#him realizing that he wouldn’t be himself without the emotional side of him

[an-actual-floof]

nothing like being back on the Enterprise with your reckless husband Captain to make you rethink backing out of your Kolinahr

a late sketch for the day 1 prompt “Kolinahr” from @rubbertplant ‘s Spocktober!!

[dustofthedailylife]

It Must Be Love

-> Masterlist || → Taglist

Pairing: Blade, Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, Gepard, Welt x (gn!) Reader

Summary: When they realized they had feelings for you...

Tags: Fluff, SFW, mention of injuries (Blade), just them realizing they're completely smitten

A/N: My last fic before my Japan vacation! I got a lot more in my WIP stash that I'll get to after. Excited to get to that when I'm back, or maybe I can finish one or the other fic in the evening on my vacation when I'm in bed. We'll see. Stay amazing until then! <3

BLADE

When you joined the Stellaron Hunters he shot down your every attempt of trying to get to know him and stayed clear of you. He was curt and only ever spoke with you if it was necessary. In his opinion, there was no need for you two to be acquainted. And it would be for your own good anyway.

It wasn’t until you came back gravely injured from a mission and were passed out for days, that he wouldn’t leave your side.

He sat on the armchair in your room most of the time, and was either sleeping or meditating with his eyes closed. He occasionally switched your bandages and cleaned your wounds while insisting he’d be the only one to do it. After all, he involuntarily had quite the expertise with injuries himself.

And when the day you began to stir awake again finally came, and he heard the quiet plea for water come over your parched lips, he felt a wave of relief wash over him.

He told himself over and over again that he didn’t care about anyone and wouldn’t dare to allow himself to care anymore. In fact, he may have even thought he wasn’t capable of it anymore. But feelings are often beyond one's control or rational explanation. And deep down he had always known that he cared deeply about you. 

He had only steered clear of you because it had been evident to him, that if he allowed himself to care, there would be no going back. Alas, it now was too late for that as well. Yet it did not matter any longer. All he cared about was that you were still alive.

“Never get hurt like this again.” He scolded with a voice seemingly devoid of any emotion, as he lifted a bottle of water to your lips so you could drink. 

But despite the underlying sharp tone in his voice, there was sincere concern in his eyes only a few people ever got to see. And he knew he was no longer able to hide it.

DAN HENG

Himeko brought you along one day and introduced you to the Astral Express Crew as their newest member, a bundle of energy much like March. And everyone seems ecstatic to welcome you aboard. Everyone but Dan Heng. He curtly introduced himself without shaking your outstretched hand, before vanishing back to his room again without another word.

It would be a lie if he said he didn’t find you attractive, but Alas, he couldn’t allow himself to get closer. One more person on the Express only meant there were more people he had to keep secrets from. Besides, you seemed just as lively and energetic as March was, and if he was sure of one thing it’s that one March was already enough. So that was even more reason to steer clear of you for his own peace of mind.

So in turn he tried keeping you at an arm's length. The only problem however was, that you apparently weren’t deterred by his cold demeanor and practically threw yourself at him at every chance you got.

You would often knock on his door to bring him some freshly brewed tea, rummage through the archive or call him quirky nicknames you came up with. He could only roll his eyes at them, but secretly he began to like them and caught himself smiling whenever he thought of them. 

At first, he managed to remain distanced and only spoke to you when it was strictly necessary, but he soon began to warm up more and more. Until he would eventually find himself beginning to crave your presence every day.

And it was when he found himself looking at the empty chair you used to sit on almost every evening now, that he became aware of his feelings for you. The naggings and nicknames that used to bother him, now made his heart beat quicker and a tingly feeling made itself known in his stomach.

The simple image of your smile made the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. The sound of your voice always managed to soothe his nerves. And your absence made him feel incomplete.

It was then he had to admit to himself that there was no longer any point in denying it. He had inevitably fallen for you.

JING YUAN

When there was more administrative work to do on the Luofu due to the recent happenings, Qingzu, who was assisting Jing Yuan with the additional workload, proposed to hire someone else to help as well. To be precise, help with caring for the general’s lion, since it was usually Qingzu’s task. But since she was preoccupied with other matters right now, there was a distinct lack of time.

And that’s when you were hired.

You were tasked to care for Mimi in Qingzu’s stead from hereon out and seemed to immediately get along with the animal quite well, too. It certainly put Jing Yuan’s mind at ease to know that his lion was adequately cared for.

One day, when Jing Yuan returned earlier than usual from his duties he found you peacefully asleep on the sofa, your head comfortably nestled in the fur of the equally asleep lion. But he didn’t dare to disturb your slumber and returned to his desk with a smile on his face since he too felt the weight of sleep oftentimes throughout the day.

Once you awoke you practically jumped up when you saw him sitting at his desk already, ushering a shy “Oh, General. I didn’t expect you to be back home at such a time already. Forgive me.”

He just let out a soft chuckle in reply, assuring you that there was no need to worry and that it actually put his mind at ease that you got along so well with Mimi.

After this, he made a conscious effort to come back home earlier more often. And every time, without fail, he would find you sleeping together with his lion in the afternoon sun. Your peaceful expression and the quiet purr of his lion truly was a sight for sore eyes 

And if his lion loved you, what was he supposed to feel if not the same?

GEPARD

Gepard saw you for the first time when he stopped by his sister's workshop. He caught a quick glimpse of you before you vanished into the side room of the workshop again.

Of course, his sister immediately caught him staring. Because he stood there stunned and only stared holes into the door you vanished through. 

If Serval was good at one thing, it was reading Gepard like a book. And she only needed one look at his face to know exactly what he was thinking. Of course, she took the opportunity to tease him about it with a big grin across her face, much to the embarrassment of Gepard who only cleared his throat and diverted the topic, unable to hide the red blooming across his cheeks.

He soon found out that you were a singer and songwriter and that you and Serval sometimes performed together in a local club. And he found himself venturing there on his off days to watch your show. 

Serval introduced you to him and eventually, you began to become closer. Asking him if he would come to your next gig as well. And of course, he did. In fact, he did so often that he had all your songs memorized down to a T now and often found himself humming them absentmindedly throughout the day. 

And suddenly, as one of his subordinates asked him which song he keeps humming all the time now, he became aware of the feelings he harbored for you.

The warm, prickly feeling within his chest. The way his heartbeat quickened, or the corners of his mouth turned upwards involuntarily whenever he saw you, talked to you, or thought of you.

It was undeniable. He had fallen in love in love with you.

WELT

Welt and you were just colleagues. At least that's what he was trying to convince himself of at first. 

Research and worries about your mission often woke you up at night recently, so you often got up to brew a fresh pot of coffee. And Welt found you sitting in an armchair in the parlor car one night when he, too, got up in the middle of the night because his thoughts had kept him awake.

You offered him a cup of coffee as well before you sat back down. Each just sipped their coffee in silence. You gazed at the stars outside of the window of the Express while he tried to read some book to keep his mind off the thoughts that had kept him awake.

Yet, he found himself unable to concentrate on it and instead stole glances at you while rattling his brain about what he could talk about with you.

Eventually, you were the first one to break the silence. Initiating a conversation about the vastness of the universe and the thing that are yet beyond any human comprehension. Asking questions no man knew an answer to yet. And he was more than happy to indulge in the conversation. 

You ended up talking until the morning hours that night without the conversation ever dying down. He enjoyed the talk you had so much, he found himself thinking about it for weeks after.

Long deep talks over a fresh pot of coffee in the middle of the night should soon become a habit for both of you.

And he came to crave them so much that he even started setting an alarm at night and went to check if you were there again as well. And most of the time you were. 

One night, when he looked at you and saw the light of the stars reflect in your eyes once again, he too had to admit he was looking straight at a star himself.

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about HSR or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

[marjorie189]

Coward - Vinnie Hacker Smut

description: Vinnie cuts things off with Y/N when things get rough. After a month of Vinnie delving his emotions into work, he can no longer put his feelings aside. He realizes he makes the biggest mistake of his life. 

word count: 13,933

consists of: a rollercoaster of emotions, foreplay, dry humping, p in v, aftercare reconciliation. Jacob Day is mentioned in this fic. 

italics are flashbacks! 

Let’s get started!

❁

Vinnie and Y/N.

Anytime anyone hears those names together, the first thing that comes to mind is what a perfect match they are for one another.

Their close friends know it, their fans know it, heck even they know it. Everyone does.

But, a better way to describe it now is, was a perfect match.

It all started with different fashion companies wanting to work with them for their fashion weeks. YSL and Dior partnering with Vinnie. Versace and Chanel partnering with Y/N.

The two were crazy busy. It was getting hard to maintain a healthy relationship. Between creating visions with the brands, fittings, events, photoshoots. It felt like the relationship they once knew was a lifetime ago.

The two were optimistic, you can give them that. They wanted to make things work. The whole fashion week events would be over someday, they’d say in motivation to pull through with it all.

When the fashion weeks did come, they’d be in the same city. Whether it was Milan, Paris, New York, or any other beautiful city, unfortunately they were hardly together.

Once all the fashion weeks were over though, they felt relieved. They finally felt like things would finally go back to normal for them.

The two were always always hip to hip. It was rare to see one without the other. They were practically like a married couple, never leaving each other's side. The only difference between a married couple and them was that they maintained the same love for each other. Married couples usually lose their flame after a while, but not them.

They were truly in love.

Right when they got back from the fashion world to their lovely and comforting home in California, their plans of going back to the way things were changed. Vinnie had to fly to Paris for a fashion shoot with Ami Paris.

Y/N was excited for him, she was so proud of him. Of course she felt sad knowing Vinnie had to leave. They hadn’t spent much time together in the past couple months, but nevertheless she was proud of his achievements.

Vinnie, on the other hand, felt horrible. He knew he would have to be traveling from Paris to LA, LA to Paris, repeatedly. All he wanted to do was give Y/N the time of day. He wanted to love her, spend every forsaken second with her. He missed doing that. They would do it all the time before the world they knew got crazy, he was looking forward to doing it again. But nope, the world had other plans in store for them.

Y/N, not even for one second felt like they wouldn’t manage it all. Hell yeah, it was hard, but they would get through it. They already had, what’s one more? She’d miss him tons but she’d be counting the days, weeks, for him to fully be in her graces again. They’d for sure need a vacation after all of it.

But Vinnie. Oh, Vinnie.

He felt guilty. He loved his girl. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her. He cared deeply for her and it tore him apart that he’d have to leave again.

This time it was different. The two had been looking forward to this present moment for months now. But he had to ruin it with another campaign. If it were up to only him, he would hit them with a hard pass. He’d prefer to be with his baby sprawled up, under his covers. They hadn’t been able to do that in months. It was always go, go, go.

They were supposed to do nothing together. That was their plan, that is what they had been looking forward to.

He kept pondering to himself that it was all his fault. He’d leave Y/N in a couple days, all alone this time. She would no longer be working like crazy, surrounded by thousands of people. It would just be her, without him. She would be at home, without him.

“What’s wrong?” She would ask, frowning.  

Vinnie was sitting at the edge of his bed, quietly. Y/N was kneeling behind him as she wrapped her arms under his buff arms.

It took him a few seconds to respond.

“Nothing.” He’d say.

“Come on, Vinnie. You should be happy, right now!” She said, knowing he was upset about Paris. She knew him more than anyone. She could see right through him. “Sure, I know it’s going to be hard. I know. But it’s me and you against the world, nothing can stop us. You’ve got to lighten up. Seeing you like this makes me feel down too, you know?” She murmured the last part, pressing her lips onto his soft cheek.

And for that second, he felt like they could actually pull through. He was just too far up in his thoughts. He was focusing too much on the negativity to realize that they’ve never failed at loving each other.

Vinnie woke up the next morning, before his sweet Y/N. He caught himself feeling guilty and upset with himself, all over again.

Right beside him, restfully sleeping was his world.

He felt his throat clenching as he realized he couldn’t give you this. You two would no longer wake up to each other, huddled up. He hated that.

He got out of bed roughly leaving you behind. He walked into his conjoined restroom and stared at the sink countertop. If it wasn’t for Y/N being a couple feet away, he would’ve let his rage take over and punch the countertop.

He just couldn’t do it.

He thought about it for a couple hours that day. Y/N had woken up a while ago, but Vinnie pushed her away. He finally came to the conclusion, he had made a plan. He had to let Y/N know now in order for it to work out before he had to leave for Paris.

He sat her down. Thankfully she started speaking first, he didn’t know how to start the conversation.

“Are you finally going to acknowledge me? It feels like all day you’ve been ignoring me,” She spoke out, seemingly hurt.

“I-I’m sorry,” He croaked out. He was holding it all in. He looked down at his lap, fidgeting and playing with his beautiful hands.

“Vinnie, I thought we talked about this,” She expressed with a sigh. She scooted closer to him, she was wrapping her legs around his waist, in an attempt to get him finally to look at her.

Before she could, he pulled her off of him, placing her beside him.

“No, Y/N! I don’t think this is going to work out!” Vinnie let out, finally speaking to her this whole day.

“W-what?” Y/N said, she felt taken aback, realizing what Vinnie meant.

‘It’s over. I’m sorry.” He said standing up.

“Vinnie! What are you talking about? We can make this work. I don’t understand why you’re making this a greater deal than it has to be! I can wait, I’ll always wait for you.” Y/N exclaimed, standing up as well.

And that’s what broke him. Once she said that last sentence, it was final. He wasn’t turning back.

Vinnie’s first part and might it be added the hardest part of his plan was done.

Next he would talk to Jack, his best friend.

“You know how we’ve been speaking about moving out of the Hype House for a while now?” Vinnie said, bringing up the topic to him.

“Yeah! You, me, and Y/N!” Jack says, smiling at the thought, not taking the conversation too seriously.

“Yeah well change of plans. Just you, me, Jett, and a couple other gu-” Vinnie blurted out.

“Okay holda holda holda up!” Jack said back tracing. “Are you being serious about moving out right now? And second of all why is Y/N out of the picture? I thought she wanted to have some privacy away from the ruckus of the Hype House. We all did,” Jack questioned.

“Y/N and I broke up,” Vinnie says so nonchalantly.

Jack seemed like he was about to have a panic attack.

“WHAT?!” He yelled out. “Why do you seem so off right now, so fine? Are you okay?” Jack asks quickly.

“Are we moving in together or what? I already looked into a couple places online.” Vinnie shot out.

And that’s how it all started. Vinnie was moving into a new house with Jack and a couple other of their friends.

Y/N and Vinnie were over.

Vinnie had a couple more days before traveling to Paris, and he wanted everything to be right in place. His plan was working perfectly.

His plan to leave Y/N.

He had started to pack everything up in his room at the Hype House. The news of Y/N and Vinnie’s split had spread throughout the house.

Vinnie was quiet and closed off, not speaking to anyone, steering away from everyone.

Y/N of course had tried talking to him. To try to fix it all. She knew Vinnie was making a mistake, a horrible one at that, but he would just turn a blind eye. Completely neglecting her.

Vinnie had passed by his room one last time, the night before his flight.

He was standing in the middle of his now empty room and Y/N had entered Vinnie’s room.

“Please don’t leave me,” Y/N shakily let out, whimpering as she wrapped herself around Vinnie’s toned waist. Her head resting on his firm chest.

She broke down in an instant, tears pouring down her face, shuddering tears.

“You’re the love of my life, Vin,” She whispered into his chest. “Please, don’t leave me.”

It was like an instinct because he didn’t even realize that his arms were wrapped around her back, hugging her.

He stood tall, emotionless.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” He muttered, as he loosened his arms around her.

He pulled away from her, walking out of his old room, leaving Y/N behind as she cried her heart out.

As Vinnie left the house, Y/N had slid down the wall in the now unclaimed room, crying on the floor.

She cried for a good twenty minutes. As her tears ceased, she breathed out as she examined the room in which she fell in love.

The memories that were made there.

She looked at the wall across from her. That’s where Vinnie’s desk and PC used to be. Vinnie would stream there, play Valorant, and where he taught her how to play video games. He would always let her sit on his lap as he played. She would sometimes stand behind his gaming chair and massage his broad shoulders, watching him play.

It broke her heart thinking.

Her eyes roamed to the big empty space in between the walls. That’s where his bed used to lay. The bed in which they watched movies and stayed up all night talking. It’s where they cuddled and made love.

Silent tears streamed down her warm cheek.

She would no longer be able to play with his soft curly hair and hug him. No longer be able to kiss his red plump lips, the ones she loved.

Her eyes roamed the door, the walls, his bathroom sink, his shower, where his bed used to lay, his PC area, all places they’d had sex.

It was all over.

After a while, she finally got the courage to walk out of his room. She walked across the hall to her room and dove under her covers.

All she wanted to do was drown in her sleep, hoping it would be all over when she woke up, like a terrible nightmare.

She tried her hardest to not cry. She felt like all she’s been doing since Vinnie broke things off with her is cry.

Y/N just wanted to be as emotionless as Vinnie. She didn’t want to feel the pain anymore.

Crying made her feel everything.

She didn’t want to cry anymore, just sleep.

She tossed and turned, uncovered herself and covered herself with her sheets, and even tried different sleeping positions. Nothing managed to get her to a restful sleep.

After what seemed like an hour, she couldn’t take it anymore. She was frustrated with herself, she felt angry.

All Y/N wanted was for her and Vinnie to be okay.

She stood up from her bed, grabbed her sheets, cover, and a pillow.

She walked across the hall and walked into the empty room.

She went to the corner in which she was crying in earlier.

She took a deep breath and dropped everything she had in her hands onto the floor.

Y/N spread her sheets across the cold floor and placed the pillow at the top.

Y/N got ahold of her duvet and covered herself under it, laying on top of her sheets. Her head on top of her pillow.

She looked around the dark room as she laid on the floor. She somehow felt at ease in what used to be Vinnie’s room.

She didn’t feel as lonely there. The tears from earlier had dried up on her face, but new ones brimmed.

She felt comfortable in his room but it broke her heart, thinking of everything that had occurred.

Y/N started crying on the bed she had put together on the floor. The comforter that covered her almost swallowed her whole. Her eyes and top of her head were all that could be seen.

Her breathing was getting rough, her eyes were stinging, her face was wet.

Her heart stung, it physically hurt. It felt as if it was being clenched and pulled away from her. All she wanted was for this pain to be over.

Her eyes were getting to the point where they were heavily drooping.

Next thing you know she was passed out on her ex-boyfriend’s floor.

Somewhere along the walls of the Hype House was Jacob Day.

Jacob Day was one of the newer members of the Hype House. He started living with them a couple months ago. Around the time where Vinnie and Y/N had started to get insanely busy.

Jacob heard about the news. He honestly did not expect it. He never really got to know Y/N nor Vinnie because they were hardly ever at the house. But he would always hear their names from Mia and Thomas and of course he knew of them.

He had seen Vinnie leave earlier that day. It was getting late and he decided to check up on Y/N.

Jacob didn’t know her all that well but knew that breakups were hard, especially theirs, everyone thought they’d be together forever. They really did seem in love, he’d thought.

It sounded cheesy but if anyone would have to bet money on who would last, it would be on them.

Plus, whenever Y/N was at the house, she was always kind and welcoming to him. And, it seemed like she was finally going to be spending more time at the house. Why not make a friend?

He wanted to return the kind gesture.

Jacob walked towards her room, knocking softly at her door.

The door slightly opened due to his knocks, and he caught sight of an empty room. Y/N was nowhere to be seen.

He took a slight turn about to head back to his room, but as he turned around he noticed the door across from hers. Vinnie’s room.

He stepped closer to Vinnie’s door and quietly placed his hand on the door handle. He would check just in case Y/N was in there. He had a feeling she was.

He soundlessly opened the door and it was pitch black in there. If it wasn’t for the moonlight’s reflection hitting the ground floor, he wouldn’t have noticed her.

Jacob frowned at the sight. He almost felt his heart pang. He didn’t know the girl, but it was still upsetting to see.

He didn’t know what to do. He stood there for a couple seconds, at the entrance of the room.

He didn’t want to wake her because what would he even say?

Jacob got the idea of letting Thomas know. Y/N and him were close, he would know what to do.

He quietly closed the door not wanting to wake her.

As soon as Jacob let Thomas know the situation, Thomas immediately went to the site. Jacob followed behind him.

Thomas walked into Vinnie’s empty dark room to find his best friend on the ground, sleeping.

At the sight, Thomas let out a sad sigh. He knew Y/N was struggling with Vinnie leaving.

Thomas neared closer to Y/N’s laid body. He bent down beside her and caught the sight of her red nose and cheeks alongside her puffy eyes.

Thomas carried her up and out of the floor, her blanket still wrapped around her body. Thomas and Jacob walked out of Vinnie’s room as Y/N was peacefully sleeping in Thomas’ arms, shutting the door closed behind them.

Y/N shifted in her sleep, realizing she was no longer on the comfortable floor.

She hummed as she squinted her eyes at the huge headache she had.

Y/N opened her eyes and realized that Thomas’ had lifted her out of the floor and was currently walking.

“Tom? What are you doing?” She asked sleepily, looking up at him.

“I’m taking you to mine and Mia’s room. You can sleep there,” He said sweetly, smiling down at her.

Y/N looked up at the ceiling and caught the glimpse of Jacob walking behind them.

Her eyes widened and she felt her cheeks warming up. She didn’t know Jacob all that well, and felt embarrassed that he had to see her that way.

She just huddled up with her blanket and onto Thomas' chest. Thomas was like her older brother, they had lived with each other for almost two years. She didn’t feel like she had to hide with him.

As Thomas made it to his room, he laid Y/N carefully next to a fully awake Mia.

Jacob awkwardly stood by the door and decided to go back to his room.

“I’ll leave you guys to it. Good night.” He said, waving at them.

Thomas and Mia wished him a good night and Thomas mouthed a “thank you” to him.

Jacob nodded with a smile and before he left, Y/N whispered a “good night” to him too.

He smiled and walked out the door.

Y/N looked away from the door and faced Mia, who was laying beside her.

“Come ‘ere” Mia said, wrapping her arms around Y/N knowingly.

Y/N let herself be embraced by her sweet best friend.

“I just miss him,” Y/N let out as Mia tightly hugged her.

“I know, baby. I know,” Mia comforted as she rubbed her back.

“You can sleep here for as long as you want,” Mia whispered after Y/N dried the tears off her face.

“Thanks. Both of you. You guys are the best,” Y/N said, finally letting out a smile.

“Is that a smile I see?” Thomas teasingly said.

“Maybe.” Y/N smiled.

She slept comfortably that night, they all did.

Present time

*a month later*

Y/N’s POV:

It had been a rough past couple of weeks but with everyday that came along, life seemed easier.

I had my career to be thankful for. It’s the most successful I’ve ever been.

I’ve gotten to spend more time with my friends and have even made a new one.

Jacob Day.

He’s a nice person to have around after a break up. Jacob is sweet, thoughtful, and caring.

I will admit, Jacob is one of the only reasons I’m able to smile, after Vinnie.  

He got me out of the gutter and helped me see the light of day.

We’ve gotten to spend a lot of time together this past month.

Jacob knew that I was hurting and made it a mission to get me to feel better. Ever since that night where he found me sleeping in Vinnie’s room.

At first it started with Jacob coming to visit me in my room. We would spend time in my room. He’d let me vent to him about Vinnie. He genuinely cared about how I felt and how the breakup was affecting me. After a while our conversations no longer consisted of Vinnie. Our time progressed to us having movie nights in my room or playing card games.

After about a week he’d finally got me out of my room. He helped me get ready, when it was the last thing I wanted to do. Jacob would help me pick out outfits and would make me sit on my vanity to do my makeup or my hair. He would wait patiently for me to get ready.

Whether it was just to go out for a walk or to grab a coffee. He’d wait however long. Knowing I would feel great, afterwards.

He was the sweetest.

We even planned and executed a Disneyland trip after watching countless of Disney movies. Now that was one of the best days I’ve had this past month.

If it wasn’t for Jacob I’d still be crying in my bed over Vinnie.

I was currently all dolled up in the kitchen waiting for Jacob to come downstairs for a coffee outing.

Mia was cooking food, while Thomas and I were standing around the kitchen.

“You sure you don’t want some food, Y/N/N?” Mia asked sweetly.

I shook my head thankfully.

“No thank you. I would but Jacob and I are going to grab some coffee,” I smiled over at her. “It looks delicious though!”

Mia smiled back with a nod.

“You know, you have been drinking a lot of coffee lately!” Thomas acknowledged.

“I know!” I exclaimed. “It’s all because of Jacob. His addiction to coffee is wearing out on me,”

“Do you get a coffee everytime he gets one too?!” Thomas questions with a shocked expression.

“Maybe…” I say with a smirk.

Mia and Thomas let out gasps.

“He just gets really good coffee and they’re really yummy!” I explain with a smile.

“Well I’m glad you two are getting along,” Thomas smiles.

“Yeah,” I nod. “Me too.”

I look over at Mia and she has a teasing smile on her face.

“Alright, what are you going on about?! What’s the foolish smirk for?” I ask with a playful eyeroll.

“You two are just spending a lot of time together-” Mia starts to converse before Thomas chimes in. “Like everyday!” He pipes in.

“All I’m going to say is I’m certain with all the time you two have spent together, Jacob must have some feelings for you,” Mia implored. “And I’m not mad about it!”

