#honestly i could have done a top 20 list for this

[seiwas]

₊˚⊹｡ 20/20 | oikawa tooru

wc: 931 summary: oikawa finally gets around to doing lasik.  contains: mentions of lasik eye procedure, lots of cheesiness, too sweet!! there are ants!!, vague mentions of ldr in case that’s triggering for anyone! could be read as gn! a/n: super belated birthday post for our july 20 birthday boy! i hc that oikawa’s eyesight is bad and gets worse as he gets older -> why he needs to get lasik done!! i love him!! he’s a big baby!! also inspired by one of the prompts from @/nightprompts's list of prompts here.

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

Oikawa finally gets his Lasik procedure done during one of his off seasons. 

Thank god, because you honestly think it’s been a long time coming. His eyesight from high school has only gotten progressively worse since going pro—contacts drying his eyes out the longer and more intensely he plays. 

There’s a sigh, then, “Wooow,” Oikawa squints, scrunching his nose to form (those cute) little creases near the corners of his eyes. You look at him, concerned, worried that the light is too much for him post-op. “I really can’t see, baby.” 

You’re about to reach for the cap tucked in your bag before he stops you by the wrist, continuing, “You’re blinding me with your pretty.” There’s that (damned) smirk on his face when he says it too—like he’s been preparing for this moment since he finally agreed to getting Lasik. 

Honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if this was the exact reason he finally did decide on pushing through with the procedure.

You remove his fingers from your wrist and hold his hand gently, rolling your eyes as you lead him down the steps of the eye clinic. The corners of your lips curve up, a familiar warmth blooming in your chest. You should be immune to him by now, but your body seems to have a reflex that reacts every time Oikawa tries to make you blush.

He raises a hand to shade his eyes, blinking a few times before fully opening them slowly. And what a sight it is: you, looking up at him from the last step of the stairs, trying hard to hide the smile he knows he’s responsible for. 

“Baby, stop smiling so brightly. I still have light sensitivity.” 

You laugh, the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. He hops down the last step and lands right beside you. 

“How long have you been waiting to use those?” you tug at his hand for him to lean down little, placing the cap you’d fished out from your bag on top of his messy brown hair. 

“As if you don’t like it, meanie.” Oikawa pouts, and his lips jut out ever so slightly to expose light pink. 

You smile even wider, shaking your head as you readjust his cap to settle amidst wavy hair. Your fingers trail down to play with the tips of his ears as they coax him lower for you to land a small peck at the tip of his nose. 

“M’sorry. I like it, Tooru, but I think we should set another doctor’s appointment.” your eyes meet his as you hold back a giggle. He raises his eyebrow, questioning. “I think you might have caught a serious bug–” you pause for emphasis, “–the love bug.” 

There’s a look of disbelief on his face, brown eyes wide and mouth agape. You burst out laughing. 

“You’re even worse than me! And you call me cheesy?!”

You loop your arm around Oikawa’s as you walk to the car, still laughing as he continues to mumble about how you’re seriously starting to take after him. The walk to the car isn’t too far from the clinic entrance, but it takes you a bit longer considering you’re essentially guiding a 6’ 1” pro-athlete densely packed with muscle straight out of his Lasik procedure. 

When you first heard the real reason why Oikawa evaded the procedure for so long, you thought he was joking.

You thought he’d held it off because he was busy, or that he was afraid of the entire thing (if ‘lasik eye surgery procedure video’ in his search history was anything to go by), but nope. Oikawa’s biggest concern was that he wouldn’t be able to clearly see you. For a day, or maybe two—at least until the aftereffects of light sensitivity disappear. He’d shared it to you so shyly, as if he hasn’t already bared to you the contents of his heart (full of volleyball, and friends, but most especially you). 

And it’s cheesy (which isn’t far off from his usual sweet-talking), but it’s true. 

One of the things Oikawa hates the most is missing moments of you—the in-betweens of breakfasts and skincare by the bathroom sink, those long tangents you go on about a dog you’d seen on the street in the middle of recounting your day. Since getting more free time in his career, Oikawa’s always chosen to spend those few extra hours on you. 

It’s hard enough as is, spending half the year communicating through phone screens. To compromise that because he’d be ‘sensitive to light’ or something was enough of a dealbreaker already. 

So here you were, tending to your big baby of a boyfriend who lives half the world away. You really wanted your trip to be a surprise—after all, lining up your holiday with his off season has only happened one other time despite your many years together. 

But if this was the only way to convince your pro-loverboy that he didn’t have to worry about not being able to see you, because you’d be around him anyway, then so be it. Anything for him. 

.

Once Oikawa settles in the car, he’s knocked out, sleeping by the passenger seat as you drive yourselves back to the apartment.

The next few days find you guiding Oikawa around like a baby learning how to walk. He’s constantly stumbling, picking up things he’s not supposed to, and ‘accidentally’ bumping into you any chance he gets. You know he’s exaggerating, but he wouldn’t be your Tooru if he wasn’t, and you love that about him. Fully. Wholly. 

You wouldn’t have him any other way. 

[gothicbarbie]

MY TOP 10 BEST BL COUPLES OF 2023

So I guess I'm a little late considering it's now 2024 in most places, but well, better late than never. I tried and failed to rank top 20 or even 10 kisses... I just couldn't remember them all or even choose... but most of my top couples have some pretty great kisses, so at least there's that! I can, however, rank my favorite BL pairings from 2023, so... let's do it! I will be ranking these from least favorite to favorite because I think it's more fun that way... Also I credited all the gif makers at the bottom but I did list the tumblr user for each specific gif underneath. If someone wants me to remove their gif, please let me know and I will so! I just wanted to pretty up the post a bit.

Also, to clarify, any couple on a show that is currently airing and not complete yet is not eligible to be on the list for 2023. Trust me, there were many I wanted to include!

Honorary Mentions:

Tinn & Gun | My School President

So, spoiler, a different GeminiFourth pairing will be on the actual top 10 so I didn't really want to include both pairings on the list, but I really did love the two of them in My School President. G/F just have such a wonderful and natural chemistry. The way they always look at each other just feels so pure and sweet. I really like pairings where one is secretly pining for the other, but Tinn/Gun also sorta had a hate/love ISH thing going for a little while. The progression of their relationship to actual boyfriends was just so fun to watch and really well done.

Dong Wook & Do Hyun | A Breeze of Love

I watched this BL so quickly that it didn't really resonate with me as well as some other series, which is why these two didn't make the top 10, however, I really enjoyed their relationship on the show. I love hate to love pairings and I found their backstory scenes really sweet as well. I also thought they had a really nice chemistry and there were some strong kissing moments for a kbl.

Jihan & Jaejun | City Boy Log

I didn't include these two on the main list for two reasons, one: the show is not over yet... i don't think? and two: this technically isn't a BL drama? IDK anymore, but regardless I love this series and this couple so dang much! I love the realness of them filming themselves and how their relationship is portrayed so subtly until their feelings just sort of emerge. They have some really wonderful and special scenes or moments together that we don't typically get on other series. I am anxious to see where the rest of the story goes and I hope the actors get another opportunity to work together. The side pairing is great too!

Top 10!

#10. Ai & Songkhram | Destiny Seeker

These two were so damn fun to watch, I really loved the hate to love thing at the start that quickly turned into love (Or I guess always sort of was???). The actors had such a great chemistry together and they had so many fun little moments and bantery scenes together. While the rest of the series felt a little flat for me, their connection continuously kept me interested.

#09. Ze Rui & Zong Yi | Kiseki Dear to Me

Honestly don't even know what to write about these two or how to explain why I like them, because there wasn't anything particularly special about their dynamic that typically draws me in, but I just really enjoyed the actors chemistry together and I really liked the progression of their relationship and how well they meshed together. Their kissing was extremely natural too.

#08. King & Eua | Bed Friend

Firstly, these two are HOT AF, and I really loved the friends with benefits storyline between these two, but more than that, we have a perfect character imo with King, who was continuously there for Eua and always trying to help him and make him understand how much he really cared. The show could be very dark at times but I love that King was always sort of the shining light for Eua.

#07. Segaski & Yoh | My Personal Weatherman

I can admit that the big draw to this show for me originally was the sexy scenes and moments, and while I do think the series could have done with some more scenery changes and better storylines, considering the time frame, I enjoyed watching the relationship between the two characters develop. It's nice to get a friends with benefits type of relationship and see how it progresses into more than that. And for a JBL it was nice to see some high heat with a happy ending.

#06. Su Yu & Wu Bi | Stay With Me

SIGH. THESE TWO. So I mean, I understand the criticism of this show and their relationship. So many things are implied but personally I felt like the end half made it pretty clear that these two were 100% a romantic couple. (just wish it was clarified when that change happened) But the progression of their relationship from hate to love was so beautiful to watch. Even if it was just a friendship it was worth it imo to see how close they got. Fair warning, the finale episode is not the best lmao, but I hope we get a second season to sort of fix it? Fingers crossed on that one.

#05. Wan & Ki Tae | Our Dating Sim

This was definitely one of the cutest BL's of the year and this couple falls into that category well too. I really loved seeing them re-connect. I love that they were old best friends (with feelings) that had a lot of issues to sort through and we saw some adorable flashback scenes as well as current scenes. I also love that they got together and were mostly happy instead of having a lot of intense drama.

#04. Li Ming & Heart | Moonlight Chicken

These two... so much to say about them and yet I don't really know where to start. Gemini and Fourth just work so well together and I felt like this duo was even deeper than in MSP. They started out on bad terms but quickly became close and I really loved the progression of their relationship and then I adored how we also got to see them together as a couple too. My favorite thing about them was how hard Li Ming worked to try to understand Heart and how he learned sign language for him and encouraged him to get to know others like him and to put himself out there. They also had such a fun banter with playful moments and scenes. It was just so damn pure and sweet to watch with no unnecessary or stupid fillery drama.

#03. Jae Won and Ji Hyun | The Eighth Sense

Something about this pairing just felt so much different than the typical KBL pairing. The show itself was so much deeper and had a more serious tone than we typically get, which was amazing. The actors nailed the roles and you could really feel the tension and longing between them right from the beginning. I loved their storyline so much and the actors seemed so comfortable together.

#02. Yamato & Kakeru | I Cannot Reach You

This was one of my favorite BL's of the year and their relationship was a huge part of it. I thought I was more into hate to love, but clearly, based on this list, that isn't always the case. There is something so sweet and adorable about best friends turned to lovers. I really love too when we see one side pining for the other, so this couple was extremely enjoyable to watch!

#01. Chen Yi & Ai Di | Kiseki Dear To Me

Good Lord these two... they had the perfect formula for my favorite type of pairing. Hate to love, drama, tension, angst, one-sided pining... it was so painful to have to wait every week for more. But god, it was worth the wait and their chemistry was just so good, their kisses were phenomenal too. Def. a memorable pair and a show I will be rewatching very soon!

THANK YOU to all these wonderful humans for making the most amazing gifs that I used in this post!

