#hmmmmm. dog coded

[novaae]

i need to make an oc who's only job is to be devoted to bumi.... will think of a backstory later but maybe when he was a teenager bumi in his 20s kind of saved him from bullies on shore leave so he joined and just stuck to bumi...... he's absolutely tearing ghazan a new asshole for even looking at bumi btw.....

i already have an oc whos only job is to crush on izumi and annou everyone with his massive crush...... but bumi deserves something too....

[flatstarcarcosa]

I want to say that I can’t believe she did this, but it’s half a lie if I do. Emily will do anything at least once if she can convince herself its for the greater good, or progression of science, and she is very good at convincing herself that everything is.

What I really mean is that I can’t believe there was enough of him left to work with.

I said he was coming with us because in the moment it felt like not just the right choice, but like the only choice. For that moment we weren’t... us.

We weren’t standing in her office looking into strange eyes on a familiar face, we were back in the diner. It was the same feeling when I found them, starving and each with a foot on deaths door, and I knew that leaving them behind wasn’t possible.

I know they were both almost grown when we met, and I’ve never once tried to make them think of me as their father but I chose to make them my responsibility and that never changed.

Leaving Isaac to die in that building has felt like I failed at that, and I worry now that bringing his clone back with us has less to do with the clone and more to do with me attempting to assuage that guilt.

Maybe my life has just been a series of failures and attempts at fixing those failures then failing themselves, and it’s just an endless circle I’ll never break free of.

If that’s the case, what was I trying to fix when I found them in that diner?

[no-see-um-incorrect]

The Monsters Gone he’s On The Run

Featuring masc Darlin 

TW:⚠️child abandonment⚠️child abuse⚠️ mentions of past trauma⚠️ A Baby⚠️ mentions of religious trauma⚠️

No proofread

Today was a normal day. Darlin was on a job. and Sam is at home. 

Bored out of his midday mind.

Darlin wasn’t due to be back until after nine. He had done all of his work earlier in the week. and the house was clean. 

You may not know this it is not a very common fact, but this is a vampire’s worst nightmare. Or more accurately the vampire Sam Collins, worst nightmare.

Sam is never usually by himself alone with nothing to do. Usually if he’s by himself he has something to keep him busy or if he’s doing nothing he’s doing nothing with Darlin.

But no.

“just me myself and i *sigh*”

So there he was laying on the couch. Hat tilted to cover his eyes. An annoyed grown coming from him every now and again. 

“I mean, I guess I could…..prep dinner…I don’t usually. but anything to pass the time” 

Sam got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen, taking out his ingredients and laying them on the counter, chopping up the brussels sprouts, drizzling olive oil adding salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes  putting them in the Tupperware container, shaking them up. Poring the rice Krispies In the Ziploc. slicing the chicken into strips. 

Once he was finished, he took a look at the window.

“I think the sun is just set enough”

He put the food away setting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. And head to the bedroom. 

“if I put on Darlin’s pack hoodie And Maybe My bandanna….” he looks out the window again in the distance, he can see darker clouds.  “I should be OK.  what’s left of the sun will be covered by storm clouds in a bit anyway”

Sam throws the hoodie on and looks in the mirror, he didn’t realize how thick around the arms darlin’ was. His face turned red, the thought of his partner standing with him, fogged up his brain. 

Sam grinned to himself.

when Sam first started seeing his mate, Vincent had said to him “the more time you spend with your partner. the more you miss them when they’re gone. They could be across the world or at the gas station”

Now Sam was kicking himself in the ass.

Because here he stood, in front of the mirror, dorky grin on his face, wearing his partners hoodie, wondering if this is what Asher meant when he said Sam was Twink coded. Proving Vincent right.

Sam heard a rumbling in the distance That quickly snapped him out of his thoughts.

He quickly got to the back door, and headed out for his walk, bringing his camping lantern, since it was near dark out by this point.

“🎶if I gave you my hand, would you take it. And make me the happiest man in the world~🎶if I told you my heart couldn’t beat one more minute without you Boy~ hmMmmM🎶”

Sam was well into his walk when the rain started coming in. it was only a sprinkle and he wasn’t too bothered by it so he continued walking. Admiring the trees, the way, the branches moved in the Bend with the wind.  the gentle, whistling of wind and rock.  the docile sound of puppy yelping, The-..wait a second 

Sam heard a dog whine coming from a large patch of bushes. The closer he got the more ear piercing it became, and the more painful it sounded. The wind and rain grew stronger as Sam attempted to search the bushes.  it wasn’t until he reached his hand down into a bush He felt something sharp. 

Kneeling down, he opens the bush up, flinching against the pickers To investigate the noise. 

“oh my God…..” laying before him wasn’t a normal puppy like he had expected 

It was a wolf pup.

And his memory from inpowered anatomy courses were true

This was a shifter pup.

Sam quickly assesses the damage. And sees a vine of thorns wrapped around the pups back leg. “shit…hey there a little one..i I don’t know if you can understand this but. I’m Sam.  i’m gonna get you out of here but I need you to stop squirming… can you do that for me?” The pups eyes frantically move around Sam’s person before relaxing. Their body going almost still apart from their leg twitching. 

“thank you. I’m gonna need to act fast The lightning ain’t too far away, so I’m gonna use my pocket knife, but I’m gonna cut far away from you  alright?” The pup gave a wine in response. Sam takes out his pocket knife and quickly cuts the vine. releasing the pups leg. Sam starts to get up when he notices a somewhat heavy plastic, grocery bag in the bush next to them. Just to be safe, he grabs it.  and heads towards the house. 

————————————————————————-

Sam gets into the house and closes the door behind him. With one hand, he grabs a soft blanket out of the hall closet.  spreading it across the kitchen table. and laying the pup on top of it. The little one seemed content. although its leg was in rough shape, and it was drenched in water and mud. It didn’t seem too bothered by it all. 

The baby pup looked up at Sam with its big brown eyes and Sam’s heart couldn’t help but squeeze  “you’re cute you know that? But you’ll be a lot more cute once you’re cleaned up and patched up……you might wanna shift back into human form” the pup cocked its head in confusion  “oh shit…you don’t know how to control your shifting yet do you?” Sam sit down and lays his head in his hands figuring out what to do next. The pup lays down and rolls on it’s back looking up at Sam through his hands  “i’ve raised a puppy before, i’ve bathed one….. i’m gonna snip the rest of that vine off ya see if it caused any damage then you’re going to take a bath. Sound good to you?” the pop rolls back over and makes a playful baby bark at Sam 

————————————————————————

“there you go. all better” the pup laid in his arms  bundled up in a towel, freshly cleaned. making the closest noise to a cat purr you could hear from a wolf.

Sam was rocking them back-and-forth. Even though the pup was in brighter spirits, it was still a little shaken up from the earlier events. In attempt to calm the little one down.  he did what usually helped with his child patience back when he was a healer. A lullaby. 

“Shhh shhh your OK…your safe now🎶 close your eyes~🎶 have no fear~🎶The monster is gone. He’s on the run and your daddy is here🎶🎶Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful. Beautiful boy~🎶 beautiful beautiful beautiful🎶 beautiful boy🎶”

Before Sam knew it, the pup was asleep in his arms.

————————————————————————

“SAM! I’m home! You in the kitchen?” “yeah, I’m i’m here!” They make their way into the kitchen and see Sam putting something in the oven. They walk over to him wrap their arms around his waist and him a kiss on the jaw.

“hey there handsome~” “hey darlin” Sam kisses their temple. “how was work?” “well it was work.  Ash got hurt on one of his regulars. So I gotta fill-in for him tomorrow. but other than that.  everything was pretty good” Sam turns around  and gives them a proper kiss. “well I’m glad you’re home” “..i’ll take a few more kisses, but I really got to get in the shower”

“before you do that..I got something I wanna show you…and you have to promise not to freak out..” “OK usually I’m the one saying that….. what’s up?”

Sam walks them to the bedroom. “just be a little quiet..” he opens the door to the bedroom  and in the center of the bed is a laundry basket with fluffy blankets spilling over the top. And in the center is a small fawn and white Wolf pup with a bandaged up paw.

Sam slowly closes the door.

“Sam… that was a-” “baby shifter” “where did it come from?” “I was on a walk earlier, and I found her all tangled up in a bush” “Her? Did you?…did you check?” “not like that. I learned how to tell the difference between a male and female shifter when shifted. back in D.A.M.N”

They Walk back into the living room and sit on the couch.

“so you said you found her was she lost? or-” “abandoned” Sam tosses a plastic grocery bag, full of paper on the coffee table in front of Darlin. They open the bag and pull out the first piece of paper they see.

Piece of paper was a passage from a seemingly old book. From what was still legible it seemed to be discussing hell hounds. with further inspection of the other papers inside  the story of this lost pup became  a lot clearer than Darlin needed it to be.

