#healing >>>> redemption thingy

[seyfertgalaxy]

heres a stretch/small analysis about Lilith Clawthorne. but its mostly projection🌻

so, we all know that her and Eda wanted to join the Emperor's Coven together at a young age. and this is pretty obvious and kinda shown, but Lilith clearly still cared about Eda while she was in the coven.

and I'm tired of people saying Lilith is at fault entirely. yes, she shouldn't have cursed her sister and she should have known better, but she didnt expect *this*. she even says so. "i thought it would only be for a day". and she also states she should have shared the "pain" long ago. so she does that spell thingy(with this spell declared, let the pain be shared)and bOOM! both now have the same curse. and it was a step in the right direction and a step toward her redemption. also she was a child, and she KNEW that Eda would beat her. so in a panic, she just decided to curse her sister. but she only thought it would take away her magic for THAT day. she didnt expect Eda to leave the match, she didnt expect the curse to do *that*, basically everything that happened was out of her control from then on. and she also hesitated on getting the curse, opening the curse, and then following through with it.

and now for the analysis part, but its unnecessary stuff and mostly projection(as the oldest sibling who has been in Lilith's shoes before). so, with joining the coven, she sets forth to heal her sister's curse. and is even promised, by the Emperor, that he will aid her in this mission. when she finally has her sister, she expects Belos to cure her. and its revealed to be a lie. Belos never planned on curing Eda, or even helping her, he just wanted to basically kill her. probably to show the citizens what happens to those who aid in "wild magic". blah blah blah..

and some mannerisms from Lilith just show that she still has some of this unhealthy mindset(from the coven). whenever King is revealed as a titan, she just goes into this... "mode". shes beginning to worship him since hes a god after all. but he makes it VERY clear that she is making him uncomfortable, and that he is JUST King. himself. she bows to him, even making Hooty bow with her, she follows King around, "King deserves our praise", and she keeps emphasizing that he is a god and her "lord". she even gets annoyed with herself whenever she "takes his name in vain". later on, King points this all out and then Steve recommends a therapist to her(Steve probably went through similar things). and she doesn't even DENY any of this, she just kinda cowers in embarrassment and goes silent.

she was also like this at a young age, whenever she was a child. so, it likely just worsened whenever she joined the Emperor's Coven.

annddd, another thing i wanna note is how she "loosens" up steadily as she progresses mentally. wooo, leave your cult! she starts expressing herself more and more, allowing herself to be comfortable, doing things she enjoys, and actually being *happy*.

also whenever Eda slightly hints at leaving with her to the Emperor's Coven, Lilith used to light up and drop her whole "act" and "persona". acting like her childhood self again, just in the slightest. its a small thing to note

also whenever she's saying she "cant go back empty handed", you know what it reminds me of?

yeahhhh.. so the Emperor's coven seems to just normalize abuse(especially toward Hunter and the other golden guards but I'll get to.that in a different post). which is also likely why Steve needed a therapist after leaving. "i got what i wanted, but it wasnt what i thought it was"(or something like that)

[pidgecv]

mini thingy dump:

idk i’m just thinking abt where i’d want to take big mama and donnie’s relationship after donnie goes through his healing arc.

a big theme found in rise (and tmnt in general but especially with rise and MM) is family. i’m not the first to point it out and i won’t be the last to point it out either. i don’t want big mama to have a full on redemption arc bc i’m not that kind of girly. some people are just too stuck in their echo chambers to redeem. some people just keep reinforcing their own biases with their attitudes. an example of this with my au big mama would be her belief that humans are untrustworthy, cold, and needlessly cruel. this would alter her general disposition when interacting with humans to be less trusting, more abrasive and generally ruder, causing them to dislike and distrust her in return and so they act cold and may even be more likely to deceive her.

i don’t want to redeem her, but i want to give donnie closure. I don’t want to go all steven universe “you can make it different, you can make it right, you can make it better, we don’t have to fight” (banger song bee tee dubs), but I want her to interact with Donnie after the healing arc. During his healing arc, she thinks he’s dead. He didn’t return to the Nexus hotel after the precarious situation she left him in, and she trusts him and thinks she knows him well enough to assume that the only reason he isn’t back by now is because he is unable to come back. I want Donnie to voice his newfound frustrations to her. the whole point of the healing arc his him learning about family (especially that family relationships aren’t meant to be transactional BOOYAH). I want her to hear him out. I want him to yell at her and cry and ask her years worth of questions he was conditioned to never ask. And I want her to tell him. I want her to explain herself. I want him to know that she does care about him and love him. but I also want him to know that she’s in the wrong. I want him to take a second to step back and realize that it isn’t enough to just care ABOUT someone, you have to care FOR them as well. especially children and teenagers.

I think that I’d have Donnie confront Big Mama quite awhile after the healing arc. She’s still his mom, and he’s quite scared of what could happen if he lets her know he’s alive and then tries to leave the Nexus officially. He is canonically an overthinker. But it would eat away at him, the lack of closure. With a lot of help from the boyz he’d eventually work up the courage to talk to her and shit.

Ultimately, I want him to understand. I don’t want him to resent her. Big mama is never going understand what it means to love with no (hehe) WEBS attached. Big mama loves people who offer her something in return.

Big mama would see that Donnie is upset, but she wouldn’t understand WHY. I mean, Donnie himself only recently learned why he was upset during the healing arc.

Donnie isn’t stupid. He isn’t going to waste his energy trying to win an unwinnable fight. but he is going to make the most out of his situation. so he leaves. he tells big mama that he is leaving, that he has a place to stay and that he’s safe there. And big mama lets him. Because she loves him. Even if she doesn’t understand why he’s upset, she still doesn’t want him to be unhappy. she isn’t stupid either. She recognizes that Donnie is beyond capable. sure SHE thinks that his outburst is silly (something she would often tell him as a child whenever he got frustrated and acted like a frustrated kid), this time she realizes that it may not be silly to him. Without saying a word, she tosses him the spare key to his nexus lab and he takes that as permission to take his things and leave for good. Big mama started her journey with Donnie looking for a new battle nexus champion, and she finishes it by putting her own best interests aside because she cares about him too much to make him unhappy. Mothering Donnie changed her. Not into a good person by any means, but into someone willing to put aside her own personal interests and let go of the one she holds dearest. Despite her numerous shortcomings, this action is admirable.

Everyone involved gets their closure. Neither Donnie or Big Mama attempt to reconnect and go about their separate lives with no hatred either way. Sometimes, Donnie wishes he could hate her. On his bad days. But she was his mom, and he still holds that love for her. Big Mama is still rather soft for Donnie. They don’t actively avoid one another and sometimes Donnie’s missions cause them to run into one another. Big Mama respects his decision to remain away from her. She gives him a patented big mama wave and smile and leaves him be. Secretly, she’s quite proud of how skilled and independent he is now.

Don’t get me wrong, Big Mama isn’t happy with the situation. But she’s willing to put that aside for Donnie’s sake. That’s the result of her character development.

I’m just dumping character idea stuff. Idk if this makes sense or not but I just want them to have closure and be happy.

But also, Big Mama royally fucked up Dee. So no redemption arc for her. She still exploits literally everyone else. She still lacks some empathy fs. Like I said she doesn’t understand why or even how Donnie was feeling. She saw it as a temper-tantrum. To her, her parenting is just how the world works. She loved him, fed him, nurtured him, taught him. She recognized that Donnie was upset, and when he offered his own solution to that (getting the FUCK out) she decided to let him go. That’s it. It’s what he wanted, and that’s the extent of her understanding of the situation.

I’m talking in circles I think I’ve made the same points multiple times i just like characters

[hyunjinspark]

OKOKOKOK chapter 9 thoughts:

I’m so mad at yongbok??? like i love him but i feel like he is very much out of line. i hope he has redemption but i think that he’s definitely jealous that he never made a move before hyunjin came in the picture and you snooze you lose honestly!!

y/n baby is slowly (SLOWLY) realizing hyun’s feelings might be reciprocated i just feel so bad for her. She has these friends that keep her in a box and if she steps out, they all freak out. kind of like the situation with felix. it’s like they won’t let her be her own person, she has to be the person that fits their narrative. I feel like she’s gonna get the yeonjun treatment bc she’s becoming her own person like he did.

the phone call between hyunjin and chan!!!!! made me so happy!!!!!! he’s such a sweet boy and he’s just so in love. i was so nervous he wasn’t gonna want anything to do with her after felix kissed her but i’m so glad he still cares about her. and finding out he is literally in love with her just made this chapter so worth the wait!!!! I felt like that was gonna be his reasoning and it’s so sad BUT HES TAKING HER TO THE WINE THINGY SHE WAS TALKING AHOYT!!!!! SHES GONNA BE SO EXCITED!!!!

i loved it i will try to survive the 10 days until the next chapt. you never fail to write a good ass chapter!!!!

hi !! you are right, you snooze you lose haha. yongbok definitely hasn’t made any intentions clear and may just be taking that out on the situation and on yn :(

and you’re right, they do have this tendency for wanting her to fit the narrative they may have and not go outside the box or personality she has had all these years. its so sad for her :(

the phone call was so healing ❤️‍🩹 he is such a sweet boy and did not deserve the “villain” treatment he may have got this chapter. she will be so excited !! 😭

thank you for this sweet review <3

[originalwinnercheesecake]

First Impressions and predictions based on the coven Leaders

After a full first season their fame adorning the banners and walls, who they are being hailed, yet they themselves being kept in the shadows we now get first looks (and throughout 2a will meet) the emperors top dogs: The coven leaders. I will not lie as a group... these guys dissappoint me. Making the majority of them very human in appearance for me is a big no. Compare this group to the many colorful and fantastical creatures that are shown teaching at hexside and the hexside teachers are far more creative, unique, and fun. Maybe the artists decided to make the coven leaders look more like normal people so the audience would have an easier time understanding their expressions and body language. Maybe the more humanoid whitches are a higher class and have a easier time climbing higher than the more beast and demon like residence.? We will have to wait and see. 

