#hello everyone im high and drinking soda

[still-nix-d-goffic]

Side tracked here but I feel like my main issue with Twilight is not so much the bland love interest thing, I think it's that they're incredibly bland monster boys as well. Like Monster Fucker™ lite. Insulting to a seasoned Monster Fucker™ such as myself.

[daisygirlwrites]

Sapphires (König x fem!Reader)

Summary: You got König the drink you promised him.

Warnings: Consumption of Alcohol

Pairings: König x fem!Reader, slight GhostSoap if you really squint

Word Count: 3,029

Note: No use of (Y/N), hella fluff towards the end

a/n: hello hello! sorry that it took forever for this part but here it is. again, this can be read standalone though it is considered the second fic in my könig x crash works. also, this is long, like the longest of any fics that i posted on here. i wanted to try something a little different this time around, so please, if you have any feedback, they would be appreciated. also, im currently on spring break, so please send in requests if you have any!

taglist: @bobfloydsgf , @warenai , @devilsfoodcake22 , @imalovernotahater , @cutiecusp , @allen-444 , @konig-breedme , @untoldshortsofthefandoms

From your spot at the table, you watched bartenders and servers zip around, getting everyone’s orders and drinks. There were multiple conversations going on at the same time, none of which you paid attention to. Instead, you let your eyes wander over to a certain Austrian man. It wasn’t hard to take notice of him, as being the tallest person in the bar, but just like before in the meeting room, he leaned against the wall, as if he was trying to merge himself with it. 

His civilian outfit was similar to Ghost. A black hood and dark jeans. He wears a mask too but just a plain black facemask and covering his hair was a black beanie. And like your partner, he barely lifts up his mask to take a sip of his drink, the beer bottle covering his lower half of his face. If only you had the confidence you had this morning, you would have been right there next to him, catching a glimpse of his features, even if it was just for a second. 

Initially, you wanted to chat with him and apologize for being unprofessional before the mission but Soap pulled you into the SUV before you got the chance. Once you got to the bar, like high school, everyone went into their separate groups. Horangi stayed by König and you couldn’t help but feel a slight tinge of jealousy. And with your upbringing, you didn’t dare walk up to them and interrupt their conversation. 

Instead, you take a look back to the drink in your hand, it was the same one you’d always get whenever you drank. A simple vodka soda, a reminder of your friends from home and your time in college. How different it would have been if you stayed. To have a normal nine to five life, meeting up with friends on the weekend, worrying about bills. To have the freedom to love. But that’s hard in the life you’re living now. Always a risk of getting injured, a bigger chance of death, you wouldn’t want to put that pressure on someone.  And you wouldn’t want that pressure either. The stress comes with waiting, the fear of them being dead and the pain to deal with afterwards.

“Don’t shit where you eat.”

That’s what your old captain told you. Getting involved with a team member usually doesn’t end well. You’ve seen it happen throughout basic and special forces training. If one is gone, either by breaking up or dying, it almost always ruins the team dynamic. Hell, there are rules because of that, to not lose focus of the purpose for missions. It was very rare to hear two soldiers ending up and staying together before retiring but you always heard about the failed attempts.

Even so, with all the warnings and seeing it happen first hand, you understand why. Having to go through a life and death experience with another person is something a normal everyday person rarely goes through. But with the job you have, it’s a daily occurrence. Though, you never developed feelings for your fellow team members. And yet, a six foot nine Austrian mercenary that you just met the same day made you feel something. Just sexual attraction, that’s all, you tell yourself. But, you don’t want a one night stand. You want to know what his favorite drink is, what books he’s into, what kind of humor he likes so you can tell him jokes just to hear him laugh. Maybe, just maybe, that’ll be enough for you. To be close to feel his warmth, not get burned by it. Because burns leave scars and they stay with you for the rest of your life.  

“Real quiet tonight, Crash.” Hearing the familiar Manchester accent, you turn your head to catch Ghost lifting up his mask to take a sip of his drink. You got a brief glance of his bare chin. Small light scars are scattered across his skin and there is a bigger one that goes from the top of his lips and stops just before his chin. 

Ghost rarely tells you anything personal, but from time to time, Simon does. Usually by accident too. Like finding out this favorite dish had a silly name or the reasons why he hates snakes is because of his father. On the other hand, you were just happy that people were talking to you, so if someone asked, your answer was immediate. Though in this line of work, you try to not make it a habit.

Not only do you wear a mask for anonymity but you have been told that you wear your heart on your sleeves and that it’s easy to tell when you’re lying. It was something about your eyes that held your emotions, so when that was covered up too, people could tell by your body language. You didn’t like the fact that you were an easy person to read, no matter how much you hid yourself. And with a partner who stares at people like a hawk, there’s not a lot to hide from him.

“There’s a lot on my mind right now, LT.”

“A lot? Or just one thing?” You can practically hear the smirk in his voice. He says it in a way that reminds you of your sister. The slight teasing tone whenever she’d ask if there was anyone that caught your eye at school. Then it becomes soft as she tells you to be yourself and that things will turn out fine. But you know Ghost well enough that he won’t give you any brotherly advice, especially if it’s about a relationship. 

You don’t give him an answer, instead you just glared at him. He has his civies mask on, a black balaclava with the bottom half of a skull painted onto it. But without the hard plastic cover, his eyes were as easy to read as yours. They narrow, challenging your stare before he gives you a hard poke to your forehead.

“The hell was that for?”

“Being moody and silent doesn't suit you, that’s my job. Just walk up to him and offer him a drink. Promised him this morning’, yeah?”

Ghost watches you drop your mouth, shaking your head as you try to deny, “What-No, I never said that!”

“You’re a shit liar, Soap listened to your conversation before we got into the plane,” he informs you. Honestly, you shouldn’t be surprised. Yet you still are. Ghost knew of your attraction to König but Soap saying it out loud makes it real.

“Shouldn’t you discourage team members from fraternizing with each other?” You question.

He looks up, deep in thought. Ghost stays like that for a couple more seconds, before answering you, “Yes, it is one of my responsibilities. But you’re an adult, I have no say in your personal life unless it affects our job.” Lifting up his mask again, he finishes his drink. You just stare at him, not believing the words he said. Ghost, the one that’s strict on the team and stricter on you, basically giving you the go-ahead to pursue. He slides over his empty glass to one of the servers coming by, nodding at them for refill, before turning his head to you. “If you want to be technical about it, they’re not really a part of the team. We just work with them.”

Getting up from the chair, he ruffles your head, strands of your hair falling to your face. He leans against the table, taking a glance at you as you push your hair back before speaking again. “Plus, I’d be a hypocrite if I tell you to not go after him.” Another thing you didn’t expect to hear Ghost say but before you got a word in, the server comes back and hands him another glass of bourbon. He gives you a small wave as you watch him leave the table, making his way towards the opposite side of the bar and sliding into an empty seat, right next to Soap. 

You took another look at your drink before downing it. The liquid burns from the back of your throat to your stomach, the soda that was mixed into it leaves a slightly sweet taste to offset the  drink. You bring your glass to the bar, paying for it before heading over to where König was standing. 

Unknowns to you, König kept an eye on you throughout the night. As he listens to Horangi’s plans for their next leave, his sight wanders over to you. You were the only one sitting at the table, watching people pass by as you take occasional sips of your drink. Even if he only knows you for a day, seeing how you interact with the team, a girl like you shouldn’t be alone. 

Horangi stops mid sentence, taking notice that his teammate wasn’t looking at him. He looks over to the same direction, finding you sitting at the table by yourself. “You should go up to her,” he tells the giant. He watched his eyes widen and shook his head.

“If I’m being honest, she makes me kind of nervous,” König looks away but his mask doesn’t hide the blush coming up from his neck. 

“Is that right?” Horangi’s eyes are still on you. But from the corner of his eye, he watches Ghost approaching your direction. “Might miss your shot.”

“Huh?” Turning his head back, he was greeted with the sight of Ghost sitting next to you. He knew you two were close, everyone does. You are his protegee after all, it makes sense. And yet, König couldn’t help but feel his heart sink just a bit. Tearing his gaze away from the two of you, he instead becomes very interested in the beer bottle he was holding. It wasn't like the lager he gets whenever he goes back home during leave, though to be fair, he hasn’t found any other bars serving it outside of the country. However, the one that he has in his hand was the closest one to it. Just a regular brown bottle with a mountain outline etched onto the side. It was simple but König liked it. Lifting his mask, he took one more swig.

Suddenly, he feels someone patting his arm. Glancing over at Horgani, he watches him slowly walk backwards. Cupping his hands, he shouts over the noisy bar, “Aleks is calling me!” Hearing that, König begins to leave his spot by the wall but stops as Horgani yells to him again, “Stay there!”

Confused, he stays by the wall. Kind of annoyed that he was left alone, he finishes his drink. Taking a glance towards his team, he notices that none of them are moving from their spots. That soured his mood a bit. Especially since Horgani was the only person that he talks to and hangs out regularly. Yes, his team is friendly towards him but König felt like he got sent back in time to grade school. As he watched his friends leave him for others. Gripping the bottle tightly, not taking his eyes off his team, he didn’t hear the small footsteps going towards him.

You should turn back, he looks hella pissed right now, you tell yourself. But just like what happened this morning, your mouth was faster than your brain, “König?”

He whipped his head so fast, you thought he would have pulled something. Bright blue eyes stare at you but he says nothing, so you ask him, “Are you alright?”

König hasn’t seen your face up close and he was mesmerized. With your hair in a simple ponytail, the light of the bar illuminates your skin in a warm glow. And good lord, your eye contact, it was like you were staring deep into his soul, he couldn’t help but mirror you. However, with your eyebrows furrowing with concern, he finally responds to you.

“Ah, yes. I’m fine,” König looks down so you wouldn't see him blush, despite the fact he’s wearing a mask.

“Oh! That’s good to hear. You looked a little upset when I came over.”

“Well, my friend left me with no real explanation.” He looked over at Horangi again and was surprised to find him looking back. He gives the Austrian a knowing smile as he lifts up his own drink. He was going to thank him later if things went well with you.

“I get that. My friends didn’t want to hang with me tonight,” you sigh. Would have loved it if one of them stepped up to be my wingman.

“If you’d like, can I keep you company?”

You weren’t sure if he was doing it on purpose but the drop of his voice made your heart skip a beat. Feeling your cheeks warm up, you prayed that it was the alcohol.  “I would like that,” you smiled up to him. After a beat of silence, you spoke up again, “I also want to apologize about this morning.”

“For what?” Thinking back on your interaction this morning, he answers his own question, “Offering me a drink? I thought you were being polite.”

“Yes, but that was unprofessional of me.”

“I didn’t see it that way, you made me feel welcomed.” He tilts his head to the side, and while his mask is covering his lower half of his face, you knew he was smiling with how his eyes crinkle in the corners. 

“Well, let’s get you that drink then.”

After weaving through the crowd, you felt relief as you leaned on the bar. König stands besides you, having to fight the urge to put his hand on the small of your back. A bartender heads over to the two of you, and König passes them his empty bottle. Pulling your card out, you also pass it over to them, “Can we get two more of those?”

A few moments pass and they come back with two bottles, already opened and your card. After signing the receipt, you slide one of the lagers to König, which he thanks you for. As he takes a drink, you inspect the glass, finding the shape of the mountain familiar. Reading the name of the brand, you smile. While beer wasn’t your preferred drink, it does remind you of home, especially since the one you hand in your hand was brewed not too far to where you grew up. 

The bar was becoming a bit crowded, getting pushed back against the wood. König puts a hand on your shoulder and points at an open door that leads to the outside patio. He takes the lead this time, you follow closely behind him. People quickly move out of his way, not wanting to be in the giant’s path. 

The temperature outside was cooler but comfortable. You took a deep breath of the fresh air, trying to relax yourself. It was still quiet between the two of you but it was a comfortable silence. Both of you were leaning against the rail, drinking and listening to the noise of your environment. 

After a couple minutes, it was you that broke the silence. “So, do you like this brand?” 

He looks at you first before glancing down at the bottle , “I do. It’s a bit different from what I get back home, but it’s the closest one to it.” Hearing that, you couldn’t help but feel pride in your home state. “How about you?”

“Oh, it’s not really my go-to choice,” you answer him honestly, “But I like this one. Its brewery is close to my hometown.”

“Really?”

“Heh, yeah,” glancing up at him, you continue, “The mountains are beautiful there. But I bet the ones in Austria is even prettier.”

König shakes his head in disagreement, ‘I’ll need to see the Rocky Mountains for myself first.”

Smiling up to him, he froze. The blood rushed to his cheeks again, although at least the string lights weren’t as bright. However, you were fixated on his face and he couldn’t help but feel self conscious. Though to be fair, he has one of the most lovely shades of blue eyes you’ve ever seen and you were trying to figure out what it reminded you of. After a few seconds, the answer popped into your head.

“Wow, your eyes are like sapphires.” Stunned with what you just said, you attempt to back out, “Oh jeez. I can’t believe I said that out loud. That was pretty corny though, huh?”

König never believed in love at first sight, but with you it, he might be convinced, “Oh no, not at all,” his eyes softened and at this point, he didn't care if his face was red anymore. “I bet anyone would have liked it.”

“I'm glad that you do.”

This was a first of many for König , The first time a girl paid for his drink, to genuinely complement him and to make him fall so quickly. And while he only had confidence in the battlefield, he was confident that you share the sentiment. So badly does he want to kiss you on the lips, but he was afraid it'd be too soon. Instead, he takes your hand that was empty. Placing his bottle on a near by table, he pulls his mask down and brings your hand towards him.

For a second, you catch a glimpse of his pale skin. There were freckles along with small scars that adorned his face. It was evident that he had his nose set back more than once but honestly, it suited him. And his lips, it was a soft shade of pink, the bottom one slightly more plump.

He could smell the perfume you were wearing, some floral sent that reminded him of spring. Your hand felt like velvet even though he could see some small cuts on them, it was signs of a solider. Someone like you shouldn't be in this line of work yet here you are.

His lips are warm, or maybe you're heating up, you couldn't tell. But you knew that once it's over, you will miss it. König pulls back but he doesn't let go and you were grateful for that.

[shyvioletcat]

"Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together" dare i say ,,, firefighter au.

