#his name's punchy. that is so funny

[apocalyptic-dancehall]

Mentally you just kind of look like this cat to me

i figured lol

[tacitoru]

Satoru had quickly gotten sick of being referred to by his given name. Satoru, Satoru, Satoru. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to it - his childhood years in the States had desensitized the shock and indignation at such familiarity right out of him. It was times like after a game, when everybody wanted to chatshit and talk his ear off, or during a press stop, when interviewers led with questions that fueled their preexisting assumptions - it was times like those  when he yearned for the staunch politeness of the Japanese language. Longed for the way you could innately  keep people at arms length and save face at the same time. That was a luxury he hadn’t realized he had until recently.

Now though, he loves the way his name sounds out of your mouth. Obsessed with it, actually. That, and the punchy little gasp you make every time he slips his cock inside you, never gets old. Satoru cherishes it even more now that you’ve spent so much time apart. It’s been five long years since he’s seen you - you, corporeal, in the flesh and solid beneath his fingertips that itch for their rightful place on your skin each time you pop up in the occasional news article or an errant gossip column. 

There was a time, in what seems like a lifetime ago, when you would call out for him in soft, demure tones. Sometimes he misses that immiscible mixture of fear and awe in your voice. Sweet little college student you who trailed after him on hand and foot until he effectively destroyed the pedestal you put him on with both hands. Listening to you now though, the venom laced through each syllable of his name sounds just as sweet as the former - at the very least, you’re saying it.

“Satoru,” you implore, breathless, like using his first name for the first time in years physically takes the wind out of you. That, and you’re still trying to pry off the hand braced against your lower abdomen, only managing to bend his thumb and pinky back with both hands. He can feel the way your stomach expands and contracts beneath his palm with each deep breath you take. “I’m being serious, this isn’t fucking funny.”

“Neither are my feelings,” he pouts, pressing down, adding pressure. 

You lock up against the wall of the bathroom stall, silently praying you could morph through the material. The broad expanse of his shoulders and the wide stance of his legs trap you from wiggling too far out of his hold. You avoid eye contact in favor of glaring at the closed toilet lid even as he looms over you, leers down at you. Tell-tale bubbles roll through your stomach. “What happened to a truce?” you ask weakly.

“I got impatient,” he shrugs like he’s talking about a change in the weather and not a last-minute decision to hold you hostage in the bathroom at a friend’s wedding rehearsal. “Besides, isn’t that the best part of being a guest at a wedding? Fucking the other guests?”

You’ve got half a mind to roll your eyes until your captor’s hand on your stomach presses more insistently. “I am not fucking you at Utahime’s wedding.”

“So after the wedding?” he hums, scratching his chin with his free hand. “Technically this is the wedding rehearsal so we could consider this practice for the real thing if you want -,”

“- Satoru -! “

“What? I won’t even put it in all the way, I swear. I’m halfway there just being this close to you again if we’re being honest. Really, I thought I could hold it together at least for tonight, but then the way you were talking to me outside, just - wow, I chubbed up a little when you called me Gojo-san-,”

“Oh, no, fuck!” your groan is about as much as a warning as he gets when you suddenly lurch, keeling over his forearm to flip the toilet lid and wretch into the basin.

fic: pleaser

[autumnslance]

Clive's Outfit in FF14!

Since we had the PAX East Panel for FF16 today, and we know it's coming in "early April" (FF16 Producer Naoki Yoshida didn't want to say more than that, as tomorrow there is a panel with FF14 Producer/Director Yoshi-P, who might get mad if Yoshida revealed more than he was supposed to and no, he is never getting tired of this bit) I hopped into Crime to check out Clive's outfit on various characters.

FF14-only players will likely raise brows at the set's name, "Metian", because "Metia" is used as a name for something in FF16's world, with a lot of significance to Clive and Jill from the very start. So this set's name (despite the clothes' origin in FF16's story) ties back to his lady.

I started off with Dalamud dye cuz that's what Aeryn happens to have on her jacket, hands, and feet at the moment:

Unfortunately, hyuran men at present do not get quite the bulky chests Clive and his comrades sport in Valisthea. Maybe the update will make them look more filled out.

Meanwhile, if C'oretta doesn't look she won't have to see it's not pink.

This also really pulls in Punchy's bust; she's maxed on the slider, while Aeryn and Dark are mid-ranged, and Iyna minimal. But in this, they're all looking pretty similar. And similar to the guys, actually...

Finally added color for Iyna; Celeste, and the pants are Deepwood. She doesn't want to be here today. Also yes I put Thancred in this outfit, what of it?

(Now if only they also gave us Jill's amazing outfit, then I could really cosplay...Uh, nevermind. Moving on!)

I dunno if it's the angle I used that makes the legs look funny on Iron Summer (more on the legs/feet in a moment). But Roe men do, in fact, have the chests to make this outfit work like a Valisthean gentleman. And I shamelessly used @driftward's Zoissette as an elezen example.

Now, Clive is obviously wearing long boots, right? Well...

Have to click the legs pic, but it's plated pants and ankle shoe things (in Celeste Green here). Blergh.

Extra Details!

Clive famously fights with giant swords, but also carries a short blade for a backup weapon; very historical of these nerds. The other side of the belt shows his pouches. The back cloak is missing any kind of device or hold for his giant swords, which is very video game of these nerds.

The belts are part of the vest.

[swangtup6]

EP Review: Sematary - Warboy (2020)

Warboy is a fairly polarizing release within the Haunted Mound fanbase. Many call it Sematary - or even the whole Mound's - best work, some call it his worst. What do I think? Well, it'll be pretty obvious soon enough...

The first thing one hears upon hitting play on this album is a choir singing, a sample taken from an old Grausamkeit demo. I used to skip this, I'm not gonna lie, but I honestly missed out because this short intro (under a minute long!) does much to establish the feel of this EP, grim, grimy, and warlike. It's a great introduction to the tape, and makes 10,000 Weeping Choirs' intro go that much harder.

Speaking of 10,000 Weeping Choirs, that song is a pretty much perfect establishing track for the sound of this album, production and rapping wise. The beat features a nightcore-d sample of an Electric Wizard song, turning a slow and rumbling riff into a bright (but still aggressive) and groovy one. The hi-hats rattle along, with lots of rolls and fills, the snare is punchy and rhythmic, and the bass and kick drum are heavy as shit, when I listen to this in the car my whole car shakes. I would argue that Warboy is also the peak of Sematary's black metal aesthetic, and nearly every song samples metal guitar riffs, over which Sematary's grim esoteric horrorcore lyricism fits perfectly.

Sematary's flows and rapping are at arguably their peak on this EP. Every song is catchy, fun, and fresh to listen to. We get serious lyrics, funny lyrics, and super memorable lyrics. Each song has it's own character to it, and honestly seems to take place in its own world, separate from the rest of the EP but with obvious thematic and stylistic overlap. I'll put some highlights down below :P

This whole verse, from 10,000 Weeping Choirs, is ICONIC and sets the tone for the EP perfectly. This is exactly how listening to this EP feels.

I love how Sematary's voice sounds while he says these lines. I wish I knew how to mix like this, it sounds so cool and this particular part of the verse has such a dope flow I just love it.

Older r/hauntedmound users know why I had to put this one☠️

Overall, I would say this is absolutely one of Sematary's best works. I actually considered it to be the best Sematary release until HAW recently clicked for me. Every song on here is an absolute bop, they're so even qualitywise that it's always been hard for me to name a favorite. Every track is distinct, yet have a consistent aesthetic and sound, so the EP sounds very coherent and "pure", if that makes sense.

9.8/10

Standout track: Redbull Addict

[eriexplosion]

Time for our breather episode, Common Ground

The scenery in this show is so damned good, the way I am instantly in love with Raxus and the gold tones.

Honestly this episode fits much better given what we see in Spoils of War/Ruins of War, emphasizing the humanity of the people in every system. TCW triedddd to do this with the 'heroes on both sides' but they really just kind of said it and then showed us like one lady that didn't suck in the entire show. She died immediately. So I appreciate these episodes.

Also I just love the Senator's droid she's hilarious to me.

Avi Singh is voiced by Alexander Siddig and it made me trust him immediately like all those people in the crowd cheering that is me hearing Julian Bashir's voice come out of this little animated man.

