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#her entire concept is also <3
trappedinafantasy37 · 1 month
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You are backed into a corner, there is nowhere for you to go, except forward. Unfortunately, in front of you is a man who is intent on shoving his knife between your ribs and stealing everything from your corpse. What are you going to do? Are you going to stand there and ask yourself, "Would I be a bad person if I fought this man, maybe kill him?" or are you going to pull your own knife and fight back? Cause, I will tell you what is more than likely going to happen. Your fight-or-flight sense is going to try to override your asinine desire to have a philosophical debate with yourself, and try to get you out of the situation alive. You will instinctively and without thinking, either pull your knife and try to fight back, or you will try to run away from this man, hell, you might actually try to just hand over your wallet if it meant securing your life.
Does this scenario make sense? Does the outcome make sense? Is it reasonable, in this moment, to forego morality for your own survival? Because if it does, then try to expand this idea to understand the TWO HUNDRED YEARS of bullshit Minthara has lived through in Menzoberranzan. Every single day of her life was a nonstop survival scenario, her fight-or-flight sense was always active, and she always defaulted to fight because that was what she was good at. Her conversation about someone always trying to kill her isn't her having an over inflated sense of self-importance. She was important. Many people actually did want to kill her, and many people actually did try. For fuck's sake, she was almost assassinated when she was just a baby!
And she prevailed above it all because she didn't waste a single second of her time asking herself, "would I be a bad person for trying to survive?" No, she picked up her maces and did what she had to and guaranteed her survival and she didn't spend a single second stewing in regret. Because what good does that do her when there are still threats out there?
This is why you will never be able to make her less "evil" because she doesn't see "evil", nor does she see "good". She does not subscribe to the concept of morality. If anything, she's amoral. She sees things in terms of you either kill or you get killed. And Minthara would rather kill. A majority of the decisions that she makes is about her own survival and increasing her chances of survival. She does not waste a moment of her time thinking on the morality of her choices. This may be a little bit charged when I say this, but the consideration of morality in ones choices takes an incredible amount of privilege and safety. And, in spite the abundance of privilege Minthara had as a Baenre, concerns of morality was not one of them because she was never safe. And she has never felt safe.
When she does something that guarantees her survival, only you see it as "evil" because you haven't been conditioned for 200+ years to view survival in the same way she does and you do subscribe to morality. She does not see it as an atrocity, nor as a bad thing and you won't be able to change her mind because the two of you lived in the end, and that is what is important to her. This is also why she will stand by you when you make what you perceive to be "good" choices. She doesn't see the action as "good", but more of "this action helps us survive." She does not care about being "good", she cares about being alive.
For example, Minthara does approve of you protecting Isobel and warning her of Marcus' intentions. She approves you making a seemingly "good" decision, but not because it is morally good. Isobel is providing you and the entire gang a safe place to eat and sleep in the Shadow Lands, as well as providing you with a blessing that allows you to walk around freely within it. Protecting Isobel is practical as it guarantees your survival. She does not care that it's morally good to help Isobel, she cares that protecting Isobel means you get to keep a safe place to sleep. Not to mention, it interrupts whatever plans the Absolute may have had for Isobel and Minthara certainly does want to fuck over the Absolute.
It's also the same exact reason as to why she doesn't give a shit if you kill Isobel while playing Durge. But it does depend on why you killed her. If you tell Minthara that you killed Isobel for the thrill of it, she will be quite peeved because not only did you lose a safe place to sleep, but you introduced threats to your lives that could have been avoided all for your entertainment. Your dumb actions jeopardized your survival for no reason, and that's a big no-no for her. But, if you tell her that Isobel would have seen you as a threat eventually, then Minthara would approve of it as she perceives killing Isobel in that moment as necessary for your survival. She's only mad because you didn't tell her before hand and she wasn't prepared.
And there are plenty of other situations in which she actually does approve of you doing "good" things, as well as disapproving of you doing "evil" things. In the end, she does not nor has ever cared about the morality of your decisions. She cares on whether or not you act with your survival in mind. But if you tell her that you did something because it was the "right thing to do" she will laugh in your face because doing the "right thing" often means going out of your way and endangering yourself, risking your survival and with nothing to gain in return.
