#how far would xena let her?

[girl4music]

Sometimes I cry at the sheer audacity of this moment. Then I sit in thoughtful silence and smile at how fitting it is. How right it is that she would be the only other owner of it. The only other worthy of being its owner.

I do wonder though that if the dark chakram had never been neutralised, would Gabrielle have been able to wield it at all? Because as far as we know the only characters that can both catch and throw it are Xena, Callisto and Eve. But you never see proof that Eve could have thrown and caught the dark chakram on account of she wasn’t born when it was neutralised with the light chakram. You just take it on faith that Eve would have been able to due to her being Callisto reincarnated and, obviously, Xena’s biological daughter. So therefore it makes me wonder…

Was Gabrielle the true owner of the light chakram? Could she also have been able to pick it up without burning to cinders? Because let’s be frank about this…

Xena had lost her sense of self when she picked it up off the altar in the Tao temple. She didn’t know who she was. She was a blank slate. It was the altar’s creator that recognized her as the owner of the dark chakram, which allowed her to be able to pick the light chakram up. But odds are that she wouldn’t have been able to wield it without it being neutralised anyway. But given the fact that Gabrielle could wield the yin-yang chakram, I think it’s very fucking possible she was the owner of the light chakram instead of Xena.

I mean regardless of how intertwined Xena and Gabrielle were in past, present and future… I don’t think Gabrielle could have ever instinctively been able to wield the yin-yang chakram if she wasn’t already the owner of at least half of it. The light half of it. And I would go as far as to say that that's how she was able to. Because she always could. She just never knew it.

And had Tapert gotten his spin off show of ‘Gabrielle: Warrior Princess’ he would have explored this subject.

It could simply be that the reason Gabrielle could wield the yin-yang chakram instinctively was because Xena could, and Xena - the body - was no longer around but the soul’s essence lived on in Gabrielle. That’s cute and all but that doesn’t really explain it.

What could is that she was always the owner of it. But it took meeting and being with Xena in that lifetime for her to come to the reality where she would wield it. We always talk about how essential it was for Xena to meet Gabrielle for her to change the way that she did. But I say it was just as essential for Gabrielle to meet Xena because Gabrielle wasn’t who she was meant to be either without her, and certainly wouldn’t have become the exceptional warrior she ended up as.

Soulmates or ‘one soul in two bodies’, as I refer to it…

It means so much more than just the relationship factor. It’s all about how it affects the individual as well. All about how one changes because of the other. Which is why I always say that there’s got to be more than one soulmate for everyone. However Plato would disagree with me on that. And in a Greek background, it’s only appropriate that Xena and Gabrielle are the one and only half for each other - as the story goes…

But it’s just something to think about that it isn’t just because of THAT why Gabrielle could wield the yin-yang chakram. Perhaps it was that she was always meant to but would have never gotten to the point of doing so without meeting, travelling with and falling in love with the true owner of the dark chakram. Xena.

Maybe - just maybe - the yin-yang chakram is symbolic for the journey that these two individuals go on together because both of them are the owners of it BOTH when it was neutralised AND when it wasn’t.

Think about it. It makes more sense than you realize.

[dadrielle]

lolololol fine, twist my arm why don't you, here are my Gabrielle and Imogen thoughts.

Ok, so, one thing I like to turn around in my mind and talk a lot about is how Gabrielle’s moral confidence was shaken after the Rift (for non-Xena-fan followers, this was a series of events that put Xena and Gabrielle at odds and culminated in Gabrielle’s demon-spawn daughter killing Xena’s son, and Gabrielle having to kill her daughter like, twice (neither one stuck)(lol)). She went from having a very strong concept of her own internal moral framework to being unsure and casting about for something she could adhere to in order to regain some sense of knowing The Right Thing To Do. She became even more vulnerable to culty people like Najara and Aiden and Eli, because she was desperately seeking an external scaffolding to hang her morals on because she no longer trusted herself. This lead directly into her misguided pacifism arc, and then into her decision to ultimately put aside that search for her own path in order to follow Xena’s full warrior path, which is really the great tragedy of her character.

Imogen does not reach that point through the same means, of course, but she likewise struggles quite a bit with trusting her own moral sense. She is constantly asking others whether people or actions are good or bad, and second guessing her own actions and worth and motivations. She desperately wants the answers to be easy because they never have been and she is exhausted. She thinks she might be tainted; how can she trust herself to make the right calls? And I think that makes her more likely to both want to believe in authority figures and to be particularly let down by them not being all they’re cracked up to be. Had the Vanguard found her before Laudna, it’s very possible they would have been able to recruit her against her better instincts. I don’t think she would be a true believer and would ultimately rebel against the human cost of the project but without the Hells and Laudna in particular she too would be very much vulnerable to cults.

In both cases, they do actually have strong beliefs and a core desire to help rather than hurt people. But they don’t trust themselves to do it correctly and that gets them in trouble. In both cases, too, the strength of their love is also seeded in this weakness. Gabrielle refused to believe that Hope could be intrinsically evil. Imogen wants so badly for her mother’s actions to come from a place of care. But that lack of self-trust means that when they lean too far into their ability to understand the motives of and have compassion for others, it becomes paralytic instead of balancing.

I hope that Imogen’s arc takes her on a different path than Gabrielle’s; as I said, I think Gabrielle’s ultimate decision to model herself on Xena more fully is a very tragic one. I don’t think she ever quite manages to regain full trust in herself. However, since Imogen’s arc started from a place of self doubt and since that lack of self-worth is the core problem in the Hells generally, I am hopeful that she will develop in the opposite way and ultimately gain a firmer trust in her own ability to do the right thing as best she can.

[deathsbestgirl]

thinking about my dad and how so many of the things i love are because of him.

he loved the x files and xena and charmed and horror movies and wolves and camping and hiking.

he used to tell me when i was a baby, he thought i should know how to climb out of my crib already, so he taught me (and then i would sneak out of bed to watch the x files from behind the couch). and how i used to pull the kitchen cabinet doors off, watch him put them back on and pull them off again. or how he simply could not put my socks on because i would scream & cry that he did it wrong, so he had to let me do it myself. or when he was watching some nature documentary show and they showed wolves, i kept looking from our dog abby (abby normal) to the screen in awe.

i think about him saying he doesn't like animals but he absolutely did and they loved him too. a cow licked his face!! jersey was most content with him (and now with my mom). he stayed up all night with a dog that wasn't even ours & belonged to a girl he couldn't stand. and the times we found dogs (a beautiful white dog outside our house, a malamute when we were camping) and he just hung out with them until we found the owners. (how i still tend to find dogs and have to find where they belong)

i remember him going on every ride with me & my sister. especially the roller coasters even though he didn't like them. or going with me in the ocean in his jean shorts because he didn't have an actual suit (as in refused to get one lmao) and we would swim out really far and get yelled at by my mom & the lifeguards. or when he would take me to work at the bookstore when i was really little (and now i work in a bookstore)

i think about all the things i didn't know about him. like my parents actual song was everything i own by bread (and not who's sorry now which they danced to at their wedding, they were insane) or how he had a girlfriend before my mom who had a daughter and one day the woman just left with her & he never saw them again. he was devastated)

i didn't realize what i was doing, but i made renata watch xena over the pandemic, and then x files almost a year ago. i haven't stopped watching it since.

seeing the color green everywhere in spring & summer invigorates me now. he gave me that color and usually it brings a feeling of peace, but sometimes it just breaks my heart because he isn't here anymore.

it's been five years now and it's still really hard. but somehow it's getting easier to remember him even though i don't feel i can remember enough.

[chthonic-cassandra]

Tagged by @awildwickedslip

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

111

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

312,131

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write a little across a lot of fandoms. The only fandoms for which I have written substantial amounts are Dracula, Greek mythology, and Shakespeare's plays. I have active projects right now in Dracula, Xena, and Penny Dreadful.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Shattered Mirrors (Jonathan in Dracula's castle), Make It Through the Wintertime (Hadestown Persephone character study), To Burn the Castle Down (Jonathan angst), Compromise (Dracula darkest timeline AU), Minor Initiations (different Dracula darkest timeline AU)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I have been trying to get in the habit of it. I think it's nice to express my appreciation and try to be a bit more social about all of it.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is a hard question; so, so many of the things I write are angsty. Specifically as far as endings, I am realizing that an extremely high proportion of my stories end with a character aware that they are about to die or that something else terrible is about to happen to them, and in some way accepting it. This is of course tragedy but I'm not sure it is quite angst.

Outside of this pattern, I think that To Burn the Castle Down is almost over the top angsty (it's not one I like to reread), as is For Every Grief That's Offered (yet another Dracula darkest timeline AU). Both are from ~15 years ago, and I would write them differently now.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ha. Do I write happy endings? Sometimes I do bittersweet hopefulness, of which I think Fidelity (poly Mina post-canon) and Still in the Realm of the Sun (Code Name Verity Julie/Maddie fix it) lean most heavily on the sweet side. The Caucus-Race (Alice in Wonderland, the Dodo enters politics) is legitimately happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not to my face for a long time, at least not in a serious way.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do not.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not much. Many years ago I did a couple - a Dracula-Greek mythology and a Dracula-Vampire Chronicles, and also a little Nosferatu-Pied Piper of Hamelin which is the only one of those still up.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes - someone translated Foreigners (Aida, Amneris character study) into Mandarin. There might have been another but I don't remember it.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, though I once told @forthegothicheroine I would and then bailed on her, for which I continue to feel some guilt

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

To write, certainly Mina/Dracula/Jonathan. But that's not from an actually shipping it perspective. What I tend to write and what I ship when reading or watching something aren't all that related.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mood, imagery, psychological interiority, small-scale structure/pace

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut, happy endings, writing anything long form

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it in a language that I didn't myself know, and the only non-English language I know well enough to do that in is ancient Greek, which I guess I could use somewhere but it hasn't felt necessary. Several installments of Compromise have important scenes of switching between languages so I've thought about it, but keeping all the text in English let me do a particular language-related reveal in this last installment which pleased me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Either Lord of the Rings or Phantom of the Opera

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Right now it has to be Compromise as a whole, but this is hard. There are a lot of other things I've written that haven't gotten as much attention as that one but which are very dear to me, but as a series Compromise means so much to me at the moment.

