#how he was locked in gay baby jail

[goldenglitzer]

It's kinda interesting to think abt how fan theories in TOH have changed between the end of Season 1 and the end of Season 2, as more and more things have been revealed to us.

Season 1: "Will Lumity be canon? Will they get together before the show's finale? Is Belos a Human? What if Good Witch Azura is a real person, and is a time-travelling Lumity child?"

Season 2: "The single most important event in canon was a knife fight between two white Puritans 350 years ago, Alador and Darius are exes, Belos has killed at least 50 clones of his own brother." Meanwhile no one even wants to touch the thousand-year drama between a race of space-time gods, a 5-year-old alien with creative mode, and that weird fucking owl-dog.

[alllgator-blood]

I call this one "found family but it goes horribly wrong in an irreparable way" :)

I've been doing a lot of cotl comics but I kinda lost my comic making endurance after not working on art since last september, so I made this to help me flex my art muscles. Apologies for the watermarks lmao they kinda kill the mood but I've already had people repost my art when I put it on reddit so...might as well get the credit if my stuff is gonna be reposted regardless. RAMBLE INCOMING!!

Thinking about how shamura was most likely the one to find + raise their adopted siblings and help them survive the mass deicide that happened thousands of years before....OUUGH. I have so many ideas for comics that take place when half the bishops were still lil kids. I have one in progress right now actually. But it just hurts when I remember how it all ends- they loved their family for so long and yet they credit their love as what caused it to fall apart!!! The lore of the bishops only sunk in when I was dealing with my own heavy sibling angst, and I was like wow....shamura supported the sibs so much they accidentally encouraged their brother into being a heretic, and couldn't close pandora's box in time to save him or the rest of the family. They blame themself for the past 1,000 years and seem to be totally okay with dying for what they did?? Like when they get sent to the shadow realm they tell you to "finish the job" instead of leaving them in purgatory. And despite being the bishop of war, they are the only bishop to not have a "desperate" phase where their attacks get more brutal. They're not desperate, they just want to get it over with. All their other siblings are dead by then anyway so it's not like they have anything to stick around for, even if they were healthy enough to win the battle. Plus I mean...narinder is the bishop of death so they probably just want to see him one last time. Owch

Don't get me wrong I love to hate narinder and his only role in my cult is the guy who cleans the outhouse, but I really like his dynamic with shamura vs. the other siblings. I kinda see him as the troubled kid that couldn't assimilate into the family and shamura took it upon themself to try and fix him. It's interesting thinking about how they're the only one he shows remorse for despite feeling the most betrayed by them. I don't think he 100% hates them, he's just been locked in gay baby jail for so long he's had nothing better to think about than "my sibling encouraged me to experiment with my godly duties, and then punished me for it!!". He's not wrong? But also is shamura that wrong either??? Idk it's complicated with no real answer and I like it a lot, I wish the game told us more about what the bishops were like before they got their shit rocked during the schism. I would've loved to see shamura before their brain was turned to mush by their tbi + 1,000 years of suffocating grief and crushing guilt :)

ANYWAY thanks for making it to the bottom of this rant, here is a sketch I did a while ago of shamura + baby leshy from a prequel au thing I don't have a name for yet:

[greatooglymooglyyy]

Drowning (Chris Sturniolo)

contains: angst, drinking, verbal fighting, general sadness, a makeup, happy ending, 1.4k+ words

“Girl, what the hell are you thinking?” I snap at my best friend and roommate, Kelsey, as we whisper fight in the kitchen.

“Please, friend. I need you to wingman me. It's way too awkward if it’s just me.” She pleads, grabbing my wrist.

“This looks like a two man, Kels. Chris will kill me if he finds out there are three boys in our apartment.” I say with a sigh.

“Noooo, it’s so innocent.” She insists. “One of the boys is gay, and the other has a girlfriend."

“Kelsey…”

“Pleaseeeeeeee.”

I tilt my head back in defeat, closing my eyes, and pull my arm away from her. “Fine, but let me call Chris.”

She grins and kisses my cheek before grabbing a bottle of vodka and heading back into the living room with the boys.

I call Chris twice, but it goes straight to voicemail. He’s probably filming. I shoot him a text to call me when he’s done, and I head off after my friend.

***********

I throw my head back in laughter as one of the boys completes his dare to pretend to call his mom from jail. They have all actually been really cool so far, and I can tell Kelsey’s crush is feeling her as well.

I look down at my phone as I see Chris’ name flash across the screen. But as soon as I’m about to answer, the boy next to me accidentally knocks his drink over, right onto my phone.

“Fuck!” I say, hopping up and running to the kitchen to dry it off.

“Shit, I am so sorry.” He says, following right behind me.

“It’s okay. Just an accident.” I tell him with a tight smile.

He reaches above my head and grabs rice out of the cabinet and a zip-lock bag. “Here, leave it overnight, and it’ll be fine.” I nod and give him a small smile before dropping my phone in the bag with a sigh. I go back in the living room to Kelsey, my mood a little ruined.

“Can you text Chris that I broke my phone, please? I’m just gonna head up to bed.” I ask her. She frowns and checks the time, but I guess she reads the look on my face and just nods instead of complaining.

“Goodnight guys.” I throw over my shoulder as I head upstairs.

*****************

As soon as I wake up, I have a nagging feeling in my stomach. I head downstairs and, to my shock, see the boys from last night asleep on my couch. I massage my temples, feeling my irritation grow, and slip into the kitchen. “Thank god.” I say, as my phone powers on instead of the black screen I got last night. My stomach drops as I read all of Chris’ worried text from last night. I even have a couple from Nick and Matt.

I click his name to call, and he answers on the second ring.

“Hello?” He rasps, clearly fresh out of sleep.

“Hi, baby. I’m sorry about last night. My phone-”

“Hey, do you have an extra toothbrush?” A deep voice calls from behind me.

Shit. My breath hitches as I wait for Chris’ reaction. But instead, there’s just silence.

I turn to the boy behind me and shake my head, shooing him away, then clear my throat and call Chris’ name.

“There’s just no fucking way you’re that bold.” He says, his voice like steel. “Who the fuck is that?”

“That’s what I was trying to tell you last night.” I say quickly. “Kels invited some friends over. That’s all.”

He’s silent again for a second, so quiet that I double-check that he didn’t hang up.

“So it’s a coincidence that the night there are boys in your apartment, you literally go ghost all night?” He says. His voice is so calm that if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was asking about the weather.

“Chris. I don’t know what you are trying to say, but nothing happened. How stupid do you think I am?”

“I honestly never thought you were stupid at all until right now. Or a fucking liar.” And then all I hear are those three distinct beeps.

***********

I’m laying in bed, watching my comfort show, and trying not to think of watching this same episode with Chris. It’s been a week since he went no contact. I stopped trying after calling back to back for two days straight. I can’t make someone trust me, and I’m not the type to chase a man who’s running. But it doesn’t stop my chest from tightening up when I think of him. When I think about the weight of his head on my chest and the calmness of his presence, it takes all I have not to cry.

I hear a knock on my door, and I sigh. I’ve been avoiding Kelsey, but it’s really not her fault that my boyfriend had no trust in me. I get up, swing the door open, and find her standing there next to Chris.

He looks about as good as I feel. He’s got deep purple bags under his eyes, like he hasn’t been sleeping. I want to pull him into my arms and hold him. I want to wrap my legs around his waist and never let go. But instead, I just stand there with my arms crossed because I don’t know how to love a boy who doesn’t trust me.

“Before you say anything,” Kelsey starts, reading my expression like only she can. “Me and Nick trapped him into hearing me out. I told him how it all went down. And I’m sorry, I played a part in this, but you guys need to talk this out.”

