#honestly anon i have really weird taste in men; i like them two to three times my age lol but i genuinely think that’s the trauma speaking &

[inkykeiji]

I’m a few days late to this discussion but on the topic of Robert de Niro, daddy issues, dilfs, etc… you’re gonna judge me so hard, but yk the guy that sings the song like “my money don’t jiggle jiggle, it folds”—that song? I lowkey find the guy attractive and he’s like 60 what the hell-

oh my goshhhh hahaha no anon no judging here!!! i i had to look this guy up because i live under a rock and honestly he isn’t my type per se but i think he’s actually quite cute with the beard????? like the beard does things for him for sure!! and he’s definitely not ugly either way!!

[stitch1830]

🎩

I'm fine and dandy,

Mind i ask your opinion on what became of the Gaang in LOK? I know the Toph being a cop thing ruffles some feathers and some don't accept Aang was a bad father.

HAT ANON HI glad to hear you are fine and dandy on this exquisite day of the week. And OOF this is a loaded question, but I'll do my best! :)

So I feel like there are a couple ways to answer this question based on your shipping preferences, but for the sake of this I'll try and answer everything based on what is considered canon. So ATLA, comics, and LOK.

I'll also preface by saying that I get why there are some controversial takes in LOK... I think they were trying to make the characters have more depth and show that even our favorite characters have flaws, even when they're adults. I just think that in some situations it was OOC and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth when you see where the Gaang went from the start to the end of ATLA, and then to see glimpses of their adult life and only seeing the trashiest parts.

Aang: If he's with Katara, it's not surprising to me that he's not a great father. Like, he has very strong opinions about his culture and while Katara is just as passionate about her upbringing, there isn't a ton of evidence of Aang accommodating the children's upbringing to also integrate SWT traditions in their lifestyle. I don't think he was outwardly trying to be a bad dad or anything, but his desperation to pass down Air Nomad traditions to an airbender overshadowed his primary need to be a father to all three of his kids. It's also really hard to see him as still this happy, lovable nice guy who treats everyone with kindness and respect when we know that he practically ignored 2 of his kids... But basically, his 'bad takes' as a dad were left unchecked, and his actions were probably defended by his wife as opposed to having to face them.

Katara: This one hurt lol. Again, it's not surprising that when she's with Aang that she chooses to settle down and be a wife and mother and healer. Aang's the Avatar, he's busy, their two oldest children are really rambunctious and are craving attention, so it's gonna be Katara to give them the love and care they need. But based on what we see in ATLA, it's just sad that we don't get to see or hear about any changes she made in the world or fighting. She really does seem to be ushered off to the side, left to retire in SWT after Aang dies. It's also sad/crazy that her strength and ability to stand up to disrespectful or ignorant people goes away when she's an adult. And I feel like this is glaring in her relationship with Aang and then also when Korra is finishing up training in the SWT. The other masters are whining that Korra isn't ready and Katara says she is and then the men keep complaining and whining. Like, no way would ATLA Katara let that go without her giving her two cents. Yes, she does help Korra leave, but she definitely would've said something to those old hoots. It's also weird that her strong resolve doesn't show up when she's raising her children with Aang. Why didn't she confront him? And if she did, how come nothing changed? Maybe it was too late, but idk. Katara doesn't seem like the person to let things go after she stood up to the problem once. Essentially, I'm upset that Katara was this strong and powerful female protagonist in ATLA, but not really hear about her amazing strides in the world in LOK (because if she did change the world, they didn't mention it... sad).

Sokka: Hmmm, he's not really ever shown in the show except in one flashback (because he's dead tears), but from what it sounds like, he didn't have any children, didn't sound like he ever really settled down, nothing like that. I think it would be sad if Aunt Wu's fortune was true and he never really ended up happy because of things he did. Would that be considered OOC? I don't think so... He was the goofy guy and the brains of the operations, but he seems like the guy that is afraid of being happy or ruins things when he is happy. My only reasoning for this is when he lost Yue, it changed him on some level, and at first he tried to push away Suki when she was initiating a kiss. Pretty light and lame reasons, but it's something....

Suki: MY GIRL SUKI NOT MENTIONED THAT'S SO OOC. Lol. Like, why didn't she randomly pop up from time to time? Are the Kyoshi Warriors just not around? I don't like that she wasn't in LOK, not even in a small flashback or anything. She was friends with the Gaang and it seems odd that no one mentioned their dear friend that helped save the world with them even if she passed away or anything. And also I don't think a casual statement about her settling in the suburbs counts as canon lol.

Toph: Okay. I don't hate that she's a cop. It's not really in character, but I don't hate it. If all of her friends settled in Republic City, and they all had their own responsibilities to deal with and asked Toph to run the RCPD, I think she would say yes out of loyalty to her friends, maybe out of boredom. I'm surprised she was in the role as long as she was, though... She was starting to get bored of her metalbending academy after a year or two once things were running smoothly, so she seems like the kind of woman that would search for the next adventure. But if she had to be a cop, I think she'd much rather be the one enforcing the rules at the top as opposed to following the rules, but... yeah. In a canon universe I struggle to come up with a long-term career for her, so I made my peace with the cop thing. Many of my friends haven't though lol, which is okay! Another thing I didn't like was how she was portrayed as a bad mother. Not that she was a bad mother (as much as it would suck, I can kind of see her being a bad mom), but they way she was a bad mom didn't really fit her character. She was neglected as a kid, doesn't seem right that she in turn would neglect her kids by giving them too much freedom. Also! My least favorite thing was how she had a 20/30 year rift with her girls, and then it was suddenly resolved. Like... No we need some more context to the conflict, and we need to see work being put into the resolution if we're going to bring this up. If Lin held a grudge against her family for 30 years, a short "sorry I wasn't a great mom, hope you don't hate me" comment isn't going to make her forgive them lol. I do like how she was portrayed as a single mother to two girls. She doesn't really seem like the type to settle down, and it was a nice surprise to see her have daughters from different men. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and it would've been the perfect opportunity to show those differences and show that there's more than one way to have a positive upbringing (Like, let's see the cloudbabies and the Beifongs both happy even though they had two very different parental upbringings? Just... there was an opportunity is all). And yeah, she seems like the one that would never settle down or have a family, so it would've been interesting to see her handle motherhood and her job! So I'm okay with that bit.

Zuko: Okay Zuko seems chill in canon, but who's his wife? Where she at? He got a partner or anything? We may never know... But it's nice that he appeared to have a happy life with good kids and grandkids... And yet I'm confused as to why Korra preferred to go to Zuko instead of the Avatar's wife for advice on what Aang would have done when choosing between saving the Air Nomads and turning herself in to the Red Lotus?? Like, I know Katara was in the SWT, but they have phones now, you're telling me they couldn't have called Katara? Why wasn't Katara the first person they thought to ask about the situation? I know the logistics would've been difficult considering Katara is holed up in the SWT, but why did everyone say that Zuko knew Aang the best? Why didn't his wife know him the best? Thoughts to ponder.

Okay. I wrote a lot and there's probably more that I do and don't like about how the characters were portrayed... But I think what it all boils down to is that there was an opportunity to still get depth in these beloved characters without us being frustrated with situations that are OOC. Then again, that would make it less about the Krew and more about the Gaang... It just seems like a bit of a slap to the face when we see glaring problems with the Gaang's characterization, and yet, we get no explanation. It does allow for canon writers to play with the 70 years in between, but idk. I much prefer AU's where there's time and opportunity to explore the characters as their best selves I suppose. Honestly, with my disinterest and disliking of canon ships, I don't see the bad takes in LOK as OOC, but it makes me wonder how different things could have been if other ships were made canon (thank goodness they weren't, we're not pigeonholed into one type of story, but still).

Does this kind of answer your question? Lol, sorry if not. My thoughts are all over the place with this one! Thank you for the ask, though, Hatty. Hope you have a great day! :)

[thenamesseven]

Plot: While you're preparing yourself for your second year anniversary date with Hyunjin, memories of the night the two of you met come back to your mind.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Just a tiny bit of swearing!

Genre: Fluffy! Mafia au!

Hope you enjoy this anon!

As you sat down in front of your mirror, you watched your reflection making sure your makeup and hair were still as perfect as it was before. While putting on the pearls Hyunjin gave you as a present for your birthday, your eyes drifted to the picture of the both of you that you had glued to the mirror. It framed one of your dates with him, one of the first ones to be exact. The two of you went out for coffee when it had suddenly started snowing, Hyunjin wasn't a fan of taking cheesy pictures, specially if his men were around but that night he didn't complain and you convinced I.N. to take pictures of the two of you under the snow.