Too tired right now to tag anyone, but please consider yourself tagged if you'd like to do it!

[episodeoftv]

Round 1 of 6, Group 1 of 4

propaganda is under the cut (257 words) - may contain spoilers

summaries (pulled from imdb or wikis)

propaganda

Merlin - 5.12/5.13 Diamond Of The Day

Merlin finds himself facing the future he's fought so long to avoid. / With Arthur's forces outnumbered, Merlin arrives in his guise as the aged sorcerer to defeat Morgana's army with magic. Arthur kills Mordred but is wounded and rescued by Merlin, who reveals that he is a wizard. Arthur is initially hostile but, advised by Gaius, allows Merlin to take him to the healing lake of Avalon. On the journey, Arthur comes to appreciate everything Merlin has ever done for him and eyes him with a new respect, even softening in his attitude to magic, but Morgana is pursuing them. Can they make it to Avalon ahead of her?

1) (spoilers ahead) Arthur found out about Merlin's magic. And before they could talk about any of it, he DIED. Then, while he was dying, he said that he wanted to tell Merlin something that he never had before. He says, "Thank you". But, as Merthur shippers say, if you read the actor's lips, it looks like he's saying "I love you"

2) It was too fricking sad. There was too much dying in your arms tonight.

3) Honestly it's been years since I've seen it but I still regularly think about how they saved their big major character-relationship-redefining reveal for literally the LAST EPISODE. Why would you do that???

4) they started the show with a prophecy about all the great things arthur and merlin would achieve together and ended it by saying "whoops! did we say that? let's just say that happened off screen" as arthur literally dies in merlin's arms. all these promises about how everything will be different when arthur is king and he does absolutely nothing once he's there. one day arthur will know about merlin's magic and see everything he has done for him? yeah for like 20 mins and then he DIES. but he achieved his destiny of waving his sword around and looking pretty <3 and I'm sure there are other submissions talking about the queerbaiting elements (esp in the commentary) and the way they kill gwaine too :(

+ 1) It aired on December 24, ruining all fans' Christmas in 2012 In the DVD commentary, one of the showrunners said, "We did, very genuinely, think of the episode as a love story between two men. Which is what I think it is, jokes and innuendo aside"

+ 2) IT AIRED ON FUCKING CHRISTMAS

Xena Warrior Princess - 6.21/6.22 A Friend in Need

A dead woman from Xena's past sends a monk to ask the warrior princess for help. Xena and Gabrielle travel to the far land of Japa, which Xena visited a long time ago, to face an evil spirit and his army. / When Xena dies in order to fight Yodoshi as a ghost, Gabrielle starts a dangerous journey to retrieve her friend's body and put her ashes into the Fountain of Strength, which will bring her back from the dead.

They undid an entire series of redemption work with one that could only be redeemed with her death an unending torment

[jennyandvastraflint]

Xena Reactions S2Ep15! (I think this is one of my faves so far XD)

The awakening. And dudes being annoying

OH NO GABRIELLE!

Shdhdhs she just sloshed water on her to wake her

I love Xena fighting with a frying pan

NOOO GABRIELLE

shdhdvd "Xena, this is our only frying pan!"

"Can we cook with your juices?"

Gabrielle is not having a good day

Shfhdhd she knocked him out again

Oof, they're having a rough day

"You pinch him I ask the questions >:)"

"Heads, we take on the giant"

"Does your village have a shop that sells frying pans?" Please XD I completely understand Gabrielle tho

Are they playing guess who

"Were you killed by a certain warrior princess?" "Yes." "Well that narrows it down..."

XENA IS HUNGYYY

"You know, a frying pan would come in handy right about now" XDD

She caught her gf an eel sjdhd

PLS XENA LIKES THROWING FISH AT HER GF (ngl Vastra definitely did that)

"Another one's fallen for you" "AGAIN?"

"No I think [chainmail] would just attract a kinkier group." sjdhdhdbd

GABRIELLE USING THE SHAKRAM FOR CUTTING

"I've learned that she works in mysterious ways" She doesn't have plan

XENA USED HER SCROLLS AS TOILET PAPER 😭

Pls...

BOOB GRAB

Hmmm... No people

Uhhhh... Is this a fangirl

"And I can read" 😂

She has no strategy yet

O_O THEY'RE BATHING TOGETHER

Gabrielle lovingly washing Xena's hair

XENA SCRUBBING GABRIELLE'S BACK

"Because I do the sensitive chats"

"I'm less competitive than you are"

"Are you sitting on the soap?"

AWWW THEY'RE SPLASHINGGG

"HEY. Say goodbye to Minya" like a dog

"Wanna trade?"

CALLISTO KILLED THEODORUS "She was in my body"

There is a lot of tension here...

"You're a genius" "No"

Gareth? I think I've heard that name before

Awww, Gabrielle giving Minya her stuff to read

OH. The one who killed Goliath's family

"How are we going to get lightning bolts?" Oh, a kite

"Maybe if I run with it" she did not hear a WORD Gabrielle just said... 😂

"Have faith, Gabrielle" NOOOO SHE GOT HIT BY THE KITE

Yay it fliessss

AAAAAAH, THE STRING. My poor Gabrielle

"I think you're denying your feelings" fuck offfff...

GABRIELLE WANTED TO JUMP HER

Damn grab her boob armour

"I just gave her some advice about handling men"

I'm still a hater of the Goliath episode... Goliath loves

Xena bored? 😂

"Cut him some slack, he's just stomped an entire army"

Him just screaming at her, and she's just like :3

MINYA

"looked so good in leather?" PLEASE 😭

They're both like ...Wat

"Don't let them die on a lost cause"

AWWW THEY COMMUNICATE (*looks at the Victorian wives who could use some communication*)

JESUS HE'S BIG

She stepped on his toes after tying the kite to his belt

"Come on, handsome" djfhdsh

I love the way they utilise perspective. They definitely had two different size bones for this.

"Goliath says Hello" AND ZAPPPPPP

Oop he's proper torched

"That bunch up there looks like a big dipper" THEY STARGAZE. OR STARGAYS!?

CUUUUTE

Bwahaha Gabrielle thonked her nose 😭😂

AWWWW, SHE KISSED IT BETTER

They're so married ajdhdhfhd I love them

[klinefelterrible]

I believe noone would ever read it but it's okay

So I saw this picture on instagram today and took it literally, so here's my little fic to this idea

Human: so yeah this is nice

God 1: I Am God

God 2: Me Too

Human: I decided I will plant some potatoes here on this beautiful land

God 3: You should have a wolf here, wolves are old school

God 1: God 3’s got a point

God 2: What you need is a woman, son

God 3: We can give him a wolf and a woman

God 1: Not enough mana

God 3: human gotta pray, eh?

Human: So, uh– Dear gods please I'm begging you I need a woman and a wolf and I am so thankful you're surrounding me on this gorgeous island and stuff

God 2: *sigh* and it started so well

God 3: I think I can handle a wolf with this, hold on

God 1: It would be easier if you got him a pup

God 3: good point

God 1: Maybe some mana will be enough for a woman

God 2: maybe for a not very smart woman, yes

God 1: you said a woman, not a smart woman

Human: what's the difference?

God 2: *sign* I'm beginning to think he's not very smart either

God 3: would you guys stop yapping for a second, I need to focus

Human: So anyway you guys do you and I will be there planting potatoes

God 2: maybe you could chant some praising songs for us

God 1: that would be helpful

God 3: yeah, sing us something with a lot of Pleases and Thank Yous

Human: How about Dua Lipa’s “pretty please”?

God 3: now that's a fine piece of ass

God 2: one of my best creations so far

God 3: I thought it was God 1’s work

God 1: I was on vacation that day

God 2: On vacation… Hey, we don't feel any difference!

Human: I haven't started yet!

God 2: Any time!

God 3: So anyway what are the chances of her lookalike here?

God 2: Fuck if I know

God 1: oh, he started. I can feel it.

God 3: now if we all concentrate we could have a Dua Lipa lookalike here

God 2: yeah but I'd better store that mana and make her, you know, better in harvesting

God 3: what for?

God 2: she is supposed to be of help to our human

God 1: …and he is in his farming mode now, I get it. Okay

God 3: Okay I guess

God 2: we can always get him two

God 3: We did it once with Xena and she's not into dudes

God 2: it was your idea to make her that meaty

God 3: bless me I guess

God 1: I think let's keep it with one Dua Lipa lookalike and let's make her into farming and shit

God 3: watch it

God 2: remember how we made Dalilah into shit?

God 1: fair point

Human: you guys are okay?

God 2: why?

Human: it's starting to rain

God 4: yeah you wanted your potatoes to grow without water?

God 3: there he is

God 2: make it stop

God 1: you're spending our precious mana

God 4: I thought we were here to help our human

God 2: We're saving mana for Dua Lipa’s lookalike

God 4: that is good stuff, boys

Human: thank you!

God 4: don't mention it

God 1: go play with your puppy

God 2: I love puppies. But I love women more

God 4: So how much mana do you guys need for her?

God 3: I think we're just okay, but human needs to crave her more

God 2: yeah, craving is a very important factor here

God 1: wish I knew that sooner

God 2: well who knew

God 1: I should have known

God 4: I know now that we need to cover our own sectors and communicate about that common spots

God 3: yeah about that, are we ready for human to reproduce?

God 4: I like it when humans reproduce

God 1: pervert

God 4: au contraire! More humans, more begs for rain! I like it when they sing happily in the rain

God 2: some of them can sing, damn

God 1: do I hear a little pride here?

God 2: maybe a little, yes

God 3: I hope for the show. You guys remember Sodom?

God 1: I loved that city

God 2: what a waste

God 4: I was on holidays there back then

God 3: I practically lived there for years

God 1: Girls there knew how to sing, damn it

God 4: and they had boobs!

