#hopefully I can force myself to go through that this year | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daysofyellowroses · 7 months

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sandwich

carmen berzatto x afab!reader | 7.9k | based on this wonderful request by @kpopgirlbtssvt (sincere apologies this took so long!) | 18+ minors dni | warnings: smut, mentions of abuse, shitty shitty behaviour, language

finally finally finally i am posting this! it was not intended to be so long but i couldn't bring myself to end it, then life and work got busy and long story short, here it is! i have more requests to get working on, but i have a week off from today so hopefully no more delays! 🌼💗🫶🏻

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“I can do this, I can totally do this.”

You repeated the words to yourself over and over, looking at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was just a job interview, it wasn't like you were going into battle or something. Still, that thought didn't ease the knot in your stomach. Job interviews were always nerve-wracking, it was just the nature of them. You'd lost track of how many you'd been on, they all started to blur together. Some of the jobs weren't even really what you wanted, but you needed something new. Your notice was burning a hole in your pocket, just waiting to be handed in.

You stepped back from the mirror, taking a deep breath. Your outfit looked professional, you felt. A white shirt and navy pants, simple but effective. You forced yourself to smile, to try and feel more relaxed. The world wouldn't end, you still had a job, technically, had a roof over your head. A new roof, a new life. Now you just needed a new job and it would all fall into place.

Heading into your bedroom, you checked your phone to see which interview it was, your calendar flooded with notices. The latest was a hostess job for the Bear, a newly opened restaurant. You'd been a little surprised to get a call for an interview, while you had worked in a restaurant before it was a couple of years ago and you'd worked there for less than a year. Still, an interview was an interview, and you wouldn't be too down if you didn't get it.

When you arrived at the restaurant, you wondered if you'd gone to the right address. In theory it looked like a restaurant, but there was still a whole lot of construction work going on. You wondered how soon the soon-to-be-open was exactly. Heading inside, you raised a brow at how much work was being done, an interview on a construction site would be a new experience for sure.

After a moment, a blonde woman walked through one of the open doorways, picking her way across the floor to you. She seemed to be heavily pregnant, but it didn't stop her weaving through the room with ease.

“Hi, sorry to keep you waiting,” She smiled as she approached you. “I'm Natalie, one of the managers here. You must be my ten o'clock interview, come on in.”

She led you to a table that had been laid out how you imagined all the tables would eventually look, with its elegant wine glasses and luxurious napkins and cutlery. There were, you noticed, three chairs across the table from you, your heart beating a little faster. You didn't mind interviews but when there were three or four people talking to you at once it could be a little intense.

You gave her your details and placed your purse on the back of your chair, taking a deep breath.

“Great,” Natalie smiled, placing the copy of your resume that you had given her on the table. “I'm just waiting for-”

“I'm here,” A voice called from across the room. “Sorry I'm late.”

You looked over, finding a tall man in a dark suit walking over to the table. He looked about mid-40s, piercing blue,eyes, pretty attractive but not necessarily your type. Not that it mattered, you told yourself. Finding your boss attractive hadn't been great for you historically.

The man introduced himself and you did the same, sitting up a little as he sat down beside Natalie.

“Are Carm and Sydney coming to this one?” Natalie asked Richie, quietly. “They said they would.”

“Said they'd try,” Richie replied, looking over to you with a polite smile. “But let's get started shall we?”

“Absolutely.” You nodded with a smile, taking a deep breath.

“Well let's tell you a little bit about us,” Natalie smiled. “As you can see we're still in the renovation stage, but we're close to the end now. We were a sandwich shop before but now we're moving to a more high end operation, which we're all very excited about. It's a great team we have here, and we're looking forward to building on what we already have.”

“That sounds great,” You smiled, glancing down to the table for a moment to gather your thoughts before looking back up. “I'm used to working as part of a strong team, so that wouldn't be a problem.”

“Excellent,” Natalie nodded, looking at your resume for a moment before looking over to Richie. “Well Richie here is our front of house manager so I'll let him fill you in on what we would expect from you.”

Richie nodded, looking over to you and you felt your heart race a little. For good or bad you weren't sure, but you decided to roll with it.

“As Natalie said we're going to be a high end operation,” Richie began, his gaze burning into you. “What does that mean to you?”

You thought about it for a moment, adjusting the napkin in front of you before looking back at Richie.

“To me it means excellent food, a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere, and a strong focus on customer service.”

Richie was quiet for a moment and you found yourself questioning your answer.

“Good,” Richie nodded, sitting back a little. “Now..”

It was fifteen or so minutes later when the door to the restaurant opened. Richie and Natalie both glanced over and you paused what you were saying. After a moment they looked back at you and you kept going, a man about your age coming over to the table and sitting in the empty chair beside Natalie. He gave you a polite smile and you felt your heart race in a way you knew definitely wasn't good but in the best possible way.

“Apologies for my brother's lateness,” Natalie sighed softly, gesturing to the man beside her. “This is Carmy, he's the head chef.”

He smiled as he held his hand out to you and it took you a second to remember your own name. You shook his had, trying to ignore the spark that shot through you.

The rest of the interview felt like a blur, before you knew it you were saying your goodbyes and heading out. You had no idea if you had actually done well or not, with every other interview you'd had some idea but you were honestly clueless with this one.

It was a couple of days later when you got a phone call. You had just gotten out of the shower when your phone rang, you could hear it from your bedroom and quickly threw a towel around yourself before heading into your bedroom. You didn't have time to check the ID before answering your phone, clutching your towel around yourself.

“Hello?”

“Hi, sorry to call so early.”

You vaguely recognised the voice, running through possible options in your head before it dawned on you.

“Uh..no, no it's fine,” You nodded, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Don't worry.”

“Great,” Carmy replied. “I wanted to thank you for coming in the other day, we had a lot of interviews..”

You took a deep breath as you braced yourself for rejection. It wouldn't be the worst thing, but it still always felt a little deflating to be told you weren't good enough.

“..and I wanted to let you know that we would love to have you on board, if you're still interested?”

Your heart flew into your mouth, your mind unable to process an answer for a moment.

“I..yes, yes I'm still interested,” You nodded, a smile breaking out on your face. “That's amazing, thank you so much.”

“My pleasure,” Carmy's voice sounded low in your ear and you found yourself clutching your towel tighter. “I know you have to work out your notice in your current job but whenever you're free to start, we'll be here.”

“Oh, great,” You murmured, cursing yourself for sounding so dazed. “I'll hand my notice in today, and..I'll keep you updated. Thank you so much.”

“Don't mention it, I'll talk to you soon okay?”

“Okay,” You nodded, saying your goodbyes before ending the call and sitting on your bed for a while longer to process what had happened. It was a weight off your shoulders, of course, but you still had a nervous excitement about it.

The two weeks you had to finish out seemed to pass by in an instant. On your last day you were given a card and flowers, someone brought in a cake, and you found yourself wondering if anyone would even remember you in a week's time.

Then, before you knew it, you were getting ready to start your first shift at the Bear. It was the opening night, and you weren't sure if the nerves would ever end. The evening was all a blur, you felt like you were on autopilot, watching your own body in action. Richie took the helm much to your relief, and you just followed his lead. By the time you were putting your jacket on and getting ready to go home, you weren't sure you hadn't dreamed the whole thing.

The nerves really hit on your following shift. There wasn't the buzz of the opening night, the pressure that made you strangely calm. You spent a solid two hours getting ready, looking at yourself in the mirror for a ridiculously long time. Your dress felt too short, even with your dark tights. Your makeup felt like it was too much and not enough. Eventually you had to leave, and tried to push your insecurities aside before they drove you crazy.

You arrived at the restaurant just in time for the staff dinner, taking your seat and taking off your jacket. You felt too nervous to eat, even though the food looked incredible. Instead, you opted to take a sip of water, glancing up and finding Carmy looking at you. He looked away when you met his eyes and you slowly set your cup down, adjusting your dress under the table.

While you forced yourself to eat something, you looked over to Richie as he launched into a story, finding yourself relaxing slightly. You were sure you felt eyes on you, but when you glanced at Carmy he wasn't looking at you. After dinner, the nerves struck again as everyone got ready for the service. You hung back for a moment, taking a deep breath.

“Hey, feeling okay?”

You looked up and swallowed a breath as you saw Carmy walking over to you.

“Uh..yeah, yeah I'm good,” You nodded, clearing your throat. “Just the tiniest bit nervous. It's been a minute since I was in a job like this..I hope last night wasn't just a fluke.”

“It wasn't,” Carmy smiled, raising a brow. “Don't worry. You were great, really great. You can do this, just overthink it, alright?”

“Alright,” You smiled, feeling the knot in your stomach loosen slightly. “I won't.”

Service actually went well, at least for a while. You put on a mask of confidence and found yourself feeling better about your abilities as the evening went on. Until, that is, you were in the kitchen explaining an order update for a table when Richie burst in with a face like thunder and your stomach dropped.

“Hey,” He looked over to you and you already wanted the ground to open up and swallow you.

“Did you seat table nine?”

“I..yes, I did,” You nodded, wondering what exactly the problem was, nothing springing to mind. “Why? Should I..not have?”

Richie sighed and ran his hand over his face, while you felt like you were back in school about to be ripped apart by a teacher.

“You seated them,” Richie nodded, resting his hands on his hips. “Despite the fact that table nine is reserved for seven thirty, did you just decide not to do your job?”

“I..I'm so sorry,” You insisted, holding your hands up. “It was a mistake, I take complete responsibility for it, I'm so sorry.”

“You should be,” Richie sighed, shaking his head. “You made the mess, you clean it up. I can't fucking believe this.”

“I..” You stopped yourself as Richie held his hand up, trying to hold back your tears and cursing yourself for being so damn overly sensitive.

“No, you just need to stop,” Richie muttered. “I gotta think.”

You closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, looking over your shoulder as you felt a hand on your back.

“Don't worry,” Carmy murmured softly, meeting your eyes. “he's just a drama queen. You can do this, don't panic.”

You felt more eyes on you, some of the other chefs looking at you with surprise before they got back to work.

“Alright,” You nodded, taking a deep breath before looking back at Richie.

“I'll handle it.”

You left the kitchen, holding your head up high and leaving the mask aside.

After service was over, you slipped out to the back and sat on a low wall before pulling a back of cigarettes from your purse. A moment later you let out a long exhale and felt your body relax.

“Mind if I bum one of those?”

“Of course,” You smiled, holding the packet out to Carmy as he walked towards you. “Go for it.”

“Thanks,” Carmy nodded, taking the pack. “Didn't have you pegged as a smoker. No offense.”

“None taken,” You smiled, wrapping your arm around yourself. “I don't smoke so much anymore, just after a tough day. Stress reliever.”

Carmy nodded as he lit up a cigarette, handing you back the packet. “I get you. But I should warn you this job will have you back smoking full time, nature of it and all.”

You nodded as you took a drag of your cigarette, watching Carmy sit down beside you.

“Thanks for the heads up..and I'm sorry again for tonight.”

Carmy shook his head, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.

“Don't apologize, honestly. It was an honest mistake, it all got resolved. Richie just needs to have a moment now and then. He'll apologize in a day or two.”

“Can't wait,” You laughed softly, flicking your cigarette by your feet. “I really thought he was gonna kill me at one point. If I'm still here in a month I'll be amazed.”

“You'll still be here,” Carmy nudged you gently. “If I have my way anyway. Don't let Richie get in your head. You're good at what you do, embrace it.”

“Are you a chef or a life coach?” You teased, smiling to yourself. “I just get a little too in my head sometimes, overthink things.”

“Well join the club,” Carmy laughed softly as he shook his head. “We're all guilty of that. You just gotta push past it, I guess.”

“Hm, has that ever worked for you?” You asked, looking over to Carmy.

“Honestly?” Carmy met your gaze, his cigarette between his lips and his eyes sincere. “Not even once.”

“Hm, I suspected as much,” You smiled, looking away. “easier said than done, right?”

“Right,” Carmy murmured. “So maybe we just tell each other when we're overthinking. Get the thoughts out.”

“That sounds great, in theory,” You raised a brow, looking up for a moment with a smile. “Guess we'll just have to see how it goes in practice.”

A month later, you had started to settle into your role more, getting more comfortable and confident. There were a couple of slip ups here and there, but you always seemed to have Carmy in your corner. You got better at handling problems, and gradually started to build a bond with Richie, who you grew a soft spot for.

One particular Saturday, there was a plan to go for drinks after work. You hadn't been planning to go, but figured it would be nice to spend some time with everyone outside of work, in your normal clothes and without only being able to speak in short bursts.

Well, you and Carmy did tend to spend some time after work having a cigarette, sometimes it was twenty minutes, sometimes it was an hour. At first you would just talk about work, about the night's service, any annoying customers, but gradually you started to learn more. You found that you enjoyed just listening to him talk, when he would tell you little snippets of his life. It was never too much, too detailed, but enough for you to piece together a more clear picture of his life. You shared some details of your life, never anything too much, but enough that he seemed interested, asking you more and more questions.

After service that Saturday, you felt like you could sleep for a week but everyone else's excitement gave you a buzz. You got changed in the bathroom, throwing on a pair of dark jeans and a simple red velvet top, stuffing your hostess dress into your bag. You felt more than ready for a drink, but there was one thing you had to do first.

“Didn't think you were coming out tonight.”

“For a drink or a smoke?” You asked, walking over to the wall and sitting beside Carmy. He was wearing jeans and a sweater but when you were so used to seeing him in his whites it made a difference.

“Either,” Carmy handed you a pack of cigarettes. “Not complaining though.”

“Didn't think you would,” You smiled, plucking a cigarette from the pack. “I told Syd I'd head to the bar in a few, they're all gonna go on ahead. Richie said first round on him.”

“I'll believe that when I see it,” Carmy scoffed, shaking his head. “What's your poison?”

“Arsenic,” You replied, looking over to Carm with a grin. “Ask an old question and get an old answer.”

“Alright, fair,” Carmy nodded, a smile on his face. “if I was to give you a drink right now what would you have?”

“Right now?” You looked up for a moment, thinking about it.

“Mm..probably like a whiskey sour.”

“You're such an old man,” Carm laughed as you rolled your eyes. “A whiskey sour?”

“It's a classic,” You lightly swatted his arm. “Don't knock it. We can't all be cool bros who drink fucking beer.”

“I never said I was having a beer,” Carmy raised a brow, holding his hand over his heart. “You're really gonna slap me with the bro label?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, taking a drag on your cigarette before looking over to Carm with a grin. “It's an old man's prerogative.”

You and Carm ended up arriving at the bar after everyone else had already finished half their first drinks. One of you had suggested walking to the bar, it didn't seem so far away at the time. On the way you'd stopped to get cigarettes, arguing over who was paying, Carmy beating you to the card machine by a split second.

The bar felt warm when you walked in, Carm's hand on your back as you removed your jacket not helping. He told you he'd order the drinks, disappearing before you could offer your card.

You joined the others, sitting down beside Richie and laughing as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and rested his head on yours. By the time Carmy came over with your drinks you were caught up in Syds's story, taking a moment before looking over to Carm and mouthing a ‘thank you’.

As the night went on, you weren't sure how many drinks you had actually had, between your trips to the bar more glasses were placed in front of you, everyone forgetting who they actually owed. In the latest bar you'd all ended up in, you leaned against Carmy's shoulder, his arm around yours.

“Oh shit,” You heard Richie exclaim, slowly dragging your gaze over to him.

“They got karaoke!”

“Karaoke?” You grinned, looking up at Carmy. “Oh wait, you're probably too cool for that, huh bro?”

“Shut up,” Carmy rolled his eyes with a smile, lightly squeezing your shoulder. “We can't all get up and belt out Sinatra.”

“Hey,” You raised a brow. “My drinks may be old but my music taste is not. Get me the sight up sheet.”

The lights of the stage felt bright and hot on your already warm skin, but you felt a rush of adrenaline as everyone cheered and your eyes met Carm's.

“Hey,” You smiled, giving a little wave and trying not to cringe at the sound of your voice in the microphone. “I'm gonna sing a song that I love, and hope I don't butcher it entirely.”

You laughed softly as the Bear crowd cheered, someone giving you a whistle. The alcohol-induced confidence took over you as the music started, and you decided to just embrace the moment as you held the microphone.

‘All the lights in Miami begin to gleam

Ruby, blue and green, neon too

Everything looks better from above my king

Like aquamarine, ocean's blue

Ah ah ah ah

Cacciatore

La da da da da

Limousines

Ah ah ah ah

Ciao amore

La da da da da

Soft ice cream’

Any lingering nerves you had disappeared when you looked over to your table and heard cheers, your eyes meeting Carmy's for a moment. His gaze was totally focused on you, your heart beating faster as you continued the song, feeling a little more confident as you kept your gaze on him.

‘Catch me if you can

Working on my tan

Salvatore

Dying by the hand

Of a foreign man

Happily

Calling out my name

In the summer rain

Ciao amore

Salvatore can wait

Now it's time to eat

Soft ice cream’

You felt like you were in a daze as the song ended, smiling when there was a round of applause and making your way back to the table. Richie squeezed your shoulder and went to get you a drink, which you knew would have you fully committing to a hangover but you didn't care.

“You were incredible,” Carmy whispered in your ear, low and warm. “I had no idea you could sing.”

“Really?” You grinned, turning your head and meeting his eyes. “Well I guess I'm just full of surprises.”

A couple of hours later, you found yourself trying not to fall asleep in the back of an Uber, your head on Carmy's shoulder. You were drunk, but not so much that you had lost all sense of yourself. Instead you felt pleasantly buzzed and sleepy, wanting to fall into your bed and stay there forever.

“We're here,” Carm gently squeezed your shoulder, dragging you from your drifting thoughts. “Let's go.”

You let him help you out of the car, your arm linked with his as he led you to the door of your building. It took a minute to remember the code to the door, but you got there in the end, laughing to yourself when it worked.

“Now I just need to remember what number my apartment is,” You sighed as you pushed the button for the elevator, grinning as Carmy gave you a deadpan look. “Kidding, don't worry.”

When you reached your front door, you expected Carmy to give a polite excuse and leave, even though that was the last thing you wanted him to do. When he didn't, you tried not to look too pleased, holding the door open for him and taking a deep breath.

“Where's your kitchen?” Carm asked, turning to you as you closed the door. “I'll get you some water.”

“Just through there,” You smiled, gesturing to the door on your left. “I'm gonna go change.”

You went into your bedroom, leaving the door open and flicking on the light. You peeled off your clothes and dropped them into/close enough to the laundry hamper before heading to the chest of drawers and pulling open a drawer. You rifled through until you found a pair of simple blue pajamas, pulling on the t-shirt then the shorts.

When you turned around Carm was heading through the door, glancing around the room before placing the glass of water on your nightstand. He turned to look at you and you felt your heart leap from your chest.

“Stay,” You asked, or rather requested, feeling a little embarrassed by your firmness. “I mean..if you want, you can stay. It's pretty late.”

“Oh, uh..okay,” Carmy nodded, and you found yourself relaxing a little. “Sure. I can crash on the couch.”

“Don't be stupid,” You smiled, gesturing to your double, albeit a small double, bed. “It's alright, I don't bite.”

Carm looked concerned for a moment before he laughed and shook his head.

“Ah what the hell. It's one night.”

“Don't sound too offended to share my bed,” You teased, walking over to the nightstand and picking up the glass. “Not just anyone gets that privilege.”

“I'm flattered,” Carm laughed softly, rubbing his neck. “Just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“You couldn't if you tried,” You insisted, gently touching his arm before sitting down on your bed. “Now hurry up, I'm exhausted.”

A couple of moments later, Carm was down to his shorts, and you tried not to stare. He turned out the light before you could hear him crossing the room. You slipped under the covers, your breath catching as you felt him get in beside you.

“Comfortable?” You asked, turning onto your side and resting your hand under your pillow.

“Yeah,” Carmy nodded, laying on his back. You could just about make him out in the dark, the lingering scent of his cologne, cigarettes and beer feeling heady and desirable. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome,” You murmured softly, taking a breath. “tonight was really fun..I can't really remember the last time I had a night out.”

“Me too,” Carm sighed softly, the mattress dipping slightly as he turned to face you. “I'll pay for it tomorrow, I feel the hangover creeping over the horizon.”

“That's the downside to getting older,” You shrugged softly. “You start to feel hungover before you've even gone to sleep.”

“Well you would know,” Carm retorted. “You old, old man.”

You gasped and reached out to lightly swat his arm, smiling as he laughed.

“That is uncalled for. I'm old, not old old.”

“Is there a difference?” Carm asked, his voice dropping low as he nestled into the pillow.

“Not really,” You murmured softly, your hand resting on the gap in the mattress. “But I stand by my actions.”

“Never had you pegged as violent,” Carm murmured, his hand resting close to yours. “Learning so much about you.”

“Hey I can't give away all my secrets,” You smiled softly, moving your hand ever so slightly closer to his. “I like being a little mysterious.”

“I like that,” Carmy laughed softly, his hand moving to lay gently on top of yours. “But I like everything about you so..hardly a surprise.”

You were quiet for a moment, a tired smile forming on your face.

“I like everything about you too,” You murmured softly, feeling like you could see Carm clearly even in the darkness.

“Hardly a surprise.”

He let out a gentle laugh, his thumb gently stroking over your hand. You felt your heart fly into your mouth, like you were suddenly wide awake and able to see through the alcohol-induced haze.

“We should get some sleep.”

The words had your heart dropping back into your stomach, your mouth turning dry.

“Uh..yeah, yeah we should,” You murmured, closing your eyes and trying not to feel so disappointed. “Sweet dreams.”

Before you knew it the mattress had dipped again, and his hand was gone from yours.

Carmy was already gone when you woke up the next morning, and you decided to try and put the memories of his hand on yours to rest.

For the next week at work, you felt like you weren't really yourself. Maybe it was subconscious, but you found yourself avoiding Carmy where possible. You sat at the opposite end of the table to him at family dinner, you stopped going for a smoke after work, and only really interacted with him in a professional manner. You could see he was confused by the change, and you hoped he would understand. In time you'd be like you were, you just needed time for your feelings to dissolve.