I rolled my eyes with a smile.

“Well I made it crystal clear to Jacob from the beginning that I’m not looking for anything and he knows that,” I declared.

“Well why did you have to make it crystal clear?” Thomas asked with a knowing smirk.

I rolled my eyes with a small blush as Mia elbowed me.

“Because we’ve gotten close to kissing a couple times and I do not want to lead him on and make him think we’re an item when we’re not. Vinnie and I’s break up is still fresh and I can not possibly have it in me to date someone at the moment,” I confessed.

“At the moment,” Both Thomas and Mia repeated.

“You two are crazy,” I say, shaking my head, with a little laugh slipping through my lips.

“Y/N!” I heard Jacob call out as he walked down the staircase.

“I’m in the kitchen,” I yell out.

“Is that a smile I see?” Thomas says as he furrows his eyebrows at me.

“No.” I say sassily.

“Rightt..” Mia trails off.

Jacob walks into the kitchen, his eyes meeting mine instantly.

He smiles widely as he walks over to me.

“Hey Jacob!” Mia cheerfully lets out.

“Hey Mia,” Jacob replies, his voice naturally deep.

“What’s up Jacob,” Thomas greets Jacob.

“Morning man,” Jacob smiles as Thomas and him fist bump each other.

“You ready to go?” Jacob asks, looking down at me.

I nod with a smile as he takes a hold of my arm.

Jacob was about to lead us out when Mia holds us back with a question.

“Jacob doesn’t Y/N look phenomenal today. There’s just something about her,” Mia asks.

My eyes widened.

“Really? I think she looks beautiful everyday,” Jacob answers cluelessly.

I let out a breath of relief knowing he didn’t catch onto Mia’s game. But, then I feel warm inside as I realize what he said.

“Aww! Thanks J!” I smile, embracing him in a hug.

Jacob lets out a chuckle holding me in his arms.

“Come on, let's go,” He says as we let go of our hug.

We walk towards the garage and he opens the passenger door of his car for me. I hop into his Corvette and fasten my seatbelt as he closes the door behind me. He hops into the driver’s seat turning the engine on.

“I was thinking we could go for brunch instead of just coffee, I’m getting hungry. How does that sound?” Jacob suggests.

“That sounds perfect!” I smile.

-

Vinnie’s POV:

Present time

I’m finally laying in my bed. Finally able to breath and relax.

But it’s unsettling. I feel out of my skin.

I’m no longer filled up with work, no longer able to avoid my problems. No longer able to ignore the thoughts of Y/N.

Now that I’m home, in California, after a whole month.

I wish it could all be a lie. Was I that stupid to let Y/N go?

I had been too busy in Paris with Ami doing press and photoshoots to even let my heart feel anything.

Now that I’m all alone, locked up in my room, I don’t know how to feel or what to do without her.

I haven’t even let myself feel the truth.

In my head, Y/N is still my girlfriend. We’re still together in my mind and heart.

I haven’t acknowledged the truth.

This last week, I had agreed and accepted my invitation to go to Seoul for Fashion Week. My heart had hoped that Y/N was going to be there too, but I never saw her. I don’t even think she attended, which caught me by surprise.

I was finally back home. If I could even call this new house a home. No one knew I was back in California, only Jack and Jett. According to the internet I’m still in Seoul.

Laying in this dark room, everything that I’ve been ignoring and avoiding has come to bite me in the ass.

The silence and emptiness is itching at me.

My mind can’t stop wandering to her.

What is she doing right now? Is she thinking of me too?

My mind wandered to my last night in California before going to Paris.

I sniffled, remembering Y/N crying in my chest, hugging me.

The way I just left her crying. I was such a jerk. Such a fucking asshole.

But I was hurting just as much as her. But we both wouldn’t have been in that predicament if I wouldn’t have been such a bitch and waited a month.

We both still could’ve been together. I know it for a fact. I would be laying with her, cuddling her right now, probably having the best night of my life with her if I would’ve just accepted that being in a long distance relationship wouldn’t be that bad. It would be worth it at this exact moment in time.

I stood up angrily out of my bed, headed straight for the wall, fist landing into the wall.

I felt my blood rushing to my fist and I let out a huff.

Nothing I put myself through, including causing myself pain, hurts more than what I’m feeling right now.

I let out a frustrated yell, landing on the floor. My legs pressed against my chest.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and did something I haven’t done this past month.

I opened up Y/N’s instagram page. I clicked on her most recent photo on her feed and my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest.

She looked so beautiful. She was smiling brightly with her perfect white teeth. Her hair falled over her shoulder.

All the tears that have been stored in, fell right then and there.

My loud crying filled the room.

My cheeks were all wet as I swiped to her next photo.

She looked so elegant and precious. I remember I was always the one who took photos of her for Instagram. I wonder who’s taking them for her now?

A smile grew on my face, watching her smile through my phone screen. I’m glad she’s able to move on and carry on with her day, with a smile. She deserves that and the whole world. I deserve to be the one that’s crying after a month of our breakup.

My heart breaks knowing I’m not the cause of that smile, not anymore.

And she’s working on herself. God, I’m proud of her. Her eyes are captivating in the first photo.

I get a flashback of her crying with her red puffy eyes. But she looks happy now.

“Me too baby. Me too.” I let out.

I then scroll to another photo and what I see stabs me in the heart.

It’s a photo of a tall dark haired guy, standing next to my Y/N. They’re both smiling happily in front of the Disneyland castle.

I instantly felt the pain.

She was happy with someone else and it’s all my fault.

It was Jacob, one of the other guys from the Hype House.

Y/N didn’t even know this guy but I guess she does now. She was all alone after I left, but I’m sure that’s how she got to know Jacob. Knowing that they live together is worse.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned off my phone and threw it across the room.

I started crying into my lap.

I had lost the girl of my dreams. All because I let the negativity get into my head.

We could’ve waited a month. She told me she’d always wait for me. I thought I was doing her a favor, us a favor.

But I know she would’ve been sad and missing me once I was in Paris, if I hadn’t broken up with her. I couldn’t put her through that pain again. We had already been distant with the countless fashion weeks we attended. Paris was just the cherry on the top.

But now look at what I've done.

As I finally look at her page, for the first time since we’ve broken up I see this.

I’m not even mad at her. She deserves to be happy. I’m just angry at myself, knowing that, that would’ve never happened if I would’ve just stayed with her. If I would’ve just made it work. We both would’ve worked long distance. She knew it and now I know it. But it’s too late now.

I stand up from the ground, grab my phone and lay in bed.

I open up Tiktok and go onto Jacob’s page. I know it’s going to hurt, but I need to know more about him. I need to see what Y/N sees in him.

I go onto his page and click on a random video.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV33M2J/

Great, of course the first video I see of him is a thirst trap. Showing off his six-pack that is seeping through his shirt and his foolish little smile at the end.

I scroll onto another one of his tiktok’s.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3psAE/

Oh, wonderful, now I actually get to see him shirtless. Just great.

Is this who Y/N is with now? I wonder if they’re an item?

God, I hope not.

I quickly went from annoyed and angry to hurt again.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3v9ka/

This tiktok, knowing that Y/N was with him. Making it worse, is that they were at Disneyland.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3XNSb/

Okay, now this one hurts.

I remember when Y/N, Thomas, Mia, and I were the ones who would go out. Now it’s them, with Jacob, not me.

I felt a sense of betrayal from Thomas and Mia, they were my friends too and they know how I feel about Y/N.

Thomas knew that one day I would marry Y/N, he knew that. How could he be out and about with Y/N and some other guy.

I watched the tiktok again, realizing that they had their Corvettes. Knowing damn well that each car fits two people.

Y/N and Jacob must’ve been riding together and I hated knowing that.

It tore me apart thinking of Y/N in a fast car, with another guy.

It used to be me, driving around with her. In my car. No one else’s. Car rides are always intimate.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRgya8PJ/

Okay, I’ve gotten to the tiktoks that they’ve made together.

It broke my heart. Seeing them, seeing her, happy.

Not that I didn’t want her to be happy, but because it was with him and not with me.

But I’m to blame, which angers me more.

But their matching outfits and the way they danced so happily, with smiles on their faces.

It seems like he makes her happy. He seems happy too.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRgyVJCc/

They’ve all hurt me. But this tiktok in particular hurt me the most.

The way Thomas was instigating behind the camera. Y/N and Jacob sitting next to each other at the movie theater.

Both Y/N and Jacob being shy to the idea of the middle compartment between their seats being able to move up, allowing an open space between them.

Jacob’s voice low and surprised at the realization. “Woah” he says and glances at Y/N as he lifts up the compartment.  

“Dude, it's your chance.” Thomas insists.

Y/N blushing and looking away at the comment.

Maybe I’m looking too much into it. But it’s evident that there’s something between them.

But, the way Y/N giggles and blushes as she looks at Jacob, it brings tears to my eyes. I sniff as I rewatch the video.

I shut my phone off not being able to put myself through watching more of their tiktoks.

I shut my eyes, I feel the pain of my reddened eyes as they close. I grab a pillow and stuff it onto my face.

I grunt out and throw the pillow across my bed, landing on the floor.

I go to grab it, only to let out the whimpers and cries I’ve been holding in.

I lay on the pillow and let it all out, once again.

I just want all of this pain to go away.

My loud cries were heard all around my room.

After what felt like hours of crying in bed, I grabbed my phone, opened up iMessages and opened up her contact.

I reluctantly started typing a text.

‘Hey.”

But then quickly deleted it, before I started typing again.

“I’m finally back in LA”

No. I shake my head before deleting it again.

“hey, it’s been a while.”

“do you wanna maybe meet up?”

I let out a grunt before shutting off my phone. I didn’t have the guts to even send her those messages. I guess it’s better if I don’t, she’s happy without me. I don’t want to the reason to ruin that for her. I’ve done enough harm.

But little did Vinnie know that with a slip of his finger, he sent it. Unknowingly.

Y/N’s POV:

I had just gotten home after having brunch with Jacob.

I was slurping into a boba drink, sitting on an oversized bean bag chair in the living room, when my phone went off two times.

“Hmm,” I hummed to myself as I grabbed my phone.

My heart instantly fell as I saw Vinnie’s contact appear on my lockscreen with the messages reading:

“hey, it’s been a while.”

“do you wanna maybe meet up?”

Vinnie’s contact still had a red heart beside it from when we were together.

I didn’t even realize my eyes were watery until my reflection appeared on the black screen my phone showcased once the lock screen turned off.

I wiped my tears away.

Yeah, I’ve been feeling happy and having a fun time. But Vinnie was always in my heart. The pain never went away, it was always there. It wasn’t as grave anymore, but it remained punctured in my heart.

My breath shuddered, I didn’t even know what to do.

He wanted to meet up? I didn’t even know he was back in California. I thought he would still be in Seoul for fashion week.

I got invited to attend but I wanted to keep myself as far away from Vinnie as possible. I wouldn’t be able to adverse myself into work knowing that at any given moment I would bump into Vinnie or catch a glimpse of him. I couldn’t possibly bear to see him.

I declined their offer.

It’s been a month. I’m sure he’s done with Ami Paris.

So he’s back.

My heart swelled at the fact. My heart tingled, my stomach filled with butterflies. 

But the tears streamed down my face knowing we’re not together. He broke me in half, and hurt me like no other. But, I was happy knowing he’s back. Vinnie will always hold a special place in my heart.

I missed him. More than anything. I sniffled, letting my head fall down. I wiped my tears away not wanting anyone to see.

Jacob, Mia, or Thomas could walk past any second and I wouldn’t know how to explain the tears or my sudden sadness.

I stand up from the bean bag chair and head up the stairs to my room.

As I make it to my room, I lock it behind me and sit at the edge of my bed. Staring profusely at the message.

I read them over, countless times. I don’t even know what to do or what to reply. I do want to reply, but how?

He broke my heart, left me. It would be pathetic of me to run back to him once he’s now available.

But I love him.

The tears now willingly and slowly streamed down my cheeks.

Oh, Vinnie.

My fingers grazed over the keyboard that was shown through the screen.

Mindlessly they started typing.

Hey.

I don’t send it yet, thinking of how I would even respond to his second text.

I thought about meeting up with him. Seeing his beautiful light brown eyes. His magnificent hair, his delightful smile.

His enticing lips.

God, but why did he have to break up with me?

This past month, all I’ve been doing is question his poor actions that not only affected him, but me.

How could he be so careless? To my feelings, to my emotions. I loved him. I still love him. But he ruined that.

Why did he give up on us?

I sniffle at the thought.

Sure, why not.

I type and send both messages.

What else do I have to lose?

I turned off my phone once both messages appeared as blue bubbles.

My heart is racing and my hands are sweaty.

I threw my phone onto the mattress and sat there in thought.

My thoughts were interrupted shortly after by my phone going off.

My eyes widened. That quick?

I quickly grab my phone and see Vinnie’s contact on my lockscreen.

The message reading:

Here’s my address

I’m free the rest of the day

I respond:

be there in an hour.

Okay, now I’m nervous.

I could always cancel?

Seeing him again is going to be overwhelming. I could already feel it.

But if I text him, telling him I’m not going to go anymore. I’d regret it.

The only option left now is meeting up with him.

I let out a sigh and stood up from my bed.

Looking into the mirror, I retouch my smeared makeup and choose a different outfit.

I’m going to see Vinnie again after everything that went down. I have to dress for the occasion.

I look through my closet. All I know is that I have to choose an outfit that hugs all the right parts of my body. Screaming and showing him what he decided to leave; unattended and unclaimed.

I wore a white, skin tight cropped tank top that cut low into my breasts. Lace filled the rims of the tank top. Paired with light washed blue denim pants that hugged every angle perfectly.

I smiled at myself at my reflection through the mirror.

I grabbed my car keys off my desk, walked out my room, down the stairs and out to my car.

I didn’t want anyone to question where I was going so I left without notice.

I drove down the hill, plugged in the address to my phone leading the way to Vinnie’s new home.

It was thirty minutes away.

Vinnie’s POV:

I’m FREAKING out.

I am in no way shape or form prepared to see Y/N.

How in the world could I be such a dumbass? How did those messages even manage to be sent?

But what’s done is done.

Y/N said she was going to be here in an hour. That was 40 minutes ago.

I'm fresh out of the shower. I’ve sprayed on cologne but I might’ve put too much on, so now I’m a nervous wreck. I don’t want to smell like I’ve dumped the whole bottle on myself.

I feel like pulling my hair out.

I took a couple deep breaths before sitting down on the couch.

I’m wearing a white fitted t-shirt with khaki cargo pants. Nothing too crazy.

I fiddle with my rings distracting myself from my crazed thoughts.

What are we even going to talk about? I didn’t intend for this meet up and now I’m stuck with it.

Not that I don’t want to see her because God knows I do, just not under these circumstances.

She’ll be expecting a reason for coming over and I have none.

What have I gotten myself into?

How did those damn messages get sent?

Y/N’s POV:

I’m pulling up to his driveway and I park by his entrance.

So this is his new home?

It’s on a private road, nothing extreme like the Hype House but secluded.

I sigh before exiting my car. I nervously walk to the front door.

Should I have texted him that I’m here? Maybe knocking at the door or ringing the doorbell is overstepping a boundary.

But, I’m already at the door, there’s no point in going back.

I knock and immediately put my hand back down.

I feel like I just ran a marathon because I suddenly feel warm and my heart’s beating a hundred beats per second.

It feels like an eternity before the door opens, revealing a Vincent Cole Hacker. Right in front of me, in the flesh.

I feel my heart instantly break again as my eyes meet with his honey ones. Just seeing him hurts. I don’t know if I should turn around and leave, crying in my car seems like a perfect idea right now.

We both stand awkwardly at the door. Neither he nor I initiates a conversation or a gesture.

I break eye contact and my eyes are roaming anywhere but his. I instantly feel small and regret coming in the first place.

I could feel Vinnie’s eyes no longer on mine, but on my body. His eyes were trailing my body, I felt them like lasers against my now vulnerable skin.

I get the courage to look back into his eyes and he meets with mine again.

He clears his throat and speaks up.

“Y/N, hey. Uh- come in.” He says deeply. I could tell he was nervous.

I sent him a forced smile and walked in.

As I set foot into his house he closed the door behind us.

My eyes roam the new surroundings. It’s nice and spacious here.

As I’m taking it all in he invites me to the kitchen.

I follow behind him as he leads me to a seat in his kitchen island.

“Want a water?” He asks me delicately. Almost as if he spoke too loud we’d both wake up from this dream or somehow ruin this bizarre moment.

I hum a response along with a nod.

He smiles a small smile, before turning away from me, to grab a bottle from the refrigerator. His back facing me.

His small smile brings heat into my cheeks for a small moment, my tummy fills with a few butterflies.

I hate how with just the smallest smile, he can send my body into abyss.

He turns back around and hands me the bottle.

I open it because suddenly I’m thirsty.

I gulp down a couple sips. His eyes darted to the bottle against my lips, to my jawline, down to my neck and chest.

I place the bottle down on the counter once I’m done, his eyes never leaving me.

I clear my throat quietly to gain his attention back.

His eyes widened as he realized I caught him checking me out. His cheeks turn deep red.

Vinnie’s mouth opens to apologize or throw me a lame excuse to hide the fact that he was looking at the most sacred parts of my body.

“I know it must be hard,” I let out, our eyes meeting once again.

“Yeah…” He trails out, his hand meeting the back of his head, scratching his curls nervously. “Sorry about that.”

I don’t utter a response back

He’s standing awkwardly inbetween the fridge and the kitchen island.

“You know you can sit, right? It’s your house.” I say, a small smile forming on my face.

A chuckle leaving my lips, he seems to lighten up a bit.

“Right,” He says cutely, as he takes a seat adjacent to me. Gosh, I forgot how darn adorable he was when he was nervous.

I smile, a tint of pink on my face.

“So, how’s everything?” He says once he got comfortable in his seat.

The air in the room feels a tad bit more relaxed and less awkward now.

I take a couple seconds to respond to his question.

“It’s been good,” I say with a trail in my voice, almost like I’m convincing myself it’s been good.

“Yeah?” He questions with a furrow in his brow. His voice soft and caring.

“I mean what else could I say?” I respond with a shrug, breaking eye contact as I look anywhere but him. I felt my throat clenching and tightening, along with my sudden pained heart.

He let out a sigh. “Yeah.” He says like he understands what I mean. I look back over to him.

He’s looking down at the counter and I let out a silent sigh myself.

“What about you? How was Ami Paris?” I ask, slightly changing the forsaken conversation, genuinely interested in the new topic.

I would’ve expected him to look back up but instead he slouches even more, if that was even possible.

I guess the words ‘Ami Paris’ brings back memories. It sure does to me. I know it does for him.

After a couple of quiet moments he looks back up and the way his saddened eyes bore into mine, it almost brings me to tears. But I hold them back.

“It’s over, finally.” He whispers the last part to himself, but I hear it plain as day.

“Great opportunity, though. I’m sure,” I say, trying to lighten up the mood.

He looks up with a nod.

“Yeah,” He says with pressed lips. He’s holding back his words, I know he is.

He clears his throat.

“So how long have you been back?” I questioned.

His eyes met mine, right as my voice met his ears.

“I got back late last night. Today’s my first official day back,” He informs.

I nod my head, listening to his sweet voice and the words that slip through his lips.

“I just had to leave Seoul,” He huffed, almost sounding distressed. His hand met with the roots of his hair, slipping through.

“It ended already, if I’m correct?” I questioned, referring to the fashion show.

He hums, nodding his head.

“Yeah. I was invited to a couple after party events. But, I just needed to come back home, though,” He sighed softly.

I nodded.

I could tell it was a sour subject for him and I didn’t want to press him.

The kitchen became heavy, again.

It was quiet. Not a comfortable silence, but an awkward one.

Both of his arms were holding his head. He was facing down into the marbled island.

My eyes met him. His broad shoulders and biceps were in plain sight. The tattoos on his arms, exposed, bringing back memories. Memories in which my fingers have traced those same tattoos thousands of times. Tattoos that were practically mine at the time. I still feel a deep connection to them.

I didn’t even realize the sigh that escaped my lips.

The sigh that slipped through my lips made him look up at me.

He sent me a sympathetic smile. Almost as if he knew exactly how I felt.

“It’s been a while, right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I only nod.

His jaw was clenched and he rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

If it wasn’t for the wall that barricaded my emotions and heart, I would’ve straddled him then and there. Kissing him endlessly. The sight of his tight jaw, in a perfect angle, made me feel indescribable feelings.

But the Y/N that would do that is gone. The Y/N that was Vinnie’s girl is no longer in existence. I’m no longer his girlfriend. It’s not my place to kiss him, even though I’m dying to.

At the same time though, it hurts me. The thoughts of kissing him and straddling him right here in his kitchen sends my heart into ache.

Vinnie hurt me. I loved him, with my life and he took that for granted. I wasn’t going to fall at his feet just because I love him.

His choice to leave me has consequences.

He locked his eyes with mine. I stared back at him, not saying a word.

At this point, I just wanted to go back home and fall under my blankets.

What was the point of being here if we were going to sit in awkward silence?

Right as I was going to leave this awkward situation he spoke up.

“I’m really sorry,” He croaked out, voice cracking.

He looked at me, waiting for a response, a reaction.

All he got from me was a deadpan stare.

His eyes pleaded for a response, my heart crinkled.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Vinnie,” I respond, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it did. But it did.

“I-II know,” He quickly retorted. “A-and you don't have to. I screwed up. Big time. I’m such an idiot. A big fucking idiot. And you don’t deserve this. I’m lucky enough that you came and that you’re sitting here, listening to my damn excuses.” He rambled on, as I sat listening.

Still with a neutral face, but on the inside I’m confused as to how to feel.

I already knew the second he broke things off that he was making a mistake and I was going to rub it in. I had to be a bit selfish and he couldn’t be upset about it.

“But yet you still decided to go on with the breakup. How is your smart decision going now?” I let out.

I was being harsh, I know. But he broke me into a million pieces and I had to put them all back together. And I’m barely starting to get back on with my life but he had to barge back in.

“You were right,” He whispered, breaking our eye contact. Coward.

“Yeah, well, it’s too late for that now,” I stated, softly but definitively.

I pushed the chair back and as I was about to stand up to leave, he interrupted speaking pleadingly, begging.

“Please, Y/N!” He stood up, out of his seat. My eyes met his figure.

His eyes were glossy, his cheeks and ears a pomegranate red.

My heart was met with a pang. All I wanted to do was run away. Being here was too much, it’s overwhelming.

“I think meeting up was too soon. The breakup is still fresh and clearly we’re both not over it. I know you’re hurting Vinnie but remember this was your idea. I was there too, right where you are now. It’ll get better though. Trust me, you just have to have the right people supporting and surrounding you,” I say, just wanting to get the hell out of there.  

I didn’t even look back at him as I walked away, to see how my words affected him. I just wanted to leave this whole thing.

As I was bare inches away from exiting the kitchen, the same way I entered, Vinnie caught my attention again.

I stopped midway as the words met my ears.

“What, like how you have Jacob?” His words were filled with anger. The first harsh words he’s sent me today.

I scoffed as I turned back to face him.

He was still standing in the spot where he was on the verge of tears. That Vinnie is gone.

The Vinnie I was facing now, was fuming.

“As a matter of fact, yes Vinnie! Jacob would be a prime example,” I screamed out.

He just stood there, death glaring. He stood there silently, the steam fuming out of his ears was almost evident.  

All I could do was roll my eyes and start walking away again. My back facing him.

I was over it already.

Of course, as I was about to exit Vinnie shot me another comment.

“Yeah, go run back to Jacob!” He rudely yelled out.

I turned around quickly.

“At least I have someone to run to!” I screamed out.

He let out a loud grunt, not expecting my response. His fists met with the marbled stone. He let out a hefty yell, after punching the kitchen island.

I saw the red bruised knuckles he carried around, they were fresh but not seconds fresh.

“Go punch some more walls, or whatever you’ve been up to,” I angrily blurt out.

I let out an upsetting huff and turned to walk away this time.

I was already walking out the living room, when I heard him quickly trying to catch up to me.

“Just leave me alone, Vinnie. This was a mistake. Coming here was a mistake. I thought meeting up might somehow make things better, but I was clearly wrong.” I say, meeting with his soft brown eyes again.

“No, Y/N, I’m sorry. “ He tried apologizing.

“No, don’t fucking apologize! I’m tired of your apologies and dumbass excuses. Just admit it, you were a little bitch. A fucking coward, couldn’t even be a man and work for our love. I gave you my all and you couldn’t even wait. What four weeks? Me and you could’ve been having the time of our lives right now in Seoul. God, I’m glad we broke up. This just showed me that I don’t want someone like you in my life. Why would I want a boyfriend who can’t even love me enough to fight for us. It was great, what we had Vinnie, but it’s over.” I expressed turning around.  Goodbye Vin-” I was saying mid-turn trying to walk towards the front door, until I was stopped from continuing.

Vinnie had grabbed ahold of my hand, pulled me towards him and pressed his lips onto mine. It all happened so fast, I didn’t capture what just occurred until my lips were on his.

He had smashed his lips onto mine, it was full of fierce and passionate energy. I was taken aback. I stood still, my lips were motionless against his. I was in shock but the arm he had tightly wrapped around my exposed back and the hand that was softly yet firmly set on my cheek brought me back to life.

