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dramas-vs-novels · 1 day ago

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Novel Summary: Try Me: Pakin x Graph

** This story takes place 2 years before the events of Love Storm/Love Sky/Love in the Air and includes Payu and Saifah

Pakin is considered the most dangerous mafia lord in Bangkok.

He is young, only 27, but merciless and utterly brilliant. He is famously ice cold towards friends or foe, and happily stands alone in the world. He will accept companions in his bed of any gender, but don't mistake companions for lovers.

The only person Pakin trusts is Chai- his bodyguard when he was younger, now his right-hand man.

In all of Thailand, there is only one person who dares to get on Pakin's nerves: Graph. Graph is only 17 years old, but has been in love with Pakin for ten long years. Since before he knew what love was.

Graph's father is a powerful and influential politician who has been dealing with Pakin's father, and then Pakin himself, most of Graph's life. They have a symbiotic relationship- Pakin controls the darker figures of the world and keeps crime manageable, and Graph's father paves the way for any project Pakin's above-board business empire desires.

Graph is, to put it mildly, a brat. His parents have never been bothered to raise their offspring, and Graph gets whatever he wants, making him utterly spoiled. He excels at getting on Pakin's last nerve, then pushing it further.

Pakin truly hates the little asshole.

When Graph breaks in to the illegal street races that Pakin manages, he is dragged out and dumped at home by Pakin himself, who confiscates the expensive superbike that Graph treats as a toy. Eventually, Graph convinces Pakin to return the bike, but only if he learns how to ride it properly from the twins Saifah and Payu.

But while he is riding around Pakin's track, Graph becomes distracted and is thrown from the bike, knocking him unconscious. To preserve business ties with Graph's father, Pakin is forced to take him to the hospital personally, and deliver him home.

Graph has always been medically fragile. Most of his life has been spent visiting hospitals and taking daily medication. Because of this, Graph has become a master of... ignoring doctor's orders and not taking his medication, aggravating his own condition.

But Graph will use his condition as best he can. If Pakin is forced to take care of him when he is sick, then Graph will just be sick. But Pakin is vicious and cruel to the teenager, beyond what Pakin's own staff believe is reasonable or safe. Pakin won't hesitate to leave an injured and bleeding Graph by the side of the road if he is displeased- and nothing pisses Pakin off faster or more thoroughly than Graph.

Every time Pakin is cruel, part of Graph dies. But every time he shows even the smallest taste of kindness, that love that is poisoning and killing Graph wakes back up.

One day, Graph is abducted from his friend's house by a gang enforcer named Kon. Kon forces Graph to ride his bike within their caravan, taking him to an unknown destination. But Graph puts up a fight, trying to lose them in a high-stakes race through the streets of Bangkok before ending up alone on a stretch of under-construction road.

Just as Kon's men close in, promising to assault Graph to take revenge on Pakin for a business deal their boss was cut out of, Pakin arrives to save Graph. Pakin is enraged that anyone connected the boy to him.

Half the reason he pushes the brat away so viciously is to keep the politician's son alive and away from the criminal underground.

And then Pakin is forced into the very spot he never wanted to be in: Graph's father decides to shove the boy off on Pakin, forcing Pakin to take him in as a ward in his mansion. It allows Pakin to keep a closer eye on the boy, but also forces Pakin to engage with a child he utterly despises.

Graph couldn't be happier- at first. But Pakin is a brutal guardian, and only becomes crueler to the child. Graph is imprisoned in the house- he is taken to school and picked up after, and must give reports on his whereabouts to Pakin's right hand man Chai.

The only person in Graph's corner is his best friend Chanchao, a girl obsessed with BL and gay couples. Chanchao is the devil on Graph's shoulder, the one who teaches him how to sweet talk Pakin- which more often than not only pisses Pakin off more.

Chai, meanwhile, is absolutely on board shipping this couple, and approves of Chanchao's efforts.

When Chanchao convinces Graph to slip into Pakin's bedroom one night and sleep beside him- imagining a romantic scenario where Pakin wakes with Graph in his arms and falls in love with the boy- Graph is horrified to enter the room and see a devastatingly beautiful male model sleeping nude in Pakin's bed.

Graph flees the room, knocking over a lamp and stepping on broken glass in the process. The model appears to have free reign of the house, and can come and go from Pakin's bedroom at will. Even Pakin himself doesn't dare get too angry with the beautiful man.

Numb and broken, Graph doesn't even feel the wound in his foot, or notice the blood. Chanchao frantically takes him to the infirmary at school, and tries to cheer Graph up, though he is despondent and numb.

And when Graph goes to leave school, it is not one of Pakin's guards waiting for Graph, but the gorgeous man who shared Pakin's bed in the morning.

