#hes so f*ne yall

[yunogf]

JAEHYUN @ SBS Inkigayo 231022

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

I TORTURED GOV! <333 I’M NOT RESPONSIBLE- YALL CHOSE HIM FOR THE TORTURE VICTIM MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-[dies]

@misery-has-no-company-now :)

Summary: life gets too much for the poor suit bastard and he snaps at PA

TW for: mention of wanting to do s3lf h4rm, but no actual sh. And talks of alcoholism and possible 4bus3?

————————

    It was around 8pm and Gov had just about had enough. Enough of what? Life. F*cking life. Email after email......document after document......scolding after scolding......paper after paper......coffee after coffee...... sleepless night after sleepless night......he was simply done with it. This was his life every day. God everything was so loud...

    Gov eyed the dagger on the corner of his desk. He remembers his sister, International District of Columbia or just IDC, gifting him the dagger a few years ago, though he couldn't exactly remember why. And he wasn't going to try to. He was way too tired for that. He continues to stare at the dagger for another five minutes, allowing those thoughts to fill his already crowded mind. He didn't exactly want to die right? No...... Just a little bit of blood...nothing much... he started to reach for the intricately designed blade. C'mon... no one will even notice...just a little... He pulls his hand back before it makes contact with the hilt. No. He couldn't. Not after the years of being clean. He can't. But would anyone actually notice if I just took a little blood...? Yes. Yes they would. ...but would they...?

    He was quickly ripped out of his thoughts as he heard a knock on the door. Gov quickly ran a hand through his hair and wiped away the tears that he hadn't even noticed had built up in his eyes. He took a sip of coffee before saying:

    "Come in!" in his voice that was raspy from disuse. He turned back to his work. He heard the faint sound of the door opening. And the sound of it locking. Through the corner of his eye, he could see Pennsylvania. Why him... he didn't feel like talking to his father. If he could even call him that. He never acted like much of a father to be honest. A good father isn't supposed to get drunk and thrown into a blind rage almost every night. A good father wouldn't neglect and ignore his son until he needed him. A good father wouldn't sit calmly knowing that his son was being bombarded with unreasonable amounts of work that was definitely too much for one man to do on his own and then getting yelled at or worse when there's a small mistake or when one little paper amongst several doesn't get turned in. Yeah. Pennsylvania is hardly what Gov would consider a good father. Yet still, he turned his chair towards him and put on his very practiced polite voice:

"Hello Pennsylvania, how may I help you?" he asked, smiling politely. That smile that was for sure not genuine. The one he used when talking to politicians and sh*t.

"C'mon. Ya need to take a break idiot." said the keystone state, his voice filled with...concern??? Well that's new...

"I'm fine." muttered Gov, voice barely above a whisper.

"No yer not. Ya can't go this long without sleepin' or eatin' or drinkin' anythin' besides coffee and energy drinks. It ain't good for ya."

"...since when did you care?"

"what?"

Gov looked up from his work to weakly glare at his father. "I said, Pennsylvania, since when did you care?"

"What are ya on about?? Yer my kid! O' course I care about you!!"

Welp. That was the last straw.

"What the hell do you mean ya care??? Since when didja ever care about me????" Gov said, raising his venom-filled voice a little as his NE accent started making itself known.

"What??? Gov, you're my son, why the f(speaks PA)k would I not care??? What are you on about????"

Gov laughed a bit in almost a psychopathic way. Pennsylvania backed up slightly as Gov arose from his seat, staring down into his very soul.

"You???? THE Commonwealth of Pennsylvania?? Cares about me??? Oh that's gold." Gov said, towering over his father.

"What the F(SPEAKS PA)K are you talkin' about?! Since when have I ever stopped lovin' you?!" Pennsylvania shouted.

"So the years of you watching me constantly getting bombarded with overwhelming amounts of work was love?? The constant nights of you gettin' drunk every goddamn night and bein' thrown into a blind rage by every little thing was love??? Every single time you sat by and watched as I was brutally scolded and sometimes hit by my handlers was love???? Only ever bein' proud of me when I was workin' my ass off was love????? THAT was love?!?!" Gov shouted. Damn did it feel good to yell.

"......"

"WELL?! ANSWER MY GODDAMN QUESTIONS GODDAMNIT!!" Gov shouted again, tears rolling down his face.

"I- I know that you're angry......"

"I'm not angry, I am in pain, and YOU put me here!!" said the younger personification, holding back a choked sob. He glared not daggers, but swords into his father's soul. The Keystone State squirmed a bit uncomfortably at the feeling of his son's gaze. Good.

"I-"

Gov chokes back another sob, "You! The person who's supposed to love me more than anything..."

Pennsylvania finally backed out of the corner he had backed himself into. "G-Gov I-" he placed a hand on Gov's shoulder.

"Git the HELL OFF OF ME!!" Gov said before delivering a harsh slap to Pennsylvania's face, leaving the older state in shock. After a few seconds, Gov came to the realization of what he just did. 'I'm such an idiot...' he thought to himself as he frantically looked for an exit.

Gov got up and ran towards the door, shoving his father out of the way in the process. He bolted through the Northeast Floor of the statehouse, trying to ignore any confused looks from the NE states that were still awake and out. He ran about halfway before stopping near a window. He knew that right below the window was Louisiana's room. Loui. Loui is safe. Loui is good. Must go to Loui. Gov opened the window and jumped out, ignoring the slight pain that shot through his legs when he landed. As he started to catch his breath, he heard a window open and a few soft voices:

"Sha??? Are ya aight??" Loui...

"What the hell?? Damn Fed I didn't know this was mission impossible!" Florida...

!SMACK!

"Ow!"

"Shut yer damn mouth Florida! Hon are ya okay??" Texas...

"Eh he'll be fine it ain't that big of a drop." New York. Duh.

"York it's at least a 4 or 5 story drop!" Cali...

"And?"

"I-"

Gov never thought he would feel so relieved to hear the voices of his boyfriends. He never thought he would be so relieved to feel strong arms pull him up and in through the window......

————————

[scourgethecat66]

character break down for

pip pirrup

pip is like the sweetest, kindest character in south park, and thats like what makes him cynical like

pip being cynical as always yall 💀

when i see him getting bullied i instantly say damn bro he betta beat these guys up. i feel like he would and hes worth that.

s1 episode 10 of south park kinda showed us that pip has some kind of anger issue. he started to explain to damien that he should see the guidance counselor for his anger. he even goes as far as breaking kyles nose with a dodgeball after being called frenchy and a frog.

pip is a baddie? confirmed?

this gives us an idea that pip really isnt as kind and sweet as hes made to be. i mean, he said that he represses his anger. like pip could probably beat up a kid ngl. they spit in his eye and tell him to shut up, so id understand if he felt angry.

most of the information is from season 1-3 (i believe)

so as um portrayed here

pip could be like “oh no pFFT its f i ne im all good.” but really i think he would want to punch a few children.

pip pirrup is secretly the antagonist (?) jk he die- anyways-

this is why damien is so perfect for him they can just kinda fester in anger together

an au for this kid would be top tier, and i think its already been done with hell park but i have no clue

damien betrays him by like blowing him up for entertainment i mean 💀 child neglect??

his parents are dead and the boys laugh at it help 😭

estella please-

he is based off of i believe great expectations? estella didnt really love pip, and estella is from that story. same with pip and same with damien. their names are exactly the same, so that has some meaning. pip deserved so much more but never got it.

great expectations:

rip pip😭😭😭

hes too precious for this world and thats why its scary. influence from bullying can turn someone into a monster and i believe pip has done that. i feel like his anger would over power him a bit and its just- pip 😭 hes one of my favorites helpppp

we will miss u

blonde baby boy 😔

[dreamscapesin1582]

Vampires + Model MC

SCENARIO:

MC used to model for the ads of their travel agency. It escalated there and somewhat she received a few offers of modelling for catalogs and women’s magazines.

For some reason, she had a few of those with her when she got teleported to 19th century France and she fell in love and blahblahblah.

One day, she was shopping for groceries when her lover entered her room and found some interesting books peeking out of her purse.

