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familyagrestefanblog · 4 years

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Analysis of the Family Agreste Portrait

Quarantine strikes again and since the Agreste family portrait has fascinated me for a loooong while now I decided to put my thoughts into words and write another essay x3

The amount of informations we get out if it is amazing and its not only highlighting the absolute TRAGEDY it is that this family is about to face such a horrible fall out, it also hints at the former family dynamic before everything went to hell.

So make yourself comfortable and get something to drink, because we will be here for a while.

Here we go: My analysis of this beauty of a fictional portrait

Let's start with the most obvious one: Hawkmoth.

Its commen knowledge by now that the background makes it seem like Hawkmoth is standing behind the Agreste family like a bad omen waiting for fate to take its course and cause their doom. The portrait is brilliantly designed so the illusion is created that Gabriels body (here in a blue suit closer to Hawkmoths normals dark purple one) overlaps with Hawkmoths and a darker line is connecting the two faces as well, which rest on the same height right beside each other. The very same line grows bigger as it goes further behind Emilie - coloring her entire background - showing us that EMILIE is all Gabriel sees when he becomes Hawkmoth. But notice that Adrien on the other hand can hardly be concidered part of Gabriels “sight” at all.

Its forshadowing 101 and damn beautiful if I may say so. But this isnt what I want to focus on in this post.

I want to elaborate on two other key factors that tell us about the former dynamic of the Agrestes instead and what they tell us about the present and future.

The heart:

This is hitting me on another level because look at the heart these three form with Adrien right in the middle! He was so LOVED. This family may have never been anywhere close to ideal but still, there was LOVE and now he's gonna loose it all.

Adrien already lost his mother which led to his father getting even more distant and cold and now his father is becoming increasingly more abusive as he falls deeper and deeper into villainy. Gabriel was never a good father, the show has already made this clear with episodes like "the bubbler", “the collector” or "Gigantitan" for example but gosh there was hope for their little family! The end scene in "Jackady" portrayed it perfectly and I wrote a whole other post just covering the sigificants of Adriens and Gabriels hug in that episode. Check it out here if you want, it goes hand in hand with this one.

Miraculous is all about love and the completely different ways it can affect us, our behavior and actions. Because love isnt just wonderful, pure and empowering, it also can be twisted, destructive and cause the darkst nightmares. And with this family the writers know how to portray the complex love in an abusive houshold thats destined to go up in flames and they also know how to hint at their troubled past with the family portrait.

But this heart visual tells us even more in connection with the positions of their hands. And with these two key factors, lets start with Gabriel:

His hands convey it so strongly. He loves/d Emilie and Adrien so much and no doubt this love for them was certainly the reason why he started his quest as Hawkmoth. But he is now losing himself more and more in the pleasure of his villainy to the point where he forgets why he's doing it in the first place and becomes a complete monster (of a father). But this turn and spiraling into villainy didn't came out of nowhere - this root already had to be in him to grow like that. And this is also something the portrait indeed hints at as well.

Because Gabriel is the only one of the three who:

1. We see so completely open and without hesitation reach out and hold BOTH his family members.

2. Is visually “cut off” from them as well.

But this doesn't mean he was excluded and the only one who truly cared and loved, it just shows that things were more... complicated...as usual.

This is best explained with Adriens hand placements:

One hand is holding his mothers but the other one is visibly not reaching out for his father. But as we all know, that's not because Adrien doesn't love him. In season 1-3 it is made more than clear that Adrien does not hate his father - he loves him alot and tries to be there for him and be patient because he knows that the loss of his mother brought his father terribly down.

Sure, Adrien gets frustrated and angry with him, literally how could he not?? But Adrien tries his best to reach out to Gabriel so they can bond and come out of this tragedy stronger.

But this loving willingness to forgive his father for the chance of growing a father-son bond with him doesn't change the fact that these two didn't had a bond prior to this. And let's be honest here, does anybody actually think this distance between them was caused by Adrien? I don't think so.

So notice how Adriens hand - not reaching out for his fathers - is the only one in the portrait NOT inside or forming the heart.

When the connection of the hands between the family members symbolise their connection to another, then Adrien keeping the hand for his father away from the display of love is VERY telling. It tells us very directly what this distance did to Adriens side of the relationship. Despite Gabriels hand being right there, Adrien does not meet the gesture. And I cannot believe that he did it out of resentment, nothing in the show indicated such strong negative emotions from past Adrien.

It's much more likely that Adrien not reaching for his fathers hand is meant to show us that Adrien felt that he either CAN'T return the gesture because he fears that it'll end in an unpleasant reaction from Gabriel - that it isn't Adriens "place" to reach out to his busy and distant father like that, like it's demanding something - or Adrien simply didn't took Gabriel laying his hand on his shoulder, in the context of posing for a portrait, as a gesture of love and affection.

The way I interpret the portrait is that prior to Emilies dissappearence Adrien did not exactly try to reach out to his father the same way he did from s1-s3, which, I mean, of course wasn't the case. Not only is it NOT the 13 years olds (or younger) job to form an emotional connection to their absent parent - when that’s the PARENTS job - it also wouldn't be necessarily "needed" for Adrien to do so.

Because Emilie at this point was still in the picture so and she was the complete opposite. She was a (or maybe the ONLY) safe, reliable and loving constant of parental attention, affection and care in his life and because of these two HARSH contrasts Adrien learned from very early on to focus mostly completely on her in that regard while kinda blocking his father out.

That most likely wasn't even an active choice whatsoever - Gabriel proofed to be an unreliable resource so Adrien learned to subconciously treat him that way out of self protection. That doesn't mean he had any kind of dislike or malice against his father it just means that he wasn't able or allowed to connect with Gabriel the way he needed. Several episodes show that Gabriel deadass only parented like 15 minutes tops in his life with one of the worst offenders kinda being “Gigantitan” ngl.

So yeah, when I see that the portrait wants to tell me that prior to Emilies loss, Adrien - a 12-13 year old at most - is THIS used to rely solely on the strong bond he has with his mother and not even really reaching out for his fathers love, then I can't help but interpret it in the way that... Well... Gabriel was so distant and emotionally unreliable to Adrien for all his life, that Gabriel simply... wasn't needed by his son. Not at that point of time at least.

And while this may seem weird, because obviously Adrien only now starts to stop craving for his fathers affection and approval (which is btw a horrible, HORRIBLE thing and not something good. A half orphan losing the last remaining hope he had left of having the chance to finally get to form a bond with the only other parent he has left, just to be crushed by disappointment and abandonment all over again until he let's go, is REALLY NOT as much of a good thing people will make it out to be. This is... plain awful) it's actually quite logical.

Adriens hand outside the heart doesn't mean that his father meant nothing to him and therefore refuses to meet and accept his affection (that's literally the complete opposite of what the show shows us), it means that Adriens and Gabriels father-son relationship suffers from a fatal emotional disconnection caused by miscommunication/ a lack of communication.

And this was caused by Gabriel. How? Let me elaborate on that by going a bit far afield (cuz lbh we all have time for this. I’m writing this in quarantine and youre reading this is quarantine, so lets gooooooooooooo).

In "The bubbler" Adrien says that his father "always forgot his birthday", but I cannot agree with this in true honesty. Gabriel is controlling his sons entire life, calls him "the epitome of perfection" and temporarily truly gave up being Hawkmoth for him, he definitely never forgot Adriens birthday.

"The bubbler" even SHOWS us that Adriens perspective of the situation is actually not the truth:

This is Adriens first birthday after Emilies dissappearence and it's incredibly telling how Gabriel handles the planning.

What this entire little sequence tells me is that Gabriel is completely and UTTERLY used to NOT be the one to take care of anything related to Adriens birthday. So Emilie was always the one who did it but somehow - now without her - Gabriel apparently still hasn't even considered changing anything about that nasty non-involvement and just expected Natalie to pick everything up where Emilie left it.

Because let's be real here, knowing Natalie she would NOT have forgotten to get a present if Gabriel truly had told her to. Natalie is never presented to do mistakes like that but Gabriel on the other hand IS definitely presented to us claiming things about himself as ultimate, blameless and true when they simply do not reflect reality. A great example: Gorizilla

You didn’t even speared a minutes of your time for Adrien and he DID try to! Asshat… It's a problem guys. The lack of self awareness Gabriel displays in moments like this is legitimately concerning when you think about how deeply this man is falling right now.

But back to the topic:

Because even if Gabriel didn't even consider doing anything himself for Adriens birthday - not even taking the time to SEE his son (who just recently lost his mother, come on Gabe, really?) - one thing one cannot hold against him: he sure as hell remembered Adriens birthday like any decent parent would and it wasnt portrayed as a this-year-for-the-first-time thing.

And yet Adriens statement still makes complete sense. Because a big, BIG problem with Gabriel is just how much he takes things for granted. He EXPECTS things to be universally known and to never be doubted, just because that's how HE sees them. I will write 10 essays if it's needed to make people understand that Gabriel DOES truly love Adrien, it's just that Gabriel HIMSELF is such a rotten, twisted and toxic person that he cannot see how much his (oppressing) behavior and the way he (doesn't) express his love hurts Adrien and that HE is the one at fault. (for more, once again, read this)

Gabriel LOVES Adrien but he takes the love he feels as such a matter-of-fact that he just completely... forgets to show it.

And when we take Adriens words and look at the Family portrait it unfortunately seems that...

…. Gabriel ALWAYS forgot to show it.

Adriens hand - that should at least be reaching out to his father - is outside of the heart in accepting certainty. Because that's what Gabriels non-presence was for Adrien while growing up: an unreliable and unreachable certainty he had to accept early on as safer to not try to emotionally depend on too much or else he will get hurt.

So yeah, Adrien is the one in the portrait who is very openly not reaching out but only because Gabriel never gave him the needed affection and stability to be able to create that bond.

But let me correct what I said a little earlier: Adrien ALWAYS needed his father. Every kid, especially one in a bad situation like Adrien, does need their parents/friends etc as support system to become independent and confident in a healthy way. And if they don’t have that they WILL crave and look for it!

What Adrien has been doing up to now IS normal for a teenager - humans NEED affection, belonging and safety. What ISNT/SHOULDN’T be normal is Adriens disconnection towards his father in the portrait and just how much Gabriel fails to take care and BE THERE for his son in BOTH TIMES!

Collector:

Bother Christmas:

One thing I like about the show is that it portrays their young main cast with one very important truth: The psyche of a child/teenager of their age will react and adapt so it SURVIVES, even if it results in unfortunate consequences in other relationships and places. Thats the psyches main concern and it'll try to cope with the limited experience and development it has in whatever way necessary to get itself to the next day. A coping mechanism is not there to make you a better person, it ensures your SURVIVAL, everything else is a secondary concern.

