#hes the type to call his momma a bitch and then cry for 2 hours straight every day over her bcuz he cares so much

[rewritingcanon]

hot take (maybe?) but sirius was walburga’s fav child because he was the most like her at his worst

[eccl3ctic0n3]

This Is My Personal Testimony of How God Found Me When I Was Lost.

I Am A Witness and My Testimony is of Jesus Christ the living Word of God

What you FEEL and what you THINK are valid and extremely powerful as these are the things you BELIEVE to be TRUTH thus this is your REALITY!

This is your belief system. Unless you suffer from mental illness therapy and counseling can be very helpful. Just talking about it and getting it off your chest is therapeutic in itself. No matter if it is a friend or a therapists getting things out instead of bottling them up and holding them in is great relief.

I was diagnosed bipolar type I when I was 23 years old. I am 41 now and it has only been in the last 5 years that I have been able to overcome, heal, grow, and experience breakthrough.

Traumatic experiences such as verbal, mental, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse to losing a loved one or friend has a lifelong affect. Therapy and medicine are just tools to help you and give you the skills, knowledge, and some understanding, so you can cope and learn how to manage with the pain and symptoms that remain.

I don't know who needs to hear this but I am telling you from 18 years of personal experience. Actually, 41 years as its only been 18 since I began treatment. Where doctors and medicine failed me for 13 years God did not fail me. I got lab ratted on all that time with powerful psychiatric medications. I spiraled out of control and my behavior landed me in the psychiatric ward of prison in the infirmary. 10 weeks I was locked in solitary confinement on 24 hour lock. I was deemed incompetent and unfit to stand trial. I was looking at two F1 Felonies with sentences from 5-99 years each. For 10 weeks I literally lost my mind and was experiencing full blown psychosis. It was in an instant that God found me and restored me to sanity. I did not find God. He found me.

I was lost and could not tell the difference between my dreams and reality. I slept in 15 minute intervals. In one dream I dreamt that I murdered my two children. I bashed my daughters head into the wall. My reality was this place I was in where no other person is visible was like a purgatory and I was awaiting my judgment to be thrown into hell.

I was on my knees in my boxers bleeding from my head and knuckles. I was head butting and punching the walls. As I was on my knees I was singing, ''My Girl, My Girl, Talkin Bout, My Girl." I was only thinking of my daughter and that I was never going to see her again.

The guy in a cell next to me screamed, " Shut the fuck up!" I just screamed back and told him to come on over and shut me up. What was he going to do we are in solitary confinement. 😅

I lost track of time and I was still singing and I began to cry out to God. Literally bawling and begging I screamed for God to help me. Don't you know the guy who cursed me came to my door and asked me to call his momma for him to bail him out. I laughed and said ain't you the same mother fucker who told me to shut up? Before he answered I just said whatever! Just write the number on a piece of paper and slide it under my door and I will get to it.

Mind you that for those 10 weeks I could not even read or use the telephone because I just didn't know how. The hands on the clock just spun round and round. Still on my knees sobbing I noticed the piece of paper slide under my door. I forgot all about it and I couldn't read or use a phone anyway. But I looked closer and I seen the red writing. This guy tore the last page of his bible out to write the number on. The red writing just caught my eyes and the first thing I seen was this. Revelations 22:16 I Jesus, have sent My angel to you to testify in the churches. I am the Root and Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star. As fast as you could snap your fingers I realized that I could read first of all. I then noticed I felt completely normal. I was just wondering wtf am I doing in my boxers bleeding on this floor? 😅 I got up took a shower and cleaned up. The guard came by and stopped giving me a strange look and asked if I was ok. I just said Im fine Im waiting on lunch its almost noon. I could read the time cause the hands stopped spinning.

Finally I got to use the phone and I called home and asked how long I was there. I said 2 weeks? My mom said you been there almost 3 months. I did 6 months and got both charges dropped down to a misdemeanor and 4 years probation. 2 years was deferred. I literally signed out of jail on a PR Bond. No fines, fees, or court costs at all.

That was 5 years ago in October. I never could forget or deny what happened. I knew immediately what the verse meant and what I was told to do. So I have done it this entire time everyday almost on social media.

I had never read a bible before and I was far away from God. I was really on the fence about the whole Jesus thing. What I know now and I knew at that moment was this. Jesus is God! He is the Father, the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of God and of Christ. There is only one. Omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and Sovereign Lord over all of creation.

I believe the words of the verse exactly for what they said. He sent an angel to me which is a ministering spirit and a messenger. I got the message loud and clear. So I do exactly as He has told me to.

It has been 5 years and I have not even had a cold. My doctor is weaning me off medications. It was by no means an easy 5 years at all. I suffered with overcoming addiction and the mental illness symptoms I was and still am learning to cope and manage.

