#i feel like little flaws an ‘imperfections’ add so much more character to a person

[asfearlessasamango]

here i ammmmm i hope this isnt the longest ask ever lol but i cannot overstate how GORGEOUS i find your prose. the phrase “tiredness curls up in each joint like old cats in old corners” is so absolutely evocative and paints such a melancholic, beautiful, rich picture in my mind every time i remember it. i could actually get it tattooed thats how seriously beautiful i find it. most of all i loooooooove the amount of social norms, architectural details, cultural differences etc etc you infused in the story to fill in the gaps of the canon universe. the choice of using of rice paper vs. glass and all the reasoning behind it is the example that comes to mind, but im sure that if i knew more about east asian cultures, i could identify more and more details you scattered throughout the plot to turn this make believe world into a truthful parallel of the real one we have. i can only say bravo. and if you have any recommended reading for homework, i’d love to know more about these references! now back to your writing! one of thee strongest points of the story, for me, is how believable these characters are as people. they feel so fully fleshed out that sometimes it was like intruding on someone’s most private thoughts - even a little painful to keep going, and i mean that in the best way possible! i especially loved the subtle addition of zuko’s ingrained sexism and prejudice against other nations, things that ofc he’s never had reason to unlearn in this universe. he is compassionate, but can be very unkind - seems like a delicate balance, but in your story, it just flows naturally. you inhabit their heads, strengths, flaws and life experiences so well, like sokka’s blind defensiveness when he thinks of himself as helpless, his brashness and ingenuity when he sees zuko more as a puzzle to solve than a person. that goes even people who haven't gotten that much plot attention yet - like azula wearing blue lipstick (!!!!) foaming at the mouth from the thought. OFC she would!!! shes bold, shes confident and shes here to shine + now she allows herself to have fun! do “ugly” and “imperfect” things for fun! and all the parallels between this redeemed azula and the canon zuko we know. your oc who is zuko's guardian, who he calls grandma, hasn't even shown up yet and i already love and miss her. uncle iroh!!!! zuko assuming malice from uncle iroh who only wants the best for him - but ofc he doesnt know that! but we do, and it hurtssss katara and aang!!! the bath scene with aang, zuko’s forced vulnerability, their honesty, aang’s absolute grace towards zuko. suki and the kyoshi warriors! i trust they will get their turn to kick some ignorant prince ass. and the thing that draws me the most to this genre: the exploration of trauma in its aftermath. your storytelling is wonderfully brutal here. like… you draw a white picture by filling in all its shadowy contours…. if that makes sense. all the ways zuko’s life was affected by his father add up to the shape of his hurt. him not eating fatty foods to stay fit and "bend better". recognizing azula in his own reflection instead of himself. wearing his mom’s night clothes. im going feral feral feral whew! in my heart all this would’ve been a very pretty glittery letter sent to your author p.o. box. i love your story and it lives constantly in my imagination - thank you so much for sharing it with the world!!!

ohhhmg.... thank you for this!! i sat on it for a whole minute to respond right! i'm so glad you like it!! i love that you love all these characters' new lives <3 <3

there are so many Very Careful Lines to Walk in doing an ATLA au bc the original characters and cultural stories are really so complex. and i am FAR from an expert on east asian history / cultures but here are a few sources that I found helpful / interesting:

jinian qian's writing for The Millions, especially the articles "The Moon Is Beautiful Tonight: On East Asian Narratives" and "Light in the West and Shadows in the East"

chaoyang trap, which is not at all about ancient china but about very modern chinese cultural existence, especially on the Internet / social media / fandom. I can't say this has directly provided me with a lot of relevant info but it does help me figure out attitude / approaches / how things "translate" into western contexts

and of course there are so many A:TLA blogs that really keep the analytical conversations going and make ao3 as vibrant as it is-- @atlaculture, @boybff, @volkswagonblues, @azularedemptionarcwhen, @chitsangenthusiast, @azulasnailtech, @visit-ba-sing-se, @marriedzukka, @bleekay, @ash-and-starlight, @sokkagatekeeper, @azulapropaganda, @zukkababey, @comradekatara, @ofherlionheart, @chaoticsandstorm

okay i will stop blasting this post into all of atla tumblr's notifs but the above blogs are total Gs, 10/10, would not be as deep into my MFA in a:tla without these trailblazing scholars who went before me

have a lovely vintage kermit meme, mwah

[imagitory]

Barbie Review [SPOILERS]

Hi everyone! So my mum and I FINALLY got around to seeing Barbie (I swear, we would've seen it much sooner, had it not been for RL getting in the way!), and we both really enjoyed it. That doesn't mean we didn't have thoughts about it -- a LOT of thoughts about it -- so I thought I'd go ahead and write them all down in a proper review!

For those of you who want a short, spoiler-free analysis, I'd say the movie was a very entertaining and surprisingly thoughtful story that had a lot to say about gender politics, "girl power," and our patriarchal society, and although it sometimes was a bit too simplistic in how it approached those topics, that doesn't mean it wasn't still timely or meaningful.

For those of you who want me to dive in more deeply...here's a cut!

The Good!

+Speaking as someone who was never a Barbie girl or even a "doll" girl growing up (my favorite toys were figurine sets of my favorite animated movie characters), I can still testify that Barbie Land's whole aesthetic perfectly captured a "little girl" vibe. It was bright, plastic, nonthreatening, and very what-you-see-is-what-you-get. Up to a certain point, it has a very "Stepford" quality where everything is just like the day before and nobody is ever unhappy or angry, but it's still a charming and likable place. You can float off of buildings and down to the street below; you can go down slides instead of stairs; you can drive in a car that becomes a ship that becomes a rocket and then an RV. Everything is about friendship, solving problems that seem huge and dramatic with incredibly simple solutions, and finding joy in cute, everyday things. It's a bit shallow and vapid, yes, but it's never oppressive or sinister, and the inclusiveness of the many different kinds of Barbies and Kens -- not just racially, but in personalities, body types and abilities -- immediately communicates that anyone could belong in this world. (A theme that's explicitly stated later and reinforced when the discontinued Barbies/Kens and "Weird Barbie" are brought more into the fold.) Therefore you understand both why our main character wants things to stay as they are and feel investment in that world being saved, even despite its flaws. It also made for a perfect contrast between Barbie Land and the Real World -- when the two aesthetics collided, like when Barbie and Ken first arrive in Los Angeles, it was appropriately jarring.

+Our main Barbie herself!! Talk about a relatable character! The juxtaposition of her desire for happiness and "normalcy" contrasted with her anxious and depressive tendencies really makes for a funny and engaging protagonist. Her character arc was incredibly well-done, and I love that she came around to embracing humanity largely because of how much more...well, for lack of a better term, "real" things were in the Real World. The scene with Barbie in the park enjoying listening to the birds in the trees, laughing herself upon seeing two strangers talking and laughing together, and complimenting the old woman on her beauty was absolutely perfect. From what I've heard, director Greta Gerwig was pressured to remove that scene at one point, only for Greta to viciously refuse, claiming that if that scene was cut, she wouldn't "know what the movie was about" -- and you know, I can totally see why. It really pinpoints Barbie starting to understand that as shallow and pretty as her fantasy world is, the things that inspired it are even more beautiful, because they're not just plastic and manufactured. Instead they're natural, imperfect, warm, and alive.

+Can I also just add a bullet point celebrating that Barbie is not interested in Ken romantically and the movie makes that very clear not just in subtext, but in actual written text? I liked the struggle Ken had to deal with having feelings that weren't reciprocated, as well as Barbie just never having to engage in a romantic relationship, even after deciding to become human and theoretically grow up and grow old. She just never gives a shit about Ken or other guys or even romance overall at any point, and for someone who identifies with the "A" side of the LGBT+ community, that was so bloody refreshing. (Seriously, that whole scene where Ken tried to kiss Barbie good night and Barbie was just quietly like "nope"? I felt that SO HARD.) It's such a common thought process that media that focuses on friendships exclusively are inherently more child-like, especially ones with female protagonists, and it's always nice to see a film clearly made for adults with a female protagonist not feature the convention of our female and male leads being in a romantic relationship. It's especially nice considering that Ken's whole identity was wrapped up in "being Barbie's boyfriend," and shoehorning in a romance between them would've completely contradicted his whole arc of him learning who he is as an individual.

+There was some really, really good humor in this movie, especially once Barbie and Ken got to the Real World. My mum and I laughed a lot while watching this, not just quiet chuckles, but full belly laughs! A lot of jokes I saw in trailers and in fan art and gif sets online ahead of time, like Barbie and Ken getting arrested, but even the ones I saw coming were still hilarious in context. And the ones I didn't, I laughed SO hard at. The Depression Barbie commercial made me laugh so unbelievably hard. (Yes, I could see binge-watching the BBC Pride and Prejudice for the seventh time until I fall asleep on one of my bad days. Don't judge me.)

+There was also some excellent dance choreography in this too -- I can only imagine how fun this movie was to shoot!

+Good plot twist with it being mom Gloria that imagined up our Barbie, rather than her daughter. I saw it coming as soon as we saw Gloria at work with those costume concepts, but still, very good plot turn, and I like how her and her daughter's contrasting views of Barbie bumped up against each other while they helped Barbie escape Mattel.

+Oh yeah, and Gloria? GO OFF, GIRLFRIEND!! That whole monologue she did at Weird Barbie's house was so well-written and spot-on it hurt. Next time I encounter anyone who thinks men and women are treated equally, I think I'll just quote that scene.

+Speaking of Mattel, YES on having the board members all be men, and almost all white men at that. And YES on the movie for calling out both the tragic reality and absurdity of that.

+Adding onto what I touched on above, as much as I do have a few somewhat-nitpicky problems with how this film depicted "the patriarchy," it did overall really beautifully showcase the toxicity of it. In a day and age where women of all kinds are being targeted -- whether by restricting abortion rights and access to birth control, challenging women on their femininity in sports or even public bathrooms out of rampant transphobia, or otherwise -- this movie couldn't have come at a better time, and I love that a movie that so clearly embraced unabashed femininity is being celebrated so much.

The Not-So-Good...

+One thing I really didn't care for in this film was its use of music. I thought the shift from the music being largely non-diegetic (namely, something played as accompaniment for montages) to a staged, musical-style battle scene was incredibly jarring. As much as the campiness of the sequence was a little fun (the Grease references in particular made me grin), it did go on a little too long, and again, it felt like a sudden shift. I would've much preferred it if the film had either gone full-out in making itself a musical or just stuck to using music as a side element, rather than a focal point.