She pushes Chris into the room and slams the door shut behind him before I can even get a word in. And then I’m so close to him, I think it will kill me. I look down at his shoes so I don’t have to meet his eyes as I say, “It’s okay, Chris. You can go.” I feel the heat of his fingers on my face before I feel them. He tilts my head up to his face, and steps very slightly closer.

“I’m sorry.” He says, barely above a whisper. And his words pull me out of my trance, like I’ve had cold water dumped on me. Because I’m not just heartbroken, I’m angry. I’m pissed. I take a big step backwards and give him my most convincing, nonchalant shrug.

“It’s fine. It showed me what kind of person you think I am.” I bite out. He flinches and rubs his hand over his face. When he meets my gaze again, his eyes have a bit of fire in them as well.

“Are you honestly telling me that if I told you this same story, you would believe me, no problem?” He asks with a sarcastic edge to his tone.

I step back toward him, narrowing my eyes. “Maybe not.” I concede. "But I would have heard you out. We would have talked it out. I mean, fuck. Maybe even fought it out. But I would have never disappeared on you. I would never give up on us without a fight. But clearly, you don’t feel the same.” This hits him right where I want it to, and I can tell. Regret and defeat flood his face, and he goes to reach for me before thinking better of it and lowering his arms.

“If I didn’t trust you, it would have never hit this hard. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never had anything I was this scared to lose.” He leans against my door now, and I can tell he’s fighting back tears. I’ve never seen him cry before, and it absolutely guts me. All I want to do is forget all of this. But, my mom always said, to forget is to be a fool, and I need assurance that he's a safe place to land.

Then he meets my eyes again, and I feel all my resolve cave in on itself.

“How do I know you won’t take the next chance you get to run?.” I ask, fighting to keep my voice steady and backing up to sit on the edge of my bed.

"Because I’m telling you I won’t.” He says, following me and then kneeling between my legs. “I know you think I was running away this week, but really I was just drowning without you.”

I loop my finger around his chain and pull him up to eye level. “Never again, Sturniolo.”

“Yes ma’am.” He says with a smile before pressing his lips against mine.

[beanghostprincess]

WOMEN MY BELOVED

Okay but Shanks being SUCH A SIMP is so hilarious and also RIPE FOR CHAOS. She needs a non-fruit user for some of it ((maybe up to and including some seastone experiments)), and Mihawk either can't or Won't ((or, and he refuses to admit it, doesn't exactly want to run the risk of hurting her or Croc if there's Residue)). Now she has the Best Little Guinea Pig Ever.

Shanks never considered himself to have a weird k!nk for unhinged scientist clown women, but hey, Buggy awakens things in him, what can he say?

Also imagine the exchanges there.

B: "so we're gonna take this bomb, and I'm gonna throw it at you. And you're gonna cut it, and see if the explosion causes any damage."

S: "I dunno, Bugs, it could be kinda dangerous-"

B: "if you do, I'll kiss you."

S: "YES MA'AM!!!!"

GODS AND YEAH THE OUTFITS

Personally, I think she'd either be fairly The Same as far as outfits go, for practicality, but she also is friends with Alvida, and she's a Flashy Princess, so OBVIOUSLY there's gonna be some SKIN. And just... imagine for a moment.

A gathering for/of pirates. No I do NOT care that it's not a Canon feasible event. Moving on.

Pirate Gathering. A Dress Code. Formal.

Clown Princess in Princess Dress.

Clown Woman In Any Dress. And HEELS. and if it gets uncomfortable, she just detaches her ankles and floats while her feet rest at their table.

Crocodile and Mihawk get to coordinate with her a lil bit, and they both get to watch her bounce around and just grin bc no matter who she charms or spends time with or Spends Time With (👀), she's still theirs. Open relationships.

Also also - consider Luffy and crew being there. Sanji is SWOONING. Nami is disgusted to be a clown fucker, but she's also Looking. There's bets being plaxed on Who Will Flirt First and one of Who Will Be Most Successful.

Luffy meanwhile is splitting his time between FOOD, FRIENDS, and AUNTIE HI HOW ARE YOU I LOVE YOUR DRESS.

She acts all annoyed and put out but she and Luffy CLICK in a way few ever have, their brands of Unhinged and Feral are complimentary.

((Extra Bonus, maybe it's a gathering for the Emperors. Shanks is there too. He is frothing at the mouth bc AAAAA LUFFY and AAAAA BUGGY and AAAAA LOOK AT THEM TOGETHER.

The only way we include Teach in this is if he's in Dirty Baby Jail, hit on Buggy and got OBLITERATED, or Buggy point blank 'seduces' him to knock him out, steal his treasure, and then locked him in a closet with seastone cuffs and a toothbrush.))

I love seeing an ask starting with "women my beloved". It makes a lesbian's day. Do not stop loving women.

This is all amazing. Thank you. Yes. Absolutely. Shanks would let Buggy do anything to him and he'd thank her and honestly? Understandable. While Mihawk and Crocodile just see their girl do her own stuff with pleased smiles on their faces. If their clown wants to torment people with her silly shenanigans and lethal inventions, who are they to intervene?

And the outfits would kind of be the same, yeah, but she'd definitely want to catch people's attention. Maybe at first she still wears the same things, but after a while of feeling comfortable in her body and with her identity? She has a closet full of clown-themed outfits. Beautiful dresses. She has everything. From classy, more sophisticated dresses to sillier outfits. Everything is provided by Crocodile because now Buggy is some kind of beautiful Barbie he dresses and watches explode things. "This Barbie is a pyromaniac clown" but like, literally.

Sanji and Nami are having a moment™. Leave them alone. It's understandable. Sanji is shameless about it, though, while Nami is questioning her entire persona (that's only like the first five seconds tho). Zoro wants to get out of there and he can't stand them (<- gay gay homosexual gay) but at least he has a chance to talk to Mihawk again so, whatever. And Luffy won't stop annoying Buggy but she secretly loves the kid a ton, and he won't stop telling her to go "boom boom" on stuff together while they catch up and that's something she can't say no to.

Shanks is going through a heart attack, by the way. I heard those AAAAAAAAAAAAs in his voice. He's SO happy to see Luffy. And SO excited to see Buggy like that. And SO thrilled to see them together getting along. He can't get rid of Mihawk and Crocodile who're staring at him menacingly (because yes, they have an open relationship with Buggy but that does not mean Shanks gets to hurt her again. So they try to be careful even when they know he's pretty much her silly toy now to try her new inventions on) but he doesn't really care about it.

[died-but-not-dead-propaganda]

Kim Dokja Propaganda

he canonically dies seven times <3 he's tried and avoided dying even more than that. multiple characters in text have asked him to stop dying.

He literally plans his own death out and then gets surprised when it happens and people react to him dying he's so stupid I love him

he does it 12 times i'm not joking

i lost count but he's died and come back at least 4 times. mf won't stay dead (affectionate) but he's also so damn smug everytime like he didn't just give all his friends lasting trauma for the 3rd time that week

He is like, the perfect person for this tournament. He dies, and dies, and dies like every 5 seconds. And the majority of them are emotional. I think. Like, we know he's not actually dead but his friends don't (in most of them).

So here's some of my hightlights (Contains spoilers):

-His first death was by being incinerated by a dragon's breath (not really interesting, but it's his first death).

-There was an scenario(missions? kinda?) where they had to kill the strongest in the dome and nobody knew who it was so there were two really strong guys having a duel and while everyone else was busy watching it he killed himself behind a building and just waited for everyone to notice (he was the strongest in there).

    +People called him ugly at his funeral

-Idk if it counts as a death but he sacrificed himself and got expelled from the system and I don't remember if his body was destroyed but I think yes. So this would normally mean you will die for real so everyone thought he was dead but he kept his soul alive by talking to himself and eating garbage and went to a doctor and leaded a coup d'etat and gave birth(? kinda?) all while pretending to be someone else.

