#his name is craig and we love him

[boethiahsboytoy]

Vulon gets a Vyrthaal.

IMAGE ID: A digital redraw of the "Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus?" meme. It features two elves: one in the foreground with its back to the viewer, and one in the background facing it. The one in the background has pale blue skin, red eyes, and lavender hair styled in a death hawk. They have a scar across their lips and wear smudged eyeliner and dark green armor. The one in the foreground has orange tinted skin, dark brown shoulder length hair with a streak of bright orange in it, and is wearing dark purple armor. The elf in the background is speaking and has a frightened expression on their face. Text at the bottom of the drawing reads "Did you fuck my parents, Vulon?" END ID.

The answer is yes.

Do not repost my art or delete the caption - Do not tag as kin/me/ID/etc - Reblogs > Likes

[makeyoumine69]

Hi! I wish you further growth and inspiration!

My choice is pussy eating and sex toys.

Good luck! 💦💦💦

Fever

— PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

— SUMMARY: You love going out and having dinner with Patrick, but not when his friends come along, they always make you feel so uncomfortable and insecure. Good thing he has his own ways of reassuring you, right?

— CONTAINS: Smut, established relationship, sex toys, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex (p in v), Daddy kink, Praise kink, Degradation kink, pet names, a lot of cum, nipple play, choking, biting, slight dacryphilia, humiliation, dirty talk, Patrick being a manipulative dickhead.

— WORDS: 3.2k

— SONG REC: Babydoll x the Perfect Girl 

— A/N: This day finally came, and I finished my first writing challenge, which I started to celebrate my 200 followers! Thank you so much, guys, for standing by my side. I love you and I hope you like it!🖤

— LINKS: [MASTERLIST] [BWC MASTERLIST] [support]💗

Dorsia, just the mention of the name of that establishment was enough to make Batman frown and clench his jaw in annoyance. Nonetheless, that was the exact place you and him wanted to spend that evening, and when you finally took your seats at the best table in Dorsia, Patrick's face was like a wax statue, it was impossible to read any of his emotions.

Tim, Craig, David and their bimbos couldn’t stop rumbling even for one second and that actually annoyed Bateman, but on the other hand he used it as an opportunity to whisper filthy things right into your ear, taking advantage of the fact that no one else was paying attention due to the ruckus.

“Did my good girl do her homework while I was away?” He nuzzled against your neck, and you fidgeted on your chair uncomfortably, feeling embarrassed. “I can’t wait until we get alone.”

“I bet you do.” You reply shortly, without breaking eye contact with him.

Pleased, Patrick leaned on the chair back, his sly smile speaking for itself. Sneakily, he placed his palm on your knee to play with the hem of your cocktail dress, only to tease you and induce you to try closing your legs. With a muffled gasp, you caught his dexterous hand just at the moment everyone looked at both of you.

"So, Bateman. How was your business trip?" Craig asked with a cheeky grin. "Did you enjoy LA? I hear the chicks there are pretty hot."

The men started laughing together as if they shared the same brain cell, and you used that moment to brush Patrick's palm away, which actually made him a little upset, so he paused and coughed a little.

"McDermott, you can go to LA and see everything with your own eyes!" Patrick scoffed and took a sip of his drink. "I don't want to give any spoilers."

Sighing, you pulled yourself together as you repeated to yourself over and over again that you wouldn't let their childish behavior get under your skin. The girls — models, supposedly — looked at each other in frustration, but neither Bateman nor his colleagues seemed to care.

"God, Bateman! Now I'm intrigued!" McDermott chuckled before lighting his cigarette. 

With a mischievous smirk, Patrick hugged your shoulders when he saw a glimpse of sadness in your beautiful, big eyes, and you couldn't help but smile timidly at David's comment:

"Look at them, just two lovebirds." 

"Oh, shut up," Bateman blurted out jokingly. "Being jealous isn't a good thing." 

Van Patten rolled his eyes at Patrick's remark, but immediately lost interest when the girl next to him leaned down to his neck and whispered something.

"Patrick?" You called his name so softly that it elicited a muffled gasp from his broad chest.

"Yes, dear?" He replied, looking at you lovingly and moving even closer so that you could whisper in his ear.

"When are we going home?"

"Do you want to go?" He 'accidentally' touched your cheek with his perfectly shaped nose, making your heart skip a beat.

"No, I was just asking."

"It's not a problem, honey." Bateman leaned even closer to kiss the area behind your ear. "Besides. I'm starving."

"But we just ate." You almost squealed when he discreetly pinched your thigh under the table, his dark grin sending shivers down your spine as you glanced at him.

“You know what I mean, babydoll.” He crooned in a low voice, not giving a fuck about how attentively his coworkers were looking at both of you.

“I–” You wanted to talk back to him, but he suddenly cut you off, standing up and removing the napkin from his knees.

“Gentlemen, sorry, but we have to go.” 

“So soon? What happened, Bateman?” Craig tried to sound sassy, but when he didn’t get any attention, his face went plain.

“Don’t worry, McDermott. We will get back to our conversation one day.” Patrick winked at him and offered you a hand, expecting you to take it. When you did, he pressed a brief kiss on the back of your hand.

Tim whistled at the sight and you ignored him, but you couldn't stop Patrick from shamelessly grabbing your ass as you two were leaving.

“Have fun, Bateman. But don’t make your neighbors call the cops.” Bryce added, making everyone laugh. Frowning, you looked at Patrick, expecting him to say something that would calm his coworkers down.

“I’ll call them if you don’t return those porn videotapes I gave you last week.” Bateman crooned with a cheeky smile and after that, he led you to the exit, so you could only catch a glimpse of Timothy’s blank face before you eventually left Dorsia.

In the taxi you both remained silent. You couldn't help but feel a little offended by the way his colleagues behaved, and the thing you hated the most was that you knew that if you told Patrick about it, he would just shrug it off and say that there was nothing special about it.

"Honey?" Bateman suddenly interrupted your train of thoughts with his playful voice, as if he could read your mind. Sometimes it was even scary how perfectly he could sense your mood.

"You have terrible friends, you know that?" You replied, disregarding his flirtatious tone.

With a cocky chuckle, he wrapped his hand around your shoulder when he saw you crossing your arms defensively over your chest. 

"Well, I know they're not the greatest people..." He paused, wondering what to say to cheer you up.

"And I don't like it when you treat me like I'm one of those stupid bimbos," you finally turned to him and pushed his hand away harshly. "How many times do I have to explain this to you and—"

His tight grip on your throat made you choke for air, and you nearly shrieked at his unexpected roughness.

"I think you've forgotten who's in charge here, little girl." Patrick growled into your ear, and you thanked God that the partition in the taxi was closed. "How many times have I told you I don't like this kind of attitude?"

Closing your eyes, you whimpered from lack of oxygen and tried to say something, but he didn't even give you the chance to do it as he covered your mouth with his greedy one. Bateman reveled in all your muffled, pitiful sounds, kissing you hard while his other hand slipped under your dress to possessively get a handful of your soaked pussy. Damn it! Instead of being scared, you were so fucking aroused and that only made the whole situation worse, because after Patrick let go of you, he sneered in the most arrogant way and brought his long fingers, coated in your flavor, to his lips to taste it.

"Don't ever compare yourself to those bitches," he reminded you, fixing the hem of your dress and gently stroking your leg; his face softened as he let out a disappointed sigh. "After all, I missed you so much, (y/n). And I thought you missed me, too."

"I missed you, I really did!" You panicked a little. Patrick was such a master of manipulation, a few moments ago you had accused him and his friends of having bad manners, and now you felt guilty about making that scene.

"So why did we have this shitty conversation about my colleagues and their whores instead of talking about us?" Patrick replied in a challenging tone, his big palm was still on your knee, but this time you didn't dare to brush it away.

"Because it makes me sad!" You blurted out and looked at him, now staring at the scenery through the taxi window.

"Fine, I won't take you to dinners like these anymore." His annoyed voice echoed in your ears, and you couldn't help but feel your heart breaking at his comment. You lowered your head down and cried, barely audible, but somehow Bateman immediately noticed.

"Are you crying, (y/n)? Seriously?" 

"Patrick, maybe I should go home? I don't feel well and I don't want to disappoint you with—"

"Enough of this bullshit, okay?" He suddenly pressed you against his chest, letting you hug him around his waist. "I'm not letting you go, not now, not ever."

Where was your good mood and that sparkle that set your body on fire when you were in the restaurant? God, you hated yourself for acting like that, but his friends — those stupid yuppies — always made you sick to the stomach, but this time you really had lost your patience. And even though you calmed down now and hid your face in the crook of Patrick's neck, the tension between the two of you was still in the air, and you didn't really know what to expect when you arrived at his place.

After almost an hour, you were sitting on his big bed, completely naked and still shivering — you could still feel his touch on your most sensitive spots as Bateman had just washed you in the bathtub, rubbing and massaging you everywhere.

When you heard a soft click of the bedroom door, you raised your eyes to see him coming in, a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other, his red tie loosened and some of the top buttons undone.

"How do you feel, babydoll?" Patrick asked you teasingly, shaking the glass in his hand and leaning against the door.

You swallowed hard when his super dark eyes glided over your exposed curves, and you had to hold back your rapid breathing, because you were so damn excited. " Much better, thank you."

Bateman let out a low chuckle before placing his drink on the shelf and coming a little closer to you, puffing on his cigar.

"Good," he smiled and blew a few rings of smoke. "Now show Daddy how you learned to use my gift."

His words forced the blood in your veins to curse faster, making your skin burn from the inside out. With a loud gasp, you lay on the bed, leaning on your elbows and spreading your legs wide, so he could see your succulent pussy.

As soon as you did so, Bateman clenched his chiseled jaw and almost bit down on the cigar, but he kept watching your little hand slide between your thighs, and when it reached your soaped slit, he couldn't help but growl — he'd been rock hard all this time, but now it was getting really painful.

"P-Patrick, I'm scared..." you whimpered abruptly, taking the pink silicone dildo — the one that has been laying beside you on the bed — and rubbing it along your taut lower lips to lubricate it. "It's so embarrassing."

"Oh, I know, honey. I know," he purred in his usual seductive voice, and unbuttoned his blue shirt. "But you don't have to be embarrassed. Trust me, baby, Daddy knows what's best for you."

Damn, that was too much.

Gulping and closing your eyes, you threw your head back and tried to let it go, placing the dildo at your dripping entrance, and the next second you cried out from the feeling of fullness as you pushed it deep into your womb.

"Such a good girl."

"D-Daddy!" You let out a high-pitched wail, focusing on his raspy voice as you were too embarrassed to open your eyes.

"Go on," Bateman exhaled sharply, putting the cigar in the ashtray, and then he unzipped his pants, his hot flesh literally pulsating. "You make Daddy so proud."

"Mhhm," his words made you arch your back, and you began to pump yourself with the sex toy, sensing a tight knot forming in your lower abdomen. "Pat-Patrick, please… talk to me!"

He didn't answer at first as he continued to undress, slowly stroking his engorged cock. "Ahhh, this is so fucking sweet," Patrick grunted, smearing his pre-cum around his swollen tip. "Can't do anything without my guidance, am I right, my babydoll?"

"Awww—yes," you gasped, your legs already shaking. "N-need you, Daddy! Need you so much…!"

At that moment, you didn't care about anything in the world, just the buzzing feeling in your core. There was only one person who could give you that vital release you needed so desperately, and you were more than ready to beg him if he asked you to.

"You know what," Bateman murmured as he finally undressed and joined you on the bed, and when you felt his big palm on your hip, you thought you were going to combust, but he gently stroked your cheek, soothing you a little, whispering: "Shh, my little one. Not yet."

You literally writhed on the sheets like a trapped kitten, afraid to breathe, afraid to say anything that would ruin this moment. 

"Patrick..."

"Yes, dear... I'm here," he covered your hand with his bigger one, pushing the dildo even deeper, making you scream. "That's it, that's how you do it!"

"Awww, oh my GOD!" you tried to close your legs as the friction became too intense and Bateman just snickered at your pathetic attempt to stop him, so he just grabbed your throat and yanked it a little against the bed. "D-Daddy, it hurts!"

"Oh yeah?" Patrick couldn't hide his excitement when he saw your eyes watering, but his inner beast craved more. "I really wanted to be nice to you today, but you made me change my mind."

"Ahhh!" You clawed at his hand, which was choking you hard, but this man was too strong. "I'm... I'm s-sorry! I'M SO SORRY!"