+As much as I understand the film was trying to make a point that superiority for any gender is inherently harmful to everyone, by having the Kens being quietly subjugated in the matriarchal Barbie Land the way women are in the Real World, I personally found that concept a little unpleasant in practice, because it plays into the idea that any victimized group would -- upon being treated with respect -- immediately turn around and want to subjugate others. It's not that I can't understand how Ken could get suckered into such toxicity, or even feel empowered, being in a world where people like him have power and autonomy...but it just made me really sad seeing him reacting so positively to being respected and represented, only to become an antagonist who turned all of his female friends in Barbie Land into mindless arm candy. Yes, incels exist and innocent men get suckered into that all the time, especially men who, like Ken, are desperate for romantic approval from a woman who is not interested in him...but considering that the film makes it clear that Kens -- unlike Real World men -- are considered as an "addendum" in Barbie Land and are second class in that society, the allegory feels a bit muddled. This isn't an issue of men growing up in a world where they're told to expect certain things -- namely, getting a great job without much effort, earning lots of money, "being the man of the house," "getting the girl," that sort of garbage -- and yet when they can't achieve all those things, they take it out on women because they can. It's become a story of a marginalized group turning around and marginalizing others...and honestly, I think that's what a lot of racists, sexists, whatever else fear above all else and why they're so desperate to keep their claws so tightly around what they see as "theirs" -- because they're convinced that the people they've victimized will want revenge against all of the groups that hurt them and victimize them just as much in return. That their victims are somehow just as self-absorbed, spiteful, and terrible as they are. And well...that's just not true! People asking for equality is not equivalent to them subjugating those who've subjugated them. Justice is not vengeance. And I can't help but feel this attempt at "putting the shoe on the other foot" loses the core of what makes "the patriarchy" and toxic masculinity so dangerous. Kens are not like men in our world -- they weren't raised with any idea except that they were "Barbie's boyfriend," much like how women in the Real World are treated. They're not privileged in the way that men in our world are. And the patriarchy is built on the back of privilege -- on the idea that having to share with others is somehow oppression against them -- not on the backs of people who feel like they've been silenced and want to be represented and heard.

+Perhaps it's also the idealistic, political side of me...but I really didn't like how the Barbies didn't take the knowledge of the unspoken privilege they'd had before over the Kens in their matriarchal society and use that to be more active in breaking down that old system after getting their minds back, rather than just make Barbie Land "like our Real World, except with Barbies in charge." Just because our Real World can't be that easily changed doesn't mean Barbie Land can't! Hell, Ken changed it into a misogynist dystopia overnight!! And after the film spent so much time accenting the importance of Kens and Barbies being their own people and not having to be defined by what they are, it seemed so horribly backwards to just go back to the old system with the Barbies overruling all the Kens' changes and taking all the power again. Couldn't we at least have all of them at the table for that vote and come together another way? Ken even admits toward the end that he didn't really even like the patriarchy idea much after realizing horses weren't so important -- couldn't we keep some of the horse stuff and just ditch the stupid mini-fridges and beer shots? Girls like horses too! Plus it would really dismantle the strict gender binary of Barbie Land overall and allow for more overlap!

+My biggest problems with this movie, though, actually come back to the ending, and they both have to do with this film's character arcs. The first problem I have is that the ending largely neglects all of the character's arcs that aren't Barbie's. The whole movie comes back to Ken discovering who he is and realizing he's "Kenough" -- okay, where's my spin-off project from Mattel, playing off of Ken's supposedly "super profitable" Mojo Dojo Casa House toy set? Where's his happy ending of Ken having dolls sold of him where he's just him, and that's cool? Why doesn't Ruth Handler bring up that Ken was ALSO named after one of her kids, HELLO, that would've meant SO much more to Ken considering his identity originally began and ended with Barbie!! (The real Kenneth Handler also came out as gay and tragically died of AIDS, for the record.) Where's Gloria's promotion, after putting forward her own ideas for new Barbies? Why can't she supplant the old CEO, finally putting a woman back in charge at Mattel after so long? Not to mention that Sasha's arc was kind of glossed over in this film, with her turning around on Barbie just by transitioning from the Real World to Barbie Land and little else.

+The second part of this problem is in the conclusion of Barbie's arc. There's a lot of focus in the script about how ideas are forever, but reality isn't: that people will eventually grow old and die and be forgotten. And that's really powerful! But when Ruth asks Barbie to take her hands so she can really understand what she's choosing when she chooses humanity, all the video footage we see Barbie experiencing is happy. There is no anger -- no sorrow -- no loss or pain. And so Barbie saying "yes" to that falls flat, for me. The whole crux of Barbie's arc is embracing the depth of the human experience, rather than Barbie Land's shallow recreation of it...but in the end, there is none of that depth, because Barbie doesn't choose a temporary human existence because she's come to see beauty even in fear, uncertainty, sadness, anger, and pain. She chooses humanity presumably because of the depth of human happiness, in contrast to Barbie Land's, and not even despite all of those more negative things, because again, it's not depicted in that sequence at all. And that felt like a real missed opportunity to me.

Overall, I found this movie incredibly entertaining. Considering I was never a fan of Barbie as a franchise, and yet I was never an active hater either, I honestly had had little interest in seeing this film until I heard such astonishingly positive feedback for it online...and yeah, I am really glad that I did finally get around to seeing it! It's definitely a very relevant and clever movie with some awesome humor and powerful themes, and even with the critiques I have about it, I couldn't be happier that it's getting the praise it's so clearly earned. Way to go, Barbie!

Overall Grade: B

[aotopmha]

I finished the Pandemonium raid series.

I thought Anabaseios was solid.

P9N and P12N are great.

I feel P10N and P11N have the same issues P6N and P7N fell into except to a lesser extent because I like them more.

P9's expanding and contracting donuts and circles were a ton of fun. And I really liked how Kokytos embodying different creatures changed his attacks. Super neat identity to the fight.

P10 was a similar case to P7 in that it had a really unique arena, but this time around I think the dodging was much more interesting and there was at least something that used the arena.

P11 is the weakest fight in Anabaseios, I think. The light/dark balance mechanic did some neat stuff because you had to stay in it and think about area denial a bit, but like a lot of Abyssos, I feel it should've had more mechanics, which were more complex and executed at a faster rate. You had something there, but the boss died before it truly got to stand out. I think I still like it more than P6N and P7N, though because this one specific idea was there "all the way through" and actually evolved, giving it a stronger identity than those fights.

P12 is my favourite fight in Pandemonium, I think, cool manipulation of platforms, neat play on donuts and circles, little bit of memory game dodging. A complete fight where different mechanics actively happened and evolved.

In terms of story, I think this was the most dense part. There were so many element happening at once and I think all of it tied together everything that came before.

We got an answer for what was going on with the Heart of Sabik (which in turn also made Ivalice relevant, which I'm super happy for because it at least made that slog matter).

It made Athena an actual character and she ended up being one of my favourite villains at the very least within all of the raid series because female villains often don't get to be smart or competent, much less have interesting motivations that aren't tied to their gender.

She is a fairly straight-forward as a personality, but the motivations we do get have a bunch of depth – they are tied to the ancients' search for perfection.

She is a foil to Venat's faith in humanity within their imperfection and her belief in humanity's freedom, instead wishing to build a perfect world within her singular vision; another twisted result of the ancients' belief in bettering their world by removing imperfect elements from it.

In a contrast to Hermes who chose to "test" humanity, she takes it upon herself to "perfect" humanity.

She is another result of the flaws of the ancients' society (in conjuction with alien influence, of course, because that always makes things a lot more fun). I dig her character a bunch.

Equally, I love how this final wing of the raid completes the character of Elidibus in its entirety.

I think he's like the perfect morally gray villain because in the end the faction that summoned Zodiark also wished for the world to be saved.

The Ascians were no different from Venat's faction in terms of motivation.

And I love how up to the end, the story is empathetic towards this idea and the character embodying the iconic Warrior of Light image does end up saving the world.

If he wasn't defeated and his aether and being wasn't available within the Crystal Tower, the causal loop/time travel would've never happened and the world would probably not have been saved from the Final Days.

All of the efforts, all of the work ends up worthwile because the world survived, humanity survived.

It's like the perfect ending for a morally ambigious struggle like this to me. Don't remove any of the bad the characters did, but make the noble intentions matter.

I already talked about Lahabrea in a previous post, so there are only two things I want to add.

First, I like how his character arc of taking responsibility and facing his problems and incorporating his bad parts back into himself probably also lead to him becoming Praetorium Lahabrea, but he also admits that yes, he'd probably do all of that because of the strict and uncompromising parts of himself (Athena's/the Heart of Sabik's influence, of course, helping it), so there's some fun causality here.

Second, I like how Athena is quoting his Praetorium speech (technically other way around).

Finally, there are Erichthonios and Claudien.

Him saying no to an abusive parent and becoming your own person making your own choices is such a satisfying character arc. It happened with Hephaistos and was even better with Athena. I actually have no other opinions about him.

Everything with Claudien on the other hand entirely feels like setup.

He has an ancient's memories and is now holding the Heart of Sabik.

Maybe a little too much naivete on the characters' part (ancient alien artifact left with the soul of someone potentially susceptible to its influence), but all of it tells me they have more coming where that came from and the unknown is super fun and exciting.

Now out of the major story material, all I have left is 6.2-6.55 MSQ. Looking forward to it.

[seriousbrat]

the implication that james never changed and/or tricked lily into marrying him pisses me off, not for james but for lily.

we have so much evidence that this girl was stubborn and headstrong and not afraid to call james out on his shit. what you’re saying about her when you say she married james despite him not maturing is you implying that she’s a silly woman who prioritizes romance and attraction over morals and would gladly go against something she is firm in her stance about for a man.

or that he tricked lily into marrying him- what does that even mean? lily isn’t stupid, how exactly would he trick her? at this point you’re putting more work into creating these nonsensical theories just to validate your dislike for a character when you can just dislike him because you can. you don’t kneed to grasp for straws trying to justify why you hate james, you’re allowed to just not like him.

but these weird theories are just silly and make no sense. and they really do lily’s character a disservice.

for real!!! I agree. We dont know much about Lily but what we do know is she wasn't shy about telling James exactly what she thought of him. For her to do a total 180 on that makes no sense and is completely out of character for her, which is impressive given there's relatively little character to be out of when it comes to Lily.

to be blunt the idea that James manipulated Lily into a relationship, based on what we know, is objectively so... so. unlikely in terms of just the base text and authorial intent. and in my opinion, a pretty overdramatic reading; purposefully backflipping into the worst most dire explanation based on very flimsy non-evidence. people are free to have their headcanons obv but that's what they are in the end.

also, like you said, it does feel unnecessary because there's already so much to hate about james (or love, if ur galaxy brained and enjoy a good character flaw) in canon so what is the point. the exact same goes for snape. idgi personally.

the "he tricked her" thing is utterly absurd on many levels imo, peak jamespiracy thinking, but also funny because personally my hc is that's what Sev believed at first, or wanted to believe anyway. He was the original jamespiracy theorist but I think he was smart enough to eventually realise that this was massive cope and untrue in the end. It's just so much more likely that jily were simply 2 young people who liked each other.

