#high thoughts with delphi

[delphi-dreamin]

Y'know what rubs me the wrong way? People who say that Lucifer wouldn't 100% get a case of feline paralysis if you fall asleep on him? That man will so reluctantly wheel himself back over to his desk and do what he can to keep working with you asleep in his lap. But he will only go places he can from his desk chair because he doesn't want to risk standing and waking you up. He is so gently in love with you.

[macchiiattos]

i finished the honkaixhonkai (fool's hand) event last night to get sparkle's outfit. and i don't have much to say about it, which i think is the biggest tragedy.

the collab itself is fine. sparkle's battlesuit is really fun to play. the card gameplay in event was really fun too. putting sparkle with vita was a good move, because they make for an entertaining dynamic.

everything else feels like a miss. i play hsr, but i don't think this event would make me interested in the game if i wasn't familiar with it. it doesn't feel like they showcased any of the stuff that makes hsr interesting. that is a shame, especially because 3.0 (amphoreus) is literally right around the corner.

[ourlordapollo]

Genuinely not trying to attack anyone's interpretations here but I really do not think Kristoph ever tried to poison (or otherwise kill) Phoenix (or Trucy or Apollo or Klavier). I think his extreme paranoia about, like, everything is pretty secure evidence of that.

I prefer the headcanon that he was perfectly pleasant, if a bit passive-aggressive at times, always in that beatific "I didn't mean anything by it" way. I think he picked Phoenix up from work and dropped Trucy off at school. I think he bought them gifts and helped cook dinner and left the smell of his cologne on Phoenix's towels. I think he made himself totally indispensable to them. I think he slowly dripped into the veins of Phoenix's life, lacing through the network of love and stability Phoenix slowly started to regrow, not knowing how much danger you're in when you're that deep into enemy territory. Still watching his back not knowing that he'd made himself surrounded. I think he left parts of himself in Phoenix's life not knowing they'd be lost forever.

I think Kristoph was the poison.

[hrrtshape]

things i manifested in the last 5 months.

◞ a trip to paris with my mom, because, obviously, i deserve cinematic montages of me walking along the seine in sunglasses and a red coat.

◞ a trip to italy’s ski resorts with my dad and brother, living my best après-ski la dolce vita moment, probably in a fur-lined coat, giving ‘mysterious heiress with a past.’

◞ a trip to ibiza. . .do i even need to elaborate? the sun, the sea, the absolute lack of thoughts in my head, just vibes.

◞ becoming more prettier. a few months ago, i took that test where a robot “according to science” calculates how pretty you are. i got about 52%, skip to right now and it shows 80%!!!!

◞ a trip to the belgium grand prix because i am a girl of culture and i like watching millionaires drive in circles really, really fast. everyone PLEASE manifest that charles leclerc falls in love with me.

◞ losing weight after ED recovery, but in a way that felt good and right, not in a ‘war with my body’ way, but in a ‘my body is thanking me for treating it with kindness’ way.

◞ and by extension… eating however much i want. not only in that “oh, i eat however much i want and don’t gain” (although, yes!!!!), but also that i don’t feel absolutely horrible, horrid and disgusting after eating past 8 o’clock.

◞ excuse my french, but, growing an ass!!!!!! this one gets its own fanfare because how does one thrive off a diet of carbs, croissants, burritos, and soy milk lattes AND still develop the physics-defying, gravity-defying, renaissance sculpture of a derrière??? the laws of biology are in shambles. the gym hasn’t seen me in months and it will continue to do so.

◞ my mom’s business POPPING OFF. the celebrities in my little nation are in her dm’s, the business is expanding into so many places, and the success!!!!! it’s only just beginning.

◞ shifting to my fame dr for 20 minutes and meeting timmy t!!!!! one second in my bed, the next in a make up chair. a cameo from hollywood’s favourite brooding poet boy. did he fall in love with me instantly? maybe. was i effortlessly captivating? always. the chemistry? palpable.

◞ cocktails!!! everywhere. i don’t even have to ask my parents anymore, they’re always in my hand at the perfect moment. divine intervention in mixology form.

◞ always being at the right place at the right time. no missed busses, no wrong turns, no long lines, no awkward “why am i here” moments. just perfectly timed entrances like i’m starring in my own movie. I AM the meet-cute.

◞ my mom and dad FINALLY getting along. a historic event. peace treaties (actual contracts) were signed, egos were dissolved, and my mental health got a break it so desperately needed. love this for 9 year old me who was probably getting bpd as everything occurred.

◞ my hair isn’t as oily anymore. and i DIDN’T EVEN SWITCH PRODUCTS. science is flailing, trichologists are confused, but i’m simply basking in my newfound ability to go days without dry shampoo.

◞ my nose??? smaller? upturned?? nature is quite literally BENDING to my will. my face is sculpting itself to perfection, no consultation necessary.

◞ also!!! my lashes have grown an INSANE amount. falsies who???

◞ my intuition reaching oracle of delphi levels. i don’t even need to second-guess things anymore. if i sense something, it’s FACT. the accuracy? terrifying. my inner knowing? undefeated. the people around me? spooked.

◞ eloquence. this is, lowkey (high-key), the most fortunate thing that had ever happened to me. i am patiently sitting and waiting for that 100% on my essays.

◞ me and my dad finally getting along. not in a dramatic, movie-moment way, just in the little things. the conversations that didn’t feel forced. the jokes that actually landed. the quiet understanding that we’re both trying, in our own ways.

◞ money. just… money. not in a lottery-winning way, but in a “somehow, i always have enough” way. in a “random discounts appear when i need them” way. in a “people keep handing me little opportunities” way. a quiet, steady flow.

◞ my painting and drawing skills getting better without me even noticing. one day, i just looked at something i made and thought, wait….when did i get this good? and that was a nice feeling.

ib the amazing @solanasreality who i got the idea from !!

[novafire-is-thinking]

Medic, Maverick, Maniac, Murderer: Understanding Pharma

First thing’s first: I love Pharma, dearly.

In all the time I’ve spent evaluating his character, I’ve mainly focused on what can be worked out about who he is as an individual: his core sense of self, psychological drives, subjective worldview, etc.

When all else is stripped away, who is Pharma?

This treatise is the product of obsessing over Pharma, analyzing canon (and extras), and reading as many different perspectives on his character from fans across the fandom as I could find. The post is long, so for those of you who balk at the thought of reading a shortfic’s worth of Pharma thoughts, feel free to read the TL;DR (Conclusion) at the end and then decide if the full read is worth your time. Also, a premium reading experience is available in the form of the original Google Doc version.

As you read, keep in mind that this is primarily a mix of psychoanalysis, evidence-based examination, and speculation—not moral, ethical, or sociological commentary. The goal is to examine Pharma’s psychological drives and core values, and each of his appearances in the context of those. All other types of evaluation are up to readers.

Now, take your victim blaming-allergy meds (just in case); remove your black-and-white thinking caps; and leave your personal morality lenses at the door.

Psychological Drives & Core Values

Why does Pharma act the way he does? What gives him a reason to keep living? What are his personal priorities?

At the beginning of the Delphi arc, First Aid establishes Pharma as a “control freak” and someone who “thinks he’s an expert on everything.”

Now, First Aid has a habit of complaining about his bosses, but on both points, there’s canon evidence to back them both.

Expertise and Intellect

Throughout the Delphi and Luna 1 arcs, it’s established that Pharma is a skilled and brilliant doctor.

He once performed a 4-way fuel pump transplant, donating his own fuel pump in the process. (see above panel)

Later, he invented a soundbomb that left an echo laced with a virus and invented an antidote to that virus:

And on Luna 1, he was on the edge of finding a cure for Cybercrosis, based on the fact that Swerve was able to formulate a cure from his notes.

More than being a doctor, Pharma lives for intellectual and scientific achievement as a physician scientist. He feels most alive when he’s able to solve complex medical problems, and when his achievements are recognized by those whose opinion he considers important.

This is Pharma’s 'why.'

And even though he’s arrogant and enjoys praise, it’s not his primary motivation. He doesn’t need it in order to set his mind to whatever he’s interested in, although he’ll seek it from those he values most (i.e. Ratchet).

Pharma sees himself as less of a doctor, and more as a scientific innovator or medical maverick. The practice of medicine is primarily a catalyst for his creativity and intellect; it’s not an end in and of itself like it is for someone like Ratchet or First Aid.