An unconscious smile made its way up to your lips when the memory replied in your mind also bringing up old moments from other dates. For you, the best one, was the first...Honestly, it wasn't even a date, it was the night the two of you met. No matter how much time passed, you wouldn't forget that night.

--------------------------------------------------

Two years before

You had come back to the city after studying abroad for a couple of years and even though the jetlag and the six hour flight you had to go through had drained all the energy from your body, your friends somehow convinced you to go out to a club that had opened recently, wanting to have a wild night together.

Tiredness made you grumpy and when you were in that mood you basically didn't feel like dressing to impress so while your friends showed up in tight dresses, high heels and extremely complex make up, you walked into the club wearing jeans, a nice blouse that was mostly covered by your newest hoodie and some nice shoes. You kept your make up simple though, using a bit to cover the dark bags under your eyes, some eyeliner and lipstick. It was a good thing for you though, because all the drunk guy’s attention was on the way the cloth of their dresses hugged your friend’s curves while you were only getting weird clothes, people could go and fuck themselves though...If you wanted to wear a hoodie in a club you were going to wear one.

“Let’s get some drinks!”

Fortunately, one of your friends wasn’t drunk enough to dive head first into the dance floor yet and she was the one who grabbed your hand and literally dragged you to the bar. There were lots of people, mostly groups of drunk people drinking shot after shot trying to see which one of them would pass out first, if you weren’t that tired you would be doing the same as them or even joining their group and making some new friends. Everything for free drinks, right?

“What can I get you ladies?”

The voice of, who you supposed was, the bartender dragged your eyes away from the drunk competition to his face. Now, you’ve always thought there were three types of people in this life:

Beautiful as fuck people

Beautiful with makeup people

Honey, don’t even try people

Bartender here belonged to group number one, he had delicate skin but sharp features and even when it was considerably dark inside the club you could see the glint of mischief in his eyes, the smirk his lips displayed set alarms in your mind and you instantly stopped yourself from imagining how good it would feel to just run your fingers through his chocolate hair, it looked so soft, so fluffy….His hands, god, he had those kind of hands that you would hold 24/7 with some of his veins being visible. His physique, or at least what you could see of it, was pretty good. Bartender seemed to work out enough to keep himself fit but not to get all into muscle monster form, he was your type, there was no way you could deny that but again, there was something about him that kept alarming you.

You, out of nowhere, were pushed forward against the bar and abandoned by your best friend, she knew you well enough to know bartender was eye candy for you and she hadn’t wanted to ruin the only chance you got to get yourself into a better mood tonight. She basically betrayed you right there and then “Actually! I am not that thirsty, go and get a little drunk before joining us in the dance floor”

“Yes mom” You groaned rolling your eyes, trying to ignore the way bartender’s smirk got even bigger when he saw the look of frustration and passive anger on your face. “What?”

“Since when mothers order their kids to get drunk? Am I too old to understand it or something? My mom always got too mad when I drank too much orange juice” Even though you were in a bad mood, his stupid comment stole a smile from your lips. You mentally scolded yourself, not wanting to be too weak and end up being another notch in his belt.

“Mhm? My babysitter is just out of control tonight” You replied rolling your eyes still smiling as you sat down on one of the stools “Give me something strong, will you? Vodka or something like that man”

“Ooof, that bad?”

“That bad…?” You didn’t finish your sentence, waiting for him to say his name. Since he really seemed to want to have a chat with you, you guessed talking back while your friends gave everything on the dance floor wasn’t that bad right?

“Hyunjin” He smiled brightly, looking into your eyes as he awaited for you to say your name in return

“(Y/N)”

“Well (Y/N), wait right here while I get your vodka shot, it’s on me don’t worry about it”

Needless to say, Hyunjin served you shot after shot, not surprised when you started feeling a little dizzy after your sixth one. Despite him working, Hyunjin joined you in your drinking adventure and after the two of you reached the tenth shot you ended up pressed against the wall of the bathrooms’ stall with his hands on your butt holding you up against the wall. You didn’t know if he could sneak out of work like this or if he would get fired as soon as the both of you got out of the bathroom, what you knew was that his lips tasted like Heaven and there was no way in this world you would stop kissing the hell out of him willingly.

Of course, you wouldn’t expect what was about to happen.

First it was the sound of somebody kicking the door of the stall what made you jump away from him but then, before you could realize what was going on, a stinging yet incredibly burning pain overwhelmed the zone of your neck. You heard Hyunjin hissing and when your eyes landed on him, you saw the blood on his skin.

“W-What was that?” You stuttered “Are you okay?”

“Fuck, you’re bleeding” Hyunjin groaned, quickly reaching up to cup your wound , he was speaking in a whisper although it was obvious that whoever was behind that door knew the both of you were in there “Can’t believe they had the fucking guts to shoot me”

"To shoot-?"

"Sh!" Hyunjin covered your mouth before you could say something "Stay quiet"

Your eyes widen at his words, was he an absolute idiot or was he being serious about this? With your heart pounding against your chest, you kicked open the door hitting whoever was hiding behind it on the face. The unknown male groaned in pain and fell on his knees as you ran out of the stall. Hyunjin, taking advantage of the situation stole the gun from the whining man's hands before he could shoot the both of you again.

"Motherfucker" He hit him with the back of the gun, leaving him unconscious on the floor. "Ah, somebody blew my cover, I swear to God these idiots…" Hyunjin pinched the bridge of his nose frustrated, letting out a deep breath.

"Who are you!?"

"Come here, you're still bleeding" He muttered calmly, ignoring the significant rise in your volume

"W-Who are you!?" You asked louder

"Somebody who is not deaf, at least, not for now" He smirked, placing the gun in the inside pocket of his jacket "I'm Hwang Hyunjin, I'm in a gang and I want a date with you"

That night, you obviously rejected him but after being followed by him for almost four days, you ended up giving Hyunjin a chance.

And that's exactly how two years later, you ended up living together, letting him spoil you with affection, love and random presents.

Shaking your head, still with a small smile on your face, you glanced down at your watch letting out a soft sigh. Hyunjin was late to your anniversary, you weren't surprised but a little disappointed. He better be preparing himself for a scolding when he gets home.

Suddenly, a pair of arms made its way around your body gently pulling you back until you were against his body. Recognizing his scent, you didn't even need to look up on the mirror to know it was your boyfriend.

"Hwang Hyunjin" He smirked when you said his full name, a clear sign of him being in deep trouble.

"Mhm?" He bent down, pressing his lips on your cheek before they started sliding down your neck, his eyes never leaving yours on the mirror "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...Let's go out already"

"Where are we going?" You asked smiling excitedly, Hyunjin had offered to prepare tonight's date by himself and you were quite excited to see what he had planned

"It's a surprise" He said smirking, turning you around in his arms so he could peck your lips "But it's pretty damn cheesy so I hope you like it"

"Cheesy? Who are you and what did you do with my boyfriend?"

Hyunjin smirked, resting his forehead against yours "I'm Hwang Hyunjin, I'm in a gang and I want a date with you"

[sugar-petals]

Potions and Reverie (m)

↳ In which you receive a fortunate letter that leads to sex with your submissive husband Jimin.

Word Count: 2.3k

Genre: hurt & comfort, angst, smut | domestic au | one shot

Warnings: spanking, mommy kink, thigh riding, impregnation kink, slapping, choking, neglect, sexual healing, avoidance, depression, infertility issues

A/N: Requested by anon. Reupload!

Red pines creak and bend outside. Last time you checked, the alley had been deserted with no car or person in sight. Jimin’s not home yet, you’re waiting. 

He promised to be back around eight or so, now it’s nine with little sunlight left. Just heavy, mourning clouds. Endless rain comes gushing down with thunder’s angry boom from the distance. It must be hell in the mountains. Seoul is so unkind these days. 

Unkind, and too humid. The current festival in Itaewon is as good as spoiled, the poor people. No text message gets a fast reply like it normally would, your phone just falls abnormally silent. There’s no point in trying again and again.

The storm keeps raging and whirring between the pines, leaving much debris and puddles on the street. You’re giving up on ordering pizza for tonight, the microwave will do. The fridge is entirely raided, so you take the small wooden steps down to the icy-cold cellar. A few convenience foods are still left in the freezer, but your tormented stomach feels like ramen is the better alternative. There are two packages left, you pick the spicier, stronger one. 

You’re glad to be fast with warming it up because electricity shuts down at roughly half past, leaving you with candles and “goodbye TV” on the couch. You’d be outside if you’d know where he actually is, even in that weather. The impatience is like venom, you wish you wouldn’t have it.