My lips fought back against his, ferociously. Our lips were at battle, our breathing was trying to catch up to us.

My arms quickly wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to me, despite my feet tippy toeing to reach his tall figure.

He lifted me off the floor and I wrapped my legs around his waist. The palm of his hands were pressed against my ass. I could feel his long fingers pressed against my skin through my denim.

As our swollen lips were reuniting, he gestured my ass against his firm waist causing me to let out a whimper.

The sudden friction against my core caused warmness to travel all across my body.

Vinnie’s eyes shot open due to the breathy moan I let out, disconnecting our kiss, I could feel his eyes on my visage.

My eyes were screwed shut and layed my face on his shoulder. I bucked my hips into his waist in hopes of feeling that same tingly feeling he caused me. I did it again but the sensation did not meet the one that Vinnie caused.

I let out a deep breath in defeat. But my heart accelerated when I felt Vinnie’s hand rocking me into him. I let out a sigh as my heat pressed against his toned skin that could be felt through his tight shirt. His hands gripped my ass and at the angle that he had me in and with every rock towards him, my clit was being pressed into the denim of my jeans and the roughness of his skin.

I let out whimpers and I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead.

Third Person POV:

Vinnie was forming hard on, caused by his doing. Y/N was penetrating herself against him and he was helping her.

His eyes met her. She had her head rested on his shoulder and her legs wrapped around his body.

Vinnie lowered his face and pressed his lips on her soft skin. Her breasts look divine in the small tank top she wore. Vinnie came into contact with the lace that accentuated her boobs.

Y/N could feel Vinnie’s lips pressed against her exposed boobs.

She couldn’t believe what was happening but the ever-amazing feeling that she was feeling on her clit with every swift moment, caused her not to care.

All the tension she’s had for the past month was being soothed against her pants.

Vinnie’s thumb swept against her nipple and Y/N felt a ray of lightning hit her core.

Vinnie could feel her nipple hardening at his touch. He proceeded to do the same with the other nub.

As he toyed with Y/N’s breasts he lowered her down onto his hard dick and with the impact of both of their cores meeting they both let out groans.

Y/N’s POV:

As I felt Vinnie’s hard dick against my vagina’s lips, an even more explicit feeling coursed through my veins. I wanted and needed more of him.

“Vinnie,” I let out softly as I continued to rock myself against his bricked dick.

“We’ll talk about it later.” He whispered in response.

And with that I was content with what was happening.

I nodded and pressed my lips against his cheek.

I looked behind Vinnie and saw the stairs that I presume leads to his room.

And for the first time since our sexual encounter our eyes met. It felt like we were in a trance.

I lifted my head towards the stairs, non-verbally telling him to take us to his room.

He smiled and turned his body towards the stairs. Not letting go of me as he walked up them.

His hands stayed on my ass, pressed firmly on it as I started sucking on the soft skin of his neck.  

I aimed for his soft spot that I’ve grown to memorize for moments like these.

“Oh fuck.” Vinnie slipped out.

I smiled as I heard his little moan knowing I was the one causing his pleasure.  

We finally made it to a large room, instantly recognizing the familiar bed frame.

Vinnie dropped me onto the comfy mattress, I layed there sprawled on his bed as he eyes me from above.

Our eyes interlocked as I heavily breathed on his bed, feeling the look in his eye.

None of us make a sound, only admiring one another.

He sank down towards me, his hand on either side of my body. He gently grabbed ahold of me, lifting me up as he laid on the bed. Placing me on top of him.

It was a gentle and sweet gesture but as our eyes met I knew he was ready to commence.

I was straddling his laid body. Both of our heats aligned to one another.

His hands are on both sides of my hips, ready to start rocking me against his hard member. I placed my hands on his lower abdomen, steadying myself.

We both gave each other little nods before we continued.

I rocked forward in sync with Vinnie’s arms pulling me towards him, against his hard dick.

As I met his hardness, I felt myself dampen further into my panties.

I closed my eyes right before rolling them. I’ve definitely missed my clit on the verge of climaxing. And not just one driven by me, but one with the help of a male. Apparently that male was destined to be with Vinnie, again.

I fluttered my eyes open to the sound of Vinnie’s grunt.

His face is tight and his brows are furrowed. He’s beautiful.

Vinnie fastened our rocking and I could feel the bundle of nerves that consists of my clit feeling immense pleasure with each second that was met with the bulge in his pants. With this rhythm I’d be cumming in no time.

“Vinnie. I’m going to cum soon,” I whispered, before closing my eyes forcing myself deeper into the curve in his pants.

“Oh fuck, me too.” He let out a gasp, feeling me forcing myself lower onto his hard on.  

“I need to take my fucking jeans off,” I desperately say.

I lift myself up slightly from Vinnie's lap, unbuttoning my jeans and tearing them apart.

As soon as I was left in my panties, Vinnie stripped from his pants.

I ripped my tank off and Vinnie was on the verge of taking his t-shirt off.

“Can’t even wait for me?” Vinnie smirked as I continued dry humping him.

His shirt was way over his head when his hands gripped my lower waist.

He readjusted himself up and cupped one of my breasts through the padding of my bra.

He gave it a rough squeeze. “I love your boobs!”

I smirked and his eyes trailed to my other breast.

“Well, why have them covered?” I beam as I smirk, unclasping my bra, exposing my breasts.

I lean forward towards his face and he happily gapes his mouth open, taking one of my breasts into his mouth.

His tongue swirls around my nipple and my hips involuntarily shake due to the sudden pleasure that rushes to my clit.  

My breath hitches as Vinnie sucks my nipple causing me to grab ahold of his torso.

He bucks his hips up causing the bundle of nerves in between my legs to meet with his hard dick. I let out a loud vocal moan.

I seep my underwear to the side, exposing my bare clit, allowing it to meet the clothed rockness of Vinnie’s dick.

I continue moving forward, in a quicker state, my bare clit meeting Vinnie hardness.

“Oh, oh, fuck.” I loudly moan out. My heart is accelerating and as I pant out for air.

I could feel my nipples hardening to the new amount of pleasure seeping through me.

“God, Vinnie. This feels too good. Please keep going,” I plead.

Vinnie pinches the unattended nipple and twists it, tightening it in between his thumb and index finger. His mouth filled with my other tit.

His free hand met with my bare skin in between my legs.

“You’re so wet,” He groans.

His middle finger and index finger start to massage my clit.

“O-oh, Vinnie.” I instantly cried out, feeling spinny.

I shut my eyes as his fingers swirled in slow and steady circular motions, hitting that one particular sensitive spot each time.

I shuddered, my toes curling. As much as Vinnie’s fingers brought me to glory I ached for his dick inside of me. But, Vinnie’s fingers just made me want to come undone.

I’m a shaking mess and he roughly fastens the swift movements against my clit. My eyes met his determined face.

His brows knitted together as he held in his breath. My eyes trailed to his arm that met the lips in between my legs.

“Vinnie, please.” I begged as my fingers grazed into his briefs.

He was making me a mess. God, how could I have forgotten how good he was at sex and at making me feel so fucking good.

I looked up and met his honey colored eyes as I was on the verge of cumming right into his pretty hands.

He had a proud smile and I just let out a small laugh, playfully rolling my eyes.

Vinnie's hands left my core and I pouted.

He looked up at me and let out a laugh.

“Don’t worry I’ll have you cumming in no time. I know you were so close and you’re probably upset at me for stopping. But I promise it’ll be worth it.” He smiled, leaning up to me.

His mouth nearing my ear, whispering. “I’ll be slamming into you so right that you won’t be able to stop yourself from cumming. I want to see you shaking out of control, grabbing hold of me because it’s too much for you to handle. It’s going to be so fucking overwhelming but you’ll be begging me to not stop. I promise.”

His voice sent tingles and shivers down my neck, covering my whole body.

A small whimper escaped my lips as I nodded.

I wanted to be fucked by Vinnie, so hard that I won’t even remember where I am. The only thing I’d feel is my body combusting and coming undone.

I lifted my body up allowing myself to slip his underwear off.

Vinnie managed to kick them off. Both of us are now naked on his bed.

So, this is really happening?

Vinnie’s dick springing up after being released from his underwear. The sight of his cock caused my brain to shut down.

Without a thought, my hand slightly inched towards his member. For a second, I held back. My heartbroken state came back for a second but as quickly as it came it went away.

My hands gently met his precious penis. Such a pretty figure.

I swear if it wasn’t for Vinnie being an ass my lips and mouth would’ve been obliterating his dick right now.

But for now my hands will have to do.

The tip of my finger met the head, precum lubricating it.

A sigh was heard, almost sounding like a wince escaping Vinnie's lips.

I gently grazed my hand down his member. Not exactly giving him a handjob. More of showing my infatuation for it.

I bent down slowly, placing my lips on the sensitive tip of his penis.

Vinnie was muttering silent profanities, I could tell he was trying his hardest not to buck his hips up. He wanted my lips wrapped around his member, badly.

But, if anyone was going to pleasure someone, it was going to be him pleasuring me.

I slightly gripped his dick and pressed it against the bundle of nerves aching for him.

I maneuvered the head of his penis up and down my lips, meeting my clit every time his head went up my lips.

I shivered and croaked out a moan due to the touch of his dick.

Vinnie hissed at the grip my hand has on his penis.

His hands roamed up my bare stomach. His touch against my skin sent shivers up and down my body.

I kept steady movements and started rocking my hips to insync with the touch of Vinnie’s dick hitting against my clit.

Stars appeared in my head with each hard impact that met on my clit.

I gaped out for air. My hips abruptly lifted away from his member due to the immense amount of pleasure coursing through my body. Vinnie quickly set his hands firmly on my hips, keeping me set on top of him. Knowing damn well that I was close to cumming soon.

I lifted myself up and aligned Vinnie’s dick to my entrance and slowly lowered myself onto him.

Our breaths hitched. My eyes fluttered closed, I placed my hands on his lower abs for support.

I could feel the hardness of his penis seeping through me. The head of his dick was completely in me, I could feel my walls clenching around Vinnie, causing him to let out a pleased moan.

I continued lowering myself, the feeling of fulfillment seeping through my blood.

I let out small whimpers as I adjusted to his full length.

He was balls deep in when he let out a grunt. My pussy was clenching his hard cock. It felt amazing. So full and great in me.  

“You’re so fucking tight…” He grumbled out, head leaning back into his pillow, eyes completely shut as he composed himself.

As he laid back, I lowered my face to place small kisses on his abs.

As I placed kisses on him, he started playing with my hair.

I looked up at him from his stomach and he gave me a little nod.

I sat back up and lifted myself up and quickly lowered myself down, our skin slapping against each other.

I could feel every single detail and texture of him inside of me. Each vein prominently intensifies the urge to break loose with him in me.

I lifted myself back up again and started quickening my pace.

Jamming him into me with each time I slapped my body down.

“Mhmm, fuck.” I whimpered out.

My ass hits against his thighs, creating slapping noises that echoed throughout the whole room.

Vinnie’s grunts and my whimpers that were growing louder by the second, it  could fill the whole house.

From down below, Vinnie has a perfect view of my boobs swinging up and down my body. His hands gripping them.

I leaned towards him, giving my lower body a better angle to slam down into his dick.

“Yeah, fuck, like that.” Vinnie deeply expressed.

His hands now trailing down my back, meeting at my ass, gripping it. He motioned my thrusts into him and he bucked his hips up deeping his dick inside of me.

I moaned loudly as his dick hit my g-spot.

I looked up to meet Vinnie’s eyes and as our eyes met as he switched our positions.

I was now under him and he laid closely on top of me.

I could feel his breath on my face and our eyes were entranced to one another.

My heart fluttered from the sudden contact, I looked down at his lips and he suddenly bent down to kiss me.

I didn’t retract from the kiss. I did the total opposite. My soft lips rekindled with his. His plump lips meet my deep red swollen ones. .

We were deep into our kiss, when suddenly I felt him stroke fiercely into me and I let out a loud moan.

My lips still against him, as I yelled out.

My hands wrapped around his neck, as my breath got knocked out of my lungs.

I spread my legs open to allow him to thrust into me.

With my legs wide open for him, he commenced his deep hard-driven thrusts into me.

He slammed into me with no regard or remorse.

I looked up at him and he was deeply concentrated and focused on his fierce thrusts.

His dick was sliding in and out of me with so much force that I couldn’t handle it. But, it felt amazing. I wouldn’t dare stop him.

My moans were no longer whimpers, they were full of lengthy loud ones.

He kept on slamming into me. His full dick meeting my insides with each deep thrust.

“Oh fuck, Vinnie. Please don’t stop,” I moaned out. Praising him for making me feel whole again.

He was hitting my g-spot with each forceful thrust.

“”Who fucks you this good, huh?’ He asks, grunting.

“You, Vinnie. Only you,” I let out, my mind delirious.

I was panting for air, goosebumps filled my body.

I could feel my legs shaking as I gripped the sheets from beneath me.

“Yeah?” He asks with a lifted brow. “Not even Jacob?”

The name ‘Jacob’ really sparked something in him because his hand gripped against my thighs, spreading my legs even further.

I lifted my legs up in the air, Vinnie in between them.

Thrusting into me like it was going to be the last thing he did.

With each push into me, he let out a grunt.

Almost as if he was trying to prove a point or keep in the moans I knew he had in him.

“Fuck no. I’ve nev-” I was saying until Vinnie ferociously slammed into me, the words no longer being able to come out of my mouth.

He kept on going faster after I confessed that Jacob and I never had a sexual encounter and I swear I was going to cum.

“Ahhh!” I yelled out. “Fuck, I’m so close.” I breathed out.

“Please Vinnie, please!” I moaned out, begging him to make me cum.

“Hold on!” He challenged, his hands gripping on my breasts, putting his whole weight on them.

He pushed harder into me, my breasts would definitely be forming bruises in a couple hours, but it was no problem to me.

He rode out his high. I could feel him twitching inside of me. Insinuating he was close to coming undone.

“You’re mine, Y/N. No one else’s.” Vinnie possessively says.

I nodded as I was close to my high, as well.

My legs were insanely shaking and I tightened myself, gripping Vinnie’s dick. Causing him to finally let out an exasperated moan.

I smirked and as Vinnie was on his last strokes, I quickly slid my fingers onto my clit and came undone with Vinnie.

He fell on top of me, laying on me. His dick still inside of me.

I look beside me to find Vinnie’s face laid on the crook of my neck. He was breathing heavily against my skin, causing me to giggle.

“You’re tickling me Vin,” I say in between giggles, with a huge smile on my face.

He turns his face, his eyes meeting mine and no longer deep into my neck. He sees me smiling and a wide grin appears on his face.

He then turns back and quickly kisses me all over my neck, causing me to laugh out loud.

“Vinnie, stop!” I say slightly, shoving his face away from my neck.

He lets out a cute laugh and lays back down, his face on my chest.

My hand tangles into his soft sweaty hair.

I press my lips against his face.

Vinnie closed his eyes due to my kiss. I swooned at the sight of his eyelashes.

He let out a sigh. “I never want this to end,”

“I don’t want it to either.” I softly say.

I gently grabbed Vinnie’s face and pressed my lips against his.

I could tell he was a bit surprised to my sudden affection but fuck it. I know Vinnie is the love of my life.

I pulled away from his heartwarming lips.

“Never hurt me again Vinnie,” I say seriously, looking into his eyes.

He looked like a kid on Christmas morning. He lifted himself up, leveling his face to mine.

“Never ever again! I promise you that. I’ll never make that foolish mistake ever again!” He exclaimed happily.

“Good! Now fucking kiss me again,” I say letting out a huge smile.

He lowered himself down to my lips mumbling. “Gladly!”

I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our chests were pressed to one another.

“I’ll never leave you again, baby.” He whispered, looking deep into my eyes.

I nodded.

His sweet lips met mine and I fluttered my eyes closed taking in the moment.

Vinnie pulled away from our kiss.

“Stay the night with me. Tomorrow you can go and tell everyone you’re mine again. Especially Jacob!” He proposed.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?” I smile, a blush forming on my cheeks. I knew he was jealous but my heart belonged to him.

“A tad bit.” He shrugged jokingly with a grin.

“I’m all yours and you’re all mine.” I say pulling his face back into mine.

Our lips smash into each other, sweetly.

“I'll toast to that!” He mumbles.

We continued conversing sweet nothings.

“I may or may not have broken down to my mom on facetime,” Vinnie confessed.

“Well I’m glad you did. I hope Maria kicked your ass!” I exclaimed.

He chuckled.

“Yeah, she did.” He paused. “So did my dad and Reggie,” He continued, causing me to giggle. He joined in my laughter.

“I love you,” I profess quietly, only for us to hear.

He sighed.

“Yeah, me too.” He smiled sweetly.

“I’m really sorry Y/N. I know I already half assed an apology but let me explain my awful train of thought. I thought that by ending things, you won't have to hurt and be in pain while I was gone. I knew you were always sad when we couldn’t be together because of work. I would see the light leave your eyes, I would see your red puffy eyes, knowing that that pain was because of me. We had already suffered enough before I broke things off. I thought that maybe if we broke up and I wasn’t in the picture anymore you wouldn't have to be so sad all the time. I thought that if we were apart, you’d be able to be happy without the thought of me in a whole ass other country. I’m so sorry. I just made everything worse. I was so fucking wrong.” He expressed.

I could see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t cry,” I spoke quietly. I swiped the tears in his eyes before they rolled down his cheeks.

He laid his face down into my chest.

“And the way I left you crying the night before I left for Paris. I was such a dick. But I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. If I just looked into your teary eyes or heard you cry for another second that night I would’ve stayed. But I used my power and dignity to leave, thinking I was going to help you.” He confessed.

It was eye opening hearing his side of things.

“I wish you could’ve just talked to me, Vin. We could’ve settled on a plan. I could’ve visited you in Paris for a couple weeks and we could’ve met up in Seoul,” I sighed sadly. “We could’ve prevented all of this emotional damage.”

“I know. I was such a fucking idiot.” He said looking back up to me, while I played with his hair.

“Promise you won’t do anything like that again! If you’re feeling anxious or upset we can talk. We can always talk, love,” I reassured.

“I promise.” He nodded.

“Okay good. I trust you.”

“I’ll never do anything to make you doubt me again.” He reassured, pressing kisses on my chest. “A positive thing that came out of this is that I know what life is like without you-”

“How the hell is that a positive thing Vincent Cole Hacker?!” I exclaim, interrupting what he was saying.

He let out a laugh.

“Let me finish, woman!”

“Is it those Paris girl you fucked?!” I say, raising my eyebrows. Not letting him continue.

“Oh god, no!” He said in disgust. “Don’t even remind me. I thought getting with them would help me get you out of my head. But when they would leave I would feel sick to my stomach. None of them were you, baby!” He explained.

I just gave him a petty look as I crossed my arms.

“No, don’t cross your arms, now I can’t see your precious boobs,” He pouts, trying to pull my arms apart.

“No. I don’t think you deserve to see them right now!” I sassily say.

He gave me a grimace look.

“What I was trying to say before you interrupted me is that I will never leave you again. Life is pointless without you. I know how dark and gray life is without you. My heart was failing and aching without you. I had no purpose. But now that I have the chance to be with you again. I won’t fuck up this time. I’ll take that chance in a heartbeat and I won’t ever let you go again. I promise you that,” He softly ends.  

I could feel the warmness on my cheeks and the butterflies in my stomach erupting.

“Okay fine, maybe you deserve to see them now.” I say, uncrossing my arms, an uncontrollable smile appearing in my face.

“Good because I missed them! And I already know what you’re gonna say: ‘you just saw them’. But baby I haven’t seen or felt them for a month. I have a lot of catching up to do!” He proclaimed.

“I like the sound of that!” I say giggling as he cups my breasts.  

My hands traced his Greek god facial features, letting them roam down his arms and chest.

As he peppered kisses all over my skin he spoke up again.

“You know I think fate brought us back together.” Vinnie hummed, looking up at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Really? Why do you think that?” I curiously ask looking down at him.

“So, I drafted those messages you got earlier. I didn’t send them because I was too much of a coward but somehow they got sent. I must’ve sent it without realizing. But God I’m glad they sent,” He professed.

“Well then we’re meant to be.” I smiled.

“Yes, we are!” He mumbled against my skin.

“We should get cleaned up.” He charmingly says as he kisses my chest, swiftly picking me up from the bed.

❁

Ahh! I hope you all enjoyed! This is my first ever writing smut for Tumblr, let me know how I did haha! 

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[saetoru]

[ LOGIC ] ALHAITHAM.

“haitham,” your voice sings, “are you jealous?” you elbow alhaitham’s side, poking his cheek and quirking your brows as an amused grin tugs at your lips. he only grunts, flipping a page of his book without sparing you a glance and pretending that he doesn’t hear you. “i know you heard me,” you pester, “you are jealous, huh?”

“i have nothing to be jealous of,” he says matter of factly, and though you can’t bring yourself to believe him, you have to admire his persistence even if a little.

alhaitham is not jealous—it’s what he tells himself, at least.

jealousy is an irrational concept, especially when two people have mutually agreed they’re exclusive—which you both have done so already. it’s an ugly emotion, it’s unbecoming of the loyalty you’ve pledged and the trust that exists between you both.

therefore, alhaitham is not jealous.

he simply thinks that logically speaking, the general mahamatra has no business standing that close to you when it’s a well known fact you’re in a relationship. based on his observations (which are seldom wrong) making you laugh so easily should be near impossible—cyno’s jokes are about as dry as the desert sand itself. alhaitham thinks it must be a pity laugh. it has to be a pity laugh—cyno is not funny, not in the slightest. and the way your eyes twinkle as you talk to him is not fondness, it’s kindness—because you’re a genuine person, that’s all.

he watches you both talk for one second, then two, and then he realizes he’s frowning. why is he frowning? there’s nothing to be jealous of when cyno is involved, the rational part of alhaitham’s mind knows this.

alhaitham is taller, a lot more muscular, he’s the (acting) grand sage—and though he hates the position, it’s evidently popular amongst the ladies. he’s smarter, and though neither him nor cyno are very social, he likes to think he’s better at analyzing people’s emotional responses and understanding human behavior. and besides that, alhaitham knows your favorite coffee order and where your favorite spot for lunch is. he knows the crinkle of your nose means you have more to say but you’re biting your tongue. he knows you laugh behind your hand because sometimes you get shy about your smile.

he knows more about you than cyno could ever imagine exists. logically speaking, alhaitham understands you far better than cyno, and he should be the optimal choice. there’s not anything to worry about, nothing that should concern him in regards to his (very stable) relationship with you. but then he remembers the way you laughed at something cyno said, the way the general mahamtra looked at you in surprise before letting his gaze soften with a tiny smile.

he grits his jaw and closes his book.

“cyno doesn’t know you as well as i do,” he starts, making you blink before you nod slowly.

“yes, that’s true,” you ponder, “i suppose he doesn’t. you’ve known me for quite some time now—”

“cyno wouldn’t have as much time for you with all his duties. i, on the other hand, leave work as soon as the clock hits five pm.”

“that’s true, you do have a tendency to leave even if they need you to stay—”

“cyno’s position as general mahamatra makes him the target of a lot of angry and dangerous people, which could prove unsafe for you too,” alhaitham continues, cutting you off.

you frown, crinkling your brows in confusion, and you have to wonder—where is he going with all of this?

“well, yeah, sure. but just so you know, i’m not weak. i can take care of myself—”

“i never said you weren’t capable,” he says instantly, “but the optimal choice for who to date would be me—which you made the right choice, of course. congratulations.”

you snort, giving him a side eye that makes him raise a brow.

“you’re hopeless, haitham,” you giggle.

“and why is that? i’ve supplied more than enough evidence why—”

and then you cut him off with a kiss. it’s a gentle kiss, a slow one where you cup his cheeks, rub the soft skin in delicate circles with your thumb, cradle the back of his head and hold him close as you linger and let him steal a taste of you while you steal one of him too.

alhaitham pulls away in a daze, the book in his hand falling to his lap without the page marked before he can even realize it, long forgotten as you press your forehead to his.

“only you would give me evidence why i should choose you,” you say, clearly amused.

“technically, it’s not evidence why you should choose me if you already did,” he retorts.

and he’s right—you have already chosen him, and you can’t say you regret it. sure, alhaitham is hard to read and nearly impossible to predict. just when you think you have him figured out, he surprises you in more ways than one. he’s too smart for his own good, and his impressive (and sometimes irritating) ability to come up with a rebuttal to everything has moments that make you want to peel your own skin off. he’s blunt and sometimes dry and it drives you up a wall that he answers you with that know-it-all attitude of his.

he never lets a single emotion sway his decisions, and you often whine over every minor inconvenience. he reads books in his free time while you look for something to watch on tv. he rarely wants to leave the house, yet you always have somewhere you want to explore or a new place you want to try. logically speaking, it shouldn’t work, but it does—and cyno will not disrupt the routine that is you, the routine that has so naturally knit itself into his life, for even one moment.

especially not with those bland jokes of his that don’t even have a proper punchline.

“just because you have an answer for everything doesn’t mean you need to give it,” you huff, “and i’m right this time. you are jealous.”

“like i said,” he shrugs, “i’m not jealous.”