So seeing pre-show Adrien not react to Gabriels touch and even feel completely unloved and disconnected from him is no surprise to me. Kids are incredibly observant. They may lack the needed experience and knowledge to truly understand that they deserve better and to stand up for themselves but they are masters in picking up red flags in people and can put this danger into perspective while comparing the different danger levels of their options of people and places to adjust their behavior.

Feast:

Stormy Weather 2:

So the broken connection between father and son we see in the portrait (that Gabriel doesn't even notice but Adrien fully internalized) isn’t there because Adrien “didnt needed” or wanted his father, its because Adrien NEEDED Gabriel so much in his isolated upbringing but Gabriel didn’t LET him need him - so Adrien had to adjust to that accordingly. Big, huge, ENORMOUS difference.

Honestly the most miraculous thing about Miraculous is that Adrien was able to bring up the strength to stay positive and friendly and to forgive Gabriel in hope for a better future. That boys situation is 7 kinds of depressing and traumatizing...

It's just flabbergasting to me how well this portrait shows how basically non-existent their relationship was at that point. And it's horrible to know that this estranged and unformed bond is all Adrien had left after Emilie dissappeared, just alot worse because after Emilie incident Adrien states that his father changed alot for the worse as well.

So to think that all Adrien had left wasn't even this former basically non-existent relationship with his aloof father - who would only barely show his true affection for his son because he's either not around enough to do so or he thinks it "unnecessary to proof his affection" for/to Adrien because he already thinks it so obvious and undoubtable.

Well he thought wrong. And GOSH, it breaks my heart!

So now comparing the "Gabriel" hand from Adrien with the one representing his connections with his mother conveys a pretty harsh contrast.

Because last but not least, let's take a look at Emilies hand placements:

But here is now an interesting difference to Adrien. Whereas we openly see that Adriens side of the Adrien-Gabriel relationship is completely disconnected from the heart/love - showcasing just how badly Adrien has always been neglected by his father - we don't see Emilies hand in her Emilie-Gabriel relationship AT ALL.

Once again just like with Adrien, this doesn't mean she didn't love her husband and that Gabriel was used and fooled by the woman he so utterly adored. It just means that from Emilies point of view things were a bit more complicated. What exactly this is, the portrait is keeping secret from us. We have no way of knowing if and how Emilie is returning her husbands gesture. All we can say is that if she does she is definitely not doing it in such an open and unconflicted way as she does with Adrien.

But since when has anything with this family been this easy?

One thing the portrait makes very clear, Adrien and Emilie had a strong and good bond. Definitely the healthiest because the Adrien-Emilie connection is the only one depicted without any kind of disruption from both sides. Both mother and son are reaching out for the other ones hand creating a whole half of the heart, showcasing their affection for another openly and without any of the implied doubts the other connections display. And honestly? Comparing all the hand placements, the one connecting Adrien and Emilie just comes across as strikingly pure and true (which makes it even worse that it was HER Adrien lost…)

As I said it's a HARSH contrast to the one Adrien shears with Gabriel. This contrast is highlighted even further by the way these three face on another.

Emilie and Adrien are positioned facing another and so are Emilie and Gabriel. Telling us that Emilie was "face-to-face" aka involved with both her husband and son. It is Adrien and Gabriel were this looks wildly different. These two have no way of seeing each other in the eyes the way they stand now/then, further displaying their deeply rooted disconnection. It's portrays perfectly how important Emilie was in this family dynamic, because even though Adrien and Gabriel bearly had a connection at all they at least had Emilie as a link between them, keeping the family together. But then they lost her and where this left both father and son off we know oh too well...

So to collect all the informations we get out if this portrait:

-Adriens and Emilies relationship was the strongest and purest. Both of their hands connect and reach out for another in the heart, showcasing that they had a loving and positive bond.

-Adriens and Gabriels relationship is heavily scarred by a deeply rooted disconnection leaving Adrien feeling unloved and unwanted by his father to the point where Adriens side of their dynamic is outside the heart altogether. Gabriel may love and adore his son just like he loves his wife and never thought he displayed his love for him in a lacking way, but fact is: this love never reached Adrien the way it should have and Adrien is the one in their dynamic who got severely hurt and damaged by it.

-Gabriel was the only one completely unconflicted and happily at peace with the former Family situation. He's reaching out to both his family members with open love and affection in blissful oblivion that neither his wife nor son could return them the same way (to different degrees for different reasons). Gabriel was the ONLY ONE in the Agreste family who didn't saw problems in their lives and thought them all happy, hence why he's so obsessed with changing the past and bringing THIS state of their family back. He was happy and he had everything he needed and loved right with him, of course he wants THIS back. He's not aware that Emilie and ESPECIALLY Adrien did not feel the same about their former situation and that bringing all of them back to this is not the perfect happy ending for their entire family as he thinks.

-Emilie may not have been as unconflicted with Gabriel as he was with her but she is NOT feeling the same disconnection her son feels and isn't depicted with negative feelings towards Gabriel. Her side in the Emilie-Gabriel relationship is neither shown outright positive as with her son or outright bad as Adrien with Gabriel. Her side of their bond is depicted through her unseen hand placement in the unknown area in between.

-Despite their not so unconflicted feelings towards Gabriel - and Gabriel himself being aloof - neither Emilie nor Adrien are actively trying to cut Gabriel out. They aren't flinching away from his touch or exclude him from the heart whatsoever. He's happily included, obviously feeling loved. They may not be 100% happy and Gabriel doesn't notice it, but they aren't denying him his happiness and make him unhappy. Again, he's the only one truly happy here. Something neither Emilie nor Adrien tried to take away from him.

-Emilie and Adrien are facing each other as do Emilie and Gabriel, implying the presence of communication and a bond. Adrien and Gabriel do not face each other, showing their disconnected bond. If they could see each others face Adrien would have been able to see that Gabriels hand is a gesture of genuine affection and Gabriel could see that Adriens expression does not exactly display pure happiness the way he thinks. This also goes for Emilie. Emilie just like her husband is placed BEHIND her son, so even if she is facing him she would not be able to really see just how much Adrien is not satisfied and truly happy with his life at that point (meaning how unhappy being looked up, friendless and at distance with his father actually makes him).

- This fascinating family makes me sad and I like it lol

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alolanrain · 3 years

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how old is ash on yours au’s?

It really really depends and I’m finding out that I’m absolutely horrible at actually giving out somewhat concrete ages, barring a few Au’s.

Unspokenly Ash is usually around late 20 to very early 22, unless I did write down and post an age for him in what ever Au has it, but thats also more drabble and fillet based. That is… basically my standard and I really need to vocalize that more from the content that I do write him as younger.

Basically how it goes is that with each region he ages up a year. Spending his birthday at home with his mom and the Oak’s that are present at the time before going off on another adventure. This gets kind of tricky around Sinnoh because Ash stay’s there to take on The Brain. I have that written down that it takes 3 month’s to even half a year. Which then put’s off the ‘sharing the birthday with mom and oak’ thing. This lands his birthday in the middle of his current journey at the time or a bit later like right before the league or a month before, if that makes sense. So in the end he comes home obviously older. Though I have been messing around and making the time in Orange Isles shorter to around 9 months instead of a full year.

Like here’s a time table and I’ll keep both set’s of ages if I do mess around with Orange Isles time line and add it as concrete. It gets really complicated so if you want a little more explanation please don’t be afraid to ask. I am also keeping the Brain Arc to half a year.

Starting age to finishing age *0/12 means how many months he is instead of a full year.

Kanto: 10 to 11

Orange Isles: 11 to 12 or 11 to 11 + 9/12

Johto: 12 to 13 or 11 + 9/12 to 12 + 9/12

Hoenn: 13 to 14 or 12 + 9/12 to 13 + 9/12

Sinnoh: 14 to 15 or 13 + 9/12 to 14 + 9/12

+ battling the Brain: 15 to 15 + 6/12 or 14 + 9/12 to 15 + 3/12

Unova: 15 + 6/12 to 16 + 6/12 or 15 + 3/12 to 16 + 3/12

Kalos: 16 + 6/12 to 17 + 6/12 or 16 + 3/12 to 17 + 3/12

Alola: 17 + 6/12 to 18 + 6/12 or 17 + 3/12 to 18 + 3/12

Galar: 18 + 6/12 to 19 + 6/12 or 18 + 3/12 to 19 + 3/12

I just want to say that typing all this out looks like one hell of a long ass math equation, kinda hate it and might change it later. But this is my completely basic format of what I use. Of course there’s a lot of wiggle room as I write Ash starting around 20 to 21 in Alola and Galar. He’s obviously going to probably spend more the one complete year in a region and less then another. The end of the league doesn’t dictate when he stays and leaves. Theres also the months that build up between each “arc”, another word I use to refer to his journeys, and to account the HC that some leagues start off at wildly different times then others.

It’s literally just a pick-and-pull basket and just a large general target where Ash would be ages wise. As you see in the end the two different age lists end up being only 3 months part from each other. It really doesn’t matter and I’m mostly just playing around with it. Another note thats… vital isn’t the correct word but I’m use it is that I don’t take Cerise Laboratory and the research assistant job into account. This is based off if Ash travels Galar to his normal standard with every other arc but Alola but I did keep the characters.

You didn’t ask for this but I want to add in other traveling buddies and side rivals ages and how they are compared to Ash as well. Usually Ash is the youngest if not one of them up until Hoenn. With the exception of being exactly 24 hours older then Ritchie. And all of this have way to much detail but its making my ADHD brain go brrrr happily.

He’s older than May, surprisingly, by like a month and a half but he doesn’t realize that and mentally clocks that he’s younger than her because of how responsible and adult like she acts a good chunk of the time. Max is obviously the youngest while Brock is the oldest. The same thing kinda happens in Sinnoh. He’s older then Dawn by a good year and a half to maybe even two years. Though Ash is younger then Paul and Barry by a varying few months between each boy.

Unova is where it changes a lot. Going from one of the youngest to one of the oldest out of his group of friends. Iris is drastically 3 years younger then Ash, making her around 12 at the start of the arc and somewhere around 13 at the end, and around 3 and a half with Cilan. This causes her to constantly pick against Ash because to her he’s older. Ash should be acting more like a seasonal trainer with known responsibilities and shouldn’t be so excited about everything. That’s also an expectation that was subconsciously taught to her by Drayden when she was still in School in the Dragon Village. Virgil is actually the oldest being freshly turned 18 years old while Cameron is the youngest at 11 and 5 months. Stephan is like the closest to Ash’s actually age but also acts a lot more older and more adult like then he really is just by his laid back attitude. Bianca actually just turned 18 before starting her journey.