First Aid’s observation of Pharma can be better phrased as, “[Pharma] thinks he’s an expert on everything medical”—because he’s not so driven by achievement and admiration that he’ll grovel at the feet of strangers and get good at something he doesn’t personally find interesting. The only time we see him express a desire for praise is when he’s around Ratchet—someone he holds in high regard for both personal and professional reasons. This makes sense since Ratchet is one of the only people who can give Pharma any kind of competition within what he considers to be his area of expertise.

“Each day we go to our work in the hope of discovering—in the hope that some one, no matter who, may find a solution of one of the pending great problems—and each succeeding day we return to our task with renewed ardor; and even if we are unsuccessful, our work has not been in vain, for in these strivings, in these efforts, we have found hours of untold pleasure, and we have directed our energies to the benefit of mankind.” —Nikola Tesla

Ego

Without question, Pharma has an inflated ego, but having an inflated sense of self doesn’t automatically mean a person is a full-blown narcissist or that they are totally uncaring.

Every personality trait exists on a spectrum. Yes, Pharma is arrogant, but the presence of arrogance doesn’t automatically and completely cancel out all “positive” traits. (For fun, check out studies on Dark Tetrad and Light Triad personality traits.)

People are complex. Arrogance can coexist with genuine kindness, ruthlessness can coexist with deep compassion, etc.

Whether Pharma exhibits genuine kindness is up to each reader’s interpretation of what little canon material exists, but the point is: Pharma’s arrogance doesn’t automatically rule out the possibility of authentic “positive” traits.

Controlling Tendencies

Pharma is comfortable pulling the power card and using it to dump what he sees as uninteresting parts of medical practice on those below him:

“So Fisitron’s writing about the Wreckers’ elbows now, is he?” said Delphi’s Chief Medical Officer. “Come on, First Aid - get to it. You’ve got a Fader in Row 2 downstairs.” He squeezed the air with his finger and thumb. “He’s about this far from shutdown.” —from Bullets by James Roberts

However, there’s nothing in canon indicating he’s power-hungry in a megalomaniacal sense. He’s not Starscream or Megatron; he doesn’t seek political or social power. In fact, he seems perfectly happy hiding away in a lab or medibay by himself so he can direct all his energy toward solving issues and achieving the so-called ‘impossible’ within the field of medicine:

The ways in which Pharma exercises power and control are through his expertise, and his administrative/management skills. That’s it.

Self-confidence

Pharma’s arrogance and controlling tendencies don’t seem to be a mask—like he’s trying to compensate for some sense of lack (in those areas). Yes, he fears failure, and yes, he displays some insecurity when Ratchet questions his competence. But at every other point and in every other way, Pharma is unapologetically self-confident. He’s fully self-assured of his intellectual prowess and problem-solving capabilities; he knows what he knows, and he also knows what he doesn’t know.

Pharma’s arrogance and desire for control don’t stem from a hidden lack of confidence or a hunger for power on its own. They stem from the fact that he genuinely sees himself as the best person for the work he does. He trusts himself above anyone else to solve problems that come his way—medical or otherwise (within limits).

Elitism vs. Superiority

I’ve always read Pharma as having an elitist attitude, but not in the social stratification sense:

elitist (adj.) relating to or supporting the view that a society or system should be led by an elite.

There’s no evidence that Pharma believes an elite class of people should hold the most power. Instead, Pharma’s “elitism” is actually an individualistic sense of superiority. It’s centered on him alone, and is tied to his capabilities as a physician scientist and surgeon.

Pharma sees himself as the best of the best and makes sure everyone knows it—sometimes through his words, but mostly by his conduct in the field of medicine. This, paired with Pharma’s natural temperament, doesn’t exactly make him socially popular—inside or outside of medicine:

One could argue that the “personality” Lockdown is referring to was a result of all Pharma had suffered at Delphi and Luna 1, but just as easily, one could argue he was always a bit difficult to get along with, and that his traumatic experiences merely magnified his already-present psychological patterns. Personally, I like the latter interpretation because it’s a flaw that makes Pharma a more interesting character no matter his mental state.

Everyone reacts differently to real and perceived social rejection. Some are so concerned about it that they’ll try anything to belong; others genuinely don’t care, and they continue as usual; and still others cope by shifting their mindset and developing a sense of pride in being an outsider.

There’s no evidence for this in canon, but I believe it’s within reasonable characterization boundaries to headcanon Pharma as being in the second or third category.

With either of those two mindsets, a sense of superiority can develop, or even be an inciting factor. Either someone sees themselves as genuinely superior to the majority and doesn’t mind when this alienates them from people, or they convince themselves they’re superior because the pain of accepting they were rejected for who they are is too much to handle.

Whatever the case, the point is, having an “elitist” attitude isn’t necessarily rooted in a sociological or ideological belief. Sometimes, individuals just see something in themselves that—to them—justifies a sense of personal superiority. A quick glance at Pharma’s canon appearances makes it clear he holds such a view of himself, at least to some degree.

Morality and Compassion

When Pharma first shows up in canon, he’s working at the New Institute. A lot of questionable things took place there on a regular basis—things Pharma would have been aware of, to some degree. However, his presence at the Institute doesn’t automatically mean he agreed with everything happening. Depending on how strongly someone feels about something, some people are content to disagree in silence. Not everyone who seeks employment considers it a priority that the establishment they work for aligns perfectly with their moral values. After all, there are other reasons to take a job: financial benefits, exclusive educational and career opportunities, pure convenience, etc.

I’m not here to say either way whether Pharma’s willingness to turn a blind eye to the events at the New Institute was wrong or right; that’s up to each reader to decide for themselves. However, Pharma’s choice to remain employed at the Institute for some time can say something about him as a character: his priority as a doctor and person is not to take care of everyone he encounters, or to act as some kind of moral or ethical authority.

This isn’t to say Pharma won’t ever stand up for something he regards as right or push back against something he sees as wrong, “off screen.” It’s just that everything in canon points more to a tendency to choose his battles instead of acting immediately on any moral sense the way someone like Optimus or Ratchet might.

This also isn’t to say Pharma doesn’t care about saving lives, but from what little is shown of him before Delphi, it’s hard to say how much he cared. Ratchet confirms later that Pharma was an excellent doctor for most of his life, but all that tells us is he was an excellent doctor; it says nothing about his internal attitude toward his work or patients.

However, inferences can be made based on doctors in our own world:

Being a doctor—especially one in trauma care—is far from easy. It takes a lot out of a person, and there are very few people who last in the profession for a long time. Most medical professionals fall into one of the following categories:

People possessing a strong will that’s coupled with an unwavering passion for taking care of others (the public’s favorite)

People who naturally have, or develop, an ability to switch their empathy off and on at will, or build walls around it—also possessing a strong will (the ideal)

People who naturally have a limited capacity for empathy (the one the public hates to acknowledge)

People with a strong social and professional support system (the necessary, but underutilized and underappreciated factor)

Of course, even if a person has one or more of the above, burnout can and does still happen, but individuals who have at least one have the best chances of surviving and thriving amidst the demands of the majority of medical professions.

As far as is shown in canon, Pharma never had a strong support system—either circumstantially or by choice—so something else was keeping him in medicine.

Pharma shows concern for both Tumbler (Chromedome) and Hubcap:

But even though he obviously cared enough to step in, neither instance makes a strong case for a capacity for empathy beyond the “average” or “norm.” Performing a job well is a lot different from being personally invested in the work.

Based on everything up to this point, and this later comment from Pharma, about Ratchet…

…Pharma has probably never shared the same I-care-about-everything-and-everyone view of the world. Instead, it’s more likely that Pharma holds a more rational view of his work and patients.

One of the first things learned in medicine, especially in trauma medicine, is that you can’t help or save everyone, and to hold yourself to that standard can destroy you quickly if you have a certain temperament or lack healthy boundaries for your empathy.

“There are times when it may seem as though I view sick or injured people not as living, breathing humans with feelings and emotions and people who love them, but simply as cases, as problems to be solved. And that is absolutely true. It's not that I don't have empathy, but the hard fact is that as a doctor, and especially as a trauma surgeon, too much empathy can get in the way of your job and cause you to make decisions based not on sound medical judgment but on your own emotions. Sure, I've seen things that even years later can still make me choke up when I think of them: a little girl shot and killed, a shattered young Marine who shouldn't have died but did. But you can't choke up in the ER or the operating room. To be effective as a trauma surgeon, you have to put a layer of Kevlar around your heart.” —Dr. Peter Rhee, Trauma Red: The Making of a Surgeon in War and in America’s Cities*

Pharma may have learned this difficult truth earlier than Ratchet and developed a practical way of managing his empathy that comes across as “cold.” He may have always had an ability to put up walls around his spark. Or, he may have always had little to no capacity for empathy.