The way he shoved the dildo into your bruised cunt was so fucking brutal that for one second you blacked out as the apex of it hit your cervix pretty brutally.

When you opened your eyes and yours met his, all you could see was lust mixed with rage. Huffing, Bateman suddenly moved down to your face to nip at your lips, then suck them and lick your cheekbone as he relished having such control over you. With a devilish grin, he continued to squeeze your neck, forcing you to fuck yourself with the dildo that was now completely covered in your juices.

"Do you hear that sound?" He taunted you, hovering over you and pressing you down with his massive muscles. "You're dripping like a fucking waterfall! So don't try to pretend you're not enjoying it, slut!" 

"I'm going to explode!" Was all you could manage to scream as your whole body tensed like a spring.

"Awww, you're going to cum from fucking yourself with a cheesy sex toy, what a pathetic little whore!" Patrick almost barked these words in your face, but then he suddenly released your neck and went down to your collarbone, leaving wet, red marks here and there. "Keep going and don't you dare stop!"

Your eyes rolled back in your head when his wet tongue began to play with your swollen nipples, not to mention when he took one of them into his mouth and sucked it so eagerly that you cried out in pain. Trembling, you let him use your hand to set the pace, your inner walls aching every time the dildo brushed hard against them. 

When Bateman noticed that your little frame was quivering too much, he quickly slipped down between your legs to suck on your clit and holy shit, he was so good at it, he definitely knew what he was doing.

"I—mhm, I'm gonna cum… Daddy, p-pleaseeee!" You were no longer moaning — at this point you were literally screaming, and your throat was burning, but that only spurred him on to eat you more fiercely.

"Mmmm, I've been thinking about tasting this pussy," he tugged on your sensitive bud before swirling his tongue around it. "For so fucking long."

Another deep thrust, followed by his merciless lapping at your oversensitive cunt, made your orgasm wash over you like a huge ocean wave. Shaking, your half-opened mouth froze in a silent cry as all your insides spasmed too intensely, and this sensation lasted so long that you almost fainted.

"Jesus, what a dirty girl you are," Patrick chuckled after he pulled away from your pussy and removed the dildo, his face covered in your wetness, it was literally running down his chin. "Look at that, you fucking cummed all over my face!" He forced you to look at him, and your dazed glance coaxed a loud chuckle from him. "You think I'm done with you?" 

"I..." You tried desperately to pull yourself together, but the overstimulation hit you so hard that your brain refused to function at all.

"Yes, I'm talking to you!" 

"Aww, w-wait!" You wailed loudly as he grasped your head and forced you closer to the edge of the bed. "Daddy!"

"Don't you 'Daddy' me," his ominous intonation was kinda scary, but you had no choice but to submit. "Don't worry, honey... I'm just going to play with your mouth a little..."

With a quick thrust, he pushed himself into your mouth, since you didn't really have any power to protest. Although it would have been pointless to do it anyway. You expected him to face fuck you really hard, but instead Bateman gently took your chin for support as his hips began to move faster, petting your head each time his red, swollen tip hit your throat.

"Arghh, your mouth feels so good, I missed that."

Patrick stroked your cheek almost lovingly, ignoring the way that you were almost gagging on his thick cock, savoring his cum and keeping eye contact with him. Grunting, he didn't last long as he collapsed into your mouth, rolling his hips and spilling his sticky liquid deep down your throat, and you didn't make any pathetic sounds, no whimpering or sobbing — you just took what he gave you. With your eyes closed, you drank him dry and heard him murmur:

"For now, I forgive you."

Slowly, Bateman pulled out from your abused mouth, leaving a trail of his cum and letting a few drops fall on your breasts.

"Clean them," he pointed at your tits, pumping his still hard cock and watching you catch the drops of his cum with your fingers. "Now get on your knees and spread your legs wide."

Whimpering, you obeyed and Patrick didn't waste any time, positioning himself behind you and wrapping his strong hands around your waist. 

"Ahhh, Patrick..."

"Shush," he cut you off, rubbing his creamy cock between your ass cheeks. "I'm not going to fuck you in the ass, even though you really deserve it."

He rammed into your aching pussy without any mercy, stretching you even more from the inside and making you cry, your hands helplessly creasing the sheets beneath you.

"IT HURTS! AW!" You squealed as he pinned you down, forcing you to lie on your stomach as he trapped you under his massive body, relentlessly drilling your little hole.

"What? My dick is way bigger than that dildo, huh?" Bateman mocked you shamelessly, the slapping sound your bodies made was like music to his ears. "Ohh, what a poor little girl… mmhhm… I promise you… by the end of this night you will be so fucking full of my cum — that it will pour out, but I won’t stop… even if you beg me to!"

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[ninzied]

deep in the dreaming of you

alex isn’t sleeping after a recent breakup. henry tries to be the supportive best friend, because he knows all too well what it’s like to lose sleep over pining for someone. (alex is pining. henry is just very wrong about whom.) a roommates au. 7.5k. rated e.

His name is Craig.

Craig is, well. He’s fine, really. On their first date, Henry learns their interests are well-aligned when it comes to books, and the cinema, and so on. On their second, he learns the same does not apply in the bedroom.

As such, Craig does not stay the night afterward, and so Henry is saved from the awkward song-and-dance of next mornings, offering whatever they have in the cupboards and—more dispiritingly—having to introduce them to his roommate.

Though, he hadn’t heard Alex come in last night. Not that Henry makes a habit of noticing these things, exactly, he just happened to be up and happened to not hear him, that’s all. So Henry is surprised when he walks into the kitchen the following morning and sees Alex in a white tank at the counter, looking very much like he’s just rolled out of his own bed, inhaling a coffee as he flips through one of his law textbooks.

Alex, who’s been his best mate since uni, who’s also the secret love of Henry’s life. Yes, it is all as hopeless as it sounds.

“Hey,” says Alex, barely glancing up.

“Hi,” says Henry, who can’t not look because Alex’s curls have fallen over his forehead and the sight of them makes Henry’s chest ache. He clears his throat. “Thought you were still at Amber’s.”

“Was,” says Alex. “We broke up last night. How was your date, by the way?”

ao3.

[liliannadelaphinehartifelt]

Alastor - [ DEVOTION Pt. 7 ]

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Alright, buckle up loves! This one is a rollercoaster…. I’m pretty sure there’s smut (yay, we have returned to my roots). Also, thanks for all the feedback on the story. It gave me insight into a few things and what tropes to leave out of my next series (which is coming soon).

WARNINGS: [ NSFW ] + [ MDNI ] + [ SLIGHT SMUT ] + [ ANGST ] + [ CHILDBIRTH…description?… I mean not really that much… ] + [ MENTIONS OF CANNIBALISM ]

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Within the hour of Alastors shadows leaving, Roise and Angelique came rushing into your home.

Their coats were thrown to the floor at the door, and both women bound up the steps, calling you and Alastors' names in evident concern.

"Al! Y/n?!" Rosie shouted as she rounded the staircase plateau, reaching the room first, and his mother followed swiftly.

"Al! Baby, what happened?' Angelique came right to his side as he lifted his head from looking down at your sweat and blood-covered face.

Rosie gasped, seeing the state you were in, the blood pooling on the sheets, your body's weak tremors worrying both women and Alastor’s disheveled demeanor, only adding to the heart-wrenching scene.

Angelique placed a hand on your forehead, feeling for a temperature, as Alastor croaked out a phrase she had never heard him utter: "Help her ma…please…."

". She's burning up," Angelique muttered in slight shock, sparing her son a solemn glance as she caressed your cheek soothingly.

He clearly was withholding his panic, reverting back to the mild-mannered nervous ticks he had as a boy to cope with stress.

His eyes twitched rapidly, watering a bit as she conversed with Rosie on the best ways to go about helping you and the babies.

"They're gonna be okay, baby. Hey, look at me, stay strong, you hear me? Keep your head on straight. They need you more than ever…" his mother reassured him with an encouraging smile, tilting his chin up as an added gesture.

"Now is not the time to be weak like your father…"

Alastor paled at her words, unconsciously steadying his mentality to avoid breaking down any longer, "I'm nothing like that pompous and demented drunk-"

"Then go clean yourself up. Straighten out that mess in the basement. And let us do what needs to be done to save Y/n and your children…"

Angelique made no effort to put her instructions gently, already rushing about the room to ready herself for the task ahead.

Rosie merely stared at him expectantly, already tending to your wounded head after wiping the visible scum from your face with a warm wet washcloth.

"Go, Al. We will take care of this."

He froze for a moment, hesitant to leave you in such a state, gazing down at your distressed form one last time before deciding to trust them with your fate.

"I'm counting on you both," he mumbled wearily, planting a sorrowful kiss on your head while peeling off the bed's edge.

"Everything going to be alright, sweetheart. I promise.."

You sobbed lowly at his words, too weak to speak and even less apt to stop him from leaving your side.

The last sight you had of Alastor that night was him lingering at your bedroom door with a somber smile that conveyed the sadness in his eyes, and then he was gone.

A memory you couldn't recall as hours of labor set in. You spent what little strength was left in your body to birth a son and a daughter.

Your screams could practically be heard throughout the whole Garden District.

Alastors' shadows shook violently upon hearing each one, but he restrained himself from racing into the room.

Instead, he busied himself as his mother instructed: cleaning the basement, locking it up before pocketing the key for better safekeeping, and resigning himself to his studies.

Hours of listening to your muffled cries mixing with the crackling of his radio filled the atmosphere with unease.

His shadows swirled in anticipation near the bedroom door, not daring to peek in until your voice was drowned out by the soft cries of two newborns.

Alastor had been on his third cigarette and fourth whiskey by then, in the middle of drowning his stress with vices he'd sworn never to take up, but they seemed appealing for the longest night of his life.

He was rather thankful when a spectator spawned beside his chair, whispering good news in his ear and clearly elated to relay it.

They've arrived—a healthy boy and girl, and she is stable as well. A job well done, monsieur…

A tender smile crept onto his lips at the information, shrill cries of life carrying through the house proving his spectator's observation true." I shouldn't keep my children waiting then," Alastor mused half-heartedly while standing upright.

His glass of whiskey was half full on his desk, his cigarette snuffed out on an ashtray next to it, and his radio left on a low volume of static as he left the room.

———— ————— —————

"Oh, Al, come look! They're just the sweetest little lambs you'll ever see!"

Rosie ushered him in the room with a genuine grin on her face, strands of her blonde hair in disarray, her dress sleeves rolled up, and a bit of sweat on her neck from the work she'd just finished.

He chuckled at her enthusiasm, assuming she was exaggerating to lift his spirits.

"Is that so?"

Rosie nodded excitedly, gliding back over to the bed where you lay, and his mother sat facing you.

"Come on. Come look at em'…" the blonde whispered while peering into Angelique's arms.

Alastor hesitated, somewhat afraid to come face to face with his offspring, but then he heard them babble quietly.

A gentle, enlightening sound he never imagined liking, but it drew him like a magnet.

The tired smile you gave him as he neared the bed helped quite a lot.

You were alive, in need of rest, but still breathing.

His mind calmed as your eyes met for a split second, a fleeting exchange of gratefulness, but it broke as two tiny giggles filled the room.

Alastor averted his attention towards them, leaving you to watch as he took them in.

Angelique shifted slightly, adjusting her expert hold on the swaddled newborns who fixated on their looming father as he stepped closer.

"Oh my…hello there, little ones. What a pleasure it is to meet you…"

Alastor fawned over them, kneeling to get a better look, and to his delight, they both smiled at his approach.

The sudden change in expression swayed him, and he had a genuine grin on his face as he took their features in.

"What wonderful gifts you are," he muttered in amazement.

His mother chuckled, amused by her son's reaction to his children, but relieved he'd composed himself again.

"Would you like to hold them, Al?" she voiced the offer gently, watching his sharp eyes soften behind the around-framed spectacle.

"I'd love to ….." he mumbled wistfully, never taking his eyes off the newborn twins.

Rosie squealed quietly in excitement as Angelique nodded, carefully handing the boy over to Alastor first.

He gently took him in his arms, admiring their similarities, "My eyes, hair, and nose. You've stolen them all…"

He paused, stuck on what to call then, but you whispered both names through a tired smile:

"Adonis Naveen Hartifelt & Antoinette Marie Hartofelt… just as we decided, yes?"

Alastor held your gaze momentarily, sensing something was off but disregarding the underlying tension to enjoy the quaint moment.