Let’s say it’s the summer edition… aka swimsuits :))))

IKESEN VERSION: Oda Forces  ||  Uesugi-Takeda Alliance

NAPOLEON BONAPARTE

*eyes emoji*

“oh shit”

what did i just stumble upon

he backs away, then thinks that it must be a future thing

“so we’re good” then he takes it again

“she never told me she used to model”

browses through every page with a furrow in his brow

like yall really be telling me that ppl see this for free?

where was this when i was cold and alone in my throne

the future is w i l d,,,

he’s not that fond of books but he will definitely keep this one

f o r   s u r e

when mc gets back, napo will def ask her abt it

WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART

“all these years in solitude and i still get blessed by the world”

why do i even go outside, i wonder

anyways mozart tries to put it back

mozart really tried to put it back

narrator: mozart could not put it back

makes sure no one is around before opening it again

“will this be the reason why jean will finally disown me”

nah lets just call it…….. m o t i v a t i o n

whenever he is in the music room, there are two (2) things in front of him

sheet music and the magazine

conclusion: he has no shame

“ITS FOR THE GLORY OF MY MUSIC MC”

LEONARDO DA VINCI

this one is up for any adventure amirite

so when he saw the magazines?

he just found the fucking treasure

yeah thats right im talking bout u

love yourself my hoes

a n y w a y s

after all those centuries, leonardo da vinci has never been this interested in anything

i mean being dead inside and all

he will examine the shit out of that magazine

the p e r f e c t i o n

he would admire how accurate the pictures are,,,,, and how s e x y

smirksmirksmirksmirk

ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

…………..what do u even expect lmao

jk guess what

contrary to common belief, the moment arthur witnessed the sheer power that is your body dressed in full glory

is the moment all his blood evacuated to his face

and ejected itself through the orifice that is his nose

b o l l o c k s

bless the gods that created the female sex

bless your mother

“oh fuck it bless everyone”

and he meant it

he blessed everyone with the collection of your pictures

imagine theo snapping his neck once it reached vincent lol

VINCENT VAN GOGH

he was just innocently killing time in your room, waiting for u

and then the devil inside him presented itself through a magazine

just poppin out of nowhere like “sURpRiSE moThERfUcKEr”

anyways he was like “oh!”

oh my go od ne s s g ra cio u s

anyone can see the sun in sunshine boi

considering how hot his face feels

it doesnt help that the pictures were clear and pretty

accurately taking every curve–

“broer i was wondering if that next painting is done—BROER?!”

that’s theo finding him passed out with the evidence lmao

ISAAC NEWTON

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA he’s gone bro

the brain of the genius is now dysfunctional

“iS tHiS LegAL???????”

he looks at the pictures with both horror and sexual frustration lol

nervously takes it away

for science part 2

cue mc coming back later in the day

“isaac have you seen the magazine in my purse?”

spits tea

“huh w-what magazine no i didnt see a magazine idk any magazine what is a magazine even”

mc is partly amused at how he said that in a second

“god pls take me away”

here it is,,,, i couldnt help myself since i keep seeing my model mc hcs blowing up my notifs lolololol

[nejihoe]

you ask them to teach you volleyball

feat. morisuke y. daishou s. bokuto k.

a/n : well i played volleyball in gym and after realising how much i suck at volleyball i got inspired<3

━━ YAKU MORISUKE

volleyball is so important to him so when you approach him his heart goes 💓

lmao he'd definitely call you out for not paying attention 😶

like he'd just transform into a completely different person when playing volleyball and you'd go 😍

if he catches you tho he'd prolly throw a ball @ ur head, let's be real there's a reason he's called demon senpai 👹✋

lev would crash your lessons to practice his recieves bc kuroo would be like you gonna get benched son if u don't improve 🤡

yaku would be so mad @ this, and like lev's little comments he wouldn't hesitate to drop kick a bitch 😤👊

" yakkun ! this is so boooring " a voice complains, your boyfriend's composure twitching in irritation. " without the fundamentals your natural talent is useless " he comments, long exasperated sigh let out from his parted lips " no more excuses get back to practice or i swear inuoka will replace you ". lev's amused glance doing nothing to smooth the situation. " wow, you're almost tall enough to be taken seriously ", embers lighting in yaku's eyes. foot connecting with the others leg, tall boy wincing in pain. " was that necessary ? " you question, concern etching your features. " yes "

okay don't tell yaku but u couldn't help giggle @ his first year antics 😳 👉👈

yaku would prolly be like if u learn how to do this properly ill give u a kith 😙😙

lolz lev would completely cockblock u and ask for a kith as well when his recieves don't 💯% suck

lmao cue the poor bb on the floor in pain )):

u loved the first year so u definitely helped him behind your boyfies back

he'd definitely show off to lev how you're much better receiver than he could ever be 💀

all lies- 🐸 mostly 🐸 you never noticed so 🐸

f in the chat for the russian lionychovka beanpole 😔

━━ DAISHOU SUGURU

chest would be puffed out in pride

babies just a big volleynerd pls 🥺

but on the outside he's like : 😏

" you've come to the right guy, ur coming to the guy who whipped nekomas ass " 😌

" didn't you loose " 😶

" ... " 🤡

" ... " 🤡

" fuck technicalities " ‼️‼️

him tryin to show off likes 💪 but like boi fails terribly bc as soon as he stops talking his eyes go like 🤩

his cool bad boy demeanor goes 📉

he goes over all these strategies to shake off blockers and the other positions and ur lowkey just ❓❓❓

" see these are where the middle blockers are at their prime, one wrong move and ... " daishou explains, board with diagrams layed out in front of you. hues filled with dreamy sparkles, passion pouring out of sentences. choosing to ramble on, voice swaying you into a trance. surroundings fading away, words blurring into a disarray in your mind. " hmm, y/n ? " warm breath dancing upon your ear. smirk spreading across his features " you paying attention ? ". small gap left between you and the chair, startling noise causing you to jump up in surprise.

" what did i just explain "

" how much u love me ? " 🥰🙏

" ... the importance of pinch servers "

okay after that you actually tried to pay attention 😹

jsgshdjdkdjdr tbh you actually understood all the theory pretty well 🧠💡

snake 🐍 boi was proud of his teachings

um the executing of it definitely needed some work 😀

jsgdhsjjdjdjdj the nohebi team offered to help but he was like no they are my student, the love of my life, go away ♥️

ne wayz it went pretty well all things considered- i mean after he went on a one hour rant about how kuroo was an untalented asshole and how nekoma somehow cheated and nohebi deserved to win ‼️‼️✋‼️‼️

yeah uhm let's just say you both agreed never to bring up that topic again and went to get onigiri✨😃✨

━━ BOKUTO KOTAROU

first thing he does it call akaashi no 🧢

" akaashi ! yn asked me to help her volleyball ! how do i teach volleyball ! how do you volleyball !? please help ! " 😭🙏

" bokuto san please calm down, yn wouldn't have asked you to teach them if they didn't believe you had the ability " 😐

" that's right ! yn trusted me ! because i am amazing and the best teacher ever ! " 😌💪

trust akaashi to always get him out of a stump 🥰

so uhm yes let's be honest he's better @ controlling bokuto than you could ever be 💀

he'd like set to bokuto first and he would do one of his killer spikes while u failed @ blocking 🤐

yeah when it was your turn you actually did pretty well for a beginner 😌✋

see and then a sort of problem arises where bokuto decided to show off a bit too much and im- ✨ y e a h ✨

akaashi positions himself, postures elegantly to set the ball. arcing throughout mid air, bokuto plunging upwards. muscles rippling, palm bracing to make contact with the rough texture of the ball. tremendous buildup, only to be deflated as the palm misses due to an early jump. bokutos frown growing deeper, knowing orbs drooping as a knowing look glazes over his hues. " bokuto san ... ? " akaashis cautious voice breaking the silence, confused look emitted from your expression. japan's number 5 ace moping in the corner of the room. " shouldn't we- ? " you ask, body posture leaning towards the figure in the corner. " he'll be fine, bokuto san tends to get a bit moody when things do not go the way he has planned- ". " i can hear you ! " pouty voice bouncing around the gym walls.

really took a big hit to babie bo's confidence 🤧

u hit a turning point when konoha entered

" guess he's in his emo mode again, ig i have to join you now " 🙂‼️

" okay ! " 🥰

bokuto wouldn't stand for it

would literally run in && push konoha away 🤡

akaashi : relieved, konoha : pissed, you : confused 😬

" hey ! hey ! hey ! let's go ! ill beat konoha and akaashi easy " 😤

so a two on two was formed ✨✨

yall actually surprisingly tied ❓❓❓

yes he ran into ur arms for a kiss and u almost collapsed but u thought it was adorable 🥺🥺🥺

akaashi definitely scolded him for it after and checked u had no injuries 🚶‍♀️

[catboy-lover-archive]

Obey Me Romanian MC

idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)

Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30

Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele

[added translations]

(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)

Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?

MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah

-

MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.

Asmo: Awww

Beel: :(

Belphie: What?!

Satan: Why?

MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴

-

Asmo: But I thought you could-

MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

-

Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-

MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*

-

Solomon: What is this weird potion.

MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*

MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖

-

MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?

MC: Tsch tsch tsch

Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond

MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it

Lucifer: Fair enough

-

Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?

MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔

-

MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨

-

(after the Belphie incident)

MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too

-

MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜

Belphie: My butt still hurts...

MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)

-

*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*

Mammon: W-what's that???

Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose

Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!

MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)

-

MC: Who has summoned me?

Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.

MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨

Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.

MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*

Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable

MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-

-

Barbatos: MC...

MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.

Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?

MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*

-

Diavolo: Do you like my castle?

MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.

MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows

-

Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...

MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳

MC: Real music here 😌

-

MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*

Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...

MC: That's the spirit!

