#how he was even afraid to SPEAK.
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do you guys ever think about how keefe's biggest fear is his mother changing him and then. it happened.
#it's just that i was rewatching the hunger games#and that one quote where peeta told katniss “i just don't want them to change me” and katniss was like “change you how?”#and peeta was like “i don't know. turn me into something I'm not.”#and if you know what'll happen to him in the later movies...the quotes HURT.#and imo it fits keefe sooooo well too#we see him being afraid of gisela changing him into what she wants since neverseen#we've seen him confiding to sophie about it multiple times- how he doesn't want to be something he's not#and in legacy he became something he's not.#right IN FRONT of sophie.#we see how what gisela did to him affected him so badly in unlocked and stellarlune#how he was forced to chug down multiple elixirs even though it hurt so badly#how he accidentally hurt his friends and love#how he forced himself to isolate from everyone even though it was the LAST thing he wanted to do#how he was even afraid to SPEAK.#keefe from neverseen would have the biggest mental breakdown in the planet if he knows that gisela's plan will succeed later on#i think peeta and keefe are so different yet so similar#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#keefe sencen
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Devil bottles takes control of your dog for revenge clawing and biting its horrible
not my fuckin dog man leave him out of this
#ask#anon#my art#my characters#boe#boe tai marrow#budd#i couldnt not draw this. i couldnt not.#im afraid the only attack Budd actually has is sneezing#and yapping but thats not a weapon#he could bite but hes only got one tooth#speaking of bottles revenge. im kinda surprised i havent really seen anyone stream it from start to finish before.#i know theres videos on youtube but ive not attempted to watch one all the way through#like its such a dumb fun gimmick. granted you need a code to even enable it but still#also yes i had to make sure i included the egg radar. the second most important part to bottles revenge.#its also surprising to me how complete the implimentation is despite no official way to play it. atleast afaik.#ik you cant control bosses but i think that makes sense#anyway thank you for the ask anon :) this was very silly. bottles leave my doggy alone though man. fuck.
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Sometimes I realize how much self-indulgent dirkjohn I made and it's like. Genuinely impressive to me. I'm impressed by my own art/fic and even analysis posts because damn, I miss my own energy, you mean I was able to just make shit up because I tend to be a little bit bonkers when I'm really passionate about something? For real?
#i did it with other things too but dirkjohn is one thing that keeps coming back when i least expect#they live in my head like freeloaders and never leave#just get quiet until i think about them literally out of nowhere#i was kinda spacing out in a bus the other day because there wasn't much to look at#and BOOM suddenly I intercept a dirkjohn braincell#they were talking about how to break the news about their relationship to the others btw#today I thought about earth c john accidentally conditioning dirk to be more honest#which just made dirk speak his mind and be a little more snarky in conversations he'd normally overthink in one way or another#john enjoys the mutual teasing and banter with this slightly more bitchy dirk who doesn't hold himself back#but other people like dave and jake aren't exactly prepared for his douche side even though they're supposed to be#but dirk was too afraid to disappoint them in any way#so he was actively biting his tongue on many occasions#dirk's most honest thoughts are mixed blessings#...and here's what I mean by 'freeloaders'#they just live their lives in my head#good for them#dirkjohn
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#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⸺ behind the scenes. ⊰ ooc ⊱#me thinking about everything with hsr yaya when he's a mourning actor#the loss of his mom and gallagher and misha and how he leaves penacony to mourn among the stars#how his songs have gone from something festive and cheery and fun to melancholic and grieving#how he sings and sings and sings until his voice goes raw and he loses it. only to repeat this whenever his voice recovers#but it's never the same as it used to be anymore due to how much he's damaged his vocal cords#how he fucking HATES the nameless & acheron. how he trusted lumine with his whole heart.#how he told her about his mother and her being a self-annihilator and the dream is basically her hospice.#only for him to lose her forever. how albedo reaches out to kaeya as a memokeeper. tries to be there for him while recording memories.#but yaya is just so jaded and numbed. he's tired. he's lost so much. he can't lose more if he keeps himself away.#he doesn't care if everything was for the greater good. what good *is* the greater good if he cannot keep someone for once.#and then i think about yaya and haitham. because holy shit ven has filled me with brainworms on their potential dynamic.#how haitham & yaya understand each other more than anyone else. how yaya is able to navigate convos with haitham just fine#and even finds him to be hilarious with his humor even if most people dont get it. dont get haitham.#how haitham can see yaya's masks and his different smiles. his different personas.#how haitham would know khaenriahn and would speak it with yaya and how much it devastates yaya in the best way.#how they send each other little gifts. how they sign off their letters to each other.#how they think of each other in their day-to-day lives#how *liberated* they both feel being near someone who understands them while also being afraid of being known#i just. im IN MY FEELINGS#IM GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM
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idk how to explain it really well, but what makes me obsessed with teenji and generally what sets apart lan wangji from the usual cold, stoic and inexpressive hot character is the reveal, early on, that he is just a little guy
#like. i've said it many times why teen wangxian are SO important for what makes wangxian appealing#and why even in AUs i don't like having that time period of their lives removed#but it's esp important for humanizing lan wangji and making him sooo much more... realistic#and it's why it KILLS ME how the lotus seed pod novel extra is one that i've seen a lot of people skip#because it's also one of the few moments in the novel where we follow lan wangji's pov!!!!#and my goddd. MY GODDD#HE'S JUST A LITTLE GUY!!!!!#lwj ruined this love interest archetype for me#cause authors are TOO AFRAID to break the hard and cold and stoic exterior#when that's exactly what i wanna see#we learn early on that lwj is just as much as a disaster as the rest of us#and that's DELICIOUS#modao#lace speaks
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#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#character introspection.#ahh... something about this is so accurate NGL like sadly barton will always have this-#immense anger in him i feel like no matter what he does to try to contain it / surpress it and this is-#because it has literally become a part of who he is as a person. ans by that i mean he ALWAYS has a sense-#of rage stirring within him that is just waiting to be unleashed and that is both kind of disheartening as well as scary#including for him. but barton is also used to it so it's like... he's grown a bit desensitized to it at the same time#even though that's arguably pretty sad to think about. barton is just not good at processing his emotions in healthy-#ways so his sadness is commonly turned into anger and the rare occasions where he does feel guilt / shame?#they also come off as anger because it is a much easier emotion for barton to process than sadness#so yeahhh. man's has definitely got some issues that he needs to work out regarding how you don't need to be-#afraid of getting sad especially if you have a good support system to help you through it... but he just JSJSJ refuses to-#show those kinds of feelings around people for a prolonged amount of time bc he doesn't trust that people won't use it-#to try to 'take advantage of him' so to speak since barton himself has cheered people up for that sole purpose before. thus it's all like-#one big vicious cycle y'know bc he fears the very thing that he practices.
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last post for the night i swear
the real tragic part about the whole science fair incident is that perpetual motion is impossible to achieve
ford’s machine would have never worked, regardless of whether or not stan had interacted with it
(warning i accidentally wrote an approximately 30-tag dive into ford’s character in the tags don’t click see more if you don’t want to read that)
anyway!! good night everyone ❤️🩹
#it’s also tragic because ford didn’t know#the impossibility of perpetual motion was discovered far before that point and yet he didn’t know#i mean. ‘he’s actually just so arrogant that he thought he could break the laws of physics’ doesn’t make any sense#his reaction to the situation really didn’t match that interpretation as far as i can tell#i don’t think it’s just a ‘oh no! my dream school (that i was essentially shoved into pursuing)!’ type deal#here’s what i’m thinking:#fact one- stan and ford were seemingly already drifting apart by this point in time. this is important to note#fact two- it’s really emphasized to him that he’s smart. that’s all they say about him really- that’s he’s a genius#fact three- filbrick does not even care enough about stanford to say his name. he calls ford his ‘ticket out of this dump’#these last two points were likely heavily emphasized to him throughout his childhood#filbrick found out ford was smart and thought stan wasn’t. so ford became his plan to make money#ford is heavily bullied for his weirdness. his hands and his interests. being smart could ‘make up’ for this in his mind#he wants to leave. he outright states this- he doesn’t feel like he belongs and he wants to go somewhere he does (his own bermuda triangle)#so what essentially happened- i believe- is that ford internalized all these things#that his weirdness is bad and that he makes up for it by being smart and that he’s meant to make his family money-#-and that he wants out#his machine fails. this is a slap in the face to him. perpetual motion is impossible?#but why didn’t he know that? he’s supposed to be smart isn’t he? if he isn’t smart then what the hell is he?#what redeeming qualities does he have? how is he supposed to help his family now? he’s a failure isn’t he?#he spots a familiar bag. stan was here. suddenly he has an excuse- a reason to believe it wasn’t his fault#(and there’s really nothing to be at fault for but he doesn’t think that)#it’s easier to blame it on stan because of how distant they’ve grown. he can’t read stan as easily#and his reaction is suspicious- did he actually sabotage the project? is it…actually not ford’s fault at all?#they don’t speak to each other again for another decade#stan because he’s afraid of rejection#ford because he doesn’t want to face his own insecurities and emotions about everything#it’s easier to pretend that he wants to be famous and isn’t just doing it to make it his father money#and it’s easier to distract himself with things he loves than to feel all the guilt and hurt and frustration#and that. is perfect for bill to use to manipulate him#that’s my thoughts anyway. sorry for the rant was not expecting that to happen
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"Never apologize for putting stupid in its place."