I understand relating to Snape and that it's hard to be objective about something you personally feel very emotionally invested in; but I think it's helpful to try, especially when dealing with others who may have differing viewpoints. It does seem like ppl are automatically determined to believe the very worst of James no matter what, and refusing to hold my poor flawed fucked up Sev to anything even remotely close to the same standards; it's perhaps worth being aware of that. the same is def true of many james stans/snaters i'm sure but anyway, the jamespiracy lives on!

edit to add: its not that I dont believe that strong/smart people can be manipulated. it's that it's (imo) out of character for lily to suddenly decide that she's okay with james's behaviour, implying there was a change of some sort. and I think it's more likely for him to have just matured but still been imperfect than it is for there to be some horrible dynamic of manipulation and abuse going on the entire time, which we would have seen evidence for.

[cangelgifs]

Saw some really bad anti-Cordelia/anti-Cangel opinions but I’m being so brave about it. In all seriousness though, what do you say to people who think Season 3 regresses on cordelia’s development for the sake of the romance plot? I think it’s an unbelievably wrong take that clearly has no appreciation for her character whatsoever but I’d like to hear your takes.

So, I do think we lose some of Cordy’s POV in the second half of S3 once she becomes a ‘romance interest’ but I don’t see this as a flaw on Cangel’s part. Moreover, I see it as a flaw of the show itself AKA having too many male writers in the writers room.

However, I don’t think her character is regressed at all. S3 has some of the most amazing growth for her character in the show. "So - demonize me already” is one of the best Cordelia moments across both series.

I'm going to quote Nika_83 here because she said it better than I could:

"I say they also don't know the meaning of the word regression. Which is to go backwards. At no point in season 3 does cordy slide back in to season 1 btvs behavior. So that's pattently wrong. Rather she is way more selfless and giving. This all makes sense given what she has seen and experienced. She literally feels the pain of the visions. She wants to help those people. And selfishly she wants to be important to angel and the cause. And she still maintains that "materialism' she always had with loving nice things, being bought out by clothes, loving being pylea princess, etc. Which is a part of her as a character and can be a flaw but that doesn't override her need to save others, or herself."

I don’t know the posts your referring to specifically but common arguments I see for S3 are:

She’s become a Mary-Sue/Saint Cordy. 

Angel on Top has a good response to that: “She's in this relationship with Groo that we already discussed as being, like, flawed in various ways and has a certain amount of denial baked into it. Like that is imperfect. And she also tries to read what is going on with Gunn and is completely wrong as well. Like, she’s also, like, there’s human error happening still with her. Like I don’t think she is—god forbid I use the Mary Sue word–she’s like not doing that kind of stuff. I do think Cordelia would be inherently less interesting if she was suddenly perfect and never did anything wrong ever in her life. But, you know, she’s still Cordelia. She’s still, like, making some mistakes and being a little too abrasive every once in a while. Like, I don’t subscribe to that.”

“Angel's feelings are the only ones I care about” - The Price; ‘she’s become too focused on Angel’

I think saying ‘oh, all she cares about is Angel’ is oversimplifying it greatly and missing the point. Yes, she cares about Angel and always has (see 1x22 when she buys him art supplies to make him feel better and “Well, he's gonna have to start wanting things from life, whether he wants to or not!”). This is nothing new. I think in the overall context of what’s going on in S3 at that time, it makes sense. I think she is prioritizing Angel and focusing on Angel’s grief over losing Connor to protect herself from her own grief. If she keeps busy taking care of Angel, she won’t have to feel the pain/loss herself. Also we know Cordy is guilty of downplaying her own pain to her own detriment (her hiding that the visions were literally killing her!) so sadly this is in character for her.

Thanks for the ask!

--whatisyourchildhoodtrauma

I also wanna hop in here and say that I completely agree with everything that has been said and I also wanna add that even if you completely strip away the romantic subtext of s3, Cordelia would be the same person that she was in that season because two things are very true. One, that her life would still be very much intertwined with Angel's because that's the nature of him being the protagonist--similar to how Cordy's life was very much intertwined with Buffy's on BTVS--and two, her growth over the last seasons (and arguably since BTVS) would still lead her to the place that she wound up. She didn't grow to the kind hearted, loving person who cares more about the mission than money that we see in s3 because of Angel or for Angel. She grew because she was presented time and time again with a worldview and a mission that was bigger and more important than herself and it shaped her and facilitated her growth into the person she became.

I also gotta point out that the argument in itself feels kind of sexist as if a woman can’t have positive growth unless it’s attributed to shipping her with a man. Not to mention that the "Saint Cordy" moniker also feels sexist because it both diminishes her growth and patronizes her. Essentially it paints her as this super perfect saint of a person instead of talking about how much she's grown or the sacrifices that she's had to make in order to get where she is in canon or even talking about the mistakes she does make/flaws she does have in the back half of s3. Not to mention it also is used to not talk about the real issues of the back part of s3 and how that twisted into the narrative of s4 (which is a very sexist narrative with many flaws). It's just is like "oh she's saint cordelia now" and doesn't leave much, if any, room for deeper discussions. Not to mention it also paints this narrative of "a woman has to be suffering constantly or tormented in order to be viewed as a flawed, complex person" which is both gross and incorrect.

Again, super agree with everything that has been said and this was a very good question, thank you for the ask!

-- someonefantastic

[uncloseted]

i feel like it must be exhausting to hate the leads of the shows one watches, especially when the characters are just as complex if not more (because of the screen time they get) as the other female characters.

i think especially in the case of rory gilmore, the show sets her up from the beginning to make the mistakes and the flaws she has throughout the show. rory cheated and was the other woman (but also so young... until the revival which is another topic), and became a burnt out gifted kid after being literally worshiped by a whole town, with a mother who did the same and who was always avoidant and chaotic in her own relationships (while also having teenaged rory as her confidant), /and/ had a dad who was barely ever there except when he wanted to court her mother before ghosting again.

then with paris (i love paris) her whole character also makes sense based on being neglected and bullied by her mother as a child, having her only family be her nanny and her children, and needing to focus on academic perfection partially due to feeling inadequate/being treated less than the "prettier" and more palatable girls. though i want to give her way more credit as she truly is a naturally driven, hyper-intelligent woman and with such iconic dialogue (and so refreshing to see during the 00s)... and in the end, all her hard work paid off and her character development was amazing. still, there were times where her character could be extremely cruel, like bullying rory in chilton on and off and kicking rory out of their apartment in a very dangerous area because of a perceived slight.

sorry for coming into your inbox to ramble, i just wanted to share my thoughts on why it leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth when watchers (especially female watchers) want to despise one of the leads for being flawed, when it makes so much sense why rory's often in denial of being so. because of lorelai. i just love how many layers there are in how emily raised lorelai in a conditional smothering love with expectations, and how that caused lorelai to overcompensate with rory by putting her on a pedestal so young as she wanted to give rory the happy childhood she never got. arguably, lorelai also smothered rory by putting expectations on her about going to harvard and being "the good kid who should never have sex ever" so rory wouldn't turn out like her mom. we see how rory ends up rebelling as she gains her agency, like how lorelai rebelled against emily. rory never had the space to fail until she got older and joined the real world, and i think a lot of viewers are too harsh on her character for being messy and imperfect and not always a good person. but in my opinion, rory still has a good heart, just like lorelai. that's one of the reasons i love rory and paris's friendship too. rory was so kind to paris throughout the series, even with paris's intense quirks (especially during chilton when teen paris would bully rory whenever she felt threatened) and at times violent mood swings. and paris did the same, tolerating but still poking at rory being this perfect golden child with the perfect life. of course, everyone is allowed to feel how they want about the media they consume, but alas.

if you read all of this... thank you, and im sorry lol.

also, so sorry to continue barraging you but im sleep deprived and love your blog and have a little bit more to add because i don't want it to seem like i was trying to over-defend rory. i just think all of the characters are written to be flawed but still worthwhile.

i agree that gossip girl paints serena solely as this golden girl that can never go wrong, but i think we do see that gilmore girls intentionally shows that rory does bad things and makes harmful choices. why else would amy sherman palladino write rory to sleep with a married man while having a self-righteous attitude? even though rory tries to defend it at first, i don't think the show itself does. lorelai reprimands her, she flies off to europe but then gets scolded in the middle of town by lindsay's mom, and then has a depressing relationship with dean where he's not even truly invested in her at that point. yes, she doesn't learn from that experience and still cheats and becomes the other woman again, but arguably she doesn't get a happy ending from it. she repeats the same mistakes well into adulthood (which is honestly realistic for a lot of people), but reaches a waking point at the end of the revival and it's a shame we didn't get to see how she could have redeemed herself.

she steals a yacht and has to do lengthy community service even though her grandparents try to buy her out of it, but rory has to learn a lesson like anyone else. the show makes a point to illustrate how truly privileged she is during that court scene, and how the judge doesn't reward her for it. then the show actually spends time on rory doing that community service while also losing herself in emily and richard's world due to her own poor choices.

i'm only listing some of the more severe examples, of course. she coasts through a looot of problems as well, but i don't think the show is bending to fit that and more-so that that was the foundation to begin with. from episode one, on paper rory is a spoiled only child that is at the very beginning of coming into her rich background. which is much to her mothers reluctance because of what that life of privilege brings. lorelai escaped it because of her parents' cruelty, but richard and emily were nothing but doting grandparents toward rory and 100% financially manipulated both girls while also helping rory's education along in ways most kids will never get. it's complicated but it was right there to begin with.

i think it's very realistic that characters and people alike can make bad choices and mistakes, yet not always get the proper consequences, whatever that would mean.

i'm really sorry if i'm being obnoxious but if you do decide to publish this, i hope you or others can connect with my take at all whether it's for or against. :)

You're good! I consistently write essays that only like, five people ever read, so I am not one to judge for long posts. Plus, I love it when people get excited about a discussion topic and share their thoughts with me, so this is great. I think I mostly agree with you. But I think what people find frustrating about Rory in particular is that even when she faces consequences for her mistakes, she never seems to learn from them or really grow. In A Year in the Life, she's still a spoiled kid who's sleeping with a married man and who still has an entire town of adoring people to fall back on when she's not just handed the things she believes she's entitled to. And like, is that realistic for someone like Rory? Sure. It makes a lot of sense why Rory would be like that. But it's not fun for the audience to watch. It feels grating and annoying to watch her constantly make the same mistakes. Paris is allowed to grow and learn and mature, but Rory kind of doesn't, and I think that's why people prefer Paris to Rory.