-

MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!

-

Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.

MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼

-

Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!

MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...

MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?

-

Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*

Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*

MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*

MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!

-

MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊

Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-

MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)

-

Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?

MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*

MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...

Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?

MC: The secret is to use your wrist-

-

MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?

Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?

MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you

-

MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?

Simeon: ...what? :)

MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!

MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there

MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.

-

Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.

MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)

-

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is

Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.

Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.

-

MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️

(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)

-

MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*

-

Belphie: *misbehaving*

MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)

MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*

-

MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ

-

MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)

-

MC: Where is my țuică? :)

Everyone: *quiet*

MC: I won't get mad :)

MC:

MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)

Everybody: *runs*

MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use

-

Levi: *exists*

MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*

MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)

-

MC: Lucifer you don't understand!

MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!

-

MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore

-

Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight

MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)

-

MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică

MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)

-

Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe

MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)

-

Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?

MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)

Mammon, clueless: ok thanks

-

MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like

-

Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?

MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.

-

Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*

Asmo: Please love me!

MC: *already in wedding attire*

-

MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!

MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?

MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT

-

MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*

MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)

-

MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again

MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.

-

MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)

MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)

MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition

-

Diavolo: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)

-

Simeon: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)

-

Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...

MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)

-

MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?

MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake

MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house

MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN

-

MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so

MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*

MC: that works wonders for me

[dazed--xx]

Useless

Request: Can you do a one shot were you fight and he says something that really hurt you bc you were insecure about that and then you act kinda distant and idk can it fluff and angst pretty please 🥺 I love your blog 💜(tae)

Summary:  “Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

Member: Taehyung x Idol!reader

Word Count: 2,276

Genre: Angst, light smut, light fluff

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE

A/N: Shout out to the reader who requested my first Tae one shot, hope you enjoy. I got some big things planned to come out so i hope yall follow make sure you check out my masterlist for other stories 

(Not my gif)

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“Y/N!!” Tae shouts from the living room finally acknowledging my presence for the first time today. Waking me from a dead sleep, that falling feeling startling. “Y/N!!!” His voice booming. Sluggishly, WHAT TIME IS IT?? 1:54 am the alarm clock reads I scream into the pillow and make my wake to the living room. The bright light blinding, Tae on the couch with Jungkook. “Yes?” the annoyance in my tone evident. “We’re hungry can you make us something please?” THE FUCKING NERVE!!!! I roll my eyes “Did you speak to me for the last 16 hours?” confusion creeping onto his face at my passive aggressive attitude. Jungkook’s face contorts obviously uncomfortable. “I was just asking you to make us food, no need to be a bitch about it ill just order out” He snaps back “and by the way if you have something to fucking say then say it I don’t appreciate the off handed comments especially when you could have come to me as well and speak to me..” his eyes roll, Jungkook eyeing the door “WELL!.... this has been......fun. I'm gonna head out. Sorry Y/N didn’t mean to upset you” I smile at his friendliness. “Goodnight Jungkookie, I'll see you next time okay I'm sorry to make you feel uncomfortable.” I escort him out the door.  

Tae’s eyes fuming as I turn around. “Look what you fucking did! You made him leave all because of you’re stupid fucking attitude!” He shouts, throwing his controller on the ground smashing it. “You couldn’t just say you didn’t fucking feel like it instead of pushing my friend out the fucking door” fear creeping up in my body. Me and Tae have fought before but he’s never raised his voice like this. He’s never been THIS angry before. “Tae, I’m sorry but I was sleeping and-” “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING?” his terrifying voice booming. Tears sting my eyes all my anger from the day boiling over as the confession spews out of my mouth “NO YOU DON’T BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I DO TODAY WAS A CLEAR INDICATION OF THAT NO? YOU HAVE A FUCKING DAY OFF AND YOU LITERALLY SPEND IT IGNORING ME AND PLAYING YOUR STUPID ASS GAME. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A WALK WITH ME AND YOURE TOO TIRED. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A NAP WITH ME YOU WANT TO BE UP. SO, WHAT THE FUCK IS IT HUH? SO, WHEN I FINALLY, FINALLY FALL ASLEEP YOU WANT TO FUCKING WAKE ME UP TO ASK ME TO COOK FOR YOU AND JUNGKOOK?????????”  

“Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

*10 YEARS AGO,*

“Y/N! YOU RUINED IT! IT WAS MY FAVORITE AND YOU BROKE IT!!” My older sister shouts, as her hand harshly cracks along my cheek. Tears stream down my face, “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to...” I whimper. The mirror on the ground shattered like my heart, my sisters rough hand shoves me to my knees. Glass stabbing at my skin like a thousand knives, her hand in my hair. “CLEAN IT NOW!!!” Her shouting alerts my mother. “Y/S/N? What's going on?” My mother's soft voice asks as she comes into the room. “Tsk....Y/N what did you do now?” Annoyance in her tone, her eyes rolling. “She broke my mirror. She broke my favorite mirror....she's so useless mom why is she here she needs to go.” My sister whined.  

“Let her go, Y/N pick this up and come to my room...” the tone dark. Fear taking a hold of my chest. Whilst cleaning the mirror my sisters torture did not end glass penetrated my hand every time, she shoved me over as I held each shard with care. Dread fills me as the mirror is completely clean. Slowly, I trek to my mother's room my 12-year-old frame trembling as I stand in front of my mother's door heart beating threatening to burst out of my chest.  

“Y/N LETS GO NOW” my mother shouts from the other side of the door. The beating didn’t last too long the pain only temporary; the lecture lasted a lifetime the pain forever. “Why do you have to be so damn useless huh? It's like you enjoy ruining our lives, you never seem to do anything right and I'm so god damn tired of fucking covering for you. SO, you need to go, I don’t care where it is you go but it's not here. I want you out by tomorrow and don’t take none of that expensive shit that’s mine”. I was out within the hour, terrified of what may come if I lasted until tomorrow. Rushing out of the door at 3 am with all of my essential belongings in hand, with no destination in sight.  

Months go by living all around Seoul at parks, bus stations, motels when I get really lucky. Singing in the street to come up with a few dollars to eat. Some days I didn’t make enough and I would slip items in my clothes, becoming quite the “artist”.  One day, I’m singing in front of a small store front 2 gentlemen dressed lavishly listening intently phone recording as my verse comes to an end. Their eyes burning holes into me as a blush creeps up onto my face. The crowd disperses at the top of my hat a business card BIG HIT ENTERTAINMENT. Confusion strikes me turning the card over. A small hand written note and address on the back ‘TOMORROW 2 PM’. My heart races WHAT????

*TRAINEE DAYS*

“Y/N-AH STOP BEING SO DAMN USELESS AND PLEASE HIT THE BEAT ON THE RIGHT COUNT!” My groups dance lead, Hye-un shouts. Fury in her eyes, “Seriously we probably would have debuted by now if you could do something right like you can't sing, you can't dance...what can you do huh?? Stand there? Remember you’re only here because Namjoon oppa felt bad for you.” her words cut like knives. “Namjoon oppa thinks I'm good..” I mutter weakly, under my breathe as tears slide down my face. Every girl laughs, “No, honestly no one does like come on, you can't see it, He felt bad for you idiot. You were homeless and needed a place to go.” Jisoo snaps. Her words breaking my heart, grabbing my bag and dashing toward the door. They won't get to see me cry...not like that... not for them.  

Running down the hallway, hunting for the farthest studio away from them to release my demons. THUD! “Oof DUDE WATCH WHERE YO-” The loud voice cut off “LOOK IM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD MOVE” I shout as I stand up to run past the stranger. “Damn... Okay... rude... are you okay though you look like you’re crying” He says as I wipe my eyes getting a clear view of the man that I've collided with. A blush instantly creeping on my face as the familiar face becomes recognizable and my head shoots down, Taehyung oppa. All the anger in me fades quickly as the god like man shifted. My voice is shaky, “IM SO SORRY, I wasn’t paying attention. I'm just having a rough morning. I should get going, I'm so sorry... I..Um...S-Sorry” He chuckles “Ha, you said that already...3 times in fact” a small giggle escapes my lips.

“So, I know you don’t know me or anything but I’m a great listener. Maybe you can tell me what's going on, it might help” He says sincerely. Hesitant, I look down “um....-” “Look, don’t worry if you don’t want to physically tell me give me your number you can text it to me then that way you and I don’t have to be face to face and it can help you to get more out that sound good?” I nod as he pulls out his phone and asks for mine. His number in my phone as Tae<3. A smile creeps up onto my face as he pulls me into a hug. My body melts into his like I've known him for years. “Okay so I'll talk to you later” A smile on his face as he walks off.  

Blushing, as realization dawns on me as I pull my phone out to text him.  