It’s quarter to ten when the key turns. You rush to the front porch to haul in Jimin as he opens, soaking wet and gloomier than ever. He apologizes in a grumpy tone, no eye contact. The heavily kinked umbrella just gets cast in a corner. Jimin later slouches down next to you on the couch with your oversized bathrobe on. 

Downtown he had gotten himself at least some fries and visited the drug store to fill up the fridge in a last effort. Most of the paperboard packages and vegetables got horribly wet and squashed in his backpack because the rain just didn’t want to come down vertically, and Jimin just stuffed them in without care. At least one time you see the value in thick plastic wrappings. You don’t even know if that crumbled mess is still useful in any way, but he thought about everything you’ve written on the grocery list in the kitchen.

Jimin hardly speaks while he’s trying to get his hair dry with a towel, rubbing and chafing it aggressively at the back of his neck. There’s no answer why he took so long and didn’t answer the phone, none. He’s been like that since the doctor proposed the diagnosis this summer. 

You have a hard time telling him that you received the important, long anticipated letter from the clinic today. But you didn’t open it yet. You told yourself that this was something you’d have to do together. It’s hard. His face turns more somber when you mention it but he won’t protest when you bring out the plain envelope. The dismal gleam of the candle barely suffices to read, it flickers too much. 

A darker wall of clouds outside has you pulling out your phone to shed at least a bit of light on the dreaded paper. It’s the result from October’s final check-up. All the numbers and paragraphs are just blurry. As you finished reading, passing over the letter you just say to read it twice. You didn’t get the majority of the words, or perhaps you’re too nervous. Maybe just in disbelief. The only thing you understood was that they charged a whooping lot. Jimin does have to read it twice. He puts it down, the first eye contact follows. 

“You’re okay?”

“I’m… okay?” You don’t know what he means. That you’re fine, or that the diagnosis states you’re fine. Jimin angles the letter to you and points at a bolded part. “It says the result turned out negative. They tested for “infertile, yes or no”, not for “fertile, yes or no”. Infertile — negative. And below,” he points toward the end, “it says we could try it.” You practically rip the letter from his hands. It makes sense now, it really does. There it is. 

We can encourage you to carefully commence again around designated week 2 and 3. The first investigations in August merely pointed towards a temporary and then more complicated medical terms follow, ending in an explanation how the error just didn’t hold true because of this and that, measures were just approximated, and so on. So it’s true. You are okay. You’d still punch each and every doctor with their fertility potions in the face for all of this. No cure was ever needed, neither was abstinence. Jimin looks hopeful and teary. 

He’s suffered the most the last months because you’ve really wanted to follow through. But he couldn’t help if his life depended on it. It left him immobile at the thought he couldn’t make you happy, and he really admitted to that in September when things got worse. 

Jimin isolated himself more, even if he did spend time with you. He tried to please you in bed in every way you could think of, he pursued all the duties he had around the house. The ideal husband. But at some point, you had just lost faith. Only the last bit of love held you together, a string that could rip any second. Like the pine branches bursting apart outside. 

Giving up was the only thing to do after the final blow despite you having feverishly tried it all. He still couldn’t get it up after everything they said at the screening, with the trauma of your reaction in mind. The way he’s facing you, it seems impossible to erase all denial again, and embrace what’s real. The hug is uneasy, the damned letter forgotten on the floor. “Is it week two” you ask, “it must be.” He sniffles. 

“Around start of three, I don’t know. Fuck it, honestly… They’ve been playing us with that since forever. It should work anytime mid-cycle. We’ll just try, I think it’s possible,” he clears his throat, leaning back from the hug. “It’s not meant to be otherwise. Whatever their instruments say.” You undo the belt of the robe. “So, now?” you test, making sure to sound pulled together even if the letter left you more aggravated than the turmoil in the streets. 

“If you still like me… I’m disappointing. I look weird now, too,” Jimin shifts in his seat, sort of spaced out again. The robe hardly closes at the front. “Fool, I want you,” you get on his lap, moving the towel from his hands to the table. 

“If a bit of water turns you ugly all of a sudden, my taste in men must be horrendous. I’m not blowing up your phone just because. I was worried! And I’m in love with you, that hasn’t changed.” The rain is unstoppable outside, drumming, threatening to hammer in your windows. “I love you, too,” he muses, though overshadowed by the roaring thunder somewhere above Incheon. Perfect day to make a baby. 

“They said we can do it, you should be confident,” you pinch at his tiny nose. He turns as red as the slushy tomatoes from his bag. Clumsy sweetheart, so cute. It makes you horny. “You too,” Jimin cocks up his head, provocative. “Hey, I’ll show you.” The doc can suck your ass, you’ll make this count. 

Jimin’s robe comes off completely. It’s difficult to be gentle even if you know that Jimin longs for a tough grip. There’s something about so many dull weeks that makes you ravage him. Maybe it’s not right to overwhelm him and yourself just now. But the yearning is too strong. He’s so hot with the damp hair. Yes, you want him bad. 

His dick grows sturdier under the fleeting rub of your hand, and wet with warm spit added. Very wet. As does your underwear turning slick with his fuck-me thigh between your legs. It’s. So. Damn. Big. 

You nibble at his chest and shoulders with the prospect of leaving faint marks and gyrate against his leg on repeat like a bolting mustang going berserk. Jimin abides the shake until all friction has spurred and lubricated you enough. It’s not taking long until your panties are gone, and Jimin’s hand slips right in their former place to get you off. 

While he keeps jerking his fingers, you sink down on his shaft and brutalize him with more bites at the neck, not thinking about tomorrow. He’ll have to deal with it. You’re not meek with the thrusts today, either. Soon he jitters at your hips with his hands, trying to mimic the movement. You’re ecstatic. It riles him up. The eternal rain pounds against the window glass like you do against his lap. It’s pitch black outside. “Slap me!” he cries the more you cram him in, “I deserve it. Please!”

Your hand comes down ringing, the echo numbed by the rain. Jimin is left wincing. He begs you drooling to beat him more, harder, the other cheek. Your left is not as strong, so the slap is messy and unpredictable in its impact. But you don’t miss the spot. He’s getting stiffer inside you making the plunge times easier. A third strike and his hips buck up from underneath. Mustang number two has entered to mate, it seems. 

He keeps pleading for more, but after a fourth time, you refuse. Jimin doesn’t need to get his jaw dislocated in a frenzy. Not in this position anyways. He’s digging him a bit too much, that’s when he gets carried away. Instead, both of your hands find a solid grip just below his larynx. His neck is already swollen and pulsating. “I’ll punish you my way,” you put a slight bit of strain on your thumbs, “ready for that?” The following nod is eager, eliciting a greedy look in his eyes. So this is what he likes about confidence. 

Jimin, forever obsessed with your hands. You make sure to press the right spot, loving how his cock throbs while he’s thrashing out with his feet. Oh, it’s been over half a year since Jimin had you choke him out. Missed it bad. He does remember to keep his palms flat against the sofa. No matter what. That’s the silent command that you challenge him to fulfill. His arms don’t move even one bit even if you give his throat a harder, but short squeeze before releasing. 

Jimin sucks his first breath in with his tongue out, veins popped minuscule in the eyes. His palms still stay in place. That’s a reflex control worthy of being a father. Your perfect man. 

There are not many more thrusts until he catches himself and starts squirming. “Won’t last longer,” he coughs, apologetic. For a first time after such a sexual drought, his stamina isn’t half bad though. Jimin’s actually amazing. You’ll let him know later. Urgent matters first. 

“Come on, roll over. It has to stay inside of me.” 

Jimin, out of breath, can hardly catch up so you have to position him yourself above you on your back. “I think I’m ready,” he quivers, thrusts abating between your legs spread apart. Indeed he is. You lower him balls deep with your hands on his supple ass, firmly in place. “It’s like my birthday. Lovin’ the gifts.” 

A brisk smack on the left cheek and he’s coming with a little whimper. Finally. It drops inside of you like a small stream of liquid silver, turning gold reaching the spot where you want it. “I’ll make you a baby daddy,” you lock his hips tight with your legs around him, “all mine, mine, mine.” 

There’s no mercy for him now, and no place to go. No hours outside to escape in the rain, sulking and lonely with his depressive thoughts. No friend’s home to spend the night avoidant instead of in the bedroom here, afraid to disappoint, or having to survive your wistful hours ad infinitum. That’s gone now. A bitter summer. There’s always hope for autumn. You’re stealing a kiss and every last thread of semen that he has for you. 

