#horrible list shane i mean come on

[macncheems]

hes my enemy now. im also converting to be a boogara. this is was you get for having a bad list.

[barkspawn]

lol then can we get "i love you, no matter what that means to you, i'm going to take care of you, even if you dont want me to" prompt from the romantic quotes prompt list with elliott? <3 i love your writing

Thank you, I'll never get used to the fact that people like my stuff. it's wild.

and tbh, I'm realizing the things I enjoy writing the most, which is suuuuuuuuuuuper helpful. so thank YOU and the others who send in prompts.

Amelia had been struggling for the past few weeks. Her depression took a turn for the worse when she heard of her father falling ill and after receiving a spiteful email from an old "friend" explaining how selfish and idiotic she was for leaving the city. It was hurtful enough to wear her down. 

Amelia was keeping up with the crops okay and was trying extra hard to make the animals happy. She knew he was picking on her, but when Shane visited with a new chick and made a comment about how the crops seemed small and dinky, she felt herself hit a low. She knew he'd feel horrible if he knew, so she decided not to tell him. 

Elliott was an entirely different situation. They'd been together for a year and a half and she couldn't stomach letting him see her like this. He knew something was wrong right away and decided to give her space for a few days, deciding today to be a little more persistent. 

Amelia looked down at her phone as it rang. She sat on the couch with her knees drawn to her chest, just staring at the rustic painting on the wall in thought. The third time the phone started to ring she sighed, answering the call. 

"Hello?" She winced, not even recognizing her own voice. 

"Hey, love," Elliott started, trying to keep his tone as normal as possible, even if he was sick with worry, "I've missed you. I was thinking I'll bring some food to you this evening. We'll curl up and watch a movie."

The idea seemed nice to her, but she genuinely believed it wasn't what she deserved. Before thinking, she spoke, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you, El. Can you come by soon?"

He paused for a long moment before answering, "of course. I'll leave now. I love you."

"I love you too," she responded too quickly, hanging up and letting tears fall as a sob escaped her. This is how it had to be. 

Elliot was a brilliant man with a bright and happy future ahead of him. She could not let herself be the one responsible for holding him back. It wouldn't be fair. She loved him with her whole being, which is why she had to stop this. He deserved so much more. 

After a moment, she stood to clean herself up, pacing until she heard his footsteps on the porch. He gave a light knock before opening the door, his smile brightening up the entire room. He looked as handsome as ever, a small container that could only be from the saloon in his hands. His smile and his general presence lifted her spirits a bit. For a moment, she wondered if this was a mistake. Quickly, she resolved that it needed to be done. It was for him, not her. 

Closing the door behind him, he set the food on the counter and moved to wrap his arms around her in a tight, loving hug that broke her heart. When she didn't hug him back, he pulled back, his hands on her shoulders. 

"Amelia? What's on your mind?" He searched her face, not oblivious to her tear-stained eyes and cheeks. She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

"Elliott, I don't think we should see each other anymore."

His hands fell from her shoulders as he looked over her face once more. Something was wrong and she wasn't okay. He knew that. Still, his heart ached. 

"I see," he responded after a long moment, "may I ask if it is something I've done or-"

"No, no, El," she interjected, tears unable to be stopped, "You've been perfect in every way.. I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep pretending I'm right for you when I'm so clearly not."

He flinched at that, cursing his own eyes for going misty, "if that is what you want, Amelia, I will not fight you. I am never far.. should you need me for anything."

He made his way to the door before stepping through, the sob that came from behind the door ripping his heart to pieces more than her leaving him ever could. 

His chest tight and his eyes red, he turned back to town. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Elliott sat at the small fire outside of his shack, checking his phone for the millionth time before sighing and shoving it in his pocket. He poured the rest of the wine into his glass, noticing a dark figure at the end of the pier as he went to take a drink. When he focused, he saw it was Sebastian, sitting quietly on the edge. 

Elliott stood, glass in hand, and headed down the end of the pier to stand behind the younger man. 

"Sebastian, right?"

Sebastian looked up at him, sarcastic remark locked and loaded, but bit it back as he saw the man's face. Elliott was a little bit of a mess himself. Sebastian just nodded and stared back toward the ocean. 

"You.. you're Amelia's friend, aren't you?"

"I mean, yeah," Sebastian started, his expression twisted in confusion, "why, aren't you her boyfriend?"

Elliott looked down at his glass, tracing the rim, "as of this morning, no. I'm not."

Sebastian deflated, frowning as he moved aside for Elliott to sit. He really didn't care enough about Elliott in the equation, but about how Amelia was. They'd been best friends for a year and she was head over heels for this guy. 

"Sorry to hear, man," he stared ahead, his frown deeper still than usual. 

"Me too," Elliott started as he sat beside him, "I just.. I wanted to ask you," his voice was quiet, almost feeling guilty for asking, "have you spoken with her in the last few days?"

Sebastian turned to give the man a confused look before his expression softened, "yeah, I guess. She canceled plans we had and she said she wasn't feeling good. Why?"

Elliott pinched the bridge of his nose, "when I saw her today, it was like she was a different person," he started, voice still shaking, "she was cold and distant. But she looked like she hadn't been eating or something of the like," he paused again, turning to look at the other man, "I'm worried about her."

Sebastian's brow knit together as he stared, deep in thought, "and, if you're cool with telling me, what did she say?"

"She said she couldn't do it anymore. She told me it wasn't me and that I was great.. she said she wasn't right for me."

Sebastian sat and thought for a long moment, frowning before he sighed, "I know her dad is sick," Elliott nodded, his frown growing deeper, "and she got this letter from an old friend. She wouldn't tell me more.." Elliott sighed as Sebastian turned to look at him, "did she seem depressed? Like what you see in those shitty commercials, but real and not forced?"

Elliott thought for a long moment. He thought about every word she said, how she seemed so tired and thin, and how she looked and sounded. 

"Yeah, it was a lot like that."

"There's your answer, dude," he pulled out his cigarettes, "I'll check on her later, but she adores you. She was talking about it last week ."

Somehow, Elliott felt worse hearing that. He gave a small nod, taking a long drink of his wine, frowning as the dregs swirled around the bottom of his glass.

"Is it an awful idea to reach out to her the day she left me?"

Sebastian nodded, taking a long drag of his cigarette, "I'll swing by tonight. I have your number and I'll text you how she is. Swing by in the morning and just… do your poetic… artistic… romantic shit."

Elliott gave a small chuckle before shifting to stand up, "thank you, Sebastian. I'm very glad to have gotten your insight."

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Elliott woke up earlier than he usually would have, gathering some different things to take with him to the farm. He created a care package of sorts, picking up her favorite hot tea, some ingredients for different meals he knew she loved, a pair of his most comfortable pajamas (as he couldn't go and buy her a new set before going over), and a journal. He had opened up to a few pages, writing little affirmations on some pages. 

He felt horrible for not recognizing how much she was suffering. He'd been there before, but not in a long time. Once he gathered everything, he sighed, heading toward the farm. 

As he made his way there, his confidence waned a bit as he grew closer. He hoped she wouldn't be mad at him for coming, but Sebastian's text made it pretty clear that Elliott coming over would help her, so it was the plan. He walked up the steps, taking his time before knocking lightly on the door. 

His heart dropped as he saw her open the door. She was exhausted and pale like she hadn't slept for days. 

"Elliott?" She started, her voice cracking. 

"May I come in?" He gestured to the bag he held with all of the stuff he had. She paused for a long moment before sighing and opening the door, allowing him to pass. 

"I'm not sure why you'd come," she frowned, her arms wrapping around herself, "I'm not your responsibility. You don't have to care anymore."

He gave her a gentle look as he placed the bag down before walking over to her, his voice quiet but firm, "Amelia, I can see you're struggling. Whether or not being with me is a part of you getting better, I love you, no matter what that means to you," he started, shifting to gesture to the bag, "I'm going to take care of you, even if you don't want me to. Because you should never be alone when you feel this way, no one should."

Her gaze fell to the floor as she failed to stop her tears from falling. After a long moment, she gave a small nod. 

"I'll never force it, but tell me if you should like a hug. Sometimes such a small– oof," he was cut off as she wrapped her arms around his waist almost too tightly. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back with as much emotion as he could show. He felt her shaking, like a string had snapped that was holding her up, leaving her a crying mess in his arms. His heart broke for her, but he was so glad he was here. 

They stayed like that for an incredibly long time before he pulled back to grab the pajamas from the bag and brought them to her.

"Go ahead and take a nice, hot shower. I'll make you some food. You can call me if you need me."

After a few hours, she had eaten, explained everything, and broke down once more in his arms. He just sat beside her, intently listening as she cried and spoke. She couldn't seem to look at him when she finished. 

"Amelia, that woman who sent that is no friend. She is simply jealous that you were able to escape and make a new life for yourself," he started, moving to take her hand but stopping himself, "and I'm so sorry about your father. If you'd like me to be, I'll be here every step of the way. If you want me to remain at a distance, Sebastian will definitely be here as well."

She wiped away a new wave of tears, letting herself lean into him once more, "I love you more than anything. I know it's not my place to say it, but I can't just not tell you how loved you truly are."

After a long moment, she stood on her toes and pressed a small, painfully gentle kiss to Elliott's lips. 

"I.. don't want to leave you, El..," she started, "I just can't stand the idea of holding you back or bringing you down.."

The small kiss gave him the push to take her hands in his, "you couldn't do either of those things if you tried. I'm right here if you still want me. And even if you don't, for that matter. I won't leave your side until I know that you're okay and happy. Now, would you like to watch a horrible movie?"

She cracked a small smile for the first time in days before pulling him into one more tight hug. 

"You deserve so much better than me, you know," she sighed, "I've always considered you out of my league, but-"

"None of that," he pulled back, hushing her, "you deserve the world and I intend on giving that to you, whether you believe me or not because I love you."

She stared up at him, her smile growing for the first time in days, "I love you, El," she shook her head, "thank you for not… giving up. It would have been the biggest mistake I'd ever made.."

"So you don't want to stop seeing me?" He couldn't help the hope in his voice, relaxing when she shook her head. He continued, "I'm happier to hear that than I can begin to show," he smiled and pulled back toward the couch, "now shall we watch shoddy animatronics try to fight each other?"

She laughed, the feeling almost unfamiliar, as she moved to curl up beside him on the couch with a blanket. 

This is where she belonged and she was endlessly glad he didn't give up on her. 

With people who care for her this much, how could she not see herself being okay?

She rest her head on his shoulder, laughing at the movie with her hand in his.

[clover-mittens]

ALL ABOUT PEDRO

Pedro Pascal x f!OC

Credits to gif maker!

Summary: Shane Andrews, a young woman from Georgia now living on her own in the center of the universe -- New York. Being on her own Shane suddenly feels more lonely than ever; that slowly starts to change, as she realizes she was never as alone as she had thought.

Words: 1.1k

next chapter ⎸ master list

All About Pedro

part one: The actor and the waitress.

"Good morning, Greg.", Shane chimes as she walks through the employee's entrance at the back of the small diner she works at. The diner is family owned and has been running for almost a hundred years, yet it still sits somewhat quietly at the very same corner it was built on.

Greg looks behind him, towards the sweet voice of the young woman he'd hired just a few months back, yet she had already made such a huge impact on his family's little diner. "Morning, Shane.", a smile spreads on his lips as his eyes land on the woman, putting on her apron.

After putting on her apron Shane walks out into the diner, quickly picking up a pot filled with newly brewed coffee, and making her way around the counter. Like every other day her first stop is at table four, where the same mustached man sits, just like yesterday and the day before that... without asking Shane refills his half-empty mug with new, warm coffee. "Thanks.", he nods at the gesture not looking up from the papers in front of him.

"What are we reading today?", she asks, making small talk, keeping her eyes and attention on the man as she walks a few tables away to pick up an empty and dirty plate.

The man lifts his head, focusing on Shane as he rests his head on his hand. "Script; just this thing I'm working on.", the diner is quiet, except for the older man there are just a couple of teenagers looking all lovey-dovey at the other end of the room.

Though this man sits here for at least a few hours every morning Shane still doesn't know his name; she has never had the nerve to even ask him. "Exciting. Something you wrote... or?", she presses for more information. Exchanges like this, with random people, is partly why Shane loves working at Joana's, she enjoys conversations with strangers from all sorts of different places and backgrounds. Working at a small diner like this gives her time to sit down and just chat for a while.

He shakes his head, before taking a big gulp of his black coffee. "Definitely not. It's for a movie I'll be working on; we start training next week."

"Training? Like choreography and such?"

"Yeah, kind of -- like stage fighting."

Shane's eyes must be glowing with envy at this point, her mother grew up acting, and so did Shane for a few years of her life when she was younger, but when her mother got into a horrible life-changing accident Shane's dad decided that acting wasn't for his daughter. If it wasn't for the fact that it would disappoint her family she would have gone back into acting again, on her own terms this time. "Well, ain't you just the coolest person ever.", though her southern accent may sound sarcastic to some, she means every word. She can only dream of being a movie star, even if the role is small.

The man sits up fully just to lean back in the comfy booth, leaving a red mark on his cheek from resting it on his hand. Shane chuckles lightly. "So," the man double-checks Shane's name tag, even though he's known her name from the first time she filled up his mug. "Shane, where do you come from? With an accent like that I know it ain't from here.", he tries to impersonate her southern accent.

"Georgia -- born in California, but I grew up in Georgia.", she specifies, making the man nod, now understanding the rather strong accent.

Shane nods lightly toward the man, motioning for him to take his turn telling about his upbringing. "A bit messy. I was born in Chile, lived in Denmark for a bit while in political asylum, but then ultimately moved to Texas where I grew up.", the woman's eyes widen. "Now I'm here.", he announces proudly.

"That you are. Are you filming the movie here?", Shane's voice indicates that she's assuming it's just a small role in a minor movie.

"No, I'll actually be flying out to England in a few days. Depending on the movie I sometimes get to travel quite a bit while filming.", this has Shane absolutely starstruck, she is completely in love with whatever life it is that this man lives. "I'll come back though; New York is my home and I've fallen slightly in love with this place.", he says, this place being Joana's. He takes a quick look at his watch, realizing how long he's been at the diner already. "I should go now, but I'll see you tomorrow.", with that he stands up, taking his script with him as he walks towards the exit. "I'm Pedro by the way."

The young woman is left swooning in the booth, almost forgetting that she's here to work. Shane just got a whole lot more dream material and she finds herself excited for tomorrow when she'll see Pedro again, ready to hear more about him and his life as an actor. She's so in her own world that the sound of her boss calling out for her makes her jump slightly. She looks dumbfounded at Greg, he rolls his eyes at her. "Table eight.", he says, slightly annoyed, motioning towards the dirty table the two teenagers had been sitting at.

---

Shane's standing outside her apartment, unlocking the door when someone calls out her name from down the hallway. "Shane, hi. Sorry if I frightened you.", it's her sweet old neighbor, Mrs. Williams.

"That's quite alright. What's up?", Shane asks, having already noticed the foil cover plate in her wrinkly hands.

Mrs. Williams hands Shane the lukewarm plate, it's not the first time the elderly neighbor has brought food for Shane since she moved in next door. "Made a bit too much food; sometimes I forget it's just Darren and myself.", the old lady says as if she doesn't do it on purpose to make sure that the young southern woman is eating well.

A smile spreads on Shane's lips. "Thank you.", a genuine one at that. Shane knows she doesn't feel like making dinner herself when she gets home from work late, so she's beyond grateful to have such lovely neighbors. Mrs. Williams nods at Shane before walking off to her own apartment. Shane keeps an eye on the old woman before she too gets inside her home.

Inside, it only takes a few seconds before she's practically tackled by Tucker, her golden retriever. "Hi, buddy, did ya miss me?", Shane puts the plate of food down on the small table standing in her entranceway before throwing herself to the floor to greet her excited dog. "I have a lot to fill you in on. Come on.", she boops the dog's nose, making him sneeze before she gets up from the floor and takes her food from the table, bringing it into the living room, Tucker quickly following behind her.

[honey-dewey]

Little Leather Boots

Pairing: Shane ‘Dio’ Morrissey/Reader

Words: 4,442

Warnings: Reader is pregnant and is very worried about it, mentions of abortion but it doesn’t happen, lots of tears, a very worried and loving Dio, mention of c-section, I think that’s it folks. 

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell

After one too many wild nights with your goth boyfriend, you somehow wind up pregnant, which you didn’t even think was possible considering that you and Dio always used protection. But here you are, pregnant and terrified that Dio ‘I hate kids’ Morrissey will be pissed. No matter what happens, it’s going to be a very long nine months. 

You woke up to an empty bed, as was the unfortunate usual. Your body ached in all the right places as you slid into Dio’s shirt from last night and your own pyjama bottoms. The apartment was cold, too cold as you headed to the bathroom, yawning widely. 