The following Saturday, you felt like you were going through the motions at work, flicking the customer service switch on when you needed to. Any time you'd gone into the kitchen Carm had looked at you with a smile and you had forced yourself to look away, guilt eating away at you.

Then it happened.

The worst possible situation you could find yourself in.

The front door had opened and you looked up from the reservations list to greet the latest visitors, your heart sinking as you saw who it was.

Your ex-boyfriend, someone you had very carefully avoided for months was walking towards you with a woman holding onto his arm and giggling. She looked beautiful, was probably a decent, kind person. You wondered how long it would be before she realized who exactly she was dating.

It took every ounce of self control you had to stay professional, to smile and greet the pair. The reservation was under her name, and you knew it was a purposely chosen move. He lived on the other side of town, there was no way he would just happen to come to the Bear if you didn't work there, you knew it.

After taking them to their table, you found Richie and told him you needed a moment, which he granted you. You went to the bathroom and locked yourself in a cubicle, leaning against the door.

He was out there, you couldn't avoid him. You imagined Richie getting their drinks, finding them to be a charming, loved up couple. Because your ex was great at making people think that. He was charming and witty and romantic, on the surface. Until you were alone with him.

You made your way back out to the floor, trying to focus on work. When you had to go into the kitchen you felt overwhelmed by the heat, the smells, the voices coming from every direction. You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath. A moment later, you felt a hand on your back, your eyes opening and your heart calming as you met Carmy's gaze.

“Hey,” He smiled softly, raising a brow. “You good?”

“Yeah,” You nodded softly, wanting to touch his arm to ground yourself but forcing yourself not to. “I'm good.”

Back on the floor, you felt like you were in a daze. Any time you had to go to your ex's table it was like torture. He was perfectly polite, didn't give any indication he knew you, but you could feel his eyes burning into you.

After you took another small break to compose yourself, you left the bathroom and let out a gasp as you found your ex in the vestibule. You wanted to run to the door, go back to the floor. As you went to leave however, he grabbed your wrist, and you wanted to scream.

“Just gonna leave without saying hello properly?”

“Let me go,” You snapped, looking back at him and trying to pull your wrist free from his grasp. “Now.”

“What's the rush?” Your ex grinned, and you felt sick. “Let's have a little catch up. This where you been since you ran off?”

“I said let me go,” You repeated, gasping when your ex stepped forward and shoved you against the wall. He kept his hand on your wrist, his other hand resting on the wall by your head.

“Not so hasty hm?” Your ex smiled, tilting his head. “I think you owe me an explanation.”

“I don't owe you anything!” You snapped, trying to push him away and failing. “Get off me or I'll scream.”

“Oh try it,” Your ex laughed. “Your theatrics never worked before and they won't work now. “Now, maybe you want to tell me why you left? I never did get an explanation, did I?”

You opened your mouth to scream, the sound immediately muffled as your ex's hand clamped over your mouth, a furious look in his eyes.

“Don't you fucking dare,” He snapped, his hand pressing harder. “Nobody disrespect me, certainly not you. Look at you, you're pathetic.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, panic setting in. You knew what he was capable of, and you wouldn't be able to go back onto the floor if he lost control and left bruises.

The main door began to push open, your ex immediately stepping back from you while you tried to quickly compose yourself. You felt a sense of relief when Richie walked in, your heart racing as you spotted Carmy walk in behind him.

“Everything okay?” Richie asked, looking over to you. “You were gone a while,” He looked over to your ex, skeptically, before looking back to you. “Just wanted to see if you were good to get back out.”

“Yes,” You nodded, taking a deep breath and avoiding meeting anyone's eyes. “Apologies, chef. I'll head back out.”

“She will in a second,” Your ex smiled, reaching out to grab your wrist, his fingers digging into your skin. “We're old friends, just catching up.”

“Well I have to go,” You murmured, trying to subtly free yourself and feeling fresh tears well up as your ex tightened his grip. “So..”

“Right,” Richie nodded, his eyes on your ex while you briefly met Carmy's gaze. “I'll escort you back to your table, sir.”

“Yeah, in a minute,” Your ex nodded, pulling you closer to him. “We just have some things to discuss.”

“Please don't do this,” You muttered, tears filling your vision, trying to pull your wrist free as your ex grabbed your arm firmly.

“Hey,” You heard Carmy's voice and looked down at the ground, trying to compose yourself. “I need my staff to get back to work, and I need you to get the fuck out of my restaurant.”

“Fuck yes cousin,” Richie nodded. “He's out.”

“I don't think so,” Your ex laughed, squeezing your arm harder. “I'm a paying customer, show some respect.”

“Show some respect?” Carmy repeated, a harsh edge in his voice. “I'm giving you a chance to leave quietly, I suggest you take it.”

“Or what?” Your ex smirked, stepping closer to you. “I'll leave when I want. Like I said, we're catching up.”

“That's it,” Carmy sighed, stepping closer. “Get the fuck out of my restaurant right now before I have you forcibly removed.”

You let out a gasp as you were pushed back against the wall, everything happening in a blur. You could hear Carm and Richie saying something as they grabbed your ex and pulled him off you. Richie hauled him outside before Carmy's hand was in yours, guiding you out into the restaurant and through the kitchen, the two of you finally ending up in his office.

“Sit down,” Carm gestured to the desk chair. “I'll go get you some water.”

“No,” You insisted, reaching out to touch his arm. “Please. Don't leave me alone.”

Carm was quiet for a moment before he nodded, stepping closer to you and wrapping his arms around you. You buried your face in his neck, clinging to him as you tried to stop your tears to no avail.

You weren't sure how much time passed, but before you knew it it was closing time. You assured Carm you were okay before you went to help Richie out front, giving him a nod as he gave you a concerned look.

When it came time to leave, you clutched your keys tightly in your hand, making your way to your car and taking a deep breath. You felt like you couldn't breathe properly until you arrived back home and checked every room. Your ex didn't know where you lived, but it didn't stop you feeling a little paranoid.

After getting ready for bed, you decided to stay up a little longer, settling on the couch to watch a movie. While you were scrolling through Netflix your phone rang, and the brief panic that hit you subsided when you saw it was Carmy calling you.

“Hey,” You smiled softly as you answered, picking up one of the cushions and holding it against you. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, all good,” Carm replied, and you could swear you heard traffic in the background. “Could you let me into your building? I didn't want to buzz, just in case.”

“Oh,” You glanced to the door before slowly standing up. “Uh..yeah, yeah just give me a second.”

You set the cushion down and walked to the door, pushing the button to open the door.

“Come on up, I'll see you in a second.”

You ended the call, taking a step back from the door and clutching your phone. When there was a knock at your door you took a second before opening it.

“Hey, come in,” You stepped aside, giving a quick glance out to the hall before closing the door and turning to Carmy.

“Are you sure everything is okay?”

“Of course,” Carm nodded, rubbing his cheek. “I uh..I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I was going to offer you ride home but I thought I might be being too much and you would be uncomfortable which is fair then I couldn't stop thinking about you and I thought I should-”

You held up your hand with a smile, tilting your head slightly.

“I'm glad you're here. I probably would have ended up calling you anyway so..it's fine. I'm just trying to find a movie, I'm open to suggestions.”

An hour later, you were sitting on the couch with your head on Carm's shoulder, his arm around your waist. You were only half focused on the movie, too busy enjoying Carm's presence after isolating yourself for a week. Cuddling up to him wouldn't help you dissolve your feelings but you were willing to overlook that, given recent events.

“Damn,” Carm murmured softly, his hand gently stroking your waist. “I guess they'll have to take down the government after all.”

“What?” You raised a brow, looking over to him.

“I knew you weren't paying attention,” Carmy laughed softly, looking at you with a grin.

“Oh shut up,” You rolled your eyes playfully. “it's not my fault it can't hold my attention. Got other things on my mind.”

“Yeah,” Carm nodded, clearing his throat and looking up for a moment. “I uh..I wanted to ask, how are you feeling after..after tonight?”

You thought about it for a moment, looking over to the TV and letting out a soft sigh.

“I feel like it was some kind of surreal dream. I don't hear so much as a whisper for months, almost a year, then suddenly he's just there..but I really appreciate what you did,” You looked back to Carmy, gently touching his arm. “I hate that you had to get involved in my drama but..thank you.”

“Don't mention it,” Carm looked back to you. “I wasn't going to stand back and let it happen. You don't deserve to be treated like that. You deserve..I don't know, the universe.”

“The universe?” You repeated, smiling softly. “That's a lot to handle but..if I'm deserving of it I guess I'll learn to handle the responsibility.”

“That's my girl,” Carm smiled, and you felt a knot twist in your stomach at how much the words made your heart leap. “You deserve it and more.”

“Could you..could you not say that?” You murmured softly, taking a deep breath and feeling guilty when Carm immediately looked like he'd regretted everything he'd ever done.

“It wasn't bad, I just..I want you to say those things but I also don't because it's just going to give me more feelings for you and I really can't even handle the ones I already have so..”

“You have feelings for me,” Carm murmured softly, and you weren't sure whether it was a question or a statement, looking away from him. “I..I had no idea. I mean, I didn't think you hated me but..you were so distant this week I thought I'd done something to you.”

“No, never,” You insisted, trying not to cry at how badly you felt you were handling the situation. “I just thought I could get rid of my feelings if I wasn't around you so much, that's all.”

“Why didn't you just tell me?” Carm asked softly, his hand on your waist feeling more prominent. “Am I so unapproachable? Oh god, am I unapproachable? That's it isn't it? You thought I would like flip out or something, and I swear I never would, not at you, ever.”

“I know,” You nodded, looking back at him. “I just..I didn't want to make things awkward. I'm not in high school, I don't want to act like I am. I may as well have gotten Syd to pass you a note from me, check the box if you like me kinda vibe.”

“Don't you want to know if I would have ticked the box?” Carm asked, his tone gentle. “Because I would have. Every time.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head and looking up.

“Damn, guess I should have sent you the none then hm?”

“Well there's still time,” Carm smiled as you looked back at him. “Though I can't guarantee Syd wouldn't just chuck it in the trash. You know when you started she told me not to fall in love with you because the restaurant needs you more than I do?”

“Good thing you didn't then,” You smiled, leaning in a little closer and resting your hand on Carm's cheek. “I can stay.”

You leaned in and closed the gap between you, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He hesitated for a moment before kissing you back, surging forward.

Your arms wrapped around Carm's neck as he eased you onto your back, the kiss deepening. All the stress of the evening melted away as you felt Carm touch you carefully, smiling into the kiss as you reached for the hem of his white t-shirt and tugged it up.

It didn't like long to have Carm completely stripped, a frown on his face as he looked at you.

“Well this isn't a fair trade.”

“No?” You smiled, picking at your pajama top. “ Well I'm not stopping you leveling the field.”

It took a little longer for you to be stripped, your breath catching in your throat as Carm took his time removing your pajamas, leaving a trail of kisses on your skin as he did. You felt exposed, laying on the couch in your deeply unsexy mismatched bra and panties, but in the most wonderful way.

“Still not quite even,” You smiled softly, reaching out to gently stroke Carm's cheek and beaming when he leaned down to kiss you, his hand gripping your waist.

“You're right,” Carm murmured softly, pulling back and meeting your eyes. “It's not fair.”

He sat back, his hand slowly moving down to grip the waistband of your panties. You kept your eyes on him as he slowly peeled them down your thighs, stopping after a moment.

“Close enough.” He grinned,his hands moving to your thighs and lifting them up. Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched him move between your legs, closing your eyes as he slowly spread your legs, feeling the material of your panties rub against your leg.

“Oh god,” You breathed as you felt Carm lick a stripe along your already soaked folds, his hands gripping your thighs and holding you in place. His movements were achingly slow as he licked you, one of his hands slowly moving along your thigh.

It had been a long while since you'd felt so good, a wave slowly building in your stomach. Any urge to beg for more was dissolved as you felt Carm's finger gently sweep across your entrance, his tongue swirling your clit. You couldn't focus on anything, your hand moving to his curls as he eased his finger into your warm entrance, your eyes clenching shut as moans tumbled from your lips.

By the time he added a second finger you felt like you were ready to fall apart, his tongue moving slowly but precisely, exactly where you needed without having to tell him.

“Oh, fuck,” You moaned as you felt yourself get closer to the edge, your free hand clamping over your forehead. “Please..I..ohh my god..”

You felt your eyes roll back into your head, your breath catching in your throat as you came, feeling like you could see stars.

You wasted no time in pulling Carm up to you, tasting yourself on his lips and letting out a moan at the sensation. He pulled at your bra straps, tugging down your bra and rolling your nipple between his thumb and finger.

“Please,” You murmured against his lips, your forehead hot against his. “Fuck me, now, please..”

“Are you sure?” Carm asked, giving you another kiss as he moved his hand down between your legs, a moan escaping you as he touched your sensitive pussy.

“We can go to your bed, or wait, or..”

“Carm,” You breathed, opening your eyes and looking at him. “Please..I can't wait. I'm on the pill, it's fine, just..please.”

He met your gaze, a look in his eyes you hadn't seen before that had you soaked even more instantly.

“Use your words,” He murmured softly, two fingers pushing back into you as you moaned. “What does my girl want?”

“Oh god,” You groaned, wanting to stay in the moment forever. “I want..I want you to fuck me, now.”

“Anything my girl wants,” Carm grinned, slowly easing his fingers out of you and replacing them with his thick cock, another moan escaping you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your legs hooked around his waist, wanting him as close as possible.

You felt like everything fell away around you as Carm moved slowly, getting you used to the feel of him, before he was pulling you up into his lap, his lips wrapping around your hard nipple as your nails dug into your shoulders, his hands on your waist encouraging you to set the pace.

By the time the two of you were laying on the couch, catching your breath with your arms lazily draped around each other, you wondered when you'd last been so unbearably happy.

“I'll understand if you immediately run away when I say this,” You looked over to Carm with a smile. “But.

I love you.”

He looked over to you, a wide smile on his face as he moved closer, his arm wrapping firmly around your waist.

“I love you too. Which is a shame, I guess. Gotta find a new hostess now.”

“Yeah, sucks to be you,” You grinned, moving your hand into Carm's hair. “Though before you fire me could you help me fulfill this little fantasy I have of fucking my boss at work?”

“I guess I could,” Carm grinned, leaning in to place a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Let's get in some more practice shall we?”

#the bear #the bear 🐻#the bear fic #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #request #we got there eventually

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dearsnow · 3 months

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MANIC MOVES & DROWSY DREAMS (3)

- after discovering something that forces all of your relationship’s problems to the surface, you seek solace in your only potential friend in san diego. (bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem!reader, hurt with future comfort, part of the series “out of touch” ⚠️ ADULT TOPICS, please be 18+ to read)

OUT OF TOUCH: It’s been twenty years since you last saw Bradley Bradshaw, and, suddenly, you realize he’s finally grown up.

word count: 3,110

a/n - this chapter is lowkey crazy 😭 i hope y’all enjoy because i’ve had a blast writing this. the next chapter might take a bit to write up because i need to plan out the rest of the series, but it hopefully shouldn’t take tooo long!!

The next few days were relatively uneventful as you attempted to get your life in perfect working order. There were a few visits from the navy men, with Fanboy (who you learned was actually named Mickey) being one of your best customers until he witnessed firsthand your boyfriend giving you flowers and a peck on the cheek. He seemed a bit crestfallen after that, but you knew he would perk up eventually. He hadn’t gone through it for nothing, though- you always slipped him an extra cookie sample when he came by.

The best part of your life was not interviewing potential employees or ordering more vintage tables, but instead, it was Derick. He was truly your rock in the midst of a change that otherwise would’ve thrown you into chaos.

He handled your calls, he mopped the floors and shined the counter, and he took you on amazing dates. You can firmly say that you’ve never had a boyfriend as respectful and supportive as him.

Too respectful, however, is an ever-present problem.

You’ve been with him for almost fifteen years and you can reasonably count the times he’s been anything other than a perfect family-friendly gentleman. If you look back on it, it was probably around fifty-two instances.

That seems like a lot, but spread out over fifteen years of young adult antics, it’s almost like he didn’t want to be intimate. He didn’t want to make out, or put a hand just a bit too low on your waist, or do anything passionate or fiery or heated. He just wanted dinner dates, a kiss on the cheek, and a hand to hold. You were fine with that, because in essence, that’s what you needed at the time, right? Stability. Comfort. Romance. Someone to wipe away your insecurities and hold you down at ground level.

A lingering thought, always bouncing around in the back of your mind, whispers that it shouldn’t take hours of tempting and teasing for a guy to want you.

You ignore all of that for right now. Derick is currently sitting across the table from you at the fanciest restaurant in the area.

Fancy places always make you a little nervous. You’re afraid to say the wrong thing or mispronounce a word on the menu, and your dresses get rumpled as you fidget with them. Even your nail polish doesn’t survive as you pick at the edges with your thumb. Derick smiles.

“What are you thinking about ordering?” He asks, setting his own menu down. You cease your picking and clear your throat. He looks especially nice tonight, with his dark hair gelled back and his black suit nice and crisp. It doesn’t quite fit with your dress, though you suppose it doesn’t need to.

“Uh, the caprese salad sounds good.” It’s the cheapest thing on the menu. He always pays, but you know that he gets a bit bothered when the bill racks up too high. You’ve offered to pay for yourself numerous times, but he waves the suggestion away, even when his face makes it known that he doesn’t want to.

“I make more money than you, babe, just let me take care of it.”

You try to smile sweetly, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. If he can tell, he doesn’t show it.

“Sounds good. I’m having the truffle alfredo myself.” He flags down a waiter, and you shrink a bit in your seat.

You can tell that this night is going to be another awkward one. After being with someone for so long, you come to expect certain things. Despite that, you wouldn’t trade this stability for anything. He makes good money, he buys you gifts, and once or twice a year, he’ll even sleep with you. What more could a girl want?

Bradley hasn’t had stability in a long time. He has a home in San Diego, sure, but going out for drinks every once and a while with people who have vastly different schedules isn’t really enough to make him want to stay. In truth, he almost misses being deployed because, at least then, he has a purpose.

When he saw you, he thought he might have an opportunity to right a wrong that has been tearing him up inside. He despises what he was like as a teenager, taking nothing seriously except his dreams to be a naval aviator. He’s learned throughout his life that everything matters, especially the feelings of other people, and even the small, mundane things he couldn’t care less about. The small, mundane things are what keep the world working.

He’s sitting on his couch, enjoying a small, mundane thing (a shitty reality show with acting so bad it makes him laugh) when an unknown number lights up his phone. He perks up, staring at the number as the reality show carries on. It’s probably just a spam number, but on the off chance it’s you, he picks up.

“Hello?” He hates how shaky his voice sounds. Just the idea of you sets his nerves on fire.

“I need a friend,” your soft voice mumbles. “Where can we meet? A place that serves strong alcohol would be preferable.”

Right after your early dinner date with Derick, you walked into your shared apartment, boxes lining every walkway. You really ought to have put everything away more quickly, but after a long day’s work, all you and your boyfriend could seem to do was pull out a few objects and give them a place in your new living quarters.

He immediately went to take a shower, as he usually did after a long day, and placed his locked phone on your nightstand. You collapsed onto your bed and looked up at the ceiling, still dressed, and began to dread opening shop in the morning. You love the cafe, but your lack of employees hits harder every day.

Derick had been handling most of the hiring process, with the good majority of the interviewees being his connections. It was helpful having a business major boyfriend, as his college networking and current accountant networking proved extremely useful for managing an actual business. He was always so enthusiastic about helping you run the place. You seriously don’t know what you would do without him.

His phone lit up next to you with a series of texts. You lazily let your gaze drift over to see what was going on. He wouldn’t mind if you checked who was texting, right? When you picked up his phone, the name that popped up was “employee candidate 4”. You smiled to yourself; Derick was so responsible, you thought. He must have given the candidates his number to see if they needed anything.

You unlocked his phone with your thumbprint, which you so sneakily added to his password bank a few months ago when you first started collaborating on the cafe’s business plan. What you saw made your heart drop down to the floor, splintering into a million little pieces that got stuck in your fresh linoleum.

Bradley hands you another drink, a strong one at that, and you gulp half of it down in one breath. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

You look up at him through your eyelashes, makeup half-rubbed off from tears and friction. The sun began to set when you first entered, and in the dimming light, Bradley could tell that you were rattled. You still are, evidently. He waits for a moment before you clear your throat and offer a few gut-punching words.

“I checked my boyfriend’s phone.” He can tell where this is going. He doesn’t want it to be true, because who in their right mind would cheat on you?

“What was on it?” He prompts gently. You take another breath. You don’t want to dump this all on someone that you barely know, with the only history you have being a failed almost-relationship when you were teenagers, but you don’t have anyone else. When you moved to San Diego, you left everything behind, including your friends and family. You haven’t even talked to your friends in ages, as you’ve been so busy with the cafe and Derick that you couldn’t so much as call them. The idea of having Bradley nurse your broken heart is both gut-wrenching and just a little bit like a dream.

“A lot. I… I don’t want to ruin your night by bothering you. I should go.” You try to stand up from your bar stool, but he catches your wrist in his warm hands.

He shakes his head, eyebrows creased. “Just tell me. I’m here for you; I meant what I said in the cafe.” You nod, fresh tears welling up in your eyes as you sit down.

“I’ll get a few drinks in me first.”

You keep your word, managing to take down a sizable amount of alcohol within a few minutes. It’s not enough to get you passing out or throwing up, but enough to loosen your lips.

“Do you want to know what I saw?” Your face is warm, either from the alcohol or Bradley’s hand on your back. “Twenty-eight photos of his dick. It isn’t even good enough to warrant one photo, Bradley, one! None of them were sent to me, of course. Just the girls he would chat up online and fuck.” The words tumble out of your mouth, every pent-up frustration making its way into the light of the bar. “I looked through his search history, too, and then our finances, because I was suspicious of everything at that point. I found four subscriptions to porn sites in our bills and three more for online dating premium memberships. Who the fuck even needs a premium membership? God. I hate him.”