The pressure from your thighs hooks him in the spot with no inch of liberty. A bit more and he’d snap in half like a pair of chopsticks. The ceiling lamp flashes up, blinding and bright against the bedlam outline of his locks. Fucking electricity’s back. You can feel the last bits of sperm trickle down inside to breed you, but won’t let him go just yet. 

“I’m yours, mommy,” Jimin last exhales struggling. He falls down into your arms closing around him stalwart like a cage. It feels like the only pressure left on him. What you see on his face is no more heavy gloom and doom.  

The thunder continues haunting Seoul, but it doesn’t matter. This is your dream come true. You let him pull out when a tired strain replaces the strength in your legs, and he kneels. Everything that has spilled over he proceeds to sip and lap up obediently, it’s good for his skin. Unlike what’s pending flaccid between his thighs, Jimin’s tongue won’t get worn-out all too early, carrying you through a nascent high and bringing you down again. 

The curve of his lips swipes gently up and down your labia, picking up the chaos of his and your cum, dips it back in with his ruby tongue when you finished your orgasm. He’s lost the tension in his brow, his eyes are peaceful. A last charming nip at your clit and he retreats, replacing his mouth with the massage of two fingers. 

Before the overstimulation comes, you guide his wrists toward your breasts to go on there. You’ll drag him under the shower later, to draw out the relaxation deeply needed. Tomorrow you’ll try right again after going to the festival, to mingle with the dragon spectacle for good luck with your baby daddy. 

“That’s for sweet milk hm,” you fondle at his glowing cheeks, “we made it, Jiminie.” - “Sorry that it took so long since then. Are you happy?” - “I’m very happy. And our child will be so beautiful,” you brush a finger against his lashes. Albeit exhausted, he’s cheerful under the touch. “Then, I’m happy, too.” 

© 2017-2019 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or modify. 

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Since you've done all odd numbers.. even numbers?

OH DEAR GOD OKAY THAT’S GREAT!!! Thank you so so much for asking, amazing Anon!!!!! :’D Here we gone, it’s gonna be long again, so it’s below the cut!! Click read more to learn more randomness about me!!! X’D [questions from here]

2.have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Not exactly like me, no. That’s the good thing about art; nothing is the same! :D

4.would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

LMAO NO

6.how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

Not many. I tend to distrust men more with physical harm and I distrust women more with emotional harm. I have… trust issues. I trust my frens and some of my family members and that’s about it. oof. ^__^”

8.who would you like to see in concert?

If I’m gonna be risking sensory overlord… Coldplay!

10.would you ever want to swim with sharks?

HELL TO THE YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDD

12.what was the last thing that made you laugh?

My Dad just brushed Ria our German Shepherd and came in COVERED in fur X’D X’D

14.have any pets?

YES!! Three dogs (Ria the German Shepherd, Granger the whippet, and Maude the mutt/Pomeranian-ish), three chickens (Haymitch, Cinna, and Effie) and two ducks (Peeta and Katniss). Don’t worry, we named the poultry after Hunger Games characters to be ironic, since we have no plans to kill them and they’re spoiled AF. X’D

16.do you have piercings? How many?

I don’t! I wanted some, but… eh we’ll see. XD

18.what are you craving right now?

Intimacy. :’)

20.have you ever been cheated on?

No. And if I ever am it will absolutely destroy me. So yeah, if my future partner is reading this, please just… don’t. Break up with me first, at least.

22.do you believe in true love?

Meh. Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know. I hope it exists though!

24.do you like the snow?

I’ve never seen snow!! I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT AND JUST FACE-PLANT INTO IT!!!!!!! :’D XD

26.is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Kinda depends on the circumstances??? but it’s usually it is pretty cute! ^-^

28.go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Six million pounds of space dust settles on the earth every year.

ummmm…. thanks, I hate it? XD

30.what color do you really want to dye your hair?

BRIGHT FUCKIN YELLOW. PIKA PIKA MOTHERFUCKER!!! >:D X’D

32.talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I have this one bag that’s been with me since I was 8. It’s basically a glorified sack that creases every bit of clothing you put in it to hell and it has straps and rope ties and it’s navy blue and I love it!! :D X’D

34. what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

My own goddamn house. Had to bust a window and everything. X’D

36.what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Okay so my Mum exclusively buys black socks. Just…. black socks that you can’t even tell apart, but I can’t wait till I can buy the most RIDICULOUSLY CUTE HECKING SOCKS ON THE PLANET. I do like wearing socks, I do not sleep with socks on, but I think they’re great!! :D XD

38.do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

It’s p small and it has lots of art I can actually appreciate on the walls and it’s got a low ceiling and kind of a comforting, dark-but-still-sunny den kind of vibe. The booths are actually comfortable. A lot of wood and smokey colours. There’s a slate fireplace crackling somewhere. It smells strongly of coffee and vaguely of liquorice. There’s a spot at the back that’s mostly hidden from site, the perfect place to curl up and read a book while picking on a muffin that was reasonably cheap but the size of your whole hand. Closest place to heaven on earth.

40.what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Not being able to breathe. Pretty much, ya.

42.think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Sam aka myriadimagines. And this song, idk why, it just reminds me of her.

44.do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

ASDFGHJKL ACTUALLY THIS THING THAT SAM HERSELF WROTE IS MY FAVE. I read it like a 2 years ago now and it still stuck with me and it’s so beautifully poignant I want to SCREAM. hello yes why are my friends so talented are they even REAL??????????

46.what are some of your worst habits?

I forget to eat and generally forget to take care of myself, I deny myself things I like for absolutely no reason??? I procrastinate everything, I bite my fingernails super low and also the skin around them bc I’m fuckin constantly anxious and can’t sit still, I overthink everything, I stay up way too late… honestly I could keep going, you get the point. XD

48.tell us about your pets!

OKAY SO. Ria is absolutely OBSESSED with her ball, and I mean OBSESSED to the point where she has no idea what to do with herself if you take it away and gets all anxious and whines and paces till you give it back. She constantly sheds and she does this sUpER CuTe thing where she wraps her front paw around your leg while you’re trying to walk and trips you. :))) Granger is either made of metal or a deflated pool toy and there’s no in between. She eats literally anything, including ants nests bc you know they must taste GREAT. She’s super stubborn. She gets smile wrinkles if you rub her neck. Maudie was rescue we got as a really small puppy. We only knew her mum but her dad must have been a Pomeranian bc she looks almost exactly like one. She has this thing where she bites you when you surprise her but really she’s a sweetheart. She’s mostly blind and deaf and has no idea where she is most of the time, I don’t think. XD The chickens are all idiots, the ducks are scared of me but still eat out of my hand when I offer them grapes. Haymitch likes to jump up on my back, Effie likes falling asleep on my lap, and Cinna pecks me a lot and leaves bruises but she lets me stroke her at night when she’s dozing off. :’)

50.are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I think they can be funny… in small amounts. :/// Their laughs are pretty infectious, you gotta admit. XD

52.describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Wariness and weariness and beauty and a fierce want to be loved.

54.are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

YEEEEESSSSSSS. An Ouroboros (either sealed or pulling away idk), a blank line of my arm so I can write how many days I’ve been without a relapse bc I need to be held accountable for my actions, a black square with colours bursting out, I also really love blackout tattoos???? I want a bird on my middle finger. :)))) And maybe a smiley face near my collar bone. The quote “what a marvel life is.” I also want the word “promise” on me somewhere, idk where. Maybe a feather somewhere too??? AHHHH SO MANY MY DUDE!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD maybe even a Southern cross but I don’t want to be one of those wankers y’know XD

56.what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Star Wars, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Mulan, Into The Spiderverse. Basically just my favourites lmao. XD

58.if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Neither, eesh. Maybe the past….?? Maybe…? I guess it’d be pretty funny to grab “I’m a girl!!!” Matt and shake some sense into his thick skull. X’D

60.what are some things you do when you can’t sleep?

Oh boy. Throw a ball at the wall and catch it, try to write, have a panic attack bc I should be sleeping, read, play Pokemon, listen to music, pat my dogs, possibly cry… world’s my oyster. XD

62.who is the last person you told a secret to?

My Mum.

64.what’s your favorite food?

🍕 !!!!!!!! :DDDDDD

66.three songs you were recently obsessed with.

this one - this one - this one 

68. three favourite old songs

this - this - this

70.worst possible time to get horny:

lmao when both my parents are home and I have no time to deal with ittttt… occasions like that are the only times I’m sort of grateful I can’t get a boner and give myself away. XD 

72.do you believe in soulmates?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don’t believe any relationship is “perfect”, though. There’s always gonna be difficulties.