This does not mean Minthara does not change, nor cannot change. She is not a stagnant person and she is constantly adjusting herself to the situation she finds herself in. But these adjustments have nothing to do with morality, but more reorganizing her priorities and desires. There is a reason why I keep circling back to the romance in the Karlach origin because it does demonstrate that Minthara is indeed capable of changing. In this particular ending, she demonstrates that she is capable of prioritizing the life of someone else over her own desire for power. She doesn't magically become "less evil" or "more good", her priorities have merely changed and you perceive that as a change in morality because you are trying to shove her into a box that she doesn't fit in.
She chooses to make changes within herself because she is inspired by you and your actions. But she will never change to appease you or make you feel better about her lack of morality. She changes because change is necessary for survival. If you do not like her, then that is your problem, one she will not fix for you. You either learn to like her, or you can leave her alone. But she will remain as herself and she will not compromise on who she is just because you want her to. She wants you to accept her as she is, because she accepts you as you are. She will never ask you to compromise yourself for her sake, and she expects the same in return.
Minthara is one of those characters that is meant to challenge your perception of what is and isn't evil. Would I say that you are wrong for seeing her actions as evil? No, I wouldn't because I do understand why some people see her as evil. But it is wrong to say that she is evil because she wants to be or that is just who she is. Minthara just wants to live and she will do whatever she has to do to live, and she is constantly readjusting herself to fit whatever environment she is in. If that means resorting to actions that you perceive as "evil" then so be it. But she is also capable of doing actions that you may perceive as "good" because sometimes, "good" actions can be beneficial to one's survival. Minthara heavily weighs the pros and cons and each decision made available to you and she tends to go with the choice with the highest chances of survival, which more often than not are "evil" choices. This is also why it seems like Minthara has a tendency to play both sides of things and that is because she can see the survival benefit of both "good" and "evil" choices simultaneously.
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individuating · 9 months
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my #truth:
ep 1 = ep 7 (beatriceless)
ep 2 = ep 6 (furniture)
ep 3 = ep 5 (tools)
ep 4 = ep 8 (ange focus)
#.me#umineko#weird fucked up mirror structure tht barely makes sense. but i will try to explain in the tags regardless#ep 1 and 7 revolve entirely around beatrice without her actual presence#if anything in both it’s her lack of presence that sets the mystery of the episode in motion#one is the introduction to her story and the other is the conclusion of it. fairly straightforward tbh#ep 2 and ep 6 again have very obvious similarities in that they are both shkanontrice episodes#we also have the starting point and ending point of beabato’s relationship. starting with biting and killing and ending with marriage. waho#battler’s first real gameboard vs battler’s last real gameboard. i cld go on but the shkanontrice focus is probably the meat of it#ep 3 and 5’s connection is a bit looser… ep 3 is the first to introduce the braun tubes/catbox to fight using antifantasy#and ep 5 gives us the decalogue to fight using mystery. both give battler/the player tools to understand the rules of beato’s game#we also get ronove/virgilia on one hand and erika/dlanor on the other which are extensions of the tools/concepts themselves#ep 4 and 8 is self explanatory. theyre the Ange episodes and the endings of their respective arcs. both begin and end with ange’s journey#and her trying to find the truth. really theyre so similar in theme (+ content tbh) it is probably the most obvious of these#anyways. it is an actual mirror structure if you consider 4 + 8 as epilogues… <— strying to make it work.#thinking abt umineko at 8 am the grind never stops *trips falls dies
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orcelito · 1 month
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I'm at the painful "confession" scene during the kage summit arc. It really is so emotional, but also... hm.
When I was younger, like 13 or so, I was a big Sakura and Naruto shipper. They were the first pairing I read fanfic for even. And in a way, I do still enjoy the two of them together... but it's moments like these that really drive home the fact that it Doesn't really work in canon. Not the way that it's set up.
As Sakura puts it, "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! That's all you think about!"
She's told that Naruto has feelings for her and decides to use it to convince him to stop going after Sasuke. She does love him, but not in the way she's trying to confess. The love they share is one of comradery, not necessarily romantic. The love of two people who have gone through such pain together, and who have leaned on each other throughout it all. And the fact that she's turning around and saying she loves him "simply like everyone else", now... it's trivializing. And the fact that she's trying to convince him of this, the fact that she thinks she Can convince him of this, is pretty hurtful. They've come a long way from when they were kids, Naruto the goofball vying for her attention while she yelled at him for being stupid. Sakura respects Naruto so much more than before, and Naruto respects her too. So the fact that she's still doing this... She's desperate, really. She thinks the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke home is what's driving him to let himself be hurt over and over and over again in the pursuit and protection of Sasuke.