-He was asleep while using a skill to watch his friends have a serious discussion about his kinks and dies.

this man. keeps. dying. everytime he dies it traumatises his kids and friends and then he does it again! eventually they just straight up locked him up in gay baby jail in an attempt to get him to stop dying. it didnt work. hes a disaster and i love him

That man CANNOT stop dying istg (via sacrificing his life) i don't even know how many times he's died,,, (it's the suicidal tendencies and the feeling he doesn't deserve a happy ending lbr)

(warning for spoilers in the next paragraph)

he has 1)died by throwing himself at a giant dragon 2)died by throwing himself in front of his blorbo/reason for living (who has threatened to kill him multiple times) at the hand of the woman who later on become his daughter    (he came back from those 2 in a few minutes with a power that allowed him to resurrect if he saves 100 people) (he then lost this power and gained another that allowed him 7 resurrections but with a longer delay)

3)died by asking his internet bully/best friend to kill him to save the city  4)there was a prophecy he was going to be killed by the person he loves most. his mum killed him knowing about his resurrection power and hoping it would complete the prophecy. it did not. (fun fact he was passed out when that happened and his previously mentioned best friend was defending him, and she allowed the shot to hit his heart to avoid it hitting his crotch #priorities)  5)sacrificed himself by turning into the villain and making all his friends kill him to stop his blorbo from doing the same. fun fact he was the one to deliver the final blow and it did satisfy the prophecy. also for reasons his resurrection power didn't work here (he still found a way to come back though! but it was much more difficult and complicated

also, it's irrelevant to all this but he literally gets adopted by hades and persephone at some point and becomes the heir to the underworld

anyway this is very long and does not include all his deaths i don't think but you get the idea! orv is very good i promise don't get fooled by my shitty description lmao

This ridiculous man has an addiction to dying istg. He makes a point of obtaining every ability he can that allows him to return from death and chooses to throw himself in harms way constantly. His companions has to sedate him just to get him to take a break because he just will not stop dying on them. Hes a hamster of a man. Hes also just so pathetically average and abnormal at the same time and its great. Throughout the whole story, people try to convince him to stop sacrificing himself for them, but he just keeps doing it because he doesnt really know how else to show how much he cares because he is incredibly emotionally stunted (its the trauma!). Orv is legitimately such a good webnovel, it changed my brain chemistry permanently. Its a really great read because it contains a little bit of everything, so you get to enjoy a bunch of different genres. Its also pretty fast paced but not rushed, so the plot is always moving forward but not feeling forced. There arent really any plotholes either, because it accomplishes what it set out to do as a story. Only issue some people have getting into it is that the first chunk of chapters are kinda slow, but it really starts to pick up after the disasters and keeps getting better from there. Also that it has 551 chapters, but these chapters are all necessary, trust me. The ending is so good. Just try to avoid spoilers some if you do check it out; they dont necessarily ruin the experience but some major plot moments are revealed. Also, I really reccommend reading the actual webnovel instead of the manhwa(which is the webtoon) because the manhwa edits a lot of things out and is much plainer than the actual story. Anyway, sorry that this turned into me telling you to read the novel instead of campaigning for kdj. But! Its what he would have wanted, seeing as he once read a webnovel as the sole reader of it for over 10 years.

Okay so. This man has died over 10 times (I'm not counting the exact number I'm sorry). He got burned to death fighting a super dangerous dragon, he died IN FRONT OF HIS FOUND FAMILY. then he pushed another member of his found family away from a fatal attack and took it on himself, causing him to get a huge hole right through his stomach and said member of his found family to go beserk over his death cause he didn't know he'd come back to life. He then asked a different member of his found family to KILL HIM. because he needed to die for everyone else to survive or whatever so he convinced her to kill him even though she didn't want to. And then HE GOT KILLED BY HIS FOUND FAMILY AGAIN. because once again he had to 'die' for everyone to survive but specifically he had to be killed by his found family, so he got stabbed through the heart by one of his found family members and then crumbled to dust in said family member's arms. He 'died' and disappeared for 3+ YEARS , and came back just as his ff were finally moving on from him. (Also he came back in a giant squid form that couldn't communicate with the FF at all and almost got killed my the ff AGAIN...) there's... A lot. More but it's been a while since I've read the novel so I don't remember every single death unfortunately but yeah 👍

He died like 12 times and traumatized all his companions with that

Over the course of 100 chapters, this man managed to die and get revived FIVE GODDAMN TIMES. And he keeps doing it. Nobody's doing it like him fr fr

i’m still read orv but as far as i’ve heard that’s his whole thing other than being gay for the protagonist of his favourite web comic who is real now

hoooo boy. i think he dies around 8 times in total? and somehow each time is worse than the last..... the first 3-4 times he has a skill that lets him regenerate, so its mostly fine (there is some good angst about his companions worrying he died for real, though, and at least one funeral scene).

then theres a prophecy about how he will be killed by "the person he loves most" and, without spoiling it too much, hes killed by the person he loves most. sword through the heart and touching last words and everything. its fucking DEVASTATING. he survives with a bunch of cheat code bullshit and then next time they see him is weeks or months later in the fucking demon realm with a body thats falling apart.

then a while later he almost dies AGAIN but when they go to save him he gets kidnapped and sent to another world and they dont see him for FOUR YEARS. hes obviously presumed dead while hes off in another worldline trying to get back

uh. there might be more than that. this novel is VERY long. anyway it gets to a point where any problem thats too big gets solved by him sacrificing himself while his companions scream and cry and beg him not to. and then he shows up later like "see! i survived :)" and they get so upset because why does he keep DOING this??? and he doesnt see the issue because he did it to save them! its a happy ending as long as no one dies (but not me though. its fine if i die as long as no one else does)

anyway, all this to say. basically his defining trait is that he dies and comes back. hes infamous for it and his companions start to hate it about him. one of them literally tries to pay a HEAVY price to ensure that he cant die anymore. hes GOTTA be on this bracket

Self-sacrifice is the only way he knows how to express love because it's the only form of love he was shown as a child. He keeps dying for his companions even while knowing that he is traumatizing them and thinking that they will hate him for it eventually (just like he hated his mom) because he thinks he deserves to be hated. The entire novel is about saving him. My god.

This man has died (and revived) about thirteen different times (I think? Very easy to lose count), and that’s only including successful attempts, he tries to sacrifice himself many more times. His companions are literally begging him to stop killing himself to save the world. They come very close to just tying him up so he can’t go running off again.

In terms of his general character he is just a guy who hyperfixates on a bad webnovel for 13 years straight, I’m talking about 3000+ chapters that he was the sole reader of because no one else made it past ch100. Then when the webnovel gets its final update the events of the novel start happening in the real world, as the only person who has read to the end he has vital information to save the world. He pisses off the protagonist within a minute of meeting and then proceeds to have a high-key homoerotic relationship with him, with both of them becoming so intertwined that neither would exist without the other and creating a timeloop that sets the entire plot into motion (I can’t go into more details without spoilers). If you’d like more details then I highly recommend the YouTube video “badly explaining all of omniscient reader in 6 minutes” by ferd because it’s hilarious and leaves out just enough context that you don’t even feel like you’re getting spoiled because it’s so batshit

[princess-of-the-corner]

okay i need a summary of the S5 finale

someone in the server just asked what happened in the story so far so i need concrete details of how everything's been settled

This is gonna be rough because I have watched all this go by in a fever dream and half-remembering stuff and maybe confusing it with the leaked script(I don't remember what was changed) and I do NOT have the energy to look up exact details rn but:

So Adrien and Kagami are in London locked in their respective rooms which are. Pretty blank just a slab for a bed and a foosball table.

They're also drugged I think? But their parents are using their Alliance Avatars to fake celebrity couple moments for the public.