It was only when you opened the bathroom door that the nausea hit you like a truck. You immediately felt your knees go weak, gagging and dry heaving over the sink. When you resurfaced, you rinsed your mouth out and met your own teary eyes in the mirror. Wiping away the evidence, you picked up your phone, trailing slowly to the kitchen. Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, you called into work, taking the day off. 

The next thing you did was text Dio. He was, understandably, worried. You told him you felt better, and that it was probably just a stomach bug or something. Nothing to worry about, nothing to come home early for. 

Truthfully, you were feeling better. Too better. Settling on the couch, you googled problems where nausea was a symptom. Not much came up that was possible. A stomach bug, but nausea was your only symptom. Same went for the flu and all the other illnesses. And then, right at the end of the list, was pregnancy. 

You scoffed it off, tossing your phone down. As much as Dio complained in the first few weeks, he always used a condom. Always. You’d asked him once if he ever wanted kids, and his response had been a steady fuck no. 

But then you began to think about it harder. You’d always had irregular and unpredictable periods, so the fact that you hadn’t had one in a while wasn���t super suspicious, and your weight had fluctuated, but that was because Dio insisted on a cherry pie last week. No, you couldn’t be pregnant. 

“But what if,” you whispered out loud, looking at the wall and sinking into thought. “It would explain a lot.” 

Deciding to prove to yourself that you were absolutely not pregnant, you stood and put on a decent pair of pants, scooping up your wallet and heading to the CVS. 

The closer the drug store got, the more nervous you became. What if you were pregnant? Would you get rid of the baby? Would Dio dump you if you didn’t want to? Who would take care of you and your baby? 

Shaking your head, you walked into the CVS and took a breath. This would be very easy because you were definitely not pregnant. 

You grabbed a three pack of tests and stood in the self checkout line, hyperaware of the heavily pregnant woman behind you. As you rang up your purchase and dug around in your wallet, you heard her sigh. “I remember when I bought mine.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Sorry!” The woman said sweetly, smiling at you. “I was just remembering when I bought my test for my baby. It’s a magical day.” 

You tried to smile back. “Magical.” 

The woman nodded. “Does your husband know?” 

“I’m not married,” you breathed, staring down at the CVS bag with watering eyes. “He hasn’t, I don’t know if he’ll,” 

“Oh sweetie,” the woman said, coming closer and putting an arm around you. “I'm so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” 

You shook your head, wiping away tears. “It’s not your fault,” you said softly. “You didn’t know.” 

The woman sighed, rubbing your arm. “Darling, go home, drink some water, and take the test. I promise, no harm can come from just knowing.” 

Nodding, you took your purchase and waved to the woman. She waved back as you began your short walk to your apartment. 

Taking her advice, you drank water, read over the instructions in the pregnancy test box, and immediately moved everything into the bathroom. 

As soon as you shut the door, you called one of Dio’s friends. Raven was a close confidant of yours and could probably be trusted with this secret. 

“Yo,” Raven said as she picked up. 

“Raven I think I might be pregnant.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” Raven asked. “Did you take a test yet, are you sure?” 

You sat in the bathtub, shaking your head. “Not yet,” you mumbled. “I bought a few.” 

Raven made a noise of sympathy. “Dolly, do you want me over there?” 

“Yes please,” you said, hating how weak you sounded. 

“Be there in five.” 

The apartment was deafeningly silent for five minutes before Raven forewent knocking and just opened your front door. “Dolly, where are you?” 

“Bathroom!” 

Raven’s concerned face appeared in your bathroom door. She took in the likely pitiful sight of you sitting in the bathtub and immediately joined you. “Hon, you’re a hot fucking mess in here.” 

“I know,” you said, head in your hands. “The tests are on the counter. I haven’t taken them yet.” 

“You should,” Raven said, standing and passing you one of the tests. “Worst case scenario, you are knocked up and Dio gets mad, so I kick his ass and take you to my place.” 

You snorted and stood. “Thanks Rav,” you said softly, taking the test. “Now get out of the bathroom.” 

Two agonizing minutes later, you’d washed your hands and taken the tests, not necessarily in that order. Raven knocked, and you opened the door for her. 

“Can I be the Godmother?” She asked, leading you out of the bathroom and away from the tests that need a few minutes. 

“What?” 

“If you are pregnant,” she explained. “Can I be the Godmother?” 

You sighed. “Raven, I’m not even sure I’m going to keep the baby yet if I’m pregnant.” 

Raven dramatically rolled her eyes. “Killjoy,” she groaned, falling into your couch. “Okay, better question. How’re you gonna tell Dio?” 

It was something you hadn’t considered yet. “Uh.” You fidgeted with a pillow, trying to think. “I don’t know. Eventually, I guess he’ll find out when I start looking like I swallowed a planet, but, well, I dunno.” 

A timer dinged in the background, and Raven shot to her feet. “Do you wanna look first or should I?” 

“You do it,” you said, suddenly feeling like your mouth was full of cotton. You watched Raven open the bathroom door, pick up the test, and stare down at it. 

“Hey Doll,” she said, leaning her hip against the bathroom door frame and holding up the test. “Positive. All three of them.” 

Your breath stopped. “Really?” A horrible euphoria spread through your body as you took the test from Raven. Sure enough, it said positive. “Oh my god.” 

Raven left shortly after that, apologizing that she couldn’t stay longer. 

“You call me if Dio flips his shit,” she said, hugging you close. “If he won’t take care of it, I promise I’ll be the best damn auntie in New York.” 

You smiled, waving to her as she went. Sitting on the couch, finally alone, you picked up your phone and dialed a familiar number. 

“Baby?” 

“Hey Mama,” you said, twisting a necklace Dio had gotten you last year. “I have something important to tell you.” 

Your mother gasped. “Are you engaged? Did he finally ask?”

You sighed, smiling to yourself. Despite her original hang ups with your goth boyfriend, she’d come to love Dio like he was one of her own kids, and had been pestering since your four year anniversary to get married. “No Mama, he hasn’t proposed. But I, well, I might need to come spend some time with you. For a while.” 

“Oh darling, what happened?” 

You took a breath, trying to force the words out of your mouth. “I’m pregnant.” 

There was silence on the other end. “Mama?” 

“Baby,” your mother said, voice thick with tears. “Baby are you happy?” 

You began to cry too. “Yes Mama, I think I am.”

Your mother let out a breath. “That’s all I care about. If you’re happy, I’m happy. Oh your father is going to be thrilled! Does Dio know?” 

“Not yet,” you said, nerves returning. “I don’t know when or how I’m gonna tell him, but I’m just terrified he’ll be mad.” 

“Mad that you’re pregnant with his baby?” 

“Mama, he hates kids,” you reminded. “That’s why I might have to come stay with you. Raven offered to help me, but if things go south, I want you.” 

Your mother was quiet for a second. “Of course. Should I tell your father?” 

You smiled. “Please do. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” 

“You call me as soon as you tell him, no matter what. I want to congratulate or yell at him.” 

Laughing, you said goodbye to your mother and hung up, leaving you alone to figure out how you’d break the news to Dio. 

He came home hours later, finding you on the couch watching bad reality TV. “That bad, hm?” 

You groaned. “You have no idea.” You’d cleaned the bathroom and hid the evidence, stashing one pregnancy test in your bedside table and throwing the other two out. 

Dio chuckled, falling onto the couch and kissing you. “How’re you feeling?” 

“Better,” you lied. “Raven came around and kept me company for a bit, and then my mom called because apparently we hadn’t talked in a while.” 

“Did she ask if we were engaged?” 

“What do you think?” You laughed, leaning against Dio’s chest. “Oh! Guess what!” 

“Hm?” 

You pulled out your phone, scrolling through Instagram until you found a specific photo. “My old high school best friend is pregnant!” 

Dio squinted at the photo, and you smiled, handing him his glasses from the coffee table. He was technically supposed to wear them all the time, but he said they ruined his vibe so he never actually wore them. 

“Which one is this?” He asked, adjusting his glasses and looking at you. 

“Bridgit, the cute blonde who accidentally started a fire in the gym.” 

Dio nodded. “She’s huge.” 

You snorted, taking your phone back. “She’s eight months pregnant, Dio. Of course she’s huge. I dunno how I’d handle being that pregnant.” 

“Yeah well,” Dio said, standing. “You’ll never have to.” 

That sent a bolt of fear through you. Resting a hand on your stomach, against the nearly invisible baby you were protecting, you spoke with a certain caution. “You really don’t want kids, do you?” 

“We’ve had this talk,” Dio reminded, sitting back down with a drink in hand. “No, I don’t. I’d be a shit father.” 

“Aw, I think you’d be great at it,” you said, trying to ease your nerves. “Dio Morrissey, holding a tiny little baby, I can see it now.” 

Dio chuckled, nudging you. “Where’s all this coming from? We haven’t talked babies in a year.” 

You shrugged. “I’m not exactly getting younger,” you mumbled. “And when Mama called, she asked me when I was planning on having kids.” 

“Oh,” Dio breathed, putting an arm around you. “What’d you say?” 

“I-“ you faltered, meeting Dio’s deep brown eyes. You hoped, very fleetingly, that your baby would have his eyes. “I told her,” you said slowly, realizing it was now or never. “I told her I was already pregnant, Dio.” 

It was like time stopped. Dio’s eyes went wide, his entire body stilling. “You’re kidding,” he said, so softly you almost didn’t hear. “I don’t, I mean, baby why are you crying?”

You wiped your eyes, chest heaving. “I love you so much, and I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want to get rid of the baby, and I’m scared Dio!” You stumbled over your words, still sobbing. 

Dio shook his head, pulling you close. “I would never make you leave,” he promised. “Not over this.” 

You went still, relaxing in the familiar arms. “You- you’re not mad?” 

“Mad?” Dio pulled away, cradling your face in his hands. “No! I could never be mad at you! It wasn’t your fault and you had no control over any of this.”

Then, you asked the all important question. “Are we going to keep it?” 

Dio took your hands, squeezing them tight. “Do you want to keep it? I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to, okay? Think about yourself, not me. What do you want?” 

You thought about it, finally coming to a conclusion after a minute. “I want to keep it.” 

“Okay then,” Dio said. “I guess we’re having a baby.” 

The rest of the night was a whirlwind. You called your mother, and she and your father congratulated you and made you promise to come visit soon. Raven was also called, swearing violently at Dio until you reassured her that he was okay with the scenario. 

After dinner, you made tea for yourself, standing in the kitchen in Dio’s pyjamas. He came up behind you, spanning his hands across your belly. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you said, leaning into his touch. “Your hands are freezing.” 

You two spent the better part of the night like that. You resting and Dio always with a hand on your belly, thumb stroking over the dip of your waist or the divot of your hip bone. 

“You sir,” you said when you finally got into bed and Dio put a protective hand over your waist. “Are obsessed.” 

“I can’t help it,” Dio purred softly, kissing your forehead. “My darling is going to be a mother, and I’m going to be a father. I’m not obsessed. I’m protecting.” 

You smiled. “Same thing.” 

The next month was surprisingly hard. You weren’t really showing, but Dio rubbed your belly anyway. He was surprisingly physically affectionate, and did something that shocked you to your core. 

He quit smoking. 

For almost thirty days, you and him struggled in your own ways, always there to hold the other up as Dio’s hands shook and you dry heaved literally every morning. 

Finally, you had a doctor’s appointment. You’d see your baby for the first time and find out how far you were. As you wiggled into a shirt, you turned in the mirror and gasped. “Dio!” 

Dio came rushing into the bathroom. “What’s wrong?” 

You pressed a hand over your belly. “Look.” 

Coming up behind you, Dio grinned when he saw what you were seeing. A baby bump. An unmistakable baby bump. 

“She’s real,” Dio breathed, and you grinned. 

“What makes you think I’m having a girl?” 

Dio smiled, kissing the back of your neck. “I want a girl.” 

You laughed. “Dio, the sex of our baby is not dependent on your desires.”

“But it should be,” Dio said. “Because I want a girl.” 

“Why?” You asked, tugging on a sweater and covering the bump. 

Dio shrugged. “I had to look after four brothers growing up,” he explained. “I kinda want to take care of a baby girl now.” 

You smiled. “You’re a sap.” 

“I’m your sap,” he corrected, stepping into his boots and zipping them up. “C’mon, we don’t wanna be late.” 

The trip to the doctor was odd. Your doctor was a lovely older man who, while he was a bit blunt, was soft spoken and genuinely seemed to care. 

“And there’s your baby,” he said, turning the screen so you could see. He adjusted the transducer on your belly and you took a big breath, finally seeing your baby. 

“She’s beautiful,” Dio murmured, squeezing your hands. 

“They.” 

“She.” 

“Dio!” You said playfully. “We don’t know the sex yet!” 

The doctor chuckled, moving the transducer a bit. “Looks like everything is developing as expected. You’re about twelve weeks, or three months along, although it’s hard to tell because you’re not sure of the date of conception. But, if you’re at three months now, then your due date should be mid-April. However, if the baby is a week or two early or late, we shouldn’t worry.” 

“And when can we learn the sex?” Dio asked, still holding your hands. 

“We can typically start to see it at about 18 weeks, but we’ll take a look at 22 just to be sure we can see it,” the doctor said, putting the transducer down and wiping your belly off. “We can schedule your next appointment for the sex of the baby now, if you want.”

You and Dio both nodded. “Thank you so much doctor,” you said as you tugged your shirt back over your stomach. 

In the next ten weeks, you and Dio began to get ready for a baby. Your old spare room in the apartment that no longer smelled like cigarettes was cleared out and turned into a beautiful nursery. Despite your insistence that it couldn’t be painted black, Dio still managed to put his touch in it. By the time you were getting ready for your second appointment, the nursery was basically done. 

“I think we did good,” you decided, looking at the nursery as you went to grab Dio so you wouldn’t be late. The walls were a smooth cream color, with the same hardwood as the rest of the apartment covered in a soft black rug. The furniture was all black, with white detailing on the crib’s blankets. Dio had found a gorgeous Edgar Allen Poe blanket that he’d insisted upon, and that was how the classic gothic literature theme came to be. After the blanket came a mobile that had ravens, and then a few picture frames with Dio’s favorite Poe passages. 

“Me too,” Dio said, standing from where he’d been attempting to read a book and coming over to kiss you. “Ready?” 

You nodded. “Absolutely. Mama’s still mad we aren’t having a gender reveal party.” 

“Gender is a construct,” Dio reminded you with a soft smile. “As long as our bean is healthy, I will be happy.” 

Grinning, you made a face as the baby kicked you. “Ow! Tiny motherfucker’s already got your punches,” you grumbled, rubbing a hand over your belly. 

Dio chuckled. “Can’t inherit an ability to throw a punch.” 

“Yeah, well,” you said lowly. “If this kid keeps this up, I won’t have much by way of internal organs when we’re done here.” 

Your second appointment was less stressful than the first. You were out of the danger zone with the risk of miscarriage, and today was all about being happy. 

“Alright,” the doctor said, pressing the transducer to your belly and beginning to move it around. “22-ish weeks, how’re we feeling?” 

“I’m getting six hours of sleep a night and eating almost double what I was last year,” you said, staring up at the ceiling. “I feel terrible.” 

The doctor smiled. “And you, Mr. Morrissey?” 

Dio shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to living with the world’s crankiest pregnant person.” 

“Bitch,” you said under your breath, smiling while you did it. 

“Mhm,” Dio kissed your hand, the warmth of his face a weird contrast to the cold of his lip piercing. “Love you too.” 

The doctor turned the screen towards you. “Alright. Are we ready?” 

You and Dio both nodded. 

“So, there’s the head,” the doctor said, pointing to the screen. “Hands, feet, everything is developing normally, and it looks like you’re having a little girl. Congratulations.” 

You and Dio walked out of that appointment and immediately stopped for ice cream, at your request. You eagerly texted everyone, giving them the news, and Dio handed you a cup of bright pink ice cream. “Congratulations.” 

“Thank you,” you said, taking a bite of the ice cream and sitting on a bench, rubbing your belly. “So, you must be over the moon. You’re getting your little girl.” 

Dio grinned, leaning against your shoulder. “Baby, I have never been happier.” 

Three weeks later, sometime during month 6, you started to feel the euphoria die. You were in pain, and lots of it. Every day, the baby seemed to find new ways to make you suffer. Shifting around and sitting practically on your bladder at one in the morning, giving you hellish cravings that made Dio gag more than once, and for a whole week you had nausea so powerful that you could barely eat. No matter how many times Dio kissed over the now obvious swell of your belly, you felt a creeping horror at the stretch marks you were now sporting. 

“Oh my god!” You hissed, crawling out of bed and swearing violently as you began to make slow laps around the apartment, trying to ease your pain. “Fuck!” 

As you trailed from the kitchen to the bedroom, you felt something warm trickle down your leg. Looking down, a gripping terror took your heart as you realized exactly what had just happened. Three months early, your water had broke. You felt your breath quicken as you did the only rational thing. You screamed for Dio. 

