#how would the lives of people i met in 2021 to now be without me?

[saesins]

dude I am invincible I am immortal atp

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ditching a long-term friend?

I (35F) had a friend (S, 33F) for years. We bonded the first night we met. We had ups an downs, and went everywhere together. I helped her kick her bf out after he tried to hit her and helped her through two miscarriages. She helped me through a family member death and a career change. We would speak almost every day, for hours.

She was always slightly more conservative than me. When 2016 rolled around, she supported Trump. I didn't like that, but it wasn't my place to bitch about it to her, it was her decision.

By 2020, she'd changed. Idk how it happened but she went from slightly conservative Christian who loved school and being a nurse and had friends who were LGBT+ (myself included), to deadnaming trans patients, refusing to do a blood draw on a patient after she said it was a prerequisite for an abortion, forcing patients to pray with her, even when they and their families spoke out against it, and bugging her coworkers to pray with her. She got fired from the hospital and was completely unable to hold down a job after that, and went through about 6 jobs that year, getting fired from them all. She got with a guy (B, 32M) and he is a... Well, he is a damn nut. Flat earther, antivaxxer, anti- Department of Education, anti-cell phone, thought bluetooth was turning kids trans, and that covid is 100% a hoax. Absolutely bonkers. But she was smitten, so I supported her, barely.

It's important to note that I backed away from her a bit after she was fired from the hospital. We were only speaking once every few weeks at that point.

Shortly after she got with B, my nephew was born. My nephew is half Mexican, half white. She called him "cute for a half n*g" because she thought my SIL is black. This blew me away because she's half Mexican. I told her off and distanced myself even further.

In 2021, she was a huge supporter of Jan 6th. She LAUGHED when that one cop killed himself. I stopped talking to her completely after that. Deleted her contact info and forgot she existed for almost 2 years.

Cut to October of this year, and she calls me. I didn't recognize her #. She and B are getting married! And she wants me to be a bridesmaid!!! Yayy! (sarcasm). She told me a long-winded variation of "I know we haven't talked for a bit but I promise I'm not as bonkers as I was, I think I let Facebook suck me in, and I'm sorry."

So, I let her back in. Not emotionally, mind you. She's not the woman I once knew anymore. I don't tell her where our house is (my partner and I moved while S and I weren't speaking), and I didn't tell her what car I drove. I didn't tell her anything about our lives, and kept the conversation solely on her, to try and read her out a bit.

Sure enough, two conversations in she starts ranting about how black people are black because they received the mark of Cain (it's a Christian thing? I guess? Idk I'm not religious) and thus should be avoided because they are inherently "up to no good," and that systemic racism doesn't exist because the US has had a black president.

I roll my eyes, hang up the phone, block her number, and end it, permanently, right there. I received a few odd texts from a number I didn't recognize, probably B's phone, so I just blocked that number and deleted them without reading most of them.

Cue our mutual friends. 🙄

She misses you! People can have differing opinions and still be friends! Why are you being so closed minded? She told us you yelled at her! 😭😭😭

Lol. I didn't say a word, but whatever.

I'd rather adjust my life to her absence than adjust my morality to her ignorance.

My partner is on my side, they saw her change, too. But our mutual friends are still upset. I shared some the racist and sexist text convos between me and S, and it's like they hadn't even considered my side of the situation. One is on my side now, the other two are still questioning how I can throw away a 6 year friendship over "differing politics."

So, Tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/757802362042761216/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7577272183235706

Hey, I’m the one who sent you the ask the other day about taekook’s dynamic evolving. I did read your response aswell as some of the other anon asks responding to my ask and just wanted to say everything I said was from my point of view and not influenced by any other person’s thoughts. I was aware that my opinions were not going to be met with approvals because i know that tkkrs see things very differently but I just thought i’d share.