And Win feels... he owes Graph a bit of an explanation.

Win likes to piss off Pakin, it was why he slipped in bed with him- but absolutely not for any form of sexual contact. Win is a famous model worldwide, but what he has kept secret is that he is actually Pakin's cousin.

When Win was Graph's age, he fell madly in love with Chai, and was brutally rebuffed, just like Pakin is doing with Graph. Eventually, Win was driven to desperation, and threw himself in bed with the seductive and dangerous Sin. If Pakin runs the underground of Bangkok, Sin runs the night. His clubs are where the rich and powerful gather, and the aphrodisiacs he laces his liquor with can drive anyone insane with lust.

Win threw himself at Sin, and regretted it the moment that entanglement became a wall between himself and Chai. What Win sees in Graph is another young man on the brink of desperation, and a chance to save Graph from going down the same dark path that Win himself walked... and has hated every step of for six long and agonizing years.

Win and Chai cannot heal the rift between them now (At least, not until their own novel), each only knows how to hurt the other. But Win, romantic that he is, wants to help. He wants to be the ally Graph needs, an ally that Win himself never had in his pursuit of Chai.

Between Win and Chanchao, Graph finally has fighters in his corner helping him-- make things worse. Both of them are horrible at giving advice and should be muzzled for everyone's sake.

Win takes Graph to Sin's club. Not to meet the man- Win himself is deeply uncomfortable around the one who took his virginity and who he holds responsible for his misery, loneliness, and depression. But he wants Graph to see the world Pakin frequents. To know the type of people who catch Pakin's eye.

Pakin finds out Graph was there, and is absolutely enraged. Win might have made some kind of peace with what happened between him and Sin (to be clear, he was not assaulted, but he regrets the encounter with every fiber of his being... and yet retains a casual sexual relationship with Sin), but Pakin vehemently hates the man. He hates him for the pain it caused Win, and the rift it created in his family.

And now Graph is headed for the same path.

Graph becomes obsessed with this figure called "Sin". This is the man who taught Win how to have sex, the master of the sensual darkness that Pakin is part of. He wants to meet Sin, to learn whatever secrets Sin can impart on how to seduce Pakin.

Graph is approached at school by a popular honors student, the head of the student council. Nith is brilliant, but not terribly social. He invites Graph to skip class, and takes him to spend the day at a bowling alley. The whole time, Nith promises he can introduce Graph to Sin, stringing Graph along and then refusing to make the introduction.

When Nith drops an angry Graph off at Pakin's mansion, Graph is stunned not only by Pakin standing on the steps waiting for them, but by the icy chill radiating from Pakin.

It turns out Nith is actually Sin's beloved younger brother. And for his own sake, Nith advises Graph to stay the hell away.

Graph's desperation and depression only get worse as Pakin ridicules him for his obsession with Sin and his unending devotion to Pakin himself. He crushes the boy's heart time and again, more and more viciously each time.

Pakin's wrath at seeing Graph with Nith breaks the leash Pakin keeps on his short temper, and he drags Graph up into the house, throws him in a room, and locks Graph in a vicious, painful, and violent kiss. One that leaves him limp on the floor, mouth aching, and sobbing.

There is nothing tender in the kiss, no love, no desire, only violent possession and humiliating domination.

Pakin again insults Graph, saying no one- let alone someone as great as Pakin himself- could ever want the boy, Every little insecurity in Graph that Pakin knows about, he puts pressure on, shattering the boy.

But after Pakin leaves, Win is there to offer a lifeline. To try and be the friend that lonely and lost Graph so desperately needs.

Win offers to teach Graph how to kiss, since Pakin threw all of that into the boy's face. Win has no interest in Graph sexually, but he is determined to be a kinder and gentler mentor than he himself ever had.

But when Pakin sees Graph kissing Win, moaning gently beneath a sweet and soft kiss, he immediately flies into another rage. This time, Pakin doesn't stop at demeaning and belittling Graph. And when Graph once again swears to find and meet Sin, Pakin does the only thing he can think of to keep the boy from his most dangerous associate:

He throws Graph out of the house.

For Graph, this isn't a small thing. It isn't a matter of simply regrouping and coming back swinging. Graph has been abandoned his entire life. By his parents, by friends, by family- even the servants ignore him and treat him as if he's nothing.

Throwing Graph out of the house is such an incredibly cruel move that even Pakin himself avoided it until his hand was forced.

He will destroy Graph if it means keeping him away from Sin, and safe from the dangers of Pakin's life. It's the only care he will ever show for Graph.

But this only does what everyone was trying to stop from the beginning. That very night, Graph goes to Sin's club.

Nith sees Graph enter, and immediately calls to warn Pakin.