Nathalie tries to kill Gabriel with a crossbow but he manipulates her long enough that she starts dying

Ladybug was investigating the Agreste Mansion for.... I forget why probably but it's sure not because she's suspicious of Gabriel due to Felix telling her his identity in a previous episode because she is absolutely shocked when she sees him transform.

Oh wait she's probably investigating because Gabriel kinda just Scarecrow Fear gassed the whole world with the Alliance Ring's programs and some other shit and sends out an alert on the rings like 'Oh no LB and CN have kidnapped Adrien and Kagami! Don't you want to help? Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go apeshit?' and a bunch of people turn into the most generic fucking blank 'just a body to fight' Akumas.

Ladybug decides to fight him instead of finding Chat for backup

Adrien is still over in London, blitzed as fuck in gay baby jail. He realizes he's kinda fucked up and hands the ring off to Plagg to escape. Plagg flies across the entire ffucking ocean back to Paris and finds Ladybug mid-fight.

Marinette is now wielding both Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous. She's fighting Gabriel (who has all the others except the Peacock(with Felix) and the Rabbit(with Alix)). And she absolutely WRECKS him. We get a real good fight sequence including some cartoony nonsense like using Lucky Charm to drop a whole fucking grand piano on him.

Anyway. She's winning clearly. They end up in the basement crypt with Emilie's coffin. She knocks the Butterfly off him and into the abyss and like. We've gotten clips of Lila(or whatever her real name is) being in on this so obviously Lila's gonna pick it up.

Marinette has Gabriel pretty backed into a corner but she does the 'I'm sure you're still good you just miss your wife please don't do this give up!' thing. While dropping her transformation and offering her hand out completely fucking vunerable.

Naturally Gabriel uses Venom to paralyze her and steals both the Miraculous.

Gabriel starts up the Wish, which makes Tikki and Plagg go into True Form Godmode where they're giant magical multi-armed beings and do a fusion dance thing to turn into the Kwami of Reality: Gimmi. (this part is actually really cool just like the fight scene)

Gabriel has a literal last second change of heart(?) and asks Marinette to make sure Adrien never finds out that Gabriel was Monarch and that he only remembers the times he tried to be a good father(BITCH WHERE???)

He makes the Wish and fucking dies

Cut to some time later: everyone is back in Paris. Bustier as Mayor is going over soooo well she's turned everything into such a utopia of environmental consciousness(completely ignoring the time and money it would take to make these changes! And more importantly ignoring that even if Bustier isn't a corrupt politician, there's a fuckton of other actual corrupt politicians that would shut this shit down so hard).

They're celebrating Gabriel's 'sacrifice' in helping Ladybug defeat Monarch and he gets a statue(made of melted down Alliance rings) calling him a Hero! Adrien hopes he'll live up to that greatness one day!

Speaking of the Alliance rings, Tomoe gets away with helping Gabriel because she lies and is like 'oh we were totally hacked!' and everyone believes her.

Marinette does not tell Adrien the truth about Gabriel or even that Adrien is a Sentimonster. But hey she at least gives him the wedding ring Amoks?

We get a clip of everyone getting their Miraculous as a permanant Hero team and then having a party at the pool! All the kids are there(except Chloé who is off in London getting abused by her mother because 'oh she deserves it for*checks notes* reacting to the previous abuse she suffered in a not-perfect way!').

Nathalie is healed and fine and also at the pool party.

We get a shot of the woman who is either Emilie brought back to life or Amelie. No one is sure. It seems like Amelie because she wasn't mentioned elsewhere in the epilogue and she's also wearing black(Emilie is always in white, Amelie is always in black). But the leaked scripts and the character model sheet called her 'Emilie' so no one knows.

We get a final scene showing Lila's lair in the catacombs, where she has the Butterfly Miraculous and also the robo-army remote control thing from back when Chloé was mayor. She gets jumscared by something off screen and it cuts out

[sgcairo]

Birthday bash is taken way too literally by the Harbingers, to say the least.

My first thought upon reading that is for some reason, a semi friendly free-for-all between the Harbingers and the segments. The other guests are welcome to join but because those are Harbingers and more likely than not, the superiors of some of the guests, they don't join.

The free-for-all ends in the wackiest shit happening. The Harbingers sometimes actually try to kill each other, but because they are drunk by the point they get to the point of the free-for-all, nothing serious ever happens besides minor wounds that most of them don't notice until the next morning or something.

For example, Arlecchino tries to go after Pantalone in earnest on that night, but they are all drunk, she trips over her own feet and drops her knife. She then gets a shot of fire water from someone nearby, she takes it, no second thought about poison needed. Because the harbingers made a pact to not lethally poison each other, and tonight, all poison is off.

She then tries to get up but just can't because she falls again and ends up lying there for a bit. By the time she gets up, she's already forgotten about going after pants.

I want to say something about tartagles getting into fights but I feel like Pulchinella might be feeling the dad instincts and thinks he's too young. Hence tartagles being either on a child leash or somewhere in arms reach of the rooster. Cue tortellini getting stuck in said child leash or something

I think the Tsaritsa is like an exasperated parent trying to corral all of her kids back to their rooms by the end of the night.

The next morning is when all the hungover harbingers get back to work, stopping by the halls to pick up their misplaced weapons that they lost or dropped - like Arlecchino's knife for example.

Anastasiy's birthday in particular is off limits for the bashing him, fortunately. Only because Anastasiy is the precious baby and none of the Harbingers would ever dream of lifting a finger against him, but all the other birthday celebrations are free for alls, including assaulting the person it's for. But if you dare try to murder Anastasiy on his birthday... You are despicable and will be put in gay baby jail by the grandpa himself, and Pulcinella will shame you the whole way there. Not to mention that Anastasiy would probably cry, which even the Harbingers aren't invincible to innocent tears from the baby, even if he's technically not a child.

But yes, the bashing is wild, Dottore has to be physically restrained so he doesn't accidentally murder someone. Pantalone though... He's a sly man, and not as drunk as he appears, which is a surprise to Arlecchino who thinks she's being smooth by sneaking powder into his drink while he's not looking.

Pierro ends up sobbing on Anastasiy's shoulder about how he's "grown up so fast" and "was only as tall as my hip just yesterday" at one point, and has to be ushered away by Capitano to sober up.

Columbina has bitten at least three people by the end of the night, and Capitano has to make sure that Tartaglia doesn't try to use the Foul Legacy against Sandrone, who made fun of him for being a ginger.

Anastasiy ends up dragging his drunk parents back to their rooms to prevent murders from happening, which is a hassle in itself. Drunk Dottore is an absolute gremlin, and Pantalone is... an old man when drunk. Wandering off, muttering to himself, he even counts mora while drunk off his marbles. Hosing them off and tossing them into bed is a feat in itself, and Anastasiy has to lock the door to make sure they don't sneak out to terrorize the innocent.

It's worth it though, but only because he gets to embarrass the other Harbingers later with tales of their drunk shenanigans.

