#how we can forgive ourselves & help/comfort others in times of struggle and despair...

[noxtivagus]

doing ffxiv quests always enlightens me

[kyber-crystal]

lost in space || s.r

summary: post-IW in which you’re stuck on the ship with tony and nebula. knowing you didn’t have much time left before oxygen levels ran out for good, you decide to send a final goodbye message to the man you’ve grown to love over the past several years.

words: ~2.1k

warnings: angst in the beginning, fluff, major feels, worried steve ;-p

a/n: i took inspo for another oneshot like this that i read but then i got a bunch of new related ideas, so here we go!

22 days.

22 days of drifting through empty space with Tony and Nebula.

After day 16, you began losing hope in returning home. Nobody had to say anything for you to put two and two together and realize you didn't have much longer before what little was left of your oxygen supply ran out. So this had the three of you accepting you wouldn't make it through, opting to make the best of the time you had left. Your breathing became more heavy and labored, as the act of taking a single breath had now grown more difficult with each passing minute.

While she didn't want to admit it, Nebula thought having you and Tony by her side was much better than imagining being alone. It was an unspoken agreement that you all enjoyed each others' company; seeing you were all you had now after losing almost everything.

You exhaled as you sat in the cockpit of the ship, chin resting in your hand as you gazed out the glass dome and took in the eerie yet beautiful sight that space had to offer.

Feeling a rough hand clasp your shoulder, you turned around to see Tony standing there.

"Hey," he smiled softly, holding his remaining granola bar out to you. "You haven't eaten all day. Why don't you take the rest of this."

"No, I can't do that," you shook your head. "You need to eat, too."

"Your health is just as important, Y/N. You've lost too much weight in these past three weeks."

"Haven't we all."

"Just take it."

Knowing he wasn't going to stop arguing, you mumbled a 'thank you' and took the bar from him, taking a small bite.

You pushed yourself out from your chair and took a seat next to him, lowering yourself to the ground on the steps as he leaned his helmet against the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving them a message. In case things go wrong, and...we don't make it," he replied as he took in a deep breath and began fiddling with the helmet, flicking a switch inside it before tapping its' side, projecting a blue light over you two.

"Tony...we're literally going to die. I don't get why you're doing this, Steve and the others probably think we're already dead..."

"Might as well say a last good bye, then. And, recording...is this thing on?" He tapped the side of the helmet again. "Hey, Miss Potts...Pep. If you find this recording, don't post it on social media. It's gonna be a real tear-jerker. I don't know if you're ever going to see these. I don't even know if you're...if you're still...Oh, god. I hope so. Today is day 21, uh..."

"22," you corrected as you leaned back against the wall. “Or 23. Wait no, 22.”

"Yeah, 22. You know, if it wasn't for the existential terror of staring into a void of space, I'd say I'm feeling better today. The infection's run its course, thanks to the blue meanie back there."

"You’d love her. She’s very practical," you added, "Only a tiny bit sadistic."

"Anyway...some fuel cells were cracked during battle, but we figured out a way to reverse the ion charge to buy ourselves about 48 hours of time. But it's now dead in the water. We're 1000 light years from the nearest 7-11. Oxygen will run out tomorrow. And that'll be it. And Pep, I...I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one. But it looks like...well you know what it looks like. Don't feel bad about this. I mean, if you grovel for a couple of weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt. I should probably lie down. Please know that...when I drift off, I will think about you. Because it's always you."

You both fell into silence afterwards and you quickly looked away, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to try and stem the flow of tears that threatened to spill. Tony must've noticed the look on your face, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder as you stared blankly out ahead.

This really was it. When you imagined dying, you saw yourself going down on the battlefield, maybe jumping into the crossfire to save someone. Or simply passing in your sleep, dying of old age, anything but being unable to breathe.

You didn't think you'd meet your demise by running out of oxygen as you drifted mindlessly through space.

"Why don't you talk to Capsicle," Tony finally spoke up several minutes later. "This might be your only chance to get the closure you've wanted for so long."

"I'm not...it's not like that," you sighed, running a hand down your face. "He's just a friend."

"Don't bullshit me, Y/N. I know you're in love with him."

You let out another sigh, staring at his helmet blankly for a moment before opening your mouth to speak.

"Hey, Cap. You know, for the longest time, I was stuck trying to figure out what I was really meant to do, why I was ever placed on the earth to begin with," you spoke, looking out the glass at the darkness of space again, "When Fury first recruited me to the initiative, I was...I was in a dark place. And I didn't know how to get out. I felt stuck, frustrated...lost. I felt like I wasn't worthy or even the slightest bit prepared to take on the responsibilities of a hero because of all that I'd done in the past. I'd committed my fair share of sins, and...it all came down to a point where I almost lost the will to keep going, to keep living. My demons held me back from the perfect life I so desperately wanted and followed me everywhere I went. But then you came along, and for the first time in a long time, I started to hope, to...feel things again. You taught me that there was such a thing as second chances and forgiveness, that it's okay to make mistakes, and most importantly, I was meant to feel things; to love.

"You taught me that I was meant to feel happy, to allow myself the chance at living that burden-free life. That I didn't have to feel so doubtful when something good happened because all I'd ever learned was to feel suspicious when an event occurred in my favor. God, I really do owe you, huh? I honestly don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you. Maybe spiral down into an endless pit of despair and destruction? But really, I'm grateful that you walked into my life. I don't know how I'm supposed to repay you for all that you've given up for me.

You chuckled lightly and sniffled, hastily wiping at your eyes. "I know you're still out there. I hope you are. Because I know Captain America would never go down without a fight. This fight, though...you don't need to keep fighting. I've already accepted my fate. I'm going to die in less than two days...and I'm not bitter or mad at all. Death is inevitable, you know? If there's anything I took away from my torturous days in the Red Room, it was to never fear death because every girl would eventually meet her end. I'll be completely honest with myself here, I don't mind dying alongside these two...Tony and Nebula are some pretty great roommates. Who knew an alien could be so good at paper football?

The helmet flickered and you knew you didn't have much time left. "Steve...I don't want you to look back at all this in pain. I want you to live your best life...one that isn't filled with regret. And if this means moving on, starting anew...then do it. I want you to be happy. Be happy...for me.

Another tear fell, but this time you didn't bother to wipe it away. "I guess since my days are now numbered, I should let this weight off my chest...I love you, Steve Rogers. More than you'll ever know. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember and I can only hope you feel the same but I guess I might never know that answer now...we can't always get our happy endings, can we?

"I'm so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye one last time, I love you," you choked out as the recording finally powered down and you let your head fall into your hands, the tears now flowing freely down your cheeks. The ache of longing to be with him echoed through the marrow of your bones; a chill wind trapped inside your heart and a million little glass shards tearing at your guts. Nausea swirled around in your stomach, head swimming with thoughts as your blood felt like tar, struggling to flow steadily.

Reaching over, Tony carefully grasped your hand, lacing your fingers together and squeezing gently. "It's gonna be okay," he muttered, eyes closed as you trained your gaze on the glass. "It's gonna be okay."

It could've been five minutes or five hours later, but suddenly, a vast white light illuminated the space surrounding you, forcing you to shut your eyes again.

As you focused on the bright ball of light, you could make out several features of a woman, though you initially thought you were dreaming. This couldn't be real. Was it?

"Hang in there, guys, I've got you," her voice flooded your ears, before she disappeared from view.

You opened your eyes a second time to see you were speeding towards Earth, the ship slowing down slightly as the familiar outline of America came into view.

Then, a steady jolt of the Benatar indicated you'd hit solid ground, in the middle of the field in the Avengers facility.

Nebula helped Tony up first, then you. The entry hatch opened, and you carefully stepped down the ramp together onto the grass.

It was pitch-black out, the only sources of light coming from the lights that projected from the compound, but it didn't take long for your vision to adjust. A small smile found its way onto your face as you saw six familiar figures came running towards you.

"Oh my God," Pepper cried, throwing her arms around Tony's neck and holding on as if her life depended on it. "Oh my God."

You smiled wistfully as you observed your surroundings, lowering yourself onto the ramp's last set, arms crossed over your chest as you realized just how cold it actually was.

A sudden warmth enveloped you and you felt someone's leather jacket being draped over your shoulders. Seeing Steve's familiar tall figure out of the corner of your eye, you moved over slightly to allow room for him to sit.

He looked over at you in concern, taking in your pale and malnourished figure. His chest ached at the sight.

"I'm okay," you found yourself saying, "don't worry about me."

"I've been worrying about you for the past twenty-two days," he replied, hands in his pockets, "I thought you were dead."

"I'm sorry."

"I missed you."

"I missed you too," you swallowed hard.

Steve let out a shaky breath and slid an arm around your waist, pulling you close as you rested your forehead on his shoulder.

"I thought you were dead," his voice cracked, "and if you really were, then...I don't know what I'd do."

“Me neither,” you breathed out. “God, I missed you so much.”

Then all of a sudden, the whole word seemed as if it was on standstill as his sapphire blue eyes bored into yours with such an intensity that sent a chill down your spine, keeping you firmly locked in place. And it utterly terrified you because you’d never felt something so intense like this before and he was the reason why you even felt this way to begin with. 

And before you can protest against your own thoughts, you closed your fists around his shirt and gently tugged him towards you, closing the gap and kissing him. The sudden action took you both by surprise but Steve doesn’t waste any time in reacting, moving a hand from your cheek to the nape of your neck to kiss you back. 

Everyone’s too exhausted, too busy feeling relieved at the fact that you returned safely to make a teasing comment towards yours and Steve’s relationship. They’ve secretly been betting for a while that you’d finally get together, though not in this exact way. 

Until Rocket breaks the silence. “Nice welcome back gift, Agent.”

"You cockblock," Nebula flicks him in the head. "Let them have their moment, geez."

[wesleyhill]

A New World of Wedded Bliss

A homily on Mark 10:2-16, preached at Trinity Cathedral, Pittsburgh, on the Nineteenth Sunday after Pentecost 2021

In the Name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

One of the things I like about preaching in the Episcopal Church is that we preachers don’t get to choose our own Bible passages. They’re decided for us by the lectionary, the schedule of readings or “lessons” that we share with a lot of other churches, including the Roman Catholic Church. The good thing about that is that it keeps you from being subject to my particular whims as to what to preach on. And it keeps me and the other preachers here honest: we are forced to confront passages we’d maybe rather not talk about. We’re forced to grapple with what St. Paul referred to as “the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27) — the entire sweep of what God has spoken, even the bits we’re confused about or resistant to or scared of.

I confess, I would rather not have to preach about Jesus’ challenging words from our Gospel reading today. And, truthfully, I could wriggle out of it by choosing to preach on one of our other readings for this morning; that’s always an option. But I remember what I once heard a great preacher say: if your preaching is consistently failing to address the questions that your congregation has about the Bible, then you’re going to frustrate your congregation. I know many of you were paying attention as the Gospel was read just now, and I know you were probably struggling to relate Jesus’ words to your own histories and families and relationships. How do we make that connection? — that linkage between what Jesus says and the lives we’re actually living? That’s what preaching is meant to help you do, and so, with God’s help, I’m going to try this morning.

As I was thinking about our Gospel lesson this week, I came across an article in the New York Times, published this past Thursday. Written by Lara Bazelon, it was titled: “Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-Love.” The author talks about how she felt her marriage was keeping her from living fully into her sense of purpose and gifting. She says upfront that there was no emotional or physical abuse and that she is still in love with her ex, even after the divorce. Then she says: “I divorced my husband not because I didn’t love him. I divorced him because I loved myself more.” And here’s how the article concludes: “I no longer think of divorce as shameful or feel sorry for people who tell me that they have decided to end their marriages… My divorce spared my children… pain and let me live the life I was meant to. I view that as an accomplishment.”

I am fully aware that, in our fallen, broken world, divorce is sometimes necessary, sometimes best. But I think the way this article frames the matter — that divorce isn’t something to feel sad about, to mourn over — doesn’t do justice to the way many of us experience divorce. We may feel that our marriage had to end, but that doesn’t take away the ache we still feel, the wistfulness and sadness and self-doubt that can still stab us at odd moments. We may feel that we made the best choice, given the circumstances, but that doesn’t stop us from feeling like we let ourselves down — or let our ex-partner, or our children, or our parents, or our priest down.

One of the gifts our Gospel reading gives us this morning is permission to mourn divorce. If you still lament the divorce you went through, or your parents went through, or your sibling or best friend went through — if, no matter how many positive self-help podcasts you’ve listened to or therapies you’ve invested in, you still feel somehow that divorce is a tragic thing — then you can take some comfort in our reading this morning. Because the main message of it is: It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Let’s rehearse the details. Some religious leaders come to Jesus, who himself is a publicly recognized religious teacher and authority, and they pose an ethical question. They ask him whether it’s a lawful to divorce one’s wife (notice, they, who are men, don’t ask anything about the wife; her perspective and protection don’t seem to matter to them). Secretly, they’re setting a trap for Jesus. They themselves aren’t in agreement about the religious legality of divorce, and by trying to force Jesus to pick a side in their debate, they expect he’ll embarrass himself with a large segment of his audience, one way or the other, and that’s exactly what they want. In short, they’re using a debate about divorce as an opportunity to try to drag Jesus down into a partisan spat and thereby discredit him.

True to form, Jesus doesn’t take the bait. Instead, he turns the question back on them: “What did Moses command you?” In other words, what does our shared Scripture have to say about the matter? Jesus asks. And they point out, rightly enough, that the Jewish law allows a man to divorce his wife. And then Jesus takes them off guard and reorients the entire conversation by reminding them that in the same law — the Jewish law, the Torah, that permits divorce — there’s the story at the very beginning, in the very first two chapters of the Bible, before any evil has marred the story, of God creating a man and a woman and blessing them to become “one flesh,” one new indissoluble pair. So, Jesus says, it must be because we are fallen and diminished and rendered incapable of keeping even the commitments that we most want to keep — that must be why divorce happens, because in the Bible’s depiction of the bliss of human life as God wants it to be, divorce isn’t part of the picture at all. “Because of your hardness of heart,” Jesus says, the law of Moses permitted divorce. “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’” In the world as God wants it to be, there simply are no autonomous selves in a marriage to tweeze apart in divorce.