The fact that the morality lock on Tyrest’s portal prevented Pharma from passing through proves he felt guilty for what he’d done, and JRO confirmed this. Therefore, it’s safe to assume Pharma had some level of empathy for his former patients, suffering moral injury when he felt he had no other option but to start killing them.

Still, looking at Pharma’s psychological drives and his behavior throughout canon, it’s clear compassionate care and morality are subordinate to his other values and interests.

*I highly recommend this book, and learning about Dr. Rhee in general. He’s a huge inspiration of mine, and one of my main sources of inspiration when writing Pharma. Level-headed and capable, strong-willed, selectively empathetic, an excellent scientist, etc. He lives for the thrill of practicing medicine both on the floor and as an expert in his field who pushes trauma medicine to new heights through his research. He also takes great pride in his hands. Seriously—the man spent an entire paragraph and a half talking about his “good hands” and how they were one of two reasons he decided to go into trauma surgery. The other reason was that he “liked action and excitement, liked the feeling of being able to walk into a tough situation and take control.” (Sounds familiar…)

Delphi

First thing’s first: we don’t know how much Pharma did or didn’t know about the DJD before agreeing to take the Delphi assignment.

That far into the war, he would have known something about the DJD and their ways of terrorizing traitors and Autobots, but for whatever reason, he took the assignment anyway. Perhaps Prowl assured him the situation on Messatine would be monitored and that the security team would be enough. Perhaps he underestimated the DJD’s capabilities, or scale of territory, and thought he would be able to handle things on his own. Perhaps Prowl gave him no choice. Maybe it was all of these and more.

Whatever the case, according to JRO, Pharma didn’t hate Delphi before the incident with the DJD.

Word of god remains a touchy subject in fandom, but in this case, it’s important because it says two things:

The DJD left the Delphi medical team alone for some time.

Being on the edges of DJD territory didn’t automatically mean isolation and harassment by their hand.

On the second point, First Aid was free to come and go from Messatine as he pleased, seeing as he attended a medical conference at Kimia five years into his assignment at Delphi:

Five years ago [mid-Delphi assignment], the leader of the Wreckers had cornered him at a medical conference at Kimia, the space station that doubled as a weapons research facility. —from Bullets

And five years after that, he was able to not only contact Springer without delay about one of Agent 113’s bullets he’d discovered in an Autobot badge…

He raced upstairs to his computer terminal and typed in a certain frequency code for the second time in his life. A face appeared on the screen and grinned. “It’s me,” said First Aid. “And you're never gonna guess what I’ve got for you..!”

…but he was also able to meet up with Springer to hand off the bullet:

“Your friend has a funny way of making contact,” First Aid had said when he’d got in touch three days earlier, and he was right.

It’s not known if this handoff happened on or off world, but either way, the DJD didn’t interfere.

At some point, Tarn set his sights on Pharma and the Delphi team. Knowing the DJD, one can only imagine what Tarn used to show off his team’s capabilities and convince Pharma the best option was to cooperate.

In striking a deal with Tarn to keep the DJD away from Delphi, Pharma established his territory and ensured his continued security and the safety of his staff. As long as Tarn got his T-cogs, Pharma could continue on in relative peace. He could work his magic on bots that ended up at Delphi, carry out his management duties, and work on whatever projects or research he may have been conducting in his free time.

For whatever reason, after he first came into contact with Tarn, Pharma didn’t call for help. Communications were still operational, as Pharma wouldn’t have suggested contacting High Command about the Duobots if the team was aware of any comm malfunctions:

Also, First Aid later confirms that communications were fine until the Big Bang (soundbomb detonation):

It’s always possible the DJD was monitoring the radio waves, but secure subspace frequencies exist, such as the Datalog Network First Aid used to send the datalog containing the death statistics:

Speaking of which, assuming First Aid sent the datalog with the statistics right when things started to get ‘weird,’ and before the Big Bang shut down comms, it only took—at most—a few days for them to reach Ratchet and Swerve on the Lost Light:

But back to Pharma not calling for help: for all of Prowl’s intel, contingency planning, and fretting over the security of Autobot territories, I find it hard to believe he would have stuck an Autobot medical team on the fringes of DJD territory without giving them some means of securely contacting the outside in case of issues.

But even if Prowl didn’t give Pharma a secure way to contact him or anyone else, and even if Pharma was convinced the DJD was monitoring regular communications, there were other ways he could have reached out for help. After all, the team wasn’t alone on Messatine. Like Pharma said, Prowl continued to send bots to defend the nucleon mines:

The Autobots had been mining nucleon for millions of years at this point, so I doubt the mined nucleon was just sitting in storage on Messatine; shipments of the stuff would have been sent off-world to wherever the Autobots needed it. Why not send a message for Prowl with someone leaving with one of those shipments? A message meant only to be sent over a call when absolutely certain they were out of range of the DJD’s potential monitoring.

Or, why not order in off-world medical supplies and send a message back with the delivery bot(s)?

There are two possible answers to this. One takes into account JRO’s word on the subject; the other is more intricate and speculative on my part, but it leads to the same place. So whatever your stance is on the validity of word of god, there’s an answer for you.

Answer one (word of god)

Simple as that. Pharma was aware of the scope of the DJD’s capabilities and relentlessness, and determined he was trapped prey.

Answer two (no word of god)

There are a few possible reasons Pharma didn’t call for help right away:

He was convinced all his other options would take too long and/or would still lead to him being put under suspicion. After all, being found to have harvested even a single T-cog from an already-dead patient for the DJD could have raised concerns that would lead to Pharma being investigated and/or having a mark put on his record.

He underestimated the severity of Tarn’s addiction, and was certain he could keep up with the T-cog demand without resorting to other means of harvesting, not realizing Tarn’s quota would increase later on.

He was already paranoid as a result of whatever mind games Tarn had set in motion at their first meeting, making Pharma think escape was futile.

Word of god or no word of god, there are clear reasons as to why Pharma ended up trapped. Most likely, it was a mix of all of the above.

Whatever was going on in Pharma’s mind before, he ended up in deeper trouble. Tarn increased his demand for T-cogs, and Pharma couldn’t keep up. By the time this happened, even if he had wanted to call for help, it was too late to do so without implicating himself. He reasoned his only option was to start killing patients to harvest their T-cogs.

Soon, Pharma was so consumed with fretting over whether he’d be able to meet Tarn’s next demand that he didn’t have time or freedom to do anything else except worry and feel guilty. His whole life revolved around Tarn’s addiction; he was no longer in control, and could no longer enjoy whatever it was about Delphi he’d previously enjoyed. Perhaps the facility itself enabled Pharma to research cures and perform scientific miracles of medicine.

Being at the mercy of Tarn—convinced the DJD would find him no matter what—would have been pure psychological torture on its own, but also knowing that any small chance he did have of getting help would end in him losing everything would have added to his suffering. Pharma became desperate to reclaim control over his life and began planning an escape.

Now, JRO has said that Pharma didn’t originally plan to use the rust plague on the DJD…but canon says otherwise:

Of course, Pharma could have been lying to make himself look better in Ratchet’s view, but based on everything he’d been through up to this point with Tarn, it’s more likely he was telling the truth and had tried to eliminate the source of his suffering first. After all, wiping out the DJD would have been the simpler, cleaner option.

When the Duobots refused to detonate the soundbomb near the DJD, Pharma’s objectives shifted. He had to get Delphi shut down in a way that would:

Convince the DJD the shutdown was legitimate.

Pharma knew chances of escaping the DJD at all were slim to none, but he was desperate. Getting Delphi shut down would cut off Tarn’s supply of T-cogs and allow Pharma to escape Tarn’s immediate control, but the shutdown had to be “legitimate” to prevent Tarn from retaliating and hunting him down later. Leaving Tarn even the slightest chance of regaining control was too risky, so Pharma had to make sure his plan was as airtight as possible. 

Cover up the patient murders.

If the truth got out about Pharma killing patients, he’d lose his medical license and most likely be put away for life. Being cut off from the practice of medicine and his intellectually stimulating work as a doctor would mean losing more than a job and a reputation. It would mean losing everything in which he’d anchored his sense of identity and life’s meaning. His refusal to consider any other options wasn’t just about ego and preserving his image as an excellent doctor; it was about preserving any kind of meaningful future he saw for himself.

