#his upbringing EXPLAINS his actions. and if his upbringing had been different so would his actions. THAT’S MY POINT. nothing else.

[dwc-jamc-spn]

I read killing stalking and I am screaming its so fucked (in a good way?), I'm generally uncomfortable with the CONSTANT explicit and obviously fetishised rape scenes, its just gross, HOWEVER literally every other part of the comic portrayed this horrifically abusive relationship in such an interesting way, I almost fell for sangwoos bullshit later on when he was acting all vanilla and normal with Bum, BUT THAT WAS JUST YET ANOTHER layer of manipulation, maybe even subconsciously.

from all the talk about this comic a few years ago I thought it was just glorifying an abusive relationship but like no, you're not meant to want these two together, you're meant to root for Bum to get out, though again, the rape scenes are so much and so unnecessary and totally damped an actually interesting story

I gotta be honest 😅 I’ve kinda moved on from KS cuz I read it like a year ago, so I don’t really have the memory or energy to give this a proper thought out reply. But I will say I didn’t take any of the scenes from KS to be anywhere near fetishizing tbh. I’ll probably never experience a situation like the one in KS, and the only way I would ever know how scary and terrifying that would be is through a piece of literature like KS. Do some people take the content from KS and do…nefarious things with it? Yes. Does that mean Koogi was fetishizing SA/abuse? I…um…Based on my readings of Koogi interviews, absolutely no fetishizing was being done by the author.

And, I don’t mean for this to be rude, but no you’re not meant to root for Bum to get out. You’re meant for him to get help. In every aspect of his life, not just help away from Sangwoo. He’s not a perfect character and he’s not meant to be. He did hurt people and do bad things—even before he met Sangwoo, he’s a deeply flawed and broken character. Bum wasn’t the ‘good guy’ of the comic. Nor was he the bad guy. No one really was. That’s one of biggest points of the whole comic.

Sangwoo is the biggest example of this imo. What do you think would’ve changed about him if his mother hadn’t been his abuser?

[johaerys-writes]

I got u fam. Achilles was known to ransom captives rather than kill. Why? If he went to troy for glory, then why was he not out there killing left and right? Do you think that deep down it was against his nature and he was just “stalling”? What exactly was his plan to achieve glory? TSoA in a way implies Achilles did a lot of “stalling” to have more time with Patroclus, but I want to hear your take on the Iliad.

Hello, thank you for this ask! You raise a few different questions so let me answer them one by one.

Why does Achilles ransom captives rather than kill? What was his plan to achieve glory? In Book 1, Achilles explains exactly why he went to Troy, and his attitude towards the Trojans in general. This is what he says to Agamemnon at the agora:

For it was not on account of Trojans warriors I came to wage battle here, since to me they are blameless— never yet have they driven off my cattle, or my horses, nor ever in Phthia, where the rich earth breeds warriors, have they destroyed my harvest, since there is much between us, both shadowy mountains and clashing sea. But we followed you, O great shameless one, for your pleasure, to win recompense for Menelaos and for you, dog-face, from the Trojans; none of this do you pause to consider or care for.

Achilles doesn't have anything personal against the Trojans. He didn't come to Troy for the singular purpose of slaughtering them and their families, nor does he seem to revel in that violence, even though he also says that of all the Achaeans he is the one that conducts 'the greater part of furious war', as the strongest among them. He takes pride in his skill but he isn't bloodthirsty. He came to Troy as much for honour (i.e. winning recompense for the Atreides and restoring Hellas' honour as a whole, which is how the war was framed), as for glory. Therefore, helping Agamemnon win his war and bringing Helen back to Menelaus would have been Achilles' 'plan to achieve glory' if you want to call it that. I know that the take of Achilles being obsessed with his own glory and doing everything in his power to make sure he gets as much of it as he can is quite popular, but I believe that his reasons for fighting in the war are much more multi-faceted than that. And it's also something that he very eloquently explains throughout the Iliad as well.

Later on, in Book 21, when Lykaon (one of Priam's sons who had been sold by Achilles to slavery and managed to find his way back home) implores Achilles to spare him once more, Achilles tells him that he used to spare the Trojans because it is what his heart chose once, but that is no more. And then he kills him—which comes to show us that brutally slaughtering the Trojans he encounters isn't like him at all, and it is not what others expect of him.

As to whether it is in his nature or not, I really can't say. I do think that, as I said earlier, Achilles as a character isn't bloodthirsty or violent for the sake of being violent, he does not kill needlessly even when he does have that choice—we only see him slaughtering like that after Patroclus' death, which is essentially the breakdown of his character. But I believe it also has to do with his upbringing: in a previous ask I mentioned that Euripides in his Iphigenia at Aulis has Agamemnon explain to Menelaus (and the audience) that Chiron raised Achilles to be honourable and to stay away from wickedness. Achilles himself says that Chiron taught him to keep a single heart (i.e. to be steadfast and keep true to his words and actions), to be respectful of the gods and those he chooses to follow (the Atreides in this case) and do honour to them with his spear, unless they lead him or the people astray. That doesn't sound like someone who kills people left and right, nor like someone obsessed with glory no matter what is required to achieve it. And this is a portrayal that is encountered in other works of antiquity as well. Which tells me that this is the way Achilles was intended to be perceived: stubborn and hotheaded, but at the same time honourable, law abiding and very rigid in his moral code leader and warrior.

2. Was Achilles stalling? That is a question that does not really have a straightforward answer imo. Miller chooses to have Achilles stall so he can have more time with Patroclus, but the truth is that in the Iliad we have no evidence of that. Even the extent to which Achilles knew of the prophecy isn't conclusive: in Book 1, he already knows that he will never be leaving Troy and that he'll die there, but it is only in Book 18 that Thetis mentions that Achilles' death will come soon after Hector's. It is not clear in that exchange, at least to me, whether Achilles hears of it for the first time or if he has known it all along. So we can't really know whether he was delaying his own death, nor if he did it for the sake of Patroclus. I believe that anything we say on this topic is pure speculation.

As to why the war took as long as it did: there is no straightforward answer to this either. Perhaps the armies were evenly matched for the most part. Perhaps Troy's walls were just that strong. Perhaps it is the result of bad leadership: as it is hinted a few times in the Iliad, Achilles would get into arguments with Agamemnon and other leaders, presumably because he disagreed with their ways of doings things, which could mean that Agamemnon was just, well, an incompetent leader whose decisions caused the war to go on longer and longer. Perhaps it is a combination of all of the above. For all we know, Achilles, as the extremely straightforward and honourable person he is, wanted to do his best to make sure the Atreides win their war so they can all go back home—and he has already planned and prepared for his death in that case, as he tells Patroclus before he leaves to fight Hector that he expects him to come back safe from the fighting and take his son to Phthia to meet his grandfather and his clansmen after Achilles is gone.

That doesn't sound like someone who fears or stalls his death, but as someone who has prepared for it even if it saddens him. Besides, Achilles' greatest descriptor, 'swift-footed', does not imply a person who would be stalling when it comes to anything, rather a person that sees what he has to do and simply does it; although whether he was ever entirely sold on Agamemnon's and Menelaus' war is also debatable, if you ask me.

I hope I answered your questions!

[reallypleasanttree]

Hey there I’m a huge fan of your works and stories ☺️💯. And I was wondering, what inspired you to write such a beautiful,tragic, and heartwarming story about Kanroji and Obanai?

First off, thank you so much! ☺️ I adore tragic romances, so when I finished reading Demon Slayer I was torn to shreds by Obanai and Mitsuri’s story. Their type of love is my ideal where they simply accept each other as they are. It’s simple and sweet.

They were stripped of their happy ending. If they just had the courage to express their feelings before the end, they could have been happy together. It hurt so much. Especially with the way Obanai viewed Mitsuri and believing he needed to be reborn just to be with her? Heartbreaking. Mitsuri would have loved him no matter what his upbringing was. They both viewed each other in a positive light, but the way they viewed themselves was negative. Obanai thought he was a corrupt, vile creature while Mitsuri was insecure and wanted acceptance. If they had been able to see themselves the way the other viewed them, they could have confessed before the final battle. It devastates me every time and I have to remedy it.

Anyway, I read a ton of fanfics for Obamitsu. “Nights” by Rottorex, Peppermint Tea” by prettyshimmie, and “to die nobly, to cleanse his filthy blood” by Clemsmelody helped inspire it. I started daydreaming and plotting out my own fic.

After a few days of thinking through plot points, I decided to go for it. “Wedding Plans” was supposed to be three chapters. 🙃 however, I kept writing more and more about Obanai’s backstory and deep dived into his psychology. I couldn’t just make him suddenly be better in two months and not explain how he got better. I wanted to show a realistic recovery for someone with depression, anxiety, and childhood abuse. It doesn't happen over night and it takes a lot of effort.

As someone with depression and anxiety, I drew from my own experiences. The part where Obanai didn’t know how to tie his shoes? My parents never taught me, so I taught myself. When you realize your parents didn’t teach you the bare minimum to dress yourself, it hits you like a brick. You explain away their actions and accept it as the norm because that’s what was expected of you.

With Mitsuri, I admire her personality. I love people who are exceptionally kind, always wear a smile, and genuinely care about you as person, not just for show. She’s a normal girl with insecurities and wishes to be accepted. Everyone can relate, I’m sure. Also, I love writing her awkward moments. I wanted to show a relationship gradually develop from a place of admiration and respect. Also, it was fun coming up with different scenarios and how to apply their past lives to the modern era.

To be honest, the parts I write in the Demon Slayer canon universe are primarily inspired by fan art. I wanted to highlight little actions and moments that lead to Mitsuri and Obanai falling for each other. I’m so excited to share the next flashback scene, but I don’t want to spoil it.

When it comes to writing, I love angst, but I have to even it out with lighthearted moments. Like Mitsuri making Obanai food for the first time and then he has a panic attack. My partner calls it "dark cotton candy fluff", which cracks me up. Plus with the cast of characters in Demon Slayer, it makes it easy to keep it heart warming. Kyojuro and Gyomei especially. 🥰

To sum it up, I was inspired to write Obanai and Mitsuri’s story in the modern era because I wanted to explore the beginnings of a relationship, Obanai’s past and family, and ultimately give them the happy ending they deserved.