I decided to use my own life experiences because before I kinda got distant with my bestfriend, I also highly doubted the ITS talk because I couldn’t understand how they could claim taekook grew a little distant in such a short amount of time and the way we all still saw them physically affectionate and close to each other just didn’t make sense to me then but I understood how things like that could happen after what happened with my bestfriend. I am aware that sometimes too we project without realizing it but the difference between me now and the me I was before the whole thing with my bestfriend is that now, I understand that sometimes, you don’t have to have an argument or fight or issue with someone you are really close to for distance to creep in. Sometimes the distance creeps in because of circumstances not necessarily in our control like life events, physical distance from each other and stuff like that. People sometimes very naturally grow apart without having any issues with each other and that is what I meant. My bestfriend and I are nothing like we used to be before but we still love and care about each other so much and will be there for each other if needed. Sometimes it is impossible to understand certain things unless we personally experience them. I could be wrong but I just see now how things like that are possible and this is something I couldn’t see or understand before because I had never experienced it or knew anyone who had.

About Jk and Jimin’s living situations that I mentioned earlier, these are some pictures I found.

https://x.com/koongelic/status/1497134143192600577?s=46

https://x.com/koongelic/status/1496106980360208385?s=46

https://x.com/jjksonyeondan/status/1477296197178114049?s=46

Some of these pictures are taken in Nine one. You can compare to Namjoon and Jimin’s apartments. When you add these to the timeline of Jikook sharing a car right until mid 2021 when Jimin bought the apartment, plus Jimin mentioning that he was with Jk at 4am on his birthday back in 2020 and jikook arriving late for the radio interview back in 2020 when all the members were out of the dorm already, it makes sense. Namjoon also spoke to Jk about a coffee shop that was infront of “their” house during one of their lives and there is a coffee shop right infront of Nine one which people guessed he was talking about.

I think the members shared rides depend on how close they live to each other, for example, Yoonjin have shared a car for the longest time because they live 5 minutes from each other so I guess it is convinient for one car to pick up members who live close than sending individual cars. Minimoni have been sharing a car since mid 2021, taekook too have shared cars since they don’t live far from each other and back in 2019 when Jk first had his first apartment in Hobi’s apartment complex (which he has now given to his brother) he shared a car with Hobi for sometime too.

I feel like the ITS talk is forever going to be a very confusing topic for so many people and I can honestly see why some people would have doubts about it as I did too until I came to realize that human relationships and dynamics are very complex. Nothing is a one size fits all and as much as many people try to think they know everything, there is always some context or information we are missing which might put things more into perspective. I guess so many think that distance could only come with two people having fights or disagreements and that when this distance comes, there would always be noticeable physical distance as well but this isn’t always the case because sometimes we just outgrow certain people at certain points of our lives or just naturally grow apart from them maybe because we are on different wavelengths or just cannot relate to each other anymore as we used to. My bf and I got distant because we were both on very different wavelengths and in completely different spaces that we couldn’t relate to each other anymore. Does this mean we lost the love we had for each other, no but that emotional bonding which came from being able to completely relate to and understand each other just isn’t there as much. Maybe one day we would get back on the same frequency as I believe Taekook did and only get closer than ever. Same thing happens in romantic relationships too and even marriages when at certain points you just feel yourself getting so distant from your partner that it almost feels like you don’t really know each other anymore.

Anyways, just thought I should mention that I didn’t mean anything bad with my previous ask and just wanted to explain things further but we don’t have to agree on things because as I said, I could be wrong and also sometimes it is impossible for people to understand things if they haven’t personally experienced them. Thanks for being so nice in your response and I appreciate the concern❤️

Hi again!