Pharma needed a plan that would fulfill all of the above. Turning the engineered virus on the medical facility was the most effective and efficient solution. Anything else would have made him suspicious in the view of either Autobot High Command or the DJD, and neither of those would have ended well for him.

Because of his goal to preserve his reputation and future in medicine, he couldn’t even risk revealing anything to First Aid or Ambulon, who would have seen to his ruin. They became nothing more than loose ends that had to be tied up, and based on the fact that Pharma only prepared one vial of the vaccine, his original plan involved him being the only survivor:

He probably would have had no problem making more of the vaccine for anyone else who survived, but he wasn’t counting on it. He wanted a totally clean slate; in letting his staff die with most of his patients, he would be getting rid of any and all evidence and reminders of his failures. He may have cared about First Aid and Ambulon before things got bad, but somewhere along the way, he decided either it wasn’t worth it to go through the trouble of finding a way to save them without raising suspicion, or he didn’t want to risk them putting together the pieces later on.

Of course, when Ratchet showed up, plans changed.

Ratchet

Ratchet is not the kind of person who seeks first to understand or be understanding. He’s inclined to trust what’s in front of him over anything abstract, and tends to look at the results of someone’s actions over trying to find any kind of ‘why’ behind them. Also, unlike Pharma, he operates from a strong moral sense, and reacts quickly and strongly when something or someone goes against that internal moral sense.

Ratchet’s reaction to finding out what Pharma did may seem hasty and harsh, but it makes perfect sense on a human level. There is no such thing as unconditional love; everyone has personal and moral lines (boundaries), and they’re different for each individual. When the most rigid of lines is crossed, that’s it; walls go up and the offender is cut off, no matter how strong the relationship may have been.

Ratchet obviously knew Pharma well enough to think he could try talking some sense into him, but then Pharma revealed that he’d crossed one of Ratchet’s lines: murdering patients. Any willingness Ratchet may have had to try to understand vanished. By the time Pharma started trying to provide a ‘why’ for his actions, Ratchet’s moral judgment had already shut down any chance of understanding what could have possibly led Pharma to kill patients. It didn’t help that Pharma seemed totally unapologetic and outright proud of his plan. For Ratchet, the ‘why’ didn’t matter anymore. What he saw was what he trusted, and what he saw was a friend who’d become his idea of a monster.

Now, Ratchet and Pharma’s relationship is one of the most confusing IDW relationships I’ve had the pleasure and pain of dissecting.

It is notoriously difficult to determine the depth and strength of a relationship from the outside. However, I’ve decided to go ahead and address it anyway because it has the potential to provide insight into Pharma as an individual.

If I were to sum up Pharma and Ratchet’s relationship in a single word, I would use “ambivalent.” The first time I read MTMTE, the thing that stood out to me most about their relationship was the drastic differences between how they each perceived the relationship.

In one sense, there’s the idea of Pharma basically being Ratchet’s crazy stalker ex, which is tossed around in fandom a lot. While I personally dislike seeing it regardless of context (yes, even as a joke), I do see how JRO’s writing choices set things up in a way that makes it easy to superimpose that trope.

In another sense, there’s the idea that Pharma and Ratchet were always close friends, and that what happened at the end of the Delphi story was a betrayal of both sides that came out of nowhere and whose consequences were taken too far.

I disagree with both. Personally, what I see at the end of the Delphi story isn’t an obsessed ex gone mad, a sudden betrayal, or a badly executed backstabbing. What I see is a breakdown of an already-complicated and poorly-maintained relationship: true feelings being revealed, long-repressed bitterness being forced to the surface, carefully-hidden cracks being split wide open.

Most people don’t have an accurate understanding of how much or how little they truly know the people in their lives, often overestimating how well they know a person until something surfaces and blindsides them.

According to JRO, Ratchet was oblivious to Pharma’s romantic interest, and throughout canon, it’s easy to see Pharma was more invested in the relationship than Ratchet ever was.

The question is, did Ratchet ever care about Pharma at all? And if so, to what degree?

Yes, Ratchet calls Pharma “buddy” and “friend,” but the former was sarcastic, and the latter means something different to each person. Also, in light of the circumstances, Ratchet could have just been saying “friend” in response to Pharma saying it—an emotional appeal more than anything.

However, Pharma must have been aware of Ratchet’s lack of relational investment because during the confrontation at Delphi, Pharma’s first reaction wasn’t to appeal to their friendship (ex: “But you know me!”). Instead, he appealed to their shared profession:

Then there’s the exchange of insults: 

This is what I meant earlier by “true feelings being revealed.” Ratchet may have just been trying to match Pharma’s insult, but it’s unlikely it was merely reciprocal because while Ratchet is snarky at times, he’s sincere in that snark. There’s almost always some truth in his verbal jabs no matter how unserious they seem, and he’s never cruel for cruelty’s sake.

So, if Pharma saw Ratchet as an inferior doctor, and Ratchet saw Pharma as an inferior Autobot…it’s reasonable to assume there was always some deep-rooted competition and conflict preventing them from being super close.

Possible suspicion surrounding Pharma’s conduct as an Autobot paired with a tendency to misjudge the nuances of relationships could explain why Ratchet was so quick to decide Pharma was a lost cause. Maybe Pharma’s actions at Delphi confirmed something from the past that Ratchet had brushed off for whatever reason.

In any case, Ratchet seems to have been largely unaffected by the Pharma he found at Delphi. While leaving Messatine, he emphasizes that he’ll miss Pharma’s talent.

Not “who he used to be.”

Not “what we used to have.”

Just…“his talent.”

Later, on Luna 1, Pharma mentions that he and Ratchet were inseparable, but that could mean a few different things:

Best case scenario: Pharma and Ratchet sought each other out on equal terms.

Worst case scenario: Pharma followed Ratchet around.

Somewhere in the middle: the job forced Pharma and Ratchet to work in close proximity most of the time, and while Pharma intentionally ran into Ratchet more often than necessary, Ratchet also sought out Pharma every now and then.

Whatever the case, working with someone every day doesn’t tell you anything about who they are as a person, and the amount of time spent with someone doesn’t automatically correlate to how deep the relationship is or how well the people know each other. It’s not like either Pharma or Ratchet are shown to be good at expressing their personal feelings outside of extreme circumstances. 

Ratchet does bring up late-night conversations of the past:

But while this indicates there was something deeper between him and Pharma, because neither of them were ever shown to be super open with their true feelings, it’s unlikely the conversations were full of touchy-feely talk. In all likelihood, the conversations were mostly medicine and war-related, with the rare spark-to-spark talk sprinkled in. Also, considering everything up to this point, one has to wonder if those talks ever meant anything to Ratchet, or if he was just digging for something that might stall Pharma’s torture.

Maybe those late-night conversations did mean something to Ratchet, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t take the bait. He knew Ratchet was trying to stall by making an emotional appeal, and perhaps he was convinced the conversations hadn’t meant that much to Ratchet.

Looking at all of this, it’s hard to believe Ratchet ever cared about Pharma as more than an interesting work friend. But even if he had cared more than he let on, it wasn’t enough to overcome the doubts he had about Pharma’s character.

As for whether Pharma truly cared about Ratchet, I’m convinced he did, but in a mostly unhealthy way, and with a strong undercurrent of one-sided rivalry. At some point, Ratchet had been an equal and a source of challenge, and he probably listened to Pharma pretty often. It’s reasonable to assume Ratchet was one of the only people—if not the only person—able to handle Pharma’s intense temperament and challenge him in a meaningful way, providing some semblance of friendship for Pharma.

However, one last thing that stands out is that, when telling Ratchet why he’s torturing him, Pharma didn’t say anything like, “Because you hurt me” or “Because you turned against me—your friend.” Instead, he said it was for “ruining things at Delphi” and because “you declared war on my body.”

Either Pharma wasn’t being entirely honest, or Ratchet’s friendship didn’t mean as much in the first place as he’d previously implied. It’s possible the ‘Because you hurt me’ was implied in “for ruining things back at Delphi,” but why not say it outright? Perhaps it was a fear of vulnerability and admitting there was ever a relational need at all.

At the end of the day, it’s difficult to say for certain how close Pharma and Ratchet were, but it’s clear they were never on the same page and there were always barriers between them.

Luna 1

Revisiting the matter of Pharma’s morality taking a backseat to other priorities, his time on Luna 1 further underscores this. Again, Pharma chooses his battles and is unwilling to put himself at great risk for the sake of others, but a closer look at the situation with Tyrest reveals there wasn’t really anything he could have done for the Cold Construct population even if he had wanted to. It would have been him against Tyrest, an army of Legislators, and a bunch of Decepticons. Pharma knew his limits, and seeing as his goal was self-preservation, it was perfectly rational for him to go along with Tyrest’s grand scheme.