As for my other Obamitsu fics, I write them on a whim and let my steam of conscious take over ("To my love", "Positive, Positive, Positive", "I want to live this life with you", and "Mrs. Iguro") Or they are discarded scenes from "Wedding Plans" (See "Bitter Torment").

[abnormalityjoseph]

Corey Cunningham • General Headcanons

I LOVE THIS GUY

Oh. Corey. The guy that lives in my head rent free right now? Headcanons for him? Sure.

Totally not like I just finished the novel and was scrambling to throw this out there.

But as for my thoughts on the novel and the movie,,,I like some of the movie’s change in dialogue, but I also feel like the novel gives more..context/insight? Idk how to explain it. Hopefully there’s an extended cut of the movie that I can watch eventually.

•••••

- A very polite and well mannered guy.

-> Well, he tries to be even when the entire town hates him.

- You might have seen my previous post, but I am a FIRM BELIEVER that Corey has some fluffy hair AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

- He’s so??? Emotionally distant towards anybody. If Yk what I mean?

-> [Most definitely terrified of getting emotionally hurt again. Especially with how everyone started to alienate him post-accident.]

-> Oh but he’s really touched starved.

- He may or may not…go a tad bit overboard. With affections towards his friends or a significant other(s).

-> I just think that he may seek physical contact from trusted friends. Platonic actions that would normally be seen a romantic (like hand holding), yk?

- He either gives awkward hugs or really good ones. Never an in-between.

- Corey would be very cautious of somehow stepping on your toes/boundaries. He doesn’t make many friends or ever had a romantic relationship (or generally made many friends—?)

-> Besides, he lost any friends he made after the accident. Because no one wanted to associate with the ‘Psycho Babysitter.’

- Totally would rant about ANYTHING because he doesn’t know social cues or when to stop talking.

-> Or— well, he would rant about his interests and then apologize because he feels like he talked too much. And feel like he just scared away any friend he could’ve made because he wouldn’t shut up.

-> It’s fine though because he would listen to his friends/romantic partner rant for as long as they want to talk. He’s a good listener!

- Might be a bit of a weird one, but I think he’d enjoy Twenty One Pilots and Wilbur Soot’s music. Dunno, just him listening to La Jolla/Saline Solution or Fairy Local makes sense in my head.

-> Also think he’d listen to Ship in a Bottle by fin, but I’ll make a different post for songs. Maybe.

- As for family.. I don’t know, his family life is definitely rough and tense as is.

-Resents his mother for being so overbearing (if that’s the right word for it), but can’t seem to fully hate her because she’s his family.

- He sometimes wonders about his dad, Wally, and if his life would’ve been better with him in the picture.

- He also doesn’t know how to feel about Ronald, his step-dad. He wasn’t really involved in his upbringing, but he’s nicer and way less of an overbearing parent in his life. Yet he still doesn’t do much to stop Joan.

- He doesn’t have social media. That’s probably a given but still.

- I feel like he wouldn’t vent to a friend by text, since Joan can snoop through his phone. He’d rather talk about his problems face to face, so the person can also share their problems as well.

- You know, he saw a psychiatrist for a bit before stopping? I’m assuming that’s the time just after the accident. It’s not a headcanon but it’s just something I noticed while I was reading the novel. It’s on, I think, page 207 on the digital version?

-> “…Mostly he just stayed at home. He had weekly trips to a psychiatrist for a while, but that was it. And this went on for months…”

- Corey may be able to tolerate terrible/mean customers, and the scrutiny or insults that any passerby could give him, but it’ll boil over eventually.

- He used to keep a diary/journal. But Joan (his mom) kept snooping and would find it. Now he can’t keep one in the house.

-> Well— maybe he hides it outside or the house. Maybe nearby the the place he works at.

- I think he doodles. Just on the corners of his notebooks. It’s kinda bad but hey, he never said he was a good artist.

- Post-Accident Corey can’t find that much enjoyment in Horror movies, especially The Thing, after well..you know.

-> Post-Michael Corey can though. He loves horror movies, and doesn’t feel that uncomfortable watching The Thing anymore. Just..fascinated. Over the concept of the creature, I mean. Shapeshifting alien…maybe a slasher movie would be more preferred for him still.

•••••

I… will write more stuff about a romantic relationship with Corey in a different post. And I’ll try to write more about post Michael Corey.

[audhdspeedsters]

I saw a post going around DC tumblr yesterday and it gave me the spite I needed to write this meta that I’ve been sitting on for a while. I will have the comics I use here listed at the bottom of this post.

Fact is, Kara calling Kon an abomination in the New 52 makes sense for that version of him as well as her Kryptonian upbringing.

Now before you jump to conclusions about what I’m about to say, we need to have a bit of a history lesson. A Kryptonian history lesson. Over 200,000 years ago, the Kryptonians perfected cloning and started keeping three clones in stasis of all Kryptonians so that there would be the ability to replace failing body parts or protect people from injury. Apparently, this went off without a hitch for 100,000 years because 100,000 years later (making this happen about 100,000 years ago), there was a 1000 year war as to whether or not this was ethical and whether these clones should count as individual people with rights [1]. There is SO much more that happens in this (including an Oedipus plot??) and afterwards that eventually leads to the explosion of Krypton, but this is the minimum needed for this post.

Now at this point in time, Kon is a genetically modified clone of the CEO of Cadmus Industries. While he isn’t a direct clone, which makes him differ from the clones of the clone banks of Krypton already, his purpose for existing is not to help heal or aid in the health of his genetic source. These things are enough to mark him as different from your standard Kryptonian clone. 

We also know that the issue where Kon gets his name originally specifically hails back to this specific Superman origin and history of Krypton as there are visual and factual call backs to it [2]. One of these callbacks is a Kryptonian Genetic Matrix. Specifically, the one in which Clark was created [1]. As we move forward in the versions of Kon to Teen Titans (2003) by Geoff Johns, we see Kon move even closer towards the idea of a Kryptonian child and further from the idea of clone [3]. He is revealed and retconned to be the son of Lex and Clark.

Now there is no meaning of the name Kon given until the New 52 except for the history of the second house of El and the relation of Clark’s who had the name before the explosion of Krypton [2]. In the New 52, Kon is given a meaning. ‘Abomination’. This name is given to him by Kara when they meet and she lashes out at him [4].

However, in the New 52 Kon is completely different, he is no longer Clark and Lex’s combined clone. He is a clone of Jon Lane Kent. A clone created to get stable genetic material to save Jon’s destabilizing body [5]. This is a complete shift of both Kon’s purpose  and his genetic makeup. This shift firmly places him within the idea of clone that was prevalent on Krypton. The type of clone that caused a war that lasted a 1000 years. A war that the fallout of destroyed Krypton. To Kara, who grew up on Krypton, and would have learned of this war in her history books, Kon was representative of the entire reason she no longer had her home. 

I want it to be noted that we don't always equate names with their meaning. We may pick them because of that, or we may pick them because they belong to relatives as we see with Kon before the New 52. I was unable to find a source for the popular meaning of Kon pre-New 52, “family of choice.”

This is all to say that there is Kryptonian canon and history that is acknowledged even in the New 52 (shocking for the New 52 I know) that explains these behaviors and contextualizes these names and meanings.

[1] Action Comics (1938) Annual #2

[2] Superboy (volume 4) # 59

[3] Teen Titans (2003)

[4] Superboy (Volume 6) #6

[5] Superboy (Volume 6) #19

[noco7]

Who are your favorite TD characters and why? :]

Thank you for the ask. And I have 3 main favorites.

So Noah, Cody, and Courtney. NoCoCo. Lol

Let's get into it:

Noah:

When I say Noah is me, I mean he manages to encompass a lot of phases that I had in my own life.

When I was in middleschool, I was the "smart kid." And I was also bad at sports. So Noah's dodgeball elimination is like... uncomfortably familiar to me. I don't think his actions were "stupid" or "bad writing," nah it’s truth in television. As a kid I was TOLD to stay on the bench whenever possible, and let the real athletes perform. So Noah staying on the sidelines... nah that makes sense. He's internalized the message.

#NoahDidNothingWrong

Even his tantrum at the end of the episode is familiar. Although I've never been that bad, there was a moment when I was playing badminton in gym. I lost a match, and I thought to myself "Well, I know more about X then he ever will. So who's the TRUE winner?"

It's so juvenile, lmao. Taking the "everyone has different strengths :)" and making it into “my strength is the Best.” 

Another thing that I like Noah for is for his... "vibes." He's always acting unimpressed, always like 'who cares' turning up his nose at joy. And that's how I acted my first year of college! (I was 17, so only 1 year older than Noah lol). Because I thought it made me cool or something. But it's just overcompensation, really.

And Noah being "smart," but never actually doing anything useful. Yeah... it happens. That was me junior year of college. Everyone is like "oh you were so smart in highschool," "you're the smart one," But you have nothing to show for it.

God, he's relatable. He's a mix of all the things I dislike in myself, including the "laziness" aspect. So by the very act of liking him, by writing stories where he is comforted, understood, told it's okay to be vulnerable - it feels like I'm loving myself.

Oh, and also Noah is funny af? I decided he was my favorite character before I watched Total Drama. I was watching compilation videos of "funniest lines," "most saveage combacks," or "TD being gay for 5 minutes" and Noah was popping off! Noah has some of the best dialogue.  And that appeals to another side of me I dislike - my judgemental side. So like.... 5/5 on the relatability scale.

Also, I think its funny I've not mentioned Noah's role in TD *at all*. Because he doesn't really have one? His job for TDI and WT is for him to comment on other people. That's it. And that’s fine, that’s the side-character life. No complaints.

I know some people say "Noah warned the guys about Alejandro." And like yeah, he did. But I'm pretty sure Owen and Tyler lowkey already knew. And then once Noah is gone, Owen does nothing about Alejandro? He has to be coaxed by Duncan into doing anything. And then Alejandro just flatters and hypnotizes him? And Tyler gets used for the Gwuncan plotline? So his warning does NOTHING for the show? Lmao.