God 2: I cannot not be proud of myself, I mean after all what else should I feel

God 3: yeah, yeah, sure, go ahead

God 4: I believe what we need here is some lust

God 5: yeah so I was here all the time but all I heard was the potatoes

God 2: good friend for all the boobs

God 5: I mean I don't try anything else

God 3: anyway did you see the puppy yet?

God 5: i did. nice work!

God 3: So we will give him Dua Lipa's lookalike

God 5: damn right you will, shiiit

God 2: do we need to worry

God 5: no need to worry. He'll just need you sometimes more

God 1: And that's a good thing, yes?

God 5: balance and harmony, boys

Human: I planted a few rows!

God 3: good for you! Now pray for the bountiful harvest

Human: okay

God 2: I'm ready for some action

God 3: Should we all help you somehow

God 5: I already am helping

God 1: don't make it messy I'm begging you

God 5: I like it messy

God 4: yeah but we mean like dick in the ass messy, not spontaneous combustions messy

God 5: our human craves some of it

God 1: oh hell no

God 2: so what

God 3: no problem

God 4: yeah it's nothing, you guys remember Sodom?

God 5: I loved that place

God 1: yeah it was okay

God 3: and the goats were happy, too. And the mares

God 4: that one stable boy was happy, too

God 5: I see you looking at me

God 4: just don't make it too messy, okay

God 5: I will not

God 2: okay guys make me some space

God 1: i love it when it happens

God 3: I think we might have some mana left for, uh

God 1: It would probably be better if we left human craving for dick in the ass for some other time

God 3: I, uh, wanted to ask what animal would be the best for this

God 5: dragons are always the best

God 2: he's got a point

God 1: I like dragons

God 4: How it's supposed to help our human

God 1: we'll, uh

God 3: I'll make it rather sweet and loving

God 2: Dua Lipa will be like that exactly

God 5: oh and more

God 4: yeah I think we should wait with the human to grow a little more

God 2: you're afraid of sudden fetishism?

God 5: I told you I'm going to be careful

God 1: yes you did tell us but what does it have to do with reality

God 3: good point

God 2: She's almost ready

God 4: yeah naked woman in high heels ready for some serious action in dirt

God 5: let's not get over our heads okay, she's a star and they need nice shoes.

God 2: that's how it's supposed to be

God 1: I like them hookers in heels

God 4: you practically invented them

God 2: and potatoes too

God 1: Are you guys jealous

God 5: look, she plays with the puppy!

God 4: how cute!

God 3: she isn't very busty, is she

God 2: have you seen her thighs, though?

God 4: back in the day I saw thighs like these smashing coconuts

God 5: Ahhh good old days of Sodom again

God 4: what happened back then anyways

God 3: taxes

God 2: what an idiotic idea

God 1: I understand your point of view

God 2: I sense there's a “but” there somewhere

God 1: we tax human with prayers right?

God 5: I see you missed a point here

God 3: completely missed a point

God 4: I see her on all fours closing to our unsuspecting human

God 5: don't look at me like that, I didn't do anything

God 3: in case of emergency, break glass and unleash the dragon

God 1: what glass

God 2: what dragon

God 3: I'm working on it

God 4: oh look, she likes him

God 5: la di dah

God 1: she is going to devour him

God 2: I did a good job

God 3: she is making a good job

God 5: you don't need to thank me for the show

God 4: damn she's into it

God 5: yeah that's the best part

God 6: so you guys are having fun yet?

God 2: we do

God 5: and so is human

God 6: the human is fearless, you guys don't worry?

God 4: worry about what

God 6: he won't need you anymore

Human: oh god oh my god ohhhh godddd

God 6: oh I see

God 2: and he has some potatoes

God 1: And a wolf

God 6: …and what a nice setup this is!

Gods: yeah we did a good job

Human: OH YEAH

God 5: and human woman does even better job

God 6: stop bragging, it's not very nice

God 4: if he prays for her to have bigger boobs, I'm giving them to her

God 1: he won't even notice their existence

God 3: Wanna bet what his next prayer will be about?

Wolf pup: woof

God 1: good harvest

God 2: Second woman

God 3: a dragon

God 2: can I change mine?

God 4: rain

God 5: he will pray for her to be more kinky. Or grow a dick

God 2: I want to change mine into second woman with a dick

God 3: maybe he wants some chickens and eggs, I don't know

God 6: wait a minute I think he said something

Human: would you like to meet our friends?

Girl: who are they?

Human: gods who created you, me and everything here

Girl: I don't believe in gods

God 4: ooooh bummer! I can struck her with a thunder if you guys want

God 5: I have a better idea

God 2: what

God 5: I will rewire that brain a little

God 1: and you were surprised we were suspicious about you

God 5: you want my help or not

God 3: how about a dragon now

God 2: I think it's time for this girl with dick now

God 4: good idea

God 1: what are you going to do about her?

God 5: I will just put some more heat into her

God 3: that's not a too bad idea

God 2: and if it doesn't work

God 3: you'll getting that dickgirl here

God 2: fuck yeah

God 4: so tell me what are you going to do

God 5: oh just relax and watch

Girl: I don't believe in gods but I do believe in heads

Human: that's niIIICE oH HoLy ShIT

God 5: and voilà

God 6: you guys now know why it's called ‘french sex’

God 4: because french were so fucked up?

God 3: because french are so fucked up

God 2: Their women are beautiful

God 1: they don't shave armpits

God 6: they don't shave anything

God 4: mana level max, we can create anything we want

God 7: Let's make a dickgirl

God 2: that's my idea

God 7: let's make it two!

God 5: I'll make them in constant heat

God 4: let's give them a power of storytelling

God 3: I'm giving them a dragon too

God 1: so now we have two people, a man obsessed with potatoes and a girl obsessed with blowjobs and a wolf puppy obsessed with, uhm, licking it's balls, and you guys wanna add two horny dickgirls and a dragon here?

God 4: pretty much, yes

God 5: yeah

God 4: I love those exotic households

God 2: And our little human is about to be very happy

God 1: he'll get someone's cock up his ass, right?

God 6: ahh you guys remember Sodom?

God 7: what a waste

God 4: I need a nap

God 5: let's go, give them some time

God 2: it will take me some time to make those two dickgirls

God 5: let me help you

God 2: thanks

God 1: thanks but no thanks?

God 3: stop being so obsessed, he's going to be fine

God 2: oh he will be fine already

God 4: I have an idea

God 5: an olive tree?

God 4: how did you know?

God 7: oh I get it how did he know

God 1: perverts

God 3: HE WILL BE FINE

God 1: yeah, but

God 5: you want him to suffer?

God 1: no

God 5: so stop being such a wimp and leave the human alone, we got this

God 1: meh

God 2: first dickgirl almost ready

God 3: I am going to make some chickens and maybe some pigs and stuff

God 4: no pigs

God 7: yeah you guys remember Sodom?

God 2: what a waste

God 3: oh shit yeah you guys are right

God 6: I believe we need to tame this girl a bit

God 5: after the human shoots the last of his seed, she'll stop

God 6: and how does she know when to stop

God 1: wake me up in two weeks

God 4: sleep well

God 5: my work here is done too

God 2: what about the second dickgirl

God 5: what about her

God 2: are you not giving her some special treats of yours?

God 5: Being a hot dickgirl isn't enough?

God 2: are you kidding me?

God 5: What?

God 3: what's the problem now?

God 2: so one is in constant heat and the other isn't?

God 5: have you heard of netorare

God 6: yeah, we know it from, uh

God 2: Sodom

God 4: I was about to say that

God 5: Dickgirls love it

God 2: Technically it's rape

God 5: technically, shut the fuck up

God 3: We made rape the most common date idea

God 6: no we didn't

God 5: It was me, wasn't it

God 7: Nah, it was that other one

God 8: I wanted it to happen

God 5: great, now you're here too

God 3: We have two chickens now

God 2: And two dickgirls

God 4: and a wolf

God 5: and a pair of humans

God 6: I believe there are potatoes, too

God 8: you know what this island needs?

God 5: a kangaroo

God 2: ah shit

God 3: I'm not doing that

God 4: please don't

God 8: human passed out

God 5: and the girl seems tired

God 8: Easy target for the dickgirls

God 2: wait no

God 5: wait yes

God 4: I can make a thunderstorm any second now

God 5: let's not jump into any extremes, okay? I made dickgirls attracted mostly to human.

God 6: I like your “mostly”.

God 2: yeah it doesn't sound like a lie at all

God 3: Imma go and make some worms and stuff, see you guys later

God 2: don't make a kangaroo

God 3: no worries mate

God 2: you guys are okay now?

God 5: dickgirls have fun

God 8: one is netoraring the other

God 6: I don't think it's alright

God 7: yeah it is alright

God 2: it reminds me of Sodom again

God 7: we didn't have that genetics like we do now

God 4: yeah people were smaller

God 5: that's why we invented Christian Louboutin

God 2: yeah it was a good idea you came around that day

God 5: sheer accident

God 2: so I always say

God 4: I miss Sodom

God 8: the taller dickgirl is on her way to recreate it here

God 7: That's their purpose

God 8: what a waste

God 2: what

God 5: Sodom

God 2: that, yeah

God 4: I have an idea

God 2: just tell me the list

God 5: I can help you with that

God 8: I can help you helping them with that

God 6: are you guys thinking of another Sodom

God 5: fuck yeah

God 7: Let's put Pamela Anderson there

God 6: but please the younger one

God 5: let's put twelve Pamelas Anderson there

God 2: easy guys, we have to start over with one human

God 5: yeah… it was nice to dream

God 8: it is always nice to plan a little

God 6: I need to sleep

God 4: Let's observe human and his three girls here

God 5: more like let's observe three girls and their human sex toy

God 8: i love how you think

God 7: such a waste

God 2: Sodom again?

God 7: yeah

To be continued (maybe)

[theunsweetenedtruth]

Promises (3)

Pairing: Erik Stevens x Ada Moore (OC)

AN: Originally written in 2018

Ada stood in front of the mirror, rubbing her belly. She was fresh out the shower, only in her underwear, taking in the changes her body had gone through and how much they reflected the changes in her life.