*PRESENT*  

From there I told Tae everything, my fears, my past, insecurities. Useless....that's all I’ve ever been. My sobs no longer able to be held back as they barrel their way through my chest. “F-fin-ne then Tae you won't have to worry about me being in your way anymore” I whisper as I turn around and walk into the bedroom Tae and I share. Locking the door behind me I curl up in bed and let the tears take over me. Mama never loved you, the girls never wanted you to debut with them, they made you go solo because of how useless the group thought you were, You're so fucking useless to Tae. I ruin fucking everything I'm sorry Tae. The tears putting you to sleep eventually.  

TAE’S POV  

FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO???????!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!! The regret fills my mind as the bedroom door locks in my face. Her sobs filling the apartment, my heart cracking at the sound. Sitting outside of the door listening to the love of my life cry herself to sleep in our bedroom, alone, because of me. Baby I'm so sorry...you know I never would mean anything like that, but the words never come out.  

Nothing can physically come out as my heart pounds in my throat terrified of what tomorrow could bring. Would she leave? NO! Tae don’t think like that Y/N loves you and she’ll know you could never mean that...right? Tears streaming down my face at the thought. You fucked up...you fucking hurt her in one of the worst fucking ways possible. There's no way she's going to forgive you. Trudging back to the couch as I let the tears consume me.  

Y/N’S POV

The sun beaming in my eyes, burning, as I blink myself awake. Eyes sore, Tae’s words resting at the front of my mind. Making my way to the restroom, the second the door is open Tae is in front of me on his knees. “Baby, I’m an asshole okay but I love you and-and I'm sorry” He pleads as he wraps his arms around my waist head resting against my stomach. Disgust filling me, “Move, I have to use the restroom” Tae’s saddened figure retreats back to the living room defeated. Tears stream down my face as the hot water from the shower soaks me. My pain evident, Tae shuffling outside of the bathroom door every few minutes whispering to himself before disappearing back into the living room.  

Placing one of my tank tops and sweat pants on, I make my way out of the bathroom. Tae rushing behind me as I walk back into the bed room. The saddened puppy looks still on his face. His regret in his eyes, his face is puffy and red proof he’s been crying over his words. The sight weakening my angry state as he reaches for my face and looks into my eyes caressing my cheek. His gaze drifting to my lips, slowly leaning forward he brushes his lips against mine looking for some form of consent. My eyes close as he presses forward and kisses me with so much emotion, his tongue delving in to my mouth and tasting me. A slight moan released from his lips as he presses me against the bedroom door slamming it shut. He lifts my right leg over his waist pulling me closer, as lips slide down to my neck. The way his tongue attacks my neck, drawing a puddle in my panties, his member grinding against me hard as a rock. The need for more grows inside me as Tae pulls his lips off of my body as he whispers in my ear his voice shaky and terrified “I-I’m so s-sorry, I love you and you’re not useless. I didn’t mean it. I could never mean it, you’re perfect I swear. And I'm such an ass for saying something like that there’s no excuse for what I said but please, okay, I'm BEGGING you don’t leave me.”  

A tear slides down my face as he shakes, crying into my ear wrapping his arms around my waist. Tae’s sadness washing away any animosity toward him at his words. “Baby... you hurt me but I'd never leave you. You're all I have and I'm never giving you up” I hug him back. His smile against my neck. “I don’t deserve you.....I'm sorry” I nod and run my hands through his hair. “SO! Were you just being a tease or are you gonna finish what you started?” I ask seductively as I put Tae’s hand in my pants, a smirk creeps onto his face.  

“Oh, Kitten, I have so many plans for us today”  

[liberolove]

Testing the Waters (pt. 2)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part two] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

It’s been three days since the last time you saw Yuu. Gosh, even saying his name to yourself gave you goosebumps. You two have been texting non stop and honestly, it felt so refreshing. You were a pretty bad texter but he knew how to keep the conversation going. 

One of his favorite things to do was play 21 questions with you. He wasn’t like those fuckboys who would use this opportunity to ask you if you were a virgin or what your favorite position was. Yuu was different. He came up with the craziest scenarios and judged you on the way you answered. One time he asked you how you would escape a 300 lb lion that just broke out of the zoo you were visiting. You honestly had no idea how to respond but eventually you replied, 

“I’d make sure to run with a crowd and ‘accidentally’ trip a slow runner so that the lion could get distracted and probably (most likely) attack them. This would buy me some time to get the hell out there.”

This response caught Noya off guard but he loved the way you thought. You continued to come up with barbaric schemes to survive all the scenarios he would throw at you. He kept you guessing and that was what you liked so much about him. He was wild and so were you.

You were getting a little impatient over your next date so you took a deep breath and eventually asked him.

Y/N: Heeey, Yuu. I was wondering when you’d like to go out again. I’d really like to go out with you again.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey cutie! I’ve been wanting to see you again but I haven’t had any days off from work lately.. (; ･`д･´) IM DYING!! I just wanna see yoouuuuu

Y: Aw man.. :( That sucks. When do you think you’ll get your next day off?

N: idk tbh but hopefully it’s soon!!

Y: no worries, just let me know.

N: will do!!

Well, that was that. Now you wondered what you should do to pass the time. You were bored again and needed something to do. “Oh wait. I should check the app. I haven’t checked since I messaged Yuu on there. Maybe I have more matches.”

You opened up the app and you had 10 notifications. You had gotten some likes on the selfie you posted and several people viewed your profile. You checked who looked at your profile, and it was mostly ugly, older, men. “Gross,” you thought to yourself. Besides this, you noticed some new messages. 

You opened up the first message. 

“Hey sexy! Wanna come see me play? Click my link https://…..”

“Damn bots. So annoying.” You deleted the message. Next message:

“DTF?”

“I mean like yeah, but you could’ve been less forward in your message. What a turn off..” You had one last notification left. Maybe it wouldn’t be a let down.

“Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? 'Cause you are F-I-Ne.”

To be honest, this pick up line did make you giggle a little. You checked out the profile of the mysterious stranger who sent it and you were surprised that it was a bulked up biker. And damn, was he hot as hell. 

His hair stood up in an organized, weird bed head kind of way. It made him look like a rooster. Rather than smile in his photos, he smirked. And his eyes looked like he could undress you solely with his gaze. He looked like your typical bad boy, but that didn’t make sense. Why would he use a chemistry pick up line?

This made you become even more interested, so you replied back with another cheesy pick up line.

Y/N: I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.

Kuroo Tetsuro: Hey, kitten. I thought you’d never reply. You had me waiting.

Y: umm??? calling me kitten already?

K: What’s wrong? Are you flustered already? We haven’t even met up yet.

Y: woah there cowboy! hold your horses

K: I’m not a cowboy, but I’ll gladly have you ride me instead.

Y: skskskks i cant even-

K: Sorry. Too much?

Y: YES TOO MUCH

K: Alright. Let me start over. Ahh, a fellow chemist, I presume?

Y: yeaaah, kind of. I have a love/hate relationship with chemistry.

K: Is that so? Maybe I can help with that.

Y: oh really? how so?

K: I am a chemistry major after all. I go to Sendai. Do you go to school?

Y: uhhh i’m going to start there in the fall. I still haven’t decided what to major in, just yet.

K: Maybe you’ll end up being a chemistry major like me and I can give you private one on one lessons? 

Y: I highly doubt that, but nice try. 

K: Have you gotten a tour of the campus yet? Or are you waiting for freshman orientation?

Y: nah, I haven’t seen all of it yet. 

K: Would you like to?

Y: um sure! When are you free for my private tour? (:

K: How about tomorrow in the morning? Maybe around 9am? I can pick you up too if you’d like.

Y: Sounds good and no thanks. I’m not riding on that motorcycle! Looks scary :(

K: Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll drive safely and make sure nothing happens to you.

Y: there you go again.

K: Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. No, but really. I don’t mind picking you up. Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?

Y: nope

K: Then, let’s change that. Send me your address tomorrow morning. And get some rest.

Y: alrighty it’s a plan then!

K: No. It’s a date.

Y: sksksk omg

After that conversation, all you could think about was how the hell did you get into this mess? Motorcycles are dangerous, yet this rooster convinced you so easily to take a ride with him.. 

It was an understatement to say that you were nervous for tomorrow.

You set an alarm for 7 am the next day and went to bed.

Your alarm woke you up and you immediately remembered why you were awake so early. You rushed into the shower and once you were out, you spent 30 minutes deciding on what to wear. You opted for some black, ripped skinny jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt. 

At 8am on the dot, your phone’s notification bell went off. It was Kuroo.

“What’s your address, baby?”

You sent him the details and continued getting ready. You put on some light makeup and brushed your hair. You checked the time, and it was already 8:55 am. Then, your phone went off again.

“I’m outside.”

Your heart almost beat out of your chest. You grabbed your purse and put on some chapstick. You know, just in case..

You locked up your apartment and walked down the stairs. You were greeted by the biggest shit eating grin on the sexiest man you’d ever seen. You never went for the bad boys but college is a time for experimenting. 

“Hey, Y/N. You ready to ride? I brought an extra helmet for you.”

“Hi, Kuroo. And yeah, I guess,” your voice shook as you replied. You were really nervous but you tried to hide it.