“Slow down, princess.” He says. His lips are quirked into a small smile as you ramble on and on about every small thing Derick has ever done to piss you off. “He seems like a real piece of work.”

“He is! He so is. I never get to order what I want, he always makes me feel responsible for his mistakes, and not once has he made me finish. I mean, we’ve had sex maybe twice in the last two years because he can’t get it up. Probably because he’s been sticking his dick in STD central.” Those last few items slip through your internal filter, but even in your state, you recognize that you probably shouldn’t be talking about your sex life with a guy you re-met a few days ago. “Sorry. That was personal.”

Bradley lifts his shoulders in a shrug. “Nothin’ I can’t handle. I can’t believe you stayed with him that long when he can’t do a single thing for you. If you were my girl, you wouldn’t know a day without pleasure.” It’s his turn to be embarrassed about what he said, but as his cheeks turn red, you don’t even seem to notice.

If you were his girl, he thinks, he’d treat you so well. He’d actually get you your favorite flowers instead of the ones he thinks would look nice in the aesthetic of your apartment, and he’d cook for you, and he’d never make you feel bad for loving him.

“Exactly.” You say. “He just wanted someone to come home to without even thinking about how I would feel. I wanted stability, and he gave me that, but nothing else.” You suddenly sound sober, but the tears are back, and they’re stronger than ever. “I loved him.” You choke out. “I don’t think I could ever get something better, not after so long.”

Bradley feels bad for even considering picking you up after this. You’re distraught, more than he’s ever seen anyone before. It’s clear that this is something you’re going to take a while to heal from. “You can and you will. He’s a dick, and I’m sorry you wasted so much time on him, but you will find some kind of relationship that deserves you. You can have a fresh start, and he’ll just be another asshole that you put in your past.”

You nod, taking in his words as you sip your soda. Bradley cut you off a while ago, which you’re eternally grateful for. If you had one more sip of alcohol, you think you'd either be dancing on a table or crying on the floor. Now, at least you’re crying upright in a stool, with the man across from you handing you tissues once in a while. The lady running the bar seems to know him, and she also seems to know that an endless supply of tissues is necessary for you tonight.

The doors of the bar open, and though you don’t want to peel yourself away from the sight of someone caring about you, you turn around anyway. When you do, your blood runs cold.

Bradley sees you stiffen and follows your line of sight to the person that just walked in. He’s handsome, in a way, with short, dark brown hair and a five-o-clock shadow. He seems like the stuck-up type. Your eyes are blown wide at the sight as the man walks over, a sort of fake concern lacing his expression.

“Baby-“

“Don’t fucking call me that, Derick. How did you even find me?” Oh. The soon-to-be ex. Bradley sits up on his stool, pulling himself to a position where he can easily stand if the moment calls for it.

Derick pulls out his phone sheepishly. “You left your location on.”

Goddamnit. Fuck.

“Get out. I don’t want to see you right now.” You’re seething, the anger coming off you in waves. You think that if you weren’t angry, you’d be sad, and you can’t handle that right now. The devastation of finding out your boyfriend is a freak and a cheater is something you just opened the box to, and you don’t feel like unpacking it in front of him.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He protests. “They didn’t mean anything to me. I love you, and I want to marry you, and I’ll never do it again. I- I have the ring right here, see?” He pulls out a familiar velvet-lined box, and you scoff.

“You should’ve thought about that before you cheated. Multiple times.”

Bradley stands up, placing a soothing hand between your shoulder blades. “Leave, man. She’s made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want you here.”

Derick bristles, his pasty face tinged red with anger. Bradley almost rolls his eyes at how small he looks. “You don’t need to stick up for her.” He takes a step forward. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were fucking her behind my back. That’s what this is, isn’t it? An excuse for you to leave me because some navy fucker had some nice enough sex with you?” He’s approaching fast. By the time he finishes his sentence, Derick’s fist is wrapped around your wrist tightly.

You let out a soft sound as his bruising fingers close around you, but as soon as he’s there, Bradley shoves him away and loosens his grip on you. “Okay, that’s enough. You’re either going to walk through those doors or you’re getting dragged out. I don’t care which.”

Derick scoffs. “Fine with me. I never liked you anyways.” He gives you a pointed glance, tucking the ring box into his jacket pocket.

“You have tonight to get your stuff out of the apartment that I paid for.” You say, rubbing the space between your eyebrows with your thumb. “I never want to see you again.” The second part comes out as a mumble, but he clearly gets the message.

“Fuck you.” He walks out, and the group of navy men by the door give him a dirty look. He’s more than ruined multiple peoples’ nights by this point. It went from one crying girl at a bar to the start of a bar fight in the two minutes he stood in front of you.

Bradley, concerned, gives you a soft look. “Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?”

You shake your head as more tears drip down your jaw. You hate this. You hate Derick, you hate yourself, and you hate the pitiful way Bradley is staring at you. Your California dream has turned into a nightmare. “No, but I’ll get a hotel somewhere. It’s not that big of a deal.” Your attempt to downplay the situation has Bradley on the verge of running after Derick and slapping the back of his big groomed head. You’re too nice for this, too sweet to be cheated on and forced to sleep in a cold bed that you paid $200 for.

“You can stay over at my place if you want. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I don’t want to put you out like that. It’s fine,” you assure him, though your voice is the least sure it’s ever been. “There’s a nice enough place a few streets away.”

Bradley shakes his head. His warm hand is on your shoulder, like he’s trying to ground you. “It won’t put me out. C’mon, princess, it’s not a big deal. You can rest up and we’ll figure out what else to do in the morning.”

He called you “princess” again. It’s nice, you think, in your drunken mind. Right now, you’re too tired to fight anything about the situation you’re in. “Alright. As long as you’re sure.”

He pays your tabs, slipping a look to the lady running the bar. She nods at him and mouths something that you can’t quite make out. As he leads you to his car, a nice, blue, vintage bronco, he keeps one hand on the small of your back. The heat feels nice, like you have someone securing you. Like you won’t ever stumble or fall before his strong arms catch you. He must be a real nice guy if he’s doing all this after so long.

He buckles you into your seat, and you let your head fall back onto the headrest. Your eyes close, and you desperately try not to think about what your life has come to. You feel a buzz in your jacket pocket, but you don’t pick it up. Everything is fine, you assure yourself. You didn’t just break up with the man you were going to marry, and he didn’t cheat on you, and your phone isn’t going off wildly through the fabric of your coat, and you’re not strapped into the car of your high school self’s dream boy. You ride that feeling, that denial, right into sleep.

You’ll deal with the real life problems in the morning.

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Taglist: @m1dnightsnackz @itsarabellebabes @shanimallina87 @sadgirlgiselle @callsignstingray

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serverusslaype · 5 months

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Shameless, pt. 15

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

hey guys.................. dont kill me. i'm so sorry for the incredibly lengthy hiatus.... i had no motivation, each time i opened the file to type i'd type a couple words, maybe a paragraph and close it. i finally found the motivation to finish this chapter recently, i'm hoping it stays. it's been a rough couple months, so hoping this can help me feel a bit better!!

i felt really guilty for sort of abandoning the fic where it was, but i couldn't force myself to write anything, there was no creative juice, i think i sort of burnt myself out. and for the previous posts saying i was back, i thought i was, but i'd have the smallest spark of inspiration and try to write, but then nothing happened, and i felt bad so i didn't want to say something like, sorry, i lied. :(

hopefully this chapter is okay, i know most of you won't like it, but i'm so glad i finally finished it, it was one of the hardest to write because i had so many ideas on how it'd end and effect the whole story itself, so i had to make sure it made sense.

i can't believe you guys are still here after so long, it made me emotional to see all of your asks and comments and likes, i was just floored to be honest, so thank you so much for your unwavering support. i love you all so so much. honestly. holy shit. this has been a journey. <3 i hope you guys are all doing brilliantly.

warnings: lack of snape, swearing, mentions of adultery, slight domestic violence, verbal abuse at the end

You didn't know where to go. You felt... lost. You couldn't exactly go back to your quarters, not with Ben there, you didn't need more questions about why you were crying your eyes out at this time of night. It's not like you could tell him the truth.

So, you did what anyone would: go for a midnight walk. Well, at least that's what you thought anyone would do when they had nowhere to go. You'd hoped that the fresh, cold air would soothe your burning lungs, and the gentle breeze would dry your teary eyes. In an even deeper, darker part of your mind, you also hoped that Black would find you. Perhaps that would make everything... easier.

With tears still streaming freely from your eyes and heavy feet, you padded towards the large, magnificent doors that led to the outside with your arms wrapped around your body tightly; trying your best not to breakdown until you were alone. Your hands were still shaking as you pushed them against the doors, opening it a tad as the cool wind blew through the crack and into your face. You gasped a little at the sharp breeze, but nonetheless you slipped out, and made your way into the courtyard. The temperature was a little more biting than you had anticipated, and so you squeezed your arms around yourself a little tighter, walking towards the infamous wooden, crooked bridge.

As you sauntered through the courtyard, the only noises you heard were the owls hooting in the distance, the gentle breeze brushing through the burnt-amber leaved trees and the faint clack of your heels against the cobblestoned ground. In all honesty, it did feel a little eerie to the say the least, but at this very moment that was the least of your worries. All you wanted was a little time alone to cry, or grieve what could have been with ...Severus.

Gods, it hurt to even think his name, let alone speak it.

You reached the wooden bridge, and you stopped in the middle of it; leaning against the intricately carved columns to gaze out at the highlands. The moonlight casted a gorgeous glaze-like reflection upon the Black Lake, and it twinkled beautifully, almost hypnotising you like an illusion. Your eyes flicked up to the moon and glanced around it, staring at the glittering stars surrounding it like a perfect painting. Only times like this did you miss teaching Astronomy. As your mind reeled back to your first year teaching at Hogwarts, you relished in the time where you did not know the man named Severus Snape, and suddenly your heart sank in your chest like an anchor dropped at sea. You were so naive back then, unknowing of what was to come.

As the memories of you and Severus flooded your mind like a dam breaking, you let yourself cry. You could still feel his lips on yours, his fingertips gently tracing the curves and grooves of your skin, the words he'd whispered into your ear - it was all there, stained on your skin, like a tattoo - or perhaps a branding. And now you had to live with it. You weren't sure if you'd survive this time, especially not with how deeply you felt for him. You were torn between pretending he didn't exist and trying to talk to him, perhaps even telling him how you felt, but truth be told you were petrified of how he'd react. Would he even look at you again with those glittering black eyes you'd come to adore so hopelessly? Would he dare speak to you again, knowing that he'd charmed you? Maybe he'd relish in the fact that he'd done so, take pride in bewitching you, and make you hurt for it. You knew Snape could be rather cruel, your school days here with him as your teacher was enough for you to know that.

All these unanswered questions swam through your head and you felt yourself becoming suffocated from them, and it suddenly felt as if your lungs had filled with water, drowning you. You sobbed helplessly as you slid down the wooden wall behind you with your hands against your face, the rough edges scratching your back through your clothes rather uncomfortably.

"Y/N?" A voice came from beside you, and you froze. You turned your head away from them and quickly used your sleeve to wipe your eyes, drying the tears that had fallen from them. Only one person has a voice as soft as the one you had just heard.

You gave yourself a moment to gather yourself before even attempting to use your voice.

"Hello, Remus." You croaked quietly, sniffling.

"What on Earth are you doing out here so late?" He questioned gently, and you heard him take a step towards you. "Are you alright?"

"Quite dandy," you sarcastically quipped, sighing deeply, "I'm brilliant..." You turned your head to face him, and immediately, his face softened at the sight of your own. You were sat up against the side of the bridge, knees up against your chest and your arms wrapped around them; nose and eyes red, wet with tears. Remus quickly dropped down to his knees beside you, placing a soothing hand upon your forearm.

"What happened?" Remus asked, careful to keep his voice quiet and soft. With empty eyes, you stared into his worried ones, and instantly you felt terrible. The last thing you wanted was people worrying over you.

You looked away, down at the ground. "I..." you mumbled, sighing, "it's a... long... story." You spoke slowly. From the corner of your eye, you saw a small smile quirk up on Remus's lips.

"I've got time, my dear." He replied as his thumb brushed your forearm, silently encouraging you to talk. You felt at ease in Remus's presence, it was almost like he had a calm aura around him, and naturally your body relaxed beside his. You took a deep breath.

"Erm," you choked, sniffling again, "it's Se... Snape." You couldn't bring yourself to say his first name without crumbling into a million pieces.

Remus let out a gentle breath. "Snape, of course," He tutted, glancing between you and the ground. "What's he done?" The fact that Remus reacted like he had expected Snape to have hurt you, further broke your heart. Were you the only one to have seen through his icy exterior?

"Broken my heart," You laughed dryly, and you had to fight back another bout of tears. Remus's brows furrowed in confusion at you. "We... I... Look, I'm not sure how to explain this to you. But... I fell..." You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence. Your heart hurt too much. You only hoped that Remus knew what you were about to say.

Remus blinked and stared at you, shocked. Clearly, the two of you had hidden your 'relationship' well - so well that everyone was oblivious to it. "You fell...?" He frowned.

"In love... with him..." You almost whispered, avoiding Remus's eyes. You weren't sure if you'd be able to handle the look in them.

"You're in love with... Severus?" Remus repeated, and you squeezed your eyes shut at his words. They were like daggers, stabbing your bleeding heart. It was almost like you could feel it trembling inside of your chest, begging you to free it from this cycle of torment. "But... Aren't you with... Ben? And... Severus... he's..."

"I know," you sighed, noticing his confusion, "I had feelings for Severus before I met Ben. And it sort of just, like, spiralled out of control, and now, erm, here I am- Gods, I should have just listened to Minerva, I wouldn't be here right now, hurting like this." You ranted, another strangled sob leaving your throat. Remus watched you, and his eyes softened. He felt terrible for you. "She warned me, Remus, why didn't I just listen to her?!" You cried, letting your head fall into your hands.

"Y/N," Remus whispered, reaching out a cautious hand to pry your face from your hands. With a soft gasp, you looked up with teary eyes, and he wiped a stray tear from your cheek. "We don't get to choose who we do and don't fall in love with. We follow our hearts blindly, most of the time, unknowingly." He said, and moved his hand from your wet cheek to your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. "It's beyond our control who we love."

There was a moment of silence.

"...What do I do, Remus?" You sobbed softly, sniffling, looking at your knees.

"Have you told him?"

"No."

"I think you should."

"But what about Ben? Shouldn't I... deal with... that first?" You sniffled again. "And what if Severus doesn't feel the same way about me? Then what?"

Remus paused for a moment, thinking. You looked up at him. "What if he does?" He said, a small, comforting smile tickling his lips as he stared at you.

"Well- from the way he treated me earlier... I truly doubt it, Remus." You scoffed, glancing away from his pitying brown eyes.

Remus sighed, and you clenched your jaw. "Regret is a terrible thing, Y/N," he said, "it's such a short word, yet it stretches on forever." Your eyes were glued on the ground and your body was still, but your mind was running a million miles an hour.

You sat there in silence for a short moment, thinking deeply. Remus was right. You'd regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't tell Severus how you felt. That chance of him reciprocating your feelings was small, but it was still there. If he didn't feel the same, fine, you'd move on. Eventually. And if he did?...

"...Alright," You nodded sheepishly. "I'll tell him. I just... need to, erm, work out when and more specifically, how. Like, do I just straight up blurt it out? Work my way up to it? H-how do you know it's the right time?" You rambled with tears still falling from your eyes, glancing through them at Remus who sat beside you with a soft expression upon his features.

"You'll know." Was all he said before slowly standing and holding out a hand for you to take. Graciously, you took it, and Remus pulled you to your feet. "Feel better?" He hummed, casting a glance out at the moon, then a worried look suddenly struck his eyes. You noticed and frowned slightly at his behaviour.

The moon?

"A little." You forced a smile upon your lips, and lifted up a hand to wipe the remaining stray tears upon your red cheeks. Remus looked back at you, and returned your smile. "How come you were out so late?" You asked curiously, brushing off his odd reaction to seeing a moon.

"A walk in the night does me good," Remus shrugged, and began to walk back towards the castle with you beside him. "Clears my head."

"Ah, well, I suppose I'm glad you found me, then." You chuckled awkwardly, folding your arms against your chest.

Remus smiled at you and placed an arm around your shoulders, giving you a squeeze. "Let's get you back to your quarters, Y/N, you look like an ice block." He hummed and lead you back to the castle, but not before throwing another glance over his shoulder to the almost-full-moon.

Faint, footsteps trailed down an empty corridor, and a billowing black cape followed with it. As Severus marched, his chest felt horribly heavy, almost like there was a boulder chained to it, weighing him down. He couldn't figure out why he felt like this, and it was starting to make him a little irate. He knew it was something to do with you since it had started after you'd stormed out of his office.

As Severus was about to round a corner, the sound of familiar, sweet laughter rattled through his bones, and immediately he froze. Without a doubt, he knew it was you. Only you could have laughter that sounded like the sweet songs that birds chirped in the summer mornings. The breath in his lungs suddenly vanished and he quickly swooped himself behind a bookcase, poking his head out from the side of it to see who you were with.

The moment you appeared, that boulder chained to his chest became heavier, and he felt himself lean against the bookcase he hid behind. Severus's eyes widened as they glued themselves to the man beside you - Remus Lupin. His blood boiled at the sight.

What could have Lupin have said to make you laugh like that? He'd only heard you laugh like that when you were with him, not Lupin.

From a distance, he couldn't make out what the two of you were talking about, but it was obviously hilarious. Severus's jaw clenched as he watched Lupin place a hand upon the small of your back, guiding you.

Guiding you... inside your quarters?

Snape hissed silently to himself as he stared, his sharp and hardened eyes welded to the back of Lupin's head like molten metal. As your door shut, Snape could only huff in disgust with bared teeth. What were the two of you doing in there? It was past midnight and you and Lupin seemed happy as Larry to go into your quarters. Snape couldn't bear the idea of you and Lupin alone together - let alone the fact that Lupin had had his damned, grubby paws on you. Severus clenched his jaw in a violent fashion, very clearly upset at how you'd moved on so quickly, especially with another professor at Hogwarts. Was this your thing? Bewitch every lonely professor that you laid your wretched eyes upon and then move onto the next? Did it make you feel better about yourself in some fucked up way?

An uneasy, bitter feeling twisted inside of his chest as he pictured the two of you alone and he whipped around out of spite; the swoosh of his long, black cloak filling the silent hallway. How could you move on so quickly, so... easily?

"Never did I think I'd see the day that someone told me they fell in love with a man like Severus Snape." Remus laughed softly as he waddled to your sofa, glancing at you as if to ask if it was alright to sit. You nodded at him.

"And yet here we are." You hummed with a flat mouth, clearly not as amused as your friend was. "Sometimes I wish I was as emotionally guarded as he was, but then I remember how bloody miserable that would be." You mumbled, earning an abrupt laugh from Lupin who'd settled on the couch with a soft sigh.

Ben was nowhere to be seen, so you assumed he was asleep in the bedroom.

"Severus is an interesting character, most definitely," Lupin nodded and you turned around, walking towards him to join him on the sofa. "And I applaud you for being able to tame him. If it's any consolation, only one other woman had been able to, though I think it was... unintentional, if you will."

"Unintentional?" You questioned, your tone curious. Though almost instantly, that curiosity was killed as the thought of Severus with another woman stabbed at your fragile heart. "Actually, I'm not sure if I want to hear this right now." A dry laugh slipped from your lips and you exhaled sharply as another wave of tears prickled at your waterline.

"Alright." Lupin said softly, taking notice of your quivering voice. He stood up with a breathy groan and shuffled towards you, slinking an arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. It was calming, and the way he hugged you reminded you of all the times your parents would comfort you as a child. As Lupin gave you a supportive squeeze, it was as if he'd accidently pushed the button for the waterworks - hot tears began to stream down your cheeks once again, and you sobbed quietly into his wrinkled shirt.

"Hey," Lupin sighed as he watched your shoulders shake with sorrow. His hand sat on the top of your arm, squeezing it gently: a dire attempt at consoling you. "Don't cry, Y/N, it'll pass."

"Idon'twantitto-" You mumbled into his shirt, sniffling loudly. Lupin's brows furrowed together in confusion as he paused for a brief moment, silently trying to decipher what you'd just said.

"What?" He asked gently, leaning his head down so he could hear you a little better. You lifted your head from him, sighing, another heartbreaking sniffle sneaking out of your reddened nose.

"I don't want it to." You repeated yourself, lifting a hand up to wipe your wet eyes lazily.

"I know. But it will." Lupin sighed too. "Severus is... a very... damaged man," He cringed slightly at his choice of words, but he continued, "I'm not even sure that you could help him- or fix him."

At this point, you were staring soullessly at the floor, and the only thing you could feel was Lupin's chest against your shoulders. Were you and Severus really a lost case? You felt like you'd made so much progress, he'd opened up to you, he'd... he also ran away again. Perhaps your friend Remus is right.

"I think I want to be alone." You suddenly blurted out, slowly glancing up at the professor with glossy, red eyes. Lupin blinked at you, confused for a moment, though he quickly came to. He didn't blame you for saying such a thing - you'd just had your heart ripped out, to put it simply.

Remus didn't say anything, he only nodded, offering you a kind, yet pitiful smile - and that hurt you slightly. You didn't want his pity, in fact, you didn't want anyone's pity. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." He muttered, brushing a hand through your hair softly. You shut your eyes for a moment and sighed, a small gush of guilt filling your body. Here Lupin was, trying to console you, and you're kicking him out. You hoped he didn't take it personally.

"I'm sorry, I... I just need to be alone." You quickly offered. Remus shook his head and frowned at you.

"No, I understand. See you in the morning, Y/N. Feel better soon." The professor smiled at you and this time it wasn't rich with pity, but kindness. He tipped his head at you and began to shuffle his way towards the door, opening it with a quiet creak from the oak. Before he disappeared out of your chambers, Remus turned around and smiled at you once more, slipping away.

Seconds after the door shut, a drowsy-looking Ben opened your bedroom door, popping his head out. He squinted at the bright light, clearly having just woken up. That settled your nerves slightly, since you'd just spoken about Severus with Remus, only a few metres away from Ben.