There is one thing I learned in addition to all these things since then in talk therapy. I was raised by two narcissistic, one mentally ill, and completely abusive except sexually.

After all those years and all those medications and numerous doctors did not do for me what the Great Physician did in a moment of time.

Don't get me wrong. God has revealed to me that He has gifted these doctors, nurses, therapists, and the scientists or chemists that make these medications. Give or take these crooked sons of bitches.

Just know that God is Hope. Faith or Belief and any good thing at all about man is of God. He is Love. How is Jesus God? All things are possible with God. Just trust Him. Don't worry or be afraid. He has commanded us to be strong and courageous for He is with us wherever we go. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is faithful to keep His word. If He said it. He meant it. It is the Truth. Jesus said His words are Spirit and Truth. These words are Life and Jesus is the Way. The one and only true living God is the living Word of God. He was manifest in the flesh. The holy bible has been tampered with by man and today even more with hundreds of versions. However, man is foolish to think he could ever stop the Power of the Spirit and Truth that is the Word of God Jesus Christ.

Is the Father the Son or the Spirit? Is He 3 in one or one in 3? Don't split hairs with vain debates and argumentative subjects that no man can answer. There are simply things of God that man will never understand. Our finite minds cannot imagine, fathom, dream, or even comprehend the great things of God. He just said don't trip. I got this. Be still and know. Trust Me and Believe In Me. Have Faith! Never give up Hope. Without Hope this Life has no purpose and we have meaning at all. There is just certain death. Then we are worm food.

If it is all just a big story and we die only to find out that's it just black and nothing then fine with me. If we die and it is true and we chose not to simply believe and have the faith the size of a mustard seed. We'd be cursing ourselves not God from hell forever. We would know He was right and we have no defense or a word to say before the righteous Judge.

Life and death. Facts. Choose life or death. It is the most logical, reasonable, sane, and simple choice for anyone in their right mind. So anyone who says its blind faith and completely disregards facts, logic, or reason. You know just as God says. He has used the foolishness of this world for His wisdom. He makes those who are wise in their own eyes, puffed up with pride, and too stubborn or hard hearted to simply admit they do not know. Men fear what they do not know. Rightfully so. You should fear God. Both revere and be a very afraid of the One that can take your life and cast your soul into hell. He gives and takes away. Simple as that.

So remember no matter what the situation or circumstances shit is just temporary. All good things must come to an end. As do the bad. So suck it up, be strong and courageous. Has He not commanded us? He is with you wherever and nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

To anyone suffering right now I am by no means minimizing your pain. I feel you 1000% You don't have to believe a word from me. Just know there is someone who is always with you and you are not helpless or alone. You may be weak and in complete darkness that seems like hell. God is light in the darkness. He has the keys to death and hell. So weather life or death, heaven or hell. You gotta trust and believe in Jesus. If not it is your own doing. Most of our problems are self inflicted we bring em on ourselves.

This may be the hardest part for me to tell someone in depression just dwelling and can't let go. Do you know what depression is. It is YOUR THOUGHTS and YOUR FEELINGS. It is therefore YOUR BELIEF and thus YOUR REALITY!

This is self-centeredness. Depression for a while that is justified is one thing. Wallowing in SELF-PITY with the attitude WOE IS ME. MY LIFE SUCKS and nobody understands or knows what I I I am going through. No one could possibly relate to YOUR SUPERIOR PROBLEMS! GET OUT OF YOURSELF for a while. Have an attitude of gratitude. You are alive and if you can feel emotions and you woke up today then you KNOW that you are alive. LIFE is a gift from of GOD. He so loved all of us that He GAVE HIS LIFE so that anyone who BELIEVES in HIM Should Not Perish...SHOULD NOT! But HAVE RIGHT NOW AS IN THIS PRESENT MOMENT. EVERLASTING LIFE. God gave us HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE the FREE GIFT of SALVATION is the LORD OUR GOD JESUS CHRIST the ONLY BEGOTTEN of the EVERLASTING FATHER the King of Israel is the Holy One (Christ) or Anointed (Messiah) our SAVIOR and REDEEMER. Not by might nor by power but by that Holy Spirit of PROMISE which is the PLEDGE of our inheritance.