Besides, it doesn’t look like he was given much of a choice:

Although, knowing Pharma, he still would have demanded to know beforehand what he would get in return for the pain, and evidently, Tyrest held up his end of the deal since Pharma had access to the Luna 1 tech collection.

As for Tyrest’s plan to wipe out the Cold Construct population, there’s nothing indicating Pharma’s decision to turn a blind eye to it was rooted in malevolence or bigotry—just rational apathy: ‘I can’t stop Tyrest, so why concern myself with the outcome?’

Again, you can’t save everyone; Pharma had all he could do to save himself.

But it wasn’t all horrible. I would even go so far as to say Pharma found some happiness on Luna 1. Tyrest didn’t care about him, but he didn’t need Tyrest to care. Everyone else there hated him, but he didn’t need to feel like he belonged or was admired. At this point, Pharma’s only interest was Tyrest’s Luna 1 tech collection, and that meant playing nice so he could keep his reward. Back at Delphi, he probably assumed he’d never again practice medicine the way he’d loved; being brought to Luna 1 was an unexpected, yet welcome, second chance.

Even so, Pharma had his moments of cruelty. Back at Delphi, he had easily-identifiable reasons to kill patients—both the ones whose T-cogs he harvested and the 20 more he tried to kill when he shot the life support machine. But on Luna 1, he had no reason to be cruel, yet he chose to be. By this point, he’d mastered the ability to almost completely ignore or subdue his conscience.

In the case of Ratchet’s torment, one could argue Pharma only drew it out for retaliation purposes; it was personal for him.

As for cutting Ambulon in half, it was obviously meant to be as gruesome as possible, yet also quick. But personally, I don’t think it was about Ambulon; it was more about hurting Ratchet. Due to the fact that Ratchet’s identity is wrapped up in his compassion and his ability to be helpful as a doctor, one of the most effective acts of revenge would be to do something that makes him feel utterly helpless.

Also I wonder if, subconsciously or consciously, Pharma was attempting to recreate the sense of helplessness he felt back at Delphi under Tarn’s watch: “Do you see, Ratchet? Do you now understand how it feels to have control ripped out of your hands? To be totally helpless?”

Next, for some reason, Pharma was invested in the promised execution of Getaway and Skids:

He had no personal connection to either of them that would give him a reason to be interested, so maybe Tyrest told him he could perform the execution and/or have the corpses for medical experimentation. Either way, Pharma would have had a chance to use some of the tech in Tyrest’s tech collection, possibly explaining his excitement.

Of course, any chance of an execution disappeared when the final showdown went wrong.

When Pharma tried to escape to Cyberutopia and discovered he couldn’t pass through the spacebridge forcefield, he gave up. He’d been caught; he would no longer have access to Tyrest’s tech collection; Ratchet and every other self-righteous Autobot would never forgive him; and the morality lock prevented him from escaping. By all appearances, he would never again be able to engage in that which gave him a sense of meaning. He had shrunken his world down to his obsessive interest in a specialized field and one significant, yet unrequited relationship. With both of these lost, his world collapsed. 

Yes, guilt played a part in Pharma’s despondency, but because he seems to have been in denial of said guilt, it’s more likely his despair was primarily due to the fact that he saw no future for himself. He had nothing left to live for.

In light of this, Pharma’s flippant comments to First Aid make sense. He wasn’t being insensitive as much as he was goading First Aid. Pharma’s not stupid. First Aid had a massive rotary cannon on him, and Pharma knew exactly which emotional buttons to push to get him to pull the trigger.

Pharma wanted to die.

Adaptus

First, let me emphasize that Adaptus did not take possession of Pharma’s body. Instead, Pharma was the unwelcome guest:

How Pharma ended up in Adaptus’ new body is a mystery, but whatever the case, Pharma didn’t pass on to the Allspark. Whether or not he had a choice can only be speculated.

First Aid had blasted Pharma’s head clean off, so whatever happened must have been related to the spark. Perhaps some residual spark energy was trapped in a body part that Adaptus repurposed, leaving Pharma tethered to the new body unwillingly.

Still, Pharma managed to assert his will and override Adaptus for a brief moment. Considering Adaptus was basically a god, this is impressive.

Based on Adaptus’ surprise at being interrupted, it seems he didn’t know Pharma was there. Why Pharma hadn’t tried to assert himself sooner is a mystery. Maybe Adaptus’ scheme was entertaining; maybe Pharma actually liked the company; or maybe he’d been waiting for an opportunity to get revenge on Tyrest for everything done to him back at Luna 1.

Sure enough, just like with Ratchet back on Luna 1, Pharma’s vengeful streak came out as soon as there was an opportunity.

Unfortunately for him, this left him vulnerable, and Tyrest took advantage of the confusion:

Conclusion

When someone reduces their world to narrow personal interests and one or a few very special people, their grip tightens around what little they have. They often become obsessive and possessive of the few things that make them feel alive, and their view of the world becomes increasingly more subjective and detached from the outside world. Pharma seems to have fallen into this trap.

Even so, in the context of the circumstances, several of the decisions he made were rational—even if coldly so. Oftentimes, “extreme” rationality and self-preservation are villainized in fiction, and characters like Pharma who don’t automatically put themselves at great risk for anyone and everyone are villainized, or at least looked down on. Their choices are often regarded as less human, but rationality and self-preservation are just as human as compassion and self-sacrifice.

Ultimately, Pharma was trapped and pushed over the edge into “insanity” by Tarn’s cruelty, but his own choices made from a place of pride determined how he fell, and how far he fell. It was a perfect storm of Tarn’s mind games and Pharma’s intellectual arrogance, excessive self-confidence, obsessive nature, and stubborn grip on the kind of future he wanted for himself.

Pharma is yet another Icarus who flew too close to the sun and paid dearly for it, and while JRO/the narrative could have given this Icarus better wings, that doesn’t change the fact that he chose to fly so high.

***

Many thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this monster of a post.

-tosses a Rodimus Star at you-

[revelboo]

i've been gone for just,,, 2 days man THAT IS A LOT OF POSTS IN 2 DAYS THANK U FOR THE FOOD UR HIGHNESS

xD sorry. I was home sick and I get bored easily. 🔞 mass displaced mech 🌶️

Scenario- play

First Aid x Reader

• Figuring out your freak matches his own? That you get a kick out of the danger of getting caught just like he does? Denta gritting behind his battle mask, he tries to keep his head still, hips barely rocking against you. He’d thought getting set up so no one would see what he’s doing or realize he’s mass shifted would be the hard part, but not rutting against you is killing him as he tries to focus on Red Alert giving a boring status update on the Delphi sector.

• Bent over a container on your belly, one of his hands is covering your mouth, the other petting and sliding against you where his spike is buried deep inside you. And that other bot you don’t know is droning on and on as you push back against him, grinding and rolling your hips to try and break First Aid’s composure. Knowing full well he’s going to get payback for it. Hear his venting hitch, hips flexing forward, trying to pin you better so you can’t move as he struggles to answer a question.

• He’s going to overload on the feed if you don’t stop and part of him wants to, spike pulsing imagining Red Alert’s expression if he realized what he was doing. That’s he’s fragging you right now. And his elbow smacks the edge of the container, spike driving deep at that thought. Sees Red Alert frown at him. So serious. ‘Problem?’ The other bot asks and he’s struggling against the urge to thrust, pushing himself back up as he hears your muffled laughter. “All good here,” he groans, voice strained.

• And his weight is carefully pinning you as his servos rub more urgently against you, playing with your slickness and you manage to get the end of one of the servos of his other hand into your mouth, tongue curling around him as you suck and he makes a noise that almost sounds like pain. “I’m getting some interference,” he snarls, reaching to cut the feed.

• Finally. Hips pumping urgently against you, he knows he’s not going to last long. “We’re doing this again,” he growls, hips snapping against you. “Every fragging conference call.” So much less boring when he gets to play. And you nip his servo, your cry muffled when you come for him, dragging him along with you until he’s overloading so hard his vision whites out for a klik, filling you with a strangled growl, he shudders. Before beginning to move again. So hard for you right now.