But she's wrong.
That may be part of it, but it's only part. Naruto wants Sasuke back for himself, too. He let himself be beat up to avoid selling him out. He chases after him with single minded determination. Sasuke is his entire drive to get stronger, to catch up, to bring him home. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke indeed.
As it is, Naruto knows she's lying to herself. And no matter what she says, he will keep going after Sasuke. Because that's just the person that Naruto is.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#i think. naruto and sakura could potentially work out... but probably in a poly kind of situation.#because naruto will never forget about sasuke. and tbh neither will sakura. at least in canon.#of course i think sakura would do well to end up with someone more level headed. like ino.#someone without all the Complications that those two have...#but at the same time. i still do really love the idea of two people supporting one another through thick and thin.#i like naruto and sakura as a pairing of mutual respect. which is why it doesnt truly work as it is in canon.#especially when it comes to things like the 'joke' punches. but that's Everywhere in this anime.#female characters' anger being turned into jokes. theyre 'scary' but its not Actually scary.#naruto taking punch after punch from her for being foolish. yet it's all just a joke.#tbh id want to do away with that trope entirely. sakura has a temper but she's a good person. a kind soul.#i dont like that kishimoto has her being casually abusive with one of her best friends.#yet another part of the misogynistic writing that i hate.#sure enough. as it is in canon it just doesnt work. but ykno what. 13 year old me is still here. and wants to think of a way that it Could.#all things to think about. i wonder if there is any poly fic with the 3 of them. theres Gotta be.#though that brings the question of whether it'd even fit my ideal concept of the 3 of them.#it's certainly not the popular kind of thing lol. most people pick one of the three pairings between them.#but ya kno what. ive always been a multishipper. and poly ships really enable that truth of mine.#maybe i'll look for some poly fic sometime. just to see if theres anyone doing it like id wanna see.#if it's just two guys fighting over one girl or something tho im Outta there.#and ALSO theres something to be said for sasuke and sakura's relationship when they were kids.#there was trust there. confiding. he respected her. & in the end. he thanked her for her care.#cant be Just the two of them tho. for me. bc that erases naruto's significance to them both.#it is perhaps another thing i'll want to write someday. just maybe.
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This month's bonus book is super long and it seems the reason for that is because the author spends like a paragraph doing world-building or unnecessarily over-explaining reactions between each line of dialogue -_-
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inkedhorror · 2 months
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oh when did that happen...
#THANKS GANG! i dont know when or why this happened but im glad u like my silly once in a blue moon art posts#i need to completely redo my personal tags Ugh my blog is a mess#um I want to post more art eventually but A) i havent made a solid drawing in a month and B) ivr finished writing 2 fanfics in my life Total#and they were oneshots.... For Sam & Max. looks away#executive dysfunction sux Boo i wld lovr to be able to finish writing smth else literally Ever. i have so many cool fic and au ideas#and i get so embarrassed or straight up forget abt stuff i do finish. like... shivers. Freakyverse#aka an abandoned utmv project between a friend group that kinda fell apart but Hey what can u do#namedropping varyswap simply bc i want to have it somewhere public that it does exist and im not crazy when i inevitably lose the google doc#sighs wistfully at the dozens to hundreds of google doc wips i have#i have so much i want to share but i dont even have enough written down for a full chapter of smth...#i would be fine posting abandoned wips if there was Enough for me to be satisfied with#its all messy drafts and half finished plot lines and i barely ever end up completing an entire scene#and. i dont like posting unorganized ideas in public spaces. i guess. idk#screams into a pillow#edit i have 3 finished fanfics total. wrote that 3rd one when i was 9-10. it was a utmv s/i fic abt her and her friends dying. head in hands#shoves my su fic ideas doc behind my back#so like... kicks the floor. anyone else insanely attached to concepts where characters are split into Pieces of themselves etc because#yeah im that person and i also like time travel and undead characters so you can imagine what my su ideas doc looks like rn#sorry i forgot this was a post abt how i have 150 followers#I WLD DO SOMETHING SPECIAL BUT ALAS#yall arent getting shit. Sorry. havent even gotten to the simple doodle requests in my inbox yet#love u xo#rabbit squeaks
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aq2003 · 2 years
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oh btw i get even more why brennan (like me) clocked sophomore year fabian as fucked up and sad even if some of the other pcs were like "what are you talking about dude" . it's because the basic core theses of fabian and leiland eftbk as characters are actually pretty similar