“oh yeah? so if the general mahamatra requested my help for another investigation, then you wouldn’t—”

“the general mahamatra has made it this far without your help,” alhaitham says dryly, and if you look close enough, you might just make out the beginnings of a pout at the edges of his lips.

you laugh, scratching gently at his scalp as your fingers thread into his hair. “why else are you better for me?” you hum, cupping his cheek and kissing the corner of his mouth.

now that—that’s a question alhaitham will always have endless answers too. he relaxes, closes his eyes and lets you kiss along his jaw slowly as his hands find purchase of your waist.

“we’d be here all day,” he mumbles, “it’s a lengthy answer.”

“i got time,” you wriggle your brows. he chuckles—and when you laugh too, the sound of your voice in perfect harmony with the sound of his, he thinks he’s found yet another reason why.

“cyno doesn’t know you sing in the shower when you think you’re home alone,” he smirks, rubbing your hips up and down as you gape at him.

“what do you mean—”

“and he doesn’t know your favorite orders or the way you like your coffee. overall, the best option for you is me,” he nods, fighting back a chuckle when you roll your eyes.

“you sure put a lot of thought into this,” you mutter.

“of course,” he shrugs, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. and perhaps it is—there’s a sense of rationality he loses when you’re around. instead, a sense of rawness, a sense of something dangerously close to hope. “i spend a lot of time thinking about you,” he adds softly.

your face softens, and your eyes twinkle in a way that they certainly did not when cyno was around—and he suspects it’s from a lot more than just a bit of kindness.

“you sure you’re not jealous?”

“no,” he grins, “i’m very sure i’m right.”

“for once,” you kiss the corner of his mouth, watching it twitch as he stares at your lips and fights the urge to chase after them, “i’ll have to admit you’re right.”

[hees-mine]

𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 - 𝐋. 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏𝟐

Pairing: heeseung ⚥ reader

Warnings: mentions of smut, angst, crying.

Genre: 18+, best friends dad, smut, single dad, minors do not interact!

WC: 2k

⟱⟱⟱

A month.

That’s how much time has passed since you and heeseung ended things, and he couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

He couldn’t pretend he didn’t miss you with his whole entire heart.

The first week was probably the toughest when you walked out crying he almost ran after you because he couldn’t stand to see you cry he wanted to tell you to stay cause he still loved you so much but he couldn’t cause he knows his daughter would really never forgive him then.

The second week was a little better but not by much it was only somewhat better cause he was doing his absolute best to convince himself he never loved you in the first place.

It was the third week that really took him out of commission. Not seeing the love of his life for three weeks felt like torture, especially since he became accustomed to seeing you every day.

And now that a whole month had gone by, he came to the realization that he was never going to get over you because his heart missed you and his body craved for you.

At night was the worst cause all he wanted after a hard day of work was to collapse in your arms, feel your comforting warmth as you held him close and played with his hair while the two of you talked about whatever.

He really missed the intimate moments, too. He’d gone years without them, yet once you and him started making love, he felt like he couldn’t go longer than a few days without touching your body and making you feel good.

Shit, just the thought had him worked up.

Maybe he’d let his mind wander a bit too far cause now he was bulging underneath his boxers as he lay in bed thinking about you and him together.

This definitely wouldn’t be the first time. Most nights, he’d crave for you, his cock would throb almost painfully between his legs, and his sensitive tip would stain his underwear in ridiculous amounts of precum in desperate need to be inside you, and tonight was no different.

He moaned your name softly and swiped his tongue over his bottom lip before sinking his teeth into the flesh as he palmed at his stiff erection to satiate his thirst for you.

He let his thoughts roam free, thinking about your body and how good you felt around him, squeezing him in so tight, making it hard for him to even think straight when his dick was buried so deep inside you.

He absolutely loved how wet you got for him, your sweet little pussy wetting his cock and making the nastiest sounds between your conjoined bodies.

Fuck he was about to cum thinking of you like that.

His toes curled as his eyes fluttered shut. His breath was uneven as he stuck his hand inside his underwear and pumped his thick length that was sticky with his arousal.

The wet sound so familiar but so far from the real thing he’d give anything to hear, see and feel you creaming his hard dick right now.

“So close, y/n, please,” he begged softly for you, the tightness in his abdomen building slowly but surely, and he was so ready to burst. All he had to do was imagine your pretty face, and he could let go and indulge in the feeling of pleasure.

Except he never could get there because every time he imagined your face, he got emotional, and with that, the feeling started to wither away. The pace of his hand slowed until it gradually stopped, and he pulled his hand out of his boxers, wiping the mess off his hand as he curled into himself and laid on his side clutching the spare pillow, pretending it was you sniffing it in hopes he could get one last whiff of your scent, but nothing was there you weren’t there anymore, and it pained him so much.

This was his nightly routine, and normally he’d just think about you and look at your old texts together till he was sleepy but this night he felt too weak to even reach for his phone and look at the painful memories so he balled himself up and cried into the pillow until he was so tired and mentally exhausted that he had no choice but to fall asleep.

-

The coming morning he woke up feeling like complete shit, his face stained with tears accompanied by a huge headache. He’s not sure what hurt most, his head or his heart.

He didn’t give himself time to think before he mindlessly stumbled out of bed and into the shower to get ready for work. He stood under the warm water, tense and unable to relax as the little water droplets cascaded down his lifeless body.

His shower was a blur, and he found himself just going through the motions. As he turned the knobs off and stepped out of the tub, he dried himself off and put on a wrinkled suit, not caring how he presented himself at work. He didn’t care about anything anymore.

He went downstairs and sat at the table, waiting until his daughter came down for school. “Morning, Dad.”

He looked up, acknowledging her presence with a half smile. “Morning sweetheart” he mumbled and scrolled on his phone again looking at your guys old texts together.

“Oh, I forgot my bag,” she sighed.

“Which one? I’ll run upstairs and grab it pumpkin,” he volunteers.

“The book bag, thanks, Dad.” she tied her shoes at the door, and as pressed for time as she was, she couldn’t help but notice her dad's phone on the table. The screen lit up as it displayed what looked to be text messages. She had noticed he was on his phone a lot more often these days and a little secretive about it, too, so being the noisy girl she is, she went to take a peek at it before she could even see what was on the screen he was already coming back downstairs with her bag.

“Ready? We don’t have much time.” his eyes traveled to where she was looking, and he quickly snatched up his phone, launching the tab. He can’t believe he was that negligent and left his phone on if he got caught looking at your guys shared texts, he doesn’t know how he would be able to get himself out of that one.

“Yeah,” she eyed him suspiciously and made a mental note to try to see what was on his phone later.

“Good, let’s go.” he smiles awkwardly and opens the door for her, getting ready to drive her to school.

-

Heeseung tried his best to function at optimal efficiency but he couldn’t the first couple hours was okay and his mind was occupied with work but the rest just felt like hell.

He’s not sure what tasks he even accomplished today and he couldn’t care less all he cared about was clocking out for day and going back home to wallow in sadness.

As soon as his shift was up, he left the building in record time and headed to the store to buy groceries for dinner.

Everything was going okay until halfway through his shopping trip when he saw you.

And wow you looked so beautiful just the same as he remembers he was so caught up staring at you that when two other figures appeared at your side he was startled he looked at the two and he could only assume they were your parents as it was an older male and older female.

He was shocked to see you and even more shocked when you made eye contact with him and for some reason he couldn’t even face you his eyes immediately flickered down to the floor all sorts of emotions rushing through his body and his heart was beating so fast he could hear it in his ears he felt like he couldn’t breathe and despite his cart being full of groceries he literally ran out of the store and back to his car.

He quickly sat in the driver seat hands clutched tightly on the steering wheel in a poor attempt to stop them from shaking so bad.

He tried to take a few deep breaths, but not even that was working to calm him. His vision started getting blurry as his eyes filled with warm tears, and he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He was so overcome by emotions that he couldn’t stop himself from crying even if he wanted to. “It hurts so bad” he took a shaky breath subconsciously biting in his lip his brows knotted in distress.

The sudden ringing of his phone made him jump in his seat he quickly reached for it wiping the tears to clear his eyes and make out the number that was calling him. “H-hey sweetpea” he answered the phone as normal as he possibly could in a situation like this.

“Dad? Are you okay?” He hears her worried voice and quickly assures her.

“Yeah, no, yeah, I’m fine.” he quickly fixed his voice and wiped his tears. “Why do you ask?” He fake chuckled and picked at the threading on the steering wheel.

“Cause you sound different,” she pouts.

“Maybe I'm coming down with something the weather's been off lately,” he lies.

“Maybe I was just wondering what time you’re coming home?” She asked.

“Soon pumpkin, I’m getting dinner right now,” he answers, his breath a bit more steady now.

“Hurry home, I’m hungry,” he chuckled lightly.

“Will do, sweetpea. See you soon, okay?”

“See you~” he hangs up the phone with a tap and sets it in the passenger seat, frustratedly running his palms over his face.

Looks like he was going to get take out instead.

-

Heeseung drove into the empty parking space at his house checking his reflection one last time to make sure he didn’t look like he had just got done crying for the past ten minutes.

He exhaled a shaky breath and turned off his engine, straightening himself out before entering his home. “I’m home,” he called from downstairs, tossing his keys on the lamp stand.

He heard footsteps quickly approaching as he went to the kitchen and set the food down on the table. “It’s about time,” she rolled her eyes.

“Sit down, hush, and be grateful,” he said sternly as he plated the food.

“Thanks, Dad,” she mumbled.

“You’re welcome,” he chuckled dryly. His usual playful banter was cut short cause he just wasn’t in the mood tonight.

As he placed a plate of food in front of his daughter, it was clear as day, he didn’t look like himself.

“You sure you’re okay?” She asked hesitantly.

“Just tired from work you know got a lot on my mind” he was about to get food for himself but he hasn’t had an appetite since you left. “Hey I’m gonna sleep early tonight just don’t eat it all” he teased and ruffled her hair as she whined.

“I don’t eat a lot,” she pouted.

“The scale would say otherwise,” he chuckled as he jogged upstairs and heard her screaming for him to get back downstairs. “It’s only payback,” he shouted before going inside his room to get cleaned up.

He took a shower and changed into his bedclothes. As he towel-dried his hair, he couldn’t help the urge to plop down on his bed and grab his phone to look at the texts you both shared with each other.

Tears gathered in his eyes once he scrolled to the top. He wished he had texted you a little bit more just so he could have something to look back at, but at the time, he didn’t know this would be the outcome of your guy's relationship.

He smiled, looking at the I love you text you sent him along with a cute little heart emoji, and he broke down. He buried his face in his hands, crying his eyes out.

“Dad I put the left overs away-“ the sound of his daughter’s voice made him look up and he tried to discreetly wipe his tears and shut off his phone.

“Okay, sweetpea, thank you. Get some rest soon, yeah?” He was surprised he was able to respond with a normal tone and now he could only hope the dimness in his bedroom would be enough to hide his tears.

“Goodnight, Dad.” She eyed him, confused as to why he seemed so different lately.

“Night, sweetheart,” he smiles, and she shut his door softly.

He really couldn’t keep getting caught acting like this. His daughter was already seemingly suspicious of him, and if he got caught still pining over you, he could only imagine what would happen. He had to stop. He had to get over you, but he was going to look at your texts one last time.

⟱⟱⟱

Thanks for reading please reblog and leave feedback.

[sleepy-kuroo]

and this darkness appears, leaving me stranded

Miguel O'Hara x Gn!Reader

Word Count: 750

A/n: First time writing in a while, but I can't stop thinking about Miguel O'Hara. Don't know if I'll do a part two.

Edit: read the prequel here! I will not be continuing this so sorry y'all. It's just gonna be an angsty ending :(

You sat on the ledge of your apartment building, dressed in your spider-suit with your mask halfway up as you ate the sandwich you packed. The sun was setting in the horizon, the sky blossoming with hues of warm oranges and cool lilacs. You had your headphones on, nodding your head as you enjoyed your time off.

Your body was slightly sore after finishing your patrol for the day, back aching from a fall you had sustained earlier. You relaxed under the cool breeze, watching traffic move below you mindlessly. You took a deep breath, relaxing your shoulders when your spider sense activated, alerting you of a presence behind you.

You looked over your shoulder, spotting familiar sparks of warm yellows and oranges. You hear the faint whirring of a portal through your headphones. Without looking at the figure behind you, you paused your music and took off your headphones. 

“Thought you never wanted to see my face again,” you spoke, taking another bite of your sandwich. You heard a sigh of annoyance behind you before footsteps grew louder. You took your mask off fully and looked up at the figure standing right beside you on the ledge. “Missed me already?” you asked, a hint of bitterness in your tone. 

Miguel O’Hara looked down on you with that familiar hard gaze, his large stature looming over you. The two of you exchanged looks, not speaking a word as tension slowly thickened the air around you. Your pointed glares and stern expressions communicated more than enough. The longer you stared, the more you began to recognize some of the emotions swirling in his eyes: anger, frustration, annoyance, and…desperation. 

“Come back,” he finally spoke. His voice cut through the thick air between you, heavy with that commanding tone you both loved and hated.

You simply stare at him, not saying a word before moving your attention back to the sunset in front of you. You watch as the sun now barely peeks over the horizon, the warm oranges slowly fading out as the sky becomes enveloped in cool blues and lilacs.

Silence falls over the two of you.

 “No.”

“No?”

“No,” you repeat yourself, putting the rest of the sandwich back in its container and slipping it into your bag along with your headphones. You pulled your mask over your head and stood up on the ledge. “If that’s all you came here for then you should go back. Wouldn’t want you to waste your time on me,” you sigh, watching as Miguel closes his eyes in frustration as he’s reminded of his last words to you.

You begin to step off the ledge when Miguel wraps his large hand around your arm, holding you in place. “(Y/n),” he grunted in annoyance. His actions flip a switch in you, your resentment towards him threatening to spill over. 

You snap your gaze towards him, the eye slits on your mask narrowing as you glare at him but slightly soften at the new expression on his face. His gaze still held the same sharpness to it but you picked up on the faintest furrow of his brows and the slight frown pulling down the corners of his lips. His eyes though…oh the desperation in his eyes. He’s looking at you as if it’s the last time he’ll ever see you…and perhaps it is.

“I’m sor-...” Miguel speaks again, the words on the tip of his tongue but refuses to spill out. He’s not sure if you can tell but he’s terrified. Terrified of being vulnerable again. Terrified of losing you. Terrified of the realization that his actions may have just caused him to lose another person he cared about.

You wait patiently, a part of you desperately wishing that Miguel will take the leap, to allow himself to open up again…

…but his grip on your arm loosens up and falls to his side. Miguel looks back down at the ground, fists clenched at his side as clearly struggles with himself. The longer that time passes though, the more you realize that you don’t have the time to wait for him anymore.

“Don’t come back here Miguel,” you speak softly but there is no anger left in your voice, only sadness. “For your own sake…” You look at him one last time before stepping off the ledge, swinging back onto the fire escape and going back into your apartment.

The sun is nowhere to be found by the time Miguel leaves.

[cozage]

Responding to “I’m late"

Characters: f reader (gn terms!) x Luffy, Sanji, Shanks, Law

Cw: some pretty major angsty emotions in this. Spoilers for Dressrosa in Law's and WCI in Sanji's. Period talk

Total word count: 1k

--

He walks into your alls room and finds you sitting on the bed. You’re staring at the calendar on the far wall, still as a statue. 

“I’m late,” you whisper to him. 

Luffy

“Late for what?” Luffy isn’t clueless, but vague statements like that go over his head. 

“My period, Luffy!” Your head falls into your hands, but he’s still struggling to fully connect the dots.  

He tilts his head at you. He can tell you’re in distress and that worries him. “Is that normal?” 

“Obviously not,” you growl. “Or else I wouldn’t be telling you that I might be pregnant!”

His eyes widen at that statement, and finally he rushes over to where you’re sitting on the bed. He curses himself for being so oblivious. 

“How late are you?” He asks. There’s a slight urgency in his voice, but he’s trying to keep the panic down. 

“A week and a half!” At that response, Luffy realizes he knows nothing about these kinds of things. “Should we go talk to Chopper?” He offers. He hates being so clueless and he knows he’s not helping much. 

The way you’re looking at him makes him think that was also the wrong response. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’m doing this all wrong.” He sits down next to you and puts his arm around your shoulder, leaning you in to him. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know!” You cried, and he rubs your arm soothingly. 

“It’s okay,” he says, kissing the side of your head. “We have time to figure it out. And we will.”

Sanji

He should be over the moon. He should be ecstatic. He should be absolutely thrilled. But all he feels is dread. 

He tries to hide it. He really does. But you can see it. Because that’s the first emotion you felt too. 

“Sanji?” You call, trying to snap him out of the daze he’s in. But he’s frozen, just like you were. 

All he can think of is how his mutated genes are now forming a new human. What if it turns out like his brothers? What if it has 20 fingers and 20 toes? What if you get sick like his mother?

“Sanji?” You call again, and this time he snaps out of his spiraling. 

“What do you want to do?” He asks, and you can hear his voice tremble. He pulls out a cigarette and snaps open his lighter. Smoking is always an easy sign that he’s stressed. 

“I don’t know,” you admit. He nods, and comes to sit on the bed with you. 

His eyes look to your stomach, still trying to process it all. “We should go talk to Chopper. He’ll tell us if it’s something we need to worry about not. Maybe it’s just a weird month for you.”

You nod, and he takes your hand and leads you to the infirmary. He has to know, he has to prepare for the possibility. He can’t help but say a silent prayer to the universe on your way there for some kind of miracle. 

Shanks

“I know,” he sighs. “You know?” You stare at him, shocked.

“Of course I know! I know your schedule!” He smiles, and his arm reaches down to take your hand. He pulls you to your feet, and then holds you close to him. 

You rest your head against his chest and take an unsteady breath. “How do you feel?” He asks. 

“Scared,” you say, and you can feel tears prick at your eyes. He hums at your statement, and you to stand there for a moment in silence. 

He starts swaying you back at forth, as if the two of you are dancing without music.

He pulls you back and spins you around, and you laugh at his moves. He smiles when he hears your melody of joy, and you can see him relax a little bit. 

He pulls you back into him, still swaying. “We’ll be at a new island in two days. How about we go to a doctor there and see if we can get some answers. We’ll figure it out together, okay?” 

You nod into his chest. You’re still terrified, but at least you have him by your side. 

Law

He stands there, eyes moving between you and your stomach. “Late?” He questions. But he already knows. 

You ask for Midol and a heating pad at the same time every month. He gives you back massages at the same time every month. But not this month. 

You just nod, still staring at the calendar. He turns on his heels and runs out the door, leaving you alone.

He walks briskly through the hallways, trying to keep his nerves down. But his mind is racing. What if his child develops Amber Lead Disease? What if he passed it on to the baby somehow. It might be out of his system, but that doesn’t mean the lasting effects are gone from the disease. 

He’s also scared for you. He knows how taxing pregnancy is, and being in a submarine isn’t something you should do if you were pregnant. The pressure of the sea floor, the dangers of being a pirate, there were so many risks that came with it all. 

He grabs his sword and creates a room, and quickly shambles back to you. He finds you curled up in the bed crying, and realizes his mistake. 

“Im sorry, y/n-ya,” he whispers, brushing your hair to the side. “I didn’t mean to leave you without saying anything.”

You dry your eyes and look up at him, still sniffling. “I’m scared, Law.”

“Let’s find out how scared we need to be, okay?” He guides your limbs to position you to lay flat on your back, and he holds the sword over you. “Scan.”

[freedomfireflies]

Bite Me*

Summary: Part of Halloween Kinktober, Freaky Fun

The one where your boyfriend, Harry, is a vampire.

And you wish you could feel what he felt.

Word Count: 3.2k

*Contains Mature and Explicit content! Please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞You are so much more important!*

“Easy…easy, sweet dove. Need to relax for me. Can smell how nervous you are. Take a deep breath, hm?”

Shaky fingers gather in front of your stomach as you nod nervously. Staring up at your boyfriend with anticipation and remorse. “Sorry, I just…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing,” he says quickly, reaching up to brush some hair behind your ear. “There is nothing wrong with you, darling. It’s chemical. You’re meant to feel nervous around me. It’s nature’s design. To keep you safe.”

You nod again, catching a glimmer of light from the sharp tooth peeking out from behind his lip. “I know, I just…I wish it would stop. I wish we could just be, you know? Without me being so…”

He studies you for a moment, a look of adoration on his face as he hums again and cups your cheek. “I know.”

You nestle into his touch rather contently before he begins to smile, now dipping down to nudge his nose with yours. 

“If you want…I can make the bad feeling go away,” he whispers with a slight purr. “Can make it all better again.”

Hopeful, your lashes flutter. “Really?”

He nods once. “Mhm. Just wanna help you, dove. Want you to feel good.”

And now you understand what he means, the thought sending a spark down to your toes. It’s rare he feeds from you. After all, he considers the act to be degrading and disrespectful. He only ever feeds from animals or blood bags unless you’ve specifically asked.

But the truth is, you love when he feeds from you. For a plethora of reasons, one of which being the overwhelming sense of need and dependance on him that follows. Or the way his eyes grow darker and his entire demeanor changes. How much stronger he becomes feeding on human blood, specifically the blood of someone he loves.

But another reason lies with his fangs. The venom that becomes injected into your bloodstream, forcing you to feel whatever emotion or desire he feels. 

It’s a trick used to lure and calm his prey into submission while he feeds, but you find another use for it. Because if he’s filled with serenity or anger or lust…you feel it, too. You feel him. Only him.

And it’s your absolute favorite feeling in the world.

His other hand now reaches for your neck, fingers gently tapping the sides of your throat. “Just say the word, darling. And I’ll give you anything you want.”

You feel your chest deflate, all the air evaporating from your lungs as he slowly urges you back against the wall. Bracing you there as he awaits your decision.

He knows what you want. And he knows that you’d tell him otherwise. 

Your fingers tangle in the dark shirt on his chest, desperate to keep him near you. “Do it. Please.”

He tilts your head back, letting his lip curl up until his fang is revealed. “Are you sure, my dove?”

Another fervent nod. “Yes. Please, Har…please, need to feel it. Need to feel you.”

He leans closer, letting the tips of his sharp teeth graze over the sensitive skin of your throat. Right above your pulse point. “Gotta be really sure, darling. Don’t want to hurt you. Or lose control.”

“You won’t,” you exhale, feeling more confident than you sound. “Know you won’t.”

Truth be told, you wouldn’t mind if he did. Even in his darkest moments, he remains your fiercest protector. Never allowing anyone to hurt you.

Not even himself.

You feel him breathe against your neck, perhaps preparing himself for what he’s about to do. Or maybe he’s indulging in your smell. Reveling in the realization of what he’s about to do. What he’s about to taste.

Then, almost as if overcome with a surge of confidence, he bites down – hard. Enough to break the skin and allow his venom to travel into your system.

It’s instantaneous, the feeling. The way your muscles dissolve into jelly, the way your mind fills with a certain haze, and the way your stomach begins to coil.

It’s overwhelming, but it’s him. And you whimper as his other hand falls to your hip to keep you steady, making sure you remain upright and in his arms.

He waits a moment or two to make sure the venom has taken effect before he slowly retracts his fangs and pulls away. You know if he’d punctured you any deeper or kept the sharp teeth inside of you any longer, the taste of your blood would have driven him mad. Tempting him beyond reason until he began to lose control.

But he knows his limits by now. Knows exactly how far he can push himself around you, and you admire him for it.

Your legs shake as you slump against the wall, held up by his grip as he studies you carefully. Looking for signs of remorse or panic.

He’s learned a trick for sucking a majority of the poison out of your system – if it were to come to that. And while it’s tricky and tedious, you know he’d do it in a heartbeat if he felt you were in danger or if you regretted your choice.

Instead, you simply smile at him, and nod languidly. “M’good, Har,” you assure him. “M’so good.”

He seems to exhale a grateful breath, thumb stroking your cheek gently as he now glances over your wound. “I need to clean it—"

“No,” you whimper, keeping him close. “Not yet. Don’t go yet.”

He chuckles, the corner of his mouth curling into a smirk. “All right, dove. I’m here. How do you feel, hm? You feel calm yet?”

You nod again before your lashes flutter. “Yeah. Calm, and…and happy, I think?”

He hums. “I imagine. You do make me happy.”

“It’s strange, though,” you admit, brows furrowing in thought. “Feels…heightened. Or more potent. There’s this…this yearning. This need for something.”

He regards you for a moment more. Curious and seemingly amused by your confusion before suddenly, your eyes snap to his.

You suck in a sharp inhale – something akin to a gasp. “Are you…are you horny?”

You expect his surprise, but all you find is smug fascination. “Well,” he begins slowly, letting his knuckles graze delicately beneath your jaw, “the term horny is a little juvenile. And it could never even begin to describe what I feel for you.”

He steps closer, lips ghosting just above yours while you feel your breath hitch.

“But…yes,” he whispers, glancing down at your mouth with a smile. “I suppose I am. Can’t exactly help it, darling, can I? When you look…and taste…and smell so goddamn divine.”

Another whimper bleeds from your throat as he begins to guide you away from the wall and toward the bed just to the left of you.