I'm not even mad at this, btw. Because it doesn’t matter to me whether his sacrificed worked or not - I like Noah because I like me, not because he’s important. (Also Noah’s POC background appeals to me because I’m also POC, and I can project my ‘child of immigrants’ upbringing onto him.)

Cody:

Like a few days ago I explained to someone in dms why I liked Cody despite also hating him and thinking he's whats wrong with men in media. So gonna copy and paste my main points:

1) Although a lot of the things he does is bad (follow Gwen around, not take her NO's seriously) they do indicate some positive qualities: He's persistent, he's optimistic, and he's okay with setbacks. These are all good qualities that I do not have, and would make my life a lot better. And don't we all wish we had the confidence of a mediocre white man?

While Cody needs to learn how to STOP, we could all stand to be a little more shameless, and a little more willing to take risks. 

2)There's also smth really sad about him, and I'm not necessarily talking about his parents. There's a scene in TDI, where he asks Gwen out/about her bra. And she hits him in the dick with an oar. Which... fair, lol.

#GwenDidNothingWrong

But Cody's reaction is interesting to me. He apologizes, (deserved.) And then asks *again*.

WTF? That's weird to me. It doesn't just signal entitlement. It signals that he's okay with physical harm - from the person he loves,  all in the mere hope that he'll end up with said person. And that's pretty fucking tragic imo. At least that's how I interpret it. Because I think most guys at that point would be like, "What's WRONG with you i was just COMPLIMENTING you, you should be FLATTERED!"

But Cody just goes with it?

And for futher proof for my interpretation, Cody ends up telling Sierra she's his best friend during WT. Despite everything she did - multiple cases of sexual harassment, drugging, forced marriage, etc...  Cody is still willing to keep her in his life, to keep her close. Because, think about it, she was the only person who consistently tried to help him. The only one who ever gave him any real compliments.

And that's sad. And also interesting.

Why would a guy like Cody, who in canon is presumably canonically cis, white, and straight, be so willing to take abuse in search of love?

Why is he so lonely? Who raised him to chase after affection like this? And what could his tale say about the problems of public society, and the potential dysfunctions of the private family unit?

And that's the beauty of Cody. Noah allows me to talk about myself, but Cody allows me to talk about the world around me. About sexism and entitlement, about classism, about societal expectations around "love," and "family," and how damaging they can be.

A lot of people see Cody as an "average white man," and if so... then the average fucking sucks and I want to talk about it, lol. I understand why others would be tired of it (and also I don’t think it’s women’s job to Make Men Happy btw. A big reason I don’t ship Cody with women.) But as writer, it’s really rewarding to explore his psyche while also providing a possibility for growth, a way out, and a happy ending.

Cody's also rlly adorable, especially in Total Dramarama. Like he's impossible to hate in that show. There's an episode where Cody risks life and limb to be considered cool by his classmates. There's one where he says "Now I have to live in the sewers *again*." I don't say this lightly, but he's the best character there. He's so funny.

Courtney:

Courtney, I got attached to via the actual show. I watched Action before Island... and she's just really cool? Her entrance is cool, and as I said repeatedly, I love evil woman. But beyond "wow girlboss😮," what else do I like about her?

I like her story. Her actual fucking story. Wow. I might be one of the only Courtney stans who likes how Total Drama handled her. Skdjsdk.

So in Island, we see her battle her class-monitor upbringing, and learn to break the rules. This is done through her BF Duncan. And overall, this is pretty standard "good girl meets bad boy and loosens up" faire. It's nothing special. (I watched Island when I was 20. So I had plenty of time to see that same story in YA romances. So... yeah. Like I said, nothing special.)

But in Action? We see her on the warpath. We see her take charge. She had taken charge in Island, but it was kinda innefectual. The joke was that she'd give orders, but things would go wrong. That she would barely be useful herself? But in Action? She takes thing in her OWN hands. She revitalizes Trent's team. She is also bad to Duncan.

And I think this could have worked, if she blamed Duncan for Harold's actions. Because Harold eliminated Courtney BECAUSE of Duncan. So she wouldn't be far-off. And also slide in a moment where her parents hate her new BF, or like. Imagine if Courtney told her parents she lost, because Harold rigged her out, but it wasn't her fault. He hated Duncan. And her parents are like "What did you expect? You date a delinquent and get suprised when trouble appears at your door?"

And so she's mad at Duncan for dragging her into his fight, for drawing her parent's ire.

No wonder she tries to "fix him." She wants to make him fit for approval, and also prove to HERSELF that she's the one with the control. That she can FIX him.

Some people hate how Courtney has no self-awareness and thinks she's a good person all the time. I fucking love it.

Courtney thinks she's HELPING. After all, she wants to be the best. So why shouldn't others? Why would Duncan have problems with a list of instructions? Courtney LOVES instructions. She loves bettering herself.

C.I.T. Counselor-in-Training. She wants to be a COUNSELOR. She wants to help people, she wants to be a Leader. But she's really bad at it! Because of instead of wanting people to accomplish their goals... she kinda wants them to accomplish what she decides their goals should be. She's not a mad scientist, she's a mad therapist.

This is why I think Action is her best season. Because that's when she goes OFF and really shows her worst potential. And I'm into that, because it gives me a lot to discuss - how the drive for success and efficiency can leave people broken. Can kill personal relationships.

I kinda LOVE that every positive relationship Courtney builds she ends up breaking. Duncan. Gwen. Scott. Gwen *again.*

I'd love it too, if she learned her lesson and developed but like. Out of context, it's so fitting. (In my fantasy rewrite of TD, she realizes something is off in WT, gets better in ROTI, and cements her character change in All Stars)

In WT, Courtney doesn't get to do much. She has the love triangle thing, which doesn't do much for her character because she doesn't learn anything from it? But she's still very funny this season. I don't like her thing with Alejandro. I don't mind CourtneyXAlejandro btw. I'd just rather them team up temporarily.

In All Stars, Courtney gets a new BF. Scott. She's mending her relationship with Gwen. It's looking good, maybe Duncan was the real problem all along. And then it collapses.

I read somewhere that TD writers just thought she couldn't be redeemed. Which is funny to me. Maybe All Stars was to show "no matter how kind to her people are, she will always put money first." It would explain alot, and if that's what they're going for, they succeeded. And ... I'm okay with that. I just wish it was more a struggle for her, or that it was better foreshadowed. But I'm not mad at the direction they chose.

So overall, Courtney is character who started out a good girl with a bad boy, turned out WORSE than the bad boy, and kept going. She did everything to *win*, yet never was a finalist. She burned three friendships for cash, yet never got it. That's poetic, honestly. She tries so hard to be a girlboss, but she's a girl-flop at the end of the day. And I like that. I really do.

Tl;dr: Noah's me, Cody's society, and Courtney is the industrial complex. Not really, because Courtney has never been profitable. She's like a failed start-up company.

BONUS: How I view their possible dynamics

I obviously ship Noah and Cody, as a kind of two losers with opposing strengths learn from each other, but also get on each others nerves. If you want to know more about how I view their dynamic, just read my fic.

Courtney and Noah are my "Do it right or don't do it all," duo. I don't care what their relationship is. Like they'd make great twins who hated each other. Science Olympiad rivals or partners. They'd even be a fine couple (if you're not writing them as related, that is EWW).

I like to imagine Courtney writing a long winded plan, handing it to Noah, and he just rips it in two and tells her he's not doing all that. Which is pretty mean tbh. I also like to imagine Courtney stepping on Noah's back while she forces him to do push ups. I imagine Noah and Courtney standing over a desk in class, asking you 'What grade did you get?" with identical smug smiles. I imagine them gossiping over Gwen together, being roommates, dissing each other's man. "You're dating trash you dug out of the gutter." "At least I'm not settling for a fun-sized McDonalds toy."

I imagine them interacting a lot, actually. I want them to be worsties who grow into besties.

Courtney and Cody is like... I'm split. They would make a really good Hallmark movie. Courtney the busy worker, and Cody who loves the Holidays. The story writes itself. But at the same time I love how they dislike each other in canon. Cuz Cody's a gwen stan and Courtney thinks Gwen should DIE. joking. And also because Cody keeps on being annoyingly sexist. Like in the Greece episode, despite having no athletic ability, he's like "let ME do it, *ladies*" and Courtney is NOT having it. So I guess they also have the range.

Maybe they don't get along until someone's like "Let's get the TWO best World Tour singers up on staaage!!!" And both Cody and Courtney stand up.

[transhawks]

Hi, I love your blog! Do you consider Hawks as a morally grey character?

A little complex this question. I don't think morality is simple enough to discuss in these terms (or such terms as amoral or immoral) because morality is not exactly universal.

Before he killed Jin, I wrote this essay on Hawks's thinking being utilitarian. The meta is outdated now, clearly, but I think it can still offer insight into Hawks's thought process, especially following the revelations we got from Lady Nagant.

To the HPSC, the consequences of an action matter far more than the morality of the action itself. As a organization that, then, depersonalizes choices in terms of numbers and metrics, a simple calculation that five people over one intended casualty is acceptable.

Hawks has been raised in very screwed up extreme circumstances. Until 5-7, he was basically raised in a home that was neglectful, abusive, and incredibly desocializing - his father would beat him for leaving and his mother had to sneak him out once. Following homelessness, he was raised in what amounts to a government institution as a solider with a new identity.

Understanding that Hawks has an incredibly abnormal upbringing regardless of whether his fugitive criminal parents or bureaucrats were raising him is essential to understanding that his perception of acceptable actions is very different from most people. I'd argue most heroes even.

At the same time he has been brought up with this idea that he can do things that are "bad" (seen as bad by society) but are essentially for "good" to prevail. He recognizes that there's dissonance but he's also aware he's been put into this role since he was a small child and is uniquely suited for it.

So here we see Hawks being told to do things - one ignoring civilians hurt by his actions, which is against what he has been trained to do as a hero and his wishes to save others. Two, he manipulated events at the Billboard and set things up knowing that Endeavor was likely going to get harmed doing so because Endeavor had the likeliest chance of surviving something the League would throw at them.

The thing where this makes Hawks actually grey, because the thing is, if he was a straightforward utilitarian, he'd not be showing remorse here. He'd be agreeing and accepting that these are acceptable sacrifices in the current circumstances.