“Don’t worry, baby. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll keep you safe.”

His words made you melt and you had just met him. The way he cooed at you and looked your way made you blush. You felt your cheeks get hotter by the second.

“Alright. Hop on and hold on to my waist. Hold on tight or else you’re gonna fly away when I take off. Okay?”

“..okay..” you managed to mutter. You were shaking but you put on the helmet he gave you and lifted up your leg to sit on the metal machine. You slowly hugged Kuroo from behind and held on as tight as you could. Your head was smashed right up against his large, broad back.

“Ready?” he asked.

“..yeah,” you squeaked.

Before you finished saying this, he had taken off like the devil was chasing him. If this was his meaning of safe driving, you didn’t want to find out his meaning of reckless driving.

The ride to Sendai University only took about 5 minutes, when realistically it would take 20 minutes by bus. You arrived and Kuroo teased, “are you going to let go, kitty?”

You hadn’t realized you were still gripping onto him for dear life. You released him from your hold and your hands still tingled from the amount of force you applied to his shirt. “Sorry!”

“No worries. Hey, look! I brought you here alive. Aren’t you glad?” he cackled. 

His laugh sounded like a dying hyena but it did sound a little cute at the same time. “Yeah. Thank goodness. Your driving is insane, dude.”

He showed you all over campus, from the administrative buildings to the gymnasium, to the fields. Sendai was a pretty big campus, and it made you glad that you had a personal guide to show you all the different buildings. 

After your little tour was over, he asked, “wanna grab a bite to eat? I’ll be a gentleman and pay for you too.”

Of course, you couldn’t say no to food. Much less, FREE FOOD! You nodded and got ready to ride the devil’s machinery again.

He took you to a nearby sushi bar. “Order whatever you’d like, princess. Today, I want to spoil you rotten.”

You melted at his words and also at the variety of rolls on the menu. You didn’t ask him if he really meant that you could order anything. You just kind of went for it. You ordered everything from shrimp tempura, to octopus, to eel. Sushi was your favorite and being told that you could order everything was a dream come true.

“Damn, girl! I had no idea you had such a huge appetite!  I didn’t know you’d take me seriously on my offer. You’re gonna run my pockets dry.”

You blushed and looked away. “Sorry, Kuroo. I really couldn’t help myself. I love sushi so much.”

“I’m just teasing you, baby. You deserve to be treated like this everyday.”

You had no idea how to respond so you just kept stuffing your face with sushi.

After you finally had your fill, it was time to go home. It was getting late. Kuroo took you home and you were definitely more relaxed this time on the bike. 

“I hope you had a great time today, kitty. And I hope I met your standards.”

“Yes, I did! Thank you so much, Kuroo! This was honestly so much fun. Thanks for everything.”

“Of course. Nothing but the best for you. I just need one little favor from you, baby.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“Can I get a kiss from your soft lips? I know you want to. I saw the way you kept staring at me, today.”

“Oh.. uhh.. Y-yea-yeah. Sure, of course.. Yeah,” you stammered. 

You looked at him with soft, shy eyes and before you knew it, he leaned in quickly and kissed you on the lips. Your eyes were wide open in surprise but as he deepened the kiss, your eyes slowly shut.

The kiss felt like electricity coursing through your body. You didn’t know what it was, but this man definitely already had you wrapped around his long, slender finger. 

As soon as you realized his hold on you, he backed off, and left you wanting more. He was such a tease.

“I can’t just let you have everything today, kitten. I need you wanting more.”

You didn’t know what to respond so you looked down at the ground shyly. 

“I’ll message you later, y/n. Don’t make me wait too long, again.”

You waved and muttered, “Thank you, Kuroo.”

He revved up his bike and was gone in seconds.

You remained in a daze as you walked back up to your apartment. Once you got inside, you plopped down on your couch and released a long sigh. “Who knew that college was going to be so exciting..”

[link to kuroo pic i found]

[bbweeb]

so i was asked to expand on tsuki getting catfished by kuroo and kenma so here it is lol (ive never written a full hc like this so idk pls be nice 🥺 also i hope yall like it bc it was rly fun for me to write) and here is the link to the random hcs post i made that started this and ty to @coatfandom for asking for this lol

the first time, yamaguchi convinced tsuki to get animal crossing so they could play together after showing him all the bugs, sea creatures and most importantly the fossils you could collect.

tsuki was dedicated to completing the museum however there were a few fossils he could not find, which led him to nookazon where he met applepi selling some of the fossils he needed.

applepi aka kenma scammed tsuki by up charging on everything tsuki wanted but couldn’t get (fossils, rare bugs, art (that was fake) and etc)

tsuki also gave kenma a lot of bells and nook miles tickets (and a playlist that kenma still listens to) thinking he was a pretty girl from another prefecture (tsuki would never admit it but he had a fat crush and they flirted a lot)

eventually kenma got bored of lying and scamming and ghosted tsuki and that was that (ngl tsuki was pretty bummed about it)

another time kuroo happened to find tsuki on a random discord server (i feel like kuroo is rly good at doing different voices and can do it easily)

so kuroo pretended to be a girl named tori and they went back and forth for awhile, chatting online, doing voice calls (kuroo had to pull the old “my webcam is broken” line when tsuki asked lmao)

there were a lot of flirty/dirty science jokes/pick up lines going back and forth.. “you must be made of fluorine, iodine and neon because you’re so F I Ne” “are you a carbon sample because i wanna date you” “hey are you a paleontologist? because ive got a massive bone in my pants for you to study”

anyways they exchanged lots of photos (kuroo telling tsuki that he is borrowing his friend’s cellphones to take the photos (when rly he is on pinterest and instagram snatchin photos) bc tsuki questions everything after applepi)

they dont send nudes but kuroo has gotten a random shirtless picture from tsuki after practice.

kuroo doesnt really want anything out of it, he’s not trying to blackmail anyone he just finds it entertaining to be someone else online.

anyways, ‘tori’ and tsuki continue talking for awhile.. when tsuki has a game against nekoma. tsuki was acting all cocky, talkin shit as he does when kuroo pulled out receipts.

“oh yeah? you’re not nervous to play against nekoma? thats not what you told tori 20 minutes ago” and the color drains from tsuki’s face as tanaka, noya and sugawara are thoroughly entertained by the situation.

tsuki is embarrassed but also trying to keep it on the low low. he is also pissed off and denys everything.

he insists he doesn’t know what kuroo is talking about and on the bus ride home he blocks ‘tori’ and refuses to admit to anything even though tanaka and noya keep pestering him about it. (they dont believe him hehe)

[finding-the-daylight]

Today has been a very stressful day, so guess wtf time it is? Drunk Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. Here is what I soberly remember of the movie (I have not watched it since BD2 came out): 

1. There’s a wedding.

2. There’s a honeymoon.

3. There’s swimming in the ocean.

4. There’s an accidental pregnancy.

5. The baby almost kills Bella.

6. The canon incident that we all hate happens.

7. The Volturi evilly laugh. 

Same as Eclipse, my drunken narration of the movie will be below the break.

A brief intro statement, I was 100% sober and just beginning to drink at the beginning of the Eclipse post and progressively got more drunk. For BD1, I’m throwing back before I even start watching this shit show.

- I love the effects of the intro. it’s very calming. THe putting away childish things quote is literally a Bible verse. I hate that Stpehen appropriated Quileute culture, Christian culture, and every culture. I know she’s mormon but sitll. THis shit feels real appropriated.

- Idk why rennee is all happy. she never gave a shit before.

- OMG ALICE TEHCING BELLA TO WALK IN HEELS IS THE CUTEST ICRY.

- carlisle carryign the bench is literally the hottest hting i’ve ever seen fck

- lowkey kinda creeprd out because she’s literally sacrificing her humanity to marry this deud she’s known for like a year but everyone other than jacob is super supportive

- damn she’s looking @ this dreamcatcher and it’s making me sad but tbh that shit probably caused half her nightmares because she’s not native so sleep paralysis (if you know you know).

- DAMN EDWAD RELALY JUST ADMITTED HE’S BEEN A VIRGING FOR OVER 100 YEARS WHAT AB RAVE MAN WE STAN

- BUT FOR REAL WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING TF OUT THAT SHE’S LITERALLY BEGGING TO DIE FOR THIUS DUE?