#AND matt mercer was like 'yes absolutely. my character has so many issues' meanwhile b4 lou could even say anything siobhan/adaine#went 'fabian isnt depressed his life rules.'#which like. 1) deeply incorrect statement. 2) fairly in character for adaine to say. 3) unfortunately this caused#a pretty big shift in tone w regards to how seriously fabian's arc ended up being executed#2.5) i could write a whole other post on how point 2 could be a super interesting thing to explore w adaine#she starts off so aware of there being no love from her parents towards her. so she sees love between a parent and a child#and cant conceptualize their relationship being ultimately harmful. like she learned long ago that there was no point seeking approval from#her parents meanwhile fabian made it his whole entire life's goal to do just that thing. both of them are fucked up in opposite directions.#crunchy concept yet very unexplored. and i'm not expecting this to happen in a potential s3 im just throwing ideas around like basebal#d20#eftbk#fantasy high#sorry wrote all those tags then forgot to elaborate on how fabian and leiland are similar anyway it's this whole idea of#having this unhealthy dependency on the approval of someone you admire to the ends of the earth despite them being#fully and clearly a toxic influence on you. The whole illusion of inflated self worth howthat all crumbles when you Realize how fragile you#whole entire worldview was. and THEN you have an embarrassing breakdown in front of ur friends#and this is SO terrifying because you have really tried your best to look really cool and put-together in front of them#it's the 'getting knocked down SO hard and having to build yourself up by recognizing the love from your friends#+finding something completely different from the person you hinged your entire being on in order to find your way to the surface' of it all#also galfast/whitclaw are surprisingly similar narrative wise it's so funny to me. th storytelling series of nat 1s against an op enemy </3#i think it WAS easier to execute leiland's character arc in the way it was bc a) he was played to be so CLEARLY insecure from minute 1#and b) it is very easy to condemn ripoff sauron and say 'yeah this guy sucked and we're glad that leiland and maggie are free from him'#meanwhile for fabian. a) he has convinced himself that nothing is wrong with him even though there so clearly is#and b) you have to acknowledge that bill loved his son so deeply yet was such a bad influence on him#it's such a bittersweet-bitter complexity and i imagine it would be super hard to pull off esp when bill and fabian's dynamic is#played as fairly comedic most of the time. in this vein of 'this evil guy is so evil but he cares about his son this hard and it's funny'#and also just the fact this kind of bitter complicated parent-child dynamic is very rarely portrayed and pulled off well.#WHY the fuck are these tags so long if you read all this i'm so sorry
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beeapocalypse · 10 months
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ouugh mayhap a specialty product that marie loves to work w is fabric that has been partially digested by a dragon b4 getting thrown up where the Reality of it started to break down but not to the point of Complete insubstantiality so it floats and is far more flowing than the typical stuff bc it literally loses itself in the matter of other things
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yamikawaii · 11 months
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Those people are nothing but disgusting, my cute little darling. You and I both know from the bottom of our hearts that I have NO interest in anyone that isn't you... especially as someone as despicable as him. You are all I care about and there is NOBODY and NOTHING that would make me change that, cupcake. You'll be mine, forever and ever, and I'll be yours! We don't need anybody else. Especially not him. You are the greatest creation of this world, my sweet. Nothing will ever stop me from devoting absolutely everything to you!
Yours forever, Yoomtah 💖⚡
UU.U.UUUEUEUEUUEUUUUUEUEUUEUEUHUUUUUEUEUEUUUU YOOMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MY BELOVED;///; I DONT NEED ANYTHING BUT YOU OK I LOVE U SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE STAY WITH ME FOREVER OK I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
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sateurn · 1 year
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😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
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libertys-lovers · 1 year
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I feel like every time I make progress on the Venture Bros sona redesign, my laptop decides to crash. Luckily I usually save before it does, but STILL-
One of those butterfly bastards from Monarch’s crew must’ve learned how to hack my shit, and I’m kindly gonna have to ask them to NOT do that 🙏🙏🙏
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The Great Notes App Exodus: Gothic Dragons
Gotham has always been protected by a Dragon, even before it was ever Gotham.