As we can see here, he outwardly says that he knows he's dirtying his hands (doing things that are immoral to him) for what is a moral purpose - peace.

And yet, he regrets it. He shows regrets when it hurts Endeavor, or gets people caught up. I posted that rant yesterday (and a year ago) to explain that killing Jin was ultimately far more Keigo's choice than the HPSC's for a reason. Because we now know from further information that if Hawks had been ready to kill Jin from the start like the HPSC was ordering/expecting him too, he would have. He did not, and it took a battle and several instances of stalling, aiming for nonlethal parts of Twice, and saving Jin until Keigo made the decision to kill him.

What this tells us that the morals Hawks/Keigo has been raised to follow aren't completely something that he believes in truly. That ultimately his actions are bothering him and he doesn't feel morally justified in what he has done - that the ends don't make the means. I'll add the caveat we don't know if Keigo has already been acting like Nagant through his life, but he was raised for a similar purpose.

In the utilitarian mindset, the mere possibility that Jin might go on to kill so many people (remember that was Hawks predicting that Jin would be used for that not something that already happened or was stated by the League) was enough for his assassination. Hawks did not do this immediately because he felt Jin could be reasoned with, or wanted Jin to agree with him.

And then he killed him anyway, and our follow up on that has been...lackluster. He speaks of Jin admiringly, apologizes that he had to kill him. Essentially, we as readers have been deprived of the actual internal reasoning and fallout of Keigo killing Jin.

So, to answer your question - yes, but it's also causing him turmoil. I think deep down Hawks longs for a simplistic morality, where he does "good" things for "good" and things are simply black and white. This was made worse by being raised in an institution that murdered people freely for dissent and anything that threatened the status quo, while wearing the mantle of good. He was raised to do amoral things in a system that was immoral but said it was moral, if that makes sense.

I hope that answers it! Hawks is very complex and layered at times and his whole narrative is wonderful for exploring the themes of this manga. I hope I gave readers something to think over.

[aurantia-ignis]

On the reprinting (and censoring) of children’s books

There's been a lot of talk about editing 'problematic' aspects of books in recent years, whether they are to do with unsuitable language or outdated ideas. 

Sometimes, though... I've found 'changes' made to reprinted editions of children's books that felt... pointless.

For example, some of the new editions of Enid Blyton's books cut entire paragraphs (especially in the opening chapter) in favour of a few new sentences intended to create a whole new intro before jumping straight into 'the action'. I've seen the same done to some of Ben Baglio's Animal Ark books, and some of these cuts/rewrites work so shoddily that it reads extremely awkwardly. 

What is the reason for such cuts? To save money on printing fewer pages? Or because they think that children these days don't have a long attention span, so they have to shorten books?

Another common instance I see (also in Enid Blyton books) include getting rid of any mention of money. Off the top of my head, this is an exchange in Blyton's mystery series:

,

Original:

"Lend me your bike?" Ern asked.

"Sixpence," said the thrifty owner. Ern parted regretfully with his sixpence and....

.

Reprint found in my country:

"Lend me your bike?" Ern asked.

"Cost you," said the thrifty owner. Ern parted regretfully with some money and...

.

Again, why the change? Because we live in a country that doesn't use pennies? Or is this done also in Britain, where that amount for borrowing a bike no longer makes sense due to inflation? Whatever the reason, this feels like pointless censoring. It's not like the child reading this would be completely confused if they had no idea what 'sixpence' is, or if they were used to things costing a lot more. I, as a young child living in a country where we only use dollars and cents, learnt English currency from Blyton's books. I learnt about pennies, tuppenies, ha'pennies, shillings, half-a-crown, pounds.... All things I wouldn't have learnt if my books had censored everything with 'it was money'. 

Leave unknown, unlocalized things in books. Let children be confused! Let them ask questions! Let them learn! 

I'm reminded of the release of the Great Ace Attorney game last year, in which the localization chose to use language that was accurate to Britain in the Victorian era. There were words and phrases I knew (thanks to my Blyton upbringing!), and there were words and phrases I didn't know, particularly Cockney rhyming slang. But that just made me note them down to look up later.

And yet, there were apparently a lot of Americans who hated the text because they 'couldn't understand the language' (which is still dumb, because all the most important plot points of the game is still easily understandable and you can still finish the game with no problem). 

Hmmm, could it be because.... hese people didn't grow up reading texts that often had different things not seen in their own culture, so they didn't get used to learning about other countries and cultures? 

 TLDR: Stop censoring books, especially children's books. Even if there are 'problematic' ideas in them, let those stay, and leave footnotes if you must. Ask them (in the footnotes, or have parents/teachers do it) to consider these ideas. Ask them how they feel about it, and explain how things have changed. Instead of keeping children ignorant of the past, teach them about the past, and let them think. Let them learn. 

[bookwyrminspiration]

I'm still wondering why tf Sophie kissed someone that she knew liked her as a way to say "See? Friends" like that must've been so heart breaking for Dex omfg

Also, Sophie just really comes off as attention seeking to me. I can't pin point it but she seems like a real big attention seeker

My theories are that it was:

1. to prove to herself that it wasn't what she wanted, as she's accommodating enough when it comes to her friends that if she didn't have said proof she always would've felt bad and "what if..." so it was just as much to see for herself as it was for Dex

2. to take away the power of the kiss from Keefe or Fitz and cause love triangle drama later, instead attempting to give Dex his "fair share" (I don't know how to word it bear with me) as a legitimate love interest while also dismissing said status

3. because it's got a big of dramatic flare and books love that!

The thing is, I don't think she went into the kiss with 100% certainty with how it would end. She was hesitant to go that direction with Dex and felt weird about it, but Dex explained his perspective a little, how no one would think it was weird because they're aren't biologically related. So that was Sophie challenging her own hesitation based on her human upbringing and her relationship with Dex and trying it out. Seeing how it will feel to give him the fairest assessment she could. Why a kiss? Because it's quick, immediate, and makes for a more interesting story than the two of them having a long thought out conversation (though they had part of one afterwards, which I think was good and appropriate). I think that was her genuinely making an effort, not just a way of dismissing Dex like "see how that didn't feel right? we shouldn't date."

That being said, it definitely was an unpleasant and embarrassing situation for Dex, hence the time the two spent apart as he thought about things and got through it. It was heart breaking! He'd liked her forever (his words not mine), and it just wasn't going to happen.

Would I suggest this course of action, kissing your homie to see if you're a good fit for each other, in real life? Not in the slightest! Relationships take work and communication and effort, and kisses aren't a good judge of chemistry. I know my partner and I fit together well because we're both autistic (if you're autistic I highly recommend dating another autistic person it's fucking amazing), we both communicate in similar ways and we use that to talk about our boundaries, to ask each other things, to have those serious conversations. We share our interests and listen to each other and help each other work through meltdowns when we can. We're conscious of each other's likes and dislikes, our sensory issues (I don't eat peanut butter before I see them because they hate it, they take note of if I have socks and if there's carpet, etc).

If I evaluated my partner based purely on kissing, I'd be making an entirely inaccurate judgement of our compatibility. But in the context of a novel? These aren't real people, and so we can do more fun things like kissing for the intrigue, and then follow it up with some conversation for the maturity. It's a different balance

I don't want this post to get too long so I'm only going to briefly comment on the attention seeking, but we can talk about it more separately! Could it be the times where she's talking about how she's the moonlark so she should be involved in more things? Or her feeling bad when she's excluded (like when wearing the circlet)? Or her desire to know everything that's going on? Or how she seeks out others to help her all the time to serve her own interests (like going to Oralie to get a meeting with Gethen when Mr. Forkle told her not to)?

Those are a few possible attention seeking behaviors that could give that vibe. It's an unexpected (at least to me, and it's not a bad thing) quality to attribute to her, so I'd be curious to look at it more!!

[bikelock28]

I’ve read a lot of your Black family centric stories on Ao3 and I’ve noticed that Sirius essentially treats Regulus as a punching bag in most of them(for lack of a better word lol). It does definitely show a more nasty and not exactly justified side of Sirius, but at the same time- I understood that it was the result of many factors(his upbringing, being a teenager, general life stuff, dealing with anger and frustration) and it does help to explain his actions, even if it doesn’t excuse them.

My question for you- do you think Sirius did care for his brother at all or was it really just dislike/anger/resentment? Most of the interactions I’ve read between the two brothers in your stories are fairly negative, but I see it as Sirius just being extremely frustrated with a lot of things and Regulus being the easiest person to take that out on(because in “An Autumn” at least, he really can’t fight back against the adults in his family 🤷‍♀️). His behavior and actions towards Regulus are certainly harsh and negative, but at the same time I’ve never believed that Sirius actually hated his brother(even if canon and a lot of fanfic shows they had a rocky relationship to say the least XD). I was also curious to know how you thought Sirius reacted to his death(perhaps both publicly and/or privately depending on how he found out) and do you think his opinion on Regulus would have changed at all if he knew what happened in the Cave? (My personal answer is yes, but it also depends on when and how Sirius finds out)

Anyway, I’ve really enjoyed your writing and I especially like your stories about the Blacks even if they do always feel rather intense and emotionally draining by the end XD

Thank you for your reviews, and for this thoughtful question. You’ve clearly thought a lot about my writing and how it’s shaped your headcanon. Thank you very much. Did Sirius did care for his brother at all or was it really just dislike/anger/resentment? 

Both. Anger is caring. To not care would be callous indifference- which I wrote that Sirius pretends to others, and perhaps to himself, is what he feels. But to bully someone the way he does Regulus is clearly not that.

If you meant “care for” as in love…it’s hard to say because most of S and R’s active relationship was when they were children, so had a different understanding of love to adults and teenagers. I think when Sirius was a child, if he saw Regulus in a burning building or about to fall off a cliff, he would have saved him. But I don’t know if that counts as love necessarily.

As for when they grow up and S runs away…it can be very difficult stop loving your family, even if you want to stop loving them. “Can’t help loving you even though I wish I didn’t” isn’t just a trope for romantic relationships. 