Seperate this group into individuals (like how we will hopefully meet them) and most of them become far more interesting, So below lets take a look at each coven leader individually, where the artists may have taken inspriation, and what  What kind of characters they could maybe turn out to be.

The Beast keeping coven Leader: One of the only two that are not humanoids. What type of animal is he? At first I was sure he was a hedgehog, but maybe he could also be like a chipmunk or a squirrel. I get the feeling he might be partially inspired by Sonic from Sega. I was really into Sonic back in middle school. I liked the cartoons and read through the archie’s old comic series. But I kinda out grew him since then. I know from helping to take care of kids though that he is still popular with the younger generation. That’s kinda how I thin the Beast Keeping Coven leader will be: less interesting for older viewers, but a real fun charcter for kids.

The Healing coven leader: Now this guy looks like fun villain all around. Is some kind of witch docotor? a Dark Priest? The size the purple Grin, he looks like the phantom boss from those horror films where you get trapped in nightmares. Tell me he has scary theme song music and talks in a very high pitched voice. I’ve heard some people wonder if he could be Selena (oracle girl from hexside)’s dad. I don’t thinks so, the macaroni crescent shape n his head looks more like a fancy cowl than part of his actual head. Also him having a daughter in Luz’s class could be used as a reason for him to change sides, I want this guy to stay as a villian/antagonist. We all know that with this size group some will stay with the emperor and some will defect to Luz’s side (possibility a couple will die, we haven’t seen yet just how dark Dana is willing to go). Personally my view with redemption arcs and if a character “deserves them” is it depends on what it will do for the story/character afterwards? IF redeeming them opens more doors for the characters and directions the story can take, do it. IF it closes doors leave them as they are. I absolutely hate when clever and well written bad guys get “redeemed” in to boring, plot useless, weebs. The only reason I could see having this guy change sides is for him to “cure” Eda and Lilith’s curse, and I would much rather see the two of them gain control over their forms than be “cured” of them.

The Illusion coven leader: Another fun looking antagonist. My third favorite of these nine. If the healer guy is horror movie based. This guy is Disney based all around. Looks like one of those Vegas suave showmen styled character. Love it. I guarantee you he does not actually look that young or slicked back, but is using illusion magic to make himself more pretty. Not sure if he will stay with the emperor or not. Illusion is Gus’s track and I could see Dana having the leaders of Luz’s friends tracks be the ones to stand by them. If so I am fine with that (in the case of the abomination leader I will beg for it). Gaining the respect of someone as high up as a coven leader could be really great for Gus’s character. Just as long as I get plenty of laughs from Gus and this guy both along the way.

The Potion coven leader: My second favorite and in my opinion the most creative idea of the whole bunch. A mosquito that works in potions! Does he suck them up with his nose and carry them in.. whatever it is mosquitos store blood in. Also he looks angry. Like everyone else is either amused or board. This guy is fed up and ready to do something about it. Not sure if it is the Emperor, the other leaders, or the owl gang he is mad at, but it should be a worthwhile show down.

The Abomination coven leader: Yes this is my favorite design. Yes it is because he is such a beautiful man. Would never have expected someone who creates mucks (the pokemon) with legs would be so fine. Its more than that though. He looks the most kind. Their is no malice or guise in his smile and his green eyes are bright and relaxed. I wondered what the purpose of the Abomination track was and why it had “more opportunity” all last season. Well slight spoilers if you haven’t seen episode 2x02 it is the industrialist field. When you learn about Industrialization usually the idea is that it is done to help the human race reach its full potential, and it is up to each individual to decide what to do with that potential. Whether you call that the passion of a creative mind or the carelessness of a fool would also be up to you. But I really don’t want this guy to be all bad. If for no other reason that more spoilers for episode 2 * with the interest/caution the emperor is showing the blights I expect this guy to show up to their house, probably meet Amity, and we really do not need another not so nice adult in her life. She has had enough.

The Oracle coven leader: What is this? He’s got nails/caws at the ends of dread thingys like Kikimore, so is this her father? Does he have anything to do with her being in the Emporor’s coven? But this is my least favorite. Like what was the inspiration behind this guy? With so many legendary oracles in mythology and we get this guy who mostly looks saggy, washed out, tierd, and just Blah. Hope thier is more to him, but here is one who I am not holding my breath for an episode on.

The Plant coven leader: based on her banner I was expecting something like the Swamp Giant from ALTA. Instead they went in the direction of a very traditional witch desgine: An old women with a wrinkled face and really messy hair, who probably lives alone in the woods, with maybe the exception of a cat, and dances around a fire at night. Okay. She is definitely going to become an ally of the owl gang. This is the only female of the group,and it is neither in Dana’s message nor would it be popular with her target audience to make a villain or even an antagonist out of a women who managed to climb the later into a male dominated success level. I am actually looking forward to seeing her, because it will probably be in a Willow based episode, and after 2x02 (which I personally feel should not have been a luminaty episode but rather a Willow and Amity one finishing up their reconciliation arc), Willow deserves an episode with potential centered around her. An episode where she goes against the Plant track Leader would be that. This witches Grin isn’t exactly friendly, but its more mischievous than wicked. She gives off vibes as one of those people who like to test the mains, and if you pass her tests than you earn her respect. I have no doubt Willow could win at her little games, and doing so would be a huge boost the confidence she has spent the show building.

The Construction coven leader: Oh joy here’s the other one I am unimpressed with. Unlike with the Oracle guy I know where they got his design. To everyone saying that we first saw him at the convention, your not backing far enough up. If you have ever seen any cartoon ever where the main character wanders past or onto a construction sight you have seen this man. Every trio of workers sitting on a iron frame eating from a lunchbox. Every pig that makes a catcall at a disgusted women. Every exhausted worker who watches as your slapstick mains chase each other past at quitting time... they all looked EXACTLY like this guy. This is really the character leading the track Dana herself has said she would pick to join? They could have done a Golem made of brick an stone that resembles a palace. They could have done some kind of humanoid ant with super strength. They could have done a wizard with shapes and mathematics on his robe who carried a scroll everywhere that he compulsively scribbled blueprints onto. But instead we get Mr. Generic here.

The Bard coven Leader: This is R, Eda’s old friend from her hexside days. Did I save R for last because of this connection? Partially. I am also unsure what R’s pronouns are. To me R looks physically male. I have seen other posters use “she” when posting about R. One person posted that Dana had confirmed R uses “they” and if so awesome, I would really like to see that tweet. What ever R’s pronouns though their appearance in the show will be tied with Eda, er past, and what she had to give up in order to live free. I look forward to this new insight onto her character

[sokkagatekeeper]

also azula for the ask game!

first impression: who is this girlboss. you are annoying. get out of my screen

impression now: girls who do crime <3 girls who organize coups <3 girls who manipulate murder monarch <3 girls who like girls <3 a very complex character misunderstood by literally the entire fandom with a very deep emotional wound. the perfect example to what being the golden child in an abusive environment does to a person. a babey who needs a big brother hug and a nap and a dismantling of the patriarchy

favorite moment: i’m going to cheat with this one and say the entire episode of “the beach” because it tells so much about azula’s motivations & reveals her core wound, while also diving into her psychology and respective dynamics with zuko mai and ty lee which i found are the most interesting part of her character to me. perfect set-up to her downfall. i also like it when she uses her fucking hairpiece to cling onto a wall and avoid falling to her death. that was some girlbossing

idea for a story: apart from the fact that i would like to read a story of azula’s recovering and all that it entails that doesn’t demonize other characters (other than ozai bc ozai is an actual demon in fact) and treats them all with the respect they deserve, i enjoy the idea of zuko maybe taking her to visit the dragons. idk if it makes for a story but it is something i would like to write at some point.*

unpopular opinion: sigh i’m just gonna drop all of them in one go. azula is not a feminist icon and she perpetuates the fire nation’s patriarchal values with every step she takes. she did not abuse zuko but maintained an unbalanced power dynamic with mai and ty lee. she did things to hurt people on purpose and demonizing and/or dismissing the narrative importance of other characters (cough zuko cough aang cough mai cough ty lee cou-) to uplift azula does an extreme disservice to her character. saying azula “deserved” a redemption is massively missing the point of her character. what azula deserved, like a character of her caliber, was a solid arc, and she got it. azula as a fourteen-year-old deserves a recovery process that doesn’t involve straightjackets, stable relationships with her non-abusive family, and maybe a haircut.

favorite relationship: canonically speaking, while i find the back-and-forth manipulation situation between her and ty lee very interesting & worth analyzing, the dynamic azula has with zuko is very personal to me and i maintain to this day that azula loves zuko with her entire heart and at one point in her life zuko was the only person who truly loved azula as she was. siblingerie <333

favorite headcanon: azula cutting her hair during her years in recovery is a very dear headcanon of mine because i think it fits the symbolism of her relationship with her hair and her self-sabotaging perfectionism being always connected somehow. letting go of a weight you don’t need anymore, and all the healing it brings you and all that.

ask game here.

*SWLF PROMO!!! for a taste of my own take on azula-centric stuff you can check this thingy i wrote on ao3 or tumblr bc the posting of this piece was a poorly calculated move on my part. it’s pretty short and i wrote it on discord but it’s made with love <3

[616hakoda]

Okay, i read your Azula redemption thingy and now I'm in tears imagining Azula visiting the Southern Water tribe and theres snow, and ice and some really cute animals and Azula has never seen northern lights and she's absolutely mesmerized. Kiyi comes and sits with her (all three siblings are there and Iroh is acting Fire Lord at the moment) and the two are just watching the sky and Azula feels at peace. Then there's Bakoda watching them as Zuko joins his sisters because they deserve happiness dang it! (Can i send more of these?)