I think the problem some have with this, is that while you say you are a newer fan, you also make it come across as though your ideas have not been influenced by others. As a newer fan (and I am also relatively new, nothing wrong with that) we do rely on certain influences from others. The points you used before to argue your case, come from a certain side of fandom.. and we can see that, because we've seen it before. Now to you, those might seem neutral takes, but they are not. When you say for instance "I remember..." while talking about something that happened in 2018.. you don't actually remember that time and what the vibe was like.. you remember watching the footage and the vibe you felt during that time. There is a difference there that should be acknowledged. When you talk about all the rides Jkk shared.. you most likely remember people (accounts, blogs) mentioning that, because you cannot have witnessed it yourself. And I don't mean to say that Jkk sharing rides wasn't true.. I mean to point out that you are biased (as am I ofcourse) and that Tkkrs who were around during 2016 have a different recollection of how the vibes were. From what it looks like to us is that you do not weigh Tkkrs opinions and accounts as heavily as you do accounts of other sides of fandom. Having multiple angles is important, but when we show reasons as to why we disagree.. all too often our ideas are just set aside as 'delusional' when the actual footage is literally just there.

I do understand what you mean when you talk about people drifting apart naturally without there having been actual issues. The thing with the ITS talk though, is that it's heavily implied that there was an issue that they had to work through. It's even said that things were almost back to how they used to be. It implies that a certain level of friendship should be met, which is weird. I think the ITS talk was something they used to make sense of why things looked weird before, and why they were about to change.

I think there is a lot that point to Tae and Jk still having been close on many different levels during 2016-2020 and beyond. A lot has to do with the looks of understanding they shared, but things like that are hard to point out with a single picture or vid. A few examples of what I feel speaks to their continuous closeness though:

2016:

2017:

Not an indication of closeness perse, but certainly one of attraction..

Borrowing this from Kayla (@taekooktimeline).

Jk rushing past people to walk next to Tae and holding his hand.

2018:

Yoongi's text to Tae and Jk and the way they all responded to that..

Tae himself saying that Jk listens to him when he's troubled and gives advice.

Jk wanting Tae to room with him in Malta and the way they sleep.

2019:

Besides the obvious closeness in the season greetings footage, this is quite something to say about someone.

This very confusing live in which it does become clear that at least Tae thought they were sharing a room. And during which it also seems Tae did not actually leave.

Also... a very strong year for physical closeness and magnetism.

Jk pointing at Tae.

2020:

As far as bodylanguage goes.. this cannot be more obvious. This is not two people being distant but still feeling close enough to cuddle. This is Jk being protective and comforting to Tae.

Overall, I think 2020 shows a care and connection between Tae and Jk that is undeniable. Jk's awareness of Tae and the way he was feeling is huge. The whole year leading up to the ITS talk shows moments of connection. Of them clinging to each other. It's absolutely possible that something felt off, because of the way Tae had been feeling... but that had nothing to do with their closeness I believe.

[singto-prachaya]

Did I make a banner specifically for this post? Yes I did. This is a post to introduce you to Offroad Kantapon and Daou Pittaya who are currently starring in the BL Love In Translation. Get to know these two and their close soulmates bond through this post.

Let's start first with a short history lesson: Both participated in the survival show Lazicon (started airing October 9, 2021) and it was the first time they met each other. They became close in a short amount of time and you would often see them holding insta lives together. For a compilation of how they acted with each other during those lives as well as some Lazicon clips I made a fanvideo a while back. I never published it because it was just something I wanted to make for myself and one other person.

Now since the post will be long you can find the rest under the read more link.

One thing Offroad wanted during Lazicon was to perform in the final with Daou and some of his close friends from Insight Entertainment. This would have happened if Daou was fully recovered from having covid but he wasn't. So the performance was without him. Daou however was present through a video call. During a performance were all Lazicon contestants sung together Offroad looked at the screen, saw Daou and started crying. A timestamped video were you can see Offroad getting emotional.

Not in front of my salad! Straight to this point. If you watched my fanvideo or at least a part of it skinship between those two is pretty normal. However if you are contantly all over each other it can cause people to want you to get a room! Especially their band members. There is this behind the scenes clip of Rak Diao in which they made an appearance and check out the timestamped part. Watch for about 20 sec.