- t.
#my sister-in-law tracey said this to me in a message last night in regards to me snapping on my dad at her and her husband's#football watch party friday night#i posted about how i didnt feel sorry for it but i did feel sorry that it may have made shit weird for everyone else#her and my brother messaged me separately to not only tell me it was okay but to say they were glad i said something and they#were very happy i had come over and they hoped i had had a good time otherwise 😭#i very rarely snap at my dad - and when i do it's more passive and never in public - so this was different for me#but i'm beyond done allowing him to say whatever offensive shit he wants#be it transphobic or racist or just shit-talking my mom (one of the worst of his many offenses)#i don't think i even said much but the fact that i said anything at all instead of A. ignoring him or B. leaving the situation myself was#apparently very welcome and THIS is one of the many reasons jim (my brother) and tracey (his wife) are some of my favorite family members#maison speaks#note: i have spent my life afraid of my dad and that hasn't changed much even in my 30s but my patience is so goddamn thin when it#comes to bullshit and like.. i dont live with him. i don't depend on him at all. sometimes he gives me money and i appreciate it#but it's not like.. a necessity#so what's he gonna do?? the only power dude has over me still is the remaining fear and panic#but i'm backed up by people now#so#everything will be okay#probably lmao
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a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!
by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE
#clai speaks#clai's ocs#ignore the doodle of cyril though that isnt final. it was part of me Trying to come up with something for him so i just scribbled whatever#its not what i want him to look like but yhe doodle was so cute i wanted to keep it. maybe i'll turn it into a different oc idk#the laguardia siblings!!! and clear's here too ig#anyone who's been written here whether they have a design or name or not have some kind of character established already#like while i have a couple concepts for a rock trainer nothing is concrete yet so that spot remains empty for now#but even though chase doesnt even have a finalized name or position i know he's a gifted psychic who just uses his powers to do art#mago and colbur are brothers and run their gym together like tate and liza. first explicitly dual type gym!#(striaton gym not counted bc you only fight one of the triplets there)#chip and cassidy are also brother and sister#corey and kalin are cousins#mago and colbur run a berry farm and cafe. cole runs a pizza parlor. polly makes jewelry out of bug-type pkmn silk and stuff#cassidy's research centers on tm/hm development. unnamed dragon trainer is a costume designer#corey is an actor so good at her job people joke that she's being possessed by her characters. kalin is a mischievous ballet dancer#chip i'm pretty happy with. he's supposed to be like a youngster that grew up and became more experienced#he used to be shy before setting out on his journey but grew immensely from it and became champion#goes back to the first town and mentors the new trainers bc he knows how scary it is to set out on a journey for the first time#hides his champion status so that the kids aren't afraid to challenge him#i didnt want to go too detailled bc it is super late HSIBFIF I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP LIKE THREE HOURS AGO#i just really want to share these bc these concepts have just been sitting in my notes for like a year?#over a year. i started this some time after making alto#point is i've been sitting on these ideas way too long but designing them so slowly i dont want to wait to talk about them anymore#this chart is so empty rn but i will finish it!!! one day!!!!
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.