Jesus, in other words, is simply refusing to be drawn into a debate as to when divorce is appropriate or inappropriate, when it may be justified or merely frivolous. He’s calling us to imagine a world without divorce on the table as an option at all. He’s inviting us to imagine existing in an atmosphere where love really is everything it’s cracked up to be, where promises really are kept, and violence and indifference and cruelty and boredom and spite really are nowhere to be seen. He’s calling us to imagine a world that doesn’t exist, in other words.

Except… maybe it does.

One of the scarlet threads that runs through the entire Bible, both Old and New Testaments, is that God has a spouse. God’s spouse is you and me. God’s spouse is Israel, His chosen people. God’s spouse is the church of Jesus Christ, Jesus being portrayed as the Bridegroom and we, His people, as His bride. And in the story Scripture tells, from beginning to end, God does not divorce us. No matter how many times we rebuff God, or thumb our noses at God, or give God the cold shoulder, or storm out and slam the door in God’s face, God goes on loving us. God loves and loves and loves us, all the way to whatever miserable end we find our path to, and then God loves us beyond that, opening up a future for us, forgiving us of all the ways we’ve turned our backs on God and others, and promising us a new creation in which there will be no more grief, despair, loneliness, resentment, abuse, neglect, or anything else that would try to undo our bonds with each other. In Jesus Christ God goes all the way down into death for us, and in Christ’s resurrection on Easter Sunday morning we see the ultimate triumph of God’s covenant love for us. From now on, nothing “in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).

The new world imagined by Jesus is here. It has arrived already. It has broken into our present, and it is remaking us. We can even now, stumbling attempt after flawed stumbling attempt, begin to live in light of it, to embody its promise, to partake of and revel in its audacious wholeness.

In the one of the very last scenes of the Bible, one of the early Christian prophets says that he saw a vision of us, the church, the people of God, appearing before God as God’s bride. And then he hears a heavenly voice that says this:

See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.

May that new world, which is here right now among us in and through our risen Lord Jesus, come in all its radiance and wonder and fullness. And may we taste the promise-keeping, covenant love of God in the supper of the Lamb which we’re about to eat.

Amen.

[ezekielbadung]

 Ways to grow spiritually in accordance to God Holy spirit.

A friend told me that I've never really been saved because I never walked down the aisle of a church. Is that the only way to salvation in Jesus?

People come to Christ in many different ways; your experience won't necessarily be like someone else's. Some conversions are sudden and dramatic, a radical change from one way of living to another. Some people are convicted of sin in church or at an evangelistic meeting in a basketball arena, and when given the opportunity to walk down the aisle to say, "Yes to Christ." Others find Christ through a television program where the Gospel is clearly presented. Still others repent of sin at their bedside after reading the Scriptures. God speaks to the sinner's heart no matter where we are. But there is only "One Way" to salvation, and that is through the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:6).

Paul, before he became an apostle, approached the city of Damascus on a mission to arrest followers of Jesus, when a brilliant light suddenly blinded him. Later he recounted that he fell to the ground and heard Jesus say: "Why are you persecuting Me?'" (Acts 22:7). From that moment on, Paul began serving the One he had once rejected, and God used him to spread the Gospel throughout the Roman Empire.

The important thing is not how we come to Christ, but that we do come, and that we are sure we are now trusting Christ for our salvation. We must humble ourselves in repentance of sin and receive the forgiveness that Christ Himself offers. Don't let another moment go by without making that decision. Nowhere in the Bible are we promised a second chance after death, nor are we promised even one more day of life. The Bible tells us that today is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2).

How can we grow spiritually?

No matter how long we’ve been on a spiritual journey, we can know one thing to be true. We will never just naturally keep growing deeper spiritual roots. Our very nature and propensity towards selfishness and sin will always strive to take us the other direction. But ten (10) things are listed below that will help us understand how we will grow in spirit in accordance with God holy spirit.

 Choose to Receive Christ as Savior and Lord of Our Lives

 

Without first acknowledging that Jesus Christ is Savior and Lord of our lives and making the choice to follow Him and put Him first, we will never be able to grow spiritually. We must receive His forgiveness and love and recognize the authority that He is in our lives. Learning to “abide in Him,” and dwell in His Presence every day will lead us towards deeper spiritual growth as we seek to know Him more. Without these first steps in place, the rest would seem impossible.

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” (Romans 10:9-10)

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5)

 Pray

 

God reminds us in His word the incredible importance it is to pray, to talk to Him and spend time in His Presence. Jesus, Himself, spent hours praying and coming before His Father. He reminds us to pray continually, to develop an attitude of constant communication with God. And if it was important for Jesus, it is crucial for our own spiritual journey. God desires our fellowship. He longs for us to talk to Him and listen for His voice. Sometimes, we don’t even know how to pray. Maybe we’re at a loss for words, or our hearts are broken, but we can find strength in knowing that Christ, Himself, intercedes for us when we don’t know what to pray. Just opening God’s word and praying His truths back to Him is so powerful and effective. We’re speaking out living words straight into the darkness we might find ourselves in. It renews our minds, it comforts our hearts, it brings peace to our spirits.

“Pray without ceasing,” (2 Thessalonians 5:17)

  Read God's Word

 

Read it, meditate on it, study it, learn from it, write it out, speak it out loud, teach it to your children, pray God’s words back Him… this is an absolute necessity for spiritual growth. We need His Word every day, living and breathing through us. It’s our guide in this life, it’s alive and active, it’s powerful and true, it’s our only offensive weapon against the enemy. Jesus is the Word. And withoutknowing what is within these beautiful, amazing pages, we will never fully know our Lord.

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

 Worship and Praise Him

  

Worshipping and praising our King are a powerful force in pushing back the forces of darkness and building faith within our own hearts. As we make the choice to give Him the honor due His name, even when it feels more like a sacrifice to offer praise, it will strengthen our spirits and open up the door for God to do amazing things. Scripture reminds of that over and over. Maybe we’re hurting or carrying huge burdens, but God hears, He knows, and He understands our pain. He reminds us that He encircles our praises, His Presence is close to us as He as He comforts the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He will never turn away. We can make the choice every day, to lift our hands and voices to our Mighty Savior and Lord.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16)

 Fellowship with Other Believers

  

 People are so important in this journey of life, friends and family who will stick with us no matter what we face, who will cover us in prayers and offer wise counsel and help. Find a church that teaches the word where you can grow and serve. Show up and keep showing up. Often, it’s a choice to keep seeking community when busyness or life struggles will seek to draw us away. We were never meant to journey alone. Never feel ashamed that you’re reaching out for help, that you have questions--we’re all in a continual state of growth. And no matter what we’ve walked through, God will use our stories to help others in the years still to come. It’s often through our own pain, grief, or hardship that we can have a fuller understanding of what others walk through as well. There’s great comfort in knowing that God will use what we have experienced, no matter how difficult, to help someone else. Christ, Himself, suffered and was tempted in “all things,” reminding us that He truly understands “all” that we walk through in this life.

“And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, ...” (Acts 2:42-47)

 Serve Others

 

Serving and giving to God and others around us helps us to take our eyes off ourselves and see the bigness of God in this world around us. We’re never meant to do life all on our own. He desires we use the gifts, abilities, and blessings that He’s given to us to help those around us and bring glory to Him through our lives. God reminds us in His word that it’s truly “more blessed to give than to receive…” and the life and servanthood of Jesus is our ultimate example to follow.

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace…” (1 Peter 4:10)

  Be Ruthless with Sin

Sin will always take us farther than we ever intended to go. It’s been proven over and over again. Don’t be fooled. Don’t mess around with thinking you’re strong enough to withstand it all on your own or that you can play with fire and not get burned. God calls us to strive to live holy as He is holy, He reminds us to set our minds on the things above, not on the things in this world. He invites us to ask forgiveness when we get off course and assures us of His faithfulness to forgive and wash us clean. Unconfessed sin will lead to greater difficulties down the road, increased pressure, anxiety, and even despair. But God calls us to live differently. He promises He will make all things new and bring restoration, freedom, and grace.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

 Walk in the Spirit

Learning to walk in the Spirit is learning to say no to the flesh and yes to God. It’s the willingness to put God in the driver’s seat of our lives and to choose to deny our own fleshly nature. And, it’s not always easy. In fact, it can be really, really hard, every single day. The enemy will bring temptation and fear. He will do everything He can to lead us away from choosing to live fully for God. But once we determine in our hearts that we will walk in God’s ways and pray for the filling of His Spirit in our lives, He is faithful to fill us afresh with His power. He is mighty within us. We never walk alone, God equips us to learn to walk in the fruits of His Spirit and will turn our lives around for great purpose and blessing.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”( Galatians 5:22-23)

 Believe that the Hard Times Will Bring Greater Good

  

Though this can be one of the most difficult truths of deep spiritual growth, those of us who have experienced difficult trials know the power that can come from these times. God will often use, not the easiest times of life, but the hardest seasons to bring the greatest depths of growth in our lives. It’s in those times that we learn perseverance, deeper faith, and the awareness that God is with us no matter what we face. We come to understand, through humility and pain, that it’s in our weakest moments that God becomes strong. We may not ever wish for struggles and storms in this life, but we can trust God to use them all for good, somehow, in us and through us. He is faithful and we truly can “count it all joy” when we experience hard things, because we know He’s at work on our behalf.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

 Put on the Armor of God

We will face battles in this life. Hard, spiritual battles. Enemy attacks. Difficulties and temptations. Without the armor of God protecting us day by day, we cannot stand. God has given us everything we need in this life to stand strong against the devil’s schemes and the struggles we’ll face. He desires that we live aware and follow the truths in His Word. Put on His armor, every day, be fully prepared to face whatever is up ahead, and know that you are held secure by a Mighty God.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:10-17)

Ezekiel Badung is the writer...

Facebook page:ebadung kielzy

Website:ebadungstrings.blogspot.com 

God bless you as you read.

[jewishandmore]

See No Stranger - Revolutionary Love

See No Stranger - Revolutionary Love Erev Rosh HaShanah 5781 Friday, September 18, 2020 Temple Beth Zion, Buffalo, New York by Rabbi Jonathan Freirich

We are breathless. Moving through this world, in our bodies, tonight, today, this week, this year, is enough to make us feel a constriction in our chests. Maybe we are struggling or suffering. Maybe we’re holding someone close to us who is struggling or suffering. Maybe we are reeling from fear - for our safety from any number of concerns - from the shapes of our communities under the threat of pandemic, or hatred, or climate change, or fires, or smoke, or, or, or. Maybe, like me, we are breathless from all of the above and more. I often feel that my breathlessness is a sign of weakness.

The woman who inspired these words, Valarie Kaur, wrote: Our breathlessness is a sign of our bravery. It means that we are awake to what’s happening right now: Our world is in transition.

In these last months and years, like many of us, I have sought out wisdom about overcoming divisions in our society. Recently I met, via a podcast, Valarie Kaur. She has written an astounding book, called See No Stranger: A Memoir and a Manifesto of Revolutionary Love, written after years of advocacy on behalf of her own minority community in the face of intolerance and hatred following September 11, 2001. She hails from a large Sikh family and her uncle was one of the first casualties of post-9/11 hate crimes. Nearly four years ago, Ms. Kaur spoke these words on New Year’s Eve: “The future is dark. But what if - what if this darkness is not the darkness of the tomb but the darkness of the womb? What if our America is not dead but a country that is waiting to be born? What if the story of America is one long labor? What if all of our grandfathers and grandmothers are standing behind us now, those who survived occupation and genocide, slavery and Jim Crow, detentions and political assault? What if they are whispering in our ears ‘You are brave’? What if this is our nation’s greatest transition?”

Our world is in transition.

Right now, far-right ethnic supremacist movements are rising here at home, and everywhere else.

Right now, we Americans are in the middle of a transition of the American people - within twenty-five years, there will be more minority people than white people for the first time since Europeans colonized this continent. The minorities will become the majority.

Right now, Jews of color are demanding that we change our sense of who is normal in our communities because we are not nearly as inclusive and welcoming as we think we are.

We will be part of creating a nation that has never been. A multi-racial, multi-faith, multi-cultural, multi-gendered country. Will it be one in which power is shared and we strive to protect the dignity of every person? Will we strive to build a society based on our central teachings as expressed so clearly in Deuteronomy?

“Do not to cast aside the rights of the stranger or the orphan, you are not to seize-for-payment the clothing of a widow. Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and Adonai your God redeemed you from there, therefore I command you to observe this word!” (Deut. 24:17-18)

Or will it be something else. Will we descend deeper into national despair and indifference? Will we surrender to an America of dominion by the few at the expense of the many?

Is this the darkness of the tomb or the darkness of the womb?

I don’t know.

I do know that the only way forward for me, is to show up and fulfill our obligation to Jewish teachings, to our country, and to humanity.

We must all show up and do the work together.

וְאָ֣הַבְתָ֔ אֵ֖ת יְהוָֹ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑יךָ בְּכָל־לְבָבְךָ֥ וּבְכָל־נַפְשְׁךָ֖ וּבְכָל־מְאֹדֶךָ:

“Now you are to love Adonai your God with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength!” (Deut. 6.5)

What do we mean by love in this declaration? We say it pretty often. Most of us know it pretty well. This is a commandment to love. This is not a fuzzy feeling, this is something we must do. We are not waiting to fall in love with God. We are commanded to love God. So what does it mean? In the simplest of terms, the whole paragraph in Deuteronomy describes the nature of loving God with all our hearts, all our beings, and all our strength.

וְהָי֞וּ הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה אֲשֶׁ֨ר אָנֹכִ֧י מְצַוְּךָ֛ הַיּ֖וֹם עַל־לְבָבֶךָ:

“These words, which I myself command you today, are to be upon your heart.”(Deut. 6:6)

Love means placing these words at the center of our beings - placing them on our hearts.

