[deonsx]

If They Argue With You

Feat: Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo

Not: You are the right side in the discussions here, but he understands this later and is trying to win your heart

Dazai Osamu

You had an argument a day ago and when she suddenly shouted at you, you stopped defending yourself and went to your room, slamming the door, and that night she went out too and didn't come back

You couldn't sleep at night, despite that fight, you thought about where he went at night and why didn't he come back, "could it be?" No, you quickly wiped that stupid thought from your head and went into the living room

The worry inside you grew every hour he didn't come. You were angry with him, but you couldn't stop worrying, where? You suspect that something has happened to because you know your lover, all your worries disappeared with the sound of the key on the door and you continued to watch your movie

Footsteps approached you and sat next to you. silence.. it was so reactionary you got up to prepare breakfast and went to the kitchen pulled back with a grip on your waist he pulled you towards him with his hands and rested his head on your neck "sorry about last night Bella"

his voice was muffled. you wanted to ask him "where were you osamu" did he go to someone else? you doubted your relationship "I slept in agency"

You got the answer that you were unresponsive, but you wouldn't forgive him that easily, you promised each other before your relationship started that you would be respectful and not shout. "Bella please" there was silence "let me cook dinner sit at the table"

This went on all day, giving you hugs and kisse. but you no reaction. if you give him what he wants so simply he will always do it. when you go to sleep he quickly comes to the bed and snuggles next to you he grabs your waist and buried his head in his neck "forgive me I promise I won't do it again"

"my heart is empty without you" the kisses continued you looked at him you ran your hand through his brown locks you tilted, his head towards your hand and he grunted

"Please don't do it again osamu"

"Never.. I promise it won't happen" he kissed your eyes and hugged you tight"

Chuuya Nakahara

You had a fight with your lover and he quickly threw the glass against the wall with his talent, you couldn't believe that he treated you like that and stopped talking. You let silence fill the room. you continued to eat your food in silence but obviously chuuya quickly realized what you were doing

"My love, I'm sorry I didn't mean to do it like that"

he kept staring at you but you remained unresponsive he constantly defended his own boss in the argument and refused to believe you now he's apologizing? he chose to trust her instead of trusting you made him think you were not worth it

"My love, it's just this-" "You don't trust me?" The silence repeated, "You don't trust me! Then what's our relationship worth?"

"you don't understand" you got up from the table and went to bed he didn't come to you during the night he probably slept in the living room

When you woke up, you smelled the smell of food, you walked slowly into the living room with your hair messy and saw your boyfriend with messy orange hair. With his hair tied up like a ponytail, your boyfriend cook all the meals one by one. he is a really good cook

when he saw you she smiled quickly "good morning my love" you wanted to ask his "you at home? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" he gave a warm sigh and took off his kitchen apron and sat down at the table "I quit" your eyes opened “you quit?"

“I left because I didn't want to fight with you again, youre right”

I wanted to cook our dinner this morning so you can forgive me so you can give me an idea of ​​my cooking? he grinned and spoke. you chuckled "let's see how many points you cook"

Ranpo Edogawa

You had a fight with him because you felt that he didn't pay enough attention to you and he was too fond of his job, sometimes he wouldn't even come home at night, and you were waiting for him at home at night. This has been about 1 month, he hasn't written anything about whether he will come to you like this or not

Even if you called him, he didn't pick up, of course you didn't think he was with someone else. but when you asked him why you didn't pick up the phone he said "I'll get stupid if I look at the phone too much" this indifference was driving you crazy but you didn't say anything

You waited for it to end for 1 month, but it didn't,he was always in the place called "agency", he came morning and night, but he went back 3-4 hours before you wake up and he is chaotic these days

you couldn't stand it and one night you decided to go to the agency, put on a nice formal outfit and got in your car and drove by opening the location. In the end, he was where he was every night for a month, he didn't introduce you to anyone, you just knew where he worked

You entered the apartment and climbed up the steps until you saw the door. you knocked on the door but no one opened it, you hesitated about whether to go in, what were you thinking when you came anyway, your mind was full but everything was disappearing.you finally got rid of the thoughts and you opened the door everything was dark but on the right there was a yellow light leaking from the slightly open door

you took your steps towards the light and when you looked through the doorway you saw a woman with ranpo a purple haired woman whose clothes looked like a doctor they looked like they were talking to her about something important but a thousand thoughts came to your mind but you thought you should be respectful and you knocked on the door all eyes turned to you "s/o?"