Age Note: the reason why Cilan is weird and awkward around Burgundy is not because of her short temper and brash attitude but because Burgundy just turned 13 years old. She is a legitimate child just like Iris, compared to Cilan’s 16 years and 6 months when the meet on the road for the first time and not at a connoisseur event. Her deep infatuation and how young she is really puts Cilan in a active land mine field. Unlike Iris who listens to him and actually talks, he has no clue how to interact with her. Burgundy isn’t a normal gym challenger coming to his and his brother gym for a badge or even a normal crazed simple fan. As a gentleman at heart as well he raised to talk between certain age limits close to his own and this ends up making Cilan see Burgundy actually younger then she really is. Kind of like how Iris clocked Ash as a ‘kid’ when he’s obviously older then her and more experienced.

Kalos then thrusts Ash or being the oldest out of the main group but not as a whole. Bonnies around 8 while Clemont is 2 months and a half younger then Ash. This is where I struggle a lot in placing peoples based age in Kalos is actually because of Serena. I don’t want to make her too young to which the point it’s weird and also I based the other contest girls age’s around hers. But I also don’t want to make her too old to the point that Miette, the oldest out of the contest girls no matter what, is older then Ash. The general consensus is that Miette is right in with Clemont and Ash age wise while Nini is the youngest out of the trio. So that places Serena around 13 to 14 while Nini is like 12 and 7 months. Sawyer is obviously just turned 10 while Trevor, Tierno, and Shauna are between 12 and a half to 13 and a half years old. Giving that easy bonding connection with Serena and Shauna while giving Miette a older more experienced vibe and the childlike wonder to Nini. You’d think with Alain and all Ash would be the second oldest but your wrong. Ash is exactly 1 whole week older then Alain but, much like May, he doesn’t know that and mentally clocks Alain older then he really is.

In comes Alola and this is again where I usually bump Ash up to 20 to 21 but for the sake of everything I’m going off the basic target. Ash is obviously the oldest of the class by a good year on them alone though the classes collective smarts pushed them up different grades in school so thats how their together. Kiawe was the oldest at 16 and 9 months while Sophocles is still the youngest at 12 and 3 months, again bringing in the fact that the class is super smart and its based off intelligence instead of age like with every other class. Mallow is the third oldest at 16 and 2 months with Lana following on by at 16 and 1 month. Lillie is specifically around 15 years to 13 years and 4 months based off if I want her to suffer more as a older teen or as a child, literally her age is based off if I want to traumatize her more or not. Hapu is around 12 to 13 years old despite her obvious size and squeaky-ish voice. Acerola despite being very very mature for her age is only 17 years and 4 months old. Horacio is about Ash’s age at an even 17 years old when he and his lackies first meet Ash, Sophocles, and Kiawe.

Age Note: Horacio absolutely used his age as a card against Sophocles as many times as he could to the point it was so overused. This made Ash especially angry because he hated it when people used their age against much younger kids. Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re right.

Then we reach Galar as our final stop. Ash is once more the oldest out of him, Chloe, and Goh but not everyone else. That would be Hodge at a straight 19 years old when he first meets Ash and Goh at the Battle Frontier Flute Cup. Chloe comes at 14 and a half years old with Goh just freshly turning 14. This makes Ash’s relationship more of a mentor type distant older brother thing. Those two actually don’t find out about Ash’s age up until he and Goh get their letter so of recommendation and have to fill out the normal personal stuff. If you think Hop is close by in age with Ash then you’re wrong again. He’s actually two days younger then Chloe making Hop around 14 and a half years old as well. Marine is 13 years and 9 months old. Bede is much more closer to Ash then the others at 16 years 8 months. For Leon, Raihan, and Sonia their still very much the same in a way. Leon is still the youngest at 20 years while Raihan is the oldest at 23, leaving Sonia in the middle at 21 and a half years old.

Age note… once more: this fits perfectly for the Kanto and Galar Trios as they basically get opposite of themselves in a way. Goh who’s very oriented, loud, and on the go gets paired with marine who’s very quite and shy for the most part and their going to subconsciously teach each other that its okay to come out of your shell or its okay to take a moment and relax. Hop is very much like Ash and Goh combined with the strategies and the none stop puppy own straight crack like energy and he declares himself as Chloe’s, who’s silent and very critical and almost broody like it’s not quite there but it’s close enough, rival and is trying to teach her that battling is fun and okay and a lot of Pokemon like battling for those reason. Ash and Bede are the obvious choice for each other because once again Ash is very bright, happy-go-lucky, just sweet in general to everyone while Bede is completely broody, extremely sour, and just utterly rolling in his own image and being way to cocky.

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percyjacksonunofficialfanpage · 4 years

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okay so my last post got more love than i normally get so my adhd is telling me to completely ignore all the schoolwork i have to do and instead write more little things that nico would totally do, and not proofread any of it. just as soon as i finish typing hit post. so that’s what im going to do

there might be ToN spoilers in here idk im kind of just writing this as i think of things

but otherwise enjoy this part 2 of my thoughts and ideas

1.) nico would definitely get will a bunch of star wars stuff (it was revealed in ToN that will is a massive star wars fanboy and im so here for it) whenever he could. like birthdays, anniversaries, little obscure holidays that nobody even really celebrates, like national days that you make up on that website. nico would just be walking around the mortal world and ever time he would see star wars merch or collectibles he would try to buy something for will

2.) because of this, will has a big shelf by his bed in the apollo cabin dedicated to those funko pop figures that nico has gotten him over the years, and will would DEFINITELY be the kind of person to keep them in their original packaging, either that or he would have special display stands for each figure

3.) and every time nico walks into the apollo cabins and sees will’s shelf of Star Wars Things From Nico, he would get really happy inside because it meant that will really appreciated all nico’s efforts

4.) also can we please talk about how solangelo would absolutely do things with the younger campers, like teach them how to play pinochle (even though they aren’t very good at it themselves) and like will would bring board games to camp and he would spend hours with little kids playing candyland or monopoly or whatever.

5.) this isnt relative to the rest of the post, but like i dont think solangelo has ever kissed? like not in BoO, not in any of the ToA books? and if they did and i somehow missed it can someone please? tell? me? but otherwise like what is rick waiting for please i need the nico series to be true so that maybe they will kiss

6.) anyway back to the normal stuff

7.) also kindly imagine nico and will having like star wars movie nights and like using a projector or something that leo made so it works for demigods and using clamps to attach a sheet to the side of the hades cabin

8.) and then at night they would set up the projector and watch star wars movies and hold hands without really realizing they were holding hands

9.) and the first time they did a movie night, these little kids that were new to camp would kind of linger a few feet away, wanting to watch the movie with them, and so thats how nico and will ended up hosting monthly movie marathon nights with popcorn and mcdonalds

10.) also (for the sake of this lil headcanon please imagine that demigods can use phones) will would definitely put himself as an emergency contact in nico’s phone, and also set up all that medical info in the health app, just in case nico collapses or gets injured after a battle and is stuck in the mortal world and a mortal finds him, then they can contact will and he can get there ASAP or at least give the mortal directions for what to do

11.) i think if nico and will could have regular mortal jobs will would obv be a surgeon or some kind of awesome life saving doctor but then i dont really know about nico. like he could go down lots of different paths. but for the sake of NOT going off on a tangent and just sticking to giving u guys headcanons, i think nico wouldn’t really have a job, he would maybe just live in italy or france or somewhere with that aesthetic and sell things he makes or maybe run a little storefront (i realize that these qualify as jobs and yea but hear me out i’ll probably be able to take this somewhere)

12.) and he would like sell little items and things and antiques, and if someone came into his shop and he had a good feeling about them, he might give the item to them for free or like give them a discount. like

13.) i’m kind of imagining an elderly italian lady coming into his shop and shes really nice and sweet and they talk a little bit and he decides to give her like an old necklace for free. idk that just so cute to me

14.) but back to actually possible things i 100% believe that nico and will would play pranks on each other and try to minorly inconvenience one another all the time.

15.) like one time nico might take only half of wills socks, so none of them match

16.) and then to retaliate will set up an elaborate rube goldberg machine type thing with the help of the hermes cabin and percy and some mastermind athena kids so that when nico stepped outside of his cabin the next morning a massive bucket of water would be dropped on his head

17.) and they just go back and forth and they’re really competitive with each other but never in a mean way, like they never take it too far.

anyway that’s all, i might write more if i think of any! :) xoxo

#nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo

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amimons · 4 years

Text

Miraculous Sweet-ember (Sept. 23rd)

September 23rd: Chameleon, Animaestro & Bakerix

Chameleon brings the official return of Lila causing more trouble for Marinette. Lila has a personal vendetta against Marinette and Ladybug so on top of being extremely good at manipulating and lying we knew she was coming back as a more serious antagonist for our protagonist. Her lies are so good that she has the ability to get away with whatever she wants, which deeply angers Marinette since she believes in honesty and justice. Lila made sure to spare no expense towards Marinette once she arrived back at school and immediately work to isolate Marinette from her peers. Her classmates are oblivious to Lila’s true nature because they believe she has the best intentions. Therefore, when Marinette tries to prove Lila is nothing but a liar they are skeptical of her claims of dishonesty because Marinette cannot disprove anything Lila is saying.

Lila tries to work her charm on Marinette and offer a fake gesture of friendship. Lila told Marinette that she caught onto why Marinette was acting harsh towards her and it was because of Adrien. She extended a false olive branch to Marinette suggesting they should patch things up and she can even help her with Adrien. But Marinette is a clever girl and sees past her fake persona. She tells Lila that the real reason she doesn’t like her is because she lies and although she knows what she saids isn’t true she cannot prove it. Once Marinette called her out, Lila dropped her façade. Lila threatens Marinette saying if she doesn’t chose to stand alongside her then she will work to tear down Marinette’s reputation with her classmates. Now alone, Marinette rushes into a bathroom stall full of pain and anger.

Throughout the school day Hawkmoth has been targeting Marinette as his next akuma but every chance he gotten she would let go of her negative emotions before he could manipulate them. Hawkmoth finally had the opportunity to akumatized Marinette who was now face to face with said akuma. Tikki encourage her to overcome her negative emotions, telling her that she has the ability to find a solution to her situation. The affect of Tikki’s words worked. Feeling self-assured she announces that she is proud, confident, she's Marinette! Which ward off the akuma. Lila as a plot device is suppose to create the ripple in Marinette’s civilian life giving her an enemy outside of Hawkmoth. Unfortunately, people fall victims to convincing liars all the time and even though her classmates appreciate Marinette greatly they are blinded by the concept of who they think Lila is. Even though Marinette has a new obstacle to face in class, as long as she believes in herself and her abilities she can work to overcome it.