"Yes, ma chere. Very suitable names…"

You flashed a somber smile, watching as he walked about the room with Adonis before switching to hold Antoinette.

He clearly favored your daughter a bit more, smiling the longest with her near his chest and only puttering her down when she began to fuss—which took quite a while.

Angelique took her from Alastor's grasp, letting him admire her again before he left the room with Rosie and leaving you to feed them with his mother's help.

His absence left you to wonder…

It baffled you how he could be picture-perfect at times like this.

The very image of a good and gracious man.

Nothing like the monster you imagined could systematically tear apart a body the way you witnessed in the basement.

Nothing like a man who'd lie to his wife.

Nothing like the man who'd caused you so much pain in what was supposed to be your happiest time together.

————— ————— —————-

As the days rolled on, winter winds ravaged New Orleans through the holidays, but the frivolous change of season seemed a distant notion outside of the Hartifelt house.

You were first confined to bed rest by Angelique, then by a doctor's official recommendation the next day, and with their orders came directions.

No overexcerting yourself.

No stress.

A fulfilled and healthy diet couldn't be avoided.

And at least six hours of sleep per day.

The last two stipulations were hard to follow because they felt impossible, and you couldn't bring yourself to relax until Alastor made an effort to explain himself…

To explain the body in the basement and why he'd ever see the need to butcher someone in such a gruesome way.

You'd long figured out what he'd been using it for, piecing together what you witnessed with what had been conspiring in your home for months…

The mutilations on the body were precise, as if he had been harvesting certain parts, but you didn't recall seeing any limbs or organs lying around the basement.

There was no rotting flesh smell either, nothing to indicate he was keeping them as personal trophies, but the victim had clearly not been his first from the looks of their wounds.

You'd never seen him dispose of anything, never heard any clamoring noises from the basement when he was down there, and couldn't recall seeing blood on his hands besides the one time you visited his mother.

All your guesses and observations led you to one conclusion: a notion that made your stomach churn, but the only plausible answer to the question of what Alastor had been doing with…or instead using the body for.

Meat.

He had to be harvesting it.

Feeding body parts to himself and me as if it were regular livestock.

It made sense now why he'd neglected to buy meat on grocery store runs and insisted his hunts would bear better fruit than packaged goods, and the more you thought about the connection, the stupider you felt.

All this time, he'd been feeding you…feeding your children human flesh?

How could be so blind to it, so caught up in his charm, and fail to notice what he'd do behind your back.

You threw up every time the thought crossed your mind…

The season's cold chill mirrored the steady rage building in you as days turned into weeks.

Reaching its height by the time Christmas Eve rolled around.

Rosie and Angelique had decided to stay and help you and the twins until your health became stable again.

One woman was always at your side to help, allowing you to nurse Adonis and Antoinette in peace when needed.

In the first few days of your recovery, you didn't remember much of anything, falling in and out of sleep rapidly, but when you could stay awake for most of the day, you refused to have either child out of your sight for more than a second.

Alastor had tried once after their birth to hold them again in your presence, but you forbade Rosie from letting him in the room.

The evident hurt in his eyes when you viciously glared at him that day tore your heart to pieces, but you just couldn't bear to see him pretend everything was bright and dandy.

Like there wasn't a rotting body in the basement…

Angelique tried to soothe you both in one way or another, convincing Alastor to give you space and time, suggesting that he focus on his radio show rather than holing up in his study or going on impractical 'hunts' to cope with your anger towards him.

He took her advice well, putting on a mask for weeks on end as he carried on being New Orleans's most prominent radio star, and though the frequency of his hunts slowed, the few he did venture on were extremely bloody.

You weren't as easily swayed by her attempts to heal the rift between you and Alastor.

Barely eating or sleeping for quite a while, afraid to close your eyes and replay the bloody memory he'd caused, and overtly protective of the twins as a result.

However, eating and neglecting rest didn't last only a short time.

Both factors affected your productivity as a new mother and healing stage.

You eventually took Amgelique's advice, eating your meals in total, resting more, and enjoying your children's presence.

They were quite the duo.

They were generally quiet babies but incredibly active when not asleep.

You took pride in nursing them, fleeting Rosie holding one while you fed the other, both of you cooing at their gentle mannerisms.

Your mood improved drastically by Christmas Eve, the strength to walk around the house without helpfully given back to you, and the pain in your head significantly lessened.

Jovial as ever, you took slow and sure steps to leave the stuffy room, bathe and dress yourself, and be drawn out by the smell of delicious food being made downstairs.

You could hear Rosie playing with the twins, her soft laughter wafting through the house as two other voices lingered under it.

You nearly turned back to the room, recognizing Alastors voice, grimacing as he laughed at something his mother had said, but after a few calming self-reflective breaths, you continued down the winding staircase.

Rosie was the first to spot you, dressed in a simple red and green evening gown, ready to celebrate the night.

You almost envied her vitality, opting for a simple white and red dress and a large red bow to hold your hair up in an elegant pin style.

She gasped softly as you descended the last few steps, halting her hand that tenderly swayed your children's bassinet.

"You're up! Oh, how wonderful…you look lovely, my dear!"

She rushed to hug you, careful not to squeeze you too tight, as a small giggle left you:

"I'm still finding my bearings, but thanks to you and Angelique, I feel much better."

Rosie took hold of your hands in both silk-gloved ones, leading you into the warmly lit parlor.

She left you to admire how beautifully decorated it was as she sat you down next to her on the sofa.

A pine tree was tucked in the corner, standing massively next to the front bay windows, decorated with fairy lights and traditional ornaments.

Garlands were hung in the same fashion, and other festive adornments covered your home's interior as far as you could see, and your heart fluttered a bit at the sight.

You usually took on decorating for the holidays. Alastor would help, of course, but you enjoyed doing it more than he did.

You expected nothing to be set out since you'd been unwell for so long…

"How'd you manage all this, Rosie?" You glanced around in awe one last time, focusing on the babbling newborns comfortably loaded in their business before you.

They reached for your hand as it lazily slid into the bassinet, warm little palms encircling your fingers, bringing comfort to you.

Rosie watched the loving exchange like a proud sister before answering your question.

"We did nothing, dear. This was all Alastors doing…"

You stiffened, glancing at her in disbelief, "All of this? By himself?"

She nodded slowly, reaching for her glass of white wine sitting on a side table.

"Mhm. I'm sure he knew how important the holiday season is to you…"

It was true.

Alastor did know how much you cared about this time of year.

It reminded you of your mother; your few memories of her were from this season, fond quips of true joy you tried to preserve by upholding her enthusiasm for all that Christmas brings.

"A cherishable, loving, pure spirit ready to start a new. Many forget that the only gift that truly matters to another person is one of understanding. Remember that, my love…never let it go.."

Her words rang in your head as your heart twisted, flashes of your memories with Alastor plaguing you.

"How is he?" you asked tentatively, not looking away from the twins as Rosie sighed, "Not well. He wants to speak to you, dear. See the children for more than a second, too. Won't you give him a chance?.."

She placed a hand on your shoulder, her expression softening as you blinked back tears.

"Rosie…I…I want to, but if he spills another lie from his mouth, I'm afraid I might lose myself to rage…"

A beat of silence hung in the air, a single tear running down your cheek as the thought of facing Alastor made you dizzy with anxiety.

"I'm grateful for your help, for his love, but you've all left me in the dark, and now that I've grown wise to it all, I can't help but wanna hate him…"

"Y/n…we- he was just trying to protect you…"

You stifled a sob, crying quietly as you nodded, "I know… Rosie. I know god damn well what Al was trying to do, but if he'd told me from the beginning, I wouldn't drive myself mad in the first place. All that talk of being devoted to me, and he turns around and lies."

You scowled at the carpeted floor, swiftly wiping your face clean before standing from thorofare with a newfound determination:

"I won't stand for it any longer, er, and thinking about it sours my mood. If you'll excuse me, I need a stiff drink…"

—————- ——————- ——————

Angelique paused in her task as you slipped into the kitchen, not saying a word to her son.

You passed her with a small smile directed only at her and her.

She returned it, picking up a stack of dishes to place on the dining room table before silently gliding out of the room.

You frowned at the loss of her company, aware she'd left hoping that you and Alastor would talk earnestly, but you had no intention of even looking his way.

Your husband felt you whisk past him to the wine cabinet, halting his focus on the pot of gumbo he was preparing to turn your way.

"Y/n," he uttered your name, a low call that made your head spin and your chest tight.

You refused to respond, pouring yourself a moderate glass of wine before taking a long sip, and as the bittersweet alcohol dissipated on your tongue, you turned to leave the area.

Alastor tried again to gain your attention, his face stoic as he reached for you.

With a bit of force, he successfully pulled you into his side. You scowled, instinctively tugging your waist from his iron grasp, but he didn't relent his hold—not once.

"Leave me be," you spat quietly, grip hardening on your wine glass and your bright eyes darkening with unbridled rage as his hazel eyes softened on you.

"I will when you let me explain myself…"

Both of his hands found your waist, shifting your reluctant body to press up against his.

You stiffened at the familiar contact, missing his embrace momentarily and slightly distracted by the warmth he emitted.

Weeks without physical touch from him felt tortuous, and you intended to endure it for a while longer, but feeling him so close if only for a moment- made your resolve less than weak.

Alastor pressed his weight against the counter, head coming to rest on your shoulder as he inhaled the scent of your perfume.

A crisp, sweet smell he missed dearly.

It was one of the many traits about you that calmed him, kept him tethered to sanity, and going weeks without breathing you in affected him nearly the same as the lack of his touch did to you.

You twisted and squirmed in his hold, growing angrier by the second as he held you still, "Alastor Hartifelt, let me go this instant-!"

You grit your teeth, hand poised to fling the wine in your glass onto him as a well-deserved deterrent, but he's quick to hold it still.

He tugs the glass from your hand, disregarding the slight spill it causes, and you gasp softly from the use of sudden strength in a simple motion.

Alastor sets the crystal glass down, taking another deep breath before speaking to you in a tone you could only describe as hollow.

"You've seen it, haven't you, darling? What takes up my time in the basement, yes? I know it must terrify you, dear. I know, but you must realize I never meant…to hurt you. Believe me when I say I kept my deeds hidden to protect you…"

Not an ounce of regret was in his words; you hadn't expected any.

Alastor was never the type to act upon something he'd despise later.

You knew him well enough to see an act of utter violence like this made sense to him in some way.

It was never the thought of him being dangerous, the thought of him being murderous, or prone to aggression that had angered you.

He hid it like you hadn't stood by his side through the worst times.

The secret he kept wasn't horrific for its brutality but disgraceful in its relevance to your love for him.

"Protect me?.." you grimaced, looking into his eyes with burning rage, "What about trusting me. To hell with why you kill. It's a matter of you hiding such a secret from me in the first place. I am your wife, your equal, and yet you lied to me as if I were a mere child! A pet you could put in a cage and show off but never bond with…"

The anger slowly left your tone, gaze softening on his amber eyes, "I understand you don't care much for the term 'love' but whatever we have can’t exist without us fully trusting in one another. That is why I am angry with you. That is why I've distanced myself, Alastor. Nothing more. Nothing less."

You lowered your head, feeling a tad dramatic but glad to have said what was on your mind.

Alastor pursed his lips in deep thought for a moment, but soon, his deep laughter resonated around the room.

Your head snapped up at the sound, one brow lifted in pure confusion as he chuckled heartily, "And what's so funny now?" You tutted in frustration, prepared to drench him in wine again, but you thought better of it as his laughter died.

"It's just that…" he paused, staring into your curious eyes as they took in his lazy smile, "I seem to have forgotten why I fell for you in the first place, sweetheart."

Alastor's grin grew as your expression hardened, "What does that have to do with this conversation-"you began to become livid again until his large hands cupped your rounded cheeks gently.

You froze as the gentle contact warmed your skin, focus paper thin as he leaned in close enough for your noses to touch, "My darling doe, you have never betrayed me once. In all our time together, your faith in me has never wavered. I've killed for you more times than I can count, but that could never amount to the love you hold for me. Even after discovering my darkest sin, you look upon me gracefully… my wife, my angel, you are truly curious to a man."

His sentiments muddled your thoughts, every sweet word true, holding an edge of obsession.

Your heart fluttered hearing them, the sharpness in his eyes reinforcing their weight.

You gulped gently as he brushed his lips over your parted ones, teasing a kiss you weren't ready to give.

"I must've been mistaken when I belittled my love for you in the sense of devotion…."