“Tell me…how does it feel, dove, hm?” he murmurs, touch strong yet determined. “Do you feel me? Feel how much I need you?”

This nod is quick and zealous. Because you do. It’s all you feel. This desire to have – to take and ruin. In the best possible way. It’s a similar sensation to the lust you already feel for him. Your hunger to explore the dangerous but loving man you call your own.

“Yeah?” He’s grinning like a mad man at the way you so quickly fall apart. “Can I tell you a secret, darling?” 

You whimper pitfully as you gaze up at him.

Lowering his voice, he tightens his grip. “When I’m with you…I always feel like this.”

With that, he nudges you down to sit on the mattress before surging forward to press his lips to yours. Kissing you so hard, you feel dizzy. It’s perfection. Like quenching a burning flame. Like taking that first drink of water on a hot day. Fixing a desperate need – succumbing to a craving. 

And it feels as though this kiss fixes every one of your problems. Because it does – he does. Breaks you and puts you back together again all in the same moment. It’s almost addicting. You feel insatiable, hands disappearing into his curls as you yank him down until his chest is flush with yours.

The two of you roll and writhe around on the bed for a minute or two before he leans back to offer you air. He knows you won’t take a moment to breathe otherwise, and his smug smirk merely worsens the ache between your thighs.

“Not so nervous now, hm?” he muses.

You hook your leg around his hip and attempt to grind yourself against his thigh. “Please…”

“Please what, dove?” He presses his lips to the base of your throat, trailing them down your sternum and toward your chest. “What’s it feel like, what do you need?”

But you don’t have any answer for him. Instead, all you can do is stare at the stunningly generous man as he works his way down your body. As he unbuttons your shirt and kisses over the swell of your breast. 

The stain of your blood from his lips smears across your nipple before he takes it into his mouth. Sucking and licking at the tender skin while he kneads the other one in his palm.

You arch from the mattress, desperate to disappear into his strong frame while he chuckles darkly and allows his fangs to reemerge. 

He uses them sparingly – not as a weapon but as a toy. A tool in the game of your lust.

The sharp edge pricks your skin, enough to make you gasp his name and tug on him harder. He smiles a bit bigger and carries on with his quest. Moving down your stomach and toward the waistband of your pants.

Cold, nimble fingers pop the buttons free and tug the fabric down your legs. Revealing your trembling thighs to his hungry gaze. He looks at you like you’ve been served to him on a platter. But not in the way another vampire might.

No, Harry’s look of mesmeric adoration lies in the idea of your body. In the warmth of your cunt and the soft skin of your legs. In the way you draw him in, the way you hold him, clench around him.

It’s hard for him to feel most things these days. 

But he always feels you.

He settles his body near your ankles, providing him the right angle and amount of space to spread you open and study you.

His thumb reaches for you. Pushes into your clit before dragging down between your folds as you gasp.

His expression reveals nothing. No inkling as to what he’s thinking but you know his mind is running wild with ideas.

He finds your soaked little hole, circling it once before dragging the wet substance back up and through. 

“Shh,” he coos, taming your desolate cries. “It’s okay, dove. I’ve got you.”

“Har,” you whimper, fingers itching to reach for him as he settles onto his stomach. “Please…”

You can see the reflection of light on his fangs. The way they extend past his red, swollen lips and ghost above your skin.

He nips at your hip a time or two – a slight sting that dissolves into something excruciatingly pleasurable – before he dances his mouth down. Torturing you with what’s to come instead of simply giving it to you.

“You smell divine, darling,” he purrs, groaning deep within the back of his throat. “Just might kill me again.”

You’d laugh if you had the strength, instead peering down your body at him with a desperate need. “H, I need…need—”

“Need me, hm?” He exhales a gentle breath across your clit and it’s so very cold. But it makes you jump, a new wave of arousal seeming to soak the sheets beneath. “Need me to make it better, yeah?”

You nod swiftly. “Yes…yeah. Hurts, Har.”

“Hurts?” he repeats with faux sympathy. “Oh, dove. Bet it does. Bet it’s all achy.”

Your head moves on its own accord, and you feel your stomach quiver when his cool hands curl around your thighs, keeping them spread.

“I imagine,” he whispers, returning his eyes to your pussy. “Cause I know how much it aches for me.”

He dives in, tongue lapping at your warmth and wetness without mercy as you cling to the sheets and arch from the bed.

His arms fold over your hips, keeping you pressed down and pliable to his intentions as he begins. Licking, sucking, and nibbling at certain spots – but never the spot you need him most.

The tantalizing edge of his fang grazes your soft, sensitive cunt. Sometimes harder, sometimes softer. But always impatient, desperate to feel you anyway he can.

Truth be told, you suppose he enjoys feeding on you this way just as much. In fact, this is what he claims is his nourishment whenever he’s feeling weak and unwell. One taste of your pussy and he’s a changed man.

He has you every day. Makes sure you’re at his beck and call – which you already are, anyway. 

If he’s working, if he’s cooking, if he’s reading. He merely gives you a look and calls you by that familiarly loving nickname, and next thing you know, you’re sitting on his face.

The stretch of your muscles is almost distracting, but not nearly as distracting as his groans of pleasure. The way he curses to himself as he swallows you down. Nudging at your cunt with his mouth like you’re the best meal he’s ever had.

And then…those perfect lips find your clit. He sucks, and moans, and you cry out his name. Grasping onto his hair in a futile attempt at stability and more.

He lets you tug him closer. You imagine – if he were still alive – he’d be suffocated by your pussy. Which…he’d probably enjoy.

As it is, he continues his ministrations almost mercilessly while you squirm beneath him and attempt to buck up against his tongue.

“I know,” he whispers, almost soothingly, and it feels like a vast contrast to the way he forces you into so much pleasure. “Know, darling. Can hear your pretty, little heart racing. Try to breathe, yeah? While you still can.”

You suck in a greedy gasp, eager to obey, as you focus on the sounds coming from between your thighs. It’s sinful and sensual and it echoes around the room until it’s all you hear.

“Doing so good, babydove,” he murmurs, glancing up just long enough to see the first tear slip from your eye. “It’s a lot right now, I know. I know, but you can take it. Always do so good for me. Let me see you cum, yeah? Let me see this pretty pussy cum for me.”

And you want to more than anything. Chasing the need in your own belly along with the need from his venom. The combined rush of ecstasy that makes stars explode across your eyelids as more destitute sounds fall from your tongue. 

His hands suddenly slip beneath your back, forcing you from the bed as he repositions you and nearly pulls you right through him. 

Large fingers grope the tender flesh of your ass as he holds you against his mouth and sucks the sensitive nerves between puckered lips. 

“Tell me,” he ushers softly, a golden hue to those vivid eyes watching you closely. “Tell me how bad I need you. Tell me how much I love you—”

“Har,” you gasp, trembling in his touch. “Can’t…can’t…m’gonna cum, I…please—”

“Try. Tell me. Tell me that you feel me—”

“I do,” you whine. “I do, I feel you. Feel you, Har. So good. It’s so good, please—”

“All right, darling. You gonna let me taste you? Need to taste you, darling. Can’t live without it—”

“Harry—”

He pulls away just enough to raise his hand and smack it down your cunt. The cold metal of his ring catching your clit before two more spanks are laid in succession.

You moan loudly – almost undone by the eroticism itself – before he dips back down, and grazes the delicate bud with the edge of his fang.

You feel him slip a finger inside. Pumping you once – twice – before he adds a second. Wanting to fill you and finger-fuck you to the edge as quickly as possible.

It hits you then. Overpowers you and knocks the wind from your lungs. 

You fall apart in his hands, against his tongue. Moaning and whimpering as your toes curl and your eyes roll to the back of your head. It feels as though you cum twice as hard – perhaps a result of the venom or the symbolism of his need for you. The way your taste has satisfied his thirst.

“Yes, yes…there you go, that’s my fucking girl.” His tone is rough but riddled with lust. He groans like he’s never been filled with so much devotion. An anxious almost obsessed sound that drags your orgasm on at least a few seconds longer. “Give it to me, dove…fucking give it to me—”

“Harry—” You gasp his name like it’s the last sound you’ll ever make. Tears building in your eyes before they cascade down your warm cheeks. 

Ever the sadist, Harry works you through until your cunt is throbbing and far too sensitive to the touch. Despite your cries and whimpers for mercy, he carries on. Thrusting, licking, and sucking until you can hardly breathe.

Eventually he releases you and leans back. Perhaps able to hear the erratic racing of your pulse beneath your chest as he now works to hush your anxious mewling.

Crawling up your body with care, his fangs retract, and he buries his face in your neck to keep you still. Pressing his chest to yours in an effort to help calm you.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, lips grazing your skin as he speaks. “It’s okay, dove. You’re okay. God, did so fucking good for me, darling. Always taste so good, make me so happy.”

You tiredly grasp onto his arms, needing to hold onto him just as tightly as he’s holding onto you. Wanting to share in this moment as he smirks against your throat. 

“You okay?” he asks you now. “You’re nervous again.”

“No, I’m…I’m okay,” you assure him through a pant. “I just…it feels so good. So…heavy, you know? Overwhelming.”

He chuckles softly and pushes up onto his elbows to get a good look at you. Thumb finding your cheekbone as he traces the delicate curve of your face with great adoration. “Are you saying I overwhelm you?”

You nod, smiling giddily as you tug your bottom lip between your teeth. “In the best possible way.”

Grinning himself, he leans down to capture your lips with his. And it’s soft and slow and an oddly angelic end to such a devilish evening.

“Har?” you whisper, lashes fluttering shut as you nose your way under his jaw.

“Yes, dove?”

Your kisses trail below his ear, making his fingers flex. “You know what I think?”

“What's that, darling?”

You begin to smirk wickedly as you slip your hand around the back of his neck and tug him closer. Allowing the edge of your teeth to finally make contact with his skin.

He stills.

“I think it’s my turn now.”

Just wanna put in a quick note and clarify that even though she was feeling a bit of his horniness and desire, she was still very much horny all on her own HAHAHA this was 1000000% consented to from beginning to end from both parties!

Also vampire!harry is so fun?? And I loved this?? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME??

~ Freaky Fun Masterlist

~ Main Masterlist

~ Blurb Masterlist

Amazing divider by @firefly-graphics! 💞

Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @peterparker1sgf @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @vane28282 @lukesaprince @closureesny @lc-fics @0nlythrowharrybeaux @hannahdressedasabanana @scndsofsummer @theofficialprongs

[strzlun]

CONTROL

// lee heeseung //

pairing: street racer!heeseung x best friend’s sister!femreader

word count- 4.8k

genre/cws- fluff, angst, forbidden love(?), 1 year age difference, kissing, confessions, slow burn(ish), realization, driving, heeseung is protective, party settings, heeseung is so madly in love, heeseung is terrible at feelings

summary- Heeseung lost control of his feelings for his best friend’s sister

________________________________________________________

Being a street racer was seemingly one of the enjoyable ways for Heeseung to spend his time. He was proclaimed to be cold to everyone, never speaking unless spoken to.

But that always switched when he was around his best friend and you. He mainly enjoyed your company the most instead of your brother but that was something he wouldn’t admit out loud.

After all you were his best friend’s younger sister.

So how can he just admit that so openly without opening the closed door he has bolted locked for years.

Your smiles always seemed to have an affect on Heeseung that he didn’t quite like. It always made his heart flutter against his chest, made him want to be the sole reason before them.

His mind ran a millions thoughts only based of a glimpse of your smile he had spotted in the corner of his eye.

But he could tell in the ways your eyes look at him that you didn’t feel the same way. Whenever he smiled, your gaze would linger for a second longer and that would be it before turning your gaze away.

It wasn’t something he held against you or himself, why would he? He was simply your brother’s best friend and that’s all you would view him, he’s accepted it.

Hence, why he bolted shut the door of the unsaid growing feelings for you deep in his mind, that he thought it would seize to exist.

Heeseung’s plan failed miserably because no matter how hard he tried, you lingered in his head, day and night. He tried everything but nothing worked, you were just more powerful than anything he’s ever encounter.

So when he was introduced to street racing, he thought it wouldn’t take his mind off you but he still decided for try. And for Heeseung it was a great decision, it was an adrenaline rush he’d never felt for.

He soon changed from the reserved quiet person he once used to be and was introduced to a different side of him that he never thought could exist.

He became more open, friendly, social. Heeseung was able to experience and express emotions he never showed to anyone else.

The more he got into street racing, the more his mind became focused onto it seeming to forget everything around him.

Well almost everything, you and your brother were still on Heeseung’s mind (you more than anything). But he tried to make it seem like he became too focused onto street racing that he seemed to spend less time with you but not your brother.

You remember he no longer paid attention to you, seeming to only acknowledge you whenever your brother pointed you out.

Obviously, you took notice to the sudden change from him. You tried to think of the perfect way to address it to him but in your gut the timing wasn’t right, well at least just yet.

So when your brother said he had to step out for a moment having you and Heeseung staying behind to finish the movie. You dismissed it as nothing while Heeseung was practically sweating bullets having to stay just a few moments with you.

Once your brother was gone, neither of you spoke. You could feel the shake coming from Heeseung and you were worried, he was never like this before.

Heeseung on the other hand knew if he had to stay a moment longer, he was afraid he would implode into an abyss. It was nothing against you personally but rather, he was trying to maintain his feelings at bay.

Yet, to you it seemed that a switched in your brain flipped off because you were quick to question Heeseung on the strange behavior you picked up on.

You’ve known Heeseung practically of years because of your brother, it didn’t bother you having to go up to him.

“Heeseung how come you’ve been ignoring me?” The way Heeseung had the air get caught in his throat made him cough loudly

He patted his chest lightly trying to get the air he lost for a moment back into his lungs. He looked at you and the way his eyes were screaming at you made you think there was something more.

You were right, Heeseung’s heart and mind was practically screaming at him to confess everything to you but he didn’t of course.

“Ignoring you? What” Heeseung awkwardly laughing changing his gaze from you onto the TV that never stopped playing the movie

There was a silence for a moment, he could feel his your gaze on him and he could feel himself melting and you hadn’t even done anything.

He was weak for you.

“Sorry must have misread it” You muttered and got up from the couch, he froze for a moment watching you and he could see you walking away

Not a moment later, you were out the house with not a single word spoke to him. He wanted to stop to you but he remained planted on the couch, simply waiting for your brother’s return.

When his best friend did return, he took notice of your absence and questioned Heeseung who shrugged his shoulders. Your brother brushed it off, thinking you must have had something while Heeseung was controlling every inch of his body to not go off looking for you.

You didn’t realize the hold you had on Heeseung and he was trying everything in his control to keep it to a minimum. He couldn’t risk the possibility of losing you in his life for what he assumed to be stupid feelings.

“Remind me again why we’re out here?” You questioned your brother as you lightly shivered because of the cold, you were told you would be hanging out with your brother

You didn’t expect to be dragged to the middle of nowhere with other people cheering left and right in your ears.

“It’s a surprise” The moment the loud engine filled your ear, you knew exactly where you were

You remember the details Heeseung described to you when the two of you used to talk nearly every day (which was now to mere head nods as greetings).

The way the roars from the engines fired something in you, as the sudden change in the environment shifted to pure excitement.

Everyone screamed as a car pulled up and when the person walked out, you feel all the air get knocked out of you. You could hear your brother cheering and clapping his hands proudly for his best friend.

Heeseung smile widely as he stepped out, well receiving the crowds cheers for him. He scanned the crowd to look for his best friend but you stood out like a sore thumb to him.

His smile fell the moment he saw your face. It’s been a while since the whole situation happened between the two of you last spoke to each other, so there was tension.

Heeseung’s eyes never seemed to leave yours even though he was being dragged away. Your gaze remained in each other until his head was practically ripped from your direction.

Your brother took notice and questioned but he knew that you and Heeseung seemed to have been going through something so he didn’t dare to intervene. You were trying to wrap your head around the fact that Lee Heeseung, your brother’s best friend was now a street racer.

That was something you never expected.

While Heeseung couldn’t even focus on the words being told to him. He aimlessly nodded his head not knowing what he was agreeing to. He tried to get rid of your face from his mind but you were burned into his mind.

He thought he was getting over you, but just by seeing you again he felt the rush of emotions wash over him. He wondered why his best friend brought you after all this time, Heeseung was doing “fine” without you.

You watched in anticipation as Heeseung prepared for his race, normally he would be chit chatting with your brother but instead it could be visibly noticed that he was distressed.

Some people tried to approach him but he brushed them off only to slowly revert back to his old habits before he got into street racing. Keeping to himself, only feeling comfortable with his best friend and you, his best friend’s sister.

Your eyes never left Heeseung as you saw him pacing around and laying his arms against his car. You’ve seen this side of him multiple times and normally you would go up to him to help ease it but now you couldn’t.

Your brother took notice of his best friend’s action and he was confused. He had never Heeseung act this way especially before a race.

Your brother excused himself, leaving you behind as you watched him approach Heeseung who hesitantly looked up when hearing your brother’s voice.

Heeseung’s gaze immediately went behind your brother to look for you, only to find you in the same spot you were last time. He noticed the ever so slight shiver you let out when a wind blew by.

His arms itches to rip off his jacket and give it to you, but your brother brought him back from his gaze and that’s when Heeseung looked away from you.

You grumbled before focusing your attention to your surrounding, cursing your brother for even dragging you out to this.

What you didn’t realize was the person who was now next to you. When you noticed, the person had already began talking to you.

“Are you new here?” You looked and the person had a nice smile on his face, you gave a mindful smile and nodding your head not wanting to instigate the conversation anymore

Before the person could even mutter a single word to possibly continue the situation, Heeseung had already appeared in front of you. You let out a yelp when you saw him in front of you, while he shifting his gaze onto the person next to you.

The person immediately took the hint and left. You could see Heeseung glaring at the person before shifting his gaze onto you.

Once Heeseung saw you again, up close after all this time of trying his best to ignore you, he felt everything go back into vain. The way you looked at him, surprised to even see him approach made him weak in the knees and so close to just confess everything to you.

But he had his control. He wasn’t going to confess to his best friend’s sister.

“Are you okay?” Heeseung’s worried filled voiced asked you before softening his gaze, you felt an unfamiliar thump against your chest but you brushed it aside as excitement of you and Heeseung finally acknowledging each other after so long

When Heeseung and your brother were talking, Heeseung kept his gaze on you the entire time and when he saw you were being approached he didn’t think twice to leave his best friend to make his way over towards you.

You took a while to respond but nevertheless you nodded your head and you could see the relief wash over Heeseung and almost as if it hit him in that moment that he realized what he had done.

He cleared his throat and straighten out his posture before looking at you with a tight smile. You noticed the change and you were sadden that the moment was cut so short.

“Sorry, I just know how it can get. Can’t have my best friend’s sister in that situation” The moment you heard the mention of you only being his best friend’s sister it was like ice cold water being splashed onto you

You dryly chuckled before nodding your head. You moved your gaze away and ignore his existence, if he could do that, you were going to do the same.

Heeseung immediately cursed at himself the moment those words left his mouth. That wasn’t the case at all, it wasn’t because you were his best friend’s sister but rather because you were the girl he loves.

Oh how badly Heeseung screwed up now.

Heeseung stepped foot into his car when it was his time to race and cheers for him were probably the loudest there. Even though he has only been in this area for a few months, he was already respected as one of the fastest and best street racer in the area.

But in that moment he felt like he lost his place and he was just aimlessly existing. Every time he tried to catch your eye, you looked away and he swore he could feel his heart break each time.

His foot was on the gas pedal, he kept pressing his foot onto it as he adjusted all of his mirrors. And just as he was adjusting the center mirror he caught a glimpse of you looking at his car.

It was almost as if you knew he was looking at you because you gave a tight smile, keeping your gaze still on his car.

He knows he must have been in his mind and delusions but there was a spark of hope in his heart. He tightly gripped the steering wheel and once the countdown reached zero he was gone before his opponent could even realize.

The loud cheers and engines roared in your ears as Heeseung booked it down and you found yourself memorized. Your brother chuckled softly at your reaction, he knew you were going to be caught up in it.

It was Heeseung after all. Your brother wasn’t oblivious to the obvious admiration you had for his best friend.

However, he was oblivious the fact that the assumed “platonic” admiration you had for Heeseung would soon bleed into the abyss of feelings.

When Heeseung won the race by a landslide, not only did he set a personal record that not only surprised him but everyone else.

As the crowd cheered for Heeseung as he parked his car and stepped out, his eyes grazed the crowd and once they zeroed on you and his best friend, he finally let out the smile he was building up.

Seeing Heeseung’s smile directed to you sent you into a frenzy you weren’t sure was about. But what you did know was that it made you feel giddy inside and it wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling.

You cleared your throat and kept your claps to a minimum but that didn’t matter to him. He knew he was messing up big time just by not confessing his feelings for you but he knew loosing you would be worse than suppressing his “unrequited” feelings for you.

So if he had to bury his feelings for you, he would do it with no hesitation if it meant that he could have you in his life. Yet, here he was blurring the lines not only for himself but for you as well.

Partying wasn’t Heeseung thing regardless of where he was or how he was feeling. So imagine his surprise when he was the center of attention at a party to celebrate his personal record.

Everyone was congratulating him left and right and most of the people he had never seen before. He was grateful but he still was trying to wrap his head around it.

As he tried to move through the crowd of people, he managed to escape upstairs whilst still being congratulated by people. When he went upstairs he didn’t expect to stumble upon you.

You seemed to have been keeping to yourself as you occupied yourself with your phone. But for some reason you sensed Heeseung nearing you and immediately lifted your head from your phone to him.

He froze for a moment like a deer caught in headlights but immediately cleared his throat, taking the spot next to you whilst still keeping a decent distance from you.

He didn’t want to invade in your privacy so he opted to keep a safe distance. Yet, he didn’t know how badly you wanted to revert back to how the two of you used to be.

It was a longing that you were slowly losing control over. Just what had happened between the two of you?

“Nice race” Your simple two words made Heeseung’s heart practically jump out of his chest, eveyrthing that Heeseung had worked for cam crumbling down

He was in love with his best friend’s sister and he couldn’t handle it anymore. He was finally losing control and it’s all because of you.

“Thanks, I had a good support there” You hummed at his answer, only taking it with a grain of salt not realizing you were the good support he was talking about

“You don’t look like you’re enjoying the party” Heeseung told which caused you to laugh, oh how he missed hearing your laughter

He turned his head from watching the party (which is still very much in fact going on) to you, how the lights shunned onto you made his gaze soften with a light smile on his face.

He was in absolute awe of you and when you turned to face him, you caught him but you couldn’t even say anything. You remained silent as there was a building tension between the two of you.

You don’t when you became closer to Heeseung but before you knew it, you were practically glued by his side. Neither of your eyes faltered from each other and you wondered, if you have ever seen Heeseung in this light before.

No words were spoken but actions spoke louder than anything. Heeseung seemed to have brought his head closer to yours and you feel your breathing hitching at the thought.

He stopped before either of your lips could meet. You picked up on the lightly shaking of his breathing fanning against you.

“I think I can learn to enjoy it, just this one” You muttered and right before you and Heeseung could lean in fully, the voice of your brother calling out for his best friend and you filled your ears

The both of you immediately jumped away from each other and faced the dancing crowd below. Your brother arrived finally finding you and Heeseung, not noticing the tension rising between the two of you.

The sneaky glances that you and Heeseung took at each other before quickly looking away, feeling the fast pace of your heart against your chest. It reminded you of what just almost happened between you and your brother’s best friend.

It’s been two weeks since the party and ever since then, you found yourself at every single race of Heeseung’s. You were happy to know that it wasn’t often that he raced but whenever he did, it was an experience you could never forget.

Your brother found it odd that all of sudden, you and Heeseung were intertwined again but didn’t bother to worry about, simply disregarding it as the two of you rekindled the “friendship” between the two of you.

Yet, you and Heeseung knew the truth. It was unopened door that you weren’t sure if either of you were willing to open it just yet.

You were still trying to process your feelings surrounding the situation and it only lead you to a spiral of constant questioning of what your true feelings were for Heeseung.

While on the other hand, Heeseung was trying to keep his cool and not make it obvious that he almost kissed his best friend’s sister because how could he ever own up to that to his best friend, your brother.

But at the same, he couldn’t seem to get enough of you. As the two of you were slowly falling back into each other’s life, it was nearly impossible to be reminded of what it was like when the two of you weren’t talking.

It was as if the time period of no communication never happened and Heeseung and yours relationship was only striving for the greater good.

You were laughing at something Heeseung had joked about while your brother was taking forever to get ready. Heeseung had a race soon and you had come over like always to support him. Now, you just wondered where your brother was at.

You could hear the rushing of your brother down the stairs before he scrambled around. You and Heeseung stared at your brother is confusion, waiting for an explanation and when you were given it you almost laughed.

Your brother had forgotten about a date he had and now he was suffering trying to figure out how he could redeem himself. He was out the house before either of you or Heeseung could say anything.

You and Heeseung bursted out laughing, finding the situation humorous for your brother but not his date. Once the two of you came back from your own world, you were faced with the realization that the two of you were alone.

Yes, even though you and Heeseung were going back to the way you used to be. It didn’t erase the fact that the last time you and Heeseung were left alone, the two of you nearly kissed.