Another thing about this episode is that it works on the slow buildup of a potential akumatized Marinette. This is the second time Marinette almost became akumatized and both times was when she felt justice was not being served. Marinette needs an ally to offer their support in this situation, someone that also can see through Lila and she found that support in Adrien. Chameleon was a good step up for a new antagonist in the school. Together Ladybug and Chat Noir work together to fight against Hawkmoth and now Marinette and Adrien have the opportunity to work together to defeat another common enemy outside their super suits.

Animaestro made Marinette team up with someone we least expected. Chloe Bourgeois. Even though the intention of the two of them joining forces wasn’t a good one, it was still pretty enjoyable to see due to the comedic value of it. Besides Marinette learns by the end that it was a bad idea to follow Chloe and join in on her schemes. This episode also narrows in on what Marinette will need to work while the season progresses. Which involved her feelings towards Adrien and his potential relationship with Kagami.

It’s nice to look at this episode as a starting point of Marinette’s development on that subject. She feels threatened by Kagami’s role in Adrien’s life but as the season progress she comes to terms with it and even offers her friendship to Kagami. But at this point in time we have Marinette up to her whacky antics which includes Chloe tagging along...well more like Chloe bossing Marinette along. This also give an opportunity to compare and contrast how these two characters treat their relationship with Adrien. Chloe centers the relationship around herself at least on the surface level while Marinette does go to extremes to get a chance to be with Adrien, she will always put Adrien’s happiness over her own. Chloe and Marinette have such an interesting dynamic so it was great to see them attempting to become temporary allies.

Bakerix is dedicated to learning about Marinette’s father side the family. Specifically her estranged grandpa. Due to a family fall out, Marinette never got the chance to meet Grandpa Rolland Dupain and for her father’s birthday she makes it her mission to rekindle that father and son relationship. Thats easier said than done because Rolland is a man who is very caught up in the past. It’s even hard for her to get the chance to come inside his house since he is so closed off from everyone. She didn’t want to ruin a potential opportunity of talking to her grandpa by admitting she was his granddaughter so she tried to come up with other excuses to get inside. Her attempts to get in are funny and emphasizes why I love Marinette as a character. Several attempts later she was still not welcomed in his house.

Lucky for her, Rolland is opening his home up for the flour delivery person. She immediately takes the opportunity and tells the delivery man that she is Rolland’s granddaughter and she would love to pull a funny joke on her him by pretending to be the delivery person. The flour guy lets her take the bag and to top it off she asks for the hat to make it more convincing. Marinette wearing the flour hat was just adorable. Even though reconnecting her father with his father became a bigger task than she could imagine (especially since he ended up getting akumatized) Marinette is always willing to go the extra mile for the ones she loves. She will take on any tasks and figure out solutions to any problem just so those in her life have the very best. Thats very telling of just the type of person Marinette is.

About Sweet-ember:

For the month of September I wanted to spread some positivity and praise Miraculous Ladybug on the things I’ve appreciated/enjoyed from the show.

Everyday I’m going to select one particular moment, event, theme, etc. from an episode of Miraculous and shared what I liked from that episode. Each post will discuss 2-3 episodes (from season 1-3; 78 episodes in total).

Whether its something big or small there is something positive that I can take away from every single episode of Miraculous.

Please feel free to add a moment from these particular episodes that you loved to this post as well!

Salt towards the show, characters, ships will not be tolerated!

Sweet-ember posts

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17]

[18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31]

#miraculous ladybug #ml sugar #ml sweet-ember #Chameleon #Animaestro #Bakerix #mine

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

Text

surveys 068.

[100 Truths by thev0iceofreas0n] Lasts:

1. Last Beverage? water

2. Last Phone Call? i accidentally hit call to kile because I had his messages up. yikes. man i miss that.

3. Last Text Message? uhhhh I think i said “thats why we are made for each other”

4. Last Song You Listened To? forget me too by machine gun kelly

5. Last Time You Cried? it’s been a couple days now.

Have You Ever:

6. Dated Someone Twice? no

7. Been Cheated on? yes

8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It? uhhh nah.

9. Lost someone special? very much so. I bet he reads this </3

10. Been Depressed? not clinically.

11. Been Drunk? yes

List Three Favorite Colors:

12. blue 13. heather gray 14. maroon

This Year Have You:

15. Made New Friends? yes

16. Fallen Out Of Love? not yet. I’m trying to.

17. Laughed until You Cried? yes definitely

18. Met Someone WHo Changed You? met them THIS year? no.

19. Found Out Who Your True Friends Were? ooof. Man. thats a way of putting it. i found out that just because you may think your friendship with someone is an unbreakable bond, doesn’t mean they feel the same way. and that no matter how intimate and transparent you think another person is with you, the reality is sometimes you won’t be worth the truth to them. aaaaaaaaand ive learned that just because you really want to be chosen by someone, does not mean that youll be selected.

20. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You? uhh actually yes. I found out kiles gf talked to him about me and i found out my siblings were talking about me and i found out my dads gf was talking about me

21. Kissed anyone on your friends list? what friends list

22. How Many people on your friends list do you know in real life? On what???

23. Do you have any pets? Yes, 2 cats. I want to get a pupper but idk that that’ll happen for some time.

24. What did you do for your last birthday? it was like a four day affair. traveled, was spoiled, but was so broken up and lonely w.o kile.

25. What time did you wake up today? I went to bed around 4 and I woke up at 640

26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Staring at tumblr hoping kile would post.

27. Name something you CANNOT wait for? to not be consumed with these feelings!!!!

28. Last time you saw your father? ummm... I think it was the end of may

29. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? yikes thats a dangerous thought.

30. What are you listening to right now? i have gilmore girls on in the background, fans on, ac unit, and my typing.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yea a boss of mine and my SIL’s father

32. What's getting on your nerves right now? my foot and my lack of money

33. What is your real name? Diana

34. Zodiac Sign? cancer

35. Male or Female? Female.

36. Elementary School? home

37. Middle School? home

38. High School? home

39. Hair Color? naturally is a dirty blonde, but it’s going to be changed soon.

40. Long or short hair? Long

41. Height? Like 5′9ish

42. Do you have a crush on someone? trying not to.

43. What do you like about yourself? i think i’m supportive, slow to anger, loyal, curious

44. Piercings? just ears

45. Tattoos? None

46. Righty or Lefty? Righty.

Firsts:

47. Surgery? none so far

48. Piercing? My earlobes.

49. Tattoo? I don’t have any.

50. Best Friend? nea and gwen

51. Sport you joined? soccer

52. Pet? My dog millie

53. Vacation you remembered? louisiana

54. Concert? country thunder

55. Crush? chris. mmmmmm mm mm.

56. Alcoholic Drink? something that doesnt taste like it. right now probably my mint chocolate chip drink em got me.

Right Now:

57. Eating? Nothing.

58. Drinking? water

59. I'm about to.. type an answer

60. Listening to.. gilmore girls . 61. Waiting for... kile. im always waiting for kile.

Your Future:

62. Want kids? yes

63. Want to get married? yes

64. Careers in mind? check back

Which Is Better with the opposite sex?

65. Lips or Eyes? 66. Hugs or Kisses? 67. Shorter or Taller? 68. Older or Younger? 69. Romantic or Spontanious? 70. Nice stomach or Nice arms? 71. Tattoos or Piercings? 72. Sensitive or Loud? 74. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? yikessssssss neither

Have You Ever (2):

75. Kissed a stranger? lol in a way

76. Drank hard liquor? Yes.

77. Lost glasses/contacts? No. never had either

79. Broken someone's heart? I was told I did a few times

80. Had your heart broken? Yes.

81. Been arrested? No.

82. Turned someone down? Yes.

83. Cried when someone died? yes of course

84. Liked a friend that is the same sex? like romantically?

Do You Believe In:

85. Yourself? yes, very much so.

86. Miracles? Yes.

87. Love at first sight? I believe that you can meet someone and instantly know theyre going to impact your life big time.. but no. I think lust is initial and love comes later.

88. Heaven? Yes.

89. Santa Claus? Duhhh.

90. Kissing on the first date? In rare circumstances

91. Angels? Yes.

92. Sex before marriage? not for me. that will never be my priority.

93. Life on other planets? i mean, who am I to say.

94. Life after death? Yes.

95. Only being with one person forever? Yes.

Answer Truthfully:

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? yesssssss. very badly. sadly, i don’t think we will ever actually be in person together.

97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfrend at one time? No. no. no. no. no. no.

98. Do you believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? i think many people can do it. I know I could do it.

99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? My fam

100. What's one secret you have that not many people know? i cant post major secrets on here.

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noahhernandez · 4 years

Text

2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same !

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me.

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol.

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol.

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago.

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit.

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected.

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it.

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness.

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library.

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so. IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot.

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me.

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds.

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying.

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>???

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of.

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward.

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it.

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :(

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful.

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes.

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer.

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think 39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school). 40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart.

#personal

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backtobackbakubabe · 5 years

Text

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 15)

Bakugo X Reader

Baby’s first quirk

Words: 2298

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

Raising twins was no easy task. Especially when they were half Katsuki with tempers that rivaled only his. Niko was the worst when it came to tantrums. It seemed like the smallest thing would set her off, and with Niko being an early bloomer you both had to be on your toes at all times. It seems her quirk is triggered by stress, so any loud noise or maybe Itsuki took a toy from her and poof. She’s gone. Well not like actually gone. She was still in the exact same place. But her quirk made her completely invisible as well as silent. Katsuki tried tying bells around her ankle but the problem was anything that was touching her also became silent when she went into stealth mode. So as awful as it sounds he stole a house arrest bracelet from work and had Izuku help him modify it into a simpler version so when she disappeared he could still find her.

Itsuki on the other hand was rather easy. He always seemed to be a bit calmer than his sister. Although when he finally did melt down it was so much worse. By the time he was three his melt downs became quite literal. He started melting things with his hands whenever he threw his little fits.

That leads you to today. You were in the middle of teaching a class. The twins fifth birthday was tomorrow and your great husband had taken a couple days off from hero work to make sure he didn't get sucked in to any missions that might cause him to miss it. So right now he’s at home with them. Probably playing some elaborate heros vs villains game.

You could hear your phone softly vibrating in your desk drawer but you would wait until later to check it. You had to scold your students on a daily basis about using their phones in class so you had to set a good example.

The vibrating continued again and again before eventually Aizawa was knocking at your door.

You excused yourself before walking out into the hallways to see Aizawa with an amused look on his face and phone held out to you. “It’s your husband. He says he's been trying to reach you and was desperate enough to call me. It seems as if the twins... well I’ll let him explain.”

You gave him a puzzled look as you took the phone, “Hey babe... what’s wrong?”