[zaritarazi]

now i gotta ask. how did dctv teth-adam and zari meet?

well. i acidentally plotted out what season 8 would've been, and the tragic thing is if i'd even posted this in january of this year we would've gotten a season 8 on tv. nevermind that the cw had negative dollars. phil ran out of material bc i got too horny for matthias and we all know it bc really who contributed more to the legends canon than me? no one. a lot of people would be scared to admit that. a lot of people would be scared. and i'll

so please read this knowing it would've been exactly how the show would've gone. phil is going to read this tonight and fucking sob in the shower for 6 hours about what could've been

we know the legends are going to time-jail. in my little universe, we get the scene where they do the going into the jail catwalk in their little jumpsuits- WHICH, by the WAY, are styled in ways that appropriately reflect everyone's personalities, because i know what i'm fucking about- and there's general chaos and probably a song over it and zari, who is the focus of the season alongside booster (they're foils baby), is somewhere towards the back of the group, like maybe astra and spooner are behind her, and she just sees this guy who's kind of pointedly ignoring them sort of all the way in the back of the crowd and she's like huh it's weird that i'm noticing him and it's also notable that he has some kind of like- she thinks it's a breathing device, like maybe he's from space or something, and later finds out it's a gag of some kind

and listen. it looks like a respirator mask without the parts you put the filters on bc this is legends, we went to the store and we got a 3m half face and we spray-painted it like dark green and it's attached with spirit gum, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

and just as she looks at This Guy he finally looks up at the legends, her specifically, and there's this moment of very bizarre eye contact where she kind of just stands and stares at him and he's staring at her and astra walks into her and is like what are you even looking- sees teth-adam in the crowd- do you have a radar for finding the worst guy in any room? is this your gift?

so for me 8a would be very much like when dutch, johnny, & d'av were in jail in killjoys, specifically the part where everyone seems able to just wander around and bother each other, why not it's not like this is a prison or anything (side note big part of this season is about how prisons need to be abolished <3) where zari has this fixation on this guy and he seems equally fixated on her and everyone else is like. hey. is this getting weird should we intervene?

i would also love to actually create zari and behrad conflict as they start to go in very separate directions because tala and shayan could make that shit hurt. haven't fully plotted this. more on that as i think it up

part a.2 is booster's plot, which i haven't figured out yet but will be sexy. it would probably build on him trying to find ted and/or bring him back to life, as was alluded to in the 1 dc's legends of tomorrow comic based on the TV show we will ever get, and i actually love the idea of zari and booster basically being an investigating team where they're both the charmer and neither one of them has any lock picking skills but they're literally like. they'd be perfect for each other if they didn't have fixations on other people at the moment. but there's chemistry.

the b plot is spooner basically becoming the most popular person in time jail and astra getting jealous and then they make up and it's gay you know this trope you've seen it that's what's happening they kiss emmy please

anyway the midseason finale, to me, would be zari finally getting this guys mask off at the same time that astra finally figures out who he is and is like well. shit fuck shit fuck i guess! and zari thinks he's going to kiss her and instead he cups her cheek and says that magic word and the two of them get struck by lightning <3 couple goals <3 <3 <3 and this would be how we give zari her comics powers without her totem. listen they've bent so much canon in the dctv universe let me have this. i deserve this

8b is about zari getting the "heroism" she wanted and weighing it against the cost of the strain it now has caused on her relationships with the legends, especially with behrad, who's like hey. we can share the totem again but this isn't you. zari needs a rebellious phase! behrad needs to call her to the mat! black adam needs to be like kind of unconditionally in love with zari but also she's not entirely sure he doesn't just love a different character she's putting on, like she's ditched the dragon girl for what she thought she wanted- but maybe what she really needs is balance? parallel this to finding out how booster ended up trapped by the time cops the first time, and how being a hero maybe cost him ted? and him reconciling what he'd have to give up to get ted back?

i'm literally a genius and i've read at least 2 books.

anyway this ends with zari realizing she wants to be captain of the waverider after behrad with his totem saves her even though she's all shazamed out, so while she doesn't give up her powers, she at least un-shazams herself for the time being with explicit confirmation, leigh bardugo, that she can re-shazam whenever she wants, and black adam agrees to support her but won't un-shazam and we can tell if this series were to continue (but it won't this is the series finale) they would have conflicts over this bc i know how to keep a relationship fucking interesting, phil,

my c plot is that gary is no longer an alien and he starts a jewish prison gang like the one in arrested development

[galaxy12sblog]

I've finally found you..

During a sunny day, Bot is busy cooking while Zach tries to distract the kids from getting into the kitchen.

Crystal: Just let me go in the kitchen, Papa!!

Zach: *holding her back* Nope! Never. Okay, uh... how about we play a game?

Crystal: i-.... Yeah!! And this game is dodgeball!!

Zach: *sighs* Let's play a game that everyone has to in it.

Mystical: hm...

Crystal:..hm..uh...

Jade: uh.... this is tough...

Rose:..hm....

Emma:...uhhhhhhhhh........

Silent:....

Bubbles: How about we play violence?-

Everyone: no!

Bubbly:..hm...

Then there's a sudden knock on the door..

Bot: *cutting the tomatoes* oh fish sticks-! Um.. Crystal get the door.

Crystal: *swims towards the door with full speed* *opens the door* *gasp*

Bot and the family look at the door, only to see a strange female.. wearing a hoodie.

Bot: *holding a Axe* Who are you..?

???: I've finally found you, Bot ....

Everyone was confused, Bot was confused too.

Bot: Found me? What do you mean?..

???: *Sighs* .....*removes the hoodie from her head*....

Bot dropped the Axe, as He was surprised. Zach was confused and the kids..

Bot:..No..it can't be....i-is it really you..?

???: Yes dear.... it's me... I've finally found you...my son~

Bot hugs his mother tightly, The rest of the family was left shocked.. especially Zach.

A few minutes at home, Bot was curious on how his mother escape, he thought she was dead or killed by his father.

???: Oh sweetie... I was indeed locked up... but then a friend of mine, called the police to search for me around the house...so, as soon as that has happened..they found me, took your father straight to prison. I haven't eaten for days. So.. I stayed in my friend's house for a few weeks. Then search for you, cause I believe that you're still alive.

Bot: whoa...so.. Dad is really...in jail?

???: *Nodded*..

Bot and his mom chat a bit more, the Mother was wondering about Bot's family

???: so dear ... where's your wife??

Bot: !! Huh? A wife??

???: !? Don't you have a wife??

Bot: Uh.. yeah about that..*clears throat* I uh...well....um....*sighs* Mom, I'm actually the dad. And Zach is my husband.

???: !!! You mean to tell me that you're gay-?

Bot: Look I know you'll be disappo-

???: Disappointed??? Sweetheart....why didn't you tell me!? >:(

Bot: I- wait wha-?

???: sweetheart I'm not what you think I am. I don't care what sexuality you have, you're still my son~! And believe it or not. I'm not straight, I'm actually bisexual.

Bot: *smiles*

???: Now please, introduce me to my grandbabies-! >:)

Bot: oh-!

Bot starts introducing the kids.

Bot: The quadruples names are..

Mystical: Mystical~!

Bot: a good, changed granddaughter of yours.

Jade: Jade!

Bot: Your grandson who loves music, have good behavior.

Crystal: Crystal!! *Bouncing the ball*

Bot: Your granddaughter who's obsessed of sports, more likely violent at times.

Lavender: *holding her kitten* *sniffs*....*looks at Bot*...Mama!

Bot: A-And here's Lavender, the brightest of them all. Sadly she's blind..

???: Aww~ *picks up Lavender* how can she look soo cute?

Bot introduce the next one.

Bot: I've got names of these middle borns.

Rose: Rose!

She's someone who copies everything you do but still a cute baby.

Silent: Silent.

A quiet baby who's normally healthy and safe.

Emma: Emma!

A crying Baby girl but she'll be quiet as soon as the food's ready

Bubbly: Hi! I'm Bubbly!

A innocent baby with good behaviors, also the twin brother of Bubbles

Bubbles: I'm Bubbles!!

A violent but calm little baby. Mostly sometimes like to tackle you.

Bot picks up the little newborn babies.

Bot: *smiles* And finally, this is Trixie and Trixo.

???: !! Oh my! You sure have a lot of kids, but these adorable ones *takes Trixie* Aww~

Trixie: *giggles*

Mystical: what's your name, grandmother??

Perca: Perca, I'm Perca, sweetie.

The kids started to talk more towards the grandmother, asking questions.

Meanwhile Bot was preparing the food. Zach came in the kitchen.

Zach:...*looks at Bot* Hey um...did you tell your mother about... you know who..

Bot: !!! Zach, I can't tell her about it... I'm not ready yet and.. it's not the right time. Okay??