His eyes drifted half closed as you hummed in delight, feeling his heavy breaths fan your mouth.

Whiskey and twinge of sweetness rolled off his tongue, an inviting mixture you didn't dare to forget, "Then correct yourself," you muttered in response in hopes of reliving your craving for him.

Alastor struggled to surpass his smirk as you raised your hands to rest over his, gingerly pressing your nails into his skin and shivering at the familiar roughness it had.

"How do you suggest I do that, dear. I've caused you quite a lot of trouble, and there's only so much a man can do."

His teasing stirred heat in your core, a sensation you hadn't felt in weeks and thoroughly missed.

"First, you'll swear to never…never lie to me again. No matter the circumstances."

He hummed lowly, eyeing the low-hanging ruffle sleeves of your dress as they inched downward the more you pressed into him.

"You have my word, ma chere."

The response was automatic on his part, driven by the soft whine you let out as one of his hands shifted to knead your hip.

The gesture brought your lower half closer to his, leaving no space between you, but as distracting as it was, you continued on with your demands.

"You won't ever feed me or our children human meat again…without my explicit permission."

Alastor frowned for a moment but agreed nonetheless, "Alright."

You nodded, inhaling sharply shortly after as his hand gently tugged your dress skirt.

It would be right to swat him away and restrict his touch from you a bit longer, but the instant his fingertips brushed the skin of your thigh, you couldn't help but blush and bit back a whine.

"A-and you'll never put yourself, this family, our life together…in harm's way. Promise me, you'll continue to be discreet Alastor…"

The urge to moan gripped you entirely as his touch burned your bare skin, only silenced by the immediate kiss he allowed you before muttering sincerely, "You have my word, darling…"

You shuddered at his oath, knowing he meant every word, pouring his intent to keep it through the exchange of heated kisses that ensued after.

You held onto him tight, trying to remain as quiet as possible as his tongue found yours, forcing it to obey his lead and his hands roaming your body for the same sign of submission.

You gave in effortlessly, head tilting back as he marked your neck, gently pricking your skin with his teeth, gliding his tongue over the most minor bruises he left.

A wave of shivers captured you, disorienting and intensifying with Alastor's every move.

Your hands gripped his broad shoulders, bracing yourself for him to inevitably lift you onto his waist, but the action never occurred.

The sound of Rosie's quick footsteps approaching and her distinct singing song calling of your names made you both separate.

Alastor yanked your dress down quickly, clearing his throat with a cheeky grin while you hid your face in his chest out of slight embarrassment as the blonde glided into the kitchen.

"Mrs. Hartifelt wants to know if the gumbo is ready, Al. How's it coming along, hm?" She chirped cheerfully, pretending not to notice your bright red, blushing face hidden in his embrace.

"Oh, it's just about done, my dear. Just had to give it another taste test, right chere?"

You stared up at him in awe as he brought a hand to your left cheek, gliding his thumb over your heated skin, lovingly and intently staring back at you.

"Isn't that right, chere," Alastor asked once more, enjoying the nervousness in your gaze as you nodded in jaded agreement, "That's right, Rosie.." you muttered dreamily, too focused on your husband to catch her knowing smirk before she hummed in understanding while sashaying back into the parlor.

"Mrs. Hartifelt, Al says it's coming along well!" Rosie shouts in delight as she leaves you both alone, accentuating the phrase's double meaning to the older lady tending to her new grandchildren in the warmly lit parlor room.

Both women's smirks grew wildly, hearing you giggle amid Alastor's flirtatious teasing moments later.

"Seems it is," Angelique mumbled assuredly as Rosie sat beside her, admiring the tiny humans smiling in their sleep.

Christmas Eve wouldn't be so dim after all…

xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Whew…..you all okay after this? No? Too bad it gets better then way worse… A real Shakespearean tragedy/romance. IM TAKING MY ASS TO BED NOW GOOD NIGHT 😴

TAGS ❤️: @rapturenyx @michi-keinz @shealizxx @nissrinina @destinyisastar @bubblegumheartsy @sailorsmouth @aestheticgals-blog @rameisa @ellesette @gasiacos @marvelgirl123 @dinosaur-crime-scene

[ BONUS CONTENT + ]

Did you fall more in love with him seeing this? I certainly did…Credit to creator ❤️

[sebsbarnes]

Hi there!

I first of all wanted to start off by saying that I’m absolutely obsessed with your work- it’s amazing!!

Secondly, I was wondering if I could make a request?

Can I request a tangerine x reader where they’re out at a bar or something and there’s this guy being really pervy and creepy and just won’t leave her alone?

Obviously the reader can handle herself but they just got back from a long and tiring mission, and she quite honestly doesn’t have the energy.

So of course tan comes to the rescue 🤭🤭

I hope this is okay, and if not please feel free to ignore this!!

Have a wonderful day love and don’t forget to drink lots of water <33

heey!! i really appreciate the kind words, it keeps me going! i hope you've had a good day/night and if not tm will be better! and i hope u enjoy this!

bar fight || tangerine

tangerine x f!reader

warnings: harassment, fighting

word count: 1.6k+

masterlist

a/n: im drawing inspo from something that happened to me one time at a bar which will be the reason tan steps in here but of course tangerine was not there to save me although that would've been lovely

"just one pint! two, two! i swear and then we all can leave," lemon pleaded, "we can leave the second i finish it. i'll even take the last sip on the way out the door," he tried enticing you, rubbing his shoulder up and down against yours.

"i reek, lemon. and tangerine looks like he nose dived into green and purple paint," you grimaced slightly at the bruises forming on tan's face.

lemon grabbed your wrist dragging you closer to the bar doors, "is it even a real bar if at least ten people don't smell awful and your shoes don't stick to the floor?"

the color of your eyes disappeared into the back of your head, "let's go."

lemon did a little victory dance before swinging the door open which tangerine held for you to walk in. the fatigue was riddled on both of your faces. the three of you had just gotten back into town after a long and very successful mission. you were all for celebrating but tonight you'd rather celebrate with a burning hot shower.

"you 'right by yourself? i'm going to head to the balcony for a few," tangerine asked, waving his pack of cigarettes in the air.

"yeah go for it, i'll manage," you replied. tangerine gave you a small nod before turning his back and sliding outside.

the inside of the bar was packed and you were shuffling around with your shoulders pulled in to try and avoid hitting people. it was loud, smelly, and yes, the floors were grossly sticky. it only annoyed you more, but, you tried having a positive attitude about it. 'two drinks' is all you kept telling yourself. after what felt like years you made it to the bar. you were sandwiched against a girl with blonde hair and a guy who weaseled his way in between you and an older gentleman. you could feel his eyes burning holes in the side of your head and the last thing you wanted to do was look over, but, it was becoming too much.

"hi!" he nearly yelled as you glanced over quickly.

"hey," you said curtly, bringing your lips into a straight line.

"i'm craig. what's your name?" he asked leaning in closer to you. you gave him your name, refusing to look back at him as you felt his eyes examine you. the drink you ordered appeared in front of you and you scribbled your name on the receipt.

"what's that you're drinking?" craig asked but you pretended not to hear him as you slinked into the crowd, hoping to lose him.

it worked for a while, you found some space near a wall to stand. there was a group of girls next to you singing loudly and dancing around. you couldn't lie and say it wasn't infectious as one of the drunk girls grabbed your hand and started dancing with you, which of course you joined in. it was fun and it kept your mind off how tired your body was.

"thought i lost you there!" you flinched away, startled, by craig's nervous laughter beside you. you looked down at the man who stood inches below you and gave him an award-winning fake smile.

"you're very pretty," he said puffing his chest out slightly.

"thanks."

"you don't talk much, eh? is it because you're nervous around me?" craig asked his eyes looking down at your legs.

"just tired!" you exclaimed with fake enthusiasm, gulping down the tequila in your cup.

"you seem a bit lonely, are you by yourself tonight?" he persisted, inching closer to you with each word despite you stepping to the side each time.

"nope!" you retorted, popping the 'p' and turning to find the bathroom.

you stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes and finished your drink. the eyebags seemed to protrude out of your face as you examined them in the mirror. now, lemon had to almost be done with his drinks. that man can pound drinks back. so, with high hopes you left the bathroom to go find a seat at the bar and wait until lemon found or texted you or hopefully tangerine was done smoking.

there was a vacant stool in the dead center which you jumped on. your elbow rested against the bar, head in hand, absentmindedly watching the tv in the corner. it was a boxing match that you had zero interest in but it provided enough entertainment. you shut your eyes tight as you felt the familiar, unwelcomed, presence over your shoulder.

"look, i think you are really pretty. hotter than anyone else here and look at me. any girl would want me and the fact you're trying to play hard to get is starting to really piss me off," craig ranted but you refused to turn your head and pretended like the noise of the bar drowned his voice out.

"you're right, i'm sorry. that was rude of me, i apologize. i just noticed you the moment you walked into the bar and i needed to talk to you. you're really beautiful and i know i'd treat you right. whoever you're dating must not be treating you right because i can feel that you want me."

tangerine blew out one last cloud of smoke and tossed his cigarette into the ashtray. it was far more peaceful outside but he knew he had to go in and find lemon, who he knew was more than two drinks in and probably friends with ten more people. tangerine opened the door back into the bar and scanned the room. that's when he saw a man with his hand on your throat.

you ignored craig's presence until you no longer could. he was silent for a few moments after his rant. suddenly, you saw a hand snake into your field of vision and you felt his hand pressing firmly against your throat. you were shocked for a moment before realizing what was going on. craig's thumb and middle finger were applying harsh pressure to your throat making it hard to breathe. then, you felt the pressure shift in his hand from choking to pushing. craig pulled you to the ground by your throat, your body flying backward off the stool and slamming into the floor.

you saw a figure jump over your body and loud commotion next to you but you were too disorientated at the moment from the wind being knocked out of you. one of the bartenders leaped over the bar and pulled you up and shielded you from the commotion. that's when you realized it was tangerine who had hopped over and started beating craig to the floor. it was like a scene straight out of the boxing match you were just watching. tangerine towered over craig in height and build and the anger in his face was terrifying.

tangerine was throwing the smaller man across the bar with punches. he'd punch craig in the face to which he stumbled and then tangerine would trip him. his body would fall to the ground and tangerine would pick him up by the shirt before launching him into the now vacant stools.

"please!" craig pleaded, blood running from his eyebrow. tangerine grabbed the back of his neck and slammed his face into the bar.

"you like hurting women? huh?" he screamed, "you think you're so tough, look at you now! fuckin' pathetic piece of shit. what? it's not fun being picked on and harassed?"

tangerine was raging. his face and chest were red with anger and the vein in his forehead pulsated. he had wild eyes similar to when he was on a mission. you watched as he slipped his hand into his pants pocket, slipping on his brass knuckles. before he was able to crush the bastard's nose lemon swooped in from behind and grabbed tangerine's bicep. the bouncers from outside grabbed craig by the neck of his shirt and kicked his bloody body out of the bar. lemon's hands were on tangerine's shoulders trying to calm his brother down. finally, tangerine's chest rose and fell at a normal pace and he turned his head and noticed you. lemon released his shoulders letting him walk to you.

tangerine cupped your face and craned his neck down a bit, "are you alright love?"

you laughed slightly uncomfortable that a big scene was made because of you, "yeah... just shocked really."

"did he hurt you in any other way?" he asked with softness.

"no. no... i didn't think it would turn into that. he had been bothering me the whole time i should've been more forceful but i was just too tired to really care," you sighed.

"no," tangerine said sternly, now eye level with you, "none of this is your fault, okay? that prick should know better than to continue to harass someone who is clearly not accepting their advances. and the fact he fuckin' put his hands on you. fuck i'll..." tangerine gritted his teeth now standing upright and looking towards the door craig was kicked out of.

"tan! no. you getting arrested is not worth it. i'm okay, okay? he got what he deserved and i really don't want to be here any longer," you pleaded, grabbing onto his forearm to force him to look at you.

tangerine caressed your head, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and anger. tangerine guided you outside and when the door shut he pulled you into a tight but gentle hug, mindful of your back.

"i'm so fuckin' sorry love. i should've stayed with you the whole night," he whispered into your hair.

you pulled back from the hug, "mmm no, hey, hey- that's not what we are going to do. you have nothing to be sorry for and i'm thankful for you and not just now when you beat dickheads up for me, but always."

[ruby-winchester24]

Craig Tucker headcanons!