[girlboybug]

California Gurls

"warm, wet n’ wild, there must be something in the water."

or the one where joel hasn't been to california in god knows how long, but, one thing's for certain. he loves, california girls.

what’s playing 🎧 : california gurls by katy perry

pairing : joel miller x cali!girl reader

word count : 2k

CONTENT WARNINGS : SMUTTY HEADCANON LIST, age gap, public sex, light themes of exhibitionism, heavy petting, bikini fetish, is that a thing? it is now. unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampies, oral f!receiving, blowjobs, doggy style, riding, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, switch coded joel and reader, joel still leans towards top/dom, edging, forced orgasms, drunk/high sex

TRIGGER WARNINGS : umm i honestly can't think of any besides sex under the influence of both alcohol and weed but neither joel and reader are sober so its all around consensual as always :) if i missed anything plz lmk!

a/n : hi baes, im sorry that ive been slacking on uploading, ive been a bit burnt out, and i recently just got a job! so i fear my uploading may become more scarce but i will try my best to not let it get too bad.

ive had this au in mind for awhile n thought a headcanon list would b perfect hehe and i might make it a full fic in the future. i have a very special fic im almost done with and then a few more requests, thank u to those patient ppl who requested it, i promise i havent forgotten abt u!!! anyways sorry this is so long kjjdsjhdjsj plz enjoy and if there is anyway i can make my writing more inclusive pleaaase let me know!

joel didn't even want to be in california, but it was on the way to where him and ellie needed to go, and it was supposed to be just them two passing through, nothing less, nothing more.

but then, and of course there's always a but, on the journey both joel and ellie stumble upon a beach.

a beach with you.

culture shock for joel, like immediately. it's almost like the virus never spread to california, specifically their beaches. girls girls girls, all clad in the skimpiest bikinis and swimwear he's seen in years - or ever actually.

ellie convinces him to stay, just for a little while, and of course, he obliges, begrudgingly. the begrudging feeling and furrow in his brows slowly melts away when he's left to unwind in the warm sand, wandering eyes traveling across the beach's very underdressed inhabitants.

he lets ellie play in the water, he's more than content enjoying the view surrounding him in the sand.

you’re quick to notice the newcomers, instantly excited upon meeting new people

you make it real difficult for joel to maintain eye contact while he talks to you, he feels like he needs to physically hold his eyes in place so they don't drift down to the way your tits spill out your bikini top

he can smell the salty water, the semi sweet and unforgettable scent of sunscreen and a hint of coconut on you, and it's honestly mind numbing

and when ellie begs to stay in california for a bit longer than they planned, he surprises both himself and ellie when he jumps to say yes.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

ੈ✩‧₊˚

you make joel never wanna leave california. when it's dark out, with the beach left empty and void of half naked and sunburnt people, it becomes a space for just you and joel.

he loves fucking you right on the sand, loves setting up your bright pink beach towel across the sandy floors just to push your face down onto it, smushing your cheek until your pretty lips pucker and sob his name when he bullies the fat head of his cock into your fluttering hole.

it was so easy getting joel to crack and fuck you, it didn't take much convincing, if anything, it took more convincing on his part to not bend you over upon immediate introductions. but when he finally lets himself have you, it's all he ever wants to do

it was a massive shock that he could keep up with your stamina, he's like what, 56? and you're a 20 something year old full of life and energy and yet he was giving you a run for your money, almost making you tap out when he forces a third orgasm of the night out of you

he loves to drag his tongue across your skin, loves to sink his teeth into the junction of your neck and shoulder when he fucks you from the back, he loves tasting the remnants of the ocean that lingers on your skin

loves to sneak off with you behind the lifeguard tower, and he loves hearing you plead with him to give you some attention.

he loves to make you beg for it. he loves pushing those tiny bikini bottoms that cover not enough, just to lap and lap and lap, at your soaked cunt.

loves to eat it til you cry, he doesn't stop until you have to push him off. he loves it when he gets to flip you on your tummy, he pulls your hips up and buries his face in your pussy, licking you up until your legs shake and can barely keep you upright, but it's okay, he's always there to keep you in place.

you enjoy feeding his ego when you tell him he's the best you've ever had, which isn't a lie

but the way he forces your knees near your ears when you whine about how his cock is the best, and the way he plunges in so deep you can feel him kiss your cervix, makes you feel like you'd say anything else he wanted to hear to get him to keep fucking you like that

sometimes he just can't keep his hands off you, so he'll pull you away to the secluded part of the beach, and make you ride him

oh you love riding him. you like feeling the slight shift in dominance that occurs when you get on top. you love pushing his chest down, letting his back connect to the sand, tons of little grains getting lost in his hair when you keep him down like that, fucking him the way you like, using his fat cock like your personal toy. 

you don’t care about how sensitive he is, you make him take your tight cunt, he's the one that wanted this, so it's only fair he finishes what he started after all.

it's your turn to only get more turned on when you see his pretty brown eyes line with tears when you're fucking him through his second orgasm back to back.

you're insatiable when you're like this, drunk on his cock, and drunk on the power trip of being in control. you’re unable to stop your hips from rocking down onto his, guiding his fingers to your needy clit.

you lower yourself down to his chest, kissing his freckled shoulders, teeth grazing over his collarbones when he's whimpering in your hair, feeling too much everywhere but he doesn't tell you to stop, he takes everything you give him

loves pulling you into his chest when you've ticked him off, he keeps your back to his front, he spreads your legs and keeps them open with his ankle hooking around your's.

his strong bicep, that you love, keeps you in a loose chokehold, his free hand teasing your soaked cunt, bringing you to the edge of release just to rip it away from you. he loves kissing your sunkissed skin, feeling the warmth from being in the sun all day while he whispers for you to, shut the fuck up and behave.

his fingers circle around your clit, switching between that and burying his thick digits in your aching hole, scoffing when you sigh and whimper in relief when he pushes his middle finger in

doesn't let you finish despite your pleas and cries

he's so mean when he's mad at you. :(

he takes your bikini bottoms, pocketing them away and tossing you his flannel if you're gonna complain that much about being bare even though you're practically naked 99% of the time.

you immediately go home, throw his flannel over a pillow and hump it, trying your best to focus on the scent that wafts from his flannel, and lingers on your skin, pretending the friction you felt was from his fingers

you love getting back at joel, like when you're sitting at the tiki bar, and he's trying his best to converse with your friends

you'll snake yourself in his arms, hopping onto his lap while he sits in the barstool, accidentally letting your wet bikini bottoms soak his drying swim trunks

you also unintentionally squirm around in his lap, 'not realizing' you're grinding your ass right on his hardening cock, looking up at him in faux concern when he starts stuttering and stammering mid-convo

he grips your hips, his fingers digging into your warm skin, silently warning you

you don't heed his warnings, naturally, and instead hop off his lap, announcing to the group that you've decided to go for another session in the water, leaving him to awkwardly swivel his barstool away as to not flash his aching erection beneath his swim trunks to all your friends.

of course joel always gets the last word, he's pulling you away from the water, tugging you along with him by the rocks near the shore the furthest from everyone

little girl is gonna learn today, he mutters to himself, and you have to hide your squeals of excitement, knowing he's gonna fuck you stupid

and that he does, he makes you work for your orgasm, and that’s only if he feels nice enough in the moment 

he has you on your knees in front of him while he leans his back against the sturdy surface of a large rock, his hand resting behind your head while he grunts for you to take every inch of him down your throat 

s’what girls like you are good for, i’nt that right baby? 

your cunt flutters at his words, he always makes you tingly from just speaking 

when he’s about to cum he can never decide which is better, seeing your pretty face covered in his seed or watching you swallow it down without a single flinch 

before you, joel hadn’t done anything like this in like, 20+ years, so when you think you’re done, you’re not. 

his cock stays hard sometimes, and he’s more than willing to use you over and over until he’s satisfied, not that you complain, you’re always so pliable and compliant for him. 

he sits you up, pulls you into his lap and makes you put it in, loves watching his fat cock disappear into your greedy cunt, sucking him in and wrapping around him like a tight glove. 

holds your hips down and keeps you in place while he fucks up in to you, tugs your bikini top down and sucks on your chest, tongue messily dragging all along your salty skin, teasing your sensitive nipples with his teeth 

sometimes he’ll play nice, he’ll rub your sweet little clit, cooing and kissing at your neck and cheek when you collapse in his chest, rutting on his cock while he fucks you through your all consuming orgasm. 

buries his face in your neck to breathe in your scent when he’s close, whispers to you if you’ll let him cum inside, and you always say yes 

grunts a few utterances of your name when he cums in you, he slowly fucks his cum inside you, the wet sound from your grinding bodies turns him on more than he can even describe, addicted to how it feels and how it sounds 

loves to slowly pull out, and watch his cum leak from your hole, loves knowing he’s the first and only one, who gets to do that to you. 

and when he’s at your small place, with ellie being at a girl her age’s place for the night, he unwinds in your bed with you, passing a blunt back and forth

you give him sips from whatever fruity alcoholic drink you’ve concocted that night, giggling mid kiss when you taste the mixture of a mango pineapple drink and weed on his tongue 

and he always gets the munchies on nights like this, but not for food

loves devouring your pussy when he’s high, he’ll make his way on top of you, eyes ablaze, mouth parted with low breaths, eyeing you down like you’re his prey 

you try to tease him by closing your legs, but that’s fine, he can work with that

he grabs your ankles, taking them in one big hand, pulling you down towards him before he lifts your legs up by your ankles, smirking to himself when he pushes your panties to the side and dives in tongue first 

he can eat you out for hours, he’s just so hungry, and he can’t get enough of you

and when you’re shaking, trembling, struggling to breathe, he loves watching the violent jerk your body makes when he pushes his cock inside your messy and soaked hole, loves holding you down while you shake beneath him from your burning orgasms you just had back to back 

fucks you nice and slow, wants you to feel every single inch, and every single vein inside of you, wants you to know who’s fucking you this good

and when he can’t hold off on leaving california any longer, he tries to convince you to come with him. and in the time that the pair has stayed in california, ellie has grown to like you, and naturally joins him in his pleas, begging you to come along with them. 

and as much as you want to go along with them, you can't get yourself to leave. california’s your home, and it could be their’s too, you try to tell them, but you both know where the other belongs. 

when he leaves, he kisses you hard enough that you pray it bruises into your lips for the rest of your life. 

you make him promise to try and come by at least every summer, and with a wide smile, he says he can do that. 

[gffa]

Did they at least fix what was wrong with Jason? like did Bruce at least fix what he did to Jason? Like im coming to terms with the fact that Jason as a character is now just a prop to serve Bruce whether to make him look good for saving the streetkid from becoming a Evil Criminal, or to give shock value to readers, or to dispense platitudes about the importance of family and how wonderful Bruce.

and that he will never be allowed to be or do anything good unless is in the service of batman in someway, but at least i need to know that Bruce fixed what he did wrong, and that they didnt just forget about that like the other time Bruce was awful to Jason.

I'm not really aware of them even specifically addressing it outside of maybe The Man Who Stopped Laughing, but like. That's kind of the things comics does, all comics I've read will do this at some point or another. They do over the top ridiculous nonsense and those plot threads often get dropped, I don't think we're meant to take them seriously, just like I don't think we're meant to look at Jason and think of him as the guy who shot an 11 year old child straight through the chest and probably right through his spine, and not forgive him for it. Comics are bonkers and I don't think they're meant to be taken with the seriousness we would of these actions in the real world--otherwise, almost ALL of these people have done things that they could never fix, you know? I don't know where your lines in the sand are, I don't know what you're looking to get out of comics, whether you're here for the canon or you're here for the fandom--and none of that is said with any shade, there's a whole wide variety of reasons to be a fan of something. I can't really give advice here because it's something you have to figure out what you want from comics and what you think they're meant to be might be totally different from what I think they're meant to be. And I'm struggling to word all of this, because I can feel how frustrated you are, how I've been there and felt heartsore about the place my faves occupy in canon, like I was and am a Pietro Maximoff fan in the comics, I have intimately known the pain of a character only being an extension of other characters, being written horribly by those who don't care about him, and desperately holding onto that one run where he was written brilliantly even though it was from 20-30 years ago. Versus that that's just the way comics often are, our faves just are not A-list characters, that comics are on a tiered hierarchy and we have to make our peace with that. Not all of the characters we like are the same ones the company likes or the writers like and that sucks. Whether that means walking away from comics (like I did after Marvel threw the X-Men under the bus for the Avengers in AvX, like I've stopped reading Quicksilver comics because my heart couldn't take it anymore) or just reading comics and then turning to fandom to realize the potential that canon never intended, whatever you need to do to make your peace with how comics operate, that's all any of us can do. I don't know if you're just in need of venting or if this is truly a breaking point for you, but it probably is true to some degree that Jason's always going to be written as an extension of Bruce's character, because Bruce Wayne Sells So Many Comics, of course DC is going to make everyone an extension of him, to some degree or another. (Honestly, right now, I think the only Bat escaping that is Dick and even he is still extremely tied to his relationship with Bruce.) Until those characters sell as many comics as Bruce does, I don't see that changing. All we can do is find the moments of something worth having fun with in the meantime, because comics are not a coherent medium, they are messy and tons of stuff is never addressed on-screen because every writer is coming in with their own agenda and it's pure chaos, and in my experience we just have to find joy in the whirlwind of it all.