וְשִׁנַּנְתָ֣ם לְבָנֶ֔יךָ וְדִבַּרְתָ֖ בָּ֑ם בְּשִׁבְתְךָ֤ בְּבֵיתֶ֨ךָ֙ וּבְלֶכְתְךָ֣ בַדֶּ֔רֶךְ וּבְשָׁכְבְּךָ֖ וּבְקוּמֶךָ:

“You will teach them to your children and speak them when sitting in your house and when walking on the way, when you go to bed and when you rise up.” (Deut. 6:7)

Loving God means making these into living words for our families, in our homes, and wherever we go. Love means teaching, talking, walking, in the ways of Judaism. This is concrete. Our sages have always taught that loving God means living Torah and living Torah means the active and engaged conversation about making our families, our communities, and our society better every day. Wherever we go, whenever we speak, these words are meant to be “signs upon our hands” - guiding what we do - and “symbols before our eyes” - helping us better understand what we see and how we see - and “inscriptions upon the doorposts of our houses” - reminders whenever we enter our homes or leave them that we are learners and listeners, teachers and interpreters, and constant agents of the living words of Jewish traditions.

When Valarie Kaur then offers us this about love, we know that she means much more than the “feeling of love” - she means the commandment of love. She writes:

“Love” is more than a feeling. Love is a form of sweet labor: fierce, bloody, imperfect, and life-giving - a choice we make over and over again. If love is sweet labor, love can be taught, modeled, and practiced. This labor engages all of our emotions. Joy is the gift of love. Grief is the price of love. Anger protects those who are loved. And when we think we have reached our limit, wonder is the act that returns us to love.

“Revolutionary love” is the choice to enter into wonder and labor for others, for our opponents, and for ourselves, in order to transform the world around us. It is not a formal code or prescription but an orientation to life that is personal and political and rooted in joy. Loving only ourselves is escapism; loving only our opponents is self-loathing; loving only others is ineffective. All three practices together make love revolutionary, and revolutionary love can only be practiced in community.

This beautiful articulation of love - especially the connections to joy, grief, anger, and wonder, the love for others, ourselves, and our opponents, can be viewed as a counterpart to Judaism.

We have already looked at loving God through V’ahavta - which places love in the realm of hearts and minds, teaching and learning, and at home and in public, in family and in community.

Here is another prominent text to expand our Jewish sense of Ms. Kaur’s revolutionary love.

“You are not to take-vengeance, you are not to retain-anger against the descendants of your people, rather love your neighbor like yourself, I am Adonai!” (Lev. 19:18)

Historically, our sages read this to apply to “our people” - to fellow Jews.

Let us go back to our central ethic, “Do not oppress the stranger, because we were strangers in Egypt.”

We can use Ms. Kaur’s words from her Sikh traditions for this as well - we must see no strangers.

To love our neighbor as ourselves, to take no vengeance, to recognize that God is demanding this of us is to revolutionarily love both ourselves and everyone else and understand all of our interconnections.

Love God - see the practices of our hearts and beings as ones that we do in every moment of every day with everyone we are with and everywhere we go.

Love ourselves - find the divine within ourselves. Know that we are partners in our own constant education and improvement. See the miraculous within our very essences.

Love those around us - whomever they are. There are no strangers. There are no enemies. There are only teachers and friends that we have yet to develop.

This is revolutionary love.

This is demanding of our time and attention.

This is a lifelong and moment-to-moment practice.

This is honoring our history of overcoming oppression as a people.

This is devoting ourselves to a future that is more just and safer for ourselves and for everyone.

When we walk out into the sunlight tomorrow afternoon, perhaps a little cramped from watching Rosh Hashanah Services on screens, let us start with a little self-forgiveness, a little self-love. Then extend it to those nearest us. Extend that love and forgiveness outward. This is a difficult time and we need all the help that we can get. And then, take this challenge with me, extend that love and forgiveness to people we haven’t yet met, to the stranger on the street, and to the people with whom we disagree.

Love means joy - the celebration with the people we love. Find someone the celebrate the new year with and bring more joy into the world.

Love means grief - the journeying with one another when we suffer and suffer loss. Grieve with each other. Build the bonds of camaraderie and companionship that show the effort and devotion of love. Go out of our way to help comfort those who grieve.

Love means anger - when those we love are hurt, when we see injustice to anyone, we must feel our anger and turn it into action. We must not suppress it nor must we surrender to it. Let our anger rise up in a love of justice for all. We must reach out to those who suffer from injustice and listen to their lament and then travel with them on the long road to repair.

And most of all, love means wonder - awe in the face of all creation, awe in the miracle of every person, and wonder in the face of all that we do not know. When we encounter the vastness of one another and the world with wonder, we open up ourselves to possibilities of love.

May this year, this 5781, be one of learning to love better

May this year be one of shared grief and shared joy that brings us ever closer.

May this year be one in which we see no strangers.

May we emerge this year into more light for us all.

L’shanah tovah.

[xo-ellisa]

A letter for you

First of, I have waited a long time to finally gather all the courage i have within me in putting into words all the things I’m about to tell you. But forgive me, for i am not best at writing and may not use the best words and neither the best way in expressing my own thoughts and feelings. Be that as it may, i feel like this is about time to write this letter to you as i do not want to live life in remorse for not saying the things i should have said and for keeping these to myself too much. So please bear with me, I hope reading this will help you receive the message I have been trying to send you.

My dearest love, we both know how much you mean to me; almost like an oxygen that helps me to keep surviving. You are everything. My world lit with the endless love, passion and strength you provide me. Senses of hopes and dreams are what I am able to lay hold of at last -- because you make me feel that life is not always so gloomy and mundane.

 I used to consider myself as the unlucky one for not being able to have a taste of what true happiness is like, and i tried to live my life accepting those facts. But my love, as you walked in into mine, everything seems to be in the realms of possibility, as if grasping the stars are attainable. i do not know if one could ever feel the way i feel on a person, but this feeling i have towards you is by far the biggest, and greatest feeling i have ever experience in my entire life. You give me cold feet along with sense of joy. It’s scary but at the same time, worth it.

Of course, I never said it would be easy for us, a relationship is rather full of challenges and struggles. I admit, sometimes it terrifies me because things do not always go the way we want it to be. At times, we hurt the people we love and it is inevitable even when we try to. You hurt me, and I hurt you too. Indeed, bad choices are not always seen as mistakes, but it is all a part of learning process.  And that is why our relationship is so beautiful, as we could even turn those bad, painful and suffering moments into something so positive which helps us in becoming stronger, better. 

And together, we shall prove everyone that we are meant to be, that we are inseparable. Challenges may throw us into deep of the ocean, and hole of fire even. It may beat us to the ground, and burn us to dusk— even when everything seems to be so hopeless and in despair, i would forever still, hold on to you and i know you would too. I have always believe how much you are capable of and the good of a person you are, and I have never stopped believing in that. We love each other a lot, and that is all that matters. They say, as long as we hold on to each other, we shall remain forever. After all, we are the pillar of our relationship and without one of us, our home will never stand still.

I know, at times you may wonder why I choose to love you. And like I have always told you, it has always been because of your true self,  inside out. I am inlove with every detail of you that is impossible to ever find another person who is exactly like you. Of course, nobody is perfect, but those traits that we define as ‘flaws’ to ourselves are what define us, as us. I love your whole personality; a person who has a heart of gold, so loving and thoughtful, quirky but in a good way, serious yet can be so goofy and much, much more. I love every part of you and even down to the smallest detail. Even a simple gesture or action manage to tickle my heart and put me into joy. Its amazingly weird that I am so inlove with you even when you did not have to do anything but being your whole self. You are so perfect in your way that I have always asked myself “how can i be so lucky to have this person as mine”.

But most importantly, i love you for how you make me feel about myself when i am with you. The version of me, i feel like i can be at my best only when i am with you. You taught me on so many things, advised me on numerous stuffs, and has always reminded me on something so big and so important in life, which is to love myself more. I have always been tough to myself but you love me unconditionally and have always given me room to make mistakes and ready to correct me when i need to be corrected. You have always told me i am better than i think, pushed me out of my comfort zone and inspired me to always improve myself.

And for that i am grateful that you stepped into my life and changed the world for me, making it a better place to live in. Thank you for choosing me when you could have chosen anyone else in this world. Thank you for loving me even when i feel like i dont deserve to be loved. Thank you for standing by me even when the world screwed me over. But most of all, thank you for not giving up on me and still see me as the best even when i give reasons for you to be wrong. If only you knew how long i have waited and how much i had to go through to be able to find someone like you, you wouldnt believe it. Your existence has played so much role in my life. Not even words could describe how incredibly fortunate i feel to have you as my significant other. You are the greatest blessing from god, a gift from heaven indeed. And i would never take such blessing for granted. I love you, and i love you always.

With endless love; tight, assuring hugs; and showers of kisses,

Ellisa.

[kamiboothblog]

On the Contrary...

This is a friendship lamp. My daughter recently gave one to her best friend for her 16th birthday. Whenever one of the girls wants to let the other know she is thinking about her, she reaches over and touches her lamp, which in turn lights up the other. 

How timely that these girls got the lamps - a clever and colorful means of connection - only days before the covid-19 crisis catapulted us into the throngs of social distancing. And how ironic that these lamps bring joy and comfort by means of touch, while touch - and any close contact - has become life-threatening outside of our homes.

It seems to me this global pandemic is a lesson in paradox. A new, microscopic germ has nearly shut down this big old world. To collectively save the masses, we must each, individually, do our part to contain its spread. For some, that means staying at home and doing next to nothing. For others, it means long hours risking their own lives to tend to the sick or to stock and deliver essentials like food and medicine. Either way, in order to gather again, we must first isolate. As we do this, we are connecting through technology like never before - with e-learning, remote work, online music and fitness classes, live stream worship services and more. A population long divided by politics, race, religion, borders and seas, we are joining together - to support each other and to fight against a common enemy.

Undoubtedly like yours, my emotions during this unprecedented time are just as conflicting. What’s more, they often change from day to day, hour to hour and minute to minute. Friends and family also have voiced disparate feelings about this new normal in which we are living: 

“It’s so hard.”

“I’m bored.”

“I’m anxious.”

“I’m not worried at all.”

“I’m struggling.”

“I’m embracing the moment.”

Certainly it is difficult to know how to feel when we are in unchartered waters and so many restrictions suddenly have been placed upon us. As Americans living in a country built on the concepts of freedom and free will, we are now being told what we can and can’t do and where we can and can’t go - all for the noble and necessary intention of saving lives. It’s enough to challenge the heartiest of humans. And then there’s the guilt: For complaining about our current circumstances, because “it could be worse.” For feeling like we aren't doing enough, or wishing we had the opportunity to take a break and do less. For living while others are fighting for their life...or dying. For longing for arguably more dispensable things - morning coffee with friends, dinner out, a hair cut, a shopping trip, an afternoon at the ballpark, a vacation...

Let me emphasize something, because it is so very important: We are allowed to grieve our own personal losses in this pandemic, even if they may seem less significant than others’. We are not only dealing with a loss of lives but a loss of employment, a loss of freedom, a loss of safety and security, and a loss of innocence. In my humble opinion, these are all legitimate reasons to mourn. There is no right or wrong way to feel in a crisis. So in this time of restrictions, let me also humbly suggest some things that we ARE free to do:

We are allowed to hope - and to despair.

We are allowed to feel strong. We are allowed to feel weak.

We are allowed to feel capable. We are allowed to feel inept.

We are allowed to question as well as accept.  

We are allowed to be creative. We are allowed to stick to routine.

We are allowed to discuss our dreams and make known our nightmares.

We are allowed to feel angry. We are allowed to feel calm.

We are allowed to work and to rest.

We are allowed to focus. We are allowed to drown in distraction.

We are allowed to be curious. We are allowed to be uninterested.  

We are allowed to laugh and to cry.  

We are allowed to ask for help and to offer it.

We are allowed to be courageous. We are allowed to be afraid.

We are allowed to cherish our family time together. We are allowed to resent the disruptions and stress that sheltering together can create. 

We are allowed to miss people. We are allowed to not miss them and feel relief about putting some distance between us.

We are allowed to take care of ourselves as much as we take care of others. 

We are allowed to grieve. We are allowed to celebrate.

We are allowed to say, “No, that makes me uncomfortable.” We are allowed to say, “Yes, that makes me more comfortable.”

We are allowed to reminisce. We are allowed to look toward the future.

We are allowed to remember and to forget. 

We are allowed to raise our voices - or choose to be silent.

We are allowed to forgive ourselves for not knowing better. We are allowed to learn new information and behaviors so that we know better.

We are allowed to be productive or idle. 

We are allowed to have faith yet still worry.

We are allowed to crumble. We are allowed to rise again.

We are allowed to feel too much, too little, or nothing at all. 

We are allowed to feel and be all of this and more, because in this deeply troubling time, we are still, always and forever, deeply human.

[bethanydevos]

“Finding Wholeness in Community: Better Together” - by Intern Rachel Patterson

“… but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).

It takes this idea of walking in the light to have fellowship with one another; what a powerful notion!  And it seems so true, for when I feel myself veering off of Jesus’ path of love and forgiveness, I find it extremely difficult to be in community and fellowship with others.  I only find mistrust and brokenness—a place where a strong relationship cannot thrive. In our world today, it seems community is even more important than ever. With the Coronavirus creating a sense of fear and panic, it seems so easy to look at one another with mistrust or to look out for ourselves before others.  Yet it seems now is an opportunity to share God’s love more than ever—to find ways to care for those who may be struggling or who feel alone.  Perhaps it is just a kind note, or a phone call, but we all need support during times of crisis.

*Devotional Question: What does caring for the least of these, as the gospel of Matthew urges us to do, mean and look like in a time of fear and health concerns?  How can our faith increase in times of confusion and crisis?