HOW can the scene of them just walking contain so many of my favorite character moments? Omega feeding Wrecker a piece of Mantell Mix, Tech steadying Omega when Hunter helps her off Wrecker's shoulder to make sure she doesn't fall over, her smiling up at him, this expression of UTTER DUBIOUSNESS and SUSPICIOUS SNIFFING from Echo

I headcanon that Echo has hella digestive problems after a large portion of them was replaced by technology so every food must pass this sniff test and 90% of them do NOT but especially not whatever sugary concoction goes on this space popcorn.

I do NOT get why people thought for so long that we don't see Tech caring for Omega because every time she stumbles Tech is right there to steady her, he takes such good care of Omega oh my god. Sometimes love is making sure your baby sister never ever falls over!

Which he also does when she gets on a chair and he is right there like JUST IN CASE.

Adolescents often exhibit lack of balance as they grow best to be within two inches of her at all times in case she wobbles.

GRANDMA CRIMES WILL BABYSIT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. DON'T TRUST HER BUT SHE'LL TOTALLY DO IT.

I do think it's very funny that the one time Hunter successfully keeps her out of a mission by leaving her on another planet, she immediately becomes central to a gambling ring.

I want a count of how many times Echo complained about this job while Tech is just YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT, EARNING MONEY TO EAT WITHOUT PUTTING IT ON CID'S TAB. And Wrecker is just excited to mark off a new system on his Visited Locations list.

"Now are you convinced?" "No >:[" Echo has very valid reasons to not be thrilled about this job but unfortunately separatist doesn't mean much anymore and also they're so cute when they're Grumby.

When you clean SO sadly that Cid comes over like STOP BEING A MOPE. Omega's really leaning into her early teens attitude with SOR-RY.

ANGY.

Bolo and Ketch's DISAPPOINTED HEAD SHAKING is so fucking funny. You UPSET the CHILD Cid. Go fix it. Like they weren't taking bets on her fucking up her bow training earlier.

I know Hunter's mentioning Omega is supposed to be Feelsy a little but I do admit it misses a little bit because it's not like she's missing or anything. I do wish they had done something like this with Crosshair early on, like in Rampage when he orders Echo to be eyes in the sky, switch it to him saying Crosshair's name instead and then correcting.

THIS ANTIQUE VASE IS PRICELESS, BE CAREFUL :C I love herrrrrr

You know the senator is in real trouble because they took his hat.

AND BEHOLD! I HAVE SAVED YOUR MOST PRIZED VASE :D

Quite a bit of time is spent on Grand Theft Walker in this episode. Also I'm glad they're using stun bolts but oh boy is it concerning to stun a bunch of clone troopers in the same area where walkers are fighting, this is such a way to get squished.

As always I'm a big fan of Tech getting Punchy I love that he's not at all a docile nerd.

Echo stepping forward to encourage Avi to leave because he can't help his people in custody is sweet but would have been slightly better if we got a little more one on one interaction between the two of them. Even just one solid scene would be good.

I'll give the batch one thing, their success/failure rate is slightly better than I remembered, they are up to 3 successes and only 1 major failure

Frankly they should stop doing merc work though and just let Omega gamble her way through the galaxy.

SHOW A LITTLE GRATITUDE TO MY FRIEND. Cid is officially Affectionate towards this small child.

Another good character moment is Wrecker giving Hunter an EXTREMELY SERIOUS *TALK TO THE CHILD* LOOK

Really the main plot of this episode is a good breather but it really shines in tiny moments that make me Squeal a little. Just those little character interactions that I ADORE.

[scribefindegil]

[Ask Game] Writing Patterns

I was tagged by @marypsue

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern.

"Mob yawned." (A Haunted Home, MP100)

"Kendall/MIT Katie hisses out an annoyed little sigh as she elbows her way onto the subway car." ('Neath the Streets of Boston, Charlie On The MTA)

"There is a thread." (Instrument, Pentiment)

"Summer was coming." (Through All Your Creatures, Pentiment)

"Mathieu did not consider himself to be an optimistic man." (Omnia Sperat, Omnia Sustinat, Pentiment)

"On a warm November night, Tsubomi found herself wandering downtown towards the Divine Tree, caught up in the crush of the crowd, to see what all the fuss was about–" (The Brassica Heresy, MP100)

"You’re four, and when you come running downstairs the kitchen smells like sugar and citrus and warmth." (Candles, MP100)

"Sing to me Muse, O, sing of the boy who was named for a goddess Bright-eyed, raven-haired Artemis, cunning in words and in actions How he won lustrous, coveted gold from the nymphs and the satyrs Seeking to use it to find and to rescue his sea-stranded father." [Okay okay I'm cheating bc I have a whole pseudo-academic introduction to this fic but. The dactyls are more fun. Behold them.] (Artemis Phaulos, or, Kolpher's Artemisead, Artemis Fowl)

"The cool winter sunlight falls through the narrow windows of the room, casting bright lines across the plastic sheeting they’ve taped down to the floor." (As the Walls Close In, MP100)

"After Claw’s thwarted attempt at world domination, life in Seasoning City began the slow but inevitable slide back towards normalcy." (In Case Of Emergency, MP100)

Okay it's very funny to me seeing how short a bunch of these are given that I feel like a hallmark of my writing is that I do not know how to shut up, but I do like a punchy opening line! And simple, scene-setting declaratives. And dactyls.

Fandom-wise this was more of a spread than I was expecting because I'd forgotten how many things I wrote for exchanges at the end of the year. (Highlight of those is the Charlie fic which was written in like 2 hours while unspeakably exhausted right before the Yuletide deadline but which still brings me great delight.)

Not tagging anyone bc I feel like I've seen most of my fic-writing mutuals get tagged already, but feel free to steal if you so desire!

[all-pacas]

How do you think Cameron and Park would've gotten along lol

I have actually THOUGHT about this, because I think Cameron would actually love being a mentor, mentoring Young Female Doctors, you know? I could go into it more, but I absolutely think Cameron would love that sort of thing.

And on the surface, Park is ripe for mentoring: she's still a resident, she's had a rough start to her career, she's awkward and comes off as sort of shy. I bet Cameron takes one look and is like I can guide her. (Masters, too, btw. Cameron would love Masters.) The funny thing is that Park really isn't shy, is actually blunt and punchy and a little prickly, right? She knows when she's being talked down to and Defends Herself. I can see them having a bit of a rough start. Cameron of course has the best of intentions, but definitely comes across as condescending, and Park does not tolerate that shit.

But I think they could have a cute little friendship in the long run. Park wants friends and is kind of pushy about it. She wants buddies to vent about her family with, someone to give her advice and get drinks with her and hang out with. She really doesn't have that in Diagnostics: Taub is friendly but not exactly a social equal (and he's busy with his own shit); she and Adams aren't really friends, and while I love Park and Chase's eventual friendship, they aren't super close (and Chase spends a lot of time trying to avoid her) for ages. Cameron has social skills! She's proactive! She cares as a character flaw!

Imagine an AU where Park comes into work one day and starts being like "good idea, Jessica" or "what do you think, Christopher" because Cameron has been giving her Advice On Dealing With Coworkers. Imagine Cameron gleefully giving Park the dirt on Chase and Foreman in the name of trolling them. Imagine Cameron giving Park dating advice and enabling her crush on Chase. It would be so good

[bomberqueen17]

car shopping part 1

ok i had capslock on when i started typing this and i startled myself, lol. i am. a bit tired and punchy. BUT. All hail my lovely middle-little sister, who volunteered to come take me to car dealerships last night.

Here are my extremely scientific notes on how that went, so that I can narrow down my car choices for definitely for sure:

1) Honda: we went to a Honda dealership, and my mom has a CR-V which I've driven and it's... fine, so I tried the HR-V, which is smaller. The sales guy immediately without asking was like "here you want this one" and had me test-drive a used 2020 model-- low mileage, nice car, but used. "Won't be here in a couple days tho, act fast," he said, and gave me his card. I'd told him this was the very first car of my search and I wasn't in a hurry. He didn't show me anything new, or tell me about anything new, but did say there were often quite long waits for new cars. Gotcha. Like, I'm not mad, but I'm also not going to pay $23,9 for a three-year old car when the current year's model is $24k. You know? I don't care how long the warranty is.

