#holy fuck i am so autistic

[finalfantasycdxx]

downloading offerup and getting into final fantasy has been disastrous for my wallet. theres so many good deals and i am powerless to not want every mainline ff game in some form or another. im about to pick up x and xii for ps2 (i would hold out for zodiac age on switch bc thats the version i actually want to play but it was a package deal and a good deal at that) both complete with manual for 15$ AND its in a direction that id be going anyway so im not wasting gas. shout out to final fantasy for somehow not being all that expensive yet- the ps1 games are pretty cheap for how much clout they have (~40$ for a nice complete copy of 7,8,9 plus these are the versions to play from what i can tell, excited about 9 specifically!!, ~20$ for anthology and origins individually). the real money is in the gba because thats a really over inflated market and honestly like. as someone who is a big gba fan grew up with it have done some light collecting myself. its not a good system to collect for. the most comfortable ways to play are gated behind pricey screen mods, everything that isnt a thq movie game is getting pretty expensive but the killer for me is that theres not really any good way to display your collection, which to me is a huge part of collecting. gba games were designed to be thrown in a little zipper pouch in your gay little gba satchel and played, which is great and a huge part of why that console has so much nostalgia for me personally. (i love my gba case) but like. theres not a great way to put them on your shelves without either using a bunch of ds boxes (which do look nice, but i personally really like how every console has their own box style, they look visually distinct on a shelf) or making/buying a bunch of reproduction boxes or paying an insane premium to buy them complete with box. i think i personally will eventually try and make a bunch of cassette cases because that looks super cute and cassette cases are fun. idk. mixed bag. im glad you can still get gb and gbc games on the cheap though and sometimes you get lucky on gba but god what a nightmare to collect. so anyway for my physical collection im going for basically as many playstation 1/2/3/4 (and 5 i guess eventually bc ff16 is exclusive :/) releases as possible, trying to get as many of those on the ps1 simply bc its a cool console and the cases are fucking great and they actually come with manuals. snes/nes versions of the na ff games would be cool but tbqh i dont have those systems i dont have nostalgia for them and they’re expensive soooOooo. basically i am fucking balling and need more shelf space i guess im gonna go draw vivi doing something wacky and uncharacteristic. looking forward to playing ffx so i can play ffx-2

[marionmorse]

MARIONMORSE, DROP ANOTHER HELMETPARTY SCENARIO AND MY LIFE IS YOUUURSS 🙏🙏🙏🙏

do u think... Do you think sometimes when the team has a movie night, when they watch those 60's action war movies like "Von Ryan's Express" and "Battle of the Bulge" or spaghetti westerns like "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" and "Death Rides on a Horse," Soldier pauses during or right after fight scenes or duels or whatever to obsessively overanalyze them. Like, he'll try and turn them into strategies to use on the job, takes, uhm, 'notes', (tactical doodles,) sets up nerdy models using a whiteboard map and improvised figurines, uses these examples when he does those psyche-up pre-battle speeches or during strategy meetings.

'Cause I bet he does, I bet he does that, and it completely kills the momentum of the movie to the point where the rest of the team gets disinterested and slowly leaves him behind to do their own thing.

I genuinely bet Engie wouldn't though, nah, I bet he's enough of a patient kind of gentle kind of man willing to stick through these pauses 'cause he's just that into the movie. And maybe he's just a teeny bit into Soldier's dissections of actiony chaos. Maybe gleans a bit of an understanding of Soldier's thinking that way. Admires the guy's passion about his 'research,' how thoughtfully he gathers details in an effort to help the team. Starts mixing in tapes for these sorts of movies more regularly to their movie night pool maybe subconsciously, maybe on purpose. The rest of the team doing their own movie night. losers.

[fanthirtheen]

Spoilers for Full Moon

Before I even approach anyone else's reactions ( I haven't looked at Tumblr since the episode aired) I'm going to just fucking scream. I'm nervous to say any spoiler shit despite tagging this with spoilers (what if I don't tag well enough?) Just, I'm walking outside, I'm screaming. I watched the ending, from the about 20:20 to the end, three times. Stolas, I am going to chew on you. Blitz, I am going to bury you from the shoulders down until you have time to process this shit, record everything you say, and then make you listen to it three times, the same amount of times I just watched you make Stolas cry.

But also

Blitz cried first.

And Stolas wasn't watching.

And it doesn't even matter.

I'm going to go outside and scream until June.

[teethands]

on my hands and knees begging anyone who enjoys speculative lifeforms, speculative but maybe possible physics, deciphering the most insane scientific jargon like hieroglyphs, and biblical endtime prophecies via radio transmission sung in one of the oldest languages on earth to please watch godzilla singular point if you have not yet

[going-to-superhell]

I was today years old when I found out that people don’t feel their veins or blood flow or their heart beat. What the fuck. Like I know everyone CAN feel their heartbeat but I thought it was a constant thing. Like your telling me people don’t constantly feel their heartbeat, blood flow or pumping????????

[realmermaid333]

Sometimes being autistic kinda sucks because I am ahead of my peers in the ways they are behind, and I am behind my peers in the ways they are ahead.

