#how do i tag it's 3am

[poetess-trobadour]

"Will I have the choice to decide?

If I wanna believe like my life is mine"

My (unpopular) take on zodiac vibes, part 7 ♎️✨️

[anriflosdraws]

the garden

[daily-sifloop]

Stargazing? ✨

Day 10: looking for your star

[krismiss-cos]

DPxDC idea thing

Now with AO3 post!

So picture this, the Justice League have just captured the new vigilante called Phantom. So far he has refused to talk to any JL members and seemingly vanished every time they tried to speak to him. After a particularly difficult battle Superman is finally able to put power restricting cuffs on Phantom and bring him to the Watchtower. Phantom has been silent since being subdued and looks like he's being walked to his execution.

Meanwhile, Red Hood has been brought in on an unrelated case and is speaking to a League member when he feels a kind of tugging in his chest. He starts walking in the direction he's being pulled and looks through the one way mirror looking into one of the interrogation rooms. He locks eyes with the green eyed boy and feels fire start burning in his chest as his brain screams protect king help. He's consumed with a feeling almost like the pit rage as he bursts through the door and makes a beeline to Danny. Batman starts to step in front of him but Jason throws him into the wall and undoes Danny's cuffs. Once Danny is free Jason blinks and looks around, feeling unbalanced now that the all consuming need to protect Phantom has subsided.

Danny is completely stunned as he looks at this leather clad mountain of a man that radiates safe protected friend. He's quickly snapped out of his shock as Superman enters the room and starts to grab Jason's shoulder. Danny's protective king instincts kick in as he darts between Supes and Jason, in a voice filled with static and cracking ice he says, "Don't touch my Knight."

[likeshipsonthesea]

you make me

bucktommy ficlet. had a convo about love. had some feelings. gave them to buck. enjoy~

The entire loft is soaked in the hazy blue light of pre-morning. Buck can hear the mechanical thrum of garbage collectors, a handful of singing birds, quiet but steady breathing. His body is sore, from work and then from Tommy, a satisfying reminder of a yesterday well spent. Everything is warm and soft like Saturday morning, even though he's fairly sure it's Tuesday.

The clock on his bedside table tells him it's much too early to get up for a Tuesday, so he turns over to get comfortable and ends up face to face with Tommy's sleep-slacked expression.

Buck watches him in that way that's only creepy if you're not in love. Takes note of his eyelashes resting against the tops of his cheeks, his lips shadowed by the slant of his nose, how the dawning daylight catches on the angles of his face. He wants to touch, but not enough to disturb the serenity of sleep on his boyfriend's face.

Eddie tells him he says that a lot. My boyfriend. "We all know his name," Eddie says, tone harsh but a creeping smirk giving away the joke.

When Buck brought it up with Dr. Copeland, she asked him why he thinks he says it so much, but it was towards the end of their session so they didn't really get into it. Buck thinks it's probably something to do with his self-image problems, or maybe his abandonment issues? Dr. Copeland's better with the answers than he is.

Calling him Tommy is fine, but saying my boyfriend says my meatless lasagna needs more starch just reminds Buck that Tommy's his and, even more novel, Buck is Tommy's.

Buck likes being Tommy's boyfriend.

Tommy's boyfriend knows Tommy's coffee order, and drops it off along with a savory treat for him at the start of a long shift. Tommy's boyfriend always knows exactly where Tommy left his blue-light glasses and grabs them before they head to bed so Tommy can read another chapter of the cheesy historical fiction novel on his tablet. Tommy's boyfriend is the one Tommy goes to after a hard shift, to talk to or hug or just sit in the same room with until the rest of the world is less heavy.

As Tommy's boyfriend, Buck is still all the things he was before--firefighter, brother, friend--but knowing there's someone who trusts him enough to sleep beside him and let him stare at their face like a creeper in the early hours of the morning--there's this unfathomable freedom to it.