The only reason one would die when God gave us His Life so that anyone whomsoever at all Believes. The Way is the Truth and He has become our Salvation. He is the very HOPE, FAITH, and LOVE that abides forever. LOVE being the greatest. No one SHOULD die. It is a choice!!! Just like you choose to wake up and be grateful saying Thank You God. Bless you Lord Jesus for the Spirit translated "Breath or Air" of Life and the LIGHT we all see and we have heard the word of God preached and proclaimed to us all. So no one has an excuse to even say I Dont Believe! That is our free will and choice. Another gift from God. He wants you to choose Jesus and dont worry but be happy. Rejoice!! Make some noise!! God is good all the time. All the time God is good. We all have a reason for the very BREATH of LIFE that was blown into Adam's nostrils and he became a living soul. Adam just means man. Human. In His image and likeness. Male and female created He them. If you believe in Jesus and the Good News aka Gospel of the Kingdom and Eternal Life you have every reason on every Day the Lord has made to be grateful and choose to be happy. The Eternal One is the Alpha and Omega. The Ancient of Days is the First and the Last. The Almighty. Beginning and End. Genesis to Revelation. Death and Life He gives and takes away.

I pray you don't waste another moment having a pity party if you don't have an actual reason to be stuck feeling sad for an excessive period of time. It is selfish. Ungrateful.

Your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS are powerful. They are YOURS though. You and you alone have a God given free gift of grace to Think for yourself and Regulate or Control Your Feelings and Emotions. It takes time and it's a process of growing up and becoming a man or woman. He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, AND A SOUND MIND. SELF DISCIPLINE your MIND. We have the MIND of Christ. The Spirit of God and of Christ. The Kingdom of heaven is within. God the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit is all within. What does it say? The Word is near to you, in your heart, even in your mouth.

It is Finished!

Revelation 22:16 21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

16 “I, Jesus, have sent Mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the Bright and Morning Star.”

Isaiah 44:6-8 21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

6 “Thus saith the Lord, the King of Israel, and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: I am the First, and I am the Last, and besides Me there is no God.

7 And who, as I, shall call and shall declare it, and set it in order for Me, since I appointed the ancient people? And the things that are coming and shall come, let them show unto them.

8 Fear ye not, neither be afraid. Have not I told thee from that time and have declared it? Ye are even My witnesses. Is there a God besides Me? Yea, there is no God. I know not any.”

[yukwhore]

Bodily Harm (1)

Synopsis

The story starts out with two best friends, Sienna and Marin, who are on a summer break trip to Seoul after their first year of university. They're both huge fans of the group NCT and decide to go to one of their fan-signs while they're on vacation, but a horrible accident brings them even closer to the boys than they ever would have expected. 

Hey guys~

 This is my first time trying to write a fanfic so go easy on me lmao. I really don't know if this will get any reads, it's more for me to just write down all of my ideas and storylines that I have stuck in my head.

If anyone does read this, feel free to leave me a comment and give me some feedback! I'd love to hear from someone who reads this. I'm starting this near the end of the quarter so depending on how well this goes I'll try and update as much as I can. 

WARNINGS: swearing, mention of gun violence

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"Sienna."

...

"Sienna."

A voice brought me out of my deep sleep, interrupting my dreams.

"Sienna, I swear to God, if you don't turn that fucking alarm off I'm gonna ship you back to Seattle." The voice said again, louder and more demanding. I blinked my eyes, still half asleep, and flung my arm out from beneath the blanket, scrambling for my phone that was on the bedside table. I grabbed it and smacked the "off" button, earning me a sigh of relief from my friend on the other side of the bed.

"Finally," Marin said, throwing the duvet off of her and swinging her feet to the floor. "I thought it'd take you another 2 years to turn that thing off."

"Sorry," I mumbled, my voice not yet ready for the day. "I'm guess I'm so knocked out from jet-lag that I slept right through it." I rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed and watched as Marin made her way to the bathroom and began to brush her teeth.

"You should start getting ready, Sienna." She called from the bathroom. "We only have like 3 hours until the fan-sign and theres no way I'm missing out on seeing my boys because you couldn't wake up. We're in Seoul, wake up and experience the city you nerd."

"I know, I know. Let me known when it's my turn in the bathroom." I said, pulling the covers over me to catch a few more minutes of precious sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you almost done?" Marin asked, already waiting by the door with her shoes already on.

"Almost done," I said, swiping on my mascara and putting the finishing touches on my makeup. "I just have to throw on my clothes and then we're Gucci, I swear"

Marin rolled her eyes as I ran out of the bathroom and began digging through my suitcase. "See! Almost done." I said while pulling out my outfit.

I had been planning what I would wear to this fansign ever since we bought out tickets to Seoul. After all, this was an important event. We were finally meeting our idols and, after spending so long dreaming of this moment, it was finally here. I held up my black skinny jeans, low cut tie-die top, and my ripped jean jacket. I flashed a huge grin at Marin and she groaned.

"Cute, now hurry up." She glanced at the time on her phone. "I'm giving you 2 minutes and then I'm leaving without you."