This is not something I’ve experienced personally, and even if I had, all family estrangements are different so it’s hard to say. I tried to avoid Walburga’s chapter of Bottle becoming too We Need To Talk About Kevin, but that comparison seems relevant here- she knows her son’s done something terrible (from her perspective), and she hates him and herself for it, but she also can’t help but love him.

I was also curious  to know how you thought Sirius reacted to his death(perhaps both publicly and/or privately depending on how he found out).

Backtracking to R joining the DEs in the first place: it was after S ran away and left school, so they wouldn’t have been each other for a while. Plus Sirius and his friends are in the Order, and people from school are in the DEs. So I don’t think it would have been a huge shock to Sirius, although I do think privately he would have been angrily disappointed and betrayed. Family can make you feel that way, right? “I feel let down and furious even though I saw this coming”.

When Regulus dies, Sirius has experienced the death of friends/colleagues in the Order, and presumably some combination of the Potter/Evans parents. It’s fun to write him as a badass carefree 20-year-old, but all of that generation are surrounded by so much death. So the R’s death, despite him being S’s brother, might seem insignificant to Sirius in amongst all the deaths of A. The Good Guys, B. People S actually knows and cares about. That’s definitely what he’d tell people. And he’d probably say R was a prick, an idiot, “one less of those bastards to worry about eh?”. 

But of course it couldn’t be insignificant could it? This is his brother. I think privately S would be quite jarred and unmoored by it. It would make him feel very disconnected from his family because the R he’d imagine in his head would be a few years younger than the R who died. Again, even if you want to be disconnected to your family, a reminder of it can be uncomfortable.

Selfishly S also be worried the Order would be more suspicious of him and his connections. 

I think he might possibly open up to the Marauders about this after a couple of drinks. But I don’t think he would actually mourn R.

do you think his opinion on Regulus would have changed at all if he knew what happened in the Cave? 

Of course. S never thinks of R as brave, and what R did in the cave was extremely brave- both in what he had to do, and because he was betraying Voldemort. I think S would be surprised and impressed by this. He’d realise that perhaps he didn’t know Regulus at all. But he also knows he didn’t want to and R still joined the DEs, so I don’t think this realisation would make S feel regretful. 

[silyabeeodess]

About the Pomefiore arc as well...Something I never got about TWST? Why aren't Neige and Vil stepbrothers? It seems like an extremely obvious writing choice that would've fixed at least some of the writing issues with Pomefiore. I mean…

Align Vil more with the Evil Queen.

Make Vil's rivalry a lot more personal and give it more weight.

Help to explain why Vil's so frustrated with Neige outside of him getting the parts that he wants. If that was the case, then Vil might be still bitter about his father marrying another woman with a son that he doesn't like. Vil might still try to give out the olive branch to Neige for his father's sake, but even then he still feels frustrated since Neige still irritates him due to everyone seeming to always adore him while his efforts are ignored. Deep down, Vil might feel like Neige is stealing his father's love and affection, even if he feels childish for even thinking that.

It would make Vil poisoning Neige have a lot more impact. Vil poisoning Neige is wrong either way. Let's face it. Poisoning family is a lot more shocking than doing the same to a guy you used to be coworkers with.

It's still something that baffles me. While it might've been to try something different, the game struggled to make the Japanese audience sympathetic towards Neige even after that half assed explanation in the next arc (been here long before the ENG version came out, and witnessed that happen), so it's not like trying to remake the wheel worked out anyways. Sometimes the most obvious option is the best one.

I can see that being an interesting decision by the writers that would've taken their characters in another direction, but I can also see two reasons why they weren't written that way: Neige's relationship with the dwarves and how it would affect both of Vil and Neige's upbringing by placing them in the same family. I'll continue below the cut since this does have small spoilers for the Japanese version.

In Book 6, Vil confesses that Neige and the Dwarves have lived together since they were children and hints that was likely a hard and humble life. The first thing this backstory does for Neige is give him a reason to know the dwarves personally, mimicking Snow White's seven as a found family rather than as just the friends they're described as in Book 5. Moreover, the reveal that Neige has had a hard childhood does give him a bit more sympathy, granted, later than we as an audience would've wanted in order to care about him. It also gives more to Neige's personality as a Snow White parallel besides being a chipper lookalike: He's someone who has started from humble beginnings. While Snow White was born as a princess, due to the queen's actions, she wasn't treated as one and had to work hard from a young age. It's implied that Neige had to do something similar, but for the sake of his own family and survival rather than being it forced by someone else. He's an actor not just because it's what he's good at, but it's what supports the people he cares for most.

Meanwhile, Vil's upbringing was the complete opposite: His father was also a famous actor and his family was well-off. If anything, having Neige start out this way would make him even harder to sympathize with because it would remove all struggle from Neige as we presumed in Book 5: Not only would he have been the darling actor loved by everyone, getting all of the best roles and taking the spotlight, it would've also given him a silver spoon to suck on from childhood.

It's possible that they could've had Neige's mother also be someone of humble means and have them both work hard to survive prior to the marriage, but it would still pale things since Neige would be living a charmed childhood from then on. The only way I see that it wouldn't would be by also giving either Vil or his family members a more villainous role in the past, making them Neige's oppressors just as the queen was Snow White's. Again, it would be an interesting dynamic with them as step-siblings, with one possibly not truly being truly accepted by the family: However, it would also make Vil harder to sympathize with as a protagonist, since he'd have started out as a petty bully with his actions just getting worse rather than someone becoming frustrated and losing patience, then doing something awful in response to those negative emotions.

I think the thing that affects Neige's acceptance by the audience the most, as you also mentioned being frustrated by, is the timing of the reveal of Neige's backstory. It's explained all too late and quickly becomes barely a footnote as we players are soon swept away by the attack on NRC by S.T.Y.X. We needed a bit more of an expansion on his and Vil's long-term relationship and (one-sided) rivalry. We needed at least hints in Book 5 that Neige too has struggled to get where he is, and anything as small as overhearing him get excited at the fact that he can cover a bill or buy nice things for his family would've helped. The writers could've done something similar with Neige that they did with Ruggie or Deuce when explaining that their families weren't in the best financial situation and each therefore had to come up with their own ways of getting by. (This also would've allowed Deuce to act as a middle-man between Vil and Neige, as someone who wants NRC to win, but has sympathy for where Neige began.)

[ot-is-spilled-blog]

‘Our language is a reflection of ourselves.’ – Cesar Chavez.

Four weeks ago, there stood a girl dressed in green scrubs clutching onto her belongings in the community out of fear of the unknown. This girl was both naïve and sheltered in her upbringing. Pieces of privilege from her own life were beginning to be challenged and reflected on. The injustices and the lives of others, so close to her own home had a stark contrast. It was black and white. This is a reality in South Africa, there is a lack of balance in our societies because of overriding injustices. That girl is me, a final-year occupational therapy student thrust into her first day of community fieldwork with fears, worries and anxiety.

Cesar Chavez, who is a civil rights activist, stated that ‘Our language is a reflection of ourselves.’ He goes on to explain how this represents growth in a person (Chavez, 2023). This blog aims to reflect on my experiences and thoughts on the 4 weeks, I have spent working in the community of Cato Crest and Denis Hurley Centre and the lessons learnt.

Much of my anxiety, was due to feedback and commentary from previous students. I heard numerous complaints and rants. However, I began to quickly realise that other people’s experiences cannot shape mine. It was after the second week of fieldwork that my thinking shifted, and the magic occurred.

As clinicians, we must always begin by thinking critically. Critical thinking allows one to become solution based. This ensures the best possible intervention for your client and ways in which your therapeutic skills could improve (Doyle, 2022). It is very important to look at life from every side and angle. This is what I struggled with in my first few weeks of community. Previously, I was so used to working within the box and this was dependent on whether I was in a paediatric or psycho-social fieldwork block. Since I began this degree, it has always been emphasised, how OT is based on being holistic to a client. But I have never truly achieved this up until community. As my wise supervisor repeatedly asked, ‘How is your session any different from a normal paediatric session?’, ‘What if this was the last time seeing your client?’ This was the missing puzzle piece for me, what if it was?  The gears shifted in my mind. This is the reality of community-based practice.  Therefore, I had to now become confident, and ensure every aspect of OT was being addressed in my session or else I would be failing as a clinician and doing my client a disservice. This a lesson to carry into community service.

A few moments stuck out to me and are impossible to forget. My previous fieldwork block was at Newlands Park Centre for substance abuse users. Within my first week at Denis Hurley Centre, I bumped into a gentleman whom I was working with at NPC. It felt like fate. He had a happy ending, he visibly looked well and was still sober. He was holding his little daughter's hand and is working on mending the relationships in his family. He was still benefiting from the social work counselling and even attended my substance abuse group to motivate those in active addiction. It felt like a success. However, on the flip side, there was another gentleman who also knew me from the rehabilitation centre, he is currently homeless and relapsed within 48 hours of completing the program.  I began to reflect and ask myself, ‘What went wrong?’

Was it the intervention that failed him? However, the previous gentlemen were a success story. So perhaps it was his own actions and negligence? When I spoke to him more at DHC, I realised that he had the tools and knowledge for sobriety but did not implement this. This is what I realised occurs in other communities too.

Similarly, Thandeka’s Creche in Cato Crest was previously given many resources by students over the years. However, on visiting the creche it was bare of all resources. Previously, a recreational area was painted and created for children, this is now filled with rubbish and rubble. There are countless stories of projects being vandalised, stolen, or lost in the community. I am not sure how we can tackle this in the future. Perhaps, at the creche, we can begin taking inventory each time services are provided. I still have not answered my question of why people in the community cause harm to what is benefiting the wider population. I am afraid our services will not stop this, but the nature of occupational therapists is perseverance, and we cannot lessen or withdraw our services out of fear of theft, vandalization and crime. If we did this, we would be doing our profession a disservice by not trying to dismantle injustices and promote health and well-being.

The children at Dalton Creche come from a distraught home environment. There is an ongoing sewer issue, crime, drug abuse, and poverty, and the overall environment is not safe for play and development. At DHC, our sessions are done in a very different environment, the children have access to everything from hot meals to safe playing and technology. After visiting the actual creche, therapy sessions began to be structured differently. As I realised, we were not being holistic at all. Therefore, environmental safety was often discussed with the children using pictures, and cues to try and make therapy realistic and beneficial to their home environments.

