#host2

[transgendergrapeson]

What is it with Host Club Gravures & Black and Gold Chandelier Rooms?

So when I'm bored, I like to pull up HostxHost and look through special gravures for weird outfits and concepts. Don't even worry about it. What I want to call attention to is that for some reason, the one default Host Club Photoshoot Concept appears to be "gold and black, sometimes gold and red, room with chandeliers." It doesn't matter what style the hosts wear, it doesn't matter what season it is, nearly every major host club has one of these. Top Dandy, Acqua, RED, Trend, MUGEN, and so many other big name groups and clubs have one of these. Some of the photos I've included are from 2009. Where do they even find all these different gold and black chandelier room sets? Most of these aren't taken inside the club. Tumblr has limited me to 30 images. If you ask me for more, I will have more.

[random-racehorses]

Random Real Thoroughbred: GOLDEN HOST

GOLDEN HOST is a dark bay/brown gelding born in The United States in 1993. By RUHLMANN out of LANAS GOLD HOST. Link to their pedigreequery page: https://www.pedigreequery.com/golden+host2

[nyanzzu]

INTRO

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆┊ ┊ ★⋆┊ ◦★⋆ ┊ . ˚ ˚★

hai!!! ^^

new system blog!

this is a usdd blog; my personal jiraiblog is @fishbonemarrowxx

heres a little info ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

-this will be open to all my alters!! as of now, i don't know all of them. hopefully we can all get to know each other a little better with this.

-we have usdd, though i personally don't bother with details. there are other alters with more detailed understanding of our condition, but we are professionally diagnosed.

-we are traumagenic, and i(bone) am neutral on endos. i can't speak on the behalf of the others; ill update if it changes.

we talked it over; we're antiendo. endos dni.

-feel free to send any asks abt anything. this is a very new thing, tho, nd i think it might take a bit for all of us to accustom to it.

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆┊ ┊ ★⋆┊ ◦★⋆ ┊ . ˚ ˚★

ALTERS:

host: rad ; SHE/HER ;she doesn't have a sign off. she's the core, and kinda cool idk

co-host: franny ; SHE/HER ;uses 💕 and ❤️. she's a little and audhd. she's kinda annoying sry franny

co-host2: bee ; SHE/IT/XE; uses 🩰 or 🧦. she's also a little and honestly i don't think she'll rly post- but I don't know her well

main: five ; ANY PRONOUNS ; uses 🧩. he's nice

bone/minnow ; HE/SHE/THEY/IT ; i use 🎣 or sometimes 🦴. I'm the fucking best lolz, probably online most idk we've been switchg asf tho

atlas/valen ; HE/SHE/THEY ; uses 🦷 and👙i think. he's really quiet idk😭

vgag ; HE/THEY ; he doesn't like us i don't think, he doesn't sign off and kind of fuckign sucks man

tsubasa/nanika ; THEY/THEM ; idk

onodera ; HE/IT ; lmfao a punpun fictive idk him either

Aren ; He/Him; i use 💫! Nice to meet you!

those are all the guys I know 🤷‍♂️I tried to sound professional gigggle ....

lmao if any of you see this then feel free to edit it js don't change the actual stuff ifykwim... fuck you

IF YOURE NOT ON HERE, ADD YOURSELF PLEASE!!!! I HAVENT TALKED TO ANYONE SINCE RAD MADE THE SIMPLY PLURAL THING

everyone else... WELCOME LMFAO!!! idk what this will lead to but I'm kind of excited to see if anyone finds this- it'll also keep franny off my fucking account😭😭 send in asks and stuff idk!!!! thankies!!!

-🎣🦴

[phyllidaluna]

Headshot and realistic practice with some hosts on host2.jp. somehow I think they got a little worse as I went on? But this was good practice

[qcs01]

Managing Containerized Applications Using Ansible: A Guide for College Students and Working Professionals

As containerization becomes a cornerstone of modern application deployment, managing containerized applications effectively is crucial. Ansible, a powerful automation tool, provides robust capabilities for managing these containerized environments. This blog post will guide you through the process of managing containerized applications using Ansible, tailored for both college students and working professionals.

What is Ansible?

Ansible is an open-source automation tool that simplifies configuration management, application deployment, and task automation. It's known for its agentless architecture, ease of use, and powerful features, making it ideal for managing containerized applications.

Why Use Ansible for Container Management?

Consistency: Ensure that container configurations are consistent across different environments.

Automation: Automate repetitive tasks such as container deployment, scaling, and monitoring.

Scalability: Manage containers at scale, across multiple hosts and environments.

Integration: Seamlessly integrate with CI/CD pipelines, monitoring tools, and other infrastructure components.

Prerequisites

Before you start, ensure you have the following:

Ansible installed on your local machine.

Docker installed on the target hosts.

Basic knowledge of YAML and Docker.

Setting Up Ansible

Install Ansible on your local machine:

pip install ansible

Basic Concepts

Inventory

An inventory file lists the hosts and groups of hosts that Ansible manages. Here's a simple example:

[containers] host1.example.com host2.example.com

Playbooks

Playbooks define the tasks to be executed on the managed hosts. Below is an example of a playbook to manage Docker containers.

Example Playbook: Deploying a Docker Container

Let's start with a simple example of deploying an NGINX container using Ansible.

Step 1: Create the Inventory File

Create a file named inventory:

[containers] localhost ansible_connection=local

Step 2: Create the Playbook

Create a file named deploy_nginx.yml:

name: Deploy NGINX container hosts: containers become: yes tasks:

name: Install Docker apt: name: docker.io state: present when: ansible_os_family == "Debian"

name: Ensure Docker is running service: name: docker state: started enabled: yes

name: Pull NGINX image docker_image: name: nginx source: pull

name: Run NGINX container docker_container: name: nginx image: nginx state: started ports:

"80:80"

Step 3: Run the Playbook

Execute the playbook using the following command:

ansible-playbook -i inventory deploy_nginx.yml

Advanced Topics

Managing Multi-Container Applications

For more complex applications, such as those defined by Docker Compose, you can manage multi-container setups with Ansible.

Example: Deploying a Docker Compose Application

Create a Docker Compose file docker-compose.yml:

version: '3' services: web: image: nginx ports: - "80:80" db: image: postgres environment: POSTGRES_PASSWORD: example

Create an Ansible playbook deploy_compose.yml:

name: Deploy Docker Compose application hosts: containers become: yes tasks:

name: Install Docker apt: name: docker.io state: present when: ansible_os_family == "Debian"

name: Install Docker Compose get_url: url: https://github.com/docker/compose/releases/download/1.29.2/docker-compose-uname -s-uname -m dest: /usr/local/bin/docker-compose mode: '0755'

name: Create Docker Compose file copy: dest: /opt/docker-compose.yml content: | version: '3' services: web: image: nginx ports: - "80:80" db: image: postgres environment: POSTGRES_PASSWORD: example

name: Run Docker Compose command: docker-compose -f /opt/docker-compose.yml up -d

Run the playbook:

ansible-playbook -i inventory deploy_compose.yml

Integrating Ansible with CI/CD

Ansible can be integrated into CI/CD pipelines for continuous deployment of containerized applications. Tools like Jenkins, GitLab CI, and GitHub Actions can trigger Ansible playbooks to deploy containers whenever new code is pushed.