2) Subaru: we went because it was right there. Wandered around the parking lot. Crosstreks look... lower now?? somehow?? than mine? Much lower, don't know why. Specs said same ground clearance but. I'd have to look up what the specs were in 2014. Sales guy came out, asked if we wanted to see anything. M-L said I should try the Forester, so I was like sure, why not; one of the farm workers has a 2020 Outback I figured I'd ask his opinion on, and actually the part time veg helper guy has a recent Outback too, so there's no shortage of those around. So I test-drove a Forester. And like. I hadn't even got out of the parking lot and the guy was like, all casual, "so how's the visibility," and I really looked around and was like holy shit okay i can see through time so I really liked it. It was a higher-end package (had a huge sunroof, i actually really liked that, i'm a shallow bitch i guess) and kept trying to nanny me about leaving the lane on the winding back road but the guy reached over and pressed the button that disables that and it stopped yelling at me, which was great. Anyway. I did not expect that. M-L and I theorized about what kind of guy I'd be to be a Forester guy. "A middle-aged wealthy lesbian with a lot of large dogs," M-L said, and I was immediately depressed to realize that only one of those things is actually applicable. I have no wife and no large dogs. These are major failings of my life. But. I mean. We don't always end up the person we thought we'd be when we were nineteen.

3) Then we got to the Ford dealership, and a guy named Joey was like "ay what's up," and i listed the cars I was interested in and he was like "i can't get those or those but I got Broncos, let's go see one" and walked incredibly fast out into the parking lot without looking like he was hurrying, seriously it was eerie how fast he walked while looking like he was just ambling, and he led us to a "cactus gray" Bronco Sport, said "you wanna try this one? aight hang on" and went back into the building. I was like uh sure, we poked around the parking lot, and then he came back, handed me the key, was like "yah you two go for it, you know the roads around here? yah go see if you like it, I'll be here til eight." and off we went, slightly bemused. But yes, we were quite near M-L's house so she led us around a winding path. The Bronco's hood takes up rather a lot of the view out of the windshield. I raised my seat, which helped slightly. I could not find the right edge of the car and kept straying over into the shoulder. It was so boxy. The visibility out of the windows wasn't fantastic. But it had a lot of zoom and handled all right. Not terrible. I'm not a Ford Bronco guy I don't think, but I liked the Ford dealership folks, they were funny.

The sales manager came out and talked to me briefly and was like "well i mean how many cars are you looking for" and i was like "i have a spreadsheet" and he was like "a what now" and i got my phone out and showed him the spreadsheet Dude made and he was like "your guy is something else" and i was like "i mean, he sure is", and I did feel better about not being a wealthy middle-aged lesbian with large dogs if this is what I have instead but like. I mean. The road not taken etc.

"take notes," M-L said as we got home (after i bought her a sushi dinner bc there was a place right by the dealership and also i wanted sushi), and i was like "yah ok" but this is my notes. i'm sure i'll be able to make sense of them later.

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 5: slide & 6: trap

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 5: slide & 6: trap

I should have made these one chapter, really, but I was enjoying the punchy brevity of these scenes, and making each one try to express one main idea, from which I derived the chapter-title word. I wrote to a friend at the time: "bonus points if the word applies to one thing explicitly and one or more others metaphorically, but I only manage that when the special writing fairies are listening". I had a whole list of words I definitely wanted to use, and at once point, I toyed with the idea of having them create some overall secret message or code, like the 36 Lessons. I did not do this, but you are welcome to use them as a fridge-poetry set to create secret messages (or emo poetry) of your own.

Iriel has reintroduced himself to civilisation... well. Urbanisation, at least. He was probably better off in the swamp.

Iriel on his way into Vivec.

“I TOLD you already, you filthy n'wah! I don’t have any more, and I’m not going to get any! It was a one-off, do you hear?

The whole scene in the No Name Club was more reheated gameplay - the barkeeper is one of the only people in Vivec who sells moon sugar, but he doesn't restock it, so once it's gone, it's gone. I made up a plausible narrative justification for this. I did not attempt to reproduce or justify the fact that he, like all non-Khajiit shopkeepers in Morrowind, will refuse to talk to you while carrying moon sugar, even if you just bought it off him! Constantly having to drop your stash at your feet in shops, then forget to pick it up after your transaction and have to scurry, cursing, throughout the canton, retracing your steps until you found where you left it - a complication of the Morrowind drug addict's life that I spared Iriel. Because while it might be funny, it's also incredibly stupid.

nasty-looking Camonna Tong Dunmer

I could have done more to actually explain who the Camonna Tong are, since their war with the Thieves Guild ended up being more significant than I expected in the story. But it's clear they're a gang of xenophobic local thugs, at least.

But his top priority was surviving, and if that meant continuing to take sugar until he was in a better position to kick the habit, then that’s how it had to be.

Iriel has to keep taking the sugar, because the moment he stops, he has to face up to himself and his situation, and getting one more hit of sugar is a way to keep kicking that can down the road.

“Because you’re a Khajiit.” said Ire, seeing no reason to beat around the stereotype.

Ire isn't as racially sheltered as he would have been when he moved from Summerset to the Imperial City, but he still isn't very familiar with Khajiit. Now he's doing the awful thing white university students do, where they ask a random Black guy with dreadlocks if he can sell them weed.

Ire had a brief, guilty pang of regret that he’d never learned a Charm spell.

Guilty, because, as he lectures people later, once he's in a position to start caring about ethics again, he considers Charm spells to be unethical.

He had to settle for making the most pitiful face he could muster, which was pretty damn pitiful, since it involved no acting whatsoever.

See, there's no real charisma at work here, just puppy-dog eyes. I think I actually banned myself from using the Persuade mechanism, ingame. If Ire couldn't win people over through raw Personality skill, he wasn't allowed to try and talk anyone round.

It did not prevent him now, in these straitened circumstances, from taking to petty thievery to support his drug habit, but it did mean he felt really, really awful about it.

When I was young, it seemed like every other celebrity was a junkie. Maybe it's less fashionable nowadays, but it used to be everywhere. Not that it sounded glamourous! I can't say I read, eg,  William Burroughs, and thought that kind of existence sounded aspirational. But I understood it as something human beings were drawn to, sometimes, and that while addiction was, in itself, morally neutral, it could very easily put you in a place where everything in your life became subordinate to the drug.

one-room hovel he was crashing in. It was in the St Delyn canton, and Iriel was sure something was terribly wrong with it.

I wish I'd spent more time on the bleak reality of Ire's existence in St Delyn, the sordid poverty of the area, row upon rows of tiny dwellings full of miserable people. Everyone scraping out an existence, all living on top of each other, but with little real contact beyond hoping the 3am screaming coming from your neighbour's flat will stop, soon. It's a grim, concrete high-rise block of flats, basically. Everything is piled high with rubbish and covered in mould.

Instead of having it here where I ought to, I put all the nasty details and description of St Delyn to chapter 83, when Iriel returns here with Julan. And now I'm trying to twist it into something clever - maybe it kinda works? That when we're seeing it only through Iriel's eyes, nothing registers, because he's numbing himself to everything, and we just skim over the details, because he barely remembers, himself, and anyway, he thinks he deserves it. But then, later, we have Julan there, being all clear-sighted about it and saying "this is awful and unacceptable and you deserved better", and suddenly all the horrible details become visible? Work with me, here, I refuse to revise this fic again.

Iriel was then able to convert the ingredients into potions, and the potions into money at the many traders around Vivec.

It's actually sort of hard to play at poverty in Morrowind if you know alchemy, because it's a totally broken way to make infinite money. Thank Azura for moon sugar habits.

On reflection, I shouldn't have said Iriel was doing alchemy for money, that's a silly relic of what you do in gameplay, and it shouldn't work in reality, especially when he's in no condition to keep anything sterile, or stay awake long enough to monitor a reaction. He should just have been stealing things, and getting occasional coins tossed to him, when he passed out on the canton walkway again.

Dro'Zaymar had a quiet manner, but a certain precision to his movements and uncompromising directness in his gaze hinted that he was not to be underestimated.

He's an assassin, according to his class, and holds one of the Threads of the Webspinner, a Morag Tong quest item. Iriel has no idea about this, and is lucky Dro'Zaymar is at least a little bit susceptible to Ire's pathetic woobie charms, and is therefore way more patient with his bullshit than he needs to be.

Iriel, for his part, has found someone willing to tolerate him, and, his inhibitions sufficiently sugar-dampened, has relaxed somewhat. Which is to say, he's started being a bit of a brat, and Dro'Zaymar's patience is wearing thin.