“oh my God…” “……it’s not as uncommon as you may think it is…..”  “guessing by her inability to control her wolf form  they must’ve just manifested” darlin continued to read through the papers  “she probably went to her parents confused maybe even scared….. they probably didn’t believe her at first until she showed them what she could do” darlin looked up at Sam. He was leaning against the doorway, fidgeting with his necklace.  “and once she showed them… they must’ve been so angry at this thing that was so different. and so complicated that they didn’t even bother with further research  they just thought a priest could fix everything…until it didn’t…” Sam saw his Darlin looking at him with a look of either sorrow or murder he couldn’t tell. He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. “-Um I guess you could say I’ve had some experience here….” Darlin got up from their seat and wrapped their arms around Sam. giving him a kiss. “I’ll ready up the guest bedroom..we got a little one on our hands”

————————————————————————

 Hello

This was very self indulgent.

Part two will be up very soon.

I had  help

@evansotherthoughts @frog-0n-a-l0g @themeridian @froggytimemachineinternet

Thanks for the little bits and bobs of the story. I Appreciate y’all so much ❤️❤️❤️

The next part, we will get an official name for the new little munchkin  as well as them meeting darlin’ and the pack for the first time!

Hope you enjoyed. My glasses are broken so there may be some typos. 

[getousatoruu]

Heya!! For the character game, since we’re link click reblogging at the same time hehe

Thoughts on Lu Guang? 👀

I am glad Lu Guang is actually the first ask!

My first impression: Smart, intelligent, kinda emo...very practical tho

My impression now: GAY IDIOT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE IS FUCKING CRAZY WTF WTF ?!?!?!?!!?!?!

Favorite thing about that character: He would do anything to save his loved ones (read: cheng xiaoshi)

Least favorite thing: He is veryyyyyyyy secretive...Normally I don't mind that but in this show, bro you can NOT keep secrets, it will literally cost someone's life

Favorite line/scene: Literally any Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi scene is my favourite, they have such a fun dynamics too!!! Literally made for each other.

Favorite interaction that character has with another: When Lu Guang tells Qiao Ling he likes Cheng Xiaoshi because he is naive, that was raw, I love that Cheng Xiaoshi has people around him that want to protect him...he deserves that!

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: I REALLY wanna see more Lu Guang and Qiao Ling interactions (which i guess we gonna see a lot more in s3 <3)

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: He reminds me so much of Megumi from jjk, it's crazy...

A headcanon about that character: He loves driving, loves going on long drives, wind in his hair and all...

A song that reminds of that character: I'm Your Man by Mitski

An unpopular opinion about that character: Hmmmmm I know he is very much cat coded but idk he looks like he would own a lot of dogs

Favorite picture: Oh I have a lot but these are top 3

[sweet-sage-tea]

My initial thoughts while playing The Stanley Parable:

MMM THAT VOICE-

"And Stanley was happy."

Ok, I'm gonna do what the narrator says first. Then we can annoy the shit out of him afterwards.

broom closet break go brrr

This game is actually really pretty holy fuck- the lighting is incredible!

2-8-4-5 my ASS, I'll put in whatever code I want!

again, the voice~

*chef's kiss* you did wonderful work Kevan Brighting

haha one of the screens says PIRATE lmao

some of the screens look funky now that I look at them closer. hmmmmm

"And Stanley was happy." (end of first route!)

WOOO BABY, THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

ok door on right, went down lift, and now Stanley has to convince the narrator to stop for directions lolol

The Narrator, unfolding an overly complex road map: Now, if we go right...

Stanley: *glares*

we are well and truly lost. sorry narrator, I'm just too quirky >.<

ok the narrator reset the game and THATS MORE THAN TWO DOORS-

It's an adventure!!!

ok for old times sake, let's take the door on the most left side of the room

he's reset it again

retracing our steps....this game is making my head hurt (in the best possible way)

ok now it's a horror game WHAT?! the atmosphere is actually kinda scary now...

"You Win!" yay! good for me! ig?

another restart and IS THAT MY FAVORITE STANLEY PARABLE CHARACTER????? no, but it is the stanley parable adventure line, so...close enough

lines going the wrong way...smths wrong I can feel it

"Onwards Stanley, to destiny!"

DA DA DADA DADA DA, DA DA DADA DADA DA YEAHHHHH TURN IT UP BABYYYYY THIS IS MY JAMMM

this lines really busting it down sexual style. but we have yet to find out, is it truly goated with the sauce?

FERN. I STUDY FERN. VERY IMPORTANT.

this line kinda sus ngl

poor narrator's getting frustrated. kinda feel bad. anyway he restarted again.

YEAH NARRATOR, FUCK THE ADVENTURE LINE, ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE ADVENTURE LINE

The Narrator:"What do you want our story to be-"

Stanley:"smut."

The Narrator:"...what?"

pat the adventure line. cherish the adventure line. like a litol pup. tiny Boi.

Slice of life AU where The Narrator and Stanley live together and have a dog named The Stanley Parable Adventure Line because of an inside joke.

man's really instructed me to PACE. aight then, pace I will

the confusion ending. poor man's having an existential crisis.

NEW restart and now Stanley's getting dunked on by the narrator.

(right door, past left door into warehouse)

for "her"??? kabdj I forgot Stanley had a wife. ...does that make her MY wife? DO I HAVE A WIFE???? YOOOOOOOO

"...then pick up the phone." man sounds like he's bouta cry LMAO

T-T I DONT HAVE A WIFE AHHHH *loud sobbing*

smooch le wife

cherish le wife

she's gone wtf

I'm thoroughly confused by that ending...

[faerociousbeast]

🍡 - “Who would you want to be your jonin sensei/mentor?”

🐾 - “Favorite non-human character?”

🗺️  - “Which land/village would you want to be from?”

🍵 - “You have to have tea with one of the ‘villain-coded’ characters. who are you choosing and why?”

WOO THANK YOU for the ask :D

🍡: YAMATO YAMATO he is very cool. genuinely no particular deep reason i just like him

🐾: akamaru... thats kibas dog. or maybe pakkun just bc hes funny

🗺️: hmmmmmm tough question... they all do have some pretty major issues 😭😭 so probably just the leaf bc... bad vs worse id choose the bad

🍵: hmmmmm mm m m mmm if the akatsuki count literally anyone from there. if not then... orochimaru i GUESs?? he might be fun to mess w

[alphawolfstabs]

Billy coded people?...

HMMMMM

very not scary, like a Chihuahua and oddly enough.. reminds me of twinks...

I mean very cool people

Unlike Stu coded people, totally scaryyy, handsommmee, and like, totally not a twink

-THE matty lillard

wooooow matty lilly, those are some fighting words right there, you’ve wounded me kind sir

I must say, Stu coded people are more dog coded than Billy coded people

Shall we take a look at Scream and see just how many times Stu acted like a lapdog? That may change your answer about that

Oh and mister lilly, may I call you that? I’m gonna call you that- mister lilly! I have another question for you

What was it like working on the fnaf movie? Did you like having your own scream reference? Also are you ready to be swarmed with even more gay people?

Sincerely, Billy 🫡‼️🩵

[askmissthunder]

Hey Miss Thunder, does your grandmother have any scary stories about her time as a superhero?

Miss Thunder: Hmmm...I don't recall her telling me anything spooky during my training or at least, nothing that really stood out.

Eli: How about we call her and ask?

Red Rabbit: Yeah! That'd be cool!

MT: We can't call her now! It's almost midnight in England! Besides, we're not all gonna hear the call, I don't have a speaker phone.

RR: I do! I can run to my place and get it!

MT: Oh, Cassie, you really don't-

*ZIP!*

RR: I'm back!

MT: -have to.

*Ten minutes of setting up and dialing later*

*Ring ring!*

E: It's ringing!

Talon: Yes, we can hear that, Eli.

*Click*

Nana: *Yawn!* Hello? Who's calling at this hour?

MT: Hello, hello, Nana!

N: *Gasp!* Penny! What a surprise! How are you, my Luv? Is everything all right?

MT: I'm good, Nana! Listen, you're on a speaker and I have my superhero friends here with me.

N: Oh?

RR: Hello, ma'am! I'm Red Rabbit, Penny's friend! I just want to say it's a real honor to speak with a veteran superhero!

T: *quietly* Tsk! Kiss-ass.

N: Oh, the honor is mine, dearie! You're the fast one, right?

RR: Hee hee, that's me!

N: And which one is the "Scary one" that Penny told me about?

T: I think that'd be me. Hello, I'm Talon.

N: Oh, you don't sound scary. You have a very lovely mature voice!

T: Oh, well...thank you?