“Oh shit Y/n can you please come home soon?! They both have gone crazy. Their quirks have... evolved... I don't know. Itsuki has whips now and I haven't seen Niko in like ten minutes and she's not showing up on the tracking app. Fuck I’m in over my head. Please come ho.... OI! PUT THAT DOWN! NIKO WHERE DID YOU EVEN....” You heard some commotion on the other side “Y/n I’ve never begged anyone for anything but babe I’m begging you please come home. I can handle one but as soon as I get one under control the other is doing some crazy ass shit.”

You tried not to laugh at your poor distressed husband, “Yeah I’ll see if I can get a sub for the rest of the day and come home as soon as possible. I’ll see you soon and in the meantime just try to bribe them with snacks. That usually works.”

“THANK YOU! Please hurry... OI! Leave the dog alo-”

The phone hung up and you just giggled as you handed it back to Aizawa. “Do you think you guys could cover my classes the rest of the day?”

“Yes I think we could work something out. It was quite humorous to hear Bakugo so stressed out. Now he finally knows what it feels like to be an adult in charge of children so powerful and so stubborn.”

You put your hand on his shoulder, “Thank you so much, I truly owe you one. Now I need to go help him out before our children burn our house down.”

You hurried home as fast as you could. You practically jumped out of the car when you got home and immediately teleported into the house scaring the absolute shit out of your husband. “SHIT! Dont scare me like that!”

You quirked an eyebrow at him, “You must really be on edge if me teleporting into the house, which is something I do basically every day, is making you jump... where are the kids?”

Right as you said it there was a weird tug on his arm making him almost fall. “What was that?”

He gave you a sheepish look, “Well you see I finally found Niko but she’s insisting on being in stealth mode so I... Well you see I...”

Before he could finish Niko was appearing out of nowhere and throwing herself into your arms, “Mommy! You're home!” You could see a very familiar item around her neck.

One look at Zuko who was curled up in the corner confirmed it, “Suki... did you really put the dogs collar on our daughter? And then put her on a leash?”

“What else was I supposed to do? Her quirk now neutralizes tracking devices! I couldn't find her!”

You looked at your daughter who was now looking at you with wide eyes. She knew she was in trouble, “Niko. Where you hiding from daddy?”

“Yes.”

“Did daddy ask you to stop hiding from him?”

She averted her eyes to look at the floor, “Yes.”

“Did you listen to daddy?”

She stuck the damed bottom lip out in the biggest pout known to man, “No... But Itsuki wasn't listening either!”

You ran your fingers through her hair, “I didn't ask about what Itsuki was doing. I asked what you were doing. I’ll deal with him later. Can you go give your daddy a hug and tell him you’re sorry?”

She nodded as you put her down. She ran over to Katsuki and hugged his leg, “I’m sorry daddy. I promise to listen to you next time.”

His expression softened a bit, “Yeah I’ll believe that when I see it.” He bent over and picked her up, “It’s okay munchkin, you know daddy cant be mad at you for too long.”

You shook your head, “Yeah believe me she knows that and she's counting on it. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger.”

He smiled, “Like mother like daughter.”

You leaned in and kissed his cheek, “As long as you know it. Alright thing one is dealt with, where's thing two?”

“I banished him outside until he can figure out how to retract the whips. Apparently his quirk is more than just melting things with his hands. He can make things as well like whips and these weird explosive balls. The whips are made of a lava like substance. Whatever it is in his palms that melt things just flows out of him until it makes a whip. And the balls, well they're actually pretty fucking cool. He can hold them until he's ready and then he just throws them and they explode. He’s been “playing” with them for over an hour. I’m all for him figuring it out, it’s a cool quirk but he’s destroying the backyard.”

Your eyes widened, “That sounds like a you thing. You’re Lord Explosion Murder not me.”

He gave you an exasperated look, “Sure makes sense... except he won't listen to me. I’m trying really hard to not be my mother and just go out there and tear that ass up.”

You reached over and took Zuko’s collar off of Niko, “Well maybe dont tear his butt up but he does need some discipline. He needs to know he cant get away with ignoring you. Just go out there and put your foot down, while also letting him know you’re proud of him. I promise you he’s only acting this way because he’s trying to impress you. You are his favorite hero after all.”

Niko threw her arms around his neck, “MINE TOO! You're so cool!”

He chuckled, “You make it sound so easy.”

You reached out and took Niko from him, “Nothing about being a parent is easy except for loving our children. Just make sure he knows that what you do comes from that place of love and it’ll all work out.”

He gave a weak nod, “Well here goes nothing.”

You followed him out into the backyard where Itsuki was currently using his whips to try and cut down a tree. Katsuki walked up to him and sat down. For a little while he didn't say anything, just watching as his son destroyed the poor tree. “You know as cool as this is. There is a time and a place for practicing your quirk. This is not the time and it is definitely not the place.” Itsuki stopped momentarily to look his dad with questioning eyes. “You know how daddy has a quirk that makes explosions?” Itsuki simply nodded sitting down criss cross beside Katsuki. “Well do you ever see me using it around the house?”

Itsuki looked like he was thinking about it for a few seconds, “Well no.”

Katsuki nodded, “Thats because I dont. It’s too dangerous. I wouldn't want to accidentally hurt your mommy or your sister. I know you’re tough but you have to think about them. You’ve got a big boy quirk now, so it’s time you start acting like a big boy. Do you understand?”

Itsuki nodded, “I understand. I definitely dont want to hurt mommy.”

Katsuki smiled, “Or Niko either right?”

His nose scrunched up, “Wellll I mean I cant hurt Niko. She’s fireproof.”

Katsuki whipped his head around to look at you mouthing a quick ‘did you know this’. To which you just shrugged your shoulders because that was new information to you as well. You looked down and Niko who had been standing right next to you but was now gone.

“HEY! Niko is showing me daddy's finger! You said we weren’t aloud to do that!”

Katsuki looked at you, “Daddy’s finger?”

You tried to hold back your laughter, “Yeah that's what we call the middle finger.”

He cracked a smile, “Makes sense.... wait a minute! Itsuki! You can see your sister? HOW?”

Itsuki blushed, “Hey shut up, I did not! MOM! Niko is calling me a tattler!”

Now it was your turn to give him a look, “You can hear her too?”

Niko came out of stealth mode, “You promised it would be our secret! You ruined everything Itsuki!”

Your husband looked like he was trying to do the math in his head, “So let me get this straight... Itsuki, you can see and hear your sister regardless if she is using her quirk?”

Itsuki pouted knowing he had given up their secrets, “Yes....”

Your husband narrowed his eyes, “So earlier today when I was going crazy trying to find her you could see her... the whole time.” Again Itsuki nodded not making eye contact. Katsuki turned his attention to your daughter now, “And you're... fireproof?”

“Yes but stupid Suki wasnt supposed to tell you!”

“First of all dont call your brother stupid, second of all, how the hell did you even figure that out?”

Itsuki blushed now, “I might have tried to melt her one day when she stole my Ground Zero blanket...”

“YOU WHAT?!”

You stepped up and took your husbands hand. “What do say we all just go inside and pick a movie. I think we all need some time to simmer down.”

Niko latched herself onto Katsuki’s leg, “I call sitting with daddy!”

Itsuki narrowed his eyes at his sister, “That’s fine I wanted to sit with mommy anyways! She gives better cuddles!”

Niko squared her shoulders facing her brother, “Oh yeah! Well daddy gives better back scratches!”

You and Katsuki just looked at each other. This was going to be your life from now on. Your over competitive, hot headed children were willing to fight tooth and nail over the smallest things. Just like someone else you knew.

You reached for Itsuki’s hand, “How about you and I pick the movie and we’ll let daddy and your sister get the snacks ready?”

Two hours later you were all stuffed onto the couch. Katsuki and you both in the middle with a child on either side. This was perfect. This was all you could have ever asked for. You leaned into your husbands side with your head on his shoulder. Both of the kids were passed out from their day of defying their father. “You did good today. You're such an amazing dad.”

He kissed the top of your head, “Thanks, but I was honestly lost until you came home. If anyone deserves a parent of the year award it’s you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

You snuggled deeper into his side, “Honestly you are the best husband and father, and I’m so beyond happy to be living this life with you.” Zuko walked over and put his head in your lap, obviously not happy with being the only one left out, “and you too Zuko, such a good boy!”

Katsuki’s arm tightened around you, “What do you say we put the gremlins to bed. And then we... you know... make another one?”

You picked your head up to look at those serious scarlet eyes of his, “Did you just say you wanted to have another baby? After all this? You want to have another one?”

He gave you a smug smile, “You just told me I'm an amazing dad, you cant take it back now. Besides... there's no harm in at least trying.”

*****************************************************************************************************

I’m not sure if this is the end or not. I have a different series that I’ve wanted to start writing BUT I may come back to this one later. Well see where the inspiration takes me :) I also may be writing a part two to Just Let Me Help You as well.

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #my hero academia

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noorengels · 4 years

Text

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes!

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

#my manifesto #sua: extreme #venting #xoxo #no ones had more friendship drama than me i refuse to believe it #this is 1526 words long #shut up ali

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justdyingslowly · 5 years

Text

1. Name justdyingslowly obviously come on

2. Nationality Australian

3. Age 22

4. Birthday nnnah dont feel like it

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Libra/Scorpio cusp

6. Gender wamon

7. Sexuality very very hetero

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) androgenous

9. What do you/did you study? Psychology (focus on sexology) and art.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I am disabled you think I can work ha sexologist would be awesome. When I was a kid I wanted to be a fireman but Australias always burning

11. Your birth order head first

12. How many siblings do you have? 1

13. Do you have good relations with your family? yeah dads finally out of his abusive relationship, nearing age 70 and his emotions and his sexuality are finally opening up for the first time and that makes me SO happy.

14. How many friends do you have? what kind of fucked up question is this.

15. Your relationship status relationshipped. Fiance? got the marriage papers in a drawer somewhere with the car rego but can’t be fucked filling them?

16. What do you look for in a SO? empathetic, mature, calm. Always open to discussion. Prefers to be blunt rather than secretive. Emotional age over 14 (incredibly fucking rare apparently). Puts an importance on context and understanding other views above all else.

17. Do you have a crush? Hellll yeah Crush on my partner and got a crush on a mutual friend of ours who don’t even know hes cute af hehe one day partners gonna accidentally spill the beans and embarrass me coz hes shit with secrets RIP me.

18. When did you have your first kiss? You think I can remember this bullshit? Its not that big a deal

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? One night stand sex almost exclusively sucks. Just. SUCKS. Because neither of you know what the other likes and it ends up being an awkward mix of trying to please yourself while trying to also be considerate.

20. What are your deal breakers? Plugging your ears to anything that feels gross, uncomfortable or disagrees with you. How can you grow as a person without introspection? How can you mold what you think and believe without taking in other arguments and comparing them to your beliefs to see how they stack up? Its pathetic.