So with that in the back of each of your minds, it definitely left some lingering emotion in the atmosphere that neither of you knew how to deal with. So instead you pushed it in the back of your minds and set out to Heeseung’s race.

Well that was the plan, but when you were walking out the door, you realized Heeseung was no where to be found.

You turned only to find him standing in the same place he was standing in. You tilted your head in confusion at his actions, seeing how he was playing the keys dangling from his fingers.

“Heeseung” The mention of his name caused him to deeply sigh, he couldn’t bear it any longer, the longer he puts it off the more he loses control “Come on, we don’t want to miss your race. You have a nice streak of wins going”

“I’m sorry for ignoring you. It was never my true intentions to do so but it ended going in that direction” You were shocked hearing the apology, you thought there was a silent agreement to never mention that time

You closed the door behind you as you continued to look at Heeseung. He was a liar to his own promises of never confessing to you, but this was the breaking of Heeseung. He officially lost control.

“I must be going crazy because everytime I’m near you, I can feel myself loosing everything I have built up just to get a simmer of hope”

“Hope that there could be a possibility of us happening. Now I know it’s wishful thinking but the more time passes by the more control I lose”

“And I know this is wrong, you’re my best friend’s sister. But you can’t help who you fall in love with”

“I’m so in love with you that I can barely handle it anymore” Heeseung’s sudden confession had sent you into world pool of emotions, you tried to make sense of everything being said

“You don’t need to respond or anything. I just needed to get it off my chest. It’s been so long since I’ve been wanting to tell you but I was afraid of losing you”

“So I opted for a terrible choice of managing my feelings. I’m so sorry if what I did affected you in anyway, all I wanted was the best for you. Even if it meant pushing away my desires” Your silence to Heeseung’s rant made his heart thump against his chest anxiously, he couldn’t read your expressions

“Heeseung you’re such an idiot” Your choice of words made him whip his head from the ground to you in confusion

You soon chuckled and this caused Heeseung to even become more confused. You placed your hands onto your face as you let out a heavy sigh, that’s the reasoning behind those times of not talking to Heeseung.

You were quick to make your way even closer to Heeseung who watching your every move with precision. You hummed once you were face to face with him, and the familiar thumping reminded of you the realization you had not too long ago.

You were falling for Heeseung just like how he fell for you. You made the realization that you had always had a softer spot for Heeseung in your heart, but you didn’t pinpoint what exactly it could be.

So you chose to place it under the category of it simply being your brother’s best friend when it reality it was much more than that. It was the unspoken feelings you had for Heeseung.

“It’s okay though, I’m an idiot as well” You mumbled with a soft smile on your face

“I was stupid enough to put you under the category as simply as my brother’s best friend rather than actually admitting the truth”

“I like you Heeseung, I think I have always liked you ever since I’ve met you but it only took me up until now to realize it”

“So I’m sorry it took me so long” Heeseung didn’t even hesitate to place his lips onto yours, you were caught off guard for a moment but soon melted into it

The kiss felt so right, like this was always meant to happen. It was an inevitable fate for you and Heeseung, the two of you were meant to always be intertwined in each other’s life.

When you and Heeseung finally pulled away, the two of you were nearly out of breath. You panted trying to get the air into your lungs while Heeseung panting heavily with a smile on his face.

He planted soft kisses all over your face and you giggled at the sensation. You never expected to be in this scenario with Heeseung ever.

While, Heeseung never knew this moment would ever happen, he was over the moon to know he could finally become yours.

“Will you let me have the honor in being your boyfriend?” The question made your heart flutter against your chest as you chuckled out the smile that couldn’t be contained

“What about my brother?” You raised an eyebrow knowing that Heeseung would need to go through him but Heeseung waved it off with a shrug of his shoulder

He knows he should be careful with how he handles the situation but right now, his mind was occupied by you and only you that he didn’t need to think of anything else.

“I’ll worry about him when he can beat me in a race” Heeseung was dead serious and you stayed silent for a moment before placing a peck on his lips

He stared at you in wide eyes for a moment, bringing his fingertips to graze his lips as if the two of you weren’t just kissing a few moment ago.

“You might need to become a little better than”

“You never know, he might secretly be better than you in street racing” You joked and Heeseung glared at you knowing that you were only messing with him

You and practically everyone knew it wouldn’t take long for Heeseung to become the top street racer in the area. All he needed was a few more wins in order to claim the title as his own.

But to Heeseung, he was more than happy to gain the title as your boyfriend first before even thinking about claiming the title in becoming the top racer.

“Heeseung, your race” You stated in realization that the two of you definitely missed the race he was supposed to attend but he didn’t care

“How about I take you for a drive around? I’ll let you play any songs you want” Heeseung’s offer was enough to make you forget everything about the previous topic

“Is this your way of taking me out for our first date as a couple?” You raised an eyebrow but Heeseung was quick to shake his head but he couldn’t deny the leap in heart hearing the confirmation

He was finally yours.

“Oh no, I’ll take you on a proper date but for now, let’s just experience a drive together. I realized you’ve never been in my care before” That was indeed true, in all the time you’ve known Heeseung, never once have you ever been driven by him

“Do you think you can maintain control with me there?” You teased which earned a rolling of Heeseung’s eye towards you

You giggled not expecting for the flow to be so smooth. The transitions from what used to be you and Heeseung’s relationship to now being official together amazed you. 
Neither of you have ever expected for this moment to happen. But also neither of you minded a single bit. You and Heeseung made sense being together, as if it was fate.

Heeseung didn’t realize that simply because he couldn’t control his feelings at bay any longer would lead to him being yours in the end.

Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was.

“Oh I’m Lee Heeseung, I can definitely maintain control”

[wooahaes]

a spark of realization

pairing: non-idol!hoshi x gn!reader

prompt: soulmate au series. 13/13

word count: 5.0k~

warnings: some food mentions. some angst. coworkers au. platonic love between soonyoung and his friends <3 some alcohol mentions (all regarding soonyoung drinking, no real mentions of reader actually drinking). mentions of static shocks throughout.

daisy’s notes: soonyoung looks at all of his friends and goes 'i love u all so much' and im like god same me when i look at my friends

summary: Unlike Jihoon and every other friend that swore they didn’t have one, Soonyoung knows he doesn’t have a soulmate. He’s tried plenty of the subtle soulmate things. He doesn’t feel anyone’s pain or emotions, he doesn’t taste anything weird, and he’s dyed his hair enough times to know that he most likely doesn’t have someone out there. Yet the static that makes his hair stand on end sometimes just causes him to think that maybe there’s something else to expect…

Kwon Soonyoung was positive about one thing in his life: he did not have a soulmate. Never showed any signs when he was ten onward, and he never would. Sure, it hurt to hear when he was ten—he was ten and stuck into this category of “without” regardless of how he felt about having a soulmate, that was sure to make anyone upset—but he’d figured things out for himself while growing up. Some people hated their soulmates. Other people loved them, sure, like… every single one of his friends now, but that was beside the point. Soonyoung had decided several things for himself. 

One: he didn’t need a soulmate to be happy and fulfilled. Plenty of people didn’t end up with their soulmates. Plenty of people didn’t have a romantic relationship with their soulmates, but stayed in touch. Some people didn’t even want their soulmates at all, either. Therefore: no one needed a soulmate to be a complete person. He was just fine on his own. (This was something his parents taught him from an early age.)

Two: Soonyoung did have soulmates, actually. Twelve of them. His twelve closest friends were his soulmates, platonically, and they’d all chosen each other in life. But if he had to pick one, then it was easily Jihoon. The two had known each other the longest now, and Soonyoung had told him one night that if neither of them had soulmates, then they were platonic soulmates. And even after Jihoon found his soulmate, Soonyoung still believed in it. The two of them just fit together in a way that was right.

“Really?” Jihoon had been half-asleep on the couch that night, tired from both work work and music work. He and Joshua had to re-record the song they’d been working on… again. Soonyoung could admire how dedicated Jihoon was to having a perfect product, though. “That’s sappy.”

Soonyoung had giggled, admittedly very much not sober. “No, no, I mean it! We’re soulmates, I think.” Another burst of giggles as he reached toward Jihoon’s hand. “I know you have one now, but…” 

Jihoon gently patted his cheek. “No, you’re right. We’re soulmates, too.” He shut his eyes, about to nod off again. “Soonyoung…” He yawned, turning onto his side. His dark eyes found Soonyoung’s a moment later, only barely open. “I don’t want to give you false hope, but… Have you ever looked into it?”

Soonyoung leaned against him. Of course he had. Hadn’t most people who did, deep down, want a soulmate? Well, maybe except Vernon. Vernon did his own thing most of the time. “I don’t wanna.”

“You don’t have to,” Jihoon said, understanding as always. “But…”

“Hm?”

“It’s hard to live in a world where I would have one and you wouldn’t.” Jihoon’s voice was heavy with sleep, and his eyelids fluttered shut again a moment later. “That’s all.”

“Why not?” Soonyoung stifled a yawn. “You’re cool. You make music. Plenty of people would love that. You can write your soulmate love songs now.” 

It earned a quiet chuckle from Jihoon. “Just…” He trailed off. “I was okay with not having one because love is… different. Like what Wonwoo says about it. It’s a choice and something you make. But you…” 

Soonyoung blinked curiously at him. He…? 

“Anyone would love you,” he mumbled, clearly beginning to doze off now. “I just don’t understand how it could be me and not you.”

Soonyoung had decided to love Jihoon extra from that point on. Jihoon’s soulmate did the same, and everyone else truly adored Jihoon, but Soonyoung understood. Jihoon never saw himself as the leading man in any situation. He wasn’t sure if that extended to believing he wasn’t anyone’s first choice (he was always Soonyoung’s, if that meant anything), but Soonyoung didn’t need to know. He just knew that he would always hype up Jihoon as much as he could. Everyone did, to be fair, but Soonyoung was happy to be a louder voice among the crowd. He would always be there to stream his songs when they were released and share them on every account he had, even if that sometimes required Seungcheol or Wonwoo helping him not break the link in the process.

But he’d never let go of that thought. How could it be me and not you? As if Jihoon deserved a soulmate less than Soonyoung did. Soonyoung had his moments of yearning, the same way that Seokmin often did, but he wouldn’t trade places with any of his friends. Their soulmates meant something to them. Soonyoung had seen the way Seungkwan doted on his soulmate day in and day out, and he’d quietly apologized to him once for the times he’d made inappropriate jokes. 

“What, those?” Seungkwan hadn’t seemed bothered in the slightest. “You were trying to make light of things so I wouldn’t worry.” He crossed his arms. “They hurt in those moments, but I can’t blame you for trying.”

How did Soonyoung get so lucky? Was this what the universe granted him in exchange for lacking a soulmate…? He wasn’t sure, but he wouldn’t trade any of his friends for a soulmate. He’d happily make do with the twelve he’d forged any day.

Okay, so maybe Soonyoung was getting in his head a little. Seokmin had just spent a  little over two weeks in a time loop because, surprise, he also had a soulmate. Which sent Soonyoung down a small spiral. According to some study out there that still needed more information to be more valid or whatever, a good portion of people who were told they didn’t have soulmates when they were ten were people who didn’t have obvious signs. Time loops, hair colors matching, lost items, sparks flying, colored footprints leading to the other person… All things that people simply wouldn’t have seen at age ten. 

So maybe Soonyoung started to dye his hair after Jihoon found his soulmate. It wasn’t abnormal, Soonyoung did like to play with his hair. It’d been a while since he’d gone bleach blonde. And maybe his soulmate didn’t care and that was why he stayed bleach blonde until his roots started to show. And maybe his soulmate didn’t care that their hair was cherry red not long after that…

And, maybe, Soonyoung was acutely aware of the date after Seokmin broke his loop. Each day followed one another as they always did, but Soonyoung swore a Tuesday felt just like a Monday once. 

And maybe, just maybe, Soonyoung lost a bracelet with his name on it. Joshua made him another one, no question, but he hadn’t found anything that didn’t belong to him (or Jihoon) in his living space. Everything was in its proper spot, just as it was supposed to be. Nothing new. 

No footprints stood out to him, and he hadn’t bumped into anyone lately that made him feel those mystical sparks that Jun once told him about. 

Kwon Soonyoung did not need a soulmate to be happy… So why did he want one so badly?

“I don’t need one,” was what he blubbered to Seungcheol one night, a week after Seokmin broke his time loop. “I don’t. I shouldn’t act like I need one to be happy because I am happy. I’ve been happy before, so—”

“It’s okay.” Seungcheol had held him as he cried. “Soonyoung, it’s normal for people to want them just as much as it’s normal for people to not. If you want a soulmate, it’s okay.” 

How was he supposed to say that now it was starting to hurt? That all twelve of the soulmates he chose in life had their own soulmates, even the ones who were convinced they didn’t? 

“Work is still bad,” Soonyoung said suddenly, still crying into Seungcheol’s shoulder. The words just seemed to dribble from his mouth now, no true thoughts behind them. “Two of the new hires took off because they found out they were soulmates and—and they wanted to get busy living life while they could. And now all of us are staying every night because we have to make up their work, and—”

He just kept babbling, sobbing as everything seemed to spill out of him. Seungcheol just held him, rubbing circles into his back to soothe him. Soon enough, all the words had dried up, and Soonyoung was just left, breathing quietly as he came back down. His head felt foggier than before. Lighter, though. 

“You’ll be okay,” Seungcheol promised him when Soonyoung finally moved away to wipe his face. “I’ll buy you dinner when you work next, okay?”

“I feel guilty,” Soonyoung said a moment later. With less thoughts to weigh him down, his feelings seemed to become more obvious. 

Seungcheol had chuckled. “You shouldn’t. I’m offering—”

“Not that.” Soonyoung let out a long sigh, tugging his sleeves down over his hands for a moment. When did he start feeling so cold? “I… I love all of you. You’re all some of my best friends. I meant it when I said I consider you all soulmates. I feel like I should be happy that we all met in this life, but…”

“We can’t fill that void,” Seungcheol said. He turned to face Soonyoung fully, arm draped over the back of the couch. “Soonyoung. I love you, but you aren’t my soulmate. There’s things I want to do with them now that I know them that I wouldn’t want to do with anyone else. I can’t call it love because I haven’t known them long enough, but… You do understand, right?”

Of course he understood. Soonyoung had dated before, after all. “I know, but—”

“None of us want you to feel left out,” he said. “If you want to date, then you should try dating again when things have calmed down.” He paused, “Or now, but I think the stress from work is getting to you too much.” Again, Seungcheol paused, mulling over his thoughts as though he needed to get them right the first time he spoke them aloud. “Soonyoung. Do you remember what you told all of us when you said we were your soulmates?”

Soonyoung had been… a little drunk that night. Most of them were. But Soonyoung had seen the videos that were taken by his friends of his drunken rambling, and he’d said a lot. “Which part?”

“The universe picked soulmates for a lot of us,” Seungcheol said, “but we still have to choose them. And you decided you would choose us.”

It was the easiest decision Soonyoung had ever made, and one that admittedly made him and a few others cry. He’d been right, though, hadn’t he? A soulmate was a person that the universe felt was perfect for you, but plenty of soulmates didn’t last. It was almost always the people who believed that just being soulmates was enough to have a lasting relationship. Soonyoung had seen people who finally reached their breaking point and ended things, always crying later because that was their soulmate. Almost always, their stories were similar to the others: they weren’t trying. It was supposed to come naturally to them. But a soulmate wasn’t a guarantee for love. All relationships, platonic or romantic or familial, needed work put into them. That was why Soonyoung knew that a soulmate represented a choice. One that the universe made for a person, but a choice that a person had to keep choosing if they wanted to make things work. That was how love worked, after all. Soonyoung had been in love before, and he had chosen that person until they couldn’t choose each other anymore. 

And he knew that it went the same for those with soulmates. Seungkwan had been with his soulmate for over a year now, and plenty of people could count the petty disagreements the two had had. They always came back together after they cooled off, talking things out like adults (sometimes with a little intervention from Chan or Vernon, but those moments were rare). Minghao and his soulmate had an actual argument not too long ago, but they’d bounced back and been stronger than before for it. Even Jeonghan, who had loved his soulmate almost his entire life, had an unfortunate spat that lasted a few days before he reached out to them and asked to reconcile. Love was a choice as much as it was a feeling. It was what brought them all back together again. A soulmate wasn’t the end-all be-all of love, but Soonyoung had realized why they all fit so well together. They all shared some sort of experience in some way, whether it be a string to connect them or losing objects. It was something to bond over, to open up the doors to choosing one another once that decision was clear. 

“Someone is going to choose you some day,” Seungcheol said, completely serious. “And they’ll be lucky if you choose them, too.” 

Soonyoung wiped at his eyes with his sleeve again, the fabric scratchy against his skin. Minghao would be chastising him now for it, pulling tissues out of his pocket or his bag depending on where he’d decided to keep them that day. That, too, was Minghao choosing to love his friend. “I love you,” he said softly. Thank you for choosing to be in my life. He wasn’t sure where he’d be without him.

Seungcheol chuckled, warm as ever. “I love you, too,” he said back, always as though it were the easiest thing in the world. Maybe, for Seungcheol, it was. 

A week later, work was a little kinder to him. His coworkers gossiped about some new hires coming into the company, and Soonyoung, truly, couldn’t care less. As long as they did their jobs and didn’t run off immediately to see the world or whatever those two were doing, he was happy. He’d given a polite nod to the new hires as they were introduced, and ignored the way the hairs on the back of his hand were standing on end. He’d charged himself with too much static upon coming in, dragging his feet as he tried to subtly push his sock back up after it had rolled down. He’d managed to discharge the static eventually, although the slight zap from the metal he touched had made him hiss in pain. It felt like a little too much, but what did he know? He had other things to worry about, like the backlog of work that still stood out to him. It’d take a few days for things to calm down for good. And, sure, the polite thing to do would be to get drinks with his coworkers… But no one was inviting anyone anywhere. Not when there was too much work during the day and everyone was exhausted by the time they all clocked out. 

“So? What do you think?” One of his coworkers had whispered to another after the new hires (a pair of people around Soonyoung’s age) had left ahead of them, having packed up quickly to catch their buses home.

Soonyoung packed up a little slower. Maybe it was wrong to listen in, but…

“Hm…” The woman hummed to herself for a moment, shifting her weight from leg to leg. “I’m not sure yet. Sungyoon seems to work hard, but the other person…” She frowned, crossing her arms as she grew still. “They’re very quiet. Like…” 

Soonyoung knew that she had just glanced at him. He’d always been the quiet one at work, the polite one who worked hard. That’s what you were like, from what he understood, too. You came in, you put yourself to work, and then politely excused yourself when you needed to run to get to your bus. Sungyoon had gone with you, not keeping it secret from anyone that the two of you were at least friends. Speaking of…

“Do you think they’re dating?” She whispered to the other. 

Soonyoung hoped you weren’t. You were… actually kinda cute? Plus he admired your work ethic a lot, even on your first day. Maybe when things calmed down, he could ask you out to coffee or something. 

“I didn’t see any marks,” the other man said, not bothering to lower his voice any further. “They could be soulmates. They clearly have a history…”

Soonyoung packed his bag and took off. He’d had enough of this. The journey home was uneventful, but Jihoon had picked up on how disgruntled Soonyoung was from the moment he walked in the door. Halfway through his vent session, Jihoon had looked at him.

“Why are you jealous? You just met them.” 

Jealous? Soonyoung was not jealous of anyone. He choked on his own words, unsure of what he could say that was actually convincing. If he denied it, then Jihoon would only believe that he was bullshitting him to try and save face. Yes, you were cute in Soonyoung’s eyes, but he’d only just met you! He’d be a weirdo if he was jealous this quickly! And you wouldn’t want anything to do with him if he was weird. 

“I’m not jealous,” Soonyoung said once he was sure he could say it casually. “I just find it weird that my coworkers care so much. They’re doing a good job.” He paused for a second, “both of them are! Sungyoon is very nice.”

Jihoon was not convinced. Nothing could convince him now, then. “Mhm.” He shrugged. “Nothing wrong with being a little jealous if they’re clearly close. Just don’t let it bother you.”

“I’m not!” Soonyoung felt his face heating up. He wasn’t. He wasn’t bothered in the slightest. It was more-so his coworkers being weird about it. It was weird to speculate, wasn’t it? If you had a soulmate, then good for you. If you didn’t, then… 

Then maybe Soonyoung had a shot.

“A soulmate?” You had looked up, the same man who’d speculated about you and Sungyoon being soulmates having shoved his nose into your business. You blinked, unsure of where this topic had even come from. “No, I don’t have one. I don’t think I do, at least. Is this a part of company business? I told H.R. after I was hired that I don’t have any signs that would prevent me from working, but I didn’t know everyone needed to know this.”

Soonyoung smiled to himself. Yeah, you tell him. It was your business anyway. 

“But what about you and Sungyoon—”

“College friends.” You smiled politely. “We live close to one another, too. I’m not seeing anyone now. Is that all?”

Sungyoon sat at his desk, watching you with this amused twinkle in his eyes. Sungyoon had the same kind of admiration for you that Soonyoung had for his friends, he was positive. He watched the way his coworker slinked off after a moment, apologizing for prying into your personal life as you returned to work. Soonyoung reached down to pull something from a desk drawer, only to feel a familiar zap the moment he did. He’d winced in pain, but it did nothing to dampen his mood. When Soonyoung relayed later the information to his friends at dinner that night, Wonwoo had watched him the entire time, all too aware of how thrilled Soonyoung seemed to be about the whole ordeal.

“Why do you seem so happy?”

Was he happy? He was, kind of. Without being disrespectful, you’d rebuffed the guy and kept most of your privacy in doing so. There were no long drawn out college stories about some adventure you and Sungyoon had while in college, no emotional moments of spilling about how you resented the fact you didn’t have a soulmate. Hell, Soonyoung had no idea how you felt about it. Were you indifferent like him? Did you have a similar situation to him, too, where you had chosen your own soulmates out of your friends?

“They were being disrespected,” Soonyoung had settled on saying. “I’m glad they handled the situation well—”

“He likes them and wants to ask them out,” Jihoon said after taking a sip of his water. “So he’s glad they’re single.”

Soonyoung shoved Jihoon slightly. “That’s not it at all!”

Jun chuckled from his seat, watching the exchange. “There’s nothing wrong with liking them, you know.” 

“There isn’t, but I don’t like them like that. I barely know them. We’ve barely even talked.” Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “How can I like someone I don’t know yet?”

Wonwoo shrugged. “I liked my soulmate before I really knew them. They seemed interesting.” 

“That’s different!” 

“Is it?” Jun shrugged. “I haven’t known my soulmate for long, but I still liked them before we started talking. They seemed nice. You can have a good opinion of someone without knowing them intimately—”

“That’s not the point,” Soonyoung said. “You’re all trying to turn this into something it’s not. I just… I dunno. When I see them, I want to know them more. It’s like they just keep pulling my attention toward them.” He paused, chopsticks in hand as he looked up. “They keep looking at me, actually. It’s kinda funny. I think they might be into me, actually.”

Suddenly, all three of his friends exchanged a look. Soonyoung furrowed his brows. “What?”

And none of them would tell him their thoughts. When he pushed further later as they were leaving the restaurant, Jihoon just waved him off. 

“You’ll figure it out.” 

“Shit!”

Soonyoung looked up at the sound of your voice, soft enough that it didn’t catch everyone’s attention. Sungyoon withheld a chuckle as you glared at him a moment later, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the pair of you. You’d wrung out your hand, reaching for your desk drawer as you started to search through it for a highlighter. Soonyoung liked the fact that you always highlighted things in pretty colors—bright green so far, but he overheard you telling another coworker, Seungmin, that you liked to switch out colors every so often. It kept things fresh, and Soonyoung found that cute. Almost as cute as the novelty erasers that you kept on your desk to decorate it, never using them since you always used pens (save for the pencil you kept exclusively for the sticky notes you attached to your computer monitor). 

“It’s not funny,” you had hissed back at him. “This place has a bad static problem… Is the air dry to you? I think dry air makes static build-up likelier.”

“It’s just you.” Sungyoon watched you curiously, glancing over to see that Soonyoung had started watching, too. 

Soonyoung watched the way he slowly reached for a pad of sticky notes, jotting something out. Then he reached forward, attaching it to the top of your monitor. You swatted his hand away, eyes flickering over to see Soonyoung just as he turned his attention back to his own work. Yet the moment he was sure you were looking away, Soonyoung glanced over to see you pulling the sticky note off the monitor. How had he avoided you this long…? Something about getting too close to you made his chest all fluttery. Had he really started crushing on you so easily? Then again, you kinda did make it easy. You were cute in your own ways, and it made it hard to focus most days. Now all he could think about was what Sungyoon had written to you. 

He’d stretched himself over Vernon’s couch that night, playing with a little feather toy that his soulmate’s cat (Nutmeg, apparently) seemed to love. She pounced at it again, and Soonyoung had, yet again, been rambling about his work adventures. 

Vernon plucked another fry from Soonyoung’s leftovers. “Dude. Kinda sounds like there’s something there.” 

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung said. “Maybe I’m being silly. I should ask them out sometime, but they’re still new. It feels weird to do it so soon.” He paused, watching as Vernon slowly began to reach for another fry. “If you’re hungry, then eat. I’m fine.” 