*grins*

Masterlist

~~~~~

It was finally Friday. This week had felt like it had dragged on for a year. One reason being that it was approaching the end of term and kids were starting to lose it just a little. And another reason was because Aelin was desperately waiting for her date with Rowan. His swap to night shift had really thrown a spanner into her plans. If he’d kept to the day shifts who’s knows where they’d be by now.

As Aelin thought about it she let out a heavy sigh leaning on the bar she sat at, waiting for her friends to arrive. She had left school almost as soon as the bell had rung, she wasn’t waiting around to be roped into something. Aelin had grabbed her bag and went out the back gate just to be safe. She’d ordered a soda while waiting, she didn’t want to get in too deep tonight. She had her lunch date with Rowan tomorrow and Aelin wanted to be at her best for it. Which meant no hangovers.

Date. They were finally going on a date.

Aelin smiled and spun on the stool so she could watch the door. Surely Lysandra and Elide would be here soon. The door opened and Aelin sat up a bit when she saw who it was.

Rowan brushed a hand through his hair and looked around the bar, when his eyes met her he gave her a hesitant smile. Aelin tried to return it but she was just a little too confused as to why he was here. Rowan just walked right up to her.

“Hey,” he said

“Hey yourself,” Aelin putting her drink on the bar.

“You get off early?” He asked.

“Not really, you starting late?” She asked him in turn.

“Not really, I start work in an hour. I’m just meeting a friend.” Rowan almost stumbled over the last word.

There was a sinking feeling in Aelin’s stomach. Why hadn’t the two of them met like this yet? They’d been so desperate for each, so desperate to meet up, why hadn’t they’d work something out in their small windows of opportunity? To be fair it may have been too painful, too tantalising. Maybe it was better that they just wait until they could do it right.

“You know what I overheard last night?” Rowan said as he leaned on bar next to her. They was a humorous glint in his eye that had Aelin intrigued.

“What did you overhear last night?”

“Apparently all my friends have a bet going that we end up together,” Rowan said a smile quirking the corner of his lips.

“Do they now?” Aelin said, her own smile turning a bit feline.

“They do. I thought maybe scoping out who has the most to make and making a deal with them,” Rowan said.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, tell the bastards about us on which ever day the biggest payout is and get a cut of the money,” Rowan explained.

Aelin tilted her head back and laughed, making Rowan’s smile spread to all his mouth.

“I don’t intend to wait until whatever date, just to be clear. I have absolutely no qualms about lying to them,” Rowan said.

“I guess you have your mission for tonight then,” Aelin whispered leaning in a bit closer. Rowan’s eyes flitted from her eyes to her lips.

“Rowan?”

A soft, and distinctly feminine voice, said his name and it had him pulling away from Aelin, too quick to be casual. That sinking feeling returned to Aelin’s stomach she turned towards the newcomer. Aelin took her in. She was pretty, with long dark brown hair and chestnut eyes, she looked confident even though she had no doubt witnessed their moment just now.

“Hello Lyria,” Rowan said. Just like that that sizzling energy between her and Rowan vanished. Aelin could tell, she knew this woman was something to Rowan, from the way he had almost shied away from her when the dark haired woman had arrived. And it stung.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she said glancing between Aelin and Rowan.

Movement from the corner of her eye caught Aelin’s attention. Blessedly Lysandra and Elide had just walked in, practically dragging a very petulant looking Manon with them. They had arrived just in time to save Aelin from whatever hell this situation was about to turn into.

“My friends are here, I better go,” Aelin said as she grabbed her glass.

Before she could slide off the stool Rowan grabbed her free hand.

“Talk later?” Rowan’s eyed tried to convey something, whatever it was Aelin couldn’t read it.

“Yeah, maybe,” was all she said before she pulled her hand from his and went to the booth where her saviours were now waiting.

Aelin didn’t turn around to look at what Rowan was doing now, but Lysandra certainly was and made no show of hiding it.

“Is that —“

“Yes,” Aelin said as she sat down.

“Why is he with her?” Lysandra asked.

“I don’t know,’ Aelin said sucking on her straw.

“I thought he was chasing you,” Lysandra said shifting her focus to Aelin.

Aelin sighed. “Me too.”

Manon had been sitting back arms across her chest but she perked up as she heard the conversation.

“Wait, what is going on here? Why is your snack over there talking to a woman who is not you?”

“He’s not my snack,” Aelin said. Then she snuck a glance at Rowan, he and the dark haired woman were both laughing.

“Whatever you want to call him,” Manon said with a wave of her hand, her silver painted nails catching the light. “Why isn’t that you?”

“We have a date tomorrow,” Aelin said.

“Then why is he meeting her today?” Manon asked.

“You know you’re not really making me feel any better about this,” Aelin mumbled.

“I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation,” Elide chimed in, ever the voice reason.

“Then why didn’t he tell you about her?” Manon said. “They look pretty chummy to me.”

No one, it seemed, had an answer for that.

“I hate you,” Aelin whispered.

Lysandra’s face tightened as she kept her eyes on Rowan. Aelin turned and saw Rowan and Lyria were leaving, much earlier than she had expected them to.

“They’re probably off to get naked,” Manon mused.

Lysandra barked a laugh. “They are not. It’s 4 in the afternoon.”

“He’s on a tight schedule,” Aelin said.

“Which is why he probably didn’t have time to tell about meeting his friend,” Elide’s voice sounded a little exasperated.

Manon made a noise that told everyone she did not agree with Elide’s statement.

“Why are you here?” Aelin snapped at her.

Manon didn’t say anything, she just disappeared from the table. When she returned she carried a tray of shots.

“To get you drunk apparently.”

~~~~~

“It was good to see you boys,” Lyria said as she stood. “But I’ll let you get to work.”

Lyria said goodbye to Rowan and his team before going to the door, then she turned.

“Oh and Rowan, good luck,” Lyria said with a smile before ducking out the door.

“Good luck with what?” Connall asked almost immediately.

“Ah, she saw me and Aelin at the bar,” Rowan said with a shrug.

“Wait what?” Fenrys said. “You were with Aelin at the bar where you had told Lyria to meet you.”

“Yes, just by chance,” Rowan said, not quite understanding what Fenrys was getting at.

But it was Vaughan who laughed and answered. “So the girl you’ve been chasing sees you meeting another girl at a bar, who you are very comfortable with, and you think she’s fine with that?”

“I don’t have to be into every girl I’m alone with, unlike you. But also it’s Lyria,” Rowan said, still a little perplexed.

“Rowan, does Aelin know who Lyria is?” Fenrys asked.

Rowan quickly ran though his conversations he’d had with Aelin. She’d told him about Sam and he had… no he hadn’t. He had meant to say something, share some of his vulnerability and pain with her but then Aelin had distracted him and he never had. Aelin didn’t know who Lyria was.

“No,” Rowan said quietly.

Then Aelin’s parting words rang in his head.

Yeah, maybe…

“She thinks…” Rowan groaned.

“Yeah, she probably thinks you’re running multiple girls,” Fenrys said with a shrug.

Rowan didn’t wait to hear anymore of their commentary, he was out of the room and calling Aelin. She didn’t pick up. Over and over. He sent her a text asking her to call him. But nothing.

Then hours into his shift he got a text that made him feel sick.

Somethings come up. I can’t do lunch tomorrow.