“Shane!” You yelled, the panic forcing his given name out of your mouth. “Fuck! Shane!” 

Dio came skidding out of the bedroom in all his half asleep glory, eyes wide. “What’s wrong?” He said, voice urgent. “Babe? Talk to me!” 

“Water,” you gasped, reaching out to him. “Shit. Water just broke.” 

“What?” Now Dio’s panic met yours, but he was significantly better at keeping a level head. “Okay, not freaking out. We are not freaking out. Look at me. That’s it, there we go.” As he talked, he led you from the puddle of amniotic fluids on the kitchen floor to the bedroom, folding up a towel and guiding you to sit. “I’ll call the doctor, okay? You just relax.” 

Dio scooped his phone up, anxiously dialing the number for the office. 

“Hello? Yes, my partner’s water just broke. Yes, they’re about twenty five week. Of course. Yes. Definitely. Okay, thank you.” 

He hung up, sitting next to you and putting a careful hand on your back. “Babe. C’mon, we’ve got to get to the hospital.” 

You nodded, standing and gripping Dio’s hand as he led you to the car, laying the towel down in the passenger seat and helping you sit. 

“Baby, listen to me,” Dio said softly, taking your hand as soon as he was in the car. “The doctor said you’re probably going to be okay, and so is the baby. 25 weeks is super early, but there’s a high chance you’ll both be okay.” 

“Okay,” you said, placing your hands over your belly. “It seems she’s also inherited your dramatic flair.” 

Dio chuckled. “Close your eyes. We’ll be there before you know it.” 

Despite the late hour, the hospital was alive with activity. A kind nurse led you to the delivery wing, gave you a hospital gown, and promised to get the doctor. 

He was in the room within minutes, checking your dilation and sighing. “So,” he said, standing. “We’ve got options here. Option one, a natural birth. Technically possible, but risky. Option two, c-section. Less risky, but it leaves a scar and you’d need more recovery time.”

It wasn’t a hard choice for you. “Whatever’s safest for the baby.” 

The doctor nodded. “Okay. C-section it is. Mr. Morrissey, if I could ask you to leave the room.”

“What?” 

“With the baby being this early, we don’t want anything to complicate the procedure,” the doctor explained. “Please, I promise we’ll get you if anything major happens.” 

“Wait!” You shouted, gripping Dio’s hand. “He can’t stay?” 

“I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “But no.” 

Dio’s hands were shaking as you kissed them. “Darling, I’ll be fine,” you promised. “Dio, hon, look at me. Just go wait outside. I’ll yell if I need anything.” 

Dio turned to the doctor after kissing you and rasping out a soft farewell. “You come get me if anything goes wrong,” he said softly, so you wouldn’t hear. “And if you have to choose between one or the other,” he glanced at you, knowing you’d actively disagree with what he was about to say. “You save my partner, okay?” 

The doctor nodded. “Of course,” he said. “You can wait right there. This won’t take long, I promise.” 

Apparently, the doctor was a big fat liar. Almost an hour later, Dio was leaning against your mother’s shoulder, half asleep. It had taken so long that they’d had time to show up, which wasn’t helping Dio’s building anxiety. 

Finally, finally, a nurse opened the door. “Morrissey?” 

Dio jumped to his feet, despite almost falling asleep mere minutes before. “Yes?” 

“The procedure was a success,” the nurse explained. “Both your partner and your daughter are okay. Would you like to see?” 

Dio’s heart pounded as he entered the room. You looked completely exhausted, pale and sweaty but alive. You smiled upon seeing him, weakly gripping his hand. “Told you,” you mumbled. 

He grinned, but his attention was soon grabbed by the tiny baby in the room. She was connected to more wires and tubes than you were, but Dio didn’t care. He put a hand against the glass of the chamber she was in, tears starting to flow. “She’s perfect.” 

“She is,” you agreed, looking at your baby. “Is my mama here?” 

Dio nodded, still entranced by the baby. “Welcome to the world,” he said softly. “Athena Morrissey.” 

You and Athena were in the hospital for another month, Dio visiting daily to see you and hold you upright as you saw your little girl. She kept getting stronger, defying every odd and surprising you whenever she could.

It was hard, the first few weeks home. Athena would be in the NICU for a bit longer, until she was healthier, but Dio told you that this was just a chance to truly prepare for the little bundle of joy. 

The day you took her home was a tear jerker. Dio insisted on carrying her through the door, the tiny little thing swaddled in his arms as he gave the dead asleep Athena an apartment tour. 

That night, you smiled, watching Dio away back and forth with Athena in his arms. He’d abandoned his jacket for the comfort of something softer, Athena’s white onesie a contrast against his black shirt. 

“Y’know how, almost ten months ago, I joked that I could totally see you holding a baby,” you said softly, standing and moving to Dio’s side. 

“Yeah?” 

You smiled, stroking a finger down Athena’s cheek. “You look so natural like this,” you said. “You’re gonna be an amazing father.” 

“And you will be an amazing mother,” Dio said, kissing you. “Can you grab something out of my pocket?” 

Nodding, you reached into Dio’s pocket and stopped when your fingers brushed something small and metal. “Dio.” 

“Darling.” 

You pulled a beautiful ring out of his pocket, your emotions getting the better of you. “Are you proposing?” 

Dio grinned. “Figured it was time. Is that a yes?” 

You nodded. “Yes. Dio Morrissey, I cannot wait to marry you.”

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

hawkeye squared for the otp meme please? 🥺

as usual, i feel i need to suggest the idea of Lin Manuel Miranda as Clint, though I just saw a gifset of Manny Jacinto, and he is ALSO a great option

What was their first impression of each other?

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”“

As awful as it is, I LOVE them having their meet ugly when Clint thinks it’s a gangbusters idea to attack a teenager on a date in a carriage in central park. like. what a dumbass. also, both of them being all “I’m Hawkeye!” “no you’re not, I’m Hawkeye!”

What is their ship name?

Hawkeye Squared. It’s just cute. At some point they get asked (by a drunk Tommy, probably) what the square root of Hawkeye is, if it can be squared. Obviously, the square root of Hawkeye is Lucky the Pizza Dog

Describe their relationship dynamic.

two wrongs don’t make a right, but two competent individuals make a team of idiots.

I don’t know--they’re just so human with each other. They run with superpowered super special people, and that affects how they see themselves. I think they forget how breakable they are, and at the same time they’re really aware that they’re normal. (and maybe, they’d never admit it, feeling inadequate sometimes). With each other they get to be human, and they get the ordinary human stuff they have to deal with. 

They’re really competitive, but in a fun way. Their underlying competitiveness also makes them strive to be better. 

In some ways, their relationship is a meeting in the middle--Clint coming up, Kate coming down. Clint wants to be more together, less reckless, less one night stand with mob molls. Kate wants to be less...rich bitch. More aware of how money has made her life easier, how her life experiences aren’t typical. 

They each want to be more stable for the other, they just want to be there for each other. They’re both messes, but it’s better when they are messes together.

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Manatee and mento.

No no just kidding. Most of their friends and Avengers coworkers think they had a mentor/mentee relationship, but the only think Clint has mentored Kate in is how to get horribly injured.

That’s one of my favorite things about their relationship. Kate was Hawkeye completely independent of Clint. She was a team leader, she had her shit TOGETHER, but the instant she hung out with Clint for any length of time she transforms into a garbage can person. 

Their relationship trajectory is definitely idiots to friends to lovers. Their relationship status has been “in cahoots with” for almost as long as they’ve known each other. They’re just....their relationship is like Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara’s. Like, that’s not the dynamic, but it’s the feeling, you know?

They joke about being in love with/married/non-sexual life partners forEVER before one day it’s like “ha ha oh SHIT am I joking??”

How would they describe each other?

they each think the other is one of the best people they know. And that being together makes them want to be better. 

if Kate isn’t listening, Clint will absolutely admit she’s the better shot. NOT BY MUCH, but if he HAD to say, that would be his answer. She’s a total badass. He’s John Mulaney’s every monologue about Anna. “My partner is a bitch and i like her SO MUCH” “she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her” “i’ve never been supervised before” “she’s my HERO”. Seven drink Clint will just talk about everything about Kate that he likes. Many, many Avengers can attest that this is a very long list.

If Clint isn’t listening, Kate will say that Clint is one of the best men she’s ever met, and he looks BANGING in a skirt. He wants so much to do the right thing and even if he gets it wrong he just keeps trying and how can you not be inspired by that? He inspired her to be better and kinder and try harder, and keep trying, keep fighting. There’s always someone to help. Being a hero isn’t just about stopping dictators bent on world domination or fighting aliens. It’s not always about the world. Sometimes it’s about your neighborhood, or your building. Sometimes it’s just saving a dog. Clint’s always reminding her that being a hero isn’t about the size of the heroing. It’s just about doing the right thing.

What do they love about each other?

everything they tell people about each other, lol. 

They love that they’re both superheroes, that they’re both Hawkeye. That they keep trying and keep trying. 

What do they have in common?

Coffee, dogs, cars, purple, arrows

What are some differences between them?

I feel like they both have weird ideas of what’s normal as far as childhood experiences, but while Kate’s tend towards “what do you mean you didn’t have a nanny and a fencing instructor and a music tutor” and Clint’s are more along the lines of “eat all the food because you don’t know where your next meal might come from”

Kate also takes better care of cars than Clint does. She’s also a better chameleon than Clint--she can blend into different scenarios better than he does. It helps that Kate likes doing it more than Clint does. 

What made them realize they were in love?

A million little things that added up to mean “I can’t imagine my life without you”. But probably when Kate bounced to LA after their Big Fight and they realized they did Not like being apart from each other. They didn’t call or text during that time and it was MISERABLE. They’re slightly codependent. They know it. It’s fine.

What are their love languages?

they’re actually really big on words of affirmation (i have to look up love languages every time i get to this question so i give actual love languages answers) it’s never big flowing speeches but they’re always telling each other “good shot” “good coffee” “you’re amazing hawkeye” “i know hawkeye” and physical affection of course. They’re very big on consent in all situations so Clint has taken to signing stuff like “wanna cuddle” “hey can i hold your hand” etc etc (steve and bucky see them do this and pick up the habit). physical affection also includes patching each other up when it’s not a hospital worthy injury

Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

eventually and on accident

they’re partners for YEARS and everyone thinks they’re banging, and then when they finally DO start banging nobody thinks they are. so they’re in this weird limbo of being in a healthy committed relationship that none of their peers know about despite seeing it all the time. 

so they accidentally get married for a job, or one of them is like “Fuck! i field our taxes jointly this year, we gotta get married!” (i have no idea how this mistake happened. Is Jarvis in cahoots with Jonas and Viv to set them up? Probably)

You know how Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves were like “wait, did we get for real married on the set of Dracula years ago?” like that vibe is also good. That Clint and Kate TECHNICALLY got married when she was like. twenty for undercover reasons. And never realized it. so they’re going to file paperwork and some poor wage drone is like “uh, we already have paperwork filed on a ms. bishop...AND a mr. barton” *frantic clicking* “uh, it looks like you’re already married???”

they have a fake fight over missing anniversaries. every single one of their friends has a moment of “why did hawkeyes happen to me”

they have a wedding that’s mostly just a huge party. Kate gets kidnapped by von Doom (he promised he would! they have a weird friendship) Billy and Steve fight over who is going to officiate. somehow eli wins. all of clint’s exes dance with kate. all of kate’s exes dance with clint. wade declares himself both groomsman and bridesmaid, staving off the inevitable fight of who “got” Wade (that Kate would have won, no sense in hurting Clint’s feelings, that’s Wade’s opinion)

the proposal happens after the wedding. they want to get the most bang for their buck, and they’re both petty little shits, so Kate “surprises” Clint with a proposal at some big snooty gala Derek Bishop is hosting. during the gala and the flood of paparazzi, they “accidentally” “escape” for a makeout sesh and “inadvertently” lead the press to evidence of Derek’s criminal activities. they get engaged and he gets arrested in the same night. it’s a very productive proposal.  

What would happen if they never met?

not an option. they always meet. even if a universe is missing one of them, the multiverse will find a way to make them meet, even for a short time. they represent something greater-than-self for each other, and they both need that. it’s easy for them to get tangled up in their depression, their ptsd, their mental health issues and feelings of inadequacy, but --

it’s like. “i’m not alone” there’s someone else out there. and some days it’s like, you know what, I bet he/she is fucking up my good name. I have to get up and do something. some days it’s like there’s someone else out there with my name. it’s okay for me to take a break and breathe. everything is going to be ok.

Who dies first? How does the other one react?

Kate, by thirty seconds TOPS. they die saving the universe, of course, and specifically an angry mama cat

they die sprawling next to each other, bleeding out, Clint internally, Kate externally. her blood haloes around her head and she’s talking to Clint, voice weak and it’s a miracle his hearing aids are still working, because as much as he doesn’t want to hear this he doesn’t want Kate to feel alone, and she’s saying how she’s scared and she can’t feel her legs and she flails an arm at him and he catches her hand, pressing kisses to her bloody knuckles

and then Kate stops talking, he can’t hear her breathing and she’s still, so still, and he drags himself closer to her carving in to what little time he has left on this earth and he doesn’t care, kisses her still-warm face, gently closes her glassy eyes. sobbing, he pulls her to him. “I’m right behind you, girly-girl.”

Are there any love rivals?

yes and no? I think Clint would consider Kate’s team as a whole a threat to his monopoly on Kate’s affections. But I also don’t see them being very monogamous all the time. I think they’d very easily and happily expand to a polyamorous relationship. they’re both such nerds about it, too. like, they KNOW the other is awesome, naturally everyone wants part of that awesomeness, and they deserve to have people in their lives who think they are awesome. 

they are also weirdly possessive in a lot of ways. at least, Kate is. Clint likes people claiming ownership of him, of belonging. Clint can belong to other people, but Hawkeye is hers. Because hawkeye is her, and hers, and it’s a tangled mess of ownership and pronouns but they get it, and everyone else leaves the weird Hawkeye stuff alone for the most part.

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

moments of realization. when they realize they’ve been platonically married for YEARS and maybe they want to be....carnally married as well??? and then just. UST for MILES. Staring. looking away. staring again. getting caught staring! oh no! the terrible, horrible, gut churning moment of being found out, of “this won’t hurt our friendship or our working relationship, i swear, do you want me to leave?” followed by the other party suddenly barreling into them, initiating a frantic makeout and grinding sesh, the RAGE that they could have been doing this for how long???

What do other characters think about this relationship?

“so are you guys together for real now, or what?” and “lmao no you’re not fooling me again! nice try though.”

there are so many people who don’t believe they’re a for real couple. and to be fair, there was that once time they pretended to be a couple and did a registry and everything. i’ve said it before, though, that someone could walk in on Kate and Clint banging and just be like “huh. weird Hawkeye thing” and never once think “oh my god clint and kate are an item”

Kate could literally be pregnant with Clint’s baby, they could be buying a house together, they could be on the Newlywed show, and most of their friends and teammates will be all “psh, codependent much? you gonna paint the outside of the house purple or what?”

Describe or write a really fluffy scene!

honestly anything goopily domestic. the sigh of relief when they both drop their go-bags in the entry way and realize they’re home. slow dancing in the living room. Kate telling Clint to start a load of laundry, only he pretends he can’t see her signing, so she throws an orange at him. Clint’s being honored at some pompous thing he hates or Stark has him on stage for some Avengery thing and Kate signs obscene or funny things to him and he has to keep a straight face.

Describe or write a really angsty scene!

all about the hurt/comfort here

so this is a post-Battleworld kind of thing. Everyone’s been flung to different universes and 616 doesn’t exist anymore and nobody knows if their friends are dead, if they’re ever going to see them again. 

And Clint spots Kate (she’s bossing people around because she’s good at it, in every universe, he notes) but he’s not getting his hopes up. he’s seen a lot of Kates, and they’re all good, they’re all great, but they’re not his Katie-Kate, It’s not fair to compare every Kate in the multiverse to one single solitary Kate that he happens to like more than anything else, but screw fair, right?

Kate spots him. And she doesn’t really react, and Clint’s bracing himself to deal with Kate but not quite Kate, and they’re both making painfully polite small talk and he eventually says something about coming from 616 and it’s instantaneous, the change in her. “What the fuck did you just say, Clint? Clinton Francis Barton I swear to god if this is a joke--”

and it’s the Correct Kate, everything is good, great, wonderful, and then they get arrested for public indecency. 

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

I don’t have a lot of headcanons for them, tbh? their braincells are repellent to one another. put them together and they’re just idiots trying to make their way in the universe. 

oh! individually, they are so unlucky, but put them together and it kind of cancels out? their together jobs have the best outcomes. and their together jobs are how they acquire all sorts of random stuff. like an apartment building, a yacht, a Mars rover prototype, a child, a few extra spouses...