"Okay, okay." I quickly changed out of my pajamas and threw on my clothes, making sure to check my look in the small mirror hanging on the bathroom door. Satisfied with how I looked, I ran back to my suitcase and grabbed my red nike running shoes.

"You're wearing those?" Marin scoffed. She herself was wearing a loose fitting floral top tucked into a white skirt, completed with her favorite Calvin Klein slip on sandals.

"Of course I am, we have a lot of walking to do." I said while slipping my shoes on. "Don't come running to me when you start complaining about blisters, bud." She scoffed and rolled her eyes again, choosing not to listen to me. I tied my laces and ran up to her, smiling and grabbing her arm. "Lets go!"

We locked the hotel room door behind us and skipped down the hallway arm in arm, brimming with excitement.

"Are you excited to see Mark?" I asked her, squeezing her arm even tighter.

"Of course," She laughed. "Are you excited to see Lucas?"

"Who do you think I am? Of course I'm excited to finally meet the love of my life." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. We made our way through the lobby of the dingy hotel we're staying at, waving and quickly bowing at the front desk receptionist before walking through the front doors and onto the city street. The sounds of the city filled our ears, cars honking, people talking, and the faraway bark of a dog. Marin immediately ran to the curb and waved her arm for a taxi. Almost as soon as she put up her hand, a taxi pulled into the stand and a man got out.

"Annyeonghaseyo!" He said while opening the back door for us. We smiled back, bowed slightly, and climbed into the taxi. "Foreigners?" He asked while getting into the front seat.

"Yes, uh, SMTOWN?" I asked, telling him our destination.

"Ah! Yes, SMTOWN!" He said while smiling and nodding. "NCT Fans?" Marin and nodded in response as he pulled away from the curb. We were giddy with excitement, and my stomach churned from nerves. Marin noticed the look on my face and grabbed my hand, squeezing it to calm me down.

"Don't worry, they're just regular people." She assured me. "Theres nothing to be nervous about." I was so lucky to have such a good friend.

Me and Marin had known each other since 3rd grade, and she was my closest and oldest friend. We were joined at the hip and did everything together, up until she moved out of state for college this last year. Thankfully, she was home for the summer, and we were able to convince our parents to let us go on this vacation together. Personally, I was surprised my parents even agreed to let me travel to a foreign country with my friend. They were ridiculously overprotective. Even if I am a legal adult, in college, making my own money, they still want me within arms reach. Despite this, through months of begging and an entire speech about our "independence", we were able to make this trip happen. Even if my parents were calling to check on me every half hour, I had still enjoyed these past two days in Korea.

"So, whats our plan for tomorrow?" I asked Marin. She opened her purse and dug around, bringing out her meticulously organized planner and flipping through the pages.

"Well, since today is kind of a big day," She stated, giving me a wink. "Tomorrow we'll have some down time before we leave for Busan the day after. Maybe we can spend the day shopping and check out the fish markets we've heard so much about."

"Or we can sleep in and get rid of some of this jet-lag." I suggested, only half joking. Marin pinched my arm just as the car came to a stop outside of crowded auditorium-looking building.

"Ladies," The taxi driver said. "Here is SMTOWN!"

We climbed out of the side door and said our thanks to the driver, stepping to the curb as he sped away. Marin shoved her phone in my face, pointing at the time.

3:50

"We'd better start running, the fan sign starts in 10 minutes and I think they're closing the entrance soon." She said, tugging me towards the front doors. We pushed our way through the hoards of fangirls waving signs outside and jogged through the doors. Immediately, a hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around, bringing me face to face with a tall security guard. He said something to me, which neither Marin or I understood. We looked at each other in confusion.

"Ah," He said after realizing we couldn't understand him. "NCT?" He asked. We nodded in agreement.

"Ne, NCT." Marin said. He pointed to a desk across the room with other security guards behind it. We said thank you and quickly walked to the desk, pulling out our IDs and tickets once we approached it.

"Right through here." A woman said to us in English, leading us through a set of doors.

"Thank you so much!" I said bowing to her as we walked by. I turned to Marin and grabbed her arm.

"Bitch I'm gonna fucking cry, I'm gonna do it." She said dramatically, wiping away fake tears. I laughed and squeezed her arm tighter.

"As the great Troy Bolton once said, we're all in this together." I said, laughing again as we walked down the hallway and into the large open auditorium. We entered the room and were immediately blown away by how many people were there. There had to be at least 100 people crammed into the room, and the sound of all of them talking at once was ear splitting.

Me and Marin began to look for our seats and were surprised to see we were in the front row. Stepping down the stairs, we made our way through the crowd down to our designated row.