Most people my age are pro-drivers with job experience, dating experience, are already in college, and have larger friend groups. I am behind on these things.

But I have always been very mature and logical for my age. While also being "socially off putting" (i put it in quotes because really it's just that lots of neurotypical ppl are judgmental and kinda boring I'm sorry. I'm only talking about the mean ones). I struggle to make friends my age because we tend to not line up when it comes to emotional maturity. But I do get along with people near their mid 20s-ish. But because unemployed for time being, I am not where the mid-20s homies are

So add all of that together and you get;

Has one irl friend 💔

[shopcat]

there is, Obviously, fundamentally a difference between headcanon and an analytical reading of text, and treating the two as exactly the same is not only wrong but devalues both, but funnily, i've found people tend to forget that both of these things are the product of referencing our real life experiences and applying them where we see fit to make a more interesting way to interact with media. and you can't just like, forget that it's not JUST about headcanons and meta analysis and whatever, because people in real life also still matter. and in real life, there are different stakes and EXPERIENCES, and those experiences lead to thinking the way we do because that's how you Be a goddamn person, which is why it's ironic is all 😭

like, saying zuko atla has to be cis in order to be "properly" gay in order to be Truly Compelling narratively is fucking ridiculous. textually, zuko is not actually gay. he never was intended to be, he never will be intended to be, he was never even subtextually. the assumption otherwise is already rooted in fantasy, and the tongue in cheek assertion that it isn't, which means it has more credence, is ... dumb? childish? admitting to at least yourself that the things you talk about wrt character analysis aren't the intention of the creator is literally half the point of doing said analysis – you're MEANT to throw away the intended interpretation in order to give it a new life through different keyholes without entirely divorcing itself from the text. (in the same breath, insisting the creator truly meant One Thing when they absolutely would not have/don't care at all, and ignoring that the people who made the piece are going to put their own biases and experiences and background into the media itself and actually MUST be taken into account for things like this is just ... well. Stop That.)

i've personally never been someone to ever claim that The Writers All Along INTENDED to do something that they obviously didn't, like make a character from a 2005 cartoon lgbt+. this doesn't mean that reading doesn't have any substance or cannot possibly hold any meaning, or that it's wrong. if you can't be objective about your own readings what's the damn point... leaning into it being fiction, which changes just by being observed by a different person, is why it's fun or interesting to do in the first place. and yeah there are some basic cookie cutter headcanons people like to fling around, and there can be criticism for that otherwise, but claiming headcanons themselves AREN'T an offshoot of this way of thinking is fucking stupid. like it's plain wrong.

our own thoughts on why a character acts, what they do, what their presentation is, why their personality is what it is up to and including their sexuality, gender identity, religion, JOB, whatever, are made to fill the gaps the text can't or won't provide, and in the case of lgbt ones as long as it's not actively harmful (as in like insisting a lesbian character is bi or something) it is literally harmless seeing as it is fairly solidly a "won't", along with a whole bunch of other hc material that usually don't see the light of day on-screen nonstereotypically. people seeing themselves in characters isn't new but more than that, saying that you know this but then pushing it aside because The Analysis Means More when it's Realistic And Plausible is fucking dumb. and rude. bc the entire point of drawing the line of connections this way is how WE see them. being all like "oh well, your own personal identity is still valid otherwise, don't get your feelings hurt bc it doesn't matter," is moot if you've already asserted there's only One real way to be... plausible 🤨. which is to be NORMAL ! duh.

like, the read that zuko IS gay (and cis) relies on extracting parts through the lens of our own gay perceptions and is why cishet fans don't pick up on it, but you can ask pretty much any other lgbt fan and they'll agree. zuko's narrative arc IS compelling with the read that he is gay, from the way he is ostracised by his family, neglected and abused, the "punishment" he receives and then continues to become his own warden of, the order of his death and the banishment itself, sozin criminalising homosexuality, his inability to connect with others especially his own age, his inability to seamlessly interact with girls, his literal externalised viewing of seeing himself as someone with Two Sides, them being good vs evil, realising he can change the damn world through love and acceptance, striving for peace, being the face of change for his nation, relearning what it means to be who he is once he is free from his past, the shame and humiliation rituals, the claim of his father that he is worthless as a prince and person, AND MORE... and i cannot express enough here how fucking little it matters if he's specifically gay or WHAT THE HELL EVER 😭.

to claim in no small way that it's impossible for a trans person, or a bisexual person, or anyone else lgbt, could ever line up his narrative with their own personal one is so beyond ridiculous it gives me a headache. no, "plausibly", i don't think zuko is like, transmasc. yes, plausibly, he could be gay. plausibly, he could be amab nonbinary but no one seems to actually give a fuck about that for some reason (i wonder!). nothing would change in both cases, because he's not actually either, so i really don't see the point in making fun of or being frustrated by one to lift up the other because you want cisgender boot soles to brush the back of your throat THAT badly. the implausibility of thinking any way about a fictional character should be taken into account to an extent, sure, but at the end of the day neither of us are doing anything truly worthwhile, and no one is claiming that it's the intent from the beginning to say otherwise, so what's the point here. why are we doing this. let's go skip in a meadow together before i kill someone with this rock.