N: And is there anyone else on the line? Oh! Listen to me! I sound like I'm on the radio! Ha ha!

E: HI! I guess we're sticking with code names but I'm Black Dog!

N: Well, hello there! I- wait.

MT: What, Nana?

N: "Black Dog"? As in...? *Gasp!*

MT: What?!

N: You're Penny's sweetheart! "Eli", I believe? Her mum told me about you!

E: *Blushing* Yeah, that's me. Hello, Ma'am.

N: Ohhh, it's so nice to speak with you, dearie! With all of you, really! Now, what can an old lady like me do for you lot? And Penny, aren't you going to get hit with a charge for international calls?

MT: Well, we had a question for you, Nan, what with it being Halloween time and all but we'll try to keep it quick. Do you have any scary stories during your time as Miss Thunder?

N: ..."Scary" as in how?

RR: Well, like, have you seen any ghosts or fought any monsters during your time in Ocean City?

N: Hmmmmm...let's see...I've never been one for ghosts. They're a dime a dozen.

T: Wait, so you've seen ghosts?

N: Oh, yes! Plenty! But they're not that exciting. You can't punch a ghost, though. I always have to use my connections to get somebody to get rid of it. They're more sad than scary, really. *Sighs*

MT: Nana, you can't just tell us you've seen multiple ghosts and act like it's nothing! We've never seen ghosts!

N: I've told you they're not that bad. Once you get past all the moaning and groaning, they're usually some sad soul who didn't realize they died. In fact, I'm shocked I didn't see one that one time I fought a werewolf.

MT, RR, T, E: WHAT?!?!

E: You fought a real werewolf?!

RR: Weren't we just talking about vampires being real?! If werewolves are real, then vampires have to be real!

N: Oh, yes, vampires are real, too. Nasty little buggers. Don't let the movies fool you. They're not nearly as pretty and they stink like a slaughterhouse. Still, it was funny whenever they tried to bite me and realized they couldn't. If a bullet can't even pierce all this blubber, what chance does a fang have?

T: What'd you do to it?

N: Well, he tried to bite me and I held him in a bear hug he couldn't get out of. I just held him for hours until the sun came up. Pretty simple, innit?

T: Huh. I guess your brother's friend's cousin wasn't full of shit after all.

RR: I told you so!

MT: What about the werewolf?

N: Oh! Yes! The Werewolf! It was the summer of '34 and there were reports of a killer on the streets of Ocean City. 6 women had been ripped to shreds by some fiend. I remember hearing that it was Jack the Ripper coming out of hiding in America but that was a load of bollocks. He would've been an old man if it was him and besides, these murders were WAY worse than the Ripper Killings. I had the misfortune of coming across one.

RR: *Gasp!* Oh no!

N: Oh, it was bloody awful! Literally! I was on patrol one night and well, I could smell it.

E: Eww!

N: I followed the smell and *Sighs* ...it looked like the woman had been, well, "torn apart" doesn't quite do it justice. More like someone had put a bomb inside a woman and her insides became outsides.

MT: Oh my god, Nana! That's horrible.

N: *Sighs* Yes, it truly was. I didn't even know this woman but...I just remember feeling so absolutely gutted. Gutted that I couldn't help her, that I was too late. And when the bobbies told me that the other murders were just like this one, well, I knew I had to do something.

T: What'd you do?

N: It took a lot of patience but I went on patrol every night for almost three weeks straight, keeping my head on a swivel for even the smallest hint of where he could be. Then, it happened.

E: What?

N: I heard a lady scream and I leaped like the Devil over to where she was. I just managed to catch her running into an old apartment building with some man chasing after her. I didn't waste any time and I smashed my way in. Crash! Right through the windows! I got lucky because my entrance distracted the man from his intended victim. "Go!", I told her, "Call the cops!". She ran out and the man slowly turned towards me. He was a big man with fair skin, ruddy hair, and a mustache, dressed like a dock worker. But those eyes. I'll never forget those eyes.

RR: Like a wolf's eyes?

N: Not just yet but they were savage looking. Like a feral animal. Full of bloodlust, they were. He snarled at me, "You made me lose my little lamb. For now, I guess I'll have to settle with a great fat pig."

MT: Did he transform?

N: Mmm-hmm. I could see him growing taller. More wider. His skin was starting to get fuzzy, claws were popping out of his fingernails. i could see his face was starting to stretch out into a snout. The thing is, though, he was taking an awfully long time of actually transforming that I wondered "Why the bloody hell am I waiting for him to finish? Get him now!"

T: Did you?

N: Heh heh heh...I'll admit, seeing that shocked look on his face when I charged at him was soooooo satisfying. I suppose most women he killed were just paralyzed with fear, he never expected one to just go at him while he was in the middle of transforming. He also must've been new in town if he had no idea who I was. I grabbed him by the leg and I slammed the little bastard like a bloody rag doll.

MT, RR, T, E: Whooooaaa!

N: I slammed him on the floor, against the walls, up on the ceiling. That flat looked like a wrecking ball had gone through it. He kept trying to scramble away but I kept reeling him in for more. Eventually, the police did show up so I grabbed Mr. Werewolf by the throat, leaped out the window, and slammed him on the street from five stories up. Made for one hell of an entrance! He was just a mangled bloody mess but with his powers, he was still managing to heal his wounds.

E: Then what happened?

N: After the beating I gave him, the git had enough and practically crawled to the cops. "I DID IT!", he screamed, "I'M THE KILLER! LOCK ME UP! JUST KEEP ME AWAY FROM HER!!!"

MT: Ha!

N: No matter how vicious and cruel he was, at the end of the day, he was just another bully, going after those weaker than him. What I want you to learn from this, Penny, no, what I want ALL of you to learn from this is that no matter how scary a bully may seem, the instant someone comes up that can push back, they start legging it with their tails between their legs. So, never be afraid to stand up to a bully, you lot understand?

MT, RR, T, E: Yes, Ma'am!

N: All right, I'm off to bed, then. Thank you for calling, Penny! It was very nice to hear from you and your friends! Have a Happy Halloween!

MT: Thank you for answering our question and Happy Halloween, Nana! Love you!

N: I love you, too, sweetie! Bye bye, now!

*Click!*

RR: Wow! That was so rad! Your grandma seems so sweet! I want to meet her in person!

T: Yeah, your grandma's pretty cool, Penny. Now, I know what I have to do tomorrow.

E: What's that?

T: Stock up on silver knives. Can't be too careful now knowing both vampires AND werewolves are out there.

MT: That's very true!

[moon-ursidae]

SESSION #9!

as always: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR BOTH GAMES AND THE HBO SERIES BELOW THE CUT!!!

ngl i’m not really feeling this rn so i might not play for very long. and these posts are kinda getting to be a chore and i want them to be fun haha. so idk if i’m gonna keep doing these. i started them so that i could remember my thoughts and stuff when i play. 🤷🏻‍♀️ ANYWAY

total play time: about 3 hours!

hostile territory?? oh geez

i just started the section where abby and manny go to find owen

i’m scared

i’m also fucking horrified for when i get to the ellie fight bc i’ve seen a lot of people say that ellie fights the way that you’ve been playing her??

so she’s gonna be placing hella bombs and is gonna be stealthy as hell and i’m SCARED

god this game is fucking gorgeous

“fuck danny. i’m jealous owen got to shoot him before i did.” hmmmmm. HMMMMMM.

the more i learn about abby the more that i REALLY understand how revenge gets the best of her as well.

abby thanking manny for a bunch of stuff? hmmmm that definitely isn’t a sign of anything

WAIT I’M ON MY OWN AGAIN?? NOOO

i hate being on my own so fucking much

close quarters branch??? hmmm

i like the difference between ellie and abby’s branches

shows a lot about their fighting styles

i hate this long hallway i have to shimmy through

i’m gonna get jumpscared

GODDAMNIT I FUCKING KNEW IT

FUCKING CLICKER JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

damn abby REALLY doesn’t like the seraphites

goddamn

“yea may she guide you right off a cliff” like holy shit bro

“these freaks are in our backyard.” i love how they’re setting it up though. she clearly doesn’t like the seraphites AT ALL. so how she forms her relationships w lev and yara later are really important

i miss seeing what ellie would draw and write in her journal :(

i hear footsteps…

big ones…

am i about to get my shit rocked when i shimmy through this doorway

i was wondering when i’d see infected

i love how you don’t need the code for the safes anymore

i just go through and listen for the different clicking sounds it’s so fun

wait is this egg a goddamn jak and daxter easter egg

fuck yea ‘relic of the sages’

is there an uncharted ring somewhere?

i hope so

SHOTGUN ACQUIRED BABY LET’S GOOOOOO

WHY ARE THERE MORE INFECTED GODDAMN THEY KEEP COMING FROM FUCKIN NOWHERE

woooaahhhhhhh this seraphite truck is cool

“you want peace? stay on your island.” she REALLY doesn’t like them jesus we get it abby

NEW HOLSTER LET’S GOOOO

seraphites!

i’d rather fight people over infected any day of the goddamn week

NO I DON’T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS CRAWL SPACE

NOPE. I DON’T WANNA

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE ROOM WITH THE FERRIS WHEEL IN THE DISTANCE THAT I SEE ALL THE TIME

i’m about to go crazy in photo mode >:)

WORKBENCH FINALLY

THIS SHIT IS SO EXPENSIVVEEE

there are so many fucking seraphites in here oh my god

god that took so long to stealth bc it was so many different levels oh my god

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT IS THE FIGHT SCENE WHERE THEY TRY TO HANG HER HAPPENING RIGHT NOW??????