It took everything in Rowan not to throw phone at the wall.

~~~~~

This is Rowan’s last dumb bird move, I swear. Hold in there guys, i love you.

Tags:

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[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. At the courthouse. Bell and Adam are in “discussion” in Hartcourt’s office)

Belle: YOU BASTARD!!!!

Adam: what. What now.

Belle: you cannot take the school. I have been more then generous

Adam: I helped create it!

Belle: IT IS SIGNED IN MY NAME. And. Need I remind you. I had to twist your arm to make it coed and allow non royalty and non humans to be enrolled

Adam: schools are meant for

Belle: everyone! Boy, girls, humans, fairies, dwarves, royal, nob royalty, magic users and mortals alike.

Adam: you said for better or worse

Belle: worse meant if you gambled away our money. Not sinking back into old habits and creating a generational internment camp and becoming little more then the beast you once were

(Adam flips the coffee table in a rage and sends it hurtling into the opposite wall)

Adam: I AM NOT THE BEAST!!!! NOT ANYMORE!!!!

Belle (more calm then she should be): then why did you just throw a table across the room? Mr Hartcourt. I believe we are ready to sign the papers now

Jaques: yes yes. You know where I assume.

Adam: wait

Belle: oh what now!

(This is when “who knew” happens. After the song)

Belle: yeah. Who knew. Who knew you’d devolve into who you were when we met

Adam: you fell in love with that man

Belle: I fell in love with the man who saved me from wolves. Not the creature who threatened to starve me because I refused to dine with him. And certainly not the man who imprisoned innocent children on an island hellscape for two decades. But to you it’s all the same thing isn’t it?

(Adam doesn’t respond)

Belle: See. No answer. Let’s get these papers signed

(On the island)

Mal (on the tv): IM ENGAGED!!!! HAHAHAHA

(On a BarcaLounger a woman with electric blue hair and punk clothes wakes up. And tips over backwards)

Hades: JESUS FUCK! (She snorts and tips the right way up again). Tv rewind! Heh heh. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

(From somewhere in the abode)

Hadie (dressed in smudged eyeliner, silk robe, and hair a mess): I just got in ten minutes ago and you’re yelling oh shit. She did it

Hades: my girl did it.

Hadie: Iris is with the dwarf right?

Hades: that’s Hestia my boy

Hadie: and Icarus?

(Hades doesn’t answer)

Hadie: Oh. Well he lived a good life

Hades: your brother was 18 when he sank beneath

Hadie: I said good not long

Hades: ah yeah right. OOH! Iris needs an engagement present from dear old dad

(Her form melts from Eva Green to Jesse L Martin and starts rummaging through the mountains of detritus in the lair)

Hades: ok now where was it

Hadie: no.

Hades: no what?

Hadie: no you can’t. It could kill her. Iris could very well be the uniting force between Auradon and this trash hole. And doing anything to harm that would be stupid shortsighted and just plain fucking annoying.

Hades: how can you say all that with a hangover.

Hadie: reed root.

Hades: ohhhh. Byeeeeee

(He’s engulfed by electric blue flame)

Hadie: no. NononononoGARGH!!!! Fucking deity

(Back in Auradon. The celebration is in full swing. Doug and Evie have commandeered the dance floor. Carlos is being traumatised by Ben’s dad dancing. Jay’s trying to make “dancing in the moonlight” even louder then it currently is. Everyone’s having fun but dizzy who’s desperately trying to get to Mal, who’s giving Jane a little taster of her lady marmalade performance)

Dizzy: aunt Mal! What are you doing

Mal (abruptly standing up): nothing your mother needs to know about. Especially when your present. Jane dear drink your water

(Jane, eyes as wide as dinner plates, takes a sip of water)

Mal: now. What is it you wanted me for kid?

Dizzy: it’s Celia

Mal (the smile melts from her face): what? What’s wrong?

Dizzy: just. Just come on and help me. Please aunt Mal. Please?

Mal: of course. Yes. I will. Where is she?

Dizzy: our room. She’s in a bad way and

(Mal teleports them to Dizzy’s room then has to duck as a draw comes flying at her. Celia’s tearing the room apart growing more and more frantic with each passing second)

Celia: where is it where is it. I can’t have lost it. Please be here. Please be here. Please

Mal (tentatively): Celia? Are you ok?

Celia (thickly): go away. I don’t want you here. Go away.

Dizzy: Mal has the sceptre. She could use it to help

Celia (feeling betrayed): you brought her here. Why?

Mal (taking the heat for Dizzy): because. I have a little experience with losing things. Things that shouldn’t be lost. Magic. Books. Temper. I could help you. Only if you want to though

Celia (face crumpling): I lost it

Mal: lost what honey?

Celia: my cane. I thought I packed it. My dad made it for me. It’s like it’s like

Mal: a security blanket? Helps you sleep? Calms you down when you’re stressed?

(Celia nods tearfully)

Mal: well alright then. Dizzy could you go to the mini fridge? There should be some soda there

Dizzy: sure

Mal: now. You drink this. And take a nap. I’ll be right here with you. And then when you’re feeling better we can make a plan. Sound good?

Celia (feeling a little better): yeah

(Later. Ben poofs in looking for Mal)

Mal: what in gods name are you wearing and can you wear it more often?

Ben: jay stole my clothes and the twins think my crown has chocolate in it

Mal: why did jay steal your clothes.

Ben: bachelor party

Mal: ohhhh right. Where’s he gonna take you? A frat house manned by Homer Simpson?

Ben: I think ro Rome was mentioned.

Mal: you think it was mentioned?

Ben: double clothes change

Mal: hope you had water on hand. (Looks at his hat). Or beer.

(Ben smiles at her sheepishly. She chuckles)

Celia: what in the name of the Other Side are you wearing

Ben (barely able to stop himself from laughing): important king clothes?

Celia: looks like a burial shroud

(Bal collapse into laughter, Celia joins in right after. Jay poofs in wearing the same thing as Ben)

Mal (still laughing): now this. This works on jay.

Ben (choking on laughter): built like a Greek god

Celia: are they always like this?

Jay: sometime. Never on Saturdays though.

Celia: ah.

(Mal eventually calms down, Ben is still laughing)

Mal: what can we do you for?

Jay: well you disappeared. Then Ben disapperead. You guys are engaged. It’s a party. Have fun. Come on back down to the entrance yard. Everyone’s waiting for you.

Mal: well. Everyone should be in one place so I can tell them

Jay: tell them what?

(Two minutes, a teleportation and an announcement later)

Evie: you’re going WHERE?

Mal: the island. Celia forgot something and she needs it. So I’m going to go with her to get it

Carlos: are you absolutely sure?

Mal (cupping his face in her hands): it’s sweet that you care. But I’m sure. If it doesn’t work you (pointedly to Evie) and only you have my express permission to say “I told you so”

Carlos: I’d like that. I’d really like that

Jay: we’re coming too

Ben: seconded

Devie and Carlos: thirded

Mal: I couldn’t ask you to do that.

Evie: oh M. You’re not asking. We’re telling. Because last time you fucked off ben almost teared the steering wheel off in the limo. The he yelled at me

Dizzy: you were kind of to blame mom

Mal: hey Celia. On the way there. I’m sure Ben and Doug would love to see the cards

Celia (feeling much better now): if they’re prepared to pay up

Dizzy: you can take it out of my allowance

Doug: your allowance is half of my allowance

Dizzy: right.

Ben: I’ll pay for both of us

Celia: anyway is ok with me

Mal: lets go then

Gil: uhhhh. Can I stay here. I don’t wanna leave my boys again

Ben: sure bud

Dizzy: I’m coming with you guys

Devie: no.

Dizzy: why the hell not

Doug: because we won’t be there long

Gil: ah don’t worry Dizz. You can stay with us. Lonnie and I’ll be fencing.

Dizzy: I guess staying here won’t be so bad

Doug (sardonically): of course

Celia: I think she should come with us. She’s my best friend.

(Mal and Evie look at each other trying not to laugh)

Mal: the choice is up to Dizzy

Dizzy: I stay here

Evie: alright then. Let’s go

(Once on the island

Celia: well I just made forty bucks so I’m feeling much better

Ben: there’s plenty more where that came from

Facillier: you do know that she’ll hold you to that

Celia: DAD!

(She runs up to her dad who picks her up)

Facillier: I do hope she hadn’t caused you any trouble

Mal: no. Don’t worry. We’re just back so Celia can grab something she forgot

Celia: my cane

(The other four vks faces pale)

Carlos (venom in his voice): what

Celia: my cane. I can’t sleep without it

Mal: ok. We’re leaving. And your lucky I don’t burn this place to the ground. And you along with it. “Shadow man”

Facillier (perplexed): wait what? What are you talking about

Doug: uh doctor facillier. I um. I think my family may have got their wires crossed. Evie. Honey. Walking stick.

Evie: what. (She follows Doug’s line of sight) ohhhh. Urgh. Our bad

Celia: dad made it for me. I can’t sleep without it

Mal: right. Um. You go get it. We’ll wait right here

(Celia runs off. Leaving the others standing around awkwardly)

Ben: Doctor Facillier. I am so sorry that we thought

Facillier: please your majesty. Call me Antoine. And don’t be sorry. It’s nice to see that Auradon has done something good for the isle children. You’ll be back next Saturday I assume

Ben: of course. And you can call me Ben if you like

Facillier (dryly): ah ha. I’d rather not

Ben (seeing he’s outstayed his welcome): oookay

Carlos: hey dad. Wanna see me neat Doug at the games?

Doug: nice try C. But I’m a professional dancer

Carlos: so am I.

Ben: that means you’re evenly matched. Should be interesting. C’mon. K OK yes see who wins. Malta holidays the reward

(Elsewhere. A short-ish brunette pirate is bumbling her way to Mal jay and Evie)

Harriet (her soft voice at odds with her harsh tone): well we’ll well. Lookee what we got ‘ere. The grand high bitch as dinged to grade us with her present

Mal: oh jeez. Hello Harriet.

Harriet (belching): lizard

Mal: ew. How drunk are you woman

Harriet: ......quite

Evie: oh don’t worry. Soon all that (she gestures to the pirates face) will be covered by a death mask

Harriet: you gonna do me in like you did my bruvver?

Jay: oh dear hookette. He deserved what happened to him

Harriet: HE CANT FUCKING SWIM. HE DROWNED. HES DEAD. YOU LOT KILLED HIM. YOU KILLED EM BOTH

Mal: they tried to kill my friends and family. They tried to capsize and drown the entire student body

Harriet: who gives a fuck about them. They never cared about us. Oh but of course. Uma was right. Uma’s always right

Facillier (intervening before the situation escalates): go home Miss Hook. You’re drunk

Harriet: I’ve been drunk for a year Ant

Facillier: that is Doctor Facillier to you. Now get out. Before I throw you out.

Harriet: make me honey

Facillier: I am older than your father

Harriet: hasn’t stopped me befAAAAAAAAAAAAH

(She’s encased in shade and dragged through the floor)

Celia (eyes glowing fuchsia): you guys aren’t the only ones with magic

Evie (squeaking): EEEEEEEEEEE! What was that

Celia: that means he likes you

Mal: who?

Celia: my pet shadow. Skygge. I can keep him right?

Ben: sure

Celia: yes! Bye daddy

Facillier: bye my girl. And remember. Make sure you get your cut

Celia: already got forty bucks.

Facillier: very good girl. Make sure to write

Celia: of course

(As they’re leaving)

Facillier: lady Mal. Can we talk

Mal: sure...?

Facillier: you are in possession of very precious cargo.

Mal: we know.

Facillier: I know the king. And your sister. The genie. Your son. And Doug all know. But I want to make sure that you know. My daughter is very important to me. If anything should happen to her

Mal: it won’t

Facillier (eyes glowing fuchsia): if it should. I shall hold you personally responsible

Mal (eyes glowing emerald green): I understand your concern. And I assure you. It won’t.

Facillier: the first sign of danger you get her out. She will want to fight but you put your foot down. Do you understand Mal?

Mal: yes. I thoroughly understand. Antoine

Facillier (cracking a very wide smile): well then. Congratulations on the engagement. I’m sure you’ll make a great queen.

Mal: thank you

(At the limo)

Evie: god I love...haaaaaa-hooooow you stopped us causing a scene. I really appreciate it.

Doug (knowing what she was going to say): you’re welcome

(He gets in. Mal poofs in and throws her arm around Evie’s shoulder)

Mal: gotta tell eventually kid

Evie: when we’re ready. Old lady

Mal (smirking and secretly proud of her sister): touché

(They both get in the limo and Carlos starts driving away from the isle)

[whatevenismyaestheticidk]

Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 2

Person 1: But air doesn’t splash Person 2: How do we know that, Im splashing the air right now.

Person: Prove me wrong. Prove fish can’t see air.

Person: I think you underestimate just how poor I am.

Person: I just invented a new thing. No Romo. Like no homo but with romance cause I’m lonely. Get it?

Person: So yah I burned my hair cooking ramen.

Person: Well I figured he wasn’t an adopted iguana.

Person: Say it. You know god is watching.

Person 1 upon heading the news of George Bush’s death: Wait he’s still alive? Person 2: No he’s dead that’s the point.

Person: I got it. *five second pause* no I don’t got it.

Person 1: My name is (name), but you can call me yours. Person 2: Okay nice to meet you yours.

Person: Don’t drink it all fool.

Person: Bruh you could literally turn in a gay fanfic and he’d give it an A.

Person: Bruh, what is this triangular accusation?

Person 1:It’s call physics. Person 2: Yah but I don’t take Physics hence they should not apply to me.

Person 1: Discreet. Person 2: No discr-yeet *dabs*

Person 1: Be impressed with my ability to bull shit. Person 2: I mean, it’s gotten you this far.

Person: Why do I feel like finals are lowkey Russian roulette? Like okay I made it through most of them but I still have a few pulls of the trigger to go and one of them might get me.

Person 1: Murder. Just do it. Person 2: I didn’t know that nike was sponsoring murder.

Person: How do mermaids reproduce if they’re just like conjoined legs?

Person 1: Frozen Yogurt Person 2: Fro yo Person 1: Frozen YOgUrt Person 2: Fro Yo Person 1: FROZEN YOGURT

Person: All I have to do to commit suicide is jump from my parents expectations to my grades.

Person 1: I mean yah I cheated on that test. Person 2: Man your love life it DOOMED!

Person: I was seeing if I was tripophobic by repeatedly stabbing my finger with my pen.

Person: You do know that crickets exist during the day right?

Person 1: Hey (person 2), we’re friends right? Person 2: ….. What do you want. Person 1: You know, that sandwich looks real good. *person 2 hand them the sandwich* OMIGOD THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!

Person: Omigod (person’s name) is going through puberty!

Person: If you pulled my ear I would have ripped out your nostril.”

Person 1: She’s attacking me! Person 2: No, he’s beating a woman, that’s not polite.

Person 1: I know many things! Person 2: like what? Person 1: ..... Person 2: my point.

Person: My shoes will be sparkly red stilettos. Fight me Dorothy.

Person: umm hello Christmas miracle even though I’m not Christian. Come at me 15 years from now!

Person 1: you’d make a really good baldie Person 2: yah you have a really rest head shape

Person: you know teletubbies? Yah that but compressed.

Person 1: I mean how will you become American? Person 2: paint me white, I’ll get a passport.

Person 1: I’m so funny. Person 3: it’s hard not to be when your life is a joke.

Person 1: So I’ve decided that my new career choice is to make school specific memes Person 2: That's Plan A? Yeash... at least Plan B lands you some cash

Person: I’m so small and bitter I’m like a human expresso

Person: You know what I’d name a baby kangaroo if I had one? David Jowie.

Person: I’m just saying that the orange red glitter crayon is you.

Person: I feel like a 1940’s schoolgirl who goes to an all girl finishing school where embroidery is a required class.

Person: I started high school with straight A’s, now I’m not even straight.

Person: Yeah, I’d swear by comic sans.

Person: (Persons name)stop being depressy and you’ll be more sucessy

Person: You can totally be insecure and self absorbed at the same time.

Person 1: Are you kids okay? Person 2: Besides crippling depression yeah.

Person: I don’t know it’s just giving me pig vibes.

Person: What drugs where the animators for “Pink Elephants on Parade” on?

Person: long story short I make like a semi hot guy.

Person: If I where pregnant id just be like 'you put this thing inside of me, you're helping me until it's out.'

Person: These girls asked me what type of  guys I like and being the simple gay I am, I completely blanked

Person 1: why do you read on your phone if you get carsick at 20 minutes? Person 2:Because it works for the first 19 minutes.

Person: Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a bar. Just kidding they aren't old enough to drink. Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a school cafeteria...

Person: I can't do alcohol cause I'm not of age but I can do drugs because they're illegal for everyone.

Person 1: you can't have a breakdown, it's the third day of school. Person 2:... so?

*Group of kids singing Bohemian Rhapsody in twelve different keys* Person: For gods sake choose a key!

Person: For gods sake that was complicated. You didn't need to send out a survey to see which episode of which season of which show to watch.

Person: Honestly I'd chose stab over dab any day.

Person 1: She said she'd throw me out of the window. Person 2: She never did. Person 1: She never did.

Person: What language is this? *pause* Oh wait it's English.

Person 1: I mean it's pretty hit or miss. Person 2 from across the courtyard: I guess they never miss, huh?

Person: Chu-chu bitch. I’m a train.

Person after loosing game of kahoots: I’m going to ka-shoot myself.

Person: So basically I need to learn Hungarian for a song.

Person: No one screams their sneeze, its not human

Person: If I where a mosquito I would bite you and you’d get malaria and die.

Person: That tide pod aesthetic.

Person: No I loved Barney, Barney was my bo.

Person: If I where my own boyfriend I’d dump me.

Person: It's already a really good song but then it's dubstep so it's extra good.

Person: No one is EVER to old for coolmathgames.com

Person 1: Why are you using a poon? Person 2:….. Person 1: WHY ARE YOU USING A POON?!

Person 1: I’ve been blonde for 16 years. Person 2: So what? I’ve been brown for 16 years and you don’t see me coloring myself white!