She'd moved from the studio apartment she'd shared with Erik into a two bedroom apartment not far from where they'd lived. She decorated the second bedroom in soft grays and blush pinks, spending two days painting the wall opposite the door in a floral mural in black, purple and that same pink. It had given Ada a purpose being able to create a space for her baby girl to come home to once she was born, like she was presenting herself to be judged by her upon arrival and Ada didn't want to be found lacking.

She found a job in a daycare, helping to care for the smaller children, to try to supplement the measly income she was getting from selling her art. It was hard to sacrifice her painting time but it was the only way Ada would be able to pay for the apartment and get what she needed for her baby girl. It was easier in the studio apartment, even easier with Erik paying half of the—sometimes the whole—rent. But that was he past and Ada had to make sacrifices for her future. She would be able to bring the baby to the daycare after birth as well, which made things better.

There was still no word from Erik, no way of knowing whether he was alive or dead, no way to let him know he'd have a baby girl in less than a month. Ada packed the things they he'd left behind into the back of her closet. Every once in a while, she'd pull out his leather book and look through it, praying for the answers to waft up from the worn pages. She felt closer to him in those moments; she liked to think that he'd gone to Wakanda, had found the family that they'd both wanted. Ada had let go of her anger quickly after realizing he wouldn't come back; he'd given her the greatest gift possible, the ability to build her own family.

A nudge took her out of her thoughts and Ada smiled. Her baby girl was very active throughout her pregnancy. "You kicking your mama? Hmm? You want some attention?" Ada looked at her body in the mirror analyzing herself. She was still slim, with a large round belly poking out, but she didn't even look pregnant from the back. Eight months had flown by and she had everything ready for her baby's arrival except...

"We really need a name for you baby girl," she said absentmindedly. "I don't think Baby Girl is gonna work on your birth certificate." There was a knock on the door.

Ada froze. She didn't have any friends and the people she'd met at the daycare didn't know where she lived. Even if they did, Ada didn't think they would stop by unannounced. Running to her bedroom, she pulled on her silk robe and ran to the door. Peering through the peephole, she saw two women, shaved heads with tattoos on them, holding spears. Ada backed away from the door in shock; she didn't know who these women were or what they wanted. There was another knock.

Leaving the deadbolt in place, Ada opened the door. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"Are you Ada Moore?" the one on the left asked.

"Depends on who's asking." Ada wasn't about to trust just anyone. She knew Erik probably still had enemies out there; it wouldn't be hard to figure out who she was to him. Who she'd been to him.

The women looked at each other, exasperation clear on their faces. "I don't think you want to have this conversation in the hallway," the same woman spoke up again, an eyebrow raised. Ada noticed she had an accent, an indication that she wasn't from Boston, or even America, and irritation colored her every word. "This is about N'Jadaka."

Ada blinked in confusion. Was she supposed to know who the fuck that was? She was getting annoyed with these women; all she wanted to do was eat her food and sit on her couch, not play mind games with black Xena, Warrior Princess.

"You know him better as Erik Stevens."

Ada slammed the door quickly, wrenching the chain off the door and swinging it open. "You know about Erik? What happened to him? Did he make it to Wakanda?"

The women gave each other another look before walking in. After shutting the door behind them, they banged their spears on the ground. The lights flickered and a figure appeared clothed in a black and gold suit. Ada startled at the sudden appearance of a masked man. What in the absolute hell...

The face disappeared from the mask and a face recognizable to her appeared. Erik looked agonized at seeing her and Ada felt paralyzed. She figured he had to be dead, secretly hoped for it being the only reason she hadn't heard from him in eight months. Stepping closer to him, tears welled in her eyes and before she knew it she swung.

[13thdoctorposts]

I’m just gonna say it… I really enjoyed Legend of the Sea Devils (LotSD). I wish it was longer, or that it wasn’t the only Sea Devil episode in the 13th era, but I would say they are positive criticisms not negative ones. This is because I enjoyed the Sea Devils, I enjoyed Thasmin, I enjoyed Dans ridiculous pirate costume, probably more then I should have, lol. I like the guest cast, and really enjoyed the look and feel of this episode, who doesn’t love pirate stories? And of course 13s and Yazs costumes, *chefs kiss* I like the whole episode. Maybe I’m far too basic for the scholars of Doctor Who Fandom on Twitter and that’s why I like this episode when dwtwt (Doctor Who Twitter) clearly doesn’t and can’t help but harp on with their negative opinions. I get it some old Sea Devils episode was released today but why can’t you say how much you loved that with out bringing down LotSD?

Maybe someone should let them know 13s era is over and they have 2 shiny new doctors to play with, so just move on from everything you hate about 13 like a normal person would do who didn’t like something. Considering it’s done and none of them have to rewatch any of the episodes again, like maybe let it go so the people who liked it don’t have to avoid posts not even about 13s era because you have to make sure you get in your quota of negative 13 tweets for the day on all posts about Doctor Who.

For me it was a great episode because I felt like I could read between the lines. To me the Doctor was trying to work through her thoughts about Yazs feelings, her feelings and the situation they were in. She was clearly interested, again to me that’s what the flirting, or attempt at flirting, lol, was about, she was exploring her thoughts and feelings. It is hard when your head and your heart want different things. By the time we get to the end she’s decided to follow her head instead of her heart because she knows she doesn’t have time to work through this with Yaz, her time is limited and she’s trying to minimise harm. Sometimes following your head instead of your heart is the most selfless thing you can do. But she still lets Yaz know her feelings which is huge for her because let’s be real she’s told Yaz very little of the things that haunt her. Making this quite a big deal that she not only acknowledges yazs feelings, she acknowledges her own feelings, she acknowledges what she wants, and she acknowledges why they can’t have it.

Now this episode may hit different for me because I come from a time of Xena, Warrior Princess, where everything was subtext, and granted more subtext then we got from Yaz and 13, but being sapphic at that time you had to develop the skill of reading between the lines. I think people are far more use to people being super out and proud in shows these days and so this episode may have been lacking in comparison for some people. But Yaz was 19 when she boarded the TARDIS and she’s been through a lot, her feelings changing from idolising the Doctor to loving the Doctor, it’s not surprising she doesn’t know when that transition actually happen because it probably wasn’t a light bulb moment. And you know what? That’s ok and that’s valid, you don’t have to be out and proud and confident at 19 or 22 or 25 or however old Yaz is at that point she can acknowledge how she feels. So going into the Sea Devils to me were just a fun background story to the main event which was the Doctor working through her feelings and Yaz finding the courage to ask why they couldn’t be together.

And you know what Jodie and Mandip were fantastic in this episode, I was completely sucked in by their performances, the way they looked at each other during that underwater date/non date, they both said so much without a single word. it felt honest and believable, gut wrenching and because I didn’t feel lost in understanding this episode I felt like a lot of things were put into place and resolved. Even if I personally would have like them to have chosen to be together, I get the logic as to why they can’t. It’s heart breaking but when is a Doctor Who love story not heart breaking?

You may have a different opinion of this episode and that’s completely fair, but the people on dwtwt being snarky and crappy just make the dw fandom not a fun place to be because you’re not really welcome there if you don’t have the group think of 13 bad. And since this is a family show where Jodie might be a kids first doctor and they might love her, it’s really a crappy place for a kid to come if the want to be apart of the doctor who fandom.

It’s ok not to like something, but once it’s gone and you have your fav doctor, companion, and show runner coming back why not concentrate on that instead of bringing down something you never have to watch again.

If you have reach the end of my ridiculous verboseness thank you and if you like LotSD don’t listen to the critics cos I don’t think that episode was made for them.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 08x03 Heartache

“That was some deep writing. He hit a dog. Took it to the vet. Slept with the vet. Only needed one set” “Is he going to have a heart attack or something?” “Shit” “Fkn Indiana Jones style right there”

“ALI MAA” “what the fuck” and laughter

Laughter

“Sam is being so boring right now. It’s not like you have anything else going on” “I’m so confused. Did the lady die or did he just leave?” Sam was a deadbeat and left the lady like we saw last episode

“We don’t have peach pits here” “The People of Minnesota don’t grow peaches, as far as I know” “They’re really selling that” “thats a lot of eyeball” “They’re having a lot of fun with the rack focus on that one” “what a heartless bitch” “they missed their opportunity to make fun of everyone from Minnesota have that one accent” “Ok” “um” “I don’t know how he would have had time to breathe in before screaming. The screaming didn’t come from the same person at the same time” “How is that…the phone wouldn’t know what the fuck. It needs to know what language you’re using originally too” “Is it a possessed or cursed donor or some shit? That’d be awesome” “the place looks like the inside of an old country buffet” “thats what they all say” “I feel like we’ve seen this alley before” “not that guy’s heart” “to be fair, it looked like he had hella heart disease” “What’s it called when it’s something syndrome?” “Stockholm Syndrome?” “Dean hates being a hunter but he does it anyway” “thats a lot of blood stuff” “yup. Sure” “is it Lucifer or something?” “the occult” “When the aliens find that, it’ll be a brick named Brick” “It’ll be an obvious brick label” “Cacao” “options. Stocks. Bonds. Future investments” “no problem” “that’s a lot of brick” “more like stone I guess. It looked like actual rocks” “Is she Brick’s lover? I thought that was his mom” “Were they married?” “I thought he was a young dude” “Williams used that livery color today (Qatar GP 2023)” “box o fan mail” “Who the fuck is Betsey?” “Look at that fkn TV man” “Mid-20s huh?” “these guys are fucked. Dean said all of that, and Sam said sure that’s believable” “Is it a pipe organ? Or a digital one?” “what a bitch move” “oh yeah, she’s in my house” “the bunny hole. Exotic angel fire” “Two occult-obsessed weirdos walk into a strip club and threaten a stripper with a knife. Where are we? Florida? Christ’s sakes” “what a fkn greasy horror show” “scary music” “I didn’t see that coming” “I feel like Dean is into this somehow” “that was easy” “Oh he hit her in the heart” “crazy ass lady” “Dean gets what it’s like to be Xena Warrior Princess” “I’m with Dean on this one. Sam says that a lot” “You already tried that once in college, man” “slight the bitch some more” 🎶let’s start a riot🎶

“How come we don’t see her again?”