Example: Using GitHub Actions

Create a GitHub Actions workflow file .github/workflows/deploy.yml:

name: Deploy with Ansible

on: push: branches: - main

jobs: deploy: runs-on: ubuntu-lateststeps: - name: Checkout code uses: actions/checkout@v2 - name: Set up Ansible run: sudo apt update && sudo apt install -y ansible - name: Run Ansible playbook run: ansible-playbook -i inventory deploy_compose.yml

Conclusion

Managing containerized applications with Ansible streamlines the deployment and maintenance processes, ensuring consistency and reliability. Whether you're a college student diving into DevOps or a working professional seeking to enhance your automation skills, Ansible provides the tools you need to efficiently manage your containerized environments.

For more details click www.qcsdclabs.com

[prokopetz]

Depends on the platform, but the most common pre-@ variant used exclamation points rather than @ symbols, and also had the host and the recipient the other way 'round – for example, instead of "person@host", it would go "host!person". Since there was no universal Internet routing system back then, you'd often need to specify the full route to the recipient manually, resulting in addresses like "host1!host2!host3!person". Email addressing of this type was known as a "bang path", after the typesetters' slang of "bang" for an exclamation point.

(Fun trivia: since email addresses of this type were often used in university settings, the part before the exclamation point would most commonly be the name of a department, which often looked a bit like an adjective. This quirk of bang path routing has been fossilised in fandom culture in the practice of using "adjective!character" shorthand to describe AU versions of a particular character.)

I was exactly the right age at exactly the right transitional period in history to have been an unsupervised preteen on dial-up BBSes, Usenet, IRC, and first-generation web forums, more or less in that order, so all things considered I think I'm doing pretty well.

[wentzwu]

Nmap Syntax

Nmap 7.94SVN ( https://nmap.org )Usage: nmap [Scan Type(s)] [Options] {target specification}TARGET SPECIFICATION: Can pass hostnames, IP addresses, networks, etc. Ex: scanme.nmap.org, microsoft.com/24, 192.168.0.1; 10.0.0-255.1-254 -iL <inputfilename>: Input from list of hosts/networks -iR <num hosts>: Choose random targets --exclude <host1[,host2][,host3],...>: Exclude hosts/networks…

[archiveloudsoflove]

June 10th – Sad-turday Comforting

Lagi-lagi (again) gw nulis ini dalam rangka 1 (satu) tahun sejak gw berharap akan suatu hal. Ya, it’s called “ketenangan” jadi sebenernya tanggal 11 tahun lalu hari Sabtunya wkwk tp yaudalayea... Sesuai judulnya, di momen tersebut gw bener-bener menitikkan air mata

Jum’at sorenya, gw ngelihat ke atas sambil berharap “semoga, saat kembali ke rumah... saya bisa pulang, dengan tenang.” Harapan itu gw ucapkan berkali-kali... dan keesokan harinya (tl;dr) seperti hari=hari biasa, campur nano-asem-mixed banget (?) euyy. Ternyata nggak seberat yang dibayangkan gw kok, t e r n y a t a/ Mungkin emang gw lebih baik tawakkal dan banyak bersyukur aja kaliya

Ok ini pembukaannya wkwkwk, bridging (tp maksa bgt mff) ke topik inti... yea here’s the archive

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer:

For personal archive only. Do not take it srsly and/or no offense karena emang ini tulisan gw aj wkwk. Tulisan ini juga nggak berhubungan dengan sesuatu atau apapun, semua murni dari pengalaman gw

OK Let’s start!

Jadi, keknya gw tulis dulu ya tujuan gw nulis tulisan ini (ribet bgt bjirrr) yaa artinya itu lah wkwk. Bukan buat atensi keluar or apalah itu karena gw juga nyadar kalo gabakalan ada yg peduli juga........... yekhannn. Tapi, sebagai arsip (ya obvsly) dan... gw sadar kalau ini ternyata pelajaran... ya, gw belajar dengan nulis2 ini. Kalau orang biasanya belajar dari yg pahit2 eh gtw jugasik wkwk mff sotoi, ini gw juga belajar kalau ternyata, setiap hal yang ada di kehidupan bener-bener bisa diambil maknanya

Selain bermula dari gw nulis di tumblr ini, di mana memang ini arsip terkeren (mudah2an tumblr ga tutup) nanti mindahinnya repot euy, gw juga dulu sering banget nonton TV. Agak biasa ya... tapi emang kalau boleh jujur gw baru ngerasain nikmatnya dunia hiburan itu dr kelas 5 SDan. Sebelumnya, sempet nggak tahu mau ngapain jadi yaa main aja gitu ke rumah temen dll (musik DJ yiruma kiss the rain rmx)

Nahh dari nonton TV itulah gw ngerasa “ohh ini nih asupan hiburan gw” saking emg gabut juga kaliya wkwk ya gt deh. Pantesan gw juga jadi kacamataan giini :( tp gpp emang udah konsekwenzinya. Singkatnya, gw jadi tahu program TV dari 2008an-sekarang. Gak yang sampai seluruh program TV jugasikk, tapi gw paham perjalanannya kek tahun-ke-tahunnya yang laku itu apa, trennya, artis/host2 atau siapalah gt yang sering muncul di tipi gitu kurang lebih

Mungkin memang pas sekolah itu gw purely nonton aja as hiburan, bukan buat belajar wkwkk yakali ude sekola berjam2 ngapain nonton belajar lagi, pada saat itu. EH maksutnya abis sekolah yee duH gpentink mff. Jadi yang ditonton yaa acara2 musik aja kek dasyat inbox mantap oveje yks dsbdsb nahh banyak khan.... itu keknya udah termasuk variety show. Dan gw gak nonton acara2 reality yang macem kameramen-mobil-grasakgrusuk gt karena udah pusing duluan

Korelasinya? Nah ini diaa... gw pun pas mulai kuliah th 2016an juga masih nontonin acara2 itu. Meski emang udah gak intens ya, karena saat itu gw juga tergolong “anti-idealis” ke tipi yang masa kini itutuu yaa taulah ya. Bukan buat ngediss atw gimana juga, gw pun tetep nonton acaranya wkwk. Tapi yang gw komentarin dulu kek “dih apaansi kaku bgt” “elah mo ketawa pake mikir” karena emang acara2nye idealis bgt khan, ingin mengedu-kasih. Tapi gw rasa nggak ah, yg nonton tipi kek gw mah pengennya emang ketawa aj gapake mikir awkawkawk terlihat menyedihkan yh

Tapi, gw jadi belajar dengan melihat alur2 program acaranya. Terlepas dari gimmick/settingan yang digunakan di tipi2 (gw juga nggak peduli sama ginian), ternyata alurnya itu bener-bener ngebantu banget buat gw belajar interaksi as-professional or at least with orang asing yang memang ada keperluan untuk berbicara dengannya. Kalau gimik sama joget2 mah yaudee buat ketaawa2 aje atau ga gwnya main hape doang dengerin wkwk. Ada juga sikk acara yang emang sampis bgt sampe artisnya aja bingung ni arahnya mau kemanaaa sambil ???. ya gitu deh, emang gw akui ga semuanya bagus

“Terus, apa yang lu pelajari dong tan dari media massa yang jadi konsumsi masyarakat ini?”