In the Cato Manor clinic, I felt this process of learning was very realistic and prepared me for community service. As you do not have much preparation time and need to interview, assess, and provide intervention within a limited amount of time. This is what I struggled to implement but have become much more conscious about this.

All in all, despite the hardships experienced, this community block prepares you most for community service and working in primary health care or government facilities.  Imposter syndrome is real but do not mistake your lack of experience or knowledge as the inability to do something. We cannot be defensive if something goes wrong, we need to reflect on our interventions, consider constructive criticism and use this to improve as every single day comes with new lessons to be learnt.

Imposter Syndrome: 8 Ways to Deal With It Before It Hinders Your Success (hubspot.com)

The importance of self-reflection (irisconnect.com)

How To Give and Take Constructive Criticism (With Examples) | Indeed.com

8 Ways to Cope with College Anxiety and Stress (healthline.com)

References

Chavez, C. (2023). Cesar Chavez Quotes. Retrieved August 18, 2023, from BrainyQuote: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/cesar_chavez_389927#:~:text=Cesar%20Chavez%20Quotes&text=Our%20language%20is%20the%20reflection%20of%20ourselves.,and%20growth%20of%20its%20speakers.

Doyle, A. (2022, March 15). Critical Thinking Definition, Skills, and Examples. Retrieved August 17, 2023, from ThoughtCo.: https://www.thoughtco.com/critical-thinking-definition-with-examples-2063745

Gepp, K. (2021, May 20). 8 Tips for Coping with Anxiety as a College Student. Retrieved August 18, 2023, from healthline: https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/college-anxiety

Herbert-Smith, K. (2023, March 27). The importance of self-reflection. Retrieved August 18, 2023, from IRIS: https://blog.irisconnect.com/uk/community/blog/importance-of-self-reflection/#:~:text=We%20learn%20by%20experiences%20and,from%20just%20experiencing%2C%20into%20understanding.

Indeed. (2023, July 31). How To Give and Take Constructive Criticism (With Examples). Retrieved August 17, 2023, from Career Guide: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/constructive-criticism

Naidoo D, Van Wyk J, Joubert RW. Exploring the occupational therapist’s role in primary health care: Listening to voices of stakeholders. Afr J Prm Health Care Fam Med. 2016;8(1), a1139.

[inescapableaspect]

Having just gotten back up to the Gigapause I’m gonna say that Aranea is frustrating to me bc like. On an objective level I Get it, I Could’ve Fixed Her since I do enjoy receiving information and exposition and nobody listening to her was the biggest part of her problems, and it’s a bum deal that Paradox Space literally cannot allow her to be relevant without everything having been fucked already and her only making things worse by trying. But on the other hand and on an emotional level I’m just like. The scene with Jake. And her actual dialogue and manner once she enters the session is so………sanctimonious in a specific way that hits a very sore spot for me for personal/life-history reasons

Her dialogue aboard the ship, where she says about how getting in touch with Vriska and with Mindfang's journal has made her better able to appreciate making difficult/unpopular decisions for the good of everyone just makes me wonder like. The rule is to never take what Homestuck characters say about themselves at face-value, but is she so forthright and expositional by nature as to be an exception? Is the foregrounded reminder that Mindfang was her alternate self meant to show that she always had these capacities or tendencies regardless of the differences between Beforan and Alternian upbringing, or is the point meant to be that she failed because she tried to be someone she really wasn't?

Again I keep thinking about the scene with Jake, and how she only backed off after he made his discomfort abundantly clear rather than seeing it as wrong per se to make an advance on a teenager

And then when Meenah and Vriska are talking about her we again have to keep the above rule in mind. We can already see Meenah's hesitance to agree with Vriska to stop trying to be relevant or be the ones to defeat Lord English. Meenah arguably knew Aranea better than anyone and she tells her during that phone call that her plan is an awful idea. I've seen it said that if she had talked the plan over with someone beforehand she would have realized, and again I agree with that, but is there any reasonable inference we can make for why she didn't try to bring it up with someone, whether Meenah or anyone else, given her drive to explain things? She's just always been such a difficult character for me to get a read on, again partly due to personal reasons and in part because she feels a lot more like a plot device than a majority of other characters do

And it really bothers me that we don't get a "Johnny Got His Gun" moment after she's killed again where she might've reflected and talked with someone and reached another conclusion about the best course of action! Instead we just get a mean-spirited joke affirming the popular view that she's a nobody. And Watsonian conjectures on the mechanics of being a revived ghost dying again in a doomed timeline don't satisfy me on the Retcon seemingly completely erasing her

[criminalmindzjunkie]

The More Loving One

Masterlist

Summary: Professor Reid finds himself falling for a student. 

A/N: This fic is based on this request. I changed a few things up, but I hope you like the finished product!

Long time, no see! It seems like forever since I got to sit down and just enjoy writing something. And enjoy this, I did. I approached this one a bit differently than I usually do, but I like how it turned out none the less. I hope you all enjoy my take on the Professor Reid arc. The first poem I use in this fic is titled The More Loving One by W.H. Auden, and the second is from a collection of Perry poetry.

Also, I recently hit 2k followers, which is absolutely unbelievable. I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am for each and every one of you. This fic is my love letter to you. Thank you all so much. 

Pairing: Professor!Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content Warnings: a few swear words maybe?, teacher x student relationship, age gap, exhibitionism (sorta?), vaginal fingering, unprotected sex

Word Count: 4k

           For as long as Spencer can remember, he’s always had a predilection for the finer things in life.

           Spencer attributes the origin of his preferences to his upbringing. In his childhood, before his mother’s disease got the better of her, she exposed him to all sorts of literature. While he ventured to read all types of writings, he’d always been partial to tales of extravagance. A young Spencer Reid sought refuge in the profligacy of it all, as it was so starkly different from his own reality. Forced to bear the burden of household and a sick mother from an early age, Spencer’s own life left little room for reckless indulgence.

           Now, as a single adult male, Spencer makes it a point to give himself up to the finer things as often as he can. Spencer isn’t a rich man, nor is he careless with what hard-earned money he does have. He simply likes to treat himself to the occasional five-star meal, and even more frequently, posh clothing and rare books. Walls lined with hundreds of antiquarian novels and a closet full of Comme Des Garçon cardigans are where the indulgence ends, however, and until recently Spencer was content with this.

           But when she strolls into his life on the very first day of his teaching career, Spencer knows that his small luxuries will no longer be enough to keep him satisfied. The part of him that longs to have only the very best roars to life as he takes in every perfect inch of her. She stands before him, the embodiment of divinity and grace, looking like every fantasy he only dares to conjure up in the late hours of the night. A litany of cliches from every piece of romantic literature he’s ever read spring to the forefront of his mind in the instant that her eyes met his, but there is nothing stereotypical about the way her gaze banishes the air from his lungs. It is as jarring as it is intoxicating. He never wants to look away.

           Unfortunately, she doesn’t feel the same. With a light flush of her cheeks, she turns away from him, and in an equally unfortunate turn of events, she proceeds to shuffle down the aisle and into the second row of seats to the right of the podium. The realization that washes over him feels like ice water in his veins.

           She’s a student. Worse even – she’s his student.

           Spencer wrenches his gaze from her as if he’s been burned, and the fiery shame of his embarrassment makes him tug at his collar. As he struggles to stave away the lingering heat in his chest and even more embarrassingly, the tightness in his trousers, Spencer chastises himself. His own carnal urges often go ignored, a fact that is glaringly obvious as he cowers behind his podium in an attempt to hide his arousal. He feels more than a little bit pathetic. No self-respecting thirty-five-year-old man gets hard just from gazing upon a beautiful young woman.

           When Spencer pulls himself together enough to start his lecture, he positively forbids himself to look her way. It is hard to fight the urge, but every time he catches his eyes wandering to her, he reminds himself that she is an indulgence he simply cannot partake in. No matter how badly he wants to.

--

           It doesn’t take long for her to notice him noticing her.

           In the early days of the semester, she manages to convince herself that the stolen glances are but a figment of her overactive imagination. That, or an unhealthy dose of wishful thinking. But as the semester stretches on and the professor’s eyes linger more and more, wishful thinking gives way to a startling realization that she isn’t alone in her attraction. Professor Reid is, to her complete and utter astonishment, just as taken with her as she is with him.

           This is all but confirmed when a slight brushing of the hands during an exchange of papers leaves them both with flushed cheeks and pounding hearts. Both of their heads snap up, two sets of eyes meeting in a prolonged stare that results in an understanding of sorts. It’s mutual, this thing blossoming between them. She can see her own hopes reflected in two velvet pools of brown – can see the longing, the desire that burns within them. Her heart soars, as she imagines his does, and she accepts the papers with a smile.

           She also imagines that, if he could, he would tell her to wait for him. He would tell her that, for now, their relationship must stay strictly professional.

           This doesn’t stop them from sating their cravings in other ways.

           She makes it a point to stop by during office hours at least twice a week. Her visits always fall under the guise of her studies, but within minutes their hushed conversations stray from the professional and towards a more personal nature. She learns of Spencer’s mother and her condition, of his unusual job and his coworkers that were more like family. In return, she tells him about her upbringing in southern California, as well as her dreams of becoming a criminal psychologist. They never go as far as to discuss what will happen when the semester comes to a close. It is an unspoken agreement that the end of the semester will find them in each other’s arms. All they have to do is wait.

           Spencer can’t voice his affections with words, but he more than makes up for this with his actions. Without fail, every Monday following the very first clandestine brushing of hands, lavish bouquets of flowers arrive at her workplace. Each bouquet is always paired with a notecard inscribed with a brief explanation of the meaning behind that week’s flower of choice. Cherry blossoms to pay homage to her beauty, plumeria to symbolize their new beginning, agrimony to convey his thankfulness that she is willing to wait for him.

           Her favorite bouquet arrives four weeks before the end of the semester. As she steps through the doors of the bakery, a vase full of nine red roses sits atop the counter. The sight of them nearly takes her breath away. She pauses for a moment and runs her fingertips across the velveteen petals before plucking the notecard from its place.