We too often experience division based on religion or political ideology, when Christ continually calls for us to come together in love.  I own for myself the ways in which I “other” people– the ways in which I turn my head, look away in defeat and say to myself, they will never understand. But the world loses when we do that. The world loses when we give up on each other.  It’s so easy to say that “people will never change, so why bother”.  But we lose out on the beauty of fellowship when we allow that to happen.  We lose sight of what it means to be a Kin-dom, a Family of God.  Being part of the mystery of the Kin-dom of God is not being surrounded by like-minded folks who “get it”.  It’s about living in the tension, and overcoming our differences for the sake of love and community.  Yes, we have to speak out, and speak against injustice for the sake of our neighbor and for the sake of the world.  But at the end of day, we are all made in the “Imago Dei”, the Image of God, and if we can’t find ways to like our neighbor, at least we can try and love them (you may have heard it said before, “I love you, but I don’t have to like you”.  Sometimes that may be the truth of it).

*Scripture verses for encouragement: Galatians 5: 13-14: “For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for self-indulgence, but through love become slaves to one another. For the whole law is summed up in a single commandment, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."’

Philippians 2: “If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others… Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed me, not only in my presence, but much more now in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

And I struggle with this! I struggle because I feel like while I am trying to be loving, those on the other end of the table are looking for ways to knock my legs out from under me.  And sometimes I react to this in anger.  Sometimes my passion for what I know in my heart is right overwhelms me and I can’t help but yell it out. Sometimes the vision of God’s Kin-dom is so pervasive and vivid in my mind that I just feel heart-breakingly defeated when others cannot seem to understand what I see.  So where do I find comfort?  How do I maintain relationships with people who think so very differently from me that it would seem so much easier to just walk away?  It helps when I remember that it is not up to me to change hearts and minds.  Honestly, it helps to reiterate the mantra, “it’s not about me,” because it’s not.  Others understanding of the world is not about me, and it’s not up to me to fix them.  And as difficult as it is, I have to remember that most of the time I actually really do love these people.  Maybe they are close family members, or a childhood friend with whom I share a lot of wonderful memories.  They are a part of me somehow, in some way, and I can’t just let go of that because we see things differently.  And maybe we don’t see things as differently as our voting record might suggest.  Maybe we have just been taught to regurgitate certain rhetoric filtered through our favorite news sites, but things won’t really change until we can come together with the remembrance that each of us is a beloved child of God.

 I am so tired of screaming out into the wind all the ways I want the world to change.  I have to comfort myself knowing that the world is changing–God is always revealing something new, even when I fail to see it. Though while we may be walking in darkness much of the way, each of us can be a light. Even in the midst of fear, despair, strife, and sickness, God is active and among us.  We live in a post-resurrection world, but what does that mean?  I am still learning what it means to experience the in-breaking of the Kin-dom of Heaven in the here and now.  I am still learning what it means to see beauty in the everyday.  Each of us can carry a shred of hope for the restoration of peace and harmony.   I may not be able to argue my point effectively, but I can still show love in a way that honors God.  As is written in 1 John, it is only in unity with the other that we can be truly cleansed from our sin.  Or said a different way, it is only in restoration of a broken relationship that we can find wholeness.  In a world where suicide and mass killings run rampant, where events, schools, and even churches are closing due to illness, we need to lean on each other; we need to know that we are not alone, and that we can seek refuge in community. Stick together, friends.  Hold one another close and remind each other of why it is important to have fellowship, for it is oh-so-true that we are often better together.  Amen.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Worship from Home: August 13, 2017

This series aims to provide folks who can’t make it to church for any variety of reasons with prayers, songs, and sermons. My hope is that these posts will help you worship from home, knowing that others are using the same content and thus, though we may be miles and miles apart, we worship together. See this post for more information.

If you prefer to worship with different material, see this masterpost of sermons and full services online that should all be LGBTA+ friendly.

This week’s readings center around faith and where we find God. We have Elijah, a refugee on the run from would-be killers, hiding out in a cave and finding God in the silence. We have Paul assuring readers that God is found among all peoples. And we have Jesus, walking on stormy waters and lifting us up regardless of how strong our faith is or isn’t. 

I have attempted to weave what is going on in Charlottesville, Virginia, into this post, as both comfort and action are imperative at this time. 

Still your soul, and let us worship God together. 

Gathering

Hymn: “Silent Song” (contemporary) 

A reflection by Jan Richardson:

I am learning—again, anew—what faith is, how this word that we sometimes toss around so casually holds depths within depths that will draw us beyond nearly everything we once believed.

This is some of what I know right now about faith:

That faith is not something I can summon by a sheer act of will.

That it lives and breathes in the community that encompasses us.

That I cannot force faith but can ask for it, can pray that it will make its way to me and bear me up over the next wave, and the next.

That it comes.

That I can lean into it.

That it will propel me not only toward the Christ who calls me, but also back toward the boat that holds my life, incomprehensible in both its pain and its grace.

What are you knowing about faith right now? Where is it bearing you?

(The rest of the post is under a readmore; let me know if you can’t access it!)

Hymn: “Above My Head”

Call to Worship

Spirit of God, brooding over the waters of our chaos, inspire us to generous living.

Wind of God, dancing over the desert of our reluctance, lead us to the oasis of celebration.

Breath of God, inspiring communication among strangers, make us channels of your peace,

that we may give in deep thankfulness, placing the overflowing basket of our gifts on the table of rejoicing.

(source)

Confessional Prayer

In light of white supremacist nazis marching in Charlottesville, Virginia, we confess to God our exhaustion over all the hate in our world. 

Sometimes I am afraid that my heart is shrinking.  ...I worry that as I hear about more deaths, and more pain, and more sorrow, and more anger, I am going to feel less. I fear that the more I know, the less I am able to respond; the more I know, the greater my paralysis; the more I know, the more responsible I feel, but that the more I know, the more I fear that what I do is insignificant and won’t help any life matter. And sometimes that feeling gets so big that I want to just shut it down.

So I am afraid my heart is shrinking. 

I am afraid that instead of trying to put more love into the world, I am trying to figure out where I do and don’t have to spend my love. ... [Continue reading this prayer here]

Hymn: “Be Still and Know That I Am God”

Readings

1 Kings 19:1-18 -- God speaks to Elijah when he is lost in deepest despair not through an earthquake or fire but in a little silence. 

Psalm 85 -- “Will you not revive us again, so that your people may rejoice in you? Show us your steadfast love, O God, and grant us your salvation.”

Romans 10:5-15 -- “For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; the same God is God of all and is generous to all who call on Them. For, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Holy One shall be saved.’”

Matthew 14:22-33 -- Jesus walks upon the water and Peter leaves the boat.

Sermon

Option 1: “Our Faith Inside the Boat”; text only

But is that really what Jesus really wants us to hear in this particular gospel lesson? One thing that’s true about Matthew’s gospel is it’s interested in community. It’s really interested in figuring out what it means to be the church, the body of Christ in the world, the gathering of people who are trying to follow Christ together. Matthew really isn’t interested in great heroes of the faith, singular individuals who go above and beyond. If, like Peter, they go swinging their legs out over the side of the boat, leaving the rest of the disciples behind trying to row and manage in the storm, we’re likely to see such an individual take a few steps and then plunge beneath the waves, surely to drown, if not for the grace and love and forgiveness of Jesus who always, always, reaches out to save, even when we get confused and fearful and full of doubt.

Option 2: “Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness”; audio and PDF

This sermon is not based on this week’s readings, but is pertinent to our time. What is gentleness? Does it mean we can never fight back against injustice?

Option 3: “The Sound of Silence”; text and audio

“But the Sacred One comes in the silence -- God chooses the mode of discourse -- god is not in the fire, the quake or the storm, but God chooses silence to communicate with Elijah in that moment. Though silence may be intimidating, we stand a lot to gain from practicing it. In silence we are offered a chance to examine those vulnerabilities and truths we were once afraid of. We gain insight into ourselves, and introspection into our souls. In resting in quiet, we become more comfortable with our own vulnerabilities and truths and know ourselves better. WE become less dependent on sound as a protective barrier and embrace self-awareness, which also makes us more accessible to others. Howard Thurman reflected on his need to abandon speech at times and accept silence, he said, ‘I abandon all that I think that I am, all that I hope to be, all that I believe I possess. I let go of the past, I withdraw my grasping hand from the future, and in the greatest silence of this moment, I alertly rest my soul.’"

Hymn: “Father, in this Suffering”

Reflection

In Faith Beyond Resentment: Fragments Catholic and Gay, James Alison invites us to bring ourselves to a space where our hearts are safe to become “close-to-cracking.” We cannot always afford to be so vulnerable, but at times we need to be:

“This close-to-cracking comes upon us at a moment when we do not know how to speak well, when we find ourselves threatened by confusion.”

When our hearts crack, the Word of God enters in through those cracks. Faith and love require vulnerability -- how will you protect your heart while also keeping it open enough to receive and give love? 

Hymn: “Walk on the Water” (contemporary; lyrics)

Benediction

Creator of Life, You desire for us to have life abundantly. A full life includes times of struggle and doubts. Guide us through the troubled times with care and with the confidence that You are present with us and will see us through to the other side. As we go out into the world, help us to bear one another’s burdens and share in one another’s celebrations. Remind us always to pray, to care, and to reach out to each other, so that we might travel through the times of doubts and challenges with hope leading us forward.  In the name of Christ, the Light of the World that guides us, we pray. Amen.

(source; edited slightly)

Hymn: “I Will Sing”

[Image description: Elijah is huddled in a cave surrounded by prismatic colors; source]

[bthenoise]

Track By Track: Here’s Everything You Need To Know About Wolves At The Gate’s Powerful LP ‘Eclipse’

For nearly ten years now, Ohio post-hardcore outfit Wolves At The Gate have been providing some of the most consistent and thought-provoking heavy music around. From 2012′s scorching debut Captors to today’s fierce eye-opener Eclipse, Wolves At The Gate continue to churn out melodic yet hard-hitting records that make you want to both sing and scream along to.

Take the band’s latest LP, for example. For 13 straight songs, the Solid State signees are able to give listeners a wide range of emotions embodying the perfect balance of heavy and soft. Talking about the motivation behind blending these two contrasting styles together, vocalist/guitarist Stephen Cobucci says it all ties into the album’s name. 

“We named the record Eclipse because of how well it encapsulated the relationship the light and the dark can have,” he says. “An eclipse tells you that it's dark, but it takes truth and faith to know that the sun is still shining. All of this revolves around my walk of faith in believing the truths of the gospel message, seeking to help others find hope and peace in the love of God, as well as how to come to grips with various social/political/personal issues.”   

Giving fans an even further look into the brilliant work of art that is Eclipse, Cobucci sat down with The Noise to explain the meanings behind each and every song on the album. To check out the singer’s honest and open track by track rundown, be sure to look below. Afterward, make sure to pick up a copy of Eclipse here.   

The Cure

We're excited that this is the first track people hear on the new record because it truly captures the wide dynamics sonically and lyrically that we wanted to deliver. Both musically and lyrically it's a roller coaster of darkness, tension, and release. The whole album revolves around the idea of the light being obscured by the darkness and creating a “different reality.” This song is about how when that darkness comes, it creates a different reality that seems so real but is just a lie. This song cries out for help and grace in times of doubt and fear.

Face To Face

“Face To Face” probably went through the most changes to its structure. It was rewritten more times than I can remember. Our guitarist Joey believed in it from the first day he heard it and worked hard to help it get to its final stages. Regardless of all of those changes, the lyrical content remained the same. We so often fear having our weaknesses and flaws revealed, going to great lengths to ensure they are hidden from everyone to see. ... This song is about how I was forced to come to grips with many of my sins and weaknesses in order for me to see that there is forgiveness in the love of God. Even though accepting my own guilt seemed like death to me, it was the very thing that led me to trusting and resting in God's grace.

A Voice In The Violence

This song carries a lot of weight and emotion in it for us as a band. It's so easy to identify with feeling the burden of darkness in our hearts and minds as we wrestle with the sins and addictions that plague us. The lyrics carry a dialogue that goes back and forth between thoughts of falling into despair and then hearing the voice of truth calling me away from running headlong into the things that are killing and destroying me. We so often entertain this love affair with the sins, addictions, and vices that ruin us whether it be mentally, physically, or spiritually. These pursuits are always irrational and cause us to drown out the voice of God. The voice of truth. A voice that carries messages of hope, grace, and mercy. Yet the beauty in all of this comes in the fact that there is no hell too deep for God to pull us out of. It is in these darkest of times that God shows even more grace and love.

Drifter

Songs like this one are so important to us as a band because they've come from real heart-to-heart conversations. We're brothers. We bear each other's burdens. A lot of the time when you just bury away the pain, the hurt, the lies, the emotion, it tears you apart on the inside until it eventually begins to manifest on the outside. As an outsider looking in, I could see how Nick was being torn apart and was stuck spirally down the same road. Numerous songs throughout our career have come from these sorts of situations where Nick just spilled his heart and we were able to build him up in the truth reminding him of the greater love he has in Christ and how all his failure and sin was erased at the cross.

Enemy

We tend to think that the great enemies in our lives are “out there” while ignoring a certain truth that we ourselves tend to be our greatest enemies. The song begins with an arrogant and misguided fight against the "enemy" that is soon realized to be myself. This has been a humbling experience that I have been through many times in my life. I figured it was about time that I cataloged how this progression tends to go for myself and ultimately how my hope of escape from this is in the power of God.

Evil Are The Kings

This was the first song that came out when I started writing for this record and helped set the tone for quality and level I wanted all the other songs to be on. Our guitarist Joey played a big role in helping this song come together in the way that it did. He helped me restructure it in a way that really took advantage of the strengths of the song. In writing this song, I immediately knew what I wanted it to be about. As a society, we have amassed a world of knowledge, but it hasn't moved mankind one step further to making peace, stopping wars, curing racism, etc. If “knowledge is the power” then we are to be considered evil kings. Politics haven't moved the needle of solving any of these issues and all that has been revealed is that while there may be shifts in power and policy the greatest need we all have is for our hearts to be changed.