With permission, Vernon immediately pulled over the rest of the leftover fries. “I mean it, dude. Why wait? You like them, they seem to like you, just go for it.” 

… Maybe he would.

But probably not today. Soonyoung had woken up late which, thankfully, wasn’t too bad considering he didn’t live too far from work. Jihoon had been in the kitchen, sliding over a plate of toast when Soonyoung booked it from the room.

“You have that meeting—”

“I know!” Soonyoung grabbed two slices. He’d shove them into his mouth on the run over. “I know—I set an alarm!”

Jihoon looked up, already annoyed, “I know. It woke me up.” 

He’d make it up to him later. He yelled back a casual “love you!” to Jihoon, who only groaned in response, and booked it to the stairs. No elevator today: the complex’s elevator sucked most days, and Soonyoung always reserved it for when he was coming home rather than heading to work. He’d pulled on the wrong pair of shoes considering he had a meeting today. He needed to look nice, and he did, mostly. These were the ones that were a little too broken in, having lost traction against the office floors, and they’d lost their shine a bit. Maybe no one would notice? Hopefully no one would notice. He didn’t need anyone making a comment… or you to think less of him. Were you the kind of person who cared about that kind of thing? He hoped not. As long as you were presentable, Soonyoung wouldn’t think any differently of you. 

He burst through the front doors of the building, yelling out to where you and Sungyoon had just boarded the elevators. He saw the way the two of you looked surprised, eyes wide and brows raised as Soonyoung booked it across the lobby while no one else seemed to think much of it. It was far from the first time this had happened, to be fair: it happened back when he was new, and it kept happening every so often since. Soonyoung, unfortunately for everyone else, was the kind of person who could be loud when he needed to be. Which was good for him, because Sungyoon had taken pity on him and held the elevator doors for him. Soonyoung’s hair was standing on end now. Fuck, when did the building have such a bad problem with dry air? 

Shit, fuck, the floors were against him today. In the split few seconds he had, he’d tried to yell for you to move aside so he could crash against the elevator walls, yet his brain seemed to have turned to pudding. He felt this subtle pull forward, which he once thought was gravity as he nearly tripped over the elevator threshold and into you.

Only for sparks to fly. Literally fly. Sungyoon had crumpled to the floor in pain, howling about ‘what the fuck was that?!’ while Soonyoung only felt this warmth wash over him. You’d been shoved against the elevator wall and were clutching the back of your head (shit, fuck, he’d check on you once his brain caught up to him). Wait.

Wait. Sparks flew. 

You…?

“Dude, what the fuck?” You’d pushed him away, hand still clutching the back of your head. 

Immediately, his brain had finally started fully functioning again. “Shit!” He stepped forward, trying to get a closer look at the back of your skull. No bleeding or visible bruising, but what did he know? “Are you okay? Did you get hurt? I’m sorry, I tried to stop, but—”

“What the fuck was that?!” Sungyoon was still on the elevator floor. The doors slid shut after a moment. 

Quietly, Soonyoung hit the button for the correct floor, just to get things moving. “I… I, uh…”

You stared at him, slowly connecting the dots. “Oh.”

“Did… Did it hurt you?” Soonyoung shyly asked, only to realize he’d been vague. “The sparks.”

You shook your head. “No. But—” You looked at Sungyoon. “Sungyoon, are you okay?”

“I’ll live,” he pulled himself back up. “Of course he’s your soulmate. No wonder you two wouldn’t stop staring at each other…”

Soonyoung had felt a pull toward you, but… He always thought that was infatuation fueling that feeling. There were so many things he’d already wanted to ask you, and yet it felt… weird to say them with Sungyoon there. Were you like him? Had you given up on soulmates even though you wanted one? Or did you not care that Soonyoung was your soulmate? Would you have still liked him if he wasn’t…? He felt like he would have liked you either way, but he would never know for sure now. Then again, maybe he could be okay with not having that answer. If he got to know you better, then he could be happy. Neither of you spoke for the ride up, and he could see Sungyoon debating stopping this elevator ride early to give the two of you space.

Thankfully, he didn’t. But he did book it off the elevator once the doors opened, leaving the two of you two step off together.

“So…” You were a little quieter than normal, never quite looking at Soonyoung for too long. “We’re soulmates.”

He nodded. “Is that okay?”

That earned your attention faster than anything else. “Of course that’s okay. Why wouldn’t that be okay?” 

“I just thought that…” You didn’t seem happy. Then again, he barely knew you.

You shook your head. “Just because I’m used to not having a soulmate doesn’t mean I’m not happy it’s you. I already thought you were cute, so…”

Soonyoung shyly smiled at you, hand brushing against your own. It was enough to get you to stop and face him. “I know we have a meeting soon, but… There’s a little place across the street we could go for lunch. It’ll be my treat, if you want—”

“I’d love to,” you smiled. “I’ll look forward to it, soulmate.”

Soonyoung watched you walk ahead of him, smiling to yourself. Suddenly, he felt a new sense of confidence wash over him as he watched you go. He’d only known you for so long,  but something told him that choosing you was going to be the easiest decision he’d ever made.

(And when he told Jihoon that night, he’d called Jun and Wonwoo immediately to send him the money he’d just won for betting that Soonyoung would figure it out sooner rather than later.)

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo

[littlelostmoon]

könig has a small titty gf ༢ೀ⊹

tags [boyfriend könig x fem reader] smut, mild hurt/comfort, established relationship, insecurities, biting, grinding, spit wc 950 [oneshot]

a/n first real post ♡

you weren’t stupid. you could tell how much könig adored your tits.

it started on your third date with him. it was a rather hot day and you swapped your usual sweater for a lace camisole, a detail that wouldn't go unnoticed. on several occasions he had to tear his eyes away from your chest with flushed cheeks.

you assumed he was inexperienced and his little infatuation would wear out with time. but, no— each time könig gets his hands on you, he’s overcome with desperation.

you’ve lost count of how many times he’s had you straddle his lap while you do something completely mundane (like chatting about your day). if you accidentally brush your chest against his, there’s a good chance you’ll feel the heat of his bulge growing against your thigh. “my fault, prinzessin…”

other times könig is shameless. stressful days on the field often wipe him of all decorum, so he’ll interrupt whatever you’re doing at home by pressing his frame against your back, large hands easily cupping your tits. it makes him breathe heavier in your ear. “missed me, schatz?”

needless to say, you were never insecure. that is, until you’re curled up in his bed, messing with his hair as he plays some shitty mobile kingdom game, phone absolutely tiny in his hands.

he’s had the app for months to de-stress (which is cute) but you haven’t truly sat and watched him play until tonight. all joy evaporates the moment you realize he can’t build new fortresses without watching a long ad— usually of some huge-breasted woman in historically inaccurate armor.

“verdammt ads,” he huffs.

“why don’t you just get the paid version?”

“waste of money.”

you couldn’t help yourself from prodding. “frugal. you like seeing them or something?”

he stares at you for a second before returning to his game, clicking around and updating his armor. “you puzzle me, schatz.”

"le'mme pay, then.”

he raised his brow as if you just suggested stealing from the homeless. "nein."

well, that whole interaction bruised your ego. the man had no problem buying you an overpriced coffee or taking the whole bill on dates, but couldn’t scrape up the cash (or let you scrape up the cash) to get anime tits off his screen? seriously?

you pull away from him and roll onto your side, facing the wall. after a few moments the ambient music from his phone shuts off. must be ready for bed. whatever. no cuddling tonight.

just as you reach a semblance of peace, your eyes snap open at the feeling of being manhandled onto your back. oof.

könig hovers close over you, knees on either side of yours. his raspy voice indicates he's lacking good sleep. “what do you think you’re doing?”

you shrug to the best of your ability. all of your space to breathe is occupied by him. there’s no real venom behind his words or how he handles you; he merely forgets his strength, especially under stress.

“could it be that mein häschen is jealous?”

you shake your head quickly, attempting to wriggle away. könig only braces himself firmer above you. your face grows hot— the scent of his aftershave is intoxicating, and his focused gaze doesn’t help.

“don’t lie to me.”

“fine,” you stutter, and everything flows out at once. “why wouldn’t i be? you don’t give a shit about spending money until it comes to the fucking advertisements of girls with their tits out."

the room is hit with intense silence. you can only hear the air conditioner buzzing and crickets and cars and it nearly drives you insane. he just looks down at you with an emotion you can’t pinpoint. is it disappointment?

no, könig knows you. despite the bite in your tone, he probably understands that you're seeking reassurance. or, that's what you hope. never been on your boyfriend's bad side.

finally, he moves, lips resting dangerously close to your neck. you can feel a breathy chuckle fan across the length of it, pulling you from your thoughts. “want to know what i think, prinzessin?”

you nod nervously still, but the pang of jealousy is wilting and blooming into something exciting.

“you are what is worth money to me.” he then coaxes your inner thighs apart and settles his hips between them, voice coming out strained. butterflies circle low in your stomach when you realize what he wants to do.

“könig…”

“don’t even notice other girls, just want you, always thinking of you, häschen…” his accent is thicker, now. he’s evidently hard as a fucking rock, huge, and it rests right between your legs.

you squirm as he holds your pliant hips, grinding crudely against the wet spot in your panties. you’re dizzy from the feeling, slumped back against the mattress and taking whatever he gives you.

for just a second you miss his hands on you before he pushes your bralette up, exposing your tits to his (now fully blown out) eyes. calloused fingers brush against your nipple and you swear it makes his cock twitch in his boxers.

könig’s free hand finds one of yours, much smaller, and pins it above your head. he grunts at how tight you squeeze when his breath ghosts across your chest, mouthing each of your nipples until they’re slick with his spit.

he might be drooling. you might be, too. you don’t care. 

“pretty, perfect girl…” he says it all with his mouth full, panting, hands splayed across your ribs while he bites and sucks little marks all over. he then passes his tongue in neat sweeps over each bruise, attempting to soothe the pain— but you both know your tits will be sore for a week.

soft noises spill from your lips but the daze of arousal has you practically incapable of being shy.

you assume the same is true for him. he's rambling at this point, vocal as ever, shifting your hips up to tug your panties. “get these off before i cum early and have us both soaked, engel. wanna feel it in your stomach."

[riddleriddles]

ෆ i should hate you

ෆ theodore theo nott x reader (without a specific house)

ෆ summary: The one in which theodore pushes you away but you can’t lose your feelings for him.

ෆ warnings: google english, angst (im not really good at it)

ෆ notes: I think this also goes a lot with CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS from ts, but i guess im going to make another one for this song, and also i just found out that im the worst for dialogues, just like in real life

𖦹

It was late August when theo decided that you were too much for him, that he decided that your relationship could not continue when you deserved more than he had to offer. So, after a few weeks distancing himself from you and letting his own mind erase the good memories and being corrupted with insecurities, he asked you in a note in a shared class of potions.

“Astronomy tower at 10 after dinner?” It was what it said on the piece of parchment, I didn’t need a signature for you to know who it was.

As the astronomy tower was a place of yours, where you spent time and time lying together, admiring the stars, the constellations and only the presence of each other, you didn’t think much about it, went up to the astronomy tower after dinner, where you found the familiar figure of your boyfriend.

There he was, leaning against one of the iron handrails, his half wavy hair with some natural blonde lights falling on his face making a light shadow in his eyes, he does not look up when he hears steps approaching.

“Hi theo...” you whisper softly, leaning next to him on the handrail, looking into his eyes while his gaze avoids finding yours, he has an blank and distant face, if maybe you paid more attention, you could see the guilt he felt for doing what he was doing.

With these last weeks that he has pushed you away you can’t help but wonder if something had happened, maybe something happened to his father, maybe it’s the tests that are approaching, or he may just be quiet these days, by the way, it’s theo, he likes his own space sometimes, you thought. You and Theo loved each other very much, you loved him, and you thought he loved you too, so the breakup didn’t even cross your mind when he sent you that piece of parchment.

“Hi...” he says, a low and hoarse tone, as if he hadn’t spoken for some time, his eyes never found yours.

Theo felt his own stomach turn with anxiety, he couldn’t let it shine through, you knew him so well that he knew that any misstep you would find out that something was wrong.

After some time, in a comfortable silence from his point of view and almost deafening in theo's, he said the words he spent so much time rehearsing on his own head.

“I think we should break up.”

The words hit you right, you even thought you could have heard wrong, no, you had certainly heard it wrong, theo didn’t want to break up, he loved you, and you hadn’t done anything wrong.

“What...?” You whispered almost inaudible, discredited that you had even heard that phrase, but when he didn’t answer and turned his head to the opposite side of your face, to avoid your look, you knew you heard it right and then you realized that your relationship was over.

“I don’t think we should keep going... I...” he whispered, feeling a ball of guilt forming at the tip of his own stomach, he couldn’t look into your eyes, he couldn’t risk giving up and telling you the truth. “I don’t think it’s going to work.”

Theo can feel your gaze on him, begging him for a reason, maybe for a laugh explaining the dull joke, he knew you wouldn’t let him go without him really hurting you.

“I don’t feel the same for you anymore, you should go..”

You stepped back, suddenly all the words had disappeared from your mind, not knowing how to act or what to say, you were never very confrontational, suddenly your love is no longer there, feeling the emotions so strong hitting at once, leaving you embarrassed in front of him, when he couldn’t even look into your eyes, you left the astronomy tower as quickly as possible.

The next few weeks were difficult, spent with ice cream, romantic comedies and a lot of tears, especially when you needed to see him in the halls, and sitting on the other side of the classroom, so to avoid him, you started to avoid meals together, delaying your own routine just not having to face him, you started to go down later to the great hall at breakfast and dinner time, when he had already left, avoiding the same halls and especially the places that were previously marked as your places, such as the astronomy tower, for example.

You waited for time to heal you but it wasn’t quite like that, the only thing you could do was disguise your emotions, pretending to forget the moments together, and then went back to the meals at the right times and almost didn’t look for him in the halls anymore, or did it discreetly.

Theo was getting worse and worse, whenever he saw you avoiding passing by his side in the corridors his heart sank and the guilt hit him all over again, and thinking it couldn’t get worse, he literally wanted to be buried alive when he realized that you were forgetting about him, that you didn’t even care about passing next to him anymore, that you didn’t even realize that you had passed next to him.

“You should talk to her, she likes you and I’m sure you deserve to be together...” said theo’s friend, blaise, while they were sitting in the communal room, for him theo was visibly downcast and it’s been a while since he saw the friend so melancholic it didn’t make sense for him to break up with you to be crying in the corners, theo didn’t use to open up to many people, but he trusted blaise enough to let him know what was bothering him. “you’re keeping her and yourself away from the one you love, that’s not fair.”

Theo thought too much about his friend’s words, but he never felt brave enough to come back to you and tell you the truth, he thought you had already given up on him and that it was better that way.

But he was pulling his own limits, and could no longer bury his own feelings when he was sitting on a bench in the courtyard accompanied by his friends, and from afar he heard your laugh, maybe it was the desire he felt to hear your voice again that made him realize the laughter among the other sounds of the place.

He turned his head abruptly in the direction just to wish he hadn’t turned when he saw you accompanied by another boy, a gryffindor boy, passing by while you put a lock of hair behind your ear and laughed at something that the blonde in red and black robes said.

Theodore felt the jealousy invade him, who did this gryffindor think was supposed to make you laugh like that? Did he think he deserved your smiles? Who did he think it was to at least get close to his girlfriend? he thought, but you were no longer his girlfriend, he had broken up with you and had hurt you, so now you probably wanted to be there, walking with that other boy and there is nothing he could do about it.

Watching you bend the corridors and get out of his sight he felt that the right thing was to let you go, he couldn’t be so selfish to the point of holding you up with him, when you deserved much more than he had, but he wasn’t ready, he couldn’t, he didn’t have the courage he thought he would have, he wanted to be selfish, no matter how too good you were for him, he wanted to keep you around and never push you away again, he wanted to intertwine your fingers and never see you cry again, much less for himself like that night, stupid, it was what he was, that’s how he saw himself now, a fool for thinking he could see you moving forward and it was the purest foolishness to think that he could move on himself.

So he finally decided to listen to his friends and go after you, without warning anyone he got up from the bank quickly,his friends looked at him curious, but used to theo’s behavior, they just shrugged.

Theodore followed in your footsteps and bent the corridor to find you this time alone caressing an orange kitten while he saw a little far away the gryffindor with his back distancing himself, he approached shyly, with his hands in his pocket and without making any noise.

You just realized that you were in the presence of someone when you looked at the shoes stopping by your side and recognized them as your ex-boyfriend’s, feeling your throat dry your hand fell from the kitten who was upset by the lack of affection and came down from where it was leaving you and him alone, it took you a few more seconds thinking until you raised your head slowly to look at him.

“Nott.” you said shy trying to sound firm, your gaze deviating from his, it was difficult to see him so close after so long, you wanted to hate him so much, you really wanted to push and yell at him, ask why he had done that, what you had done wrong for him not to love you anymore and he felt a bitter taste in his mouth when he heard his own surname come out of his lips, feeling as if that name did not belong to him, you should call him theo, my love, dear, that didn’t feel right.

“Don’t call me that...” he asked, his voice was distant but he still missed and sad, but it wasn’t enough for you to realize, you made fun of his words and crossed your arms.

“What do you want?” You asked firmly but still avoiding his gaze, you took a step back by moving away from him, he clenched his jaw to the sign of your rejection his heart sink again, the feeling becoming familiar.

“I want to... apologize, for that night...” he said in a low tone, looking at his own feet as if he felt guilty and ashamed, that’s certainly not what you expected, coming out of the defensive mode you lowered your arms.

“Apologize?”

“I was an idiot, I pushed you away for a stupid reason” he was visibly sorry, he took a step towards your, you don’t back down this time.

“yes, you were really an idiot,” you said and crossed your arms again, your eyes went up to look at theirs, he couldn’t stand it, your glassy eyes looking back at him, he just wanted to crush his own lips against yours. “were you lying that night? When did you say you didn’t love me anymore?”

“i was” he admitted quickly with a positive nod. “it was a lie, it was all a lie, I think I let my insecurities speak louder and I ended up thinking that the best idea was to push you away, i’m sorry.”

Suddenly, the nights you spent crying no longer made sense, you felt angry with him for push you away, and thinking that if you knew you would have done everything to prove to him that he was the one who deserved the whole world.

“Do you know how stupid you are!? I thought I had done something wrong!” you exclaimed getting closer to him, he held your face with both hands as if he were going to kiss you, you felt your eyes filling with tears of frustration and he could see them being formed in the corner of your eyes, mentally cursing himself for making you cry again.

“I know! I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m just me and you’re so... everything, and you deserve everything, and I thought maybe I could let you go for it, but I can’t, I see it now, I promise I’ll do everything to give you what you deserve, I promise, please bella, forgive me.”

A single tear fell down your cheek with the statement, a few seconds in silence was enough for you to think, no matter how frustrated you were with him, the desire to love him again was always stronger.

“You’re dumb.” you said quietly, he nodded.

You held his face pulling him down and finally crushed his lips on yours, he squeezed his eyes and let his hand out of your face, now it was in the air and he didn’t know where to put it, the kiss that overflowed the longing and love you felt for each other, it was calm and slow, no hurry after spending so much time waiting, his hand finally fell to your waist, fitting perfectly, he remembered that.

then you pushed your lips away, he still brushed his own lip on yours as if he were silently asking for more, you smiled against his lips when you realized it.

“Never push me away like this again, I love you and you are more than I could ask for”

[forthevillains]

Careful who you marry

Albert Wesker X fem! Reader

(I just love the idea of Wesker going soft, but also panicking after finding someone who genuinely cares for him)

Albert Wesker, the man people fear, the man responsible for countless of deaths, the cold blooded bioterrorist known to the world as pure evil. Though what if he had a cute little wife to hide? What if all that facade would go away the second he gets home and sees his precious darling.

Wesker isn’t the one to make his emotions clear, he’s not the one to love and on top of that, he thought that he wasn’t able to feel any emotion at all. He was never loved by anyone nor has he ever felt the emotion towards another human being. All he’s ever had was his sister and William Birkin, his only friend.

That though, changed once he met you. You, his loving wife, you who always listened to him, no matter what it was, no matter that you barely understood a word he was saying. You who always saw the better in him, the good side that no one thought existed at all. He was living his life, worried about the new world, worried about survival of his test subjects, worried about the future… But once you came in - he was suddenly worried of disappointing you much more.

You may have fallen for him first, but he definitely fell a lot harder. It was difficult for him, dealing with the sudden emotions, not knowing what is he to do, how to handle such situation. He would ignore you at first, distance himself even, wanting nothing more than to get rid off you and that addicting voice of yours that stayed in his head for days after talking to you.

That poor guy… Of course you didn’t leave. You insisted on being by his side, he was just a helpless soul, abandoned and left to die alone. It was difficult to keep up with him, especially for you, someone who’s still young, inexperienced, with the whole life ahead of you, but you managed it anyway.

Wesker loved you dearly, wanting nothing more than to protect you from the corrupted world, from the terror, from all the people that wanted him dead. Your innocence was something he promised himself to keep for you. He would never forgive himself if he ruined your life, he would never forgive himself if you hated to be by his side, if you hated him. Never in his life has he been this way and there’s still a part of him that is unsure of the decision, but whenever he thinks of a life without you - he realizes that he’d be better off dead.

On the other hand, he really tries for you, he’d even go as far as to tell you that he loves you, though it sure took a lot of time for him to find the nerves to say it out loud. And when he says it - he means it. Albert would surely spoil you, making up for all the time you have to spend alone, basically locked up while he works so that no one could hurt you. Whatever you want is yours, no matter how much it costs - he’s gonna buy it for you. When he comes to you by the midnight only to find you awake and waiting for him, there’s a small smile tugging at his lips at the realization of how much you missed him. He makes sure to wrap his arms around you tightly, planting small kisses in your hair as he squeezes your small form gently. You’ve created a home for him, something he loves to come back to at the end of the day. You’ve become his comfort, something he wasn’t used to and didn’t know he needed.

If Chris was about to find out about you, he’d be marked as dead. Immediately. Albert would be too concerned about losing you, about Chris telling you all about their past, about the terrible things he’s done and he can’t let that happen. No matter the good intentions he’s created in his own mind, he knows that you wouldn’t understand. And he can’t risk scaring you off now that the two of you have come this far. You’re stuck with him, loved by only him, protected from all the world’s wrongs, while your loving husband gets more and more blood on his hands just for you. It’s love after all isn’t it? A true husband would kill for his wife, right? He isn’t doing anything wrong… Though he’ll keep it away from you anyway, just in case. He tries so hard for you it’s making him look crazy:(

Just hope that you won’t want to get away from him, because he’s not letting you go, not after all he’s done for you, he’s gonna make sure of it.

[rukkiya]

take it back

(al haitham x reader, zhongli x reader (separate). they take off their wedding bands during an argument)

al haitham ｡･ﾟﾟ･

“Drop it, this doesn’t concern you.” He states flatly, not even glancing your way.

“Doesn’t concern me?! What’re you saying? All I’m asking is if you’ve gotten any rest! Since you’ve become Grand Sage I haven’t even seen you home for who knows how long!” You follow behind him as he walks away.

“Stop it.” He exhales, his lack of sleep and the stress was piling up, even for someone as tame and collected as Al Haitham this was getting to be a bit much for him.

“If you need a break take one! Not for anyone else but yourself Haitham come on! Please look at yourself, you're going to wear yourself out in no time!” You plead, voice slightly rising at his dismissive attitude. His legs come to a halt making you stop a few feet behind.

“Get off my case already, you’re being a bother.” His hands move faster than his brain registers, his fingers ghosting over his ring finger without another thought.

“I’m not the one that needs to look in the mirror, have you taken a good look at yourself?” He spits out turning hot on his heels, eyes narrowing at you.

You only gulp, feeling whiplash by his words and sudden outburst. You hadn’t expected him to act like this. You know how drained he really is and try to shove what he just said to the side but the look in his eyes made you think otherwise.

“This job was appointed to me specifically so it’s my duty to uphold it to the best of my ability. My job is of more importance than you’ll ever be anyways. With your lack of knowledge of course I don’t expect you to understand. I suggest you leave if you truly can’t handle it.” The ring he took off slipped from his fingertips as he threw it your direction making time freeze for you both as he did so.

He truly has no logical explanation as to why he did such a thing, can’t wrap his own mind around what he’s said or done until he sees your expression drop from angry to sad in seconds.

His ring finger now felt oddly cold without the silver band hugging it. The sound of the ring hitting the floor was way too loud in the now dead quiet house.

Your voice was no longer ringing in his ears, the only thing he heard now was his heart rapidly beating in his chest, what has he done?

You stand there letting it sink in. You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt again but taking his ring off and throwing it at your face was something else entirely. Your angry expression was nowhere seen as you felt your heart drop along with the ring he carelessly tossed your way.

You couldn't bring yourself to move from where you stood, nor did he. Seeing how this was his reaction to you getting on his case about taking better care of himself it shows how truly annoyed he’s grown of you. How much of a bother you’ve become. Exactly what you were afraid of what would happen.

“Y/n I-“

The things he just said ring loud in your ears as you hesitantly step forward not hearing him call you just now.

You bring your hand to your ring finger, slipping off the matching one you wore. Now both rings were in your hand making Al Haitham’s eyes widen.

What has he done?