Close friends! Daou has some close friends. A couple were from Insight and they had no problem with spilling some tea sometimes. Frank who is now DVI said during a live with the boys and some other contestants "It looks like they are flirting". Daou is also close with Joong Archen and he also had some things to say. "What everyone sees is just a little bit. Joong saw a lot more than that". And he mentioned once how Daou has never taken care of someone like this before not even his close friends. Also during a live with Joong and Daou, Daou got called. Joong then was like "Who is calling? Is that handsome boy. The blond haired one".

The part with Joong starts at 1:45

Jealousy what's that? Anyone who has been in the fandom long enough knows how they talk to each other on twitter and IG. One thing is pretty clear, Daou doesn't like it when Offroad shows to much skin. And he will let it know pretty clearly. Ban hammer gifs, talking about how he has the full sized picture, trying to pull Offroad's shorts, you name it. When the trailer of Our Days was released Offroad appeared half naked in it a couple times and fans then took screenshots and put shirts on Offroad to cover him up. Atime26 even released an edited trailer with those shirts on twitter. The inpact! Most recently Offroad wore a shirt with tiny holes in it and Daou called it see through. And during a recent twitch stream of Daou a fan asked if they could buy a see through shirt for Offroad. They could, but fans can only look. Another recent jealousy example here!

Talking about each other! They talk a lot about each other. Good things but sometimes things can also get sad. I will start here around the time Daou posted that he had to go into the army (he had to enlist 1 November 2022). Offroad commented and said "Eat well. I wish you luck, no suffering, no call, no disease. 👏❤️ Send your heart to me. I love you so much. I will do my best here. Let's go". The last day before Daou's enlistment a podcast was posted by The Modernist with the Laz1 boys. There was also a written version and let me copy a part. One question that was asked was "Choose one person and tell him your innermost feelings".

Offroad: But if I want to talk to another person who is very special, that is, I want to talk about P'Wu. Because he was the only person in the group who saw me from the beginning. I want to say that my place is like this. What I want to say is that I want him to see that I'm getting better. (Crying so much that he couldn't breathe) I wanted to tell him that. I have been with him for a long time and he is another person who has fulfilled me to be here as well.

Offroad has said a couple times before that he felt like he was a burden to Daou because he felt like he wasn't good enough.

During the last day they also had last fanmeet. And when Daou grabbed the microphone to talk he put his arm around Offroad's shoulder. And then when he started talking Offroad broke down (video linked there).

And here someone made a tiktok about the enlistment.

They had to work in pairs after the first round in Lazicon and Daou picked Offroad.

Special person talk during EMF fandom live today.

Couple rings! Daou lied to Offroad and said his fanclub wanted to buy a ring so they needed Offroad's ring size. Turned out Daou wanted to buy couple rings. A fan found out it were Cartier rings worth 1500 euro's each. And Daou isn't even rich. During EMF fandom live today there was more couple rings talk.

This was for an interview with Mint Magazine. Full trans for the interview here. As a long term fan I was confused by their answer because for me it's always been a 10. Not sure how it could have gotten more.

Daou talking about how in BL series the characters at least have to love each other but that they don't have to force themselves since they already have a close relationship. Full interview here and you can use google trans on the webpage.

Couple song! Last part. Daou and Offroad's fandom name is Nubdao and they have a song called Nubdao which was written by them and which is about each other. Nubdao means counting the stars.

Translation of this song in a comment here

Edit: Since we have new people joining the fandom and not so nice comments have been made let me throw in a part of a interview they did for MayaTV this year as well some older statements made.