74.who was the last person you cried in front of?

Dad. Oof.

76.is it easier to forgive or forget?

Neither. :))))))) Forget… I guess?? But really. Neither. :)

78.do you have trust issues? 

*inhale*

Y E S

80.would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

Nopeity nope nope. XD

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, ANON!!!

[staysuki]

Anon here, I just wanted to ask you for your top ten books and if you have one, your favourite fic writers here on Tumblr. That's all~

-🍕

i'm new in tumblr so i don't really have any fave fic writers as of yet :(( but i do have one favorite fic which is the study of relationships by huenjin. i saw it while searching for hyunjin fics on google (like a weirdo) and ended up seeing that, it's what made me get a tumblr account in the first place!

as for books, i love books! (and i love recommeding them) 👀 tho i'm only one for Y.A. so keep that in mind that i may not have the best taste but in no particular order:

The School for Good and Evil

something that i've read since i was a child, it's honestly so great the way it subverts from your expectations, i haven't finished the series but i'm planning to reread it again just so i could!

Percy Jackson (+ Heroes of Olympus)

i never grew up with harry potter— i grew up with percy jackson instead and i'm not complaining! the percy jackson series (and subsequently, the heroes of olympus series) is probably going to stay number one in my heart forever. though i probably like the heroes of olympus series better, just because there's more characters to love and it isn't solely focused entirely on percy (don't get me wrong, i love him tho).

A Curse So Dark and Lonely

a beauty and the beast retelling, i'm a sucker for those fairy tale ones. personally, i hated everything that came afterwards (this is a trilogy) so i'd recommend to just read this book as a standalone instead but if you want to read all three, proceed with caution.

The Shadows Between Us

short, sweet, formulaic, it's safe. what puts this in one of my "books that stood out to me" list is the protagonist, i really really like empowered female leads in Y.A.-novels. it shows how you can be strong AND have a man.

Tweet Cute

typical teenage enemies to lovers romance. idk why this stood out to me but ig i liked the secrecy and the back-n-forth.

WarCross (+ WildCard)

100% must read!!!! this is probably my wildcard (wink wink, that's the name of it's second book) because going into this book, i had zero expectations. it was a different kind of fantasy (almost sci-fi) which isn't really my particular taste, but i love video games so why not? it's the greatest. it made me want to check out the other works of this author. i highly recommend reading these two books, it's super satisfying and heartwrenching and I WANT MORE.

The UnHoneymooners

another typical enemies to lovers trope but this time with adults! i think the unhoneymooners (and other christina lauren works) is where i get my narrative path from— just plain ol' contemporary.

One of Us is Lying

Y.A. mystery, also something out of my comfort zone but again, a must-read recommendation! (second book is called One of Us is Next and i also recommend the author's other book: Two Can Keep a Secret).

The Kiss Quotient

this is probably a bit more of a personal niche but it spoke out to me because it has the aspects that hit very close to home and the topics are something that i hold dearly in my heart. (it's also a trilogy, though centering around different characters each time).

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

i'm a big fan of x-men and this is kind of like some weird twisted version of it if you remove it from the mcu. hated the movie (because ofc) but the books are a-plus and a must-read. the tone, the setting, the grittiness, i love it!

[janiedean]

Dude you need to stop. OP hadn't even been aggressive, they just made a random statement on their own blog. It's a personal space. Why do you all have to feel personally offended when 1) it was ONE POST on someone's personal blog, and 2) you're the first whining about how everyone is always offended at nothing! How insensitive. Maybe they were being dramatic, but then what? Show a little compassion, if it bothers you so much just fucking ignore it and move on, jesus. Are you 12?

Also seriously, you're constantly whining about how fed up you are about wank and "Discourse™" in your fandoms, but then you're also continuously participating in said wank by upping it up and up. Ever heard it takes two to tango? Kettle, meet pot?

my dearest darling anon, wow, you really got irked over a post that has..... 50k notes and it’s not such a personal thing anymore at that point. I mean. 50k notes. it’s not just PERSONAL. but however, let’s go over this.

a) it’s my blog. I reblog what I want. If anything, assholes on tumblr who keep disguising their fairly immature rants as *venting* should stop, not me. also, that post has 50k notes and out of the reblogs on the version I reblogged, I didn’t even say the worst thing. did you send this message also to the previous three people in my reblog? :’)

b) one post? that reblog was already two, and if you go on that person’s blog there’s another three reblogs of that same OP with additions which are all OMG STRAIGHT PEOPLE SUCK SO MUCH. lol. venting. with fifty thousand notes. it’s not venting anymore when a post is that viral and they posted it on a public website most likely fully knowing that it would go viral since tumblr dot com is basically ‘straight is an insult but it’s okay to say it because who cares straight people can just take it *SHRUG*’. 

c) HOW INSENSITIVE! MAYBE THEY WERE BEING DRAMATIC! SHOW A LITTLE COMPASSION! okay, you know what?

I’m now going to take OP and reword it with my favorite subject when it comes to show you how this line of thinking is hypocritical af. and at least it’s something I am and I can relate to so y’all can’t accuse me of appropriating someone’s struggles.

good? good!

now let’s imagine this was the op:

Being in a room with religious people talking about religious things is so exhausting.

at that, someone asks me:

What the hell are ‘religious things’?

and I reply:

sunday school and reciting prayers and going to mass and confession talk and discussing about how saudi arabia is actually a very pro-feminist country (spoilers: I heard that irl myself) without being made to feel like you are making people uncomfortable and hearing catholic people talk about how horrible it is for them to talk to atheists and christians in western countries talk about how they are such victims and their lives are shit when what this really means is they are never told that they don’t have morals because of course they believe in a deity and so they are and homophobic and racist crap that drives me crazy like how the only true family is man and woman  and how great religion (ps: this was in the OP so thanks for assuming that all straight assholes in the world are also religious but okay) is and how the world is so lovely and kind and great because people have god watching out for them and he will always be with them and how religious people are like “this person is so lovely” when you know they think you’ll go to hell for being anything other than their religion or listening to religious people say atheists are the worst or talk about people who don’t want to attend religious ceremonies (ie. people who don’t want to go to masses held for dead people) as being weird or rude because WHY WOULDN’T YOU GO, or asking “but have you ever read the bible?” judgmentally as if the moment you read that you suddenly hear jesus speaking to you or getting annoyed at you when you tell them about how not nice it is to be asked all the damned time if you’re gonna kill someone one day just because you’re atheist is because it’s easy for them cause they are religious and wouldn’t know the first thing about it or having to tell people you ‘really don’t practice’ to people all the time cause they just assume you’re catholic and you’ll be getting weird looks if you don’t like, and ‘wait but really??? HOW???’ or “but you look so nice it’d be a pity if you went to hell just because you refuse to believe in god” or “well as long as you keep it for yourself but DON’T TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHER!!!” or having to hear religious people talk about how great christmas is or about the amazing shit they read in church or about how all holy books are ABSOLUTELY NOT WRITTEN BY MEN AND THEREFORE NOT FALLIBLE and about all the amazing movies about jesus or just watching people live super conventional lives and do really sexist old fashioned things just because no one is brave enough to question or think about anything… and worst of all knowing that if you were to say or talk about anything atheist everyone would get uncomfortable and not join in on the conversation and wish you had said nothing… and then people will be like “you hardly said anything”, “you’re so quiet”, “you don’t talk much”, “are you shy”, “you’re boring”.

No bitch I’m atheist and I don’t relate to nor am I really interested in any of the shit that you have been yelling to my face for the last hour.

now, I’ll tell you what would happen: ANY DECENT RELIGIOUS PERSON I FOLLOW WOULD ASK ME WHAT THE FUCK I WAS SMOKING AND IF I REALLY THINK ALL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT AND ALL RELIGIONS ARE LIKE THAT, AND EVERYONE WOULD ASSUME I WAS A PROPER FUCKING ASSHOLE BECAUSE I JUST GENERALIZED 70% OF THE PLANET IN A LONGWINDED RIDICULOUSLY EMBARRASSING RANT WHERE ON SOME THINGS I MIGHT BE RIGHT AND ON OTHERS I JUST SHOWED A HORRID AMOUNT OF IGNORANCE.

also, since atheists are all assholes, I’d just confirm their ideas that all atheists are assholes who think they’re so much better than anyone else.

does that post look so harmless, put like this? would it look harmless, if the category mocked was anything but straight people? let me tell you: it wouldn’t. not on here, anyway. and now we get to the best part of this frankly ridiculous ask that you of course sent on anon because like hell you’d say that to my face, hm?