"How that for good luck!" Marin said as we squeezed past the people in our row. I noticed some dirty looks thrown our way and whispers being exchanged as we walked by. I didn't understand most of what the were saying, but the words "foreigner" and "bitch" stood out to me along with the phrase "why are they in this row?". I brushed the comments off, ultimately deciding to focus on the fact that NCT would be only a few feet away from me in just a few minutes.

We sat down and looked around us. While we waited, I took out my phone and texted my mom

Just got to the fan sign, momma! I'll call you as soon as we're done! Love you!

She responded immediately, despite it being almost midnight back home.

I love you too sweetie! Have fun, tell Lucas I said hi.

I laughed and showed it to Marin, letting her take my phone and type her own text to my mom.

I'll make sure she tells him, its always good to greet your future son in law. Love you auntie!  - Marin

"Oh my God, Marin." I took my phone from her and rolled my eyes.

"What?" She teased. "If your mom likes him its a good sign." I was about to respond when I heard another harsh whisper from behind me. Unlike before, this whisper wasn't about me and Marin. As I listened, I noticed the word "Sasaeng".

Oh shit, I thought. Is there a sasaeng here? At the fan sign?

"Dude, Marin." I tapped her on the shoulder. "Those girls behind us said something about a sasaeng." I whispered.

"Really? Here? At the fan sign?" She asked, her eyes wide open in shock.

"I mean I think so, I just heard it mentioned real quick." I explained. "Should we ask them about it?" Marin quickly shook her head, shrinking back in embarrassment.

"Us? No. You? Sure." She said, crossing her arms in front of her. Although Marin acted like the mom between us, I was the confident one. Marin wasn't afraid to do dumb things in front of me or call me on my bullshit, but got embarrassed quickly in front of other people.

I turned around and looked up at the girls behind us.

"Uh... Sasaeng?" I asked, my eyes wide with curiosity. The girls looked at each other for a moment before one of them responded.

"Ahh, ne..." She said slowly.

"Yeogi?  Here?"  I said in disbelief. The girls nodded in response. "Eodie? Where at?"

"Naneun moleunda." The other girl said, shrugging.

"What did they say?" Marin asked me.

"They said they don't know where, but there is one here." I told her. She shivered as if a cold breeze had swept by her.

"Freaky, I've heard so much about sasaengs on twitter but I've never actually been around one." She said, looking around at the people surrounding us as if she'd be able to spot the lunatic.

Just then, a familiar beat began playing throughout the auditorium, drowning out the screams of the fans.

Black, Black, Black, Black on...

"OH FUCK." I blurted out, whipping around and facing the stage. The crowd around us began to grow louder and buzz with excitement.

"Sienna, shut up oh my GOD." Marin scolded, equally excited but maintaining her composure.

"MARIN." I said, grabbing her arm. "NCT IS COMING." I shook her out of excitement and a huge smile began to form on her face. She grabbed my arm and shook me back.

"SHIT, YOU'RE RIGHT." She yelled, her composure breaking.

The MC walked out on stage and gave a short ramble, which was hard to understand since I was more focused on something else. I began looking to the sides of the stage to try and catch a glimpse of one of the boys. Just when I was beginning to think my search was pointless, I was shocked to see a face peeking out from behind the curtains, out of view from the other rows of seats behind us. I leaned forward in my chair, squinting, trying harder to make out the face.

"Wait..." I whispered to myself. "Is that... Yukhei?" The face turned towards the mass of people in the auditorium and I finally got to see it clearly.

"Oh my God." I said loudly. I could feel Marin giving me a judging look but I was too focused to bother. The familiar face slowly turned and stopped with his eyes on me.

It really is him.

We held eye contact for a few moments before I gasped in shock. My hand flew to my mouth and my eyes widened. I watched as Yukhei laughed and winked before disappearing back behind the curtain.

"Marin." I said, still starting intently at the spot Yukhei had disappeared from. "Marin, holy shit."  

"What?" She asked, giving me a weird look again.

"I think I just saw Lucas and I think he just winked at me." I said, falling back into my seat with my mouth hanging open in shock.

"You what?" She said in disbelief, twisting around to stare at me. "You're kidding. You're full of shit. Are you sick or something?" She put her hand on my forehead as if checking for a fever. "You don't seem sick, but then again, you're talking some crazy shit."

"Seriously! It just happened!" I said sincerely, receiving only a doubtful look in response.

"NCT!" We were interrupted by the MC, and both of us completely forgot what we were talking about. Me and Marin grabbed each other's hands and screamed along with the rest of the fans in the auditorium as the boys began to walk out on stage. The screams from the crowd intensified as all 18 members filed out of stage, forming a line right in front of where me and Marin were seated.