Eclipse

The music of this song was something I had written a long time ago but was never able to put all the pieces together. While on tour last year I was finally able to get all the pieces to fall together. Our drummer Abishai was critical in helping me structure the format of the song in its early stages. When I sat down to title all of these songs, I realized that an eclipse was the imagery that best encompassed the heart of this song. As I continued to think about this imagery and concept, I realized how it touched all of these songs in one way or another. Songs like this are very personal for me as I use them as outlets to be vulnerable with myself and with our fans for them to be encouraged by the fact that I often have the same doubts and fears that they may have. Yet while also having these same doubts and fears, there are still certain truths that we all can rest upon for peace and comfort.

Response

This song is a response to the Ghandi quote, "I like your Christ, not your Christians." The truth of this statement is not lost on me and to be honest, it grieves me. I can understand why people's view of “American Christianity” puts a bad taste in their mouth and am sadden by the fact that the name of Christ gets dragged through the mud and applied to people and organizations that do not represent what true faith is. When people hear that we are a Christian band, it immediately conjures up all sorts of thoughts, generally negative ones, yet I can understand why. I can see how it is really difficult for some people to separate emotional pain and damage caused by some wearing the name “Christian” from the one they claim to follow, namely Jesus. I say that in the lyrics of the song, “You find a lot of fault in me - I find it hard to disagree with you - I’ll own my crimes - My guilt has shut my mouth.” I'm not here to talk about myself, there isn't much good to say. But I believe in a good Savior. This strikes at the very heart of what we want people to see in our lyrics. Christianity is not about a person's ability to be perfect, but imperfect people trusting in a perfect Savior. Our guitarist Joey summarized the song well by saying, “The presence of hypocrisy does not equal the absence of God.” This song is a call to take your eyes off of messed up people and to take a look for yourself at who Jesus is.

History

I wrote “History” in light of all of the racial tension I see within our culture. I have dear friends that have been on the receiving end of this prejudice [and] it's sad that even after all this time and all we know this still is very present in the heart of our society. It is because we have tended to turn a blind eye to our past that we are ignorant [of] the present issues. Our culture does not have a healthy relationship with this issue and therefore it causes serious strife and conflict. Everyone is fighting for their side of the argument and in that fight there will only be victims. It's a wake-up call that identifying with political parties, the color of your skin, etc. puts you further into bondage and perpetuates this cycle of hatred and violence.

The Sea In Between

This song is an imagery of my salvation. I knew God existed and I knew I was separated from Him. I was on a shore and an endless sea separated us. The sea was a metaphor for my sin and my attempts to live self-righteously. I tried to live a perfect life and make up for all my failure and sin. Every time I navigated those seas, I failed, was destroyed, and was washed back to shore left with nothing. Yet in the goodness of God, Christ came and saved me, trudging through the sea that separated me from Him by dying the death I deserved.

Alone

I remember writing this song really late one night in my studio and how it all came together so quickly. Sometimes a song just seems to fall into place all in one sitting and that was the case for this song. Every piece of it came together that night including the vocals, but to no surprise, I struggled to figure out what to write about. It wasn't until many months after that I was thinking about the idea of how differently we all view this journey of life. For some, it is a terror. For some, joy. And I thought about the fact that however you view the destination of the journey affects how you experience it. If all you have to look forward to [is the] temporal aspects of life, then that can be incredibly bleak for many. And to others it may not seem like that big a deal but nothing we have here can be kept forever. If I can quote one of our older songs called “Morning Star”: I know this is a voyage, it's not my destination. My hope is not in what I can gain out of this life regarding physical things, but that in the fact that all good things I enjoy here are just a shadow of the joy it will be to know God and see Him face to face.

Counterfeit

There are a lot of voices out there vying for our attention. Voices that don't have our best interests in mind. Voices in the media, politics, and sometimes even our own minds that push an agenda based upon lies. This track was written as a sort of fight song against those things to give a voice back to those that desire to push back against those lies. I love how the pace and rhythm of this song perfectly fits the content. Hopefully this song can help give the listener a voice and words to say [and] combat these lies.

Blessings & Curses

It was actually our drummer Abishai who created the core of this song. He wrote a drum groove that he was really into and so he put a simple chord progression down to go with it. He showed it to me while we were on tour and it just clicked with me. As soon as I heard it I knew it needed to be one of our songs and we started working on it right then and there on tour. It has a crazy time signature and then at the end the time signature bounces back and forth, but you'd never know it, which is really cool. This is a song about betrayal, namely my betrayal. It puts me in awe of the fact that all I ever offered God was my betrayal and my curse and yet in return He gives me the blessing of His forgiveness and love.

[lulew1988]

Chronic & Blessed Guest Posts on The Thyroid Damsel!

Guest post from Chronic & Blessed!

  Today Ricki from Chronic and blessed does a guest post on The Thyroid Damsel. I am so excited and honored that she has done this for me!

  If you would like to guest post on this blog, please fill in the form added at the bottom of the article.

  Ricki is like me and suffers from Autoimmune thyroid disease. I have Graves and she suffers from Hashimoto's.

So enough from me, and over to Ricki.

About the Author

Hello, my name is Ricki, blogger at Chronic and Blessed, coming to you from across the pond in the US (so please forgive my strange American spelling)! I’m so excited to be contributing and giving a guest post to The Thyroid Damsel!

I too suffer from a thyroid condition, specifically Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 2010, but only officially with an autoimmune disease last summer. However, I’ve probably been dealing with its effects for the last 13 years or so. I started out on the usual synthetic thyroid hormone, but my symptoms worsened to a debilitating point as a result of stress and unaddressed gut issues.

Eventually, I had to quit my job because I felt so sick and exhausted. I rarely saw friends or participated in anything I enjoyed. This disease took a toll on my loved ones and me so I set out to learn everything I could to try to get my life back. When I discovered the food connection I finally began to heal, along with help from supplements and alternative treatments under the supervision of an integrative physician. I still have a long way to go to recover my health. But I’m happy to say I’m feeling much better these days, which gives me hope!

One day it occurred to me that there are countless others out there in the world that suffer from all sorts of chronic illnesses. I myself had come to a place of acceptance, peace, and hope in my life, but it was a struggle to get there. I wanted to help encourage others on the journey, and that’s how Chronic and Blessed was born. My aim is to help others discover and embrace the blessings that can be found in the midst of life with a chronic illness. And that’s what I want to do here as well in this guest post on The Thyroid Damsel since Lucy’s posts are always so encouraging!

Support Systems in Chronic Illness

Something that has been on my mind lately about life with a chronic illness is how important support systems are for us. Living with pain, limitations, disabilities, and challenges is difficult. But with the support of others, we are better able to handle these as well as our daily responsibilities. In my case, I owe a lot to my husband, family, friends, and even my little dog for always being there, even when I’m at my worst.

Maybe you don’t have a support system right now because you’re afraid people won’t understand you. Maybe you don’t want to be a burden, or you’re afraid of being judged. The bad news is that some people aren’t safe, and shouldn’t be relied upon to help you. But the great news is that there are people out there who will understand, and who are willing to be there to lean on. Choosing a support system requires a little patience and a lot of wisdom, but it’s well worth it.

How to Identify Safe People

The most important step in building a support system is knowing how to identify safe people who are committed to being there for you. Not everyone in your support system can meet all of these qualities, nor will they be perfect (we’re not perfect either, right?). But I believe the most supportive people will have many of the following traits:

Patience, Understanding, and Flexibility

These people will not feel the need to pressure you to take whatever action they believe necessary for you to “get better.” They’ll seek to learn all they can about your struggle in order to understand the way you think and your actions. They will suspend judgments, knowing that your struggle is incredibly difficult. These people won’t get mad when you cancel plans (even multiple times in a row, as we sometimes have to do). They’ll work within your limitations to be in your life. They won’t push you or guilt you into things you can’t handle.

Good Listeners

Safe people will be skilled listeners. Look for people who give eye contact, respond to what you’re saying, and even repeat what you’re telling them in order to understand. These people will allow you to vent without feeling the need to offer advice. They will know how to simply be there for you.

Open-Minded

Open-minded people won’t judge you for taking medications, for invisible symptoms you can’t prove, or for diet changes you make. This is a big one for me since I’m always tweaking my diet, which could be a huge turn-off to my friends and family.

My friends struggling with mental illness can attest to this as well. They have often been judged for taking medication to manage their anxiety or depression. But for many of them, they need medication in order to function. A safe person will understand this.

Positive and Hopeful

You also need positive and hopeful people in your support system. I’m not talking about the exasperating type that wants to make everything seem rosy. Rather, I’m speaking about people who live within the understanding that suffering isn’t the end of the world. They will know that we all can handle a lot more than we think. Also, they will be people who can see the good that can come of terrible situations; lessons learned, character building, relationships strengthened.

These people need to be in our lives to help pull us out of our despair when we’re unable to do so for ourselves. Of course, they need to be people with the wisdom to distinguish between these times and times when we need to simply be heard.

Fellow Sufferers

You may think that you need people who have life altogether to lean on. But often the best support comes from people who have suffered and are even suffering now.

There may be people in your life who’ve lived with a chronic illness, physical or mental, or who have experienced extended periods of loss. They know what it feels like to grieve, to have their plans changed, and to experience pain. But in order to get the full support from these relationships, you must be willing to offer support and understanding to them as well.

How Will Safe People Make You Feel?

Aside from looking for the above characteristics, I think it’s important how supportive people make you feel. This is another indication of whether or not a person is safe.

Do they make you feel comfortable being yourself? Safe people will be people you don’t feel the need to impress or entertain. You should feel comfortable with who you are, flaws and all.

Do they make you feel energised? Safe people should not drain the life out of you. They should make you feel more energised by the time they leave or hang up the phone. If you find a person exhausting, they should not be in your support system. You may also consider whether or not the relationship is codependent. These relationships can be a detriment to health and should be addressed with a licensed counsellor.

Do they make you feel loved? Last, but most important, safe people will make you feel loved. They will make you feel heard, supported, understood, and appreciated. You will feel that they truly care about you. Not because they feel obligated, but because they love you. We all need people in our lives that make us feel loved!

A Well Rounded Support System 

Another aspect of a healthy support system for living with chronic illness is to find support from a variety of relationships. No one person can give us all the love and care we need (not even your spouse!), so we have to cast a wider net. I’ve found there are generally five relationship sources of support available to us.

The best way to get the encouragement and love you need to thrive in the midst of chronic illness is to develop relationships with as many people as possible.

Spouse

If you aren’t married or in a serious relationship, this obviously won’t apply. But if you are, your spouse can be the most immediate source of support in your life.

Most of us live with spouses that don’t suffer from illnesses themselves, so they have a lot of learning to do in order to understand us. But as long as they have a good attitude and the attributes I’ve already listed, they could become a great help to you.

Your responsibility is to calmly explain your struggle and what you would like from your spouse. Spell it out! Never expect them to simply know. However, don't assume your spouse is able or willing to support you in this way. Unfortunately, some are not, but luckily there are other relationships that can be supportive.

Family

If you have safe people in your family, whether parents or third cousins, they should be a part of your support system. Just be sure your relationships are healthy and helpful. Again, communication is key when it comes to family because they've known you so long. They may be relating to you based on assumptions, so be clear about your needs.

 Friends

Friends can be some of the best relationships to be part of your support system. You get to choose these people, and choose when to see them! Not all your friends will be safe enough to support you, but try to find one or two people who really listen and care for you.

Good friends should be encouraging and understanding, and this should be mutual. My two closest friends both struggle with mental health, and because of that, they are some of the most understanding and supportive people in my life. And I also have the opportunity to help them from my experience as well. Having even one close supportive friend can make all the difference in a really difficult time.

Support Groups

The best people to understand what you’re going through are those who have experienced it themselves. That’s why support groups can be so helpful. Whether through a church, a chronic illness group, or even a Facebook group, others who struggle as you do can help you through what they have already gone through. They can listen well, empathise, and offer advice when you want it.

Chronic illness can be very isolating, but support groups provide a like-minded community. One word of caution for any online groups: when people aren’t interacting face-to-face they feel more comfortable saying whatever they want.

Just because people are in the group because of their experience with illness doesn’t mean they will be safe people. Always exercise caution when sharing in online forums. Make sure you’re aware of the risk of receiving unkind words and unwarranted advice.

Pets

It may seem strange to include pets when talking about support systems, but I truly believe they can be incredibly helpful. Since I adopted a rescue puppy last summer I have experienced so much more joy and much less isolation. My dog snuggles with me, gets me out of the house for walks, and even helps me meet people in my neighborhood. My time at home is much less lonely than it would have been before.

I have heard very similar things from other chronic illness sufferers, so I truly believe pets can be a part of our support system. For some of us, therapy pets can be a crucial part of our ability to function. For others of us, it can be therapeutic to have something to nurture. Just make sure that if you're thinking of getting a pet that you are prepared and educated in how to care for it. Be sure you are physically able to do so. Also, I hope you'll rescue!

Build Your Support System

Other people have hurt many of us in the past. Maybe they didn’t believe us when we told them about our pain, or maybe they ridiculed us about our special diet or tried to give us health advice. Maybe they abandoned us because they felt a relationship with us was too difficult.

These experiences are hurtful, but they shouldn’t hold us back from building a support system of relationships that are healthy and safe.

We need others to help carry our heavy burdens, and thankfully there are great people out there who are willing to do so!.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

With a little understanding about what safe people are like and the types of relationships, we can rely on. We can build a support system that will help us when we are greatly in need. We need others in our lives, no matter how self-sufficient or independent we believe ourselves to be.

If you are lacking relationships that build you up in your life with chronic illness, I encourage you to seek them out with wisdom!. Your health and well being will benefit greatly. You may even find that you grow to become a strong support for others as well.