Person: Yes. Scrape the sweat off my hand.

Person: No one cares about a square cube of water.

Person: We’re melanin intoxicated.

Person: Well my life may be a mess, but at least I’m not doing drugs. Yet.

Person: Negative 13 out of 10, do not recommend.

Person: Yah that’s gunna have to be a no from me.

Person: Fool me once......fool me twice.......fool me as many times as you want, my first name is dumbass.

Person 1: Ya know, I think the Americans have the order of dates right JUST BECAUSE you can do 4/20/2019. Person 2: Okay but they’re still wrong though.

Person with AirPods: And where are YOUR AirPods? Thats what I thought you broke bitches.

Person: Salem witch trials bitches.

Person: La Croix, the AirPods of the soda world.

Person: Who needs a thermometer when you have… your hands!?

Person 1: It’s time to bring back SEXY MASQUERADE BALLS Person 2: It really is. I need an excuse to wear an incredibly uncomfortable dress that's so big I can't even walk through doorways. Person 1: And to wear a swan inspired mask that doesn’t cover enough of my face to deem myself totally anonymous enough to be half as bold and daring as i plan on acting that night but everyone else is on board we’ll all just forget about it the next day. Person 2: That's to specific for you to have made up on the spot, you've thought about this.

Person: It was lady Macbeth that drugged and made the guards drunk, without her Macbeth would just be like “I guess I’ll stab him???” Person: It’s like playing where’s Waldo but the page is India and I’m Waldo.3Person: Why are there so many frowny faces everywhere?

Person: This group chat is weird. It's either homework, deep philosophical conversations, or memes, there's no in between.

Person 1: Honestly, where DID it come from Person 2: The endless abyss that is the internet.

Person: Are you really blaming our generational depression on Jake Paul?

Person 1:  Oh. My. God. Guys. Keep your carbon dioxide away from my computer. Person 2: But sharing is caring. Person 1: But my computer doesn’t need this kinda of negativity in its life right now.

Person: Sweetie, if you think I’m going to stop wearing my favorite dress just because you kissed me in it, you are dead wrong.

Person with a metal straw: I don't drink broke.

Person: My whole life has become that sock on the floor. It's just there. When did life screw us over and then just ex? I’m just gonna write a book, and the last sentence will be life screwed them over and then exed. A story of the main character who gets screwed over, so I can get that 'it be like that sometimes' reaction.

Person in group chat: Positivity- I will make you feel better about being an idiot. Self Doubt- I will highlight all of your mistakes and set low standards for you so you'll never be disappointed. Me to Self Doubt- I'm listening...

Person 1: Sadly the disappointment never goes away... Person 2: Man we're a sad lot this time of year.

Person 1:It’s almost my favorite time of the year Person 2:Ahh yes. Singles awareness day, also known as chocolate sales at Walgreens eve, also known as... Valentine's Day. Person 1:... Oh... I meant rainy season.

Person: Being antivax is like swimming in shark infested waters because you're afraid the bridge could break lmao.

Person: I learned how eat a kumquat this weekend.

Person: It’s so sticky. It’s like clear cheese.

Person: Hamburger helper? More like hamburger help me pass this class.

Person 1: So I slipped on a grape… Person 2: You got K.O.’ed by a grape (person’s name), how does it feel.

Person 1: Look at me, I’m fine. Person 2: Well how many drugs did you take. Person 1: Several.

Person 1: Did you just say it’s ALMOST FEBRUARY? Person 2: Yes, it’s January 72nd.

Person: I knew your comedic standards where low, but poop jokes? Really?

Person: What? So are you insinuating the fact that reliablest isn't a word?

Person 1: [bitter old man voice] back in my day, tik tok was a kesha song. Person 2: Back in my day we had wires attached to our AirPods.

Person: There's a reason rainbows aren't straight. Just saying.

Person reading sheet music and seeing mf crescendo: I forgot that mezzo forte was a thing for a second so I thought it said mother fucker as a crescendo but mood

Person: He looks like a fine piece of toasted white bread.

Person: If life hasn't given me a fist bump by now, why should I give life one?

Person: we all died in 2012 this is hell.

Person 1: Who wants a pamphlet on condoms? Person 2: Why do you have this? Do you collect them? Person 1: Yah it’s my hobby. I have this one, one on HIV and one on teenage pregnancy.

Person: We live a society where reading about assassins and gory details is a hobby.

Person: Stop breathing so loudly on my thumb!

Person 1: I’m the comic relief. Person 2: For what? Person 1: Myself.

Person1: Who’s your valentine this year? Person 2: Me, myself and I. Person 1: Wow three valentines, you really can’t keep them away can you?

Person: Why do women gotta get their period, why not men. I wish I was born a seahorse.

Person 1: No we can’t all fit, her car is smol. Like you. Person 2:  Says you miss 5 foot nothing lmao. Person 1: Hey we’re the same hight so says you miss 5 foot nothing.

Person: No, that’s cheating no emotionally disabling people.

Person 1: Why is it that we’re talking about someone burning eggs on two different group chats. Person 2: Hey I didn’t burn them. Person 3: Cause why not?

Person 1:  That’s not how an Australian accent works. Person 2: This is why I’m not Australian, I don’t have the koala-fications.

Person 1: I’m Indian, numbers run through my blood. Person 2: That’s like saying I’m going to marry my cousin just because I’m white.

Person: So I ate veggies and hummus for lunch but then I counterbalanced it by eating a spoon full of straight Nutella.

Person: Seagulls, California Pigeons, what’s the difference?

Person 1: I humbly apologize and request your forgiveness. Person 2:  I humbly decline your request for forgiveness.

Person: I think I’m permanently stuck somewhere between “If you mess with me I’ll fight” and “If you mess with me I’ll cry.”

Person 1: It was implied! Person 2: What’s implied is your inability to accept that fact that I’m right!

Person 1: I got lazy because I was eating Pringles. Person 2: She values Pringles more than me.

Person: Yo, you be the crazy ex girls they be talking about in memes.

Person: I swear (persons name) if I hooked up with squidward in your dream your subconscious and I need to have a little talk.

Person: You get to die, and you get to die! Everybody gets to die!

Person: How do you just add a child?

Person 1: Look at this ink based pencil. Person 2: A pen?
 Person 1: This egg is all broken. Person 2: It’s like you then, you both broke under the pressure.

Lakshmi: Don’t force your opinion, voice it.

Person 1: If I where a fruit, which one would I be? Person 2: Sushi. Person 1:… Sushi isn’t a fruit.

Person: I mean it’s not straight up “Yo come here I’m gunna kill you.”

Person: Bye gays, bye (other girls name).

Person 1: No (person B) stop. Just shut up. You’re making me loose brain cells. Person 2: But… Person 1: No. Just no.

Person: Stop. That is non-consensual pizza eating.

Person 1: Cheese is not a vegetable! Person 2: Well it’s not a meat either! Person 3: Guys… It’s dairy.

Person: Idiots have priority over just regular dumb people

Person: God melted the polar ice caps just to make it rain for Noah then refroze them. I don’t know (kids name) I’m not god!

Person: You and I will go out, and leave them to their raw fish rolled in sea salad.

Person: Does anyone else get really energized when they change their room? Just me? Okay.

Person: I hope you know I will diss you guys to the end of the earth.

Person: Bruh talk to (person’s name) I don’t know sh… *notices teacher looking at her*…niahhh.

Person 1: The thing is, I don’t want to be 80 that’s rough. Person 2: Then just die at 50.

Person: You’d be scrambled eggs with hair.

Person: Seeing you two fighting, it’s like seeing a piece of light fighting a black hole.

Teacher: What can you tell me about probability? Student 1: I hate it. Student 2: Dont you mean you? Student 1: Yes both.

Person: My brain has the dumb I’m sorry

Person 1: If my first word was no, I’m assuming that’s foreshadowing for them my family disowns me after I renounce religion and systemic abuse. Person 2: Or…. You just need to make sure your last word is yes. Person 1: Yes to what though? Person 2: ‘Are you dying?’ Yes.’ Pessimism, just your style. Person 1: That’s true.

Person: My parents don’t message me, they’re the type of people who CALL. Where did I get my social anxiety from??

Person: Well guys it's been great knowing you I’m just going to drown now.

Person: I figured out a new diet regime, it’s called sleeping until noon and just not eating breakfast.

Person: The f on my birth certificate was the doctor paying their respects.

Person: Chocolates with raspberry filling are the sole reason I’m still alive.

Person 1: Isn’t Latin a dead language? Person 2: You’re a dead language!

Person: Hydrate before you diedrate.

Person 1: you have a son named Spider-Man? Person 2:  what noooo! Person 3: well don’t expose her!

Person: That awkward moment when you just really don’t care about people.

Person 1: (Person 2) and I will be over here with my virgin margarita and her water. Person 2: Hey! I want apple juice! Person 3: Why are you not drinking (Person 1)? Person 2: Because she’s to single, and also she’d strip. Person 1: Woahh! How dare you assume that I’m not drinking because I’m to single?

Person 1: Ya know, I think I’m going to have to jazz hands my way through hell. Person 2: All of us will.

Person: Brown town children, y’all find someone in India?

Person 1: Wow you have the best backup singers. Person 2: I only hire the best, at least 5 stars in yelp. Person 1: Well good because that’s  the sound they’re making.

Person: The cold kills everything, it’s like my heart.

Person 1: Remember the rolls I brought to school last year that I used to give you? The ones with paneer and the really good spices? Person 2: Yah? Person 1: This is not at all the same thing.

Person 1: What’s stevia? Person 2: It’s like sugar but no.

Person 1: Yeetus Skelettus. Person 2: Fetus Deletes? Honey, that’s called abortion.

Person: Anything for you. That’s what you said. Anything for you. But when I ask for just one bite of your pasta? No!

Person 1: I've written 1,300 words and don’t have a thesis statement or topic question Person 2: Yeah, you need to figure that out.

Person 1: you know I had a dream that you where in a romantic relationship with a toaster. Person 2:  wasn’t that your relationship with (ex’s name)? Person 1: you’d have more chemistry with a toaster.

Person: Can people read colors? Cause I am ooo.

Person: It’s like hands but medusa

Person: You look like a cardboard jellyfish that’s brown

Person 1: Two of us like boys. Person 2: We all like boys. Person 1: Two of us like ONLY boys.

Person: you’re like a reverse plant. You convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Person: Shhhhh. I’m not in physics, let me be dumb in peace.

Person: Why are you laying down like some greek god, get up you brown child.

Person 1: Do all of you just think you’re going to be single? Person 2: I already am why not keep the streak going to get a high score?

Person: and now cracks of light are coming out from around the sides like some sort of computer Jesus!

People 1 and 2: Rock Paper Scissors Person 3: shoot me please.

Person 1: not since 9/11 you can’t. Person 2: dang. You just tossed your whole country just to prove a point. I’ve never been so proud.

Person 1: what is an angle of depression? Person 2: it’s my life. Person 1: no it’s you because it’s not straight.

Person: Boom. Lesbians.

Person 1: Well what if two rocks just washed up at the same time and humans. Person 2: Evolution.

Person: Watermelon isn’t good anymore, I swear its just water with food coloring.

Person: You being dumb makes me want to correct you, sos too being dumb cause I’m on vocal rest.

Person: well (persons name) who have you a mouth?

Person: Teachers that grade late work deserve all the love and cookies and cake in the world.

Person 1: honestly I just want to die right now. Person 2: same. Literally same.

Person: I just feel like a single molecule lost in space.

Person: who’s gunna stop me? God? Damn him to hell.

Person: the line is not actually straight it’s like (students name)

Person 1: It’s your favorite sleep deprived gay. Person 2: But I’m my favorite sleep deprived gay. Self love. Person 1: We Stan.

Person 1: Why do you have a tool? Person 2: Because my hair is moist.

Person: eating lead was an otherworldly experience

Person 1: I have everything stolen from me 2: at least you have the tiniest bit of dignity left 3: what dignity? 1: exactly

Person 1:( holding up katsup) does this go on salad?

Person:I’m turning red! Me! A brown girl!

Person: I’m not trying argue that we should date, I’m just saying.

Person 1: what’s your biggest turn on? Person2 : a light switch Person 2: or then leaving.

Person 1: what is the most attractive retire on someone Person 2: my own face

Person: you’d be that one bar do white chocolate that just sits in the feidge because no one wants it

Person: that’s like saying I’d rather see your shirt than your face.

Person: why would I shut up when I can shut (kids name) down

Person: Subtle. Gay. Vibes. I’m telling you.

Person: just watch me write my ee on all the reasons why nick caraway is gay. Just watch me.

Person: Why are you stereotyping. What if the body doesn’t want trucks, what if he wants to be a fairy.

Person: being ace is basically just eww no but like forever.

Person: Stop trying to science your way out of being wrong.

Person: even if you did ask me out I’d still say no so then you’d even be rejected by a trash can

Person 1: you can’t read cheese color. Person 2: yellow?

Person 1: Think about  it like you’re brown Person 2: She is brown Person 1: Then act like it

Person: You’re not an ugly frog, you’re a beautiful human being. Person: I am. Very very dumb. And also. Bisexual.

Person: I was thinking of something smart but then I forgot what it was.

Person: I want to skip the crush phase and just make out with someone.

Person 1: The only way to get into the Holland family is to marry in through Paddy. Person 2: (Person 1’s name) this isn’t the royal family.

Person: Omigod you looked like the human version of squid ward.

Person: I want to be smart. Where can I learn smart stuff?

Person: But plant the seed and smoke the weed and chop the cane.

Peeeson 1: that is the definition of meter? Person 2: about 3 feet. Person 1: okay thanks America

Person 1: who’s Tom Holland? Person 2: Spider-Man you uncultured swine!!

Person: I am not a children

Person: Ohh dang yeah forgot chickens existed for a while

Person: Hey! Don’t narrate my water!

Person: I don’t read water.

Person: Think of it as a relationship. If you and your ex break up they are salty but you profit because you wanted to end it but if you end it weak, then y’all will argue back and forth and get nowhere with ending it while still exchanging insults.

Person: You know those really sexual mattress adverts?

Person: Oh please, you have the sexual appeal of an easy bake oven.

Person 1: weed is a gate way drug Person 2: YOURE A GATEWAY DRUG!

Person: (first, middle, last name), I love you to the end of the earth. But you are a daft child.

Person 1: She’s like that type of girl. She’s the long paragraph white girl. Person 2: Well that’s a niche if I’ve even seen one.

Person 1: swing you two fight is like watching two ants fight. Person 2: you friking piece of bacteria!

Person: I’m just an intellectual.

Person: I will murder your face off.

Person: that’s like a kilometer tall.

Person: It’s weird when I pet you horizontally.

Person: to be honest I thought those were rocks in a jar for the longest time. Turns out they weren’t.

Person: does she have a brother or gay tendencies

Person: I’m going to slap your hand like it’s a fricking spider.

Person: I like your face better blurry.

Person: every night at about midnight someone starts googling astrology

Person: I will kick you. I will murder your soul.

Person 1: I’m just going to marry a millionaire. Person 2: Where are you gunna finds a millionaire in this economy?

Person: Welcome to my tea party, there isn’t any tea to drink, but we have a lot of it to spill.

Person: Yah, it was something about sex or something.

Person: You’re all uncultured swines.

Person: I’m about as straight as a sine curve.

Person 1: They’re not Oreo’s you dumb head Person 2: I know that dumber head. Person 3 :Shut up dumbest heads

Person: As an ex foetus i can say with authority that if my mother had aborted me i wouldn't have known nor would i have given a fuck

Person: I’ve just accepted I’m going to fail this test. I’ve gone through the 5 stages of grief already.

Person: Yes I’m blind that’s why I need glasses fool.

Person: what the fork do you want you little son of a biscuit.

Person: Anyway now I’m taking Tylenol PM and I’m going to actually sleep tonight that’ll be fun.

Person: I need all the hoodies. ALL OF THEM.

[petertingle-yipyip]

Tension-Kol Mikaelson ft. Kai Parker

//Requested: Can u do one where Kol goes back to Mystic Falls to get the reader back, and finds out from the Salvatore's that Kai has become obsessed with her? And he becomes jealous and angry, and tries to talk her into leaving with him to New Orleans? And also, Kai constantly gets in the way to try and get the reader's love. // //Requested:  can you make a imagine with a kol mikaelson jealous / possessive ? fluff or smutt , please 💜//

//Warnings: Violence, language, fluff/angst cuz im an angsty teen idk. Pairings: Kol x reader. Kai x reader Tag List @akshi8278 @simonsaysyasss //

“What do you mean he’s back, Stefan?” You asked as you lounged on the couch in the Salvatore’s front room. “The whole family went back to New Orleans years ago.”

“I’m telling you, Y/N. He’s back. I saw him at the Grill this morning.” Stefan confirmed.

You groaned and threw your head back, staring at the ceiling and the Heavens above. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Part of you had always hoped Kol would come back to Mystic Falls. Part of you had always missed him. But the rest of you knew it would only be trouble. But everyone knows how much you loved him. Could you say that you were over it when you’re face to face with him? You weren’t so sure.

You let him go without question because you knew his family was important to him. They may hate each other at points but for the most part, Kol needed his siblings. They loved him. And sure, he might be willing to be selfish every now and then but he also knew he deserved to be happy. Wherever that was.