Azula visiting the southern water tribe is now incredibly important to me. Hakoda enjoys hers and Zuko's visits so much hehe and Bato gets time to talk with Zuko about his progress healing his wounds !! Please do send more of these I am actually now fully on the azula redemption arc train:) I jus

[gelatoromantorchwickneopolitan]

Okay, Roman’s on the island. How do you want things to play out?

Arrrrrgh, I've been constantly thinking about this during the last two days, but still hasn’t been able to come up with a coherent plot! (Actually 99% of the things I come up with start with Roman discovering RWBY+J there and starting make fun of them in the meanest way possible like a bastard he is) Surely, I want Neo somehow to be the first one who discovers Roman is there even before she stumbles upon other 5 people stuck on the island, because I think if she encounters someone from RWBY+J first that would lead to the meaningless fight. I want to see their REACTIONS - both Neo’s and Roman’s - after seeing each other again! Maybe disbelieve and confusion overcomes them at first... but I ALSO WANT THEM TO FEEL THE WAVE OF INSANE HAPPINESS WASHING THEIR HEARTS ONCE THEY MAKE EYE CONTACT! I want to see Neo STARTING CRYING WHEN SHE REALIZES SHE CAN’T HUG HIM CAUSE HE’S NOT FLESHY ANYMORE ( (╥﹏╥) I want them to reminiscence about what they went through in the past (maybe... with flashbacks... pleeeease... okay, I think we’ll never get flashbacks of them being together-together but no one can forbid me dreaming). I want them to talk about everything that happened during the Fall of Beacon! I want Roman to tell her about how he really died, tell her that Griffon ate him cause he was stupid enough to stay outside the ship in the area full of Grimm overcome with grief and anger trying to cane Ruby to death cause he thought Ruby killed Neo by sending her in the flight through the sky crawling with monsters!!! I want Neo to tell him about what she did after his death, about her revenge quest, targeting Cinder, then teaming up with her and trying to target Ruby, and also snivel to him about how unfairly Cinder treated her (like... there were moments when she looked genuinely hurt... Idk did she really expect Roman-like kind of behaviour from Cinder or what that meant, but she certainly needs a shoulder to cry on about this). I want Neo with the help of Roman to finally realize that all this time she has been of the path to self-destruction, and if she proceeded she’d certainly waste her live in vain (heck, this is exactly the reason why Roman got himself killed in the first place). Roman surely doesn’t want Neo to get involved with Salem and her doomsday cult anymore - including fighting against her. He’ll probably beg her to stay behind all this shit that’s going on in the world. (Though... is there is a place on Remnant truly safe from Salem). He’ll earnestly ask her to move on from his death and start a new life despite how painful this process is. To finally dissociate her sense of self from him. To find out who she is without him, because before she was limiting herself in a lot of aspects just to stay with him (and after his death we’ve seen she’s much more capable and skillful in a tremendous amounts of things than Roman was). “This is just a part of you... don’t forget about the rest.” Sure, there were only two of them against the world before, but now things changed, and she’ll need to create her own life without him step by step. And Roman would wish her to live a long life making crimes on the run. “Don't be afraid! Get up, get going, A step everyday, I'll meet you there” Maybe he’d advice her to try to establish meaningful relationships with other people in future to heal from emotional trauma (platonic I mean. I can’t imagine her getting once more in the romantic relationship ever. especially with someone from the cast. and ESPECIALLY with someone of main characters age - from the first moment I saw her I knew she’s much older then they are. besides, that soulmate thingy really owns my brain.) And Roman’d assure Neo that in the end of her life path he would be waiting for her here... in the afterlife... (Fuck. I’m crying. I’m gonna get up and make a break.)

Okay, I’ve returned. How would this affect her interactions with Ruby and co? I don’t think that we’ll see Neo’s redemption arc in the upcoming short volume. They can’t still be arch enemies since they’ll need to cooperate somehow in that place to find the way out (and maybe there is some danger there, the gods don’t seem to be super cool and kind guys to leave people in a totally safe place after death lol), but I don’t anticipate them to become best friends and go fight Salem and Cinder together. I always viewed Roman and Neo’s nature as exclusively self-serving (with the only exception they made is for each other). That’s why I can’t see Ruby and co talking her in their team as a fellow illusionist aside Emerald. I can see Neo joining their team only to spoil Cinder’s life - but that would mean she learned nothing from conversation with Roman, and that’s not what I want. Well, maybe, CRWBY has some brilliant plan for executing her redemption and incorporating her in the plot of Volume 10 and all the upcoming volumes (they never cease to amaze be), but at least for now I highly doubt that would happen. Neo was a last minute addition to the Atlas arc, and I was pleasantly surprised to see animation making sucha  big focus on Neo’s emotional reactions in this volume. That means we can fairly suspect her moving in a phase of self-discovery in Volume 9. But I also have a feeling that we are getting near to the end of her story in the show. 

But... Neo and RWBY+J just parting ways after getting out of that place? Sounds more likely to me that her joining the forces of good. But sounds very dumb from the point of narration, yeah... So, we’re coming to the other idea - Neo staying in the Underworld with Roman while someone who was already dead (for example, Pyrrha) comes back to Remnant. I’ve already discussed this topic with @queeniebedeart and admitted how pointless that would make all progress in the character development she might make while talking with Roman and would reverse the important gains on the front of reconstructing the self-identity. Queenie suggested her view on how CRWBY can combine the plot of Neo developing the sense of self and the plot of Neo staying in the realm of the dead with Roman to help RWBY+J. Well... if they really find a way to merge all of this together without ruining already pre-established in the show idea of the importance of moving on after the death of the loved ones... I would be HAPPY to no end, cause my brain just can’t get rid of the mental image of Neo and Roman waving from the beach to the heroes who are returning back to Remnant. 

Honestly, I want only one thing: Neo reuniting with the real Roman’s soul. Not some kind of illusion or mind trickery which makes everyone see what they desire to see (Roman in Neo’s case). Pleeeeeaaase, nooooooo, my heart won’t take it if that actually happens. ╥ω╥

Gelato reunion. Even for a couple of minutes. That's all I'm asking for.

[tansypaws]

clown jingling into ur inbox...

wolfjaw with ✨ and russetfox with 🌈? 🤩

wolfjaw

✨ pls tell me im not pulling this out of my ass but iirc my first interaction w wolfjaw was when beetlenose was summoned to heal him?????? right?????? anyway first opinions was kind husband man <3 russetfox

🌈 bad things only i would like to see russetfox also get to take a nice nap. obv we had some closure with the whole vigil thingy, but i'd like to see her make some peace with the whole situation and have some sort of like...idk, real, tangible opportunity for redemption there? idk that she like actually...wants that but i would like to see it.

[nethersonq]

*heavy breathing*

i made oc backstory

WARNING: possible triggers ahead

 if i need to tag anything else, let me know

ok so like 

onto nether's backstory 

so there's a laboratory called D.R.E.A.M.S (duh) and they experiment on animals 

the experiments all have a class and experiment number  the main classes are Lepidopterous (butterflies, moths n shit), Avial (birbs), Serpentile (originally just snakes but then some dumbass filed the lynx dinosaur thing they made into this class so now it's just anything remotely reptilian), Mantidera (weird species thing they ended up creating, there used to be a few of them but they all died/were murdered so now there's just one, basically cats with 6 arms that have things that shouldn't be on arms on their arms, one had a whole ass buzzsaw on one of their limbs) and Mammalia (mammals, duh) then there's the experiment number which basically kinda shows the order the experiment was made in  for example, S-018 = Serpentile class + 18th experiment of that class 

and then there's a BONUS class, called the Apex class these hoes are basically all the human experiments, and have an extra A added onto their serial number thingy for example, AS-056 = Serpentile + Apex + 56th apex experiment of that class the thing with the Mantidera class is instead of being classed like default, theirs is M2-experiment number  it's not really a problem bc there's only one left bc the others are dead, M2-124 AKA Nightmarie

there's an apex of almost every class, the ones that i actually bothered with were Zoe (AS-056, frilled lizard that spits acid for some reason, there's probably dilophosaurus dna in there), Becka (AM-183, four-eared rabbit-kangaroo thing), Lunai (AL-025b, there used to be a 025a but they died, she's a spanish moon moth lady), Kuroageha (AL-001, black swallowtail butterfly, she has a butterfly mouth even in her human form for some reason but then again she's 001, mistakes were bound to be made) and Willow (AA-045, four-eyed, six-winged falcon)

now you might be wondering, where the fuck is nether in this story? well the scientists eventually tried to make another Mammalia-class Apex, so they tried to make the most literal definition of a catgirl nether was made the cat dna mutated so now she has ✨ PYROGLANDS ✨   which basically produce an extremely flammable oil, she's basically resistant to high temperatures and fire in general (duh), and she has flint-like fur on the back of her neck that set that shit on fire bc of the whole "i can set myself on fucking fire" thing, they decided to make a new class, specifically for her AND GUESS WHAT THEY CHOSE- they went through the entire Latin dictionary and chose firestarter

so now Nether is AF-001 bc she's the first Firestarter Apex

Zoe, the lizard kid from before, decides that she's done with D.R.E.A.M.S's shit so she's gonna escape word spreads like the plague among the experiments, so they all collectively decide "fuck this shit we're out" so they all manage to escape, including Nether