"Are you crying?" Ben yawned, his bushy brows furrowed in either confusion or annoyance - at this point you couldn't tell.

"No," You coughed and turned around to pretend to do something else as you wiped at your eyes. "I'm fine, go back to bed, Ben." A curt sigh fell from your lips, and almost immediately you heard footsteps padding closer to you. "I'm fine." You repeated, listening as his feet stopped behind you.

"What happened?" Ben asked, the tiniest hint of sympathy in his voice made you shiver slightly.

"Nothing, it was just a rough day at work, honestly. I'd rather not talk about it." Your brows shot together as you tried to keep the tears at bay, but you couldn't help but think about Severus as Ben placed a hand on your waist in an attempt to pry you away from the countertop and towards him. You didn't want anyone else's hands on you but his.

"Hey," Ben said softly, though it felt heavy in your chest. "It's work. It won't matter in a day or two." You were silent. "Y/N?"

"I need a drink." You muttered and forced yourself to look at Ben, cringing slightly as you walked past him and towards a glossy wooden cabinet in the corner of your chambers. You rarely drank, and if you did, it was to either celebrate something, or forget something.

Another uncomfortable silence fell on top of the pair of you.

"Want one?" You asked with no emotion in your voice.

Ben hesitated for a moment, his groggy eyes staring at the back of your figure, silently trying to deduce you. "...Sure."

You were going to regret this.

You'd changed into comfier clothes, more specifically a pair of forest green silk shorts and a matching camisole top. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you faced Ben as he was sat on the windowsill opposite you, nursing his glass of wine. After a few strong sips, the pair of you were chatting and reminiscing like old pals. "Remember that time when I turned Peter Kipling into a weasel in McGonagall's class?" Ben giggled drunkenly, elbowing you gently as you nodded with tears in your eyes, an amused grin spread across your face.

"Oh my- I forgot about that!" You wheezed, smacking your lips together. "Didn't you get... like... at least- like a month's detention for that?" You laughed, slurring, taking another sip of your glass of Elven wine. You winced slightly at the strong aftertaste as it burned your throat. That was to be your last drink, you couldn't take much more.

"Ohh, yeah, I d-id," Ben hiccuped, his laughter dying out as he sighed; his tired eyes falling onto you. Shuffling under his gaze, you felt slightly uncomfortable. A brief yet thick silence suddenly engulfed the two of you like a slow-burning fire. Ben stood from where he'd been sat, stumbling over to where you were, stopping just in front of your knees.

"I miss talkin' to you, Y/N." He sighed, taking his hand and placing it upon your cheek; carressing the apple of it with his rough thumb. The strong scent of alcohol on his breath made you gag a tad - you were drunk as well, but the smell of it wasn't pleasant, especially from his mouth.

Your breath hitched slightly at the sudden contact.

"..Yeah." You answered quietly albeit awkwardly as you stared up at Ben. Though, all the wine you'd consumed was making him look like someone... else - the darkness wasn't helping either, in fact it was fueling your hallucinations. The dark cast of a shadow from the lit candles behind him made his nose appear larger, and his cheekbones a little more pronounced.

Slowly, he crouched down until you two were eye-level, his hands slipping to your ankles. Your body stiffened slightly at the feeling. "Ben.." You warned, sighing as the drunk buzz and pleasurable tingle from the pads of his fingers was starting to cloud your mind.

"Whaat?" He whispered, heavy-lidded eyes still glued to yours as his fingers began to trail up your calves. Ben began to stand up slightly, pushing his face dangerously close to yours, and so you leant backwards to avoid him, your back gradually making contact with the bed. He shuffled forwards slightly, pressing a knee against the edge of the bed to balance himself.

You shouldn't be doing this, you knew that, but Gods, the alcohol was truly fucking with your morals and mind.

Would it hurt?

Just a little... taste...?

You shut your eyes as you became lost in the feeling; his fingers reaching the backs of your soft thighs, a breathy sigh falling from your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes again as Ben's smalelr nose pressed into your neck, followed by his wet lips. You gasped as his hands found your torso, his fingers pressing a little too harshly into your flesh.

Severus.

Memories of him suddenly flooded your mind like a reservoir breaking a dam, flushing out anything that didn't embody him. All the times Severus had attacked your supple flesh beautifully; pulling gorgeous moans from those pink lips of yours. Your brows furrowed together as your body silently yearned for his touch. It hurt.

You were stuck between stopping this and just shamelessly indulging in the dark, twisted fantasy of pretending that Ben was Severus. You were being so selfish. And yet, you didn't care, all of the emotional turmoil that you'd been through tonight was pushing you to the edge - all you wanted was the man who didn't love you, who only saw you as a quick fuck, maybe some midnight company.

You shut your eyes again and tried your best to imagine him. With a sigh, you ran your hand up Ben's neck and into his hair, though it wasn't the same. You missed the way you'd tangle your fingers in his raven-black locks, gripping on it as he'd ravish your neck and breasts like some mad professional. Sighing frustratedly, you moved your hands down to his shoulders, expecting the rough, black fabric of Severus's robes, and yet you were met with the flimsy, thin fabric of Ben's white cotton t-shirt.

You felt so fucking pathetic.

Knock, knock.

You froze, eyes snapping open as quick as lightning. Was there someone at the door?

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Ben groaned drunkenly as he continued to kiss your neck. Unfortunately for him, the feeling had worn off the second you heard those knocks.

"The knocks at the door."

"You're.. imag-ining things, baby." Ben sighed and hiccuped once more, his uncomfortably hot breath on your neck made you shiver. At this point, Ben was much more drunk than you, and so with your remaining energy, you rolled him off of you. "Whoa- heey-!" He groaned as you slipped from underneath him, padding to the door. You didn't bother to check if he was alright, the only thing on your mind was who was at your door at this time of night.

Was it him? Did you want it to be him?

Reluctantly, you reached out your hand to open the door.

Nobody was there.

You frowned and leaned forwards, poking your head out to glance around. The corridor was empty, completely empty. That was incredibly weird, did you imagine those knocks? You sighed softly - perhaps you were a little disapppointed. Turning around, you shut the door, only to be faced with Ben sat sloppily in a chair with a face like thunder.

"Waitin' for someone?" He asked with a flat tone, his head lazily cocked to one side, still clearly drunk.

"What?"

"You know what I'm talkin' abou', Y/N." Ben said with the same tone, standing up, albeit unsteadily. You swallowed as he inched closer towards you, dragging his feet, your toes burying themselves against the hard wooden floor beneath your feet. "I know about the notes you kept. From him." He spat, pointing his finger at your face. Your heart instantly began to gallop; the pounding of its beats echoed in your ears like a harrowing scream in the night.

The notes...

"Excuse me?" You choked out, brows furrowing together in complete shock.

This was not how you wanted this to go down.

"I went through yer little drawers. In yer greenhouse," Ben scowled, his nose turning upwards in what you could only describe as disgust. "All of his little notes were perfectly preserved, and mine? Well-" Your mind was running so quickly that you could barely even listen to what he was saying - the fact that he went behind your back and invaded your privacy was the only thing sticking out to you as of right now. Your skin felt like it was on fire as the anger began to flood your veins.

"You went through my drawers, Ben?!" You yelled, shoving a finger in his face.

"That's the only thing you care abou'?! Not the fact that you secretly- obviously, have some sort of fucked up... thing for a man who treats people like they're the tiniest bit of shit on 'is shoe?!" Ben screamed back drunkenly as he bared his teeth, stomping towards you and smacking your finger away. "The fuck is wrong withya?"

You knew this could get ugly quite quickly, especially as Ben was drunk - a lot drunker than you. But at this moment, your anger was far too hot to even think about cooling things down.

You scoffed at him, your lips twitching upwards into a disgusted sneer. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Going through my stuff?!" You shouted at him, taking a step backwards as he began to get a little too close for comfort. "That's not okay, Ben!"

"How long has it been going on?" Ben asked, his tone suddenly calm. That put you on edge.

You paused for a moment, pondering on his question. It was probably best that you didn't answer that. "We're done here, Ben." You clenched your jaw, silently readying yourself for some sort of explosion.

"How long, Y/N?!" Ben yelled. The way the whites of his eyes were basically screaming at you made you feel terrified. In this current moment, there was only one pair of arms that you wish you were being held in. The man in front of you backed you up to the door, and you could only stare at him, for your wand was foolishly placed inside the pockets of your robes hung in your bedroom. Tears burned in your eyes as the guilt you'd tucked away was finally waking up and holding your body hostage with it's incredibly heavy weight. "Did you fuck 'im? Is that why ya never slept wit'me for months? Because you were too ...busy being his fucktoy?" Ben slurred, his face red and lips wet with saliva from how he'd been shouting.

"Shut up!" You cried at Ben as the tears began to break free from you and run down your cheeks like melting diamonds. This was so not the way you wanted this to go. "Please, just stop!" You were sobbing at this point as his words pierced your heart, quickly reminding you of what Severus truly thought of you.

"Oh, fuck sake, stop with the cryin'," Ben growled, drunkenly shoving a hand into your shoulder, sending you barreling backwards and into the door. You winced slightly as the bone of your shoulder blade made contact with the metal bar on your door. "Whiny bitch, yer the one in the wrong, not me!" He grumbled with a heavy sigh, turning away from you.

"Shit, Ben-" You gasped as you leaned forwards and pushed yourself off of the door, however, a sharp and excruciating pain shot across your shoulder as you tried to move it. "What the hell were you thinking?!" You whined, stumbling to the countertops of your kitchenette to lean on it. Your shoulder was fucking killing you.

"Me? What was I fuckin' thinkin'?!" A sarcastic, manic laugh fell from his lips and immediately you regretted your choice of words. The man spun on his heel, and suddenly he donned a wand in his hand. Now, you were scared for your life. "You're one to talk... you know what... I'm going to have you fired... yeah... blacklisted. From every job in this fuckin' area! That'll teach you to be a whore!" Ben screamed the last word so loudly that you were sure every sleeping student and teacher heard it. Your jaw ticked, and you had to look away, your face painted an embarrassed shade of scarlet.

Your heart dropped at his words. No way was this happening.

"You can't do that." You whispered, tears still streaming from your eyes as you stared at the ground.

"I work at the Ministry, darlin', anything is possible."

"Fuck you."

"What did you just say t'me?"

"Fuck you!" You cried out hoarsely with one hand on your shoulder and the other gripping the countertop. An animalistic like growl fell from your ex-boyfriend as he stormed towards you, fury burning bright in his eyes. He raised his wand, and you squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for some sort of spell to hit you.

"Stupefy!" A familiar voice commanded, the swish of a spell following it suit. Then, a loud thud.

Reluctantly, you opened your eyes to see Ben laying on the floor, unconscious in a pool of his own saliva. Your chest heaved with fear, and you were incredibly scared to look up to see who had come to your rescue. Frozen, you stood still in your place, though you could feel your knees beginning to buckle. Within seconds you were on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, your lungs on fire from how harshly you were breathing. Merlin, you could've just died.

uh oh.. who saved her?

i'm sorry if you weren't tagged, i went through the majority of my notes and tried to find you all!! pls forgive me :( there was a lot due to my absence <3

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192 notes · View notes

sinsatmidnight · 8 months

Text

30 Years Later

Pairing – Kim Minji (JiU) x Male Reader

Words - 3101

Sins – Smut, oral, sumata, shower sex

So...it's been a while. I have not been keeping up with what goes on Tumblr, I have to admit, and nor have I read any (most? I may have read a couple during this period) of the many stories that people have started after I stopped. I'm inevitably rusty, but I had this draft I started a long while back that I somehow got into the mood to finish, so I figured I may as well post it, just for fun. Maybe someone will enjoy it. Hopefully you like it if you read it! And no, I don't expect a significant uptick in activity from me, but I may pay more attention to some of the other stories being written. Working on this was not quite the healthiest thing (because uh, I may have overused a certain part of my body the last couple of days) and let's just say one of the reasons I'm posting this is because it already had a significant bit written. But I kinda wanna subject myself to more of this...abuse(?) now. Ugh I'm rambling, but anyways, hope everyone has a good day (or night)!

(2130 hours, 20 September 2220, Eternity)

It started out muffled. The droning sound breaking into your consciousness, jolting it to life. You have no idea what it is. Or where you are, for that matter. Your eyes are closed. But your ears are sharper now that your mind is actively concentrating on listening.

A voice. Female. You can’t make out words but she sounds calm. And then your eyes slowly open, almost as though forced open by an outside force. That’s when you remember.

“Condition is stable, consciousness gained, cryo pods are opening.” That calm, droning female voice comes through clear to you now. There is a soft hiss as the transparent door of your cryo pod slides to the side. The light outside your pod is quite soft, and yet at the moment to your eyes, it is blinding. Disoriented by your awakening, you lay in the gel bed as you try to get your bearings.

“Eden? Status update…oh, and what is the current date and time?”

The ship’s AI, Eden, responds in the electronically generated calm tone that all shipboard Ais use. “Welcome back, Commander. All of the Eternity’s systems are currently running optimally. All crew members are in good health. It is currently 2130 hours, 20 September 2220.”

Your mind does the math easily despite just coming back from the induced cryo-sleep. Thirty years. Well, that would be right. Crew members were supposed to be woken up after thirty years to run manual checks on the ship’s condition and look over all data collected automatically by ship sensors and the AI. They stay up for two weeks and then go back into cryo-sleep. And after the first thirty years, this is repeated every five years.

Your mind remembers that crew members aren’t woken up alone, they’re normally woken up in pairs as an additional safety measure. One person who can handle technical or mechanical issues on the ship, which in this case is you, and one more person who is medically trained to check on the sleeping crew and in case of medical emergency.

Your gel bed is softening; rapidly melting as you defrost and becoming less of a gel and more of a slime. A marvel of human technological ingenuity; the clear gel froze quickly, was non-toxic in case of accidental ingestion, while also serving as a shock-absorbent and anti-bacterial bed for cryo-sleep.

You need to get out and check who else was awakened with you. As your hands reach and hold on to the sides of the pod, you realise that you have an erection. Your mind immediately jumps back thirty years prior, to the minutes right before the crew enter cryo-sleep. It might have been from thirty years ago, but those are your last waking memories and they feel like just minutes ago instead.

You remember undressing before you enter your cryo pod; cryo-sleep has to be done naked and trying to unpeel clothing frozen to a person for years is painful. And that was when your eyes caught sight of the occupant of the pod opposite you.

With long dark hair and incredibly kissable lips, combat medic Kim Minji drew attention wherever she went. She was tall, gorgeous and had a body that drew a reaction from your own. As you watched her unzip her white bodysuit and slip out of it, stripping off her underwear and getting naked, you felt the blood rush to your penis and you were glad that she was too preoccupied with her own cryo-sleep preparations to look over at you. You ended up getting frozen before your erection could soften.

Back in the present, another female voice that definitely wasn’t Eden’s cuts into your thoughts. “You’ve had that for thirty years, Commander?’

As you stumble out of the pod, the melting gel dripping all over the floor, your eyes immediately catch sight of Kim Minji’s naked body standing outside her pod, the clear slime dripping off her body and giving it a shimmering sheen under the soft white lights of the cryo chamber. You quickly realise two things: that Kim Minji is your medically trained partner that you’re going to be alone with for the next two weeks and that your erection won’t be going down anytime soon despite your embarrassment at getting caught. You technically outrank her, but that doesn’t matter when there’s just two people awake on the ship.

Minji’s gaze is fixed upon your groin and very obvious erection and a smirk plays on her red lips. “Oh, Minji, I-“

Before you can think of an excuse, Minji cuts in. “Thanks for the compliment, I guess. I’ve never had a guy have a boner for me for that long.”

You smile sheepishly and try to change the subject. “Let’s go wash up before we start work.” At the far end of the cryo chamber was the doorway to another smaller room. A shower chamber with a row of showerheads which to wash off the slime with warm water before you got dressed. There were no partitions, they didn’t bother with them, given that everyone is naked in the cryo chamber anyway. And anyone outside the showers can see into them, given that the walls and doors are made of transparent shatter-proof glass.

You drip clear slime onto the silvery metallic floor beneath your bare feet and the metal doesn’t feel cool to your touch, but given that you were completely frozen minutes ago, that’s understandable. The two of you make your way towards the shower chamber, walking past the other cryo pods which stand up at 45-degree angles, glancing at the naked bodies of other crew members stored in cryo-sleep within them. The water from the shower feels warm to you, a nice comfortable temperature. Minji is next to you, the water flowing over her naked and fit body. It's not helping your erection. Her voice cuts into your thoughts. "I can feel some slime on my back still, could you help me scrub it off?" You hesitate for a moment but then your hand reaches forward and runs over her smooth back, swiping the slime off. You feel Minji's body shiver at your touch, and she lets out a soft moan.

You are sure that your erection is pointing straight up now. Not that it wasn't before, but this situation is just prolonging it.

"Oh, that's nice. Can you do it a little lower, please?" She asks, and your hands move further down. Your hands are caressing her pert ass now, the soap lather coating it and making it feel smooth. Minji is letting out soft moans and you are enjoying touching her. As you wash her ass, your fingers stray between her legs, rubbing against her dripping vaginal folds. She is wet and it is not the water causing this.

"You're doing a great job, Commander. But there's a lot more I need you to wash for me." You turn her around so that she is facing you. You look into her eyes and she is biting her lower lip. Minji has a perfect pair of breasts, firm but soft and a nice handful. They are covered with soap lather now and you find your hands moving forward to massage her tits. You pinch her pink nipples, feeling her tremble as you touch her. Minji leans into you, her wet body pressing against yours. She feels hot to the touch, as though her temperature has gone up.

"Look, I really feel like I should help you with that boner of yours." Minji whispers breathily. "Can I do that for you, Commander?" She has already reached down and taken your hard length in her hand, her thumb rubbing the head of your cock, spreading the precum that had gathered. She gives your cock a gentle tug, and it takes all of your willpower to not cum on her right then and there.

"Fuck, Minji, that's- that's fine." You let out an odd mix of strangled gasp that ends in a muttered assurance, as her soft hand continues to firmly stroke your erection.

"Thanks, Commander. I appreciate it." Minji presses those incredibly kissable red lips up against yours, and her tongue hungrily comes out to play. You reciprocate, even as your hands are busy continuing to explore her body. Her hands, on the other hand, are one of the most pleasurable experiences you’ve ever had as your wet cock is deftly and smoothly pumped and stroked.

With a wink, Minji drops to her knees, the water from the showerhead splashing her face and wetting her long hair. She presses her tits together and wraps them around your throbbing shaft.

It feels good and your body instinctively thrusts forward, your hips rocking back and forth, fucking her breasts. Your balls are tensing up, and you can tell you aren't going to last long. It is smooth and slick between her breasts and the tip of your cock is rubbing up against her lips with her tongue comes out to tease the tip. Your eyes stare at her as she looks back at you and with a smirk, Minji parts her lips, taking the head of your cock into her mouth.

The tip of her tongue swirls around the sensitive head, licking up the precum that continues to leak. Then, she starts bobbing her head forward and back, taking more and more of your shaft into her mouth, eventually releasing your cock from between her tits. Minji hums contentedly as she sucks and swallows your cock, and her hand is wrapped around the base, pumping you in time with the movements of her head. Minji’s other hand has drifted between her legs, and she starts to furiously masturbate as she blows you. Her slender fingers plunge in and out of her leaking vagina as she keeps her thumb vigorously rubbing her engorged clit.

As you lock eyes with the gorgeous medic on her knees in front of you, she gives you a sultry look, her lustful eyes peering into yours as she sucks you off. Minji’s expert tongue swirling around your shaft and the vibrations of her moans as she takes your dick deep into her throat very quickly becomes too much for you. Your hands need to grab something, to get control.

Your fingers run through her long hair and roughly grab hold of her head, pulling her towards you as you thrust into her mouth hard. You hear her gag a little, but she doesn’t stop with her movement. You feel the pressure building up, and your hips are moving of their own accord. Your cock is hitting the back of her throat, and your balls are tightening.

With a moan, you cum in her mouth. Thick spurts of cum erupt from your dick and fill her throat. She swallows it all, and stands up, licking those red lips. "That was tasty. It’s not every day you get to taste cum stored up for thirty years."

You barely register her words, breathing heavily. That was the most intense orgasm of your life. Your cock is still hard, but Minji is seemingly satisfied. For now.

Or maybe not. She steps away from you, and turns around, bending over. Her shapely ass is facing you, and her pussy is glistening. She looks back at you and wiggles her hips. "Can you help me clean down here too, please?"

You can't refuse Minji’s request. You have to return the favour, after all. You move towards her and rub her pussy. It is dripping wet, and her juices are flowing freely. You stick a finger inside her and feel her walls clench around it. She lets out a gasp, and pushes her hips back, as if wanting more.

"Oh, I really need it, Commander." She pants, as you continue to finger her. You pull out, and she lets out a groan. "Why did you stop?"

"Just making sure you're ready for me." You reply as you give her pert ass a quick spank, drawing a low moan from the medic. You position your cock at her entrance and push inside her.

She gasps and whimpers as you enter, and you feel her pussy walls tighten around your shaft. You start to thrust into Minji’s soaked pussy, and she groans while pushing her hips back to meet your thrusts. You grab her hips and pull her closer, helping her out in an attempt to get ever deeper inside her. She cries out in pleasure, as you fuck her as hard and fast as you.

It doesn’t take long before you are getting close to climax, and she is too. You can feel her walls tightening around your shaft, and her breathing is getting faster. You grip her hips tightly and pound her harder.

"Commander!" She moans, as she orgasms. Her juices flow over your cock, and you can't hold back any longer. You pull out of her and explode all over her ass and back, creating a sticky mess there. And then you plop down on the ground, all this exertion so soon after coming out of cryo-sleep has taken a lot out of you.