[reixtsu]

RANPO WITH AN S/O WHO CAN BAKE REALLY WELL NOT SELF PROJECTING AT ALL HAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA (i deeply apologize for my actions)

Author-kun: It’s not a problem! Thank you so much for requesting! I’m not much of a baker, so I honestly don’t know much about the process. I only know how to make pancakes and waffles (does that even count as baking?). I feel like Ranpo would ultimately love his S/o if they baked well. He’d prioritize them and respect them so highly! I hope you enjoy!

Topic: Ranpo with an S/o who can bake really well

Level: fluff (maybe???)

Headcanons:

Okay, Ranpo will definitely be really excited. This man loves sweets! The glucose is good for his brain!

You either spoil him too much or else he will become all pouty.

While you are baking him a cake or something, he would wrap his arms around your waist while a lollipop is in his mouth.

“Y/nnnn! Are you done yet?”

“Ranpo, it’s almost done.”

“Is it done now?”

“No.”

This would continue for a long time.

Sometimes he’d watch you while you’re baking. It’s honestly very relaxing to him. He likes how focused you look, how well you work with your hands.

He’d make a list of different sweets that he’d want you to make. It is up to you to buy all of the ingredients though. I hope you have a good budget (anything for Ranpo-San, right?).

He’d get jealous when he sees someone other than himself enjoying the baked goods you made. He wants your cooking to be for him only!

Scenario:

“Y/n, it smells good! What are you making?” Ranpo asked in his usual upbeat tone, his head poking into the kitchen of the house you both shared. He walked curiously towards you as you mixed the batter of the soufflé cheesecake.

“Soufflé cheesecake,” you replied, placing the cake batter into a mold and setting it into the oven. You set the oven to 160 degrees celsius for 20 minutes.

Ranpo folded his arms around your waist, letting out a contented sigh. “When will it be ready?”

“In 25 minutes or so,” you said, placing your hands on top of Ranpo’s. “I have to do the dishes now, so let go!”

“No!” Ranpo gasped, holding you closer. You could feel his hot breath tingle near your ears, making you shiver. 

“Oi! Come on Ranpo, we both know that if I don’t do the dishes now, I’d forget and you wouldn’t do them for me.”

“Then so be it. I want cuddles while I’m waiting. I’m bored and tired and I need you next to me while I lay on the couch.”

That made your heart break out of cuteness. This man is so cute when he wants to be. This was one of those moments. You placed your right hand over your mouth, trying your best to prevent an “Aw” sound from coming out. The corner of your lips turned up as you sigh.

“Okay, let’s cuddle.”

“Yay!” Ranpo cheered, turning your round to face him. He cupped your cheeks an gave your forehead a kiss.

“Haaah… I love you.”

“I know,” Ranpo smirked, dragging you out of the kitchen and into the living room where the couch awaited. “I knew for a long time. I love you too.”

[alliaskisthepossibilityoflove]

20 questions for fic writers podficcers

Thank you for the tag @diazsdimples, @underwaterninja13, @aroeddiediaz❣️ (obviously I'm no writer so I'll be putting my own spin on the questions)

How many works do you have on ao3?

19, which sounds like a made up number given that I only posted my first podfic in July 2023

What's your total ao3 word count?

404 words 🤣 but that's podfic for you. My total run time is roughly 8 hours and 10 minutes

What fandoms do you write record for?

Mostly 9-1-1, but I also have a podfic of an amazing Lucifer story.

Top 5 podfics by kudos:

[podfic] do you love me? all you gotta do is say yes written by fleetinghearts

[podfic] wedding bells written by renecdote

[podfic] Blame It On the Alcohol/Halloween Candy/Mistletoe/Etc. written by HMSLusitania

[podfic] might as well be drunk in love written by fleetinghearts

[Podfic] Hot Potato written by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Do you respond to comments?

I do

What is the fic you wrote recorded with the angstiest ending?

I don't really do angsty endings, I don't like listening to them, so I don't record them either 🤷‍♀️

What's the fic you wrote recorded with the happiest ending?

goodness. All of them? Perhaps Coffee in bed (written by trysetmeonfire) which is about Chris giving Buck a father's day present? Or i have dreams where i kiss you and it’s pink (written by fleetinghearts) with Buck in the pink princess dress? Those two are I think the sweetest for entirely different reasons 😘 But honestly most of them because i love friends to fiancés and bedsharing and idiots to lovers, just happy happy stories 😁

Do you get hate on fics?

Everyone has been very sweet so far 😊

Do you write record smut?

Sooooo my first two podfics were two of letmetellyouaboutmyfeels's monsterfucking stories.... 😙😇

Craziest crossover?

I haven't done any crossovers

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I really really hope not and I keep my podfics locked to registered users because I don't want my voice to be scraped for/by AI

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd love it if someone wanted to record the stories I've already done, so that I could listen to their version, too!

Have you co-written co-recorded a fic before?

not yet

All time favorite ship?

Buddie ❤️. And Fitzwilliam Darcy/Elizabeth Bennett ❤️

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm planning on finishing all my wips but man, bucket list!Buck is taking a lot longer break than I expected right now between various sicknesses and injuries 🫣

What are your writing voice-acting strengths?

I think my pacing is usually pretty good? At least I like listening to myself 🙃 and I like to think I can do feelings pretty well

What are your writing voice-acting weaknesses?

voices, accents and smut

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

English is my L2 so all my recording is "in another language", I hope I could do passable French, Spanish if it were more than a word or two I'd definitely be asking a friend to check my pronunciation

First fandom you wrote podficced in?

9-1-1 😍

Favorite fic you've written recorded?

[podfic] might as well be drunk in love. I love this story and I honestly love the way I recorded it.

tagging (if you'd like) writers and podficcers alike:

@shitouttabuck, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @renecdote, @hmslusitania

@rhea314, @gracieryder, @blackestglass, @try-set-me-on-fire, @mayonnaisetoffees

@thewollfgang, @bucksbignaturals, @eddiegettingshot, @rainbow-nerdss

@cal-daisies-and-briars, @athenagranted, @daffi-990, @lover-of-mine

[nobodysdaydreams]

20 Questions for Writers

@myfairkatiecat Thanks for the tag, sorry this took so long. (@sophieswundergarten thanks for the reminder 💕)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

8 so far. It's not a lot, but I make up for it in length.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

417,645 💀

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Exclusively tmbs so far, but I plan on doing some Wolf359 fics when I (finally) finish the podcast. Sadly all my ideas are long. I'm sorry.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Since I have so few fics I'll just give the list:

S.O.S., by a lot. I'd like to thank the show's cancellation for my unexpected success.

The Oldest Siblings , mainly due to it's association with SOS (it's the prequel in the series)

Treat Them With(out) Mercy

Who You Were Meant To Be

A Joy To Obey and It Should Have Been Us are tied

The Boys Who Waited

Sirens of the Sea and Sky: dead last with 3 modest kudos. This fic is the equivalent of having a kid in a school recital who screams the whole time and knocks down the set. He might be a disaster, but he's my kid and I'm proud. This fic is ridiculous, but it makes me laugh anyway. I don't know how burnt out finals Bods came up with this, but by golly...she did.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Of course! I think I've responded to every comment I've ever gotten (if not I'm so sorry please let me know). I appreciate every one of them, and I love talking about the ideas in my idea and the fics I write, so please know that every comment you leave totally brightens my day! 🥰

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm. Right now "The Boys Who Waited" probably has the angstiest and most ominous ending, but we'll see what happens.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably "A Joy To Obey" since it's my main fluff fic with a nice ending. A great read if you like lighter stuff.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not yet. If I did, I'm not even sure what I'd do. Depends on the hate. I might cry. I might laugh, honestly. I don't think I'm nearly important, good, or noticeable enough for that so I might be a little flattered ngl (unless it was something vulgar or hateful towards a certain group of people then I'd delete and block the person). I'm sure people have read my writing and not liked it, but I think they just click away.

9. Do you write smut?

No, that's not for me. Especially because I'm writing for a children's fandom, I just don't think that's appropriate.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, but I've done some AU's on tumblr.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Also this is a small fandom so if a fic of mine DID get stolen, it would be pretty awkward and obvious. Don't plagiarize kids.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd be honored if anyone wanted to do that!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but that could be fun!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Why the MV Shortcut, of course! /jk

I don't really have a lot of ships I get super invested in, I prefer platonic relationships. If I think of one I'll let you guys know.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

You'll find out. (Don't worry about SOS. I promised I'd finish it and I intend to keep my word).

16. What are your writing strengths?

According to my readers, dialogue, characterization, themes, weaving multiple storylines together, and plot twists.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I can't write a short fic to save my life, and I can't edit to save my life. I also just publish my first drafts because I have no impulse control (sorry).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Funny enough I’ve done this, but only canon MBS dialogue where I've translated it directly from the show's subtitles. If I made an error, please let me know.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Mbs, and so far just mbs. Hoping to expand someday when I magically have more time (and finish Wolf359).

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

SOS, just because of what a fun journey it's been.

Tags: @phtalogreenpoison @oflightningandstars @mvshortcut @sqenthusiast @itsgoghtime @amphibious-entity @mysteriouseggsbenedict and anyone who hasn't been tagged yet but wants to do it (sorry if I accidently double tagged)

[sitp-recs]

Dronarry Fest - 5 fics I loved

Finally done with my @dronarryfest marathon and oh boy, what a ride it was! Lots of brilliant characterization, excellent UST, top gardening aesthetics, possessive sharing galore, mouth watering smut - 20 tasty gems across different tropes and genres! I’m beyond impressed with the fest’s quality, found some instant favorites that will certainly feature in my end of the year wrap up list, and am very excited to share them below with you. I can’t wait for reveals so I can properly shower these authors with love. We still have a couple days before it so go feast and make sure to leave kudos + comments at your heart’s content. You can (and should!) read the full catalogue here. Enjoy!

🤐 All the good things and the bad things that may be by @maesterchill (M, 5.7k) - hilarious and sweet, truth serum confessions, hung!Ron cause that’s the gospel truth, pre Dronarry and a phenomenal Draco making an appearance at the end. This is your obligatory no-angst pit stop to make your Monday better!

The one where Harry and Ron are forced to talk to each other loudly and honestly about their sex lives for The Greater Good. Or at least for the thwarting of evil.

🧪 Let Be, Let Be by @tackytigerfic (M, 10k) - VEELA Ron!!!!! That’s all, that’s why you should go read this right away. And also for this delicious established Drarry, protective/possessive Ron, competent Healer Draco, hurt Harry being loved and cared for as he deserves, and a sexy get together so full of tenderness and understanding👌🏼

Ron's never had a place to really call his own, so when the deeds to an ancient magical house in Bulgaria appear in his Gringotts vault, he ropes in his Curse-Breaker best friend (and his Curse-Breaker best friend's Field Healer boyfriend) to come and check the place out with him. What he doesn't expect is wanton destruction, a Veela transformation, and the need for some serious conversations between friends. And whoever said Draco Malfoy was bad at sharing?!