{sfw+nsfw} {fem reader}

when you first met Craig your freshman year of high school you were put off by his “i don’t give a fuck” demeanor

but after getting to know him, you found out he was just a sweet kid with many walls

when you first started dating it came as a surprise to the school, that Craig wasn’t fully gay

Tweek was hurt at first to see his past lover move on but he decided to move on also

he is extremely territorial of you, he hates when other men try to talk to you

during football games he can’t stop staring at you on the sidelines in your cheerleading uniform

for homecoming week you wore his jersey for there homecoming game and he was smitten

pda is sometimes okay, he likes to hold your hand out waist when you walk

he is a secret admirer, even when you are dating he will sit there and admire your beauty

writes love notes to you for every month anniversary

since stripe passed away you guys got a new guinea pig and named him spot

his love language is physical touch, he loves holding you close

is super big on cuddles, every time you hang out there is a cuddle sesh

says i love you in the first month because he is smitten with you

plays with your hair

the first time you ever saw him cry is when you had your first fight,

it scared you at first because you have never seen him so vulnerable 

“the reason why i am upset is because they don’t have good intentions, they want to use you!”

“your the only person i love, i would give you the whole world if i could”

comforting him was a little bit of a struggle because you didn’t know how

when you cry it’s the same for him

he doesn’t know how to respond to your emotions

ok Fridays you and Craig’s gang hang out at Tolkien’s house because he rich, and they have a pool

you and Jimmy are besties 👯

he loves when he lays on your chest so you run your hands through his hair

is actually a very extroverted person when you get to know him better

6’3, fucker is tall

when he kisses you he holds your head with both of his hands on each side of your head

always updates you on what’s happening when your not in class together

“dude Cartman just swung at Kyle”

“ wtf why💀”

“because remember how we have a presentation about WWII?”

“yeah..?”

“well Cartmans presentation was about hitler being right about jews and shit like that and obvi pissed kyle off and he just swung out of nowhere and it was great”

“damn i wish i had history with you guys😭”

late night drives are very common for you, it’s when you can be alone and talk about anything

always kisses your neck or forehead

when you are stressed he will rub your back until you fall asleep

he loves movies and makes you watch them with him

is you do any activities, he is always there with a smile on your face watching your every move

for valentine’s day he gets you a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers and a poem he wrote for you

he sells vapes for easy money

gives you free ones if you want any

his family really likes you

his mom always tells you stories of when he was young, and you guys always gossip🤭

his dad thinks your a good match for his son

Tricia really likes you and asks to hang out with you guys all the time

Craig usually says no😞

your name for him in his phone is “Mrs Tucker🫶🏼”

will always listen to what you have to say he is more of a listener then anything

when he gives you a sweater of his or a stuffed animal, he sprays his cologne on it

he loves when you wear his hat he thinks it looks so cute on you

always tells you how beautiful you look, it is an everyday occurrence

he sees you being together for a long time in the future but he doesn’t want to say anything to jinx it

he really likes eye contact, it feels so sensual to him

tells you all about his hyper fixations, aka all the space facts he knows

always asks if you ate today

is extremely good at reading people and knows exactly when your upset

“hun what is wrong?”

“nothing is”

“yes, something made you upset your shoulders got tense”

“you know me too well”

his parents are pretty layed back so they let you have sleepovers

once his dad flipped you off and it scared the shit out of you because you thought you did something wrong

almost all the photos you have together, Craig’s flipping off the camera🤦🏽‍♀️

he really likes to lift it helps relieve stress

he has a photo of you in his car, locker, phone case and room

you made a scrapbook of all the things you have done together, it contains dried flowers, the love notes he gives you, pictures of you guys and special dates

he def listens to R&B

always play fights with you, he usually body slams you on the bed

when you facetime him he always puts spot on the phone so he can say hi to his mom

you babysit Tricia whenever his parents are away and Craig is busy

she loves you though so it’s always a win win

if you ever ask Craig to be in a Tiktok with you it always takes you begging him for 19 straight minutes

when he snaps you it’s always a photo of him doing this face 😐

he loves the simple things in life like taking a walk or a picnic with you

calls you Mrs Tucker in front of his friends

if anyone tries to flirt with you he will go psycho

he will rip that guy a new one and swing, and yes it’s happened before

he hums or taps his finger to a beat when concentrating

he loves music and has a collection of vinyl records

sometimes he will put on his Frank Sinatra vinyl and you guys will slow dance

NSFW!!

he is a dom 100%

low key a sadist, he is also very kinky (it’s always the quite ones)

he loves to see you a wimpering mess begging to be touched by him

his favorite is edging

to see you so excited about your release but then being able to take it away makes him feral

6’5 inches but he is pretty girthy

he loves toys, especially paddles

brat tamer all the way

if you have been bad he will bend you over his knee and make you count and say thank you after each spank

he is not lacking muscle, god no, his arms are very defined and he has a great v line and soft abs

is very rough during sex usually

if he is in a very romantic mood it will be slow and passionate

he loves to mark you up, especially on your thighs

loves degrading you,

“god your such a slut”

“you stupid whore, you like it when i fuck you senseless, yeah?”

“be quite slut, you don’t want to be punished, huh?”

loves face fucking

his favorite position is doggy style because he can pull your hair and arch your back

is very into bondage and always practices on you

when he does he makes sure to be careful the first time to make sure it’s safe, if he hurt you he would never forgive himself

nipple clamps are also one of his favorites and gags

he loves to see you tied up, a submissive mess, begging to cum

his favorite part about you is your boobs and stomach

loves to be called sir or daddy

when you first did he swore he almost died because of how hard he came

really likes to go raw, he loves how it feels and really likes to cum on your face

when you suck him off he holds your head so he can be in control

loves to give you head, usually overstimulates you on purpose

“p-please sir i c-can’t anymore!”

“yes you can, i need to taste you again”

aftercare is usually really sweet

he usually apologizes if he went to far or said something that hurt your feelings

will get you water and ibuprofen incase your sore

he will get you all cleaned up and dress you

holds you in his arms with a grip of steel

kisses your forehead and your lips

.

.

i really enjoyed writing this, and i’m always open to requests i love writing for you guys. i hope you enjoyed this❤️

[alovember]

Bro I have a question for you, what is your favorite South Park headcanon?

Ok ik you said my favorite but I got carried away and typed out a bunch so here’s a list of some lighthearted sp headcanons I have

Kenny and Kyle game the most together and get really competitive about who’s won more games (aka Kenny is really good and Kyle likes winning)

Stan cannot stand red wine, he will drink hard liquor straight, but tried wine once bcs his mom buys it and swore it off

as a teenager Cartman learns he can open credit cards in his name and he ends up opening 6-7 accounts and we all know this doesn’t end well but somehow incredibly doesn’t tank his score

Wendy is president of debate club, Kyle and Cartman are banned from debate club after one meeting

Butters falls for phone scams and Kenny helps him get his money back

Tolkien and Stan will ride bikes around their farms when they get mind numbingly bored and see who can go the fastest down the country roads

Butters and Tweek like arts and crafts the most out of the boys and will hang out to do them, Kenny joins sometimes and Craig if he can put Red Racer on in the background

Craig and Tweek get noise cancelling headphones and benefit greatly, tho they often accidentally jump scare each other a lot

Stan likes volunteering at animal shelters and drags Kyle along, much later in Highschool Stan ends up working part time there

Bebe and Wendy are menaces together and love pranking people, specifically people they have beef with in the moment

Kyle is the first to get his license, and often picks up Stan from his farm house to get away from family/his dad

The main four are always split up if they’re in the same classroom as they get older, every teacher learns the hard way

[that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald]

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 (+ 𝐁𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬)?

—❢—

×A/N×

Omg Tumblr actually have WORD LIMIT?! I didn't know it-

I wanted to upload this post with Craig's gang reactions, but Tumblr stopped me-

So now I have to make an another post about Craig and his gang-

Nvm- I hope you guys will enjoy this!

Oh and there are probably some spelling mistakes bc I wrote this at late night and I didn't look through it- sorry :")

×❢ About my work ❢×

fluff, some curse, all the way fluff, Stan's part is a little bit longer, bc I gave him plot, the reader can be gender neutral, they/them pronouns used for the reader, pet names (like baby, babe, hon, etc), the reader is in a romantic relationship with the characters and I think that's all-

All credit of the gifs goes to the og creator!

Fandom: South Park

Character(s): Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Butters Stotch, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Y/N|The Reader|You

Ship(s): The Characters x Y/N|The Reader|You

Type: Headcanons

ー❢ー

★ Stan Marsh ★

• Stan played with his video games on your side

• and you got bored of watching it

• you looked at your boyfriend who concentrated very hard about what he was doing

• he looks so cute when he tries to focus on something this hard

• he seemed lost in the virtual world, so you choosed that it's time to bring him back to reality

• he got red so quickly

• his face is all red and omg he can't hold back his vomit

• You looked over the game what said “Game Over”.

"I'm sorry hon, I didn't mean to disturb you." you said as you looked back at your boyfriend who was red as a tomato.

"N-no! It's okay!" he looked up at you with a soft smile on his face. He got closer so you could rest your head on his shoulder as he holds you. "I can do this later." he put the console away. "So what should we do next, babe?"

• he will probably give it back by giving you a kiss on your cheek or on your neck

• it's not important if you do it in private or in public

• he doesn't mind it actually

• he just gets flustrated very easily

• but be prepared Cartman's "eww get a room" thing if you do it in front of the guys

★ Kyle Broflovski ★

• he actually prefers it in private because of Cartman

• Cartman would be like "(Y/N) IS A SLUT FOR KAHL AGAIN!"

• but he definitely loves it when you do it ♡

• he just gets so fast as red as his hair

• he won't give it back bc he is afraid to do it

• he will actually ask you so he could give the kiss back

• "Oh my gosh, Kyle. Of course you can give it back!" you giggled because of how red and cute he was.

• He says thank you by giving soft kisses to your face.

★ Eric Cartman ★

• WELL

• I can imagine Eric as the typical “ "Eww what was that?" "A kiss." "Gross... Do it again." ” person

• yk that I'm an Eric kinnie, but seriously I can't imagine him like touchy or a lovely dovey person

• he doesn't get so flustrated of it, actually he doesn't show any signs of he's liking it or not

• but trust me, he does like it

• he really does, he just don't want to look like a cherry infront of you

• so he acts like he wouldn't care

• if you don't want him to be a hot head, do it in private

• please do it in private

• oh and don't prepare for return

★ Kenny McCormick ★

• same as Eric, he won't be so flustrated about it as the others

• but he LOVES it so much

• he does it with you as well, so it's not new for you two

• he doesn't care if you two in public or not

• and he will give the kiss back with no hesition

• probably he will give much more than you did give to him

• sweet, loveful smooches all the way!

• "Alright, Ken, that's enough!" you giggled as you tried to stop him from giving to your neck an another soft kiss.

• a little blush still appeares on his face, but believe me, he's very happy about the surprise kisses!

★ Leopold "Butters" Stotch ★

• the colors changing so fast on his face

• he really appreciates tho

• if you do it after he had a long day, it will definitely cheer him up!

• he actually says thank you after it

• "O-Oh, well..." he can't even talk because of flustration! He's speechless! "Thank you, (Y/N)!" he sends a sweet, happy smile to you that appeares on his flushed cheeks.

• he loves it everywhere and everytime, so he doesn't actually care about privacy

• it's so fun to him!

• he will definitely return it!

[t0rturedangel]

Can we PLSS get more of creek x child reader ?? I loved it smm it’s literally my life support 💕😭‼️

╭ ☆ ➛ Creek x child ! reader Ꞌꞌ : The little craig

━ warnings / notes ; this is kinda rushed since i had a very limited amount time to post this, pacing is bad too <33 also ngl south park did post covid craig so dirty 😭 maybe ooc

" Honey ! " TWEEK mumbled as he called out for his husband, twitching slightly- something that has stayed with him even as he grew up. A head poked out from the kitchen and a voice spoke " Yes ? " " Uhm [ name's ] head teacher just called and- " " - and what ? " CRAIG asked, walking over- stretching and smiling when he heard the satisfying pops. The pair had been together since fourth grade, of courses with some in and out moments where they kept fighting of small petty things, breaking up then getting back together, it was a re-used cycle honestly, the last time they did repeat it was back in high school. Now the two of them are happily married with a little child they call their own.