[girl4music]

In celebration of XENA DAY I’m going to leave the link to this podcast episode that the She Nerds Out hosts did with Steven L. Sears right here and transcribe some of it for you that I find the most fascinating and validating in regards to how the TV show and TV ship inform and influence each other in that the story arc/plot/narrative always wraps around the characters of Xena and Gabrielle instead of the other way around.  

The way Steven (yes, a straight white middle aged man) talks about Xena and Gabrielle is remarkable to me. He has such respect and reverence and just absolute sincerity when he talks about them both as individual characters and as a relationship dynamic that is primarily and predominantly romantic in his eyes. He confirms exactly why I will always highly praise the creators/cast/crew for what they did with this TV show and this TV ship and the timelessly magical experience it has on me and I know always will have on me. I can't believe that I actually had a personal conversation with this man for over an hour because I feel like he is a kindred spirit of sorts to me. At least as far as my interest and passion for TV art/entertainment goes. The way I know and understand the characters on a much deeper level than the show itself could ever really represent them to and for me.

You’ve just got to love how Steven automatically and intentionally wrote Gabrielle as a comphet lesbian. And I resonate so strongly with his words about her story arc and her journey in terms of how it applies to Gabrielle’s love for and initial fear of loving Xena the way she thinks - at the time - she’s only supposed to love men. Of course she’s constantly “running home to mama” because that’s where she knows herself best even if she’s always felt too queer to be mama’s little girl. And there is that very quietly played theme with her where she’s constantly struggling with that internally which is so brilliantly communicated in both Steven’s writing and Renee’s nuanced portrayal of Gabrielle’s character. And that is exactly what a “comphet lesbian” is. It’s someone that habitually runs home even when they know they don’t belong there because it’s safer or more familiar for them than stepping into the dangerous unknown even when it feels so much more welcoming than home ever did.

‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is a queer story from the get go. Episode 1 is very queer storytelling actually in the way that these 2 protagonist female characters meet each other and become family to one another. It’s “I feel like a stranger in my own home but I just met you and you seem to feel the same way as me - let’s just stop being strangers and be a home to each other.”

I would really recommend listening to the whole podcast episode because the whole thing is just amazingly in-depth and insightful but if you can’t do that please enjoy these transcriptions of what I think are the best parts of it that explain so much about where the creators/cast/crew’s minds were at VS where the network/studio/executive’s mind’s were at because it’s important to be aware that they were not queerbaiting or pandering or exploiting LGBTQ fans which many show’s creative teams and their network/streaming service platforms still do with their lead same-sex characters instead of take them seriously.

As I said - most of the creators/cast/crew agreed with the fans and even viewed the TV show as a love story between the 2 lead characters themselves. Especially the big names. Steven is a great example of that fact. And if they were just “fan-servicing”, then they were serving themselves just as much because they wanted canon Xena and Gabrielle just as much as the fans did. They may never have initially saw them that way but they clearly knew that it was the natural progression for them so they didn’t dispute it. They embraced it.

STEVEN: “One of the things we discussed at the beginning was a flaw that you find in a lot of TV shows that have 2 leads. Generally, 1 is the lead who has the name on the banner and the other one is the ‘sidekick’. And I remember saying - not as an ultimatum, I just casually mentioned it in the meeting - I said ‘I don’t believe in sidekicks. Sidekicks are the props that you kill off at the end of the first season so that people will tune in the next season. They’re kind of useless and they just exist.’ And everybody agreed with that and we did not want to get to the point where Gabrielle was just standing in the background going ‘Get him Xena! Get him Xena! Get him Xena!’ And I remember we angst during the baby tossing episode ‘cause that’s all she did. She participated by grabbing the baby but she literally was acting ‘Get him Xena! Get him Xena!’ And so we decided that Gabrielle had to have a solid progression that was not just a convenience for us. In other words we didn’t want to do this just because ‘well, we don’t want her to be a sidekick so we’re going to pretend like she’s important.’ We felt she had to be. And so obviously the relationship between the 2 characters folded in with that perfectly. So this was one of the episodes (‘The Greater Good’) where I said - I kind of posed the question in my mind - I thought ‘what if Gabrielle was the Xena of this episode?’ Which, obviously, is what came out of it.”

HOST: “Speaking of that episode though,… that’s one of the most iconic episodes of the show. Definitely of that first season if not of the show generally. So when you say that building up [Gabrielle’s] character and making her more important to the story and finding that through the relationship - was their relationship sort of just natural or was that something that you guys were like ‘yeah, no, this has to be a huge part of what the show is now.’”

STEVEN: “There’s no yes and no for any of that so… the thing is that every TV show - unless it’s adapted from a novel or unless you actually chart out 5 seasons right at the beginning - which a lot of TV series now are doing because of the way that we stream. They’re basically novels - at a certain point as you begin to develop it, it takes on its own life. With everybody’s contributions the characters become real and just as all of you are real, I could write stories that you could do, but you will live those stories differently. Even if you do them together, you’re going to live them individually. So when we started out the series we were looking for having a successful series. We wanted to have fun - everybody in this business wants to have fun - and we wanted to get another season. But, in the way that I write - and fortunately in this particular group we all had the same mindset - we don’t believe in doing action for the sake of action. We don’t believe in doing comedy for the sake of comedy. We don’t believe in doing anything that’s not rooted in character first. So when we started the series I had made a comment about their relationship. I actually said ‘we’re going to have a very large gay/lesbian following’ and some of the people in the office were like ‘why would you think that?’ and I said ‘well,… my first show was 3 guys on a boat.’ And back then you didn’t have the internet for fanfiction but there were news magazines that went out that fans would put together. Fanzines. And - of course - I subscribed to 1 4 Riptide and almost all the fanzines dealt with their relationships with how they regarded each other. On every level. Romantic levels and just on brotherly levels or anything like that… but their relationships were a lot closer. So what I realized with all the subsequent series that I was doing - every time there were 2 leads of the same gender, this type of fanfiction was out there. Now as a backstory, I come out of theatre. I’ve been doing theatre since I was 12 years old. So being around the LGBTQ community was just… Tuesday, you know? So, for me, as I kind of explained this, I said ‘any time a dispossessed group of our society finds validation in any of our media - they grab it. Because they’re not given it, they have to grab it.’ And I said ‘so, you know, it’s going to happen.’ And thank god nobody went ‘oh, we have to avoid that’ or ‘we have to stay away from that’. Okay? Nobody in the room … So what we just figured was like we’re just going to let these characters evolve the way they evolve. And anybody looking at these characters and the way they came together and the adventures they were going on - I mean in retrospect,… was it really a surprise that they would have this incredibly close bond as they went forward? I mean however you ship it, it doesn’t matter. That bond had to happen or Gabrielle would have been totally unnecessary. We would have gotten rid of her. She would have been an annoyance. As opposed to us embracing the annoying aspect at the beginning and then allowing the audience to watch this incredible growth that she never would have had without meeting Xena and the incredible growth that Xena had that she would never have had if she hadn’t met Gabrielle. I’ve always said ‘Sins Of The Past’ was a suicide episode. Xena was trying to kill herself. She had nothing left. When she buried her weapons she was saying ‘I’m leaving myself open to the next warlord to kill me’ and then she hears the noise in the distance and she goes over there and she sees this young girl standing up against warlords and there’s a part of her that says ‘I was like that. That was me. What happened?’”

STEVEN: “I will say though that as the show became more popular the studio backed off on a lot of things with us because we were doing well and they trusted us. I want to look at it that way anyway. The President of Universal Television during that time was a guy named Dan Philly and I knew Dan since I started. He was actually one of the studio executives from NBC for Riptide. So I knew him from back then. Really cool guy. Awesome guy. And he was like ‘look, you know if this is working, people are happy, you seem to be walking that line…’ - which I always snickered at - it’s ‘cause ‘yeah, cause we’re NOT walking that line’ - he said ‘just go for it.’ And he was also one of the old style studio executives where if they wanted something they would trust you. They would turn to you and they would say ‘can you have a little more titillation? ‘Cause we like that. That helps. Give us more titillation.’ But they wouldn’t tell us to do it. They wouldn’t say ‘this is how you do it.’ They wouldn’t say ‘redesign their costumes so that their boobs pop out.’ They would just leave it to us. And so we would say ‘oh, this scene where they’re in the tavern talking about these really intense things that are going on in their life - we’ll put it in a hot tub!’ And that actually is how the hot tub tradition began because we thought ‘well, that makes it titillating’ and yet… we used it for the story and… it actually is kind of a bonding thing… ‘so put it in there.’ They’re watching the dailies and you hear [Lucy] say ‘where’s the soap?’ and we go ‘do we leave that in?’ ‘Yeah, we’ll leave that one in.’”

HOST: “As far as from the fan side of it, I don’t remember when the term ‘subtext’ started to become a word that the fans threw around and it obviously has become it’s own thing: the subtext of the show. But it sounds to me like it was just very organic for you guys. But when did you start to hear of the fans - LGBTQ+ specifically - latching on to what we would call ‘the subtext of the show.’ Was there like any kind of feedback you were getting? Were you then more inclined to kind of give us a little more like ‘wink wink, nudge nudge’ moments like the hot tub? Were you receptive to what the fans were asking for?”