Once that pain had subsided, you did wish he would come back. You had given so much to him over the years, and when he left, he took that with him. You wished you could at least hear from him again. But now that he was back, you wished you had some warning.

In the time without Kol, you had to figure out who you were again. Being with someone so wholly, you forget who you were before them. It was scary rediscovering who you are and how you changed. Luckily, you didn’t have to do it all alone. You had the Salvatores, who were like your brothers, and surprisingly, you had Kai.

Kai Parker was a mess. He knew it. You knew it. It’d be easier to think of who didn’t know it. Upon his escape from the prison world, you ended up on babysitting duty and within that time, Kai developed a borderline obsession with you. He called you all the time, showed up on your doorstep, and just happened to be in the same place you were. It was endearing at first but then it became a bit concerning.

He admitted he was ‘intrigued’ by you and after his merge with Luke, he discovered it was more romantic than that. Admittedly, you let things with Kai play out on their own since you were too concerned with your own well-being.

A few days after Stefan’s warning, you saw him. He was as beautiful and magnetizing as ever. Luckily, he hadn’t noticed you so you were able to sneak around him to the other side of the bar at the Grill, where you were greeted by who seemed to be the only human left in Mystic Falls, Matt Donovan.

“Hey.” He smiled. “What can I get you?”

“Just a cola, please.” You smiled and he nodded before busying himself with your order.

“So, how long were you going to avoid me?” A voice said at your side and you rolled your eyes, knowing it was only a matter of time before he found you.

“Honestly Kai, I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with you right now.” You sighed as Matt placed your soda in front of you. “There’s too much going on.”

“Right... Cause Kol is back, huh?” He said plainly.

“Greetings from the dead.” Another voice interrupted and your grip on your glass tightened slightly. “So, who fancies a drink?”

“Hey, it’s alright. I don’t mind competition.” Kai said with a chuckle when you quietly sipped your soda.

“Who says it’s a competition, Mate?” Kol said with a dry chuckle. “Hello, Darling.” He directed at you when you didn’t say anything to him.

You raised your hand, two fingers slightly raised in greeting, without turning to face him. You knew if you looked into his eyes, you’d be putty in his hands, as you always had been. And of course he knew it. He placed his hands on your shoulder, leaning down to whisper in your ear. Kai jumped in before he could.

“Are we telling secrets?” Kai whispered loudly, causing you to stifle a giggle and nearly choke on your drink.

“None that concern you, thanks.” Kol said bitterly.

“Be nice, Kol.” You sighed, turning your head towards Kai, catching a glimpse of Kol out the corner of your eye. “He’s been good to me these past few weeks.”

“Really, now?” Kol laughed, taking one hand off your shoulders.

“Better than you’ve been to her.” Kai countered.

“Want to say that again?” Kol chuckled dryly.

“Gladly.” Kai shrugged with an amused smile.

“Come on, Kai.” You said, dropping a ten on the counter top and taking Kai’s hand in yours. “Kol’s just passing through anyways, right?” You glanced at Kol.

He stood at you with a clenched jaw, arms crossed over his chest. He lifted his eyebrows in challenge, as if to ask if you knew what you were doing. You shot him a wink and left with Kai.

Later that week, they both found you again. You were walking the halls of the high school, waiting for Stefan to finish football practice. Leave it to Stefan to get roped into high school antics again.

“Well, if isn’t my favorite vampire.” Kai said with a smile.

“Why am I not surprised?” You sighed in amusement. “Nice to see you again.”

“Always nice to see you, Y/N.” He winked, linking arms with you and leading you around the school. “So what’s up with Kol?”

“That’s complicated.” You shrugged. “I loved him. He left. Now he’s back and I don’t know how I feel.”

“I came back for a reason, Y/N.” Kol’s voice came from behind you.

“Yeah, well when it takes you this long to come back, maybe it’s not worth it.” You countered, stopping your steps. Kai came around and stood in 

front of you, watching Kol over your shoulder.

“Did you ever think that maybe I couldn’t come back?” Kol argued.

“If it mattered that much to you, you would’ve found a way back. You could’ve at least called. Wrote a damn letter or something.” You sighed.

“Please, Y/N.. I came back for you. I love y-” Kol tried.

“No. You don’t get to ghost me for years on end and show up here like nothing happened.” You spun on your heel to face him. “You meant the world to me, Kol. I would’ve moved mountains, split oceans, and calmed storms if you had asked me to. I would’ve given my life for yours in a second, and you left. I get that I let you leave, but you didn’t even ask if I wanted to go with you.”

“Let me explain, please.” Kol pleaded.

“No, I think it’s time for you to go.” Kai defended you, stepping around you to block you from view.

“Kai, don’t.” You said softly, putting a hand on his arm.

“I’d listen to Y/N.” Kol said calmly. “You wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“I think you’d be surprised.” Kai retorted.

“Alright, just stop!” You exclaimed, pushing past the boys. “You’re acting like overly hormonal teenagers, acting like I’m some prize. I’m not something to be won in a pissing contest!”

You stormed out of the school. As you left, you messaged Stefan and told him you had to leave. You entered the Salvatore house and made you way to your room, ignoring Damon and Elena’s questions.You locked yourself in your room for the next week. You came out only for a snack and you took it back to your room with you. Kai and Kol had called a thousand times each, with twice as messages texts to go with it. Some were apologies. Some wanted to set up something so you could talk. Some were asking how you were. A couple were just random updates on their lives.

“You’re obsessed with her! You don’t care about her.” You heard Damon say from the other side of your door.

“She’s probably the only person I care about.” Kai countered.

“Oh, come on!” Damon argued. “You’re a sociopath, Kai. You don’t care about anything.”

“I think that’s a stretch coming from you, Damon, don’t you think?” Kol interjected.

“Why are you still here?” Kai asked.

“She’s the only reason you’re still alive. You do realize that, don’t you?” Kol threatened.

“If she hasn’t answered either of you by now, she might not answer either of you ever again.” Damon said, his voice fading as if he was walking away. “Think about that.”

“She was fine until you came back. You can’t just stay gone, can you?” Kai said in annoyance.

You sighed, sitting up in your bed and tilting your head to hear what the boys were saying a little bit better. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to either of them again. It was more that you didn’t want to choose between them. As annoying and obsessive as Kai was towards you, he was there for you. You got used to having him around, for better or for worse. But Kol was Kol. You had spent so much time wanting him back that the second you saw him, a fire reignited in your heart.

“And you can’t just mind your business. Looks like we’re both overstepping then, hmm?” Kol pressed. “Besides, I’m going to ask her to come to New Orleans with me so we won’t have to be apart anymore.”

“Mikaelsons are all the same.” Kai snapped. “All you do is take and take and take until there’s nothing left for someone to give to you and then what? And then you disappear without a trace until you need some sort of validation.”

“You don’t know me or my family!” Kol defended. “Who do you think you are, talking to me as if you’re my better, or even my equal? Do you even know what she really wants?”

“She wants someone who is going to actually be there and watch out for her. And not just when it’s convenient.”

“That’s rich coming from you.” Kol laughed. “Weren’t you in a prison world most of your life?”

And with that sentence, Kol went flying through your doorway, knocking your door off it’s hinges. You gasped audibly and pulled your legs onto the bed to avoid any lose splinters.“Kai, what the hell?” You yelled.

Before you could get any sort of an answer, Kol and Kai were locked in a fist fight. Fists and bodies were being thrown as the two scuffled across the floor. Blood splattered on them and on various spots around your room.“Enough!” You yelled, making your way to get between the boys. You managed to shove your arms between their chests and using your elbows, you pushed them apart. You managed to keep them at arms length on either side. Kol on your left and Kai on your right.

They both wore proud smirks, as if they had been waiting to throw a punch or two at each other their whole lives. It was impossible to decipher what blood belonged to either one of them but in that moment, you didn’t quite care. You were fed up with their conflicting agendas.“I hope you don’t think beating the shit out of each other is going to convince me to pick either of you over the other.” You said after a long silence, finally breaking the stare down they were having.

“Y/N...” Kol said softly, suddenly forgetting about the third person in the room.“I thought about you everyday. I wanted to come back for you, I swear to God.”

“So why didn’t you then?” You asked, a weight lifting off your chest as you asked that simple question that had been nagging the back of your mind since he showed up again.

“I was afraid that you would hate me, but it turns out that the longer I stayed away, the worse I made things.”

“You can’t really believe this, Y/N.” Kai groaned from the other side.

“Kai, you don’t know him. You don’t know what we had.” You countered kindly.

“I know that he doesn’t deserve you.” Kai desperately argued.

“And you think you do?” You laughed a little. “Kai, you don’t know anything about me. You’ve been by my side but you don’t love me.”

“I do. I do love you. I do. I do.” He tried to assure you. 

“No, you don’t.” You shook your head, speaking softly to try to avoid a meltdown. “You’re infatuated, obsessed with me even. This isn’t love. Trust me. We’re friends, for sure. And you’re very important to my life but you don’t love me.”

Slowly, you took your hand away from Kol and moved closer to Kai. He stood frozen, staring and seemingly trying to make sense of what you had just told him. You carefully put your arms around him in a gentle hug. You held him for a moment, waiting for him to react to your embrace. To your surprise, he hugged you back.

“You have to let me make my own choices, Kai.” You said against his shoulder.

“Maybe you’re right.” He said with a small nod when he pulled away. “I’ll see you around, Y/N/N.” He patted your arm before walking by and towards the door. He looked back once to add a comment for Kol. “You still don’t deserve her, but that’s her call to make. Don't make her regret it, Kol. Or I'll make you regret it.”

And with that, Kai had left the building. Now, it was only you and Kol in the room.“He’s right...” Kol mumbled.

“Maybe he is. But that’s my call to make.” You answered. You went and sat down on your bed, dropping your hands into your folded lap. Kol soon joined you, leaving space between you two.

“Y/N-” He tried before you interjected.

“No. You’re going to listen right now.” You shook your head. “I gave up so much so early for you. And we were great. Everything I put in, you put in too. And then suddenly you needed space. And I gave it to you. I gave it to you because it was for your family. But you couldn’t even write? Couldn’t call? I heard from Klaus all the time. But not even once from you. How am I supposed to have hope when you were practically dead to me?”

“I know. I know did wrong by you, Y/N, but if you give me this last chance, I can promise that I’ll never hurt you like that again. I’ll never leave your side. I’ll never do anything to break your trust or your heart. You are all that matters to me, all that ever mattered. When I left with my siblings, I should’ve gone with you as well. I never should’ve turned my back on you. But I did. I was stupid. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Not after one apology.” You said honestly. “If you really want me back, you’ll have to prove it. And you’ll have to prove it here, in Mystic Falls. With Kai and Stefan and Damon and Elena and Bonnie and Caroline and everyone around.”

“So there’s a chance for us still?” He asked, a hopeful smile tugging the corners of his mouth up.

“Yeah, I guess there is still a chance for us.”

"That's all I can ask for, Y/N." He said proudly, gently placing a hand over yours. "I've missed you."

"Yeah, yeah." You smiled, nudging him with your shoulder.

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 4

okaaay so this is the final part of this mini-series, i hope you enjoyed it! hopefully i’ll come with the next part of boundaries very soon, im working on it, promise! take care xx

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

masterlist

I keep my word. I try my best to forget about all my worries and just… chill. I spend some quality time with my family in the remaining time of the year. I mostly just help Mom with everything around the house, I go grocery shopping with Dad on the evenings and I go ice-skating with Eric once. My nerves calm down, I don’t think too much about Shawn. We keep in touch in text though, I ask him if Maddi can come along and he assures I can bring anyone I would like.

Maddi returns on the 30th and I go back to the apartment that day too. I say goodbye to everyone at home and promise to visit sometime in January as well. Maddi is already there when I arrive, her suitcase is wide open in the middle of the living room.

“Hey!” she greets me with a wide smile when she walks out of her room. We exchange a quick hug before I bring everything into my room and just leave the bags on the floor. “So, are you excited?”

“Um, a bit, but it’s fine,” I shrug.

“Cool, I’m happy you are not stressing about spending New Year’s Eve with your future boyfriend.”

I roll my eyes at her, but she just giggles to herself poking my side gently. “Okay, I promise I won’t nag you about it, let’s just have a great time tomorrow.”

“That’s a plan,” I nod agreeing.

 We sleep until noon the next day knowing we wouldn’t be getting any sleep on the last night of the year. Getting ready with Maddi is like one big party. She has a playlist she always puts on, it’s full of jumpy, dynamic songs that are perfect to get you in the mood. She does my makeup using her magic skills and I end up with the most dramatic and perfect cat-eye I’ve ever seen. While she does her own I curl some light waves into my hair leaving it less bold, I definitely don’t want to look ridiculous with a too flashy look.

It’s past five when we get to the outfit part and by the time we are ready it’s surely time to leave. Shawn sent me the address earlier and it’s almost as far from our place as my home. So dressed in our partly fancy, partly cozy outfits we pile up into my car and leave.

I’m driving and Maddi is in charge of the music from my phone, so when I get a text she sees it before me.

“Oh, Popstar just texted!” She sings happily and I glance to her for a moment. “Can I open it?”

“Yeah, read it to me would you?”

“Okay, it says… Hey, just wanted to make sure you are still coming. You can park in the garage, can’t wait to see you. Ah, he is such a cutie!” She grunts in excitement but I just chuckle.

“Charlie, why are you so sceptic about him?” Twisting her body she looks at me questioning. I’m glad I have to focus on the road so I don’t have to look her in the eyes.

“I’m not sceptic,” I object, but I wouldn’t be able to say what I’m really doing.

“You are sabotaging yourself and I’m not a fan of it,” she continues. “I know Dylan screwed you over, but it has been years. Now this handsome, nice, successful Adonis is basically running after you, but I feel like you are ready to shut the door on him. Promise me you’ll be open tonight. Just go with the flow, let him charm you and let yourself fall for him a bit.”

I keep my mouth shut as a painful feeling wraps around my body, pulling me into my deep anxiety.

“But if I let myself fall for him a bit, I will fall hard. And I won’t be able to recover.”

“Recover from what? Charlie, if this guy screws you over I’m gonna do your laundry until one of us moves. I’m a hundred percent sure he is pure and perfect and I haven’t even met him!”

I don’t say anything, just keep my eyes on the road, escaping Maddi’s examining gaze.

“Charlie?” she calls out.

“What?” I snap letting out a tired sigh.

“Promise me! Please!”

“Okay, I promise. I promise that I will let him charm me,” I say grudgingly earning a round of applause from her.

Not that he hasn’t already charmed me, I think to myself, but decide to keep this small little detail to myself.

  Shawn’s place is… amazing, but I don’t know what I was expecting, he has the money to have a home like in a catalogue. It’s modern, has a lot of rooms, a huge kitchen and his TV could fit our TV in it like ten times. And the view is the most amazing thing about the whole place. I can clearly see the CN Tower through the window and there is a nice and comfy sitting area right at the window. I imagine him sitting there in the night, watching the lights of Toronto and playing the guitar.

I don’t actually meet Shawn in the first twenty minutes, but I do see some people from my high school and it’s making me feel weird at first. My high school years weren’t the best and because of Dylan I was quite a controversial person. Half of the people hated me for dating him and then the other half tried to be friends with me so they could get to Dylan, but since Dylan was such an asshole I never really made friends with anyone. Now they are weirdly staring at me from the distance, only a few of them actually dare to come up to me.

Maddi is having a blast, but I’m not even surprised. She has always been great at making friends, her nature is just simply so easy-going and open, she can charm anyone in a minute. We are chatting with a guy who graduated a year before me, I think his name is Chris, when I go to get a drink and actually look for Shawn. I make my way into the spacious kitchen that is filled with people, I look around but I don’t see him anywhere. I lean against the counter and pulling my phone out of my pocket I start typing a message to him, but I don’t get to finish it.

“Well, hello there, Charlie!”

Glancing up I find a smiley Shawn right in front of me, a Corona in his hand, his eyes beaming at me. I quickly forget about the message and curl my arms around his neck pulling him into a hug.