21. How was your day? cute mutual friend had a fall this morning and were both worried about him. His back is bad and he’s getting a little older, he can’t be getting dizzy and having falls like that. other than that im anxious about seeing my gastro. He’s lovely but... specialists are specialists. Good at knowing what they know but not always great at listening.

22. Favourite food & drink you think im allowed to eat or drink? water and... foods a touchy subject.

23. What position do you sleep in? Usually on my side with a body pillow to grip so I don’t end up choking my partner in his sleep.

24. What was your last dream about? uuhhh...going to italy and being unable to get into this tiny basket boat properly.

25. Your fears does PTSD to medical shit count haha

26. Your dreams ... going to italy and being unable to get into a tiny basket boat thingy?

27. Your goals - get some sort of diagnosis eventually. Its been 3 years of trying and im tired. - get back to studying art part time for my bachelors. - pass JLPT N3. - go back to university for psychology. - do the dishes when I get home.

28. Any pets? two budgies. we also take care of any orphaned or injured birds.

29. What are your hobbies? feeling nauseous drawing writing a little bit im making a little gameboy game in C atm too

30. Any cool places in your area? i live next to a national park with waterfalls and koalas and emus and stuff

31. What was your last awkward situation? mutual friend made a comment on his chest i playfully smacked it (related to the comment) it was surprisingly hard “O-oh wow, thats... I didnt expect that” my partner laughed at me. it was awful.

32. What is your last regret? getting embarrassed at friends pecs stop making me think about it 33. Language/s you can speak english. N4 Japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) of course not what the fuck

35. Have any quirks? Quirkless. I do wiggle when im happy though apparently.

36. Your pet peeves open doors.

37. Ideal vacation spend a months chilling in an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

38. Any scars? internal? yes

39. What does your last text message say? peepee poopoo ustinky

40. Last 5 things from your search history how do i find this

41. What’s your [device] background? Sam Porter Bridges walkin around Sam Porter Bridges cuddling BB-28 Louise while he sleeps my chicken

42. What do you daydream about? all might

43. Describe your dream home an old japanese house in autumn hokkaido oooooof that sounds nice

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion its a comforting thought having a parent-figure who cares about you and looks after all the big things you can’t manage yourself, but institutionalizing it runs a severe risk of becoming harmful cults. And it often does.

45. Your personality type me

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done i saw the lost bunny that was on all the posters in the neighbourhood looked thin and patchy so i grabbed him to take him home. im allergic. sent me to hospital and I almost died.

47. Are you happy with your current life? feeling sick sucks and partners having a depressive episode but things are pretty good

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life living

49. What does your wardrobe consist of? blacks, reds, whites and pinks

50. Favourite colour to wear? at the moment pink. Red is always comforting though.

51. How would you describe your style? mix between lazy alternative punk, teenager with band shirts and harajuku peach kawaii uwu

52. Are you happy with your current looks? kinda wish i was a bit shorter but what can you do

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? bit shorter

54. Any tattoos or piercings? lol no PTSD

55. Do you get complimented often? by who? partner constantly, family haha are you kidding im australian so a friend’s version of showing affection is calling you a cunt and slapping your ass in public

56. Favourite aesthetic? all might

57. A popular trend that you dislike blocking because you disagree or find them distasteful. Ignoring all context to opposing thoughts and arguments. taking a personal feeling of disgust to mean something is evil. Blocking your ears to anything that isn’t a circlejerk of what you already think - and trying to isolate anyone who even just listens to something other then the noise of your sloppy dicks to have a thought of their own.

58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? The Machine by Low Roar

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. why wouldnt i admit i like a song

60. Favourite genre? probably enka haha

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? probably enka haha oh and tatsuro yamashita

62. Hated popular songs/artists? why the hell would I hate something like a song? I hate aspects of the music industry as a whole I guess?

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 which playlist they aren’t all together in one place

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? piano, saxophone... uh... partners good at making music and playing shakuhachi

65. Do you like karaoke? no.

66. Own any albums? yes? many?

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? no. but triple J, ABC Jazz and Classical. sometimes they even play final fantasy and JRPG music on classical which is pretty neat. -

68. Favourite movie/series? can i make this about games because then the answer is Metal Gear Solid

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc ...shounen?

70. Your fictional crush/es if they’re over 40yrs old, male and happy and bubbily or grumpy and sad then there’s a big ol fat chance I wanna bone. Solid Snake from MGS4, All Might and pretty much anyone drawn by Tarou Madoromi.

71. Which fictional character is you? uh

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so what does this even mean what language is this

73. Favourite greek god? idk hades seems chill

74. A legend from where you live that you like the story of Tjilbruke is funny and good. all Kaurna stories are good.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? im in a big egon schiele mood atm.

76. Can you share your other social media? no i am incapable

77. Favourite youtubers? many

78. Favourite platform? not too high up. actually i like being a little lower than ground level in corners.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? look i just want to say that MGS4 is the best one in the series and Death Stranding is phenomenally engaging.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) these are all so goddamn definitive how can I pick? Oh wait the answer is One Piece

82. Do you play board/card games? I play DnD atm and know 15 yr old rules to Yugioh

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? that shit dosn’t happen here

84. Favourite holiday golden week coz its a week also easter because thats when all the glucose based sweets come back

85. Are you into dramas? what kind

86. Would you use death note, if you had one? no. thats called being a murderer.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? chill people out a bit. when people feel unsafe they get really depenfive and territorial and block their ears to everything, making in-and-out groups for themsevles that end up putting them in more harm.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? im disabled with a disabled partner. we arent funny sure we can survive normal everyday life when society is angled so sharply against us.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? id like to be a mimi spirit

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? spooky time

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? toshinori yagi

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? anyone healthy

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo that cursed one with the intense eyes and the hand

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true im me im not me im pee

95. Cold or hot? cold.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? both are distasteful ideas in reality

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? i can’t do either partner speak sin bad puns and its hell, these both sound about equal

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting. controlling time is eithe rmanipulative or lonely. shapeshifing is every other superpower at once.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? both are deeply upsetting ideas

100. ….. or …..? jiji or ossan? generally Jiji, but ossans can be lovely too.

#personal #stupid

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natashaashleymarvelromanoff · 5 years

Text

I’m so glad you’re back - Epilogue

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8 chapter 9 chapter 10 chapter 11 chapter 12 chapter 13 chapter 14 chapter 15

So! here we are, at the end of this fanfic. its been a pleasure to finally write this fanfic and write out my ideas for an alternate timeline to infinity war and endgame. But this isn't the end of this universe!! I'm going to be creating a brand new story, including one-shots and drabbles, thats set around the 5 years in between the snaps and also after they bring everyone back! so you'll still be getting more of Natasha James and steve. I look forward to writing a few one-shots and posting them soon, so keep a lookout for when its posted. I'm also very grateful to everyone who had read my story and gave it a kudos and also commented!! it was lovely to hear about your thoughts and advice. love you guys! ❤❤❤❤❤

Its been a year since the Avengers brought back half of the universe. And what a year its been. Celebrations had started almost instantly around the world on the same day, states across America and countries across the world were setting off fireworks and throwing parties in their town squares and they were still going on a year later, and they probably will until the end of time. The time people had lost with their loved ones will never be fixed but everyone was back, and that's all that mattered. Not to mention the Avengers were practically legends now, they were even knighted by the Queen of England after she came back. Tony had loved that way too much.

And yes, Everyone was fine, they had rebuilt the compound in New York and restored it to be better and bigger, Bruce had actually rejoined the new avengers team and was now working as part of the team and the science division, Thor left New Asgard in the hands of his trusted friend Valkyrie whilst he travelled with the guardians. Getting everyone back had made him immensely better and his depression wasn't as crushing anymore, the guilt no longer weighing him down. Valkyrie had been more than supportive and told him she would look after their people whilst he got back to his old self. And if that meant getting back to his old ways of doing missions and helping people out in the universe then so be it. Doctor strange was also a bigger part of the team too, he and wanda worked together great, their powers were incredible when put together.

Carol had gone back off to help people around the universe too, she even clocked in with the guardians sometimes to help them out and carol also checked back in with her earth team often, not forgetting to visit for important occasions either.

Tony had been recovering and getting used to his new arm, which he has to admit, it better than his all flesh one, no wonder Bucky liked his so much. Speaking of which, tony and bucky had become civil with each other and are still trying to move on and become somewhat acquaintances. He retired from the avengers for good too, just spending his days now with pepper and their daughter Morgan. Morgan was a big fan of his arm too and often stuck magnets to his metal replacements when he was asleep or without him realising. Don't tell pepper but he still sneakily made suits for the guys at HQ and upgraded them with new weapons or new tech. He did say he wouldn't but he couldn't resist and besides Shuri, who else was gonna make their suits even better.

Scott and Hope had returned back home with her parents and were just living each day as it came, Scott had been saddened by missing out on another 5 years of his daughter's life and just wanted to make up for that time, whilst also spending as much time with hope as he could too. The 5 of them also came up too when there was an occasion, always keeping in touch, or even teaming back up with the Avengers when they needed help.

Clint and Laura were great too, they had gone back to their home after reuniting and fixed up the house in the areas they needed too, it was a bit run down considering no one lived in it for 5 years. But they managed to get back to life as normal, Clint still couldn't believe it sometimes but he never took another day for granted, he spent every day treating Laura like he did when they first met, like a queen basically, he was like a lovesick teenager all over again. Clint also tried to make sure he spent all his time with his kids too, not wanting to miss another moment.

Natasha and steve moved into their own home. Since they couldn't return to the compound as it was destroyed, they stayed at Tony and Peppers for a few days until pepper could find them a house. It was quite perfect actually, Natasha had never taken herself for a white picket fence kind of girl, but the house pepper had found was perfect. It was on its own with a huge garden, like tony and peppers, a good 30 minutes drive from anyone or the city, but it was still close buy that they could get James to school and could visit Tony, Pepper and Morgan as much as they wanted.

During the year, they made sure to visit most of their friends, of course, they couldn't exactly see the guardians or carol since they were away in the universe somewhere but their space friends always came back whenever they wanted too or when it was a birthday or a special time. The family of three visited clint and laura a lot too, to be honest, clint and laura were like a couple of teenagers again, sometimes Natasha would catch clint looking at laura and he would just be smiling whilst staring at his wife, like the rest of the world didn't exist but her, it was sickeningly cute. Lila had been practising her archery even more, she told steve she wanted to be just like her dad. A hero, whereas cooper was going back to school to finish his last few years before leaving for college. If Natasha remembered correctly, he had said he wanted to get into social work and help kids that were displaced by 'The Blip' and Nate was just happy like always, not a care in the world. All he wanted to do was play with his brother and sister and run around 24/7.