I’M SCARED

flashback first!

the lights are so pretty in here 🥺

DOG???

DOG WHEN?

is he trying to make moonshine??

LMAO the way he went “abigail.” when she shook the jar

OH I’M ABOUT TO FUCK THIS SCOREBOARD W THIS BOW

YEAAAAA I GOT EM ALL

FUCK ALL YA’LL

13 BITCH LET’S GOOOOOOO

oh my god this is a mural of fucking salt lake city isn’t it?

YUP.

YUP. almost exactly from the pov where joel and ellie were standing

that’s crazy how that’s painted from memory

goddamn

aw the xmas decorations 🥺

THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD

wait is she about to ask him to go to jackson or is this after??

good mood because she found TOMMY.

SO THIS IS BEFORE JACKSON.

I HATE IT HERE.

“who’s more about justice than isaac?” you mean revenge?

everytime i start to like her more they remind me of the crime she committed that was killing joel miller.

but i also see how they keep pushing revenge on both ellie and abby’s side. joel took out the whole hospital to get ellie. to get revenge for taking her from him. for not giving her a choice. then abby wanted revenge for her dad. then ellie wanted revenge for her dad. it all goes in a never ending loop.

if ellie killed abby, lev would want revenge. then someone would want revenge for ellie, and so on and so forth. it would never end. so ellie had to break that cycle.

this is just so crazy bro

ugh okay now that i got that out

please don’t tell me it’s where they’re trying to hang abby

GODDAMNIT I SAW THE RAIN LIGHTING AND TREES AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN

OH GOD

THE SOUND DESIGN????????? ARE YOU JOKING????????

SO GOOD.

this looks fucking amazing

if you told me this was shot live action i’d believe you

THIS IS INTENSE

OH MY GOD

IS THAT EMILY SWALLOW????????????

THE FUCKING ARMORER?????????

HELLO????????

WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE HAHAHAHA

HOLY FUCKIN SHIT

YARA!!!!!

CLIP HER WINGS????

ARE THEY GONNA BREAK HER ARMS??????

OH MY GOD PLEASE NO SHE’S JUST A KID

I CAN’T.

A HAMMER????? WITH A FUCKING HAMMER?????????????

I’M GONNA THROW UP

HOLY SHIT. THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY LEV.

YUUUUUP I SAW HIS BALD LIL HEAD

HOLY SHIT ABBY LET’S GOOO

IT BEGINS.

GIMME THAT HAMMER BITCH.

OH SHIT STALKERS??????

THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME. THE SINGLE TORCH THROUGH THE DARK ASS WOODS???

FUCKING AWESOME.

OH IT’S THAT ONE BITCH THAT AMBUSHED ME.

OH. MY. GOD.

THAT WAS BRUTAL.

SITTING HERE W MY JAW ON THE FLOOR.

GOD THIS EVEN STARTS OUT LIKE JOEL AND ELLIE.

ESCAPING THE QZ AND ESCAPING THE ISLAND

ABBY’S ATTITUDE “fine don’t tell me. i don’t really care.” LIKE JOEL WHEN HE WAS LIKE “i don’t care how you got infected.”

AHHHHHHHH NAUGHTY DOG I’M GONNA YELL

NEW MANUAL LET’S GO

INCENDIARY SHELLS??? AYO???

that’d be good as hell for rat king huh?

poor yara man :(

awe abby’s “stay behind me” she’ll deny she cares but you can tell that she does even just a little bit

more infected!

OH SHIT

SHALMBLER I AM BOOKING IT GOODBYE I AM HORRIFIED

I’M OUT

WAIT.

IS THIS A FUCKING AMBULANCE?????

WAIT IS RAT KING NOW????

I’M SCARED WAIT IT CAN’T BE

NO BC ABBY HAS A JACKET

IT’S DEFINITELY LATER

AND NOW CARRYING YARA AND RUNNING LIKE JOEL DID W ELLIE

WHAT THE FUCK

her hand is so red 🥺

oh my god her arm looks fucking awful :(

THE MUSIIICCCCCC

🎶on my own again🎶

wait. is the fucking boat scene coming up?

i’m scared. this building looks like bad news.

LONG GUN HOLSTER LET’S GOOOO

i was fully expecting to see seraphites out here not infected jfc

ALABAMA COIN

“should be a straight shot from here.” abby you forgot that this is a last of us game

it’s not gonna be that easy

WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABBY

i cannot express how much i DON’T want to go into this building

i’m almost at 30 hours 😳

i think i’m gonna end here actually bc it’s almost 6 am haha

super intense this time!

in only a few hours of playing!

[wpdariacutnes]

🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛

me: people cool, it's just the last today and the snake doesn't match like something

🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎

Me: and das one ask a dys yers now a megaman comunity a

DLN-00X ask so canda stela be a 21 yers old as exe ferst out serie so canda knows universe?

Bit story but dys canda dreamcore a code dys ask:::

stela: what is dvd style again like me das sleep agien a megaman so energi kid but im not See "cool" work

Zero: slightly sharp but not quite a universe as you a das normal look

stela: emm universes canda move is * bit cofuze * like is like show but wirts sade code camera and frowing wes wer

Megaman: *cute a stela be cofuze*

🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛

Bass: *wirts lafing a Day as dys dvd staws universe*

Star: me go bed so later be self a room *total piss dys Day a das go faster a room bed as bass*

Bass: all in all, recently I was laughing at classic megaman like a madman that riu had to give me a a book forw a me head * das teching a universe "boring" * but the stele angel stele was so sexy on me so how else would bunny ers maybe he would be tempted but I'm lazy big lol

You knows ritche * toking a dog*

not like the stele I have this man the same as the little brat and the rudder so I murdered because I am so loved like she enoing me a yes or no so skrue im bruken on home door and finish dys shit home after a dys cabork hmmmmm.... but hey das fine me relly a her sowing same so hmh good filings a past

Deam im so nerd o no NO NOOOO

🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎

Me: a chapter 4 be a boss work of tree

A chapter 5 be a boss snaki egipt

So das teching a be dys more not so fater but in story

🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛🍀🌾🐛

Offical note: 17.07.2022.r

🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎🔮💎

[i-imade-a-thing]

Amphibia Mr. X & Sprig's Birthday Details!

OK these set of episodes are really wholesome! They introduce a new antagonists, characterised anne's parents, and add more to Anne and Sprig dynamics! Anyway, here's some details I notice!

Mr. X

Jenny have a book on C++ and python code

Mr. X is married (judging from the ring)

Some of the movie poster include: Fumigator 5, Train with Face, SPY GUY 12, Suspicion island 2, Boss Dog, She's so 80's

The painting background in the theater have "Primthisle Manor's" from the episode Fight at the Museum and "Love Choice" from the episode Civil Wart

Anne's number pfp is baby anne picture from Temple Frogs

"I though the protagonist is pretty fun, I like that she is flawed and have room to grow" HMMMMM just like some character in this show

The lady keep returning in almost every ep-

Kek anne's grandma reminded me of my grandma

Sonic

When Mr. X said "they're beautiful talking frog", the same melody as amphibia intro(after being transport by box) played

The bathroom stall graffiti include the universal S and "your mom is nice"

Sprig's Birthday

Dante's Inferno is reference to "Inferno", a story of Dante's journey through hell

"In Amphibia it's all about respecting those around you and being grateful for the time you have left alive" really reflect how the culture is affect by how easy for u to die in amphibia

The Santa Monica pier look similar to its real life counter part

Emily(from Adventure in Catsitting) make a return

The dude that have same birthday as Sprig works at "Guber" (aka Uber)

A friend giving a birthday party and force the party to go on...where did I see that before(at least its less toxic and anne didnt force sprig)

A lost dog named "Murphy" poster can be spotted

Anne and Sprig taking the hot air balloon just gave off season 1 energy

The pug named leo(from anne-sterminator) make a return

This....thing(from fixing frobo) make a return

FRIEND PUNCH(from Best Frond) MAKE A RETURN

Sprig's memory about his parent being fuzzy continuation from hopping mall

That probably mean Sprig was at least 2 years old when his parents died

Annnd that's Mr. X & Sprig's Birthday! Mr. X characterized Anne's parent even more and make Anne know that her parents will be able to help if something bad happen, and Sprig's Birthday gave us a fun Anne and Sprig shenanigans, it really gave off season 1 vibe (man I missed this)! Anne and Sprig are truly the best of friend and that scene when they talk about being the best birthday cuz they spend time together is just wholesome!