Graph is quickly found by Sin, who pulls Graph along to more and more private corners of the club, fishing for information about Pakin's association with the boy. He lures Graph into a secret room, and tricks him into drinking wine laced with powerful and dangerous drugs.

But when Sin climbs on top of a resisting Graph, Pakin appears, pulls a gun on his frenemy, and fires a warning shot beside his ear. Sin sees himself out, annoyed by the shiny new bruise Pakin adds to his jaw with a brutal punch, but happy at the chaos he's leaving in his wake.

Graph is firmly under the effects of the drug. His body is burning up and aching in ways he's never felt. Pakin tries to show kindness to the boy and takes on a gentler tone, but Graph cannot leave the room.

He is lost in a fog, his heart is beating violently, and every inch of his body is... extremely sensitive.

Telling himself that he is only doing the boy a service in lessening the effects of Sin's drugs, Pakin lays Graph down on a bed in Sin's secret room and indulges himself with the teenager's body.

Pakin kisses and bites and strokes every sensitive spot, his own body burning at the innocent moans and desperate pleas from the boy. He does not have sex with Graph- Pakin himself never gets off- but he makes Graph cum over and over until the boy finally passes out.

There is no way to keep Graph out of the darkness around Pakin anymore, not since Sin knows he exists, and how much fear Pakin showed in saving him personally.

So when Graph comes to, Pakin brings him back to the manor.

But Pakin is still cold and cruel, so Win approaches his old lover. Sin gives Win a bottle of Pakin's favorite brandy, the entire bottle spiked the same way Graph's wine was.

Win helps Graph by getting Pakin drunk, and helping Graph tie him to the headboard. Graph will be the one to have his way with Pakin, and Graph prepares his body as Win advised.

But it goes wrong.

Pakin was never unconscious, and he wasn't nearly as drunk as he pretended to be. He opens his eyes as Graph climbs on top of him and starts kissing his neck and chest, and mocks Graph brutally as the boy tries to play with Pakin's cock and make him hard.

Embarrassed and angry, Graph's stubbornness comes out and he immediately strips and tries to finger himself, but it's painful. Pakin demands Graph come closer and begins to bite and suck at the boy's neck, distracting him from the pain.

But when Graph tries to put Pakin inside him, the pain is so much worse, and Graph is forced to accept that he cannot do it. Graph begins to sob, finally admitting to himself that he will never attract anyone, let alone someone like Pakin.

All of Pakin's cruel words and the systematic shattering of his dignity have finally broken Graph down.

When Pakin snarles for Graph to untie his arms, Graph obeys.

And Pakin pounces.

He may have been faking being drunk, but what even Pakin won't admit to himself is that the drugs in Sin's alcohol have affected him STRONGLY. And he loses all control.

Pakin pins Graph to the bed and slams into him hard and fast. He is as rough as he wants to be with Graph, teasing and playing with Graph's body for hours on end, forcing Graph to cum over and over again, beyond the point his body can handle. Graph begs Pakin to stop while he is still able to speak, but Pakin feels satisfied inside Graph's body in a way he hasn't felt in years.

Pakin fucks Graph until the boy cums for the fifth time, but Pakin enjoys edging himself, and only lets himself cum once, well after Graph has passed out from exertion and pain.

Satisfied, Pakin falls asleep beside Graph.

But he doesn't sleep for long. Pakin wakes up to boiling heat and someone clinging to him. He's angry at first, until he realizes the heat radiating off of Graph's body is beyond dangerous.

Graph is very medically fragile, and what Pakin did to him in bed sent his body into an extremely high fever, so high that Pakin himself cannot wake the boy up.

And anyone who sees Graph's body will know exactly what Pakin did to him in bed. That Pakin had sex with a seventeen year old boy. A child. The son of a powerful political force.

Pakin sends for a private doctor and hurries to wipe Graph's body down, but when he pulls back the sheet he finds blood coming from Graph's rear, which prolapsed and tore at some point while Pakin was inside of him.

It's only then that Pakin realizes how brutal he was under the effects of the drug, and how horrifying Graph's condition is.

The doctor arrives and inspects the boy thoroughly. He gives Graph several injections to bring his temperature under control, and prescribes more medicine that Graph will have to take daily. Luckily for Pakin, the tear in Graph's rear (not to mention the prolapse) is still on the manageable side. If Graph takes his medicine and is given proper rest to recover, it should work itself out in time.

As much as a mafia doctor knows not to ask questions or challenge Pakin, he still warns the man from touching the boy again, and emphasizes that Pakin was brutal beyond the child's physical tolerance.

When it comes time to give Graph his medicine again, Pakin cannot stir the boy. Win puts the pill in his own mouth, takes a drink of water, and puts his mouth over Graph's to feed him the medicine, but the unconscious boy chokes.