If you do have some wonderful people in your life that care for you, remember to thank them! It can be challenging to be there for someone who is chronically ill. Make sure you let them know how much you appreciate all they do for you. They will be happy to hear it!

For more encouragement and practical help in your life with chronic illness, I hope you’ll check out ChronicandBlessed.com and follow me on social media! Be part of the community so we can help one another.

Thank you and love from Ricki!

    You can follow Ricki @ Chronic & Blessed on her social channels below!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chronicandblessed/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/chronicblessed

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chronicandblessed/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/chronicblessed/

If you would like to guest post on The Thyroid Damsel like Ricki has, please fill in the form below.

Guest Blog Application Form

[danipaxte]

Repenting

Fandom: Satan and Me

Ship: Graph

Word Count: 2700

Rating/Content: PG

Summary: Raphael find comfort in his friend, Gabriel

A/N: my Secret Santa gift for @meandsatan >:)

This is how it started.

Raphael had seen enough angels fall to know the signs. They were hard to miss with his eyes. Their technicolor hues, muted. Blackness darkening his brothers and sisters with despair, with doubt, with regret. By the time they realized, it was already too late. The palette of their souls, muddied with intrusive ink.

Praying always came first, and Raphael had been doing a lot of that lately. Repenting, begging for forgiveness, begging for his Father to take away the poison he could sense was swelling inside of him, making him question, waver, making him hurt. Father, why did it hurt so much? He'd experienced nearly dying and still, his chest ached with something far more terrible. Something empty. Father was suppose to have filled them with love, but Raphael couldn’t remember the last time he had felt anything more than empty.

He blamed it on Uriel, cruelly revoking his friendship like a punishment, and Zadkiel’s bloody knives stealing away his body. Maybe this had all started long before the end of days though. He just assumed that Lucifer’s defection had left everyone with this particular chill in their bones, but perhaps it had just been him. Perhaps he’d been tainted all along.

He couldn't know for sure; of all the souls, his own was the only one he couldn't see.

He remembered after the battle, publicly mourning for the fallen, while privately thanking Father that it had not been him to lose himself. How selfish he was, even before. He put on a quiet, humble face but he struggled with the same sins that stole away the others. He could hide it from them and maybe even from himself but not from Father.

Had his number finally been drawn? Was this a punishment? It certainly felt like one. A purgatory before his destination was decided. And if he kept handling it like this, he wouldn't be staying in heaven.

He was in the chapel again, staring at a stained glass window that he imagined had overseen the lowest moments of all the souls he knew, and yet Raphael still felt as though his pain had to easily have been the worst it had looked upon. He’d held his dying brothers and sisters, their blood soaking his robes, watched the magic of their existence fade out of their eyes, but nothing could possibly be worse than his rejection.

After all he had done for Uriel… Going to Lucifer hadn’t been about protecting the red-headed human girl. It had been about protecting Uriel. He had just wanted Uriel to be safe, and he was willing to betray his orders, betray Heaven’s Army, to do so.

And this was how he was left. Lonely. Loveless. Broken hearted. He cursed himself for being weak, for being feeble, he begged Father to take away all the pain. This hurt that was meant to humble, he wasn’t strong enough for it. It would break him.

Raphael would have stayed there praying all night, his fingers folded together so tightly they ached, if he hadn’t been interrupted by another. The creak of a door broke him from his silent begging, and Raphael swiped at his damp eyes before turning to meet the soul who’d entered.

Gabriel froze when he realized the chapel was not empty, half way through the door and stilled like a startled animal. It took him a moment to unparalyze himself and struggle out a few words. “Raphael. I’m… sorry to interrupt I didn’t know you were here.” His voice sounded weak, like he hadn’t used it in ages, and Raphael remembered that he wasn’t the only angel who was currently being punished for fraternization.

“It’s fine. I was just finishing.” Raphael rose from his knees, biting back the sourness in his joints from sitting still in front of that glass window for far too long. “Looking for some time alone with Father.”

Gabriel’s face softened slight, but a particular tiredness lingered in his eyes. “Me as well. I’ve been feeling…” He paused, the thought hanging on his tongue. What had he been feeling? Confused? Regretful? Unsure? Raphael tried to guess how that sentence was meant to end but perhaps his guesses were simply projections.

Realizing that his words had slipped from his mouth too quickly, Gabriel edited the thought as he continued, “I’m in need of some guidance, is all.”

Raphael nodded, feeling the tension in the air and attempting a joke to cut it. “I can see that.”

“Is it so obvious?” Gabriel’s shoulders fell slightly, along with the smile he’d be trying to fake.

Raphael cringed, backpedaled a little. “I just mean, you’re a little less colorful than usual.”

When Gabriel caught on, he flushed with embarrassment at his own aloofness. “Oh. Of course.” Giving a little scoff, he sighed and added, “If your sight is good for one thing, it’s confirming what someone already knows.”

Raphael had never heard Gabriel being sarcastic before. It was surprisingly charming. He found the corner of his lips trying to tilt up. “If only you could offer the same consolation.”

A silence hung between them and in it, the mood dropped again unintentionally, Gabriel responding by put his eyes down, bowing his head in an apology. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any offense.”

“None taken,” Raphael replied, shaking his head. Even so, the comfortable moment they’d been having left as quickly as it came, tumbling towards awkward quickly. Raphael opted to escape before it got uncomfortable, moving for the door. “I hope Father gives you more guidance than he’s offered me lately. Maybe you can ask him to speak up the next time I come by?”

Even with the joke, Gabriel had to force a smile as he nodded, covering a ghost of disappointment sweeping across his face by stepping forward to the stained glass to take Raphael’s previous spot. Raphael lingered a moment at the door to watch him kneel down, the floor likely still warm from where he himself had sat for hours, waiting for a response. Getting nothing.

In fact, these few seconds of communication was the most relief he’d felt in days, and suddenly Raphael too found himself left with disappointment. Perhaps it was awkward, but it had been better than the silence. He’d been so alone lately, Raphael wasn’t sure he could stand it anymore.

“Gabriel?”

His brother turned back to look at him again, a question in his tired gazes.

“I understand if you’d prefer to be alone but, if you wanted, perhaps we could speak instead?” Raphael paused, shifting his gaze to the floor. “If I could be completely honest, I’m getting a little tired of the one-sided conversations.”

Relief brightened Gabriel’s expression. “Me too. Michael hasn’t spoken to me since… anyway. I never thought I’d say I miss the sound of his voice… I’m beginning to grow irritated hearing only my own in my head all night and day.”

A smile twitched at Raphael’s lips when Gabriel chuckled a little at himself. He’d never realized before that Gabriel had a knack for Raphael’s same dry sense of humor. Perhaps that was because Michael always took it upon himself to fill the room with his voice when he was around.

Raphael crossed the room again and took a spot next to Gabriel, only to find the silence growing thick again between them the moment he settled. He tried to find some words, but they were stuck in his throat.

Gabriel offered encouragement once it was clear his brother needed it. “Was there something in particular you wanted to speak about, Raphael?”

“I’m not sure.” Raphael gave an awkward breathy laugh, but his fingers fisted at his thighs. He hadn’t realized how hard it would be to say his flaws aloud. Shame burned hot across his neck and up to his ears, but he managed to mutter out his admission. “I made a mistake, and I think I am receiving my punishment right now, and I worry I am not strong enough to survive it.”

Gabriel’s lips made a straight line, his forehead frowning slightly as he shook his head. “Don’t be foolish. Of course you are. We all have battles with ourselves that we must persevere through. But if we put Father and our brothers and sisters first, the struggle will subside. I promise you.”

Something about his words sounded rehearsed. Like maybe it was a comforting mantra he’d been repeating to himself for a while as well. Raphael was unfortunately not so easily swayed with the encouragement.

Fighting off a bout of emotion that threatened to close his throat, he managed a further explanation. “Uriel will not speak with me. I fear our relationship is over.”

Gabriel hummed, empathy in the tone of it. “I’m sorry. You were close.”

“He was my only friend.” Somehow Raphael managed his response without his voice cracking with the pain of it. Even so, Gabriel responded like Raphael had fallen apart. He turned suddenly, reaching out and wrapping a hand around one of Raphael’s fists.

“That’s not true!” he protested with fervor, only to flush and pull his hand away again quickly when he realized that Raphael had not expected the physical contact. Awkwardly, he added after clearing his voice. “I just mean, I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

Raphael frowned, his chest biting with guilt, the shame on his face burning hotter. “Of course but, it’s not the same… ” Pausing, he struggled for words to explain himself, but when he finally spoke again he managed little more than a vague excuse. “It was... different with Uriel.”

Gabriel hummed again, red lingering on his cheeks as he offered help to finish Raphael’s thought. “Perhaps it was different because you thought of him as something more than a friend?”

Raphael found himself taken aback for a moment, wondering for a second what in heaven Gabriel knew about feelings beyond friendship. He had forgotten entirely though, about another experience that Gabriel and he shared. Heartbreak.

Perhaps Gabriel understood more thoroughly than anyone else could, what Raphael was struggling with.

Before he could stop himself, Raphael was prodding, too curious for his own good. “What was it like when Anthea…” He stopped, realizing his ineptness too late. Gabriel’s encouraging expression shifted to something wounded at the sound of her name. Raphael hung his head as he rushed to apologize. “I’m sorry! That was... inappropriate. I shouldn’t have even thought of asking.”

“It’s ok.” Gabriel dismissed his apology, forcing away the pain on his face with a strained smile. He inhaled a shaky breath before offering an answer. “I never felt for anyone like I did for Anthea. I don’t know how else to explain it. She was special to me, more than anyone else. Maybe that’s why Father took her away. It’s not right, to give so much of your soul away to another, but I was… selfish.” He laughed a little, but the sound of it was self deprecating. The wound was still not quite healed, that much was obvious in his eyes as they glossed over.

The cruel joke was, Raphael didn’t see where the selfishness in that was. How was it selfish, to devote yourself to someone else? Wasn’t that the most selfless thing one could do? Wasn’t that what he wanted to do for Uriel? Devote himself. And Uriel refused him.

Despite obviously struggling with his words, Gabriel managed a last secret though the thick air between them. He spoke on an exhale, unable to speak the words any louder. “When she fell I… I almost followed her.”

“Gabriel…” Raphael protested weakly.

“I’ve never said that out loud…” He forced a smile in reply, trying to shake off the negativity, something heavy escaping his lungs before continuing. “I chose to stay with my brothers and sisters though. They needed me. Heaven needed me. I comforted myself with the fantasy that Father would bring us back to each other eventually but...” He stopped to avoid the pain trying to creep back into him.

Something ached in Raphael’s chest, but it wasn’t what he should feel. He should empathize with Gabriel, and he did, but unfortunately he also couldn’t help but selfishly imagine the pain of losing Uriel permanently, like Gabriel had with Anthea. “I’m sorry, Gabriel.” He apologized not only for what Gabriel had to go through, but for also still only thinking about himself and his own misfortune. He apologized for being unable to let his curiosity go as he prodded further. “Do you… do you regret staying? If you had known what would happen would you have-.”

Gabriel interrupted with a sharp frown and a shake of his head. “There isn’t sense in having regrets. Everything happens for a reason.” While his answer was soft, Gabriel’s gaze hardened to glass with his words, like it was another one of his mantras, repeated to numb himself.

Raphael took note that in that answer, Gabriel did not say no.

Gabriel had shared something dark, so maybe that meant that Raphael was obligated now too. Or perhaps that was just an excuse, because Raphael knew that if he didn’t say it, the fleeting darkness in his head might fester further into something more dangerous. “If I tell you something, does it stay between you, me, and Father?”

Turning to look at Raphael again, Gabriel allowed himself to reach out, like before. Only this time, he kept his hand on Raphael’s, and Raphael found himself grounded by the touch. “Of course. Like I said, I’m your friend.” Seeing that Raphael was reluctant to continuing, he added another bit of self deprecating humor to try and lighten the air. “And I’m hardly one to judge.”

Raphael managed a breathy laugh before his expression went hard again. He swallowed down his apprehension, staring at Gabriel’s hand on his. His skin was so warm, like he had somehow managed to stay filled to the brim with Father’s love despite everything. Raphael had felt so cold and empty lately...

“Sometimes I think about falling, if only to see if Uriel would care.”

Gabriel’s warm fingers tightened around Raphael’s. “That’s a dangerous thought.” The way he said his response was not judgemental or scolding though. It was understanding. It was a careful warning. Assumingly because, as he had just admitted, he had been in that place before also.

Raphael nodded, continuing to stare down at their hands as his vision blurred slightly, trying to fight the stinging emotion in his nose and eyes. “It’s ok. I’m not so foolish. I know he wouldn’t care. He’d have me eliminated before I had time to drag myself out of the crater I’d make hitting the ground.”

“That’s not true...” Gabriel shifted closer, concern suddenly coloring his voice, fingers shifting, smoothly lacing together with Raphael’s. Raphael had never been comforted like this before. He had always seeked comfort from Father, who was of course, far more distant and abstract than the very solid, very warm body next to him. It made him feel not as hollow. It made him want to stay there, just like that, Gabriel’s hand in his.

Despite himself, he continued to admit his dark, shameful thoughts, unconsciously leaning closer so he could lower his voice, or perhaps simply to feel Gabriel’s shoulder pressed against his. “Still, I wonder sometimes if I wouldn’t be better off. If I fell-.”

Gabriel interrupted, but not with words. Instead, he had pushed up on his knees, and bridge the little space left between them, stopping Raphael’s words with his lips.

Raphael had never been shown affection like this. It was so warm and intoxicating. Gabriel’s lips tasted like fresh, golden honey. If their hands had not been tangled together, Raphael would have reached out to pull them closer together.

When Gabriel eased away to speak to his lips, Raphael couldn’t even open his eyes fully, left to only inhale shape to catch the breath the other angel had stolen from him.

His words were warm too, filling up Raphael’s empty spaces with whispers. “Please, Raphael. If you fell, I’m not sure I’d be able to keep myself from following a second time. Stay here, with me. Please.”