           This week, Spencer chooses to forgo the explanation in favor of a messily scrawled poem;

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

that, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

we have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn 

with a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

let the more loving one be me. 

           That evening, Spencer receives his first bouquet from her. On his desk sits an arrangement of pale pink ambrosia.

           The meaning isn’t lost on him, but if it were, the note that sits next to the vase makes her intentions clear.

We never had to force love.

We were drowning in it from the moment we met.

--

           Spencer is horribly frustrated.

           A mere twenty feet away from where he stands, the notoriously garish and wholly unprofessional PhD program director is gesticulating wildly to the young woman that stands trapped between him and the hors d’oeuvre table. To find Professor Van Wesep in such a position is not uncommon, due to his penchant for trying to charm (terrorize) the prospective female doctoral candidates. The man is practically a walking harassment complaint waiting to happen. Spencer would abhor Van Wesep even if he weren’t the only thing standing in the way of him and his lover.

           At long last, the semester has drawn to a close. The lonely nights spent longing to hold her in his arms are a thing of the past. By the time the sun rises again, Spencer will no longer have to wonder what her body will feel like pressed against his. He’ll be thoroughly acquainted with every inch of her, and she with him. The thought sends a thrilled chill down his spine.

           The torturous foreplay they’ve been engaging in for the last four months would have surely broken a lesser man. Spencer would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted on more than one occasion to have her during one of her frequent visits to his office. Some days, when her visits came later in the evenings, just as the sun began to dip low in the sky, her eyes would glisten in such a way that told Spencer her thoughts were none dissimilar to his own. That glimmer of lust had him holding on to his restraint by the skin of his teeth.

           And here they were, on the last evening of the semester. Final grades had been submitted and were released hours prior. Spencer would have been content to skip this event altogether, in favor of more… recreational activities, but his lover insisted on attending.

           Initially, Spencer assumed her insistence lay in her desire to mingle with her future peers and mentors. Her true intentions come to light when she breezes into the room clad in a pair of sleek, designer pumps. Her lips, painted fire engine red, curl up into a playful smile at the sight of a slack-jawed Spencer Reid. The devious glint in her eye twinkles sinfully in the light.

           Tonight isn’t a social call at all. Tonight, she wants to play with him.

           And play she has.

           From the second she arrives all eyes are fixating on her celestial beauty. Peers and mentors alike trip over themselves in their haste to capture her attention, if only for a fleeting moment. She works the room flawlessly, leaving a trail of smitten men of all ages in her wake.

           The most smitten is Spencer himself, because he’s the lone recipient of countless heated glances, as well as more than a few knowing smirks. She well aware of what she’s doing to him, and she takes pleasure in watching him squirm.

          Spencer intervenes when Van Wesep makes the ill-advised decision to reach a hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. He barely has the time to withdraw his hand before Spencer is upon them.

          “I apologize for the interruption,” Spencer casts a faux apologetic glance at his colleague, before settling his gaze on his target. “Ms. Y/L/N, may I speak to you for a moment?”

           She looks positively gleeful. Perhaps Spencer should have intervened hours ago.

           “Absolutely, Professor Reid.”

           The honorific sends a jolt of heat straight to his groin. He definitely should have stolen her away earlier.

           The two of them say their goodbyes to a confused Professor Van Wesep, whose imploring eyes follow them as they hurriedly slip from the party and down the hallway.

--

           “Where are we going?”

           Spencer leads her down a long corridor, far beyond earshot of the other guests. Pushing her into a dark corner, he positions her between himself and the cold wooden door of an unoccupied office. The only sounds that can be heard are the distant thrum of the music and the eager pants falling from his lover’s lips.

           Spencer pulls her into a searing kiss, one hand tangling in her hair and the other finding purchase on her waist. He worries for a moment that he’s being too rough with her, that he should have taken a more careful approach to their first kiss, but she assuages those worries when she kisses him back with equal enthusiasm. Her hand reaches between them and clutches his tie, then she’s pulling him closer and whining wantonly against his lips. Spencer takes this as an invitation to slip his tongue inside and he finds himself letting out a low groan when he tastes a hint of strawberry.

           Spencer pulls away to catch his breath. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

           “Oh, I think I do, Professor,” she laughs, breathless. “Probably just as long as I’ve wanted to do this.”

           Spencer jolts forward when her hand slides down to cup him over his trousers.

           “Could’ve done that a lot earlier if you hadn’t insisted on teasing me for the entire night,” Spencer growls through gritted teeth. He’s more than a little proud of his ability to string together a sentence with her hand working him over with slow, steady strokes.

           He trails a line of kisses across the underside of her jaw, before taking her earlobe and nipping it lightly with his canine. Spencer’s actions are rewarded with a full body shudder. He dips his tongue in the hollow at the base of her throat and her hands ball into fists against his dress shirt.

           “Spencer, please.”

           Spencer hums and pulls back to look at her. The hand in her hair lowers, and he trails a thumb across where her nipples are hard against the fabric of her dress.

           “Yes, my love?”

           Her eyes flutter against the weight of her arousal, and Spencer twitches in his pants. The sight of her with her hair disheveled and her lipstick smeared on account of him is a heavenly thing. He doesn’t know how he ever deprived himself of such a splendor.

           “I want you. Right now.” She punctuates her words by pulling him down into a frenzied kiss. One of her hands tangles itself in the hair at the nape of his neck while the other busies with tugging his shirt out of his pants.

           “Right now?” Spencer taunts, mouth against mouth. His hand trails down the side of her breast, caressing her rib cage and her hip before stopping at her upper thigh. Spencer’s fingertips toy with the tops of her lace thigh highs. “But anyone could walk by and see us.”

           “I don’t care,” she argues, fumbling clumsily as she struggles to undo his belt buckle.

           Spencer’s wandering hand dips below the hem of her dress to explore the silky-smooth skin of her inner thigh. She’s soft here, too, he thinks to himself as his hand travels up, up, up. He stops just short of where she wants him most and she lets out a despairing cry.

           “You wouldn’t mind someone walking by and seeing you with your pretty legs spread wide for your professor?”

           Spencer brings life to his words by lifting her leg up, hitching her thigh around his hip and pressing into her. The silk fabric of her dress rustles as he pushes it up and out of the way.

           A breathy moan tumbles from her lips as he rocks against her, dragging his arousal up and down the front of her lace panties. The friction is maddening in that it provides only the smallest bit of relief. It’s not enough for Spencer, and judging by the way she desperately pushes down the fabric of his pants, it’s not enough for his partner, either.

           “Need to get these off now,” she murmurs against Spencer’s mouth. An eager hand tugs at the elastic band of his underwear.

           Spencer places his hand on hers, stilling her movements. “Not so fast, baby. Gotta make sure you’re ready for me first.”

           Her fingers clamp down on Spencer’s wrist, guiding him to the sodden lace between her thighs.

           “Don’t think that’s gonna be a problem,” she whimpers as Spencer’s fingers take appraisal of the drenched cloth. “In fact, I think four months of foreplay is sufficient enough. Wouldn’t you say?”

           “Maybe so,” Spencer muses, voice muffled as he sucks at the skin of her neck. “But I’m not willing to chance hurting you our first time together. You’re entirely too precious to me.”

           Spencer captures her lips in a kiss so sweet it has her sighing into his mouth. When he pulls away, he fixes her with a smile.

           “You’re not particularly fond of these panties, are you?”

           Her eyebrows pull together. “No, why?”

           Spencer pulls at the flimsy fabric harshly and it gives way under the force of it. He reaches back to stuff the thong in his back pocket.

           “That’s why.”

           Spencer’s lips come down against hers at the same time his middle and index fingers drag across her slickness. His foresight pays off when his mouth muffles the sound of her cries. As confident he is that they won’t be found, a cry like that would certainly have drawn unwanted attention.

           The swipe of his thumb across her crest paired with the gentle pressure of his fingers dipping into her heat is enough to make her legs buckle. Had it not been for Spencer pressing her against the wall, she surely would have fallen to the ground in a trembling heap.

           “I could get lost in you for hours,” Spencer groans, curling his fingers inside her in such a way that makes her clutch desperately to his shirt.

           “Spencer, oh my God,” she keens. “I need you, please.”

           “You have me, my love,” Spencer whispers the promise against her parted lips. “You’ve had me since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

           Spencer speeds up the onslaught of his fingers until the telltale tightening of her heat warns him of her impending climax. He has to bite down on his lower lip to regain his own composure. The feeling of her tight and wet around his fingers is almost too good.

           “Spencer, I’m getting close,” she whimpers.

           Spencer continues until she’s on the cusp of tumbling over the edge, until one more pass of his fingers against her crest would surely seal the deal, and then he’s removing his hand and taking a step back.

           “Spencer, what the fu-,” she pauses when he promptly shoves his pants and underwear just enough to free himself from their painful confines. “Oh.”

           A dazed smile makes its way to her face as Spencer presses himself against her once more. He sweeps her up into a kiss comprised of pure, unadulterated desire, before pulling away and smirking deviously at her.

           “Jump.”

           It takes a moment for her pleasure fogged brain to make sense of the request, but as soon as it does, she complies without question.

           Spencer’s hands grip her thighs firmly and in one swift thrust he sheaths himself into her fully – an indulgence so grand that all others dull in comparison. Now that he’s had the finest, felt it wrapped around him like warm velvet, he can’t imagine a world in which he must live without it.

           “Spencer!”

           Spencer swears he’s never heard a sweeter sound than her crying out his name as their bodies come together for the first time. It’s synonymous with a siren call, he thinks, because in that moment she could lure him to certain death and he knows he would go with a smile.

           His lips seek purchase on the exposed skin of her chest as he buries himself in her paradise again and again. The sharp sting of her heels digging into his back with every thrust brings out a sort of primal urge in him, spurring him to rut up into her like a man possessed.

           “You feel perfect,” Spencer groans out against the flushed skin of her neck. He presses a soft kiss to where her pulse bounds just beneath the skin before pulling away and locking eyes with her. “When I’m old and gray and can remember nothing else, I’ll remember this. I’ll remember how it felt to kiss you for the first time – how it felt to touch you. How it felt to worship you and make love to your body.”