"To the world! We are NCT! Hello, we are NCT!" The boys greeted in perfect unison. I swear I almost fainted right at that moment. My eyes scanned the row of boys and landed on Yukhei off to my right. I was surprised to see he was looking at me.

"Annyeonghaseyo! We are NCT 2018." Taeyong said with a microphone in his hand. The rest of his words blurred together as I stared at Yukhei.

Was I crazy?

Maybe I was lucid dreaming.

Maybe he wasn't really looking at me.

I raised my hand slightly and gave a small wave to test. I watched him as he chuckled slightly and gave a small wave back, flashing that goofy grin I've always seen in their interviews and VLives. I closed my eyes and blinked once, twice, trying to tell if this was real life, but when I opened my eyes he was still looking at me.

"MARIN." I whispered harshly and tugged on her shirt. "He's doing it again, I swear. I'm not crazy!" She brushed my hand off and shushed me, her eyes trained on Mark as he nodded along with Taeyong's speech. I looked back at Yukhei to see him slightly laugh at me and Marin's exchange. It was weird, the way he looked at me. Being foreigners, me and Marin had gotten our fair share of looks from strangers on the streets these past few days. This, however, wasn't like that. The way he watched my every moved seemed as if he was examining me, as if he was interested in the way I was moving. It almost made me uncomfortable knowing he was looking at me.

The MC took the microphone back from Taeyong and the boys, including Yukhei, turned away to take their seats. While the boys got settled, talking to each other and playing around, a security guard walked down from the stage and stood at the right side of our row. I recognized him as the same security guard who had grabbed my shoulder earlier in the foyer of the building. He listened into his headset and said something in response, then motioned for our row to stand up. Me and Marin followed the people in front of us as we shuffled along towards the stairs at the end of the stage, my heart pounding faster with each step. We were about 7th in line and waited patiently as the first few fans stepped up to the stage.

"Marin, can you hand me my thingy." I said, too excited to focus on my words. Thankfully, Marin understood. She reached into her purse and pulled out my Empathy album I had brought to get signed.

The person in front of me moved forward and I took a step up onto the stairs where I stood bouncing with excitement. Now I was only one turn away from meeting the first member, Johnny, who was seated on the end of the table. I watched as he flashed the girl a smile and waved goodbye to her, then turned to me. I stood where I was, paralyzed, before Marin gave me a small push towards the table. I stumbled slightly and gave her a 'I'm gonna fight you' look while Johnny laughed at our little fight.

"Annyeonghaseyo" He said, smiling up at me as I stood opposite the table from him.

"Hey," I said, my voice slightly shaky. "Its really really nice to meet you."

"Oh, you sound American!" He said, his eyes opening in interest.

"Yeah, haha, me and my friend are from Seattle and we're on vacation here." I explained, brushing my hair away from my face.

"Thats so cool, I've always wanted to go to Seattle! I hear its pretty wet though." He said, already jumping into the conversation. I suppressed my natural instinct to make a bad joke over him saying 'wet' and just nodded instead.

"Yeah, its pretty rainy, you sorta get used to it after a while." I said.

"Whats your name?" He asked me, his tone feigning interest.

"Oh, its Sienna."

"Well its really really nice to meet you, Sienna." He said, making me laugh.

"Oh, I almost forgot." I placed my album on the table and opened it, flipping through the photo book until I landed on a picture of him from the "Touch" promotions. This, hands down, was my absolute favorite picture of him and I had been planning for months to get it signed. I slid it towards him and flashed a wide grin. He looked down at the book and smiled.

"I'm guessing this is where you want me to sign?" He asked, pen already in hand. I nodded enthusiastically in response, nudging the book closer to him. As he began to sign, I looked to my right to see Marin, tapping her foot, waiting impatiently for her turn. Hurry it up, she mouthed to me, tapping at an imaginary watch on her wrist. I mouthed back chill out  and turned back to Johnny who was finishing up.

"Thank you so much!" I said as he handed back my photo book.

"No problem," He said. "I guess your friend is getting impatient." He pointed over to Marin who still seemed annoyed I was taking so long talking to Johnny.

"Ah its fine, she's just like that." I explained, waving my hand towards her. The security guard that stood behind Johnny leaned down and whispered in his ear, pointing at me and then moving his hand towards the next member, which was Lucas (Just my luck), who was just finishing up signing a fan's poster.

"Sure," He said back to the guard then turning back to face me. "I think our times up, Sienna. It was nice talking to you." He said with a wave.

"You too, Johnny. Tell my friend Marin I say hi." I added, pointing over at Marin.

"Will do." He laughed again as I turned away and stepped towards Lucas who was seated next to him. As soon as I turned, he looked up at me, a smile forming on his face. I took another step towards him, staying back from the table, too nervous to get any closer. He leaned forward in his chair, looking at me with his bright eyes.