There was a way about the land Gotham stood upon, that was all twisted magics and darkness and feral energy that never quite fit in man’s modern world. America had but one Guardian Dragon - except for Gotham, which was near a law and country unto itself.
Gotham was a sanctuary for the supernatural, but it was not kind. Those non-humans who risked its dark streets were the brave, or the foolish, or the terribly desperate. Gotham was a dark city, and it’s people adapted or were driven out.
(But should a threat ever come for her, all of Gotham would rise up in response.)
So Gotham had its own Guardian, but the Dragon guarded the world outside from Gotham’s brutality just as much as it shielded Gotham from those that would rend her apart.
But, of course, Dragons were only so many, and new blood must be brought in - human blood, as it often was, and so the trend of Dragon blood “skipping” a generation emerged.
And the bloodline of the Guardian Dragons of Gotham withered, bit by bit, because it is far easier to kill a human of dragon blood than it is to kill a Dragon of human descent.
(And Bruce Wayne has never hated this truth of the world more - because his parents had been Skipped, human, and if they had been dragons, they’d still be there with him.
But they weren’t.
It was just Bruce, a fledgling Dragon, and the butler left to care for him.)
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Although Gotham had only ever had one Guardian Dragon, it had at one time had a whole lineage of Dragons capable of taking up the mantle. As the Dragons intermarried, however, more and more lines broke off with human kin, occasionally producing dragons.
But the Guardian Line had been reduced to one untrained hatchling. And that hatchling didn’t much care if it was a Dragon or a dragon that was Guardian of the city, just that there was someone to Guard it.
The problem is, of course, that the hatchling needs training - but he cannot get that in Gotham.
So he leaves.
He comes back ready to pull his city back from the brink, by force if (when) necessary.
Here’s the thing - Bruce is no Dragon, because for all that he is the last of the Guardian line he doesn’t adhere to the rules of that duty.
A Guardian’s duty is to the supernatural beings they protect.
Bruce has already decided that that is not enough. Human or Magical Being, if no one else will step in, then he will.
Bruce might have been the Gotham Dragon, but that didn’t mean he was the only dragon in the city.
The thing about dragon blood is that it tended to turn up dragons unexpectedly in families that had been mostly human. A dragon ancestor could have human children, and their children have human children, and then a dragon. It was a recessive trait when introduced into human bloodlines, and especially if it was paired with yet more human lines, but it also was tellingly stubborn - a human may only have a single draconian ancestor hundreds of years back, but they could still unexpectedly turn up a dragon hatchling.
It was just sheer dumb luck that a bunch of said unexpected hatchlings turned up within the span of the same generation.
#The Great Notes App Exodus#graphite writes#american dragon was a show I held close to my heart the entire first season#and then they changed the art style and I Literally Could Not watch it#But the concept is so cool and I love dragons so here it is transplanted onto the batfam <3#I also considered a version where the rest of the batfam are all different mythical creatures or even just human#Dick would be a water-based siren because I love the thought of him longing for the sky like his bird-siren ancestors#the thought is that you have three variations of sirens: the nymph-like sirens who are the oldest and rarest version#The bird-based sirens who came after Demeter charged them with finding Persephone#And the most prevalent water-based sirens from when they threw themselves into the sea when they couldn’t lure in Odysseus or w/e#So ever since sirens long for the skies and it’s all very tragic <3#Jason would be a werewolf because I adore the image of this tiny floppy puppy coming back as this two-metre tall feral behemoth of a beast#and Tim as always gave me trouble so I decided he got turned into a vampire while wandering the streets alone one night with his camera#Babs had latent naga blood that activated when she lost the use of her legs so now if she wants she can spawn a snake tail instead#she can’t go out like that obvi but it’s nice being able to get around regardless of her injury#Cass is human because I thought it was funny that the most dangerous batfam member was the only one who wasn’t a mythical being <3#Fuck knows about Steph tho#Some kinda vocal mimic maybe??#Something subtle so that she seems human at first (and second) (and third) glance#It doesn’t help that her personality is so loud since it tends to distract people from any of her Otherness
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archaeren · 3 months
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
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penins · 5 months
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Also on mob psycho I am just so happy and sad and all the feelings for mob. My god that boy is going through it. Only just started season three but man. He has got a quite amazing support system but also so many people using him and I can only imagine this going poorly.... as much as reigen may actually care for mob now like hes the luckiest man alive to both be alive and also still have mob's trust. Mob and emotions and fridndship and ahhhhh. The "get a clue" scene just. Oh man. I wish I was more articulate but I just started watching it today soo. Just excitement