STEVEN: “Yes and no. With the internet obviously we had direct access to the fans and we always made it a rule that we were not going to follow where the fans wanted us to go. We hoped that they would follow with us. But at the same time we kind of adapted things. I remember - because of my geeky nature - I was the one who was online first. I was really into that. I was the one who found the first AOL chatroom that Laura, a little 14 year old girl had set up for Xena. So I was listening in. And for those of you who remember back then, I never hid who I was. I wasn’t a lurker. I would go in and I would say ‘this is who I am’ not because I wanted everybody to go ‘ooo’ but I would say ‘talk freely.’ I said ‘I will leave the room if 1 of 2 things happen: if 1. you start talking about episodes you want to see because I can’t ethically listen to that or 2. if I become the centre of conversation ‘cause that’s not the point.’ I said ‘if I do that, don’t take offence, that’s just my own little ethics.’ But I was able to listen in. And so I do remember that at the beginning of this I told Rob this was going on and he said something to the effect of ‘yeah, well, it’s good they’re talking about the show but, you know, we don’t really care what they’re saying there, we’ve got to keep focused.’ I’m like ‘okay.’ And like an episode would come back and he would come out and come into my office and he’d say ‘so umm,… what do the fans think?’ And again, I was kind of looking for this because of my background so I was a little more aware of what was happening. The early discussions among the fans of where this was going was extremely interesting to me and I tried my best not to get involved in it because I wanted everybody to interpret it the way that they wanted to. I’m always amazed by the Xena fandom. I’ve been on other shows that have fandom and certainly a lot of my friends have huge fanbases on their shows, and I’ve said this when I’ve been on podcasts for other shows: the Xena fandom is the most incredible fandom that I’ve ever been involved with for a number of reasons. And one of them is that at the beginning - keeping in mind this was obviously in the middle 90’s - there was still some contentiousness as if people were trying to protect the girls from being lesbian. It’s like ‘we have to protect them, don’t say that!’ ‘Oh, okay, good, you’re going to protect me from what? Being a straight white male. Oh, thank you very much.’ So it was a little bit of that going on and there was some fire that went back and forth. I remember a few of the transcripts that were just so amazing. I kind of kept track of them. And what I started to see though with the Xena fans - which I loved - is that the people who wanted to maintain their shipper stance became friends. They began talking about it with respect to each other as opposed to ‘no, you’re that camp, I’m this camp’ and then the major contention was ‘do we ship Xena with Ares?’ And I’m like ‘okay, so what you’ve done is you’ve defaulted to the idea that she’s already with Gabrielle and now you’re just talking about a jealousy thing.’ And I’m like ‘that’s totally cool. I love that!’”

So the characters evolved. Now had they evolved in a different direction, well, we’d be having a different conversation here. Going back to the studio, one of the things that did come up was the studio did say ‘can you somehow remind people that, you know, Xena still likes guys and Gabrielle still likes guys.’ But they never said that they can’t like each other. And I’m thinking to myself ‘okay, what you’ve described to me is either the ultimate bisexual or what you’ve described to me is’ - and I don’t have a word for this ‘cause, you know, straight white male, how would I know this? - ‘is many of my friends who are a lesbian but denied that identification and fought themselves, and then finally came out - liberated themselves.’ So I said ‘you’re kind of describing that.’ And I remember thinking to myself ‘and that’s going to be Gabrielle.’ That she’s going to fight a lot of this internally. And so, you know, when we got to the Perdicus episode - with the marriage … you know we all get together and we would talk about how we’re going to put it together and some of us would come up with little things that go into somebody else’s script and it’s always the original writer that really is the owner of the script, but we always contribute things. And I remember we got to that thing and I’m like ‘okay, I know where I’m leaning on this’ and I’m going to lean into the curve on this one because what’s happening with Gabrielle is that she’s gone this far with Xena and suddenly this reminder of what her hidden past was - what her past was when she - well… you could say ‘denied’ -  there’s a time where - this is difficult for me because I’m not a gay woman so I can’t speak with authority from this. I can only say I’ve had friends that have gone through this - where their coming out process is so scary that sometimes they - what I call - ‘run home to mama.’ And mama is where they were - at least they could deal with it - it was familiar enough. So when Perdicus comes in,… she’s questioning a lot of things and she thinks ‘okay, and now I’m questioning where I am and why I’m here,… so I’m running home to mama because Perdicus represents my childhood, my past, my village.’ And that scene where Gabrielle and Xena have that discussion before Gabrielle goes off to marry Perdicus - again, I always remind myself I’m NOT that orientation, I’m NOT that gender, I’m NOT that - but that scene still sticks in my mind because it broke my heart because she’s looking right at the woman who is her destiny and she’s saying ‘I’m so scared of you because of what you’re going to reveal about me and so I’m going to run away to something I should never have been apart of.’ And I’ve seen people go through that so that scene still sticks in my mind. It’s literally in my mind. I see the entire image of that scene.”

HOST: “When you say that - obviously you’re not a gay woman but you know humans and you know people and at the end of the day those characters were very human and - I hate to say it, love is love - it’s very cliché, but it is, right? Of course, why wouldn’t you understand what those 2 character’s are feeling … Because you’re a human being who understands the concept of love. But I love what you said. It’s like, yeah, of course, Gabrielle knew what being married to Perdicus living in her old village would be like. Like you said - she could endure that. She’d been there. She understood it. If she stayed with Xena, it’s scary, it’s the unknown and it’s that great inner conflict in her. I hadn’t really thought about it but that scene is very heartbreaking and it’s got to be one of my favourites.”

STEVEN: “When she left the village that little girl was looking at adventure because she was bored. She had no idea what she was getting into on every level. Not just the action level, the adventure level, the danger level - but the emotional level. She had no idea. So then she got to a point where that all scared her. She was more scared of that than she was about the adventure and the danger. Warlords did not scare her the way that this scared her. And, you know, it was a huge turning point. Now whether you ship one way or the other way on this, it still works because she had to find her destiny. And I also make a little distinction in my mind that Gabrielle’s destiny was not to be with Xena. Gabrielle’s destiny was to be with herself and to love who she chose to love. It was to find her happiness and BOOM… it walks into her life. And that is the scariest thing that can happen to a person and it’s hard to admit it. So I’ve often described the relationship at the beginning as: because Xena was much more experienced Xena was much more focused on what she had won and lost in her life and she had a lot of repair work to do in her life. Gabrielle had a lot of growing to do. So when Xena and Gabrielle came together, I made this distinction: I said that Gabrielle loved Xena ‘cause ‘AWESOME! XENA! The legends, the things I’ve heard about you!’

So Gabrielle loved Xena… but Xena was IN LOVE with Gabrielle… from the moment they met.”

[olympusrising]

@amphipolisrising asked: i can handle myself.

"Oh I've no doubt, but me handling you...well that's just more fun," the god smirked as eyes ran over the warriors form. They soon returned to piercing blue orbs as he took a step forward, cautiously and aware of Xena's hands and where they were placed. Though she couldn't ( nor would she though that might have been some wishful thinking on his part ) kill him, he didn't enjoy being stabbed let alone sliced by the chakram.

Ares knew how far he could push the woman, but he also liked pushing the boundary. To see if he could get his hooks into her further and further, hoping that each time they met it would be it. That she would finally return to him and the life that she was meant to live. She was the greatest war lord, warrior, destroyer of nations that he had ever seen in all his years. The way she could cut down an entire army it was...delicious and made him yearn for every battle that would follow soon after. It's been years now since he had seen the warrior princess in true action and there was a deep need, still, for him to bring her back to that path.

"But if you wish to handle yourself in my presence...I wouldn't object," Ares murmured, brows arching and lips down turning into a playful curious pout.

[placeybo]

Changed

The target audience for this consists of exactly one person, who in all likelihood is never going to see it.

For anyone else who stumbles upon this, I apologize in advance for how none of this is going to make sense. Or rather– if you’ve ever seen the hilariously terribad animated crossover Hercules and Xena: The Battle for Mount Olympus, then it ‘makes sense’ as in you’ll probably be able to follow along with what’s happening and to whom. But as far as the question of “what on earth compelled you to even bother writing this” goes– I dunno what to tell ya, man. You just had to be there.

And to the singular audience member-- if you DO happen to see this and do choose to read it– I hope you get some enjoyment out of it. I hope life is being good to you these days. I’m sorry this took almost ten years to actually get written. And I’m sorry for everything else, too.

(Approx 2.6k words. Content warning for body horror; transformation horror)

Every day in Tartarus is uniformly miserable, and yet some days still manage to be worse than others. The monotony of her suffering comes to a roiling peak inside her until all Tethys wants is to scream until her throat boils away and to tear anything she can get her hands on to pieces: the walls of her prison, her companions, the whole world, herself. Dissolve it all to nothing and let primordial Chaos have it.

She never does anything with her aimless wrath but lay in a half-melted heap and seethe. On those days she never has the strength to do more; all she can do is wait for it to run dry and start building anew.

‘Days.’ She scoffs at herself. What a terrible joke. As though the word means anything down here, as though the sun’s ever seen this place. She doubts that Helios– or Selene for that matter, or whatever godling whelps those traitors might have ceded their domains to– ever spare a thought from up in their gaudy little carts for the four of them, or their cage.

Thinking about the high-and-mighty ease with which her supposed allies had turned their backs on their own kin and kind has her simmering with an old, familiar fury. It’s useless, of course, as all of her rage is; but it’s at least something to focus on other than the present moment, and how horrible it is to exist in it. She’s grateful for any distraction no matter how meager or unpleasant, and this particular grudge is so worn and revisited that it’s become almost comfortable.

She’s so enthusiastic about wallowing in the well-plumbed depths of resentment that she fails at first to notice the shift in the bleak atmosphere around her.

The limitless pressure that weighs down on her lessens by just the barest measure. The sluggish heat breaks– the crack is hair-thin, but a break is a break. There’s a feeling of welling up, of being carried along in a current and of being the current rushing forward, and she throws herself into it without hesitating even long enough to hope, or to question.

It draws her up and up endlessly, until the murk of Tartarus splits above her: a jagged wound open to blue-white light. It hurts to look at and it’s all she wants.

When she finally breaches the surface, there is no froth or fountain– she doesn’t emerge from water at all in fact, though she can hear the music of a flowing river close by. Instead she finds herself clambering inelegantly from a great fissure in the ground on her hands and knees.

She doesn’t spare a second thought for her escape route as it closes at her heels, or why it had been so different than before. It doesn’t matter. The sun is stirring a gentle current of warmth through her middle and a cool breeze contrasts it wonderfully as it ripples over her surface. Everything is soaked in color and light.