Ya, setidaknya gw belajar dengan salah satu acara variety/talkshow kaliya, jadi kek program sejenis tanya jawab dan... keknya emang semuanya dirancang buat tanya jawab dan ada tamu2 gitu dehya. Ntar juga dikasi gimmick kek lagi outing di mall/jalan/apalah2 terus sambil nanya2, jadi yaa sama aja isinya ngobrolll/interaksi tadi. Kecuali gameshow kaliya, mungkin ada tapi dikit porsinya

Gw mempelajari bagaimana host2nya bertanya, dan bagaimana tamunya menjawab... keknya itu poin pentingnya. Pertanyaan2 itu bisa aja didaur ulang sehingga bumi ini makin hijau-gdenk, tapi jawaban2 tamunya? Nahh ini dia kalau kata orang “tantangannya” alias susahnye wkwk ribet bgt jaman skarang pake tantangan2 siape coba yg mau nantangin lo. Gak semua tamu bakal ngasih jawaban sesuai dengan yang diinginkan acara tsb... inilah yang gw pahami tentang naik-turunnya popularitas & program TV

Gw inget semuanya, mulai dari halo pakabar – kesibukan / kegiatannya apa-yuk kita main games/anothergimmick-sampai pada akkhirnya, “kira2 apa nih harapannya buat ke depan” udah itu2 aja. Paling yaa dihubung2in dikit sama profil/peristiwa yang terkait dengan tamu atau tema programnya, itupun kalo ada yaa wkwk karena gasemuanya ngasih ini. Ada juga kok acara tipi yang keknye emang buang2 duit aja, kamera nyorot kemaana2 sambil narasi udah gw juga gangerti wkwk

Pola2 itu gw coba pelajari berulang-ulang, karena emang gitu2 aja kan. Tapi, poinnya adalah bagaimana pola tersebut disesuaikan dengan yang tadi, yaitu tamu or peristiwa or tujuan dari program/kegiatan yang diadakan.  Hampir semua program yang gw temukan mirip2 kek gitu, jadi adaa aja dikait2in sama tamunya, meski yaa terkadang emang suka “ngorek2” gitu yaa... mending artisnye yang gw tahu lah sekarang siapa aja bisa masuk tipiii wkwk males bet mending w buka tanyarl

“Ohh jadi tanya jawab itu ya, emang pengaruhnya apa sih tan dari tontonan2 itu?”

Pertama, gw jadi berani nulis ini... wkwkwk awalnya gw emang ngakuin kalo gamudah ngutarain yg ada di kepala ini. Takut gapenting lah itulah tp emang kadang gapenting juga sik. Setelah gw belajar dari “pola tivi” ini, bisa gw runutkan dan terkadang ada juga kok program yang emang gagal di hari itu, dan dibahas mulu wkwk. Jadi gw bisa sekalian belajar di situ

Konkritnya, pengaruh pola2 ini buat gw adalah... gw jadi bisa nyusun pertanyaan untuk wawancara, bisa bridging (dikit2), gimana caranya biar interaksinya dua arah... dan yang paling penting adalah bisa menghargai orang lain yang sedang berbicara. Iya, setidaknya meski emang ga 100 persen sempurna - gw bisa menerapkan hal itu. Seneng banget ketika bisa nanya harapan orang ke depannya, karena gaada yang tahu kan siapa aja yang denger dan ngedoain? Dari sinilah gw bener2 belajar dari apa yang gw dapatkan, yang gw lihat, dan gw rasakan (hasek) yaa gt deh

Selain itu, gw juga mempelajari bagaimana sikap perilaku dll dan semuanya dari kebutuhan industri tivi untuk kehidupan. Gw pun sadar kalau gak semua orang aware dengan hal ini, tapi setidaknya dengan tulisan ini bisa jadi arsip kalau tontonan TV dan dunia nyata pastinya ada bedaaa sribu persen. Jadi emang gaboleh dimakan mentah2 info yang diterima yah, apalagi kite gatau kan kalo kamera udah dimatiin apa aja yang mereka lakukan di sana. Jadi tetep pilah2 informasi, dan sesuaikan dengan kebutuhan

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Ok sekian dulu yh tulisan sribu kata ini WKWK elah kepanjangan mulu w klo nulis. Tapi gapapa, dari sekian banyak arsip inilah salah satu yang paling nyata dan riil mint buat gw karena bener-bener based on experience meskipun gw tahu ini emang kaga penting2 bangeet

Setiap orang bisa menemukan cara belajarnya masing2; termasuk gw, belajar dari melihat orang lain, mengamati orang lain, dan menentukan langkah bagi pribadi berdasarkan hasil pengamatan, bukan perlakuan secara langsung

June 10th, 2023

[id-never-letyoudown]

Wilford is one of the few ppl Host just can't quite get a read on

Which means Wilford can and has yanked off his bandages, shouted "Release the kraken!" And then been assaulted by dozens of pissed off tentacles, left with sucker marks in his skin and a dumb grin on his face because Host had made the silliest sound while it was happening

Fcker

[kaiasky]

If I wanted confidentiality, maybe I'd care about HTTPS. But I don't, and if someone else does, they can acquire it themselves. My site does not need HTTPS.

oh yes sure instead of updating your site to use TLS you can just let everyone else use a VPN. this is a useful solution to our problems instead of just end to end encryption between host1 and host2

None of those things are my problem. If people don't want to see my site with random trash inserted into it, they can choose not to access it through broken and/or compromised networks.

oh right famously the internet gives end users a LOT of control over how their packets are routed. famously i go through and i click on a little map how i want the packet switching to work and shrimply avoid any nodes i dont want.

If your government is actively hostile to your communications, overthrow it

lol

Feel like the ultimate question of web deployment is "does this even need to be an application" and part of the reason everyone hates web developers is that the answer *would* be no in most cases if not for a whole bunch of dynamic content that no one who visits the website actually wants.

if you didnt have ads and trackers and banners and email signup popups and comments sections full of spam and trolls, you'd just be serving some text with images 99.999% of the time and none of the webdev gack would be necessary. You only gamble on the added bloat paying for itself despite the massive added bandwidth cost because otherwise the amount you're getting paid is "zero"

[sada-no-seitaikaibou]

The awkward moment that you’re browsing through Host2 and one of your best friends is on there …..