OH AND I FORGOT there's another Apex, called Avery, she's the only human experiment without any animal dna, that bitch is literally Goretober personified, basically she can do almost everything with her own flesh, such as grow eyes where there shouldn't be eyes, flip her ribcage open, seemingly magically heal wounds, grow false wings that she can retract later, etc so they call her AX-001 anyway she escapes with the rest of them, D.R.E.A.M.S gets pissed and hires a bounty hunter named Mitchell to bring them back Mitchell almost captures all of the experiments that escaped, but then he gets fucked over by Avery bc Avery's a sadistic bitch

D.R.E.A.M.S realises that to catch them, they'd need ANOTHER experiment they decide to make another version of Nether bc Nether's supposedly the most powerful but also bc Avery can change her genetic signature so they would literally never be able to make another Avery so they successfully make another Firestarter Apex, this one's just called 002 bc i got lazy and i didn't know what to name them they manage to sort of mind control 002 using some sort of gas supplied to them via some sort of face mask thing, i'm not really sure, plus a shock collar with drugs or smth for if they manage to somehow shake off the mind control 

so they send 002 off to go find the other experiments they do find the others, but someone decided "y'know, fuck it, let's just kill these hoes or smth" so they give those orders to 002

yeah 002's doing fiiine/s 

they get into a fight with Nether, she manages to knock the damn face mask off, which sets off the shock collar so she destroys the shock collar too, bc we need to help 002 ffs

D.R.E.A.M.S just gives up at this point and 002 gets a redemption arc hoorayyyy  Kuro and Lunai are also together now bc yes

the thing i didn't exactly mention earlier is that the Apexes can all turn into their respective animal thing Nether hasn't learned how to do it properly yet, and can only go about 3 quarters of the way 002 can go all the way however, despite being made AFTER Nether so Nether constantly pesters 002 like "TEACH ME YOUR WAYS, MOTHERFUCKER" 

also somehow 002 is older than Nether, i'm keeping it that way

summary of them now, Nether annoys 002, who's basically like that one friend who can and will throw hands with everyone and win, Zoe's the tired mom, Willow and Becka exist, Lunai and Kuro are off making out to the side and Avery continues to cause problems 

that's it i'm finally done rambling

[mittensmorgul]

Thoughts on Rowen's actual fate? Sucking up all those souls and plummeting to hell sets her up to take the reigns down there, ya know? Is there hope? Or is she truly dead? (in episode THREE?? Really??)

Hi there! I’m gonna start by throwing out quotes. First, from 14.18:

Rowena: Where's the body, Jack? -Jack: We can do this. That's -- You will make it work!Rowena: It won't. Can't.Jack: Then I'll do it myself.Rowena: You're in no condition. Jack, a cardinal rule of magic -- disposition affects execution and you are spinning! Whatever you bring back, it won't be her.Jack:Then help me!Rowena: I won't.

She wasn’t able to bring back Mary, but she believes in the rules of magic, how it works, how everything from “disposition” to execution of the spell will affect the outcome. This... is important. Because it set up the entire reason for why she believed her spell would work in 15.03. Because that entire spell was founded not on her killing herself FOR something, but just knowing that her belief in the prophecy WOULD work, would carry out the magic that she otherwise believed would have no power against all the spirits of Hell. She’d walked into the graveyard so powerfully convinced that her “gossamer to concrete” spell would work, but it hit her back just as hard. In carrying out that spell, she was attacked directly in a way by those ghosts. Her belief and disposition didn’t give her the power to do it alone.

Her second spell was founded on the belief that Belphegor’s horn thingy would drag all the ghosts back into Hell, and then she’d be able to heal the wound with Sam’s help, with Dean at the edge of the rift ready to toss the symbol of her magic into the pit. It failed because Cas saw through the scam Belphegor was trying to pull and stopped him. So the thing her belief was founded on faltered.

So the entirety of her third spell was founded in the one thing she’d already staked not only HER life on several times, but the lives of the people she claims she doesn’t care enough about to power the spell. Her belief in the prophecy that only Sam Winchester could kill her had given her more power than all the magic in the world could’ve. She’d faced her fear of Lucifer that had paralyzed her with terror for two years, looked Michael in the face and told him to make a better offer because she wasn’t scared that he could kill her. And she KNEW after 13.19 that Sam wouldn’t kill her without her having earned death, so she didn’t have any real fear of SAM. But she did stake an awful lot of her own personal peace of mind on the fact that the prophecy was real and true and unbreakable.

Which... is fascinating in light of the fact that WE KNOW THOSE BOOKS CAN CHANGE. We know this because it was a major plot point of 14.10, and Billie telling Dean that all of his books but one had changed to say that Michael would use him as a vessel to destroy the world. ALL OF THEM said that (effectively, since the one that didn’t... even the prophecy IT foretold never came to pass...) So... NONE of Dean’s prophesied deaths had been correct.

And Rowena knew this, and STILL believed with all her being in this prophecy being true. Because she HAD to, because it was what gave her the power to live without fear.

Which brings us to 15.03:

Rowena: I don't care about anything enough to take my own life. Not you, your brother -- not even the world. But I believe in prophecy. I believe in magic. And I'm here and you're here and everything we need to end this right is in our hands. I know this in my bones -- it has to be this way. Do it! Kill me, Samuel! I know we've gotten quite fond of each other, haven't we? But will you let the world die, let your brother die, just so I can live?

It’s not that she didn’t want to save the world, or that she didn’t want to save Sam and Dean, or that she doesn’t care about Sam... it’s that for the spell to work, she has to base it on an unshakable belief. And in that moment, it was the prophecy she’d built her life on since 13.19.

Sam would be the one to kill her, for her real, final, permanent death.

Which... is wild, since everything since 14.20 has somehow been about free will, and the essence of prophesy in general being... “Writers Lie.”

So... how will this potentially alter what has happened? Obviously her spell worked, because the rift closed. But I believe this is only a temporary fix for their larger problems. Their larger problems being “Chuck is still writing their story. Only now he’s about to get really nasty about it.”

If this is actually the end of Rowena’s story... it doesn’t really fit with the larger narrative, and isn’t a true redemption, you know? Yes she chose it, but her reasons for choosing it were suspect at best, and likely to be proven entirely faulty at worst. Where’s Billie when we need answers to these sorts of existential questions?

And the reason she even had to do the spell in the first place still came down to “We had no other choice.” Which is Chuck’s kind of storytelling. There’s so much I’m suspicious of in canon right now, wondering how much of this current fiasco is directly due to Chuck’s manipulation, you know? Why did the initial spell she used fail-- and fail in such a way that broke her belief in their chances at success here at all-- when she’d been 100% confident in its success before? It’s... Chuck-tropey, and like I was suspicious of Belphegor from the jump, I’m suspicious of Rowena’s death now.

I would honestly not be thrilled at Rowena becoming Queen of Hell. I think that still is pushing her into a role she may have coveted at one point a long time ago, but that I think she’d grown bored with long before Crowley died, and that after her experiences of the last few years, isn’t even something she’s seeking out for herself anymore, you know? She hasn’t looked for a coven, she hasn’t been attempting to amass power or seek shelter in wealthy men, or whatever else. She’d been living her life.

Do I think she’s dead-dead? I have serious doubts about that.

I mean, everyone’s basically said about Ketch that he’s gone goodbye not coming back, but... he had one of Rowena’s charms, and we know how effective they can be. Having one’s heart ripped out doesn’t seem to be enough to stop the thing from resurrecting someone.

So I’m also at a point where I’m not writing off anyone’s death as what it looked like yet.

But Rowena? If she was still holding on to that prophecy as the basis for her entire life up to that point? I think she’s going to learn that prophecies can be misleading... 

[friedwizardwhispers]

i watched Rise of the Skywalkers in theater today and this is the only post i’m going to make about it.

If you don’t want to read a bad review about it, don’t read this. This is just my opinion, you are valid if you liked it,I just needed to rant a bit.

Spoilers under the cut:

Here is a bit of context, I disliked strongly The Last Jedi so I had zero expectations with the Rise of the Skywalkers. To the point where I didn’t watch any trailers for it. And coming from me, that’s a huge step-back. I’m big star wars fan. 

How i feel about this movie you ask ? 

The good:

Finn and Poe’s bromance. The opening scene, Lando and Chewie not being dead at the end of this film..Lando.

Finn is force-sensitive and this is the best !!!!!!

The bad:

Palpatine...

I can’t believe I’m putting him in the bad section because he was a damn good villain in the two other trilogies but he is so random here ? how did he survive Return of the Jedi ? We don’t know... 

Why is he suddenly the villain of the last trilogy when he wasn’t even mentioned in the Force awaken or the Last Jedi ? we don’t know...

What’s up with the Sith army ? Where does it come from ?We don’t know....Wait I thought the rule of the sith were the rule of two ? an apprentice and a master ? Confusion confusion.

Can we also talk about OOC he was when he wanted Rey to take his place as The Empress ? Because he was dead serious there, he was not taunting her like he did for Luke in ROTJ before he discovered the dryad (whatever that is), he absolutely wanted her in the throne. Palpatine wanted someone else to have his power ? Are we talking about the same person who was in the prequel and the originals ? for what reason ? it’s not that he cares for his “family” since he killed his son and daughter in law.

Also can we acknowledge that it was incredibly direspectful to both the originals and the prequel That Luke and Anakin/Vader didn’t actually kill him ? You have 6 films about how the guy destroyed the Skywalker family, especially Luke and Anakin and it has an ending in ROTJ that is absolutely satisfying and then, turn out he is NOT dead and after 6 films of build-up it’s someone who is not a Skywalker who kills him, someone who has zero build up in her trilogy to do so.

Thanks...I hate it.

Rey/Kylo (Ben?)

Let’s talk about Rey (and the other guy). I like Rey as character. have a few issues but in general, she is okay.

but why is she kissing the guy who absolutely tortured her in the force awaken ? 