- he just todl her hes killed people and explained it and it didn’t work she’s still down to clown with this vapire emo boi

- HOW HE’S SMILTING @ HR WTF I AM SO ALONEEEE

- i just wama ne im loved amd ne loved in retun plz

- this dream sequence is awful also fck the volturi is til hate that they never overthrew that crabbyass monarchy bullshit they were powerful enough

- i just wanna be like rosalie when i greow up

- charlie knew shit was off when he saw those crapsk 

- why the HELL is renen actin liks she cares? bitch go the fuck back home

- jessica is the only one with any damn common sense in this whole series talking about they’re too fucking young for this shitt bitch true and itm akes sene now why she was the valedictioajrn 

- SLEEPING AT LAST IS THT GROUP IDK IF YALL HAVE HEARD ANY OF HTEIR OTHER STUFF BUT THEY’RE AMAIZNG AND I USED TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP # THAT SHIT

- damn id’ be fuckign panicking too your lfie is over hoe 

- stpeheen sto pwiht your racist ass smiling its offensive

- CHARLIE FUCKING DEWEVRE BETTER SOMEONE LOVE HIM PLEASR

- this wedding is gorgoeus though i live for hte fuckj g aestiec 

- OH MY GORD THE PROM SONGGGGGGGG  FCK ME RIGHT IN THE EMO 

- IT JUST HIT ME WHN THEY WRE LOOKI  @ EACH OTHERS EYES THIS BTCH REALLY MARYING AN UNDRSF VAMPIRE HOE this shit is horryighn why was i not scare?

- carlisle is the love of y life

- sth is a lil ray of sunishen 

- i just reaized howd fucked it is that sue and chalrie are starng to catch feelz ut sue knows his daughter is funckugn off with a unded vamp emo iboi

- OMG I FCUKING HATE STEPHENE RACIST ASS I LEGIT MADE AP OST EARLIER SYAING LAURENT WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING ANDWOUVLEBE BEND A VEGETATIAN BITCH AND IRENEA CONFIRMED FCK THIS SHIT IM OUT ANG ANGRY

- charlie is gget ing drunk as hell my spiritn animel

- jesica is smart and beautiful she needs t os stop being jealous and petty know ya wotht girlie you got itl

- I SWEAR WHEN IGET MARRIED OSMEDAY IF ANYONE GIVES A SPEECH LIKE THIS I WILL PERSONALLY DRAGT HER ASS OUT.

- edwar lves her so much fck im all alone\

- how haoph hacob is when they hig i hate canonn they were best friends fc,

- jacob stay the fck outta her sex life she;s been wanting this for ad dman year fkc steohe let them jsut befriend

- steh is so swert but e is a chidl fck the is reacist plot bulshit

- CHARLIE DESEVRD BETTR FCK THIS PLOT FOR REAL I HAE CANON

- bela looks os ad she knows it’s goodbye but edward’s family is all smiling because they have her now hwat fthe ckc

- jac0bs cryng my heart brke

- i love bineg dunk 

- the scene isn rio is my faorite isn any of the movies eveyrhting looks warm and happy

- this bich can drive ab oat too damn he can just fod evryhin cant he

- CARLISLE BOUGHT A WHOEL DAMN ISALND FOR HIS WIFE AND I CANT ECVE GET A TEXT BACK? 

- deis this honeymon scene make anuone else unconmfy becuae same

- marying a vampire would be horrying af but also hot af and good af becuase htye oculd love so much and protect you from everythign fck 1-/10 woukd efeel safe

- bwll gaving a panic attakc ism e anyt tinme i try talking to an attractive man

- slepeign at last fckign ti up agin bit ch theis m yshit 

- when he said it was the best night i cred 

- tstoehe added the chess game like this shit is a hoje but i would love to play chess on my honemodn idk how uut  i want a man to each me but not mansplin

- WHY THE FUCJ AR THEY SO CTE ON THIS AMN HONEYMOON?

- i know i sadn it was horryig but i want a hotass vamp emo boi husband plas 

- damn jacob is being too emo she aint really gonan be ded for ever youll see her agianb itch

- ‘CULLENS ARE NOT A DNAGER TO THE TOWN OR TRUBE” BITCH IB EG TO FUCKIN DIFFER THIS SHIT BIOLOGICAL WARDARE RACIST ASS STPEHEN WRITING THIS FUCKING BULLTSIT

- ‘NONE OF THEM BELONG TO THEMSEVLES ANYGMROE” - SOMEONE SAID IT BITCH THSI SHIT IS FUCKRE IP

- i fucking hates these vamp racist bitches but i want a nonracist va,p husband bitch thus hot afck

- how tf does she not know shes rpegr yet eatin this weid ass shit?

- THESE FKERS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES TLAKING BOU IDK IF ITS VEEN POSSIBEL BTICH YU SHOULD FUCKUGN KNO BY NOW

- ROVERT SPOEAKIN G PORTGUEVE IS SO KING ATRACTIV

- poor bella her life chaned so uqick and she[s soc scared fck dcnaon

- POOR CHARLIE I HATE THIS HE DESERVES TO BE LOVED AND TURTH TOLD

- ROSALEI IS THE EST 

- “YOU LOOK TERRBLE’ THIS IS THE FRIENDHSOP WE WANT WHYT THE FCK DOES FOPSTHE RUIN EALL THIS SHIT

- CARLISE IS FUNCIGJ HOT

- LIRALY BITCH I JUST WNAT A PURE FIRENDHSIP WUTH JACOB AND BELLA ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE FJC CAON

 - this montage is turopy a f when youre drunk waht the helc por jake thugh

- im sorry but i;n laughign my ass off at these fuckugn wolf vocie overs lmaoooo this shit hilarious

- SETH HAS SUCH A PURE HEART WHTY TF DID SPTEHEH RUIB HUS FUCJING CHILDHOOD BULTHIST

- WHY IS EVEYRIJE BSUCG AFUCKUGN BUTCG TO LEAH???? SHE DESEVRED THE FUCKING WORLD STPEHEN IS A RACISHT BITCHHHHHH

- calisbe is fos unicngn hot

- i just reaized robert is like the best fuckugn actor like this diolaguge is wha k as fuck btu he’s acitng all emo boi oscar worhty shti

- they realy had her fuckin drink blodo i hate cannjnonnn

- ifelel the same as kaje watchign this 

- but carlisle’s prety face made it all fuckig hetter

- FUCKRT HIS SHTI CHARLIE DESERVED BETTER HE’S THE BEST DAD FCK CANO NFUCK STEPRHNE 

- okay ut id is cute as fkc whe nedward hears the baby 

- esme and calrisle wilougn to risk their lives for bella i cryi

- fkc i really do hate cnaon because jake is acting liek an adult now and trying to do the honrble thig bue he should be a hpaoy chidl 

-  resnemsien is a ficking ridjcils name and we all fuckj nnew

- i ahte this part i’n bot even wathcing this shit rgros me rout 

- WHY THDID FUCK DID THIS BITCH HAVE A FUKCUNG SYRINGE OG VENOM LAYING AORUND? HOE!?!?!

- literlaiy fuick the dynamics of this whole moty hfknfucjg storyline plot bitch

- LEAH AND STHE DESERVERD BETTER

- SO DID JACOB

- SO DID ALL THE WOLFPAKC STPEHEN IS A RACIST AS SHOE

- aw hell here the fucks we hgo with theu ickgn im************** bulshit i ghate cnaojn canon can suck ad ick

- YES BILLY DEFEND YOUR CHIDL 

- rosalie is literally perfect when cnai b ehr 

- im real glad im drunk rin now because ioculd nto sit throguh this shit sober

- imp&******* is the worst plotline fkc]

- bit iamgiben falling alseo lookin gsick and waking up fhot as uck goals

- this sogn making me cry literlalu imcruing ims o alone lmao

- rheye really ended htoe move wirh red eyws lmaoooo

- hodl the fick up a damn minute stpeehebn producre htis cufkcng shit?

- now heres the hoes iv’ve been waiting on burnt the monarch fuckwits i hate thes epompis fuckers

- OVERTURBR THESE FUCKSERS THEY HAVE TIOO MUCH POWR 

CARLISR COULD FUCKING D OI T I HATE CNAON BRING THE VAMPIRE DECONOARCY

- OOHG BRUNNO MARS BRINGNG THE FUCKING SIMPSSHOES ANTHM I NEEDLOVE IT

[unmanageable-day]

Wtf i'm writing a doyoung fic where my OC gurl jena is seeking for support for her relationship, and now irl my sister seems to be seeking for support too for a not-so-clear-what-kind-of-relationship-it-is (lyk omg they're not even a thing) which I DO NOT APPROVE and yes i'm not alone because my sister from another mother and her buddies also do nOT APPROVE. i mean duh this guy is trash. as people with brain and some sanity of course we will protecc our sister, yes call me overprotective, yall would do the same honestly. at least my 'taeil' in the fic is not a fudging flirtatious scumbag full of sweet talks acting like he's the man ughhhh. and sadly there is no 'doyoung' in my sister's life who is ready to snatch her away, but imho we dont really need it when we could just walk away and ignore that hypocrite douchebag. my sister is way too nice to speak rude or to be ignorant like i do lol but seriously what should i do 🙄 i'm pretty sure that she just mistakes her feelings since she gets treated nicely by him ugh it just makes me and my prejudices grow even stronger 🙄

on the other side, this actually could be a good story plot lol if there's anyone up to write based on this true story, please feel free to do so 🤣 no need to credit me 🤣🤣 but i would love to read it if someone does

A TAKE HOME MESSAGE FOR YOU DEAR GIRLS: never be with a man who is hypocrite, has two faces. the moment you know that he's that type of flirty guy, i'd say leave him. you need to be able to distinguish whether he is genuinely kind to all people or it's just another face of his to keep his reputation being a "nice guy". find a man who shows you a good respect, okay!!!