…… and you had NO clue that they were even doing that

I guess that’s better than walking into the club and finding out but still

[snowberrydream]

Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023

Here is an english translation/transcript of Käärijä’s appearance on Finnish talk show Puoli seitsemän for the enjoyment of all the non-finnish Käärijä & Eurovision fans. I have no clue how to screenrecord videos or put subtitles on them, but I can offer you a written translation :D (if someone has access to the video and can do that, feel free to use the translation if you want to, just tag me if you do, please). If there’s anything confusing or weird, comment or message me and I’ll try to clarify it 

So here it goes, enjoy!

Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023

(hosts talking about generic beginning-of-the-show-stuff, introducing Käärijä)

host1: Today we are having a party, holding onto pina coladas with both hands (handing out drinks). These are non-alcoholic, I assume it’s fine by you?

Käärijä: Absolutely. It’s probably for the better. This time.

host2: And it’s tasty! You can try both of them.

K: Is this green one also a pina colada? (tastes)

hosts: Ummmm (unsure noises) we are also curious to know (laugh) But hey, glad you could come amidst all the hustle! You’ve been all over like a … a pina colada.

K: (sipping his drinks) (chuckles at the metaphor). Exactly. Happy to be here, thank you for inviting me. And amazing that we have these [pina coladas] here. I actually haven’t really drunk these that much, so thank you for this!

H1: They’ve gotten a lot more popular lately, the sales have gotten up. Have you heard about that?

K: Well yeah, yeah I’ve been told that there has been some empty shelves.

H1: Green yarns sold-out, green fabrics sold-out, (H2: green nailpolish too), pina coladas…

K: It’s indeed quite a circus that I’ve managed to create, but well, (shrugs) why not.

H2: And this is only the beginning, isn’t it?

K: That’s what I’m a bit scared of, really (laughs). That what else will people come up with?

H2: Right now you surely don’t have time for days-off, but when you do get to relax a bit, what do you like to do?

K: I think I’ll just snuggle underneath my Formula1 -sheets, take a little nap and think about absolutely nothing, if one is really able to do that. Or watch some series or listen to some relaxing music. But probably just be in silence.

H1: Yeah, there was a couple moments before the broadcast started, like a half a minute of quiet in the studio. You had like this serene smile on your face.

K: Yeah, I was enjoying that (laughs). I mean I of course like talking with you, too. But, when you are constantly surrounded by thousands of people, at some point it just starts to feel like you need a bit of your own space. As much as we humans are pack animals [=like and need others], too much is too much.

H2: (agreeing hums) Do you know how to take that own space when you need it?

K: Not always. Though I’ve been trying to learn to say no to things. I used to be really bad at doing that, worrying that what if I’ll upset someone etc. But now I’ve been learning, also because of this [Eurovision] that sometimes it’s just …Too bad, I just can’t do that now. That I just need to take that space (moment of realization) …And yet I still don’t have it (laughs). But, on the other hand, some things you just have to get done, and then you’ll take care of those. So… Let’s just hope that everything will go smoothly.

H1: The contest itself is about two and a half weeks away, but there has already been pre-parties all over Europe, getting people into the Eurovision spirit.

H2: Yes, let’s see how it was in London about a week ago. (cue a clip of Käärijä’s performance & fan interactions from London, Cha Cha Cha playing in the background)

(back to studio, hosts and Käärijä jumping and dancing before sitting down again)

hosts: You just can’t stay still while listening to that.

K: Even I joined in too.

H2: So much for resting.

K: Yeah, there it goes again (laughs). When I could’ve just been like (slouches on the sofa) for once.

H1: It happens to everyone! It just pulls you in, it’s such a banger.

K: Yeah, it’s quite enegetic. Though I’ve also tried to not listen to it a little bit, so that it doesn’t become completely (gun to the head -gestures). But I hear it all the time anyway. Everywhere (flailing hands).

H2: So, pre-parties all over Europe. How did you feel about those?

K: Damn good, foremost. It was so amazing to see people singing along to a finnish song. Hadn’t really even imagined that something like that could happen. Met wonderful people there, such amazing personalities, and the mood was great. It really felt like a family, everyone cheering for each other and no like, any disturbances, like what could sometimes happen in an ordinary gig, you know. Really great. I’m glad I went. At first I thought that I wouldn’t go at all (H2: to Eurovision, or…?) – No, no! I meant the pre-parties (H2: Ah, yes) so that I could rest, because they can be quite …demanding. Lots of interviews, travelling, waiting around and so on… And then during Madrid trip I also got sunburnt …roasted my skin a little (laughs) Oh well, I’ll have a bit of a tan now, no burns any longer. But overall it was really good, though also tough.

H1: So you keep a professional attitude about it all? Like, ’this is work, not partying, focus on the job’?

K: Keep focus on the job, yeah. You always aim for a win. Of course you must also remember to enjoy the experience, but the attitude is still like ”See you at the Market Square [= for victory celebrations], all of Finland”. I’d feel so quilty if I’d be just drinking and partying around amid all this, I might never forgive myself.

H2: People have been fitting the victor’s mantle on you [=predicting him to win] already. And on Sweden’s Loreen, whom we saw briefly in the video clip. How do you feel about the pressure of being a fan favorite?

K: I don’t really take pressure about it. In a way. I mean of course I feel like …I have that pressure, but, I haven’t really understood it, It hasn’t quite sunk in yet, because I’m just running from one place to another all the time. I haven’t had time to be stressed about the H-hour, because there is still so much happening before that. I don’t think that quite a panic alarm moment (slamming gesture) will happen before the contest, but some level of nervousness will probably still hit me, as it did in the UMK. But the moment you get on the stage, it’s quite an easy case from there on, in the end.

H1: Right. But hey, here we are, holding on to our drinks with both hands, but you’d actually need a third one, as you have also a cup of tea there in front of you.

K: Yes, and also a cup of water on top of that.

H1: For some voice maintenance, right?

K: Yes, as you can probably hear, my voice has taken some damage [he is sounding a little hoarse occasionally] but let’s hope it’ll get better before the contest. You wouldn’t want to attend with a voice like this.

H1: Yeah, but let’s not be too worried for now, as there is still time left.

K: Luckily there is. And we’ll make some more if we have to.

H2: Right. So, you’ll leave on Sunday?

K: On Sunday, yes. You all will be here celebrating May Day, while I’ll be packing my funnel cakes and mead with me and taking off to Liverpool.

H1: The fan phenomenon has caught everyone by surprise. It’s… I assume it has surprised you, surely it has surprised all of Finland, maybe Europe too. I mean, it’s massive!