#i told my roommate's psychologist father about how my therapist broke up with me via text without providing referrals#and he says that was really poor treatment and is called ''abandonment'' in the field and my response was ''it's fine im used to it''#so um. IM FINE LATELY. apparently. i have an appt with a prospective new therapist next week lmao#like her communication with me had totally fallen off as well and im screaming about it internally a little bc like#i knew this was not kosher but i was blaming myself for having slow progress#which like. no shit i was having alow progress she was cancelling on me every other week.#but oh no said my inner voice no she doesn't want to keep treating you because you're stuck. it's a you problem#like i understand that she was Going Through It but like she's the professional in this situation#i have sympathy but i also feel really hard done by#she basically ghosted me#and im just frog in a slow boiling pot (yes i know that's not real) every time im in a less than ideal situation where i should stand up#for myself bc im so ready to blame myself for the way im being treated and so afraid of retaliation if i speak up that it just happens to m#and i don't even know it until it's done with#and someone else points it out. or like i know it but i haven't allowed myself to be conscious of it yet.#it just makes me so mad that im like this bc what it means is that i tried so many times growing up to voice#things that were not okay with me and i was shut down so often and so dismissively that eventually i just#decided everything was my fault and became passive so i couldn't mess anything up
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it's mindnumbing to me that everyone has already decided that they're gonna let Biden win the primaries and aren't even considering a possibility where he doesn't win even after his approval ratings have fallen to some of the lowest levels for any president in history. We're all having these debates about whether we should vote for him in the general to keep trump out or if we should abstain but like why are we even jumping to that??? Vote Williamson in the primaries. We're all doing that way right? RIGHT??? You wanna talk about lesser of two evils but aren't even considering the candidate that at least supports SOME sort of ceasefire? (yes even though it is severely lacking) Stop playing the same strategy the democratic party has been playing for decades. Stop just assuming that the centrist borderline republican is the only electable candidate in the democratic party, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
#mine#I know I'm screaming into the void right now but it's so bizarre to me that every conversation I've had about this#so many people have already resigned to 'well trump will still be worse so I guess I'm voting biden'#CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN WE GET TO IT WE'RE NOT AT THE GENERAL YET#I'm not ignorant I know that the primaries probably won't go how I want them to#but we're not even gonna try?#it's like people are afraid of speaking against biden during the primaries because they fear it'll embolden trump during the general#like I try to talk about how we can't vote for biden and need to vote for a real progressive or at least the closest thing we have#and biden is NOT the closest thing we have even in this shithole of an election#and the conversation still keeps coming back around to trump#ignore trump!#he's not in the fucking democratic primaries!#he is not a factor in this moment#deal with the decision we have right in front of us right now stop getting distracted
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“Happy July 9th to those who celebrate” also known as “go cry in a corner Samlaena stans”😅😭because I don’t know about y’all but Last Kiss💜gets me🩶every🖤dang time☠️
#The Assassin’s Blade#The Assassin and the Empire#Sam Cortland#Celaena Sardothien#Samlaena#Aelin and Sam#Maasverse#Swifties#Last Kiss#July 9th#Speak Now TV#TOG series#TAB#I just miss him and them and her with him and before#songs that make me think of them cry over him & because it reminds me of fictional characters & asssociating characters with songs is danger#WHY DID IT END LIKE THIS#beloved#fangirl problems#WHY is it never I love you and ALWAYS I hate packing and THEN SHED LOVED SAM MORE THAN ANYONE ugh I blame booktok#I’ll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes and then QOS with her finding & wearing his shirts#all that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss never thought we’d have a last kiss#Hope it’s nice where you are😭😭😭 and then he says get up Celaena with a smile AGHHHHHHHHHHHH#I need to go read Rowaelin EoS and regain my sanity again#but then it’s like her and Rowan going to the grave with the pebbles#I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep “can I sleep tonight yes#don’t mind me just crying over Sam again like a true Rowaelin Stan because even Aelin cried over it too with Rowan and ugh this series#I blame booktok for the I am Sam Cortland and I am not afraid audio making me think of him worried over her yet relieved she isn’t there#he didn’t even get to die w her just knowing in relief & grief she wasn’t there cause she was safe & she’d be furious but she’d live#she trusted him & he failed but he didn’t fail her & she’d lose him but she’d live & it was f-Arobynn & every piece of it kills me on repeat
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im so serious some t*m drake stans are so misogynistic when it comes to stephanie brown I'm not even kidding holy shit
#jay speaks#sorry. its the truth#turn tim into the victim all you want to appease your projected victim complex can we at least leave steph alone tho#like. woooooooow#ur poor little helpless little white queer boy. and the toxic abusive ex girlfriend of his. good riddance amirite#im sorry guys i cannot do this anymore. i am at my limit#some peoples attitudes towards steph are just soooooo misogynistic its insane#all to uphold and make a white (only recently confirmed) queer boy look better by comparison. what a breakthru guys ur geniuses#never before seen im in awe#i say all of this as someone who likes tim too btw. he is literally one od my faves#he is higher on my list than steph is. but like. come on guys#are we just going to forget about how much of a garbage boyfriend tim was to steph#or how badly he treated her even when they weren't dating 💀 hello#did we read the same comics. i won't say steph was perfect but like tim was an asshole lol#she was a teenaged girl and im afraid that was mostly her biggest offense. tim was a little misogynist god love him#both were young and stupid and teenagers. w/e. don't act like steph was the sole bad actor tho even in recent comics#sorry tim wasn't written to be as much of a victim as u would have liked#tag rant#no actually. gotta add. don't we just love putting down a woman to uplift the treasured mlm ship#and make it seem better. like the better option. isnt it fun to do that right#banging my head against the wall im so done with this
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actually considering how much indirect impact Jin Chul had on Jin Woo’s overall living as a hunter experience starting right off
Solo Leveling but Jin Chul is a main protagonist-narrator on sidelines simply because he knows but can’t do anything. He’s aware of everything in their world yet can’t do anything because beside his knowledge/clairvoyance he’s pretty much an ordinary government worker who simply kinda won powers lottery to stand on top of A rank.