Show a little compassion, if it bothers you so much just fucking ignore it and move on, jesus. Are you 12?

no, I’m 29. and OP of that post, who definitely fucking sounds like he’s twelve, because I could have written the above post about how religion sucks when I was in my dawkins phase and I was THIRTEEN and like two years later I already learned to be a little less dramatic, is twenty-seven. out of someone who’s almost thirty, I’d expect some maturity.

but never mind that. the point is: actually, I did it. I ignored a fucking shitload of posts like this since the year of the lord 2013 when they started becoming a thing on tumblr. I ignored posts saying that ‘the only good use straight allies have is getting thrown off a cliff’, I ignored posts about how horrid cishets are, I ignored posts about cishets ‘are like omg they want a cookie for being nice to us that should be the basics’ as if in some places just being pro-lgbt can’t get you fired or put you against your family or get yourself in a hospital, but of course hey, we’re straight, we’re the majority, we inherently oppress anyone who’s not, who cares, amrite? I had to watch this website spiral into a mentality where straight is an insult, basically, and so hey we have a post laughing about straight girls’s tastes, straight girls being into ***ugly boys***, straight girls being brainwashed by the patriarchy because they actually like men when they could be lesbians and be so much better off in tumblr’s amazing pastel unicorns and rainbows lesbian aesthetic where no one feels sexual attraction and everything is platonic and we don’t talk about bills because how fucking boring. I ignored all of that shit for years because y’all were VENTING and you could only do it online so hey what’s the harm in it, and guess what, I’m done. It bothers me so much because it normalizes a mentality where it’s okay to insult people for things they can’t change about themselves rather than aim at, like, HOMOPHOBES. WHO ARE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM. but nah, hey, I just have to scroll by the umpteenth post insulting straight people because they talk about things also lgbt people talk about APPARENTLY, because is2g I can assure you that in my fandom group of friends where *I* am camp straight 90% of the time and everyone else is not we actually fucking talk about mortgages and bills and how much renovating a house sucks and how it costs and how it doesn’t and about taxes and about how poor we’re going to be when we retire.

but apparently to OP all this kinda shit is just STRAIGHT TALKING. yeah, lol. anyway, this is kindergarten level attitude and people should have been told to can it years ago, and honestly given that ‘scroll by and ignore’ is an attitude I had for years to avoid conflict and it only caused me trouble, excuse me if I’m done helping feeding a mentality that’s completely fucking useless, because this line of thinking just alienates people. also wow now that I read this post I should feel bad for talking to my non-hetero friends about pretty much anything according to OP? some straight kid younger than me and more impressionable who might actually buy into this website’s bullshit reads this and what will they think? that every time they discuss anything with a gay friend nearby that person is seething inside and hating all of them? could happen. anyway, point is: that post is ridiculous, it has 50k notes and I’m 99% sure most of them actually agree with OP and I wasn’t taught to keep my mouth shut if I hear people saying dumbass things and everyone agrees. that’s not how you do activism. enabling this way of thinking is not helping anyone, least of all OP.

other than that: 

you're constantly whining about how fed up you are about wank and "Discourse™" in your fandoms, but then you're also continuously participating in said wank by upping it up and up

so excuse me, telling people who are actually fucking wrong and spew and enable actually dangerous concepts like idk the fact that people up until eighteen years old have the same decisional capacity as five year olds, that you cannot consent to sex if you aren’t eighteen and one hour old, that you can’t date someone older or younger than you even if you’re both of age because PEDOPHILIA and that consuming problematic fiction is wrong is UPPING THE WANK?

ANON, WHAT THE FUCK. so now if donald trump does ridiculous things and says dumb shit people who disagree should just shut up and let him work and ignore it when the things he does are dangerous? anti thinking is dangerous and keeping your mouth shut and going like ‘they’ll grow out of it’ is not going to work, it’s going to make the situation worse and it’s going to get people hurt.

telling people to FUCKING CAN IT and explaining them a few basic concepts about the difference between fiction and real life is not upping the fucking wank, and calling people out on fucking dumb opinions is not the same as enabling toxic ways of thinking. good lord, if someone irl tells me that interracial marriages are wrong and disgusting what should I do, shrug and let them think I agree or MAYBE EXPLAIN THEM THAT IT’S REALLY RETROGRADE TO THINK SUCH A THING?

I mean, do you need a power point to get the difference?

kettle meet pot like hell. I never started any wank, I never posted one thing purposefully offending an entire category of people just to VENT, none of my posts ever got more than 3k notes - honest I think I had ONE that got that much and it was convention pictures of SPN actors so sure as hell I’m not getting seen by 50k people so OP actually has more leverage than me in this discourse - and assuming I’m actually doing the same thing as OP when everything I’m doing is pointing out that it’s not a healthy way of thinking and that this fucking website is turning into a worse dumpster with every passing moment since at this point the fact that I was born being fine with my sexual characteristic and liking dick is apparently enough to decide that I inherently oppress minorities just by existing and it’s not a line of thinking that activists anywhere should support, is intellectually dishonest and frankly fucking laughable especially coming from someone who doesn’t even put their face to what they ask.

and anyway, OP is a grown ass man and can take care of themselves and of a few disagreeing opinions if he wants to be on a public website where his posts go viral.

and I have absolutely no obligation to keep my mouth shut about things that are imo very fucking dangerous slip-slopes.

there. and now, since I am not going to keep my mouth shut just to make you or OP feel better, you can click the unfollow button if you dislike my opinions that much or you can stick around and learn that sometimes being an adult is a thing that should happen, especially if you frame shit as activism.

anyway, I don’t even know who you are so it’s not like I’ll miss you personally. :’)

[mulder-isms]

Begin at the beginning - (Thorcid fanfic)

A\N: It’s a sorta late halloween treat! 🎃

Thank you @fashionclownn and anon for the prompts:

 “Look, I dressed up as you.” 

“I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about.”

This fic had many inspirations, but mostly Acid’s bunny look and Thorgy with the most wanted t-shirt ever. 

As you know, you you liked let me know! Thorcid crops are dying and I could use some love.

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland 

It was never a hard task for Shane to connect with people. People can be one of a kind, but Shane was one of many kinds. A lonely existence perhaps, that could be not so lonely when finding someone he shared many things in common.

There was no way to avoid it. Jamin felt it in the air. He began to lose him piece by piece, just slipping through his fingers. After All Stars 3 a switch was pressed. Drag Race always changes everything in one try out, if you get the chance to come back it’s a damn revolution.

Shane was the one to confess.

He got emotionally involved with Trixie and the one night they had a gig together he wasn’t able to control himself anymore. He cried and asked Jamin to forgive him, begged on his knees, that it was just a fling but it was just too much.

He had not only cheated on him, but cheated with Trixie. Fucking Trixie Mattel, the constant ghost of his life.

Jamin cut him loose.

The day of his fortieth birthday he got a card from Shane. He read it and rip it. The facade behind Acid Betty was that Jamin had the sweetest fairy tales illusions. That when he would turn 40 he would have someone to share his life with because he really believed that was possible, but instead of that he had meaningless sex with someone that wasn’t Shane for the first time. He was completely hammered, covered in sweat in the small bathroom stall, the dim light, or was it just dark in his head?  The much younger man was eager had bleached blond hair, and was grinding harder on him, the birthday hat both were wearing on the floor. He was hard and what’s his name was determined to make him very happy. But there was a wave inside of him, that kept coming back and getting bigger. He still loved that mothefucker so much.

The worst thing about their break-up it wasn’t because Jamin didn’t love him anymore. It wasn’t because there was no desire. The ultimate betrayal was the lack of sighs of the upcoming disaster.

He impatiently grabbed the younger men by the ass pushing him against the wall trying to break the ocean.

A blink of an eye and it was Christmas.

The colorful lights in New York reached a new dimension. Christmas in New York has always been the most magical experience. Time heals everything is not true. At least not in such simple terms. Times heals without you being aware of it. One day the pain paralyses and breaks you in thousand pieces, and the other day the pieces crawl back together. The other day you’re whole again, all stitched and glued. Just like that.

Thorgy and Trixie were in a mini Christmas tour together. Jamin had no idea if they were in a relationship, and he honestly didn’t care. He was involved with new projects and planning of moving out of New York. That city was stained. Brooklyn was a cursed territory.

But ghost of past Christmas was there.