Raphael agreed with a breathy, “of course,” before leaning in for another taste of honey.

[talabib]

Learn How To Rise Strong

Perhaps you’ve suffered some major setbacks. You lost your job, maybe, or found out that your partner is having an affair. Or maybe you’ve steered clear of the big shocks, instead enduring a lot of minor irritants, like having your bike stolen or going mind-blank in the middle of a presentation.

Even if you’re not having hard times, you probably know the feeling of stumbling because of some unforeseeable obstacle or some mistake you made. Some people call it “falling,” others call it “failing,” but either way it’s essential to human experience. In fact, in this post you’ll find out why being brave always entails the risk of failing. But rather than just shying away from anything that demands courage, you’ll discover that you can actually learn to rise strong.

Rising strong starts with accepting risk and being willing to fail

Time and time again, we find ourselves in situations that require us to take risks in order to learn. Whether it means appearing unprofessional when plunging into a new leadership position at work, or being uncoordinated in front of our exercise class, learning by doing often leaves us feeling quite vulnerable.

Risking vulnerability in this way and failing can be tough. We may feel ashamed, discouraged or even decide never to leave our comfort zones ever again. But keep in mind: the best place to learn is outside the comfort zone! So it’s vital that you’re able to recover from failure. How? By rising strong.

Rising strong is a multi-step process that can help you risk vulnerability and emerge with confidence. Rather than presenting a strict formula to be undeviatingly followed, this post explore the basic principles of rising strong, which you can adapt to your own life. Before diving in, though, there are three things that ought to be kept in mind:

Firstly, you’ve got to commit to failure in order to rise strong. This means accepting that you are likely to fail (multiple times!) but bravely agreeing to give your all nevertheless. Secondly, remember that you aren’t the only one experiencing failure. While we can’t ask other people to make our mistakes for us, we can ask our peers for advice about the learning process itself.

And finally, know that rising strong won’t just change your life. Your experiences of recovery after failure can actually have a profound impact on those around you, whether you’re aware of it or not. In this way, rising strong is incredibly powerful.

The process of rising strong is divided into three steps: the reckoning, the rumble and the revolution

So how does one actually go about rising strong? Well, it works differently for everyone. To get you started, this post presents a rough map of the three core steps of the rising-strong process, based on the experiences of people who have found ingenious ways to navigate dangerous waters.

The first step of the process is the reckoning. What does this entail? Well, people who rise strong are willing and able to reckon with their emotions. When something happens that triggers an emotional change in them, they take care to recognize and acknowledge this shift. Then, they take an interest in why it happens, and exhibit a boundless curiosity toward the unique connections between their emotions, thoughts and actions.

The rumble is the second step in rising strong. Rumbling is all about keeping a critical eye on your own understanding of your struggles and weaknesses. What stories do you tell yourself about times when you have suffered? If you revisit, challenge and reality-check these narratives, and are willing to dig deep into topics such as shame, guilt, heartbreak or forgiveness in order to learn more about yourself, then you are doing a fine job of rumbling.

The third step of rising strong is the revolution. This occurs when you take the insights gained from rumbling with your stories and channel them into positive changes in your life. Unlike evolutionary change, which happens little by little, rumbling can create a sweeping, radical shift in the way you live, love, lead, parent and participate in society.

Sounds like something you’d like to experience yourself? Let’s explore each of these steps in detail and see how we can integrate rising strong into our own lives.

Reckon with your emotions by both acknowledging and investigating them

Know those people who seem to just roll with the punches? The ability of certain individuals to simply dust themselves off and keep on fighting despite the odds is a bit mystifying. But if we take a closer look, a pattern begins to emerge. These people all share one central trait: the ability to reckon with their emotions. You can learn to do so, too, by taking two steps.

The first is recognizing your emotions, a task that’s often more challenging than we realize. Why? Because we’ve trained ourselves to refuse the existence of our own feelings. When a sense of disappointment or anger washes over you, you might find yourself trying to bury the emotion with rational thoughts or distractions.

But this is futile, as we can’t just dismiss our negative emotions. If we try to do that, they accumulate and fester within us, often leading to explosive breakdowns later on. So how can we avoid this? By giving ourselves permission to feel. Literally! Jane once wrote herself a physical permission slip saying: “Permission to be excited, have fun, be goofy.”

Once you’ve recognized and accepted something you might be feeling, it’s time to get curious about it. This makes up the second step of reckoning with your emotions, where you investigate what’s going on inside you, and why.

It starts with asking yourself simple questions. For example: “Why am I being so harsh about everybody around me today? What’s bothering me?” Research has shown that curiosity goes hand-in-hand with creative problem-solving. So if you want to uncover clever solutions for your problems, start inquiring!

Question the stories you tell about your struggles to truly learn about yourself

If you’re like most people, you’re constantly making up stories to make sense of the world and your place within it. Narratives like this allow us to experience a sense of purpose, belonging and identity. However, we can start to feel trapped by the stories we tell about ourselves, too.

The goal of rumbling, the second step of rising strong, helps us keep these stories in check. By scrutinizing our narratives and being honest with ourselves, we can learn far more about the way we are in the world.

Normally, when we feel pain, anger or frustration, we desperately need to make sense of what’s happening. The easiest way to do this is to tell ourselves a story that links the struggle we’re experiencing in the present to all the unhappiness we’ve lived through in the past.

Things may start to make sense, but we’re also left with a narrative that tells us we’ve been suffering our whole life, and that this suffering will continue. When rumbling, you attempt to shake up this narrative; you sniff out the conspiracies and confabulations you’ve constructed around your struggles.

The most effective way to do this is by writing out your stories into a shitty first draft. This is a rough, uncensored and emotionally-driven account of the way you see your struggle. These first drafts are easy to write, and can even take the form of a fill-in-the-blank style list. For example: The story I’m making up is: …; My emotions tell me: …; My body feels: …; My thinking seems: …; My actions are: …

Such exercises give us some distance from our stories. A story on paper is easier to reflect upon and look at from a different perspective. Soon enough, the conspiracies and traps we’ve set for ourselves will become clear. These traps are precisely what make us feel stuck in life, so the more aware you are of their presence, the less likely you are to fall into them.

Gain valuable insights for yourself after rumbling with boundaries, integrity and generosity

What does rising strong look like in action? Brene brown illustrates her own rising-strong experience with a brief but telling story.

After agreeing to speak at a conference, she was informed by the organizers that she would have to share a hotel room with another speaker. she didn’t feel comfortable with this, but it was made clear that demanding her own room would be out of line. So, wanting to make a good impression, she agreed to the shared room.

Her roommate turned out to be a complete disaster. She stained the hotel’s couch with her dirty boots, and ignored the no-smoking rule in the hotel, getting them both in trouble. Brene was shocked – and felt as if she were being punished for agreeing to the organizer’s demands.

After presenting her speech and preparing to catch her flight home, she began to reckon with her emotions. Noticing her own judgmental and hateful thoughts about practically everyone she saw at the airport, she wondered why she was feeling so negative.

She began to rumble with her emotions by writing down a shitty first draft that recorded her story of the events at the conference. It wasn’t long, but all the key feelings were there: “I was easy and flexible (against my will), and instead of being appreciative, the event organizers took advantage of me.” “I was good. They were bad. It wasn’t fair and I didn’t deserve it.”

After rumbling, Brene had a few realizations. What she discovered about herself was simple but revolutionary: to avoid pointless and frustrating resentment, she would have to maintain her boundaries. Instead of blaming people and despairing about the unfairness of the world, she decided that, from now on, she was the one responsible for her own well-being, even when under pressure from others.

Rumbling with expectations can help us avoid disappointment and begin forgiving

When was the last time you thought something like: “I knew this would happen!” or “Was that too much to ask?” You were probably experiencing some sort of disappointment, a feeling that we encounter quite often in both our professional and our personal lives.

Whether about a family vacation or a presentation at work, our expectations often come into existence without our even realizing it. And while having expectations is often energizing and exciting, it’s also the source of all that disappointment. When reality doesn’t match our expectations, we often get resentful or unpleasant. But it needn’t be this way!

Rumbling can help us deal with disappointment by nipping unhealthy expectations in the bud. What do you expect of your co-workers or your spouse? What do you expect of yourself? And why do you expect those things? All too often, our expectations fly under the radar. It isn’t until we feel disappointed that we realize what these expectations were. The challenge is to make our expectations explicit.

So explore them, and discuss them with the people you expect things from. Jane and her partner always discuss their expectations for weekends, vacations and busy work weeks, just to keep things realistic.

Expectations also play a central role when it comes to rumbling with forgiveness. Family and partnership are great sources of love – but they can be sources of hurt, too. It’s inevitable that we all have to rumble with forgiveness at certain stages in life.

Forgiveness, however, is more than just forgetting a hurtful act. Sometimes, it’s about letting certain expectations die. Perhaps it’s time for you to stop expecting your parents to be people who never make mistakes, and instead recognize them as individuals with their own struggles and weaknesses. Or maybe you need to say goodbye to your dream of a perfect, argument-free marriage. This is what allows us to let go of conflict and move forward with our relationships.

Rumbling with accountability and trust can make your team stronger than ever

The story of a man named Andrew provides a great example of how rumbling with accountability can restore professional relationships, even when the going gets tough.

Andrew was a senior leader at a small but successful advertising agency, and had earned himself the title of resident strategy expert at his workplace. One of his colleagues even went so far as to say: “Andrew is the reason it all works. His word is gold and everyone trusts him.”

On one occasion, however, Andrew made a huge mistake. His team, at his instruction, had worked very hard on a project, and the project failed. His co-workers were angry; their trust was shaken. Andrew had known that the project was a big risk and hadn’t communicated that knowledge to his team. Things were very tense. So how did Andrew rise strong? By rumbling with accountability and trust.

As the team leader, Andrew was accountable for the project’s outcome. To deal with this failure, he needed to rumble with accountability.

Accountability is integral for any strong relationship or work culture. It requires individuals to apologize and make amends, and that takes a lot of courage. Andrew proved that he had this courage when he stood in front of his team and said, “I screwed up, and I’m sorry.”

Andrew also had to rumble with trust. Despite what we might think, trust and mistakes can coexist. All it takes is the ability to repair relationships and stay true to our values. Andrew’s willingness to admit his own mistake was a powerful demonstration of his team’s core values. His honesty even created a revolution of its own in the workplace, leading to higher levels of trust, respect and transparency.

The example of Andrew’s team shows what can happen when an organization or a group within an organization experiences a failure or a fall.

Rising strong is a process with three steps: the reckoning the rumble and the revolution. The reckoning entails recognizing one’s own emotions and getting curious about them. Rumbling is all about questioning the stories we tell to learn more about ourselves. And finally the revolution is the fundamental change we experience when rising up, more courageous and confident than before

Action plan: Rumble with your team! We’ve seen that the rising-strong process is not limited to individuals, but can also be applied to groups. To make this process more precise, here are some questions that are especially helpful in an organizational setting:

What emotions are the people in our team experiencing?

What do we need to get curious about?

What are the stories that the team members are making up?

What can these stories tell us about the relationships within the team, about communication and team culture?

What are the key learnings?

And how do we act on these key learnings?

These questions will facilitate rumbling in your team; thoroughly answering them will bring your team closer together.

[revpauljbern]

Commentary this week with Author Rev. Paul J. Bern

Those Who Sugarcoat the Bible's Truths

Dilute Its Message and Cheat Their Congregations

by Pastor Paul J. Bern

For better viewing on phones, tablets or my website, click here :-)

The Bible is a gritty book. It's very raw and very real. It deals with people just like us, just as needy and screwed up as we are, encountering a God who would rather die (which He already has, only to rise again) than spend eternity without us. Yet despite that, it seems like some Christians are uncomfortable with how earthy the Bible really can be. Although the Spirituality of the Bible through the belief in the Holy Spirit is the foundation of all the Scriptures (with Jesus Christ being the cornerstone), the Bible has a way of being just as earthy as a day of doing yard work around the house (if you're lucky enough to still own one of those). But there are others who feel the need to sanitize God by making his Word 'politically correct'. God has already instilled true correctness within each of us because He alone is our source and our strength.

For example, look in any modern translation of Isaiah 64:6, and you’ll find that, to a holy God, even our most righteous acts are like “filthy rags”, as the sanitized King James says. But the original Greek and Hebrew didn’t say “filthy rags”, it said “menstrual rags.” That sounded a little too crass to the Bible's 17th century English translators, so they just relabeled it 'filthy' instead to sugar-coat it. Jesus was naked when He was hanging on that cross, he wasn't wearing an adult diaper like some denominations portray him. The apostle Paul said that he considered his good deeds “a pile of garbage” in Philippians 3:8 rather than human waste, as the original Hebrew and Greek were more accurately translated. Oh yeah, and let’s definitely not mention the ten commandments in the Old Testament. That might be unpopular. Never mind that between the books of Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy there are a total of 630 of them. That could expose people as being the sinners that we all truly are. God forbid!

The point? God’s message was not meant to be run through some arbitrary, holier-than-thou politeness filter. God couldn't care less about political correctness, and I feel the same way. When I open my mouth, I don't care if anybody 'likes' me or not. While I care a great deal about keeping my readers supplied with the very best posts I can produce, it's more important to earn respect than to be simply admired. And so it is with God. He intended the Bible to speak to people where they’re at, caught up in the stark reality of life on a fractured and slowly dying planet.

There are dozens of Psalms that are complaints and heart-wrenching cries of despair to God, not holy-sounding, reverently worded soliloquies. Take Psalm 77:1-3: “I cry out to God; yes, I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me! When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help”. Psalm 4 verse 1 says, “Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.”

Rather than shy away from difficult and painful topics, the Old Testament includes vivid descriptions of murder, cannibalism, witchcraft, dismemberment, torture, rape, idolatry, deviant sex practices, plus human and animal sacrifices. According to the apostle Paul, those stories were written as examples and warnings for us, as he wrote: “These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except that which is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it.” (1st Corinthians 10, verses 11-13).