“Hey! I thought you are not even here!” I giggle sliding my phone into my back pocket and turning all my attention to him. He is looking amazing, as always wearing a khaki long sleeved shirt with black skinny jeans, his curls are messily framing his face and for a moment I feel like I need to run my fingers through them, but I control myself.

“Sorry, I’ve been all around the place.”

“It’s fine, you are the host,” I smile at him.

To his suggestion we take a shot as a welcome drink and then he hands me a beer just to start my evening properly. We stay in the corner of the kitchen talking, but mainly it’s just me listening to him and getting lost in his features.

I completely forget about Maddi and the drink I promised to get her and only remember it when she shows up in the kitchen. Her face is a bit upset at first but the moment she lays her eyes on the tall guy next to me she forgets about that drink completely.

“Hey there!” she chirps smiling, eyeing Shawn from head to toe.

“Um, Shawn this is my roomie, Maddi. Maddi this is-“

“Shawn Mendes,” she chimes in holding out a hand for him that he takes grinning.

“Nice to meet you, Maddi. I hope you are having a good time,” Shawn says handing her a beer as well which she takes gladly.

“It’s nice, you got an amazing place gotta admit.”

“Thank you. Though I’m not here that much.”

“I can housesit for you sometime. Anyway, I heard a lot about you lately.” Her eyes turn to me and I immediately feel myself blushing. She is not gonna bust my crush on him, right?

“Really?” Shawn’s eyebrows raise and he glances at me playfully.

“You know, I told her about our stressing reuniting,” I chuckle nervously and think about having another shot to make my anxiety go away. I’m truly fearing that Maddi will say something awkward in front of him and I really don’t want that.

“It was… surprising, yeah,” he chuckles nodding his head, causing a curl of hair to fall to his forehead. My eyes follow the shape of it until he combs it back with his fingers and catches me staring. I quickly turn away feeling my cheeks turn even redder than before, but luckily he doesn’t mention it.

“Mhm, and I heard about other stuff too,” she adds with a knowing look and God, I just want her to stop talking even though I love her to death. Shawn’s eyes shift between us as I dart her a deathly stare and she finally gives in. “Alright, I’ll look for that cute guy I’ve been eyeing, you two have fun. Charlie, text me if you need me,” she shrugs already turning away to search the place for the guy.

Shawn mumbles a bye to her before she disappears and we are alone, well, as much as you can be alone in a crowded apartment.

We stay in the kitchen, but privacy is not really a thing when you are hosting a party. People keep coming up to Shawn and being the sweet person that he is he doesn’t turn anyone down, but because of this I feel like I’m keeping him up. After all, I’m also just a guest and I shouldn’t own him from all his friends.

When he is talking to this guy he used to work with I decide it’s better if I look for Maddi and let him do his business for a while, hoping to get back to him around midnight, which is only an hour away. I grab my drink, a vodka soda he made for me and with an excusing smile I’m about to leave the conversation I wasn’t even part of, but his hand finds my wrist and he pulls me back. The force of the pull smacks me against his body a bit, giving him the chance to put his arm around my waist and giving it a gentle squeeze and honest to God, this is the smoothest move I’ve ever seen.

I’m blushing like a school girl, standing close to him with his arm around my waist and my smile is so wide I probably look like a fool. He keeps me by his side until the guy leaves and his hand doesn’t move even after that. Not like I would want it to, or like I would want to leave him, I’m feeling better than ever with him and at first I thought it’s just the alcohol, but I’m barely just tipsy, it’s all him.

Not much before midnight I excuse myself to the bathroom. We are sitting on his couch and he unwillingly but takes his hand off my waist so I can stand up, but before I could slip out of his hold he grabs my wrist and holds me back.

“You’re coming back, right? We only have twenty minutes until midnight.” His eyes are fixed on my face and I smile at him kindly as I place my free hand on his on my wrist and give it a squeeze.

“I’m coming back,” I tell him and he finally lets go of me.

There are two people waiting for the bathroom so I stand in line patiently. I keep checking the time making sure I don’t run out of it. I’m excited for midnight and I can’t even lie, I’m hoping Shawn feels the same. From the last few hours I’m guessing he is, but first I have to make sure to be there when the clock hits midnight.

When I finally finish my business I only have five minutes left. I make my way back to the living area looking for Shawn. Soon I spot him on the couch, almost where I left him and a smile spreads across my lips, but as I’m approaching it soon fades away when I see that he is not alone, and I know exactly who is sitting next to him, laughing along with him on something.

Lauren seems comfortable next to him, her long legs are crossed and her whole body is tilting in his direction. I remember what Shawn told me about their relationship, that he only dated her just to distract him, but seeing them so close and smiley is more painful that I would have expected it.

Suddenly I feel like I don’t belong here. Looking around I see all these people I used to see every day but I don’t even know them, and maybe I don’t know Shawn at all either.

The guests start buzzing as everyone realizes how close midnight is. The excitement is rising and everyone is finding the person they want to celebrate with while I push my way through them and with a glass of champagne someone hands me I exit to the balcony seeking some privacy.

As the glass door shuts behind me the chattering and music fades and the cold Toronto air hugs me around. The lights are still breath-taking, I step to the railing and stare at the CN Tower in the distance. I wrap my arms around my body trying to keep my heat, but it’s useless, though I don’t want to go inside just yet. Maybe I’ll just freeze to death here until Maddi finds me and we go home. Standing there I contemplate on everything that has happened to me in the past years. Seeing Shawn with Lauren really hit me hard, I guess I should have just listened to my brain. Maybe I’m upset because I feel like he lied to me when he said his relationship with Lauren was nothing. Maybe he said the truth but he has been rekindling it lately and it is something to him now. I never really knew Shawn and there is a chance I read the signs incorrectly, maybe he has been just extremely friendly all along. After all, he himself said that he is over his crush on me, I shouldn’t have let Maddi make me believe there could be something between us.

I can hear as the people start the countdown inside and I bring my glass to my mouth, getting ready to start the new year with the champagne, totally alone.

“Four!... Three!... Two!... One! Happy New Year!” Everyone chants inside as screaming and laughter follows the wishes.

I take a sip from my drink and just when I’m about to turn around and go back to escape the cold I hear he door opening and closing, then a familiar voice speaks up.

“You said you’d come back.”

When I turn around Shawn is standing there, his hands are in his pocket and he doesn’t seem too happy. I’m lacking the right words, I’m not sure why he is standing here, he should be making out with Lauren on the couch.

“I um… I just wanted some fresh air,” I say not really sure about what should be said. He walks closer and stops two steps away from me. He is so tall, but his features still amaze me even in the dim lighting. His silhouette is shining as the light is coming from behind.

“At midnight? Who wants to be alone at midnight?” he shakes his head with a confused chuckle. I just shrug my shoulder. No one wants to be alone at midnight, and that includes me as well.

“Charlie I-“ he starts but then just ends it with a sigh as his eyes roam around the city skyline before they return to me.  “I was hoping to celebrate the New Year with you,” he then says.

“Me? Why not Lauren?” I ask before I could think twice. He furrows his eyebrows.

“Lauren? What are yo- Charlie, you saw me with her and came out here to be alone at midnight?”

“No?” I say severely ashamed of this fact. It sounds dumb now that I heard it from him.

“She just came up to me while you were alone, but left before midnight to be with her boyfriend. Because she has one and she wants nothing from me, we’ve been friends since we broke up.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Shawn.”

“Yes I do. Because…” He pulls his hands out of his pockets and reaches for my free hand and takes it between his warm palms. I look down at our hands and up at his face as he takes a step closer to me. “Because I don’t want you to think I’m into anyone. Look, I’m terrible with talking about my feelings, I only write songs about them, but I can’t just start singing all the time,” he chuckles and it makes me smile too. My heart is pounding against my ribcage as I’m waiting for him to continue. “Remember when I told you I was over my crush on you?” he asks.

“Yes,” I nod shortly.

“I lied,” he straight up says making my suck my breath in. “Charlie, I still have the biggest crush on you. When you walking into our house at Christmas I knew I was screwed because I felt just the same as in high school even though I really thought I was over it. And then it just got worse because we started hanging out and you are such a sweet soul and so kind. By the end of our little nostalgia walk I was… head over heels in love with you again, or maybe I’ve always been, I don’t know. But what I know is that I really wanted to be with you midnight because I’ve been building up my courage to kiss you and you just ruined my whole plan,” he chuckles nervously and I can’t help but laugh with him. He really did just turn everything around in a few minutes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your plan,” I finally tell him earning a boyish smile that looks so good on him, I could just kiss him right away, but I give him the opportunity to take that first step himself.

“It’s alright. But I guess you owe me something now.” “Oh really?” I giggle biting into my bottom lip and he moans painfully.

“Oh my God, Charlie, stop biting your lip! It’s making me crazy, for real.”

“Sorry!” I laugh but when his large hands slide to my jaw and tilt my head upwards I immediately stop. He leans in, but stops right before our lips could meet.

He doesn’t say anything, just examines my face and I’m just about to ask him what’s wrong when he finally kisses me. I melt into his hands, his lips fit mine perfectly as they are moving against them slowly. I bring both of my hands to his wrists, wrapping my free one around his and because I’m still holding the champagne in my hands I can only brush my knuckles to his skin with my other hand. He is taking it slow, lazily nibbling on my bottom lip, taking his time savoring me and I’m perfectly fine with it. Moments pass by and we part when I jump from someone screaming inside. His face is still just a few inches away from me, his warm palms are on my cheeks.

“Why did you stop before it?” I question curiously.

“Because I let my high school self admire the moment he has been longing after since day one.”

His words melt me and instead of saying anything I just pull his head down and kiss him again. And again, and again…

  My fingers are drumming against the wheel as I’m rolling in the traffic, singing along the song blasting through my car’s speakers.

“Be my summer in a winter day love…”

The sun is beaming which is odd in the middle of February in Toronto, but I’m not complaining. The warm rays are caressing my skin and the smile on my face is wider than ever. As I reach my old neighborhood I let out a satisfied sigh. I park down on our driveway and grabbing my bag from the car I head to the front door.

“Hello! I’m home!” I sing loudly when I walk into the house. I spot dad on the couch, probably watching a documentary. He smiles at me widely as he walks over and hugs me.

“Hey Chipmunk, how are you?” he asks walking back to the couch.

“Everything is fine,” I smile. I head to the kitchen and find Mom at the stove and I can smell the chili from the doorway.

“Hey! Are you hungry? It’s almost done,” she says caressing my face when I stop next to her.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Charlie!” Erik barks when he walks into the kitchen through the backdoor. We exchange a highfive and he immediately tries to sneak a spoonful of the chili, but Mom quickly smacks his hand away from the pot. “When do you want to leave?”

“Leave?” Mom asks lifting his head. “She just got here!”

“Not leave leave, we are going over to the Mendes house,” I explain and Mom’s smile immediately grows wide.

“Is Shawn back in town? Why don’t you invite him over for dinner?”

“Because we have dinner plans,” I chuckle at her enthusiasm. Her disappointment amuses me, she is really fond of the whole Mendes family.

First Aaliyah made my brother fall in love and become a more decent person we’ve ever thought he would turn out to be. Then dinner at their house at Christmas was nice, she found so much in common with Karen, Eric told me they met up twice since then. And the latest news of me and Shawn getting together threw her over the edge. When I told her a few weeks ago I thought she would start crying over the phone.

“I told you! I told you he would be great for you!” she told me with joy-filled voice and I just rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right.

Things has been going better than ever. New Year’s Eve changed everything, I went to Shawn’s place single but left taken by none other than one of the most famous singers in the world. To be honest I had my doubts and fears, but it turns out Shawn and I can make things work easier than I thought. We had our first official date two days after the party and had several since then, but we agreed on taking it slow. Meeting again was quite sudden and we have a lot to adjust in this new situation. He left Toronto two weeks ago and I haven’t seen him since then meaning we spent Valentine’s Day apart and this is why we are holding our own V-Day now. It’s an understatement to say that I’m excited to see him again, but spending time apart was actually kind of useful, because I started to get used to the fact that we can never be like other couples, his work will take him away a lot and until I finish school I can’t always go with him.

“Okay, but we have to have dinner together sometime, like an official thing,” Mom says bringing me back from my thoughts that are already a few streets away.

“It’s not like you haven’t met him,” I point it out but she shoots me a look.

“Yes, but you weren’t dating him then. I haven’t seen him since Christmas and I would love to have him over for dinner.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to him about it,” I sigh giving in knowing she won’t stop nagging me about it.

Eric and I leave soon to meet our spouses at the Mendes residency. I have never thought I would ever be going to my boyfriend’s house with my brother, or date my brother’s girlfriend’s brother. Or that I would date a famous person. Of course, Shawn is not like a celebrity for me, he is an old friend, someone I’ve known in the past, someone who I’m happy I met again.

“So… How are things with Shawn?” Eric asks breaking the silence between us as we are walking down the empty streets of our neighborhood.

“Um, good! I have to get used to a lot of things, but it’s going great.”

“Charlie, I have to tell you something,” he then sighs nervously making me look at him suspiciously.

“What?” In the blink of an eye millions of theories run through my mind about what he could be hiding, neither of them seems too great so my anxiety is slowly creeping its way up on my spine.

“You remember when I said I didn’t think you’d care about the whole Shawn is Aaliyah’s brother thing?”

“Yeah?!”

“Well, that wasn’t true.”

“Eric, what did you do?” I gasp completely blown.

“It’s not that big of a thing! But… Aaliyah might have known about his crush on you and she might have told me about it. The dinner was about to happen at another time but we convinced everyone it’s better if you and Shawn are there too, this is why it was held at Christmas, because that was the only date when both of you were home.”

“Eric! I asked you specifically about this and you acted like you knew nothing!” I gasp in total disbelief how my little brother and his girlfriend just played me.

“Don’t be mad, it all turned out well!” He laughs nervously and I guess he is right. If it wasn’t for their little plan I wouldn’t be with Shawn right now. I might have never knew how he felt in the first place.

“I’m not mad, but next time let me know when you want to set me up.” I narrow my eyes at him and he holds his hands up nodding.

“Promise!”

Arriving to the Mendes house Aaliyah welcomes us and invites in. Looking around I don’t see Manny or Karen anywhere which is odd. I thought they would enjoy an evening to themselves now that we are all going out tonight.

“They are not home,” Aaliyah tells me smiling as she is putting her coat on. “You should take your jacket off by the way,” she suggests and I look at her confused.

“Why? We are going out too.”

“No, we aren’t,” I hear Shawn’s voice coming from upstairs and a moment later he appears in a dress shirt tugged into his deep blue pants. He looks hot as always, and the smirk on his face is just irresistible.

For a moment I don’t even process what he just said, I’m more focused on him and seeing him again. When he reaches the last step he immediately wraps his arms around my waist pulling me close to him and kissing me. I cup his face in my palms as I kiss him back and savor his sweet lips. It takes a few moments for the pink cloud do disappear and then my brain finally starts functioning again.

“So what’s with us staying here?” I ask still a little dizzy from his lips. He smirks down at me pecking my nose before letting go of me.

“Come on, I’ll show you,” he smiles at me.

Aaliyah and Eric leaves and once Shawn closes the door behind them he takes my hand and walks me into the dining room where the table is beautifully set for two people, candles are lit in the middle and there are even rose petals all around the table. It’s straight out of a romantic movie and needless to say, no one has ever did such a thing for me. I turn to him in disbelief as his arms snake around my waist.