Like, I know the redemption was coming but still...NO, this feel gross..

Also, can someone explain to me why I really dislike this redemption arc while loving Vader’s ? Thanks, I hate it.

Also, Rey decided she was a Skywalker...Thanks, I hate it.

The force and the dryad (or THIS IS NOT HOW THE FORCE WORK)

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEE x100000000000

THE FORCE CANNOT HEAL INSTANTLY OR BRING SOMEONE BACK TO LIFE !!! No matter what the dryiad whatever thing. It can’t. The force do have healing trance but it take longer and it leaves scars.

You want to know why I’m so pissed about this ? Because of the prequel and the Fall of Anakin Skywalker, He fell because, in his mind, his wife (and children) was dying and there were no way to stop it. If he knew that technique, he wouldn’t have fallen to the dark side, he would just be like, if I’m gonna give my life for Padme and that’s it and you can argue that there is this dryad thingy that I don’t understand (and that is never explained btw) on how they are both super powerful together or whatever that is...And I would grant you the point if it was anybody BUT Anakin. He is literally the Chosen one, He came from the force itself.He could control the DAUGHTER AND THE SON !!!

The death of all the members of the original trio:

Me about this film in general:

[kevindayscrown]

OMG Rowaelin!!!1!

Great, now that I got your attention. You will all sit her with me and read about why Chaol Westfall is the best character in the entire Throne of Glass books. Yeah you heard me right Chaol haters. This is your last chance to run away because this bitch will take things chronologically, starting with Throne of Glass.

We are introduced from the second page to Chaol Westfall, Captain of the Royal Guard. He is serious, fearsome (and yet Celeana doesn't forget to mention that he is handsome) and at first we don't get to get much insight to his personality. But then we learn that he may not be sassy like Celeana or fun loving like Dorian, but he is righteous and loyal, a bit mysterious and stoic. He might be more focused on his loyalty to the King but he is also passionate and he learns to love. He starts to care about Celeana even if he was hesitant about her. Why he was hesitant? Because being a murderer is a bad thing. Yes folks sorry to burst your bubble. Don't hate on a character because he has certain beliefs and doesn't find murder to be acceptable. And yet he still can't fight his feelings. The get up scene? Iconic. Everyone forgets that it started with Chaol. And then he killed Cain (remember that guy?) despite those said beliefs. And then he suffered from PTSD for that. Why? Because it's not easy to cross your boundaries even if you had the best of reasons.

Crown of Midnight. Oh boy. Chaol starts accepting his feelings for Celeana while at the same time he is in a constant inner battle. He pushes his limits, tries to change for her, he is conflicted between his loyalty to the King and Celeana because he is in love with her. And then the Nehemia plot thingy happens. And that inner conflict gets multipled by ten. He can't bring himself to 100% betray his loyalty to the King. Remember that the guards are the only family he has ever known (since his father was an ass and his mother or brother never did anything about it) and the palace is his home. You expect him to fight that so easily? So he finds a middle ground and tries to take matters into his own hands. But he gets kidnapped. Again, what a great experience for someone to go through. And why he gets kidnapped even though be is a VERY skilled swordsman and fighter? Because he was thinking of having life and kids with Celeana. Because he loves her so much. BUT I don't blame Celeana for her reaction. Everyone reacts differently to different situations depending on different factors. And that's when self loathing starts rooting for Chaol. He hates himself and yet he still LOVES CELEANA. He is willing to wait for her and he sacrifices himself to his asshole of a father because he things she will be safer with her people. (DESPITE him not accepting magic yet even when it comes to Dorian. Which again makes sense and it's realistic since he was raised in a certain way and hasn't had yet someone to show him that magic can be good. So please UNDERSTAND that his reaction to magic makes sense. Same goes for the Archer Finn murder thing. Thanks).

Heir of Fire. Chaol fucking Westfall finds a way on his own to free magic again despite his doubts against it. He is an asshole to Dorian and yes it's not acceptable. But everything he has come to known has been turned upside down and he doesn't know how to handle it. That's why he is also RELATABLE. How many times has this happened to us, normal people? Thousands of times. And no need to mention the end of HoF. He couldnt save his brother, he was helpless because he is a mere human. And he has to leave because someone had to survive this. And the self loathing INCREASES. But he still tells him he loves him and doesn't regret it even if he doesn't hear it back.

Queen of Shadows. Chaol is fucking depressed, desperate, self esteem basically non existent and alone (except Nesryn). And yet he still fights, he loves forward and gathers allies, rebels, saves people or at least he tries. All that for his people and most importantly his brother. So wouldn't you be annoyed if someone threatened all you've built, no matter how big that is? Aelin threatened his people, his town and his god damn friend. Yes, he shouldn't have called her a monster but Aelin was as much of a bitch to him. She interferes with all he has achieved. And she doubts his abilities. And all that for what? To get paralyzed. He sacrifices himself and gets paralyzed. And then he refuses to leave even if it's his only chance of walking again because he doesn't want to leave Dorian behind again. Fucking loyalty? Yes. Do you know what it means to get paralyzed? Some of you might have the idea. For those who don't, it's an awful experience. You start feeling as if you are useless and you can't do things you previously could. It's even almost impossible to go to the bathroom alone. So all the jokes about paralyzed Chaol (yes they exist) are disgusting. Also do I need to mention that he finally learned to accept magic. Another aspect of the development of his character. Plus he and Aelin forgive each other. Can't you do the same?

Empire of Storms. Yeah he isn't in there. Moving on.

Tower of Dawn. Yes he deserved that book. Because it's now his chance to heal both physically and emotionally. No, it's not a redemption book. It's a book about healing that Chaol fucking deserved. Why? Because he was self loathing, insecure and in a way, suicidal. He wished Aelin had actually killed him. So no, he is not Tamlin to need to be redeemed. He is Chaol Westfall, and he is a human with real problems. Their causes might be a product of fantasy but they are still real. They are relatable and they make him a well written character. I may have not liked some things in ToD but I won't focus on that.

Only thing I have to say about Kingdom of Ash is that we get to see his Captain self again (He LEADS THE BATTLE OF ANIELLE. NUF SAID). Wont focus on the relationships, Chaorene, baby and the reunions because there is no point I want to make through them.

All in all, Chaol Westfall is the only character that got real development (whoever tells me Rowan got that too just because he turned from Aelin's hater to Aelin's puppy, well I am sorry for you). He combines realism and heroism and he is relatable. He has real flaws and he has done reasonable mistakes. That is why he is the best character in the Throne of Glass series.

PS. He is a main character and one of the most important ones. He is also hot AF.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[tompen94]

Ranting about Kingdom Hearts III (cuz I just finished it, SPOILERS AHOY)

Follow-up post to: https://tompen94.tumblr.com/post/181689323487/ranting-about-kingdom-hearts-cuz-i-just-got-into

Okay... Uhhh... So that was... a lot to process...

I have finished KH3 with all of the chests and Lucky Emblems found. I tried my hardest not to just rush through the story, but I am not gonna pretend like I know shit as I am a pretty casual gamer. This is just an aggregate of my thoughts on the game.

If you want a review here it is: GET THE FUCKING GAME RN

I won’t be holding back any information. This is your official spoiler warning.

Spoilers below the cut (if it even works).

Gameplay

As I said in my KH Rant post (click the link goddammit), this was my first experience with the gameplay of the series.

It took some getting used to, my muscle memory kept telling me that X was to jump so I got stuff wrong in the beginning but I got the gist of it towards the end. Didn’t use as much magic as I wanted though, using the d-pad means not using the analog stick, which means remaining still in the middle of a fight while I decide which magic to use and, in the case of Cure, who to use it on. (Yes I’m aware of shortcuts and I used them but I still have to use the d-pad to change which set I’m using)

However, I liked the combat system in general. I’m sure it is something that comes with time and my issues with it can be honed out with more practice.

Wasn’t too hot on flowmotion though, at least in the beginning when you don’t have abilities like Air Slide. Using flowmotion in battle was pretty hard for me to do at first because of this. I had heard of how OP it was in DDD and I tried to use it a bunch in Thebes but because of my low success in even activating the thing properly, I stopped using it until I got to the Ice Labyrinth in Arendele. I started using it moderately after that.

The Lock-on laser thingy was something I thought I was going to use a lot since I had seen it being used pretty often in gameplay of the other KH games. However I barely used it. But it was pretty satisfying locking every beam onto a single target and then one-shot them with it.

Finally the situation commands. Loved them. My most used button other than X is the Triangle. Always use situation commands. It’s always a benefit. (Also Rage Form heals you and gives you super fast combos. Fucking neat!)

Favorite things and stuff

Favorite playable keyblade: Kingdom Key

Call me basic or whatever. The Kingdom Key was my main Keyblade and I barely swapped it out throughout the game. It is by far the weakest keyblade, I know. But I just like it so damn much, I kept it as my main. So yes, you can finish the game just with the Kingdom Key. If you don’t mind farming Adamantite and Electrum to upgrade it to the max, that is. I was planning to swap it out for ‘Dawn till Dusk’ but that was before I found out it was an Amazon pre-order exclusive (LAAAAAME!!!!).

Favorite keyblade in the series: Way to the Dawn

I like Riku’s new keyblade but Way to the Dawn looks so goddamn cool. Its look also tells a story, it’s an imprint of Riku’s character arc throughout the series. It’s a bit of a shame that they had him change it.