K: Right. It’s awesome. It’s kinda funny, all the things this has lead into and like, the kind of people that have sent me messages. Like, world-class artists even from abroad and so on. It’s strange how at some point nothing feels like anything anymore. I mean, when you don’t have time to enjoy it, like getting good news about one thing, because another thing is already happening right after. And then comes another thing, and another and another and another. Because every day there is something new, cool and fun happening to me at the moment. I haven’t had time… - I’ve really had no time to properly process any of what I’ve been given. I’ve just, gone somewhere to do stuff and then been off to the next place already and been like ’ok you do that I do this’ (delegating gestures) and so on. I hope that at some point I’ll get some time to think about all that has happened. Of course I’ve enjoyed this, but…maybe not in a way that people might assume? It hasn’t been just living on cloud nine all the time, for real. Even though this is what I’ve wanted, and wanted to get my music out there here in Finland, and, now it seems to be happening in Europe and elsewhere too, so yeah…

H2: Fans have been running after you and so on… Apparently there has been some extreme reactions even? Someone had…?

K: Yeah, one person fainted.

H1: Where did this happen?

K: In Madrid (H2: so they saw you?). Yes. And… They all behaved really well, like, in Finland people just take pics and whisper to each other, but there – they’ll run after you. It’s really a shocking feeling when you step out the door and everyone starts screaming and (running gesture) they are running and then we are running (laughs). But, it’s not like …If you said no to something that they asked for, they were really respectful and nice about it [despite the enthusiasm].

H2: So, someone just saw you and just, simply couldn’t handle the shock?

K: Yeeahh. Though, sometimes I can barely handle it either, when I see myself in the mirror (laughs) (hosts laughing).

H1: The Käärijä hype is intensifying indeed. But, let’s add to that a bit more with the following clip.

(Videoclip about a family of real Käärijä superfans, where the mom had made Käärijä’s Cha Cha Cha costumes for her three sons and even the family dogs. the boys are dancing and talking about how much they like Käärijä)

H1: They are really rooting for you.

H2: Aww, such sweet boys.

K: So cool.

H2: They really got it down, dance moves and all.

K: Yeah, I’m speechless, honestly. Like, amidst all this there’s little time to pay attention to what is happening around you in the world. And then there’s kids like that… It’s truly amazing thing, thank you to them, really. All the best to them. And the parents too, truly tipping my hat to them for like, for doing all that for the kids. I remember back when I played ice hockey, it was my parents made it happen for me too, taking care of things so that I got to play. And now those boys want to be Käärijäs. Just, lots of love to the whole family. [He seemed to be quite touched about this clip. Either that or he just happens to struggle with his voice a bit right then, sounding a little quivering for a sec]  

H1: Exactly. So. Käärijä is Jere and Jere is Käärijä, is that the way it goes? Are you still just Jere for those closest to you, or is everyone calling you Käärijä by now?

K: Ahhh, well, mom is calling me Käärijä now (H2: okay). I’ve had to sometimes tell her to stop it already, or that else I’ll adopt myself into a new family to have someone who calls me Jere (laughs). Just kidding, really, she’s just proud and excited about all this. But I hear it a lot, this Käärijä stuff. It can get a little dull, because sometimes you’d just like to forget this work stuff, when you are at home etc. and talk about other things than Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha and music. Sometimes it makes me wonder like, …what have I gotten myself into?

H2: A phenomenon has been born, indeed. Well,  we asked for you to bring some pics from your home album, and you brought these two (pics of him as a kid behind a drum kit and him in his late teens wearing hospital pj’s appear on the screen). There they are… You could tell us a little about them yourself.  (H1: a little drummer boy). A little rookie instrumentalist there. A little drummer boy, yes.

K: (looking at the pic) Yeah, I’ve enjoyed banging drums since I was little. My brother played guitar and we watched some Fröbelin Palikat [a finnish kid’s music band], used kettles as drums and and, brother had this weird thingy as a guitar.  Then at some point I got my own drums, started drum lessons and eventually even taught my classmates at school how to play. My teacher assigned that task for me. But that career didn’t last, in the end. Wasn’t quite that interested in drums after all, I guess. But that’s where my sense of rhythm and all comes, surely. And anyway, where would you put those things in a small flat? Banging them in some apartment building, you’ll get evicted in a second. But, drums are still close to my heart and whenever I get the chance I do grab the sticks and see if I’m still any good at playing them.

H1: And then, how about the second pic (of him in a hospital cafeteria or some common area, sitting by a table filling lottery coupons)

K: Right, that’s an interesting one. I got sick with Colitis ulcerosa, I think that was the latin name for it. And well, I think that was taken around the time it was at it’s worst.

H2: So it’s a bowel disease?

K: Yes, my entire colon got inflamed eventually and I ended up needing an emergency operation to remove it quickly, to prevent the inflammation from spreading to other parts of the body. I was hanging by a thread, honestly. I wasn’t even going to go [to the hospital] at first, but dad forced me and dragged me in there. Packed up some The Simpsons movies and my pillow and was like ’we are going now, son’ and… yeah. Honestly the shittiest time of my life, not wishing that for anyone. But it did also make me grow a lot as a person, and I wouldn’t change anything for myself, I’m totally okay with this. I’m alive, in the situation that I’m in now, and it changed who I am. Of course I have things where to improve even now, but it took me forward at the time, regarding my values and such, I think I’m in quite a good place now. (back to describing the pic) I went to place some bets [the lottery coupons] to pass time, there wasn’t anything else to do. Friends or my brother sometimes came to watch ice hockey from TV with me while I was laying in the hospital.

H2: You are wearing hospital clothes in the pic. Did you spend long periods of time in there?

K: I was there for like two weeks at a time. Went there every now and then, had an IV drip and laid there, had some medication and such. But in the end the treatments didn’t work and had to have the surgery, remove the colon completely. So, yeah. But, it’s a thing that happened to me and one just has to learn – and I have learned – to live with it. It won’t destroy your world if a thing like that does happen, on the contrary, it can open some new doors, that’s how I try to view it. But again, wouldn’t wish that for anyone, or anything like it. Yeah. That was a tough time. Made a young guy think about stuff, how others are out there partying, going to festivals and all that, and I didn’t get to have that. It went on for about a year, and towards the end I just laid in bed. I couldn’t go anywhere because I’d be just shitting blood in my pants right away etc. I was just, bumping into doors, barely able to stay on my feet, so…

H2: And a year is a long time in a young person’s life.

K: It was, yes. I had to drop everything. All the sports I did back then. I was really into going to the gym at the time, had certain goals I wanted to achieve and was working towards them. They aren’t important any longer, guess they weren’t even back then, really, but it did hit me hard at the time, when I lost 10 kg, from that kind of body (H2: woah). I weighed 49 kg at the worst point, hemoglobin about 54, or 56.

H2: Rough numbers, truly.

K: Yeah, it wasn’t healthy at all, I was pale as a sheet. In that pic I’m actually still looking surprisingly fresh. Yeah, I was just skin and bones.

H1: And does the disease still affect your life today?

K: Well, of course in the way that I have to go to the bathroom more often, 7 or 8 times a day on average. But I’m used to it, it’s not an issue for me. I can hold it in – so, rest easy there on the other side of the camera, no need to worry that something might happen mid-performance …Well let’s knock on wood just in case – But otherwise, not really… well, I can’t eat spicy food anymore. That will surely destroy my mood and the pipes, so to speak. So there are some things, but I’ve lived with this for so long already that it’s just normal for me.