Zach: okay. But soon tho, she'll find out herself.

Bot: yeah.. I'll make sure she doesn't...or the kids about Alastor..

Zach: *sighs* Yeah...

The end.

Lavender belongs to @geral-7v7-and-eli-uwu

Crystal belongs to @dumbassnamedivan

[icharchivist]

It's nice to know though that even though he's stuck in the void with his emotionally unavailable boyfriend, Belial at least has fairly stable internet access. Stable enough to be a menace on Twitter anyway. It's a bit disheartening, seeing how this likely all Cygames will be using him for. Keeping him locked away in gay baby jail and only taking him out for events and to peddle merch :( But they don't actually let us play with him

Lucio locked the guy away and he's still here thirstposting on twitter, can somehow still go to the Shibuya aquarium but GOD FORBID him doing anything in the plot.

tbh i've been feeling it even more. specific, with how weird the "Modern Life AU" event was and how it's the only way they could justify bringing back Belial and Lucilius, because working on a story to bring them back would be too much work dLKFJDFLKD

i understand granblue being desperate into saying hey, this is only ONE of our characters, please let us explore new stories, but if they're going to make Belial do all of their marketting and constantly pushing him to buy their stuff, they could at least let us "play" with him smh.

I honestly believe though that they keep him as a "in case of emergency, break glass" unit/event. if they realize granblue is not doing as much money as before for x reasons, you'll see, they'll find a way to bring him back out of desperation. and it will work.

But who knows. maybe one day he'll break free from his gay baby jail. if he canonically can come into our nightmares being an overrall menace, and somewhat leave his feather to Sariel, maybe there's hopes. I just think that none of us are ready for that day.

rip Belial-the-character, hello to Belial-the-model-to-sell-us-stuff-by-being-a-pure-slut.

[new-oc-blog-every-day]

I keep thinking of how Emily literally locks Gabe in Gay baby Jail and he gets so upset like a fucking child in time out XD

[crtter]

The difference between how Jevil and Spamton handled the knowledge that their world wasn’t the “real world” is that Spamton decided to use the voice on the phone to open the The Sims cheat console and motherlode himself into being rich and famous and when he could no longer do that he became obsessed with the idea of “becoming real and reaching heaven” until it corroded his mind but Jevil basically went “Oh reality is just a game? Does that mean I can kill people if I want to? :)” and proceeded to try to do exactly that until Seam locked him in gay baby jail.

[terezis]

For the first sentence prompt, a sentence made from my predictive text: "I am so sorry for the late notice but I am not sure if I will be able to punch thru cinderblock."

(11:57 PM) magnus: i am so sorry for the late notice but i am not sure if i will be able to punch thru cinderblock.

(12:01 AM) lup: magnus come ON

(12:02 AM) magnus: i'm sorry!!! my fists are only made of like, meat and stuff! cinderblock beats meat those are the rules. like in boulder parchment shears

(12:05 AM) lup: that's what she said

(12:06 AM) lup: srsly though this place is warded w a fuckoff gigantic antimagic cone so me and bear can't get thru it, you're our only hope :(

well

krav's only hope

(12:07 AM) lup: if he double dies i'm telling taako it's your fault you let his boyf languish away in gay baby jail

by which i mean some shitty ass necromancer's keep

who tf does a ritual summoning in an apt building anyway like commit to the bit and spring for an abandoned warehouse or SOMETHING

smdh no sense of aesthetic

(12:10 AM) magnus: luuuup D:

(12:11 AM) lup: i'll tell taako to bust out the fantasy victorian mourning veil ig. he'll like that he never has an occasion to wear it

(12:14 AM) magnus: why don't you just go through the front door?

(12:16 AM) lup: is locked

(12:16 AM) magnus: break the lock???

(12:19 AM) lup: ok i know i'm a bomb-ass wizard and lich extraordinaire but the one thing i do currently lack is fingers, which i think you probably need to pick a lock

(12:19 AM) lup: u kno i'm sensitive about not having fingers magnus how could you

(12:20 AM) magnus: sorry i forgot :(

(12:22 AM) lup: barry says my body won't be ready for another week. which is why we need you to punch through this wall

so quit being a coward and get over here

(12:25 AM) magnus: fuck ok. i can't argue with that logic

(12:26 AM) lup: :)

-

(2:49 AM) lup: hey merle u up

(2:49 AM) lup: can you come heal magnus

(2:50 AM) lup: dumbass tried to punch through concrete and broke his hand

[MESSAGE NOT RECEIVED]

(2:57 AM) lup: tell me he dropped his stone of farspeech in the fuckin toilet again

-

(9:17 AM) taako: hey idiot ur a ROGUE why didn't u just pick the lock

(9:49 AM) magnus: :(

[zhanyes]

19 days pandemic version / living together headcannons

I just want to imagine the boys living together because let’s be honest it’s going to be so chaotic but they deserve each other’s company

P.s. I know nothing about how China dealt with the pandemic so this is purely self-indulgent

- When the lockdown happened they were all at He Tian’s for a sleepover so they were forced to stay there for a few weeks until everything settled

- Mo guanshan kicked up a fuss over it but was actually just worried about his mom being left alone at home

Mo guanshan, already taking note of what to put in the pantry: “THE FUCK YOU MEAN WE’RE STAYING HERE?! NO!”

- Zheng xi is surprisingly okay with staying at He Tian’s for the time being, Jian yi says it’s because He tian has a ps5 (He’s not wrong)

-Mo Guanshan lost all respect for Zhengxi when he said “It could be fun.”

- Both Zhengxi and Guanshan’s parents agreed that they should stay for a bit just to be safe

- Jian yi is a panic buyer and with He Tian’s money they bought enough food to feed an army

- He forgot to buy necessities and Guanshan wacked his ass

Mo guanshan looking at the 9 full plastic bags of groceries: “You’re telling me OUT OF ALL OF THIS, you didn’t buy a single toothbrush?”

Jian yi, a dumbass: “I didn’t know we were having toothbrush for dinner?”

Mo guanshan brandishing a knife out of thin air: “Come ‘ere I’ll show you what's for dinner.”

- He tian is a menace in the grocery store, he’s bought about 4 pots, 2 pans, a new dish set AND knives set, 6 new mugs of different colors (Yellow for jian yi, blue for zhengxi, red for guanshan and black for him; the other two just looked nice) and a dozen of scented candles

Zheng xi, trying to keep Guanshan from committing murder in a grocery: “Why did you do this?”

He tian: “They were in sale! Buy one-take-one!”

Mo guanshan: “WHY WOULD YOU BUY 4 POTS OF THE SAME SIZE?!”

- They make it out of the store and Guanshan vows to never let jian yi and he tian do groceries

- Guanshan mostly cooks for everyone and Zhengxi helps out but jian yi is surprisingly a decent cook???

- He needs to be supervised tho because his attention span is limited to 5 seconds and he’ll forget he was boiling water

- He tian canonically can not cook. He is BANNED from the kitchen after he put sake in a pan thinking it was water

- He tian has 2 guestrooms in his apartment but he locks the other one and assigned Zhan Zhengxi and Jian yi to the other room

- Mo guanshan forces his way into Zhanyi’s room and He tian follows. That’s how all of them ended up sleeping in a single guestroom on the floor with mattresses stacked and pushed together

- Zhengxi introduces them to anime and Jian yi’s favorite genre is surprisingly action with a lot of fighting scenes and Mo guanshan (and He tian) likes slice-of-life

- He tian and Jian yi strays away from animes and movies related to the mafia and Zhengxi and Guanshan never asks, it’s an unspoken rule that those types of stuff are banned

- They have game nights because Jian yi thinks bonding is key to make their friendship last longer (and to avoid having anyone murdered)

- Every board game turns into a disaster. There’s no exception.