[charlies-trainhopping]

Stimnies lol

Its 5am and im kicking my legs and shaking my hands and feeling incredibly giddy and childish while im watching dannyphantom.exe

I think i have a problem

[aftermathing]

.

[cluescorner]

Started crying over the Batman Beyond Animated Movie concept art. I am so normal.

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

[r0ttente3th]

Howdy howdy!! Just wanted to say thank you for the likes and your reblog tags!! It’s so heckin’ nice to see your thoughts and compliments, it honestly made my day!! Got a big ol’ goofy grin while at work readin’ all your tags!! From one texan to another, I truly appreciate it pardner!! (ᵔᴥᵔ)

OH MY GODDD YOURE SO NICE!!!! 😭😭😭 honestly this in general made my day, i absolutely adore your art and you are so so so sweet, thank you so much for the ask!!! glad to see another texan out there that isnt causing all hell on the roads!!

[waywardsalt]

thinking abt linebeck’s coat. something very alluring about it for some reason. so im just gonna ramble about it here instead of in the tags for once

you can probably start a fight between the people who think it’s a coat and people who think it’s a jacket but i think it’s a coat moving on

the character designs are interesting to look at due to the proportions and art style so it is hard to imagine how long his coat would be but i think it would go down to a bit above ankles because i think that’s good. it’s a bit more dramatic a bit more impressive(?) that way and would probably lead to problems tbh

based on some of the official art i imagine that the stripe at the bottom might’ve been a late addition since it’s missing in the bit of official art most used to represent linebeck. tbh linebeck is inconsistent in very tiny ways in the official art but that’s mostly if you’re gonna be nit-picky or bored enough to notice

his coat is so good it’s simple but very recognizable and stands out among the other character designs in ph and its just. yknow good character design

its also surprisingly good for headcanons and stuff and because i mostly take a lot of canon as suggestion i have a good handful of headcanons tagged specifically onto his coat (one of which is the length of it ig)

i like to imagine that he made it himself. i’ve seen stuff where people write linebeck as being able to fix link’s tunic when it gets torn and i feel like the logical extreme of that is that he made his own coat. i think that adds a layer of. importance to it? it’s unique it’s solely linebeck’s it’s tied to him because he made it with his own hands and maybe it can represent something about him that way?

i like to imagine that in addition to the normal pockets one the outside he’s got a whole lot of little pockets on the inside of the coat, like so many pockets that he hides little trinkets or tools or things he steals in either to keep or to take back to his ship for whatever reason. some of the pockets have little flaps of whatever they’re called that can be secured in place with a small button to keep stuff in

he’s got like pencils and a compass and little notes and tiny figurines and cool rocks and feathers and all kinds of little things he thought was worth keeping around and due to that his coat is uncomfortable sometimes but if he knows for certain he’s going to be busy doing stuff he’ll empty out all of the pockets and only leave the important stuff so that it’s lighter and less uncomfortable. link finds his coat lying around at some point and is caught so badly off-guard by how surprisingly heavy it is with all of the bullshit he keeps in all of his pockets

i also imagine he values it a lot, maybe to the point of being really possessive and protective of it, not letting link touch it and if it gets torn or stained he shuts down and has to fix it before he can move on to anything else, and if he can’t fix it at the time it leave him kind of overwhelmed or upset until he can fix it. he has a lot stocked-up materials specifically for his coat to avoid a situation where he has to go for while with his coat damaged

backing away from headcanon territory, his coat is just a cool bit of character design and has just been lodged in my mind for a while. its cool and never brought up within the game (obviously) and i guess a last little closing thought is that in the cutscene where oshus teleports link above linebeck it kinda looks like his coat moves when he tries to catch link and i think that’s cool

[intertexts-moving]

favorite tumblr trend lately is like people posting satire or bait or jokes that are extremely obvious if u stare at them for like more than five seconds & then every single reply is taking them dead seriously.

[endearingsalt]

The field of psychology knows nothing. We are so fucking behind. It is fucking incredible how much there is a black void where research into autistic adult clients in a talk therapy setting should be.

If you want to get really mad, try looking up specifically autistic adults in marriage counseling. Fuck-all. There were 18 results total, of which about half had to do with couples who have an autistic child, and the other half weren't even about therapy. Like, I'm going to keep looking for a little bit, but this is fucking bleak. I focus my academic papers on autism whenever I can, and it's always hard to get everything I need, but I've always done it. This paper? I don't think there are enough academic, peer-reviewed papers in existence on this planet to meet my source requirements for a 10 page masters paper. Absurd. Shameful. I'm having to go at my topic from the side and add subtopics about how related therapies approach autism because there literally aren't enough otherwise.

This post was going to be a zingy one-liner but then I just kept getting more angry.

If anyone tries to take this rant and claim that I said therapy is useless, kindly fuck off. There are good clinicians out there; I intend to become one of them. I'm training with several others who will be too. I know this field can be better than the state of this research. We have to do better as a collective. The fight for equality is the same here as it is in everything else—urgent, vital, and slow.

[creaturecravings]

*cries autistically and sexily*