           Spencer’s voices catches, thick and overwhelmed with emotion.

           “I’ll remember how it feels to love you.”

           Her breath catches in her throat and sharp pang of panic burns hot in his chest. Had he misinterpreted her affections? Did she not burn for him in the same way? Perhaps the ambrosia meant nothing. Spencer’s movements falter, and for several torturous seconds he’s nearly paralyzed with fear.

            She silences those fears with a kiss.

           “Oh, Spencer,” she sighs as she presses her forehead against his. “I love you, too. More than you could ever comprehend.”

           Spencer resumes moving in and out of her, but the frenzied feeling from before is replaced with something else now. Something softer, but no less passionate.

           “Yeah?” he inquires, searching her eyes for any trace of insincerity. He finds none, and it’s a relief. Any hint of falseness in her claim would surely lead to a heartbreak he could never recover from.

           “Yes.” The word trails off into a moan. “I love you, Spencer Reid. I don’t imagine I’ll ever stop.”

           Spencer’s heart jolts and he whines pathetically against her mouth. “I’m counting on that.”

           “I’m close, Spencer,” she pants, her breath hitting his face in warm puffs. “Don’t think I can last much longer.”

           “Me, too.” Spencer nudges her nose with his own. “Reach between us and touch yourself, my love. I want us to cum together. Can you do that for me?”

           She nods, and the hand that clung to his right shoulder dips in between them to rub tight circles against her crest. Spencer doubles his efforts when he sees her eyelids flutter closed, and the resulting tightening of her core leaves him panting hard.

           “Spencer, I-” her breath catches in her throat as Spencer delivers a particularly strong thrust. Her head falls against his shoulder, her soft moans of his name like heaven to his ears.

           “Cum with me, baby,” Spencer grunts out desperately. He needs it like he needs air to breath and water to drink. And once he has it, he knows he’ll need it again and again.

           She gives it to him with a muffled cry of his name and he’s instantly swept away, drowning in the blissful way her body sings for him. His body follows her lead, shattering completely under her fingertips.

           While he’s been through similar acts with previous partners, those instances always felt impersonal and clinical. The caresses and whispered words were all a means to an end, an end that usually left him feeling lonelier and emptier than when he started. But right now, as he feels the beat of her heart pressed against his own, he swears he couldn’t feel fuller - full of adoration, full of affection, full of love. It’s beautiful and overwhelming and everything Spencer didn’t know he was looking for.

           A raucous round of applause erupts from the direction of the party, startling the two of them. Spencer feels her laugh against his neck.

           “It’s almost as if they were applauding us for a job well done.”

           Spencer presses a chaste kiss to the crown of her head.

           “As they should. That was sensational.”

           Spencer carefully pulls out and lowers her to the floor. He wastes no time in tilting her chin up and capturing her lips in a reverent kiss. Spencer hopes his lips convey his gratitude.

           The two of them pull apart and set to making themselves presentable. Their efforts prove to be in vain when Spencer points out a dark purple love bite nestled into the crook of her neck. She counters this by taking note of the smudge of red lipstick on his collar.

           “What an adulterous pair we make, Professor.”

           Spencer rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “I’m not your professor anymore.” He bends down and places a kiss to her lips before taking her hand in his.

           “I suppose you’re not,” she muses as they meander down the corridor. “Whatever shall we do now?”

           As the two of them step out of the dark hallway and reenter the party, Spencer smiles to himself. Visions of wedding rings flit through his mind. Spencer supposes he’ll have to take a break from the posh clothing and rare books in favor of saving his money. He’ll buy only the finest ring for his future wife, after all.

           “I have a few ideas.”

-

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[mrmrswales]

Exclusive: the ‘profoundly powerful’ moments that shaped Duchess of Cambridge’s children’s charity work by Camilla Tominey

It all started with secret visits the public never got to see. Newly married, and with the world’s press chronicling her every move – down to the details of her designer dresses – the Duchess of Cambridge resolved to go "below radar".

Acting as Prince William’s "plus one", rather than a fully fledged solo royal in those early days, the newest addition to the Royal family knew that she wanted to find a cause she could champion as impactfully as Diana, the Princess of Wales’s landmine campaign; it was simply a question of where to find it.

Having already announced her first patronage of Action on Addiction, a charity working with people with drug and alcohol problems, Hope House, a women-only rehabilitation centre in Clapham, south London, seemed as good a place as any to start.

It was October 2011 when the then 29-year-old Duchess paid the first of several, incognito visits in a bid to find out what had sent its clients on a downward spiral of self-destruction.

According to Rebecca Priestley, who accompanied the Duchess on the visit and would go on to spend five years as her private secretary, it played a pivotal role in her decision to put childhood at the heart of her philanthropic endeavours.

Speaking on the record for the first time, Mrs Priestley, who is now an executive coach, recalled:  "I remember going up to Anglesey, where they were living after the wedding, to have a conversation with the Duchess about her royal life."

At that point, she had the philanthropic world at her feet. She could have done anything she wanted in the charitable arena. Typically, she had put a lot of thought into it already. Addiction was an issue she was instinctively thinking about – but she was also genuinely interested in understanding what support was there and what role that played in the bigger picture of mainstream societal issues."

With the Duke having flown to the Falklands for a six–week tour of duty with his RAF search and rescue squadron, Mrs Priestley put a programme together to support the Duchess’s desire to "listen and learn"."A lot of it was behind the scenes, just talking to people and hearing where it was that they needed more help.  The one thing that united all of the women at Hope House was that the derailing had started so early on. They could trace the problems in their adult lives back to childhood."

A subsequent private visit in February 2012 to Clouds House, a treatment centre in East Knoyle in Wiltshire, served as further confirmation that the early years should be a key area of focus. But it was during a later meeting with female inmates at a detox unit at Send Prison in Woking when the penny well and truly dropped.

"It was a profoundly powerful moment,” recalled Mrs Priestley. "You go in there with this preconceived idea that these women have done things wrong, that it was their fault. Then one woman started speaking to the Duchess about her earliest memories of seeing needles on the floor of her home."

She had always thought addiction was a misunderstood issue, but after this, she became concerned that there was a pre-destiny about those affected – an inevitability about it. These women were born into it and there was very little chance of escape."

The experience set in train a sequence of events that will next week culminate in the Duchess, 39, stepping up her ambition in driving awareness and action on the impact that early childhood can have on society at large.

She will launch a new initiative through the couple’s Royal Foundation to further explore the science around early childhood, raise awareness of the issue and foster collaboration and partnerships across relevant groups.

According to Lord Hague, who became chairman of the Royal Foundation last September, the "ambitious" new project will be equal in stature to William’s £50 million Earthshot Prize, launched last year with Sir David Attenborough to find workable solutions to climate change and environmental problems.

"The Duchess truly believes this is one of the great issues of our time," said the former Tory leader. "This is the central plank of her work in the way conservation issues are for the Duke. It’s a hugely significant moment."

While politicians are often in a rush to make a difference during the comparatively short time they have in office, royals are there for life, which perhaps explains why Kate has taken 10 years to get to this point.Having been instrumental in launching the Heads Together campaign with William and Prince Harry in 2016, designed at tackling the stigma and changing the conversation on mental health, it was not until 2018 that she convened a steering group of experts to look at how cross-sector collaboration could bring about lasting change.

In January, she delivered a landmark speech after her Five Big Questions on the Under Fives survey garnered over 500,000 responses.

"People often ask why I care so passionately about the early years," the mother-of-three said.

"Many mistakenly believe that my interest stems from having children of my own. While of course I care hugely about their start in life, this ultimately sells the issue short. If we only expect people to take an interest in the early years when they have children, we are not only too late for them, we are underestimating the huge role others can play in shaping our most formative years, too."

Pointing out that the social cost of late intervention has been estimated to be over £17 billion a year, she added: "The early years are therefore not simply just about how we raise our children. They are in fact about how we raise the next generation of adults. They are about the society we will become."

According to Eamon McCrory, Professor of Developmental Neuroscience and Psychopathology at University College London, the Duchess "has a vision of how she can help transform how we as a society view and invest in the early years for the benefit of society".

Describing her interest in "the role the brain shapes our early experiences and how that sets us on a path to adult life", he explained: "When you look at very young babies and infants, on the surface they don’t appear to be engaging in complex emotions so there's a tendency to underestimate the millions of synapses that are being formed every minute. But science is telling us we have to look under the bonnet.

"There’s no question that for the Duchess, this is a lifetime piece of work. The last five years laid the foundations, now we are entering a more proactive phase.” Described by one source as “thoughtful, professional and determined to do a good job,” there is a sense that Kate has never been in it for the early wins, but the long haul.

As one well-placed insider put it: "She took the job very seriously right from the very beginning. She continues to want to get it right and do her very best - for the institution, for William and the importance of the work she’s doing.

"She doesn't just want to rock up for a picture opportunity, which is why she used to get quite frustrated with all the early focus on what she was wearing. She really cares about this stuff."

Another source said she was "much more fun" than people give her credit for, pointing out how she has grown in confidence having found a cause that she is not only passionate about - but also well informed.

As Lord Hague put it: "She’s been reading the books and had trustees reading the books. People assume her interest in the early years is because she has children – actually it comes from all the adults she’s met." The other key influence has been Kate’s own idyllic childhood.

Brought up in leafy Bucklebury in West Berkshire by her entrepreneur parents Michael and Carole Middleton, pictured below with the royal family, the Duchess has never made any secret of how fortunate she has been to be brought up in a loving and supportive family.

"She always recognised that she benefited from such a great start in life," added Mrs Priestley.

"That’s why sport and the outdoors has always been a key theme for her. She was always asking how those sorts of experiences could be made accessible to others."

For Dame Benny Refson, president of the children’s mental health charity Place2Be, where the Duchess has been patron since 2013, Kate’s grounded upbringing has proved an asset.

“The Duchess listens and people feel heard and valued. It’s nothing to do with privilege. The groups she meets in challenging areas in London don't look at what she's wearing. What makes a difference is that an important person has shown a genuine interest in them. She can relate without passing judgement, which is so important."

Having started out as a reticent public speaker, the Duchess has finally found her voice – and next week she will have a lot more to say.