He pulled a book labelled Words of Clan Mother Ahnissi from his bag. “It’s a Khajiiti creation myth! But there are some fascinating changes from those in other mythologies. I wondered if you could explain something to me about how–”

Iriel may claim to be a scholar, but he is not, and never has been, a scholar of comparative religion, and has no interest in it beyond cheap pretexts to talk to his Khajiiti neighbour. Probably best that said neighbour shuts him down before he says something cluelessly offensive. Oh wait, apparently he's already done even worse:

One night, under the influence of a potent mixture of sugar and loneliness, Ire had tried to persuade Dro'Zaymar to educate him about certain peculiarities of Khajiiti male anatomy he had heard about. Dro'Zaymar had told him, not unkindly, that Ire didn’t want that as much as he thought he did, and had gently but firmly sent him back to his room.

Quite a lot of sugar, presumably, as Iriel is still mortified about this, months later. But even sober, he has a tendency to move straight to blunt sexual overtures, when craving affection, because, in his head, that's a less complicated way to get it (or something close to it) than other forms of social interaction.

Even with the sugar, this still might seem like remarkably forward behaviour from damp mouse Iriel. What's happened here is this: Iriel has decided that Dro'Zaymar is a safe person. Probably Ire said something accidentally gay, and Dro'Zaymar didn't react badly - there's evidence Khajiiti culture is pretty relaxed about these things. And in Ire's head, safe/unsafe is an immutable category of person, so he's flipped his social switch from "mute terror" to "no filter whatsoever".

Anyway, Ire's inappropriate behaviour isn't about attraction, libido or anything similar, it's just his need for contact expressing itself in stupid, desperate, embarrassing ways,and Dro'Zaymar is well aware of this. (Also, possibly saving Iriel from himself.)

“You told Dro'Zaymar a pack of lies you tell yourself to make it easier to take the sugar. There is no good time to stop taking the sugar, because the nature of sugar is that it is sweet! But it is a trap for you, Irrrriel, and you must get yourself out of it. It will hurt very much - ask the one who chews off his foot to get out of the trap! It will hurt, yes, and you do not like to hurt. But you must do it to free yourself, Irrriel, because to be free is sweeter than any sugar.”

Iriel reacts defensively, but he does take in Dro'Zaymar's speech. He's just not capable of responding to a tough-love approach to coming off the sugar, because he doesn't have anything else in his life to replace it with.

D'you know the Rat Park experiment? Rats were offered two water sources, one plain and one laced with sweetened morphine. Some rats were isolated, left alone in small, bare cages. These rats drank the morphine water obsessively, until they overdosed and died. Other rats were housed in "Rat Park", a large enclosure, full of toys and, crucially, lots of their fellow rats. These rats preferred the plain water, sometimes drinking the morphine, but not as much, and never to the point of overdose. In an experient where addicted rats were taken out of isolation, and placed in Rat Park, where they could play, mate and socialise with other rats, many of them stopped taking the morphine of their own accord, even though they still had access.

Drug addiction as a replacement for love, sure, okay, we can work with that narratively, right?

Except that I knew this wasn't a story about Iriel finding someone to magically fix him by loving him.

Rat Park was important, in that it highlighted the social factors of addiction, and the key role of family, friends and community support in recovery.

The trouble is, people are more complex than rats.

The trouble is, while addiction is morally neutral, it is highly stigmatised, and so causes shame. And if kicking addictions requires love, and love requires self-worth in order to successfully absorb it then if you're a shame-filled, self-loathing addict, it's extremely difficult to get yourself in a position where you can successfully metabolise enough love for it to replace the drug, and this is something you need to keep doing all the time, for the rest of your life, and if you slip up, you get more shame, and next time is harder, and...

We've already established that Iriel was drowning in shame before the drugs.

Welcome to Operation: Getting Iriel Out of the Pit - lightened with as many jokes as I could manage, because we are going to have to watch him scrabble and slip back down the slime-slick sides of this for a while.

Playlist pick: The Smiths - Shoplifters of the World Unite. You'd think more Smiths songs would fit Iriel, because Morrissey's always on about some irritatingly hot criminal boy, or being snarkily self-deprecating. But in the end, this is the only one that survived on the playlist, and mostly just for the shoplifting. I think it's that with Morrissey, you never actually believe him when he's being self-deprecating, you always get the impression he thinks he's fantastic, and the real problem is everyone else. For all his sins, Iriel's self-esteem isn't on that level, and while he can certainly be reflexively racist, he's conscious of the lie of Altmeri supremacy. Not that I would ever suggest Morrissey was a massive racist - he sues people who do that. Anyway. While writing, I would occasionally lecture Iriel, when he threatened to get too over-dramatically maudlin about something: "character development" does not mean you get to turn into fucking Morrissey! Words to live by, to be sure.

My only weakness is a list of crimes. My only weakness is... well, never mind, never mind.

next: 7: choice & 8: simple previous: 4: falling

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

sometimes I have to think about the horrible horrible reboot spinoff of Scooby-doo

HBO’S VELMA

Ohhhhhhhhhh man, oh man.

as a through fan of Scooby-doo

hbo’s Velma’s characterization is god awful.

single handedly is the worst scooby-doo show, like scooby-do and scrappy-doo literally has gotten a redemption arc after 50+ years of hatred as the worst series of scooby-doo. It was considered the worst series in the cannon, literally Velma (hbo) is worse than scrappy-doo.

all the punchy, funny and fresh 2010s scooby-doo cannon is just thrown out the window.

like, I expected some sort of actual edge lord racist to have made Velma, like it’s NOT???

I haven’t watched the full thing I watched other’s reactions and the first episode, like it’s just actually terrible.

you don’t have to watch the full show to know that, oh my god is it just AWFUL.

and genuinely low key racist???

like, it’s just horrible.

and the thing that shits me is that the art? And the character designs aren’t even half bad, like the race swapping wasn’t even the problem it was just the characterization like genuinely like I could not get past the first episode.

and I’ve watched irky and perky for gods sake, I;ve watched so many shittyyyyyyy flash animated tv shows, and like I could not genuinely stomach more than an episode.

Like there’s some nice plot points, some references to captain caveman. And such, but like the characterization is genuinely horrible.

Daphne is a drug lord for some reason???

Velma is a 4th wall breaker and is supposed to be the “likable” main character but she’s insufferable and awful, and has like very inaccurate hallucinations and such, and is just a awful person.

shaggy is going by his legal name Norville??? Like shaggy HATES his legal name it’s why he’s called shaggy, like to change that whole part of his character is super weird. Also he’s not an afraid or scaredy cat character anymore, he’s actually a simp for Velma who eventually becomes interested in human scooby-doo btw.

Fred’s character got absolutely BUTCHERED, like he’s this lovable himbo, he has a heart of gold and cares for his friends like family. He’s a fucking misogynist rich kid who gets a hitler joke like ??? What??? Why the fuck is Fred characterized like that???

also scooby-doo is human, and a woman. I actually don’t hate that it’s just a bit weird.

I can go on and on and on about this show god, the teen objectifying sex jokes that’s literally in the first 3 minutes of the show, the weird ass infantilism? So many sex jokes but the punchline is “haha sexualizing teens XD”

like, the whole toxic ass Daphne X Velma and Velma X norvile???

the whole drug lord plot line, the just low key racism made to be “haha funny” but just ends up being literally just kinda racist.

and just more and more.

the show is just awful.

[purplekoop]

Alright immediate followup to my last post, what if every Overwatch hero got a Street Fighter skin? Same general logic as the OPM collab skins, basically characters from one wearing costumes based on the other.

I am aware trying to find the venn diagram of tumblr users who like Overwatch and Street Fighter isn't gonna lead to much success but uhhh look I don't feel like putting 74 images in this one post so if you want context google it. (Also for a disclaimer for the hypothetical singular Street Fighter fan that finds this, I know next to nothing about any of the games besides 1, 2, Alpha, and 3, if there's a perfect match in 4, 5, or 6 I'm not aware of then I'm just Not Aware of them.)

Soldier 76: Either Ryu (Boring Standard Man), Ken (Boring Standard American Man), or Guile (American Military Man). Tough call between those three for him, but frankly my one reason for considering Ryu is because I think S76's VA would kill the delivery for Ryu's iconic lines.