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Definitely jack with 'I don't want to be saved'

From this prompt list :)   How about a little engineer/code monkey!Jack and programmer Rhys hmmmmm? :3 

This labeled as Binding Agreements. My masterlist archive of bullshit i write can be found linked at the top of the blog or here.  Also found on my ao3 here.

–

“I got him to agree to let you live,” Rhys reported, holding Jack’s hands in his own through the prison bars, but not looking at him. “He’ll overlook the hacking and assassination attempt and everything. You have to leave Helios, though.”

“That’s all, huh?” Jack said somewhat sarcastically, looking at Rhys with a concerned frown. Jack subconsciously moved one of his hands up to his own ribs, feeling the tenderness from getting the shit beat out of him by Tassiter’s goon squad. No way would he get off with something as simple as just an ass beating for his assassination attempt. “Something like this doesn’t come that cheap. What else, Rhys?” Jack squeezed him with his other hand, and Rhys still couldn’t meet his eyes. “Baby… What else?”

“He… I had to agree to move in with him… To be his.”

Jack dropped his hands and angrily turned about his cell. He kicked the stupid Hyperion-branded cot as he tried to reel in his anger. Tassiter was slime, but he didn’t think he would pull something like this. “No. Nuh-uh. I’m not letting you do that, cupcake. Not even for me.”

“Jack–”

“First of all, ew. He’s gross and old and I doubt he’s gotten it up in decades.”

Rhys made a disgusted sound, and huffed to himself. Not exactly something he wanted to think about, and definitely not what was important here. 

“Second,” Jack continued, looking into Rhys’ eyes as he finally met his gaze back at the bars, “You are way too gorgeous to waste. And I think he knows I’d get you off Helios the first chance I got if he let me go.”

“No I- I had to promise I wouldn’t escape,” Rhys admitted, the sourness of the plan still leaving a bad taste in his mouth. He closed his eyes a moment before looking back at Jack. “He said he’d kill you if I left. You know Hyperion is everywhere, Jack.”

“Rhys, no. Just no, kiddo. I’m not letting you do this.”

“I can live with having to stay with Tassiter, Jack!” Rhys spat, eyes unexpectedly moist. “What I can’t live with is you dying! If it means I can save you, then I can do whatever it takes!”

A lump formed in the engineer’s throat and Jack felt his heart clench in his chest. Rhys was way too good for him, and definitely too good to ever be used by someone like Tassiter. “I don’t want to be saved. Not if it means he gets to have you,” Jack stubbornly stated, reaching his hands back outside the bars to try and comfort the other man as much as he could. Jack rubbed Rhys’ forearms through with his thumbs. “Don’t think I’m not going down without a fight, but I want you to leave, pumpkin.” Rhys looked stricken. “Helios, I mean. Take the stuff in my sock drawer, get off Helios, and start a new life somewhere.”

“I’m not gonna abandon you, Jack.”

“Don’t worry, cupcake. You know how resourceful I am. Who made half the shit running this station, right?”

“Jack…”

“That’s right, Jack.” The smile he gave only made the tears fall from Rhys’ eyes, and Jack reached up to wipe them away with his thumbs. “We’ll figure something out, okay? Something that doesn’t end with you giving yourself to that old fart.”

“…this isn’t the time to joke.”

“I’m not joking.” Jack swallowed heavily, feeling his impending doom catching up behind him. He knew he was under surveillance even here, Tassiter taking no risks since the protocol Jack had set up to murder him had gone off just this side of early. If he’d only timed it better, it would be him running this space station with Rhys at his side. “I mean, when’s my execution? A few days from now? That’s plenty of opportunity.”

Rhys couldn’t smile even at the forced-levity in Jack’s voice, holding the engineer through the bars as close as he could get. He dug his fingers into the other man’s jacket, trying hard to contain the sobs that kept breaking free. Jack wished there was something he could say, but unless some miracle happened it didn’t look good. 

It was okay though. Even as the guards escorted Rhys from the area. Jack still had a few tricks up his sleeve, and by this time next week, he planned to be the top dog of Hyperion, not Tassiter.

…He’d just have to get a single one-on-one meeting to discuss the ‘terms’ of his release. He didn’t need his fancy engineering degree or access to a single echo device to make up for his failed-coded assassination attempt.

No, as long as he had the chain on his watch and his strength didn’t fail him, he’d take matters into his own hands.

–

kofi | ao3

[biohazard4]

I got tagged by @melon-san for a 10 characters meme~ thank you!

Rules: List your ten favorite characters from ten different things.

I have a lot of favorites.... but here’s 10 of em I guess

K’ (the King of Fighters)

Lelouch vi Britannia (Code Geass)

Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Itaru Chigasaki (A3!)

Tatsuya Suou (Persona 2)

Ken Kaneki (Tokyo Ghoul)

Killia (Disgaea 5)

Kyo Sohma (Fruits Basket)

Hazama (BlazBlue)

Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII)

i think these are actually just the guys i put on my carrd but eh that’s ok

also i don’t have friends to tag that haven’t already done this recently hmmmmm

[hitchell-mope]

(Film three. After “pirates medley”. The hook sisters have just run into an alleyway near the marketplace)

Harriet: ya shouldna done kiddo

Cj: why not.

Harriet: because it wasn’t a good move

Cj: you might like men drooling all over you but I hate it.

Harriet: you agreed to it.

Cj: I didn’t think they’d try that. So I’d apprecrie you dispensing with the victim blaming if you please.

Harriet: yeah yeah whatever. Lookee o’er there

Cj: aw FUCK!

(They’ve just spotted chadeficent and Ursula some ways away)

Harriet: SEA WITCH!

Ursula: oh god. (Fake smile) Harriet! To what do I owe the

(Cj shoots her in the stomach with a blunderbuss)

The sisters: where is he.

(Ursula straightens up and the bullet flies out of her stomach hitting some poor sap in the head)

Chadeficent: that was Balthazar yes?

The other three: who the hell cares?

Harriet: where is my brother?

Ursula: hmmmmm. Dunno don’t care. That work for you?

(Harriet lunges are the sea witch but Cj holds her back. While this is happening Hadie poofs back in slightly singed and very pissed off)

Hadie: for the record Rodan. I don’t appreciate being sent to Dark Mountain. Chernabog may be insultingly attractive but he’s far too fatherly for my tastes.

Cj: shove off spawn. There’s more important matters at hand

(Hadie chuckles sinisterly. Then force chokes the sisters)

Hadie: oh look at that. Fragile necks and bravado are such an inexplicable combination. And as you will see very soon. Deadly

Harriet: he.. he he mi...dea.

Cj: he...gone

Hadie: what? What’re you talking about?

Chadeficent: oh I think you know

(Hadie’s eyes glow bright grey. He drops the sisters, takes out a silver knife and throws it at Ursula. It slashes her cheek)

Hadie: ever heard of phlegathon tempered steel? It cuts you. Then heals you. But keeps you in burning unbearable pain. Until such time the wielder chooses to release you from it.

(Ursula’s cheek is starting to burn. Steam is curling from the edges of the cut)

Ursula: I was exiled from Atlantica. Whatever petty wound you deal me is of no consequence.

Hadie: yeah but (he sighs) cut you enough and it burns away your very being. So. What’ll it be bitch?

(Ursula growls in irritation and disappears in a torrent of water)

Hadie: now that that’s over oh cripes they’re gone.

(Chadeficent and the girls have left the scene. At the Jolly Roger Hook is waiting on deck)

Hook: GIRLS! What the hell have you been doing. Dukes is dead. And the men say you killed him Cj. If you keep doing this you’ll never land a husband.

Cj: aye. And what of it father?

Harriet: oh god not now.

Cj: yes now. Our brother has been missing for a year now and may as well be dead and all he cares about is his disgusting heterosexual misogynistic bastards of a crew

Harriet (coughing): code red. Code red

Hook: what’re you saying Cj?

Cj: what d’you think I’m saying dad?

Hook: it sounds as though you’re thinking to much like your freak of a brother

Harriet: Harry was bisexual pops

Hook: like I said. A freak. Men are with women. Women are with men. It’s the law of the world. And I expect my children abide by that

Cj: yes and when they don’t you cast them out and they need to take refuge somewhere else. Say a restaurant run by a squid

Hook: if you have something to say then say it.