What does a typical date look like for them?

pizza, coffee, petting their dog and strangers’ dogs. takeout, stopping an armed robbery, cleaning up injuries, snuggling on the couch with popcorn or shave ice. they’re also working on a duo acrobatic routine in their spare time.

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

when Kate comes back. she leaves and it sucks, but she comes back and they don’t know where this is going, but they know their partnership is vital, and they’re going to make it work

(also when Clint let Kate drive the skycycle)

[alixanonymous]

Things That Got Me Through 2020: A Long List Of Random Recommendations

Hi! 2020 was awful but throughout it I found a lot of amazing things to get me through it. So just in case things get tough some times in 2021, here’s some wonderful distractions, amazing stories, and things that I just loved in general. Hope you enjoy any that you give a try! Also, I always love new suggestions if anyone has any!

BOOKS (Or actually just one book because I did not read nearly as much as I though I did)

- The Martian By Andy Weir (Sounds like it would be really depressing, actually one of the funniest books I’ve ever read! Can’t recommend more.)

WEBCOMICS (What a great year to discover WebToons I tell you)

- Lore Olympus By Rachel Smythe (Worth the hype in my opinion!)

- Let’s Play By Mongie (I enjoyed this much more than I could’ve imagined, my romance loving self squealed when reading certain parts.)

- SubZero By JunePurr (Amazing balance between romance and plot.)

- The Remarried Empress By Alphatart/Sumpul (Reads like a soap-opera, main character is my favorite type of female protagonist, smart, confident, and not ashamed of it, love interest is adorably infatuated and I live for it.)

- In the Bleak Midwinter; By Kat/Ali (I got sucked into this one. The world building is great, the world itself is so interest and I loved the premise.)

ANIMATED SHOWS (20 minute episodes came in clutch this year with my short attention span due to anxiety)

- The Dragon Prince (If you like animated series at all, you’ll like this I think.)

- RWBY (Season 1 is good, Seasons 2-3 are pretty great, 4-5 were not my favorites by any means, 6 is pretty good, Season 7 was sooo good!)

- Ever After High (Thanks @raesofmoonlight for the recommendation! Possibly the best character design I’ve ever seen. Watch it if you can!)

- Avatar: The Last Airbender (Zuko alone is worth watching the show, add in all the others, the world building, the humor, the writing, just watch it already if you haven’t yet.)

- DC Superhero Girls (Sometimes I think about this show’s version of Bruce Wayne and start cracking up.)

LIVE ACTION SHOWS (I’ve been so caught up in animated shows since March I forgot I watched some really good live action ones till right now)

- Galavant (A medieval musical. Pretty short episodes, hilariously silly, my favorite way to lose twenty minutes of my life at a time. If you’re not sold yet, how about this: They started the second season by singing a song about how they didn’t think they’d get a second season.)

- Anne With An E (Gilbert Blythe owns my heart and soul and wow the show is so much better than the typical teen dramas. Love the historical aspect too!)

- Jane The Virgin (I got so attach to this show’s character my goodness. Top tier writing I think.)

- The Umbrella Academy (This show is so freaking addicting. It’s never what I expect it to be and I love that. I love the music, I love the action scenes, I love the characters. Watching the second season now, wow the characters make you feel for them. )

MOVIES (I’ve never watched so many movies as I did this year so here are my favorites, although half are DC animated ones so sorry if that’s not your thing)

- The Martian (One of the best book to movie adaptations I’ve ever seen, Matt Damon was the perfect person to play Mark Watney. )

- The Entire DC Animated Movie Universe (My favorites are Justice League: War, Son of Batman, Batman v.s. Robin, Justice Leagus v.s. Teen Titans, Reign Of The Supermen, Justice League: Dark Apokolips War but I think it’s worth just watching them all in order. The characters are all so great. Most of them have amazing team dynamics.)

- Batman: Under The Red Hood (If you like Batman, you’ll probably like this movie or maybe you’ll hate how emotional it makes you either way.)

- Miss Americana (This is the Taylor Swift documentary. I actually just discovered how much I love her music and I found this to be super fascinating in showcasing how the media portrays female entertainers.)

MUSIC (I have this horrible feat or people judging my musical taste so if you do please do it silently)

- Taylor Swift (This year has really just been non-stop Taylor Swift for me. Her albums Folklore and Evermore in particular helped me come to terms and cope with 2020 as a whole.)

- Hamilton: An American Musical (I’m not even going to bother to sell this one, there’s no need to.)

- The Little Mermaid: The Musical (I like fairy tales okay and Alan Menken is a musical genius and I will fight anyone who’s says otherwise.)

YOUTUBE (This definitely needed it’s own category)

- Philip DeFranco (I got really overwhelmed with all the news this year so most days I decided to just watch his twenty minute show everyday and it really helped. Just a good way to keep up to date without getting overwhelmed.)

- Technoblade (Okay, real talk: MCYT took over my life since I discovered it in August. I could make a whole separate list of all my favorite minecraft youtubers but I decided to just put my favorite, the Blood God himself. You might consider it a sign of the times that my family and I watched The Potato War saga on the television on Thanksgiving. Highly recommend his whole Hypixel Skyblock series or just his Skywars Solos or everything he does actually.)

- BuzzFeed Unsolved (Great way to get a good laugh in and also learn about creepy cold cases and also aliens. The two host, Shane and Ryan are the best. Ghost in general are fun.)

- Tingting ASMR (Shoot! I almost forgot! A large portion of my sleep last year was due to this woman. I’m not really one for ASMR myself, I don’t really love whispering in general but I really love her approach and I find it super calming!)

Okay! I think that’s it. I hope some of these things bring some of you joy or peace. Please give me any suggestions you have. I am always open to recommendations. Happy New Year everyone!

[tibby]

hi! lesbian questioning anon back with some more questions and needing advice. i got about 3 pages into the lesbian masterdoc before i started freaking out a little and i had to stop reading. i think i’m really scared about analyzing this part of myself because i’ve identified as bisexual for so long & ive never felt ... ashamed to express attraction to men (even though looking back and recalling those things, it felt hollow and fake; performative - even though i hardly had an audience). i don’t think being a lesbian is bad, but part of me is really really scared because 1.) what if i’m NOT a lesbian, i’m just going through an issue / phase / i’m traumatized from my last relationship and acting poorly about it ending? like, i don’t want to appropriate the label or invade a space like this as a (possible) non-lesbian!!! and stuff like 2.) if i’m a lesbian, why was i so free in talking about finding men hot? why was i so comfortable expressing how much i love Geralt (the witcher)??? why am i “”attracted”” do big strong - for lack of a better descriptor - alpha men?? and 3.) what if i come out, if it turns out i am a lesbian, and my lesbian friends think i’m faking it because i’ve talked about liking men before? i don’t know if i could cope with that rejection. anyways. i re-read your answer to my last ask several times. i do not think i could be happy with a man. but i thought everyone with IssuesTM (in my case i have ambiguous disorder lol - nah i just have lots of mental/development issues i don’t wanna list) just thought they were going to go through life bouncing from one toxic relationship to the next. my relationship with my ex wasn’t the healthiest, it was deeply co-dependent and i didn’t enjoy the sex at all. i thought maybe it was him (i guess this is still a possibility) or maybe that i’m asexual (it certainly felt like that, with how genuinely disinterested i’ve been with the concept of sex (adding: with men) all my life, so i have really no frame of reference) and i just kinda assume no one actually thinks they’re going to get a happy ever after. i think i would love to be with a woman, but i have no idea about the viability in that regard because i haven’t really had any long lasting bonds with other women. my best friends growing up were always boys, and i’ve always been intimidated by women, regardless of my attraction to them. i genuinely have no idea what a relationship with a woman would be like, but god i would like to have one! i feel like i would feel safer, more secure, more open with myself if there’s already a level of understanding between us. — anyways, thank you so much for enduring this with me so far. i cannot sufficiently express my gratitude for you allowing and accepting me vomiting anxieties all over your inbox. i appreciate all your thought-out responses and your empathy and kindness rn. it’s amazing and i wish i could repay you.

hello again! sorry for taking a few days to get back to you, i wanted to respond when i actually had time to sit down and type out a coherent reply.

to address your fears, working out your sexuality isn’t always an easy process and you’re not a bad person for wanting to try on different labels and see what works for you. you do not have to come up with an immediate answer now, and you’e allowed to switch between labels until you feel comfortable. if you identify as a lesbian for a little bit and then realise that you aren’t one, then that’s fine! it doesn’t mean you were invading lesbian spaces, it doesn’t mean you crossed any lines, it doesn’t mean you faked anything. and real friends would understand that and support you. if your lesbian friends think you’re lying about it or faking it, then they weren’t good friends to begin with. if that’s the case, i’m sorry, and it’ll hurt: but in the long run, you’d be better off without people who don’t support you.

and it’s not unusual for lesbians to find security and love - be it real or imagined - in men we think can protect us. that’s what we’re conditioned to what. and it can be hard to unlearn that. and as long as you’re secure in the knowledge that you don’t actually want to be with a man, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing your attraction to one. as i’ve said before, i’m absolutely a lesbian and i know this about myself, but if shane madej asked...then yeah, i’d probably go for it. ultimately, it comes down to what you need and want.

what i’m about to say might be considered controversial to some, but i’ve never seen the issue with someone who’s had traumatic/unhealthy relationships with men in the past only wanting to date women from that point on, and therefore call themselves a lesbian. your relationships with men are in the past, and you shouldn’t feel forced to have them define your future. and sex is supposed to feel good, you’re meant to enjoy it. if you’re not enjoying the sex you have with a man, then that’s your body telling you something. maybe it’s lesbianism, maybe it’s asexuality, maybe it’s a mix of the two - but the issue, for now, seems to lie with men. i wouldn’t suggest rushing into having sex with women to see how that feels and give yourself a solid answer, but take some time to reflect on how you’d feel if you were to be sexual again, but with a woman this time. does it still put you off? can you happily picture everything (making out, cuddling) except the sex? do you think it would be more comfortable than your previous sexual experiences? give yourself as much time as you need to process everything. your safety and comfort are absolutely the priority, not finding a label to stick to.

if you think you’d enjoy dating a woman, that you’d be happy to be with one and feel safe and comfortable, then that’s a good place to start. i think there’s this weird idea in online lesbian/bi circles that once you figure out your sexuality, you immediately have to get out there and enter into a gay relationship, like you have something to prove. and i take a lot of issue with that, because i think a lot of times, it ends badly for both people. just sit with yourself for awhile, start building relationships with people around you, and a romance will come naturally. romances are never going to be strong if you force them, regardless of your sexuality, and it’s something you should only go into once you’re sure and ready. which all may seem like obvious things, but i’ve seen enough gays have horrible relationships to know that it isn’t. your sexuality should be about you, not about your love life.

i’m glad i’ve been able to help you somewhat so far, and i hope this response brings you further comfort and peace of mind. it means a lot to me that you feel like you can ask me about this stuff, and i do want the best for you. as always, feel free to come back if you need anything else. sending you love!

[frostedroyaltea]

The Mystery of the Alexandrite Family

Ryan: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we will be discussing the mystery of the Alexandrite family. Now this one is different from others we’ve done-”

Shane: Why?

Ryan: You’ve got to let me tell you. Now this one is a bit strange, because of who survived, and what he may have done following it.

Shane: Well let’s hear it. 

Ryan: So I don’t have the exact date since they were hard to find and most of these articles have been translated from Russian-

Shane: Ooh. Is this going to be like the one about the Romanov family?

Ryan: No. Weell. No. So this happened in a rather wealthy village in Russia, Река Слез (Reka Slez). In about the late 90s. One night people broke into the Alexandrite’s family home. The neighbours called for help after hearing gunshots. Vera and Edmon Alexandrite were found dead in the living room, each from multiple gunshot wounds. Their son, Ivan, was found unconscious and injured on the edge of the woods the family had on their property. 

Shane: They must’ve been rich. Just having a forest on the property.

Ryan: Yeah.

Ryan clears his throat.

Ryan: Later, an investigation revealed large amounts of money were missing from security vaults kept in the home offices.

Shane: Offices? Plural? What’d they do for a living? 

Ryan: That actually has to do with one of the theories. Along with the money whoever killed them also took with them - 

The video cuts to Ryan reading off a list

“- different ornaments, like decorations. Other things that were stolen include jewelry, just jewels and gems in general - 

Shane holds a hand up. “Hold up, they just had gems laying around?”

Ryan shrugs. “I guess? None of the reports specified where they were in the house just that they were stolen.”

“And they didn’t have any weapons or a dog at least? No security system? What did they expect to happen?”

“I don’t know. No weapons were found in the house besides kitchen knives. They could have been hidden though. There were other things stolen though-

“What? What else would they have?”

“Paintings,” Ryan says and Shane shakes his head a bit at him. “The missing paintings were never identified though, so the family probably never bought any, just painted them themselves or got them from friends or family.”

“How did they know the family didn’t buy the paintings?

“They scanned the other paintings for those ID chips and didn’t find any. I’m guessing they assumed the others weren’t bought as well.”

“So is this about the paintings?”

Ryan half-laughs. “No. Not quite. It does tie into one of the theories though.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Ryan looks directly at the camera. “Now, back to Ivan…”

The screen goes back to black, showing pictures of a different family and a timeline.

Ryan: Extended family took Ivan in. His mother's cousins, the Bauxite’s. For three years he was under their care until - and wait until you hear this - they left Russia. 

Shane: Did they take Ivan with them?

Ryan: No, and that’s the thing, he was left with no way of ever finding or contacting them again.

Shane: How old was he?

Ryan: Thirteen, I believe. 

Shane: Jesus. Is he still alive?

Ryan: Yeah.

Shane: He know we’re doing this?

Ryan: Yeah. I asked him to make sure it’s okay. He said I probably wouldn’t find anything but he didn’t care.

Shane: You know him?

Ryan: No. He has social media, Shane. Anyway his entire extended family just up and leaves when he’s thirteen. No one really knows where they are though, or why they left.

Shane: Was it investigated?

Ryan: Yeah. There were no signs of struggle or forced entry in their house. It was just all of a sudden. Or any of the houses.

Shane: Poor kid… That’s horrible.

Ryan: No kidding.

Shane: Everyone left?

Ryan: Everyone who was directly related to his parents. So his aunts, uncles, cousins.

Shane: Grandparents?

Ryan: I think they might have already been dead when this was happening. I can’t imagine anyone letting that happen to their family and if they were the oldest… Any the next two years are a bit unclear, I think he was mostly staying in orphanages then.

Shane: Wait- so did the people who killed his parents… did they have to do with the rest of the family’s disappearance?

Ryan: Maybe. We’ll get to that. They do think that the Russian mob killed Vena and Edmon though. Ivan wasn’t able to identify anyone but he said he’s positive the mob had something to do with it. This will also be relevant later.

Shane: Isn’t it solved then?

Ryan: No. When he was fifteen he was taken in by a family in America. Everything was kind of quiet up until two years later when he would have been 17.

Shane: So is the mystery about this Ivan guy?

Ryan: Kind of. His parents too. You’ll see why.

Shane: What happened when he was 17? Also, what happened to all his parents' money and the rest of their stuff? Wouldn’t it have been given to him at that point?

Ryan: About the money, that’s actually part of one of the theories so I’ll get to that later. And about what was happening when he was 17… Some people following the case saw that he had gotten a tattoo. It’s a circle with a dot in the middle of it, it’s known as “The Roundstone.” It indicates the person is an orphan and it also is known to mean “Trust only yourself.”

Shane: Rough. But it’s really just a tattoo.

Ryan: Not any tattoo Shane. It is a common tattoo among vory v zakone, or, as they are better known, the Russian mob.

Shane. Wait. What?

The video shows them both at the table.

“Yeah,” Ryan says. “Isn’t it crazy?”

“So this guy says he thinks the Russian mob killed his family, and then he goes and joins them?”

“Maybe. Maybe he just likes the irony of it.”

“That’s…”

“I know. It gets weirder.”

“Of course it does.”

The screen goes to black and two pictures come on screen. One is labelled ‘Anatoly’ and the other is labelled ‘Vladimir.’

Ryan: Around the same time and after he was seen interacting with Anatoly Ranskahov and Vladimir Ranskahov, two very well known members of the Russian mob.

Shane: Couldn’t they have to do with his parents' murders though? Why would he be talking to them?”

Ryan: They couldn’t have killed his parents. When the Alexandrite’s were killed the Ranskahov’s would have been in jail, both on a three year sentence that they did, surprisingly, complete.

Shane: Why is it surprising?

Ryan: Because they later escaped a different prison in 2007 after only having been there for a few years and they still had quite a lot of time left on their sentences. 

Shane: Strange. 

Ryan: Yeah it is. Anyway, he was seen with known and suspected members a few times. At one point he was also seen with Oliver Queen, and not looking at all happy about it. 

Shane: Does Oliver Queen have something to do with this? Ryan: It’s not likely, there isn’t enough evidence to prove that he does.

Shane: Where are you going with this?