"Annyeonghaseyo," He said,  giving me a small wave just like the one he had earlier.

"Oh, hey." I stammered, quickly becoming a nervous wreck in his presence. "I'm Sienna."

"Ah," He said, a look of realization flashing on his face. "Nice to meet you, Sienna. You are American, right? You know, Johnnys from America."

I nodded, smiling back at him.

"Yeah, we were talking about it just a minute ago." I explained, a small bit of my anxiety leaving. I looked over at Marin who was already deep in conversation with Johnny.

"He's from Chicago, where are you from?" He asked me.

"Oh, me and my friend are from Seattle. Its farther northwest and has a lot more rain than where Johnny is from."

"Ah! Seattle Starbucks, yeah?" He asked, making me giggle.

"Yeah, Seattle Starbucks." I said, a huge smile forming on my face. Actually, Marin was right. Talking to these guys was so much easier than I thought. I almost hadn't noticed that I had edged right up to the table while we were talking.

"Thats cool," He said. "My English is still bad, I hope you can understand me well."

"That's okay, you're doing amazing so far." I gave him a thumbs up and he laughed, suddenly dissolving any uneasiness I had left. Talking with him just seemed so natural and came so easy to me, it was like talking to a long time friend. I was trying to keep my words pretty basic, hoping to avoid any issues that the language barrier could cause.

"Oh," I said suddenly. "I almost forgot." I reached behind me and pulled out my empathy album, setting it on the table between us.

"Dream version!" He said, picking up the album and flipping through the photo book.

"Yeah, its my favorite one. I even got your photo card." I blushed slightly, feeling slightly awkward from admitting it.

"Cool! Where is that handsome face at?" He asked jokingly, slightly biting his lip and simultaneously killing me.

"Its at home, up on my wall." I laughed and covered my face with my hands in embarrassment.

"That is good!" He declared, raising his hands dramatically. "That is where it belongs." The corner of his mouth pulled back and he flashed that signature Yukhei smile I had only dreamed of seeing in my lifetime.

Wow, I thought to myself. I don't think it get any better than this.

However, in an instant, the mood had changed.

Yukhei began to say something but froze, his mouth stuck open. His eyes darted behind me frantically. I looked at him confused, unsure of what was happening.

The next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion.

The loud cheers from the crowd had turned, becoming more panicked, and I heard screams of terror from behind me. A voice was shouting something I couldn't make out above the screams of the crowd. I watched as the security guards jumped from behind the tables and moved towards the crowd, frantically pushing past me.

Then, I heard the blood chilling crack of a gunshot.

My ears buzzed as the sound of the shot rang in my ear, deafening me. Yukhei jumped up from his chair and over the table, grabbing me and pulling me behind the partial wall that was on the stage. I looked up at him as he held me in his arms, his eyes wide with fear and concern, yelling something over his shoulder that I could'nt hear. He grabbed my shoulder and I cried out in pain, my vision becoming blurry. Then I looked down at his hands to see them stained with blood.

My blood.

[womenofcolor15]

Stephen Jackson’s Ex-Fiancée Imani Showalter Pops Up With Receipts To Debunk Wedding Story & Responds To His 'Bitter Black Women' Rant

After former NBA baller Stephen Jackson spoke about why he left Imani Showalter at the alter, the former “BBW” star is now sharing her side of the story. Find out what she had to say inside…

  Well, this escalated quickly.

Former NBA star Stephen Jackson went on IG Live to share why he left his ex-fiancée/former “BBW: LA” star "Melissa" Imani Showalter at the alter.

Now, she’s sharing her side of the story…with receipts.

In the Live, Stephen mention the San Antonio Spurs had an issue with the way Imani dressed and he claims the organization felt that she wasn’t a good influence on the other WAGS and that's why he didn't re-sign with the team. Well, Imani addressed his claims in an IG post today.

        View this post on Instagram

                  And I had just signed a record deal Via Shakir Stewart with my girl group. I been on. Don't try to minimize me to some gold digger bitch cause we both know I upgraded YOU! Nappy braids and gapped teeth ain't never been hitting. You fixed yourself up and got some big money contracts, but let's not forget what and who you really are. Cosmetic dentistry and new clothes can't disguise how ugly you are on the inside. Now run tell @madamenoire that.

A post shared by Melissa S (@iammelissaimani) on Apr 21, 2020 at 1:12pm PDT

In a nutshell, Imani (who goes by Melissa on IG) said the way she dressed had NOTHING to do with why he didn't sign a new contract with the Spurs. In a series of posts on IG, she said they ended up in Atlanta because of HIS unhealthy habits. It had nothing to do with her like he tried to make it seem in his IG Live.