He was having a drink in the bar with some friends and on the TV hanging on next to the drink shelves they were showing many RuGirls presentations. When he raised his head to see who was going to be the next, the duo of musicians were there.

Trixie was sitting on a stool with her guitar, a colorful flowered dressed with long sleeves and white boots and Thorgy was sitting next to her following the song with the violin. She was wearing a red sequin dress with a big bow she wore last Christmas tour, but with a beautiful styled blond wig.

Jamin suddenly couldn’t hear the noises around him, as if there was only the TV in front of him. Trixie was singing looking at Thorgy and the audience and  had a sweet smile. The same sweet smile Jamin saw countless times at home. When Shane was his home.

He kept looking at Thorgy’s expressions, and the image was getting closer and closer, and he could see a sort of sadness in his eyes and the picture was zooming more and more until, there was only his eyes, all grained like they were trapped in a 60’s tv show.

*

Jamin woke up with a big gasp as the air filled his lungs again.

He was laying on his couch, his glasses all crooked on his face. There were drawings all over the coffee table with sparkling stones all over it . A bunny ears head piece was half beaded on the corner of the table.

He checked the time in his cellphone, almost 2 AM. Shane was out for Alotta’s auction and he said he was staying in but Jamin had a bad taste on his mouth. His stomach was aching and when he checked himself in the mirror he was pale as a ghost and his skin positively zombie-ish.

The urge to vomit was building up and before he realized that he was feeling sick too fast he ran to his bathroom toilet and threw up all the pizza and wine he had earlier for dinner . He hugged the toilet for awful two minutes after three big sprays of vomit making he feel like Linda Blair.

He leaned on the wall sitting on the cold tile, his head spinning fast. When he closed his eyes Thorgy was fucking Trixie in a bedroom that looked like the cabin from Evil Dead and then he opened them fast, panting. What the fuck was in that pizza? He didn’t even drink the whole bottle of wine.

He dragged his body to the living room again collapsing on the couch. He was feeling cold and didn’t want to get up again to grab some water. He accepted his destiny of dying in that couch when he heard the door opening and Shane coming in, his leather bag full and a tray with cupcakes on his hands.

“Girl, the auction today was so much fun! Alotta asked why didn’t you come and called you Gollum. You need indeed to get out more...”

Jamin has been in a very creative state lately, and since he was the one making everything and their travelling schedule was busy, Thorgy in gigs, and Acid in the Werq the world tour,  he gladly welcome isolation in his studio when he was at home.

Shane was putting everything on the kitchen table and not noticing that Jamin didn’t even move from the couch. He kept babbling about the people he saw there and how some of them were treating him differently because of AS3 when he joined Jamin in the living room.

He had the tray of cupcakes on his hands and he was wearing Jamin’s new Mickey hoodie. Also he didn’t remove all the traces of makeup because he still was wearing a bit of eyeliner and his lips were still red as if someone just kissed him.

“What’s wrong?” Shane noticed putting the tray on the coffee table and sitting in front of him on his knees and pressing his palm on Jamin’s forehead. He removed his glasses to take a better look at him and he looked zoned out.

“I felt sick...threw up everything...maybe there was something on the pizza I don’t know” he replied slowy as Shane caressed his face. He was still feeling cold with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Poor baby” Shane pouted rubbing his forearms to make him feel warmer. Jamin reacted weirdly about Shane touching him. The fresh nightmare still resonating in his memory.

“Is that my sweater?” Jamin noticed also that Shane was wearing his black beaded pants. “And why are you wearing my pants?”

“Yeah!” Shane replied excited  closing the zipper and showing the Mickey print. “I dressed up as you since you’re not going out anymore. Happy Halloweeeeeen!” he giggled opening his arms in a big ta-da and then kissed the tip of Jamin’s nose. “Your friends miss you” he confessed stroking his chest in circles. “And I miss you”

When Shane leaned to kiss him it was too overwhelming. Jamin leaned his head to the side and winced pushing Shane away.

“Vomit breath” he justified. Shane’s smile faded awkwardly.

“I was just giving you a peck, relax” Shane got up a bit irritated with his rejection.

Jamin closed his eyes in regret. He had no idea why he was treating Shane like garbage lately, and maybe the dream was his own unsolved issue with Trixie and the fact that he was feeling jealous of Thorgy’s connection with her. Trixie was the constant mistake he had to deal with. Their relationship was friendly, but he would always be the bitch that came for the most  beloved doll.

And he was afraid again she was going to stain the thing he loved the most.

It all made sense now. Even though he was still feeling sick. He observed Shane checking his phone standing up and he gathered forces to sit up too. He saved him cupcakes and looked adorable with Jamin’s baggy pants and hoodie.

“Thorg, sorry, It’s just the sickness speaking... I feel like there’s an alien inside of me”

Shane left the room and came back with water and some pills. He sat on the coffee table in front of him and Jamin laid again on the couch. Shane wasn’t as cheerful anymore but seemed to be okay.

“Just drink lots of water and take these pills. Not now though” he warned and stopped Jamin from taking the pills. “You have an empty stomach. Just drink water and rest. Don’t even think about eating the cupcakes”

Shane continued checking his phone and took off the hoodie and undressed of Jamin’s pants. Jamin observed him folding them nicely and when turned to leave Jamin grabbed his leg and sat down facing him, even if it made him more drowsy.

“I had a nightmare”

Shane stopped and his expression softened a little, showing that he was at least curious. He sat on the coffee table and Jamin still had his hand on his thigh, the thumb caressing his naked knee. They were inches in front of each other. Jamin smoothed his hair trying to find the words and look less nauseated, but  Shane didn’t say anything as if he just wanted Jamin to answer why he was acting so weird the past weeks once and for all.

“You cheated on me. With Trixie.”

When Shane heard the name Trixie he immediately chuckled in disbelief.

“And we broke up, and I had moved moved on. And you two were touring together and happy as two clown musicians. And I had sex with other men....”

Shane folded his arms on his chest and shifted position with the confession. Jamin took a deep breath and tried to focus again, even though his stomach was swirling again.

“And it was...not good. Because even in dreams I seem to only love you. I guess I’ve been acting weird because I feel like after AS3 everything is going to change. Again. Drag Race brought us together and I think it’s going to tear us apart this time. And you’re friends with Trixie. And I thought I got over the whole situation with her, but you mentioning her and being with her in gigs....fucked me up. It’s stupid, and doesn’t make sense, and I should know better. But I’m a tired ass jewish man that is turning forty and still lost as fuck”

He shrugged hoping for the best. Shane seemed to be still processing everything and he almost said anything and then stopped again confused.

“I- I- I don’t even know what to say. I guess sorry that I didn’t realize how my connection would Trixie would bother you? I never thought you would care because I’m the sensitive one. But after all of this, I guess I’m the asshole…”

“No, no, no” Jamin pleased caressing both of his knees and cupping Shane’s hands. “This is stupid. I’m acting like a prick lately, it’s what I do, I tend to isolate myself when I don’t know how to deal with something”

“Jamin, my connection with Trixie is just as a sister. We sure have many things in common, but we want completely different things and living completely different moments”

“I know, I know, you don’t have to justify anything. This dream, even though it was horrible, made me sorta snap out of it”

“I thought you were just like, over me. Like what the fuck did I do proposing to this bitch? Am I really going to marry Thorgy thor?”

Jamin rolled his eyes and kissed him pulling his head with both hands but Shane kept still. He kissed him slowly, his fingers caressing his earlobes.

“You do taste like vomit” Shane replied laughing when Jamin trailed down to his jawline and he stopped and pulled back.

“Well, I warned you”

They realized the TV was on the whole time and both looked at the screen, and Plan 9 From Outer Space was on.

“I had a dream about you last week too. I don’t remember much but I was a teenager in my dream, and I was playing in the school band. And you were the new music teacher. And you played the keyboard, and had lots of tattoos and I had a huge crush on you...and my dad, he read my diary and found out that I was writing all these dirty stories with you, and he threatening me to get me out of school…

“Oh my god, that is....detailed?” he replied surprised and laughing leaning on the couch. Shane peaked on the TV again “Why you didn’t tell me sooner?”

“I don’t know, you know I’m crazy, I always have stupid dreams” he shrugged.

“You must have been cute as hell as a teenager” Jamin smiled thinking about it and opened his arms inviting Shane to cuddle in. He laid by side placing his head on his chest and they both kept glancing on the TV.

“If you think greasy hair and really bad acne is cute. Also my brows were out of control. And I used to listen to symphonic heavy metal every day. Dream dad would be very mad to see me right now. He was right to take me out of that school”

Jamin hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head.