#imagine my surprise when reigen is like. actually literally kinda pathetic and not just in the uwu affectionate way like a little pitiful#man what are you doing#like its working somehow but also kind of sad#also simultaneously less of a douche than I'd expected too? though thats those moral lessons he gave mob doing a lot of heavy lifting#was also surprised to find out serizawa's entire character. I thought he was like normie with esp that came into their life somehow#cool to finally get to know him though#I have to say I appreciate the way girls are depicted in this theyre just such. normal people? in a way I didnt even realize I was missing#ofc still taking more of a backseat/ side character designation but they get to be weird and human about it#and also ofc with the exception of tsubomi but that is a special case and even with mob's perception of her we still get to see#her far from perfect personality#and its pretty blatant to see it is him that idealizes her and not the narrative itself#of course hearts forevrr for autism coding and heartwrenching/hearwarming depictions. lovely beautiful#rounded#adoring seeing mob grow and learn to be more of his own person#learning to not let people walk all over him as much and value the good things in his life#but also keeping his morals in the process#becoming assertive does not mean becoming unnecessarily cruel <33#at times I was like “this is like steven universe if it was good” but like that show wasnt that bad.#i do like the way they conbey concepts and messages better in mp100 I think though#idk essay in the tags for my entire audience of 2 mutuals <3
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arolesbianism · 6 months
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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catboybiologist · 6 months
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“As a biologist, the terms biological woman and man don’t make any sense to me” okay then you’re an idiot and a terrible biologist. I swear to god, morons like you only become biologists just so you can hold it over others, when in reality, if biology deniers like you can become biologists, then being one really doesn’t mean much anyway. But this probably just gave an autogynophile like you a boner to read, anyway.
Oh fun! Haven't gotten one of these in a while. Disregarding the fact that you somehow think the qualification for being a biologist entirely hinges on defining womanhood, I do need to ask some clarification. I know I'm feeding the trolls here, but here we go: does your definition of "biological woman" mean:
Sociological woman? Eh, context dependent, I'm not fully out of the closet, but oftentimes, I am and present femme. So let's call that one 50/50.
Psychological woman? Because I am one.
Neurological woman? Because I am one [1].
Physical woman? My soft tissue redistribution is handling that well.
Hormonal woman? My blood tests are within cis female ranges.
Transcriptional woman? As a signalling molecule, the downstream effects of estrogen have broad transcriptional effects, completely changing the profile of gene expression and functional genomics of my cells. [2]
Genetic woman? I mean, see my above point- as far as my genes that are actually active, I have all of the same transcripts being produced, controlling which genes are expressed.
Karyotypic woman? I actually have a few signs pre-HRT that might point to a non-XY chromosome pair, but I haven't had a karyotype. We'll put that down as unknown. And hell, even if its XY, there's plenty of cis women who are karyotypically XY, with suppressed sry or complete androgen insensitivity. Interestingly enough, a completely androgen insesitive woman can go her whole life without knowing- and functionally, is very similar to a trans woman, actually. Fancy that. [3]
Reproductive woman? I can't produce an egg cell, but neither can significant fractions of cis women. Also, this is all gonna change soon, which is fun. [4]
There's also a lot of understudied aspects to the biology of HRT and even pre-HRT that are emerging, largely demonstrating widespread cellular and genetic remodeling of trans individuals undergoing hormone therapy. The field is a bit behind due to constant political pressure to revoke funding, but a lot of the results are extremely exciting in both testosterone and estrogen hormone therapies. I'm sure that, as a self professed biology As someone who presumably has a lot of expertise in biology, I'm assuming that you're aware of all of this cutting edge research, and are keeping up with modern papers, including but not limited to these cool findings:
Trans men on HRT exhibit significant genetic and transcriptional changes that make them biochemically male. [5][6]. It's a good hypothesis that the same happens with estrogen treatment, but those studies don't exist yet- I'm sure you're reserving judgment until more publications exist, of course.
Trans men on HRT develop male cell types and tissues. [7]
Trans women experience muscular and blood cell changes that align with cis women moreso than cis men [8]
And many, many more! This is an exciting, underserved, and groundbreaking field of research, and I'm sure you're keeping up with the latest in scientific journals about it.