Favorite Worlds: Corona & The Caribbean

Corona is stupid pretty. And a fun world to explore and jump around in. I love how they recreated certain environments just for the scene of Rapunzel being at war with herself. You can actually go to those places! Also the Kingdom itself is just beautiful. Corona is the place I took most selfies on. Also:

(I will protect this smile with my life)

The Caribbean is basically its own game. Most worlds have one fun addition to the combat or the level design, like the Gigas in Toy Box, or even Rapunzel’s hair during the story portion of Corona. However the Caribbean gives you a ship and a whole new set of mechanics with it. It’s also a massive world, 56 goddamn chests to find. It feels so satisfying to sail to an island, get to the very end of it and find a butload of chests to open. Also Sora looks cool as fuck in his pirate costume.

Most disappointing worlds: Arendele & San Fransokyo

I wish it wasn’t so but Arendele wasn’t as much as I expected it to be. Don’t get me wrong, that ‘Let it go’ sequence is fucking phenomenal and I fanboyed out on it a lot, but the world itself isn’t all that interesting to me. You don’t even get to visit the Kingdom, just the mountain. And after you finish the story, the game teases you with Elsa’s Ice Castle, but guess what, you ain’t entering it either. Instead of the Ice Labirynth, I would much rather have had a level inside Elsa’s castle.

As for San Fransokyo, Why can’t I freely go to the bridge? Why is it locked to that one combat scene and then never seen again? And the city itself is confusing to traverse in. Even with the map I frequently lost track of where I was. The streets are also too wide, the only way to go through them quickly is if you’re a boss at using the Lock-on+Square thing, but I suck at it, so I’m just spamming dodge-roll to get through it a little faster than running. If the streets were narrower, it would be different, because then I could use flowmotion off of the walls and zip around like Deku was doing in the fight against Stain. Now THAT would’ve been cool. BGM is lit though.

Favorite characters: Sora & Riku

This is a topic I’m constantly changing my mind on, I like every single one of the main characters. Some more than others, yes, but I’m constantly jumping around between Sora, Riku, Roxas, Ventus, Aqua and Mickey. For now though, I’m going with Sora and Riku.

Sora’s a whole lot more chilled out in this game. And I really like that. In KH2 whenever he wasn’t trash-talking or involved in slap-stick with Donald and Goofy, he was moping around thinking about Riku and Kairi. It’s really nice to see him more carefree and I believe his character is greatly improved with this.

As for Riku, he’s kind of the opposite to Sora? I think his character shines the most when put under duress. We don’t see much of that in KH3, but we get plenty of it in the rest of the series. His constant struggle with the darkness makes for a pretty compelling character arc. Though I do think his peak was in KH2, when he was the ‘Get stuff done’ character alongside Mickey.

The Ending

And here we are... I still don’t know what to make of that ending... This story is filled to the brim with feel-good moments and then it ends on such a conflicting note for me. What comes to my mind is: Why Nomura... Why?

When Aqua returned to the Realm of Light and cried of happiness, I had the dumbest smile in my face.

When Ventus woke up and said “Good Morning, Aqua”, I had the dumbest smile on my face.

When the keyblades from the past came to participate in the ‘Rape-the-Triangle-button’ sequence of this game, I had the dumbest smile on my face.

When Terra (he did nothing wrong) reunited with Aqua and Ven, I had the dumbest smile on my face.

When Roxas returned, I had the dumbest smile on my face.

When Xion cried tears of joy on reuniting with Axel and Roxas, I had the dumbest smile on my face.

And then... at the end Sora fades away? What the fu-WHY? I actually still have a knot in my stomach over this.

Let’s put that aside for now, let’s not forget the fact that while the stuff in Back Cover and Union X did play an important part, it got fuck-all closure. Everyone’s chasing that Black Box but it amounted to nothing in this game. There are 7 new Princesses of Heart and we only see 3 of them. Also why couldn’t Luxu just be Luxu?

All of this could’ve been forgiven though. If everyone had a happy ending that is. But coupling all of this with Sora vanishing at the end... I can’t let it pass. This doesn’t feel satisfying. Goddammit Nomura!

Maybe this is just my knee-jerk reaction. Maybe I’ll see more positives in this ending over time, after I’ve digested it. But for now, this is how I feel...

I also have conflicted feelings about Xehanort’s redemption but I can stomach this one much more easily. While I don’t think adding this in was necessary, I also think it’s harmless. Giving Xehanort a ride off into the sunset instead of just a death is fine by me.

Some other things

Wasn’t it confirmed that Kairi would be playable? :(

Speaking of which, it certainly would’ve been nice to have some sort of Mission Mode a la 358/2 Days to be able to play as other characters. You only play as Riku twice and as Aqua once. Most of the MCs were fully playable at one point or another in the franchise so it would’ve been nice to be able to do so in some capacity in this game. Couldn’t you at least let me fight Terranort as the Lingering Will?

WHY DOES THIS GAME LOOK SO GOOD

I’m sorry if this felt like a bit of a downer. I guess I’m... grieving over Sora? Never thought I’d say something like that. I know that he “comes back” in the secret movie, along with Riku and... Yozora (I thought he was just a parody of Noctis?) and the Master of Masters. But I wonder how that ties into the Foreteller stuff we saw with XigbarLuxu. Also why is Riku there?

May your heart be your guiding key

[layla256]

Key to Her Heart Chapter 3/52: Wants and Needs

A/N: Chapter 3! I was actually really excited to write this episode because I wanted to talk more about the different characters besides just Spike and Buffy, who were pretty much the main focuses of the last two chapters.

For reference, in the universe, Giles never becomes a Watcher because of his dark past. Instead he continues to study magicks while assisting the Council on a consulting basis only. We also get to see a bit more of SoleSlayer!Faith in this one.

I know a lot of people really like Faith, and I know she gets redeemed in season 7 and some in Angel, but funny story . . .

So I got to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer on rented DVDs from Hollywood Rentals, and yes, I type this knowing I’ve dated myself in the process. We didn’t have any kind of streaming subscription because my mom was scared of entering her card number on the internet, and the episodes only aired while I had dance class, so I only had access to the first four seasons of Buffy for years, and none of the seasons of Angel. Meaning that, from middle school until college, I never saw any indication of a redemption for Faith.

Now that I have seen everything, I don’t hate her nearly as much, but she still sets off a lot of red flags for me as a character, and I know I’ll never really get over those several years of thinking of her as the girl who took over Buffy’s body and slept with Riley using it. Then again, after watching seasons 6 and 7, I just generally don’t like anyone past season 5. They kind of become assholes.

The prompt this time was:

“You really think this is a smart idea?”

“Nope.”

“Good. I’d be concerned if you did.”

And that, to me, just reeked of the Angel-Plan. I should be posting the fourth chapter tomorrow at the latest!

. . .

Giles was totally wigging, and Buffy was worried. It’s not that Giles never wigs. He’s in a constant state of wigging, but there was something different about this panic-fest.

And Buffy wasn’t just saying that because he went to Faith instead of her. Either way, that seemed like a problem/conversation for after Giles was being hunted by the demon of the week.

“Look, B,” Faith said, brushing off Willow and Buffy’s concern with a wave of her fingers, “We’ve got this, all right? We’ve got a whole plan and everything. Once we get the big bad demon out of Ms. Calendar, it’ll jump to Angel who can fight it off with his own demon. Then it’ll be dead, your would-be watcher can play his Get Out of Hell Free card, and everything’s five by five.”

For a solid ten seconds, Buffy considered bashing Faith’s head in with a four by four. It probably wouldn’t stick (Slayer healing and all), but it would certainly make her feel better about the situation overall.

“And Angel’s sure he can fight Eyghon off?” Xander questioned, raising a disbelieving brow. “Doesn’t he have a big ‘I can’t fight my demon without curse-y help’ problem?”

This was apparently the worst thing Xander could have said because Faith was immediately in his face. “Angel’s more man than you can manage to be Harris,” she growled. “Way more. So just shut your breakable face and stay out of our way.”

“Not gonna happen,” Buffy declared, drawing their attention to her. “If it was just Rayne, I’d say go ahead, but it’s not. If Giles is involved, we’re all involved.” Stepping between the Slayer and her best friend, Buffy made sure her voice was firm and clear, almost mimicking her mother when she threatened a grounding. “There’s no version of this where we don’t get involved. Got it?”

Faith looked like she wanted to argue, but Amy cut her off. “Let them tag along Faith,” she sneered, looking down at Willow and Buffy over her nose. “See how actually protecting the Hellmouth looks for once.”

Big talk for a girl who got possessed by her own mother the year before, but Buffy wasn’t enough of a bitch to throw that in the other girl’s face. Just barely.

“They don’t need to,” Jesse complained, glaring daggers at Buffy. She held back a scoff. Frankly, she much preferred him glaring daggers than staring at her tits.

“I don’t care what you think,” Buffy growled. “That ‘would-be-watcher’ is our friend, and we’re not turning our backs on him and just hoping you three aren’t gonna toss him to the wolves to save your own asses.”

Faith scowled at Buffy, chest puffing up in aggressive arrogance. “Fine. Just remember this: your ‘friend’ got himself into this mess, and he came to me to get out of it.”

“Only because he didn’t want us in danger!” Willow protested, looking just as annoyed as Buffy felt, but Buffy put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. They needed each other.

In the end, everyone agreed to run home, lie to Mommy and Daddy, and make it back to the library for the main event.

Except Buffy didn’t go home.

. . .

 “Have you lost your bloody mind you stupid bint?” Spike growled, prowling carefully in the shadows of the refinery with a furious look on his face. “This close to fucking sunset an’ you walk to a demon nest like you own the bloody place!”

“Giles is in danger,” Buffy said quickly, pulling Spike out of his wrath. “Some Emo-thingie demon is chasing him and they’re main plan hinges on Angel beating it.”

Spike stood for a moment, blinked twice, and sighed heavily. Something he seemed to be doing often in Buffy’s presence. He held no malice for her pseudo-Watcher, but he was getting a little tired of this white hat that kept getting dropped on his head.