[theman-themyth-theanemone]

Artemis

I sing of Artemis, whose shafts are of gold, who cheers on the hounds, the pure maiden, shooter of stags, who delights in archery, own sister to Apollo with the golden sword. Over the shadowy hills and windy peaks she draws her golden bow, rejoicing in the chase, and sends out grievous shafts. The tops of the high mountains tremble and the tangled wood echoes awesomely with the outcry of beasts: earth quakes and the sea also where fishes shoal. But the goddess with a bold heart turns every way destroying the race of wild beasts: and when she is satisfied and has cheered her heart, this huntress who delights in arrows slackens her supple bow and goes to the great house of her dear brother Phoebus Apollo, to the rich land of Delphi, there to order the lovely dance of the Muses and Graces. There she hangs up her curved bow and her arrows, and heads and leads the dances, gracefully arrayed, while all they utter their heavenly voice, singing how neat-ankled Leto bare children supreme among the immortals both in thought and in deed.

Hail to you, children of Zeus and rich-haired Leto! And now I will remember you and another song also.

-Homeric Hymn 27

[saturnbeknownst]

all the references in dr. ratio’s character that i could find.

if i missed something, or got something wrong, yell at me in the comments. there are a few other analysis on my page, if you wanna check them out :3 hope u enjoy!!

“ratio” can be traced back to the ancient greek logos. early translators rendered this into Latin as ratio (“reason;” as in the word "rational"). a more modern interpretation of Euclid's meaning is more akin to computation or reckoning.

in Latin, ratio has several meanings, including "reason, ration, calculation," etc

in Roman mythology, Veritas, meaning "truth," is the Goddess of Truth.

there's a lot of owl symbols on ratio, and owls symbolize wisdom, mystery, intelligence and protection.

there's a lot of greek symbolism, esp in his outfit and the way the fabric is tied and the laurel leaves in his hair (in Ancient Rome, it was worn on the head as a symbol of triumph) and the owl motif, the symbol of Athena goddess of wisdom.

dr. ratio's plaster head besides being an obvious reference to ancient greek's herma (symbol of protection, warding off unwanted intrusion or evil spirits), but it is also a reference to, euler, who famously went blind towards the end of his life. his productivity only increased after his blindness, and he was reported to having said, "now I will have fewer distractions," after going blind in both eyes.

dr ratio's eidolons are all based off multiple philosophical concepts and proverbs;

eidolon one: "pride comes before fall" comes from the 'book of proverbs' in the bible.

eidolon two: "the divine is in the detail" explores the relationships in aisha khalid (a visual artist)'s work amongst geometry and precision with respect to the spiritual. the exhibition title is a play on the commonly heard phrase ‘the devil is in the detail’, in other words, the difficulties or problematics of specificity.

eidolon three: "know thyself" is a philosophical maxim which was inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo in the ancient Greek precinct of Delphi. initially, it meant "know your limits," then it was re-interpreted by Plato who understood it to mean "know your soul." then it was re-interpreted again by christian, jewish and muslim scholars used "know thyself" as a command to study the physical properties of the human body.

eidolon four: "ignorance is blight." i couldn't find much for it, but ignorance (lack of knowledge) is blight (a thing that spoils or damages something), which could be the opposite of a quote by poet Thomas Gray "ignorance is bliss."

eidolon five: "sic itur ad astra" literally means 'thus, one goes to the stars'. the phrase is most famously attributed to the Roman poet Virgil in the Aeneid. the phrase can be interpreted as a motivational statement. it suggests that greatness and high achievements are attainable if one follows the right path or method. it also implies that the journey to greatness involves effort and perseverance. it's not just about the destination (the stars) but also about the path one takes to get there.

eidolon six: "vincit omnia veritas" means "truth conquers all things." similar to the Latin phrase "amor vincit omnia," meaning "love conquers all things." this phrase emphasizes the idea that truth is powerful and ultimately prevails over falsehood or deceit.

combat skills:

"mind is might:" the idea behind this phrase is that through the power of the mind, individuals can solve complex problems, innovate, lead effectively, and make decisions that have far-reaching positive impacts. it underscores the value of mental prowess in various aspects of life, from personal development to societal progress.

"intellectual midwifery:" intellectual midwifery is a metaphorical concept that describes the role of a person or a process in helping someone else develop their ideas and thoughts. it's like how a midwife helps in childbirth by supporting and assisting, but instead of a baby, it's about helping ideas or intellectual creations come into being. this can involve guiding someone through the process of thinking critically, asking questions, and providing support so they can articulate and develop their ideas effectively.

"syllogistic paradox" is a situation where a series of logical steps leads to a conclusion that seems contradictory or unexpected. in simple terms, it's like following a set of rules or ideas that seem logical individually, but when put together, they create confusion or a surprising result. these paradoxes often highlight flaws in reasoning or assumptions that we might not initially notice.

"cogito, ergo sum" is a Latin phrase that means "i think, therefore i am." it was famously stated by the philosopher René Descartes. it expresses the idea that the act of thinking proves that a person exists. Descartes used this statement to assert that even if everything else could be doubted or uncertain, the fact that he was thinking was undeniable proof of his own existence as a thinking being.

"mold of idolatry" refers to the different shapes and forms that idol worship or excessive devotion can take. it includes worshiping statues or images as gods, being overly focused on material possessions, or putting anything above the rightful place of worshiping the true divine or ultimate reality. essentially, it describes the various ways people might stray from focusing on what truly matters spiritually.

[in1-nutshell]

Can I request first aid finding some old videos of wobbles before they started wobbling after a few videos first aid finds a video of wobbles been dared to run as fast as they can into a lamppost for 5 shanix

First Aid is internally having stroke after the video.

Hope you enjoy!

First Aid finding old videos of Wobbles

SFW, Platonic, mention of injury, Cybertronian reader

MTMTE

The video was found on accident.

First Aid was helping Wobbles out by cleaning some clutter around their habsuite.

They had brought some extra boxes of their things from Delphi and had a bit of a nasty habit of keeping unnecessary things.

And being the good Amica he was, he offered to help clean out some of their junk.

First Aid: “What about this?” He holds up an old data pad with a bite mark. Wobbles: “Keep.” First Aid: “Why? Its broken and… why does it have bite marks?” Wobbles: “Not important.” First Aid sighs before looking at the crate again. First Aid: “What in the—why do you have a solid ball of metal in here?!” Wobbles: “Oh! I saw a video from Earth about a sport called ‘bowling’. It looked like fun, so I tried to make my own bowling ball. I may have gotten distracted and forgotten it.” First Aid: “… This is going into the junk pile.” Wobbles: “Aid!” First Aid: “No!”

A little while later First Aid found an old data slug.

Probably the oldest thing in the crates.

He asked Wobbles if they knew what was in the slug, they shook their helm.

Out of curiosity, First Aid placed the slug into the main monitor in the room and played it.

Maybe it had some useful information?

The pair sat down on the berth as the screen came to life with a staticky start.

Both bots looked surprised at the bot in the screen, though for different reasons.

The bot on screen looked eerily similar to Wobbles, except for a few key details.

The bot on the screen had a clear speedster cut frame, was a bit jittery and most importantly did not wobble.

Wobbles lets out a small chuckle. Wobbles: “Wow… I can’t believe I still have the video.” First Aid looked at them. First Aid: “Is that you?” Wobbles nods. First Aid pauses for a minute. First Aid: “This was before your…” Wobbles gives him an uncharacteristically somber look as their optics stay on the screen.

First Aid watched Screen Wobbles chug down a couple cubes of speedster high grade.

They had a wild smile on their face and looked ready for anything.

The bot recording then told them if they could bring down the nearby lamppost, they would give them 5 shanix.

Wobbles gave the bot recording a cocky smirk before transforming.

The transformation slightly shocking First Aid.

Out of all his years of knowing Wobbles, they had never transformed in front of him, or anyone for that matter.

Wobbles was off to the lamppost.

As the screen zoomed on the lamppost just as Screen Wobbles crashed into it.

The post didn’t even have a dent in it.

Screen Wobbles crash made them transform on the ground.

Several other bots tried to help them up.

Screen Wobbles then started wobbling.

Wobbles: “Turns out the city had just placed crash proof posts that night. Extremely strong and durable. And I thought I was strong than anything at the time.” First Aid catches some tears building around Wobbles optics. Wobbles: “I went to the hospital after that, try to see if I could get rid of the wobbling… But we all know how that turned out.” First Aid: “…You were a speedster…” Wobbles: “Yeah… Loved going fast… but that was old me. I like taking things slower now. You tend to miss things when you’re going fast. Missing the scenery, and bot’s intentions…” Wobbles tighten their servo a bit looking down. First Aid places a reassuring servo on their shoulder. Wobbles relaxes and clears their throat a bit. Wobbles: “But, if I didn’t get this wobble I would have never met you, Ambulon, Ratchet or the others.” First Aid chuckles a bit. First Aid: “Always optimistic, huh?” Wobbles: “One of us has to be.” Both bots laugh a bit before all the tension in the room left. First Aid: “… But seriously 5 Shanix?” Wobbles: “In my defense, 5 Shanix was a lot around that sector.”

