#how am I supposed to respond to this?

[ask-playtime]

Hey playtim I love yiou sososoosososososo much by the way My mom says that i cant be on the cimputer much so please answer my question

can we be best friends????????? pretty plz! my dad killed my brother today im and im really sad :(( he was a baby and they have him in the garden im very sadn anyway heres some cookies!!!!

[doctorsiren]

Thinking about how last night, at 1 AM, my sister (who isn’t into Ace Attorney) and I were at ihop, and I was very tired and my ADHD meds wore off hours before, so I was rambling about Ace Attorney and trying to explain to her why I don’t believe Gregory Edgeworth was 5’9. I was trying to tell her that, at least in my head, he was 6 feet tall.

And she goes “You say he’s 6 feet? Yeah, 6 feet underground” and I didn’t know how to respond

[izzystizzys]

There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.

Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.

“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.

“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”

“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.

He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.

“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.

“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”

“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”

“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”

“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”

“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”

It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.

“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”

Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”

“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.

[infamously-winking]

Silly Straw Page Fully Translated:

hbh grfwru ri d gliihuhqw nlqg/ zkr zdqw wr pdnh klv sdwlhqw eolqg = “eye doctor of a different kind/ who wants to make his patient blind”

Qeb alzqlo pxvp/ qeobb pfmp x axv/ tfii jxhb qeb sfpflkp/ dl xtxv = “The doctor says/ three sips a day/ will make the visions/ go away”

Ixvvb hdwhu/ edeb eloob/ zrxogq'w gulqn/ xqohvv lwv vloob = “Fussy eater/ baby billy/ wouldn't drink/ unless its silly”

215 858 117 450 110 628 19 211 120 2256 216 951 25 256 27 532 212 506 18 1317 110 1137 221. 658 23 1330 210 231 118 929 112 2043 = “Twisted out of shape after the kill, the ghosts of his family are haunting him still.”

we’re not talking about that last cipher enough…

[azoosepted]

so i finally decided to “tell” my dad about Project Moon. And by “tell” I mean “Limbus Company. Library of Ruina. They are definitely games I like” and nothing else.

4 days later he just texts me this

how am i

supposed to respond to this

[arohuacheng]

imagining the story from pei ming's perspective is rlly funny i think. this god from all that time ago ascends again (you were there for the first two times) and immediately waltzes into a situation that fucks something up for your descendant (putting both of your reputations on the line, messing up how hard your descendant worked to become a god and how hard you worked to ensure that he would have that chance) and then refuses to let you smooth the situation out and on TOP of that your friend's little sister (who hates you and who you are trying to look out for by request of your friend) is on your case about it too. so you've gotta work all that out and then like. you chill for a little bit (still kind of upset about your descendant) until your friend undergoes a heavenly calamity. and then in the space of like A Day the god from earlier shows up again with a fucking ghost king, your friend dies, the little sister you're supposed to be looking out for disappears, and everything just kinda goes to shit. so you're like. grieving. trying to process everything. until your OTHER close friend goes off the fucking rails with the spirit of that guy she murdered, and then you get called out to the spooky ghost mountain where you're confronted with the girl whose death YOU were essentially responsible for and have never really come to terms with, and then like. you just kind of hang out with these gay people until everything resolves itself. fight some ghosts. fight the heavenly emperor. get your friend to stop being evil for a little while so she can fix the filing systems. and then you just have to keep being the god of love i guess

[cosmic-cogs]

I have ideas yet no motivation to write but hear me out

Bot/con of your choise x reader

There is a bot/con stranded on Earth, alone and injured, they barely have the strength to pull themselves the safety of a cave not too far from where they crashed, animals evacuating the are as quickly as they could. They loose consiousness, thinking this'd be the last thing they see but one day, after the years have taken their toll on the bot/con, their optics finally flicker back on, light so dim the creature infront of them could barely tell the difference, and the same as them, the large alien couldn't tell what was infront of them.

The human did what they could, using whatever they had to connect or seal the cut wiring, mend the torn metal, doing what they could to stop the bleeding, cleaning away the rust, caring for this stranger the best they knew how to. It wouldn't heal the bot/con, but it'd keep them alive, that was enough for both of them

Till one day, they are found. The bot/con carried away to safety by allies who wonder how they could still live, what has been caring for their injured friend, and the human has to come back to an empty cave with no sign of their injured friend.