And I think it's especially frustrating for viewers because the show does have a lot of opportunities to give Rory character development and to show that she has learned something from her mistakes. As you say, she steals a yacht (because Mitchum Huntzberger tells her he doesn't think she'll be a good journalist and nobody has ever told her she's not good at something before), and all she has to do is community service. That's a show of privilege in itself- she could have easily been sent to jail for that if she was not wealthy or if she was a person of color. But even then, when the show wants us to think that she's hit rock bottom and to feel kind of sorry for her, she doesn't really learn anything. She just parlays her privilege into living in her grandparents' very nice house, gets her grandmother to give her a job, and then eventually she just goes back to Yale University as if nothing happened. And then she's shocked when the New York Times rejects her, as if Mitchum hadn't already told her that she needs to improve as a journalist if she's going to work in that field. The show could have had Rory lose all of her privilege due to the mistakes that she made. It could have shown her realizing how much worse things would have been for her if she was someone else, and have her fully accepting that she is someone who comes from privilege. It could have shown her really working to be taken seriously as a journalist, even in jobs that she considered to be "beneath her".

But instead, the same few storylines kind of just repeat for her: Rory is convinced she's entitled to something and doesn't get it, but doesn't learn anything from that about entitlement (and then often, the show assures us that Rory is actually really, really great, and the person who didn't give her the thing she felt entitled to was wrong); she sleeps with someone who's already in a relationship, but doesn't learn anything from that about respecting other people's relationships or her own dysfunctions with regard to relationships; she refuses to acknowledge the privilege she has, even though she has a lot of it. It may be realistic, but I just don't think it's good television from an audience standpoint.

[antibioware]

how would you rate the lotr + hobbit movies, from 1 to 5 stars?

TIME TO REWRITE THESE RATINGS AS I REWATCH (in January 2024) THESE BECAUSE LAST YEAR MY ANSWERS SUCKED.

Lord of the Rings:

The Fellowship of the Ring - 4 stars. I think this movie has a marvelous introduction to Middle Earth and its lore without ever resulting tedious, I absolutely adore the way they worked around Arwen characters to make her more involved in the plot and more interesting overall. While I don't agree with all narrative choices and tiny lore imperfections bother more than they should (WHY DOES GIMLI CALL MORIA "MORIA" FOR ONCE IT'S AN ELVISH NAME) this movie is insane. Boromir's death makes me cry ugly to this day. Only real flaw it has is that because the FotR book is really slow and at times a little boring, the movie feels also slow at times.

The Two Towers - 4,5 stars. THE BATTLE OF HELM'S DEEP. THE ATTACK ON ISENGARD. This movie is packed with good interactions faithful to the text, wonderful action scenes, and most important of all, Eowyn is there. It's probably the closest all the movies get to the books. I love the portrayal of the Rohirrim. Not a full 5 stars again for the Gimli slander, I really can't stand the fact that this is the movie where he decided to make him a fully comic relief character. Also I love Legolas surfing a shield while he shoots enemies, 10/10.

The Return of the King - 4 stars. This movie is wonderful, makes me cry every time I rewatch it but by god the ENDING NEVER COMES. My girlfriend and I rewatched the whole extended trilogy a couple years ago and we both nodded off for a good half an hour during the very last bit of the movie, and when we woke back up, Aragorn was yet to be crowned. Not a full five stars because they cut out the scene where Eomer finds Eowyn on the battlefield and thinks her dead from the released version, despite it being the best, most heartwrenching scene in the movies. I do love the "what about side by side with a friend" scene but it doesn't fix the fact that Peter Jackson pretty much saw Legolas and Gimli's relationship in the books, spit on it and replaced it with Legolas and Aragorn instead. Personal gripes aside, this movie deserves all the recognition it got.

The Hobbit (sigh):

An Unexpected Journey - 2,5 stars. This is probably the best one of the trilogy, because it's the only one that mostly follows the book and has fun, light scenes, where the rest of the movies tend to get overserious for no reason. They butchered the HELL out of Dwarven lore and managed to avoid having to characterize any dwarf that wasn't Thorin despite having 12 others to work with, many of which are RELATED to Thorin. I hate Martin Freeman's ugly dog face so much still, but I can admit sometimes his Bilbo works, I just have a personal bias against it. I love Richard Armitage as Thorin and to me he's the shining jewel of the trilogy, BUT I hate his shorn beard and how young he looks. Thorin is OLD, he's an old king without a kingdom, he's bitter and he's proud, the characterization is decent enough but it really feels like they made him ""hot"" and closer looking to a human just because he's a character of relevance - same thing with Kili, by the way. Also I hate a movie about dwarves that treats the lot of them like comic reliefs.

The Desolation of Smaug - 1,5 stars. This movie is BORING. I literally can't stand to watch it fully because my eyes start watering from boredom. So many useless introductions to characters that don't matter at all, especially the Elves outside of Thranduil. If I love what FotR did with Arwen, I absolutely despise that they only female character they add to the movie is not only boring and uninteresting, she's also just some guy's love interest - AND TO MAKE A ELF/DWARF ROMANCE BORING TO ME IT REALLY MEANS YOU BOTCHED THE HELL OUT OF IT. The only scenes that I like in the movies are the ones with Smaug. Bilbo talking to him? Good stuff. The whole chase scene is insanely stupid but it's kinda genius? absolutely. Calling a dragon stupid and fat and splashing it with molten gold truly does solve problems. The rating could have been higher if I didn't hate the whole deal with Tauriel and Legolas so fucking much. Why is Legolas in this movie dear fucking god I love him but I genuinely think he makes it worse just in virtue of being there. Also THRAIN DOESN'T MENTION HIS DAUGHTER DIS IN HIS LAST WORDS FUCK THIS THIS MOVIE IS STUPID.

The Battle of the Five Armies - 2 stars. This movie sucks BUT I don't completely hate the portrayal of Dwarves in this one and Dàin Ironfoot's presence makes the whole movie shine. Last time I said this was my favourite and I was wrong, I just like Thorin, the movie is so stupid it's insane, it went so far away from The Hobbit but it doesn't stand well enough on its own. The whole deal with the Necromancer works so poorly compared to the insane zigzag of alternating POVs in The Two Towers, it feels shoehorned in there and it doesn't fit, it detracts from y know the BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES. I love Thorin's death scene so much but all the other ones felt so cheap in comparison. Also gonna be controversial but the gaybaiting was tasty, and imo no one would have liked the movies weren't it for the decision to give Bilbo and Thorin a could have been something relationship. It really feels like they added it to make tumblr give it some shipping attention. The scene of Thranduil telling Legolas to "go north and find the Dúnedain" is so funny GO NORTH WHERE. NORTH OF EREBOR? TO FIND ARAGORN WHO AT THE TIME WAS A FUCKING CHILD AND LIVING IN FUCKING RIVENDELL? FUCK YOU AND YOUR LEGOLAS/ARAGORN AGENDA PETER JACKSON.

I can't believe what I said last year I need to stop writing stuff when my "fandom brain" is online

[danpuff-ao3]

The Making of: Boxes & Baubles

Normally, I have a clear idea of where I'm going before I begin any story. But for Boxes & Baubles, things played out a bit differently.

In 2021, the holiday spirit had its hold on me, but I was feeling rather aimless. I knew I wanted to write more Christmas fics. I had flashes of images and scenes in my head, but nothing clear, nothing cohesive. I turned to De-Stress December and 25 Days of Kinkmas for clues. I jotted down which prompts stuck out most. I made notes expanding on what I could do with the prompts, but still, not much stuck.

I think I was in a haze of too much excitement to actually focus.

But I'm nothing if not stubborn, so I sat with my Scrivener file open. I moved between prompts, adding what notes I could. I mulled over the idea of combining prompts. So on, and so on.

Prompt 9 for De-stress December was "Christmas Tree." I had a vision in my head of Harry and Severus decorating a tree together. It could be a drabble. I wasn't sure how to make it much of anything.

Here's where we get a bit personal. I love Christmas trees. There's so much tied to them, for me. They're a nice decoration, for one. They add character wherever they are, and they're like big neon signs proclaiming it Christmastime. They can be so individual. You can have simple, aesthetic trees. You can have chaotic, colorful trees.

There's the bonding time of decorating with friends and family. Choosing new ornaments each year. Standing around and figuring out where each piece will go. It can be a family-wide art project. That's how it was in my house, anyway. You can put candycanes on them, and rush over for your daily dose of sugar. You wrap up your presents and surround the tree with them. That's where we gathered around on Christmas morning to open presents.

When I was very young, we bought real trees. My parents were still married, and I only had one sibling. We'd bundle up in my dad's pickup truck and drive to the tree lot. My brother and I would ride back home in the bed of the truck with the tree. I won't say it was comfortable, being stuck by branches or the burn of cold wind on our faces. But it was tradition. And it was fun all the same. My brother and I would giggle. And it was such a treat, riding in the bed of the truck!

And the smell! God, the smell of a tree. That's half the magic right there.

Nowadays, I live with my partner. We have a small, fake tree and a handful of ornaments. My partner isn't big on holidays. He's no Grinch, but he doesn't have the same zest for celebrations I do. And the holidays are peak season at his job. Little time or energy to spare for projects he's not as keen on. He joins in what traditions mean most to me, but it's not quite the same, is it?

My childhood wasn't happy, really. And I'm not super close to my family. Life now with my partner is much better, even without the holiday spirit. But maybe it's the fact that Christmastime hold what happy memories I have. A not so happy life felt like pure magic around Christmas. Everyone was happy, and together. There was love. There was fun. It was so, so special.

Family matters make the holidays a complicated time for many people. For me, I clung to my joy, both because of, and in spite of, my family.

So I mulled over Christmas trees and my own connection to them. And I thought of Severus, and his not-so-happy childhood. I kept that image of "Snarry tree decorating" in my head while considering Severus' POV. With his background, how must he feel about the holidays? Not so Grinch-like with Harry, I imagined. But the holidays were probably sad affairs.

Or were they?

So I thought more on Severus' background. I had existing headcanons about Tobias and Eileen. And I've always been a fervid lover of flawed characters and imperfect relationships. How Tobias was a bad father and a bad husband, but he wasn't pure evil. And if all Severus associates with his father are bad memories, doesn't mean there were never good ones.

Doesn't that make it worse? The virtues in the people who hurt us. The good times we shared with them. It's easier to hate people when they don't feel human at all. When we are blissfully unaware of any redeeming qualities. We can hate them in peace.