“And you know what’s weird? I do play the keyboard”

Shane shifted and got out of the embrace looking at him with opened mouth.

“I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about” Jamin replied biting his lower lip and raising his brows.

Shane scoffed looking at his sick face with dark circles under his big blue eyes.

“A bit paler than in my dreams I must say”

They kept in silence. Jamin was feeling much better with Shane’s warmth next to him and the slumber was taking over again, they were both almost falling asleep as Bela Lugosi’s monsters talked on the screen.

*

Jamin spent the whole afternoon in his studio making the new makeup video for Halloween. It was great testing new materials and trying new editing programs. He was very happy with result checking the camera pictures, still covered in pearls and face with still some traces of makeup, until he realized what time it was.

He was late as Alice’s bunny. His flight was in three hours and he had almost nothing packed. He heard a knock on the door and it was Shane.

“What are you doing here? Isn’t the Roast in like an hour?” he asked before saying hi. He was still startled about being late.

Shane was struck with the vision of Jamin shirtless covered with pearl necklaces and wearing those baggy pants he had that traced his crotch and ass in a marvelous way.

“What is happening here?” he was opening a mischievous smile and getting up, looking around the studio. “I came to pick up the things Alotta had separated for Halloween, remember? Hey, I wanna see the pictures!”

Jamin rolled eyes and picked the camera showing him and Shane started to pass and zoom them.

“This is incredible, it’s my instant fave right now” he was amazed with what he was seeing. Jamin finally could take a look at the man in front of him. Shane was wearing a fun yellow t-shirt on, printed with all women characters from Kill Bill, social black slacks that fitted perfectly and black Toms. Hair all up and neat and smelling fresh. Jamin checked the watch again. Alice’s bunny yelling “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”

“What?” Shane asked clueless about his boyfriend hungry eyes.

“You look really good, I mean, these pants. They actually fit you” he voiced checking him out like he was a delicious dessert.

“I had these forever. I used to play with them in gigs, they are nice, right?” he twirled still not getting what Jamin really wanted.

So he made it clear.

Jamin hovered over Shane kissing him urgently and he almost dropped the camera when he answered his embrace.

“Are you sure you want to do this, I-I don’t think we have time...I’m gonna be….” Jamin grinded harder pushing him against the wall making him almost bump his head on the top shelves with miniture toys. “Oh shit!”

Shane tried to put some sense into his head but there was something else on it. Jamin’s erection was poking between Shane’s legs and Jamin was trying to remove the necklaces but Shane stopped him.

“Keep them on” he pleaded panting and Jamin held his hand and they went to the couch trying to not step on the mess that was on the floor. Jamin sat and Shane was in front of him and he pulled him by the waist kissing and nibbling on the flight of his pants, while his hands grabbed Shane’s ass, making him moan and giggle at the same time.

“Take them off I’m still getting out and these are black….” he asked gathering all the coordination he had taking off the yellow t-shirt and Jamin unfastened his belt quickly, pushing down his pants so he could get out of them and the shoes. Jamin took the opportunity to get out his pants too and he was stroking his cock looking at Shane undressing, and one shoe got stuck in the pants and he jumped three times to get rid of them making Jamin laugh, sorta breaking the mood.

“You looking at me, jerking off with pearls and smudged makeup on….” Shane said as he approached Jamin’s lap, straddling him slowly, his cock sliding between his butt cheeks. “It’s such a Velvet Goldmine fantasy”

Shane started to rock slowly, cupping Jamin’s face with both hands as he rubbed Shane’s back, his thumbs ran up his spine, fingers fanned out over muscles that tensed and released under pressure. Shane’s cock was hard and slick, rubbing against the pubic hair of Jamin’s tummy as the kiss was deepening. With the friction of Shane’s body rocking against Jamin’s, his little hairs of the chest kept getting stuck in Jamin’s pearls.

“Ouch” he complained after another pull,  stopping kissing and looked down his  chest that was all red. Jamin winced. The skin was quite irritated.

“I can take them out”

“No” Shane demanded pulling him with a fistfull of pearls and Jamin started licking Shane’s chest, nibbing on his nippples and pulling him closer making him moan louder in approval. As Jamin was working on his nipples and caresisng his ribs, Shane was undoing his hairdo letting some part of the dreads lose and Jamin licked the area next to his armpit  making him laugh and getting even more turned on.

Shane then grabbed one of Jamin’s hands and licked his fingers, letting a lot of saliva run down on them. Jamin’s hands were still a little bit dirty with makeup.

“Sorry” he said giggling noticing Shane’s face with the taste of his fingers. But they were slick enough so he could warm him up a bit. “I have lube in the bedroom”

“I’m not going anywhere” Shane lifted a bit and that was the sign. So Jamin inserted two fingers inside him slowly, getting in and out as Shane pushed him harder against the couch’s cushion and making Jamin grunt louder.

His hips were finding a perfect ride rhythm as Jamin kept pushing two fingers, feeling him tensing up around them, his cock covered with pre-cum rubbing under Shane’s balls.

“Fu...you need to slow down a bit…” Jamin begged holding down his hips with both hands and Shane stopped completely breathless.

“We’re late, bunny…” Shane bluntly said out of breath and raised his brows, guiding Jamin’s hand to reach for his cock, teasing his entrance.

He started penetrating him very slowly, watching Shane enjoy every inch of it arching his back. They haven’t had sex in more than three weeks so he needed to be gentle even though he wanted to fuck the shit out of him right now. He was tight and so very, very hot. He thrusted hard into him once and Shane threw his head back, losing his  breath like Jamin pushed it out of his lungs. "You want a little more?"

"I want a lot more" Shane didn’t hesitate through gritted teeth, riding him harder. It was his turn to lose his breath for a split second, then Jamin thrusted back into him , shoving and raising his hips, the hands pinning Shane’s hips.  His delicious panting as the muscles squeezed around Jamin’s cock.

Shane pulled the pearl necklaces making Jamin lean forward to kiss him and embrace him by the waist and Shane kept riding him non stop...their bodies locked, Jamin feeling  the old couch making crumbling noises.

“We’re going to ruin this couch again” Jamin said laughing and panting reaching for Shane’s cock to stroke it as his other arm kept him stabilized in an embrace but Shane seemed to be completely dazed, eyes closed and moaning like crazy.

He grabbed Jamin’s chin and looked him in the eye, “Fuck me harder and I’ll pay you a new one”

Jamin flipped him making him lay on his back on the couch and now he was on top, with Shane’s legs over his shoulders as he pounded him harder answering his challenge. Shane pulled him by the necklaces again and one of them broke splitting pearls all over him, but Jamin kept going and Shane was working on his cock when Jamin laid over him reaching for his neck. He was feeling Shane tighten around him , hearing his cry out softly with every one of his thrusts. He was buried deep, hitting his prostate, biting into his neck again, his face brushing on his dreads spread on the cushion. He'll leave a mark. They'll deal with it later.

“I’m so close, just like that, just like….oh...fuck…!” Shane whispered with eyes wide shut.

And then he felt Shane tightened around him like a vise, an electric shock, a whirl of pleasure hitting him deep in his stomach making Jamin following him seconds later. His entire body stiffened growling in pleasure, and he wondered if the sparks flying off their bodies were going to catch something on fire and how that couch didn’t break.

He collapsed on Shane’s body. The pearls all over the floor, and his long legs wrapped around him, as he was listening his heart beating like a heavy metal drum slowly finding the classical sonata pace again.  

“I was…” Shane still breathless, and Jamin’s weight on him was not helping. “Kinda triggered when those pearls broke, having a flashbacks with my lipsync with Chi Chi…”

They both laughed and Jamin got up all sweaty and removing what was left of the necklaces. He grabbed some tissues on the table and cleaned the hot liquid on his stomach and on his cock, putting his pants on.

“I still need to pack. You want shower again, right?”

Shane just nodded with a post orgasm satisfied smile, and then Jamin approached and leaned planting kisses on his stomach.

“I feel like I can’t walk yet”

“Hey, you asked for it. Let me get you a towel”

“I’m not complaining”

Then Jamin leaned to kiss him before leaving the room.

*

Half an hour later Shane was in the car with Ruby Roo and Kirk going to the roast of Sherry Vine, fixing her hair. Kirk noticed the red marks on Shane’s neck.

“You might wanna cover these...allergies” the redhead implied handing him Ruby’s foundation powder.

Ruby looked back a little suspicious.

“I swear my skin is falling apart. Drag will be the end of me” he justified and kept teasing his friend hair and finished with a bit of spray.