Pakin shoves Win away and tries again himself, using his tongue to stroke the inside of Graph's mouth until the boy moans in his sleep and the pill is swallowed.

Graph is unconscious for most of the day, and is trapped in terrible nightmares. In them, he sees his family abandoning him, servants ignoring him, and even the kind 16 year-old Pakin who would play games with him turning distant and vicious. Every insult rings in his ears, and then the Pakin in his nightmare is attacking him, causing more pain to his body than he has ever felt in his life.

Graph speaks enough in his sleep that Pakin has an idea of what he was dreaming of. It's enough to jar Pakin, to remind him that all of this brutality and cruelty he's been throwing at Graph has been directed at an emotionally unsatble and abandoned teenager. A boy so brutally lonely that he is no different from Win at the same age.

Pakin's heart begins to soften.

He wakes Graph from his nightmare, and teases the boy over his condition only a little. Graph is facing intense pain and can barely move. He cannot walk on his own, and needs Pakin to carry him to even use the bathroom.

But as much as Pakin teases him, there is no cruelty, and as much as it hurts Graph's heart, he feels that poisonous love reappearing again.

Graph is bedridden for several days, and his friend Chanchao finally demands to come over and see how he is for herself. Pakin answers the phone, and is darkly suspicious of this girl who he keeps seeing by Graph's side.

When Chanchao arrives, she is escorted by Nith for her own protection, not knowing that Nith is the last person Pakin wants to see- he regards him as no different from his half-brother Sin.

Playing in his own way, Win refers to Chanchao as Graph's girlfriend, making Pakin angry.

Chanchao is terrified of Pakin, but hurries to check on her friend.

But her presence has stirred Pakin's temper. He makes Graph promise to be a good boy the next day. If Graph goes to school and takes all of his medicine- no tricking the servants like he usually does- Pakin will give him a reward that night. Graph of course agrees and eagerly follows Pakin's command.

He follows the rules... for days.

Pakin never comes home- not while Graph is in the mansion. He won't throw Graph out again, so he throws himself out. Pakin spends every night in another lover's embrace, trying to satisfy the craving he's developed.

But none of them are close to Graph. Unintentionally seductive in bed, inexperienced, his body capable of being trained to whatever preference Pakin had- Graph is addicting. Pakin goes further and further, turning up at one of Sin's parties to take three women to bed with him at once.

But none of them are close to Graph.

So Pakin finally goes home. The servants- especially the head chef Auntie Keaw- are happy to see him. Auntie was Pakin's nurse as a child, and she has more freedom to speak than others (Though she still has a healthy fear of Pakin).

She tells him that Graph has behaved himself every single day. He's obediently taken his medicine, gone to school and come straight home, and studied hard to pick up his grades. He has been a model child... But a desperately lonely one. He stays up late waiting for Pakin to come home, and is sad every day that he is forced to eat meals alone.

Pakin relents and goes upstairs to see the boy alone in the large bed. Pakin lays down beside him, and falls asleep.

Graph is woken by the feeling of hands on his body. When he suddenly snaps to, he finds Pakin on top of him, the two already mostly naked. Pakin slept for an hour and then woke, stroking Graph's body and enjoying the feeling of it in his hand.

Pakin devoures Graph, but this time he is gentler. He doesn't push Graph's body to the point of breaking, and doesn't drag the sex on for hours on end.

When they're done, he just holds Graph tight and falls asleep once again, a delighted Graph in his arms.

Graph himself cannot sleep with Pakin's cum inside him, so he cleans up and then goes to toss the laundry in the hamper.

But then Graph finds Pakin's shirt, covered in lipstick and makeup from many different women. He realizes that Pakin has been sleeping around the whole time he left Graph alone. That Graph was not his only lover since that night he was savaged, and he feels betrayed by Pakin yet again.

Graph throws the shirt at Pakin and screams at him, then dresses and runs out of the house as quickly as he can. He goes to school and finds Chanchao, then follows her home, intending to hide and disappear, determined to never see Pakin again.

But Pakin knows the hold he has over Graph. He can't understand why Graph cares. Pakin himself only sees sex as stress relief, and he doesn't put any significance on it at all. But Graph is young, he still has romantic ideas about it, and Pakin realizes the boy is hurt yet again by his actions.

Pakin follows to Chanchao's house, and forces her family to let him inside. He coaxes Graph out, takes him to the car, and is enraged when Graph still won't speak to him.

They fight, and Graph leaves Pakin's car the moment they get to the manor. Graph has been in Pakin's room ever since the first night they had sex, but he goes to the guest room on the quiet and abandoned side of the manor, isolating himself and refusing to eat.