H2: Surely. Bit of a balancing act.

H1: Hey, you spoke earlier about how people want to talk a lot [about you], and we want to talk and everyone wants to talk about Eurovision, and how it would be great to speak about anything else, even about the weather. But now! Now we’ll talk about it!

H2: Yes, let’s watch the clip first, about a very fundamental question.

(a videoclip of interviewing people abouth whether winters used to be better in your childhood than they are nowadays :D Conclusion: it’s more a matter of childhood nostalgia and personal memories than anything else)

H1: Soo, Jere. Were the winters better back when you were a kid?

K: Well, yeah. Especially now that I’m thinking about all the memories connected to them. I liked snowboarding/downhill skiing [unclear which one he means] a lot back then, and i do feel that there was more snow and it came earlier, but of course my memories might be faulty and in reality we were just skidding on bare ground. But yeah, I have a feeling there used to be more snow and outdoor ice rinks and chances to build snow castles and things like that.

H2: Yeah, you must’ve been familiar with the ice rinks, since you played ice hockey for many years, right?

K: Yes, though with little success. But yeah, I did go swat the puck for a time.

H2: That looks quite proper to me (looking at pics of him in a hockey match).

K: Well, I’ve got the gear on and the puck in my control, so that helps (laughs).

H1: I gathered that you played quite many positions?

K: Yeah, I did go through them all, but none of them was my thing, in the end. But I have very fond memories from my hockey days, too. Though it was also like banging your head to a wall sometimes, too. That either wasn’t just sunshine and rainbows all the time. Very hard training at one point, and from there it swung to the other end when I was mainly just fiddling around. Like, training once a week and then playing a match. But yeah, spent a lot of time at ice halls.

H2. Yes, and speaking of halls. It was on the news today that your iconic green bolero has now been frozen and hoisted up to the ceiling of Helsinki Ice hall rink.

K: Yes, there it hangs now. Up there it went.

H2: An honorary gesture for the shirtless rager. To cheer you on.

K: Yes, my thanks for them all, too. And we’ll have a gig there at the hall in May also, so it was really cool of them to come up with such event. I guess they wanted to wish me luck and bring some joy to the people with a silly happening like that.

H1: And there’s also the positive side to it that it wont get lost from up there (chuckles).

K: Yes, it sure won’t. Unless someone finds a crane or something to get it. So I’m sure it’ll be waiting for me there.

H2: Your live performances are quite demanding physically. Do you think this (points at the hockey pic) laid the groundwork for that?

K: Yes, I’m sure of it. Like, thinking back to the time I was in hospital, I bounced back really fast and got back in good shape even though I was a total wreck after that one year. But when I got back to the gym and jogging trails I started putting weight and muscle back on quite soon. There is some, like, muscle memory to it. I can tell my sports background has it’s effect. That’s why I wish that also the youth of today would all have the chance to have hobbies. It’s not possible for everyone, but I wish it was, because it brings a lot of good, improves your health and brings new friends and so on.

H1: So then, like, most of us have only seen Cha Cha Cha from you at this point, but how are your usual gigs? How long and how physical are they typically?

K: About 45 min to an hour, around 12 or 13 songs a gig. And… yeah, they are quite a mayhem, even more than Cha Cha Cha is, some pretty fast-paced songs in there. You get to shriek and rage and run and hype the audience to your heart’s content.

H2: No wonder that your voice is a bit down, then. You aren’t holding anything back while on stage?

K: No, I think that if somebody has paid, whether it’s 5 euros or 50 euros for the ticket, I’ll give it my all every time. I don’t want the people to feel like I’m slacking off , came there to just collect some easy money, or that I’m not interested in being there. Because it is our shared experience, when the audience is there. I am not alone in there, but together with everyone, and it should be a party for all of us then.

H1: Of course. So, on Sunday you’ll be on the move, but before that a little time to rest, to spare yourself. You won’t be doing any gigs before the ESC anymore, right?

K: I won’t, no.

H1: Great. You’ll get your voice in top condition, yes?

K: Yes.

Hosts: (starting to wrap up the interview] But! BUT! Now, let’s put on some music, shall we? Just a couple little dance moves, pleeease. We can’t end this without a little Cha Cha Cha! So, good luck to you in Liverpool (K: thank you], but now, let’s head onto the dance floor (everyone running away from the sofas). Teach us some moves that everyone should know!

(chaotic Cha Cha Cha-ing ensues, until the hosts form a mini-piggytrain and Käärijä rides away from the camera view. The End.)

[lamyaasfaraini]

Day 20, your celebrity crush

30 days writing challenge

Ini adalah mas2 crush aku Vincent Rompies & Graham Coxon.

Aku tipe yang bukan fan girling bgt sih yah, dulu pernah mungkin wkt SD fan girlingin Westlife sampe ngoleksi VCD, poster dari majalah fantasi, stiker jg banyak haha. Abistu yaudah gapernah lagi..

Namun waktu itu kalogasalah kelas 2 SMA thn 2016, ada acara TV gitu di MTV, namanya MTV Bujang.. Host nya Vincent & Desta member band Club 80's pada wkt itu, anak indie anak pensi pasti tau sih bandnya yekaann.. Yaampun itu acara menghibur bgt konyol juga host2nya, jadilah acara tv kesayangan gapernah skip.. Tapi sayangnya acara itu ngga bertahan lama soalnya kena kasus penghinaan katanya, ya krn mereka bercandanya keterlaluan wkwk kocakkk.. Sedih dong acaranya slesei. Dari situ mulai lah ngefans bgt sama Vincent, jadi ngikutin bandnya jg deh, wkt itu Club 80's manggung di pensi SMAN 2 bdg (pada wkt itu pensi anak SMA bdg semegah itu coyyyy, keren pokonya). Happy bgt ktemu mas crush aku walapun dari jauh bgt, aku ada di row blkg. Ttp ya manggung jg ada aja yg bikin ketawa gimmick2 Vincent & Desta!

Dulu ngefans jg gmn, di tv jarang krn acara tv nya udah gaboleh tayang. Manggung jg jarang.. Tapi lama kelamaan Vincent muncul jadi host2 wlpn bukan acara tv yg besar2 tp aku ikutin namanya jg ngefans, acara tv sahur pernah jg tuh wkwk. Sampe akhirnya yg paling nama dia makin tenar ya Tonight Show, skrg malah makin sukses..