You both pant, catching your breath. Minji crawls over and kisses you deeply. "Thanks, Commander. I can't wait to work with you for the next two weeks." You can only nod breathlessly in response, your tongue wrestling with hers. Minji breaks the kiss and stands up, with her back to you. “Well, going to need your help with this mess here. Your fault, so you clean it up, sir.” Your gaze goes over her cum-glazed skin and you stand up to grab a sponge from the side of the room, lathering it up with some body wash from a dispenser. You start to work on cleaning her up, using the sponge to get your semen off her skin. But Minji is inherently distracting. It is clear whenever you touch her that she is affected by it. You hear some sighs of pleasure, even the occasional whine when your hands leave her.

This inevitably affects you and you are somehow hardening again down below. You make a split-second decision and suddenly press Minji's wet body up against the wall. You swiftly follow that up by sliding your semi-erect dick in between her soaked creamy thighs. You start to thrust in between her thighs, making sure that you brush against her pussy fold throughout.

"Oh, you're naughty, sir." Minji pants lustfully. You can feel the warmth of her vagina radiating through your thrusting member. You are quickly erect once more. This feels even better than her sucking and giving you a titfuck. "How is this, Minji?" You whisper into her ear.

"Fuck, Commander. That's… that's really good. Really, really good." She whimpers breathily, her body pushed up against the transparent wall, tits first. Your cock continues to slide between her thighs, teasing her pussy. You are both covered in soapy suds, the water from the shower spraying and splashing on the both of you. Her skin feels silky smooth and slippery to the touch. With each thrust, her ass and thighs clap loudly. You reach forward and fondle her tits, her nipples hardening and her breathing quickening. You keep thrusting, enjoying the feeling of her soapy thighs wrapped around your shaft. Minji is moaning and gasping with each thrust, and her breathing is getting faster.

Her legs are trembling, and her juices are flowing freely, mixing with the soap suds and water. Your balls slap against her clit, and she cries out in pleasure, her whole body shaking. You reach forward and grab her wrists, pinning her to the glass wall. She lets out a moan and arches her back. You kiss her neck and shoulders and continue to fuck her soapy thighs. She is whimpering and moaning with every thrust, and her juices are flowing freely, making her inner thighs and your cock very slick and slippery.

Your thrusting becomes faster and more urgent. Minji is definitely close to climaxing; you hear her moans and whimpers are getting less coherent and more urgent; you’re sure you catch some lust fuelled whining and babbling about wanting your cum and something about being fucked hard. Your cock is slamming against her pussy, and her walls are clenching around it, her juices leaking out. She is breathing heavily, and her legs are trembling.

You release one of her hands and guide it down to her clit, prompting her to start rubbing it furiously. Her fingers are a blur, and her moans become louder and more urgent. You continue to fuck those soaped-up milky thighs of hers, and she is practically screaming in pleasure, her voice echoing off the walls of the shower room. Not that you had to care about anyone hearing you. You did have an odd sort of audience in the rest of the crew outside in cryo-sleep, just beyond the transparent wall you have pressed Minji against.

Your cock is twitching and pulsating, and you can feel the pressure building up. You are both close to that final edge, and the only sounds are your heavy breathing, the splashing water, and the loud clapping sound of her ass and thighs slapping against your cock and balls.

You thrust forcefully into her thighs a few more times, and then you erupt. Your thick, creamy load sprays onto her thighs and the transparent wall, coating them in your semen. Her body shudders, and she cries out, reaching her own climax. Her juices flow over your shaft, and she slumps down, exhausted. You follow suit and collapse next to her. You both lie there for a while, trying to catch your breath. You do catch out of the corner of your eye, that Minji takes a few licks of your cum from the wall.

The two of you eventually manage to finish your shower and dry up, with you eyeing Minji the whole time as she puts that white bodysuit back and zips it back up. She catches your eye, bites her lip, and then smirks naughtily. You’re both relieved and regretful that your cock is worn out and needs rest. That would have brought it back up. You and Minji are both very well aware that you don't actually have much to do over the next couple of weeks, other than the occasional diagnostic check of the ship’s systems and such. The ship’s AI, Eden was there to handle the heavy lifting. And so, you're very much looking forward to the next couple of weeks alone with Minji.

#male reader #reader insert #dreamcatcher jiu smut

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bloop-bl00p · 2 months

Text

Re-imagining the Extermination

TW: There’s like one image I could consider disturbing and such

Remember when back in the day before the series aired how the Exorcists were so hyped? They were this unavoidable threat looming over the heads of the characters, a reminder that if Charlie doesn't succeed in redemption, all of these characters will have to go years and years preparing themselves for a massacre and inevitably die a second time.

Then when we get to see them in the show a bit earlier than expected here how they act…

Maybe I hyped them too much.. I expected them to be fierce soldiers led by Michael or something.

The thing is, we don’t know what are the Exorcists yet, Adam said he named Vaggie (and probably the rest of the girls) but she’s still Salvadoran, which is really confusing. Hopefully, we’ll get more answers, my personal guess is that Viv is going to go with fan theories that they are humans. That can be interesting but if they are that doesn't explain why they thought themselves invincible.

I created something completely different, basing myself on multiple religious texts as always, I intend to make more posts about my rewrite of characters I drastically changed, and possibly one about Heaven. It’s gonna be long because I crammed a lot of information.

I. Why kill sinners?

Souls are powers, the more it sins, the stronger the 7 Deadly Sins get.

Hell started traditionally as a pit of fire and desolation, when The Seven Sins discovered they could get stronger through the humans, they completely reshaped Hell’s society and influenced Earth with the help of Hellborns.

Mammon is pretty much the reason why we live in a capitalistic society, as Greed is at the center of almost everything (The love for money is described as be Root of All Evil in the Bible.) So his influence on Earth was mirrored to create the Hellaverse we all know.

In Hell, Hellborns, rather than physically torture the Sinners, tempt and trap them in toxic lifestyles. Back in the day, Sinners could have access to the other Rings and indulge in a wide range of vices. Heaven noticed it and reacted immediately to prevent Lucifer’s rise in power and avoid a potential war. They came up with the Extermination and wisely decided to set this up at a very specific time.

You see, around the 16th century Lilith was expecting and she reached her 5 months of pregnancy for the first time in 6000 years. She was cursed by God after fleeing Eden, and all of her pregnancies usually end in miscarriage. Furthermore, she suffered ten times harder than any other woman.

So that's when they forced Lucifer to comply with their deals. He didn't want his wife to be in the middle of a war so he accepted. The deal essentially was that Angels could come to his kingdom once a year to kill as many people as possible, but if they dared to attack a Blue Blood he would bite back.

To diminish the amount of destruction that would be caused by the Exorcists all Sinners are confined to the Pride Ring as they are the main targets. But between us, if you’re a Hellborn and find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time you’re dead.

Royalties are the only ones spared from the massacre, they picked a relatively weak type of angel to do the dirty work so the Exorcists aren’t even remotely strong enough to kill one of the 72 Lesser Keys, only lower ranks demons and sinners.

II. The Exorcists

The Watchers:

Over the few angels sent to observe humans' expansion, a considerably large amount of them have been exposed to Lucifer’s deviant ideologies and were inspired to follow The Traitor’s ideal and defy God’s plan. 200 of them put these doctrines into motion and their Heavenly Light got tainted by one sin, Lust.

They fell in love with the women on Earth and shapeshifted to marry those they lusted after, causing the birth of wicked creatures between Celestial beings and humankind, the Nephilim. Their second sin was to reveal forbidden knowledge to be viewed as deities unleashing Chaos and wars between humans (you know when we fight to know which God is stronger/real).

God put an end to this and sent Archangels who banished these 200 Watchers to Hell. To ensure that the rest of humanity wouldn’t be corrupted by their children, God flooded the Earth-saving few humans deemed as virtuous (Noah and his family weren't the only ones.)

The Watchers that remained were ripped off a considerable amount of their powers. They got disfigured to ensure the failure of any tentative seduction, and each of them is kept on a tight leash in Heaven unable to access most parts of Heaven without authorization and supervision.

The Birth of Exorcists:

Misael grew disdain for those of their kind who rebelled against the Lord as their trust and love for the Almighty was endless.

This loyalty permitted them to become the next leader of the Watcher after the betrayal of the former chief. The Watchers, alongside them, grew all bitter toward demons and their sinful siblings, a bitterness that turned into hatred for their peers.

When Misael heard the words of a possible uprising, they proposed an annual extermination as a last resort and a way for the Watchers to pay for the sins of their siblings. Which got accepted.

Few details about Misael:

→ Miseal means normally ‘As God is’ but my thought process was that Misia in Greek means ‘hate’ and they hate demons. I just added the ‘El’ syllabus of God.

→ Their voices are surprisingly soft, a bit like Blue Diamond, it almost make you forget that they are about to slice your throat open. They have this habit of reassuring sinners saying that their suffering is coming to an end.

III. Appearance:

Exorcists are lepers and constantly in pain, they were removed from their ability to shapeshift.

Today Leprosy is curable but before modern medicine, it was considered a divine punishment since they had no treatment. There are instances in the Bible where God punishes people by turning them into a leper.

They usually wear bandages to cover their face and this isn't even near how horrible their condition can get. The entirety of their body is sick and they wear large loose clothes to cover them, below the fabric they are still covered with bandages. The halo is in reference to the Crown of Thorns of Jesus, the Romans put it on his head as a form of humiliation. The Watchers used to have normal haloes but they aren't worthy of it anymore.

They are very much recognizable in Heaven as they are the only ones wearing black, to signify their loss of purity and kinda to represent their mourning for their Fallen siblings and the souls they are taking in Hell.

During the Exterminations, they wear silver masks, and Misael wears a golden one since they are the leader. They withhold close-range weapons as a reminder that they are taking lives.

The sun in the center of their armor is a reference to God (a symbol I created for my story) it’s in reference to the Morningstar trying to overcome the Sun.

I got lazy, I haven’t drawn anything in months, so I’m probably gonna re-draw this. I forgot a few details.

IV. Details

→ Each beginning of Extermination is announced by the sounds of Seven Trumpets playing at the same time.

→ They have to make the death as quick and painless as possible.

→ A list of names and ways of identification such as pictures is given to each of the Exorcists so they know who they should approach with caution. They can die, it may not be common but it’s still a possibility. Usually, they target Overlords as their activities in Hell make people sin more and more.

→ They have no right to kill anyone belonging to the Royalty, they don't have enough powers to. Any demons they encounter on the street however must be killed regardless of their status as hellborn or sinners.

→ They can affect technology, Hell has no natural light source as it’s the only place Gods do not pay attention. During the Exterminations, the electricity is completely shut down, the only source of light is the Heaven portals which disorient the sinners because it’s blinding.

→ Exorcists are killable, but usually when faced with 12-foot soldiers you back away. While they do wear armor that completely covers them if they get hurt somehow, they’ll regenerate unless it’s an angelic steel.

The only part that isn't protected is the base of their wings so with the right weapons you could cut it. Guns are also a possibility but their wings are big enough to be used as a shield (76 feet, I did the math.)

→ It’s rare but some Exorcists lose their weapons when facing sinners who fight back.

#anti vivziepop #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critique #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel rewrite

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silentglassbreak · 1 month

Note

I have a request for when you have time and only if you vibe with it haha

How about: Mona, somewhat tall, dark hair, light blue eyes, loves a tattoo when she can afford it, loves jewellery (fingers full of rings, chokers). She's been friends with the band for a while, can be a bit shy but fun and lovely to be around. She's gotten out of her first relationship a while ago, one where she never felt really appreciated or loved and the other person didn't really bother with her enjoyment during sex ever, so much that she wondered if sex just wasn't for her. But Noah, oh Noah, doesn't even need to do much but she feels hot and bothered. So what if Noah finds out and vows to provide her with an amazing experience, finding out she's actually quite kinky along the way. The kinks are up to you if you'd like I'll love it all haha. Maybe they're also in love with each other and just realising it now, maybe it's just a fwb situation, completely up to you, I can't wait to see what you'll come up with, your writing is amazing! 💜💜

Something light and easy, just for funsies. ☺️ After Writing Notes: This was fun. I enjoyed having something more lighthearted. Hopefully it is what you were hoping for.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, kink (nothing too wild), oral sex (both receiving)

Blackbird

"This had better be good if you're calling me at six in the morning..."

I rubbed my eyes, my deep frustrations seeping out in my words.

"It is!" I huffed, waiting for him to continue. "We're home!"

I raised an eyebrow. "I'd hope so. You've been on the road for like...three days?"

"Right, but we're home! And we want to go get breakfast!"

Still failing to see what any of that had to do with me, I tossed my arm over my face. "So...do that?"

"Okay, so you'll meet us there?"

"I beg your pardon?" I opened my eyes, knitting my eyebrows together.

"You'll meet us at Reggie's?"

I growled into the receiver. "You're out of your God damn mind if you think I'm getting out of bed anytime before ten, Nick."

"C'mon Mona! We talked about getting together as soon as we got home!"

"Uh, yeah, I figured that meant after you had taken some time to fucking recover!"

He giggled. "We're all caffeinated and hungry. Thought it would be a good time!"

"It's not."

"I'm buying!"

"I'd rather die."

"Too bad. Get dressed and meet us in an hour, please!"

Opening my mouth to protest, I felt the line go dead.

There were moments I truly regretted being friends with Nick Folio. He was a morning person.

Lifting my head off of the bed, I scrunched up my nose and pouted for a moment, gathering enough of my bearings to pull my legs off the side and stood up.

My arms reached over my head, my spine cracking and stretching. I walked over to the kitchen, pulled the refrigerator open and yanked the iced coffee from the shelf. Quickly, I mixed myself a beverage and drank half of it in three solid gulps.

Once the caffeine began burning it's way through me, I drug myself into the bathroom and stared at my reflection.

Well, it could be worse, right?

My icy blue eyes were only so puffy today, my hair freshly washed the night before. My shirt was clean as well, which was an improvement over the last couple of weeks.

I hadn't mentioned to any of the guys that I had been moping for the last two weeks straight. Sixteen days, more specifically.

Since Vinny decided he 'wasn't ready for a committed relationship'. Aside from being devastated, I also found it interesting given we had been dating for over a fucking year.

Fucking producers, man. Snakes - every last one.

I was blindsided by the breakup, and I had let myself feel it full force. My method was to be in pain, depressed, and disgusting for as long as it took for the heartbreak to fade away. If that meant not leaving the house, barely eating, and showering every three days, then so be it.

I did, however, know the boys would be home today, and had to prepare for that. My best friends for a good nine years now, I knew there was no getting out of seeing them as soon as they touched ground in California. I maybe expected a little more time to sleep in, but not much.

It was too early to care about appearances, so I brushed through my dark, chocolate-toned mess of hair and tossed it into a messy ponytail. I pulled my favorite band t-shirt over my head, a Bring Me shirt I got back at Warped Tour in 2012, and slipped into a pair of plain black leggings. My flip-flops would have to do, as I had no desire to hunt down two socks, let alone matching ones.

When I locked my front door, I winced at my nails. I had been biting and pulling at my cuticles for days without even realizing. I needed to get acrylics ASAP. I made a mental note to see if the nail salon had any openings after breakfast.

My deeply tinted sunglasses hid my eyes from the outside world. I hadn't bothered with any makeup this morning, not having the time nor the patience for it.

I hummed idly to my music as I drove the short ten minutes to Reggie's Diner, zoning out mostly. I pulled into the space in front, noticing none of their vehicles were there yet.

Of course.

Fucker wakes me up early, pulls me from the hole I had crawled into, and doesn't even show up on time. How predictable. I pulled a foot up onto the seat, balancing my chin on my knee while I waited.

The music streamed through my speakers, and the lyrics hit me in the chest.

"I guess this is goodbye. I guess we got what we deserved. Hold on to your heart, it's almost over."

"Ugh." I turned the volume down to zero, not wanting those kinds of emotions sinking in.

Before I could dwell too long, a loud, sharp knock came on my window, and I jumped nearly a foot in the air.

Standing in my driver's side window, Folio was pressing his forehead against the glass, making cross-eyed faces. I turned to the windshield, where Nicholas was lifting his shirt up to flash me. Jolly stood next to him, rubbing a palm over his friend's bare stomach, thrusting his hips like a complete moron. To my right, Noah stood at the opposing window, mouth pressed against the glass, puffing out his cheeks.

Tears nearly welled in my eyes at the absolute absurdity of these idiots. God, I fucking missed them.

I scanned the menu for no reason at all, already knowing exactly what I planned to order.

"French toast and an over easy egg, right?" Noah's elbow bumped me, his own menu open in front of him.

I pursed my lips. "No, I actually thought I'd get the waffles with bacon this time."

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow, and I cracked a smile.

"Nah, I'm getting French toast."

He snickered, nodding his head. "You always do."

"Yeah, well you always get raspberry lemonade so..."

"What's wrong with lemonade?!" He dropped his menu, eyes scanning me.

"Nothing." He huffed, narrowing his eyes. "Raspberry lemonade though?"

He opened his mouth to retort, but we were interrupted by the waiter. Each taking turns placing our orders, Noah went last, ordering a peach lemonade. I rolled my eyes, and folded my arms on the table, listening to them idly chat.

"I have a feeling that once I get food in me, I'm going to nap for at least eight hours." Jolly chuckled, fiddling with the salt shaker.

"Dude, me too. I think I'm just running on hopes and dreams right now." Nicholas added.

"How was the drive from New York?"

They all groaned in unison. "Fucking long." Folio commented.

"It felt like we were driving through Colorado for a fucking year." Noah tossed his head back.

I bumped him with my shoulder at his theatrics. "Your guys' bus is so bougie, it couldn't have been so bad."

"Once you've been in it for months like we have?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "I never want to see another tour bus again."

They all nodded together, affirming noises under their breaths.

"Don't you leave for the second leg of the tour in, like, eight weeks?"

There was a beat of silence before they all cackled. "Fuck, dude. Don't remind me!" Folio dropped his face in his hands.

Everyone fell into side conversations as we waited for our food. I was listening to Folio tell me about the people he had the opportunity to meet while they were traveling, but I felt my mind wandering, my eyes following, eventually settling on Noah.

Somehow, since I had last seen him three months ago, he managed to get even more muscular. His arms were bigger, and his hair was slightly longer than it was before he left. He had a fresh tattoo on the small patch of open skin on his upper arm, ink still vibrant. He was listening to Jolly, smiling at whatever he was telling him that was so entertaining.

"Mona?" It occurred to me that I missed what Folio was saying to me.

"Huh?" I looked back at him. "Repeat that?"

He smirked. "Space cadet?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's early." He mimicked me, rolling his eyes as well. "What did you ask?"

"I said, how's Vinny?"

My heart sunk, and the lump that I had just managed to swallow reformed in my throat. My face must have given something away, because the entire table fell silent.

"Oh, Vinny..." My stare fell down to my plate, pushing what was left of my French toast around. "He's fine."

Nick lowered his face so he could force me to meet his eyes.

"Everything okay?"

I nodded, biting my lip and trying like hell to smile. "Yeah, all good."

"That's not believable." Nicholas spoke up, pointing a finger at me. The glare I shot at him could’ve sliced right through his skin, had he not deflected with his own. “Care to explain?”

I set my fork down, folding my hands in my lap and folding my shoulders in. I could feel Noah leaning just a fraction closer to me, and my skin was warm where I felt his hoodie pressing against me.

“I don’t, actually. Thank you, though!” I tried to sound as chipper as possible, but it was falling on deaf ears. These morons knew me better than anyone.

“You guys fighting or something?” Jolly piped up between bites of hash.

I shook my head. “Nope.” Dismissive was not a skill I possessed.

“Do I need to fuck him up?” Folio did his best to look intimidating, and this made me cackle.

“No, Nick. No need.”

A bump to my arm made my eyes glance up at Noah, his face concerned. “What’s goin’ on, Mona?”

What was it about that fool that made me crumble like clay?

I sighed hard, leaning back in my chair, and averting my eyes to my plate, fingers now fiddling with my napkin. I could tell they were all looking at me, and it was a heavy feeling.

“Vinny broke it off.”

I don’t think I’ve seen four jaws fall at once before, but there’s a first for everything. I felt Noah tense up next to me, and it took all I had not to lean into him. He didn’t need to be fazed, it wasn’t a big deal…right?

“The fuck?!” Nicholas dropped his fork on his plate. “Why?”

I shrugged in response, pursing my lips. “Who knows.”

“Kicking his ass sounds pretty good, now.” Noah’s words were meant to be humorous, I’m sure. But his tone said otherwise, low and venomous.

When I chanced a look up at him, his eyes were narrowed into dangerous slits, focused on me. My hand gripped his arm, squeezing gently.

“It’s really no big deal, guys. Just wasn’t meant to be.”

“He didn’t give you a reason?” Folio sounded more concerned than angry.

I groaned, leaning my elbows on the table and rubbing my eyes. “Fuck, I guess? He said he wasn’t ready to commit or some bullshit.”

I heard at least two of them suck their teeth in disapproval.

“What horse shit. You guys were together a year.” Jolly wiped his mouth on his napkin.

“It was over a year.” I said, my voice small.

“Didn’t he ask you to move in with him like, three months ago?” Noah sounded like he was in disbelief.

“He did. I turned him down because I was afraid of something like this happening.”

“Mona?” My eyes fell on Folio, his hand now on my shoulder. “When did this happen?”

My face fell, then. I knew they weren’t going to like my answer.

“Like…” I took a breath. “Two and a half weeks ago?”

“What?!” Yep, about what I expected. “Mona! Why didn’t you tell me?” Nick was nearly out of his chair.

“Why would I?” I tried not to look at him, but I knew he was burning a hole in my face.

“Oh fuck, I don’t know.” He scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “Maybe because we’re your best friends!”

I rolled my eyes. “Who were on tour! You guys didn’t need my petty drama while you were working.”

Noah scoffed, turning his body toward me. “And we could’ve just brought you out to finish tour with us.” He glanced around the table, silent agreement from the other guys. “It’s not like we haven’t before.”

He had taken my hands, which felt so tiny in his huge grip. I couldn’t help but smile at him, and then at the rest of them.

“Guys, as amazing as you all are,” I pointedly looked at each of them. “I’m a big girl, and I don’t need my boys coming to my rescue over a little heartbreak.”

Noah’s fingers squeezed me, bringing my attention back to him. “We know that, but we like doing it. So next time, tell us, okay?”