Ryan: I’m getting there. About five years later he was seen leaving a mechanic where he supposedly worked at the time. Someone saw that he had a new tattoo, one that looked fresh.

Shane: Fresh? How does a tattoo look fresh?

Ryan: I don’t know. That’s what they said. Anyway, it’s of a cat wearing a hat-”

The video shows Shane laughing. “The cat in the hat?”

“No!” Ryan laughs too. “No. More like Puss in Boots.”

“Oh. So like Shrek.”

“Aah… Not quite. The cat that uses trickery and deceit to gain wealth and power. So. Not as cute as the ‘Puss’ from Shrek. It’s supposedly a traditional sign of the thieves, or vory.”

“So ‘vory’ is ‘thieves’ in Russian?”

“Yes.” “What’s ‘thief’ then?”

“…”

“What is it, Ryan?”

“I don’t want this to get demonetized. V-O-R. Figure it out yourself.”

“Oh. So this puss in boots is a Russian thief tattoo?”

“Supposedly.”

“You didn’t ask Ivan to confirm their meanings or if he even has them at all? Are there any pictures of these supposed tattoos?”

“I actually did ask. He does have the Roundstone one.”

“Well did he confirm its meaning?”

“Yes.”

“What about the cat in the hat?”

“No. He just said,” Ryan slides his phone across the table to show Shane, “and I quote, ‘LOL. Nope.’ and didn’t say anything else. Anyway, at the time he was leaving the mechanic he would have been about 22 years old.”

“So there are these random people creeping him on the internet?”

“I guess. Now on to the theories!”

The screen cuts to black. The words ‘Theory One’ come up on screen. 

Shane: If you say this ten-year-old kid somehow orchestrated his parents murder-

Ryan: No! No. The first theory comes from Ivan himself and what the authorities suspect. He said he would use to hear his parents talk, talk about people who threatened them and what to do about it. He thinks the mafia was interested in his parents' money and they were threatening his parents into handing it over. 

This is probably the most likely one considering how wealthy his parents were and neither of them had an extensive criminal record.

Shane: So the money… How would they have gotten it? What did they do for work?

Ryan: Right! Theory two then. Some people think at one point his parents were involved with, or part of, the mafia and that’s how they ended up so wealthy. They kept a lot of locked up documents in the offices. Some of them were even coded. Some people also think the stolen paintings might have had codes hidden in them and that’s why the mob chose to take those paintings instead of the others. It would also explain why they were killed- easiest way to shut someone up.

Shane: What about Ivan? Wouldn’t the ones he was with try to kill him?

Ryan: Not exactly. The Rusian mob’s hierarchy isn’t very well documented and it’s more… fluid, I guess, then other mafias are. The two groups might not even know each other.

Shane: So the Alexandrite’s were involved with the mob? Ryan: It’s possible. They’re dead so we can’t ask them, Ivan was too young to know which is why he might be alive, and no one would want to come forward with information since it would likely end with them in prison. Also, this case is still technically under investigation, it’s why Ivan can’t get any of his parents fortune. If it’s dirty blood money then the authorities would need to know that before handing it over to Ivan.

Shane: That’d be tough. Going through all that… So is Ivan part of the mob then? Ryan: I don’t know.

Shane: What about the will? Wouldn’t they have one? Especially since the mob was threatening them. And why wouldn’t they go to the police or invest in some sort of alarm system or security?

Ryan: That’s why people think they were once in the mob. And it wouldn’t be safe to raise a kid into a mob- which might be why they left. The video shows both of them still at the table. Ryan is looking at Shane. “What do you think Shane?”

“I think the mob was definitely involved in some way. Were those the only theories?”

“Yeah. It was hard to get my hands on anything else since it’s still an ongoing investigation.”

“Did they ask Ivan anything?”

“He didn’t really remember anything. A night like that would be traumatic to anyone, especially a little kid.”

“How old is he now?”

“About 25 I think.”

The screen shows pictures of the Alexandrite house and the surrounding houses.

Ryan: What happened that fateful night would turn into a lifetime of mystery and wondering. Anyone who truly knows what happened is now dead or won’t be coming forward. For now, this case is Unsolved.

The word ‘Unsolved’ in red bold letters appears on screen and fades away as the video shows Shane and Ryan.

“The mob definitely did it,” Shane says.

“Oh yeah.”

“Think they’ll ever find out who did it?”

“Probably. Who knows, maybe we’ll be coming back to this.” 

“Maybe we will.”

------------------------------------------

I plan on doing the Post Mortem Q&A for this so if anyone has any questions they'd like to ask feel free to do so in the comments. if you don't want me to use your username just put that in the comment too.

[werezmastarbucks]

Whitmore Guy - the letter

Part One

Kai Parker x fem!Reader slowburn

whatever gifs I’m going to use on this one, I hope the creators are okay with that

The Mystic Falls team decide they want to get rid of Kai Parker for good - and in a way that would ensure he won’t be able to come back. Death is not secure enough this time, so they go with Malivore. Who knows what the poor bastard is doing down there, but six months later, a new guy comes to work at the college - and meets the reader seemingly for the first time.

word count: 1189

warnings: Damon’s still a dick and also bitter

Damon was clutching a piece of paper in his hand. He could hear his brother, perched up against the doorframe, waiting for him to say something. But both vampires kept silent. Stefan ran out of patience first.

“What’s that?”

He blinked, and folded the letter, putting it in the drawer, under his neatly folded shirts – all black.

“You said you don’t want to know, little brother”.

Stefan cocked his head, lazily, his marble face covered with the dark fog.

“It’s got something to do with Malivore and why we all were there?” he guessed.

“Yes. And you said”, Damon repeated gravely, “that you don’t want to know. So, go, and don’t… I’d say forget about it, but you kinda already did, so…”

Stefan shifted a little, closing his self-embrace, encircling his elbows. He sighed.

“Was it a horrible thing we did? Why wouldn’t I want to know what happened?”

“It wasn’t horrible. It was the right thing to do”.

“Does you letter from the past state so?”

“Exactly”.

“Who else knows?”

Damon said nothing, but gazed at him, his manly jaw moving forward. Why does it always have to be him?

Listen here, Damon, it’s me. I mean, you. You’re sitting in your car outside the cave in Georgia right now, confused about what you’re doing here. The first thing you do now is, you leave and read this completely and utterly alone. Bon Bon wanted to know, too, because she’s a brave soul, but honestly, he’s not worth it. Don’t tell her.

Are you completely alone? Are you sure?

You were at the pit because you were dealing with the baddest scum on Earth. Let me tell you a story.

In 1994, a guy, a siphoner witch, killed his whole family – well, almost all of them – in cold blood like a freak he is, for power. He was locked away in a magical prison world and spent almost twenty years there, but he got out – not gonna mention how, or else you’ll be real angry.

Anyway, upon being released, the guy went for Mystic Falls. The guy’s name was Malachai Parker, but everybody called him Kai. Remember it. Remember this name and know that he’s the worst crap headed, the most violent, the most fucked up, the craziest, filthiest and absolutely the most annoying little shit you’ve ever met in your life. I’m not being dramatic, Damon, he’s the absolute worst. What??? Worse than Katherine? you ask. Are you annoyed yet? I had to spend TIME with him. He was pretty damn near to Katherine, man. You completely lost all hope when he met Y/N. He tricked her into loving him when he solved the problem of difficult relationships with her father by killing him. Seeing that we let it slide, he proceeded with killing her grandmother, too. All the bullcrap about him loving someone is complete nonsense because Kai’s a diagnosed sociopath. He did not love her. He’s used her because she has magic and they had some kind of connection which allowed him to siphon her as much as he wanted. All that is not relevant anymore, thank Fuck. I never managed to fully grasp that vessel-siphoner witchy tofu. Who cares?

That’s the main reason you all actually gathered to get rid of him: he was turning your friend, a girl you swore to protect ten years ago, into a murderer. Together, they have burned a house with living people inside. Y/N killed Shane Atticus while being with him, and she also killed Katherine to get back at YOU when you tore his head off. Yes, you have killed him before, but the bastard crawled right back from hell and dived his claws deep inside of her. She was turning violent, erratic, selfish. She manipulated you to send Rebekah to hell so that Klaus had a reason to open the gates – and let him out.

Y/N was transforming into this beast he’s been grooming, making her just like him.

You threw him in Malivore because he was that bad. Here’s the list of other things Kai did that led to this day:

He killed his pregnant sister, together with her two unborn children. She was Ric’s fiancée.

He killed the surviving members of his family and coven, hunting them down like animals, one by one, in a sadistic way.

He left Bonnie in the prison world for months, and she nearly killed herself there.

He stabbed her several times.

He tried to kill YOU and your brother.

He tortured Elena. For fun.

He shredded a Grill bartender’s neck because he was talking to Y/N.

He has turned himself into a vampire to become a heretic.

He was an abomination of a vampire, and he didn’t drink human blood, he fed on supernatural creatures. He’s been turning people in the town so that they served as his blood bags.

He was slaughtering the citizens of Mystic Falls for fun.

He killed Matt Donovan (the male blonde guy with sad life).

Those are just the things off the top of our head. There’s more I can’t think of.

Remember, Damon, you’ve all decided that it would be the best thing for her and for the rest of the goddamn PLANET if he was gone. You all decided that throwing him into the pit of oblivion would be the most suitable thing. He never existed, as far as we know. There’s no Kai Parker, and there has never been. You have cleared Y/N’s phone, the house, her computer, so there’s no evidence of him in her life. It’s all gone now. She’ll be much much better off… it’s done. Kai Parker is gone forever, and I can’t express how much relief it is (gonna be when you do it). You gotta believe me, Damon, he was worse than Klaus, nastier than travelers and bitchier than the sirens. On the scale of badness he was like 10 poisonous snakes that eat your balls and set you on fire and make you shit yourself while singing Michael Bolton. He was obnoxious, loud, annoying, intrusive and just outright evil. His eating habits… There was never hope for that man, if that’s what you’re asking yourself.

I’m writing it a bit ahead, but I’m pretty sure he’ll kick, and scream, and beg when I drag that monster to the pit. This will be the happiest day of my life.

It was the right thing to do, Damon.

P.S.

Nobody else wanted to remember about this, except Bonnie, but I’d rather you kept it from her, too. She deserves much better than live with even a shade of this in her life. The guys specifically said they don’t want to remember him and what we did to him: Blondie vamp, Elena, Alaric and Stefan. So, keep it from them, you owe them that much. Tell them you don’t remember anything either, and what a bloody shame that nobody thought to leave a note. What a bunch of idiots!

P.P.S.

Keep an eye on Y/N. Tell her she had food poisoning or whatever so that’s why she wasn’t at the Malivore pit with everybody.

Damon

11/11/19

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter 7

GREENE FARM~DAY AFTER DARYL’S NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY

I woke up next to Daryl in an actual bed! Feeling amazed at the luxury, after all the nap I’d taken during Carl’s trauma was more of the pass-out not aware type of sleep, I cuddled into Daryl’s side. The side he hadn’t pierced with one of his own arrows. I felt him shift under me and chuckled.

“You are the world’s worst patient, Daryl Dixon.” I whispered, glancing up at him. I’d managed, through sheer force of will, to get him to agree to a sponge bath after dinner. And I even convinced him to let me run back to our tent for a change of clothes for him. Now all the gunk and blood was clear from him, and I had a promise that he’d take advantage of Hershel’s offer of a shower, as soon as he was given the ok.

He groaned after my statement, looking down at me with his version of a pout. Which meant he was glaring at me. “And ya can be a naggin’ nurse, Jessica Grimes.” He grunted, softening his irritation by kissing my forehead. “Don’t know why I had to let ya clean me up last night.” He muttered.

I gave him a look. “As I recall, you didn’t seem to mind during that washing.” I raised an eyebrow as I remembered locking the door and taking my time to be very thorough.

Daryl shrugged, but I could see him fighting a smile. “It wasn’t completely horrible.” He answered, looking at the lace curtains covering the windows. “Might even let ya help me in the shower, since I’m injured and all.”

I laughed and crawled from the bed to find Hershel. I wanted to make sure that Daryl was ok to come back to our tent. He wasn’t going to rush, whether he liked it or not. I found the farmer on the porch, enjoying the morning. He assured me that Daryl would be fine to return to his daily routine, barring stealing another horse. I chuckled and thanked him after he told me Daryl could shower the next day.

Returning to the invalid’s room, I found Andrea offering him a novel and Daryl warning her that if she ever shot at him again, he “best be dead.” I nodded, and then looked up at her. “If you don’t know how to properly handle a weapon, perhaps Dale was right, and you shouldn’t have one.” I glared at her before she could open her mouth for one of her glorious retorts. “Leave.”

Daryl was watching me closely as I sat down on the bed. “She fucked up, Jessi, but we’ve all fucked up one time or another.” He said, taking my hand in his. “Let it go, I have.”

I shot him a look and he smiled. “Ever fuck up and nearly kill someone?” He just stared at me. “Because that’s what Andrea did. She couldn’t see through the glare of the sun, and she shot at you. She was aiming for that thick head of yours, Dixon. If she was better with weapons, you’d be dead. And so would she.” It was a statement and I meant every single word of it. “Jessi,” he whispered, clearly not expecting the force of my reaction to the situation. “Baby, I’m OK. She didn’t kill me, hell, I did worse to myself yesterday.” He was trying to calm me, but this was one topic that it wouldn’t work.

I pulled my hand free from his and leaned closer to his face. Cupping it between my hands, I stared into his eyes. “You’re not dead because of her lack of skill, Daryl. That’s not a win, not when I know Dad will insist everyone learn their weapons better. You’re not dead because Dad hasn’t had a chance to teach her up.” I sighed and ran my thumbs along his cheeks. “She isn’t right for this world, I know it, and it’s going to get someone killed.”

His hand slid to cover mine, holding me to his face. “Then we watch her.” He agreed. “We make sure that she doesn’t screw up. Jessi, you can’t just get rid of people because they’re-”

“Dangerous?” I scoffed. “That’s what Andrea is, it’s what Shane is. They’re both ticking time bombs, the only question in my mind? Which one blows first?”

 HOURS LATER~OUTSIDE OUR TENT

Daryl and I had agreed to disagree on the Andrea situation. His let bygones be bygones made me want to scream, but I understood it too. This new life, with walkers trying to kill us, and people not much better, made some strong. Unfortunately, Daryl felt that we just had to train up the weakest to make them better suited.

I did agree with the sentiment. For instance, Carol would probably learn to survive. Dale? Well, Dale was pretty much a hippy type, but if it came to killing walkers, he was game. That was a mark in his favor. His fear of ending a human’s life, however, was going to end up problematic. People, I could tell, were going to be just as dangerous to us as walkers. I mean, Dad told us what happened in Atlanta with the “gang” he’d halved the gun supply with, and let’s not forget Dr. Jenner.

Here’s my list for people in our group who would probably learn to survive better: Daryl Dad Shane (that kills me to admit) Me Carl Glenn (he’d be higher on the list, but he wasn’t raised by my dad) Lori (iffy, she’s still a little timid) T-Dog Carol (once we find Sofia, or we put the poor child to rest, whichever) Dale (once his bleeding heart savior shit is put in its place) Andrea

That’s how it would work, in order of best chances to least. See who’s last? Yeah, because she’s not going to make it. Even if she learns, she’s going to still make the stupidest decisions and then we’ll be the ones to clean it up or take the hit. I didn’t share the list with Daryl. Because honestly, I think he might have taken it as a personal challenge to prove me wrong. That and his head would grow three sizes too big to fit through the door of the tent, since he outranked my dad in the pecking order.

He was happy to hear about the shower. Whether it was the actual bathing, or the fact that he was going to do his damndest to get me in that hot water with him, I’m not sure.

We spent the day listening as Dad planned to take the group shooting (told you so), and then work on the areas surrounding where Daryl found Sofia’s doll. Daryl, I was happy to notice, would be staying back with me. I begged off the shooting practice by holding up my bow to my dad. He laughed and rolled his eyes, but walked away without a fight. Daryl was watching me and I saw his interest in my response and I knew he was wondering if I could use a gun.

“I can shoot guns, Daryl.” I answered him before he could form the question. “My dad was a sheriff’s deputy in the south. Of course, I’m proficient in gun use.” I rolled my eyes.

He gave one of those gruff chuckles I loved. “Didn’t want to give yourself a little practice? Practice makes-”

“Perfect, yeah, I might have heard that before.” I watched his eyes grow darker at the memory of the last time I was told about it.

I ran over to the RV to see if Dale needed help with watching over us all on the roof. I’d rather be with Daryl, but I also knew that every little bit helps. It’s how I caught Glenn acting twitchier than usual and asking Dale if Andrea might be on her period because she was acting crazy.