Pakin forces Graph out later that night, and reveals he has personally cooked dinner for Graph. They come to a sort of understanding, and Pakin is ready to acknowledge to himself (but not to Graph) that he has fallen for the little demon, and must take responsibility.

Everything Pakin did was to keep Graph from the dark and dangerous underworld that would chew him up and spit him out a broken creature like Win, but all Pakin did was force Graph deeper.

Graph is used to Pakin's cruelty and violence, but now he sometimes shows Graph warmth, which further confuses his heart. It's inevitable that Pakin will break him down again, so when he is kind and Graph's love for him heals... It's too painful. Too cruel.

As an apology for sleeping around and disappointing Graph, and a reward for the boy taking his medicine obediently all those days, Pakin promises to give Graph a full day of anything he wants. A perfect date.

At first, it's innocent. Food, bowling- simple things that are easy for Pakin to give the boy.

But then Graph uses his card to demand an invite to Pakin's race that night. A race he has been explicitely banned from.

Graph has Pakin in a corner, but the man still puts up a fight. He will never let Graph attend the street races in any way.

So Graph uses a bargaining chip that Pakin didn't even know he had: he promises that if Pakin takes him, Graph will let him do whatever he wants to his body all night long. Graph will never ask Pakin to stop.

It's enough to convince Pakin, though he isn't happy about it.

That nice, Chai is Graph's personal guard at the races, but before Graph can do more than look a bit, they receive word that Kon has been seen in the area. Kon, if you do not recall, was the gang enforcer who tried to kidnap Graph in the past on behalf of his boss Nop, a rival gang lord.

Chai takes Graph and a woman named Playfa to hide in Pakin's personal car, and orders them to remain inside while he and Pakin go deal with Nop.

If there is anyone in the world Graph can be said to hate, it's Playfa. He's only met her once, when Pakin abandoned him at a hospital in order to deliver flowers to the woman's room. She's painfully beautiful, and Pakin shows her a warmth he never showed Graph.

Graph also does not believe for a second what everyone around him keeps telling him: That Pakin has no sexual interest in Playfa. Not anymore (he tried, she rejected him thoroughly, sometimes he jokingly propositions her still for a laugh). Playfa is one of Pakin's most prized racers, but she's semi-retired. She truly is just Pakin's friend.

Unable to stand being around what he is sure is Pakin's secret lover, Graph ignores everything and leaves the car, intending to storm back into the race.

But Kon and his men were waiting.

Immediately, Graph is attacked, beaten, and held hostage by Kon's men. Kon intends to take him away from the races, maybe give him to his men to use before delivering Graph back to his father.

Payu and Shin- the boyfriend of top racer Oat- find Graph just in time. They beat up Kon's men, saving Graph and protecting him until Chai and his men arrive.

In the race, all Pakin knew was that Nop had Graph, and he was humiliated publicly. Forced to give some concessions to the gangster for the sake of saving the brat's life. Forced to bend to a weak opponent and show his own vulnerability.

And it makes Pakin hate Graph. It doesn't matter that Graph is saved, the damage is done.

Pakin goes home immediately, Graph on his heels trying to apologize and argue that he wasn't at fault. He accuses Pakin of sleeping with Playfa and expecting Graph to just sit idly beside her.

Pakin tries to get away from Graph before his temper explodes, but the boy won't let him go, until Pakin finally erupts.

He throws Graph into a room and slams his fist into the wall beside Graph's head. He calls Graph a jinx, bad luck, a curse. He eviscerates Graph, who desperately tries to apologize and appease him, to stop Pakin from throwing him away again.

Pakin calls Graph's bluff, and forces the boy to get on his knees and blow him. He knows how to make it hurt, how to scare Graph and punish him, and Pakin only stops when Graph collapses on the floor sobbing.

Graph flees Pakin's hate and rage and closes himself in a bathroom. Pakin goes to leave the room, but can't bring himself to do it.

He sits on the bed for a long time, thinking through everything that happened. Yes, it's dangerous. Yes, it put a huge target on Graph, that his enemies now know to target a teenager to control the most powerful mafia boss in the country.

But was Graph really in the wrong? When Pakin throws orders at him and demands blind obedience, when he refuses to explain anything...

And Pakin cannot ignore his abuse of Graph any longer. The way he uses Graph's weaknesses to break him over and over again. And what he just did and said to the boy- after Graph had already been through a terrifying experience that night... It was too much.

There is no sound from the bathroom, and Pakin becomes concerned that he's actually driven Graph to suicide this time. He enters the bathroom and finds Graph, fully dressed, balled up on the floor of the shower, using the sound to hide his own sobbing.

Graph keeps repeating that he isn't a jinx, he isn't a curse. He sounds so broken and sad and lost that Pakin finally calms down. Finally understands he is too extreme, and has gone too far.