Natasha and steve had officially retired too, thankfully their home was close enough to the compound that they could still help out the team, paperwork mostly and they trained some new recruits sometimes when they were craving a bit of action or when the new Avenger's team desperately needed their expertise. They did have their own gym room in the house so they could keep on top of their health and fitness but they didn't do any missions, that was the only condition. No missions for either of them. Neither wanted to risk themselves or each other and definitely didn't want to risk their lives and leave James without a parent or two. And too Natasha's happiness, Steve had kept the beard and longer hair after hearing that both James and his mother liked it better, and even Natasha had kept the blonde at the end of her hair. Almost a reminder of the last 8 years. She knew one day her hair would get too long she would have to cut it off but for now, the blonde was a part of her and she wasn't getting rid of it. Besides, she liked her hair longer anyway.

Its a Saturday on the anniversary of ‘The Blip’ aka when everyone came back, and Tony and Pepper had offered to have James over for a sleepover again, leaving the evening free for Natasha and steve to spend together, it was after all a special anniversary, not only because of their victory for bringing everyone back but because its the day Steve came back and also met his son.

So the two retired Avengers decided to spend the night at home. Just the two of them.

Right now, the soldier and the spy were swaying in the front room of their house, Natasha's head was lay on its side against his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck. Steve had rested his chin on the top of her head and had his hands placed on her waist, slowly caressing them up and down her back. They'd been dancing to some old music that steve has put on for about 20 minutes. The lights were dimmed down, the windows letting in a soft breeze and James' toys, crayons and drawings were only slightly littering the floor.

Shifting her head, Natasha moved to place her ear over Steves' heart, listening to the soft thud of his heartbeat. Just revelling in the warmth he was radiating. Could you blame a girl? She had spent 5 years without him, Natasha was gonna spend the rest of her life soaking up as much of him as she could. But after a few minutes, she pulled her head back and looked into the blue eyes above her. The same blue eyes that lovingly stared back. Natasha pushed on her feet bringing her to her tiptoes, giving her just enough heigh to reach his lips and bring him down into a kiss. One that he gladly return with just as much enthusiasm.

After pulling away Natasha kept their foreheads together and stopped on her feet, halting their dancing and she held onto him. Then take a deep breath, Natasha opened her mouth to speak.

“You know, 6 years ago, after you were gone, it was the worst time of my life, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't sleep or eat, it sounds pathetic but I just couldn't believe you weren't in my life anymore. And then I found out about James. And it was like I was given this gift as if the universe was trying to apologise to me for taking you. And I was so scared at the thought of having this child by myself without you there. I always knew you wanted a child so much, anyone could tell you did even if you denied it or never talked about it. So when I remembered that, I wasn't so scared, because I knew you were always with me and if you could want this life and this child, I knew I could do it too.” Steve almost grimaced, he hated that he wasn't there for her, that he wasn't there for James for those 5 years. But all that mattered was that he was here now.

“I'm sorry I left you alone Tasha. I never wanted to do that.” He was too sweet, he was trying to apologise for something that was beyond his control. Natasha just smiled up at him as his eyebrows furrowed in regret.

“I know you didn't but you don't have to apologise.” Then his eyes lit up.

“You did such an amazing job raising James, he's amazing. The best kid I ever met and I'm not being unfair I promise.” She laughs at that. In the past year, James had become smitten with his dad, both spending all their time with each other trying to make up for lost time. It was cute to see steve experience so many firsts. And for the two of them to experience some together. after their emotional meeting, the two mostly bonded over drawing, James had insisted on making a picture for his dad and steve had joined him and they hit it off from there.

“Seriously though, you and James are the best part of my life, I'm so proud of everything we've built this last year, the HQ, becoming trainers for the new recruits and making this house our home. I'm so glad I have you and that your both okay. You're my family, I love you so much.” Hearing his confession made her heart warm in her chest, she still hadn't got used to it, to be fair, they had only said ‘i love you’ for a short while when they had been on the run but in the past year he had said it too her every day. It was still foreign almost but every time he muttered those words, it sent shivers down her spine and he never let her forget it.

“That's good because I was thinking about what you would say about expanding” Steve's brows knitted together at her question, not really understanding it, but as she stared at his confused face the redhead just grinned.

“Expanding? what? the house? Isn't it big enough?” Finishing his sentence steve let out a huff of a laugh. He really did think she meant the house. For a super-smart super-soldier, he could be quite clueless sometimes.

Natasha just rolled her eyes with her grin still on her face. He really had no idea.

“No, you dork. I meant our family.” That's when the soldier's eyes light up, but not for the reason she was trying to explain.

“What do you mean, like a dog? Because I think James would love that, and me but mostly James, yeah Jamie would definitely love a dog.” Sometimes he was painfully too obvious and oblivious, Natasha just smiled and quirked an eyebrow, knowing full well that it was steve who wanted a dog more, but he was trying to play it off as if it was James that wanted it.

“No, I didn’t mean a dog.”

“Then what do-” His breath nearly caught in his throat, he pauses and it finally clicks.

“You want another kid?” His blue eyes start to sparkle as he speaks. She could practically feel his excitement and nervousness when his hands tightened their grip on her waist.

tilting her head to the side, Natasha smirked at him. He'd finally figured it out, but she still had one more surprise.

“What if I told you I’m already about a month of that plan in front of you.“

Once again, the soldier's eyes are confused as he looks at his love. A few strands of his long hair falling into his eyes. But then his face falls, finally realising what she means. Natasha just waits, watching the different thoughts colour his face. Then she sees it. That look of realisation in his eyes.

“You’re pregnant? You're really pregnant?”

Biting her lip, Natasha nods in confirmation.

Steve breathes out a laugh, practically in shock he picks her up at her sides and swings her around in a circle, hugging her close. The redhead laughs at the sudden movement and when he finally puts her down, he kneels on both knees and pulls her closer at her hips, instantly reaching for her shirt to pull it up slightly so he can see her bare stomach. There wasn't anything there and he knew there wouldn't be a bump for a couple more months but just knowing that right now, a baby was growing inside there made him almost pass out.

As he holds her in his hands, steve leans in to kiss her bare skin, just below her belly button. He can feel her fingers start to run through his hair as he does. Once he pulls back he tilts his head back to look up the love of his life. His partner, his spy, the woman who one day would be his wife and all he could do was marvel at her.

Steve was literally consumed in awe at the woman before him, he always had been. Ever since the moment he had boosted her of his shield to catch a ride on one of the chitauri's ships all those years ago.

She was amazing. And had given him everything he thought he never even wanted or could even have.

Looking back at her stomach he gave it another quick kiss before he whispered into her skin.

"I love you so much already.”

Before Natasha can react, her soldier is already back on his feet and grabbing her by the arms to pull her closer to him so he can wrap his arms around her and leave no space between them.

Seeing him up close she can see the slight traces of tears that had run down his face from the pure emotion he had been feeling.

“Natasha Romanoff, you are the love of my life and I love you so much. You have given me everything I never thought I could have or even wanted. You are my world, you, James and this baby. You are my everything and I feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again every single day.”

The redhead sniffles a little at his small speech, she knew he would be over the moon, and she was so happy she was able to finally tell him this time. This is what it should have been like for James. But even though those 5 years without him were tough, she finally had him back now and they were moving forward with their lives. With James and the baby for them to raise.

Pulling him down by his shirt Natasha embraces his lips with hers again. Their lips moulding together perfectly. God, she would never get enough of this man. She thought didn't deserve him at all, but after everything they have been through, she couldn't care less if she deserved him or not. She loved him and he more than loved her. They had James and they were going to have another baby. And that's all that mattered.

Pulling away breathlessly the two stay close with their noses touching, Steve's has a sudden wash of confusion and worry over his face.

“Does James know?”

Natasha lets out a sigh, looking down as she plays with her fingers. Her worry also covered her face as she really thought about James's reaction

“No, not yet, I didn't want to tell him yet just in case he gets a little upset, it's been a crazy year and we've only just got you back too. So much has changed. I don't want him to think that now you're here and there's a baby that he's being left out.”

“Hey don't worry, everything will be fine, James will never be left out and he is gonna be a great big brother." Steve reached down to capture her hands in his to stop her from picking at her fingernails and then used his other hand to touch her chin, making her head tilt upwards to look at him once again. Suddenly her worry clears away, he was right. She was worrying over nothing.

Then a cheeky smile makes its way onto steves face.

“So, what do you think? A boy or girl.” Natasha instantly rolls her eyes playfully at him and pulls away to go turn the music off.

“Oh god, your gonna start this now? I’m not fighting with you over who’s guessing right.”

“Hey, come on, just because you know I’ll be right isn’t it? “ he followed her after she turned the music off, both making their way towards the stairs to head to their bedroom, but it didn't stop him from joking with her.

“Oh you really wanna go there” She challenged back.

“Oh yeah, you know I do. And by the way, since we brought it up, I think we should definitely get a dog.” If Natasha eyes could have rolled any further back, she would have. Steve knew she only meant it playfully but he was not gonna stop trying.

“We are not getting a dog.”

“Please? You know James would love it, and me, and the baby. “

“Steve please“

“Pleeease, just 1, like a labrador or golden retriever.”

“You're obsessed.”

And that's how they spent the rest of night, spending it together in their home, talking about the baby and James and even the possibility of getting a dog.

Years ago Natasha could never have dreamed this would have been her life, she was raised to be a killer, to not embrace her emotions and believe love was for children. Back then she didn't even think she could have children. but now she had everything she dreamed about. She deserved this. Natasha wouldn't have changed it for the world.

And Steve was the same. If you would have told him back when he was still a skinny kid in the 40s that he would have been a hero and finally have his own family in the 21st century with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and had a child with one on the way, he probably would have died from a coughing fit and asthma attack after laughing too hard.

Fate had brought them together and also tore them apart, but nothing could stop them from finding each other again.

And neither could imagine their life any different.

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chimcharstar · 5 years

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1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO

LETS FUCKIN GO

tumblr please actually make this a keep reading

55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?

MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET

3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?

DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING

4. What would your perfect room look like?

IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT

5. Do you play sports?

6. What fiction place would you love to go to?

SINNOH REGION

7. What Job would you be terrible at?

DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE

9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?

WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED

10. What skill would you like to master?

A SECOND LANGUAGE

11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP

12. What’s your favorite drink ?

THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.

13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?

I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER

14. What songs do you have completely memorized?

I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY

15. Are you usually early or late?

LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH

16. What takes up too much of your time?

GETTING OUT OF BED

17. What do you wish you knew more about?

SWORDS

18. What are some small things that make your day better?

COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.

19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE

20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?

YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH

21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?

21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON

22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT

23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?

TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY

24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?

I HAVE PERFUME...

25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?

TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON

26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?