He actually thought, and I quote, “I’m only asking ’cause it’s like all the women are acting really weird. And…and I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”

I coughed and he realized that I was standing nearby. “I can attest that I am NOT currently having my period, but thanks for asking, Glenn.” I grinned at his blush. “Andrea’s off her rocker most days, as for the OTHER ladies,” I raised an eyebrow to remind him that I knew who he was thinking of, “I’m sure that’s not the issue either. We’re dealing with the apocalypse, dude, what did you expect?”

Dale grinned at me and agreed. “I’m gonna advise you to keep your theory to yourself.”

I nodded, “Telling a woman she’s PMS crazy brings out a whole new round of nuts.”

Glenn, far from looking reassured, looked more twitchy. What the hell?

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” Dale asked, and I nearly walked away, but thought I might want to hear the answer.

“You’re old.” Glenn started, and I closed my eyes at the poor boy’s tact. “You’re… you know things. So what if someone told you something that someone else should know…”

I rolled my eyes as Dale told him to stop being dramatic and spit it out.

“There’s...there’s walkers in the barn and Lori’s pregnant.” He spit it out alright, and I nearly did too. Fuck, WHAT?

“WHAT?!” I had to keep myself from screaming. They both remembered I was standing near them and who I was. “I’m guessing Dad doesn’t know?”

Glenn shook his head. I ran my hands over my face. Fuck, this was bad. Bad, bad, bad. Dale asked if he should speak to Hershel, and I considered it. Having Hershel explain himself to Dad would be MUCH better than one of us. I nodded. As for Lori? There’s no chance that baby is my dad’s. NONE. Great, a baby Shane. Unless Dad raised it. Wasn’t there proof that nurture was JUST as important as nature?

“About Lori,” Glenn started and I held up a hand.

“She can figure it out,” I said, trying to school my features from shock to whatever I could manage. I shook my head. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear this entire mess of a conversation. Dale? Do you need me to stand watch?” He shook his head and I walked away.

Finding Daryl sitting by our tent, I knew he’d be able to tell something was wrong, but I hoped I could distract us both. His smile made those damn butterflies in my stomach start up again. It was better than the nausea Glenn’s news made me feel.

“Wondered where ya got off to.” He said, patting the ground beside him, but I shook my head.

“Had to make sure Dale didn’t need help with watch.” I offered and he nodded. Standing he loomed by the tree he had been sitting against.

“Does he?” He asked, and I shook my head again. “So what’re we gonna get into all alone while they’re gone?”

I raised an eyebrow and was gratified when he rushed to me and smothered any further conversation with a burning kiss. I sighed into him, trying desperately to be careful of his wounded side.

“I’d really like to carry ya inside the tent,” he whispered against my lips.

I smiled at the thought of it. “If you screw up those stitches, I’ll catch hell from Hershel.” I giggled and took his hand. “Besides, I’m perfectly capable of walking with you inside the tent, Daryl.”

The others were gone, except Dale, Carol, Glenn, and the Greene family. And entering our tent, I watched as Daryl groaned and lay back on our sleeping bags. I knew this killed him, being at anyone’s mercy, even mine. Yet, I loved that he trusted me enough to allow it. I bit my lip and looked down at him, fully clothed and clean, thank God. I could still see the ear necklace and all the blood and gore from the day before.

“What’re ya lookin’ at?” He asked, his gruff voice husky and his eyes barely squinting to take me in.

I smiled and laid down beside him. “You, Daryl Dixon, I was looking at you.” I ran my hand up his chest, careful of the bandaged side. “And I was wondering something.”

I knew his eyes were closed without looking, because I felt him sigh into my soft touch. “What’s that?”

“Why was your mouth coated in blood yesterday?” I asked, sitting up on my elbow to look down at him. I saw him grimace slightly, ut-oh.

“I might of eaten a squirrel,” he stopped and wouldn’t look at me, “raw.”

Ugh, I thought, I’d kissed you yesterday and hadn’t even noticed. “Ah.” Was all I said, and I felt him twitch. “Remind me to never ask that question again.”

He chuckled at that. “So tough, but won’t even eat meat straight from the source. It was still warm-like.” He shook his head and met my eyes as I grimaced. “Should have warned ya, but your kiss was all I could think about on the way back.”

“I can’t fault that logic.” I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him again. When I pulled back, his eyes were more black than blue. “Since you’re injured, I should probably take care of you, right?” I asked, we had been so focused on our first night together that we’d never gotten to much more than the full act, so I wanted to be sure.

I watched his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow. He nodded and that was all I needed to get into caretaker mode. I gave him a smile and began kissing down his neck, flicking against his pulsepoint and feeling his hand run down my back and then back to my head. I kept going, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing each inch of skin that was exposed as the buttons fell open. His nipples were taunt, and I spent a moment enjoying each one before returning to my route. Down his stomach, nuzzling his bellybutton, and then my fingers found the button on his jeans.

“I probably shouldn’t completely undress you,” I whispered against his skin as I flicked the button open. “Just when I do, we’ll be called to defend the damn world.” I felt him chuckle as my fingers opened the zipper. “But I’ll make sure everything necessary to your recovery is bared to my attention.” His fingers slid under the tightness of my braid and I smiled against his pelvic bone. He lifted his ass long enough to free that part of him I was most concerned with, and then he was free. I hummed in approval. “Oh, I’m more than certain I can make you feel all better, Mr. Dixon.” I looked up to see he’d put his other arm under his head to get a better angle to watch me. I smirked at him as my tongue flicked against the head that had given me such pleasure in the bright light of the moon. “Just let me know if there’s anything that you need to make a full recovery.” And with that I engulfed him with my mouth, my hand moved to the base and together with my mouth and tongue, I worked him.

“Shit, Jessi,” he hissed, his fingers tangled in the depths of my hair. “Yeah, fuck, just like that.”

I moved slowly, then faster, then slower, making him moan and gasp. His hand in my hair tightened and I knew he was ready, but he did the unexpected, he yanked me from him. “Get up here, Jess.” He growled and my mouth met his with a hunger that was even more than the night before. “I need ya. All of ya.” He moaned against my mouth, and I felt his hands sliding down to my own jeans, undoing them and tugging. “Pull em off.” He ordered and I pulled back, kicking off my boots and ridding myself of my pants. “Now climb on top.” Demanding, I thought, but I was powerless to deny him.

I straddled him and then he snapped up into me. We both moaned at the feeling. We hadn’t thought it was right to try in Hershel’s house, in a stranger’s bed, but this, I rocked my hips and felt sparks between us, this was US. He pulled me back to him, so most of my weight was on him. I was trying to be so careful of his wound, but he wouldn’t allow it. Not now, not here, here we had to connect. And so, my covered chest was tight against his, even as he quickened his pace of thrusting. He swallowed my screams of pleasure as I was fed his own. And for the first time, but not the last, when we came, we didn’t part.

And for a brief moment, I forgot about the walkers in the barn and my newest sibling on the way.

[courtneyyharper]

10 Christmas Gifts ‘for her’ if you’re completely clueless

Since it's apparently time to start thinking about that time of year I thought I'd jump on and attempt to give you some help in an attempt to spark​ some ideas. Whether you're using this list for ideas for your other half, your mum or sister, or even if you are that person that likes something on this list why don't you send it over as a wee hint... the irony of this is that I've banned my boyfriend from looking at this list as there's a few spoilers on here for his gifts! (Hope he enjoys a wee eyeshadow palette😬).

So let’s start...

1. AIRPODS

I'm sure this will be a big gift this year and a perfect gift if you know they'll be getting a new phone or laptop! Perfect for a music lover or just the person that always needs to have the next big thing! I'd recommend planning to get a pair of these bad boys from Amazon or Currys during the Black Friday sale.

2. STUDIO LIGHT

A gift my mum got me unexpectedly a few years back and I haven't looked back. Not just for the MUA or photography student in your life but even just for every day make up application and I know my friends always use mine for checking their outfits or taking selfies before a night out! I've shown in the product photo how you can get a full sized one or a desk sized one easily on Amazon, your choice. Along this line would also be a Hollywood mirror, the big vanity mirrors with the bright lights installed but they can be hard to source as they're so popular and you need to make sure they're the bright studio lights. Top tip would just be to check the dimensions so you know what you're getting.

3. POLAROID CAMERA

I wanna say this is a cult favourite. I don't know many girls who don't have one of these now but if your gift recipient is one of them then it'd be a great gift! They're a great idea for Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries because it means you can capture the memories and of course ironically take a photo of the polaroid with your phone and post it to Instagram!! They come in a variety of colours and you can purchase accessories and refillable polaroid packs for other special occasions after, making it the gift that keeps on giving.

4. VINYL PLAYERS

Another gift that keeps on giving. If they're a real music lover and always have Spotify going in their room, and with the lack of concerts this year, this would be a very thoughtful gift. You can get these lads pretty cheap on Amazon or fork out for the pricey ones from UO. The only downside is that the actual Vinyl records themselves is where this gifts will cost you the most, but at least you'll always have an idea for next years present.

5. FOREVER ROSES

Now these guys can be quite boujee and I remember them being really popular a few years ago. If you type 'forever roses' into google or, probably better yet, Instagram you'll get a lot of companies selling gift sets of these specially preserved roses that can last for years. An incredibly romantic and surprising gift, this one can cost you big bucks but if you shop around enough you can get single roses for around £20 or major bunches for a few hundred but it's sure to win you major brownie points.

6. LUSH

This is the standard gift and perfect for a Christmas Eve bath. If you couldn't come up with this present on your own then please pay close attention to this blog because oh buddy you will need it! There are so many gift boxes to choose from at Lush and the great thing is you can't go wrong with any of them. Not to worry if you don't have a bath too because I also have you covered with these Lush sprays which are sooo good that you won't need to work out what their favourite perfume is for the third year in a row. (Also a great brand to support for its morals which is a bonus!!)

7. BLANKETS

Not only perfect for those cosy Winter and lockdown nights but also a great home decor item that is so popular on Instagram! These massive knit blankets can get incredibly pricey online, ranging from 20ish quid for a tiny one to a few hundred for the massive ones, so if you're willing to pay that then go ahead but top tip is to have a look in Home Bargains because they had these guys in all year for £25 and even Primark Home had a few in recently but I'd get ahead of the game for this one before they sell out...

8. JEWELLERY

Now I'm not a massive jewellery fan myself but some girls just go ga-ga for a princess ring. If you're wondering if your girlfriend/sister/daughter is one of them you can identify these people by their less-than-subtle 'just gonna post this here xx' social media posts sharing the Pandora sales. I know most boys get scared to choose jewellery in case the person 'doesn't like it' blah blah but chances are unless they've told you somethng they specifically want or you've been missing some massive hints (ie. ring photos 'accidentally' sent to you) then they'll appreciate literally anything you choose. It's the idea you've went and chosen something specifically for them more than the item itself that matters. If you like it, they'll like it more. The big site is Pandora and many sites like it will have 'Christmas Gift Guide' sections to make it super easy for you. Top tip: you could do a wee price low-high if this is just an add-on gift and although it's horrible to say they will most likely look it up and check how much you spent on it... sorry about that!

9. EYESHADOW PALETTE

Now this is one you will most likely skip over because it feels like delving into a massive jungle with no map and no water and actually no shoes and no clue whatsoever of where to start. That's what boys feel like trying to buy girls make up and I really can't blame you. In fact, if you haven't been told exactly what to buy then who could blame you but if you're really looking to impress and go the extra mile and know they like make up then I'm going to attempt to help you as best I can and try and keep it really simple! So, first of all you'll need to somehow have a look at their collection when they're getting ready or be super stealthy and just double check they don't have the palette you're going to get them.

This is important. Right, so question one is do they watch YouTubers do make up? Because if they do then simply find out who they watch and check if that influencer has a palette or collab with a makeup brand because then your job is done for you!! If they've told you all about the James Charles/Tatti/Jefree Starr drama that encapsulated YouTube in the past then find out who's side they support because all three of those guys have palettes! James Charles x Morphe Artistry palette, Tatti has her own brand, or if they came out supporting Jeffree Starr and Shane Dawson in the whole fiasco then the Jeffree Starr 'Conspiracy palette' is for you. To each their own. These two main palettes I've featured on the left below for you to have a look at.

The top right palette is the new HUDA Beauty Naughty Nude palette and it's the one I'd go for if you're really unsure still! It's a new release so doubtful they have it and there's no crazy colours so can be used by everyone. It would be my top recommendation for make up this Christmas.

The three below that are all YouTuber/Influencer collabs with makeup brands that have been pretty popular this year. From the left: BPerfect x Stacey Marie Carnival III Love Tahiti Palette is one to get if you know they love doing colourful and adventurous looks, middle: Carli Bybel Palette x Anastasia Beverly Hills and far right: BPerfect x Jah Makeup Artist Clientele Palette are both perfect for more simple looks or if they don't go wild with colour and are both from big brands so will be very much appreciated!

God, this really could have been its own post where I explained it a bit better but alas...

10. HAIR CURLERS/WAVER

Maybe they're not as into makeup and prefer hair, or maybe they just love both? Then a Beauty Works hair styler would be a boujee gift for them. So, for this you can do the standard version of the products (gold) or you can do the newer versions in the collab with Molly Mae (pink). It's up to you. These products are pricey but great quality. First is the hair curler (Professional styler) which is great if both you and they love their hair curly, and you can't go wrong with Molly Mae's signature bouncy curls. The second option is a new trend in hair his year, The Waver, which creates the mermaid waves that I've pictured Molly Mae wearing below (and yes boys they’re different than curls) and a great gift if they already have the curler. Top tip: is to get these lads while ASOS have 20% off because you're grabbing yourself a bargain or if you're really on a budget many brands do these products without the hefty price tag.

BONUS: GIFT ADVENT CALENDER

This year there is a major boom in the idea of gift advent calendars, so behind every door is a small gift instead of chocolate. Now what would be super adorable is to buy advent boxes online and fill them yourself with personalised gifts but luckily many brands have brought out their own versions! The best one I have saw so far this year is this PrettyLittleThing beauty calendar but it has been sold out for some time now! ASOS etc. are doing their own versions and there have even been adorable versions in the likes of HomeBargains and B&Ms where you can get candle or even alcohol versions.

Well, I hope this helped even a little bit! If you're really on the ball you'll have noticed I haven't included anything like the staple Primark pyjamas or everything seems catered towards girlfriends or 'for her' but not to worry I've many more versions planned, including 'for him', 'on a budget', and 'how to dress up your present'!

Happy (very early) Christmas!🎁🎄

[bespectacled-panda]

after seeing dumpywoof’s post I was inspired to do a tier list of my own!!! and boy howdy do I have some hot takes of the century it turns out,,,

the seasons are more or less organized in descending order within the same row as well (e.g. MC 4 > MC 5). also, shamefully copying dumpywoof & putting a detailed & overly verbose explanation for each season:

S Tier

Terraria 3: For me, absolutely nothing compares to Terraria 3. No other season combines such perfect participant dynamics with such heart-wrenching drama—not to mention the existence of Team New Kids who make me cry on a daily basis, or the incredible fake twist ending. It would be a sin to put this season anywhere but alone at the very top. Also props for being the only (1 of 2) post-show that actually includes all of the cast.

 A Tier

Minecraft 4: This is the best season for shenanigans alone, hands-down. It’s largely just the participants shooting the shit together, especially in the latter half of the season when it gets down to just the four of them. & I have a huge soft spot for men being wholesomely foolish together I suppose, so here it goes fhdhfhd.

Minecraft 5: To be honest, I have not seen this season since it released, which is a crime, I know, I’m sorry :orb: But I remember it being very very good, & I cannot imagine my taste will have changed that dramatically in just a few years, so. in truth, this one might be actually better than MC 4, but as I have not seen it in many years I can’t say that for certain. Either way, though, it’s definitely one of the best seasons out there.

MineZ 1: To me, MineZ 1 is the reverse of MC 4: low on shenanigans & high on drama. It’s pre-Todd era, but the editing in this one is honestly Todd-level, I would say. It’s so incredibly tense, especially the scene with McJones & PBG trying to escape the caves, and I feel like the sheer stress of it all brought out a new side of a lot of the participants, most notably Dean—who sounded genuinely agonized at times. A very very quality season all around, IMO.

Terraria 2: This season probably objectively deserves to be B tier, but I am it giving A tier for personal bias. I just,,, love the dynamics okay. Jeff & McJones especially made for a killer duo. It was a rare instance of McJones being the funny man himself rather than being the straight man to someone else’s funny man; he was super uncharacteristically goofy & almost borderline flirtatious at times, it really made for some good moments fhdhfjd. Plus then you got McJones solo commentary at the end which I greatly enjoyed. Just,, a very enjoyable season, very mid-HC era, very light & easy to watch, all that good stuff.