This second imprisonment had been so much shorter than the first, but already she’d started to forget what any of those little delights even were, just how good it is to be free.

“There you are. You certainly took your time coming up– one would think you wanted to stay in your cage.”

The perfect moment is fouled. Tethys snaps her gaze down to glare at the ground– she knows that toad-voice–

Hera stands before her, as haughty and disdainful as she remembers her. 

Tethys almost can’t believe it. Is it Hera who had called her up into freedom? Again?  Is this miserable excuse for a queen really standing there looking so pleased with herself, as though she isn’t just repeating the exact same scheme that almost knocked her off her stolen throne the first time?

Something between a snarl and a vicious grin ripples over Tethys’ face, and she raises her fist high. Sunlight refracts through it and scatters beautiful patterns of light over the ground. She hopes the old hag appreciates the sight, and her good fortune in general. She’s so eager, after all, to taste the consequences of hubris, and Tethys is all too happy to oblige her. She’ll give her enough to drown in.

Hera’s expression remains calm and smug. She doesn’t try to shield herself or flee, just makes a complicated gesture with her hands and begins to recite a long string of strange, jagged syllables.

Tethys’ blow never lands.

Agony swamps her the likes of which she’s never known, that no depth of her imagination has ever conjured even in her most vicious revenge fantasies. Words barely begin to encompass it. Even Tartarus pales in comparison.

She’s boiling, she’s burning– she’s going to billow away in a cloud of steam, too fragmented to ever reform. Even as she dissolves into the air she freezes too: deep within, parts of her lock up into unchanging solidity: spears of ice that carve screaming paths through her and mesh together into a torturous map of her body.

None of her is spared the feeling– it wraps a searing cage around her chest, builds an intrusive column up the length of her back. It slices down her limbs and even needles through her fingers and toes. It explodes behind her eyes, scalding away her capacity for thought. What little remains, she uses to hope that she’ll boil away to nothing after all. At least then it would be over.

As though to spite her for daring to think of a reprieve, a new torment drags her into its wake. Her surface congeals into a pliant but impermeable film that encases her entirely. It holds her in shape around those shards of frozen pain– trapping her with it– turning her very body into a new prison, caged up all alone with her suffering–

She surges against the smothering cocoon with the sudden wild strength borne by panic– it doesn’t yield. She keeps fighting anyway, churning fruitlessly until what’s left of her curdles and no longer obeys her will.

Please– Father above Mother below, I’ll do anything– She’ll shoulder any indignity, take on any thankless task, kneel before any Olympian paraded in front of her– anything anything anything if this will just end.

Make it stop please make it stop–!

Abruptly, it does.

As quickly as it had overcome her, the pain evaporates. There’s a lingering discomfort left behind, but it might as well be bliss in comparison. She can bear it.

As she tries to regain her bearings a strange ache blooms in her chest, crying out for a need unmet. It feels like instinct– but for what? It doesn’t make any sense–

The ache throbs urgently, sharpens. Her throat spasms– she chokes and gasps, drawing in a huge gust of air that swirls and settles into a hollow space inside her that has never been there before. Relief curls sweetly in its wake.

Something’s wrong.

Something’s wrong.

She pushes herself to sit up– she can’t remember when exactly she collapsed– and something about that doesn’t feel right either. Her body is stiff, its movements jerky and segmented, missing a graceful fluidity that she’s known for eons but only now truly recognizes because it’s gone.

Horror sinks through her, carrying with it a feeling that she recognizes as ‘cold’ but not in a way she’s ever felt before– a way that’s nothing like snowmelt or glacial streams or a spring welling up in a sunless cave.

The hands pressed into the ground beneath her aren’t hers.

She can feel them. The weight of her body bears down on them, dirt scratches against the palms, a pebble digs unpleasantly into a tender spot just below one thumb. They are not hers. These hands aren’t flawless, crystalline water– they’re–

Flesh. Mortal, animal meat. Bone and muscle and sinew wrapped in brown human skin and capped with pale shells of fingernail.

She gulps down another gust of air– a breath, because there are lungs squatting inside her that need to breathe. The sound it makes in her throat is atrocious. She surges to stand but folds back onto her knees in the dirt before she makes it. Despite the rigid struts of bone that are wedged into them now, her legs aren’t up to the task of supporting her. Dark hair spills over her shoulders, thick and so much heavier than it should be.

She paws at her face, barely caring about the dirt on her hands. More skin. It’s all skin, warm to the touch. Do her features feel the same? She can’t tell. Why would she ever have thought that she’d need to make a special note of what her face feels like?

One finger strays between her parted lips and the taste of dirt invades her mouth, bringing with it a horrible awareness of the space inside and how it’s beginning to dry out. She clamps her jaw shut and the tacky surface of her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth. The insides of her cheeks cling to her teeth. Nausea rolls through her and moisture floods out from under her tongue but it’s no relief because it’s wrong. It’s too thick, the texture slimy, and it tastes like flesh–

Some pulsing lump in her abdomen lurches– some organ. Acid heat climbs her throat and she struggles against the urge to gag. She can’t, she refuses to let it happen– this is something that mortals do, that animals do–

The ground bucks viciously, rattling the nausea right out of her. Hera has begun chanting again, her attention already elsewhere as though the curse she’s wrought on Tethys is inconsequential.

She tries to pay attention to what’s being said, but she understands the words no better than she had for the brief snippet before her senses had been overrun by pain. Perhaps she understands them even less– attempting to focus on them only seems to make the words more slippery.

She might assume that mortal ears just aren’t up to the task– but no– while she can find no meaning in them, she thinks she remembers their strange cadence. The eldest among her elders used to speak a language that sounded like this, her aunt Nyx most often of all– and even then the words had swum muzzy circles through her head. She’d never attempted to learn it– when and how had Hera?

Her thoughts scatter like breaking surf as the earth gives another great heave beneath her. With a deafening boom it rends apart again, spitting gouts of fire that she flinches from on reflex, an instinct that this delicate flesh knows even if she doesn’t. She feels unprotected and exposed– is this why humans bother with clothes?

A hand, glowing sulfurous yellow and radiating heat, bursts from the chasm and slams into the ground, its fingers scrabbling for purchase and leaving gouges in the dirt so wide that Tethys could almost lie down in them. The hand is familiar and yet alien, so huge compared to her now that it could pick her up as easily as a child with a doll.

Mnemosyne wrenches herself free of the fissure, flames bursting to life along her scalp and shoulders as they touch the open air. She goes still, the patch of ground she’s kneeling on beginning to smoke as she stares up at the sun with a slack mouth and wide eyes, like she too had almost forgotten it. 

The heat rolling off of her bakes the air so dry that Tethys’ next breath snags in her throat and she chokes. The sound catches Mnemosyne’s attention and she peers down at Tethys, tilting her head and blinking, puzzled by the sight of an apparently human woman sitting naked in the dirt beside her. There’s not a shred of recognition in her expression.

Any interest Mnemosyne might have had in an oddly placed human being is extinguished the instant Hera begins reciting the next dizzying string of ancient words. Mnem clearly remembers that horrible croak with about as much fondness as Tethys had, but she doesn’t spare a moment for questions or disbelief– her flames blaze higher and hotter she rears up, spreading over her back and arms, all the way down to her hands now curled into claws, her lips peeled back in a sharp-toothed snarl, ready to pounce–

The mantle of fire vanishes before she has the chance– not snuffed or blown out, just gone between one word and the next. Her expression of equal parts confusion and offense is almost comical until it collapses into horrified panic a moment later.

The light that has always glowed from within Mnemosyne– even, however faintly, in stagnant and airless Tartarus– gutters and rapidly fades. Abandoning her attack, she clutches at herself, wrapping her arms tight around her middle and curling over as though trying to keep it from escaping.

It does nothing. Mnemosyne continues to dim, and her color grows ashen.

The light flickers out.

Mnem makes a noise like steam being forced out of green wood as it burns– pitiable, helpless with fury and despair. The next moment she doubles over with such force that her forehead crashes against the ground, and she screams. 

The sound is so huge and loud that it hurts– Tethys’ head throbs and she wonders if it will split open just like the ground had. But before she even finishes the thought the noise has begun to dwindle– not because the pain inflicted on Mnemosyne is diminishing, but because Mnem herself is. Her shape caves inward like a burnt-out log collapsing into ash, reforming into a smaller version of itself that collapses again almost immediately. The cycle repeats again and again until Mnemosyne’s thrashing form is once again of a size with Tethys’. Hera’s voice drones on through her chant.

Cracks open up all over Mnemoysne’s dull, iron-gray surface. Pieces of it crumble away to reveal something soft and twitching underneath. Mnem’s eyes are pinched shut, steam hissing from their corners. The sound of her voice is no longer the devouring shriek of a flame– it’s more like the howl of a wounded beast.

A huge swathe of her back and side sloughs off all at once, leaving what it had kept hidden exposed to the air, translucent and raw.

It’s with a feeling too exhausted to be true horror that Tethys realizes Mnem’s light hasn’t yet been fully extinguished after all. The last of it smolders inside that unfinished flesh like dying coals, perfectly mimicking the shape of human bones. Tethys has always found Mnemosyne’s favorite little party trick of casting an illusory skeleton over herself to be tasteless and tiresome, but this– seeing her ridiculous diversion forced onto her, all too real– is obscene.

The last brittle remnants of Mnem’s real form fall away and the naked tangle of muscle and tendon starts to set, going opaque and snuffing out the last bruise-red dregs of her light for good this time. Mnemosyne collapses onto her side, shuddering.

Skin crawls over her in irregular patches in a manner like rapidly healing burns: angry red fades to weeping yellow-pink leaches to ivory pale. Mnem claws at it as though she could peel it away to find her real body hidden underneath. The weals left by her nails hardly even last a few seconds before fading. Dark red hair pushes out from her scalp, and it also refuses to yield when she tries to tear it away.

And then it’s over.