Dulu segala macem ttg Vincent dikepoin lah (yg pasti minim bgt krn belom terkenal bgt), termasuk fakta bahwa dia udah menikah muda sama penyiar radio di Jkt, patah hati dong! (ngapain patah hati ye?). Vincent berusaha bgt "melindungi" dan keep it privat smua ttg istri dan tau2 punya 3 anak laki2 ajalah pokonya. Kayanya baru skrg2 mulai mau spill dikit2 ttg istri dan anak2nya. So sweet.. Skrg terkenal bgt kalo dia seorang yg Family Man gitu, istrinya kalogasalah pacar kedua dan dia cuma pacaran sekali unch~

Wah ini nih style nya paling kusuka, entah pake apa aja asal dia yang pake tuh kaya udah pas aja gt, postur tubuh tinggi, badan ideal, kulit kuning langsat. Pokonya from top to toe selalu keren! Mau outfit manggung, kasual, formal kaya di tonight show semuanya sedap dipandang. Duh ya ini emg seleraku jadi mungkin agak subjektif yah wkwkwk. Ya pada akhirnya aku bisa liat dia secara langsung secara dekat wkt sama2 jadi penonton di konser Suede. Sumpah ini deg2an bgt ktemu mas crush, foto bareng sedeket itu.. Lutut bergetar, aduh ganteng bgt aslinya! Oiya, dan akupun sedikitnya tau ttg selera musiknya makanya nonton Suede ya pastinya suka britpop an lah ya. Blur juga dia suka bgt, dia ngefans bgt sama bassistnya (sesama bassist sih ya), Alex James, kadang style nya pun jadi inspirasinya.

Beralih ke yg internasyenel, Graham Coxon! Walapun nge crush nya tahun 2013 sebelum konser ke Indo, tp aku udah tau sosoknya wkt video klip Coffee & Tv booming thn 2000an brp ya lupa. Wah band apani? sapani vocalistnya (disangkainnya vocalist wkt itu soalnya dia yg ngisi vocalnya. Pdhl dia guitarist) ganteng amat, geek2 bloon pake kacamata tebel gmn gitu haha! Begitulah awalnya, thn 2012-2013 lagi suka bgt dengerin band britpop cem Arctic Monkeys, Oasis, ya Blur lah paling masuk. Dari album pertama sampe terakhir aku dengerin, makin suka pula sama Bapack Graham ini, jadi gitaris aja ko jenius bgt gt enak2 musiknya. Segala film dokumenter tentang Blur mau tahun 1992, tahun 2009 yg stelah bubar semua ngikutin.. Jujurlyyyyy wkt masih mudanya i found him very attractive gitu drpd skrg ya mungkin menua jg but i still like him anyway terakhir mengagumi karyanya wkt ngisi scoring dan soundtrack series Netflix, The End of the Fxxxing World 2 season, salah satu series dark jokes fav aku! Well done, Sir Gra!

Style Graham Coxon pun aku suka, si penyuka stripey tees bgt. Walaupun dia pake glasses dgn frame yg tebel ngga bikin dia terlihat kutu buku.. Malah jadi iconic aja gitu ciri khasnya.

Waktu konser Blur thn 2013, setelah war tiket gakebagian.. Ternyata masih rejeki mantannya temenku ngejual tiket Blur yg presale harganya 750rb wkt itu tiket konser termahal yg pernah aku beli, katanya dia gabisa dtg jd dijual.. Alhamdulillah wkwk. Hari H berharap double combo pasti Vincent dtg kan bisa liat dia lg dan Gra secara lsg. Taunya ngga ktemu lah sama Vincent, udah jelas ya dia pasti penonton prioritas dan pst di VIP scr itu band kesayangannya. Yah sudah lah mari menikmati Blur terutama Gra yg wkt itu pake t-shirt pink lusuh ttp pake hat nya. Lemes shaayyy bisa kesampean nonton band legend yg personelnya udah 50tahunan. Walapun di kelas fest aku dpt spot ditengah dan itu spot perfect bgt, kaya liat konser di Youtube tp secara langsung! Bener2 mind blowing~

Dulu ngefans bgt bgt sama kedua org ini, skrg suka sewajarnya aja haha.. Karena skrg udah punya "Vincent" gadungan yg bisa aku liat setiap saat.. Dia adalah suamiku @sagarmatha13 mayanlah si ganteng versi aku wkwk. Tp knp dia selalu ngaku mirip vincent sih? Padahal mirip kenang mirdad wkwk.. Pengakuannya sih ada 2 eh 3 org gt ya? yg blg dia mirip vincent.. Hemm jgn geer ah!

[wingedcatgirl]

#i place all my bets on ffxiv #heard ''realm's most famed hero'' and ''random smug weirdo'' in the same sentence

Well, you're right on the first count, but the random smug weirdo is not Emet-Selch and in fact has nothing to do with XIV at all

Though now that you point it out we definitely see the similarities...

sometimes a family is the realm's most famed hero, her medicated zombie daughter, a random card game nerd they adopted because their bio parents died/vanished, a smug weirdo that showed up one day out of goddamn nowhere, at least three alternate versions of the hero, and a bird who almost destroyed the universe before the hero made her get therapy

(some of these aren't ocs but they're still part of the family 😝)

very valid! a good family!

[k-u-r-a-g-e]

Hi Ari! First of all I wanted to thank you for keeping the kabukiboys blog up even if you don't update it anymore, it is still very useful and very interesting to read even for those of us who don't live in Japan. I do appreciate a lot all the hard work you put into that blog and all the good advice you gave regarding the host world. I am also glad to see you seem to be doing well, I really hope you are living a happy life nowadays :)

Regarding my question, let me provide you with some context. I hadn't checked your host blog (well, tumblr as a whole) for a few years and the other day I came back to your blog and started reading all the posts from oldest to newest and something caught my attention, so I wanted to ask you your opinion if you don't mind (if you decide to reply to me I would be very thankful if you reply privately). A few years ago I saw a couple of posts in which people were asking about adding hosts to LINE and you mentioned that they probably won't reply to you if they think they don’t have a use for you and it is less probable if they are in the numbers or really popular (which makes perfect sense). Those asks caught my attention, but since I have never lived in Japan and my only intention was to admire the hot guys from afar, I forgot about it because it was not like I would message them and intend to meet them, if anything I would follow them on Instagram and add them to LINE to check their status and I thought that no one would ever notice me on LINE.

So back in the day I had a huge crush on Ichijou Hikaru (I don't know if you remember this guy, he was at Radio, then DARLIN, now he is the kaichou of several clubs belonging to the BJ Group) and I started following him on Instagram when he had like 4000 followers. This guy: https://www(.)host2(.)jp/shop/blackdiamond01/hikaru/index.html After a while, in 2017, I decided to add him to LINE because I wanted to check his status updates in the shadows. I did not message him, just added him, I thought that, since he seemed to be so popular, he probably had tons of contacts in LINE and he wouldn't notice another gaijin appearing out of nowhere, but not even a couple of hours later he messaged me with a text emoji with a confused face and I freaked our because I thought he felt like I had crossed some boundaries I shouldn't have crossed, and I don't even speak more than a few words of Japanese. I asked a friend for help and messaged him back telling him sorry for adding him, that I did not speak Japanese, that I was following him on Instagram and I just wanted to check his LINE but that I did not want to disturb him, and he messaged me back saying: 連絡してくれるのだけで嬉しいで す! 是非お会いしたい! I don't remember the whole conversation, unfortunately now I only have a couple of screenshots I sent my friend back in the day to help me reply, but he was very polite and he knew I was not in Japan (I was in Korea back then) but I had told him that I wanted to visit Japan soon, and despite knowing that he never asked me to go to his club.