Cj: ok. I like girls. Always have. Always will. And you cannae change it or me

(Starkey hobbles outside with a tea set. Sees the family feud. Starts to make his way back inside)

Hook: STARKEY! Did you know about Cj’s affliction

Cj: oh here we go

Starkey (diplomatically): uhhhh. I believe that. She. Wanted

Cj: it’s ok uncle Starkey. I told him last year. Considering he was the one that raised me while you were brainswashing Harriet into being Captain Hook 2.0 and Harry was fuck knows were trying to get Tick Tock to chomp his hand off in a vain attempt to get your approval!!!!

Hook: in time this will pass and you’ll be just like your sister

Cj (scoffing): of course. Be like Harriet. The pretty one. The smart one. The obedient one.

Harriet (for once very sheepish): Ceej. Could ya please lemme outta this?

Cj: no. He’s always wanted me to be like you. But guess what. I’m never gonna be who you want me to be

(This is when “sit still look pretty” happens. After the song Cj storms off)

Hook: and do you have any oddities you’d like to share Harriet? Because if so nows the time

Harriet: yes. As a matter of fact I do. For the past seven years I’ve been in uh heh “cahoots” with Gaston junior.

Hook: like the freak and the pansy

Harriet: sort of. Except theirs was more emotional. Ours is. Purely on the physical side. And yes. I’m the boss.

(Hook goes puce)

Harriet: uncle Starkey. I’ll be back presently

(She runs after her sister)

Hook: take me back to my quarters Starkey

Starkey: of course sir.

(He wheels the captain back in side. Harriet catches up with Cj. She finds her in an alleyway surrounded by the felled bodies of ten dogs and one cat)

Harriet: what the hell did you do.

Cj: the one thing I ever got from him, that wasn’t a hand me down from you or Har, was this.

(She holds up a whistle)

Harriet: wow

Cj: yep. Turns out it’s a dog whistle. Which pretty succinctly explains how the bastards could hear it all the way across Neverland when Jane found the treasure

Harriet: and the morbidly obese demon on four legs?

Cj: Tremaine’s moggy

Harriet: right. What you did was incredibly brave you know.

Cj: I don’t like animals.

Harriet: I meant what happened at home just now

Cj: I know. Like I said. I don’t like animals.

(At the core fours old apartment chadeficent has just arrived. Only to see Jafar watching tv)

Chadeficent: hello worthless. Miss me?

Jafar: who...?

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): this better?

Jafar (exasperated): you couldn’t have taken control of a pretty one?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): fuck off you crypt keeper

(Jafar looks taken aback)

Chadeficent: bugs are to be worked out

Jafar: what is it?

Chadeficent: spawn of Cinderella

Jafar: you couldn’t have got the ash girl herself?

Chadeficent: too strong willed (Chad’s indignant voice) hey! (Maleficent’s voice) SILENCE! (Both voices) I am creating a cult. To destroy our children. Ursula is aboard. What say you?

(The next morning. At Evie’s palce)

Mal:...and Ben found them this morning passed out on the couch with like eight tubs of deluxe rocky road ice scattered at round.

Jay: deluxe?

Mal: chocolate marshmallow ice cream instead of chocolate ice cream

Jay (hopefully): Christmas list?

Mal (generating a tin with magic): why wait?

Jay: ooh yay!

Evie: AH! No. Not yet

Jay: awww. I’ve been here for an hour

Mal: let the man eat sis. It’s the least you can do since you are stabbing him with pins when you could just use 🎶🎶magic🎶. By the way. Your hair remarkably black today

Evie (snarling): get outta workshop

(Mal leaves cackling. She goes to the kitchen where Carlos is giving a plate the thousand yard stare)

Mal: hey kiddo. What’s up?

Carlos (softly with a lot of feeling): the cake...it’s gone. An entire macadamia nut chocolate sponge cake. Gone. How? There was enough for fifty people to have two slices each. And it’s all gone. How can it all be gone?

(The twins and Gil come racing pass the room screeching at the top of their lungs with food all around their mouths)

Mal (aside to Carlos): I think I know. (Normal volume). Gil! Could you bring the kids in here please?

(Gil troops back to the kitchen with the twins trailing behind. All three look terrified. Carlos and Mal lift the twins up onto the counter)

Mal (“mom” voice in full effect): now boys. Did you ask your papa to get the cake from the fridge?

Twins: uhhhh...

Mal: it’s ok. I’m not mad. I just wanna. If it was you then that’s ok. If it was Dude then we need to get him to a veterinarian.

Carlos: WHAT?!?!

Mal: oh shit. Sorry honey.

Carlos: listen to me you rotten little————(the twins look at him with the epitome of puppy eyed innocence) 🎶dad. Where are you. You’re good with this type of stuff🎶

Mal: paperwork

Carlos: fuck

Gil: it was us. Squeaky wanted a snack and I couldn’t find anything in the fridge but the cake. We only meant to share a corner but Celia oh crap

Mal: 🎶oh Celia🎶

(The girl melts out from the shadows clutching her stomach)

Mal: did you help Gil and the twins eat the entirety of Jane’s birthday cake?

Celia: if I says yes what would you do.

Mal: give you an antacid and advise you to take it easy with the party food.

Celia: then yes. I helped.

Mal: come on then.

(They head to the bathroom. But Mal’s phone starts ringing)

Mal: it’s Ben. Do you know how to get to the bathroom?

Celia: Dizzy sent me a schematic last night

Mal: good. That’s good. If evo finds out I will plead the fifth. You do know that don’t you?

Celia: wouldn’t expect anything less. See ya

(She runs off)

Mal (answering her cell phone): hello your majesty. Any idea on your eta or should I send your apologies to Jane?

Ben: I wish I was close to being done. But there are so many papers to get through and there’s no use in denying it. People are terrified at what ever killed the guards.

Mal: I could come and help you?

Ben: no. Definitely not. Go have fun. Do the routine.

Mal: but you’ll miss it. Though a private rendition for your eyes only could also be very interes-

Cogsworth: ahem hello my lady

Mal (trying not to laugh): sorry Carlton.

Cogsworth: that’s quite alright dear. I’ll just uh go ahem away

(He leaves and bal bursts into laughter)

Mal: oh that was oh god that

Ben: I I’m so sorry

Mal: don’t be. Just sorted a domestic so a I needed a laugh

(As they’re talking Mal’s walking outside)

Mal: what on the office menu today

Ben: chargrilled Damon foie gras and quinoa

Mal: what no pizza?

Ben: fraid not

Mal: I can always zap you some sausage rolls and mac and cheese cupcakes from the party

Ben: please and thank you?

Mal: and the new cake

Ben: Celia?

Mal: along with your brother and nephews. Carlos was not happy

Ben: of course.

Mal: hey, was chad supposed to meet us at Evie’s?

Ben: I don’t think so. Is he there?

Mal: yeah. Looking like the shalka Doctor.

Ben: oh.

Mal: I’ll go see what he wants

Ben: be careful. Love ya

Mal: always am. Love you too.

(She hangs up)

Mal: hey chad. Whatcha doing

(Chadeficent turns to look at her. Their eyes glow black. And Mal enacts the safety protocols on the house keeping everyone else inside and safe)

Mal: what did you do?

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): oh it’s not chad. Hello my sweet

Mal (breathing heavily): Maleficent?

Chadeficent: mhmm. Now give me my sceptre

Mal: what did you do to him?

Chadeficent: he is simply a mindless hormone driven teenage boy

Mal: yeah, I know, he’s an dickhead. Nobody likes him. At all

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice, very, very hurt): they don’t?

Mal: yeah. You’re insufferable.

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): ENOUGH! Give me the sceptre

Mal: you stole the wand didn’t you. And the staff and the mirror. So why do you need the sceptre.

Chadeficent: I want everything of importance (Chad’s voice) I wanna be king (Maleficent’s voice) I want my daughter back

Mal: I’m not your daughter. And chad you hate magic. Why would you use it to be king?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): I uh I dunno (Maleficent’s voice) he was easily bought with a butter finger and empty promises I have absolutely no intention on fulfilling. Now. The sceptre.

Mal (mind working a mile a minute): h how, how about a story. And I can make you a cup of tea yeah? Or coffeee?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): ooh beer (Maleficent’s voice) very well. But be quick about it

Mal: ok. Ok um

(She turns to the drinks table. This is when “she’s so gone” happens. After which Chadeficent picks her up from the splintered table by the neck)

Mal: why...are..you...doing...this?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): you don’t deserve this. None of it. You belong on that slag heap. You deserve to rot. To be forgotten. I want you all dead. Don’t you see? You can’t be queen. It’s not right. Audrey should be queen. And I should be king

Mal: but...Ben

Chadeficent (still Chad’s voice): ALL OF YOU WILL DIE. YOU. THE MAGIC PEOPLE THE RUNT THE CHICKS THE TRAIOR THE FREAK OF A DWARF. ALL OF YOU. DEAD (Maleficent’s voice) as for me. I want to break you. For you to see how useless you truly are without me.