[hotseok]

hE IS SO FINE YALL HE’S SO F I NE I AINT EVER WANTED TO RISK IT ALL FOR A MAN LIKE THIS EVER

[parkjmini]

090518: serendipity

okay so here’s my shitpost recap of all of my feelings about seeing jimin perform serendipitydoo irl: 

alright before i even start right, they performed the snippet of save me and it lead into i’m fine. THIS WAS THE 2ND AND 3RD SONG THEY PERFORMED BTW HAHAHA i cried, i bawled, i was S O B B I NG during i’m fine, like yall know jimin’s part in the chorus where he sings abt sunshine and how he’s fine like FU CK I WAS NOT F I NE 

everytime his face came onto the big screens and he was singing how he was fine, i would start crying again like i didn’t kno what came over me. i guess it was bc i’ve seen him grow the past 5 years and how much he’s been through as a person and him saying those lyrics i was like wow my baby is fine! he’s finally fine!!! like wow!!! 

okay anyways, here’s the thing. they played vcrs before every solo stage so i knew jimin’s and namjoon’s were the next two solos coming up (i canNOT believe they went in for the double kill like jimin AND nams???? fuck off bts) and i was hype, my best friends were hyping me up like “yo your mans coming up” and im like “ya hoe im here, im ready imma sing my heart out”

hahhahahahhahahaahahahhaahha when the concert hall went all dark and the back track for serendipity came on....for some odd reason....... i fcking... f r o z e like i tensed up like a mf. They had banners that were passed out and i was hugging my banner vertically like it was some body pillow, afraid to let go 

The lights came on and Jimin appeared in the middle of the frking stage in his outfit and his backup dancers and he was so shiny and sparkly and he was singing serendipity and everyone was losing their shit and SCREAMING/CHEERING !!!! i STOOD THERE, silent ! not a word! and im the type of person at concerts to scream/sing my head off 

but i was so... mesmerized by the man of my dreams performing. like a strange epiphany washed over me, i fucking love park jimin. i have so much love with park jimin. ive always been like yea that’s my baby i love him and all but, it really really hit me like a truck just as to how much i actually loved this man who prob didn’t even kno i was dazed for him just by seeing him IN PERSON. HE WAS REAL IT ALL FELT SO REAL??? (okbut also side note, even tho i was there, it didnt rlly feel like i was there?? like it didn’t actually feel like i saw bts, mayb so fake bts group but that was THE jimin of my life, THE one i run a whole goddamn tumblr abt... mayb it just didnt rlly settle in me that i was at the bts concert....)

he left me speechless and it felt like it was only me and him in the entire stadium which was probably insane bc there were over 15,000 screaming ppl there but i couldn’t hear anyone but jimin singing... my friends disappeared from my space too, like i was in my own world with that guy

and the feelings i felt were calm, serenity, safe. omg ohm yGOD, i dont kno what clicked in my head mayb i was overwhelmed with him, bc he’s born to be a star that’s that, and for how my love for jimin was overspilling my brims. i couldn’t move, i wanted to film a piece of it so i could look back on it but i couldn’t take my eyes off of his solo stage 

i just had so much admiration and shit, i was proud as hell for him. to see him performing a solo, with such confidence and charisma was astonishing. i kno im a writer and all but i cant even find the perfect words to exactly pinpoint how his serendipity stage made me feel. i still cannot regurgitate what was running through my head bc i felt everything in my heart 

it was only when the stage ended and one of my friends hugged me that i realized that i had been lost in my own world w jimin and i had just been wide eyed and immersed in the wonders of jimin and i’ve never felt a feeling as strong as that in my entire life 

[dreamscatch]

tag game

sorry i saw @btshasmeshooketh doing a tag game thing and i wasn’t literally even tagged in this but i’m v bored and sitting in the car again so you bet i’ll answer any random questions I’M VERY SORRY AND ALSO TAG ME IN THINGS OR SEND ME ASKS I AM SUPER BORED

( a )ge: 18

( b )irthplace: finland

( c )urrent time: 21:39

( d )rink you had last: drinking raspberry sparkling water atm

( e )asiest person to talk to: my sister

( f )avourite song: paradise by bts is my favourite at the moment but my all time favourite song is far too young to die by panic! at the disco

( g )rossest memory: i was like 3 and i was absolutely terrified of my neighbours’ huge dog and one time he licked me and stole my cap and i literally cried for like hours lol i thought it was gross how my cap was wet with dog drool

( h )ogwarts house: slytherin

( i )n love: with music

( j )ealous of people: sometimes yes but i try my best not to compare myself to others

(k)illed someone: no thank god!!

( l )ove at first sight: nope

( m )iddle name: maria

( n )umber of siblings: 2

( o )ne wish: to be able to graduate from high school with great grades

( p )lace you want to live: japan!! or amsterdam. ( @btshasmeshooketh lol you said you want to live in northern europe or somewhere snowy so you have to come visit finland in like january!! tbh i usually get kinda sick of snow because we have it for like 9 months a year :’DD)

( r )easons to smile: music, dancing, friends

( s )ong you sang last: homemade dynamite by lorde

( t )ime you woke up:  9:30 am

( u )nderwear color: white

( v )acation destination: i’m going to london this summer which i’m very excited about!!

( w )orst habit: ripping off the skin around my nails

( x )rays: i’ve had like so many tbh

( y )our favorite food: pizza from that specific pizza place we used to have in my town but they closed it for some reason and i still miss it so much 

( z )odiac: cancer

i’ll tag some random cool people that i see in my notifications or tl like @journey-to-the-unknown @thefangirltheycallviolet @221bvisitor @euphoricbangtan @neverovskii but yall don’t need to do this if you don’t want to and also anyone else can consider themselves tagged as well (like i did haha let’s not talk about that)!!

[sunnysidewrites]

Flower Boy!Jeonghan

Requested by anon: Flower boy Jeonghan!!  

HEY HEY HEY GUESS WHO FINALLY PICKED UP THE SLACK AND WROTE THIS AFTER AN ENTIRE WEEK OF PROMISING TO :))) I’m so sorry yall this was supposed to be part of Jeonghan’s bday present but rip!!! THANKS TO @kakaotaeks FOR HELPING ME OUT WITH THIS!! who knows where this would be if i didn’t use the flower boy cafe au yIKES!! happy belated bday my angel + devil!! happy reading my children!!!

warnings: i still have 1 last super angsty piece for jeonghan, so i tried to make this p fluffy :))) and who knows when i’ll even finish that piece so :))) hang on tight to this fluff while you can! and also jeonghan is a cheesy goofball who’s bad at literature

This was originally gonna be Florist!Jeonghan but thank the heavens y’all don’t have to read the lame idea I had before elena came up w this

Shoutout to my b!!!

BASED ON OURAN KISS KISS FALL IN LUV

tHIS IS SO CUTE OK OK LETS GET 2 WORK

You’re in your usual literature class lecture hall and you’re sitting a few rows behind,,,,

The one and only, Yoon Jeonghan

Campus heartthrob

With looks like that though??? Can scREW ME UP

You’re staring at the back of his fluffy blonde locks as he studiously scribbles down his notes in his beaten torn notebook

Every time you try to refocus on the professor, your eyes just drift back to his short hair that looks a little too tempting to run your fingers through

By the time you prep yourself to focus on taking notes for the twentieth time that hour, everyone is packing their things and you’re like n OO OO NOT AGAIN

“Let me guess: Jeonghan?” Your friend nonchalantly brings up as they’re stuffing their folder in their bag

You sigh and get up to pack your things along

“I don’t even know why he’s so distracting… just something about him”

They’re shaking their head and smile knowingly bc it’s just so damn oBV I O US WHY

“You know that hot cafe that just opened everyone’s been raving about?”

“The Diamond? What about it?”

They smile even wider and are like, “do you know who got a job as a cute waiter?”

“,,,,,,,,,,,,What are you trying to say”

“Maybe you can finally get that number you’re always babbling about?”

And you’re like oh my god pl S STop but you’re right tho :/

You finally have some time off from your schedule to swing by the cafe down a few blocks from your dorm

You’re out on a lovely Saturday morning stroll and the strong scent of coffee beans wafts out into the streets

The cafe has only been open for an hour but there’s already a huge line

And if it weren’t for your curiosity, you would have just been like Gotta Go Fast

But you figured you would do yourself a favor and begrudgingly hold it out in the line that extends to almost the end of the street

Think of this as a cafe version of Ouran!!