The boys playing monopoly:

Jian yi: “THAT WAS MINE YOU DICK! I WAS SAVING UP MONEY TO BUY IT!”

He tian: “Have you tried not being poor? No? Well that’s too bad.”

Zhengxi, is safe in jail and has the most land: “Lmao losers.”

The boys playing uno:

Mo guanshan: “Don’t do it…”

He Tian: “I’m sorry Mo this is the only way”

Mo guanshan: “No please you can find another way…”

He tian: “Goodbye, my love *puts a plus 4 down* Uno.”

Mo guanshan: *unintelligible noises of a loser* 

Playing scrabble:

Jian yi: “The fuck you mean gorjeus isn’t a word? That’s what I am.”

He tian: “You’re right, that's what you are. An absolute idiot.”

Chess:

Mo Guanshan to He tian: “You might be smart and winning but I have the power of violence and nothing is stopping me from flipping this table over.”

Word guessing game:

Jian yi: “It’s loud, annoying, depended and cries a lot.”

Zhengxi, guessing the word baby: “Is this you?”

Jian yi: “I- okay yeah that’s valid.”

- Zhengxi is very observant, he knows Jian yi well enough to know when he’s having anxieties about the pandemic, he knows when Guanshan needs some time alone, and when He tian is getting too lost in negative thoughts. He does what he can to help

- His bonding moments with Guanshan consists of listening to pop music and staying quiet

- The apartment is almost always alive and noisy, whether it’s Jian yi suggesting another game or Guanshan screaming about something, He tian takes joy in the fact that he’s with people he cares about

- He’s thankful for the noise after living in silence all alone for a long time. Jian yi knows the feeling of going home to an empty apartment and vows to visit more often with Zhengxi once this is all over (and drag Guanshan along assuming he’s not here already)

- Over time He tian smiles and laughs become a lot more genuine. Once, He tian laughed loudly at something Mo guanshan did and the only thing he can think of is, “Oh shit, happiness looks good on him.”

- Queue gay panic to Jian yi

Mo guanshan: “WHAT IS THIS?!”

Jian yi, remembering He tian doing the same thing yesterday: “Natural selection.”

- Jian yi loves all of them, really, but sometimes he feels claustrophobic from being kept inside for so long

- Zhan Zhengxi always notices, and he would sneak Jian yi up to the rooftop and they would stay there for a while so they can look at the stars, the city lights and Jian yi can breathe easier

- During those times, He tian relishes the alone time he gets with Guanshan, sometimes they talk and banter, but sometimes they just stay quiet and secretly enjoy each other’s presence (they steal glances at each other when they think the other isn’t looking)

- They grew so used to living with each other that they developed a shower schedule and Zhengxi wakes up the same time as Guanshan to help prepare breakfast

- He tian and Jian yi tends to wake up a little later and Jian yi gravitates closer for warmth so they end up cuddling until they’re forced to get up and eat

- Zhengxi takes a picture of them and sends it to their group chat

- He tian has hundreds of pictures of him and Mo, just Mo, the group, Zhengxi and Jian yi, and a lot more stolen shots that he keeps in a separate album in his phone

- He prints out his favorites, hangs them around the bedroom and frames some of them to put it in the living room. None of the other boys have the heart to take them down after seeing how happy He tian looks every time he sees the pictures

- Jian yi asks He tian to share the pictures to him too, he doesn’t print it out but he uses one of the pictures of all of them together as his lockscreen (his wallpaper is a stolen picture of him and Zhengxi He tian took when they were stargazing on the rooftop)

- When everything settles down enough for them to go home, they’re actually reluctant to go

- Still, Mo Guanshan and Zhengxi go home to their families. Jian yi stays with He tian since he knew his mom wasn’t at home anyway, at least this way they’ll both have company

- Guanshan claims (loudly) that he’s glad to get away from them but still video calls with them everyday anyway

Mo Guanshan, in the videocall for the nth time: “I’m SO GLAD. Those were the WORST weeks of my life.”

The others, hearing the same lie for the nth time: “Mhm. Whatever you say, Mo.”

- They have discord sleepovers because they all miss sleeping in the same room with each other (they never mention it but everyone knows)

- Mo Guanshan cooks meals for more than him and his mom and have it delivered to He tian’s and Zhan Zhengxi’s. When asked he claims it’s just leftovers

- Zhan Zhengxi’s body clock is fucked, he grew too used to waking up early so he just went with it and helps his mom prepare breakfast

- They all silently agree that they wouldn’t mind living with each other again in the future (again none of them ever mentions it but everyone is aware)

[spaceskam]

8 for Malex? Thanks!

*hiding because this took an embarrassing amount of time I'm sorry*

tags: high school au, slight mental health stuff goin’ on, bed sharing

8. bedtime stories [ao3]

Alex never claimed to be subtle.

He watched Michael openly, his thumb between his teeth as he eyed the way he pulled his shirt over his head. He knew this was probably inappropriate. However, Michael was hot and had yet to tell him to stop staring. Sometimes it seemed like he deliberately did things to make Alex stare. So Alex kept on and hoped that, if he was only doing this to make fun of Alex, at least he got something nice to look at.

“Hey, Alex,” Michael called, tossing his sweaty shirt into his bag and grabbing a dry one, “Do you think your brother would mind if I stayed over tonight? I don’t feel like going home.”

Alex swallowed and sat up straight. He looked around at the other guys in the locker room. He was sure one of them would say something. Magically, they didn’t. 

“Clay won’t care,” Alex said, trying to seem nonchalant. Michael closed his locker and looked at him with a massive grin as he pulled his shirt down. His hair was still damp with sweat and it stuck to his forehead. Both of those things together were too much for Alex’s sanity.

“Cool. Meet you after school at my truck?”

“Okay. Yeah.”

Michael leaned close into Alex’s face and gave a mocking, “Okay, yeah,” before he laughed and walked around Alex. He twisted on the bench and followed him with his eyes as he went to the other side of the locker room where his other friends were. They instantly started talking about the game next Friday and how they were playing Carlsbad and how their team’s cheerleaders were hot. Michael didn’t deny it and Alex tried not to feel weird about it.

Instead, he grabbed his back and quickly headed out of the locker room. He hated gym and had put it off until his senior year, but now he was stuck doing it with basically no one to talk to except sophomore loners who seemed content to fail the class. He felt that.

The only highlight of it was Michael Guerin who he got to watch work up a sweat for 45 minutes every single day of the week. He got to watch him play dodgeball with too much enthusiasm and run the mile at the fastest in the class and play put-out with his friends. Alex had, somehow, befriended him when they were freshmen and both the youngest in their math class, so they stuck together. Then sophomore year they had Spanish together, junior year they had chemistry, this year they had gym. It wasn’t much but it was enough to spark an unlikely class-only friendship that turned into a school-only friendship that turned into an actual one.

He was Alex’s favorite person in the world.

The next two classes passed by relatively quickly, solely relying on the fact that Alex wasn’t paying attention and instead doodling aimlessly in his notes. Science was boring, math was easy.

Alex let himself into Michael’s truck because he was a dumbass who never locked it and sat in the passenger seat. His notebook stayed in his lap and he kept shading in the boat he was working on as the parking lot filled with other people going to their cars and people going to their buses. Michael always talked to his fellow football players before he left considering they couldn’t leave until the buses did anyway, so Alex wasn’t in a rush.

When Michael did climb in, he raised his head to get a good look at him. Because he always wanted to get a good look at him. Today, just like most days, he looked gorgeous and lit up from the inside and he was already staring at Alex.

“What’cha drawing?” he asked, scooting to the middle to look at Alex’s book. He pressed up against his side and eyed it, nodding his head. “Nice. I’m gonna get one of those tattooed on me one day.”

“What? A boat?”

“No, one of your pieces,” Michael laughed, shaking his head as he moved back to the driver’s seat. He turned the ignition and Alex stared at the side of his face. “Whichever one you think I should. Think about it.”