🌸 Trillium by @wolfpants (E, 13k) - gardener Harry owns my heart! I immediately fell in love with this sweet pining Ron lusting after sneaky boyfriends Drarry; lots of ogling and dancing around each other with tender brOTP moments and the softest cottagecore vibes you’ll see today

Harry and Draco are shagging. Ron’s got a hunch, and the only way to find out is to volunteer his services alongside Harry’s in the Big Malfoy Manor Cleanup of 2010. What could possibly go wrong? The one where Harry owns a gardening business, Draco is an aspiring National Trust property owner, and Ron is far too invested in the fit of Draco’s lovely clothes and the smell of Harry’s hair. But he doesn’t fancy them or anything like that.

🐉 The Sun, Shining Above You by @oknowkiss (E, 14.5k) - poly established Drarry ftw and a brilliant flashback that will def make you ship Dron like there’s no tomorrow, my heart was in my mouth waiting for their reunion. I’m very much here for dragontamers orgy shenanigans and sneaky sex at the Burrow, and if you’re a hoe for soft pining Draco and past Drarry + Charlie then run don’t walk towards this one!

Since joining up with the dragontamers, Draco counts his days in nights. Nights spent drinking in the commune mess, making poor choices he doesn't regret, for once. Nights he doesn't remember, and nights he wishes he could stop remembering. Then there's that night in Spain, caught in the circle of Ron's arms. A year of nights in Norway, caught in the heat of Harry's gaze. His first night at the Burrow, caught in between them both.

🪴 Silhouettes by @sweet-s0rr0w (E, 16.7k) - one of my favourite fics of the year with heartbreaking sentient Burrow, established Rarry, exquisite POV multiple narrative, more gardening aesthetics and hands down the hottest UST and threesome sex you’ll see today. This grieving and perceptive Ron is a triumph, everyone else can go home

Draco's trying to fix the Burrow, Ron's trying to grieve, and Harry... well, just what is Harry actually doing, anyway? A tale of grief, gardening, and ghouls, bad memories, bad puns, and bad flirting, and nudity both accidental and very, very deliberate. Cw: minor character death.

[halliescomut]

Thai BL: The Fanservice Problem...

Now here's the thing... I'm not here to offer solutions, though I do have proposed ideas that I may include at the end, but more just to breakdown my thoughts on fanservice in Thai BL.

First, we'll start with a general definition of fanservice:

I think that the connection to print media originally is important when we're looking at modern BLs series and movies, as they have a base in print media. In Thailand you have niyaai waai (“Y” novels), kaatuun waai (“Y” comics), as well as the Japanese Yaoi Manga and Korean BL Manwha that are very literally the basis for numerous series, in addition to original story BL series.

In terms of the fanservice we see in relation to Thai BLs...that goes a step further, moving out of the fictional world and into the real one. The fanservice we're now talking about is actors whose characters are couples often being paired for promotional events and they are expected to on some level act similarly to their onscreen characters. This includes individual character behavior, but also having the two actors behave in a way that could be (and is intended to be) read as romantic by fans. This includes a lot of different actions, but skinship (which I'll breakdown later), general chivalrous behavior (like serving your partner first), going on 'dates' specifically with the intention of presenting those experiences on social media. The important part about fanservice in this context is that it is always done with the intention of being seen by fans. It doesn't matter if it's a publicly streamed and hosted event, or just an Instagram post, if it's made public by the actor, or their company, it's intentional and it's likely fanservice.

What is the purpose of fanservice then?

Profit, essentially. For these companies, who both produce BL, but also often represent these actors as a talent management agency, there's a profit to be increased by presenting actors in this way. Having these 'couples' become popular to fans means continued view of future series, but also means that they can set contracts to have them promote various products. You will see the actors often promoting the same products that are used in product placement in their series. A brief list off the top of my head: the Lays chips, whatever that flavored water or juice they're always drinking in Wabi Sabi shows, Epson printers (I think it's Epson), various skin-care serums, L'Oreal hair color, the menthol inhalers, the list is likely endless. In the series, product placement gives them direct funds to actually make the shows, but by having the actors promote the same products, these companies are getting a percentage of that payment also because they are also working as representation for the actor.

To make easy numbers, while Gemini's contract might have been $1000 for this post promoting this brand of Ramen, because GMMTV set-up that partnership/contract, and they represent Gemini as talent, they'll get $200 for themselves, Gemini takes home $800 minus taxes. Again, these are made up numbers and I truly hope that no one is actually getting a 20% commission, but I trust none of these companies, so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it was higher.

But because this is genuinely how a good majority of production companies gather capital to be able to make shows, the more popular a ship is can directly equal out to how many ad partnerships they can create for them, as well as the price they can charge. In order to give an approximate view, I chose two actors from the same company, Domundi's Zeepruk and Tutor. Because of Zee's vastly higher popularity and the wide difference in follower counts I wanted to have a third actor for comparison, and so I chose PP Krit. It's not an exact match across the board, but I think gives a good view of scale. Here is the break down of their last 30 Instagram posts:

Now I'll start with some definitions of how I categorized things. Ads are things that have clearly been shot specifically to promote a product, and often have instructions in the captions on where to purchase, or specific benefits about the products. Sponsored posts are any posts where they tag a brand in the caption, but it doesn't have the detail of the Ad posts, or posts of them at a place or event where they were invited to attend by the brand for the purpose of being photographed there. Self-promotion is trailers, photos from their series, or fan events. And finally candid is any pictures that are just there for the fun, thirst traps, vacation pics, pics from behind the scenes of events, and while few of these are actual 'candid' pictures, they're not for the purpose of promoting a 'brand' in particular (outside of the fact they are all clearly intend to promote the 'brand' of the actor). The Couple+ 'whatever' is the same as listed above, but is for any posts that include the other half of their acting pair (meaning Yim, Nunew, and Billkin). The Couples Candid is only found once on a post from Tutor, and is clearly taken when they were filming their Tiktok BL short, but there's no tags for the short series, nor instructions on where to watch it, so I'm calling it a candid post. For PP Krit, there are two posts that I'm categorizing as 'Self-Sponsored' as one is for PP's own brand (Caremate) and the other is for a Car Repair shop owned by a family member. Later when I do math with this information those posts won't be included in the 'potential profit' as I can't guarantee he was paid, and if he was I doubt he charged his standard rate.

Looking at Tutor 7/30 of his latest Instagram posts are ads/sponsored and 5 of the posts are 'couple' posts, meaning they also feature Yim. For Zee 10/30 are sponsored and 5 of those are 'couple' posts also featuring Nunew. It's also relevant that the earliest post I counted of Zee is from April 8, 2023, for PP is April 6, 2023, and the earliest one from Tutor is from December 6, 2022. Given that we have about 30 posts from Zee in 2 months, I'm simply not going to scroll back to December to see what the comparison is time wise, but if the ratio remained the same 10/30 in 2 months, that would equal 30/90 over 6 months, with 15 being 'couple posts'. So you can see the difference made in terms of money brought in by more 'popular' actors. If we stick with our $ 1000 per post cost for individual posts, and double that for 'couple posts' ($ 1000/per actor) that's $ 45,000.00 total brought in and $ 9,000 kept by Domundi as commission. For Tutor, in the same 6 month span, he (and partially Yim) brought in $ 12,000, with Domundi keeping $ 2,400 as commission. That's a marked difference for Domundi. And completely ignoring the very high likelihood that Zee is probably bringing in 2 to 3 times what Tutor his because of his popularity and longer time in the industry. If we look at those same number with PP, he has 15/30 posts that are Ad/Sponsored, at $ 1000 per post that's $ 15,000 directly in PP's pocket essentially, since he has his own independent company that represents him. Which causes it's own complications, as he has many more sponsored and ad posts on his company account, many of which he also appears in with Billkin. (Sidenote: I actually find it fascinating that there's no sponsored/ad posts featuring Billkin on his personal account, in fact it's surprisingly rare for him to post Billkin on his account at all outside of stories, at least recently.) So all of this to say, you can see how having these actors promoted in pairs is more profitable for the company as far as ad promotion.

The additional benefit is we're looking at is fans being able to follow pairs through different stories. Like many fans of media, we will often find actors we enjoy, and then proceed to actively work to watch different projects they are in because we like them, find them to be incredibly talented, think they're handsome, etc. This general expectation is capitalized on by companies by having pairs act opposite each other in multiple stories. At this point for ZeeNunew and TutorYim, we've seen both in the Cutie Pie series, but both also have future work to look forward to. I've previously mentioned the BL Tiktok shorts with TutorYim, and they are going to be the leads in Middleman's Love, which is due to come out at the end of the year. ZeeNunew have a new film, After Sundown, as well as new series The Next Prince, and will be returning as Lian and Kuea in Naughty Babe as second leads. All of these future shows and series are produced by Domundi, meaning they will get a portion of profits from appearances, merchandise, etc. that goes along with those series, as well as the potential ads or product placement in the shows. There’s also a high likelihood that product placement in Naughty Babe will garner a higher price, as it’s a spin-off of an already popular show with already popular actors, where Middleman’s Love, as the first series showing Tutor and Yim as leads, would be ‘cheaper’.

Fanservice as perceived by Fans

Now this can be difficult to break down, because it all depends on the fan. Fanservice as a concept is widely understood by Thai fans. They actively recognize that it exists, and they enjoy it. Other East Asian countries also recognize that Thai BL employs fanservice, and while they accept and enjoy it, they generally do not want to see the practice taken up by BL actors in their own country. In fact, it’s generally rare for actors in BL series in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, etc., to have actors paired for multiple series, outside of appearing as the same characters over various series. The first to come to mind is the characters of Bo Xiang and Zhi Gang from HIStory 3 having in a small guest appearance in HIStory 4, played by the same actors, Wilson Liu and Zhang Han Yuan. Because they are rarely kept as an acting pair, fanservice outside of the actual scripted media is not expected and would have little benefit.

Moving away from East Asian, very particularly to Western, audiences where fanservice is something that many media consumers ONLY expect to see in the media itself, never outside of it. Speaking as a western fan myself, I was genuinely surprised at the amount of ‘bonus content’ that is the expected norm with Thai BL’s. The fan meets, sponsored events, concerts, the vlogs and excursions, the behind-the-scenes content, all of it is generally beyond what I am used to as an avid media fan. Director/or actor commentary, behind the scenes documentaries, while popular generally fell out of favor with the decrease in popularity of physical DVDs, as it was originally intended to be a selling point of purchasing DVDs instead of VHS. (But honestly, that’s a different post.)  And observing the behavior as someone with the perspective of a western fan, it is both the requisite behaviors of fanservice, as well as the difference in cultural norms, that causes confusion and blurs lines. The number one thing that is seen as surprising by western fans of East Asian media, is skinship, particularly skinship between two men.

The concept of skinship isn’t directly unfamiliar to western people but is generally something that occurs between direct family members (parent-child or siblings) or between romantic couples. In East Asian culture it’s moves beyond familial and romantic bonds to include all platonic bonds as well. You can expect to see skinship practiced between any two people who are close and feel affection for each other. So, in the context of fanservice and Thai BL acting pairs, not every occurrence of skinship (hugs, holding hands, sitting especially close, playing with hair, fingers, etc.) is fanservice, but it is a tool in the fanservice armory. Given that it is a cultural norm, and that many of these actors are at least well known to each other and friendly, it is likely an easy one to enact in the name of fanservice.

Watching these interactions through a western lens however, causes the viewer to more easily see the behavior in a romantic context. And there’s honestly a lot of factors that play into that, the biggest being ‘masculinity ideals’ where most western cultures don’t promote or encourage men to show affection outside of family (generally strictly parents or children) or romantic couples. Then you also have good ol’ homophobia, men don’t want to show too much affection towards other men for fear of being seen as gay. And this is a very broad sort of description, as the ‘norms’ for what is acceptable platonic contact will of course differ in immigrant families, or indigenous communities, or among black Americans, even just geographically. I’m just a white person speaking from their own experience and observation, though I do have the benefit of knowing, working with, and interacting with a remarkably wide variety of humans.