He moves forward. Long legs striding up to you in seconds. He couldn’t stand it. The sight of your ring finger bare or his own, he needed to say something! Anything!

“No, don't do that. Please.” He pleads, warm hands reaching for your smaller ones only to see yours retract from his making his breath hitch. What has he done?

The two delicate rings now in your palm, both of your hearts and vows in the palm of your hands. Seeing him take it off without a second thought made you rethink what he told you the day you got married. Was your caring really enough to drive him mad, to want to push you away this much?

Al Haitham was never one to act out on emotion, always calm and collected, cool headed, but seeing him react in such a way made you realize just how much of you he truly couldn’t take anymore. He wouldn’t have reacted that way if you weren’t so goddamn overbearing.

You hesitate but extend your arm out, hand hovering over his.

His own reach out in an instant but he regrets doing so the second you place both rings on his palm now. The weight of his actions dawned on him and the logical solutions he’s always so good at coming up with were nowhere useful at the moment.

His usually unamused face was now painted with worry as fear struck him in his gut.

“I understand, I’m sorry. It was out of line of me to say that.” You clear your throat. It’s all you can say, but what else were you supposed to say? You were embarrassed, ashamed. You annoyed him so much to the point he didn’t think twice about taking off his wedding band. Only having it thrown at your face was more than enough to signal that he's grown far from annoyed with your presence.

“Wait, no don't do this. Y/N it’s not-“

“You’re right, your job is of much more importance. I’ll take my leave.” You move away from him as he reaches out again. You wanted to get out of there, not wanting to stand in the same room as him for another second, it was too much right now. You both clearly needed to clear your minds. Though even after you both do, how will things be afterwards?

zhongli ･ﾟﾟ･｡

The once fearless god now residing in Liyue harbor, taking it a day at a time. He’s learned to take things a day at a time and enjoy what he has while he has it. In the past he was shown just how quickly things can be taken away if taken for granted.

He was skeptical of letting anyone get too close as he's seen far too many of his loved ones pass on before his eyes, knowing just how fragile and weak mortals truly are. You however were selfless, always putting others safety before our own and he couldn't stand it. Though he had already fallen for you long before and you both vowed to love each other till death do you part he promised himself that he'd take care of your reckless self for as long as he can to keep you with him for as long as celestia would allow.

Tough, when your expedition team came back with you on a stretcher the sad reality was thrown in his face again, but he bit his tongue knowing just how stubborn you can be about protecting others.

Your injuries were not major but enough to leave you bedridden for a few days. Deep cuts and bruising littler your skin from you carelessly throwing yourself in front of falling debris to protect one of your expedition buddies. Zhongli can't help but let his mind wander to darker places every time you get hurt. He can't help but think of the worst, always fearing he'd lose you for good everytime you leave.

“Come on, it really isn't so bad! I'm serious, I’m all better, see!” You give him your best smile, outstretching your arms to show him your now smaller bruises.

He looks away from your arms, jaw clenching as he remembers how badly it was when you first arrived. Your legs looked even worse yet you weren’t even complaining about the pain he knew you definitely felt.

“The doctor said you’re not to leave until another two weeks. You should still be bedridden so please stop talking about such things and get some proper rest.” His fingers pinch the bridge of his nose as he tells you this for the hundredth time. He understands your love for being out and helping others but he can’t understand why you’d want to risk getting more hurt than you already are.

“Enough resting for me, I've been here for too long already. I can be doing something right now instead of wasting my time sitting here doing nothing!” You try to reason. You were going mad as more days passed by. You felt good enough to go out again, sitting in bed all day wasn't going to ease your racing mind anyways. Going out always helps take your mind off yourself and focus on more important matters.Giving others a helping hand instead of letting your mind think too much. Having Zhongli stay home a few days helped but you felt like a bother for having him take care of you for so long already.

His pointer finger and thumb fidget with the wedding band on his ring finger to distract himself from losing his composure in front of you. It was the only thing he could do other than bite his tongue and going off on you, telling you your selfish and foolish to even bring it up ‘getting back out there’ this early but you weren’t letting up, you kept bringing it up over and over and flashes of your beaten body were flashing though his mind until he spiraled thinking the worst.

“Listen, from now on I'll be more careful.” you sigh, feeling bad seeing his eyebrows crease knowing it's stressing him out.

“But you have to understand, if I get hurt I'll be ok. I just can't let others get hurt in front of me. If I can prevent that then at any cost I will.” You explain, seeing his shoulders tense up.

A loud scraping sound cut you off as the chair he was sitting on was pushed back in an instant.

“How careless could you be? Can't you see that I was worried sick yet you say such things? Have you any idea how much this affects me too!? I can't stand seeing you beaten and bruised yet you are all the time!” his voice gets higher as he talks, you didn't dare speak, having never heard his voice go any higher than how he normally speaks.

“I'm not doing it on purpose. Love, I don't mean to cause you distress its just-”

The band on his finger snapped, two halves falling onto the floor as you tried to tell him once again how it wasn't a big deal. But he couldn't take it. “I've heard enough of your excuses, if you truly feel as if your life means nothing then i'll see it the same way from now on too.” He sighs and you feel your throat go dry.

“I'm not making excuses, I don't see it like that. Zhongli, I don't want you to leave me- its- it's just that I-” you stutter as he kneels down to the broken pieces on the floor. You've done it now, your carelessness always gets you into trouble one way or another. You didn't mean it like that, to say you didn't care about his feelings of concerns but you just didn't phrase it right.

Of course you care, you think of him everytime you leave and pray you'll be back to see him another day. Having him leave you scared you like no other, you didn't want to be alone. So hearing him say that right now set a familiar feeling in your chest, you were going to be left all alone once again.

“Zhongli, listen please. I want you to stay! I want to stay with you and have us grow old together. I don't want to get injured badly and put stress or worry on you nor do I wish for an early death upon myself. I just want to help others, and be with you! I know I'm reckless but you've known that since we've met. I'm sorry, I know I'm a headache to be around but I can't stand seeing others hurt. If I can prevent that I will. But I need you here, I need you by my side. I can't stand being alone.” You explain, throwing your heavy legs over the side of your bed as he placed the broken ring by your bedside table.

“Yes, I've known that since before I married you Y/n but you're right, I guess you've become too much even for me to handle now.” He places the ring beside you and you stand up on wobbly legs.

Almost falling over he gives you a hand and steadies you. Seeing you already on the brink of tears hurt him physically but he needed a breather, to clear his mind.

“Please no, dont leave me alone” You whisper, hands slightly tightening around his forearm to keep him from moving.

He has to hold himself back from wrapping his arms around you, saying he'd stay but he can't continue to watch you hurt yourself. Insead he offers you his comforting smile and nods his head. “In due time i'll be back, but until then you need to realize just how important your life is before anything else my love.” He whispers, placing a featherlite kiss on top of your head before turning around. You grip him a bit more but he slowly pulls back. You don't fight it though. If he truly couldn't stand this anymore you didn't blame him, so you let him go without uttering another word.

He doesn't let himself turn around because he knows he won't leave if he sees your crying. You don't stop him either, not wanting to hold him back and cause him more distress than you already have. He hears you crying by the time he closes the door behind him and he promises himself he'd come back. You may not want him by the time, you may resent him for doing this but he'd still love you and care no matter what because as much worry and pain you gave him from your selflessness he wouldnt replace you for anyone else nor take back the time hes spent with you.

______________

authors note: hello hehehe :3 MY LOVES THANK YOU ALL SM FOR 1,000-PLEASE!!!! (｡´ ‿｀♡) I had planned to post another oneshot but I ended up writing this one while writing the other one lol ( that one will be up soon!) but it’s my first time writing for zhongli! ive had this idea sitting in my mind for months GOSH FINALLY I WRITE IT!!but had a hard time deciding who to write it for lol so I chose these two handsome men! this is my second multi post again ( idk if I should even call it that it’s only two lol) it’s not edited so apologies for any errors but besides that, I do hope you all enjoy, remember to drink water and take care ok! ^~^<333

[dindjarindiaries]

In Sickness & In Health

summary: Din does his best to comfort you when you become anxious about your health.

pairing: din djarin (the mandalorian) x reader

tags: fluff and angst, health anxiety/hypochondria, fear of death, emotional hurt/comfort

note: This one’s for all my health anxiety girlies (gender neutral) out there. Enjoy your catharsis ;)

rating: T

word count: 2.336k

main masterlist • din djarin masterlist

Seeing the N-1 outside the cabin on your trek home from the hangar was almost enough to make your knees buckle underneath you in relief—or maybe that was just another side effect of the mysterious condition that had been making you feel lightheaded all day. Either way, at least one thought triumphed over all the others, if only for a moment: I made it home, and so did he.

You picked up your already quick pace to get to the door, unlocking it with your access key and letting it slide open for you. The anxious aura swimming at the edges of your vision tried to make you forget all about Din’s homecoming, but your own excitement and relief upon having him home dispelled those thoughts for the time being. You spotted Din walking out of your bedroom and headed straight for him, not bothering to drop your rucksack on the way.

“You’re home.” Your voice was merely a breath as you all but fell against him, your arms wrapping around him and your cheek resting against his tunic-covered chest. “I thought you wouldn’t be back for another couple of days.”

“I expedited our trip.” Din’s unfiltered voice was full of warmth as his hand rose to the back of your head.

You closed your eyes, both to savor the moment and to fight a new wave of anxiety as a lightheaded rush ran over you again. “Why?”

Din’s smile was audible as he answered. “You know why.”

That at least got you to smile with him. “I’m guessing Grogu’s asleep.”

Din huffed at that, the sound rumbling in his chest underneath your ear. “Yes.” You made no move to pull away, and so Din kept you close. “How’s work been?”

The first thing that came to mind was today’s incident, which had you working on a ship’s fuel leak without your mask properly hooked up. The lightheadedness began after you made that realization. Instead, you decided not to burden him and forced another smile on your lips. “It’s been good. Just the usual.”

“Good.” Din still made no move to urge you away, even as he went on. “If you want to wash up, I can throw dinner together.”

You finally raised your head and truly faced Din for the first time since coming home. His hair was damp, as if he’d just finished washing up himself, and his gaze started to search yours the moment you started your own observation of him. “That would be great.”

“All right.” Din gently held your face to press a kiss to your forehead. Your tight chest warmed at the action, making your heart skip a beat in a way that would normally have you laughing, but instead filled you with more anxiety. “Is there anything specific you want?”

You shook your head. “No, thank you.” Your voice was quieter than you wanted it to be.

Din’s brow wrinkled together as his hands continued to hold your face. His gaze gave you a once-over. “Are you okay?”

You knew better than to lie to Din, but the last thing you wanted to do was spoil a reunion the two of you had been looking forward to. “Yeah! Just tired. It was busy today.”

Din nodded at that. “Well, I have no qualms about getting in bed early.” He gestured with his head to the kitchen. “So long as you eat something first.”

You returned his nod, smiling as you stepped away from him. The farther away you got from him, the worse your presumed condition became, the anxious aura returning to your gaze and fogging up your sweet surroundings in the cruelest way. It almost made you spin on your heel to run and tell him the truth, but your own stubbornness kept you from doing so.

Din had bore enough of your worried burdens about your health. You were just overreacting, as always. It was all in your head.

But the symptoms all felt so real.

It worsened under the water of the refresher. The steam clogged your lungs and made it harder for your tightening chest to breathe. You were certain that each new breath was wheezier than the last, as if the fumes from the fuel were at last taking their toll. In one moment, you’d be chastising yourself for not double-checking your mask earlier, and in the next, you’d be preparing for the worst.

What would Din do if something happened to you? What about Grogu? What if it happened while they were away, and that’s what they had to return to?

No. They were home. You were home. None of this was real, it was just your anxiety. But that still wasn’t enough rationale to make your tightened chest and lightheadedness disappear, nor did it help the trembling in your hands.

The steam of the water motivated you to work quickly, and soon, you were out of the refresher in record time. You dressed and walked out of your bedroom to see Din finishing up with dinner, though you didn't have the heart to admit your appetite vanished long ago. Din caught your eye with a smile, though the wrinkle in his brow returned the closer you got to him.

Din kept your plate on the counter and you assumed your normal position, jumping up onto the counter to sit while he kept standing. You picked up your plate and held it in your lap, at least giving the illusion of hunger as you thought through every word you want to confess.

“This looks amazing.” Your statement was truthful, no matter what your stomach might've been trying to tell you. “Thank you, Din.”

“No need.” Din forked his first bite, but didn't eat it, his intense gaze instead focused on yours as he raised his brow. “What’s on your mind?”

You couldn't resist that look of his. There was no point in trying to. You forced out a chuckle, hoping it was genuine, and stared at your plate as you also forked your first bite. “Nothing serious.” You took your bite and ate it, hoping to further convince him of your lie. After you finished chewing, you went on. “I just…” you pointed your fork at him, “did you ever fix a fuel leak on the Crest without your helmet?”

Din’s brow wrinkled again as he ate his bite and considered your words. Once he was ready, he spoke in a cautious tone. “No. I couldn’t be sure I was truly alone in any hangar or landing zone.”

Oh. Well, there went any chance of reassurance. “Oh, yeah. That makes sense.” You forced another bite down your throat.

Din’s next question was as gentle as the hand he set upon your thigh. “Why?”

You began to get flustered, both from trying to maintain your own lie and from Din’s touch. “Well, I just kinda did that today.” You shrugged, avoiding Din’s gaze at all cost. It would only make you tell the full truth, and you were trying your best to weasel away from giving him another reason to worry about you—or foster frustration towards you. “I fixed a fuel leak, but realized after that my mask wasn’t on right.” You dismissed your words with a wave of your fork. “But I’m sure it’s fine.”

Din remained silent, but his actions spoke for him, as they often did. He set his plate down and took your chin in one hand, his gaze giving you a once-over just like before as he circled his jaw in hardly concealed concern. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “Nothing, Din, I promise. I’m just overthinking it, I’m sure.”

Din pointed with his free hand at your own. “Your hand’s been shaking every time you’ve lifted your fork.”

You shrugged and began to play with the metal utensil in your hand. “It’s because I’m overthinking.”

Din’s gaze flickered to your chest for a moment. He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not breathing normally, either.”

You instantly tensed with worry at his words. “Is it that bad?” You’d thought most of that was in your own head.

Din shook his head to reassure you. “No, cyar’ika. I just know you.”

He eased his hand down from your chin to take your plate for you, setting it aside with his own. Din was just as gentle in setting his hands on your knees to make room for himself, bringing his face closer to your own as he held it between both his hands and observed you up close.

“Now, please tell me what you’ve been feeling since the fuel leak.” Din nodded at you, his gaze never once straying from your own. “I want to help you.”

You set your hands on your thighs, watching as you kneaded your skin. “Well, I didn’t feel anything until I realized I had my mask on wrong, so…” you laughed lamely, “I know it’s all in my head.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Din’s thumbs ran over your cheeks for comfort. “You’re still feeling something now. I’d like to focus on that, if that’s all right.”

You couldn’t help smiling at his sweetness. “Of course. I’ve just been a little shaky, and a little… out of it, I guess. Lightheaded almost. I was scared I was gonna pass out on the way here.”

Din’s brow wrinkled again at that. “I would’ve come to meet you if you commed me.”

“I didn’t know you were home. Plus, I didn’t want to bother you.” Din parted his lips to speak, but you put a finger over them, stopping him as you went on. “I know you want to help, Din, but I do this all the time, and I don’t like making you deal with my anxiety. I know I’ll make it home. I know I’ll be fine. I just… I choose to dwell on that small chance I won’t be okay.”

Din remained silent even as your finger fell away from his lips, a gentle invitation to go on.

“All I can think about is what it’ll be like for you and Grogu if something does happen to me.” Your voice trembled, though your composure remained. “You’d be devastated. I’d never want to do something like that to you. And in this situation, I could’ve avoided it just by double checking my mask before working.” You shook your head, your shoulders rising and falling in your first deep breath of the day. “I’ll be fine. I always am.”

Din waited to see if you were done. When you gave him a small nod, he began to speak. “I promise you with everything I am that I will never let something happen to you.” Din nodded to prove his severity to you. “So long as you’re honest with me about what you’re feeling, whether you think it’s anxiety or not, I’ll gladly take every step with you to ensure you’re okay.”

You grabbed his wrists to ground yourself, nodding to show him you understood.

“It’s not a burden. This is what we vowed to do for one another.” Din was even able to offer you one of his sweetest smiles. “‘In sickness and in health.’ Right?”

You chuckled and nodded. “Right.”

The corner of Din’s mouth was raised higher than the other. “This counts.”

You looked at your own forehead the best you could. “Even if it’s in here?”

Din’s brow furrowed in severity. “Especially if it’s in there.” He pressed his forehead against yours. “Your mind is my own.” He blinks a few times and rushes to clarify. “Only if you’re all right with that.”

You smile to reassure him. “I am.” You giggled and shrugged. “I’ve got nothing to hide at this point.”

Din’s worried expression melted into a sweet smile of his own. “Good.” He leans away to kiss your forehead, just like before. “Thank you for trusting me. Your mind is beautiful.” Din’s gaze gives you a once-over, but this time, it’s less worried. “So is your body.” He offers one more dutiful nod. “I’ll help you keep them safe.”

You grinned from ear-to-ear at his genuine sweetness. “Thank you, Din.”

Din’s hands held the sides of your neck as he gently kept you close. “Like I said before. No need.”

Your smile became more mischievous as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “So, you think my body is beautiful?”

Din’s jaw flexed as he looked at the plates on the counter beside you. “There’s… a lot more I could say.” He removed his hands from you to give your plate back to you. “But there’s a different hunger I need you to satisfy first.” The worried knit returned to his brow as he set his hand back on your thigh. “Especially if you’re not feeling well.”

You ate a bite you were finally hungry for. “Trust me.” You swallowed and nodded at him. “I feel much better now.”

Din picked up his own plate as he returned your nod. “Good.” He gave you one more once-over as he took the time to bite and chew his food. “Then let’s eat quickly.”

You laughed and leaned forward, seeking just one kiss from him before complying with his gentle command. It, of course, should’ve been no wonder to you that Din would calm your worries, but it was somehow more than that. Din had accepted you for everything you were, even the bad thoughts that sometimes consumed you.

And that, somehow, meant even more than him calling you beautiful, which you knew he would proceed to do many more times that night and beyond.

main masterlist • din djarin masterlist

[johnnysuhbmarine]

Just Add Alcohol...you know, the Antiseptic Kind

Pairing: Jeno x reader Description: After getting into another fist fight, !best friend Jeno ends up back at your place for help, but you’re about at your limit of how much you can stand to see him like this before saying something about it. The only problem is, you still haven’t found a way to address it without bringing up your feelings.  Word count: 1,508 A/n: first fic :') wrote this sometime last year and I think it's the best out of my completed one shots, so now I'm sharing it with the world (that's you). shout out to @fullsunstrawberry for convincing me I wouldn’t die if I actually posted my writing <3333 please enjoy, or don’t…I can’t tell you what to do, but feedback would be GREATLY appreciated :) 

You squeeze the excess water out of the rag before stomping back over to where Jeno laid on the couch. Your heavy, rhythmic breath is the only sound to fill the tense silence between the two of you as you press the towel up towards his eyebrow, covering a freshly split-open patch of skin. The action provokes the usual wince in pain from Jeno, but you don’t say ‘sorry’ this time, instead just clenching your jaw.

It was routine at this point. Jeno would knock on your door barely able to hold himself up, you would help him to the couch, or on days where he was particularly bloody, you’d have him sit on your bathroom counter and just pray he even had the strength to make it all the way there. Then, you’d get to work on cleaning him up, because you always clean him up, from his fights on the playground in primary school to now, when some kind of fate lets the two of you reconnect after you moved away before high school only to end up at the same college. It was two years ago when you immediately recognized the crescent-eyed smile of the boy sitting at a table you passed on your walk to class. You froze in the middle of the science building, sure you were crazy, but it only took a second before he came up and grabbed your wrist to spin you around. “I knew that was you.” He stated in relief as he pulled you into a hug that you fell right into, just as you always had. Your best friend status seemed to stick through all those years apart, as had his fighting tendencies. Though now, instead of pressing band-aids over boo-boos, you were disinfecting deep, bloody cuts, and wrapping gauze around his rough hands, misshapen by the amount of fingers he had broken that he never gave time to properly heal. 

You never reprimanded him. You didn’t need to. He knew that seeing him in this state was hurting you. Though you never said so, it was always evident by the look on your face that you couldn’t be bothered to cover up. What he didn’t know was that you were only on the med-school track because, since kindergarten, you had wanted to be a doctor so you knew how to take better care of him when he got himself injured. 

“You’re mad at me.” His gentle voice, the one he spoke with only when he was talking to you, cuts through the silence and brings you back to the present. You take a second to think about how to respond as you move onto his next wound.

“Why do you get into fights?” You ask, no real emotion behind your words outside of genuine curiosity. Jeno shakes his head, wincing as he quickly realizes that the motion was too rough for him right now.

“No reason.” He replies calmly, and you look up to meet his eyes as you press your towel against the cut by his lips.

“No reason? You do all this for no reason?” You spit back, unable to keep your even tone anymore. Jeno rolls his head to the side, dodging eye contact with you as he replies.

“I knew you were mad.” He says, almost absentmindedly.

You take a sharp inhale of breath, annoyed beyond measure, finally breaking.

“Of course I’m mad! I can’t leave you alone for one second without you hurting yourself!” This time, when Jeno winces, it’s not because of the antiseptic or pressure, it’s your tone, one he was so unfamiliar with when it came to you. All he thinks to do is roll his eyes in response.

“I mean, I always end up fine so it’s okay-”

“No!” You yell, cutting him off as you throw the cloth haphazardly at his figure, getting him to move his gaze back over to you in confusion as he picks up the towel and presses it against his wounds in your place. You just look at him, eyes scanning his entire bloodied up figure on the couch, tears threatening to spill for the first time ever in front of him. “No, it’s not okay. Not when I go crazy with worry wondering when the next time will be that you end up on this couch for me to fix. Do you get it? Do you get how scary it is for me to see my best friend beat up like this?!”

“I mean, the other guy always looks worse…” He states, the tiniest laugh accompanying his words, enraging you even more.

“You’re unbelievable!”

He furrows his eyebrows as much as he can before it strains against his cuts. “Me? You’re the one all worried for no reason-”

“I love you! Is that reason enough?!” You yell, standing up and walking towards the kitchen in your best attempt to get away from him. 

“Oh, God.” He says softly from the couch, and that’s all it takes for tears to start their race down your cheeks.

“‘Oh, God.’” You mock, shaking your head in defeat. “Great. Great. You can keep that towel, but please get off my couch and go somewhere else. Preferably, to a doctor. The rib that I keep telling you I’m worried about every time I see you, it feels broken now.” 

There’s a beat of suffocating silence before he speaks up again. “Y/n…” He says, just as gently as before, though you take none of it.

“Just go!” You shout across to the living room. You hear him let out a heavy exhale before responding.

“First, it’s hard to move because I apparently broke a rib, so if you want me to go, you’re going to have to help me up and out of the door. Second, the reason I got into the first fight on the playground in kindergarten was because that kid, Seongho, made fun of your hair bow.” You render still, staring down at your hands splayed out on the kitchen counter. You don’t know if you can form any response, you’re hardly sure if you’re breathing. Thankfully, Jeno fills the silence himself. “I said ‘oh, God’ because I realized I should’ve just told you that when you first asked. That I get into fights because some part of me has always needed to protect you. That the fights I seek out are against people who eye you like creeps. Yeah, I get into other stupid fights because people wanna punch me so goddamn bad for some reason and I don’t know how to back down, but the ones I start are just so I can keep you safe and gentle in this stupid, hurtful world.” 

Time seemed to stand still. You couldn’t wrap your head around his words. They seemed too unreal coming out of his mouth, but he spoke so surely. In the consequential stark silence, you hear him groan in pain, finally getting you to move as you rush over to him on the couch, extremely scared he was actually trying to get up and leave now, which he really was in no position to do by himself. However, when you get over to him, he hasn’t moved an inch. Instead, a soft smile covers his face as confusion crosses yours.

“I just did that to get you to come over to where I can see you again.” He admits, and you deadpan before you can finally find humor, shaking your head with a small laugh as tears continue to run down your face. Then, he finally does move, reaching a hand up to caress your cheek as his other still holds the damp cloth to his cuts. “I love you, y/n.” He says gently, making sure you were holding eye contact with him as he did so. You use a hand to wipe the remaining tears off your face before leaning in to kiss him softly. 

When you pull away, Jeno moves his head up to chase your lips as much as he can without hurting himself, pouting when you take a step back and shake your head. “You can kiss me all you want later. I have to get you to an actual doctor before your fractured rib punctures your lung and you die.” You state plainly, reaching an arm under him to help him off the couch as the two of you hobble towards the door. 

“I got so lucky…you’re incredibly romantic.” He replies sarcastically, and you just turn your head to look up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know why you’re teasing me. I don’t want you to die. That’s very romantic.” You respond with a smile, opening your door to get out into the dorm hallway. Jeno smiles lightly, kissing the top of your head as the two of you wait on an elevator. Then, all you can do is hold his hand as the doctor calls Jeno stupid for getting into fights (you slipped him a $5 for that one).