"Sorry, I was worried about you and I came..." he interrupted, "I always tell you not to do something stupid like that."you ran out of the apartment

the rain got you wet by the time you reached your car your hair was already wet you got in the car and started the car you paused with your boyfriend banging on the window his voice was muffled by the rain "s/o open the door, let's talk a bit" you thought about whether or not to open the window "tell me here" your eyes were full of tears "s/o. .please open the door, let's talk, I don't want argue”

the rain water was quenching him quickly "1 month ranpo.. you haven't given me any explanation for 1 month and when I come to work I see you with a girl friend but you shout at me instead of explaining"

"My colleague Yosana sure doesn't mind such things I told him about you and he knows you please open the door"

"You don't seem to care about me or you feel that way I can't take it anymore Ranpo" "We've been on a job for a month, you're right, I should have explained" the rain started to stop

"Please let's talk about this when you get home. be kind to me" you got quiet, unlocked the door and ranpo sat next to you, talking at length as you made your way home

Request Are Open

[calmlb]

one of my favorite headcanons is that Dazai defected right around Chuuya’s birthday

we don’t know exactly when he left, but we do know it was after october 26 & before june 19, & according to clues in dark era it sounded like it was around springtime in yokohama

idk enough about yokohama weather to know exactly what month it was but imagine…

Chuuya had been sent on a mission in the west for 6 weeks. he returned late in the afternoon on April 28th– just in time to ring in his 19th birthday with his shitty partner.

because why not? he’s got nothing better to do.

he’s even got a bottle of 1989 Petrus waiting to be popped open.

he reports to Mori for debriefing & all he can think about is how beating the mackerel in that racing game they’ve been playing while he was away would be the perfect way to start off his 19th year.

but when he turns to leave, the Boss stops him, telling him there’s something that he should know…

Dazai disappeared 2 weeks ago, & has now been declared a traitor to the mafia.

Chuuya’s blood runs cold. he doesn’t know how he made it back to his apartment— head muddled by hurt. shock. confusion. exhaustion.

he tosses his coat on the back of the couch & the first thing he sees is the bottle of vintage Petrus— still waiting for the celebration.

and celebrate he did.

Chuuya celebrated his liberation from that waste of bandages he called a partner.

he celebrated the success of the solo mission he’d just returned from.

he celebrated the end of the reign of the infamous double black.

he celebrated the fact that he’d survived 4 years of partnership with that shitty Dazai.

he celebrated Dazai’s freedom, which would likely save his life… the freedom Chuuya hadn’t been able to attain. he’d been left behind in the darkness by the one person who got it.

the one who believed in & fought for Chuuya’s humanity when no one else did.

Chuuya celebrated his 19th birthday. alone. again.

(he hadn’t even said goodbye— hadn’t asked Chuuya to come with hi-)

no.

Chuuya shook away those thoughts. he needed to clear his head. he wiped the back of his hand across his eyes & stumbled drunkenly across the room to grab his keys.

he made his way to the garage where his car was parked, clicking the button to unlock it as he approac-

BOOM!

Chuuya was thrown backwards onto his ass, barely able to catch himself in his drunken stupor. he blinked through bleary vision at the flames that were engulfing his car.

and wasn’t that just par for the course? the icing on his nonexistent birthday cake.

so much for that drive.

Chuuya watched the flames burn, & maybe it was the alcohol talking, but it felt almost symbolic— like closing this chapter of his life. all he could do now was move forward. just like he always did.

but not tonight.

tonight he would stumble back to his apartment & collapse into bed.

(in his inebriation, he hadn’t even noticed the black fabric burning up right along with his car)

he woke up the next morning, freshly 19 with a killer hangover, a smoldering car, & a missing ex-partner.

when he found the nearly empty wine bottle, he was kind of glad he hadn’t taken that drive…though his memory from last night was a bit fuzzy— what the hell had happened to his car?

his phone chimed with a text from Kouyou.

happy birthday, lad. don’t do anything stupid.

Chuuya couldn’t help the twitch of his lips. there were still people here who cared about him.

not long after this, he would be promoted to executive & decide that the Port Mafia was his family.

but for today, he would nurse his hangover & curse a certain mackerel’s name as he beat every high score between them in that stupid racing game.

happy freaking birthday to him.

the car bombing was inspired by this post bc it’s canon to me <3

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Kouyou Ozaki (self-aware)

Self-Aware! Kouyou Ozaki x GN! Reader

Warning: OOC. Yandere. Koyouou wanted to do some damage to Reader. English is my second language. Some slight spoilers.

Becoming self-aware

🌂 With self-awareness came hatred. And Kouyou Ozaki can't tell exactly, at whom her hate were directed to.