Mal (turning purple in the face now): get...bent

(Chadeficent drops her and pulls out the wand)

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): there’s never been an ugly bitch who’s been queen. Looks are everything. Bibbidi bobbidi boo

(Mal is washed is black light which solidified into a black cloak. The houses doors are blasted off their hinges and jay stands there completely gold and absolutely buzzing with power. Chadeficent cackles as they disappear in black smoke. Jay and the others rush to Mal’s side)

Carlos: oh my god! Mom are you ok?

Mal (voice hoarse thin and cracked): yes ahem yes ye yeah. What the hells wrong with my voice

(Evie takes the hood off of Mal and cackles)

Evie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! YOU LOOK LIKE

Jay (unimpressed with her behaviour): your mother. When she gave the apple to Doug’s aunt

(Evie stops cackling)

Carlos: what happened

Mal: Chad’s possessed by Maleficent. He wants to kill us all and be king

Carlos: and goat lady?

Mal: wants to break me

Evie: so what do we do

Celia: isn’t it obvious? Hades. Your father.

Evie: he is not

Celia: Mal was right and you know it. So stop pissing about and help me get your sister inside the house so she can get some proper clothes on cause an old lady in a minidress is not a good look. I should know. Cruella used to come to the arcade in the warm days. It’s was horrifying. Thank you Carlos for killing her last year by the way

Carlos: much obliged Ceels.

(Mal’s phone rings again. This time Carlos is the one to answer it)

Carlos: hi yes dad. Ok brace yourself. Chad has the wand. He’s possessed by Maleficent. He wants us all dead. Barricade yourself in your office. Emergency protocols. All that shizz. You have magic so you should be fine. We’re gonna stop them. It’s what we do. Us too (he ends the call) that’s dad sorted. Now how do we fix mom?

Celia: go to the island. Get the ember. Come back here. Kick him in the balls until he’s exorcised

Mal: Gil. You coming with us?

Gil: I would but. My boys

Doug: I’ll stay with them. I have my exosuit. I’ll keep them safe. I promise you I will

Gil: ok

Evie: oh my god!

Doug: our kid is fine. She’s with Lonnie and Jane. You know. A badass and a light fairy.

Evie: oh thank god

Jay: so we all know what we’re doing. Action time?

All the others: action time

Squirmy: AAAAAH

Gil (panicky): what? What is it? What’s wrong

Squirmy: I want to give the pretty lady my present

(He holds up a bouquet of periwinkle blue tulips. Everyone relaxes)

Gil: Jane will love them. But it could be a good idea to keep them here. Just until we’re all back together. Yeah?

Squirmy (unhappily): yeah

Doug: c’mon boys. You can help me bake a new cake.

The twins: YAAAAAAAAY

(They run back in. Evie goes up and embraces Doug)

Evie: we’ll be back soon as possible

Doug: take however long you need. I stabbed someon in the junk last year. I can defend myself

Evie: oh I know that. It’s just that

Doug: Evie sweetie. Look at me. I’ll be fine. I promise. And if I need to reach you there’s our phones the the psychic link you set up.

Evie (voice breaking): I...

Doug (understandingly): me too. Now let’s go

(They all run back into the house except for one)

Mal: uh. Guys

Jay: oh. Right

(He runs back and carries her to the house)

Mal: watch the hip. Watch the hip

Jay: yeah yeah yeah.

Celia: so do we get the the island. The limos?

Evie: no. They’re all the the school garages until next week.

Celia: then we’re screwed?

Mal: not entirely

Jaylos and Evie: THE BIKES

Celia: what?

Mal: how I left last year

(At the cliff site. The six of them are on their bikes. Celia’s hanging on to Gil)

Carlos: go on mom

Mal (voice still croaky): noble steed proud and fair/you shall take us anywhere

(They drive over the magic bridge to the island. Back in Auradon Chadeficent is making their way to Jane’s birthday party)

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): are you sure this shall work? (Chad’s voice) it had better. They all deserve it for hating me

[lights-camera-sharks]

Episode 3 of Good Omens

Ok I’m back and I’m hype for the third episode!

-Oh we back in the garden now what’s happening

-You know what I need more of in my general life? Aziraphale lore. I guess.

-But what did Crowley do in between the Beginning and Mesopotamia?? All we know is he’s covered in dirt now.

-I love Crowley being very adamant about not killing kids and also his reaction to Noah’s arc is my exact reaction to all of religion

-Hi Jesus

-It’s quite early but I have yet to understand any great developmental purpose behind this backstory besides explaining Crowley’s name change. I guess it may help for setting up the rules of their Agreement. It’s hard for me to remember what the show has told me and what I know already, you know? I’m glad it can stand alone as it’s own thing though.

-What are those, the world’s earliest sunglasses?

-To be honest though they’ve always just been a less intense version of Tom and Jerry since the beginning of time so I don’t know if there’s any real development there

-oh no Crowley’s BEARD he looks like he’s about to spend 15 hours coding in the pitch darkness

-Whatever the Shakespeare scene is very funny

-very correct horses are a major design flaw

-I’m Aziraphale sitting patiently in a jail cell during the French Revolution

-also speaking very politely to the guy threatening to chop off his head

-Ngl Crowley’s revolution hair is kind of good in a horrible, horrible way

-THERE’S THE SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS LINE!! It’s kinda snuck in there but I’m so so glad it’s still here

-hey Aziraphale? Hmmm? Now who’s fraternizing HMMMMM??

-“My DOUBLE-DEALING Nazi aQUAINTance”

-“Oooh ooh ah it’s like being on the beach with bare feet!” Did you mean how I enter every room

-So true-to-form for AJ Crowley to blow up a church whilst dressed like a gangster but in sort of a lame way I love it

-(note to self remember to change the laundry at the end of this episode)

-Ok now Crowley is literally dressed like John Lennon and while I do not agree with this I do appreciate it

-...Don’t know how I feel about young shadwell? Definitely gave me mental whiplash though

-Young Shadwell is so well spoken though I guess I always assumed he was born a jabbering old man. This has yet to convince me otherwise.

-Gotta say it does make more sense than just casually throwing in how they all know each other

-Handing over holy water in a tartan thermos. Also very on brand. I’m glad Aziraphale and Crowley still feel like the same characters to me and I love being able to see them brought to life in another form

-We are halfway through the episode I guess it’s time for the title sequence

-it is a very good title sequence

-love the colors

-Yes I’m just typing to fill the time because I’m kind of confused as to why this wasn’t earlier

-Nice music too

-OH THAT IS THE SINGLE BEST WAY TO DO A PREVIOUSLY ON RECAP. Just fast forwarding through everything that happened is really all I needed and it doesn’t take away from the story at all. I am very excited about this

-good dog and cat actors. 10/10 would hire

-I guess they don’t explain Shadwell and Crowley’s relationship? They just meet once and you don’t tell me how he became boss of the witchfinders signing everyone’s paychecks?

-Witchfinder Sgt Pepper is my favorite character I especially loved when he told the band to play

-RP TYLER! I suppose I should never be that excited about RP Tyler. I just get excited every time I recognize something in this. Which is pretty darn often

-(okay I’m going to go change my laundry)

-You know when you’re just a Person of Interest

-“Pip pip” *shadwell sighs and shakes his head*

-I’ve seen Famine for less than thirty seconds but I love his casting

-“There’s people in Tibet watching everything we do through hidden tunnels.” That sure got mr young’s attention now he’s on edge thinking of all those Tibetans

-Awww they’re friends

-I’ll tell y’all why this isn’t queerbaiting and you can get mad at me if you want. This entire plot is enemies-to-friends. They are both extremely dramatic about their friendship which leads to storming off in a huff and sobbing because for someone’s sake they hate each other but they love each other okay? Interpret their relationship how you want but they care about one another and it’s an inconvenience.

Alright the flashback was a fun time and set up their interactions in this episode well so I’m fine with it. It probably could have been left out and the plot wouldn’t suffer, but I’m glad it’s here. I hope the phone chase scenes stay in one of these next few episodes because that is one of my favorite scenes. Perhaps with less maggots this time. Or more. Either way I’m excited. I’m also glad that I’m pacing these episodes out and not trying to watch them all at once because I may do that for a lot of media but this does not benefit to being “binged” as the kids say.