Why is Fanservice a ‘Problem’?

If it’s widely understood that fanservice is an extension of the acting, that it’s very often something required by contract, that it’s not an indicator of a romantic or sexual relationship, then it’s not a problem. But that’s not widely understood. And that lack of understanding or even the preference of fans to ignore that knowledge has created a problem in the Thai BL industry. We’ve watched over the last several months personal attacks on actors for ‘queerbaiting’ (which is a term intended ONLY for fictional characters), fan clubs being upset over actors going to appearances alone or without the other half of their acting pair, personal attacks on close friends of actors (very particularly female friends), and even the attacking of an employee and friend of an actor for ‘pushing the fanservice agenda’. What is intended to be cute and fun, is turning into something that is having real life negative effects, both on the actors themselves, but also people connected to these actors. It’s also spreading beyond Thai BL, with fans (mostly western fans) being upset at non-Thai actors for not engaging in fanservice.

Fanservice, by virtue of it being monetizable, also indirectly exploits the Queer community. This is something that’s recognized and often brought up by western fans, as culturally, we’ve reached a point where the expectation is that Queer media will cast Queer actors in roles. This is done specifically in an attempt to help Queer actors to get more roles in the entertainment industry in general (which is a worthy goal) but is also only considered in the context that while being an out Queer person in the West is easier/safer than in many other places around the world. Many Western nations have not only marriage equality, but anti-discrimination laws that give additional protection to Queer people. And even with these laws there are still hundreds of thousands of Queer people who don’t feel comfortable being openly out in all aspects of their lives. In many East Asian countries, legal protection against discrimination is not guaranteed, and even in those countries with anti-discrimination laws, there’s often caveats. And that’s completely setting aside societal discrimination, which would be a top concern for these actors. Taking Thailand specifically, homosexuality isn’t illegal, but there are no laws in place for marriage equality or even the recognition of same-sex relationships. While there are anti-discrimination laws in place, those rest on the ability of a Queer person to PROVE discrimination, which opens its own can of worms.

So, what I’m saying in regard to monetizing or exploiting the Queer community, is that it is understandably frustrating for actual Queer people in Thailand to see actors ‘performing’ queerness through fanservice, and being rewarded for it, while many regular citizens are living in situations where being out could be damaging to their livelihoods, cause loss of friendships or family relationships, and even put them in physical danger. Now, are some of these actors part of the Queer community? We know for certain that some are, we know for certain that some aren’t, but the vast majority we don’t have any concrete knowledge of their sexuality or Queer identity (and we are NOT entitled to it!).  But it would be understandable and reasonable, given the current political and societal landscape of many of these countries, that any actor would have to very seriously consider potential ramifications of being out. Like any Queer person anywhere, there’s a laundry list of considerations that have to be addressed. Top of the list is ‘Would I be physically safe if I came out?’ but you also have to consider possible negative effects on your career, the potential limitations if you want to move outside of BL to mainstream content. We also have VERY clear examples of societal discrimination and hatred towards openly Queer actors, both from ‘local’ fans as well as international fans. But we do very often see BL actors being openly supportive of their local Queer community, promoting proactive voting in elections, and even this past week making appearances at PRIDE events. This is in addition to potential work they are doing quietly to support the community, like donating to non-profits that work to assist or advocate for Queer people, both individually and as a whole.

So, What’s the Solution?

I have no idea. I stated in the very beginning that I’m not here to give solutions. (That’s above my pay-grade.) But I do have some ideas. Now, these are not going to be the easiest for many BL fans to hear, I’m sure. They bother me too, to be honest.

I think an excellent first step is to have companies be upfront about whether fanservice is part of actor’s contracts. We know for a fact that BOC does not contractually obligate fanservice, but any other production or management company that works in BL more than likely does, though the scale and level of expectation may vary. I don’t 100% know if this would actively work, at least initially, because the actors themselves are aware that fanservice can help to raise their popularity, which enables them to be contracted for ads, sponsored social media posts, and appearances, which is how most of these actors make the majority of their money, NOT through the pay they receive for their actual acting work. So, they may perform fanservice as it’s currently known even if it’s not contractually required, but I do at least prefer the actors being in control of the level of fanservice they take part in, if any.

A second step, or option, is to have companies not solely send actors to events in their ‘pairs,’ and not keep them in the same pair for multiple series. I think if a company took the step and intentionally mixed up their ‘pairings’, specifically those from lead roles, then we would see less direct attachment to the ‘pairs’ and more to the actors as individuals. This could help in the long term prevent the fallout we’ve recently seen from acting pairs “breaking up,” very specifically the hateful attacks we’ve seen directed at the separate parties. But I think it could also prevent the fans from ‘choosing sides’ as I’ve also been seeing frequently in online BL spaces. In other direct online discussions, I’ve likened it to having a friend couple break up, and all of the other friends in the group essentially have to pick a side. Sometimes, you knew one person before they were a couple, and you stick with them. On occasion, one of the people will have done something terrible, and even if you knew them first, you stick with the other person. But often these are people who became your friend already a couple, and neither really did anything wrong, they just grew apart…so is it right to throw one aside in favor of the other?? Or is it more reasonable and realistic to maintain friendships with both separately? In a similar fashion, when BL pairs go their separate ways, isn’t it more reasonable to continue to follow them separately, assuming you find them both to be equally talented, versus putting one aside?

As a supplement to my suggestion of not maintaining static pairings I made this lil picker wheel with the actors at GMMTV...

…to be honest I’m quite intrigued by the idea of First and Gun. Both are phenomenal actors. I can picture the vibe of a potential story, based mostly on my desire to see Gun as a homme-fatale. PICTURE IT: Gun is a sultry assassin, beautiful and deadly, First is the ever-weary federal agent on his tail…but he begins to find an interesting connection amongst Gun’s ‘victims’, they’re all users and abusers, arguably far more detrimental to society than Gun himself. As he tracks down Gun and learns more about him…he begins to fall for him. In the end…does he stay true to the commitments he made to his country, or does he breaks those promises in favor of following his heart??

Anyway...this was 3,500 words. Hopefully some of them made sense. PLEASE share your thoughts, if you have any on this subject. I'd be especially interested if you are outside of the US.

[mllekurtz]

shadowgast wip rec list part 4

(part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 3.5 - part 4 - part 4.5)

It's been a while since I've done a rec list of work-in-progress shadowgast fics, so here's a curated selection from my Subscriptions page (under a cut because there's a lot of 'em).

All of these works, listed in no particular order, are wips that have been updated recently or semi-recently, and have the only common denominator of being liked by yours truly. Feel free to reblog and add your recs (or better yet, make a rec list of your own! They're fun and make the day of everyone involved).

It goes without saying that these works are active wips at the moment of posting this list. Past lists may contain works that have been completed or abandoned since.

Lastly, a shoutout to @aeor-is-for-reccing and their weekly rec lists, which inspired me to put together a new one ♥ check them out for more recs!

zwiefacher (15/20 chapters, E, warnings: CNTW & Rape/Noncon) by VillainIHaveDoneThyMother/@villainihavedonethymotheronao3 - this fic juggles so many plates (t4t shadowgast, memory loss, extreme trauma, kidnapping, gaslighting, even more trauma, systemic racism, and lots of other fun things I'm forgetting) and does it incredibly well. Not a light reading, but if you want something substantial to sink your teeth in, I can't recommend this enough.

You Be You, And I’ll Be Busy (3/10 chapters, T, warnings: CNTW) by theprophetlemonade/@the-prophet-lemonade - top notch characterisation of both of them (but I'm especially in love with Essek's). The sexual, romantic and just plain tension are well executed, and while all the fics listed here are outstanding for their style and prose, this one is truly no exception.

Unfinished (5/? chapters, E, warnings: CNTW) by road_rhythm/@road-rhythm - read this with a notebook, some red string and a cork board. Roadie is so good at taking a premise and building a life-like, in-depth story around (under, over, beside, inside) it; both the prose and the content are sharp and unforgiving. And I know we're here for shadowgast, but this fic's Beau is the best.

Love Letters to Toss Into the Fire (10/? chapters, T, no warnings) by Anonymous - props to this fic not only for the excellent premise (Caleb and Essek secretly write letters to each other) but for keeping it up for so long while always making it interesting. The ciphers, spells, devices and tricks they use to send each other letters are always different, interesting and believable, and the relationship between the wizards grows in a delicate, emotional way.

The Chosen AU (18/? chapters, E, warnings: CNTW) by Anonymous - not a purely shadowgast fic since it starts as Verin/Essek, as in sibling incest, with Caleb joining their relationship later, so if that's not for you be warned (but honestly the relationship between the Thelyss brothers is wholesome and well-handled, so if you're on the fence because of that, you should definitely give this fic a try). When this fic goes dark, it goes dark; when it's lighthearted, it's deeply funny and sweet. Come for the blorbos, stay for the lovely OCs, the engaging subplots, the fleshed-out world-building, the very effective non-linear narrative and just an all-around riveting story that kept me glued to my kindle for a whole weekend as I was catching up with it.

all this, heaven never could describe (10/28 chapters, M, no warnings) by kaeda/@the-kaedageist - a sequel to the delightful More Things in Heaven and Earth, which you should definitely read (to understand this fic but also because, as I said, it's a joy to read), it follows the adventures of Alternate!Bren and Essek as they try to put their own version of the Mighty Nein together. The shadowgast dynamic in this one is juicy and fun and unlike anything you've ever read: they're competitive, they sleep together, they annoy each other, they're so obviously in love.

if you must live, darling one (3/11 chapters, M, no warnings) by essektheylyss (midnightindigo)/@essektheylyss - Megs is one of the (many!) writers in this fandom who are really good at conveying demisexual feelings in a way that's believable both for Essek's character and the demi audience, at least in my experience. This fic is very interesting in that regard.

Kintsugi (15/? chapters, M, warnings: Major Character Death) by Chekhov/@thechekhov - first of all, the major character death is temporary and integral to the foundational concept of the fic, which is brilliant; yes, there is a lot of heartache in this one, but the payoff is entirely worth it. You'll find Chekhov's trademark brilliant, clever, polished style in a story that doesn't pull any punches and will make you cry and crave for more after each update.

the fugitive's version of shelter (5/6 chapters, E, no warnings) by hanap/@callingvoicemail - the latest instalment in the here is a world where you love your executioner series, which is partly a retelling of the second half of campaign 2, partly set post-canon, with the variable of Essek being pregnant with Ludinus' child. The whole series is recommended, as well as necessary reading to appreciate this one; it's an original take on a will-they/won't-they dynamic that makes for some deliciously complicated shadowgast.

Hold Me Close, Cut Me Deep (1/4 chapters, M, no warnings) by CatgirlTheCrazy/@catgirlthecrazy - this fic is effectively summarised as "Essek has his own light 'em up, pretty moment." Do I need to say anything else?

presque vu (13/?, T, no warnings) by element78 - (also known as the fic that kept me sane while I was in work hell last summer) Caleb suffers from memory loss for mysterious reasons and doesn't remember being friends with the Nein or being in a relationship with Essek; the fic starts with an amnesiac Bren waking up and then proceeds with a slow, painstaking rebuilding of trust and relationships. The memory loss plot device coupled with Bren/Caleb's pov is great for narrative irony, the shadowgast dynamic is heart-rending, and everyone cares about each other so much (well, maybe not Kingsley, but he has his reasons).