More than just a 'Ship'

Credit: yourstar_94

[gossipgirlgasoline]

gossip girl here, your one and only source into the ultra-rich, scandalous lives of race car drivers of formula 1.

hi loves! our first post!!!! ahhh!!!!! foremost, happy race week in australia! oscar piastri, daniel riccardo, and notably valtteri bottas’ home race, of course. its been such a hard week without racing hasn’t it?? i know it has been for me. thankfully, racing is back in melbourne for the weekend<3

before i start, if ur not into truly gossipy stuff— THIS IS NOT FOR YOU!! this will go into territory of wag gossip, silly rumours, and other cheesy stuff like that. you have been warned.

onto this weeks gossip !!!

everybody knows 18-year-old prodigy ollie bearman, who made his f1 debut with scuderia ferrari just two weeks ago in the scrupulous circuit that is the jeddah corniche circuit filling in for carlos sainz jr, sick from appendicitis. (hopefully this doesnt cause another chain of events like a certain driver whos number is 23, knock on wood) the academy driver started 11th on the grid and finished in the points, all the way to 7th, despite being such a hard circuit and also having very little experience with real formula 1 cars.

what not everybody knows about is his girlfriend, estelle— formerly silly_lettuce on all social media. truly, she is gorgeous. a picturesque couple, no?

estelle ogilvy langinier manning, (allegedly) is 21 years old law student out of london. the couple ‘hard launched’ from ollie’s instagram story a couple months ago. (picture is from his instagram) from the crumbs ive picked up from my dear friends on insta and tiktok, ollie is not the only racing driver she’s ever dated. ive been hearing through the grapevine that she dated f2 drivers zak o’sullivan since they were neighbours in the past and has also been with franco colapinto, confirmed(? texts could be fake) by herself through a message thread on instagram.

aside from racing drivers, there has been more rumors of her being with a guy from boy band, as well as a finance man.

with a simple instagram search of ‘sillylettuce,’ you will get a video credited to her old account with her alleged ‘finance boyfriend.’ this search will also get you this picture on the left, uploaded by downtown.chix in december of 2020.

left picture heaves largely compared to the right, taken from an archived picture from her now deactivated instagram account. 🫡

if we bring out search back around tiktok and do another search of silly lettuce, you’ll be met with a video from user sunnymonday on tiktok, going by the name india rawsthorn. the video is a trend from 2021 ‘rating my friends dance moves’

estelle earned herself a spot in the video, sporting a very different look than. 🤨🤨🤨🤨

this is estelle— India has many videos of estelle on her account

some people think its plastic surgery, maybe a drastic weight loss journey. whatever it might be, this isn’t the only thing that raises a couple eyebrows since thanks to the very intrigued people of the internet, we have since found out she started studying at durham uni in 2018. unless she is a young sheldon type prodigy who started college at 11, this would mean she is 24/25 now.

shortly after people started finding out, she ‘coincidentally’ got hacked. yikes!

*i can confirm this one is real— i saw it in real time😭

if you try to look her account on tiktok and instagram up now, nothing will pop up. mm.. following the discovery of her age, she immediately (allegedly) changed her information on linkedin. 🤔🤔🤔 how do you guys feel about this? i have a theory right here from one of my mutuals from twitter.

“Wooooww Estelle is really going down the road of saying that "we're obsessed"

her obsession is finding someone famous, and potentially rich to climb the social ladder of fame

I'm not trying to shame her about her plastic surgery, but it's obvious that some type of touchup was done and there's nothing wrong with that but I get the sense that she's trying to hide that she isn't all natural when in reality there has been something drastically done”

what’s your guy’s opinions? leave them below😘 my inbox is always open as well as my dms, so if u ever need to talk or want to chat about my posts, hmu! (tips are always accepted too)

until next time race-watchers, xoxo, gossipgirlgasoline

[perestroikan]

Watching Luca (2021) in movie theaters, 3 years after its initial release really invoked something in me.

When I was originally into the movie, it was a year after quarantine and so many shifts and changes were happening not only in my life, but in the world. This movie was there for me, and so was the fandom and the friends I made through it.

Now, I’m 18 and graduating school which felt like it was eons away when I was a huge fan of this movie.

I had forgotten some moments that still caught me by surprise years later. It was refreshing to meet these characters that held such importance to me once again after so many years in an empty movie theater. I think past me would’ve paid attention to every line, every motion, eye movement, and other details during the movie and made some tweet freaking out about it.

Now I get to have the pleasure to watch it for what it is, a kids movie.