It's like--if Tommy loves him, he must be worthy of it. It's a truth and a prophecy, self-fulfilling. It's this ever-turning cycle that bolsters Buck to be the best version of himself, and none of it feels like work because it's all tangled up with joy.

"How long have you been staring at me?"

Buck startles out of his internal monologue to find Tommy's left eye open. The right is buried in his pillow along with the lifted corner of his mouth.

"Probably a little too long," Buck admits, staring fixedly at that corner of Tommy's mouth.

Tommy's lips part to release a sigh before settling into a smile. "Evan. Go back to sleep."

"In a minute."

Tommy shifts closer on the pillow, his nose nudging Buck's, his morning breath awful and his eyes so close Buck thinks their eyelashes might tangle. "You worked a 24-hour shift yesterday. You need to sleep. You can stare at me tomorrow."

"Promise?"

Tommy brushes their lips together. "Promise."

Buck finds Tommy's hand between them and laces their fingers together. "Alright," he says, settling back into the mattress and letting his eyes shut as he brings their hands to his sternum. "Tomorrow."

[skz-miroh]

the way i audibly gasped when they included “history huh? bet we could make some” in the museum scene

[tennessoui]

it’s like baby gorl there’s no way I, the author who wrote the fic you’re commenting on and who is the intended audience for this comment, am gonna agree with you 😿🙏 some things can just stay on your chest 🙏

[sneeb-canons]

Headcanon #645: Heart is usually the one that cooks for the three of them. Its not one of his main interests but he does really enjoy cooking and especially baking. Though he definitely gets too into it sometimes, and now they have like...80 more trays of baked goods than they all three need.

[cenfitto]

im playing

[kelocitta]

What a worthless animal

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[cheriboms]

doctober day 9: zipline

now ik this piece is set technically like. a minute before that happens but i just liked this sketch too much, so naturally i had to finish it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[catamations]

this is what happened in pokemon scarlet and violet right

[rg11]

whats your fav aspect(s) of jadekat?

anon im sorry but i had like 40+ notes prepaired for my thoughts on jadekat but i lost all of them proof-reading it and this is all i got

they are the ultimate yuri to me

[discjude]

Yeah this is about right (as always my thoughts are in the tags so there's actually kei content there lmao)

[emanation-aura]

What if Joker got a Palace in the Third Semester AU: the unhinged explanation.

Goro had looked up Kurusu last night, using old police files he wasn’t technically sure he had access to any more, but he was past giving a shit. The arrest record and documents listing charges against him he’d taken from the chief interrogator— they were still there, but curiously blank, in a way only cognitive distortion could manage. His hometown existed, but an illegal search of Shido’s census database didn’t reveal anybody living in the Kurusu household; not Akira Kurusu, not his parents or literally anyone else. The whole thing was a baffling mystery that had exhausted him to the point of passing out. The violence of clearing Shadows gives his aching mind a bit of clarity, though, and with it, a chilling thought. Akira Kurusu has been erased from reality.

Set from Goro's perspective. Instead of waking up on January 1st to a changed reality, on that day, Akira suddenly disappears. He is not gone from the Phantom Thieves' cognitions, but he is physically missing, and stranger still are his blank arrest records and the existence of the Kurusu household in a government census that Goro has completely transparently and legally obtained, despite the fact that "Akira Kurusu" does not exist.

“If he’s been erased from reality, does that mean Maruki overwrote his… his existence itself?" The low, simmering anger in her voice and the way she drops the honorific for Maruki speaks volumes about how Kurusu’s absence has radicalised Yoshizawa against Maruki’s tempting demands. It doesn’t quite satisfy him, because Kurusu is still missing and Yoshizawa is far too innocent for her own good; but it is enough to give him confidence in her teamwork, at least. “I have my doubts about that,” Goro says. He weighs his words carefully, trying to construct the evidence in a way that makes sense. “If he were truly overwritten from this reality, the Phantom Thieves wouldn’t remember their friend; they do, albeit in a very limited way.”