The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings (8/?, M, warnings: CNTW) by Sethrial/@rockshitty - I always love a good modern AU, and this is an excellent one with a supernatural twist. Seth is really good at including heavy plot points with the right dose of dark humour, and at writing realistic banter (the chats between Caleb's colleagues are a highlight). Being the demon that haunts night-shift worker Caleb, Molly features heavily in this fic, and he's an obnoxious, mephistophelian delight.

[fantasticstoryteller]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag, @leatafandom! All right, here we go!

How many works do you have on AO3? 97, as of answering this.

What's your total AO3 word count? Uhm, *checks notes* a lot. My total word count is a lot.

What Fandoms do you write for? Well, I write for Spider-Man, Deadpool, Batman, and Danny Phantom mostly.

What are your top five by kudos? Won't Be Slain Here, New Amsterdam, Tales of the Glories, Finding the Lost, and A Safe Place.

Do you respond to comments? I do, but only when I've just posted something. Whether that's another chapter or a one-shot, I wait until I've posted something to respond. (So if it takes a while for me to respond to a comment, that's why.)

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? That would have to be If Only In My Dreams. Or maybe Dance 'Till You're Dead. Eh, it's a toss up between those two.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Eh--most of them? I like to think most of my endings are happy, or at least bittersweet.

Do you get hate on fics? I haven't. Mostly my audience has been pretty nice in their comments.

Do you write smut? Pardon my uncontrollable laughter at the thought of me actually managing to write a smut scene.

Do you write crossovers? I mean, almost all my fics are crossovers of some kind. Crossover between Deadpool and Spider-Man, crossover between Danny Phantom and Batman--it would be faster to list the ones that aren't.

What's the craziest one you've written? Okay, Imma need a definition on "crazy," because these are comic book/cartoon worlds with that kind of logic and I'm honestly not sure where the "crazy meter" is.

Have you ever had a fic translated? I've had people ask if it's okay to translate my fics, and I've said "Yes" (anyone reading this, it is ALWAYS okay to translate my stuff), but I've never been linked so I don't know if it was actually translated or if the person asking bit off more than they could chew. (Happens.)

Have you ever co-written a fic before? My friend, I am a terrible collab partner. Everyone who has ever collaborated with me will tell you.

What's your all time favorite ship? Why do I have to pick just one?

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? *sips tea*

What are your writing strengths? Small, soft scenes where characters are just bonding. (Although I've been told my angst is very well done.)

What are your writing weaknesses? Fight scenes. My fight scenes are just terrible. I avoid them like the plague. (Which is not easy in my fandoms!)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I will not do it. I will write something along the lines of "so and so spoke Russian" or "(character) didn't understand the language being spoken," or I'll put brackets around the other language as a clue to readers that there is another language, but I only fluently speak one language and I do not trust Google Translate.

First Fandom you wrote for? The first ever fandom I wrote for was Sailor Moon, and that was on the Neopet Message boards way back when which means no one can bring them up as examples of how cringe my writing is.

Favorite fic you've written? Again, how can I pick just one?

Once again, thanks for the tag! This was a lot of fun!

No pressure tags! @deniigi, @the-stove-is-on-fire, @thekenwick, @writerwhat

[ussjellyfish]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you, @mylittleredgirl for tagging me! Have I done this...perhaps. Will do it again! It might also be new? the questions are fun.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

423

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

2,817,922 (hitting 3 million should be fun). I average 6661 words (ha) per fic. Which is interesting. I have 43 drabbles and 7 fics over 100,000 words so they must even out.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Once Upon a Time (though not for years). Star Trek the Next Generation, Star Trek Voyager, Star Trek Discovery. Stargate Atlantis and Agents of SHIELD. many other things, but not a lot of fics. (12 or less).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Stray Feathers and Scales (Emma Swan/Regina Mills, Once Upon a Time) I almost listed this one as Maleficent/Regina, which it isn't..kind of is, could have been poly if I'd thought about). This fic has HUGE stats for me and I haven't reread it in years. Parts of it are really detailed though, and it's VERY me. It's all the tropes.

Lost Leaves of Autumn (Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Game of Thrones) This one is very soft and doesn't really belong in the GoT universe, which is so brutal, but I really love Catelyn.

Thawing Deep (Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Game of Thrones). They could have worked! I haven't read this one in ages either.

Her Majesty's Mercy (Maleficent/Regina Mills, Once Upon a Time) The best Once fic I wrote, in my opinion. I remember the fun of writing this one.

A Funny Thing Happened at a Stark Tower Gala (Melinda May/Phil Coulson, Agents of SHIELD). Maybe this got recced somewhere? Maybe AoS fandom was just big that year? It's cute and fun, and for some reason has a bunch of kudos.

(this is long)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to? If it's a fic that I'm really into I'll reply. I'm kind of giddy about comments on the ones I'm writing right now. If it's an older one that I am sentimental for I try to reply. If I'm not into it at the moment (I am kind of burnt out on Once Upon a Time, and I haven't been into Chakotay lately so I've been kind of meh on my own Janeway/Chakotay stuff). I try to, but I am fickle.

I did just have this really positive experience where I posted my chapter of Quantum Variations (which is my long Disco WIP) and the chapter was kind of a mess, but I was so happy to post it, I really didn't care) and people found things for me to fix and were really kind about it. It felt good, for a chapter with a bunch of errors.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I killed Elizabeth Weir once, but she came back, so the ending was pretty hopeful. I don't write much angst without a happy ending.

I have Janeway rather self-destructively run off with the Borg Queen but... uh...it wasn't that angsty. Dark, but she kind of wanted it.

There's probably something really angsty I'm just not thinking of, but I don't reread my really old stuff often. (some of them I honestly have no idea what the fic is about).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

there's a really sappy SGA one where they have a bunch of kids.

Firefly (Star Trek Discovery, Philippa and...learning to have feelings). maybe? Considering how messy Philippa's feelings are, she ends up happy, and more human, and she goes on a very long journey about it.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not lately. I did, I have, but it's been years. Once Upon a Time fandom you were a wild ride.

I did make massive drama back in the day with Janeway/Crusher, because I really wanted to get to play with them in the fandom space I was in, but that was not the space for that.

9. Do you write smut?

Sometimes! I'm on a somewhat lazy sort of fade to feelings place at the moment. I wrote a somewhat detailed one awhile back, but it was pretty tame. The fic is good though! I really like that one. Trapped in a turbolift and then later they have sex.

Migrations and other recurring phenomena (Star Trek Discovery, Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak). Happy Birthday, madame captain...

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not often, I do have a SGA and TNG crossover where the Enterprise turns up at Atlantis, which is odd but fun, and for some reason (there's a space battle) it got outside my usual audience. I really liked the challenge of all the characters meeting each other.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I recall.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I think a OUAT one? maybe two? It has happens but...I don't remember which fic it is.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Jackie and I wrote two really long ones together (which were a blast). I don't think she's still on tumblr but, @shinewithalltheuntold, I love you).

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I am really into whatever I am really into at the moment, because I get REALLY into things.

Right now it's Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak, underappreciated ship of my dreams. Michael gets to date the president of the Federation, as a treat. fun bonsu for me is that they have scenes together! and a relationship arc and that's really fun. (even if it's not romantic, it's something and I adore them, so I'll take it).

All time ever? Kathryn Janeway/Beverly Crusher, which made drama, ruined some of my fandom relationships, but really gave me something I needed.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I have a few that I just ended, which I'm okay with. I've taken longer hiatuses than I'd like, lately. (life's just been a lot).

I have three right now. Only one is posted and I'll finish that one! (Quantum Variations on a Love Theme (Star Trek Discovery, Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak) is my favorite. It's my heart right now. It's long and it's sometimes hard to write and there's backstory and plot threads BUT I love it.

And it has it's own little following and really that's all a really long fic needs: a handful of people who read it.

The other two I need for Year of the OTP so I should get those done too. (Firefly universe crosses over into canon-adjacent universe and Michael rescues sick Laira fic).

Hopefully they all get finished. (I'm fairly certain they will. I am not answering the question well).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Soft feelings. Incremental character growth. Long, slow, introspective character journeys. Friendship and found family moments. (there are some Tilly and Philippa moments I really like in Firefly, and Tilly and Laira and Tilly and Michael and...people having loving conversations is fun).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description. (I feel like I'm really lazy with this most of the time. They're there, you know what they look like).

Urgency. (my fics do not move quickly, or really with a lot of certainty in their direction).

Plot. (frequently feels like an afterthought so people can have feelings).

Focus? I drop plot threads, all the time.

Writing by myself is hard. I ALWAYS want to show whatever I've just done to a person and sometimes people are busy and I am so unmoored by that. (post it anyway, dammit). I adore having someone tell me it's good before I post it.Sometimes I have to post it anyway...

I also write the thing I want to write, over and over in different fandoms and with different a characters and I've written my own variations on "pregnant person goes on a journey with her feelings and grows as a person" at least 10 times.

and I'll do it again.

And I love midly sick character, which I will do again.

I feel bad and don't feel bad? It's what I want to read so I have to write it so I can read it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I google translate, or skip around it, or switch POV so I don't have to deal with it. It's hard to do and I can usually avoid it. I use a lot of fantasy name/word generator for alien words.

It's mostly [alien name goes here] and hopefully I put something in.

I borrow words (or spelling conventions) from languages I know little pieces of (Finnish, German, Welsh) when I need to for alien things.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek the Next Generation. (Stranded, Beverly Crusher/Jean-Luc Picard, Will Riker/Deanna Troi, adorable future children who are lesbians). One of my oldest fics is ON Ao3! it is like 22 years old I think? it's a mess and I should fix the formatting but it's SO LONG... It's fine. It's there. It's really not bad for my first long fic.

It's fun to see how far I've come. I wrote that one so long ago that I wrote it under my real name on a usergroup. Then posted it on my own website that I made with html on geoctities.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Whatever I'm working on right now is usually my favorite. I have fics I am especially fond of.

Her Majesty's Mercy. (Once Upon a Time, Regina Mills/Maleficent) one of the darker things I've written for them, that has a very happy ending it's just...kind of all raw messy feelings)

When I the Starry Courses Know. (Star Trek Voyager: Kathryn Janeway/Borg Queen) very depressed Janeway gives herself up to the Borg Queen, which kind of a Faustian twist to it. It's one of the better things I've ever written).

Fedvision (the Federation does eurovision, with Beverly Crusher/Kathryn Janeway and most of Voyager and TNG at their party). Fedvision is wonderful I should write it again, because it should happen every year. (Disco needs it). This fic is full of bubbly happiness and hats and love. It's full of love.

Firefly (Star Trek Discovery: Mirror Philippa Georgiou and Michael Burnham, and feelings, and learning to trust people). I used to live in a state of angst waiting for someone to comment when I posted...this fic has chapters without any comments at all. I had never written anything this long that didn't depend on a romantic pairing, this one doesn't have one in the center. I took huge break...and came back! I didn't have a beta or an alpha and I lost friends in the time it took to write it, and it still turned out. I grew as a writer and poster with this fic.

Quantum Variations on a Love Theme (Star Trek Discovery: Michael Burnham/Laira Rillak) is my favourite right now, because it's a me fic. It's a long meandering jellyfish fic and Laira's pregnant and I love it. It's the most fun I could have. It has really good parts. (not all of them but, there are some stellar bits). Also it has some detailed world building, and that's fun. This is the me fic that owns my soul at the moment so of course it's my favourite.

I'll just have five...

Tagging @aleksandrachaev @that-one-curly-haired-chick @purlturtle, @winternightjewels @regionalpancake @galactic-pirates @jackabelle73 @holdouttrout (if you fancy it)

and you, if you feel like it, person who made it all the way to the bottom!

The questions!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fic?

9. Do you write smut?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

[jetgirl1832]

20 Questions More

This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. @nottawriter hit me with a tag, I have been attacked lol.