And I do so love to torment my boys, don't I?

Keeping Severus' history in mind was important, but I never meant to actually write it. I opened a word document, meaning to type up a brief summary. But instead, I began my story.

Severus is five.

The tree they get is small and scraggly. Severus is small and scraggly, too.

Dad is in festive spirits. He kisses Mum while she cooks breakfast and he ruffles Severus’ hair. They load up into the car after and drive to the tree lot.

I'm a monster, really.

Once I had the opening down, I paused, and set about outlining the rest. It would begin with Young Severus, and end with Snarry, but I'd need to fill in the blanks. Lily, as an obvious choice. And I love when Severus has a romantic history with Regulus, so I made room for him, as well.

Then I went back, and continued writing.

I couldn't ignore the horrors of Severus' life, but I didn't want to linger on them, either. It really was meant to be a happy story, though looking back I guess bits of it were sad. Ah well, pure fluff rarely works for me, anyway.

Funnily enough, at the end, I squeezed in an extra scene. That's a bit unusual for me to do. I go in with a plan. And if scenes are added, I add them as I go. I always write chronologically. But while editing, I noticed a timeline error. And then...well, I was still missing something. So on a whim during edits, I added the scene with Dumbledore.

There. That was much better!

(Except, apparently, I forgot to fix a detail after adding said scene, but my friend Shera was quick to read and point it out. Oops.)

This story happened so unexpectedly. There was little purpose, little planned, just silly ole me rummaging around for something, anything to write. All I wanted were more Christmas stories. I was content to write fluffy drabbles! And in my search, I found a story that I quite loved.

Of course, there's one more bit to this story. I posted it on December 9th. People were so kind to it! And I was so very glad. And I had no idea that anyone would love it so much as to record it.

And on Christmas Day that year, my dear friend Nina posted the podfic. I cried! It was such a surprising gift, and I was so touched. And best of all, it returned to me all of the love and magic I've always associated with Christmas.

[inkykeiji]

I’m a few days late to this discussion but on the topic of Robert de Niro, daddy issues, dilfs, etc… you’re gonna judge me so hard, but yk the guy that sings the song like “my money don’t jiggle jiggle, it folds”—that song? I lowkey find the guy attractive and he’s like 60 what the hell-

oh my goshhhh hahaha no anon no judging here!!! i i had to look this guy up because i live under a rock and honestly he isn’t my type per se but i think he’s actually quite cute with the beard????? like the beard does things for him for sure!! and he’s definitely not ugly either way!!

[aussie-tea]

how is s*ylvie not a mary sue?

I have been waiting YEARS for this question. (Well not years because Loki only came out (😉) like mere months ago, but you know what I mean).

To start off here's a definition of a "Mary Sue" so we are all on the same page.

Mary Sue: A Mary Sue is a type of fictional character, usually a young woman, who is portrayed as unrealistically free of weaknesses.

Now, the reason I was so excited to finally get a chance to answer this is because when there's a character I really love, the only thing I love to talk about more than their strengths is their flaws and weaknesses.

Because ALL good characters have them, and, to me, they just add to the loveability of the character. And Sylvie, despite what many people are saying, is certainly not an exception.

One of the first flaws we notice about Sylvie is actually shown before we fully meet her. She is shown about twice in her first three main scenes that she is not the best strategist.

Although Sylvie is well versed in quick decision-making from her life on the run, she is still quite prone to errors in judgment. She gave the little French child a piece of candy which was a HUGE clue to her hideout which, ultimately, lead Loki and TVA to Roxxcart.

Sylvie would have known that the TVA would have searched the cathedral after she attacked that group of minutemen, and thus, would have easily found the child and the obviously period-inaccurate sweets.

The only thing I can think of to explain her actions was that the child caught her in the act, she worried they would spill the beans, gave the child candy to shut it up. A quick decision that didn't end up working in her favour.

Sylvie's poor strategies and planning are also shown WHEN SHE CLEARLY DIDN'T CHARGE HER TEMPAD FOR HER YEARS-IN-THE-MAKING-PLAN.

It's possible that the TemPad was only charged for the amount of trips Sylvie thought she would need. Hence, only one more trip out of the TVA after killing the Time Keepers. But even if this was the case, it shows an incredible lack of preparation on her part if things did go awry.

This is one of the most interesting things about Sylvie that I really love; she seems to genuinely lack good strategist and sly behaviour. This hugely sets Sylvie apart from the most recognizable trait of our original Loki.

Apart from the finale, she is rarely deceptive when trying to achieve her goals. She doesn't ever try to pretend to be on the TVA's side, or charm her way in, or disguise herself as a minuteman.

No. Instead, she goes for the classic warrior approach; distract the enemy, and then use brute force to get to the Time Keeper's chamber and kill them.

TALK about under-prepared; homegirl legit at the time of her attack didn't even know that her powers were useless inside the TVA.

I think Loki puts it perfectly:

Sylvie isn't a good strategist. At least, not to the same extent Loki is. She's a fighter and often relies solely on physical skills to achieve her goals, often to her failure.

From this, we can deduct that Sylvie is impatient, reckless to a fault, and, often, idealistic about how her plans should work out. despite obviously not putting too much thought into them im sorry sylvie i love you but not knowing your magic wouldn't work in the tva is something i cant forgive.

These qualities (impatient, reckless, and idealistic) also weave themselves into her fighting style. I firstly want to be clear that I LOVE SYLVIE'S FIGHTING STYLE. Seriously, it's one of my favourite things about her.

Sylvie's a brawler, which is a product of obviously never being professionally trained like almost all our other MCU characters. What she knows, she's learnt on the street, her own personal battlefield.

However, a flaw of this is that she's is not as swift and quick on her feet as other character's like Loki.

[Two gifs are pictured above.]

[First gif: Sylvie takes a swing at Loki with her sword. He dodges her attempt and locks her arms behind her back. Second gif: Sylvie lifts her foot to kick Ravonna, who grabs her leg and throws her to the ground.]

Both gifs above picture moments in this six-episode show where Sylvie uses her full body towards this one move. These moves leave her horrendously open to her opponents' advances, which ultimately leads to her being briefly overpowered in each fight.

The last point I'll make is, admittedly, a little bit of a sneaky cheat as I mention one of Sylvie's strengths, her perceptiveness, but I love this parallel so much I couldn't not include it.

So we all remember the kiss scene. Sylvie used Loki's emotions as a distraction so that she can get the upper hand in the fight. (Clarification: I do not believe the kiss was meaningless to Sylvie but I do also believe that one of the intentions with the kiss was for it to be used as a distraction.)

The thing is, how did Sylvie know that this would work on Loki? She's already known him to be incredibly aware of his surroundings and virtually impossible to trick.

The answer: she knows he's a Loki. And she knows she's a Loki. She knows that Lokis have a tendency to get easily distracted by their emotions which can cause them to lose focus of their surrounding.

How does she know that? Because it's happened to her before.

It's canon, Sylvie knew the kiss would distract Loki because she knew he would feel the same way she felt when he comforted her in the Time-Keepers' chamber which thus made her blissfully unaware of Ravonna approaching.

All in all, Sylvie does have beautiful flaws and we love her for it, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Now, someone play John Legend's 'All of Me';

'Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections

[space-city-traffic]

yet again im back on my bullshit so... (gazes with mixed feelings at the TV show Firefly) i could fix him.

my extremely long thoughts about my Own Personal Good Version of Firefly (with plenty of spoilers for the show and the movie) under the cut:

things that are getting axed first thing no question:

out with the whole “let’s add in a thin veneer of Chinese cultural aesthetics out of context for ~flavor~” deal. just no.

instead, let’s hire some actors from a bunch of different cultures and work with them to figure out how their characters would bring those cultures into space with them!! and also hopefully bring some experiences with immigration/alienation/travel into it, since the Whole Core of Firefly is about how humanity always brings our doomed and silly and stubborn and unique warmth with us even into the cold void where nothing is familiar or homey in the slightest.

let’s respect our sex worker character shall we?

i do appreciate that Inara’s work as a companion is described as legitimate and well respected in the show. however please stop having your captain and hero call her a wh*re every five seconds against her clearly expressed wishes and portraying this as just a totally acceptable thing

let’s be more respectful of our characters of color and also have some more diversity, shall we?

others have put it better than me but yeah, the way Zoe and Book are treated is very uncomfy, and the rest of the show is depressingly monochromatic. come on let’s do better.

stop the weird confederacy hat tips

again others have pointed these out with much more thoroughness than I could, but the names of some characters and locations, as well as some of the language used to describe the browncoats, has uncomfortably confederate vibes. instead i propose we very Clearly tip our hats to the Alliance equaling space capitalism instead! you can’t go wrong with space capitalism as a villain.

don’t! make! the! psychotic! character! violent!

listen i love River Tam with my whole heart. but you should absolutely not portray your only character with psychosis as violent because of that psychosis!!!!!!! and yeah, a huge part of her character is that her brain got fucked up by the alliance and so she hallucinates and is also a super ninja. but like. she doesn’t need to be a super ninja for her character to work, okay? the crew does not need to be scared of her for her character to work, okay??? more on this later bc it would take a lot of care and nuance to make her character work but i really think it can be done

things we are absolutely keeping:

found family tropes my fucking beloved

this should be self evident. this is why the show is as appealing as it is despite its flaws, at least in my eyes.

malcolm reynolds, the knight in dusty armor

there’s something so appealing to me about what Mal stands for. because at his core is this ridiculous, silly, stubborn, doomed devotion to what he thinks is important and right, a romantic idealism thinly covered by cynical cowboy platitudes that he thinks make his bleeding heart totally invisible. and he is so obvious and entirely incorrect. bless. this is a man who will do anything for his family, who charges into swordfights to defend his friend from a man who wants to turn her into an object despite having no clue how to hold a sword. at his worst, he starts brawls in bars just for the martyr’s thrill of being persecuted for supporting the right; at his best, he inspires downright religious belief from his crew because he represents a romantic and chivalrous and doomed dedication to the right thing over any practical concerns. and then he throws a “selfish” quip over it with 100% confidence that everyone fell for his clever distraction and believes him to be a dirtbag. he’s oblivious and ridiculous and god he makes me want to be a better person because he’s just so goddamned sincere. stupid, but sincere. 10/10 himbo. <3

Mal and Inara ultraslowburn friends to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to friends to...

there’s nothing i love more than a ship that’s just two people who know each other way too well, and they’re each the only one who knows the other well enough to call them out on their bullshit. the way Mal and Inara interact in the show sometimes makes me uncomfy but like. the core of their relationship has to stay.