Yoshizawa hums thoughtfully. “Maruki managed to overwrite the cognitions of all the Phantom Thieves into believing their dead or estranged relationships had returned. He has no trouble writing people into reality; it should follow that he can write someone out of reality, but it seems while an effort was made, it wasn’t complete enough.” “Indeed.” Goro hides the modicum of surprise he feels at Yoshizawa’s brains; she’s no detective, but she’s decided smarter than Goro had given her credit for. “To support your conclusion: the papers on which his arrest record was printed still exist, even if the pages are blank. The census database indicates that the Kurusu household is empty, but also that it exists.” It would be a fascinating conundrum if he wasn’t under imminent threat of this cognitive reality. Either Kurusu has been imprecisely written out of this reality, or… “What if he’s currently residing in another plane of existence?”

In this AU, I basically postpone Kasumi/Sumire's internal crisis until after they have figured out what the fuck happened to Akira. "Kasumi" and Akechi enter the Odaiba Palace as usual despite the lack of Joker, find out it's Maruki, but he doesn't show "Kasumi" the traumatising videos of her past life for reasons untold.

“As you said, it is unlike Maruki to imprecisely remove him from reality. If he were so intent on giving his friends their paradise, he would either allow Kurusu to exist to be their friend, or overwrite his existence completely so the Phantom Thieves fully immerse themselves in the fantasy of their desired lives, which all supposedly took place before they met Kurusu.” Madarame’s pupil, the Nijima sisters and their father, Wakaba Isshiki, Kunikazu Okumura… the only exception is a human Morgana, but Morgana has always been an exception. “Instead Kurusu exists as a memory and artifacts of his existence weren’t properly erased. Perhaps, due to his… unique powers, he was able to separate himself from this version of reality before Maruki got to him.” It’s a stretch, but at the same time, the incongruity of the entire fucking Metaverse continues to burn a hole through his brain, so really, nothing is going to stop him at this point. “Crow-senpai…” Yoshizawa is hesitant, as if she is also grasping how tenuous the connection is. But then her face hardens in an expression he’d thought her incapable of: sheer, raw determination. “The Metaverse is an alternate plane of existence.”

Goro and "Kasumi" figure out that Palaces apart from Maruki's simply cannot exist, because technically, reality itself is Maruki's Palace; he is spreading his cognitive belief (distortion) to the entire world via god powers. With such overwhelming cognitive control, no "real" place exists for cognitive distortion to occur, because "reality" is already just "cognition" by Maruki.

They try Mementos, sure. Mementos is the collective unconscious, and while Persona-users can't have Shadows, if one is being perceived by the collective unconscious, one is also technically part of it: AKA, if the Shadows in Mementos registered Joker as like, a person, proof of his existence still exists in the cognitive world. (Of course said cognitive world is currently fusing with reality but I digress.) They try inputting Joker's name into the Mementos Nav to see if it will register him in the public unconscious, but unfortunately, no dice.

But Joker is special. He is the Wild Card, and unbeknownst to Goro or "Kasumi", he has access to the Velvet Room, a place 'between mind and matter, dream and reality'. Not saying that it's simple enough for him to just escape to the Velvet Room, but he's always been special, and has powers that none of them understand. So strange things always happen to him, and well:

“He can’t be totally gone,” Goro tries to reason, more for himself than Yoshizawa. If he has to try and convince the Phantom Thieves to face reality and defeat Maruki by himself, he is going to scream. “Evidence of his existence is improperly erased, meaning his cognition has not fully disappeared, even if Mementos doesn’t perceive him. If so—” Yoshizawa suddenly goes very, very still. “There is one other possibility,” she murmurs almost disbelievingly. It strikes Goro the way lightning skewers a tree. It would make sense, though. Maruki physically resides in his Palace because his distortion extends to the entire world; ergo, the entire world is technically his Palace. If Kurusu were physically residing anywhere else, it would be a cognitive reality under his control, not one where he'd been erased… “No,” Goro says out of sheer disbelief, the same time Yoshizawa flicks her finger to the ‘Palace’ tab and says in a somehow-perfect voice that doesn’t shake: “Akira Kurusu.” “Candidate found.”