"And I had just signed a record deal Via Shakir Stewart with my girl group. I been on. Don't try to minimize me to some gold digger bitch cause we both know I upgraded YOU! Nappy braids and gapped teeth ain't never been hitting," she wrote on IG. "You fixed yourself up and got some big money contracts, but let's not forget what and who you really are. Cosmetic dentistry and new clothes can't disguise how ugly you are on the inside. Now run tell @madamenoire that."

Sis always whipped out receipts:

"Please look at the date sent.... 2 weeks before the wedding (not the 3-4 months you lied about on live this morning) and also take note of who was copied.... I'm assuming that's who sat down with attorneys," she wrote, addressing the prenup Stephen claims he sent her months before the wedding. "Keep lying but I got receipts. YOU never had even had the conversation with me about wanting me to sign a prenup and wouldn't even call the lawyers back trying to avoid disappointing your momma. Keep it for once #Receipts #ALieDontCareWhoTellIt #FakeNews #YouAintGottaLieToKickIt #Fakest'RealNigga'IKnow"

In another post:

"And yes I did sign after hand writing some things in because I didn't know what was in that mysterious prenup that I got 1 hour before walking down the isle," she wrote in the caption of a what appears to be a photo of the actual prenup. "I didn't ask for much because I had trust and was blinded by love. I asked for bare minimum. I asked for allowance so I wound be at your mercy because you've dogged me before and left me for dead and me and your child had to sleep on a couch and my girlfriend had to send me money to feed your child. I asked for a house In case you choose to throw me and the kids on the street as you had done numerous times and I had to ask a girlfriend who was armed to come with me for you to even allow me back in to get me and my kids clothes. I requested NO MORE kids because YOU asked for these kids and by this time I had seen What kind of father you were. I asked that you stop cheating because after having 2 babies on me I'd had enough. And finally I asked to have legal representation at a later date to look at the prenup at a later date to make sure it would be 2 sided. Period. Keep lying to you fans who have no clue how evil you are but leave me alone," she wrote.

"I have nothing but time (quarantined and bored) and receipts (yes I'm petty and pay for extra cloud storage to hold receipts of everything because I know I need proof to discount your lies against me) I have every text email legal doc that has ever been sent. If I can put my hands on something from 15 years ago like that just think of all the shit I haven't shown. I've been respectful and quiet to cover and protect not just you but my kids... but my patience is wearing thin. Please just leave me alone. #YouAintGottaLieToKickIt"

    Here's more: 

          View this post on Instagram

                  So since we want to talk about how your kids don't call you on your birthday ... maybe this is why. You show people how to treat you. This is how my daughter spent her Sweet 16 on her floor crying cause once again you disappointed her and let her down. Take responsibility for the relationship (or lack there of )you have created with your children. You're not the victim here sir they are. #GirlDad #YouAintGottaLieToKickIt

A post shared by Melissa S (@iammelissaimani) on Apr 3, 2020 at 11:47am PDT

            View this post on Instagram

                  So I guess there's more to come. Smh please just grow up and go away. I'm over here battling Corona, raising these kids, working from home and doing my best to stay out the way. This isn't a "GAME" as you say sir it's our real life. There are more productive things to do during this pandemic beside trying to hurt or embarrass me and our kids with your "huge platform on Showtime" is it really that serious for you? Read a book, take a nap, learn a new language, adopt a shelter pet... Do some good during this time. Once again Please leave me alone. #BitterBitches

A post shared by Melissa S (@iammelissaimani) on Apr 4, 2020 at 7:51am PDT

            View this post on Instagram

                  I guess reposting his own words is me "going hard".... I done went from a "bitter black woman" to a "Scam Artist" all in one day without even leaving my house. who knew.... I'm over this, bout to go rewatch Tiger King. Maybe by the time it's over I can go from a "Scam Artist" to a Pet Rescue

A post shared by Melissa S (@iammelissaimani) on Apr 4, 2020 at 8:30am PDT

        Sis said she has TIME, OK?

Earlier this month, Imani (who has give different baby mothers) sat down with Demetria L. Lucas to chop it up about a video Stephen previously posted that went viral. In the clip, he complains about how "bitter black women" are the downfall of successful black men. Check it:

Have several seats sir. You knew what type of women you were dealing with before you laid up with them and impregnated them. After he put up this post, Imani opened up about the video in an interview with Demetria. Start listening at the 30-minute mark below:

We wonder if Stephen shared this "bitter black woman" rant to his black daughter:

          View this post on Instagram

                  All smiles

A post shared by Melissa S (@iammelissaimani) on Dec 28, 2019 at 4:30pm PST

  Photo: Pacific Coast News/Getty

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