The movie presents such a simple theme, exploring the unknown in life. The characters explore life on the surface, having never experienced anything of the sorts. It made me realize how much I had been taking for granted in life. Walking with the ground underneath my feet, tasting my favorite foods, learning about how the Earth spins, and having a family who supports my aspirations. I will now have a reminder in the back of my mind every time I find myself enjoying the simple aspects of life to not take them for granted.

However, another seemingly “simple” theme Luca presents is the theme of friendship. Luca Paguro only has two friends during this entire film, yet so much conflict emerges from this. What seems to be a simple task, to have one friend by your side, proves to be difficult even for kids. Luca and Alberto fight about what they want to get out of life, and conclude that it is impossible to be friends when you are too different from each other.

Surprisingly, the aftermath of the fight did not move me to tears or sadden me. (Don’t get me wrong, my jaw was open when Luca called Alberto a sea monster) I could relate to these kids, sometimes it’s hard to be friends with people who think too differently from you. I could find parts of myself in their positions countless times throughout my life. I would be like Luca, trying to physically do actions to ignite an alliance again. Or on the other hand, I’d be Alberto and blame myself for everything and not attempt to make amends by isolating myself.

Yet, the part that really moved me was when Alberto went back for Luca, who was pushing through the race to prove his loyalty to Alberto. Despite their several disputes, they’re still on each other’s sides. Despite their differences, they still love each other so much to the extent they’d endanger themselves for each other. Despite everything, they still would do anything for one another.

And as displayed in this dramatic gif above, they’d even leave each other for the other to be happy. It is clear throughout the movie Alberto has trouble detaching from Luca and has gone through a very dramatic event in his life regarding his dad abandoning him. Yet in the span of what I’m assuming is two weeks, Alberto meets Luca and his world is changed. He grows as a person, and learns to let the people he loves move away from him.

While one could argue Giulia’s dad is now Alberto’s new father, I’d still like to think Luca had such an affect on Alberto that he helped heal Alberto. This kid he just met had such a hold on him, he learned to be better because of his love for him.

The movie ends with a bittersweet finale. Luca moves away to the big city, attending school with his new friend Giulia to nourish his curiosity and new found love for learning. Alberto stays with Giulia’s dad in Portorosso, becoming a fisherman with him and enjoying the new routine to his life. They live separate lives without each other being there, but still find ways to include each other in their routines. They write letters, describe their new discoveries, and send gifts to each other. They find happiness in this settlement and anticipate the next time they can see each other.

When I left the movie theater and stood waiting for my ride outside in the wind, I felt like a hole had just opened in my chest.

I watched the branches and leaves shake in the wind, just like they did in the movie. I watched people walk by just like they did in the movie. Yet, there was some sort of feeling of envy in me.

I understood the movie’s themes, I understood I should be grateful, I understood it’s hard to navigate relationships. Yet, I was so jealous of these fictional characters getting to walk away with people who loved them so deeply. Something as simple as getting a rusty bike for their friend after winning a kid’s race made me feel so envious. I wanted the chance to prove my love for someone like that or to be the one receiving such admiration.

The last time I watched this movie being 3 years ago, nothing has changed between then and now. I still haven’t found my Luca or Alberto.

And I know, it sounds like I have no friends or I’m not thankful for them. I do have friends and I am extremely grateful for them, but it’s only once in a lifetime are you going to find someone who connects with you as much as those two did. Someone who heals you the way those two did. Someone who stays by your side, no matter your differences ,the way those two did. I’d hate to rush something like that, but I’ve been waiting for the past 3 years for someone to see me the way they saw each other.

Of course, the whole gay-sea monster identity parallel definitely comes into play here. But instead of having someone there to love your identity and understand you, it feels like I’m wanted dead for $300,000 dollars for who I am, like they were at the start of the movie. And also, the city’s population is the population of America.