Young Wobbles seconds before disaster.

[veronica-lawson-phd]

...I'm going to enroll back in Hatchetfield High.

@delphi-sees-all

I thought you were trying to leave?

[nymphachilles]

Sharing more of my culture🤺🤺🤺

The title of Cumaean Sibyl was actually from the high Italic priestess, who presided over the oracle of Apollo, and Hecate. located in the Magna Graecia city of Cuma . She carried out her oracular activity near Lake Avernus , in a cave known as the " Cave of the Sibyl " where the priestess, inspired by the divinity, transcribed her prophecies in hexameters on palm leaves which, at the end of the prediction, were mixed by the winds coming from the hundred openings of the cave, making the prophecies "sibylline", that is, difficult and uncertain to interpret. Her importance in the Italic world was equal to that of the famous oracle of Apollo of Delphi in Greece .

These Sibyls were young virgins, who were thought to be able to live longer than ordinary mortals (which is why they are sometimes depicted as decrepit old women), who performed divinatory activities , entering a state of trance ( furor ).

The etymology of the Italian Sibilla derives from the Latin Sibylla , which in turn refers to the ancient Greek Σῐ́βυλλᾰ ( Síbulla ). Although the hypothesis remains uncertain, going back to the Doric Σίοβολλα ( Síobolla ), it is hypothesized that its meaning can be found in the Attic Θεοβούλη ( Theoboúlē ), that is, “divine will”.

So here is a drawing for now

[lord-squiggletits]

In Pharma apologist posts where people display/argue the canon proof of Pharma being a good person before Delphi, something I don't see come up that after and idk why because it's a blazing beacon of Pharma's ordinarily upstanding skills and personality:

Pharma was literally Ratchet's next choice for CMO when he was looking to retire and find a replacement.

Like.

Forget the fact that they were friends and Ratchet wouldn't be friends with someone who was a piece of shit.

You don't pick someone to be the CMO, top leader of the entire medical division of the Autobot army, if the only thing going for them is that they're a good surgeon. Being a good leader (especially at that high of an organizational level) requires all kinds of other skills like intelligence, good judgment, ethical and moral standards, etc.

And based on Ratchet's characterization, we really don't have any reason to assume that Ratchet is biased, bad at judging character, etc. If Ratchet, based on a lifetime of being friends/coworkers with Pharma, thought that he was the best candidate for the next CMO, there was literally a reason for it and that reason is that Pharma was not only a good doctor, but a good person and a good leader before Delphi happened and he got driven insane by a literal professional torturer and sadist.

[satisfactionlevel]

more hpcc performance notes of west end year 8⚡️(12/2/25)

I SAW IT AGAIN. I swear every I see the show I notice something different. Here goes my absolute feral thoughts:

🚂act 1: 

Albus gave Ron a very weak thumbs up after Ron’s magic trick lol 

Harry ruffled Albus’s hair on the platform when he told him to remember to enjoy himself, and Albus’s hair is COMPLETELY sticking up on the side, and then as Albus was going on the train Harry tried to smooth it down.🆘

Polly’s mean girl bully energy is DIVINE. 

Lily looking for her potions book in Albus’s room??? It literally never clicked for me before, but the reason she’s searching there is probably because she’s been studying in Albus’s room during the summer holiday?? Maybe even with Albus helping her with homework?? it’s so cute I cantttt! and the way Albus smiles at her when she said her wings are fluttery😭WE NEED MORE LILY AND ALBUS MOMENTS 

Fourth year train scene, Scorpius literally was just smiling and gazing out of the window as he waited for Albus to join him in their compartment. (As a contrast to how he buried himself in a book while looking ill at ease with himself in the first year train journey.) MY CINNAMON BUN NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COST, I WILL COMMIT MURDER FOR HIM

and OH BOY Albus and Scorpius were standing SO CLOSE on the train when Albus was telling Scorpius about his plan to save Cedric. (There is a thing called personal space. Albus makes a point about it with literally everyone else, but he forgets it exists when he’s with Scorpius.)

and that curtesy Scorpius did to Albus as he’s told he’s an enormous geek?? peak neurospicy behaviour

Scorpius fails to climb up the train on his first try, Albus gets in front of him and whispers “watch this” as he climbed 

THE WAY SCORPIUS GRABBED ALBUS in the Amos scene, when Amos took out his wand. It’s full-on man handling.

Scorpius/Harry touching Albus/Ron’s face when they first transfigured, and the literally pushing Albus/Ron’s face as he said “go to your room”. I AM NOT OKAY

Albus/Ron adjusting his voice to sound deeper lol 

Scorpius/Harry sounded so hurt when he asked Albus/Ron why he didn’t tell him about his argument with Harry 

Albus/Ron exclaimed at something as they were searching the bookcase in the ministry. Scorpius/Harry immediately screamed back without even knowing what it was about😭They’re both actually feral

OH AND THE WAY Albus/Ron growled at Harry as he was leaving the ministry?? I mean I think it’s a bit ooc for Albus, but boy it was so funny!

Ginny and Ron play fighting like kids lol they’re so silly 

the way Scorpius is so NOT ON BOARD with Albus’s whole stealing-the-time-turner plan, the way he’s anxious and scared as hell, but STILL FOLLOWED along with Albus? That’s true devotion and love. 

🚂act 2:

Albus staring at Scorpius when he was talking about how he longed to go to Hogwarts. Albus literally had stars in his eyes. HE’S SO IN LOVE. HE DOESN’T EVEN REALISE IT BUT WE ALL DO.

The intensity of their eye contact after Scorpius said “you’re my best friend”???? Hello?????

Tri wiz task 1, as Harry was being introduced, Jake as a slytherin student said to Jayden as another slygherin student “You’re not supposed to cheer, you’re supposed to boo him!”

“hOw mAnY owLs hAs hE sEnt yOu nOw??” Oh boy Scorpius was so jealous at Delphi. I’m cracking uppppp 

And also just how genuinely concerned Scorpius was when Delphi told him she was ill as a child. Scorpius has a heart of gold. He’s the most precious character in the entire HP universe, I accept no second opinion.

Library scene, the way Polly shushed Albus and Scorpius while holding up her book high in the air, she was sassy for real. THE AUDACITY of them to speak loud in a library?

*The audience gasping when Albus said “I wasn’t a loser until I met you.” * 

THE SCORPIUS LIBRARY MONOLOGUE hit like a freight train today. literally. so so good. I think I died about 6 times at this scene alone. (Harry Acklowe’s Scorpius is pure perfection.)

Draco literally was like “hehe” when Ginny said harry does most of the cooking. He’s so unserious!!

The way Myrtle pointed at Albus and death stared him down when Albus interrupted her crying?? Girl, literally same. 

And Scorpius’s nervous, awkward laugh when Myrtle was blocking him from entering the bathroom tunnel with HER LEG??😭

Oh the writing on the board in Hermione as DADA professor’s class is in mirror image. Never noticed it before!

🚂act 3:

“For Valerie Voldemort” - literally what is going on in Scorpius’s head for him to come up with that??? 

I’m probably completely deranged but someone needs to write a fic about a Scorpius and Craig ship in the Dark AU. (Dark AU Craig shares the same sincere, dorky and awkward energy with Scorpius.) (you can see the vision, right?!)

Snape pausing to process the fact that Harry named his child after him😭

“Have you been eating too many sweets again?” This line is so underrated! Emphasis on AGAIN. Just imagine all the sugar rushes Albus had to watch Scorpius go through before. 

The way Albus held on to Scorpius’s waist as he hugged him in the lake??? Hello???

When Scorpius was shrieking his head off at seeing everyone again in the lake, Professor McGonnagal actually pointed her wand at him. Honestly, I would too (lovingly)

The delivery of “Scorpius matters to me” was perfection. Ellis’s Albus is so, so good.

And the way Albus rolled his eyes at Scorpius in the dorm scene, when Scorpius was talking about how fearless and unanxious he’s become? So real. I would roll my eyes (lovingly) at Scorpius for that too bestie.