Pakin holds Graph and soothes him, apologizing for everything he's said. For the words he said in anger without thinking. Pakin goes to help change Graph out of his wet clothing and sees bruises across his torso and chest from the beating Kon's men gave him.

He treats the injuries, and explains himself to Graph. What he is scared of, the dangers those people present.

Exhausted, Pakin goes to leave and sleep in another room, but Graph won't let him go.

Pakin's words before hit too hard, and Graph is terrified he will be thrown out on the street. Abandoned yet again. He begs Pakin to punish him, and Pakin realizes fully what he's done to Graph.

It isn't that Graph likes rough or hard sex, it's that if Pakin hurts him, it makes Graph feel safe in a weird way. That even if Pakin hates him, the violence means he is willing to vent his hate, he won't just give up on Graph and throw him out.

The worse it is for Graph, the safer he is. Because even a hateful eye is an eye on him. It isn't neglect or abandonment.

Pakin punishes Graph to soothe his insecurities, but he isn't rough, and isn't hard. He needs to fix the damage he's done to the boy's mind, and he makes a genuine effort to be kinder.

When Pakin has to leave for a long business trip, he becomes jealous of the reports of Graph spending every free moment at a friend's house to play with some dog. But when Graph hints at wanting one of his own, Pakin shuts him down hard and fast.

And then when Pakin does return from his trip... He brings Graph a dog.

Hoth, as Graph names him, is an elite German Shepherd, fully trained as a vicious attack dog. If Graph won't allow Pakin to set guards on him day and night, the dog will be his guard.

Hoth doesn't listen to a word Graph says, but the dog is perfectly obedient to Pakin, and only snarles at those who get close to his masters without permission- servants included.

Almost as soon as Graph finally feels secure with Pakin, his father appears. It has become convenient to have a son again, and so Graph's father demands Pakin return the boy.

To Graph, who is used to being treated as a toy by his own parents, this is inevitable. He stops eating, and falls into an immediate depression. This is the day Pakin has been waiting for. A chance to get rid of him.

But Pakin refuses. He puts his foot down and flat-out refuses to return the boy to his father. Graph's father is outraged, and threatens to cut off all financial ties, to effectively disown Graph if the boy doesn't come home.

So Pakin makes Graph a part of his home. He stands up for the boy, protects him, and puts Graph's own interests ahead of anything else. He shows Graph that he is wanted, that he has a place in the world.

Graph becomes a perfectly obedient and happy teenager after that. Pakin shows his gentler side as much as he can, and even when he is angry, he is careful not to genuinely scare Graph. Taunt him, tease him, but he is never cruel again.

Pakin's father returns from exile to see his son's infatuation for himself, and to be present for a race that Pakin has been working on for years.

Everything Pakin has done has been with an eye towards the event that is coming up. A race held on a private island, with the top cars in the world, for the most elite of the elite to bet on. An illegal race circuit to end all others, and billions are on the line.

Pakin's enemies have already tried to ruin his plans with bombs hidden along the track, but Pakin's men are always a step ahead. This race HAS to go perfectly, or Pakin himself might have to pay in blood.

Pakin's father forces him to invite the gang lord Nop to the event as a peace offering. Nop was once an associate of Pakin's father, he is willing to entertain at least the idea that they can co-exist.

To finalize plans for the race, Pakin must leave, and he bids farewell to Graph. Graph spends the next weeks with either Pakin's father or Win, learning from them while he finishes the school term.

As a reward for completing the year with impressive grades (by Graph's standards), Pakin arranges for Payu and Saifah to drop off a brand new top-of-the-line superbike to keep the boy entertained.

Pakin's father has other ideas though. He shows up at Pakin's illegal circuit with Graph himself, having dragged him along without telling the boy where he was going.

Pakin is terrified. All of his greatest enemies will be here, an event that can never go wrong in any way, and his father has brought Graph into it.

Still, he can't deny that after weeks apart, it's good to see the boy. Pakin takes Graph for a drive around the circuit at lower speeds, pointing out the dangerous track that will only be more dangerous at night, when the race will be held.

He spends his free time indulging Graph- taking him to the beach to play in the soft sand, driving him around the small island- and Graph falls ill. The heat was too much, and his condition too fragile.

Even though he hates the thought of missing the race, Graph agrees to stay behind in the room on his doctor's orders. To take his medicine and watch the race on a closed feed, while Pakin mixes with the elite gathered for the night.

Win arrives, intending to surprise Graph and keep him entertained alone in his room. But when Win goes to find him, Graph is gone, and his guards are unconscious on the floor.

Within seconds of the alarm being raised, Pakin notices a car driving strangely on the course, and gets a call from Kon, the gangster who has made moves against Graph many times before.