Although I have been dragging my old age through out this sad movie review/diary entry, I am 18! I am graduating! I will be able to explore a new and different surface above the water that is college without anyone knowing my real identity. I’ll discover new things about the world and myself without anyone holding me back.

Though, I know I cannot rush these things and I won’t find my person the first day of college. I’ll have to wait patiently and trust that destiny connects me with the person I need at the time I’ll need them most.

However, a part of me hopes that one day, I’ll be able watch this movie with my own Luca or Alberto by my side.

OVERALL? GREAT MOVIE! 10/10 I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!

[ramayantika]

A goodbye needed

From being born in Hyderabad to living in the northern part of India, that is Gurgaon and then the Western side, Maharashtra to Vishakhapatnam in the south and finally in the eastern states of Chhattisgarh, West Bengal, and Odisha, I do get to say that I covered eighteen years of my life in the four main directions of India. But my favourite city has and will always be Kolkata.

To be honest, my brother desperately wanted to live in Kolkata because of Eden Gardens in our GK book. I wasn't that interested until I arrived in Kolkata in 2016 to appear for the written test in my school. The exam went well and so did the interview. I remember my father lived in a small bachelor's one room apartment in Ruby Park. My eleven year old eyes were stunned as they took in the grandeur of the old buildings from the British era to the modern metros and malls of Kolkata. When I came back to Raipur, all I knew was Kolkata would be life changing for me.

And in 2017, I did come home. To Kolkata. A small roadside apartment facing a canal where you don't have crystal clear water but drainage water. Somehow the water wasn't stinky until the arrival of the monsoon showers. I lived there from 2017 to 2020. I was supposed to stay there until 2022 but fate had other plans but that's a story for another day.

I always call Kolkata home even though I am from Odisha. It was the only city that embraced all shades of me. I spent the first two years of my teenage there. The damp roads leading to my apartment have heard my songs above sweet love and true friendship. On quiet midnights, my tiny balcony knew the whispers of my soul, and the questions it asked about fate and the world. The monsoon rainfall told me how to appreciate nature and beauty. I learnt to dance with storms, and dream of stories that I now write and desperately wish to be a part of.

I met a teacher who told me in a tone akin to a whisper in front of the class that I am like a small pandora box, hidden from view but having the most wonderful and beautiful things to offer the world. The next month I danced for a school event and God since then I never looked back. Kolkata connected my soul to literature and culture.

I am no longer in Kolkata but each time my calendar notifies Rabindranath Thakur's jayanti, my heart goes to the old tunes of Rabindra sangeet; the beauty and tenderness of his songs that captured my heart and caused me to spill some of my poetry in the last page of my rough notebook.

I visited kolkata again in December 2021 after first term examinations of class twelve. My connection with kolkata broke like a plant uprooted from its soil. It felt as if I had been banished from home. All the months that passed, and all the seasons that changed showed me memories and dreams of what could have been in kolkata. But when I visited kolkata, I saw how some things had changed.

My home appeared....... different? I always say that my young soul blossomed in Kolkata. The same soul turned sad at the emotion that the city showed me. Perhaps that's how growing up is. To see that things around you change, people, roads, hearts everything but somewhere there still lies a calling that says, 'hey, I know things are different. But I am still here. Look at me, embrace the new me. Embrace yourself. You are changing too.'

Where it once used to be wonder, nostalgia filled my heart as I met my friends after two years. I passed through my apartment again and smiled at the balcony, my small corner for solitude. I saw a few towels hanging there.

Going back from Kolkata felt a little sad. I could not accept the change. I had been uprooted from my roots, and when I come back I see new flowers springing up. Without me?

Then after a year, I visited Kolkata again in July 2023. I had grown so had the city. When I passed by the same British era buildings and Howrah bridge, the same wonder struck my soul. I saw a few flowers growing on the pathway, getting their nourishment from the July showers. The empty space in my heart too was filled with flowers. My friends who are now in their respective colleges, doing their own things with their own friend circles now but somehow we come together. Just like old days before.