So obviously these graphic stories were meant to be retold without editing out all the things we don’t consider nice or agreeable. I have gradually arrived at the conclusion over time that the Scriptures include such graphic material to show how far we as the sum of humanity have fallen and how far God was willing to come to rescue us from ourselves. God is much more interested in honesty than piety, and in our Spirituality rather than religiosity. And that’s what He gives us throughout Scripture by telling the stories of people who struggled with the same issues, questions and temptations we face today. “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Romans 3, verses 10-12)

Peter struggled with doubt and with a bad temper, and we read all about it when Jesus is arrested at Gethsemane (see John 18: 10-11). Elijah dealt with depression; Naomi raged with bitterness against God; Hannah struggled for years under the burden of her unanswered prayers. David had an affair and then arranged to have his lover’s husband killed in battle. Noah was a drunk, and Moses was on the run from a murder charge when God called him. Even Job came to a place where he found it necessary to make a covenant with his eyes not to lust after young girls (Job 31:1).

Was it not Jesus who said, “I have come not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance”? It's all a matter of priorities. “I desire mercy”, Jesus said, “not sacrifice” (Matt. 9: 12-13). Don't boast to God about how often you attend church, or how much you “tithe” each week. Never mind your rituals, Jesus was saying. Tell me about how much you did for others whether they deserved it or not. I want to know how well you treated others, and I want to know what you did to make a positive difference in their lives. That's all that matters in the end.

It’s easy to make “Bible heroes” (as Protestants might say) or “saints” (as Catholics might refer to them) out to be bigger than life, immune from the temptations that everyone else faces. I find it encouraging that Jesus never came across as being pious or condescending. In fact, he was never accused of being too religious; instead he partied so much that he was accused of being a drunkard and a glutton because he was perceived as associating with “sinners” (Matthew 11:19). His first miracle was changing water into wine, and it is documented in all four gospels that wine was served and consumed at the Last Supper. So, people who insist that one must be a teetotaler to go to heaven when they die are not only incorrect, they are judging people they don't even know.

Jesus never said, “The Kingdom of God is like a church service that goes on and on forever and never ends.” Our church services can't hold a candle to what heaven will be like. Jesus promised us that heaven would be like a homecoming celebration, an enormous block party, and a wedding feast to which all are invited, all at the same time! This idea was too radical for the religious leaders during the time of Christ, and in some cases it still is. There are too many churches today who are more concerned about vain traditions and pompous religious rituals that aren't even in the Bible than they are about partying with Jesus. And that’s why they missed out. That’s why many of us still miss out today.

Pardon me, pastor, but did you say 'party with Jesus'? Yeah, I sure did. By the same token, I am well aware that there are some individuals who simply cannot touch alcoholic beverages at all, and I understand that completely. There are others who abstain by choice, and I have no problem with that whatsoever. I'm only saying that I don't think it's a sin to drink unless it is done to excess. Following Jesus is far more than just being dutiful or subservient, it is richly rewarding and exhilarating. Plus, the feeling we will get once we arrive in heaven is far superior to any man-made beverage!

According to Jesus, the truly spiritual life is one marked by freedom rather than compulsion (“So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed”. John 8: 36), and by love rather than ritual (“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. 'Well said, teacher' the man replied. 'You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but Him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices'.” (Mark 12: 30-33).

Another hallmark of a Christ follower is a truly Spiritual life focused on peace rather than guilt (“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14: 27). Jesus saves us from the dry, dusty duties of religion and frees us to cut loose and celebrate. I don’t believe we’ll ever recognize our need for the light until we’ve seen the depth of the darkness. God himself wasn’t afraid to get down and dirty with us about life and temptation and forgiveness and grace. Only when the Bible seems relevant to us (which is essential), only when the characters seem real to us (and they certainly were); only then will the message of redemption become personal for us as it was always meant to be.

We don’t need to edit God. It's our brains and our hearts that need a good editing. We need to let Him be the author and the editor of our new lives and the construction superintendent for our (hopefully rapidly) growing and expanding faith. The time is getting short, people, very short indeed. It's time for all of us to lead more Spiritual lives, because Jesus will be returning soon, and at a time when you least expect him. The stakes are where we will spend eternity, and there is no more serious subject than that.

[someguidance]

Imagine what your reaction would be if you saw your Muslim brother or sister verbally and physically abusing another Muslim that was feeling very depressed for making a mistake?  What if you heard them yelling, “YOU STUPID IDIOT…..can’t you do anything right? Then punching him and saying, “YOU’RE ALWAYS MESSING UP!”  As he tries to catch his breath, he kicks him and says, “You are so WORTHLESS!” Your heart would be overflowing with sympathy for the one oppressed and with absolute rage at the oppressor. The natural response would be to protect the oppressed, help him up  and tend to his wounds.  You would comfort him by explaining that we all make mistakes and we can always change. As your nurturing slowly takes effect, your anger would be directed at the cruel, heartless person standing before you.  That person could be yourself.

This is the way we usually react towards ourselves when we make mistakes and when we fall short of our expectations.  We beat ourselves up with abusive language which causes scars that last much longer than physical scars.  Negativity and hostility envelops us and we repeatedly kick ourselves until we are immobilized.  How is it that we were so sensitive and understanding towards our Muslim brother or sister yet we can’t tolerate the smallest mistakes from ourselves?  Why is it so easy to see the abuse of others and yet we are so blinded by the abuse we commit to ourselves on a daily basis?

There are many times when we may not feel good about ourselves.  It could be that we feel disappointed from repeatedly falling into the same error or extremely frustrated that we are not fulfilling our duties.  Sometimes we are not content with our personality – we may feel caged in by our shyness or out of control by our anger.  If it is not frustration or disappointment we are feeling, then it’s anxiety.  Many people suffer from anxiety which stems from fear of the future or fear of the unknown.   Whatever the circumstances may be, the reactions are usually the same.  We demoralize ourselves with negative self-talk which leaves us feeling miserable and hopeless.  Each time we make a mistake we are harsher and more severe which leaves us feeling more depressed and less peaceful.

This pattern has got to STOP.  We need to explore the many things that destroy our peace and techniques to use in order to gain that peace back.

Peace Slayers:

1. Dwelling Over The Past

There are times when people can’t forgive themselves for mistakes of the past. It could be due to hurtful things they have said or done.  They spend all their time regretting the mistakes they have made. Some people can’t forgive the mistakes of others. Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the misguided. (Surat Al-Araf, 7:199) They have somehow been wronged either by their parents, spouse, relative, friend or complete strangers and they can’t go beyond this incident. They end up clinging on to grudges and  they vow to never forgive the perpetrator. Living in the past prevents you from enjoying the blessings of the present. By dwelling on the past and not being able to overlook the mistakes of themselves or others, they will rob themselves of the serenity they deserve.

2. Anxious About The Future

There are people who spend every waking moment worrying about the future. Verily, We have created man in toil (a state of struggle and stress). (Surat Al-Balad 90:4) When will I get married?  Will I have kids? Will I pass my exam? Am I going to get a job?  How will my kids turn out? How will I pay for their tuition? Am I going to get sick or get a disease? What will happen when I retire? The worries go on and on with no end in sight. This constant preoccupation with the future makes them miss out on all the wonderful events of the present.

3. Comparing

Another way that people destroy their peace is by comparing themselves to others. They look at the polished exterior of others and feel inadequate about themselves, their spouse and their children since they are aware of all their own flaws and shortcomings. Each person is a package deal so accept the whole package. You may be admiring a person’s good looks not knowing how their heart is diseased. The wealth and possessions of others may impress you when you are unaware of the tests they may be encountering. And He has raised you in ranks, some above others that He may test you in that which He has bestowed on you. (Surat Al-An’am, 6:165) Look not with your eyes ambitiously at what We have bestowed on certain classes, nor grieve over them. (Surat Al-Hijr, 15:88) Each time we compare, we are left feeling unhappy and anxious, depriving ourselves from being aware of all the wonderful things  in our lives.

The only time it is recommended to compare is when it has a positive impact on our lives. We can compare ourselves to people more knowledgeable or more charitable in order to get us inspired to be a better person. Narrated by Abu Hurairah the Prophet (peace and salat upon him) said, “Do not wish to be like anyone except two men:  A man whom Allah has taught the Quran and he recites it during the day and night and a man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it on charity.”  Another permissible comparison is looking at people who are much worse off than us in wealth and health. By doing this we instantly feel grateful and pacified.

4. Rejecting your destiny

The worst way of slaying your peace is by rejecting your destiny. This is when a person is absolutely angry, upset and frustrated from the events of their life. It may be that they have not gotten married or were divorced, they are unable to get a job, they have medical issues or they are unhappy with their spouse. Whatever the circumstance- they are mad. They feel it’s unfair. They question why others have it easy and their life is such a mess. It’s vital to realize that Allah is the Most Wise and if a person questions their life they are implying (Astaghfirullah) that they know better than Allah. When people reject their destiny, they sentence themselves to a life of misery. You may hate something when it is good for you, and you may love something when it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know. (Surat al-Baqara, 2:216)

Ways to attain peace:

1. Relationship with God

When people have a strong, healthy relationship with their creator, they attain an infinite amount of peace. It is Allah who sent peace and tranquillity into the hearts of the believers, that they may grow more in their faith. (Surat al-Fath 48:4)  Their perspective is broadened. They don’t only look at the circumstances and difficulties of their lives and despair.  Certainty in the promises of Allah fills their heart which makes them persevere with an unequivocal amount of patience when faced with the most unimaginable tests.  When people know the names and attributes of Allah – I mean really know them and understand them not just list the names- then they will not fall prey to the slayers of peace because they will not dwell over the past, won’t be anxious about the future, won’t compare and they definitely would not reject their destiny. Without a well established relationship with Allah which involves obedience and commitment, no one can have true peace. Behold! Verily on the ‘Awiliyas’ (friends) of Allah there is no fear, nor shall they grieve; those who believe and constantly guard against evil. (Surat Yunus, 10:62-63)

2. Acceptance

Acceptance is one of the most critical aspect of attaining peace. There needs to be genuine acceptance  of everything in your life and that includes  your past, your present, your looks, your circumstances  and your destiny. If you are unable to accept an event in your life and if you dwell on why things happened the way they did, then you will be filled with grief and anxiety. Don’t grieve at the things that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. (Surat Al-Hadid 27:23) As soon as there is acceptance, the peace immediately follows.  The focus of therapy in many instances is to help the client accept themselves and their lives. It is amazing how a person transforms when they stop metaphorically having a tantrum by kicking and screaming and finally accepting their portion in life.

3. Internal Validation

Majority of people have very low self-esteem and the only way they can feel good about themselves is to try to gain the approval and acceptance of others. This can be a very slippery slope depending on the people they are trying to impress.  Many teenagers are so desperate to gain recognition and approval of their peers that they will do absolutely anything. This of course is the extreme example where individuals put their ethics and beliefs aside simply to gain acceptance.  However; there is a more subtle, psychological issue which involves being unhappy unless a person receives compliments or validations. They simply can’t feel adequate unless they get another person’s approval. This will make a person extremely needy of others and they will never feel content or even peaceful unless another person gives them validation. That is why it is of paramount importance to give internal validation ; feeling good about actions because they are pleasing to Allah. There is no need to be dependent on others to feel good or worthy. And they give food for the love of Him to the poor, orphan, and the captive saying, “We feed you seeking Allah’s Countenance only.  We wish for no reward , nor thanks from you.” (Surat-Al-Insan 76:8,9)

4.Self-Talk

The dialogue people have with themselves has been estimated to be about 600 words a minute! What’s all the chatter about? Studies show that 85% of the self-talk is negative. Once the self-talk is seen as a way to program the mind, it can be used to achieve peace. When a person says comforting things to themselves rather than beating themselves up they will be in a much better state to reach their goals. It is important to remember to be kind and understanding when mistakes occur and to always be aware of the internal dialogue. When the self-talk is positive then a person can overcome any obstacle – if it is negative they will propel in a downward spiral of depression.   Whatever is said in this internal dialogue will determine the mood, the level of peace and the ability to achieve any goal so watch the self-talk.

5. Self-worth

A person’s self-worth is not based on some number – it’s not how much is in the bank account, IQ, size, GPA or salary.  When people start equating their worth based on these things they can feel extremely discouraged. Self-worth is the ability for people to see themselves as competent, successful individuals that are able to deal effectively with the demands of their lives.  One of the biggest stumbling blocks to success is a lack of self-worth. The best way to feel worthwhile is doing everything in your life to please the creator. Verily, my prayer, my sacrifice, my living and my death are for Allah, the Lord of mankind. (Surat Al-An’am 6:162) In this way the action is done purely for Allah without longing for any recognition or approval from anyone else.  It is essential to establish an exemplary character which truly makes any individual an invaluable asset to have in any setting. To foster a feeling of self-worth is to set small, achievable goals that will bring about a feeling of confidence.   Contributing time, money and talent in helping others will also develop a strong sense of self-worth. Whosoever intercedes for a good cause will have the reward thereof. (Surat An-Nisa 4:85)

6. Forgiveness

The key to having peace within ourselves and with others is to be forgiving. Grudges and animosity gradually diminish our state of tranquillity just as a pristine piece of metal steadily rusts in harsh weather. If we view each event in our life as a test and we focus on passing the test then it is much easier to forgive. When we forgive to only please Allah and to pass our tests peace descends upon our hearts. It is so incredibly liberating when we can let go of the hurt, throw out the emotional baggage and move on. It will free our heart, our mind and our soul if we forgive and forget. The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah. (Surat Ash-Shura 42:40) When you are faced with difficulties and disappointments make sure you avoid the peace slayers. As you stay away from the things that rob you of peace, work hard on attaining it back through the above mentioned suggestions. Each item in this article requires another article to elaborate on the topic in depth; however I wanted to give an overview of how peace can be attained since so many people struggle with it. There are multitudes of ways to gain peace – these were just a few.