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom? A dash of shower thoughts, with a pinch of I watched a movie and couldn't help but think... Yes, that will work. They often feel like the come from nowhere.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good? That's not fair how dare you ask me this!!!! Uhhh I'm mostly reading Supercorp stuff these days sooo... @jazzfordshire, @mycatismyeditor, @fazedlight, @innamorament0, @scribblingpunk, @fyonahmacnally to name a few. AAAAND my co-author and a vast array of things @tomatopudding! Why? Idk, I just get drawn a lot to these works and think they're lovely, and I love their depictions of these characters I love.... with @tomatopudding we just vibe very well, sharing the same five brain cells helps.

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write? If we're talking Supergirl... That's so hard, but I might have to say Brainy and Nia if really pressed... and Alex. I really enjoy Alex.

Otherwise, my other faves include all of the Les Amis from Les Miserables (if you know you know), specifically Courfeyrac and Marius and their hilarious dynamic. Other faves include Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton, Eponine Thenardier and... This could go on for a very long time, are you sure you have time?

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you’d never write about? Which ones? Not putting Kara and Lena together just makes me sad... So Supercorp ftw all the way, they are my top (I am a lot more amenable in other fandoms I've written for)

Tropes... I'm unlikely to do Omega-verse, I haven't done it and I can't see myself starting even if I sometimes read it.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

When I worked in retail I wrote on stupid little scraps and probably lost about 75% of them. Sometimes the method is hand writing, and then typing and making edits during that process as well. The handwritten can vary drastically from the typed draft lol.

I tend to fly by the seat of my pants unless someone is keeping me in line. I'm pretty darn chaotic.

I doubt myself a lot, so I always think whatever I write is garbage no matter how much proof there is that's not true. Also, sometimes I get burnt out, or my muse dies and then I feel terrible. Yay.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process? Falling down rabbit holes, looking into fun topics. Likely ending up on a government watch list for the stuff I've searched up over the years

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic? Uhhh.... hmm. I have no idea what the weirdest is lol. Cause it's on my mind, probably looking up what types of wood are easiest to chop, and why. (There is definitely weirder, but I don't remember right now).

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)? Commas. They hate me, and I hate them.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why? Oof. Uhhh... This is so hard! Honestly there is a lot of stuff in my co-written very long series Hamilton Family Album that was *a lot* between research and feels.

Especially when you're co-author hits you with unexpected feels out of nowhere that you weren't anticipating (YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID).

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely? Of course, they have. It happens all the time.

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why? Ohhh... Hands down Kara and Lena, I wish they could be my friends and we could hang out. Why? I think that they are absolutely incredible, wonderful and I could just sing their praises for ever.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing? Oooo, I'm a sucker for fluffy romances, and I've been dabbling in smut recently. Other themes for me can be like found family is a really popular one for me.

Since I've written both a lot of Les Mis and Hamilton stuff (among other similar things) I've done a lot of "Modern AU's" as well, which are uhhh varied to say the least. If I can treat anything they way the treat most Shakespeare pieces these days I do it.

13) What’s your most important resource as a writer? Asking for help! Soundboarding with other writers, I love doing it. It helps me make sense of my ideas... Or decide they're maybe too out there (almost never lol)

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work? Reading it out loud, I have a hard time noticing errors otherwise. Asking someone you trust to look it over as well, take your time and double and triple check if you're unsure about something.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic? D. All of the Above

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it? I try to just write for myself, usually because I haven't seen something like it and think it should exist. I do really enjoy getting comments if only because I'm always curious to hear what readers think about my work.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship? I don't, and if I did it would be odd... I'm the most massive theater nerd. I do have songs that I think fit the vibes, and some shows I listen to have more apt things than others. Or if it's Les Mis it's the whole dang album lol.

Supercorp things if anyone is curious (and wondering how odd it could get): Mercury Rising from Lizzie, Come Home With Me, Anyway the Wind Blows, Wait for Me and Wedding Song from Hadestown, In A Crowd of Thousands from Anastasia, Origin of Love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Maybe I introduced you to something fun today.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it? Oh dear... I don't know. The thing I'd love to see art for isn't up yet and I just think it would be fun but it will be called What Was I Made For... And we're gonna leave at that for now.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have? I'm finishing up You've Got New Followers (One chapter left!), I think three other WIP's (two more plotted than others) and my WIP for May-Hem... So five?

20) What’s your advice to new fanfic writers? Don't be afraid just because you've never done it before. That's why fanfic is amazing. You can do what you want and in reality no one can stop you, just make sure you're having fun.

My fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetGirl1832/works?page=1

Tagging but no pressure: @tomatopudding and @innamorament0

[akocomyk]

The Risk

2023’s Most Memorable Moment

Where do I even begin?

Haha. 😅 There’s one last love story—one last heart—that I need to talk about. It may not have been the longest situationship from last year, but it was the most genuine. And if I had to choose from the long list of people I’ve met and dated, I’d always choose him.

Cup of Joe is one band that I discovered and got so addicted to after I broke up with my ex. The song I chose for this moment is my favorite from them, and I thought that it was a song I could dedicate to my ex, but somehow, I always felt that it wasn’t meant for him.

And I was right. It was meant for me and my babe.

Charles... Babe?

Can you tell me how do I move on from loving someone who has done nothing but love me in the way that I deserve to be loved? You’re the one who has a long list of ex-lovers, maybe you know.

Remember what I said back in December 26? That in my dating life for 2023, you were the cherry on top. It’s not because you’re the one who ended that phase, but because you were the one that hurt the most. I didn’t include your name in the roll call for that memory because I didn’t meet you in Bumble.

I’ve been telling you this before… I’m still in question of what made you decide to transition from us being just casual online friends to potential lovers.

I’ll never forget how we first met in a Zoom call, and then we connected in Twitter. You were my “happy crush” then, which was why I always replied to you whenever you messaged me. Months later, in October 20, you asked for my Instagram account and began pursuing me.

One of the first things you ever told me was that you were not out to your friends or family, and that you value your privacy. This wasn’t a problem for me. Then came a time when you shared to me how much you cried when you watched Heartstopper and Gaya Sa Pelikula because, unlike the characters in these shows, you still haven’t found the courage to come out to the people you love. So I told you, “Everyone has their right time for that.”

After talking consistently for several days, you began telling me repeatedly that you like me, and I held back myself from saying the same to you because I was trying to guard my heart and I didn’t want to give you the idea that I was easy to get. Honestly though, I’d be lying if I say that I didn’t have the same feelings for you.

Of all the guys I dated, you were the only one who wanted to ask permission from my family first before courting me. You knew your place as well, you respected my individuality, and you didn’t ask me to stop seeing other guys—at least, at first 😉.

I really enjoyed talking with you, and I mean all versions of you. The Swiftie. The deep talker. The ranter. The ML player. The “Did you know…” guy. The avid listener. Even the maker of bad “Tito jokes”. Talking to you gives me so much comfort because I know that no matter how savagely honest I can be with what I think or feel, you would never invalidate me. It just shows how modest, kind, and respectful you are.

But you know what’s my favorite version of you? It’s the one who drunk texts me. 😜 Other than the fact that I find it so funny when you chat me while you’re tipsy, I enjoy hearing you speak without your inhibitions. It feels like I’m seeing your heart without the usual barricade of your logical mind. You were drunk when you begged me to stop seeing other guys. And that’s also when you first sent me a voice record of you saying, “I love you.”

I didn’t want to immediately say it back because, at that point, you still haven’t given that much effort for me. But to tell you the truth, it took me a hard time to stop myself from doing so. I needed to use my head now, you know, after being in a relationship where I was the only one exerting the maximum effort to build it.

You said sorry every time you drunk texted me, and told me to don’t mind the things you said. You say sorry quite a lot, actually. When you over slept. When you forgot to say good night. When you took too long to reply. When you think you’ve offended me even when I wasn’t offended at all. And you’re so cute when you ask me, “Galit ka ba? 🥺”

I’ve never been angry at you. That’s one thing that you never got me to do. But you got me to do other stuff, though.

You got me to play Mobile Legends. No one has ever made me do that. Don’t ever think that I didn’t enjoy playing the game.

You made me eat breakfast—and I’m sorry I still miss it often.

You got me through my dilemma with my past work. That’s why you were the first person to know that I’ve passed the application process in QBE, and that I’ve already accepted their offer.

And… there’s many more.

December 15 was one of my most favorite days this year. Obviously because it was the first time we met in person, and you insisted that you’d go visit me here in Cavite City. I love that the first thing you wanted to do when you got here was to visit my mother’s grave, so I took you to her. And I really didn’t have an itinerary for that day, my idea was just to walk you around my hometown—which we did, and I told you stories about my life as we visited various places. You even met Trish who is one of my best friends.

In the afternoon, we went to the cinemas to watch Wonka, which apparently no one wanted to watch that day aside from us and two other folks. It was there when you asked permission if you could hold my hand—of course, I said yes. Then you also asked permission if you could kiss me, and I said, “Of course!” I mean, you already kissed me twice by then, and you said I tasted like sour cream and cheese, thanks to Potato Corner.

I didn’t remember much about how the film Wonka went, but I will never forget how I felt at home when I was with you.

You brought me back to my house that night, and we were so bummed that we missed our city’s annual “Navidad” parade. We were also bummed that we didn’t kiss each other goodbye despite wanting to.

Come the Christmas holidays, I knew something was rather off with you, and I took it as maybe it’s just because you missed your family in the province so much, knowing that you haven’t spent Christmas with them for years and you’re just spending it now with your friends.

Then on the morning after Christmas, you told me your father called you the night before, and that he was disappointed at you. And you told me you’d come here to Cavite to discuss everything personally.

I was in complete unrest the entire day as I waited for you, and when you finally arrived at our gate that night… I knew some shit’s gonna get real.

We walked, your arm over my shoulders, and you told me what happened.

You came out to your parents—told them over chat—in the first week of December. Your mom replied first, but your dad only replied on Christmas day when he called you. You also told them that you were seeing a guy—me. They weren’t mad at you, they didn’t scold you, but you knew they were disappointed.

I hugged you, even when you didn’t want to ‘coz you just wanted us to keep walking.

And then… you could no longer put words to your thoughts. You just kept saying, “Sorry,” every second. So I said, “I know what you’re trying to tell me without you having to say it out loud.”

It was so hard for me to walk then because I felt like my legs had turned to jelly. I wanted to just lie down and cry on the rain sodden asphalt.

You said you took the risk… because I was the risk w🫀rth taking. You said, “Gusto mo bang itago rin kita? ‘Di mo deserve ‘yun.”

You said, “Sorry I’m not strong enough to go against my parents. Sorry I’m not as strong as you.”

We sat on the pavement in front of our house. We talked more. You said sorry many more times, I told you I wanted to fight for you.

You said, “I love you.” I looked at you and said, “I love you too.” I never thought hearing and saying those words could feel so bittersweet. There were millions of butterflies in my stomach, but they evaporated the minute they spread their wings.

A lot more happened that night. Like how we planned to get drunk, but my homophobic father kicked us out, so I just sent you home. I cried to my sister and told her everything. When we’re both in bed in our own rooms, we couldn’t sleep so we just went on a call until we slept and woke up the next morning.

Shit.

You know, my mother taught me me to fight and never give up for the ones I love. When she was dying, she was still fighting up until her very last breath—maybe even beyond. The doctors told us that they did everything they can to revive her because they could feel that she still wanted to live, but her body just couldn’t make it. The last word she said to me before she was taken to the ICU was, “Hindi ko kayo iiwan.”

I am my mother’s son, and I am like her in many ways. I don’t just look like her, I also love like her. And if I can, even when it’s against all odds, I would still fight for the people I love ‘til there’s only one last glimmer of hope.