“I also cooked, it’s not the best, but I tried. Aaliyah helped a little,” he admits and I see his cheeks turn rosy.

“I’m sure it’s amazing,” I say caressing his cheeks.

As I look in his eyes for a moment I go totally speechless. I think about how different things would have turned out if I wasn’t that obsessed with Dylan, noticed Shawn from the beginning. He would have been my first boyfriend, my whole high school experience would have turned out better.

But right now all these doesn’t really matter. Because I look at him and I’m just happy we happened to meet again.

“Eric told me something interesting today,” I say. He hums and kisses my forehead softly. “Did you know him and Aaliyah worked together to get us meet again?”

He freezes mid movement and looks at me with furrowed eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, apparently Aaliyah knew about your crush and they twisted everything to make Christmas happen with both of us present.”

“What? You gotta be kidding me!” he gasps with wide eyes. “How did she know about it?”

“I don’t know, but our siblings are master minds,” I chuckle and he nods laughing.

“Well, I gotta thank her though. If Christmas didn’t happen I would still be just longing after you and occasionally think about high school.”

“You were still thinking about high school because of me?” I ask raising my eyebrows at him.

“Honestly, yes. Not that much, but I still kept thinking about you. And now… I get to kiss you.” He leans closer and pecks my lips softly. “Whenever,” another kiss, “I want,” another one, “because you are my girlfriend.”

“Mhm, I am,” I grin at him in awe. “So, does this make me a celeb too?” I ask playfully, making his chuckle.

“Well, we haven’t made it official. Wanna do it now?”

“You mean you want to post a sloppy couple picture?”

“Exactly,” he nods.

“Well, I guess we have to take this step sooner or later.”

He pulls his phone out and I try to fix my hair to look presentable. Suddenly I think about the millions of people that will see this photo and I feel very insecure about my look. I keep running my fingers through my hair.

He wraps his hand around my wrist and stops me. I look at him and see a warm smile on him.

“Stop, you look amazing.”

“Uhuh, you have to say this, you are my boyfriend,” I arch an eyebrow at him, but he just rolls his eyes. “Maybe we shouldn’t take this photo, or just not post it, I don’t kno-“

His lips crash to mine stopping me from talking and honestly, this is the best tactic. I get lost in his lips, kissing him feels like paradise and I just never want to stop doing it. Though when I lean back I see that he has his phone held up.

“Shawn! Did you just sneakily took a picture?” I ask turning to the screen just to see a photo of us, very much lost in each other. I have to say it’s a good photo, my favorite of us so far. His defined jawline amazes me and I just want to turn back to him and kiss it.

“Mhmm,” he hums as he opens the photo in Instagram.

I watch him write the caption “from high school crush to girlfriend” and then tag me on the photo, but he doesn’t post it just yet. Instead he turns to me.

“I’m not posting it if you don’t want me to. I’m excited to share with the world how happy I am with you, but if you are not ready just tell me.”

I smile at him caressing his cheeks with my hands.

“Post it. I only care about your happiness.”

He smiles down at me stealing a short kiss before finally posting the picture. A wave of anxiety washes over me but then I calm down pretty quickly. I see the comments and likes flow in and for my biggest surprise it’s mostly positive. People are freaking out, but they also seem very happy to see us together. A lot of them are confused about who I am, but I’m sure they’ll do their fangirl magic and find everything out very soon.

“Well, I guess you are officially linked to me. Can’t run now,” Shawn jokes and I turn to him hugging his neck with my arms.

“I’m not a fan of running, so you are stuck with me,” I smirk at him before kissing his sweet lips. We soon forget about the chaos our photo just caused and just get lost in each other, happier than ever.

[wheelthefridge]

in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:

bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago

sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it. 

*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing

me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:

sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!

joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing 

dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2"  dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion  dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—

joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book

didi: is eating a pistachio  katherine: is that sour cream

sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles 

joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her 

katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me

katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener 

sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here

sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes

adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready

something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*

mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries 

sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars

sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day

katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much

sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly

someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids  kerry: pizza bj: vodka 

sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good

edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good. 

sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it 

bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that. 

sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now  sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again 

joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy

bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah

edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*

sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over  me: it’s barely started  sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car

bob: hi sam sam: hi bob  didi: hi sam sam: fuck off

joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker  katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen

joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off 

bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money. 

bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.  

colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying 

katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him

sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat

bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy.  bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…

bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that. 

bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well. 

dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks 

bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good. 

bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?

bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really. 

bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm

nancy: I’m sleeping

sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!

sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine

bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*

sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice 

bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda. 

bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm.  bob: *screams*

radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??

sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow. 

bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands  bj: bob has gone offline

katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters. 

bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time

bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey! 

didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you  didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here 

bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but

random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix. 

bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up 

bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*

sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??

bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor. 

bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet

bj: cheeeesy. 

laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go

caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*

bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it

caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish

bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets 

bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like

sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers. 

bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child

bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*

ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!

mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good. 

sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!

caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning

dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away 

sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*

bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun. 

bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel

bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!!  laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble. 

sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*

bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!

katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know 

bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!

bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you

bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is

guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah

sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks. 

sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it

sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up

bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven

sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one. 

bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home. 

bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice. 

me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe. 

danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?

sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one. 

me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it. 

danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up

sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home

bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine. 

bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!

danny: sorry casey  me: what for  danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah

didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die

danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!

sam: is that a chicken patty  sydney: it’s my dog

sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight

sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up

[devilishly-oya-blog]

MC’s Journal - Jaehee X MC

(READ PREVIOUS JOURNAL ENTRES)

Entre #22

I was anxious and excited to go to school this morning. After stopping by Jaehee’s house last night, I almost got no sleep. I spent almost the entire night in bed with my eyes wide open, just thinking about how today would go. But I went from happy and anxious to pissed.

Fucking pissed and annoyed.

For the first half of the day, I was just waiting for her to come up and talk to me. And Seven would not stop bugging me to just go up and talk to her, but I didn't wanna seem desperate.

“That’s too much, Seven!” “No it’s not! All you're doing is staring a friendly conversation with her. You’ll then move a bit out of each others comfort zones. You’ll stroke her arm,” Seven stroked my arm, “and then you’ll slowly lean in and whisper in her ear,” Seven leaned it, “let’s fuck in the bathroom.”

I slapped that fucker and all he could do was laugh. I slammed my locker door shut and we walked to the cafeteria together, since this was right before lunch.

So there we sat at our table, Seven eating his Honey Buddha chips and me just sitting there, drinking some crappy soda that the school’s vending machine sold.

“Maybe you can pull a Christian Grey. You’ll seduce her in a mysterious way, leaving her wanting for more. Then you’ll catch her off guard by revealing your true, sexy self.”

wtf.

“What’s my true self?”

“I don’t fucking know.” Such help.

“Fine. What’s Christian Grey’s true self?” I could care less. But Seven seemed almost ready to pull out a 12 slide powerpoint presentation to explain this to me.

“Dark, sexy, mysterious, hot as fuck, attractively kinky. Oooo the way he flipped Anastasia on that bed like she was a french fry on a stove ready to be flipped. God, I want him to do that to me.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m no Christian Grey. And Jaehee is no Anastasia Steele.” Seven’s eyes trailed behind me and he suddenly looked shocked.  

“OH! JAEHEE! WHAT A PLEASANT SURRISE!” Clearly, I’m not amused. “Haha. How funny. There’s just no chance, Seven. It’s never gonna happ-“ “Hey.”

I FELT MY TITTIES POP OUT OF MY BRA. BECAUSE SURE ENOUGH, JAEHEE KANG WAS STANDING RIGT BEHIND ME.  

“Mind if I sit here?” I couldn't come to form any fucking words. Thankfully, Seven answered for me.

“Why, of course not!”

of course. OF COURSE SHE HAD TO SIT NEXT TO ME. AS IF MY HEART WASNT ABOUT TO JUST STOP FUCKING BEATING. So, now I’m back to happy and anxious.

For the rest of lunch, I was internally freaking out. I stumbled over almost every single word that came out of my mouth. But SHE SAT WITH ME AT LUNCH. And that’s all I was waiting for.

Entre #22

BITCHBITCHBITCHBITCHBITCHBITCHBITCHBITCH. SHE ASKED FOR MY PHONE NUMBER. I WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE THE SCHOOL TO WALK HOME WITH SEVEN AND SHE CAME, OUT OF BREATH, TO ME. SHE RAN TO FIND ME.

WHEN I HEARD “can i get your phone number?” COME OUT OF HER MOUTH. UGHHHHHHHH. I WANTED TO SCREAM. FUCK I’M SO HAPPY I COULD CRY. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Entre #23

I dont know if this is real life. I DONT FUCKING KNOW. THIS WEEK HAS GONE WAYYY TOO GOOD. I’M ENJOYING IT TOO MUCH. WAYY TOO MUCH. FIRST, I LITERALLY STOP BY HER HOUSE TO RETURN HER STUFF. THEN, SHE SITS WITH ME AT LUNCH. THEN, SHE ASKS FOR MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER. THEN, IT BECOMES A HABIT FOR US TO TEXT AND SIT TOGETHER AT LUNCH EVERY DAY. AND NOW SHE HAS GOTTEN HER SCHEDULE CHANGED, IS IN MY LITERATURE CLASS, AND IS MY PARTNER FOR. PROJECT. HOW.

I’ve always hated my literature class. ALWAYS. Never liked it when I was in elementary, never liked it when I was in middle school, and even now as a high schooler, I still don't like it. So I’m just sitting in my usual seat in the back of the class next to Seven. What was I doing? I don't fucking know.

“Students, we have a student who has switched into this class! Please introduce yourself.”

Did I care? No. People switch their classes all the time.

“Hello. I’m Jaehee Kang.”

Well, I didn't care until I heard that. The rest sort of blanked out. BECAUSE JAEHEE MOTHERFUCKING KANG WAS NOW IN MY LITERATURE CLASS. I looked over at Seven. I was fucking shook.

“Well Jaehee, you can go have a seat. There’s an empty seat right next to MC over there in the back.” Jaehee looked over in my direction and we made DIRECT EYE CONTACT. She smiled at me, and as calmly as I could, I smiled back at her. As she made her way over to the seat next to me, I looked over at Seven. He was giving me a thumbs up and mouthing ‘get that pussy’.

For most of the class, I was trying not to look over to her. I felt like if I did, I wouldn't be able to get my eyes off her after.

“So since this is one of the biggest novels we will be reading this year, I will be assigning you guys a project. A pretty big project. It will be worth most of your grade in my class for this semester.” Almost everyone in the class groaned.

“I am going to be giving you guys 5 minutes to choose your partners. I’m only allowing pairs of 2, so don't try getting creative.”

Usually, picking a partner for my project was never an issue. I’d always pick Seven. As I was about to turn to Seven, I felt a tap on my shoulder. and my heart kinda stopped beating.

“Partners?” Jaehhe asked. I DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO.

“Ummm…” I looked back at Seven and he was watching. He gave me a smile and nodded his head.

“Go ahead.”

I FELT KINDA BAD. BUT I JUST SMILED AT HIM BEFORE TURNING AROUND TO JAEHEE. “Yeah. Partners.” I said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

BUT BITCH IM FREAKING OUT. OOHOHHOHOHOHHHHHH FUFUFCKCKCKCCKKK

------------

HELLO. LISTEN. WE ARE SOOOO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING LAST WEEK. BOTH CIN AND LUCYY WERE BUSY AND NOT IN THE BEST POSITION TO WRITE WITH EACH OTHER. ALSO WE SAID THAT THE CHATER WOULD BE OUT SOON. TWO WEEKS AGO. SORRY AGAIN. THE CHAPTER IS BASICALLY DONE ITS JUST THAT WE HAVE BEEN SOOO BUSY AND AGAIN NOT IN THE BEST POSITION TO WRITE TOGETHER. WE ARENT SURE IF WE WILL GET BUSIER BUT ITS A POSSIBILITY THAT WE WILL SORRRRRRYYYYY. WE PROMISE TO POST IT BEFORE SUNDAY AND IF WE DONT PLEEAASSEEE SPAM OUR INBOX WITH COMPLAINS. HOLY FUCK OK SO CIN IS PACKED THIS WEEK BUT ITS COOL WE’LL FIND A WAY TO POST IT. WE ARE SOOO SORRY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO BE VERY ACTIVE BESIDES THESE ENTRIES WHICH WERE USED TO KEEP THIS ACCOUNT ACTIVE LOL. AGAIN SORRY THIS IS MAKING ME DEPRESSED HAVE A GOOD DAY LOVES

[clearsandwicheagle-blog]

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

"Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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insurance cost?( 19 and a female, live in sf) my dad could own the car and put me as co owner so that insurance wud be lower..hmm? fuel cost? and the cost of the car( including taxes and everything else) please help!""

Is surfing without health insurance a bad idea?

I'm moving to southern California for a job soon and want to try surfing, but my health insurance won't kick in for 2 months. Aside from drowning to death, which health insurance doesn't cover anyway, are there a lot of injuries that require doctors and hospitals? Man I just get on a board and go...""