I leaned my face into his chest, his arms circling me in a tight hug. I smiled, feeling safer than I had before they left. When he released me, I smiled at them.

“I love you guys.”

“Mona!” I turned, my keys in hand to unlock my car. Noah was jogging in my direction, the rest of the guys already in their own ride.

“What’s up?”

He stopped in front of me, looking almost like he was losing nerve the longer he stared at me. He tucked his hands in his sweater pocket, now smiling at me sheepishly.

“I just wanted to know, do you have plans today?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh, just going to get my nails done. Might grab some groceries later. That’s it, though.”

He nodded, kicking his shoe against the asphalt. “Okay, think you’d want to see a movie later?”

This wasn’t out of the ordinary. I had my designated activity that I typically did with each of the guys.

Jolly was a ‘go out to a fine dining restaurant’ type of guy, so he would take us out at least once a month to a new place, and we would spend the evening critiquing the food and atmosphere - as if either of us had any right. It was hilarious.

Nicholas, being the tattoo artist he was, loved the days I took the time to spend in the shop, helping him clean up and hang out. He had very little time to tattoo these days, and when he did, his books were full. I would sit with him, help him sketch, and bring food to the shop. He usually gave me little bangers here and there while we had time, and it helped my tattoo addiction, and my budget, tremendously.

Nick, unsurprisingly, was the nature freak. Luckily for him, I loved to fish. We’d hop on his bike when the weather was right, and head up to Big Bear a few times a year, or hit the piers for saltwater fishing. I never caught much, but he always told the other guys I did.

Noah, however, was a movie guy. Horror, sci-fi, comedy, didn’t matter. If it was in a theater, he wanted to see it. I was all for that. I had a serious affinity for popcorn, and loved to listen to him whisper to me during the movie, or bitch about it on the drive home. Maybe I enjoyed the occasions where I got chilly, and he let me wear his sweater? Or maybe I just liked being alone with him?

When I first met the boys, Noah had instantly stuck out differently than the rest of them. He was stunning, reserved, funny, and glowed like the sun. He had a smile that made my knees buckle and a hug that could swallow me whole. Voice of a siren and talent like none other.

Of course, I had an immediate crush on him.

Something about the way he spoke gave me such pause, my ears yearning to hear every word, hanging on them as they came out. The way he moved, gestured, breathed...it made my skin tingle.

However, when Noah and I met all those years ago, he had a girlfriend. It was disappointing - to say the least - but I respected it, and continued on as his best friend. I put the feelings to bed, and accepted the group of four misfits into my life without hesitation, arms open. Did the feelings eventually relax? Sure.

Something I appreciated about mine and Noah's situation was that I had the opportunity to get to know him better than I ever would have, had we entered into any kind of relationship. I saw him at his very best, but also at his lowest depths. I watched him free fall through his depression. Held his hand while he fought through the shadows within his own mind.

Noah, like myself, had a dark and violent past, so we were always closer. The guys constantly made comments about it, saying we were kindred spirits, begging to be together. It was all very Shakespeare, and we typically brushed it off. We laughed at their silly jokes...but over the years, there had been more than a few long and awkward stares between us.

He never told me he had feelings for me. The words never left his mouth. But did he walk with his arm around me sometimes? Hold my hand at the scariest parts of the movies? Bring me snacks and nap with me when I was sick?

Every. Time.

Until Vinny.

Once Vinny came into the picture, Noah had to take a step back. He had been single for three years - me for four. He had ample time to make some kind of move. He never did. So we sat in comfortable solace. And then Vinny came in, swept me up, and 'ran off with me', as Noah put it. He was upset, but would never admit it. Our movie dates stopped. Sick days were cancelled. And my shoulders were always so cold...

Over a year, Noah and I had been as platonic as brother and sister. It was painful at first, but I think we both got used to it. We hadn't seen a movie together in fifteen months...

"Mona?"

I was pulled from my thoughts and brought back to a very sheepish looking Noah, who looked as though he was about to tell me to forget it.

"Yes! Of course I'll go to the movies with you!" Maybe that came out a little too excited.

It was worth it, however, to see the way his face lit up. "Yeah?" He nodded, hiding his teeth in his smile. "Alright, cool."

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hide my own enthusiasm. "What're we going to see?"

"Tarot is out, have you heard of it?"

My eyes deadpanned at him. "Looked terrifying."

"Perfect!" He turned to walk away. "I'll look up showtimes?"

I shook my head. "Just pick me up at nine? We'll figure it out from there?"

This made him smirk. "You got it." He began walking back toward his brothers, and I turned to my car door. "Oh!"

I whipped back around.

"Do you need me to bring you a sweatshirt?"

I felt the warmth pool in my gut. Oh, the game was so on.

"Nah." I waved a hand at him. "Yours will do."

Was this a date? It wasn't. I was sure it wasn't. It couldn't have been. Not possible. We were best friends. I was reading into this.

Noah had seen me with strep throat. Bought me tampons. Held my hair back while I vomited. There was no way he had feelings for me. He probably viewed me as his gross younger sister. Or his weird cousin who stole his clothes a lot. There was no way.

But I still found myself dialing Nick, staring down at my two outfit options, chewing the skin of my lip to a pulp waiting for him to answer. It took three back-to-back calls before his groggy voice mumbled into the line.

"I'm sleeping."

I rolled my eyes. "I need your help."

"Mona, I'm tired."

"Yeah, well, I was tired at six this morning. Sucks to suck. I need your help." I was now actively pacing my bedroom.

"Ugh, hang on." I could hear him moving around, likely sitting up in bed. A loud groan came on the other end. Stretching. "Alright, whose dying?"

"Nick, I don't know if this is a date."

He spoke through a yawn. "Your thing with Noah? You guys used to always do that shit."

I scoffed. "That was before."

"Before...what?" I could hear the sound of a door opening, and then closing.

"Before," I took a second, but wasn't even certain of what I was thinking anymore. I growled. "just before!"

"Well, that makes a lot of sense, huh?"

I could hear his voice echoing, and then the sound of water running. Wait...not water...

"Are you pissing on the phone with me, you freak?!"

He chuckled at that, still sounding exhausted. "You wake me up? You deal with the consequences."

I made a noise of disgust. "Wash your hands before we finish this conversation."

I could hear the sink running, and then he picked the phone back up.

"I honestly don't get what you're freaking out about, dude."

"Of course you don't get it. You're a cool, nonchalant, unbothered dude! Whereas I'm over here thinking way too much into this and having an anxiety attack!"

"Alright, alright. Calm down." He huffed back down onto his bed. "Talk me through it."

"Okay." I took a deep breath, turning to look at my bed. "I don't know what to wear. Usually, during movie nights with Noah, I wear sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I like to be comfy in the theater, especially since he takes us to the ones with the...uh..." I snapped to think of the word. "recliners! The chairs that lean back? So do I just go with normal attire? Or, do I dress up nicer? Show him I'm interested in this being more than just a typical movie date? Show off a little? Will that give him the wrong impression? Will he think I'm trying too hard? But if I bum it out, will he think I'm a slob and have let myself go since the breakup? I don't know what to do. Don't even get me started on makeup."

"Holy fuck dude, you are freaking out."

My heart was racing at the rate my mouth was moving, but Folio's voice made me snap my jaw shut. I only talked that fast when I was losing my mind.

"Listen," He breathed loudly, likely sinking back down into his pillows. "I get why you're nervous. But this is Noah."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I'm aware."

"So that means, the beauty about going on a date with him is that he knows you better than anyone. Even me. So you can be yourself."

"It's a date."

"No shit. Noah has been pining over you since the day you both met. Wouldn't shut up about going to the movies with you all day. It's a date."

All of the blood drained from my face. "Oh."

My heart had froze. Thinking it to myself was one thing, but to hear someone else say it...

"Don't start spiraling. This has been almost a decade in the making. It's going to go fine. Just be you. Wear your comfy clothes. No makeup. Hair loose. You're stupid cute like that."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Nick, knock it off."

He snickered. "Listen, babe. I may not be the one in love with you, but I can appreciate a fox when I see one."

I almost dropped the phone as my stomach lurched. "You said what just now?!"

Realizing his error, Nick's voice jumped several octaves. "No! No no no! I didn't mean it like that! It's a figure of speech!"

I felt my chest tighten. "Oh fuck..."

"Nope. Mona, listen to me! I was just using the phrase to prove a point! He's not in love with you!"

"He's not?"

"No, I mean...he is...well, he's never..." I could feel the vein in my neck threatening to burst. "Shit."

I sat on my bed, wiping my now damp palms on my pant legs.

"Listen, don't listen to me. I'm half asleep and I smoked before I went to bed, so I'm still a little faded. Just..." He took a hard breath. "Just be you, Mona. Regardless of how deep he feels for you, I know he's excited to just hang with you. He's kept you at arms length for over a year, out of respect. Now that he's allowed to get close again," I could hear the smirk in his voice. "I'm not sure he'll let you get too far anymore."

Something about that calmed me. That's why I called Folio. Despite my near-stroke, he knew how to talk me off of pretty much any ledge that I found myself inching toward.

"Okay. So comfy clothes, hair down, no makeup?"

"Right. But wear your jewelry."

My eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Yeah?"

"You know those rings you wear? And the choker? He thinks they're sexy."

I waited impatiently at the bottom of the apartment building, fingers pulling at the long sleeves of my shirt. Although I fully intended to snitch his hoodie, it was still too brisk to go completely unprotected.

His truck pulled up at five till nine, right on time. I hopped into the passenger's side easily, and cherished the familiar smell of him. I missed it something awful.

"Hey!" I looked over at him. Clearly, he had the same idea as I did, wearing his joggers, plain black hoodie, and his hair still wet from a shower. He looked so clean...edible. My mouth watered at the idea.

"Hey!" He reached over to pull me into a half-hug, letting his hand linger on my arm. His eyes glanced over me, lingering maybe a second or two longer on my neck. My black 90s style choker sat tight on my skin. He ran his fingers down my arm to my hand, running his thumb over the stone of the ring on my index finger.

Thank you, Folio.

"Multiplex has a showtime in thirty minutes?"

I smiled brightly. "Perfect!"

The drive was short, and we were bounding into the building, arm in arm, same as always. "We're getting popcorn?"

He smirked. "And candy."

After obtaining our goodies, we made our way into the theater, finding our seats. Before he leaned his back, he shrugged out of his sweater, dropping it in my lap. I looked over at him, and he only threw a wink at me. I slipped it on easily, sinking deep into the fabric.

The movie was scary...but it wasn't great. The story was very over-done. Teenagers in a place they shouldn't be. Fucking with stuff they shouldn't be. End up cursed and killed one by one.

Sounds like Evil Dead, right? Nope.

Cabin In The Woods? Nope.

Talk To Me? Nope.

Tarot, ladies and gentlemen.

I would admit, the jump scares would get me. During the first one, where the priestess jumps at the girl in the attic, I physically jumped, which caused Noah to grab my hand, and physically pull me into his side. I hid my face under the sleeve of the sweater, only watching from the top of my field of vision. The next jump, I nearly scrambled into his lap. He laughed at me for that.

By the final jump scare, I wasn't watching the movie anymore. My legs were over his lap, and his hand was tracing up and down my back. My ear pressed to his chest, I could hear his heart beating fast. Although he continued to watch the movie, laughing at the deaths, and chewing popcorn, I could tell Noah was just as nervous as I.

During one particularly horrific scene where a girl was being sawed in half...alive...I had to turn my face away from the screen.

"It's alright, they're barely showing anything." He whispered into my hair.

"You know I have a thing about being cut up alive." It gave me the creeps. Nightmare-fuel.

He chuckled. "I'll tell you when you can look."

The moment lasted far too long, the girl’s screams ringing in my ears as my fingers clutched at his shirt. After the scene had flipped, I let my body relax.

"It's over, baby."

The word.

He never called me that.

Mona. Mo'. Babes. Darling. Lady. Rick (Don't ask).

But 'baby'?

Never. Not once.

I pulled my face away from the soft cotton of his shirt, and instead of looking at the screen, I stared at him. Face lit by the lights of the movie flashing, I could see his eyes staring back down at me.

I couldn't have imagined the energy change. The voices in the background faded into a dull blur, not interesting me enough to see anything but him.

His lips were shiny, as if he had licked them. Maybe it was the butter from the popcorn.

I didn't care, because in that moment, they were mine for the taking.

Without any forethought, I grabbed his face, and pressed my mouth to his, feeling how soft his lips were. God, I had been missing out.

His arms tightened around me, leaning down to press himself against my body. His tongue pressed into my mouth, and my eyes rolled back behind my lids. I breathed into him, letting him feel everything I had been holding back for almost a decade.

Oh wow. Noah. It was always Noah.

Something inside my soul woke up. Something in my brain sparked to life and roared like a once-dead battery recharged.

Noah was it. He was what I was missing.

When we finally disconnected, his eyes looked about as blown as mine, breathing heavily. I just let my lips crack in a smile, my hand catching in his hair and knitting into the loose strands.

Our beautiful, incredible moment, was interrupted suddenly by a bright light flashing directly in our eyes. We looked over at the source, seeing a worker stood, flashlight pointed at us.

"Guys," He walked closer, voice hushed. "I get this movie is rated R, but you've got to go somewhere else to do all of that."

I sunk back into my seat, and Noah did the same. We both blushed hard, looking at each other, and giggling in embarrassment. We finished the last of the forgettable film in our respective chairs, our fingers still interlaced on the arm rests.

"Your aim sucks." His finger picked up the M&M out of his lap, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Yours is no better, dork." I giggled as I popped one in my mouth.

The overlook of the city lights glittered beside us, below the hill we parked on. The hatch of Noah's Navigator popped open, we sat in the back across from each other.

Since leaving the theater, we hadn't had any physical contact. I'm almost certain we were both too nervous. I wasn't sure how to get that magic back, but going home and parting company sounded torturous, so I recommended we go back to our spot.

It was customary to park here, just up the road from his house, secluded and quiet. We usually sat and debriefed the film we had just watched, but that didn't take long. We both agreed it was too stereotypical, agreeing it was only a 4/10.

After that, I recommended we play twenty questions...to stall, of course.

"It's your turn, punk."

I rolled the candy around in my mouth, and pursed my lips. "Mkay." I thought for a moment. "How many girls did you sleep with on this last tour?"

I wasn't sure when the questions turned dirty, but he seemed unfazed by it.

"Two. But they were meh." He poised his hand to toss another chocolate, and I opened my mouth.

"Yeah? Not the best?"

The candy missed and struck my nose, which I caught in my hand when it fell.

"Pretty much."

I nodded, ignoring the pull I felt in my stomach. I had nothing to be bothered by, so I ignored it.

"Your turn."

"Mm," He tossed another candy, making it onto my tongue this time. "What's your favorite position?"

I chuckled. "That's so stupid."

"Why?"

"Because, how many are there?"

He leaned against the siding of the truck, putting a handful of M&Ms in his mouth. "Kama Sutra says there's over a hundred."

I shook my head, giggling. "Well, I don't really have a favorite."

He rolled his eyes. "Everyone has their favorite."

"What's yours then?"

"Nope." He held up a finger. "Not your turn."

I shrugged. "Fine." I mulled it over for a moment, looking out at the lights. "Probably cowgirl. I'm old-fashioned."

He eyed me, as if he was suspicious. "Hmm," Popping the last candy in his mouth, he crumpled the bag in his hand. "I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"It's too boring."

I raised my eyebrows. "You think I'm boring?"

He laughed. "No, I'm saying I don't believe you are."

"Because...?"

He shrugged then, almost looking cautious. After a moment, he pulled his knees up, resting his arms on them and interlocking his fingers. "I overheard Vinny talking once. He said you were a real freak in bed."

Something about that made my spine straighten and my blood run cold.

"Did he now?" My eyes were glaring at him.

He didn't falter. "He did. And I almost knocked his teeth in, but I don't doubt it."

"Why is that?"

His lips turned up in a small smile. "I just have a feeling."

His tone was menacing, and something about it made me swallow hard. I was caught between feeling mortified and turned on. Noah was always so relaxed and collected. I had never seen him look so...hungry.

"And you?"

"Me, what?"

Matching his energy, I sat up and leaned back on my arms. "Are you kinky? Or vanilla?"

I could see his lips twitch, caught off guard by my flip of power. "Define kinky?"

"Well," I leaned forward, leaving very little space between our faces. "do you have any dark things you like to do in bed? Anything...taboo?"

I could see his eyes watching my mouth as it moved. "I don't know."

Letting my tongue trace over my bottom lip, I smirked. "No? You've never had the chance to do anything different?"

He raised an eyebrow, now looking confused. "I mean, I'm not into like...feet, or anything, if that's what you mean?"

My eyes widened, and I couldn't stop the harsh, blistering laugh that busted out of me, making me lean back. Tears fell from my eyes, and I almost choked in the process.

I heard him laugh too, kicking a leg at me. "Hey, sorry I'm so vanilla."

I continued to cackle like a hyena, but sat up, holding my ribcage. "I'm sorry. Jesus, that was hilarious."

He rolled his eyes, clearly uneasy about his answer, but his smile was so warm, I couldn't help but reach out and grab his hand.

"It's your turn."

He sucked his teeth. "I thought it was yours?"

I huffed out the last of my laughter. "Fuck, I lost track."

"Alright, I'll go." He sighed, face now turning serious. "Was Vinny good in bed?"

His tone wasn’t playful, but I was still recovering from my fit of giggles. "Fuck no."

His eyes popped open. "Seriously?"

I wiped at my tears, sniffling. "Not at all, dude. He thought doggy style was kinky. He also referred to my chest as 'voluptuous'. Nothing kills a mood faster, let me tell you."

Now he was laughing, and I tossed my water bottle at him in response.

"It's not funny! He was awful!"

"So why'd you stay over a year?" He asked through his laughter.

"Cause." That was all I was giving on that subject.

"Did he at least make you come?"

Shaking my head, I made a gross face. "No. I usually finished after he would leave."

"Ugh, that's sad."

I rolled my eyes. "You're telling me. Guy thought eating pussy meant making out with it..."

Noah stilled, his eyes getting dark. "What a shame. Some guys have no finesse."

I felt small under his eyes, suddenly needing to switch topics off of me.

"My turn."

He just nodded in response.

"I want to go back to this kink thing." He stretched his legs and linked his hands behind his head, waiting. "Do you like it rough?"

"To me? Or to someone else?"

"Either?"

He smiled. "Both."

"Biting?"

He thought for a second. "Only sometimes."

"Choking?"

He snickered. "Yes."

Feeling brave, I sat up on my knees, slipping the hoodie over my head, and continued my interrogation.

"Dirty talking?"

"Give me an example."

I inched toward him, crawling on my hands until I was hovering over his legs. "Do you like telling her she's a good girl?"

"I suppose." His hands fell to his sides, palms up. "If she's being one."

Cocking my head to the side, I brought a hand up to his knee. "And do you like it when she begs?"

I watched as the Adam's apple in his throat bobbed. "Yes."

Slowly, my hand trailed up his thigh. "And what if she calls you names?"

His eyes scanned my face. "Like what?"

I smirked. "There's a lot of options. Sir. Master." I let a finger trace where I knew his anime tattoo was. "Daddy?"

Visibly, his sweats jumped when I said it, making my eyes shoot up to him, a demonic smile crossing my face.

"That's the one, isn't it?"

Sitting up quickly, he got in my face, his voice deadly serious.

"You know, you've asked me seven questions now. I think it's my turn."

I leaned back, moving to sit on my ass again, now under his heated stare. I just nodded.

"How long have you been thinking about me?"

My voice caught in my throat, confused. "W-What?"

He moved closer, looming over me. "How long has it been since you started picturing us together?"

I could feel his breath on my face, which made it impossible to construct a lie.

"Years."

"Have you ever thought of me when you were touching yourself?"

Oh God.

"Yes."

"Did you ever picture me, when you were with Vinny?"

It was suddenly really fucking hot out here.

"Yes."

His teeth flashed at me, ravenous.

"Do you want me to do all those things to you, that he never could?"

"Jesus Christ, Noah." It came out only as a breath.

"That's not an answer."

"Yes."

"Do you want me to lay you down right here? And eat your pussy until you're falling apart? Until you can't fucking remember how to breathe?"

Insert cause of death here.

"Y-Yes."

"You sure?" His lips were level with my ear now, voice so dangerously quiet.

"Yes," Finding the last of my spunk, I tilted my lips up, and let my eyes fell on him. "Daddy."

Somehow, I hadn't noticed that he had pulled his keys from his pocket, and suddenly, the hatch was closing. I only had a chance to look at it for a split second before I was being pushed onto my back, my sweats being pulled down off my hips. I giggled at the sudden change of energy, knowing I had flipped a switch in Noah. He leaned over me, suffocating me with a warm kiss, pressing himself down on my body.

He lifted off of me just enough to look me in the eyes. "You sure?"

He repeated his previous question, but this time with a touch less heat behind it. He was looking for permission.

Always the gentleman.

I brought my hands to either side of his face, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

"Noah," I pressed a quick kiss to his lips, and smiled. "I've never wanted anyone more than I want you in this moment."

His cheeks warmed under my fingers, and he gave me the most terrifying smile I had ever seen.

His hand slipped down into my panties, fingers slipping lazily between my lips, and I wriggled, gripping his shirt.

"Oh." My voice stuttered, and he licked a stripe up the side of my neck.

"Don't worry, baby. I've got you." One finger circled around my clit, and I pressed my hips up for more contact. "You've got yourself so worked up already."

Breathing becoming more difficult, I let my eyes fall closed. His hand slipped away from me to pull my panties down to my thighs, and I felt his body weight move off of me.

I opened my eyes to see where he went, but almost fell unconscious at the sight of him perched between my legs, hands bracing my knees. Without warning, he lifted me, arching my back upwards to lift my core to his face.

His lips latched to my sweet spot, and my vision almost went white. "Fuck!" I screamed, but he just opened his eyes to look directly at me.

He flattened his tongue, pressing it to my pussy with long strokes, pulling moans out of me at a rhythmic pace. My hands scratched at the floor, trying to find anything to grab onto.