I'd put Hanzo as Ryu and Cassidy as Ken, but like. Frankly it'd be a little cursed to have Hanzo and Cass both clean shaven.

Mei: Chun Li. Mostly because they're both Chinese and I think it'd be a fun combo visually. I don't have any clever ideas for what Snowball would be though.

Winston: Blanka. Pretty obvious. Weird ape-like man who jumps around the place and shoots electricity, weird man-like ape who jumps around the place and shoots electricity.

Reinhardt: Zangeif. Was very tempted to go with Hugo from SF3 (German Synergy), but I had to pair my two beloved large hairy men who would slam you into the concrete or give you a tender hug.

Zenyatta: Dhalsim. Okay like. This is literally the easiest one. Zenyatta was literally called "Robo Dhalsim" by people when they first saw him. Come on.

Doomfist: Balrog (yes I'm going with US names). I mean. Punchy man. punchy man. Simple math, folks. He'd also be a pretty solid Sagat, but. Punchy Men.

Genji: Vega. Skinny lanky pretty boy with a crouched fighting stance, a mask, and a knack for sharp things and screaming while launching himself at high speeds.

Ramattra: Sagat. This one's mostly based on body type, nobody else that was available is quite as long and lanky as Sagat. Plus, it'd be weird to not pair the one guy who actually shoots energy with his hands as an attack with somebody who can do that in Street Fighter.

Sigma: M. Bison. Like I said in my last post, besides personality this one lines up very strikingly well.

Tracer: Cammy. Simple enough, small nimble British lady, small nimble British lady.

Baptiste: Dee Jay. Not quite from the same place in the Caribbean (Haitian for the former and Jamaican for the latter), but I feel like they'd get along. Plus Dee Jay has a down->up charge input, which you can't say any Overwatch character has anything like besides Baptiste, right?

Reaper: Akuma. Shadowy edgelord. Nothing more complicated past that and the fact I couldn't figure out any better ideas for Reaper or Akuma.

Junkrat: Adon. Lanky bastard men. Simple math.

Roadhog: Birdie. Big dude with a chain he likes to grab people with, and (as of OW2) a mohawk. Funny enough, both Birdie and Adon were Street Fighter 1 characters who came back as playable for SF Alpha, so they do kinda stick together, which is nice cohesion for this "couple of dashing rogues".

Kiriko: Sakura. I know for a fact that logically, Kiriko should get an Ibuki skin. Ninja girl, throws knives, simple math right? But like. In my heart. Kiriko deserves Sakura more. The energy Aligns. She deserves to have the Schmoovement victory dance as an emote.

D.va: Karin. This is mostly just because they're both varying levels of rude. Plus I think Karin/Sakura is a ship to the same extent as D.va/Kiriko? Don't quote me on either of those.

Symmetra: Rose. Flashy extra girlboss. Frankly I think she'd just slay the outfit.

Junker Queen: Rainbow Mika. Mostly just because they're the two of the beefiest ladies from the respective series I'm aware of. The other option was Zarya, but JQ's showboaty personality and more flirty nature make me prefer her for this match over Zarya.

Lucio: Yun. Honestly just the bottom-heavy outfit and calm, cool personality, and how it looks cool in my head.

Echo: Twelve. Shapeshifting inorganic being, shapeshifting inorganic being. Though uh... not sure how you'd make this skin look... good?

Bastion: Q. It's very hard to think of any good matches for Bastion, but I think this one's funny enough to pass. Just imagine him with the hat and trenchcoat. Not sure what Ganymede would be. Give him a hat and trenchcoat too.

Moira: Gill. Definitely would need some extra details considering... Gill is kind of just a buff man pretty much just wearing a cloth over the bare essentials, but the split color design and the fact that if I heard Moira's VA say "The mark of my divinity will scar thy DNA" I would disintegrate make me at least enjoy the concept.

Aaaaaand that's all the ideas I got. Which leaves 13 on the Overwatch side of things without a match: Orisa, Wrecking Ball, Zarya, Ashe, Pharah, Sojourn, Sombra, Torbjorn, Widowmaker, Ana, Brigitte, Lifeweaver, and Mercy. Almost all of which besides very specific body type are ladies, which... I mean considering there were literally only 2 playable women in Street Fighter before Alpha, should kinda make sense. There's almost certainly more in 4, 5, and 6 that'd be great matches, but I haven't played those yet so uh. Sorry women. Also didn't think of anyone who really fit Torb's body type, Lifeweaver's too new for me to have any great ideas for, and... Wrecking Ball. I don't think that one's hard to explain.

Anyways I hope this nonexistent target audience enjoys this poorly organized hypothetical.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s14e13 lebanon (w. meredith glynn, andrew dabb)

weird pre-ep recap, mishmash of clips and the music abruptly changing tone in between the punchy rock and then doom drone for the part about dean's box o' self destruction

apparently it was sam's turn to be a doofus around a bunch of magical/cursed/whatever items? not his usual bag

(script linked on wiki)

ok then. they really did decide to take turns

ok, that was quick. is this supposed to be a fun episode?

mmk

JACKSON Hey. The Campbell brothers. Lemme guess – the usual?

campbell brothers, of course

from 7x07 the mentalists MUSEUM GUIDE Never ended well for the siblings. DEAN Why is that? MUSEUM GUIDE Mm, the strain of working together, or maybe just being around each other all their lives. Those two were the exception, actually – the Campbells. Got along famously. Of course, that was just a stage name. They weren’t actually brothers. That was a cover for their, um… alternative lifestyle.

twofer of mary campbell and them.

DEAN Make it double. SAM Dean, listen to this. Uh, hangman’s rope, fairy dust, John Wayne Gacy’s cigar box.

wild guess that the episode will also involve a creepy clown ghost then

ELIOT I mean, think about it. Where do they even come from? Them or their weird sidekick with the trench coat. And what about that kid with the dumb Bambi on his face all the time?

see, that is the way to do it, poke fun at the show, not the fans

SAM It’s called the Baozhu. It’s one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. I-It’s a pearl that grants wishes. Sort of. DEAN Sort of? SAM Well, technically, it’s supposed to give you “what your heart desires.”

how very fanfic/disney

feels like the show has a lot of queer girl rep. charlie, claire and kaia, the girls in the musical, these teenaged girls. wiki has a list, of course

convenient that dean's been charming the townsfolk so he can work his magic with the post office clerk

DEAN A serial killer clown. I mean, this is, like, the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to you, you know, ‘cause you love serial killers, but – but you hate clowns. SAM Yeah, I get it, Dean.

ok, that was cute

ok WHAT is this music? i get it's like swelling emotional whatever (cute little sync with dean closing his eyes, i'll give them that) and gone kind of twisted maybe? but it just sounds like a string instrument that's playing out of tune too loudly. weird. i was gonna put a clip in but i gotta take it out for something else

so i knew john showed up in an episode. must have been extremely wild to see that happen unspoiled. funny because i rant about john pretty regularly but now i'm like, oh, it's jeffrey dean morgan looking very nice and soft and confused. wait, i'm supposed to be very pissed at you. maybe i can just vibe with what sam and dean are feeling instead

JOHN Sammy. Aren’t you supposed to be in Palo Alto? SAM Palo Alto? JOHN What happened to you? DEAN What year is it? JOHN It’s 2003.

so it was always funny how they cast him being not much older than jackles, to play an older part obviously. so now i wonder if his actual age makes more sense to 2003-john. jdm was 37 in 2003 (born in 1966) and john was supposed to be 49 (born in 1954). and jdm for this episode (in 2019) was 53. hey, pretty good! the math is mathin

JOHN So, you saved the world? DEAN More than once. JOHN Then it’s all true. God, the devil, you boys smack in the middle. Now you live in a secret bunker with an angel and Lucifer’s kid.

co-parenting lucifer's kid, at that. best not to get into too many details of what's happened in the past 13 years because the absurdity is too much

very sweet. 100% believe 2003 john was never this nice, but whatever y'all. i'm going (well, trying) with the flow

DEAN I don’t know. You said that the – the pearl gives you what your heart desires, right? So, my heart desired – I’ve wanted this, man. I’ve – I’ve wanted this since I was 4 years old. SAM Okay, I know, and I love this, too, Dean. I do, honestly, but – but messing with time – DEAN No, no, no, Sam. SAM You know how this ends. Things change. DEAN Yeah, great – we got our family back together. I’ll take that change. SAM That’s not what I mean. DEAN Stop. Just stop, okay? Look, can – can we just have one family dinner? Just one? Us – all of us together. That’s all I want. Can you just give me that?