" They want us to come to their office, [ name's ] in trouble " tweek sweat dropped, slightly concerned as to why their little angelic child got in trouble for the first time ever " Why do you think they are?- did they get into a fight??? did they- " " Baby- its okay, lets just go and we'll find out " Craig comforted his husband, ruffling tweek's hair and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek this did actually seem to calm tweek down letting him nod " Yeah- lets go "

Through out the ride Craig was making up excuses and apologies in his head- he knew exactly why you were in trouble and in hindsight he didn't want Tweek to why you were. It'd be the end of him if tweek did and while craig was mentally panicking- Tweek was physically panicking, all different scenarios running through his head- if you did get into a fight then you (and the child who fought you) would be in so much trouble he swore to god. Getting to the school didnt take long either, the pair rushed into the main office and were taken to the head master's office.

Entering, they saw you- who was giving the head master a little glare, your arms tucked together- and your headmaster who was staring at the two who came in, extremely serious " Mr and . . . Mr Tucker " They began " Please take the seat " Tweek sat down on the only spare chair next to you while craig stood behind you " What happened? " Tweek began " Your child- [ name ] had- " " - had what !? " Tweek's panic rose again only to be shushed by the headteacher, a glare was sent their way by you and craig " Your child has been- flipping children off for all of break time " .

Silence.

" [ name ] ! " the head teacher's voice raised as you flipped them off for the umpteenth time " Stop flipping me off ! " " No! Fuck you ! I only flipped them off because they insulted me! " Craig was so dead. " [ name ] stop that. " Tweek spoke calmly, causing you to shut up instantly and craig to start inwardly crying. " Thank you for letting me know- i'll talk with them " Nodding at the head, the three of you left.

When the three of you were in the car, you and your dad waited for tweek to blow up- but fortunately or unfortunately- he didnt, only staring at the two of you, " [ name ]- honey, good job on standing up for yourself, but you're not getting your iPad for a week " an ashamed frown was quickly relpaced with a sweet smile , happy you got off without getting in too much trouble where as your other dad wasnt as lucky " Craig- i'll be talking with you at home about teaching our little kid to flip people off " " Tweek- babe- I just wanted [ name ] to be like a mini me- a mini craig ! " he tried to defend himself.

" Thats not going to save you " " hahahaha ! Daddy's going to get it now ! "

[bizarrelittlemew]

okay. i just watched the movie Snakeskin (2001). i bought a physical dvd in the year of our lord 2024 because Taika has 6.5 minutes of screentime in it. and now i'm sitting here trying to process wtf i just watched asjdhfdjsk so here are the highlights (thank you Meow @blakbonnet for going through this experience with me)

first of all, enjoy these screenshots from the trailer (i'm still not sure if they're mandatory disclaimers?):

...but say yes to snake imagery, because there will be a lot of it

we are definitely in 2001. this is extremely apparent throughout the whole movie. but especially from this girl's hair

Taika's character (Nelson) and his girlfriend (Daisy, pictured above) drive around in a repurposed ice cream truck and sell drugs btw. it's called Mr. Trippy.

main character Alice (Melanie Lynskey) is a huge fan of ✨America✨. her best friend is in love with her but she only wants Bad Boys. also said friend's name is Johnny but it's actually Craig

ALSO Craig-slash-Johnny is played by Dean O'Gorman (Fili)??!?!?!?

their hobby is to drive around picking up hitchhikers but only those who look not boring

enter The American. this guy is the most American you have ever seen. americans wish they could be as American as this guy. no one else has ever Americaned harder.

as you can see, i'm not lying. he even says "howdy ma'am" so we're convinced he is a real American

three skinheads are after The American because he stole their drugs (i think). he also stole drugs from Nelson and Daisy, who now owe money and/or drugs to their boss, who also has beef with The American for reasons i'm still not totally sure of

The American not only steals drugs and money, he also has a real gun(!!!) and fucks pretty much everyone?

"darlin'. u gotta earn the raaaiht. ter wear snakeskins 😎"

oh my god the sunglasses emoji just reminded me of the fucking sunglasses oh no i'm not sure i can do this akjsdhjsk this will make sense later i promise

do not learn gun safety from this movie

at one point, there is a whole lotta sheep. we are, after all, in Aotearoa New Zealand. and ok this had the cutest moment of Taika yelling "SHEEPY" out of a car

there's a scene where uhm. uhhh no not gonna describe this i think but. yeah fair warning this movie has some period-typical homophobia let's just say 💀 this is the live reaction:

MOVING ON

if you enjoy the 2000s aesthetic of "look how edgy we are doing drugs" *colorful-haired people on couches in dark club* *echo-y laugh* *hallucinations* *it's mushrooms look it's mushrooms we're doing psychedelics* then this is the movie for you my friend

oh and Alice also did acid at some point while being very "i've totally done drugs before" about it (((doubt)))

GIRL GET UP FROM THAT DIRTY BATHROOM FLOOR

[New Zealand accent] "wow. six and acid." yes she is living all her american dreams as you can see

by nighttime, all three cars (main characters, mr. trippy, and the nazimobile) and the motorcycle (mr. drug boss) have made it pretty far up the mountain, it seems. cute moment between mr. drug boss and nelson. look how :D he is!

but you know a movie with Taika in it needs to have a father figure talk down to him so he gets very 🥺 right after this

lots of shit goes down (i won't spoil too much if by any chance you still want to watch this) and it turns out that the older skinhead guy is the best actor in the movie??

and NOW things get weird

Craig and The American have so much beef by now that they decide to solve it by russian roulette

Alice's reaction to this is something like "ugh, you guys are crazy, i can't watch this 🙄"

like she just walks away?? GIRL THEY'RE AIMING A REAL GUN AT EACH OTHER

she keeps COMPLETELY UNDERREACTING TO WHAT IS HAPPENING like (spoilers from now on) CRAIG IS SHOT AND KILLED and she doesn't even run over and she doesn't even say anything to The American?? WHO SHOT HIM???? he's just standing there??

and then. AND THEN.

ok this is where i fully lost it for several minutes and missed half the following scene. i was fucking HOWLING like actually crying with laughter, i couldn't see or breathe and my partner got worried ksjdhfdjsk ok so here's what happens

they're in the car. craig is obviously very dead. alice is kinda in denial i guess. The American tells her to shut his eyes and she's like why? BECAUSE HE DEAD GIRL!! but she doesn't, she doesn't shut his eyes, no, this is what she does instead

I COULD BARELY MAKE THIS GIF BECAUSE I KEPT LAUGHING TO THE POINT OF TEARS

NOT THE SUNGLASSES ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THE UNTAPPED MEME POTENTIAL HERE IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS

ANYWAY shortly after this we hear one of the funniest lines in the movie (and it's not even about the shooting and killing of Craig):

"fuck, Seth! this isn't fucking America, you can't just go around shooting everybody!"

oh yeah The American does have a name and it's Seth

i'll just post a few chat screenshots for the next part because i can't really describe it, i promise we're almost at the end

after some incredible visual effects™️, we end with Return of the Sunglasses (and me scaring my cats away because i was sobbing again)

i haven't even really talked about Taika's scenes much (the reason i watched this in the first place) because the ending took me OUT and honestly he is maybe the most normal person in this whole movie. one review (from the trailer) wrote this:

and yeah that may honestly be the best way to describe it. 10/10 movie watching experience, highly recommend. thank you for coming to my snek talk

[kenlvry]

omg i just read the “getting caught making out” and was wondering if you could do it with craig’s gang aswell🙈

craigs gang getting caught making out

an: HELLOO!! i am back from vegas, my brother wasted 300 on gambling and i have never been so motivated to kill someone, also i tried wine and.... yeah idk how to feel oh also i am not making jimmy bc like i said idk how to potray him im so sorry :( also like always 16-17

clyde

hes so mad at you rn, how could you!! while he was out in the field sweating his ass off you were on the bleachers talking so gently to a boy.

he looked over to you and the boy had his arm wrapped around you while you laughed at his joke. but thanks to you he played well, out of jealousy and anger. after the game that they won, cheers could be heard and only then did you realize you literally missed your boyfriend's game. so now here you two were beside the bleachers making out, after the game he sulked and you reassured him with a kiss but one thing lead to another and you two are making out.

your back pressed against the metals while his hand hold your head so you don't feel the metal, his other hand cupping your face holding you close, it was slow and wet, he kissed so well you loved it when you maked out with him or kissed him he was always so experienced.

since you two were on the side bleachers that was far away from everything nobody could really see, stan and craig was searching for him because coach wanted to take a team photo for him to display, searching everywhere and giving up sitting on one of the bleacers. "dude where the heck is he" stan groaned leaning backwards on his seat. then they heard small pants

they looked at each other in somewhat shocked "are they doing what i think their doing?" craig said and peeked thinking it was some perv doing nasty shit but it was his dear friend making out with his girlfriend "clyde?" stan called out and you two jumped staring at the other two, stan looked annoyed and sighed loudly "just say yr jealous stan" clyde winked tilting his head to stan "celebrations can wait, coach needs you" craig said and went down pulling him by his clothing basically dragging him "call me babe!" you laughed lightly knowing if you dont call he'd show up infront of your house

tolkien

you loved this moment right here, you and tolkien making out without a care in the world. it started with him asking you to come over, thinking he wanted to play games or something but when you arrived he wasn't there, checking every corner still no tolkien. then you checked the backyard and there he was in a suit standing while holding flowers and behind him a table for two people.

you laughed at the sudden surprise, him coming to you grabbed your hand and kissed it "mlady" you laughed again at the fancy name he gave you. walking to the table "if i knew we were having a dinner date I would've worn something more fancy" , he wanted to go somewhere more fancy but this town is far from fancy so he resorted to the next best thing. he pulled your chair and you sat while he slowly pushed it.

it was the cutest thing ever, you two had a nice time and before you know it you two were making out , it was so romantic his kisses were delicate. he held your waist gently and the other holding your back so you don't fall over from him leaning you downwards trying to be romantic, your hands held his face not breaking the contact. he holds you so dear and making out with him makes you feel like you two are a married couple growing old tgt

but before you could feed onto your delusions even more, you could hear a familiar voice calling out on tolkiens voice, it was his mom and dad. you both quickly broke the kiss and greeted them, tolkien said they weren't gonna come home until tmr but they stopped by to grab something and you thought you were going to be bribed 10 million dollars to break up with him but you saw them converse with smiles on their face.

leaving the house with a "invite her for dinner next time sweetie" you blushed a little "now where did we left off?" he said and pulled you for another kiss

tweek

boy oh boy does he look stressed rn, he is a cash register, waiter and the one making the coffee at the same time . every minute his twitching worsened, you laughed at how cute he was from the glass door, entering with a ding caused by the bell, tweek shouted "welcome to t-tweek bros!" from the counter while making coffee and when he saw who came he smiled so brightly

keeping professional and trying his best to not hug you tightly while crying about the shitty customers he just smiled while waiting for you to order. "just a water babe, dont wanna stress you out more" you smiled and he smiled back making the water and giving it to your table "how long til your shift ends?" you question while drinking your water "ngghh five minutes!" you hummed at the answer and he walked away

his shift finally ended so now here you two were making out in the break rooms, it was suppose to be him complaining abt the customers today but i guess he had other plans, it was sloppy, it seem as though he didnt even want to kiss you. you smiled at how rushed he was and pulled away, your current position is being pinned onto his locker while he cups your face, your hand on his shoulders pushing him. he looked slightly confused on why you pushed him but you flipped him over so he was pinned against the locker you being shorter grabbed his face and tip toeing to kiss him and he just hold your waist not knowing were else to place his hands

when it seemed like it was getting steady and he wasn't twitching as much the doors opened with a bitchy voice followed "tweek your shift ended right? lets pl- the fuck" tweek jumped at the sudden intrusion " argh! this isn't what it looks like! i mean it is! i mean!" you placed your hand on his shoulders and the rest of the boys walked in "damn tweek i didn't know you were kinky like that" kenny said making the others laugh "shut up!" tweek said as you all walked out, they continued to tease tweek abt this for a couple of days (by they i mean cartman and sometimes jimmy) until you forced them to stop, tweek always kiss at home now, specifically your house, hes too nervous someone will disturb you two.

craig

you dont know how it lead to this but uh here you two are in his kitchen making out... i know how though. you came over to hang out with him......maybe you shouldve come a little later bc rn red racer is on and he refuses to talk to you until after red racer is over. that show is sooooooooo boring to you, you can't say that though.

and damn how long is this show on?? its been 20 minutes now and you two are halfway through the episode. attempting to talk to him again he shushes you and says "wait until red racer is over" for the 100th time you sigh knowing you have to wait even though craig knew impatience is one of your strong personalities.

you decide to go to the kitchen to relieve your thrist, opening the fridge literally eyeing it for a drink and opening and closing it hoping a drink will appear. finally you see water right infront of your fucking eyes,you drink some then put it back, closing the fridge and when your about to turn around someone hugged you. the smell of the cologne was easy to identify, craigs dad.

jk its craig , he wouldn't let go even if you tried, "craig." you said sternly in defeat "sorry, red racer is over now what did you want to talk about?" laying his head in your shoulder, his breath on your neck. you sighed and just when you were about to run he flipped you over to the counter, he picked you up by your thighs and placed you on the counter his hand trapping you in "my parents aren't coming home for awhile" he winked "so?" you said in confusion and he just kissed you so yeah now you two are making out

his kisses was lovingly, and sensual... although he doesn't seem experienced he's good at kissing, you put your hand on his shoulders and his hands now on you waist one of them travelling further down to your thigh. as you two were enjoying the moment the door opened, quietly though. you two of course didn't hear it and kept making out and you hear something drop. you two looked over at the door to see almost every boy in the 4thgrade (the relevant ones ofc) butters has dropped his book and was in shock he ran home muttering smthn abt we can only kiss after marriage.

everyone just stood there staring at each other "so are you js gonna stand there?" craig broke the silence "do you want us to come to you then?" cartman said in a sarcastic tone which made craig flip him off "leave" and they left, wow. "isn't that too rude? poor them" you said pitifully looking back at the door. "forget them, your focus is me, where were we hm?" he said as his hands gently pulled you to look in his direction.