Finally settling on latching onto his arms, my nails dug into the back of his skin as he tormented me, face pressing further and further against my core. I let my fingernails rip down the skin on his forearms, panting and thrashing against him. He let out a deep, guttural grown in response.

"Noah, fucking hell. I'm going to come."

He pulled his face away, replacing it with his hand, pressing a finger inside me and pressing it into that spot that had me almost crying.

"Ask me nicely, baby."

"Noah, please. Please!" I was desperate to feel his mouth on me again, trying like hell to not buck too hard.

"Nope. You know what I need, pretty girl."

Confused, I wracked my melting brain for what he was looking for. His finger laid on a pressure that made stars fly in my field of view, making it hard to concentrate.

Until, I realized...

"Please, Daddy, I want to come. Please." I couldn't seem to get enough air into my lungs.

He smiled, looking inhuman. My head rolled back and forth, wild.

"Mm, no problem, baby." And he was back on me, the tip of his tongue drawing my climax closer. His finger still pressed into me, and I'm fairly certain a second slipped in at some point.

It was so much, it was so beautiful. I was going to actually explode.

"Ugh, Daddy. That's it. I need it. Fuck, please. Don't stop." At this point, I was just babbling. Whatever I could to ensure he didn't stop.

When his lips grabbed onto me, an impossible suction that had my head swirling, I felt the orgasm crash into me, a sharp scream escaping.

Carefully, he set me down, and his fingers slipped out. When I cracked my eyes open, I caught the slightest glimpse of him sucking them into his mouth. I had never seen anything so raunchy, and it made my muscles twitch, already wanting more.

He sat back against the hatch, chest rising heavily, and stared at me.

He was gauging, and I could tell. He wanted to ascertain whether I was about to regret what just happened.

He's insane if he thought I could ever regret that.

Noah looked wrecked. His sweats bulged violently, begging for relief. I sat up slowly, letting the blood flow come back to the rest of my body. Carefully, I sat up on all fours, and crawled toward him. He didn't say a word, just following me with his eyes.

"That was amazing." I smiled an appreciative grin, looking up at him through my lashes. "How could I ever show my gratitude?"

I could see he was stunned, so I took the initiative to reach for his pants, pulling them down in the front, letting his erection free to stare me in the face. Taking a few long seconds to appreciate it, I looked back up, eyes innocent.

"Would you like it if I choked on your cock, Daddy?"

His pupils were so dilated, I swore his eyes were completely black. He nodded slowly, reaching a hand up to run his thumb down my cheek, and hooking my chin, forcing my mouth open.

His other hand now grasping my hair, he pressed me down onto his dick, my mouth swallowing it down as far as I could before I felt my gag reflex hit. A harsh choke came out of me, and his hand loosened.

I just inhaled a breath and swallowed him down again, picking up a pace.

A long, sweet moan erupted from his chest, his head falling back as he watched me work.

"Jesus, Mona." His other hand gripped the side of my face, catching a tear rolling down my cheekbone. "So fucking beautiful."

I felt his cock hardening, knowing he wouldn't last long this way.

"You enjoy being obedient, don't you?"

I smiled around his cock, stopping to lick a long stripe down the length to his sack, catching some of the skin between my lips for a second.

"Ah, fuck." His mouth had fallen open, eyes rolling back. "Going to swallow my come, pretty girl? You're so fucking desperate for it."

His hand shoved me down onto his cock harder, pressing himself past my tonsils and straight into the back of my throat. I coughed harshly, but he didn't let up, head leaning back and eyes rolling with it.

"So close, baby. So fucking close."

With every ounce I had, I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him as if trying to drain his life force right out. His fingers tangled in my hair ripped at my scalp.

"Fuck, I'm-" But he was cut off by his own release, his chest tensing and hand holding me in place, head pressed firmly against my gag reflex, the come hot as it hit me. I relaxed, letting my muscles swallow it down without incident.

Noah's body slumped back, and his hand loosened. Fighting for breath, I leaned my face against his leg, just gathering my thoughts.

It took me a moment to notice he was running his fingers through my hair, smoothing the knots he had created. I hummed against him before sitting up, and letting my eyes search his face - exhausted.

He looked so pretty like this. His hair was sticking to his forehead from sweat, his veins in his neck slowly relaxing, and his arms loose and sprawled out.

He caught me staring, and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

I just smirked, shaking my head. "Nothin'."

After about thirty minutes of semi-awkward silence and cleaning up as best as we could in the back of a vehicle, Noah and I made our way back to his place. It was late, so we made every effort to be silent as we made our way up to his room. It wasn't until he was putting the key in the lock of his door that we heard the voice behind us.

"Use protection."

Folio's voice made us both freeze, and our eyes looked back to where his door was closing across the hall. An embarrassed smile flashed over my face, and he just chuckled quietly before pulling me into his room.

It was familiar. I had been here hundreds of times, so I made myself comfortable, dropping my bag on his computer desk and kicking my shoes off next to all of his pairs. When I turned around, Noah was sitting on the bed, hands on his knees, and a look I didn't recognize on his face.

Concern? No, fear? I wasn't sure.

"What's wrong?"

He was chewing on his bottom lip, and I walked over to him, slotting into the place between his legs. His eyes, so fucking big, so sparkly, stared up at me. They looked soft. Vulnerable.

"I like you, Mona."

It was a very regular statement. There wasn't a certain word or emphasis that made it special. But it was. Because now things had changed. Noah wasn't just Noah anymore. He was something different. And the words may have been ordinary, but they sounded as if they should've been spoken in a confessional.

It was warming, and they made me smile.

"I like you too, Noah."

His fingers came to grip my waist, squeezing me gently. "I've liked you a long time."

Nodding, I placed my hands on the tops of his shoulders. "Same."

He shrugged hard, looking up and down my being, working out what he wanted to say.

"I want you to be happy."

I was a little confused. "Okay?"

His fingers pressed in harder. "I want to make you happy."

Remember getting butterflies when you were little? When a rollercoaster dropped? Or a cute boy smiled at you?

"You do make me happy."

He moved his hands to grab my own, and held them between us. "I want to be with you, Mona."

It was silly, I'm sure, but I was fucking giddy. Internally I was kicking my feet and squealing like a mouse. Disgusting.

"Noah?" His eyes were fixed on me, so he just twitched his brow in response. "Are you saying..." I swallowed theatrically, feigning anxiety. "you want to go steady?"

The smile that flashed across his face was blinding, all thirty-two teeth flashing like a beacon. I giggled, unable to hold back after making such an idiotic joke. He just followed suit, pulling me into a hug, his face pressed into my chest.

My arms wrapped around his neck and I rested my cheek on the top of his head.

"You're so stupid." His voice came out muffled against my breasts.

My chest shook, now laughing harder. "You like me."

He pulled back, and his hand reached to pull me closer by the back of my neck, pressing his lips against me softly. When he pulled away, his words came out as the softest whisper.

"So much."

#bad omens #noah sebastian #fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fic #bad omens cult

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lunatic-pudge · 6 months

Text

Postal Dude SFW and NSFW Headcanons

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I love Postal Dude. He reminds me a lot of Sniper, so that might not help. These can apply to basically any version of Dude you want, but I tend to use PD2 as the default Dude. Those some things would probably be different for PD1.

So yeah, I got stuff that I need to finish working on. I'm halfway done with this one TF2 ask I got. So Imma try to finish that up ASAP.

And warning for sexual stuff and mentions of violence, but considering that this is Postal, the violence part shouldn't be too much of a bother

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SFW

-Oh boy oh boy, where do I even begin with my baby boy Dude. Postal was something I always had a slight intrest in but now it hit me full force so here we are. Plus he's got some similarities to Sniper as well so it doesn't help either. I can't control myself anymore. I need this man pregnant and i need it NOW!

-But anyways, Imma start throwing some stuff out there. This poor babe has been through it. He's been through Hell and back, literally. He's gotten better over the years, but there are times where things feel like they're getting worse again. He's gotten better with dealing with it. Though, he's not the best when comforting his partner if they're struggling mentally. He tries his best, but he's just so unsure of what to do. He's good at sitting with you, having an arm wrapped around you as you hold onto him, venting your problems out. It's easy for him to be a listening ear. Any advice from him is probably not good advice. If there's something you want, he'll get it for you. A blanket? Done. Some ice cream? Okay, what flavor. It's the little things

-If you wanna be with this mess of a man, you gotta be semi comfortable with the violence. He's gonna be coming home almost every night covered in blood, acting like he didn't just kill someone over a doughnut. And you gotta be comfortable with his massive collection of weapons. He'll teach you how to use them so you can protect yourself if he isn't around.

-Which leads me to the fact that he WILL kill for you. Whether it'd be to protect you, to prove that he loves you, or even out of jealousy. He can be convinced to not kill someone but it does take some persuasion. He just wants to keep you safe, and he trusts no one but you, especially since the people of Paradise are rather "interesting". Though, he might just wait for you to be out of sight to kill the person you wanted spared... Oops...

-His love language is acts of services and physical touch. Homie won't be able to keep his hands off you. Sexual or not, he NEEDS to feel you. It makes him feel sane to know you're there and real. And if you need help with something, he's there to help you with it. He'd love it if you'd go on errands with him. It'd make things less boring AND it means more time to spend with you

-Also, to be with this man means Champ needs to approve of you first. Champ is his baby, so if Champ doesn't like you then clearly you aren't worth his time. But if Champ approves of you and you love and spoil him, then you might just be marriage material

-He's such a goofball. He'll be constantly teasing you. Not a day goes by where he isn't lovingly tormenting you over something dumb. He does it cause he loves you. He means no harm with it and will let off it if asked. Don't let him know about any sensitive or ticklish spots of yours cause he WILL be using those spots against you

-Very big on being able to laze around with you and doing nothing. Laying together on the bed or couch, alcohol and snacks readily available, and music playing in the background. He's a bully in a sense where he would want his music playing, claiming to have good taste in music. So hopefully, you like the same music as him. So stuff like Tool, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, etc. (Though in my own little world, I could see him crying over Mitski, plz don't judge)

-If you're a crafty person and you make something for him, he could cry from how happy it makes him. He loves seeing you work your stuff. Doesn't matter what it is (drawing, painting, sewing, crocheting, etc.) he likes watching. It's calming to him. He'd def cry if you made anything Champ related. If you draw or paint, youre art is getting hung up on the walls. If you sew, knit, or crochet and you make him or Champ something to wear, then they'll be wearing what you made them proudly. Though he won't wear said stuff outside cause he doesn't wanna dirty them. He'd feel bad for ruing all your hard work

-Have I mentioned how spoiled he is yet? Cause he is. He's a very needy baby. Constantly wanting your time, attention, and affection. Almost never giving you a second of privacy cause he needs to be in your personal bubble. Oh, you locked the bathroom door so you could enjoy a bath in peace for once? Too bad, cause Dude's already picked the lock and hanging out with you. And if you don't stop him, he'll join you in the tub, with or without clothes on. He's essentially a cat that will scratch at the door til you let him in. If you're at work or he's running errands, he'll be texting you nonstop. Keeping you updated on the chaos he's causing and spamming you with Champ pics.

-He also has an abundance of photos of you. Some of just you doing whatever (yes even sleeping), you and Champ, you and Dude, and even all three of you together. You may not even know all of the photos he has of you. And yes, he will show you off, proud he has such a baddie and no one else does. But you also need to know that he isn't scared to take some of the worst photos of you. We're talk 0.5x forehead photos that make it look like you got a big ass forehead. He doesn't care. He loves everything about you and nothing will change that.

-Love seeing you wear his clothes. He thinks it's so cute how big his shirts look on you, the smaller you are, the better. He's very encouraging of you wearing his clothes. Sometimes, it gets him a little too excited, especially when you don't wear any pants, may God help you when that happens...

NSFW

-Loves biting you, once he starts he can't stop. He will have you marked up from head to toe by the time he's done with you. He would like it if you did the same to him. He'll ecourage you to leave some extra marks on him and especially his more sensitive areas. Same rules apply for scratching as well. He loves seeing the all the bites, bruises, and scratches you leave on him. And he feels such pride when he sees them on you

-He's the perfect person to have a hand kink for. He's got them long, spidery fingers that can leave goosebumps along your skin. He'd gladly shove his fingers down your throat if you want. His hands do tend to be littered with cuts and burns but don't think that will stop anything. The extra pain adds to the experience for him

-Yeha, he's kind of a masochist. There's just something about the way you inflict pain on him that gets him going. You could come up behind him and bite him and that's all you need to do for him to get the message. He will let you WRECK him however you want

-Does like degraded by only a little bit. He wants to be called a slut and to be told how vile he is for wanting to be used like a toy. But sometimes he has limits. He does need praises though. He could go on for hours praising you, and he would like to be able to be praised as well. He'd rather be praised than degraded. Especially during aftercare. Tell him how much of a good boy he is and how well he did. He'll love you forever if you do

-Is it wrong to say that I can see him having a Mommy kink? This might be from hearing the one line of his but there's just something about him that screams "let me call you Mommy plz". halp

-I've been making him sound like such a total sub but he can be dominant if you want. He tends to be more on the rough side when he doms though so do be prepared for it. He'd love to have you tied up and blindfolded, helpless as to what he's gonna do next. Loves making you beg

-peghimpeghimpeghimpeghimpeghim, do it. Nothing's stopping you. You'll get some of the best noises out of him if you peg him. He's is such a dirty little slut. Peg him and make him beg!

#postal #postal dude #postal dude x reader

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eve-reviews · 6 months

Text

ㅤ Once Upon a Time is a thirteen-year old’s fanfiction that was found by the creators of Lost and stolen for a show in hopes of making some money off the teen population. If the half-formed faux-edgy characters or bad acting doesn’t sell you on just how poorly this show was made, the terrible CGI definitely will. The first season revolves around a character named Emma Swan, aka The Savior, coming to the town of Storybrooke where her son tries to convince her that the town is actually full of fairytale characters that are under a memory erasing spell. The show has a way of making you forget that you’re watching a fairytale story until later you realize that “Oh! They just had Prince Charming cheat on his wife with Snow White. And then The Evil Queen framed Snow White for the murder of Prince Charming’s wife by hiding that wife’s heart in a box in the place Snow and Charming would always meet.”

ㅤ While the first season seems Wild, each subsequent season tries to outdo itself. The following seasons follow a clear formula constantly trying to convince you that it’s a good show. The creator’s favorite persuasion is to twist the usual fairytale stories and then play a dramatic stinger underneath it as if to convince the viewer to say, “oh shit!” Each time it makes this attempt, I am met with an intense feeling, but not the intended one. It’s a burst of laughter, a burn of secondhand embarrassment, and the impulse to share it with a friend so I don’t have to go through it alone (and may I say, I think my friends are starting to get sick of me).

The show is held together by attempts to be a show that makes the viewer sit at the edge of the seat waiting to see what happens next. These attempts often involve corrupting or redeeming a “good” or “evil” character respectively. While the show constantly brings in numerous characters from Disney movies or any other existing story for that matter (such as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea), it seems to forget this sometimes, so we are left with characters who have been corrupted and redeemed 6 times alone (in Rumpelstiltskin’s case).

Might I also add that the show often does a twist saying that two fairytale characters were actually the same one. If we take Rumpelstiltskin as an example again, he is at least three different characters off the top of my head. He also happens to be the Crocodile from Peter Pan and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. This isn’t even counting the family tree. Please feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph while I sort that out. Rumpelstiltskin is the son of Peter Pan (who’s evil) and the Black Fairy (who’s the origin of all evil or something?). He has a grandson, Henry, who is also the grandson of Snow White and Prince Charming. Henry also happens to be the adopted son of Regina, aka The Evil Queen. Regina if the daughter of the Queen of hearts and the sister of the Wicked Witch of the West. She’s also Snow White’s step-mother. Regina also happens to be soulmates with Robin Hood, who’s previous wife was sentenced to death by Regina before the curse. And Robin also had a daughter with the Wicked Witch but he didn’t know it was her at the time because she was pretending to be his dead wife.

I’m stopping myself there. If you read any of that, you now hopefully know how complicated the lore is and how near impossible it is to explain. You may have also gleaned how fucking stupid it is. That was all just a small section of the family tree. The actual lore of this show involves people who are definitively good or evil (but they can be redeemed) and authors who are all powerful gods who control Everything but are also just Some Guy. And of course, a being of pure light magic called The Savior (Emma Swan aka Snow White and Prince Charming’s child) and a being of pure dark magic called The Dark One (Rumplestiltskin). I forced myself through the show. High out of my mind if I had to. And I gotta say, folks.

I kinda love this show.

At some point it starts to get confusing what the creators were thinking while making this show. You drive yourself crazy trying to put yourself in their heads. Do they know how dogshit it is? Are they trying to convince me this dogshit is actually fucking ratatouille? Or do they know it’s bad?

By the end of season 6, I started to get the feeling that the writers had finally decided to accept that no one in the universe would consider this a good show; however, the show must go on so they may as well have fun with it. They finally left behind the attempts and just leaned into how bizarre the lore they’re spun truly is. They timeskip and they say. “Hey. We know that we’ve gone too far. We know we crossed a line somewhere along the way. But buddy? We’re not turning around. We’re gonna find throw back some brewskis and have a little fun.” And they decide to say that, “Actually? All those characters you just saw? The seemingly infinite number of them? That’s just the start. They’re just one of an actually infinite number of that same character that exists in the multiverse. We’re gonna make a new main character and she’s gonna be Cinderella. Yes, I know we already introduced Cinderella in season one. But this is a different Cinderella. From a different thirteen tear old’s fanfiction. “

And so it becomes a show that clearly knows it’s bad. And I sit there and realize I had fun. And I realize that I’m still having fun. And I realize that that was the point. I spent the whole show taking everything so seriously, and for that, I partially blame the show for taking itself seriously. But somewhere along the way, the show stopped. And I followed suit shortly after. And it was fun.

I loved watching Once Upon a Time.

#once upon a time #ouat #ouat spoilers #Once Upon a Time spoilers

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bearr02 · 8 months

Text

Safe and Sound |Chapter eleven|

Pairing: Hybrid!ot7 x f!reader

Chapter warnings: this chapter was written mostly like a month or 2 ago and I haven’t gone back to read it so it might be bad 🙃

Summary: You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.

Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, non-idol au, hybrid au, strangers to friends to lovers au

Word count: 2.5k

Member’s hybrid types: Namjoon: Bear, Yoongi: Bobcat, Hoseok: Ferret, Jin: Wolf, Jimin: Red panda, Jungkook: Bunny, Taehyung: Marble fox

A/n: sorry it took me so long, um.. I’ve been kinda off writing but I’m trying to go back and force myself to write and get stuff done (it’s kinda working) so hopefully I’ll update quicker next time

Last - Next - Masterlist

Jungkook eyes the intimidating building in front of him, hand squeezing your own tightly. “You’ll be okay.” You give his hand a small shake. He only hums in response, pushing himself close to you. “I promise.” You all start to walk in the direction of the store and you offer Hoseok your hand. He takes it gently, smiling at you before looking ahead at the building.

Jungkook moves behind you slight as you approach the building, the sight of people walking in and out intimidating him more than he’d care to admit. “It’s okay.” You mumble, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Jungkook slowly nods, pressing himself close to you. “You guys ready?” You ask, squeezing their hands as you look at them.

They nod, Jungkook’s more hesitant than Hoseoks. “You’ll be okay, I promise.” You say, guiding them inside the building.

As soon as you enter, Jungkook’s ears move to shield his face with a small whimper. You frown, pulling him close. “It’s okay, I promise nothing will happen while we're here. I won’t let anything happen.” You say with a reassuring smile. Jungkook hesitantly nods, but doesn’t move his ears from his face.

“Hey Hobi, can I have my hand back? I don’t think Kook’s gonna give me this one and I wanted to grab a cart. Unless you wanna push it.” You ask, looking over to Hoseok. “Sure.” He says, letting go of your hand, moving close to you after doing so. You smile at him and grab a cart, grabbing his hand again before putting it on the cart handle, covering it with your own. “You guys ready?” You ask, glancing at both of them.

They both nod, Hoseok’s more relaxed than Jungkook’s, but still slightly stiff. You nod, pushing the cart further into the store, looking at all the aisles. “So, we’re gonna have to go to two different sections, correct? Since you’re a prey hybrid” You look at Jungkook, “and you’re a predator?” You ask. Hoseok nods, “Probably. Unless they do it differently here and consider ferrets prey hybrids, too.” He says with a shrug. You nod, heading toward the direction of the prey hybrid section.

“Bun?” You call softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He hums but doesn’t move. “We’re in the bunny hybrid section.” You say, trying to peek around his ears. Jungkook peaks at you before looking around the aisle, his ears slowly moving from his face. He reaches out to take a hoodie sleeve between his fingers, his eyes widening slightly at the soft material. You smile, placing your now unoccupied hand on the handle of the cart.

“Can I get this?” He asks tentatively, looking at you. You nod with a smile. He smiles back, shuffling through the sizes before pouting. “They don’t have my size.” He mumbles, his body sagging slightly. You walk over to him, “Is there a size bigger or anything? If we have to, we can shrink it in the wash.” You say, shuffling through the sizes.

“I’m good with a size bigger.” Jungkook mumbles, grabbing one of the hoodies off of the rack, putting it in the cart gently. You nod, moving back to stand by Hoseok. Jungkook walks further down the aisle, looking at all the clothing.

He picked out a few things before walking back up to you and slotting his fingers with yours. “You sure that’s all you wanna get?” You look at the cart which only holds a few clothing articles. “I can get more?” Jungkook asks, shocked as he turns to you. You nod, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “Of course. I don’t mind.” You say with a smile.

Jungkook searches your face for any sigh nod a lie before nodding, moving around the aisle again. “He’s not used to this. Neither of us are. We were lucky enough to get to pick a shirt.” Hoseok mumbles, watching Jungkook with a fond smile. “I think he’s happy to be choosing his own clothing for once.” Hoseok says, turning to face you, his smile still on his face.