I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT

27. How often do you people watch?

I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.

28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES

30. Do you relax after a hard day?

FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR

31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?

I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS

32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

IDAHO?

33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?

LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS

34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS

35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?

YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS

36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE

37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?

HANG GLIDING

38. Dream car?

SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT

39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?

STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS

40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?

HAVING A CAT

41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?

DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM

42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?

IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS

43. How different was your life one year ago?

NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T

44. What/who would you rate 10/10?

MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING

45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?

GENUINELY MADE ART

46. What do you hope never changes?

MY T PRESCRIPTION

47. What movie title best describes your life?

I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT

48. What website do you visit most often?

TUMBLR

49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?

MY BIRTHDAY

50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?

FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING

51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER

52. What age would you like to live to?

80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER

53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?

SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME

54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?

CRIMES

55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?

A CAT

Lgbt+ ask game

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?

I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?

Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?

I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?

It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?

My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?

I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?

Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?

Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?

Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?

I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?

Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?

Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?

My mutuals :D

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?

I’m okay calling myself queer.

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?

No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?

I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?

I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?

You’re a boy. Go!

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?

That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?

Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.

#chatty tag

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wherethewindtakesher · 5 years

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It's that time again! All the numbers for the ask!

I GOT YOU M A D I!

1. Last kiss back in the 10th grade so YEARS AGO

2. Last phone call my girlfriend to just say hi c:

3. Last text message IT WAS YOU MADI HEHEHEHEH

4. Last song you listened to everything I wanted by billie Eilish. listen to it it’s a fucking B O P.

5. Last time you cried a couple of weeks ago.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice just ask my girlfriend 🤭

7. Been cheated on I think so?

8. Kissed someone & regretted it yea because they ended up being a bitch later on.

9. Lost someone special yea /:

10. Been depressed too many times.

11. Been drunk and threw up No! im so lucky I haven't experienced that because I am a smart drinker 🤪

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

12. had sex no!

13. How many people have you had sex with this year? 0.

15. Made a new friend @domromanoff @caws5749 and all of you!

17. Laughed until you cried when I told @caws5749 that I was gonna buy green mascara for her.

18. Met someone who changed you I have!

19. Found out who your true friends were omg don't even get me started on that story-

20. Found out someone was talking about you yeah and that correlates to 19′s story.

26. What did you do for your last Birthday I fucking worked but my nephew took me out to eat and got d r U n k.

27. What time did you wake up today 8:00 am.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for to throw all of my semester shit in the TRASH.

30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time around a year ago.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life myself-

32. What are you listening to right now chattering from my classmates.

33. When is the last time you had sex? never because 😎

34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now myself because I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER-

35. Most visited webpage po- I mean youtube 👀

36. Favorite colour red!

37. Nicknames clown, bottom, whore, hoe, lore, baby, babe, a pain of my ass-

38. Relationship Status taken 👻

39. Zodiac sign capricorn!

40. Male or female female

41. Primary school graduated 😌💅🏽

42. Secondary School graduated 😌💅🏽

43. High school/college graduated hs 😌💅🏽 and in college 😔

44. Eye color dark brown.

46. Height 5′2.

47. Do you have a crush on someone yes.

48. What do you like about yourself MY LEGS.

49. Piercings 4, both of my ear lobes, conch but it closed, and septum.

50. Tattoos 2, my left finger and left bicep.

51. Righty or lefty righty but Im mixed handed!

FIRSTS:

53. First piercing my ears when I was a baby but through my decision; my septum!

54. First best friend his name was pedro.

55. First hookup do fwb’s count? if so yes.

56. First Bestfriend answered in 54 c;

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating nothing because im in class 👀

60. Drinking H2OOOO and thats on hydration 💅🏽

61. I’m about to yeet myself out this window.

62. Listening to some guy talking about his military medical service.

63. Waiting for this class to end so that I can go hooome.

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? possibly just 1 or 2.

65. Get married? hahahahah no.

66. Career something in the criminal/medical area.

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes lips.

68. Hugs or kisses hugs.

69. Shorter or taller taller since im 5′2 😬

70. Older or Younger older.

71. Romantic or spontaneous a lil bit of both!

72. Nice stomach or nice arms um... I honestly don't care but I have to choose one so arms?

73. Sensitive or loud LOUD.

74. Hook-up or relationship relationship 💅🏽

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger no because I am a good girl 😌

77. Drank hard liquor DUH.

78. Lost glasses/contacts contacts yes because I stopped wearing them and ive broken glasses so much in my life-

79. Had sex nope!

80. Broken someone’s heart sadly yep!

82. Been arrested nope!

83. Turned someone down omg too many times not to brag or anything.

84. Cried when someone died well of course.

85. Fallen for a friend thankfully no.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself no but im working my way to do so (:

87. Miracles SHIT I HAVENT GOTTEN A MIRACLE IN EVER SO-

88. Love at first sight I think ‘love’ at first sight does come in different wave lengths.

89. Heaven umm..no.

90. Santa Clause jadhkjdhakjd no-

91. Kiss on the first date depending on how you are feeling about the person. if its all good then go for it if they want it.

92. Angels nooope.

93. How would you label yourself? uhhh... I don't like to categorize myself into a certain thing, im very free with what I wear and how I present myself.

94. Someone You Pray Everyday For I don't pray.

95. Did you sing today not actual loud singing but I did hum under my breath if that counts 🤔

96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About We’ll call him M. he was what I wanted back then BUT YA KNOW SHIT HAPPENED.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? 8 years to prevent the stupid shit I’ve did.

98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For I want to make myself proud of who I am

99. Are you afraid of falling in love? very much. it terrifies me.

100. Do you like the way you look? HELL NO. theres so many things I want to change-

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bixiaoshi · 5 years

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this is a rant post so feel free to skip 😎

[[MORE]]

idk what i want to rlly say so i feel like it will be whatever comes to my mind first kesjdksjf

but like, its so unfair what my dad did to me. he chose another life over his only daughter, like he was a good dad after he and my mom broke up, when i was 4 years old he was a good dad, when i was 5 years old he was a good dad and then i was 6 years old and he stopped doing everything he did.

he stopped visiting me every wednesday, he stopped taking me out being just the two of us, he stopped going to my school presentations bc he had work. it's like, he stopped caring

all of sudden i had to be this doll that wore clothes they chose for me. 8 years old me had to straighten my hair bc it was too puffy for their liking. everything i did was wrong, if i knew smth they were telling me, it was wrong bc then i would be miss know-it-all

if i told either my mom or my dad something i only confide in one of them, the other would know immediately and i usually got called out by my father of what i told my mom. i got called out by his boyfriend for something i told my mom, i couldnt trust either of them bc somehow the other party would know.

when i was a kid i had to act like an adult bc there were things i couldnt do, i couldnt like. i had to have the perfect hair, a kid had to use cream after every shower bc then her skin would he dry as fuck. i had to wear perfume bc otherwise i'd smell bad, i always had to have the perfect hair. i couldnt be fat because then i wasnt gonna be attractive, i was an ugly kid bc i wasnt skinny.

9 y/o and i had to choose between my dad and my mom because both of them did smth to me after a ballet presentation i had. i chose my mom and it was the biggest mistake i did bc i made my dad's bf sad, i disappointed the ppl on my dad's side because a 9 y/o preferred her mom

10 y/o it was my fault me and my dad, an adult, didnt talk. 10 y/o me had to wear certain type of clothes chosen by my dad's boyfriend bc then she would look ugly, she had to straighten her hair bc then it would look ugly and no one would love me if i was ugly.

12 y/o and i had to be some kind of way so i could go live with them, she stopped going. it was her fault, she made her dad sad and it was all her fault. they never did nothing wrong, something took over her and it was her fault she just stopped going. started self-harming, it was a joke to both of them, i couldnt attend an english course bc i stopped going to my dad's, their punishments was me not learning a whole new language

13 y/o me, vacations i got sick, it was same as always, i just wanted to have attention, i wasnt rlly sick, i just wanted attention. attention i never wanted, attention i was never gave as a kid, i made everyone disappointed bc i just wanted fucking attention and didnt actually get sick. no one believed the kid, they believed the adults, i was lying i was a liar.

14 y/o me, knew how to wear heels, knew how to wear makeup, knew how to straighten and curl my hair, and not for myself, but for my dad and his bf, bc if i didnt i was ugly, if i didnt do any of those, i looked ugly.

15th birthday, i invited my dad bc i didnt want to go to the dinner he wanted to take me to bc i didnt have the energy. i told him the hour, i told him everything. he didnt come, why? because he chose going out of the city instead of his daughter, he chose something he could do any other day over her daughter's 15th birthday.

it was always like that, he chose his bf over his so-beloved-daughter, there was always more important than his daughter, never was a priority for him. i was never enough for neither of them, i always had to be like someone else, i always had to be someone else. i had to be prettier, i had to be skinnier, i had to wear clothes i didnt rlly like. i always had to shut up i always had to like whatever the fuck they wanted. i couldnt cry, i couldnt be sad because if i did i wanted attention, if i did voice why i was sad, it wasnt that big i was just exaggerating, there were people that had it worse.

my grades were never enough, i wasnt smart enough, i was dumb because i didnt understand maths. learning a whole language by myself starting age 11 was my job, it wasnt special, knowing a language i wasnt always in touch with wasnt special. i wasnt bilingual because i never received professional english education. i couldnt study photography because it was a poor job, i wanted a camera at least and who was the one who got it? my dad. my dad who never was rlly interested in photograohy got a camera and classes with a professional. and me? i had to just look how that all happened.

i couldnt do basketball bc it was too far away from my dad's house, was i rlly sure thats what i wanted? i couldnt keep with ballet, because according to my dad's bf my mom never took me; every weekend i stayed at my mom's my grandma took me to ballet classes. learning the guitar? was i sure enough i wanted that? i was gonna be fat i was gonna be ugly, i couldnt play the guitar bc then i would get ugly and i didnt want that right? because i wasnt pretty already, did i want to get uglier?

don't talk abt your interests, no one cares. don't talk about what you feel, it's just an exaggeration. oh hey, why dont u talk abt whats happening to u? youre the same as your mother, you just want attention and then nothing's happening. don't ask for something you want, you'll look desperate, why are u asking for certain food? are u anxious? do u want to get fatter? we'll go to new york for new year's even tho its one of ur biggest dreams, oh what about you? you ask; get a husband with money and he will take you.

don't believe in santa, thats childish and youre already 13 years old. dont be a kid, youre 10 years old youre not a kid anymore.

youre not special, the world doesnt revolve around you

#long post #dad tw #tw: dad issues #my dad broke me. my dad ruined me #and it was all my fault. he never did something wrong #i was just exaggerating. it never was soemthing to be sad #jo talks

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