space western aesthetic

i need the cows on a spaceship scene to stay like i need air okay

that sweet sweet religious shit

mal, who lost his faith in gd and a whole lot else during the war. who lost his faith in himself, and now feels he has to hide the part of him that still wants to be good, because he knows he can’t be anymore, and he feels like it’s embarrassing for a guy like him to want something so unattainable. who takes a preacher on board, and the preacher has lost something, too. the preacher has his own past, and his own questions. but not questions like the observant neurodivergent girl, the one who wants to interact with and understand this thing that’s so important to him, but it just doesn’t click with how her brain works and she feels like something needs to be fixed, either the Bible or herself. and Mal takes care of them all, and slowly, he begins to find gd again, not in a prayer but in humanity. humanity doesn’t need to be fixed, like the alliance thinks. the shining imperfect strawberry sweetness of it in his family’s smiles is something to be worshiped and served and devoted to. and he finds he has something to believe in again. (and his crew find that he’s given them someone to believe in, too. and maybe suddenly he’s a saint.)

and finally, my brilliant ideas as to what i would like to add:

TRANS WOMAN KAYLEE RIGHTS

listen her femininity is so important to me okay? it’s so thrilled about everything that’s pretty, from dresses to the spaceship’s electric innards, and it’s so non-traditional and grease stained until it’s not and it’s pink and ruffly and twirly, and she never sees any of it as a contradiction, because none of it contradicts, it’s all just her! her gender is warmth and love and prettiness, feeling pretty and appreciating the pretty and making her friends’ days pretty too.

i want us to find out she’s trans in that episode with the ball, and i want us to find out alongside Mal who just never asked or never realized. Kaylee gasps and squeals at the dress in the shop window and Mal makes an off handed, ill considered comment, and then... someone yanks him aside and hisses a few very significant words in his ear. and suddenly he remembers what the blue white and pink she painted all over the engine room means, and he knows he has something to make right. so he buys her that dress himself and lets her know just how pretty she looks, and when he walks into that ball with her displayed on his arm like something precious, he looks the proudest out of any man there. and she notices. for a few seconds, of course, until there’s chocolate, and ‘nara, and a chandelier—and some horrible girls, but she’s used to that, until—suddenly, she finds her people. a group of old men who light up when she jokes about compression coils and whack presumptuous boys who ask her to dance. they adopt her as a treasured granddaughter, and Mal is beaming at her like a proud dad, and she finds that one of her new elderly friends gazes a little too long at her bracelet, and so she gives it to xem and teaches xem a few new words, and... it’s a good day, huh? it’s a really good day. (of course, then the captain has to go and punch somebody in the face, but it was a real nice party up until then.)

also she and Simon are both transhet t4t im correct and you know it

time for a better River Tam

the first thing we’ve established is that this version of her is not unpredictably violent and the crew is not scared of her!!!! it makes no sense to take a kid who’s primarily brilliant, experiment on her brain, give her telepathic powers....... and tack on the fact that she also has super strength and speed and dexterity and what not, AND say that they programmed her to be super violent. no! no. not only is that extremely harmful rep, that’s also just stupid.

instead!! my version of River is in fact not terrifying to the crew, but is actually the one they feel safest around. River has always been totally blunt, she was one of those kids you could tell realllllly early was autistic, and she doesn’t like being disengenous at all. so you can always trust her to tell the truth and not play weird passive aggressive games or have any hidden agenda, which makes her just a really chill person to be around. also, one of her longtime special interests is music and dance, so whether or not she’s nonverbal on a given day, there will always be some sort of beautiful sound when she’s around. she does have the singing voice of a dying crow unfortunately but that’s ok bc Simon’s is even worse and they’re both incredibly competitive so you’ll at least get free entertainment out of the affair.

my version of River does have psychosis and hallucinations because of the trauma of the experiments, and they are really troubling to her. she and Simon work together to find ways to cope and meds that help, and it’s a process, but there are some things that help.

the only thing she gained from the academy was the ability to hear people’s thoughts and sense the future a little bit. and yeah, that led to her picking up a few spooky secrets at the beginning, which, yikes. and for a while, it was hard to figure out which voices were real and which were hallucinations. but around her friends, she always feels safe to ask “did you just think about triple cheese burritos or was that just a me thing?”, and they’ll always tell her the truth no matter how embarrassing their thoughts are, bc it’s important to all of them to respect her and help her sort accurately through what’s reality and what’s not. and bit by bit, she gets better and better at figuring out what kinds of things tend to be telepathy and what kinds of things tend to be psychosis, and that each one feels a little different. and because of the trust and respect and support of her found family she’s able to do that in a safe environment!!!

trans man Simon rights

listen i wanted to keep him as just a side note on Kaylee’s list but he is my son and he’s important to my heart so here goes

out on the outer rim where Kaylee’s from, gender ain’t much of a big deal, there’s an individualistic quality to life out there, and so if the trail you blaze is the trail of a woman or a man or neither or both, that’s respected even in the rare cases where it’s not outright encouraged. but in the inner planets, where competition and connections and public faces and family names are everything, you have to be what’s expected of you to survive. you can’t change your brand, you can’t be anything other than what your family planned for you since before you were born, it’s incredibly hard to survive in such a hyper competitive environment, and so your very identity becomes just a tool in how to market yourself for better success.

needless to say Simon (just as autistic as his little sister and also very trans) fuckin hated it there. but he was very good at it. correction: he was very good at his very specific field of STEM, good enough to where people stopped talking about how cute he looked in bows and started talking about how impressive his work was from a very young age. and his work had no gender. he could be whatever he wanted to in equations. so that was where he could express himself, and gd, he got so much praise for it, he never wanted to stop.

not until he discovered that his sister needed him, and ran away, and needed a disguise, and realized... suddenly, every stifling rule and prying eye was a million miles away. he was freefloating, freefalling, with none of the charted paths he’d been following all his life... so you know what? fuck it. he’s always enjoyed the name Simon. and since it’s not on any legal records, it’ll make him just that much more untraceable.

and on Serenity, starting over with new people who never knew him before his transition feels like an unbelievable blessing that just dropped right into his lap. he has to keep up the secrecy, he has to make sure they never find out who he used to be, because gd, it’s so nice when they look at him and say his name right, and he doesn’t know if he can handle losing that, not when it’s so new and so important to the person he’s finally becoming. but then one day, the unthinkable happens, the wanted posters for his arrest have an old name on them, they’re looking for the Tam sisters, and... nothing changes. the crew of Serenity could not give even a tenth of a percent of a fuck, and it doesn’t seem like they even know they’re supposed to. huh. that’s new. Simon could get used to that, he thinks.

i’m sure there’s more i could add, but it’s 4:30 in the morning now, so if more occurs to me, ill simply add it in a reblog tomorrow. if you’ve read down this far, i am in love with you. please let me know your Better Firefly ideas, too, bc im always down to yell about this show!!!

[justagirlsearchingforamuse]

Hot Take: As much as Euphoria has problems and the writing hasn’t always been good especially towards certain characters, I enjoy the nuanced and imperfect take on these characters. Personally I enjoy media that adds nuance to their characters and plots regardless of if it’s a fantasy world or whatever, it’s good to see characters and people giving complexities. Imo Euphoria does a good job at making these characters grounded in realism, explores their traumas and grief in their reactions and actions to the things going on in their lives, and the show is good at making you still root for these characters. Also, they don’t care about making poc/lgbtq+ people good because they are simply that and makes them people outside of their sexuality or race. People can be shitty and also be gay. People can be shitty and also be poc. (coming from poc) Rue for example, a lot of people would hate her for what she did and some people do but the show had written her plot with great nuance and empathy behind her actions. It shows how drug addicts act, the consequences of their actions, and how drug addiction is a terrible disease that can have a great hold over you and those in your life. As much as I do like that, they also give her flaws and depth that fleshes her out as a person, she’s sensitive and soft but also tough and willing to go to bat for anyone she loves. She’s shy, introverted, and sarcastic. But just because she is a drug addict doesn’t mean she’s not endangering her family or putting them through hell and doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be held accountable or that the consequences of her actions  Jules despite how many people really dislike her and the things she did, is a decent person despite sometimes being selfish and prioritizing her feelings and emotions over others in her life, she’s still an alright person. Because as much as her cheating was an incredibly shitty thing for her to do, I can’t hate her, I can hate her actions but not her as a person. Which reminds me, between her and Cassie cheating one thing I will say is that she never had a victim mentality about the whole thing as well as a person. As much as I like Cassie, she deals a lot with victim mentality that makes it much harder to like her especially to some fans. Jules is allowed to make selfish mistakes, be young and dumb, and be reckless as she is a human being at the end of the day, yes she should be held accountable for her actions but in her relationship with Rue it’s always nuanced and never simply one person being bad or toxic for the other. Both aren’t good for each other due to pass issues and even trauma, Rue depends too much on Jules to stay sober and put her sobriety on Jules but Jules also neglected Rue’s feelings at times and has made selfish choices in their relationship. Their relationship isn’t just Jules bad, Rue good, or Rue bad, Jules good. Imo I wish people would see their relationship with a nuanced take and more so both of them making mistakes and doing things in the relationship that caused it to sour. Imo, the show does a good job of making me understand Jules and her actions and reasonings as to why she may do some things and why she is the way she is. Now, Cassie because as much as I hate her actions and how she is acting this season, I can’t really hate her but I do dislike her actions and the victim mentality that she constantly haves which could be considered denial or trying to get rid of the guilt. But she sees herself as a victim in a situation where she actively did harm and did actions she knew would hurt Maddy, but I also understand why she would act the way she does. I know it’s not an excuse at all, she has daddy issues, extremely bad ones along with low self-esteem, and a need for male validation. As well as having little to no control over her emotions and so much more but just because she has all this doesn’t mean she’s free from the consequences of her actions. But also you can’t help but at times feel bad for Cassie with how her desperation reaches new and new lows each episode and how far she is willing to go at the chance that she’ll be loved. The thing about Euphoria is that they show these character’s lives and even show reasonings as to why they are the way they fucking are, Cassie’s mom was an alcoholic and her dad was a drug addict who left the family. Her mom has always in a way infantilized her and has never really given her a chance to be anything more than the innocent and sweet persona she puts on. In a way, Suze had a hand in her victim mentality and in the way her children grew up which I understand, her husband left and she probably had a lot of inner turmoil and shit but she has kids to raise. I also feel with a lot of the main characters parents that with how they are, it makes you question why people with a lot of issues still chose to have kids and in a way they are product of their parent’s issues, neglect/abuse, and of their lifestyles. Cassie is a good example of that and as much as I like Suze holding her daughter accountable finally, I place some of the blame on how Cassie on her as she was her guardian, hell her mom was probably actively drinking and was a negligent parent emotionally. Same with Lexi, who I do like and I feel people rarely see it as them being on both sides of the spectrum of daddy issues, whilst Cassie is the more extreme version of it, searching desperately for male validation and dating toxic men in hopes that they’ll love her. She is desperately searching for something to fill that void whilst Lexi is the lesser extreme, in a way she acts independent and in a way doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone. Both girls need therapy but Cassie does more so to a greater extent and imo a lot of people haven’t considered how mentally ill she may be. No one really seems to care or ask and it doesn’t make Suze question that her daughter is suicidal because she has to hide knives from her. She could be doing this for attention but even then it should be raising red flags because there is seriously something mentally ill with someone who wants to fake it for attention. Despite this, she actively dates her best friend's abusive ex-boyfriend and in a way only really gets mad because she’s dealing with the harsh consequences of actions she continued to do. Another thing I wanna say is, I feel people don’t hold her to the same standard as they do Rue and it was fucked up the way she said it but people don’t realize that Rue despite what she does most of the time is treated with empathy and care. Yes, Rue is self-aware but it doesn’t make her actions any better and I am happy she is taking the steps to get better and focus on herself. Maddy doesn’t get that same empathy at least not in season 1, Jules doesn’t get that same empathy, Elliot doesn’t get that same empathy, Rue is a drug addict but still should be held accountable for her actions. Especially considering she actively put her family in danger by her own will to do drugs for free and yes drug addicts do stupid shit just because they want more of that high but it doesn’t make it any worse. Why is Elliot getting more hate about that than Rue who made the choice to listen to someone like Elliot (not to mention she likes that he is a bad influence and only really hated him because he told her family she does drugs.) and not to Fezco or any logical people in her life. I like Rue but I don’t know if I could forgive her or even like her if anyone in her life suffers because she chose to bet her life to get drugs. But back to Cassie, she isn’t held to the same standard as Rue or the more relatable characters and same with Jules. It’s never, her actions weren’t okay but I believe she’ll learn, it’s simply you made a shitty choice I don’t like and you are a shitty person based on shitty and sometimes selfish choices you make. I don’t hate Cassie or most of the characters to be honest, you can hate someone’s actions and still like them as people should be statements that can co-exist without starting fights. I like that this show lets that statement exist and despite how bad a lot of these characters actions are, they explain and show why they are the way they are without painting them in a good or bad light.