[green-alien-turdz]

i want you to go over each and every small character detail you add and explain i love your mind and your art dude no homo

Okay, here we go

STAN: Peace sign pin on his hat n sometimes wears preachy shirts about environmentalism bcuz he's an ecofag. He has faint old scars on his arms n thighs cuz he used to cut. He's often covered in bruises bcuz the CD shows are tightly packed n he will inevitably get hit at least once.

KENNY: Covered in shit load of scars bcuz dead as hell. He's missin a visible top tooth bcuz it got cracked as shit n asked the gang to pull it out for him, which they very poorly did. While he doesn't care about havin nice clothes, he likes comedy shirts bcuz he'll lose his mind if he can't make someone at least chuckle.

CARTMAN: Stretch marks bcuz he a big bitch. His hair is the exact same bcuz he got so used to it as a kid n now has anxiety about changin it (he will never admit this). He also likes wearin funny shirts bcuz Kenny got him goin on that. Bro also wears tight or more showin clothin when he feels cuz he couldn't give less of a shit about how other view his body.

KYLE: Mouth scars from Human Centipad (he just kinda ignores the scars now. He couldn't come to terms with them, so he just numbed himself to them), sh scars bcuz that bitch ain't well. Jewfro in full bloom as he just doesn't care n he REALLY needs to take better care of it bcuz it's so matted. CD shirt 95% of the time bcuz it's like his #1 comfort item.

MARJORINE (or Butters if we're goin by show name): She keeps her hair at that very specific length bcuz it's long enough to where she feels more feminine, but short enough to where her parents don't suspect anything (but gettin allowed to grow it that long took a lot of convincing). He eye left eye is scarred n not able to move much due to the throwin star incident (she is blind in that eye). She does have old sh scars from middle school when she had to come to terms with bein trans n she was extremely confused n conflicted about all of it. She likes wearin skirts bcuz it makes her feel more feminine, but has to get dressed once out in public, so it's somethin she can quickly get on and off if need be.

IKE: Long hair/mullet adjacent bcuz he is just likin the look right now n after Sheila made him keep his hair short for majority of his childhood, he's just kinda feelin out different things. I gave him freckles bcuz in Cartman Get's an Anal Probe, Kyle calls him a 'freckly kid'. Bro got them glasses bcuz he grew up on the computer. His front tooth is cracked n brown bcuz he n Kyle were wrestlin n Ike hit a table. And while it's not completely uncommon for people to start growin facial hair in middle school, Ike started to bcuz Canadians hit puberty earlier.

KAREN: She has a birth mark on the left side of her face (did this in placement for the weird maybe dirt stain she has in the show). Her hair is long n all over the place bcuz she doesn't really brush her hair (you can blame Kenny for the influence) n she cuts it herself but is not too great at layering. Growin up impoverished n around the ideologies that Stan n CD always talks about made her rather angry in the sphere of politics n human rights, so she is very vocal about her opinions of the shit she sees (which is why she always writes shit on her clothes). She can also sometimes be seen wearin a rasta coloured beanie, which was Kevin's before he died.

CRAIG: Usually wearin his work hoodie (Fagoccini's Pizzaria) bcuz mf doesn't care to put in effort outside of that seein as he works so much. Bro wears a similar hat to the one he did as a kid bcuz it brought him a lot of comfort, n now that his hairline is recedin n he's baldin a lil bit at 18, he wears it bcuz he's a lil insecure. He doesn't give a shit that his teeth a crooked n gapped cuz it doesn't effect shit, but he does have a bit of an underbite that pisses him off bcuz he swears up n down that's what makes his voice sound so nasally.

TWEEK: Hair all fuckin wild bcuz he cuts it himself, n loses patience quickly n starts choppin. He also has white streaks in his hair which started appearing after his parents got arrested n durin his very long detox (from the stress of the info and on his body cuz of the dependency). He's got scratches all over his face n body from stress scratchin, meltdowns, n a few mishaps here n there. Bro also got sh scars bcuz bro got a lotta shit that went down n his brain chemistry is FUCKED.

WENDY: She cuts her hair short bcuz she wants to have a more androgynous appearance, but is still very confident with bein feminine n shit like that. When she started to become more human rights n social justice oriented, she started to get into boxing (as well as wrestling in school). She thought it would be a good to know how to fight if it came down to it. Plus she could already kick ass before, n she just thought it would be best to hone that ability.

BEBE: Started changin quite a bit after she had a whole moment of thinkin that she would turn out exactly like her mom (she has nothin wrong with her, just doesn't want that life). While she's still into things like cheer, she also started lookin into things that weren't what she was used to. She ended up findin Pink Flamingos, n became obsessed with Divine ever since. She dyes her cuz she feels better with it. n while she still does her makeup conventionally, she likes doin a more dark colour palet.

CLYDE: He's just Clyde. Dude's appearance didn't change that much bcuz he didn't change much. Some mfs just kinda be like that.

TOLKEIN: His mom suggested he try different hairstyles to be more connected with his culture bcuz he was havin a moment where he felt a lil blah bein the only Black dude his age in the area. He doesn't do upkeep as much as he should though, so things are a lil messy, but he doesn't see a problem as workin on the farm makes everythin messy so much faster anyway.

JIMMY: Bro just dresses casually. He doesn't really care about clothes or shit bcuz he can get people's attention with his comedy. Ladies man as fuck

HENRIETTA: Always has the best outfits bcuz she got into sewin so that she could start makin shit that she specifically wanted. She has a few tattoos- some are stick n pokes she did with her friends, others her mom signed off on when she was still under 18. She tries to ward people off with her makeup, which works rather well in South Park. She has both old sh scars from her emo moment (where she was just doin it cuz that's what she was told emo's did), n ones from later on where she was just feelin super empty n couldn't find a way to romanticize it like done previously.

FIRKLE: He's still in middle school so he doesn't go AS out there with his fashion bcuz he doesn't have the in-school support of his friends anymore. But still does dramatic makeup which he gets in trouble for all the time.

MICHAEL: Simple clothes that he's comfortable in, but not so simple that he feels like he's conforming. Pierced his ears up n down bcuz he was told he couldn't. Pierced his own eyebrow 3 different times bcuz it keeps growin out. Knee brace due to arthritis, unfortunately. A shit load of sh scars bcuz he always tries to act so stoic n unbothered around everyone else, that it led to him breaking down all the time in private bcuz he wasn't allowin himself to feel things.

/\ They have a matchin stick n poke 'nevermore' tattoo bcuz they thought it'd be pretty dope n they wanted to connect themselves with eachother via blood usin the same needle (don't do that, it's not great to get other people's blood in ya) \/

PETE: Dude's mom is extremely supportive of him bein goth, so much so that she was the one dyin his hair as a kid bcuz he asked. He has a very specific style that he likes n sometimes he goes through his grandpa's old shit to find stuff to wear (usually altering it to be more dark in appearance).

(There are others I have designs for, but bcuz I haven't posted them much, imma just stop here.)

Enjoy this fuckin novel, bro. Thank you. And I'm sorry, but I'm a full homo kind of guy

[makeyoumine69]

HI!!!! Oh my word, when I saw your 1K celebration I had to pick my favorite prompt out of them for you to write! Your series, one shots, drabbles; literally anything you write I WILL READ! I just can’t help it 🤭! Can you plz do prompt 2: "don't you hide that cute face from me. i wanna see all of you."; I can just imagine reader being shy with Bateman for anything and everything, BECAUSE HE IS SO FILTHY! I want him to tease! And maybe use the nickname cupcake…that’s all!! Love your work!

Hello my dear friend! Thank you so much for your positivity and kindness, it means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy this prompt! ✌💗

— Links: [MASTERLIST]; [1k Followers Celebration Masterlist]

Just a glimpse of his hazel eyes was enough to make you do what he wanted; no matter how hard you tried to deny it, you couldn't resist his natural attraction because you were born to be his.

That evening, after a super luxurious party at Craig McDermott's house, you were riding back to Patrick's apartment in the limo. To be fair, when he said you were leaving, you sighed with relief, because the way he surrounded you with his attention, holding you close almost all the time, was really humiliating. Especially when his sneaky hands were constantly attacking all your delicious curves.

The sound of raindrops falling on the roof of the limo helped to clear your mind when you suddenly felt Bateman's hand on your shoulder, and it didn't surprise you at all.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed, Cupcake … all exposed and wide open for me." Patrick murmured in a tempting tone and dragged you a little closer.

"Stop saying such things!" You protested, trying to turn it into a joke, but he was stubborn as hell. "You're embarrassing me!"

He bubbled something sweet next to your ear, tickling the sensitive area around it with his hot breath, and put his big palm on your collarbone.

"Mmm, I love the way you get embarrassed, sweetie," after he whispered that, Bateman tugged on your earlobe, sending an avalanche of goosebumps down your spine. "It's so cute, so innocent."

His tantalizing voice had a completely intoxicating effect on you, making your mind cloudy and your body aching for more. Barely touching you, Patrick traced his finger down your cleavage to the hollow between your breasts as he opened your coat to get better access to your pretty little form.

"Pat-Patrick …" you gasped as his scorching lips found the most sensitive spot on your neck, causing all of your insides to tense. "We're in the limo … p-please, can you wait?"

"Jesus, (Y/N)," Bateman chuckled in amusement, his hands still roaming around your body. Then, he tried to pull you into a kiss, but you flinched away. "You want to test me, babydoll?"

Shyly, you struggled to close your legs when you felt his hand slide up your knee to sneak under the hem of your dress. Even though you knew you were playing with fire - it was too late to back off now.

"The driver can see us, mmm-God," you couldn't help but moan quietly from how relentless he was in his attempts to reach your already soaked panties. "Patrick…"

His name was all you could mutter as his skilled fingers finally touched the place you wanted him most, and no matter how much you tried to fight it, your inner nature overtook your clarity of mind.

Soon, you were both panting with a ravenous desire to give each other pleasure. Patrick was extremely needy, you even had to bite your lip when he pressed your hand to his hard groin while his long fingers rhythmically rubbed your blushing clit.

"Cupcake," he growled in a husky voice before leaving a wet trail of hickeys along your neck, causing your eyes to roll back into your head. "Once we get to my apartment, I'm gonna tear you apart ... "

You whimpered at his words, shaking next to him as he pushed his thin fingers into your wet cunt, stretching you so fucking perfectly from the inside.

"A-awww, God! Your words, Patrick," you tried to turn away from him, burning with embarrassment and the unspoken desire to feel his thick dick deep in your womb. "P-please, they sound s-so nasty!"

"Don't hide that cute face from me, baby. I wanna see all of you," he hugged your neck to hold you in place as he fingered your pussy with a slick sound. "I love your innocent moans, honey … let me feel your pussy clenching so tightly around my fingers."

"Patty … mhhm, aaahh!" You almost screamed as he hit your G-spot, pulling and twisting his fingers masterfully against it, not forgetting to pinch your taut nipple through the thin fabric of your dress.