Because of that he knows the deal with Jin Woo and while he doesn’t want him to go through such experience and feels bad because he does kinda use him, they still need him to save humanity from certain doom.
Jin Chul knows about this world, how it works and what will happen with it, yet he literally can’t do anything himself with that knowledge. He just wonders why he was the one to receive such gift/curse because knowing that there is a future where Hunter Sung succeeded among millions of fail endings starts to drive him insane, because he’s pretty much the one orchestrating events course and one wrong decision or move on his side will unavoidably hard lock them all to a bad end.
The way it literally ends up as ‘I’m a side character in story that knows the plot so I must take care of overpowered main character to avoid certain doom!’ type of novel and Jin Chul just having almost full on breakdown hysteria from stress and absurdity of it all, because truly, his life is a trashy novel plot for a quick read if you think about it
#solo leveling#woo jin chul#sung jin woo#he’s doing god’s work by playing ‘Princess Rising Project’ game but it’s IRL and pretty much decides the fate of humanity#yep definitely no pressure#absolutely no pressure only that failure means unavoidable doom#and you have only one try#he can’t even speak about it to someone#without sounding like he gone insane#even tho he can attest he’s slowly losing his mind#he can potentially tell about it to jin woo without sounding like an insane person but no one cancelled the butterfly effect#he’s afraid of how much jin woo will change fate if he knows his future#jin chul knowing who when and how will die and he can’t intervene#because it will alter events too much and it all will go out of his already shallow control
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fuming over that person who was like “obviously arthur’s worst and most prominent character trait is cowardice” like yes ok he is a coward but also what about the STUBBORNNESS. what about the CONCERNING levels of obsession and fixation. this is “invents his own new arm” “manhunting his best friend across the state” arthur we’re talking about. if he isn’t going to laser focus on something until he runs himself into the ground he’s just not cc sorry
#the nemesis speaks#msa analysis#also i will point out most of the stuff arthur is afraid of is entirely reasonable. everything wants to maim and kill him#two separate inciting incidents hinge on arthur going 'hey let's not go in there' and vivi Not Listening#and then someone dies and/or they wake up a murder ghost#and don't even get me started on the mystery fear. you've all heard that one a million times already#gd i'm msaposting i need to go to bed#my point is he's not even that much of a coward he's just seen enough shit to know how this goes down#and would prefer Not To#it's basic pattern recognition at this point
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fic moodboard concept in honor of @merry-the-cookie birthday: the mashlum college au
growing up, Ashton always thought that if he's lucky enough he'll find the love of his life sooner or later, someone who would love him with all the good and bad that comes with him.
what he didn't expect was to find two of them.
at his fucking college.
those two came into his life in the form of one Michael Clifford, the cute guy from his illustration class he decided to take to broaden his horizons, and one Calum Hood, the hot football player who's also kind of a nerd and best friend since childhood of, you guessed it, that same Michael.
luckily for him, they both feel the same way.
#whoohooo guess who's birthday it is!!!!! here's my humble gift to you my friend#hey remember your college mashlum au. im sure you do. obviously I DO. always thinking about them yk? how could i not#they're just cute boyfriends who do boyfriends activities ok!!!!! obviously after all the angst they go through until they got together#cause they're fools who won't speak up#do they both like me???? YES YES THEY DO#love all around for these three#mike and ash are both art majors that's how they met correct? they bond over that and flirt over class#mike and cal are best friends since childhood and there was always a want for something more but afraid to fuck it up#cal and ash meet through mike and how can they not like each other they're already whipped#this all just. works. they work together <3 why have two when you can have THREE!!!! the more the merrier#mashton will go to all of cal's games cheer the loudest even when they don't understand what's happening they're just excited for their boy#mike and ash will draw a lot of all three of them. alonse and together and all sort of stuff#i can see calum pouting cause he wants to draw them too :( but that boy is not an Artist at all so the best he can do is stick figures#mashton loves it <3 they hang it on the fridge#ok teresa i hope you like this cause this is for u my friend i hope you have the vest day love you#gonna schedule this for midnight your time cause why not!#mashlum#5sos moodboard#teresa
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