Kon succeeded this time. He is in the car that is driving strangely, and Graph is drugged in the back seat. The doctor was a plant of theirs, and he gave Graph powerful seditives. To prove the danger Graph is in, Kon activates a camera inside the car and throws open a door. He intentionally hits the side of the track, causing it to be ripped off. The debris hits Graph in the face, cutting him and sending blood pouring across his skin.

Graph will be allowed to live, but only if Pakin calls the entire race off immediately. Ends it. A move that would bankrupt Pakin at the very least, and likely lead to his death at the hands of the wealthy who gathered.

But just as Pakin is preparing to make that call, he sees a change come over Graph. Graph is a master of ignoring doctor's orders. He never took the drugs the doctor had given him. Kon has no idea that the boy in the back seat is sitting up.

Before Pakin can shout out to stop him, Graph only says "I will not be a jinx."

He grabs the wheel and crashes the car.

Pakin and his men race for the wreckage- the car went off the road at massively high speeds, and in an area with a steep ravine. He finds Graph's broken body covered in oil, and pulls Graph out just as the car explodes, killing Kon.

As for Nop, Pakin's father takes a helicoptor to hunt him down, and while he allows Nop to live, he informs him in no uncertain terms that, should Nop survive what Pakin will do to him, Pakin's father also has plans. If Nop appears in Thailand ever again, Pakin's father will personally skin him alive inch by inch.

And from Pakin's father, this is no idle threat.

Graph is evacuated to the mainland, but his injuries are incredibly severe. Pakin begs the doctors to save him, swears to pay any amount if they can bring Graph back.

But he's finally forced to admit that money can't guarantee everything.

Pakin is drowning in guilt for the cruelty he's shown Graph. For Graph's final words. He can't bare to face others, and so Pakin only comes to the hospital at night, to sit with Graph from the moment visitors are banned through to the morning (who is going to force out a mob boss?).

To Graph's friends, to Win, it looks like Pakin abandons Graph. To them, it looks like Pakin doesn't visit him once.

Because the order to end the race was never given in the chaos, the rest of it went off perfectly, making Pakin hundreds of millions in profits. Requests are pouring in for others to use the private island circuit, and Pakin's wealth grows exponentially.

Not that Pakin cares. He handles the business as a way to distract himself, as his soul drowns in guilt and grief.

Graph is in a coma for ten days. He dreams he is alone on a beautiful hillside, one he wants to stay in forever. But someone's tears fall on his cheeks, and he hears Pakin's voice begging him to come back.

Graph is so tired, in so much pain, but for Pakin, he will fight. He holds on and manages to pull himself back up.

But when he wakes in the hospital, Chanchao is the one weeping over his body. Not Pakin. Graph asks where Pakin is, but Chanchao only cries harder.

Graph's body is broken. Both of his arms and hands are in casts, one leg is broken, ribs are badly broken, and his entire body is bruised.

For a month, Graph stays in the hospital. For a month, Chanchao watches his eyes light up every time someone walks into the room, only to hollow and empty when it isn't Pakin.

Pakin never visits Graph. Not even once.

Not that anyone sees.

He is there every day, hiding, taking pictures from afar. But no one knows it. Win doesn't know it. Chanchao doesn't know it.

Chanchao is the one who covers Graph's eyes for him when he needs to cry, when the pain and the loneliness are too much. She is the one who cares for him in Pakin's place, and it makes her hate Pakin.

For his part, Pakin can only drown himself in guilt. This happened because of him. Graph nearly lost his life because of him.

For a month, Graph's only visitors are his parents (who are much warmer to him now), Chanchao, and Win.

Pakin's father hunts his son down at the apartment he's hidden himself in and talks to the boy. He tells Pakin that the only woman he ever loved was Pakin's mother. And he was terrified of someone taking her away from him every day. But in the end, it wasn't violence that claimed her life, but childbirth. She died giving him his second son (who is abroad throughout Try Me).

He warns Pakin not to let grief of what might happen destroy the love he had. It is always dangerous, but it is always worth fighting for.

Pakin returns home and finds Hoth emaciated on the steps on the mansion. The dog has spent a month waiting for his masters to return, refusing any food. At most, Win and Chai could coax him to take a few bites here and there, but he's gradually gotten worse.

Pakin sits down and pulls the dog's head onto his lap, holding him as he pours out some food and coaxes Hoth to eat again.

At home, Graph decides to try to wander out of his room. His ribs are healed, but he relies on crutches to get about, and one arm and leg are still in casts (his other arm is in a brace). As he's trying to come downstairs, Graph sees Pakin and falls.

Pakin catches him, panicked, but Graph won't even look at him. There is nothing in Graph's eyes. No love, no anger, no sadness.

Pakin has finally broken him beyond repair.