Diablo II: Man,,,,this absolutely 100% does not deserve A tier, I know, I’m sorry, but I just can’t bring myself to put it lower. I have A tier love for it :orb: Admittedly, the game is horrendously ugly and confusing to watch, but the shenanigans + the cast dynamics win me over in the end. Paul especially was great in this, & I hope he makes a return someday. Loving fathers Paul & Jirard with their sorceress son McJones making their way through the end-game just cannot be beaten. (Anti-shoutouts to Ross though, I don’t know anything about him, I am sure he is a lovely man, but GOD. WHY DID HE KEEP RUNNING OFF ON HIS OWN & GETTING LOST BUT THEN FORCEFULLY REFUSING HELP,,, ROSS YOU ARE THE WORST DHDHFJDJD)

 B Tier

Minecraft 7: Boy,,, this is going to be a controversial take fhhfjdjf. I just don’t know how to explain it, but something about MC7 felt,,,, Very off. I don’t know what it was, just something about the season seemed very,,, almost like you could tell things were falling apart behind the scenes, & they were trying to pull it back together but weren’t quite succeeding. It’s not a bad season in any regards, of course, I just,, don’t enjoy it nearly as much as a lot of others,, it’s missing that crucial spark of life in my opinion,, also Dean leaving to go to work was kind of strange,, I get it, it’s probably difficult to work around his real-life job,, but it felt strange,, he got like temporary immunity. Nothing like that had ever happened before I don’t think. And also they never even explained why Dean wasn’t there for like three episodes fjdjfjhd,,

Minecraft 3: God I feel like I just keep digging myself into a deeper & deeper hole here fhsjfjd,,, but man, I did like MC3 to be honest. It wasn’t the best season, it kind of went nowhere, but I liked the cast & there was a lot of good funnymoments. Smooth & Shane were very good guests who I feel like really rounded out the season, & Jontron did not come off as terribly overbearing as I believe that he has in other seasons. Overall, pretty decent, I’d say.

 C Tier

Minecraft 2: MC 2 & MC 3 are very similar, but I think MC 2 is slightly worse, both in terms of entertainment & cast. NCS & Kyrak did not hit like Smooth & Shane did,,, and I feel like just everything that happened in this one was fairly forgettable. I was torn as to whether this should be a B or a C, but I put it here in the end just to drive home that I really don’t like it as much as MC 3, I don’t believe.

Minecraft 6: Oh lord, this is a nuclear take fhdjfjd. Again, this isn’t a bad season at all, it has its good moments, especially Chad & Dodger, they are angels & I love them & want them back. But boy,,, just. Many things went wrong here. None of the twists panned out like,, at all, which I know isn’t necessarily anyone’s fault, the concept of this twist & of twists in general is very good. But it fell so flat here, especially with the revival. There was,, no debate at all about what to do. They hyped it up like they had this big decision to make, but then nobody made any effort to dramatize it at all. It was basically just Dean deciding by himself and everyone just sitting back & letting him. For the record, I have no qualms with the fact that Dodger was revived, I fully agree that she deserved it over McJones, but it was not played well at all IMO,,,      I do have to admit, though, with a fair amount of sheepishness, that the thing that most sullies this season for me is McJones’s death. Just,,, his horrible, so so avoidable, insanely early death, coupled with his retirement shortly thereafter & him becoming so jaded with hc that he expressed borderline hostility & hatred towards it just,,, hurts. I kinda don’t wanna see the events of MC 6 now knowing the aftermath. I understand fully that this particular point is not something most people care about to say the least dhfhdjd, but,,, in all honesty, I really don’t have any desire to rewatch this one, as objectively good as it might be. It was a win but it felt like a loss, if that makes sense. Also the post-show lacked all three people I actually wanted to hear from fhdjfjd neither the two people who could’ve been revived nor the actual person who did the reviving were there to share their insight & perspectives on it :pensive: 

 D Tier

Starbound: man,,, starbound. This is a very mixed bag for me. On one hand, I disagree with people who say that it was boring or that nothing happened, I found it very tense, Todd’s editing had me on edge throughout every episode. But on the other hand,,, man. Very few memorable moments, what even happened in this one,, also I feel like the game mechanics/plot weren’t explained very well, I feel like I remember being vaguely confused all the time as to what was happening. Probably will not ever rewatch either.

 Have Not Seen

DayZ: I will not ever be watching this season both because I do not know anything about DayZ & because from what I’ve heard it was an absolute disaster, I’m just not interested in getting involved in that fhdhfjdk

Terraria 1: There’s not really a reason I haven’t watched this one. Just,, I haven’t made my way down to the earliest seasons yet. Although as mentioned before, I have seen a few clips of this season, & Jontron seems to be pretty obnoxious in this one, so I don’t how much I’ll enjoy the parts with him in it, but I definitely do want to watch it someday.

Minecraft 1: The same as Terraria 1, I just happen to not have seen this one by chance. But unlike T1, I am much more looking forward to actually watching it, it seems really good, I want to experience that legendary very first season at last dhdhfjd

MineZ 2: Man,,, many things about the behind-the-scenes of this season make me sort of uncomfortable honestly. Just,,, the visceral second-hand shame & embarrassment of someone in the hc fandom being so rude & bothersome to the cast,, somehow it makes me feel personally responsible even though I didn’t do anything fhdjfj,,, Also,, once again continuing with the trend of me being saddened by McJones expressing dislike for seasons fhdjfjd,, I do recall him saying, regarding this season, something like “I think it would’ve been better if we just never did this,” which,,, ow. That doesn’t make me particularly enthused to watch it fhdjfjd. I probably will end up watching this season someday to be honest, but I’m not looking forward to feeling the cast’s frustration & unhappiness with the situation,, (EDIT: I want to be clear that there is no actual drama surrounding minez 2!!! it is a perfectly fine season, there is nothing wrong with it, it just happens that I personally am bothered by the fact that there was a lot of like,,, frustration coming from the participants regarding the player who was stalking them. this in no way means that minez 2 is an objectively bad or problematic season!! if minez 2 is your favorite season I completely respect you, there is nothing wrong with that!! there is a lot to like about the season as a whole!!! I just personally care too much about mcjones having a bad time in seasons bc it’s what ultimately led to his retirement, & that makes me sad fjdhfjdjd. but it has come to my attention that my wording made it sound like there was drama about minez 2, which there never actually was, I am very very sorry for my unintentional yet poor choice of words.)

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Shanie’s Action Figure Update

1/13/2021

Well, time for another edition of Shanie’s Action Figure Update! Pictures:

First Row: Sami Zayn Elite 40 (NXT) and Elite 51 Second Row: Stephanie McMahon “Milk-O-Mania" Elite and Elite 50 Third Row: Marvel Legends Toys R Us 2-Pack Scarlet Witch (without Vision), Thor Ragnarok 2-Pack Hela (without Skurge), and Thor Ragnarok 2-Pack Valkyrie (without Thor).

So, some exciting news for you folks today! These are all figures I have gotten within the last 3 weeks or so, with the Scarlet Witch just arriving yesterday. The NXT Sami came the day before that and the rest showed up at the end of December. All in all, a decent showing, if you ask me.

So, about the figures!

All these figures came loose in technically “Used” condition. I am very poor and, whenever possible, will take the cheapest option available on a figure to save a buck. (More on that later) This means frequently buying loose and sometimes getting figures with a bit of wear. Out of this batch, despite all the figures being listed as Used, the only ones that really show wear are the NXT Sami, who has some paint rub on his eyebrows, and Hela, who has some annoying marks on her face. Neither one were dealbreakers for me, especially considering the deals which I got on the figures. If anything, I’m really just grateful I could get the NXT Sami for so cheap WITH his belt! Now I can display him as both NXT and IC champion, although there is still no word on when or if they will release an updated Sami Zayn figure in green.

Oh, and why did I buy two additional Sami Zayn Elites when I already had one? Well, see, I’ve sorta got this thing for him and I’ve decided I need all his elites now. I have one left to get, and once I get my hands on that one, I’ll be good on Sami figures till they release an updated one.

As for the Stephanies... these are both figures which I am aware I bought in the past. However, that Milk-O-Mania Alliance Steph is the only way to get an Attitude Era (ish) Steph, so I bought her to make a WrestleMania X-Seven Stephanie figure. And the Elite 50, while I know I have one around here somewhere, my apartment ate the one I bought with my very first Ringside Collectibles order years back, so I bought a new one. Both are in great condition, despite being used.

Finally, the Marvel Legends figures. These I decided to bite the bullet on because frankly, they weren't getting any cheaper. For the record, all three of these figures come from 2-pack, but they were all bought individually, without their box-mates.For Valkyrie, I know you would think I’d want “Triumphant Warrior” Valkyrie over this one, but I honestly like the aesthetic look of the 2-pack one better. White is not usually a color I’m fond of with my figures, due to the black color of my shelf. The Hela came with zero accessories but was pretty cheap which made me happy because ML Hela figures are pretty pricey. I was fine just getting the base figure and I really just wanted the horned headsculpt on her anyway. Finally, Scarlet Witch... ok, she was the most expensive out of any of these, but someone had listed one for an ok price and that plus my eBay bucks meant I got her for practically a steal, considering how much she goes for and the fact she was mint-loose. So these three I’m glad to finally add to my collection. Now my ML women’s figures collecting isn’t just pegwarmers (outside Agent Carter).

All in all, some great additions.   However, I have some unfortunate news as well.

I had mentioned earlier my plans to make Hardcore Champion Shane McMahon as a custom for his birthday this year. Back before Christmas, I had ordered a loose suited Shane to use as a base figure. Then, with the holidays, I didn’t pay much attention to it, figuring that it would get to me in plenty of time.

It didn’t and it won’t. The seller turned out to be horribly unreliable (serves me right for ordering from someone with 7 feedback) and didn’t even ship the figure until the 8th of this month, and that was only after I got mad demanding to know where my figure was. It’s currently stuck in the system and is listed as “Arriving Late”. I highly doubt it will get here in time. I’m pissed, but again, it serves me right for A. Not buying from a trusted seller, B. Being so cheap, C. Not paying attention to the auction after I paid and D. Not speaking up immediately when I did notice the figure hadn’t shipped. I know this is his fault, but there were steps I could have taken to possibly helped the situation. Regardless, I’m likely not going to be able to make the figure I intended for the 15th, which has me seriously pissed off. Fucknuggets.

So, that concludes another edition of Shanie’s Action Figure Update. Stay tuned for some time (who knows when) later this month when I hopefully get that custom figure done and post photos to share with all of you.

[c-sand]

Your tags on that literati post are so true. Both of their viewpoints are right but people still rally against Jess as if he's somehow the devil's spawn. Also acting like he broke up Dean and Rory intentionally when??? The entire relationship was based off of Rory trying to appease Dean's overbearing ass esp after she had to tell him she loved him just for him to get back with her??

It’s one of those really good moments where everyone’s right and no one’s really wrong -- even though basically everyone likes to say that Jess is. 

It is completely okay that Rory is feeling awkward and uncomfortable. She likes Jess, she wants to be with Jess. [I mean, Jess moved to town and, let’s just be honest, he handed her that book and got her lit reference and immediately somewhere in her gut (even if she didn’t notice) she went, “Oh wow, Dean and I suck huh? Can’t wait to slowly and painfully let our relationship die -- in an agonizing experience for all involved, but especially for the audience.”] But, the statement that everyone in the town is watching is not a lie or an over exaggeration. Everyone in the town is watching. Everyone in the town is judging. They all hate him. They literally had a town meeting once to kick this TEENAGER out, as if that’s acceptable behaivor. Not even her mother can find it in herself to not be an asshole say passive aggressive remarks about how she had zero issues kissing Dean in public and showing him affection and she didn’t have this problem with Deaaaaan -- all while her daughter is literally concaving in on herself from the judgement she’s facing from her new relationship with Bad Boy, Jess “I stole some baseballs, once” Mariano.

Despite her saying this is the first time her and Dean have broken up, it’s actually the second time he’s turned her into an ex in a not so graceful way. But, unlike the first time Dean decided to drop kick her into the sun (because, she’d been dating him for basically no time at all, truly, and therefor hadn’t come to the expedient conclusion that she was going to give him fourteen children after her mother sold her for two goats) where it absolutely wasn’t her fault that Dean is emotionally incompetent and manipulative -- the second time he breaks up with her, it is partially. Not completely. Dean’s emotionally abusive and extremely possessive. It hits a point where she’s literally flinching from him when he’s screaming at her -- her friend having to save her from a clearly violent situation. Dean’s behaivor is an absolute disaster, so he’s definitely at fault for the relationship’s end, too.

But, Rory meets Jess and immediately connects with him (and Rory is not allowed to talk to someone that isn’t on Dean’s pre-approved communications list, so it’s a big deal)and starts drifting away from the heinous situation she’s in. (Because, she JUST went through this with Dean, when he was out here planning how to murder Tristan only a month or two prior. Despite what I see all of the time: this behaivor did not manifest out of nowhere to make way for Jess. Dean was always like this). She completely disconnects from Dean. She’s a shadow self around him. For good reasons, obviously. But still, she’s not present. She’s so obviously into Jess, it’s a mess, she can’t even hide it. She cheats on him. She spends that whole dance staring Jess down and talking about him and flat out being a disaster. In this very moment, this break up is her fault. 

It was so public. Everyone saw it. Everyone hates Jess. Everyone’s watching. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone feels comfortable just ragging on this kid to her and everyone else 24/7, as if that’s appropriate. Everyone loves Dean. Everyone. Everyone. Everyone. Everyone.

She’s got this guilt about how she treated him (even though I still don’t think it was anything compared to how Dean treated her), she’s never had a second boyfriend, she feels crazy pressure. She never in the entire show seems to realise that she was in an abusive relationship, so she just feel like she destroyed Dean and she feels horrible. She doesn’t want to hurt him any more than necessary, blah blah. The fact that she doesn’t want to flaunt it is perfectly understandable and perfectly reasonable. There’s so many reasons she doesn’t want to. A third is the town. A third is Dean. A third is her mom. No one likes Jess, but her and Luke. It’s totally okay that she wants to integrate into society slowly lolz

Jess is also not wrong. Jess is also right.

Was Jess obvious that he liked Rory? Of course. Did he put in much effort to hide it? No. Did he put effort into pretending he liked Dean? Absolutely not. But, if Rory wanted to be with Dean, she would be with Dean. Jess seemed to basically just take any time he could get with her that he could get with her, but there was never any actually pressure for her to be with him. The pressure she felt was from inside herself, because she liked him and didn’t like Dean anymore (which is beyond understandable and duh) and was trying to keep liking Dean and stop liking Jess and pressure pressure. But, that wasn’t on Jess. He even took time to try and understand why she did like Dean. It is not his fault she couldn’t think of a single reason.

He never came out and said, “I like you, please dump your boyfriend.” He never even said he liked her, before she kissed him. It was obvious, he pulled a bunch of stunts to get to spend time with her, but she had free will, she did not have to spend time with him, if she didn’t want to. After she kisses him for the first time, she tells him to keep it a secret. She doesn’t speak with him. She essentially chastises him for trying to move on, criticizes his girlfriend (he IS actually dating this girl -- they don’t just makeout, they go on dates, they talk on the phone, they do things together -- Shane is his girlfriend), is really degrading to, both Shane’s looks and intelligence. 

She likes Jess, she hates him, she likes him, she hates him. And it’s true she’s struggling with how she feels, how she thinks she should feel, what she wants, what she thinks she should do. But, to Jess it’s like a roller coaster of emotions. 

They’ve already done their initial limbo, upon getting together, where they couldn’t figure out how to touch without it being awkward and uncertain. XTC “Then She Appeared” all over the place and she apologized to Dean for being crappy about how she handled everything and now Jess thinks they’re in a comfortable place. And right out of the gate, they rewind back and she’s asking him to hide, again. Secret kisses. Hidden affection. Her reasoning are sound and clearly he’s not incapable of understanding, because he doesn’t put up much fight before asking her how long they interact on the down low. It’s not really a hostile conversation. She’s not flinching in fear. But, his feelings are sound, too. It’s a quick whiplash back to a, “Okay, but this isn’t a public situation,” that it had ended on before the summer. It’s totally rational for him to have a negative reaction at hearing she wants to temper their interactions, to make things more comfortable on Dean and the town -- even if that’s not exactly what she means -- even if it’s actually about her being uncomfortable and nervous.

Rory isn’t wrong. Jess isn’t wrong. They’re both right. And then understand each other at the end of the conversation. They’ll tone it down for awhile until she feels more comfortable. She feels more comfortable, later, and they tone it back up. Rory isn’t evil demon spawn for feeling uncomfortable being judged by everyone. It’s all good. Jess isn’t evil demon spawn for not being happy he’s being asked, again, to keep it quiet. They’re both just feeling their feelings. Neither was hurting the other in the conversation. Rory has some selective memory about how many times her and Dean have broken up and that’s honestly the most harmful part of the conversation, because I rejoice in those two separations, so have some respect for my joy, girl.

[richonnefics]

Richonne Reset #3 (Sacrifice & Negotiation) by SBK

Michonne watches cautiously as Rick slowly maneuvers his body in front of hers.  She recognizes that he is trying to protect her and immediately wonders how the two men know each other.