Mnemosyne– who for all she’d always been loud and irksome and too much had also been powerful and fearsome and so, so proud– lays in a heap of hiccuping sobs, in the dirt of the mortal world, trapped in a mortal body, as Tethys is.

“There now. That ought to make the two of you a bit more open to negotiation.”

[captainatarime]

A Surprise Visit (2/3)

[11:15 p.m., Hagglefish Market]

"HA! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!?"

Atarime was fighting in the Hagglefish Market, The Cohozuna launched powerful attacks at Atarime, making her almost impossible for her to dodge them

She fought to prevent the Cohozuna from entering the city, but her attacks had almost no effect on the Cohozuna

Until, the Cohozuna launched an attack too fast preventing Atarime from dodging it, this caused her to fall to the ground, then, Pearl spoke

"Alright Cohozuna! I think you've done too much already!" Pearl said "Now it's my turn..."

Pearl got off the Cohozuna and took one of the chains she had, now she was going to fight against Atarime, she didn't have a weapon like Atarime, but now that she was half Salmonid, she had claws on her nails, so she could use them to attack her

"How...?" Atarime thought, getting up from the ground and picking up her sword again "How did this happen...? Pearl... i need to save her from Tartar!"

"It's my turn now! You know... it would be so boring if Cohozuna kills you! Because... I want to do it myself" Pearl said

Quickly, Pearl started to attack her, throwing quick attacks at her, Atarime barely managed to dodge a few, but she ended up with several cuts

"She's so fast! I have to concentrate and dodge her attacks!" Atarime thought of a plan to stop Pearl until she came up with an idea...

Atarime managed to attack Pearl by launching a powerful attack at her, The attack was so powerful that Pearl fell near the sea, but, this only gave Pearl an idea to defeat her... so... without her noticing... she took the chain that she had grabbed before...

Atarime quickly approached Pearl and put her sword in front of her so she wouldn't get up

"Pearl. I can help you with this! I can help you without fighting! just please... let me help you...!" Atarime was about to take Pearl's arm to remove the bracelet

"Heheh... Atarime..."

"I don't want your help."

Without her noticing. Pearl had tied the chain that she had taken before starting the battle on one of Atarime's feet and dragged her into the sea

Both fell into the sea, Atarime tried to swim to the surface, but Pearl dragged her back with the chain, in the water, Pearl could move faster and breathe underwater, gaining more advantage

Atarime didn't know what to do, so she tried to continue fighting Pearl, but her attacks were now slower due to being in the sea

"Your attacks are useless under the sea! I could easily kill you here!" Pearl grabbed Atarime around her neck with the chain

"But that would be very boring... wouldn't it...?" Pearl, using her claws, hurt Atarime's left eye, making her wound bigger and making her unable to see with that eye

Atarime, in an attempt to get free, attacked Pearl with her sword in one of her arms, this made Pearl scream in pain and let go of Atarime, she quickly swam to the surface

"YOU... YOU! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!" Pearl yelled

"COHOZUNA! NOW!"

"Huh!?" In the surface, the Cohozuna saw Atarime and quickly launched a powerful attack at her, Atarime couldn't react in time and was hit by the Cohozuna, the attack was so strong that it caused Atarime to crash into the Hagglefish Market, she fell near a building, she was left very weak and unable to continue fighting

The Cohozuna was going to kill Atarime but again Pearl stopped it and said "No. I'll do it." while she was going to where Atarime had fallen to

Atarime tried to get up but one of her legs was trapped between the bricks that had fallen on her, preventing her from moving, she tried to look for her sword and saw that it had fallen far from her and her bag too

From her bag, Sparkles came out, Atarime tried to go with her but Pearl stabbed her with her own sword in her shoulder so she wouldn't get up or move again, Atarime screamed in pain and Pearl looked at her angry

"Pathetic... you couldn't stop me or Cohozuna. You are weak." Pearl said "At least Xena will be happy when i kill you."

"X...X-Xena?" Atarime said

Sparkles saw that Pearl was going to kill Atarime so, she tried to attack Pearl, but Pearl saw her and grabbed her

"Oooh? What is this? A Smallfry?" Pearl said

"P-PEARL-! D-DON'T-!" Atarime said "P-please...! L-let her go...! D-don't hurt h-!"

"AAH-!" Pearl kicked Atarime in the stomach, causing her to cough up blood

"Heheh... It would be a shame if i killed her in front of you... right? But you know what? I don't care what you want... i'm going to kill her after i kill you!"

"N-no! S-sparkles!" Atarime screamed

"Goodbye Atarime." Pearl was going to kill Atarime... When suddenly...

"STOP!"

"HUH!?" Pearl turned immediately when she heard someone scream, Then, a light appeared behind her, there were several helicopters, all from Grizzco industries, they had come to help Atarime

"WHAT!? I-IT CAN'T BE-!" Pearl said

[keyofjetwolf]

WHO IS NOT TO LOVE IN THIS ENTIRE EXCHANGE

Callisto flipping through so many emotions, quickly and constantly. She’s a wheel in a slot machine, spinning so fast you have the impression of forms, you can vaguely make out the possibilities, but you never know where it’s going land and what you’re going to get.

Gabrielle, a seething pit of hatred, boiling over and not caring if the only thing she can burn is herself, she can’t even TRY to know where to begin to process all the things she’s feeling about Callisto. It’s no wonder, really, that Gabrielle embraced pacifism so hard, and how ultimately doomed it was for her.

And then Xena, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them. The threat to Gabrielle is closing in on all sides, including from Gabrielle herself. Leading me to what may be my favourite bit:

XENA SITTING THE FUCK DOWN AND LETTING THEM WORK IT OUT

Xena’s talked Gabrielle into going this far, and it speaks volumes for both of them that they got here without a hell of a lot of drama. There’s nothing Xena can say now, though. These are Gabrielle’s issues, this is Gabrielle’s fight. Xena can be, and will be, on-hand to make sure it doesn’t go too far, but she can’t tell Gabby how to come to terms with this. This confrontation between these two is long overdue, and Xena knows from intense personal experience that the only way out is through. So she sits, and watches, and trusts Gabrielle to figure it out, and stays ready to catch her if she starts to fall.

[tunemyart]

OKay okay okay so I’m here to talk about yet another way XWP blows my mind by subverting narrative tension - and in the gutsiest, yet completely unobtrusive (and therefore completely underrated!!!) way after going to all the trouble of establishing the vision and Xena’s terror of it in early S4. 

Just to recap - we first see the vision (or rather, Xena first sees the vision) in Sin Trade II (4x02), where it’s Alti’s worst gambit to try to psychically kill Xena - bc nothing could give her more will to live than the sudden revelation that Gabrielle is alive. Not even the fact that Gabrielle is dying in said vision. That’s a problem for another day. 

We spend the next few episodes dealing with getting Gabrielle back (alive!!) and the show back to a new baseline - six whole episodes, blissfully vision-free. But then, abruptly in Crusader (4x08) - bam, there’s the vision again. Xena looks shellshocked in the aftermath, bowled over for the first time by the implications of a future Gabrielle being staked to a cross by Roman soldiers with her love for Xena on her lips. The entirety of Crusader is about Xena’s attempt to subvert that vision while keeping it secret from Gabrielle. And she’s still desperate enough in the end about keeping it secret that this amazing exchange happens: 

XENA: Did you tell [Gabrielle] about the vision?

NAJARA: No. That would hurt her, and I don’t ever want to do that. That’s your job.

And so given the sudden attention to and emphasis on the horror of the vision - flipped suddenly on its head from the triumph and elation it initially represented - you expect a few more episodes at least where the main tension is how Xena is trying, while knowing ultimately that she’ll fail, to keep Gabrielle in the dark about it. Heck, I think the temptation for a lot of storytellers would be to drag out that tension to the bitter end, until the moment before the vision became inevitable. From a less meta perspective, I think the temptation for Xena until very, very recently would have been to do exactly this too. And so we the audience are trained in several ways to expect everything that doesn’t happen. 

Because the next episode opens on the vision - but then immediately fades in on Xena and Gabrielle discussing it. No build up, no teasing, nothing. Just straight from that terrified did you tell her about the vision? to the immediate realization that Xena just told her about the vision herself. And offscreen!!

I’m obsessed with this choice! I’m obsessed with how quietly it was made, off camera, out of the story, no emphasis on Xena angsting about whether or how to tell her, no emphasis on Xena even making the decision to tell her. Just - here’s the vision, and here’s Gabrielle calmly asking Xena if she’s sure that Gabrielle is dying in it. 

Because this is where their relationship is now! And it’s glorious! And it would have been so, so, so incredibly easy for them to have rehashed “Xena keeps a secret in the name of protecting Gabrielle” from S3 and the Rift, but they not only resist doing so - they make a point of doing the complete opposite. Bc both Xena and X/G’s relationship is so far beyond that now.

I’m also struck so much rewatching this season more intentionally how much it is a tragedy in the classical sense of it - and how apropos for this superficially silly show set in and drawing on ancient Greek myth and storytelling convention. Gabrielle spends the entirety of the first episode she knows about the vision railing against Xena’s fatalistic attitude toward it. “I can’t afford to believe in your vision!” she finally tells Xena, saying either she’ll prove Xena wrong and they’ll live or Xena will prove her wrong and they’ll both die, but either way, she’s not going to live as though her death is fixed, not even out of loyalty to or concern for Xena. 

Which is the real tension of the season! i.e. how the choices Xena and Gabrielle make with full knowledge of what’s coming for them, whether they fully believe in it or not, will inevitably lead them to their deaths. 

And my God! It’s automatically so much more interesting than Xena trying to keep things from Gabrielle! The choice to lay everything out in the open and deal with it, messily and with conflicting worldviews and opinions but always with the agreement of what the biggest thing at stake is - their relationship - is just so bold. I can’t get over the choices this season makes; I can’t get over the ways it chooses to keep upping the stakes; I can’t get over how revolutionary it feels to see this on popular programming, let alone between two women.

@neornithes​ I know you have thoughts too adjacent to these eps if you wanna add on! (Also y’all go read all her fic but especially relevant, this one.)