i get both sides of this. one dinner is not too much to ask! but also, let's be practical about the whole time travel repercussions business (after dinner) and maybe sam's a little bit (lot) freaked out because of his dad baggage

all right. this is some of the most authentic acting i think i've seen jared do, and he does emotions like this really well to begin with. made me cry, of course. just... vulnerable in a way he isn't with dean, being on equal footing with him (and also dean not being dead the past 13 years). just can really feel that deference and shakiness with john. still don't buy that 2003 john would have this emotional intelligence, this feels like a john that's lived a lot longer a la jdm. but, this is the last time i'm gonna bring it up :p (along with if they can forgive him the child neglect etc, i can try too - for the moment at least 🤪) and sam's getting his much needed (apparently MUCH needed) closure. but no hug?? must be saving it for later.

and jdm's voice is luscious. reminds me of um. dude in the crow, michael wincott as top dollar

lol what. well, this was a quick way to find out how bringing dad in fucked up the timeline

ok but if sammy is off being a douchebag in this new timeline from bringing dad from 2003, how did the apocalypse not happen? like in apocalypse world, without them to stop it. must have gotten some other poor bastards to kick it off? eh whatever, nothing needs to make sense

SAM No, I don’t think so. I think it’s a temporal paradox. We pulled Dad here from 2003, right? So time is self-correcting. Our timeline is changing to this new one. DEAN So, what do you mean? SAM It means, I think, that, if we don’t fix this, then we become those other versions of ourselves. Like, for real. DEAN Okay, well, I’m cool, but you’re – ugh. SAM That’s not the point. The point is, if – if all this is different, then what else changed?

well my insides are screaming for them to get back to the bunker and fix this shit asap :p this is a very bonkers little plotline

creative way to bring back zachariah at least, if they had to

LOL okay, i do approve of bringing him back and immediately killing him again though

good thinkin on sam with the angel banishing sigil, appreciate the commitment to just having cas 100% on board with killing them both

DEAN Basically, uh, if you don’t go back, Sam never gets back into the life, um, and Mom, she, uh… JOHN What? DEAN Well, without everything that we did – with God, The Darkness – she never comes back. Sam thinks that she’ll just fade away. JOHN Okay. I mean, me versus your mom? That’s – that’s not even a choice. Does she know?

the rehabilitation of john winchester. wait i was supposed to going with the flow. anyway!

i'm sure i'm thinking too much about this but ok. it's 2003 and sam's at stanford and john disappears. and dean... doesn't go pick up sam, like he did when john disappeared in events right before the pilot? sam just blithely continues his normal life and veers into obnoxious ted talk raw food lawyer guy. so how many other people would still be alive in this timeline? and without having the benefit of saved lives via apocalypse-prevention, seems like it's potentially a net benefit. >.> unless those same quantity of people died anyway with some other hunter/vessel/whatevers

JOHN No, son. My fight. It was supposed to end with me, with Yellow Eyes. But now you – you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you. I guess that I had hoped, eventually, you would… get yourself a normal life, a peaceful life, a family. DEAN I have a family.

whatever, got john back, he gets to be the good guy by happily going back to die in his regular timeline to let mary live now

JOHN Alright. Near as I can tell, we have two choices. Alright, we can think about what’s coming. Or we can be grateful for this time that we have together. Now, me… I choose grateful. So, to whatever brought us together, we owe you one. Amen.

okay, john.

samantha smith and jdm really do have nice chemistry, especially considering they barely have worked together in these roles. would have been nice to hear the conversation instead of the schmaltzy montage to bob seger but i get it

SAM Did you see them at dinner, the way they looked at each other? They just seemed happy, you know? It doesn’t feel fair to get all this and have to throw it away, and I know we have to. But it just feels like, you know… Once we send Dad back… it’s none of this ever happened. He – he just goes back to – to… to being Dad. DEAN You saying you wish things would be different?

(you saying you're okay in a world without us together)

SAM Don’t you? Can you imagine – dad in the past, knowing then what he knows now? I… I think it would be nice. DEAN Yeah. I used to think that, too. But, uh… I mean, look, we’ve been through some tough times. There’s no denying that. SAM Yeah. DEAN And for the longest time, I blamed Dad. I mean, hell, I blamed Mom, too, you know? I was angry. But say we could send Dad back knowing everything. Why stop there? Why not send him even further back and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world? But here’s the problem. Who does that make us?

Would we be better off? Well, maybe. But I gotta be honest – I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is. And I’m good with who I am. I’m good with who you are. ‘Cause our lives – they’re ours. And maybe I’m just too damn old to want to change that.

good with who they are, and who they are to each other. maybe projecting but i think sam still needs and soaks up that approval from dean

i understand that this is focusing on the original family unit and particularly on sam and dean, as the show always comes down to just them ultimately, but they could have also brought in the fact that they'd lose cas and jack in this timeline alteration idea (and jody, donna, the girls, etc). i mean, i'm glad they didn't, but i wouldn't have been surprised if they did. but feels kind of like in the conversation the previous episode when dean says he does believe in us (sam and dean). and then he sees cas, and says he believes in all of us. sam and dean first always

this seems to be a theme for me with later seasons. in isolation, i love these scenes between sam and dean. but for me they're cheapened by the premise or contrivances or whatever of the episodes they're in. so i can take these conversations, i could make gifs or edits or paintings, i could do whatever. but in the episode, they never ring as true as they do outside it. for me they make sense to the characters, but not the plot they're embedded in. which really bums me out, because i'm a rigid asshole about context. but i will also accept the crumbs because otherwise it's an even harder slog through this last handful of seasons.

JOHN You two. You take care of each other. SAM We always do.

man padalecki and jdm are just, killing it with the emotions. sam is a mess accepting that praise and approval from john too.

thinking back to the first few seasons, jackles was so emotive and teared up a lot more for dean and he's turned into a really tough nut to crack later on. like he finally does break a little in this hug after the i love yous. based on how jensen has talked about other changes with dean (like say, his voice going deeper) i imagine he's got his reasons

poor mary. one weird thing about this show is with heaven being a concrete thing, where we know who is there and how it works, prior to this mary was up there with the real john doing whatever, living in a loop of memories so not ideal but she was with him (do we know they're soulmates at this point? i know i've read it in the wiki that they are.) but anyway, just always the weird context of well yes they are dead but we know 100% we're seeing them again in heaven. you know, assuming heaven doesn't break down before getting there :p which of course is an actual concern now lol

jesus christ these posts just get longer and longer.

[robinplayspokemon]

pokemon yellow, day 1: pallet town-pewter city

oh yeah, it's that time again!

what up gay nerds!!

so, yeah, we're on to pokemon yellow! despite fully admitting that the little guy is cute as heck, i've really never been the biggest pikachu fan? i think that's probably inevitable when something becomes the mascot for a franchise whose strength is having literally hundreds of different little dudes that everyone's obviously gonna have different levels of attachment to, but yeah. i really think eevee woulda been a better mascot for the franchise & i will die mad about it! (not really. i'm joking. this is a baby franchise for babies. i'm not allowed to actually be mad about it.)

so, yeah! needless to say being locked into having pikachu as your starter & constant companion and not even being able to evolve him into the objectively superior raichu (i'm kidding, i just love me some raichu) made this not really super my favorite pokemon game! but it does have enhanced graphics including new sprites for the pokemon and some of the characters, plus a few minor additions in dialogue & gameplay to make it resemble the (at the time) wildly-popular anime, including my beloved jessie & james!!!

so, yeah! you're locked into pikachu as your starter. i named mine "chu chu" to be cute. and then, like in red & blue, you can catch your usual rattatas & pidgeys of the world once you have pokeballs. i named rattata "kug" (after a character in dimension 20: the unsleeping city) and pidgey "bird" (because i thought it was funny, yeah, i'm dumb.).

also, you can totally call me a cheater if you want to for this if you want, but since the legit mew i caught in red & traded over to blue for my dex was at a low level (level 7 is always the level you encounter using the glitch i linked to in my last pokemon blue post), i went ahead and traded that mew (nicknamed omega) over to be one of my starting pokemon too. when i played blue back in the day i always used gameshark to get mew and always had one on my elite four team, so i figured i might as well continue that tradition in at least one of my gen 1 playthroughs. shrugs!

i caught everything i could in the vicinity of viridian city

(nicknamed punchy)

(nicknamed tomboy)

(nicknamed boywife)

(nicknamed angy bird)

and made short work of all the bug catchers in viridian forest, and caught the one new pokemon i could there

(nicknamed flick, after the animal crossing character. no weedle in yellow for some reason, idk why! i'll have to send one over from blue.)

and finally, i finished off this first stretch of game by beating brock for my first gym badge! he gets a fancy new sprite that matches his anime model a bit better, plus some dialogue that references his characterization in the anime, as well as alluding to the many possible, varied ways to be a pokemon trainer.

and that's all for now! i know my pokemon yellow updates are gonna be way more dex-heavy, so it's a good thing they wrote new dex entries for yellow! i hope y'all aren't gonna get bored since there'll be a lot of retreading here, but yeah, thanks for sticking around! catch ya next time, gay nerds!