Back at that time I was surprised and excited because he talked to me, but I did not give it a second thought and just guessed he talked to all his female contacts in LINE. But this week, after reading again those Asks about adding hosts to LINE and messaging them and how they might not reply to you and that it is harder to hear from them if they are popular, I was wandering... maybe I was wrong and he was not that popular? I mean, I know the clubs from AIR Group were popular and expensive back in the day, but I don't know how high or low were the hosts from DARLIN in the whole popularity ranking. I guess that is something that only the people who have enough experience in Kabukicho can know.

Is it possible that I had a distorted perception of his popularity and he was not as popular as I thought and maybe that is why he messaged me in LINE after I added him? Because otherwise it doesn't even make sense for him to message some random gaijin who simply added him to LINE and did not even message him, right? (I don't even look rich, I never wear clothes or accessories from expensive brands) It is not something relevant nowadays, it is just that after re-reading yours posts this week I realized it did not make sense for him to message me at all, so I am a bit perplexed by it now. Sorry for the long message, I just wanted to provide as much context as possible. Whether you reply or not, thanks again for all the hard work you've put into your blog and thanks for sharing so much useful information with us :) Have a wonderful day!

Thank you so much for your kind message!

He was quite popular back in the day, but by 2017 I feel he was already sort of “old news”. That said, he’s a professional, and LINE notifies when someone adds you. It makes sense that he might reach out to at least check on who you are/scope out a potential customer!

I think what I meant by popular hosts won’t respond, is that they won’t continue conversation or forge a friendship with you if they know it’s not going to be useful to them.

[canmom]

Zachtronics made another programming game - this time about distributed parallel assembly programming, which is basically programming but without all the tools that you use to make programming not super hard.

Your compute units are these little robot things which can navigate a network, but each one only has two registers + an array pointer, and they only have two buses to communicate - one local to a node, and one global. Also, reading from the bus always clears it. So most of the challenge of the game is figuring out how to get your ‘EXAs’ to talk to each other in the right order, without grabbing a message intended for a different EXA. The rest is trying to juggle more information than you have space for!

As it turns out, that’s really fun. And I enjoyed the whole hackers theme a lot; the story was tropey but neat.

This game isn’t nearly as amenable to cool-looking GIFs as Infinifactory was, but I thought this one - my solution to the final level - was neat! And I wanted to talk about it, not because it’s a particularly unique solution to the level but just to illustrate how this game is to play.

What it’s like to solve an EXApunks level

In this level you have to get the hostnames and values of the ‘hardware registers’ (the #NERVs) and sort them. The problem is that you have no foreknowledge of the layout of the network (it’s different in each run), and in each node, the only way to discover outgoing links is to try them and see if your EXA dies.

So the first problem is to get the register values back to your local host, then you need to sort them. Each host in the tree can be linked to up to four other hosts, with the connection values 3, 1, -1 or -3. The only thing I know is that if you go to a host with a link X, then the link back is always -X.

My first approach was to send out exas to just spread through the network and report the hostnames and register values to the global bus. The algorithm would go:

an EXA would arrive in a node with the link to the previous node in its X register

for each of the sequence of 3, 1, -1, -3 it would test if that value is equal to X; if it’s not, it would copy that value to its T register and spawn a duplicate EXA

each spawned EXA would link the value in its T register, then multiply it by minus one and copy it to its X register, then jump to the previous step

And it was cool! The EXAs would spread out in a wave and soon I’d have one EXA on every node. The EXAs could check if there’s a #NERV hardware register; if there wasn’t, trying to copy from it would kill the EXA. Then they’d copy the hostname and #NERV value to the global bus.

The problem was that if two exas happened to take the same time to reach a host - for example if one EXA went down a path 3, 1, and another went down a path 1, 3 - they’d be reporting back at the same time, and their results would get unpredictably mixed up. So instead of writing down

host1, -53, host2, -40

I’d end up getting something like

host1, host2, -53, -40

or worse have them mixed up further, with no reliable way to tell what I got.

So I resorted to a new plan: now I’d send out the EXAs in a wave to map out the network, and then walk back up the tree. I spent a lot of time trying to work out a way to make each EXA take a unique amount of time to report back, but couldn’t think of anything that would work.

So then I settled on the solution above. Now, each EXA when it arrives at a new host creates a file and writes three of 3, 1, -1, -3, skipping over the one in its X register.

Then, for each value in its file, it would spawn an EXA which would try linking that number, then if it survived, immediately link back and report to the local bus. The first EXA would test if anything is reporting on the local bus; if nothing does, it would delete that entry from its file. The spawned EXA would then go forward again, and start exploring its node.

The result was that I ended up with an EXA in each host with a list of links to the next hosts in its file - essentially a distributed map of the network.

The question then was, how could I get this information back to my own host?

At first I thought about having each ‘leaf’ host - hosts with no further outgoing links - copy down its values and then go back up a level of the tree and copy its values to the local bus. The waiting EXA on the next level up would wait for all its ‘children’ to report back, then append its own host data and go back up to the previous level. I’d ‘contract’ in a way that followed my earlier ‘expansion’.

The problem was that the logic for counting down all the returning ‘children’ got very complicated, and there was a danger that another child would return while in the middle of copying down one child’s data, which would mess everything up. Also, all the data would have to get copied several times over.

Then I considered having each non-leaf EXA, after spawning its children, go to each child’s node and copy down the information there. The logic once again got very complicated - I can’t remember at what point I abandoned that method.

Finally I hit on the idea of having a second EXA at the start wait a certain amount of time to allow the other EXAs to map out the tree, then follow the map around to visit each host.

Each EXA would copy down the hostname and #NERV value if it existed, then seek back to the beginning of their file, and start copying it to the local bus. It didn’t have to have any logic except to copy its X value (containing the link back to the previous node) after it reached the end of its file! The ‘followup’ EXA would arrive at a host, and if it was given a number, it would follow that link; if it received a string token, it would copy down the two values and then link the node it was given.

Before this ‘followup’ EXA sets out, it spawns a second EXA which puts the value -1000 on the local bus. When the ‘followup’ EXA arrives home, it knows that because it received the value -1000 that it’s home, and can move on to sorting.

So first the map nodes spread out into the tree, then the followup EXA uses the map to visit every node, then returns to the host... it turned out to be surprisingly simple!

Then the followup EXA sorts the list of hostnames and #NERV values by bubble sort (since I figured it would be easiest to implement in fewest lines of code, and speed wasn’t that important). Bubble sort was slightly fiddly because I had to use another EXA as a temporary variable store, but that was the easy part all the same.

It’s certainly not the optimal solution to this level - someone apparently managed it in about 30 lines of code, which is astonishing - but eh, I’m proud of it.

I need to program more often!