[killianmesmalls]

On your comments about Jack: ye-es, in the sense that Jack is a character who definitely deserved better than he was treated by the characters. The way Dean especially treats him reflects very badly on Dean, no question. But, speaking as a viewer, I think the perspective needs to shift a little bit.

To me, Jack is Dawn from Buffy, or Scrappy Doo. He’s an (in my opinion) irritating kid who is introduced out of nowhere to be both super vulnerable and super OP, and the jeopardy is centered around him in a way that has nothing to do with his actual character or relationships. He’s mostly around to be cute and to solve or create problems — he never has any firm character arcs or goals of his own, nor any deeper purpose in the meta narrative. In this way, he’s a miss for SPN, which focuses heavily on conflicts as metaphors for real life.

Mary fits so much better in that framework, and introducing her as a developed, flawed person works really well with the narrative. It is easy for us to care about Mary, both as the dead perfect mother on the pedestal and as the flawed, human woman who could not live up to her sons’ expectations. That connection is built into the core of SPN, and was developed over years, even before she was a character. When she was added, she was given depth and nuance organically, and treated as a flawed, complex character rather than as a plot device or a contrivance. She was given a voice and independence, and became a powerful metaphor for developing new understandings of our parents in adulthood, as well as an interesting and well-rounded character. You care that she’s dead, not just because Sam and Dean are sad, but for the loss of her development and the potential she offered. So, in that sense, I think a lot of people were frustrated that she died essentially fridged for a second time, and especially in service of the arc of a weaker character.

And like, you’re right, no one can figure out if Jack is a toddler or a teenager. He’s both and he’s neither, because he’s never anything consistently and his character arc is always “whatever the plot needs it to be.” Every episode is different. Is he Dean’s sunny opportunity to be a parent and make up for his dad’s shitty parenting? Yes! Is he also Dean’s worst failure and a reminder that he has done many horrible things, including to “innocent” children? Yes! Is he Cas’s child? Yes! Is he Dean’s child? Yes! But also, no! Is he Sam’s child? Yes! Is he a lonely teenager who does terrible things? Yes! Is he a totally innocent little lamb who doesn’t get why what he is doing is wrong? Yes! Is he the most powerful being in the universe? Yes! Does he need everyone to take care of him? Yes! Is he just along for the ride? Yes! Is he responsible for his actions? Kinda??? Sometimes??? What is he???

Mary as a character is narratively cohesive and fleshed-out. Jack is a mishmash of confusing whatever’s that all add up to a frustrating plot device with no consistent traits to latch on to. Everything that fans like about him (cute outfits, gender play, well-developed parental bonds with the characters) is fanon. So, yes, the narrative prioritizes Mary. Many fans prioritize Mary, at least enough that Dean’s most heinous acts barely register. To the narrative (not to Cas, which is a totally different situation), Jack is only barely more of a character than Emma Winchester, who Sam killed without uproar seasons earlier. He’s been around longer, but he’s equally not really real.

I debated on responding to this because, to tell the truth, I think we fundamentally disagree on a number of subjects and, as they say, true insanity is arguing with anyone on the internet. However, you spent a lot of time on the above and I feel it's only fair to say my thoughts, even if I don't believe it will sway you any more than what you said changed my opinions.

I'm assuming this was in response to this post regarding how Jack's accidental killing of Mary was treated so severely by the brothers, particularly Dean, because it was Mary and, had it been a random character like the security guard in 13x06, it would have been treated far differently. However, then the argument becomes less about the reaction of the Winchester brothers to this incident and more the value of Jack or Mary to the audience.

I believe we need to first admit that both characters are inherently archetypes—Mary as the Madonna character initially then, later, as a metaphor for how imperfect and truly human our parents are compared to the idol we have as children, and Jack as the overpowered child who is a Jesus allegory by the end. Both have a function within the story to serve the Winchester brothers, through whose lens and with whose biases we are meant to view the show's events. We also need to admit that the writers didn't think more than a season ahead for either character, especially since it wasn't initially supposed to be Mary that came back at the end of season 11 but John, and they only wrote enough for Jack in season 13 to gauge whether or not the audience would want him to continue on or if he needed to be killed off by the end of the season. Now, I know we curate our own experiences online which leads to us being in our own fandom echo chambers, however it is important to note that the character was immediately successful enough with the general audience that, after his first episode or two, he was basically guaranteed a longer future on the show.

I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure why the perspective of how his character is processed by some audience members versus others has any bearing on the argument that he deserved to be treated better overall by the other characters especially when taking their own previous actions in mind. I’m not going to tell you that your opinion is wrong regarding your feelings for Jack. It’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it, it harms no one to have it and express it. My feelings on Jack are clearly very different from your own, but this is really just two different people who processed a fictional person in different ways. I personally believe he has a purpose in the Winchesters’ story, including Castiel’s, as he reflects certain aspects of all of them, gives them a way to explore their own histories through a different perspective, and changes the overall dynamic of Team Free Will from “soldiers in arms” to a family (Misha’s words). In the beginning he allows Sam to work through his past as the “freak” and powerful, dangerous boy wonder destined to bring hell on earth. With Dean, his presence lets Dean work through his issues with John and asks whether he will let history repeat itself or if he’ll work to break the cycle. Regarding Cas, in my opinion he helps the angel reach his “final form” of a father, member of a family, lover and protector of humanity, rebellious son, and the true show of free will. 

From strictly the story, he has several arcs that work within themes explored in Supernatural, such as the argument of nature versus nurture, the question of what we’re willing to give up in order to protect something or someone else and how ends justify the means, and the struggle between feeling helpless and powerless versus the corruptive nature of having too much power and the dangerous lack of a moral compass. His goals are mentioned and on display throughout his stint on the show, ones that are truly relatable to some viewers: the strong desire to belong—the need for family and what you’ll do to find and keep it. 

With Mary, we first need to establish whether the two versions of her were a writing flaw due to the constant change in who was dictating her story and her relationship to the boys, which goes against the idea that her characterization was cohesive and fleshed-out but, rather, put together when needed for convenience, or if they both exist because, as stated above, we are seeing the show primarily through the biased lens of the Winchester brothers and come to face facts about the true Mary as they do. Like I said in my previous post, I don’t dislike Mary and I don’t blame her for her death (either one). However, I do have a hard time seeing her as a more nuanced, fleshed-out character than Jack. True, a lot of her problems are more adult in nature considering she has to struggle with losing her sons’ formative years and meeting them as whole adults she knows almost nothing about, all because of a choice she made before they were born. 

However, her personal struggles being more “mature” in nature (as they center primarily on parental battles) doesn’t necessarily mean her story has layers and Jack’s does not. They are entirely different but sometimes interconnected in a way that adds to both of their arcs, like Mary taking Jack on as an adoptive son which gives her the moments of parenting she lost with Sam and Dean, and Jack having Mary as a parental figure who understands and supports him gives him that sense of belonging he had just been struggling with to the point of running away while he is also given the chance to show “even monsters can do good”. 

I’d also argue that Jack being many ages at once isn’t poor writing so much as a metaphor for how, even if you’re forced to grow up fast, that doesn’t mean you’re a fully equipped adult. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I believe Jack simultaneously taking a lot of responsibility and constantly trying to prove to others he’s useful while having childish moments is relatable to some who were forced to play an adult role at a young age. He proves a number of times that he doesn’t need everyone to take care of him, but he also has limited life experience and, as such, will make some mistakes while he’s also being a valuable member of the group. Jack constantly exists on a fine line in multiple respects. Some may see that as a writing flaw but it is who the character was conceived to be: the balance between nature or nurture, between good and evil, between savior and devil. 

Now, I was also frustrated Mary was “fridged” for a second time. It really provided no other purpose than to give the brothers more man pain to further the plot along. However, this can exist while also acknowledging that the way it happened and the subsequent fallout for Jack was also unnecessary and a sign of blatant hypocrisy from Dean, primarily, and Sam. 

And, yes, Jack can be different things at once because, I mean, can’t we all? If Mary can be both the perfect mother and the flawed, independent, distant parent, can’t Jack be the sweet kid who helps his father-figures process their own feelings on fatherhood while also being a lost young-adult forcing them to face their failures? Both characters contain multitudes because, I mean, we all do. 