And Alex would think about it. It wasn’t even the first time he thought about it. Michael had spoken of getting one of his drawings on him before and the thought was quite possibly the most erotic thing Alex could think of which was ridiculous. There was nothing sexy about that in reality. But… Michael shirtless and having something Alex created permanently on his skin was just so good.

He went back to the drawing before he could entertain putting his tongue on it.

Michael turned up the radio before backing out of his spot and then they were on their way to Alex’s house. He put his drawing down in favor of watching out the window as Michael badly sang along to Nirvana and Beck.

Junior year was the first time Michael had come over to his house and it had felt weird to acknowledge that the person he’d spoken to nearly every day for over two years knew approximately nothing about his home life. Alex had half-assed an explanation about how his mother left and his dad was in jail, so Alex only lived with his brothers. Michael hadn’t judged him, only loudly made it clear he thought Clay was badass for stepping up when he was freshly 18 to make sure the rest of them didn’t get too screwed.

It was a few more after school hangouts after that that Michael confided that he’d been in the foster care system since he was a baby and had been in a group home for the last few years. Teenage boys were a hard sell to foster parents, apparently.

Clay had no problem giving his number to the group home to call for check-ins whenever Michael started staying over. 

“Please tell me he got spicy Doritos because I‒hell yeah,” Michael said, letting himself roam freely around the kitchen. He pulled the bag of spicy nacho Doritos labeled Michael out of the pantry and ripped them open, a grin on his face. Alex could watch it all day.

“Can I steal the bar mix that you haven’t touched in, like, a month?” Flint asked, his gaze stuck on his computer where he was doing homework. His eyebrows were pulled into an angry glare at it.

“Yeah, sure, if it’s still good,” Michael answered, falling onto the couch right beside Alex and holding out the bag to him. Alex shook his head. Michael often got food obsessions and would go a month where that was all he wanted, but during bad days it was the only thing he could eat that didn’t make him lose his appetite. 

Despite the fact that he was all smiles, Alex had memorized the warning signs and knew he wouldn’t be eating dinner.

“Sweet,” Flint said, sliding to the pantry to grab the remnants of Michael’s last food obsession.

One of the warning signs that Michael wasn’t doing great, despite the fact that he’d asked to come over at all and hadn’t just invited himself, was the fact that he had taken any excuse all day to be tactile Alex. He’d spent all lunch and gym with him instead of with his football buddies, he’d wanted to sit closer in the truck, he immediately sat practically on top of him on the couch.

Later that night, he sat beside him at dinner and picked at it, only eating the crunchy asparagus and the edges of the tortilla part of his quesadilla. Alex ate what he didn’t.

Michael took a shower and wore Alex’s clothes and made himself at home in Alex’s bed, all cozy and on his phone with his thumb in his mouth when Alex got out of the shower. When they’d first started spending the night together, Michael slept on the couch or on the floor. One night they’d fallen asleep in Alex’s bed during a movie and now that’s where he went each night.

Alex didn’t mind.

He shut off the lights and jumped into bed, putting on Netflix on the TV and starting up where they’d left off in their third watch-through of The Good Place. Michael scooted closer until they were touching in some way, his eyes still partially on his phone and partially on the TV.

It should’ve bothered Alex. It should’ve felt like taunting. Occasionally he did feel the need to shake him and ask him if he really wasn’t seeing how much Alex was into him. Was the staring not enough? Was the way he got a bit dizzy whenever he realized Michael was beginning to smell like Alex’s shampoo not enough? Was Alex’s eyes tracing every bead of sweat that rolled across his face like he hadn’t had water in weeks not enough? Was every single one of Michael’s other friends mentioning that they acted “kinda gay” not enough?

But mostly Alex was fine with it. Michael was safe here and comfortable and Alex wasn’t going to ruin that by wanting something more. So he would keep his hands to himself. He wouldn’t be subtle, but he wouldn’t be overbearing. He would just be Alex and hope that was alright.

“Alex,” Michael whispered, moving until his head was on Alex’s shoulder. Alex hummed in response. “Can you tell me a bedtime story about your boat?”

Alex smiled and shifted, his fingers slipping into Michael’s hair. Michael tilted his head up until they locked eyes. They were so close, just like every time Michael requested a bedtime story, as if that was the only acceptable time to be less than an inch away from each other’s face. Alex very quietly thought that their entire friendship felt like one.

“Once upon a time, there was a very loud pirate captain,” Alex started, watching as Michael’s thumb slowly started gravitating towards his mouth again, “He was old and held very strict beliefs. If you disagreed, he’d throw you overboard.”

“What a dick.”

“Mm, yeah, very. Anyway, he was always angry and his crew were like ‘shit, what if he’s lonely’ and decided they needed to get him a friend.”

“Oh no, poor lonely pirate man,” Michael said around his thumb.

“Poor lonely pirate man indeed,” Alex agreed, nodding solemnly, “So they searched high and low for anyone to be his companion. Not someone on the crew, but someone who would be his equal and separate from his employees. It was a very complicated task. They would find people who seemed good, but then the pirate captain wouldn’t like them and kick them out. It happened so many times they almost gave up. But eventually, they found an astronaut who seemed like a good fit because he was very smart and very happy.”

Michael pulled his thumb from his mouth with a loud pop, “So they really searched high, huh?”

Alex huffed a laugh and nodded, combing back his hair. His heart thudded in his chest as he stared at him, at his interested and tired eyes. God, he was so into him. Every single bit of him. Even when he needed moments like these.

“Yeah, really high. And they brought him back to the boat to meet the captain and they really, really thought he would hate him. But you know what? He didn’t. They actually got on quite well. And the captain started becoming a lot less angry,” Alex said. Michael shifted, pressing closer.

“And did the astronaut change?”

“Mhm. He got to relax too. He didn’t feel like he had to be super smart and happy to make everyone else happy anymore, he could just be himself. He could even be sad sometimes and that was okay because he had someone who liked him no matter what,” Alex explained, “He even would stop at islands to get his favorite foods.”

“Were they just best friends or were they in love?” Michael asked. Alex swallowed carefully and scanned his eyes over his face, trying to gauge what would be a better answer.

“They started as just best friends,” Alex decided, “But they fell in love. They were both. Somewhere in between.”

“Somewhere in between?”

“Yeah, like, not quite just best friends and not quite together romantically. Something different. Something special,” Alex tried. Michael watched him closely. In the background, Eleanor watched herself fall in love with Chidi for one of the hundreds of times they fell in love and Alex tried not to be too poetic about it.

“Alex,” Michael said, his hand dropping between them, “Are we somewhere in between? It feels like we are”

The question was honestly innocent but Alex stopped breathing, not knowing how to answer. He had a football player cuddling up to him in his bed. He should say no. He should save his own ass. He should keep it to himself.

But Michael was comfortable enough to cuddle him, to be babied when he needed it, to be raw and open.

So why couldn’t Alex?

“Do you wanna be?” Alex asked. Michael blinked. “Or… like… do you wanna be somewhere… not in between?”

“Like, on the other side? The romantic side?” Michael clarified. Alex nodded slowly, unsure. “Does it mean I get goodnight kisses?”

Alex let out a slow breath and laughed cautiously, “If you want them.”

“I want them,” Michael said assuredly. Alex couldn’t fucking think straight and he was just smiling stupidly at him. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Goodnight kisses, right here,” Michael said, tapping his lips delicately.

“Right. Okay.”

Alex moved his head just a little to give him a soft kiss, barely lasting a few seconds. He didn’t want to be too presumptuous. And, still, it was probably the best kiss he’d ever had in his life. His heart was trying to escape his chest.

He was really doing this. This was really happening.

“Did they live happily ever after, Alex?” Michael asked against his lips. Alex breathed and nodded.

“Yeah. They did.”