🌂 Was she mad at author, for putting them through the pain? Was she angry, because her "life" was the way it "was", because Author thought, sad backstory will make... readers... pity the character..? Was she angry at readers for liking tragic backstories? And what about Kyouka? What she did do deserve such treatment?

🌂 Kouyou can't tell for sure. Every time she tried to make some sort of scene out of her feelings or thoughts, they go awry, and Kouyou will get a headache, boiling anger and no answers.

🌂Nevertheless, Koyou just can't sit here, mopping all day... night... Whatever time was in this wrenched place. She must help other Port Mafia members. And Kyouka.

🌂 Despite the situation, Mori tried to keep his head cool, Kouyou can give him that. The idea of patrolling the city in pairs were good. She and Kajii were tusked to patrol the borders of Yokohama. Maybe, they could find a way out of the city.

🌂 There was something else. Not only hate. Hope. Hope of a mad person.

🌂 Maybe, it's just a cruel ability, that took over Yokohama's citizens? Maybe, if they find a way to escape Yokohama, the life will be back to normal? They will only need to kill perpetrator, and life will be back to normal. To normal real lives of normal real people.

🌂 If Koyou could, she would pray. Pray for an ability user, who took over Yokohama with their ability. For someone, they could reach. For someone, her Golden Demon could stab.

🌂 But then, Hirotsu and Chuuya brought news. Armed Detective Agency, including Dazai also were self-aware.

🌂 Of course, Koyou could pretend, that Dazai wasn't real, that he was a doll, an illusion. Just a tool to mess with everyone's brains. But, Kouyou knew, that it's not true.

🌂There is an ability user. Yokohama isn't under ability's effect.

🌂 And Kouyou Ozaki, Port Mafia Executive, "Golden Demon" ability user was created only for someone's entertainment.

🌂 But, there was also good news. Kyouka was... fine. According to Dazai, Ranpo, that detective, asked her to be his assistant, while he was investigating current situation. Kouyou was happy about that.

🌂 Illusion might be broken, world is big fake, but, right here and now, Kouyou Ozaki exists. And she has duty to fulfill.

🌂 And then, she felt entity's gaze on her.

_________

She and Kajii were paroling borders of Yokohama again.

Kouyou Ozaki felt both irritated and nervous. The world outside of Yokohama was even... emptier.

The closest metaphor Kouyou could find, is drawing of a forest, made by kindergartener, who didn't know about animals existence.

Wilderness outside Yokohama was empty. No animals, no birds, no insects. Even trees were limited. It looked like a park, not an inhabitant area.

And it was flat. No hills, no complete roads.

The river and road lead to nothing. They just... stopped. Like someone cut them.

And beyond that only empty sea of green grass with rare trees existed.

That's why that unblinking gaze in the sky made Kouyou nervous. It was natural fear. Fear of being stalked by someone, while being far away from safety.

But, irritation still was Kouyou main emotion towards that entity.

Kouyou knew what it was. Who they were.

Reader. A single one, Kouyou was about that. Another of that people, who wanted drama. Who wanted to see sad backstories.

Looking from afar. In the security of their real lives. Of their real world.

Oh, how Kouyou wanted to blind that Reader up above.

She wasn't the only one, who had that idea. Some time ago Chuuya said to her, that he dreams about the day he could show that person, how powerful his ability is. They will feel it on their own skin.

And then, time resets.

And Kouyou, once again, was tasked to look after fifteen-year-old Chuuya Nakahara, who has just joined Port Mafia.

__________

When they start feeling your presence

🌂 The shock of sudden time travel still was fresh in her mind, when Chuuya's words delivered the second shocking hit.

"Ane-san... I think, we were mistaking about... them... They are"... Chuuya thought carefully about his next words. "... seems not that bad."

Chuuya grinned for a second.

"And they knew, when to start playing good rock song."

🌂 Kouyou wasn't sure, what to say about it. Chuuya wasn't the one, who would change his opinion that easy. What happened between him and Reader?

🌂 And why she was hearing a laughter during Chuuya's and Dazai's bickering? Very soft and nice laughter.

🌂 Next time travel was felt worse. Because Kouyou woke up in the middle of the fight with Verlaine. But, something was off. King of Assassins was looking at something above his head. He wasn't paying attention to the battle.

🌂 After the battle, Chuuya was mumbling something with a smile on his face. And he was looking at something above his head.

🌂 And when Port Mafia found Verlaine, he was looking before him with a faint smile on his face. He was whispering.

"Perhaps, one day, we will meet. And I will show my gratitude for you... Little Light."

🌂 Kouyou could swear, that for one moment, she saw a shapeless blob, floating before Verlaine.