Still, it seemed the man cared for Buffy at least.

. . .

 Spike had been enjoying luring some idiot blonde named . . . Melody? Something like that. Name didn’t matter, just that she was stupid and full of delicious human blood. Suddenly though, his meal was out of his arms and a crossbow was pointed at his chest.

He looked up, expected the Slayer or one of her annoying little shit friends, but instead looked at the face of a furious Would-Be-Watcher. Rupert Giles looked like a bloody demon hunter the way he was decked out, not a hint of tweed in sight. Yes, he looked every bit the man willing to fight his own battles.

Odd for a Watcher.

“What the fuck are you planning with Buffy?” Watcher growled, tightening his grip on the crossbow.

Spike was honestly surprised. From his own experience with Watchers, he assumed that they weren’t even allowed to know a curse any worse than damn. More and more, this man was moving up in Spike’s esteem.

It didn’t mean Spike wasn’t going to kill him, but he’d at least do it in a respectful way.

“Ain’t got a problem with the girl Watcher,” Spike finally said, putting his hands in the air. “She an’ Red are fine by me. Know better than to piss off a couple of witches.”

Watcher obviously wasn’t buying it. “Ah, yes. That would be why you murdered the entire Frat house they partied at last night then. Angry you missed your intended dinner perhaps?”

Now that was a line crossed. Spike moved faster than the other man could see, knocking the crossbow out of his hands before slamming him into the nearby brick wall.

“Now you listen ‘ere,” Spike snarled, face deformed into his usual demonic visage. “Now, I like me a good slaughter. Screams every which way, blood soakin’ the soil. Get’s me all touch-y feel-y with the Brit deep down in me.” His mocking smirk turned into a frown, “But I don’ touch girls like that. Any bint comes to my bed comes willin’ or not at all. That’d be your boy Angelus’s schtick.”

The Watcher’s face, now red from a lack of air as opposed to anger twisted in disgust. “Not . . . my . . .” He didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to; the point was made clear enough.

“Ah, you don’ like the lad either then. Good, then you’ll understand.” He lessened his grip. The human wouldn’t be able to escape, but he’d at least be able to breathe. “I don’ do the ‘rape’ bit Angelus was so keen on back in the days. Don’t let my boys do it either. They know better.” He looked down, focusing on the water puddles at his feet. “Those bastards at the Frat should ‘ave as well.”

Suddenly, he released the Watcher, pacing in front of his gasping form. Spike’s hands clenched and unclenched while his fangs pricked at his lips. His demon howled angrily, demanding blood and retribution. More than had already been taken.

“Buffy an’ Red, they’re good chits, yea?” he asked, turning to stare at a shocked Giles. “Genuine good ones. Ya don’ see that shit often. Girls that strong or kind. Showed some kindness to a soulless shit like me. An’ what’d they get for it? Bunch of arrogant fuckin’ shits slippin’ ‘em roofies and—and—”

Spike couldn’t finish. Much like Buffy the night before, he couldn’t seem to get the words out of his mouth, seeming to find them caught behind his fangs. He kicked at the wall opposite the Watcher, watching the bricks breaking under the force.

It didn’t make him feel better.

Not like their blood had.

“They—” it seemed Giles couldn’t handle it either, staring at his knees in disbelief as he knelt on the filthy ground of the alley. “Those repugnant little cunts,” he finally ground out, knuckles white as he gripped his hands tight. “I’ll—”

“Whatever you wanna do Watcher, I promise I did it already,” Spike said, face fading back to his human image as he came back to himself, shoulder slumped and heart still heavy. “Every damn thing I could think of.”

Giles nodded, standing up and brushing his knees as that good, old British upper lip kicked in. “I’d best check on them then,” he said. Though his stance and face were neutral, the shaking in his voice belayed his true emotions. It seemed the git genuinely cared for the girls, unlike the actual Watchers of Spike’s past.

The two began walking away, Spike not feeling like a meal after having his stomach turn the way it did. “Thank you.”

The words stopped him. Spike turned around, shock on his face as he stared at the still neutral Watcher. “Wha?” he said, not understanding.

“I said ‘Thank you,’” Giles repeated, picking up his crossbow, but not pointing it at Spike. “You defended my . . . charges when I could not. I may not approve of your methods, but . . .” the words were left hanging in the air.

Watcher may not approve, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful in the end.

 …

“How’s Peaches ‘sposed to help you lot then?” Spike asked, taking out a fag to pull on so Buffy couldn’t see his worried face. “He’s killed plenty o’ demons ‘fore. Sure even a poofter like him’ll be alright in the end.”

Buffy shook her head, not looking convinced. “Faith and her merry band of muck ups think it’ll be a great idea to have him get possessed by the demon and fight it back with his demon. You know, like a shitty WWE match that no one wants to see.”

Spike almost choked on the puff of smoke he pulled in, saved only by the fact that he didn’t need to breathe in the first place. “You really think this is a smart idea?”

“Nope.”

“Good. I’d be concerned if you did.” He threw his finished fag into a puddle nearby, biting the inside of his lip in thought. She was right to be concerned. Angelus couldn’t control his own demon, let alone another. Either he’d keep his own demon too far at bay and lose to the interloper, or he’d let it loose far too much, and Spike doubted that good ol’ Angelus was all there after a hundred years trapped with a soul.

“I’ll let them try, though,” Buffy admitted, folding her arms over her chest. “Faith is the actual Slayer. Even if she doesn’t act like it half the time.”

Spike snorted. The Slayer acted it often enough to get on his last bloody nerve.

“But I want you there, in case something goes wrong.”

He stopped and stared at her for a moment. Want. It was an odd word to focus on, one he rarely heard in reference to himself. Drusilla had needed him. Needed her Dark Prince to shield her from all the dark monsters that prowled their world, but she had never wanted him. No, she only wanted her precious Daddy. Anything she said differently, he knew, was either a momentary delusion or an attempt to placate him.

Buffy though—Buffy meant it.

“I’ll be there.”

 …

 Spike was almost disappointed to see his Grand-Sire manage his feat, pouting at the thought of a lost fight. Still, he figured this was for the best. Watcher was safe and sound, Buffy had been appeased by his mere presence, and the Slayerettes had no idea about Buffy’s “special friend”, meaning they wouldn’t be giving her any kind of hell.

Catching her eye as she carried a harried Watcher between herself and the Whelp, he gave her his signature smirk before sinking into the shadows, glad to see her smile in return before he disappeared from sight.

She hadn’t needed him tonight, and, deep down, he was sure both of them knew that when they’d come up with their little “Plan B”.

But she had wanted him there, and that was the important part.

...

The part about want vs need was added in completely last minute, but I loved it so I kept it. I recently had a talk with a friend about relationships and how some people prefer to be wanted over needed and vice versa and how that can say a lot about a person. 

Spike always seemed, to me, like the kind of person who would prefer to be wanted. In my headcanons, going to those awful parties was a requirement for both him and the hosts out of polite obligation. No one but his mother ever really wanted him around, meaning she was the only one who ever gave him positive affection. As a result, I think he spends the rest of his life and unlife chasing that dragon; wanting to  be wanted.

[atamascolily]

An incomplete review of the Star Wars EU/Legends canon

I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually very thankful there will never be another Star Wars EU/Legends book in the old - now non-canon - universe. I've been revisiting those books recently as part of my recent Star Wars kick, and let me tell you, I stopped reading them just at the right time - when Vector Prime came out and they killed Chewie off. It's all downhill from there.

Anyway, the Legends universe is a hot mess, but for me, the five Thrawn Books by Timothy Zahn - Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command, Specter of the Past, and Vision of the Future - are amazing and totally canon in my heart for pretty much everything. Everything else is pretty much "meh" except for a few books that evoke some late '90s nostalgia (because really this blog is all about late '90s nostalgia).

So in my head, Luke and Mara Jade are happily married, and so are Han and Leia; their three children, Jacen, Jaina and Anakin, are all happy-go-lucky teenagers who can use the Force with their besties - Tenel Ka of the Hapes Cluster, Chewie's nephew Lowbaccha, and Tahiri Veila - and getting kidnapped/saving the galaxy every few months. The New Republic is alive and going strong on Coruscant (which never gets invaded by aliens from outside the galaxy), Luke runs the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV; the remnants of the Empire are scattered and disorganized and sue for peace with the New Republic and Captain Pelleaon finally gets the retirement he deserves. It's really great.

But let's face it, I read just about all of the books published prior to 1999 because I was a Star Wars geek and that's just what you did in the late '90s. (They were New York Times best-sellers so I know I wasn't the only one.) In general, I love the art on the books because it looks just like movie posters for films that were never made and that's exactly what I wanted.