But yeah. You needed to be firm with your decision, otherwise coming to me that night would’ve been for nothing, according to you.

It takes great courage to come out. You don’t know how much I wish you’re brave enough to stand firm as well with who you are. You’ve taken a risk, partly because of me, and it’s sad that despite you taking that risk, I only ended up becoming the sacrificial lamb.

My friend said I deserve someone better than you because I don’t deserve to experience what you did.

Forgive me if the skeptical and overthinking part of me tries to paint an unpleasant picture of you—chains of what-if’s that map out a reason to make sense of it all. Like… What if you made it up? You know… just to give me a good story that’ll force us to end our relationship before it even started. What if you did it just to get rid of me, for whatever reason reason that maybe? Maybe you got turned off by my complicated family? My blunt honesty? Or maybe you actually found someone else? Maybe… you found out I was worth more than what you initially wanted me to be, so you got scared that I might end up like your many exes and you wouldn’t want that, so you decided to stop pursuing me before we fall deeper into our feelings.

But we’ve already fallen.

Babe, you are the most memorable moment of my 2023, and I’m grateful for that. Thank you for giving me the best and worst days of the year.

Like we said, maybe in a parallel universe, there’s a version of you who’s brave enough to stay with me. And in this universe of ours, maybe we’re only destined to have a sad, beautiful, tragic love affair.

Regardless, if in this lifetime, you finally find the courage to love freely, come back to me and reclaim the heart that was once yours.

I love you, boss, popcorn, hooman, babe.

I LOVE YOU, CHARLES. Always.

[sparklepool101]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

"Tagged" in @kindlystrawberry's open invitation (who is one of my favorite fic writer ever, seriously PLEASE check her stuff out!) and using this as an excuse to ramble :p

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

66!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

192,170 since 2020!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A little bit of everything! The top couple that pop up on my profile are Craig of the Creek (21), Project Sekai (14), Rise of the TMNT (5), and Kid Cosmic (5). But honestly? Whatever I'm into at the moment has a good chance at getting a fic. (My notes app is nothing but draft ideas.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sure As Sun Turns to Moon (I'll be With You) (FNAF) - 1,697

I Can't Lose You Again (ROTTMNT) - 847

Another Danganronpa Chatfic >:3c (Danganronpa) - 478

Wish We Could Turn Back Time (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared) - 430

Five Times Casey Moved to a New Cave and One Time that He Moved into a New House (ROTTMNT) - 421

So one of these is not like the others lol. I can explain though. So, top down:

SASTTM got published when Security Breach was super popular and tapped into the public outcry for Freddy being Gregory's dad. It's been sitting unfinished for over a year now at 28k, but I do have plans to finish it! I've cut the draft down a lot to actually make it a feasible writing project now, but I'm not going to publish anymore chapters until it's done. I want to finish it properly because this fic helped me grow so much as a writer and it means a lot to me.

I Can't Lose You Again will get touched on later on, as well as Wish We Could Turn Back Time.

Five Time Casey Moved was a fic that I wrote in a haze after watching season one of ROTTMNT and then the movie. It was published the day after the movie came out iirc and has a really special place in my heart for several reasons <3

And then the chatfic.

I got my fandom start in Danganonpa and in middle school, chatfics are the funniest, coolest things ever. So once I decided to start writing, obviously I had to do my own. It has aged horribly, is horribly written, and honestly should be deleted and never see the light of day again. Or at least be orphaned. But I made myself a promise to never delete my old fics unless they were actually horrific because you know what? Everyone starts somewhere. So it's still up. And one day it will get dethroned from the top kudos list and I will throw a party <3

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually respond!! It makes me so giddy to receive even the shortest comments, and I always try to pass on that good feeling <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So out of my published fics its I’d Make a Deal with God (I’d Get Him to Swap Our Places) which is a ROTTMNT fic I wrote about the movie before it came out to speculate on the future. In it we see both Raph and Donnie get kranged, leaving Leo and Mikey crying in a subway. A friend actually told me to kay why you know what myself because of it (in a very much joking manner) which was SUCH a compliment!!!

Out of everything I've written? There's a half finished ROTTMNT fic in my junior year AP Lang notebook which takes place over one week and ends with Mikey dying which is... really angsty. Like worryingly angsty. It's still an interesting concept that I think could be fun to explore, but even if I do ever finish it idk if it'll see the light of day.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm really not a fan of unhappy endings, even in fics. Hurt is best served with a side of comfort in my opinion, so everything I write ends up being really light and fluffy.

Three fics come to mind as having the happiest *ending* though.

The first is Would You be so Kind (As to Fall in Love with Me?) which is a Craig of the Creek fic entirely focused on two characters realizing that they love each other and that polyamory is an option! It's super sweet and I refuse to believe it's not canon tbh.

The other two are both Project Sekai fics from Tenmay this year, The Royal Summit (Where Friendships Blossom) and Sunbound Promise. They're both fantasy aus where Tsukasa and Toya grow closer, the first being their first meeting and the second where they become brothers. They're both so sweet and self indulgent, the endings make me so happy <3 <3 <3 <3

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got one comment on SASTTM where someone was bitching about neopronouns which I think counts. But overall people have been really nice and anyone who doesn't jive with the fic just moves on lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, and I don't know if I ever will. It's just not what I really want to write :p

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Occasionally! None of them have been particularly "crazy", though. I try to keep those things pretty grounded. I have a lot of crossover ideas that don't get written though :p

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but if anyone ever wants to do so you have my full permission! Just shoot me a message somewhere to let me know

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I don't know if I'd be able to either, co-plotting would be fine, I'm doing that with my sibling and a prsk magical girl fic, but writing,,, I couldn't :,)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

There are a lot of ships I love. But for all time favorite, I have to go with the one that I keep going back to read fics for even though I've lost pretty much all other interest in the game: Promptis (Prompto/Noctis from FFXV) I just keep coming back to them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Where to start with this list.

The main one if probably my Project Sekai fantasy au fic The Eastern Side of Bolganio. It's so special to me, but it's a majorly ambitious project and I've gotten so little response with it that it's hard to write. I'm normally pretty good about not focusing on the numbers when it comes to fics (writing for small random fandoms help, there are some fics that I'm surprised have more than two hits, much less two kudos), but the fact that it's such an ambitious project that I've barely made a dent into... idk

I really want to finish it though </3

16. What are your writing strengths?

idk, people say that my characterization is really good? I saved this one for last to answer but now I'm tired

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm going to try and not be too self deprecating lol.

I'm really bad at describing environments/movement and dialogue at the same time. It's always either White Room Syndrome or a clunky mess. I also suck at titles. I always try to not use song lyrics, but anything that I do always sounds horrible.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it when it's done well! I love it when fic authors delve into the heritage of characters and bring in elements of it. I've done it a fair couple of times and always take great care to make sure that the translations aren't too horrific.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

So the first ever fanfiction I wrote was my exceedingly angsty, take on who the other souls in Undertale were before they died.

HOWEVER, I consider the first *fandom* I wrote for to be either Percy Jackson or Danganronpa. My first actual attempt at writing a fanfiction was a Solangelo prompt which I wrote two sentences of before abandoning and the first time I tried to write canon characters in situations, doing things, was it that damned chatfic XD

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ouuuugh we're just going with a list here

I Can't Lose You Again - I told you these would show back up again. Anyways, writing this fic was so fun. I really felt like I knew what I was doing, and apparently I did based off the comments! It's so special to me <3

Wish We Could Turn Back Time - This is my Roman Empire. I haven't updated this fic in years but I think about it everyday. I'm working on cleaning up the outline to be less ambitious so I actually have a chance to finish writing the thing, and I can't wait to finally give it the ending it deserves! It's also actually shaped my life in so many ways <3

After The Dinner Horn and Offscreen; a CotC oneshot collection - Maybe putting a oneshot collection here is cheating but shhhh. This actually is an umbrella title for almost all of my cotc fics (especially on platforms where I can't be bothered to upload them individually unless they're multichaptered). So many of these fics either shaped me as a writer drastically or mean so much to me on a personal level it's WILD. And also a reflection on how much the show means to me I guess? Idk that's enough psychoanalyzing for today.

Coercion Cancellation - This one might be cheating because it's the one I'm currently working on, but shhhhh. It still counts. It's for an indie horror game called Imaginary Friend Asylum ((prequel to The Friends We Left Behind)) which you should check out

Also adding on the two Project Sekai fics from question seven about the happiest ending. They're just so, so self indulgent <3

Tags: I don't have the guts (nor memory) to tag anyone on here, so it's fully an open invite! Hop on over here and ramble your heart out about the things you've written!! I can't wait to read it!!!

[duckduckhjonk]

*very loud clap of my hands*

RIGHT

*very loud cracking of my knuckles*

so tonight marks a special occasion, I finished season one of Inanimate Insanity as part of my tumblr live reactions. Very important day indeed. Now its time for my season review.

I guess if you haven't seen season 1 spoilers?? also its long so it goes under the read more. Also please note I'm just some random critter on the internet, I might not have gods greatest reading comprehension. If I say something wrong, please be respectful but do correct me!

I think the show started off very rocky to say the least. I think it was originally like "We're bfdi but edgy" with all the censored swearing and jabs at what would probably be 'dark' humour. Not really a fan of that bit, like- at all. I think most of what they tried to do early on landed very poorly. I think the way they originally tackled Paint Brush being non-binary was done awfully. I know in the later seasons it is properly discussed, but this is just going through the first season.

But, I think they recovered decently. I think that this season managed to turn that around and make it into genuinely an interesting show. I felt myself getting closer to the screen in anticipation and excitement during some of the later episodes. They ditched the dark/edgy humour and made a good show. I think that was smart and really good.

The characters are very fun. I definitely have some favourites. Those being Paper, Paint Brush, Bow, Balloon, Taco, and Marshmallow, but of them all I absolutely adore Paper. But I also think Bomb stood out a lot. He's a very solid character to me. I don't see a lot of characters with a stutter a lot, and originally I don't think it was done in a goodhearted way, but I didn't see a lot of it being used as the butt of the joke very often. Of course there were times it was, but it wasn't as common as I was expecting I suppose. I also think I'd like to talk about Apple a bit? I thought she was a very decent character, being a little stupid, but iconic I suppose. Although my biggest complaint with her was she was very much written off towards the end with her elimination. While the rest of the eliminated contestants came back and did things, she only got snippets???

Talking more about my faves for a moment. Paper, god I love him. From the bottom of the barrel to the top of the game with him. He became evil, he stopped being evil, he survived isolation, he's a soggy wet cat to me. I love him. I think both him and Bomb were fucked over by OJ. Segway into talking about that guy. OJ, our winner. I have very mixed feelings about him. On one hand, he absolutely is a prick, he's a little dramatic, but on the other hand, he absolutely does feel like Main Guy. He suffers a lot from that Protagonist Syndrome that I think some of these cartoon survivor shows have. Although I don't entirely hate him. He turned out well.

As for everyone's favourite food, I feel a little bad for Taco. She played the game and played it well. Feigning ignorance is not something easily done. If it wasn't for me being a spoiler-seeker and having seen it already, she very easily could have fooled me. She was very much for the most part what Rocky is/was but honestly, 20 times better. I loved her shouting, her auurrrr noise, the lemon spitting. I think that while she's back she should spit a lemon at someone. Please if the movie cares about its fans-

With all of this, I'm actually really looking forward to starting season 2. I'm hoping to be caught up by the time the movie/finale for season 2 comes out so I can possibly add this to my list of object shows to live review. I'm cutting this here because 1) my joints are starting to hurt and 2) if anyone wants more in depth reviews of each character feel free to hop into my inbox and ask, I would love to go more in depth, even with the ones I mentioned here individually. and also 3) its midnight. I'm an eepy guy.

thank you all who are here for accompanying me on this journey :3