After Delphi said Albus’s weakness is love, Albus stared at the ground, then very slowly raised his gaze to meet Scorpius’s. OH GOD the sheer vulnerability in his eyes. 

After Scorpius got the first Crucio curse, Albus, without a wand and with his hands bound, was running towards Delphi head first. Was he trying to HEADBUTT Delphi💀

oh boy the little tremble in Albus’s voice in the maze when he said “She’s threatened to kill you” - I am unwell. 

Albus saying he’ll get an augurey tattoo too - well obviously he’s not gonna get one of that now, but imagine what tattoo he’ll be actually getting? WILL IT BE SOMETHING ABOUT SCORPIUS? 

Also Harry and Draco were both way too mean to Amos!!! I mean I understand it, but still. 

🚂act 4:

WHAT ABOUT THAT BREATHING EXERCISE THING?? It feels like Albus has done that for/with Scorpius hundreds of times before, because let’s be honest, Scorpius probably has an anxiety / sensory / information overload meltdown three times a week, and Albus would just co-regulate with him by doing breathing exercises every time. 

I need to read a fic about their 40 years hiding in a hole together. (does it exist already?? should I write it???)

Draco is so right with his enthusiasm for thatched roofs and farmer’s market, I love them too.

The way Albus buried his face in Ginny’s shoulder. Their bond is so beautiful to watch. 

“tHeRe’s pLeNty yOu’Re gOod aT, Albus!” Harry really tried😭

honestly act 4 is my least favourite?? is this controversial?? it just feels really rushed. they’re so many plot holes in this act too.

The way Rose giggled after the staircase scene in the end. SHE SHIPS SCORBUS FOR REAL.

Albus be retching at “I think it’s a bonding thing”, then ten minutes later he be saying “Scorpius is the most important person in my life”. Ah, the duality of mind. He’s so real for that.

What about a fic where Albus does become a professional pigeon racer?!?! WHAT THEN?!?!

This part is short because my concentration is just GONE at the end 

—

That’s it for the notes<3 I was low key hoping to see Scorbus covers as it was a mid week performance. But honestly? Harry and Ellis’s Scorbus is gonna be hard to surpass. It was my first time seeing Alex as Ron and Sabina as Hermione, they bring such a different energy to it!

Here’s the cast board:

[honeybee2807]

I've heard people claim that Albus wasn't a Slytherin at all or joined Slytherin cuz of Scorpius and I heavily disagree with this notion.

My unpopular opinion: Albus is the most Slytherin-est Slytherin to ever Slytherin and he's even more Slytherin than Draco and Scorpius.

Point 1: I've seen people claim that neither Albus nor Scorpius are particularly ambitious

Hello? What do you call the whole save-Cedric-Diggory-who-died-more-than-twenty-years-ago-by-stealing-an-illegal-and-dangerous-timeturner-by-breaking-into-the-ministry idea? A flight of fancy? That's a huge ambition.

Point 2: Albus was incredibly determined to this insane plan. Dude was willing to kiss his own aunt multiple times just to grab his hands on the time turner. Albus, who was very fearful of being evil, was willing to commit multiple serious crimes just for this plan.

When the time travel failed the first time and Albus' cousins got deleted out of existence, dude was still persistent to try the time turner the second time. Any sensible person would stop after the first disastrous attempt but dude was determined to his goal.

Albus has so much ambition and determination inside him(way too much imo) that he doesn't need the other traits to be called a proper Slytherin. But no, it doesn't end here

Point 3: Dude is resourceful and sometimes incredibly clever. The way he quickly thought up the blanket idea to contact their parents in the future is astounding. His plan to defeat Delphi(while it had to be tweaked a bit) was pretty solid and it was instrumental in saving the time line.

Cunning? Ehhh... Not so much. You could claim he did deceive Harry into thinking that the kids ran away. And he did deceive Hermione by getting polyjuiced. But his cunning ain't the level of his ambition and his determination.

Point 4: People claim that Albus was a kind guy. No way could he be in gasp Slytherin.

You are being a Slytherinophobe(I'm creating a new term lol). There are plenty of great Slytherins. Albus was using his Slytherin traits for good. And before anyone mentions it, Albus' Slytherin traits overshadows his Gryffindor traits(tho his bravery level is so frigging high)

Conclusion: Dude is very Slytherin. Very very snakey.

[blue--ingenue]

Scorpius Malfoy Headcannons - Kindness

Content Warnings: mentions of depression, anxiety, self-harm

his kindness stems from enormous empathy and intelligence. between his grief for Astoria, sympathy for his father’s ostracization as a former Deatheater, and years of bullying, he understands suffering (both his and others’). he knows what it’s like to feel like nobody understands your pain, and he’s spent years helplessly watching his loved ones suffer (powerless to stop Astoria’s blood curse, and unable to soothe his father’s grief after her passing). pain is an old and constant companion. he doesn’t want anyone to feel like that, which is why he’s so quick to comfort others (even if this leads him to put others’ needs before his own)

he’d rather feel pain than inflict it. whether emotional or physical, he is quick to take the hits for those he loves. this tendency combined with his empathy leads him to put his needs second. we see this when he listens to Albus vent about Harry for years, but doesn’t seem to confront him about this one-sided sympathy until he blows up in the library scene. scorpius also does this multiple times when he and Al are held captive by Delphi:

the second she trains her wand on him, Scorp’s priority are appearing strong for Albus and assuring him that no matter what she does, they cannot break down and do her bidding. more subtly, he keeps Delphi’s attention on himself rather than Albus just before they are saved by Cedric. if her wrath and focus are on him, she’s less likely to curse his best friend

he does feel anger, jealousy, and bitterness, but he mostly internalizes it. where Albus is more expressive with his frustrations, Scorpius prefers to keep it to himself, unpack it later so he can figure out what to do with it on his own

he places a lot of pressure on himself to be the bright, happy boy he was growing up. ever since Astoria’s health took a turn for the worse, he made it his duty to keep up appearances for his parents. they were already under so much stress, he felt guilty at the thought of “burdening” them with his own grief and troubles. Draco mentions how Astoria wanted to have a child so that he would have something left of her once she passed away. Scorpius knows this, so he makes it his mission to be a source of light for his father. (even if this means suppressing his own grief and pain to keep up the facade)

it's been confirmed by the playwrights that Scorpius has depression and engages in self-harm. (i don't know the exact page number from the Broadway companion book, but they mention that Scorpius carved the marks into his wand, mirroring his own arms). he's been to the scariest places one's mind can travel to, and he knows how being shown just a bit of kindness and understanding can save someone's life

he’s capable of seeing the best in people, but he’s long since stopped expecting it. i’ve seen a lot of people talking about how Scorpius’ constant kindness makes his character appear flat, but i think this is one of his overwhelming traits simply because we rarely see him blow up. most of his internal conflicts are just that, internal. he analyzes every step before he takes one, and he knows the power of choosing the right things to say. we already know he’s book-smart, but he also has such a high emotional intelligence

he’s a forgiving person because he can understand people’s deeper emotions and motivations. he can understand why someone did what they did, but he’s smart enough to know that their motivation is not an excuse. the reasoning does not absolve them of guilt or wrongdoing. and while he has a strong sense of moral justice, he tends to be more forgiving towards those he cares about, which leads to emotional burnout

overall, i just think that Scorpius is highly empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and doesn’t want to see people feel the pains he’s experienced his whole life 

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[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

where. TF. did french black family come from??? like lets bffr regulus? sirius? ORION? BELLATRIX? ANDROMEDA? NARCISSA (narcissus???) they're so so so greek! and their ancestry traces back to ancient greece (hc) cuz they're the most noble and ANCIENT like c'mon??? they're not going oui oui baguette??? they're speak modern greek and sirius dechipers ancient greek and latin too just for fun cuz orion taught him (also also ties to Hecate or smth, ancestors were worshippers, not current fam are casual devotees, blah blah blah, i have sm to say on this) CMON? THINK PEOPLE THINK (help i need to calm down but still) spreading the greek black family agenda

wait i love this. i've hced them to be english w greek lineage for a while now, like the olden timey Blacks being high priests of delphi and when the romans took over they settled in england and spread their mania + connected w other families who were as crazy about magic as them (from the sacred 28, not that it existed then). they believe they've been blessed or something which makes them the best of the best.

in the modern day they aren't firm believers in it but every now and then there was someone frantic and crazy who clung to their lineage extra tight, and in this generation it was walburga. i just posted this here. sawr.

anyway yes i think this is perfect anddd i love you. send me 500000 thoughts forever.