🌂 Another reset. This time, Kouyou and Mori was discussing Kyouka. And two new things appeared. First, a blinking blob of light, that appeared and disappeared from time to time. And a voice, coming from up above.

Pretty [||||||||||] her [|||||||||||] kimono.

🌂 A surprisingly kind smile appeared on Mori's face.

"Oh, so you finally can see Little Light, Kouyou-kun? Aren't they adorable?"

🌂 Kouyou didn't answer Mori's question, choosing to met with Kyouka. He heard, that Port Mafia and ADA were negotiating about creating a union. To get to the Real World. And met with Guiding Light.

🌂 Kouyou guessed, that Guiding Light were Reader. What happened while she was away? For a moment, Kouyou felt irritated. Why she wasn't included in more events? She wanted to know more about sudden change of hearts about Reader.

🌂 Kouyou didn't call Kyouka's cellphone that time. She only wanted to make sure, that she is alright. Nakajima can be free, for now.

🌂 Kyouka and Atsushi were at the same spot, Kouyou found them last? time. Atsushi was talking about something with Kyouka. Kouyou could hear some words he has spoken.

"them" "good" "will like" "kind".

And second voice also talked.

"hope" "Kyouka" "fine"

🌂 This tome, it was a talk, not a fight. Kyouka was fine. And, she really wanted to hear something from Guiding Light. Were Guiding Light hypnotizing people? Kouyou didn't know why, but she repeated that words, she told Kyouka the last time.

_________

"Listen to me, Kyōka. I know how you feel. But... some things are simply impossible. No matter how much a natural-born assassin like you seeks light... A flower that blooms in the dark can survive only within the dark. If you pursue the light, its heat will burn you up in the end."

Something soft curled around her neck. And Kouyou felt a wave of warmth.

Kindness. Appreciation. Love.

"sorry" "didn't deserve" "strong"

"Kouyou, I admire you. You are such a strong woman. I don't know if I could go through, what you had to go through. But, I think, you can open up a little... They respect you. And, I don't think, they will try to betray you again. One day, even in the deepest darkness, light will shine."

And someone pet her cheek.

[*In reality, you traced your fingers along Kouyou's manga frame.*]

_______

🌂 Kouyou returned to ADA's building with Kouyou and Atsushi. Other Port Mafia members already were there. And Kouyou really need time to think about everything.

🌂 Chuuya... was right. Reader's emotions don't feel fake. And, what was important to Kouyou, Reader didn't pity her. Perhaps, Kouyou should soften up for a bit.

🌂But, one problem remains. Kyouka. Will Reader felt kindness towards Kouyou as well? If they aren't, well, Kouyou's sympathy will disappear.

🌂 Kouyou just need to wait.

________

The union finally was established, and remains of Port Mafia permanently moved to ADA's building.

Fukuzawa and Mori were discussing with Fitzgerald about Guild joining them.

That's when Kyouka wanted to talk to Kouyou eye to eye.

"They saw my past. My parents. They hugged me."

Kouyou saw a faint smile on Kyouka's face.

"Atsushi was right. They are a good person."

When Kyouka left to help Atsushi with something, Kouyou looked up. At the Little Light.

"You... Never were a bad person, right? I am glad, that I learned about it before I could do something, that would upset Kyouka. Guiding Light, when we met... let me protect you as well."

_________

🌂 Kouyou now understand, why others wanted to meet Guiding Light. And why they want to hear more from them.

🌂 If only all of them could hear Guiding Light's voice more often.

And then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.

When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan

🌂 When they got access to Scout files, Kouyou immediately gave you most of her SSR Cards.

🌂 She, and some other people, who didn't get much spotlight, asked to be first, who gives you their cards. They want your attention.

"Kouyou has so many beautiful cards"

"I wish, there was SSR Kouyou Tarot Card, SR."

"I adore Chibi Kouyou from Port Mafia base."

🌂 Kouyou is planning, how she will protect you, when she got in reality.

🌂 Kouyou is interested in Japanese culture. She took some sewing lessons online. She wants to sew something for you.

🌂 Real World, if you will be near, doesn't seem so bad. Same to hope.

_______

You got another note in your inbox.

Kouyou with Sakura flowers Stamp.

"[Y/N], I hope, you are doing well. If someone is bothering you, tell me, when we met. I will deal with them accordingly. Stay safe. Kouyou Ozaki."

You smiled and opened one of the Kouyou's cards. You pet chibi sprite.

"I am doing good, Kouyou. Thanks for your concern. No one was bothering me, but, if someone do, I will tell you. I hope, we will meet."

You didn't notice, but a smile appeared on chibi Kouyou's face.