[lord-radish]

I love fighting game characters. I'm not good at fighting games but the characters are really really good.

I tend to love heavy characters like JACK from Tekken, there's a new JACK robot in every Tekken game except for Tekken 4. He's a big Russian war robot who turned good to protect a little girl, and he got zapped by a death laser from an orbital satellite. The girl he turned good to protect became a computer programmer to revive her old friend, succeeding in restoring his memories in Tekken 5.

Oh and also HE CAN FLY, and it's a combat move that's tricky to pull off but takes off like half a health bar if you land on your opponent.

On the other end of the spectrum, you have your standard kung-fu guy character except he's a joke character who exists to shit-talk one of Capcom's rivals in the market during the fighting game boom of the 90's.

Dan Hibiki is basically the embodiment of "we trained him wrong, as a joke". He's actually kind of a lore-important character, at least to some of the characters - there's a Muay Thai practitioner named Sagat who's the final boss of Street Fighter 1 and is one of the most powerful characters in the series. Dan's dad fought him and died, but not before blinding Sagat in one of his eyes.

Dan challenged Sagat to a fight years later, and Sagat felt so guilty about killing his dad that he let Dan win, despite the fact that he's kind of terrible at fighting. Like just to emphasise that last part, Ryu - as in THE Ryu, punchy kicky spinny kung-fu man - had to give in to an evil force in order to beat Sagat in the first game, and the impact left Sagat with a massive vertical scar right up his chest. Sagat is fucking legit.

He felt so bad about killing Dan's dad that he jobbed to him, despite Dan being terrible. And the win gave him a fat head, and led to him opening his own dojo. The dojo was a failure and he lost all his money, but he did train another fighter named Sakura - who surpassed his skill level in one day and left the dojo without telling him.

Dan is, to my understanding, a down and out loser whose abilities are intentionally nerfed to parody SNK's fighters. He's a jerk and a loser and I think he's super funny.

And then there's Faust, who's kind of like if JACK's backstory was even more dramatic and edgy, but applied to a guy 1000x goofier than Dan Hibiki.

His backstory is that he was a world-renowned surgeon who had never lost a patient. One day he's performing surgery on a little girl and she dies, causing Faust - known as Dr. Baldhead at the time - to lose his shit and become a serial killer with a giant scalpel. Eventually he comes to his senses and is overwrought with guilt, so for the rest of the series he uses a big stick and wears a paper bag on his head out of shame.

I can't even describe Faust, except that he has big springy legs like a frog and he can manifest cartoons out of thin air like Looney Tunes physics.

And then in Guilty Gear STRIVE something happened to him, and he's sick and dying and he looks so scary and sad :(

[mostlysignssomeportents]

All the books I reviewed in 2022 (Part III: Nonfiction part 1)

I. Electrify by Saul Griffith

The MacArthur prizewinning engineer offers a detailed, optimistic and urgent roadmap for a climate-respecting energy transition that we can actually accomplish in 10–15 years. The US’s energy budget has been wildly overstated. About half of the energy that the US consumes is actually the energy we need to dig, process, transport, store and use fossil fuels.

Renewables have these costs, too, but nothing near the costs of using fossil fuels. An all-electric nation is about twice as efficient as a fossil fuel nation. That means that the problem of electrifying America is only half as hard as we’ve been told it was. A just energy transition isn’t a transition to ecology austerity — you can have better, cheaper versions of the stuff you love.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/09/practical-visionary/#popular-engineering

II. The Right to Repair by Aaron Perzanowski

In a series of short, punchy chapters, Perzanowski lays out the ancient, noble and necessary case for repair — a practice as old as the first resharpened stone axe — and proceeds to dissect each of the idiotic pretenses used to block it. From IP law to trade law, from consumer protection to consumer safety, from cybersecurity to unfair competition, Perzanowski demolishes the corporate argument for filling our planet up with immortal garbage in the name of consumerism.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/29/planned-obsolescence/#r2r

III. Woody Guthrie, Songs and Art * Words and Wisdom by Nora Guthrie and Robert Santelli

332 pages of reproductions of Guthrie’s art, songs and journals, as well as essays by notables who were influenced by Guthrie, as well as two of his kids: Arlo and Nora Guthrie. Guthrie’s journals and essays chart the development of a full-fledged philosophy of art and aesthetics.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/06/this-land-is-your-land/#this-machine-kills-fascists

IV. The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber and David Wengrow

The most important book I read in 2022. Its core argument: that the shape of societies — hierarchical or non, authoritarian or free — is not foreordained by our technology or living arrangements. We are free to choose who we want to be: equal or unequal, coercive or free, warlike or peaceful. A dizzying, thorough, beautifully told series of histories of ancient civilizations, many of which have only come into focus thanks to recent advances in archaeological technology. They show that every conceivable variation on centralization, coercion, hierarchy, violence, agriculture and urbanism has existed, in multiple places, for hundreds or thousands of years at a time.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/08/three-freedoms/#anti-fatalism

V. How to Take Over the World by Ryan North

A popular science book that tours a wide-ranging set of technological ideas by means of explaining how to realize the supervillain plots so beloved of Marvel comics. It’s full of extremely funny, extremely informative riffs that make for an engrossing frame for very deep dives into knowledge that are esoteric, interdisciplinary, and damned interesting.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/16/they-laughed-at-me-in-vienna/#ill-show-them-all

VI. The High Sierra by Kim Stanley Robinson

A unique and profound piece of western literature. The key is in that subtitle: “A Love Story.” It’s a memoir, of how Robinson came to be a Sierra person, starting with a reckless adventure in the mountains while tripping on LSD, wildly unprepared but young and vigorous and lucky. It’s a story about the physical being of the Sierra. The Sierra is revealed as the source of Robinson’s novelistic pastoralism — the vividness of the Martian hills, of space station interiors, of Antarctica. All of those descriptions are thinly veiled Sierras, like a set of stock characters in a novelist’s ensemble cast who are stand-ins for the people in his life.

It’s a story about the problems of the Sierras. The colonialism. The genocide. The place-names honoring the monsters of history, butted up against names commemorating heroes and lovers of the place, some settler colonialists, some First Nations. The ecocide, going back to the drowning of the Hetch Hetchy basin, not just to create a reservoir but to demoralize the advocates for nature and wilderness, scatter them so powerful men could continue to seize and destroy wild places.

It’s a story about living with the Sierras. Robinson recounts the history of the summer settlements — the places where First Nations people would come, year after year, for centuries, for fellowship and interchange and ritual. He tells the tale of the Sierra Club, the men — and especially the women — who loved the Sierras and whom the Sierra loved back.

Robinson made me fall in love with a place I’ve never been, and miss it even though I’ve never known it.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/25/the-wild-places/#sierra-people

VII. Ways of Being by James Bridle

A big, lyrical, strange and inspiring book about the “more than human world” — a world that encompasses the worldview of animals, ecosystems, and software. “Inanimate” objects — a homebrew self-driving car and a recommendation algorithm — both have distinct worldviews (umwelts). Our own umwelt and desires impact these inanimate objects, too; we are inextricably tangled up with them. Their actions result from our actions, and our actions result from theirs.