Akira doesn't have a physical location for his distortion to center on; Metaverse Palace access depends on target/location/distortion to find routing, and location has thus far always been physical (Shujin, shack, Shibuya/Tokyo, Futaba's room, Okumura Foods company HQ, courthouse, Diet building). But somehow he's managed to escape Maruki's reality through a Palace of his own.

And, look. I've read a lot of Joker gets a Palace fics. The keywords vary from fic to fic; distortion is commonly masquerade / prison / theatre, or anything reasonable construed to separate facets of the social self. Location also varies, but less; I've seen Leblanc / his room / all of Tokyo / the entire world.

I'm not going to do anything particularly new either. But the keyword for location in this AU is going to be Akira's heart.

It's not a physical location, obviously. But it is also a very fitting metaphor for a Phantom Thief turned Palace owner who knows exactly what distortion is. It also provides a convenient respite from Maruki's reality, because "Akira Kurusu's heart" is not part of Maruki's cognition the same way "courthouse" or "Diet Building" might be. So when transported there by the Metaverse, "Kasumi" probably gets a flood of terrible memories, since she is in a plane of existence where she truly and only exists as Sumire.

As for distortion... I haven't decided yet, but I'm leaning towards prison. (rubs hands) it will slot nicely with the emotional repression angle: a prison with high walls and iron spikes, perched on a stormy island and impenetrable to all. Akira truly deludes himself in believing his heart is an impenetrable fortress where all his feelings must stay locked up... forever. Goro and Sumire are basically fighting to open the doors in his heart and stopping him from repressing his feelings, which is some dramatic irony with Mr. Black Mask doing the infiltration.

No real details yet, but I do want there to be a perfect replica of the interrogation room, including all the abuse and drugs, because poor akiren is probably repressing his trauma over that too :( I wonder how Black Mask Goro would react to seeing the interrogation room in full, bloody detail? Plus having Sumire along for the ride, who didn't know that this happened, making them the two absolute worst people to be witnessing this side of him.

Anyway, Third Semester Palace is more interesting to me than a post-game one because of all the wonky shenanigans around Maruki's control of reality. If reality is Maruki's "Palace", then the Wild Card (who resists by his very nature; see how he and Goro are the only ones sane) defends himself by escaping to another plane of existence. Unfortunately, one option is forming a Palace, which Akira was already on his way to doing because [insert fanon and this guy's trauma over losing Akechi and the interrogation room and the social burden of being an unwanted criminal branded to him for what seems like the rest of his life]. This all could have been avoided if Lavenza, but there would have been no AU for me to brainrot about, so.

(Why doesn't Maruki show "Kasumi" her trauma when Goro and her show up in the Palace? Butterfly effect: not from Joker being gone, but from Akira having a whole-ass Palace. Akira Kurusu, the kid Maruki therapised for nearly a year and formed a deep bond with. The saviour complex in Maruki compels him to focus on dismantling Akira's Palace, which he tries to do by cognitive "brute force" rather than Goro and Sumire's infiltration. So he's too distracted to harass "Kasumi".)

Technically, Maruki and Akira "doing battle" with cognition (Akira retreating from the overwritten reality hastily; Maruki trying to delete the Palace) implies a metaphysical plane where all Palaces/cognitive worlds exist in a same... "place" where they can cohabit, but that just seems like a dangerously close brush with persona 3's Sea of Souls where Door-kun is sealed and I am running out of steam to think more.

I wrote 1,500 words in a frenzy for this AU and had to share some here before I lost all my inspiration.