They couldn't move on their own, not far anyway.

So, had another human found them?

Judging by the size of the foot steps on the ground, no.

They were alone, their friend taken away to who knows where, who knows if they'd ever see one another again, who knows if they were even on the same planet.

All they had was the hope that whoever had found them could heal what the couldn't

[scruncheduppaper]

friendship ended with labru now kikimari is my friend 🤝 apologies but the leg pouch comic got to me and now its all i can think about

[hgmason-hellion]

(saw it was your birthday today, so here's a teeny tiny ven! happy vurthday! 🎂)

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

THANK YOU SO MUCH

[whereareallofyousapphics]

asdfghjkl i was making my sister listen to the underworld saga with me and she’s just like “…is this musical about killing babies??”

[robnotes]

I told a guy I was bisexual and this was his response

[biggestwilliamfinnfan]

what if instead of “feel alright fir the rest of yourlife” it was “feel 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 👅 for the rest of your life” and instead of being falsettos they were 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴settos 👅

uhhhhh next question

[cordeliawhohung]

People are so fucking outrageous you take some time for yourself that you told us you were taking and now they're up in your asks demanding stuff tell them to pay you for it, sincerely someone who doesn't mind waiting for whatever you post

on god i literally spent the last few days driving hours on end and just got back yesterday, today is my first full day back home. and i've been traveling out of town for the outreach clinic i have to work at the next few weeks, and even then i've still been writing allskdjf

lmfao i don't want to shit on that anon too much, and i'm def not trying to be rude or anything, but i'm also going to hijack your ask real quick to address stuff since i do have quite a few new followers.

while some users might not mind questions regarding when someone is updating/if they have anything planned for an ongoing series, and things like that, i specifically have it in my rules to please not do that, which is why i got a little short with them even though they arguably weren't being rude or malicious (unlike a few anons in the past have when asking things like that). this one is especially annoying because it's been literally eight days since i last updated for that, and i have other series i've been working on! like even though i'm not posting for it, i've still written a couple thousand words for pet!au, and i just finished a chapter for in limbo i'll have up for early access here in a bit, and then on tumblr probably tomorrow or wednesday.

but mostly, the reason why i specifically request that people don't ask if i have plans/when i'm updating/if i'm updating something is because i literally have an irl life. i've been pretty open recently about how i've been traveling and the work i've been doing, it's not a secret or anything lmao. it just feels... tone deaf, you know? like you come into my inbox not talking about the work, or what you like about it, or otherwise engaging with it, but just to ask if i'm giving you more, like i didn't just do that a week ago. hell, even if it's been months or years that's still rude imo because if you like something enough, then you'd probably be doing more than just asking for more, ya know? at least that's how it comes across to me. and like i said before, some people really don't care, which is why i made sure to specify it in my rules, because i do care. it ruins my mood to write and create because then it feels like a chore and people are waiting on me just to consume it and then beg for more rather than tell me what they actually enjoyed about the work lmao.

anyway, no hard feelings against that anon at all, i'm sure they didn't mean anything by it, so please don't show them any hate or anything. but just use this as a reminder to read the rules of the blogs you interact with please. or at least don't be surprised when you do something that irks them and then they're annoyed at you because of it lmao.

sorry about the rant in the tags

[turnstechgodhead]

this websites hatemail game is INSANE

[spoiledskullz]

I genuinely love when like roleplay accounts interact with my art in character and say something like "wow i look handsome here" because it's SO funny to me and I'm always like "wow... it's really them... wrow"

[project-sekai-archives]

Im this close from leaving the Project Sekai Fandom, everyone keeps complaining and complaining, like please, please, shut the fuck up. No one can appreciate anything nowadays. Either the cards, the covers, or some shit like that. I'm done. I can't go anywhere and listen to a cover without having some little shit saying it's garbage. And the tuning? No one is a master at it. You can't just expect them to master it just because they're a company. I really wanna see you trying to cover it. And don't even get me started on the ships. "Toyakasa/Toyasaki is a proship!!🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬" No ??? It's not ??? They aren't even blood related. Sure, they see each other as siblings but still. And Mizuki, It's not always about her fucking gender.

I feel like the JAP community is mostly calm.

(this is not aimed towards you in particular)

Um....