I can provide articles or posts on Jack’s characterization and popularity along with Mary’s if needed, but for now I think this is a long enough ramble on my thoughts and feelings. I’m happy to discuss more, my messenger is always open for (polite) discussion. Until then, I’m going to leave it at we maybe agree to disagree. 

[papers4me]

Hi, I have always read your furuba reviews and I'm very curious about which are your favorite characters and why?

HI!

Thank you for reading my posts<3. I know I've been slow lately, but I'm not in a right emotional place right now, but I'll be back to posting soon. Actually talking abt furuba & story-telling here in tumblr is such a peaceful outlet that I'm thankful for.

While I love 97% of furuba characters, my faves kept changing while I watched the anime. I decided to have 5 top characters as faves & number one kept changing as the anime progressed.

Since I'm all abt story-telling, I think I need to separate the anime from the manga cuz no way in the anime that tohru would be on my top 5, heck not even top 10! I really don't like how her character was reduced to yuki's mommy-tohru, then angel-tohru, then villain-fixer tohru. The real individual tohru with her own personal story is just two eps long, so meh~. Also, while yuki is in my top 5 in the anime, I don't like how he's too perfect & prince in the anime while his own theme is the imperfect non-prince. Kyo's, too in my top 5 but I dont like how his own story is intentionally messed up by the anime with the stupid "I forgot" that contradicts the anime's own canon plot...

So, I'll tell you my top 5 fave character in the manga so fat with no particular order.

Tohru, while I'm yet to uncover her own plot in the manga, so far she has way more character exploration & depth!! She really feels like a different character from the anime! I'm shocked! The facial expressions, the occasional doubtful self-talk, even the "fake-smile"mask she puts is so expressive. She is treated as a character with a personal plot , regardless of being the protagonist. Her own plot is not reliant on being yuki's mommy, or the sohma's shrink, or a fixer. Her own plot line is abt grief & being lonely. It's the most common struggle that we all share regardless of our gender, race, financial status. Death is the ultimate fact & we'll face loosing a loved one & feeling lonely is not related to social skills nor being loved. I'll forever hate the anime for passing on such unique universal theme in favor of emphasizing the most popular shonen-themed coming of age story ( a boy becoming a man) "yuki" or the over-exaggerated drama in "kyo's". Like I dont want them to pass any of the 3 characters plotlines, but the anime made a choice & forever cemented anime tohru as the most "fixer"character in anime history like 98765678 of other female protagonists.

Yuki has way more character & realness in the manga. He doesnt come off as narrator-y as he does in the anime simply cuz the anime only chose the parts where yuki narrates as a voice-over & told us how to feel & dropped all the parts where he's interacting & actually talking to other characters not just the audience. His own personal story is abt "observing, learning & having the guts to make a move & embracing his own imperfection". I love this! Anime yuki is not imperfect. no. he's the icon of perfect prince, he even initiates a set of fanclub girls into the world that they float! He's so perfect, he "heals" a girl simply by talking to her once. That's all it takes him to fall in love & find his soulmate. While in the manga, I'm starting to see yuki display signs of "kind jerk" in the making, that's refreshing!

I admit that I didn't include kyo into my top 5 until se02. Don't get me wrong, he's so endearing since ep1, but didnt seem to be complex nor refreshing as the others. but se02, ep 9 was the first glimpse into his own character depth & I got hooked! I'm so in love with the theme of "repeated mistakes & guilt". it's such a mature theme & speaks to a much wider audience. The more we repeat the same mistakes, the more we self-sabotage our lives. Also, I love the love isn't a magic healing element in his story. He's the most loved character by tohru, yet her love only hurt him more due to his guilt. Moreover, the romantic element itself wasnt a cliche "love at 1st sight, nor lovers since childhood, nor girl fixes a guy, nor guy protects the girl from danger". Not at all. It was "love blooming subtly, little by little by mundane daily life". I cant express how much I applaud Takaya-san for such complex writing. In the anime, kyo only comes when it's his ep, other than that, he's absent or characterless. I hated that. So far in the manga, kyo has an existence even in other plotlines & has different aspects of his character. Also, I'm shocked at how much inner dialogue he has! like no too much that it involves other character nor too little that you dont understand him. It's just the right amount.

Momiji. He's the most balanced character. He isnt fixed by tohru, but isnt perfectly fine either. He's the definition of the right amount of kindness. He doesn sell himself to make other happy like tohru or kureno, nor puts himself in danger to save others like haru. He does help others but also helps himself. He helped his mom forget him cuz honestly that wasnt even his choice. it's the dad's. He participated willingly tho in avoiding her, but he didnt dwell in self pity & locked himself emotionally. He let go of loving tohru & encouraged kyo, but while he genuinely loved kyo, he didnt just back off cuz he's kind & a sacrificial angel. He stood like a man & challenged kyo for tohru's heart, but let go when he realized the choice is tohru's. not them. They can love her aromatically, but she's the one who decides who to be with. I love the theme of "not competing for love". it's not a competition really. never was. Still, as love sick & heart-broken as he was, momiji didnt dwell in self-pity & after allowing himself to heal, he bounced back & smiled. Momiji is no foolish traveler.

The spot is reserved to a certain character that I want the manga to prove their worth. I dont want them to be as shallow as the anime made them to be. I want to see depth. I dont know if the manga writes them better, but once I finish the manga, I'll know.

I wanted to add shigure but no. Despite all the complexity & the unique roles he has & despite how much I love characters with big giant flaws & ugly characteristics, shigre fell from my top 5 long ago. Look, this seems petty but I can't get over the fact that he slept with akito's mom. ewwwww. It makes me wanna puke! so disgusting. yuck yuck yuck! I dont mind that he "cheated"or wanted to "hurt akito by sleeping with ANOTHER woman". As a matter of fact, such acts create drama, ugly feelings & emotional struggle. I love such things in fiction. but he did it with the mother. He actually laid with both mom & daughter in his life. ewwwwww! This level of eww is so revolting to me! Some ppl are disgusted by bugs & worms that they want to puke, me.. when ppl sleep with both parent/off spring, or both siblings. Yuck! & it's even more yuck that it didnt stop their "love" from being real/ happy/ perfect/ passionate! & that it worked in making akito "want him more & be a "woman" for him"... ew!

lol, so yeah~here's my super long answer to ur super short qs. but I dont be "papers"if I didnt write till my fingers hurt, now would I? XD. I enjoyed ur question so much! thanks<3.

Anon, Don't get offended ny my shigure-rant! XD. its petty, I know. if u read this, tell me who's ur fave?

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[ginwhitlock]

thanks for responding to my last ask. I was scrolling through your answered asks and saw the one where someone asked you why you don’t like rosalie and that was sooo out of pocket for them to pin it on your trauma! that was awful and you didn’t deserve that.

I was raped too and I have never felt the need or desire to relate to rosalie over that bc she very much is rich and white and my race and socioeconomic status are far more important to my identity than something that happened to me that I had no control over.

anyway I would love to hear more thoughts on how the fandom idolizes rosalie and why you don’t like her, because I agree with you but I’m not sure how to phrase it yet, and your viewpoint is unique

Oh you’re welcome! And thank you for asking. Sometimes I feel like this fandom praises and defends/crucifices a lot of things without asking the people it effects. And of course everyone is perfectly fine liking Rosalie— I mean I have a blog about Jasper, I have no footing to stand when it comes to their horrible pasta. But as a survivor there are a few things I wish people wouldn’t do when it comes to Rose:

They make her into an entirely just, rationalized woman. And yes, her revenge on those men is something I support— but she’s not a perfect person (which is a good thing. If your characters are perfect why even write them).

She’s irrationally controlling: wether this be for her sense of justice, her own fear, or whatever it may be in that scene, she still is trying to control others actions past her limit. She believes that because she was turned and things were taken away from her (which I’ll get into those things in a moment) she gets to make everyone else lose things they love/want. With Edward it’s Bella, with Bella it’s immortality, etc. and as a imperfect character this is a flaw, but not one that was written badly. She was raped. I know how that feels. You feel no control. You are a ghost in your own body, unable to get back the steering for a long time. So it makes sense for her to have this controlling side (or whole, she doesn’t really change from this angle) and the fandom likes to say that either she is just in this controlling bc she’s “right” or that “rose would never be controlling other peoples bodies bc she’s been raped and rape victims would NEVER do that” stop infantalizing us. Stop acting as if we cannot make bad choices, or can’t have charcters flaws that are directly caused by our trauma. We must take ownership of it. We must be checked like everyone else. Your trauma is not an excuse to be a shit person.

About the things she’s lost, she acts as if Carlilse took them away when he turned her. He didn’t. Those men killed her. She was on her deathbed basically. She wouldn’t have been able to have children, a husband, a nice human life if he hadn’t turned her. She would’ve died. Did carlilse take about her choice? Yes. But the good doctor never seems to ask, does he?

She gets him to turn Emmett. After monolguing for two years about how she didn’t want to be turned without her consent and that she would rather have died and she hates immortality. She turns another person. Takes away their choice. Saves him from death. Now that’s some fresh hypocrisy.

Emmetts turning is also something she adds to her perfect control. Because she carried him half dead through those woods— and I commend that, I do. But she holds her control over their heads. She is the one who never ate a human, or tasted human blood, something no one gets to forget. And I understand the bar she believes she must hit, Carlilse raising them all up to be “good vampires” but she is also a grown woman with her own choices, who doesn’t need to take a knee next to Carlilse everytime he breathes.

And then there’s the obvious that I hit on a little: her economic background. Girl was rich. Rich rich. In the depression, a time in history I physically still have family from (deep south. We struggled immensely) that have told me the stories of how the rich wouldn’t even look at them. And I don’t put that past Rose with what we know about her. She was oblivious it seemed to how the world functioned around her, how it was caving in. She wanted a family and a rich husband and a nice house. Like her family had. Like her future husband never got to have. The idea that the too of them hit it off it literally just because of Emmett’s demeanor and character. If he was any other man in his position, he would’ve hated Rose.

And the fandom eats it up. That this “idiotic” “stupid” POOR man fell in love with the woman who had everything. Don’t get me started on how the fandom portrays Emmett and the south, especially being he was a mountain boy. It disgusts me sometimes, even as they’re rush to placate those who have never faced the same ridicule and oppression. I go anywhere out of the south and am not taken seriously because of my damn accent— so much so that I can fake a Midwestern accent like a fucking champ. The idea that Emmett wasn’t angry, or at least apprehensive is just who he is. And the idea that no one sees anything wrong with making him the uneducated poor southerner hurts. Carlisle wouldn’t have been that much more educated either, with his time frame, or Esme, or ALICE. But anyway.

I think I could say a lot more, and if you’d like to continue this conversation, I’d love to!