Except add 7 more (excluding haruhi bc you take the protagonist’s place)

The cafe is so full that it makes you wait for the servers to take you to a table like in restaurants so it’s THAT big

No matter what time of day it is, it’s always co m ple te l y paCKED

8am when it just opens? Looks like a concert venue

Half an hour until closing time? All the tables are entirely occupied

It’s predominantly females but evEN GUYS SWOON i mean who wouldn’t tho???? When you have 13 pieces of f I N E????

Anyways when you finally reach the front of the line after 38 years, you’re like finALLY MY LEGS :((

And the bubbly little host is dressed in actual 5-star restaurant attire and he’s looking back at you like :DDDDD!!!!!!!!!! And you’re like :ooooo!!!!! :DDDDD!!!! What a cutie pie!!!!!!!

“Hello, and welcome to The Diamond! I’m Chan, your host, and I’ll be your go-to if your main server is unavailable! We’re currently waiting for a table to open up, so please be patient!” he perfectly recites and you’re just like clutching your heart bc of hoW CUTE HE IS!!!

Around 10 minutes pass and he’s notified that a table has been opened and you’re like okay,,,, this is it. This is where My Life Changes

He leads you to a cute little corner that gives you a nice little window view of the bustling streets

He gives you a menu once you’re seated and he’s like, “Okay, this is where I take off!!! Your main server will be with you shortly! If you need anything, just tap on this little bell!”

As he scurries away you’re just like :(((( why can’t you be my waiter flfjdldfskj wait I’m here for Jeonghan!!

You’re browsing through the menu and you’re appreciating all the aesthetics from the tableware to the graphics on the menu

You hear how the other waiters interact with their supporters customers as you’re waiting for yours and you could have sworn you heard Jeonghan’s name floating around

“What’s the special for today?”

“It’s the double chocolate cheesecake, honey~~”

*SCREAMS* me 2

His favorite pet name to call his supporters customers is “honey” uM IM WEAK B YE

And people seem to be ordering devil’s food cake a lot what a coincidence lmAO

A few minutes pass and you feel a presence nearing you and you casually brush it off as just a waiter passing by but oh boy!!!

“Hi honey~ What can I get you for today -- wait, Y/N?”

You’re about to chOKE ON YOUR SPIT

You look up from the desserts page and see the face that you’ve been mustering up the courage to talk to for months

“J-Jeonghan! I didn’t know you worked here!” the classic sentence starter

He lets out a small laugh in disbelief and you’re like aaaAAAA SO CUTE ST O P I T THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEART

“I haven’t seen you around here before. Is this your first time today?”

And you’re lowkey highkey blushing bc he,,,, noticed you?????

“Yeah,,,, it is,,,,,,, what do you recommend?”

He hums in thought and turns back to you, “We have the Devil’s food cake that seems to be really popular whenever I serve customers for some reason,” he chuckles and he grins that angelic yet mischievous smile

And you’re like huh :))) I :))) wonder :))) why :)))

You tell him you’ll try it out with a latte and give him the menu as he elegantly exits and leaves your heart painfully wanting to leap out of your chest

Some time passes and you’re taking in the decor and the view of the streets when he returns promptly with your food and drink

“Here you go, Y/N :)” he smiles and gently places the plates down in front of you

But honestly all you’re focusing on is how clOSE his face is when he did that

Do you imagine him to smell really nice?? Bc he probably smells like clean laundry and just fRESH AND SOFT AND--

Ahem

Little did you know his little fleeting glances at you to check your reaction of the mouthwatering sights in front of you!!!

Am i talking about the food or am I talking about Jeonghan always looking like a meal???? Guess we’ll never know

He nervously giggles and runs his fingers through his hair and you can’t help but to eye his movements bc,,,, those luscious locks,,,,

He’s like well!!! Try it!!! And you’re like ughsldgkdglh in front of you??? Right now????

He doesn’t seem to be budging anytime soon so you’re like rip ok guess so

You take your first bite and your eyes are about to bulge out of your sockets bc how in the name of the heavens can chocolate cake bE SO!!!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!! (spoiler alert: it is)

You’re looking back at him with widened eyes and a chocolate caked mouth as you’re mumbling,” ish sho gud!!”

And he’s like lmAO YOU’RE SO CUTE-- I mean,, yes,,, yes it is

And he gestures at your mouth and says “you have a little something uh,,,, everywhere LOL” and you’re like lsdjdfljd oh god i wanna dig up a hole and bury myself forever!!! And you hastily grab the napkin and wipe the chocolate crumbs off

And you two are so off in your own little world that both of you fail to notice the attention the other customers are directing towards you

Because Jeonghan nEVER, and I mean NE V ER, acts that naturally to a customer

It’s all a bunch of his favorite pet name, “honey,” and some winking tossed in his light flirting

But laughing? Having a really good time? Acting like friends? Joking? Not once!!!

And everyone is like Who Are You And Tell Me Your Secrets

He strikes up a conversation with you so easily and you’re so taken aback bc why would he be talking to an invisible soul like yours??? What’s happening with the world???

“Did you ever get the project turned in?”

And you’re really confused like,,,,, yes??? What???

And he sheepishly smiles, his ears a little red iM YODELING

“I just,,, overheard you worry about how much your partner was slacking off when you were talking to your friend that day,,,, that really sucks :(“

And you’re just like o H!!! Omg

“It’s all taken care of, don’t worry!!! At least i hope so,” you mutter

And you can feel his hesitance and you’re like ???? what is it??

“Maybe you need a new partner for a change? Our professor mentioned our next project can have us choose our own partners,,,, and you seem to be really good at this class,,,,,”

And you wanna laUGH bc you’re literally just there to stare at the back of his head

But he’s like you always know the answers whenever she calls on you????

“It doesn’t take a genius to know what the types of irony are, Jeonghan”

“hEY IM TRYING MY BEST THAT’S WHAT MY NOTES ARE FOR”

And you’re like,,,, do you need a tutor???

He lights up and his cheeks are stained a light pink aND IM CRYING IN THE CLUB

“yES! I mean, yes. Yes. Please. Here, I’ll give you my number”

What you feel: IM SCREAMING INTO THE ABYSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I JUST GOT YOON JEONGHAN’S NUMBER, AN ACTUAL ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What you say: Oh, sure!

You both do a number exchange and literally everyone in that cafe is just on the floor like hOW DID YOU????? WH A T????

And Chan calls him and he not-so-subtly hints about how he’s been talking to you for way too long and everyone in line is complaining LOL

He regretfully looks at you and you nod sadly in understanding

“I’ll catch you later this week,” you say and he’s about to turn around when he stops and turns back

“Are we meeting for a study da-- sESSION?”

And you’re like what did you say--

“I said study session”

“.....I’m free Saturday”

“I’ll meet you at the library,” he gives you one last grin before winking and walking away and you’re like eXCUSE ME WHAT DOES THAT MEAN SIR

You shake your head but you can’t suppress the gigantic smile that your lips involuntarily make

You take the mug in your hands and you notice the latte art is a picture of a heart

You’re like scREAMING BC ITS SO CHEESY BUT YOU LIKE IT

And now you finally have a reason to pay attention in your literature class if you gotta tutor a potential college bf in your study da--session!!!!

[thejockthenerdthemustang]

Right everyone its Time for another hella Personal post.

SO as many of you know by now im a fan of a lot of Pop Punk Bands. Well recently a lot of the Bands i love have been accused of a lot of hella bad shit.

AND guys its fucking harrowing, like Fuck, why do I always wind up stanning the shit heads.

SO yea im not quite in a good headspace right now and im not looking for sympathy just needed to let this shit out. But yea im not in a good headspace right now people who've helped my through some Dark times are actually some of the WORST people and it fucking sucks.

BUT im listing each one right here because i have some words to fucking say;

W*th Conf*dence

To L*ke Ro*kets YOU are the Most disgusting and awful human being, you are gross and creepy and i hope you fucking rot in hell you Slimy little fucking cunt, there are no words that truely Describe my anger

To Ja*den S*eley God I hope your not lying but even so the Young and dumb excuse is fucking shaky and you will be gettibg no more support from me, your apology was the best i've seen so far and im glad youce admitted to your guilt but still i can not stand by you any longer

To Jo*h And I*i im sorry both of your reputations have been dragged into the mud by the above filth and i will try to support you in your upcomming descions, please dont make me regret supporting you both

P*V

M*ke Fue*tes your fucking gross, like realky fucking gross

A*stin Carli*e Fuck you dude just straight up fuck you

P*te We*tz i get this shit is old but still dude it was fucked up and theres no two ways about it

B*endon U*ie dude stop your no BI ally and My pan ass is gonna Kick yours also STOP. BEING. A DICK. TO. DALLON.

F*l D*ni from N*ck De*p WTF YOU TWO, im sorry but seriously what you both did is fucked up and gross go Die in a hole thank you.

A*stin J*nes tho hopefully yall know how gross he is, I just wanted it add a big old FUXK THE HELL TO YOU YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT GO BURN IN HELL

Anyway i've had a wild week so far and if any of you want recipts or more info on any of the above do not be afraid to Message me.