I'm sure, of course, that you understand that it becomes impossible to draw a distinct line anywhere in here, and that words like "woman" are shorthand for the myriad of traits that invisibly synthesize in our mind and in society to represent a concept? I'm sure you understand that science is fundamentally descriptive, not prescriptive? I'm sure that you understand that these findings, while really cool and interesting, actually don't mean jack shit about what the word "woman" means or not?
As someone who is the ultimate decider in what a biologist is, I'm sure you know that bioessentiallism is a childish mindset that completely ignores and disregards the constantly changing, dynamic nature of biological systems, something that extends well beyond biological sex and its relation to gender.
I'm sure that also, that you understand that beyond just this, that the role of science in society is to advise how to achieve our moral principles, not create moral principles in themselves. And I'm sure that understanding means you know that trans affirming healthcare and supportive societal treatment leads to reduced mortality and increased happiness for everyone, right?
So great to talk to someone who is surely a scientist on this. You are a biologist, if you're talking like this, I assume? I assume you're not going to spit complete misreadings of scientific language from the background sections of these papers that only reveal you've never read a scientific paper in your life if you're thinking this way? I assume you have experience interpreting data like this?
Also, imagining my genitalia while writing this? Ew. Please stop projecting your fetishes into my inbox.
Works cited:
Kurth F, Gaser C, Sánchez FJ, Luders E. Brain Sex in Transgender Women Is Shifted towards Gender Identity. J Clin Med. 2022 Mar 13;11(6):1582. doi: 10.3390/jcm11061582. PMID: 35329908; PMCID: PMC8955456.
Fuentes N, Silveyra P. Estrogen receptor signaling mechanisms. Adv Protein Chem Struct Biol. 2019;116:135-170. doi: 10.1016/bs.apcsb.2019.01.001. Epub 2019 Feb 4. PMID: 31036290; PMCID: PMC6533072.
Gottlieb B, Trifiro MA. Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. 1999 Mar 24 [Updated 2017 May 11]. In: Adam MP, Feldman J, Mirzaa GM, et al., editors. GeneReviews® [Internet]. Seattle (WA): University of Washington, Seattle; 1993-2024. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK1429/
Murakami, K., Hamazaki, N., Hamada, N. et al. Generation of functional oocytes from male mice in vitro. Nature 615, 900–906 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-023-05834-x
Pallotti F, Senofonte G, Konstantinidou F, Di Chiano S, Faja F, Rizzo F, Cargnelutti F, Krausz C, Paoli D, Lenzi A, Stuppia L, Gatta V, Lombardo F. Epigenetic Effects of Gender-Affirming Hormone Treatment: A Pilot Study of the ESR2 Promoter's Methylation in AFAB People. Biomedicines. 2022 Feb 16;10(2):459. doi: 10.3390/biomedicines10020459. PMID: 35203670; PMCID: PMC8962414.
Florian Raths, Mehran Karimzadeh, Nathan Ing, Andrew Martinez, Yoona Yang, Ying Qu, Tian-Yu Lee, Brianna Mulligan, Suzanne Devkota, Wayne T. Tilley, Theresa E. Hickey, Bo Wang, Armando E. Giuliano, Shikha Bose, Hani Goodarzi, Edward C. Ray, Xiaojiang Cui, Simon R.V. Knott, The molecular consequences of androgen activity in the human breast, Cell Genomics, Volume 3, Issue 3, 2023, 100272, ISSN 2666-979X, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xgen.2023.100272. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666979X23000320)
Xu R, Diamond DA, Borer JG, Estrada C, Yu R, Anderson WJ, Vargas SO. Prostatic metaplasia of the vagina in transmasculine individuals. World J Urol. 2022 Mar;40(3):849-855. doi: 10.1007/s00345-021-03907-y. Epub 2022 Jan 16. PMID: 35034167.
Harper J, O'Donnell E, Sorouri Khorashad B, McDermott H, Witcomb GL. How does hormone transition in transgender women change body composition, muscle strength and haemoglobin? Systematic review with a focus on the implications for sport participation. Br J Sports Med. 2021 Aug;55(15):865-872. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2020-103106. Epub 2021 Mar 1. PMID: 33648944; PMCID: PMC8311086.
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tvrningout-a · 11 months
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meanwhile flora macpherson is our resident disaster woman who runs away from a marriage she isn't ready for and lands herself into hot water and i!! dunno what hot water that is yet, but i know it's gonna be funny :' )
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