“Shane…..I thought……” Rick trails off as Shane interrupts.

“Yeah I know what you thought but as you can see I’m alive and well.”  He scoffs.  “No thanks to you.”  He drops a huge duffle bag with the initials KCSD to the ground and keeps his gun trained on them.

Michonne’s grip tightens on her weapon as she picks up on the tension in Rick’s shoulders and the ire in the other man’s voice.

“I…..

“I’m gonna need you to listen.  I don’t have time for all your fancy words.  Where is my daughter?”

Rick drops his head.  “Judith is safe.  Let’s keep her that way.”

The scrape of a walker’s feet against the asphalt followed by a snarl alerts them they are not alone.  Shane motions with his gun for them to enter the building they were in front of.

“We can’t go in there blindly,” Michonne reminds him.  She unsheathes her sword amidst protests from Shane and ends the walker at his back with one sure swing.  She flicks the darkened blood from her blade and watches both men warily.

“Damn girl you got skills.  How’d you end up with this riff raff?”  Shane wonders.

“If you don’t mind, we’ll be on our way now,” Michonne responds.

“Uh uh….that ain’t happening.  You see Rick here has something I want.  Now you appear to be an intelligent woman.  I don’t know what kinda connection you two got but it’d be in your best interest to hear me out,” Shane states.

Michonne is going to ensure that she makes it back to the prison, back to her son so she nods her head in agreement.  She watches as Shane indicates to Rick to lead the way back to the bar which alerts her to his familiarity of this town as well.  She falls in behind her companion while Shane brings up the rear, still holding his rifle on them.

Moments later they are seated at a round table, a shot glass of amber liquid within each person’s reach, the stench of walker bodies stifling the air.  Rick and Michonne cleared the place earlier and the adrenaline must have prevented them from noticing the cloud of mustiness that clung mercilessly at the moment.

 Shane has his back to the door, facing them with a self-assured grin on his face.  He rests the rifle at his side, the butt on the floor and the nuzzle aimed at the ceiling.

“Now let’s get down to business shall we?”

“Shane…..don’t,” Rick requests softly.

“You have absolutely no say in this.  I’m gonna talk with your companion here as it’s quite clear to me she took you in,” Shane answers.  He gives his attention to Michonne.  “I don’t want this to be long and drawn out so I’ll cut right to it.  Rick has my daughter and I want her.  I been holed up in this shit hole hometown of ours trying to get my wits together after being left for dead by my own best friend.  He practically let his wife die in childbirth and….”

Rick flinches with anger, taking in the walkie at Shane’s waist and wondering how truthful his words are concerning his solitude.  “What could I do?  You couldn’t save her any more than I could but you blame me.”

“You got damn right I blame you.  What the hell you come back for?  Everything was fine….perfect without you.”  Shane lifts his brown eyes to Rick’s blue.  “You ruined it all but this time….this time I’m gonna make sure you stay dead.”

“Killing me won’t bring her back,” Rick reminds him.

“No but I sure will feel a helluva lot better,” Shane retorts.

Michonne can’t help wondering exactly what happened between these two and why the other man is claiming to be the father of the baby she thought belonged to Rick.  She has most assuredly made the wrong decision in allowing Rick Grimes into their group but she’ll have to deal with that later.  Right now, she has to concentrate on how to get out of this bar and away from this clearly insane former friend of Rick’s.  “You two can hash it out some other time.  Tell me what you want from me so I can get the hell out of here.”

Shane lifts his glass to his lips and downs the liquor.  “I like an assertive woman.  Turns me the fuck on every time.  Well…..what I want is Rick.  You leave him here with me and tomorrow I expect to see you with Judith.  If not….well Rick will just tell me where you are and I’ll come get her.”  He lifts his hand to stop Michonne from speaking.  “Uh….no need to respond in the negative.  I don’t want to know where you live.  All I want is my daughter.  You bring her to me and you can wash your hands of this whole mess.  How bout it?”

Michonne takes a deep breath and releases it.  “Just like that?  I give you Rick and Judith and just walk away?  Everything’s fine?  What about Carl?”

“I’m sure he’s not gonna want to live without his little sister so he can come along,” Shane returns.

“So why should I believe you have these kids’ best interests at heart?  What makes Rick so bad?”  Michonne asks.  She is going to try her best to keep him talking, distract him enough to make her escape a fail proof one.

Shane lifts his hand and scratches his head.  “So you don’t think Rick’s bad huh?”

Michonne hides her surprise as this is not what she anticipated from the other man.  She thought he’d be more than willing to list all of the bad things about Rick, giving her some much needed information as well.  “I don’t know him like you do so how could I be a judge?”

“You’re gonna have to be whether you like it or not.  Don’t try and make me out to be the bad one because I slept with his wife and all that shit.  I took care of her.  I kept her alive when he couldn’t.  It ain’t my fault he got himself shot and was laid up in some got damn hospital when things went bad.  If it wasn’t for me, Carl and…….”

A split second decision prompts her to kick out, knocking Shane’s rifle to the ground where it skids several inches out of his reach.  Rick lifts and slams his gun across the other man’s face, knocking him to the dusty floor before he can reach for another weapon. 

Michonne doesn’t look back as she makes a mad dash for the door and keeps running. 

Rick clocks Shane across the face several more times, blood splattering everywhere, rendering his former friend unconscious.  He puts the nuzzle to his head and motions to squeeze the trigger.  He notices Michonne’s absence and immediately decides to go after her.  He grabs the rifle and the gun bag and exits the bar.

He comes up short as he sees her battling a small group of walkers but pushes on, holstering his colt and using the butt of the rifle to bash some heads in.  No words are spoken between them as they rush back to the car and make a hasty exit.

He drives several miles away before he glances over at her.  He could feel her eyes on him the entire time but he just notices the barrel of her hand gun peeping out from under her jacket, pointed in his direction.  He faces forward, watching the asphalt as they speed along.

“I can explain…..”

“Oh I think I know what’s going on.  Did you kill him?”  She asks.

He sighs deeply.  “I…..the weight of the guilt was too much before.  Maybe him being….him surviving is giving me a second chance.”

“The man wants you dead so you’re willing to risk that and leave your kids without you?”

“They won’t lose me.  There has to be another way.  Besides, he’ll never find the prison,” Rick provides.

Michonne shakes her head.  “You’ve put me in a horrible position.  Two days.  I’ll give you two days and then you’re gone.”  She turns her head away from him to look out of the window, pondering on her decision.  “And not a word about this to anyone at the prison.”

Rick remains silent but gives a nod in agreement.  His mind is twirling with what he’ll do once they have to leave but he figures he’ll deal with that when it comes.

They return to the prison, welcomed by the laughter of their boys.  Carl and Andre were chasing each other in the yard while Beth watched from a short distance away, carrying a red faced Judith.

Rick quickly masks his surprise as he hasn’t heard Carl laugh in weeks now.  He watches as the other little boy races toward them and throws himself into Michonne’s arms, calling her mommy.  He taps Carl’s hat with affection before stepping to Beth and taking Judith into his arms.  “She doing ok?”  At Beth’s nod, he continues, “We found formula.  Lots of it.”

“That’s great.  I’ll go feed her if you want,” Beth offers.

“Thank you but no.  I can do it,” Rick answers as he grabs the bag at his feet and makes his way towards Cell Block C with Carl following close behind.

Beth walks over to Michonne.  “So what’s the verdict?”

Michonne watches the man in question disappear in the distance.  “Well he can handle himself out there.  That’s for sure.”

“So does that mean they’re staying?”

“Let’s give it a day or two,” MIchonne suggests before she grabs Andre by the hand and walks away.

[sfgooglebooks]

The Sergeant's Christmas Mission by Joanna Sims

"Do I need to sign a new lease or are you giving me notice?" Shane asked. His previous landlady, Ginny Martin, had passed away and his lease had expired while her will was in probate. There was a shortage of housing in Bozeman, Montana; if he got kicked out of his apartment, he would most likely have to return to Sugar Creek Ranch, his family's cattle spread.

Rebecca, who held her body stiffly and had an anxious, worried look hovering in her eyes, glanced over her shoulder at her two boys before answering.

"I'm not here to kick you out," she told him. "I thought we'd see how it goes until the end of the month. Aunt Ginny always spoke so highly of you."

"All right." Shane nodded with a deadpan expression that didn't reflect his relief. It looked like, at least for now, Ginny was still looking out for him.

"I have to get my boys to school." She glanced at her phone to check the time. "We're running late. As usual."

"Okay. Well. Nice meetin' ya." Shane opened his door, about to walk back inside and get back to the business of finding a beer and lying back down on the couch, when Rebecca stopped him.

"Wait." She waved her hand at him. "This wasn't a social call."

Rebecca jogged over to the spot where her sons had been waiting for her, picked up the squirming kitten, and headed his way with her two boys following along behind her.

Great, Shane thought. I threw one back and four jumped into the boat.

"We found this poor little kitten under the front porch this morning." Rebecca held up the wiggly, bedraggled kitten for him to see. "Is it yours?"

Shane got within three feet of the scraggly black-and-white kitten and started to sneeze.

"No." He shook his head. He had always been highly allergic.

"Then we can keep him," the younger of the two boys said to his mom.

"I'm sorry, Caleb," Rebecca said in a soft, but firm, tone. "We can't.”

She handed the older boy the keys to the car. "Carson, you and your brother wait for me in the car. I'll be right there."

The kitten was making a high-pitched cry and Shane had a feeling the little creature was hungry, thirsty, and missing its mom.

"I'm not sure what to do with him." Rebecca tried, unsuccessfully, to soothe the kitten. "I can't just lock him up in the house. I don't have a kitty box or food. Is there a shelter in town? Do you know?"

She talked so fast that Shane couldn't figure out when he was supposed to respond. That high-pitched crying noise was making his headache worse. While he was trying to figure out a solution to the problem, the kitten finally managed to twist out of Rebecca's hands; the moment it hit the ground, the kitten bolted through the crack in his front door, into his house.

"Oh!" Rebecca exclaimed. "I'm so sorry! I'll go get him."

The last thing he wanted was for his new landlady, who held the fate of his address in her hands, to venture into his dungeon. No one went in there and that's how he liked it.

"No." Shane blocked her path. "You're late. Get your boys to school. I'll catch the kitten."

"Catch?" She had turned away, paused and turned halfway back to him, the expression on her face concerned.

"Not in a mean way. I'm allergic." He tried to reassure her. "But I love all animals."

Rebecca hesitated for a moment longer, appearing to be conflicted. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." He frowned at her, not liking how distrustful she was of him. "I've got this."

She thanked him, seemingly relieved to have a solution for the kitten, and without glancing back at him, jogged toward the carport on the other side of the house.

Shane scratched his long beard with a yawn as he shut the front door of his house.

"Damn." The soldier stood in his galley kitchen, noticing, as if for the first time, how truly messy his small garage apartment had become. It was a dump. And it smelled.

On his way to the living room, Shane picked up the clothing and trash on the floor. If the kitten wanted to remain hidden in this disaster zone, he could do it. The first thing he really needed to do was get some light into the place. So Shane did something that he hadn't done in months - he opened the curtains and let the sunlight in.

Balls of dust were kicked up into the air when he yanked open the curtains. Coughing, Shane waved the air in front of his face. Dust was going up his nose and into his throat. After he got his coughing under control, Shane began the task of finding the kitten.

He'd always had horrible allergies, and now, with the dust stirred up and a kitten on the loose, he was sneezing one sneeze after another.

"Quit it!" Shane snapped, frustrated at his own nose. He grabbed a roll of toilet paper out of the bathroom, knowing that a box of tissues hadn't entered his apartment ever, and blew his nose every couple of minutes while he tried to find the kitten.

He searched the living room, picked up the trash as he went. The kitten wasn't there. Shane made a second cursory inspection of the tiny bathroom before he headed into his cramped bedroom. He tried to flip on the single overhead light, but then realized that the bulb had burned out sometime last month. Or maybe it was the month before that.

"Recon." He spoke to his companion. "You haven't seen a renegade kitten, have you?"

Shane tried to open the curtain covering the window in the bedroom. When it didn't move, he yanked a little too hard and the entire structure, curtain and curtain rod, crashed onto the ground at his feet.

More dust sprayed into the air, making Shane cough and sputter. "Damn it!"

This day was not going according to his usual plan. He should still be sleeping off his hangover, not worrying about a stowaway kitten.

Shane used a dirty T-shirt he found on the floor to wipe his eyes and his face. Then he balled up the T-shirt and threw it back down on the floor. Recon had lifted his head and was watching him curiously. That was when Shane noticed that his canine companion was harboring the kitten.

"Recon." The ex-soldier walked over to the side of the bed he rarely used. "Didn't I just ask you about this kitten?"

The kitten was curled up tightly in a ball between Recon's legs. The only way the kitten could have gotten up onto the bed was if Recon had put the kitten in his mouth like a chew toy and lifted him.

"Look, buddy. Don't get attached. You hear me?" Shane stared at the odd pair. "That kitten's not staying."

But, when he reached his hands out to take the kitten from the safe haven, Recon growled. Recon never growled at him.

"What was that?" Shane asked, surprised. He pulled his hands back.

Recon rested his head on his paws, providing complete cover for the sleeping kitten.

The soldier stood by the bed, stumped by his dog's behavior. Recon was acting as if he was protecting a favored toy. Recon had always been friendly to cats and kids; he looked big and scary, but he was a sweet dog. But he'd never adopted a kitten before.

"Listen to me, Recon. I'm going to clean up and then I'm coming back for that kitten. So be prepared." Shane pointed his finger at Recon with a sneeze. "You can't keep him."

"I really appreciate you trying to fix this for me," Rebecca said. "My sons make a ton of laundry."

"Boys tend to do that." Shane pulled the dryer from the wall.

"Yes, they do."

Before he opened the back of the dryer, Shane pulled the discharge line - the large silver tube hooking the dryer to the vent - out of the wall. "Well, here's some of the problem."

"Oh, my gosh." Rebecca peeked over his shoulder. "Is that all lint in there?"

"It's packed." Shane began to pull the tightly packed lint out of the line.

"You know, I had a brand-new front-loading washer and dryer, but I sold them because there was a washer and dryer listed in the will. I had no idea that they were the same washer and dryer that Aunt Ginny had when I was a kid."

"Your aunt liked to hang on to things, that's for sure." The memory of Ginny brought a brief smile to his face.

Shane sneezed several times, and once the discharge line was unclogged, he pulled some tissues out of his pants pocket and blew his nose. He was still sneezing from Top and his eyes were driving him nuts because they were so itchy.

"Is that from the lint or the kitten?"

He sneezed again. "I've never been allergic to lint."

"Shane."

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen your eyes?"

"No." He blew his nose again. "But they itch like crazy."

"They are swollen. And red."

"That explains it, then." Shane pushed the dryer sideways so he could remove the back.

"I'm going to get you some over-the-counter allergy medicine. I always have some on hand because of Carson."

"No need to bother." He knelt down by the dryer. Rebecca heard him, but ignored him. She disappeared into the house while he unscrewed the back of the dryer.

Once the back was off, Shane was sure he'd found a second cause of the problem. He had cleaned a large ball of lint out of the discharge line connection that was located inside of the dryer when Rebecca returned.

"That's disgusting," she exclaimed. "How has this dryer not caught on fire?"

"Luck."

"Here - take these. Generic Benadryl."

Shane decided to just go along with Rebecca; she had that motherly look on her face and he knew better than to fight those instincts.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Hi."

Shane was in the middle of a sneezing fit when Rebecca showed up at his door. Top had been home for a couple of weeks and one of her favorite places to sleep was curled up in the space between his shoulder and neck. He tried many different sleeping configurations - Recon and the kitten in the living room and him in the bed, or Recon with him in the bed - but nothing worked. Someone was unhappy unless they were all together. So Shane had given up and given in, and the kitten got to sleep where she wished. And he just dealt with the sneezing and swollen, itchy eyes. It wasn't the worst thing he'd ever dealt with in his life.

"Hi." He sneezed again.

"Bless you."

"Thank you."

“Kitten?"

He nodded as he blew his nose.

Rebecca showed him a pile of papers in her hand. "I have the new lease for you to review and sign."

He nodded. "Come on in. I'll look it over and sign it now."

Rebecca handed him the papers and immediately dropped to the ground on her knees to show Recon and the kitten some attention. Shane sat down on a bar stool at the small kitchen bar and began to read over the lease. It was standard - no real surprises. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Top turn upside down in front of Rebecca, her black-and-pink paw pads up in the air, batting a feather toy the landlady was holding.

"Top! You've already gotten so big!"

Shane hadn't expected it to happen so quickly, but he had fallen in love with that little rascal of a kitten. Yes, he had to load up on boxes of tissues and allergy medicine, but he didn't mind. Top was the funniest, sweetest little soul he'd ever encountered. And Recon and the kitten were best friends.