[knifeshoeoreofight]

How about a late night stream-of-consciousness chatfic from last night?

me: reg text

@icosahedonist: bold

There’s a particular path Sid likes to take in the mornings to jog with his dog. It’s quiet and barely used.  And it’s pretty. He likes to go as often as he can, to clear his head. Even in winter. 

... I think Sid is a..............how about a kid's hockey coach? It's not well paid, and there are rumors his program might be cut, and he'd be out of a job. He's stressed out about it.

Geno is a KHL star who retired early. He's got a lot of money but no idea how to have an actual life outside of playing hockey.

He's ended up in wherever-the-fuck Canada because..............

uuhhhhhh

maybe there's some kind of rich people ski resort.

But he's brooding so he ends up walking this trail that ends up winding through a local park.

He need to walk as part of his knee rehab maybe.

He notices the dog first. It's this squat little pitbull mix, goofy looking and cute, and always looking thrilled with life.

One time it lunges for him, tail whipping wildly and tongue lolling, trying to make friends. "Come on, Peanut," the owner chides. "Leave him alone." Geno has to laugh to himself. Peanut. What a name. (If only he knew that the dog's full name was Peanut Butter, and that he'd been named by one of Flower's daughters).

(because he's a brown dog and Uncle Sid likes PB & J, of course!)

And one day he hears the same guy calling and calling his dog, but this time it's loud and anxious, interspersed with piercing whistles and beseeching "Here, boy!"s

oh no

He jogs a little, turns a corner and there's the guy, hands cupped to his mouth, calling.

"Lose dog?" Geno offers. the guy turns to him, frantic. "Yeah, there was a squirrel, and we've been working on this in obedience class?? But he bolted, and I--" the man's breath hitches. Geno is quick to offer to head the other direction down the trail and help look.

He's a ways down the trail when he practically runs into Peanut, who is jogging down the trail looking bewildered because his dad? was just right there? but now he's not??? !!!!!!!!

Geno calls his name and Peanut happily lollops up to him, grinning and excited.

(a friend!)

He grabs him by the collar and quickly walks him down the trail towards Sid. It's hell on his back, Peanut is kind of low to the ground, and he eventually decides to just pick him up, sturdy as he is. Peanut just puts his paws up on Geno's shoulder and peers happily around from his new vantage point, tail bap-bapping violently against Geno's middle.

"Fuck, Peanut, you stupid dog!" Sid cries as Peanut practically mauls Geno as he flails to get back down on the ground and oh boy! Kiss his dad all over! His dad! That's his FAVORITE person!!!!!!!! Geno has to laugh. Sid's scolding is obviously totally out of fearful relief. His (pretty, hazel, luminous, oh no) eyes are red-rimmed and too bright as he clips a leash on his dog and thanks Geno profusely.

Geno really takes a moment to look at Sid for the first time. oh. no. He's....he's got black hair curling out from under a lumpy knitted toque (it was a gift "for Coach," from one of his peewee girls, in their team colors)

knitted with love, no doubt

so much. Coach Crosby is adored.

Anyway this guy has pretty eyes and a prettier mouth and a cute hat and a cute dog and Geno can just feel the flock of butterflies take up residence in his stomach.

he walks back with Sid to his car, even though the park's parking lot is in the complete opposite direction of the resort. His knee is beginning to ache a bit and he knows the slog back will be murder, but. Sid.

He's asking Sid about himself, trying to remember how to be charming, how he chatted up beautiful people all the time in clubs and bars before he got hurt. Before he left Russia and the KHL behind.

Meanwhile Sid is about 70% sheer relief that Peanut has been corralled and about 30% oh wow TALL, and oh wow ACCENT.

he noticed Geno wince when he stumbles over a ridge of compacted snow at the edge of the parking lot and it triggers his Coach Senses. Is Geno hurt, what hurts, how long has it been hurting etc etc

Geno is shamefacedly forced to admit that he's rehabbing his knee and he maaaaybe overdid it. this will obviously Not Do as far as Sid is concerned and before he quite knows what happened, Geno is sitting in Sid's beat-up truck, Peanut ensconced between them (thrilled that there's TWO people, his favorite things, in the car, his favorite place, oh boy)

Sid apologizes if the trucks a little funky, he hauls around a lot of hockey gear as well as a wet dog. Oh no, Geno thinks. Hockey. He had really wanted to stay away from hockey.

(why did you go to fucking Canada then, Geno?)

(HMMMM)

oh no, cute guy with cute dog who loves hockey... whatever will geno do???

And he finds out Sid is a hockey COACH, even. Sid gets talking about his kids on the way up, and even though Geno hadn't wanted to hear any hockey talk, the love of the game and his charges just kind of, radiates from Sid. Geno can tell this guy loves what he does. So damn much, He's.....probably amazing with kids.

(fuck)

the answer seems to be fall in love

A couple days later, Geno kind of Accidentally Ends up at the community rink. It's part nervous hope he'll see Sid again, it's partly that the yearning to put on skates and just, fly, never really left him.

He's been okayed for skating months ago. But he hasn't felt ready to face a rink again until now.

The rink is run down, but clearly busy and loved. There are little teeny kiddos with brightly colored figure skating bags in the foyer, putting neon fuzzy soakers on their blades after their lessons. God, their skates are so tiny.

There's a lot of happy yelling coming from the ice, and when he walks through the doors to the rink, after he's recovered from the emotional hit that is the sting of cooled air, the smell of the ice, the rubber flooring, he sees a hockey practice is happening on the ice.

He's not been around little hockey players in a while. He's forgotten how funny tiny kids look in gear. Especially the goalies like little robots in all their pads. And there is Sid on the ice, somehow making a set of trackies look good, gliding gracefully between his miniature players as they wobble through their drills.

Geno climbs into the stands to watch and wait for the public rec session after this. There are a smattering of parents watching.

A nice mom greets him. "Which one's yours?" she asks, and his heart does a funny thing in his chest.

*lies face down*

"Uh, none," he has to admit. "I come for public skate but I come too early." He waggles his beat up pair of rental hockey skates.

The nice mom continues to chat with him, telling him how WONderful Coach Crosby is with the kids, how they just ADORE him.

Geno makes faint noises of acknowledgment and tries not to let both his crush and his dormant love of hockey unfold any further.

she has an active ear, geno gonna get sid's entire life story and every scrap of gossip by the time the kiddos are done

Then, the mom sadly adds, "But, this is probably the last winter we'll have this, you know?"

And then Geno gets to hear that the rink is in disrepair and the town can't afford to repair it to code. It's going to be shut down at the end of the season, with no timeline for it to reopen.

uh oh

Sid's going to lose his job, he realizes. He looks at where he can see Sid as he carefully helps a kid back upright, pulling a kleenex out of his pocket to wipe their tears and snotty nose as he makes sure they're okay, just a little scared from the tumble they took.

He thinks about his untouched millions in the bank. How bleak he'd felt, with nothing to work towards and no need to strive for anything anymore.

Well. This he can do. This is easy.

"Who in charge?" he asks the mom. "Where can I find?"  She blinks but tells him the board of trustees is having a meeting next week.

What a helpful lady.

the helpfulest!

Geno already has his phone out, and is already busy canceling his flight home in two days. He's going to be here a while longer, he thinks.

And scene.

(you can imagine the rest: geno saves the rink, but like, secretly, and he gets to know sid better, and they fall in love, Geno skates again, and finds out how good it feels to get back on the ice. He meets Sid's beer league friends. They definitely at one point kiss in Sid's questionable old truck. Peanut anoints him Best Person Ever After Dad.)

(eventually somehow Sid finds out, there's a dramatic conversation, maybe with snow swirling around them, etc. It's a little angsty but things get resolved and theres a Big Damn Cinematic Kiss.)

hmmmmm but... what if sid knows who geno is, and it doesn't take too much figuring out to know who had the cash to save the rink, and he never says anything bc geno never says anything, and it doesn't seem like he did it just to get into sid's pants (altho that is a bonus for sure)

that too

he just waits for Geno to tell him when he's ready.

Couple years down the line, they're 1. Moved into the gorgeous lodge-style house Geno buys. 2. Engaged, with plans for a December wedding. 3. Looking into adoption.

when geno tells sid about his past, and all the money that geno just "mysteriously" has, it's anticlimatic. sid may be a hockey coach in nowhere, canada, but he's heard of evgeni malkin

He gently kisses Geno's forehead. "I know, babe. It wasn't hard to figure out. I knew you'd tell me when you were ready."

and anyway, he didn't fall in love with geno bc of his money. when geno asks what it was, then, sid smiles beautifically and says, "your ass."

AHAHA yess

(but it was actually his heart, of course)

(bc he's too fond of chirping to let an opportunity go by!)

Geno: "Hm, smart, is best ass."

"Need to lock up." "Lock down?" "Yes, that."