You smile at him, turning back to watch Jungkook as he picks out his clothes with a wide smile on his face. “I’m sorry you guys had such a shit life.” You mumble with a slight frown. “Yeah but we have you now. It won’t be a shit life anymore.” Hoseok says with a grin, gently nudging your side. You smile.

Jungkook walks back with an arm full of clothing. “Sorry..I went a little wild.” He mumbles sheepishly. “I can put it back.” He says, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. You shake your head, gesturing for him to put it in the cart.

He hesitantly puts it in the cart, pushing it to the side slightly. “Okay, what else are you gonna need? I know toiletries are a must, but anything in specific?” You ask, looking at Jungkook. “Can I get a few blankets to nest with? It’s a bunny hybrid thing.” He mumbles nervously. You nod, “For sure. We’ll get some blankets after we get your toiletries. I’d assume there’s a nesting aisle?” You ask, pushing the cart in the direction of toiletries.

Jungkook nods, “I’m guessing yeah.” You nod, stopping at the end of the toiletries aisle. Jungkook looks at you confusedly. “Are you not gonna come down?” He asks nervously. “We can if you want us to.” You say, gently taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Can you?” He asks softly. You nod, pushing the cart down the aisle. Jungkook looks around curiously at all the products, seemingly in awe at the amount.

“Are all these for bunny hybrids?” He asks, turning to you. “I’m guessing.” You say, looking around as well. Jungkook smiles widely, walking over to a shelf, letting go of your hand to pick up something. You smile, leaning against the cart as you watch him, Hoseok moving to stand beside you, watching the bunny hybrid too.

“Are you gonna be able to afford this?” He asks worriedly, looking over at you. You nod, “Don’t worry.” You say, gently taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly. He nods, watching Jungkook as he moves around. “I think he’s happy that he gets to choose his own stuff. He’s never had this luxury. Neither of us.” Hoseok mumbles, glancing at you before looking back at Jungkook.

You look at Hoseok with a small frown. “I’m sorry.” You mumble, squeezing his hand softly. He shrugs, “It’s not your fault.” He says, his eyes trained on Jungkook as he comes back, putting a few items in the cart. “You ready?” You ask, looking at Jungkook who nods. You nod, “Is there anything else you’ll need?” You ask.

Jungkook hesitantly shrugs, “I mean..I dunno if I need them but.” He mumbles, looking down at his feet. “Well let’s go get them.” You say, pushing the cart down the aisle. “What is it you want?” You ask, glancing to your side at Jungkook. “Blankets..for nesting.” He mumbles nervously. “Oh, right! I forgot you mentioned that earlier, I’m sorry.” You say, pursing your lips.

“‘S fine.” Jungkook mumble, plastering himself to your side as you all walk. “I wonder if they have an aisle for that.” You wonder aloud, looking at the aisle signs and what they hold. “Ah-ha!” You say, moving down an aisle. “Go nuts, Bun.” You say, gently ruffling his hair as you set the cart off to the side. Jungkook glances at you before moving to grab some blankets.

Hoseok smiles as he watches Jungkook pick out blankets with a wide smile. You lean against the cart, watching Jungkook fondly. Jungkook walks back with a few blankets in his arms, setting them in the cart with a wide smile. “Thank you, Y/n.” He says, hugging you tightly. You smile, “No problem, Bun.” You say softly.

He pulls away after another moment, looking at everything in the cart with a wide smile. “Hobi!” You say, turning to him, “You ready to get your things?” You ask. He nods, smiling at you. “Let’s go then.” You say, starting to head toward the predator hybrid section.

Hoseok is practically buzzing with excitement by the time you reach the section. “I can get whatever?” He asks, looking at you. You nod with a smile, “Of course.” Hoseok hesitantly starts to explore the aisle after your words, looking at all the clothing articles curiously. “Thank you.” Jungkook says from beside you. “For what, Bun?” You ask, turning to him. “Everything.” He mumbles, wrapping his good arm around your waist, laying his head on your shoulder.

You smile, wrapping your arms around him, laying your head on his as you watch Hoseok.

Hoseok returns to the cart with a few pieces of clothing in his arms, setting them in the cart. “Is that all you wanna get?” You ask, pulling away from Jungkook despite his protests. Hoseok nods, looking at you with a smile. You nod, moving down the next aisle.

Hoseok looks around the aisle as you walk down it. He reaches out to grab something, looking at you for approval as he moves to put it in the cart. You nod with a soft smile, “Get what you wanna get. I want you both to be comfortable.” You say softly. Hoseok slowly nods, hesitant, as he stares at you, slowly bringing the item closer to the cart.

When you don’t make a move to stop him, he puts it down into the cart. “Thank you.” He mumbles, hugging you. You smile, removing your hands from Jungkook to instead hug Hoseok. Jungkook huffs, trying to worm his way between you and Hoseok making the two of you laugh.

“Do you need anything else? Either of you?” You squeeze the two hybrids softly before pulling away to look at them. They both shake their heads, looking at the cart before back at you. “Are you sure? You don’t need anything for your animal form?” You check, looking between the two of them.

Hoseok hesitates before speaking, “Can I get a few toys?” He mumbles, pursing his lips as he stares at you. You nod with a smile, “Of course.” Hoseok’s eyes widen, “Really?” He mumbles as if he expected you to say no. You nod, heading in the direction of the toy aisle.

Hoseok and Jungkook follow close behind, looking around the store as they walk. When you all reach the aisle, Hoseok hesitantly starts to wander down it, looking at all the toys. “Is there anything else you wanna get?” You turn to Jungkook.

Jungkook shrugs, “I’m good with what’s in there right now.” He says softly, leaning into your side. “You sure?” You wrap your arm around his waist, squeezing him to you softly.

He nods, laying his head on your shoulder, “I’m sure.” He mumbles. You nod, watching Hoseok as he picks out a few toys before coming back to the cart. “You guys ready?” You ask softly, squeezing Jungkook gently before moving away from him. They both nod, Jungkook taking a hold of your hand. You make your way toward the front to check out.

Jungkook moves to hide behind your body when you reach the checkout, looking around nervously. “It’s okay.” You say softly, squeezing his hand gently before letting go to set everything on the conveyor.

Jungkook presses himself as close as he can to you. You take Jungkook’s hand back in your own, shuffling further down to pay.

Jungkook lays his head on your back, clinging to you as you pay. You gently squeeze his hand in reassurance, waiting for the cashier to finish bagging your items.

Even when she finishes and you start to put the bags into the cart, Jungkook doesn’t move, continuing to cling to your back. You gently squeeze his hand before starting to push the cart toward the exit.

Hoseok follows close behind, one hand holding onto the cart as the three of you walk. You do have some struggle with Jungkook clinging to you, but you make it work, hobbling over to the exit.

When you get outside, Jungkook pulls away slightly but not completely, looking around as the three of you walk toward your car.

When you reach your car, Jungkook finally pulls away, hesitant, but he pulls away. “Do you need help?” He gestures to the bags in the cart but you wave him off. “You two can get into the car, I'll load everything into the trunk.” You squeeze Jungkook’s hand lightly before starting to load all of the bags into your car.

Hoseok and Jungkook both get into the car after quadruple checking if you were sure you didn’t need help. They were both hesitant to get into the car and not help you, but they did in the end.

It didn’t take long for you to get everything into the car, but you wish it did. You feel like they didn’t get much even if they promise you they have everything they need.

You get into the car, buckling up before turning to them, “Are you both buckled up?” You receive nods from them and you nod back, starting the car.

—

As soon as you get home Hoseok and Jungkook both change into one of their new shirts and pants while you love on the cat. “I still don’t know what to call you, baby.” You gently scratch between the cats ears as you speak.

The cat's eyes close, a pur rumbling through his body.

“What do you think?” Jungkook calls out, modeling one of his outfits for you.

You smile, “It looks good. You have good style.” He blushes slightly and smiles shyly at your words, “Thanks Y/nie.” He walks over to you just as I Hoseok walks out of the hall wearing a new outfit of his own.

Hoseok poses for you, “What do you think?” He does a small twirl and Jungkook gasps softly, “I didn’t twirl! That’s not fair! You one-upped me!” He pouts, sulking.

Hoseok laughs, “I didn’t ’one-up’ you! I just thought of doing it and you didn’t.” You laugh, “Alright, alright, you both look equally as good.” You kiss Jungkook’s forehead.

His cheeks tint an even deeper shade of red at the action. “Someone’s blushing.” Hoseok teases, walking over to the two of you, plopping down beside you and laying his head in your lap. “Shut up!” Jungkook pushes his head with a pout.

Hoseok laughs, batting his hand away.

You smile, pulling Jungkook into your side and running your fingers through Hoseok’s hair. Jungkook nuzzles his head into your neck, wrapping his arm around your waist.

You lay your head on his with a content sigh, closing your eyes.

After a moment you feel something soft rub against your arm, and when you look, the cat is rubbing on your arm, looking at you expectantly. You smile, gently scratching his head. He crawls into Jungkook’s lap and curls up.

Jungkook smiles, gently petting him. “He’s cute.” He whispers, moving his head to your shoulder so he can look at the cat. “He is.” You confirm in a whisper, nodding your head.

As your eyes fall closed again, you can’t help but think of how lucky you are to have found them again.

Last - Next - Masterlist

A/n: so yeah, um, sorry if it’s sucked, I’m trying to get back into my writing element.. idk if it’s doing well..

Series taglist (open):

@blancflms @dreamerwasfound @pettyandprettyy @watermelon2319 @yoongistangerine @danielle143 @canarystwin @catlove83 @joonie-tunes @staygirl1986 @singukieee @juju-227592 @bangtan4everr @revnamjinn @anjoellamorte @jewishmommy @talyaaas-blog @btskzfav @sugathy @btsizlyfe @00ihatesnaku @sophiaj650 @savagemickey03 @prettydancingdamzel @levislifeline @strawblueberrys @readerfia @deepestfacedevil @tired7o7 @svnbangtansworld @m00njinnie @nancynotperfectbutperfect

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Permanent taglist (open):

@viankiss @lizzymizzy-blogg @teddymoon06 @rln-byg @skyys-universe @misstressmina @ldysmfrst

#bts #namjoon #yoongi #hoseok #jin #jimin #jungkook #taehyung #bts x reader #bts ot7

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carionto · 4 months

Text

Pressure and Release

Human: *hmm-ing at a set of dials and gauges*

Alien: What seems to be *translation unit catches up with the information they're displaying* OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!!! GET TO THE ESCAPE PODS NOW!!!!

H: Shh, it's fine, I'm just experimenting.

A: OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE HORRIBLY!

H: Hey! Rude. *turns a dial causing a loud hissing noise* It's just air compressors and hydraulics.

A: *due to not dying, is beginning to relax* Why do you need up to 200 atmospheres running through these systems. We have invented alloy-specific magnetization mechanisms. Please, why do you keep insisting on these volatile and explosive means?

H: *turns the dial up* Because... *releases the pressure again, loud sudden hissing sound again* That's a cool sound.

A: Just because you think something is 'cool' doesn't make it-

H: *interrupts with another air build up and release sound without breaking eye contact*

A: *leaves*

H: *continues to play around*

_________________________________________

Okay, so I wanna get this off my chest. I find myself now for the fourth time starting a fun little activity, doing it for months on end, having a blast, and then almost suddenly dropping it entirely. First time I wrote some short stories or something every day for about six months and put it on deviantart. Then some longer form stuff started cropping in, sort of continuous narratives or whatever, and I stopped. Second was running a open D&D campaign with a persistent world but ever changing party, each session a sort of one-shot with a decision that would impact the whole world and what future sessions would exist. Not even 10 sessions in I felt under pressure to continue and build upon what I had already and just couldn't and stopped. Third was another kind of TTRPG, this time running my own server for Lancer. Again, open one shots, but less connected and I would hopefully get some of the players to want to run their own games within this freeform framework that I directly lifted from a D&D server I was in, even had some of the same people join as players. Few months later, I felt this massive pressure from myself to run games and come up with new scenarios that I just froze up. I cancelled game after game and just eventually abandoned the server and the resources I had made. Fourth time was here on tumblr itself. Back to writing some short form stuff on a fairly regular basis, almost daily for some time even. Had a blast, and then longer form content started creeping in. I thought I wanted to write some stories with an overarching plot and recurring characters and connected storylines, build up and pay off, that sort of thing. Again, I created this massive pressure by myself for myself of myself to do something I apparently can't. I created this sense of expectation of myself "Well, I started this, I should finish it, but where do I go, what do I do, how can I connect this?" And then this self-inflicted pressure got to me, again. And I stopped.

What I have known for a while, but couldn't put into words is that I don't want to tell a big long epic story or anything like that. I don't have one of those in me and forcing something like that only makes me shrivel up and run away. I have a world, several in fact, in my mind. Entire continents of a low fantasy character driven political intrigue and drama based world with tons of rules and restrictions, thousands of years of history, strong personalities for the main actors and so many individual scenes with them and the supporting cast, and a timeframe for when the overarching story happens and how it ends. But no story itself. Just scenes. I have a high fiction sci-fi world, again, with very distinct factions and races, most of the details I have written out back when I was a teen in a physical notebook with pen and pencil. Lots of historical points and events, how the races work, their domains if you will, near magical powers I try to explain with plausible science. Tons of specific details. Even drew each of their common symbols, how one of the languages is structured, schematics of how their cities are planned, and details on other planets in the system and how those might be important later. But, not a single individual character or story. Just dry facts. And then we have the loose sci-fi world I've created here. Bunch of different angles and perspectives, some comedic, some more serious, even put Cthulu in there. Many short and mostly self-contained stories and episodes of various humans doing things an exaggerated version of humanity would do. There is potential for a number of expanded and longer form stories here, some I attempted, and as mentioned, what ultimately made me stop. I don't have a book in me, and I don't want to write one. I just like to write little snippets and I want to get myself to accept this idea that, no, it does not need to become more than that. Because every time I start going down a path where it feels like it should be more than a one page thing, I seize up, start thinking that I need to do this, panic when I can't come up with anything, go silent, and give up. It just does not work for my brain. And that's fine.

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humanity fuck yeah #carionto #introspection

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sugar-omi · 7 months

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I hate myself for thinking this but, what if MC finds out she’s pregnant and the first thing in her mind is that she’s fucking up Cove’s future. So instead of telling him she just breaks up with him and shuts herself away from him so he can’t convince her that they’ll work it out. Now Cove has no clue why the love of his life just broke his poor heart. Skip to five years later, Cove comes back to surprise visit his dad but surprise there’s MC, Cliff and a little five year old boy that looks way too much like Cove. Like I’m talking copy and paste that’s a little Cove

oh my fucking god.... i. pls i have some thoughts but also OUCH. BIG OUCH

mmm i'm not gonna make a full fic/detailed post... maybe later if we're all itching for some angst or i'm up for causing more heart ache n then i am very much open to expanding on this (already thinking abt cove getting to know his son.... omfg my heart HURTS)

but i wonder how MC "gets away" (for lack 'a better words) with not telling cove about the kid.

because i can tell you right now, cliff and kyra can't know about it and keep it a secret. not for 5 years at least.

so does she beg everyone in her family to keep it a secret? i think that's the best bet. moms would really prefer Not to keep it a secret, but they also can't force you to tell cove...

but i also don't see them letting 5 years without cove at least knowing, go by either... they'd try to keep the secret, but seeing cove's sad face would break them quickly, if not instantly.

also your friends!!! god, they can not keep a secrete to save their life, especially that big. so you can tell them, but expect the news to find its way back to cove in about.. mmm... 4 hours? so yeah....

anyway!!! lets say that your family kept the secret...

i think your son would eventually start asking about his dad. he sees how you and your family react to him, hears all the mumbling about how he looks so much like... "cove"? when you think he's in the other room.

and he sees how sometimes you look sad and how you slowly and tenderly run your fingers through his hair. and how sometimes you tell him "yknow, daddy has hair just like yours."

and when he asks why you're sad, if you respond with something along the lines of "you look just like your dad, thats all."

or even if you say that in response when he asks what his dad looks like (if you haven't shown him pictures), or if he overhears you saying he looks like this "cove" guy

you notice he starts looking at himself more often... maybe even asking, "does daddy have green hair like mine?" "are his eyes really blue, just like mine?" "does he wear glasses too?" and still in awe that he and this man he's never met, but already seems to adore him (as much as a toddler can adore someone they don't know), share the same features.

and if you show him pictures of cove, which i hope you do, but if you don't, don't worry because your son will probably realize "he has green hair like me!!!!" and he'd either run up to enthuse about it or run up to ask him if he's his daddy bc they have the same hair color... or just call him daddy n if anyone tries to argue about it, wdym?! they have the same hair color, what more do you need?!

so hopefully, cove is the only man with specifically seafoam green hair. otherwise, you're shitting yourself every time your son runs off to meet his green-haired-brethern

anyway. I think all your sons questions, and seeing pictures, knowing that he shares so many traits with cove, and seeing you miss him.

oh god, seeing you sad would make him insist so so much on seeing cove.

"if we meet daddy, will you be happy again?"

also can't believe I almost forgot.. your son being sad about not having a dad, and being jealous of other kids for spending time with their dad, etc.

he'd ask you questions about why he doesn't have a dad, n if he does. why isn't he around? and a real heartbreaker.. does daddy hate him? does he not love him? is that why he isn't here?

so I guess that means it's time to go back to sunset bird! and finally explain why you moved away n never looked back, and why you don't talk to anyone but your parents from back then...

now I won't get into everything right now (im a fuckin liar. I can feel a tangent coming on)

but I wanna talk abt how cove would feel, just a bit, and how I think your future with him would look...

I think at first, he'd be really shocked, seeing this carbon copy of his much younger self. the only thing telling him that his 4-5 year old self didn't jump out of one of his many childhood pictures,

is any birthmarks or beauty marks that maybe you have, or the boys hair being curlier than his, or his skin tone, or maybe he has your nose. whatever it is, he knows he's looking at the imperfect combination of you and him.

(cove's heart is beating outta his chest right now, n you're lucky he only stumbles instead of fainting, because this really is a shock... but that deeper part inside of him, that egotistical, primal almost, part of his heart swells up at the thought, the reality. that his son looks mostly, if not entirely like him.)

but after shock, he's sad. I think he'd be really sad, because he realizes that this is why you broke up right? and no matter how in control of your emotions you think you may be, your wide eyes show how afraid, nervous, and sad you are. he knows. he knows without even talking to you and it hurts

and after he gets past the anger and confusion stage, maybe even in between in fact- which would be more natural since, I think he'd feel this all at once but that's besides the point

he'd be really sad he missed all his sons milestones. walking, first words... God he probably dreams about it (when he does eventually fall asleep), and now his heart is tugging at the seams and the seams are RIPPING.

he also starts thinking about how hard it must've been doing it by yourself. and going through all that without him, your partner.

but maybe you didn't rely on him like he relied on you? maybe you didn't trust him like he did you, maybe you just... didn't need him. like he needed you.

you did break up afterall, and you never let him know about the kid until now, so maybe you thought he'd be a failure of a father and nipped it in the bud before disaster struck...

but I also think that's where anger comes in. because you didn't tell him. he didn't have a choice at all.

he knows he had a tendency to hesitate or run away, but he thinks really hard about it, and he knows he wouldn't have ran away from this.

leaving you alone would scare him a lot more than being a father. being a bad or absent father would scare him a lot more than trying to be a good one. knowingly abandoning a life he helped create, would scare him so much more. he wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise.

so while he gets it. he doesn't get why you didn't try.

and if you explain that you worried about ruining his future, he's so upset and so mad because how could you make that choice for him? how could you take on the burden alone?

this is also where confusion merges in, because while the answers are so obvious or easy to guess, he just can't believe it. he doesn't wanna believe it...

now about your future...

cove still loves you. he's loved you his whole life, it's hard to stop even 5 years later... and seeing you, it makes his heart throb because he's dreamed about this for many nights.

you broke up with him without giving any answers. you even up and moved by the end of the week so when he tried to give you space, before talking to you, it was too late. your room was pretty much void of every sign of life.

you took all your treasured items, your clothes- spare some youd been meaning to get rid of, your pictures, your hobby items. everything. he's surprised you didn't just take the bed and frame.

he's surprised you didn't just carve out his heart n take it with you, because if it's still in his chest, why does it feel so hollow?...

it'd take a really long time to even think of a romantic relationship. if at all. maybe cove's even accepted the break up at some point, depending on how long you'd been together. but if you'd been together since you were 13, it's a hard pill to swallow. bc you can put up with his angsty teenage self, what changed...?

I think seeing you be a parent, and so adored by your son, warms up his heart. makes him fall in love a bit at the sight.

it's not instant, he's getting to know you again. and getting to know this life that he didn't even know was waiting for him.

it's a good 2 or 3 years of figuring out this mess until it becomes something that makes sense. or as much sense as it can make. and if there's still something there, no matter how miniscule. it will catch fire.

now about the kiddo... he's so scared. and I hope you took a few days of talking with cove, and prbly cliff n Kyra bc they have a lotta feelings n thoughts on this too, before you try to integrate cove into his life.

it's small. cove meeting you at the park, and either your son is asking cove a billion questions (both abt why the sky is blue, and awkward questions abt why he wasn't present before...)

or he's trying to drag him on the monkey bars (doesn't work, cove's feet are on the ground still....)

or he's sitting silently on the blanket, reading, occasionally showing cove his favorite scene of the picture book or making him pronounce a word

but it does get bigger, it becomes lunch-n-movie dates, spending the night at your house (at your son's insistence. prbly bc he didn't want him to leave after a fun day), then cove taking him out alone..

it's a lot. and sometimes it feels like you're going backwards or that you're not moving at all because it's hard, for awhile. and even though his dad is on speed dial, there's not enough information he can give cove in how to take care of and deal with a kid he just met a few months ago.

especially a kid who already has a bit of personality, is hell on wheels (like most 5 year olds), possibly has many questions n sometimes problems with cove suddenly being here... it's a lot. n cliff can't help with any of it really.

he does get comfortable, eventually. although there's still times when he's sad, sometimes even angry about what happened, and all he's missed out on, he's so so happy to not miss out on anything else.

#olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #angst

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