The only emotion Graph shows Pakin is in begging him to just leave Graph's life forever. To never come back. To never torture him again. Pakin abandoned him to his injuries. Graph proved he wasn't a bad luck charm or a coward, he and Pakin are nothing to each other, and Graph has finally realized they never were.

He was only ever the boy in Pakin's bed.

Graph won't let Pakin speak against him. He just turns and goes back up to his room.

Graph spent ten years chasing after Pakin with everything he had. Enduring psychological abuse and outright torture.

... So why can't Pakin do the same?

He begins visiting every single day, forcing his way into Graph's life. Pakin brings Hoth with him constantly, reuiniting Graph with his beloved dog, who is now desperate to please and obey his master, lest he be left alone again.

Pakin tells Graph how Hoth refused to eat for a month, and the dog's body is still recovering from starvation. But he will happily eat every bite of food Graph gives him.

Graph won't soften towards Pakin, he can't feel anything anymore, but he loves Hoth with all his heart, and the dog's presence begins to heal his spirit.

Pakin takes Graph to every doctor's appointment, and even tries to make some kind of peace with Chanchao.

But after three months, when Graph's casts come off, the boy is quiet. Pakin gives Chanchao some money to buy them both coffee, but the moment she's out of the car, he locks the doors and speeds off with Graph. He wants to ditch her as a bratty little prank, to force Graph to speak to him one on one.

Abandoning Chanchao at the hospital the way Pakin once abandoned Graph. Also as a prank.

When Graph says it, Pakin instantly feels guilty. He pulls the car to the side of the road quickly and immediately, triggering a panic attack in Graph. Memories of the car losing control and flying into the ravine.

Pakin soothes Graph, guilty, and goes to get Chanchao.

And Graph only asks if he can spend a day at Pakin's manor. To see Auntie and Win and everyone who has been worried about him.

Delighted, Pakin agrees, and the whole house- servants included- spoil him rotten. Hoth cannot be happier to see his master back in his home where he belongs, and acts like a puppy again. At night, Graph goes to the guest room to sleep, not Pakin's bedroom.

Pakin comes in and wraps Graph in his arms, finally resting peacefully for the first time in months.

In the morning though, Pakin wakes to Hoth's barking, and finds... Graph is missing.

He never intended to come back to Pakin.

His heart truly was too broken.

Graph applied to study abroad in secret, and his mother (who figured out his relationship with Pakin) helped arrange everything. She picked Graph up with his suitcases in the car, taking him to the airport to see him off personally.

The trip to Pakin's manor was about letting Graph say goodbye. Forever.

Win tries to call Graph and tell him what Pakin wouldn't- that Pakin was with him every single night in the hospital while he was in his coma.

But it isn't enough. Graph hangs up, and won't let Win's words change it. He died once already, he won't let the poison that is his one-sided love of Pakin kill him again.

Pakin figures out what is happening and rushes to the airport, desperate. He gets there too late, the plane is about to take off, and begs on his knees for them to hold it for just ten more minutes. Even the pilot is called, and Pakin repeats his plea.

On the way to the airport, Pakin realized the one thing he never did for Graph.

He never told him he loved him. Never told Graph how brave and how perfect he was.

Pakin buys a first class ticket on the same flight and forces his way into the cabin, grabbing Graph in front of everyone and saying everything he always wanted to say.

All along, it was the words Graph had been waiting to hear. That he wasn't just some favored bedmate. That Pakin genuinely loved him. His drowning soul just needed a lifeline.

Graph's mother gives her seat to Pakin so he can sit with Graph as the plane takes off for London, taking Pakin's seat further back.

Pakin holds Graph the entire flight, soothing him and speaking gently, apologizing for everything. They stay together in London for three days at a place owned by Pakin's father. They don't go out, they only talk.

When they fly back to Bangkok, Graph is mildly humiliated to see the same flight crew who witnessed Pakin's passionate speech to him on the plane, and burrows into Pakin's side as they dote on the couple the entire flight.

Upon returning, no one is mad at Graph. Win is only happy to have his little cousin-in-law home, and Chanchao is willing to finally forgive Pakin, since he managed to bring her best friend back to her.

Pakin will dote on Graph for the rest of their lives.

When he fears the boy is too lonely, he will summon Payu and Prapai to his house, just so their boyfriends Rain and Sky cross paths with Graph. Rain and Sky become part of Graph's innermost circle of friends in fast order, and the abandonment of the past is forgotten.

The last you hear of Graph in Mame's universe, at the end of the LITA special novel, he is there to watch Prapai finally propose to Sky, and has twin infants he and Pakin have adopted together, to finally create the family they both always wanted.

#try me #pakin #graph #try me: pakin x graph #pakin x graph #love in the air #lita #summary #novel

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