The whole world — from microscopic organisms that are neither animals nor plants to birds to primates, to plants and the fungi that interpenetrate and coexist with their root cells — is part of this phenomenon. Indeed, the interconnectedness of everything is so profound and so undeniable that any close examination of any phenomenon, being, or object leads to the inescapable conclusion that it can’t be understood as a separate, standalone thing, separate from everything else.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/07/more-than-human/#umwelt

Next up: more nonfiction!

https://mostlysignssomeportents.tumblr.com/post/702452399863889921/all-the-books-i-reviewed-in-2022-part-iv

Image: Matthew Petroff https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:George-peabody-library.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[Image ID: Interior of the George Peabody Library in Baltimore.

[blookmallow]

y’all i am so sorry i failed you

i just found this buried a year into my drafts and realized. i never posted my animatronics ratings for last year’s spirit halloween releases. i started it and i never finished it. it’s now closing in on halloween season again and i still haven’t done it. im ashamed. i am so sorry  

ANYWAY, here’s, uh, my. 9 month late 2022 spirit halloween opinions, happy summerween i guess 

Mr. Punchy 

NEW CLOWN NEW CLOWN fuck yes i love a new clown

also for some reason the first sentence of his description made me lose it 

BIG fan of this just from a visual standpoint, i love the colors, love the hair. i like the light-up face on this one a lot, most spirit clowns ive seen fall into either “Clown Who Is A Monster/Creature” (crouchy, hugz) or “Clown Who Is A Scary Guy” (wally, henry hussle) but this one feels very “evil fun house prop” which i really think works for it. im assuming he’s based on punching-bag clowns, which i haven’t seen them do before, but the fact that his body is a Ball also gives me the mental image of him violently bouncing toward you which is good as well. theres a certain manic energy about this guy that im really fond of. i like him i would like to see him 7/10 

Spike

standard zombie torso figure, though it does have some interesting implications given that Stab The Brain is the generally agreed upon best way to deal with zombies, but this guy seems to be doing just fine despite the giant stake in his head. the website description says he got it from his wife attempting to mercy kill him once he turned zombie but she failed so he’s just stuck like this now. it does not explain why stake to the brain didn’t work, though (the implication is that she missed or something but clearly she didn’t. ive never heard of zombie brains having a very specific precise spot you have to hit to kill them, this looks like it should’ve worked to me) 

something about the bLurghHGhRUrrh noises he makes and the little nicely buttoned flannel shirt with jagged obviously-cut-out-intentionally tears at the bottom is very funny to me. i like to think his wife has accepted the situation and he just lives on the porch scaring away birds and stuff now. 5 /10 hes not really anything special but he brings me joy 

Rat Girl

it’s... fine. she’s a Creepy Little Girl. she’s got a rat. it’s not particularly inspired but I don’t dislike it. she doesn’t really do anything but i like the eye movement. 5/10 

Lil Skelly Bones

this is a variation of another animatronic they had previously, same lil guy but now he’s a jumpscare figure instead of a swinging one. not really a fan of stuff that’s Just “jumps out at you” and thats all but he’s pretty cute. love how Small he is. whats even going on here, is he a skeleton dressed as a skeleton?? i don’t know. it’s very cute. 5/10 

Tombstone Terror

on a surface level this is just a tombstone with a skull that pops out and yells at you. it looks nice, it’s designed well, but it’s about as basic as it gets as far as the concept goes. the description for this one really makes it though, because evidently this skeleton’s name is Steve and he used to be the graveyard caretaker who loved his job so much he stuck around after death to continue protecting the graveyard

his name is steve and he loves this graveyard so much. 6/10 its very uncreative as a prop but it gets a bonus point for steve 

The Widow 

this one looks really familiar i feel like they had a very similar one previously? i dont know. anyway she’s very scary looking and the Neck Snap motion is really unsettling to see. one of those rare animatronics that i actually do feel a lil creeped out by and wouldn’t be eager to approach. her description says her husband cheated on her so she murdered him (and her sister, who he was cheating with) but then broke her neck in the process of trying to dump the bodies in a lake, so here we are. 7/10 i dont love it but i feel like it’s pretty effective and my first reaction to watching the video of it was “eugh. i dont want to see THAT again” so props for that 

Betty Sharpe 

lots of blood on this one, very nice, 

apparently she’s some kind of child beauty pageant contestant who murdered all the other girls

i really like the movement in the bag, something about the relatively slow motion and the size of the bag gives it a sense of “what the fuck does she have in there” since it doesn’t seem fast enough or big enough to be a person. gives the impression of a mutilated but somehow still barely alive person shoved in there, which is excellent. her design doesn’t read very clearly though, it looks like she’s wearing some kind of nightgown. i feel like they could’ve done more to make her look like a deranged diva, give her a tiara or something. the face looks really plasticky also. overall i think its a decent concept that could’ve been executed better. 6/10

Young Crouchy

H U H???!?????

this... sure is a choice. i do not understand the decision-making here at all. i like crouchy well enough but did ANYONE want this. it doesn’t even read as “young crouchy” at all, he doesn’t look Younger in any sense and it sounds like the same recording so his voice isn’t different either. it just looks like Slightly Shrunk crouchy. the fact that the original crouchy is so tall and imposing is really what makes him so effective, so this one just looks comical 

the description goes into his tragic childhood where i guess he’s... disabled? which is why he stands like that? 

The pain of growing up orphaned in the streets can only be masked by laughter, at least according to this broken child. With no friends, no family, and nowhere to turn, he had a stroke of luck when the circus came to town. He never intended to scare anyone, but with his broken posture and twisted frame, he was quickly adopted into the traveling circus and immediately found his calling. No amount of makeup could ever hide his sinister grin and sharp, dagger-like teeth, so he finally embraced his true identity as Crouchy and worked to become the show’s most terrifying act!

for one thing that doesn’t come across as a child even remotely at all, and while crouchy always had the “he just wanted to be a regular clown but he was too scary and everyone was afraid of him so he just decided to embrace it” backstory, i feel like this just makes it come across super ableist. “clown who is just really terrifying no matter how he tries” is kind of a funny concept but now they’re saying “his posture and body structure are Weird and Scary so no one liked him and all he’s good for is being Scary” just. feels real bad. and “he’s called crouchy because he has a physical disability that affects his posture” comes across way worse than “he’s called crouchy because we’re not creative and this is the pose he’s in. i mean because its a personal quirk of his” 

then they also follow up this description with “Every good evil villain has to have a tragic origin story!” which just feels SO forced, it makes me feel gross, this whole thing is stupid, i dont like any of it,

i feel like if they had leaned into “this is very silly” more and made this guy be like, Crouchy Jr, His Son, or his mini clone or something and made his voice higher it might’ve worked. a few people in the youtube comments pointed out that this prop could be beneficial as like, a Smaller/More Affordable crouchy if you don’t have the money or the space for the full size one, which is fair, but i don’t know. i just dont like this whole situation i really don’t 

3/10 try harder next time, spirit 

Strawman

spooky scarecrow man!!! i really hope I get a chance to see him in-store sometime hes lovely. love a creepy scarecrow

the design is good, his face design is pretty cool, it looks better in motion his mouth movements are pretty solid

he has a good range of motion in his head and the jerky/stiff movement in his arms works for the character really well whether it was intentional or not. hes interesting to watch. i like him. i think he’d be a great host/introductory figure at the beginning of a haunt or front of your yard or something to greet guests coming in. hes good i like him 7/10

theres also a new Reagan from the exorcist, but i havent. actually seen that movie yet sdfsdf so i dont really have anything to say about the animatronic other than “it looks fine to me” 

Possessed Pumpkin 

i feel like pumpkin man and creepy scarecrow are friends. they go well together. cursed pumpkin patch is a good concept i like it 

anyway we have this guy at my local store right now, he’s pretty Big and solid looking, its a pretty decent design, i like his big claw hands

his backstory kind of clashes with the design concept though, apparently he was... a kid in a homemade halloween costume who got bullied for his costume and then the other kids locked him in a barn at a haunted pumpkin patch so his body got taken over by evil spirits. which is a hell of a story that then makes No sense with the visual, because that is Not a child. nothing about this even remotely reads as “possessed child” at all. so then it comes across as “he grew up into an adult man in this pumpkin patch and just never fucking moved on from that one time he got bullied on halloween as a child” which just makes him kind of sad. pretty good design, poor backstory, 7/10 

anyway sorry if i missed anybody it took me so long to remember this was in here the new arrivals page on spirit’s site is now for this year so i cant tell which ones were new last year anymore :’    ) fjsdg