Why does the Honda Insight ('00-'05) cost so much to insure? (UK)?

Why does the 2000 - 2005 Honda Insight have group 12 insurance status in the UK?! Its such a shame, I have been looking to upgrading my small car at the moment, and have always liked the old Insight. For some strange reason it didn't ever seem to take off, and it was way ahead of its time, and is still a very good, one of the best ever mass manufactured cars for fuel consumption (may even be the best). It has a 1 litre engine, which produces just 66bhp, but is extremely efficient so achieves 83MPG and has a 0-60 time of 12.1s (top speed: 112mph). Remember group 12. Or I could pick out a Seat Toledo 2 litre Sport - produces 147bhp, 34MPG, has a 0-60 time of 9.4s (top speed: 128mph). This is a group 10. Why isn't the insight lower?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!? Any info would be great""

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

How can i get homeowners insurance if i own a rottweiler?

i currently have gieco home insurance and they said they will not cover my home if i own a pit bull, rottie or chow what i'm i supposed to do with my rottie? please help""

How can I get the other driver's insurance co. to pay the full cost of rental car?

I was hit from behind and the other driver's insurance company has accepted liability but, they only want to reimburse me about $27/day for a rental car when I'll have to pay around $50/day. They are also dictating to me some terms about the duration of the rental car period based on the number of shop hours estimated for repair. I am wondering if there is some leverage I can use to make them pay 100% of the rental car cost for a reasonable car and duration.""

Im 15 and how much am i looking forward to pay on my car insurance? The car is a 2005 chrysler 300c?

It's a black car V6 engine i live in the city it will be parked in the garage and we have a low crime rate in the city ? i would like specific answers or similar stories?

Looking for Maternity Insurance?

We're wanting to get preggers in the near future. We're trying to look at our financial options for insurance. Currently we don't have major medical insurance (I don't need any comments on this, it's not what I'm asking about). I'm hoping to get a type of maternity insurance that will cover a couple thousand dollars. We're also planning on home birthing (again, this isn't my question, so I'm not interested in opinions on this matter). Does anyone know any carriers that I could get some maternity insurance from for the states of Utah and/or New Mexico?""

In the state of california is it illegal to drive a car with out auto insurance?

In the state of california is it illegal to drive a car with out auto insurance?

Can a family friend put me on their car insurance?

So i live in the state of california. I have had my learners permit for more than six months now. I want to get my drivers license but due to the economic crisis my parents aren't able to pay every month to have me on their car insurance. A family friend has offered to put me on their car insurance, but what my parents want to know is if that is legal in the state of california or do I HAVE to be insured by my parents?""

Hi i passed my driving test 3 weeks ago on my 18th day and looking for a car which is cheap on insurance?

I have been looking at a 5 door 2003 ford fiesta but I am 6ft tall and is the fiesta seems too small for me. I have been looking at a 2005 1.6 5 door ford focus 3771 monthly premium to insure. Will my insurance be effected if i go for a 1.6 can any one help me

Who does the cheapest car insurance for 17 year old males?

I am looking to get insured on a peugeot 106 quicksilver for under 3,000 its only a 1.4 but all the company's i look at want up to 11 grand.""

Where do I buy car insurance online india?

I want to buy car insurance online.Where do i buy?

Best car insurance company to use?

I am 22 and just traded my 2003 VW beetle for a 2010 honda civic LX (which is being financed). I use 21st Century and they're going to raise my rate by a couple hundred dollars per year. I pay every 6 months. I feel like this is too much. Even though I'm not yet 25, it seems a little excessive. Are there any suggested insurance companies with a more competitive rate? BTW I'm in California if that makes a difference...""

Self Employed Health Insurance?

My father just quit his old job, he couldn't work there anymore (Too long commute and we lost a parent, so he had to stay closer home for the family) So now he is self employed. We are trying to find insurance that will cover him, 4 children, vision (we all wear glasses) + dental. Does anyone have any suggestions? (We live in PA)""

How much will 2 points effect my car insurance?

I am 17 years old. I live in New Jersey, got my license 6 months ago. I was driving through Maryland and I got a speeding citation worth two points. My parents do not know about the speeding ticket, but I already paid it. How much will it effect my Geico car insurance rates? Also, I just received the advisory notice in the mail today, called the MVC and they just said it was pretty much a piece of paper saying I got a ticket....""

""Car insurance, sports cars, young drivers?""

I'm looking into a 1996 Mitsubishi Eclipse when I turn 18 for my first car. Does anybody have any idea on how much I'm looking at insurance wise per month? Other cars I'm also looking into are Firebirds, Camaros, Eagle Talons, Mitsubishi 3000 GT Is the insurance for these cars going to be the same amount?""

What is the cheapest car insurance if you have bad credit and low income?

What to do if you can't afford car insurance

Has anyone got car insurance with the Cooperative?

what are they like?, good service etc? would you recommend""

""Im 20 years old and a full time student and work part time, if i move out, can i stay on my dad's insurance?""

Im 20 years old and a full time student and work part time, if i move out, can i stay on my dad's car and medical insurance even though i do not live at home but im under 25""

Insurance friendly car modifications?

Given the cost of insanely expensive car insurance, I have put off modifying my car for the forseeable future. However, I want to know if there are any modifications I can do that will not affect my insurance premium. For example, do I need to tell the insurance company if I respary my standard wheels in a different colour? Thanks.""

What is the basic kind of insurance required by California Law?

What kind of insurance covers something like another driver hitting your car door, and then driving off before you could get their license plate # what is comprehensive , and what is collision, ?""

How does a wrecked car loan payoff (by insurance company) affect credit score?

I have a car that I have a loan on that has been wrecked. Since the bank owns the car, I have full coverage & insurance is writing it off. They are going to cut a check to the bank for the balance due on the car. I have so far paid this loan on time; it has been rebuilding my credit. When the loan is paid off by insurance, will I get more points to my score since the loan was technically paid off early? Or will I only gain based on my status as paid ontime at this point?""

When do you get your infrant car seat base installed by the California highway patrol?

Do they check for insurance on the vehicle?

How much would a 16 year old boy pay for car insurance?

I am not 16 yet, but I want to get a Chevy Camaro. I live in PA, and am wondering how much car insurance would cost me a year with out wrecks, tickets, etc. I went to chevy.com and built my own Camaro, and it cost me about $25,000 with the specs, and colors I want.""

Does anyone know the cost of insurance for an infiniti g37 for a 18 year old boy?

Apparently, the dealer says infiniti g37 aren't technically sports cars so the insurance wouldn't be too high for my son. I'm not to sure though..can anyone clear this matter up?""

Should I buy life insurance online?

I want to buy a life insurance plan for myself, and later for my husband. I have done some research, although I must say it's all very confusing and there are zillions of options. Now that I have a better idea, however, I am wondering if buying the plans online is at all an option. Do you have an experience with it? Do you recommend it, or feel that it's completely not a good idea?""

Why are some people so adamant that having ONLY private medical insurance is best?

What do you think? This is a quote from the following article: In addition, under the settlement, Health Net agreed to halt employee bonuses that were based in part on how many rescissions they performed. And here's the article, with other reputable links inside: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/138914.php Anthem Blue Cross Announces Settlements With California Insurance Department Over Rescinded Health Insurance Policies; Health Net Announces Settlement""

Who has the lowest rate for car insurance? How much do you pay for yours?

my insurance is kicking my ***. work sucks... low pay. But I need my car for work! I need a lower rate! Who are you with and how much do you pay a month?

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

Would the insurance company find out if you modify ur engine?

im gettin an accord nd i wanna add performance to it bc i aint a ricer nd ma dad doesnt want me to nd i was wondering if the insurance company would find out by themselves if yu mod your engine and increase the rate. my insurance company is geico nd my dad pays for it so i dnt want him to be like why is the rate going up nd find out tht i added turbos nd air intakes nd ****

State Farm insurance?

I have my own insurance and it was. 230 a month now I am getting a new car and I need collusion I am getting a Honda civic sedan 2012 white can anyone tell me an estimate on how much my insurance will go up Ps the car is financed . I have State Farm, I am 20 years old I reside in ny and I have had no accident""

Should I be paying for car insurance? I don't have a car because I was in an accident.?

I was in an accident back in November and my car was totaled. The claim just closed a few days ago because they finally paid our medical bills and everything. Should we have to pay for car insurance right now? We still haven't purchased a vehicle because we didn't get much for our car. How do we handle this?

""Who has the most lenient car insurance? Husband has points on his license from speeding, need cheap coverage.?""

Who has the most lenient car insurance? Husband has points on his license from speeding, need cheap coverage.?""

How much do you think my insurance will cost for my car?

I'm 16 and a female. I'm getting my license in a few days, and my parents are going to add me on to the insurance list. We've never had any accidents, except my dad, but someone hit him on his motorcycle, it wasn't his fault. My car will probably be made around 1998-2008. We have Allstate. What's your rough estimate?""

Classic car insurance companies?

Classic car insurance companies?

Car insurance / ownership question?

Right now I live with my parents, we have 3 cars and there are 3 drivers. All of the cars are in my parents name. One of the cars is a total beater and was given to me as my own car, but we never bothered changing the ownership over because we didn't think it would live very long. Now, I'm getting married and moving in with my husband. I'd love to take 'my' car with me but to transfer it to my name would cost a fortune in repairs as it wont pass the safety as it is. It's not a bad car, but things like the parking break don't work and the suspension is awful and I know if I take it in to get the safety done they'll give me 7 days to do several thousand dollars of pointless repairs or scrap my car. My question is can I continue to drive this car while it is under my parents name? I will be living at a different adress from them also. I'm currently also under there insurance policy as a registered driver on this car. Can I continue paying the policy to continue to be an insured driver while living at a different address? If anyone's had a similar situation or is in the insurance business please let me know! I'm stressing out about potentially having to junk a car that drives perfectly fine due to politics. I live in Ontario Canada.""

What's the best deals on auto insurance?

What's the best deals on auto insurance?

What happens if you get in a accident with no insurance?

I got in an accident today. It wasn't my car it was my moms, I gave the cop my license, registration, and insurance. However, I didn't know that the insurance was lapsed. It hadn't been paid. There wasn't any damage to the lady's car, and minimal damage to mine. Me and the women were getting ready to take off, but a cop came up, and said that because it was a main road, that we needed to fill out an accident report. She isn't gonna call her insurance company, but if she does, and they find out there wasn't insurance, are there fines to pay, do they take the car? I know I'll have to pay for whatever damages she may have on her car out of my pocket.""

Is It Cheaper To Be Added As A Named Driver On My Mother's Insurance?

Hi, Ive got my test on 5th april, so i am looking to buy a cheap car soon, as expected insurance for 17 year old male is very expensive. i was wondering if anyone had a rough estimate how much my mums insurance would go up by if she added me as a named driver. she's got 21 years no claims discount and she pays about 400 a year. do i have to pay a deposit or anything? Thank you in advance for your answers :)""

How much will my insurance cost?

Hi! I'm a new driver and thinking of getting a new honda accord 2013. I'm 20 years old and I'm wondering whats my quota gonna be? thanks!

Can i extend my insurance quote?

I have a quote and it expires on the 27th this month. When i try and get another quote its 3 times as much. I would get it now but i will have 1 years ncb on the 7th of oct. If i rang them up do you think they would extend the quote expirey date? Or do u think they might accept my 11 months and 2 weeks ncb? Or even make me pay an extra 30 or so to start the insurance now then send them proof when i get the ncb

Will this effect my car insurance?

(btw if this makes any difference whatsoever, I live in the UK) So I'm soon to be a new driver and insurance for new drivers at the moment is really expensive! I'm aware of that! But my question was this: basically I'm looking to buy my first car, but the car I'm looking to buy was involved in an accident with not the current owner, but the owner before that! And I don't quite fully understand this but the accident was apparently a 'Category D' accident? So what I was wondering was, as this car has been in an accident, (but is now repaired) even though it wasn't me who had the accident, will this effect the price of my car insurance, as the car I will be driving will have been involved in an accident before, but not involving myself? Thanks guys :) xx""

Can I get liability insurance on a 2005 mazda tribute or will I have to get full coverage?

Can I get liability insurance on a 2005 mazda tribute or will I have to get full coverage?

Shouldn't Pres. Obama step up to the plate and tell them he just wants affordable insurance for all now?

Tell em to screw the lobbyists, so what if the health care lobbyists payed the House and Senate members over $500 million last year, I mean donated that much to them. They will have to wait, but people are dying now..""

""How much does car insurance usually cost for a 17 year old in Ontario, Canada?

a 17 year old brand new driver (Girl) owning her first car? (a pontiac sunfire) IN CANADA !! NOT THE US

Anyone have Mega Insurance?

It's supposed to be for the self employed. Is the high premium worth the benefits or even the coverage compared to other insurance companies out there (like e health insurance.com)

Can you drive your parents' car without insurance?

i am 16 and live in Washington and I was wondering if I had to pay my own insurance to drive their cars.

19 year old car insurance.?

My family has a 02 Honda civic that I can fix up and use I'm 19 going on 20 and I need a car to get around. I done online insurance quotes and I've been getting ridiculous quote prices for a low end 12 year old car. (200 - 300) What would be some recommendations for possible companies. And how much do you think it would be if I got on a policy with my parents.

What's the best auto insurance you can get for a female under 25?

I had Liberty Mutual. I got a low premium because of my parents but when the taxes went up they totally jacked up my premium. Plus their customer service is TERRIBLE and they're grimy. So then I went to Progressive - One lady helped me get my policy, then I called them for another reason and another rep. said I didn't even get the best quote I could've gotten. I'm kind done with these brand name insurance companies. I was looking into one called Elephant insurance but I'm not sure if it's actually any good. Does anyone know anything about them? Is there any other company I can try? I'm 20, I turn 21 next month. I've never had an accident. And I don't know what my credit score is or if I even have one yet (I'm working on it.)""

Is it possible for someone to sponsor your car insurance?

I heard you could find somebody to sponsor your car insurance and the rate will go down if the person has good credit. Is that true? and what company has lowest insurance rate for 2 way?

What is the cheapest economical car i can buy in the UK?

i want cheap insurance, tax and fuel consider that i am 18 years old dont want a box under the car""

How much would i pay for car insurance?

How much would i pay for car Insurance for cheap car that cost me honda accord 2000,I am 28 Years old, never been in any accident,I got my license 8 years ago""

What is a semiannual premium for car insurance?

My quote was: Semiannual premium: $1251 Do I pay $1251 twice a year?

Car accident now what? insurance question?

I was in my first major car accident, my car was totaled. I was waiting at the light to make a left turn, the green arrow came on and i went and some one coming from the opposite side of the lane in the opposite way ran a red light and hit me, he claims on the report he doesn't know how the accident happened. I just wanted to know what do you think will happen? A witness was talking to the cops but his information is not on my police report. It has to go through his insurance what are the odds that they will know that he was in the wrong and not me??""

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

Huson Montana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 59846

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