Damn, that was one of the fastest and most vivid orgasms you have ever had.

Bateman only stopped when your inner walls were no longer squeezing his fingers. Smugly, he took his digits in his mouth to clean them, tasting your sweet flavor and moaning so sexy that you felt another wave of pleasure surge through your body. "We've only just started, Cupcake," he brought his fingers to your lips, prompting you to take them in. "My little shy girl. Tonight, I will rock your world."

[sugartitzblah]

college boyfriend!craig headcanons x fem!reader.

warnings: none.

disclaimer: characters mentioned are aged up.

college boyfriend!craig who treats you like a princess, his love language being physical touch because he isn’t the best at expressing how he feels about you.

college boyfriend!craig is the type of guy who never leaves your side while being out in public but when y’all are at a party he will surely let you go dance with your friends but always keeping an eye on you.

college boyfriend!craig who only loves you, stripes and tweek.

college boyfriend!craig has many tattoos that tweek designed for him, he always thought that getting your significant other’s name tattooed was a stupid thing to do but once he met you that thought changed almost immediately. now, he has your named tattooed on his pelvis.

college boyfriend!craig loves when you place kisses on his tummy, caressing softly the messy locks of your hair while you trace your tongue down his abdomen, calling you all types of sweet pet names while you look up at him with doe eyes.

college boyfriend!craig admires every single thing you do. the way you talks, the way you move and how your eyes sparkle with joy every time you see something you like.

college boyfriend!craig is like a massive teddy bear. he’s always so warm and super clingy, whenever you guys are cuddling he wraps his arms around your waist and will not let go of you, no matter how much you whine or tell him to move, he won’t.

college boyfriend!craig isn’t a big fan of those traditional dinner dates. he likes intimate dates, when it’s warm enough outside he takes to picnic dates or to the lake so y’all can swim and mess around together without anyone watching. he opens the trunk of his car to lay down with you once the sunset sets.

college boyfriend!craig adores how you perfectly bond with her little sister, watching you braid tricia’s hair is the cutest thing he has ever witnessed and after that his baby fever goes crazy, he actually has a very soft spot for little children, even though they think he’s big and scary.

college boyfriend!craig is a sucker for lazy make out sessions with you. he likes taking things slow, wondering his big hands all around your body to find the spot that makes you squirm under his touch. loves the sound of your lips clashing together with his.

“wait, wait. why are you parting away?”

“craig, we’ve been making out for the past thirty minutes, my lips feel sore already.”

“so?”

college boyfriend!craig who is so in love with your body, especially with your hips. be ready to feel his lips, teeth and tongue running down and nibbling against the soft flesh of your hip bone 24/7.

“boobs, thighs or ass?”

“my girlfriend’s hips.”

college boyfriend!craig can’t say “i love you” out loud, you and him usually draw silly doodles on your notebook whenever y’all are bored in class. you know how he isn’t the best expressing his feelings so whenever he writes down “i love you” on your notebook with his messy handwriting you melt right on spot.

college boyfriend!craig can be really possessive. he sees a guy hitting on you? nuh uh, he walks up to you while hugging you from behind. he doesn’t even have to say a word to the boy hitting on you, his cold and piercing gaze is enough to make the guy back away from you in fear.

college boyfriend!craig spoils you so much. without even asking, he once bought your whole sephora wishlist just for you.

“craig, i… you didn’t had to, babe…”

“but i wanted to. now stop talking. we need to try on all of these lipglosses and lipsticks, don’t you think? let’s test the durability with some kisses.”

college boyfriend!craig who practically kidnaps your during the weekends so y’all can spend time together, his favorite activity is taking long naps with you in his dorm room.

college boyfriend!craig is fascinated by the height difference. he finds it so cute how his fingers are way more thick and longer than yours or how your feet are so small compared to yours, he also loves the way you need to stand on your tiptoes to reach his lips whenever you want to kiss him. he teases you leaning back from your frame so you have to struggle even more.

college boyfriend!craig is a great boyfriend overall, please give him big smooches all over his cute face. :((

[topguncortez]

“ man, fuck that guy. go show her what she’s missing. “ with bradley?

pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Seresin!Female callsign: Hades warnings: none, it's fluffy prompts list | master prompts list main masterlist | Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

If there was one thing that Jake Seresin hated more than a bad hair day or losing a dog fight, it would have to be his little sister's boyfriend. He wasn't sure why she decided to stay with someone who was always so negative and just so opposite of her. But Jake hated him. And so did Bradley Bradshaw.

Bradley saw Y/N Seresin exactly once, and was head over heels in love with her. She was sweet, and nice, and smelled like the ocean. She listened to every single word that Bradley said, and asked him questions that made him think a bit. He didn't know she was a Seresin until Jake walked up to them and said the classic "are you bothering my baby sister?" line.

Bradley expected Jake to warn him off of his sister, but Jake instead did the opposite. He encouraged Bradley to go after his sister. Any man was better than Craig. So Bradley did what he could, trying to get Y/N out on dates, spending late nights going over flight plans, studying old routes in the library. Bradley even kissed her one night, but it ended with Y/N shoving him away.

Currently, Bradley and Jake were surrounded by the dagger squad at the hard deck. It was Friday and everyone wanted to shake off the stress of the week. Jake was lining up his shot on the pool table as the door to the hard deck slammed open. He looked over and saw his baby sister storm in and straight to the restroom. Jake rolled his eyes as Craig came strolling in after and walked to the group.

"Hey guys," He smiled.

"Greg," Jake greeted.

"It's Craig, Jake," Craig corrected. Jake rolled his eyes. He had been calling him the wrong name nearly every day since Y/N first brought him home.

"What's up with Hades?" Phoenix asked.

"You mean, Y/N? Nothing, she's just moody," Craig said. He never really understood why Y/N's friends always called her by her callsign. It was strange for him, and he never got used to it.

Jake stiffened and stood up, "Why don't you go get yourself a drink."

"I'm not-"

"It wasn't a suggestion," Jake gave him a fake smile.

"I'll go with you, Greg," Bob said, getting off his barstool. Craig seemed to like Bob, maybe it was because they were somewhat alike. Craig worked as a broker of a bank, he was quiet and nerdy, kind of like Bob. But Bob was cooler.

When Craig and Bob were out of ear shot, Jake sighed, "One of these days, I'm going to snap his glasses in half."

"That's not nice," Bradley finally spoke up.

"He treats her liken shit, and I'm tired of it," Jake said, "You saw her, she was fucking crying when she walked in here. Man. . . fuck that guy. Bradshaw, go show her what she's missing."

"What?! Me?!" Bradley asked.

"Oh don't act like you haven't wanted a chance to get up in her flight suit," Payback joked. Bradley glared at him and he held his hands up in defense, "Besides, she's probably the only one she'd talk to right now."

Jake looked at him and Bradley sighed, "I'll be back."

Bradley walked his way down to the rest room, knocking on the door and waiting for the soft invite to come in. Y/N was running her hands under the faucet when Bradley walked in. Her eyes and cheeks were red, a tell-tale sign that she had been crying.

"Wanna talk about-"

"Can we leave?"

"What?" Bradley asked confused. Y/N turned the water off, and looked at Bradley. She didn't say anything but took a step forward and smashed her lips to his. Bradley was caught off guard for only a second, before kissing her back. Their tongues fought for dominance as she pushed Bradley against the bathroom wall. Her hands trailed down Bradley's body to his belt.

"Wait. . ." Bradley grabbed her hands, "As much as I want this. . . what about Craig?"

"What about him? You hate him, Jake hates him, hell, my mom sends me a text every day about how much she hates him."

"I am not going to let you cheat on him though," Bradley's parents raised him better than that.

"Fine," Y/N walked towards the door, pulling it open. Bradley furrowed his eyebrows walking after her. She walked up to Craig who smiled and handed her a drink, "I'm breaking up with you."

"Oh shit."

"WHAT?!" Craig yelled, "B-but I thought this was-"

"I'm sorry. . . you're just too boring. Being with you is like watching paint dry. And you treat me like shit and I'm tired of you trying to train me to be a housewife," Y/N said.

"I don't understand. Y/N," Craig grabbed her hands, "I love you."

"We've been together for three months. . ." Y/N said and pulled her hands away.

"Here's twenty bucks for the drink, and 10 for an uber," Bradley said, coming up to them, "Don't make this worse than it needs to be, buddy."

Craig watched with his jaw dropped as Bradley grabbed Y/N's hand and pulled her away from him. Jake smiled at his friend and Craig looked at him for help. Jake mouthed 'I'm sorry' and shrugged before going back to playing pool.

"You're crazy, you know that," Bradley said as they walked out of the hard deck.

"Don't act like you don't like it," Y/N said, grabbing the collar of his shirt and bringing him in for a kiss.

"Oh, I love it," Bradley smirked, bending down, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. Y/N laughed as Bradley carried her towards his Bronco. She looked up to see Craig standing in the doorway and she waved at him with a smirk on her lips.

[angel-gone-south]

Oh dearest writer I am requesting (again) what do YOU think tweek, clyde, kyle, jimmy and pip would call the reader (if that makes any sense 😅) like ig "petnames" but I hate that word more then anything (even more then my mom 🤭)

🖌 anon (as always)

Nicknames for the Reader!

i did romantic AND platonic if that’s okay

Drug mention

【☆】★【☆】

Stan Marsh

Platonic: Dude, Bro, “Lil Homie” or “Big Guy” depending on your height

Romantic: Darling, Honey, Baby. Typical shit unless he’s in a goofy mood, then it’s something stupid like “booboo bear”

Kyle Broflovski

Platonic: Dude, Bro. Classic.

Romantic: Babe, Dear, Honeybun. He never calls you Honeybun in public though, that one is for him only.

Kenny McCormick

Platonic: Babes, among other things that are probably not normally platonic (doll, pretty, etc)

Romantic: Doll, Prince/Princess, Hot stuff (or hotcock/pusspuss when he’s stoned out of his gourd)

Eric Cartman

Platonic: This is Cartman we’re talking about. He calls you derogatory things based on your appearance and background no matter what.

Romantic: Same thing, mostly. But alone he’s much sweeter, or he just adds “my” to the beginning of whatever slur he calls you. He’s not used to love.

Butters/Marjorine Stotch

Platonic: Fella, Buddy, Bubba, etc.

Romantic: Baby, sweetheart, darling, etc. Constantly giving you the sweetest compliments too. “Handsome boy” or “pretty girl” or simply just “gorgeous”

Craig Tucker

Platonic: Dude. Bro sometimes but he’s a very Dude guy.

Romantic: We all know he calls his partners honey, but also I think he would call you cupcake or love. Maybe even just baby.

Tweek Tweak

Platonic: Bro, my guy. Uses your name a lot.

Romantic: Hun, Cutie, just the most sickeningly sweet shit. He’s smitten.

Clyde Donovan

Platonic: Dude, bro, guy. Regardless of gender.

Romantic: Something stupid. Little lady/baby boy/my darling when he wants to embarrass you. Bae in front of his friends.

Tolkien Black

Platonic: Simple and straight to the point, he uses your name. Occasionally dude.

Romantic: I’m sorry he’s the guy to say pookie unironically 💀 he also calls you “little bug” though which is honestly adorable

Jimmy Valmer

Platonic: My man/Little Dude/Miss lady. He’s a jokester, whaddya want?

Romantic: Sweetums, cutie patootie, lovebug.

Scott Malkinson

Platonic: Dude, your name. Very simple.

Romantic: He’s probably so nervous but I think he would call you sugar, hon, and babe. He’s also definitely fond of dear and darling.

Pip Pirrup

Platonic: Friend, Chap, other British things.

Romantic: Love, sweetie, baby, missus/mister/mx. He adores you to the bone.

Damien Thorn

Platonic: Puny, worm, other such insults.

Romantic: Mortal. Also refers to you as “the Tolerable One” and “Mine.” Sometimes, when he’s feeling extra sappy, he calls you his little angel or firestarter.

Gregory (of Yardale)

Platonic: He does NOT know what that means so prepare for a litany of Prince/Princess, My Liege, etc.

Romantic: Others include: My sweet, love, sunshine, baby, little flower, beautiful, gorgeous, etc.

Christophe “The Mole” DeLorne

Platonic: “Friend” is the best thing you could squeeze out of him.

Romantic: lots of French. “Papillon” (butterfly), “Mon cher/Ma chérie” (my dear/my darling), “Amour” (love). He prays you don’t understand. Never point them out he WILL stop.