Random thoughts on said EU/Legends canon cut below, for length:

-Ben Kenobi's last appearance to Luke in the Legends AU: "You're not the last of the old Jedi... but the first of the new." (TAKE THAT, DISNEY EPISODE 8!) -Awesome things from the Thrawn books: Mara Jade - check. Talon Karrde - check. Art as a major form of military strategy - check. Secret commando ninjas - check. Leia's title as "Lady Vader" - check. Borsk Fey'lya -check. Camaas Document macguffin-thingy- check. Ysalamiri - lizards that block the Force - check. Vornskrs - Force-sensitive predators - check. Insane Jedi master- check. Lots of clones - check. Lawful Evil Imperials - check. Mara fulfilling her orders to the Emperor in the most badass way possible in The Last Command - check, PLEASE. -Jacen, Jaina and Anakin Solo forEVER! -Also, Coruscant and New Republic forever!! -Shadows of the Empire: WTF, Xizor/Leia sex pollen (okay, pheromones) seduction scene???; Dash Rendar is a Han Solo expy, you're not fooling anyone.   -Truce at Bakura: wow, Ssi-ruuvi are full of Fridge Horror, powering their tech with human life force; maybe the Imperials aren't so bad after all; Luke and Gaeriel have no chemistry and also her entire religion is against the Jedi on principle, and she's not interested in changing it for you, Luke, sorry; of course Dev dies after his redemption arc; watching the force-ghost of Anakin Skywalker try to talk to Leia is amazing, because Leia is so not interested in his shit. -The Courtship of Princess Leia: I love the Hapes cluster, but man Han buying a planet in a card game and kidnapping Leia with the Hapan Gun of Command (pretty much what it sounds like) is NOT OKAY; Teneniel Djo is awesome and so is Dathomir in general. Isolder is okay once he gets over Leia, which takes most of the book. Also on the cover on one edition, Leia looks like Sarah from Labyrinth during that dream sequence with Jareth - what? On the other, she's wearing her Endor outfit, as are Han and Luke and there's a Rancor there, too for no good reason that I can recall.   -Jedi Academy Trilogy: Yay getting to see the Kessel spice mines; I'm not so into the Sun Crusher and the Maw Installation, but Qwi Xux and Wedge Antilles are adoreable together, poor Admiral Daala and Imperial sexism (yet another reason Tarkin is an asshole); yay for a Jedi Academy on Yavin IV; Kyp Durron seriously needs to chill, Luke's in a coma for a lot of the series, Exar Kun is not as clever as he thinks himself. -I, Jedi: I'm supposed to like you, Corran Horn, and I'm just not interested and your narrative voice is kinda annoying.... Just sayin'. -The Crystal Star: super weird and trippy, Han and Leia's kids are kidnapped by "The Empire Reborn", which is as dark and terrible as it sounds, Crystal Star explodes, do not read. -The Black Fleet Crisis: super dark and trippy, especially the Yevethan culture; reveal that Luke's mother was one of the Fallanassi - pacifist Jedi who hid when the Empire was formed - only it turns out to be a huge macguffin, which is too bad. -Children of the Jedi: EVEN TRIPPIER AND DARKER THAN THE CRYSTAL STAR, HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE; Luke gets a love interest who's a Force ghost trapped in a ship's computer; sacrifice, body-swapping, creepy song motifs. -Darksaber: Hutts try to build a Death Star, what can possibly go wrong? Luke's new Jedi girlfriend can't live without her force powers when she loses them, so she leaves him. -Planet of Twilight: Luke goes chasing off after Callista and they don't get back together, so that's good. Also dark and trippy.   -The New Rebellion: SUPER DARK AND TRIPPY, LOTS OF MASS MURDER, NOT A FAN. Thank goodness for Mara Jade and Talon Karrde showing up with ysalamiri to turn the force off so Leia can shoot the Evil Dark Jedi behind it all with a blaster. I can't believe I read this. -Ambush at Corellia/Assault on Selonia/Showndown at Centerpoint: also weird and trippy. Han has an evil identical cousin. Luke has to go back and ask Gaeriel for help (she's married now and it's awkward). Lando tries to marry for money and after some awkwardness ends up with Tendra Risant, who is awesome. Lots of things blow up. Kids save the day at the last minute. -I only read one of the Junior Jedi Knights series, Lyric's World, about young Anakin Solo and his friend Tahiri, taking some time off from their Jedi studies to help a friend metamorphose into a new life stage, and I remember it being really charming, despite the inevitable intelligent secret animal sidekick. I later learned that Anakin and Tahiri were kinda an item and then it went horribly wrong in New Jedi Order so I'm glad I didn't read that. -Young Jedi Knights: yay young adult Star Wars novels from the '90s; I  stopped reading after Diversity Alliance, but these were fun - especially Tenel Ka, who was a badass, and I quietly shipped her and Jacen (and then that ALSO ended badly in later books - why can't we have nice things?) Especially good in my memory: Shadow Academy (trying not to get corrupted to the dark side at an academy for Dark Jedi), Lightsabers (Tenel Ka has to deal with losing a hand during a training accident); Diversity Alliance (aliens get pissed off at human dominion in the New Republic government but decide that killing the humans off is the only way to achieve justice).

We're not going to even go into all the stuff that happens post-Vector Prime, because it is truly awful. Go look it up if you're curious.

I did read a few stand-alone books this week, though:

-The later Zahn novels lack the spark and vigor I remember from the Thrawn books. Scoundrels couldn't keep my interest. Allegiance and Choices of One feel very weird to me because Luke and Mara manage to work together without actually meeting each other. Survivor's Quest ought to have been good except somehow Luke and Mara encountering the Outbound Flight expedition was BORING and it shouldn't have been. It's not clear if reading the follow-up novel set during the Old Republic era - titled Outbound Flight - will help with this. -Also, I dislike the retconning so that Mara and Luke make references to Naboo and the Trade Federation, which they didn't do in earlier books, and also Thrawn's major motivation for everything is getting the galaxy ready for the impending invasion of the Yuuzhan Vong in New Jedi Order, which I just - really don't like, especially since NJO was pretty awful. -Also, there are an awful lot of Jedi healing trances in Survivor's Quest, which are only tolerable because the code word that Luke and Mara use to snap each other out of it is "I love you". D'aww. -Also, perhaps this is just me reading too much fanfic, but would it hurt to have at least an allusion to the fact that Luke and Mara have sex on occasion - in addition to snuggling and having Force mind-meld sessions? I'm not asking for porn, mind you, but just anything beyond platonic Force buddies would have been good. -Kenobi, by  John Jackson Miller was another, relatively recent Legends book that ought to have been good. I mean, it's Obi-wan Kenobi hanging out on Tatooine, dealing with Tusken Raiders and moisture farmers - I eat that sort of fanfiction up - but although there were some good bits, it just really didn't work for me. -Those handy timelines in the front - listing every single book and how it fits into the convoluted chronology - is really helpful, though! The only thing that would make it better would be to add authors and dates. But that is what the Internet is for, I guess.

Conclusions and Follow-Up Questions to Research:

-Wow, the '90s were an interesting time. -Bantam Spectra line of EU novels: mostly good, some weirdness. Del Rey line: ARGHHHHH. -Wow, there are a lot more Star Wars books out there then I remember. -Wow, Mara Jade is awesome. -I have a lot of strong opinions on the subject. -Since they stopped putting out Legends novels as of April 2014, I never have to care about keeping up with canon or anything I don't like about this universe ever again. -Has fanfiction spoiled me for the "real" thing? Or is it just a failure of the published works to address the topics I'm REALLY interested in? -Is the Disney EU canon any better? (My guess, given how I feel overall about the direction of the recent movies: probably not for me, but maybe worth checking out.)

[babineni]

Softer world starters: "fake happiness beats genuine misery"?

Thank you thank you thank you, you’re an actual angel you know that? 💖

Anyway here’s a not so tiny KotOR 2 thingy set en route to Telos after the Jedi Enclave scene.

The Ebon Hawk felt strangely empty with Kreia gone. Illa knelt at the spot where her mentor used to meditate and forced her mind to find a connection. She thought that maybe, just maybe, she could sense some hints at Kreia’s plans, some understanding of why she did what she did. Maybe then the Exile could also find the courage to look past her lies and hope for her redemption.

Illa had to admit: hope itself became a painful thing to feel. For the past few months the idea of healing was so certain, the goal of making peace and finding a new family felt so close – and then it all turned out to be a lie. Illa couldn’t blame the Jedi Council or Kreia, she only blamed herself for foolishly thinking she could be anything other than an exile.

The sound of footsteps broke the Exile’s line of thought. She turned around to see Atton approaching. He still looked disoriented from being knocked unconscious earlierdespite his efforts to hide it.

“Shouldn’t you be in the infirmary?” Illa asked as she stepped to the pilot and offered to support him.

“Mical said it’s nothing serious. I’ll just have to rest it out,” Atton sat on the nearest bed. “Don’t worry, I’m fine. But I get the feeling you have more than enough on your mind as it is.”

Illa remembered the Council’s claim about her transmitting her feelings to the people around her. The memory made her heart sink deeper in her chest.

“I bet you do,” she said and sat down beside Atton. He didn’t say a word, he merely tried to read her emotions from her face.

“So – was the meeting with the Council everything you dreamed of?” Atton asked eventually. “I mean, before Kreia decided to stab us-“

“No,” Illa interrupted him. She needed a few more moments to find the right words to explain what the Council told her without hurting him.

Atton scoffed before the Exile could say anything. “Typical,” he shook his head disapprovingly. For a second Illa saw anger in his eyes. “Look, I… I don’t really care what they said. They were wrong.” Before Illa could reply, Atton placed his hand on hers and added with familiar cockiness, “I’ll go get my cards. And then we’re gonna play until you feel better.”

The Exile let out a short and bitter laugh. “Really? You think pazaak would help?”

“Uh… no. But you’re gonna pretend it does just to make me feel better about myself. At least that’s what I hope you’ll do. That would be good enough for now.”

“You’re not making any sense,” Illa frowned, confused.

“It does make sense. Trust me, if you lie to yourself about something long enough, you…you might start believing it,” Atton said jokingly and yet, the Exile thought his words sounded a lot like a confession.

“That doesn’t sound healthy,” she voiced her concern.

“I know,” there was a hint of impatience in Atton’s tone, “but that’s all I’ve got right now. And fake happiness beats genuine misery any day.”

Illa had to admit: there was some wisdom behind the pilot’s words. She expressed her gratitude through a tired smile which Atton returned. It took them a few moments to realize that Atton still held on to the Exile’s hand.

“Alright, I’ll…” the pilot gently squeezed Illa’s hand as he stood up, “I’ll be right back.”

The Exile watched him leave and at that moment it didn’t matter whether it was hope or lies that drove her as long as she kept going.