Home is always home no matter how far you go or how long you stay away from it. Home will always welcome you back. The fragrance of wet earth filled my soul with a warm blanket, as if telling me that all this while, I waited for you. I am different but I am still your friend.

Era sukher laagi chahe prem, prem mele na.

Shudhu sukh chole jaye emoni mayar cholona

This song will always remind me of Kolkata, the warm monsoon nights that were filled with a longing of love, friendship and magic. It will take me back to dreams and whispers of a fantasy that my heart still believes in that I would one day bring forth the wonder and beauty of my Self to the world. It will remind me that there must be tender days to be spent in reading poetry on a cool evening.

The day I boarded the train to Durgapur, my heart hummed the tune of Era Sukher Lagi from Choker Bali. As the train left the station, I waved at my young self through the window. It was farewell. I would come home later for my dance work, a thread that shall tie me to this wonderful city forever but I would never come home this way ever again and for the first time I was happy. And perhaps to witness an end to a heartwarming journey of nostalgia, acceptance to change and farewell, the clouds showered rainfall against the window just like the cool monsoon nights years ago.

All was well....

[crescentbea02]

"Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me" pt. 1 (Timeskip!Oikawa x fem! reader)

Tropes: second chance romance, long distance, friends to lovers, right person wrong time, ex-relationship,

Summary: In which Oikawa Tooru finds himself forecefully reviving memories in a flight for Japan, in hopes to reecounter with the one person that has him on a chokehold even after six years apart.

Part 1: here

ハイキュー

Some say that time heals all wounds. That the hands of the clock smooth the skin, that spread peace over our body, the peace of passing time. Saying goodbye to our phases, living in peace with what we once were, with what we once had.

Oikawa was a firm believer in that. He was a strong person, he had always been a strong person. A person too strong for this world, who seemed to take whatever trick the universe played on him. He didn't think anything else was going to make him collapse to the ground other than his ambitions. Or rather the lack of them.

His ambitions, his goals, his dreams were always in the first place for him. That was why so many girls had already dumped him for it. For being in a constant competition between them and the great love of his life, volleyball.

Oikawa always wanted more, he always wanted to go higher. He was a wild horse without dominance. A current of a winter wind. He was never satisfied. He always wanted more and more. And if for that he had to be alone, without serious commitments to any person, no matter how much he liked her, he would do it.

That was what he thought until he met Y/N.

“Tooru” a voice sounded.

An empty suitcase on top of his bed was enough to make his heart sink. The boy, now twenty-five, turned towards the doorway of his room. A small smile painted his face when he saw Emma, ​​his current girlfriend, in his doorway.

She looked at the mess of clothes, sneakers and towels on top of the player's bed with a mischievous smile.

“What is going on?” she asked, walking into the room with a raised eyebrow.

What wasn't going on would be easier to answer.

Over the years, Oikawa has shaped itself on its own terms. He continued to fight, to work, until he ended up where he was now. An Olympic champion, playing for the Argentine national team, with so many trophies that not even the shelf could fit. It was what he deserved, after so many years of being spurned, if there was one thing he deserved was that. Now he had Emma, ​​a beautiful model he had met at a company conference, in his life. The two were fine, there were no arguments or dramas, no crying, no passion.

But how unfair was the world, he still was not satisfied.

“I look so good in so many clothes that I can’t seem to decide which ones to take” he gave her one of his playful smiles, those smiles that everyone complained about how annoying they were.

Every piece of clothing strewn across the bed seemed to be a reason why his heart was squeezing with every minute that brought him closer to the moment he would land in Japan. Argentina was his home now, but part of his heart would always be buried in Japanese soil. Mainly because of all her favorite people who lived there. But he hadn't visited him for a couple of years, and the times he did go it was just for a few days to spend time with his family. Oikawa had games to win, training to do, in Argentina.

Imagine his surprise when his national team coach announced a supposed season in a foreign country for one of the players. All eyes were on Oikawa, and he quickly felt his heart drop when he realized that they would be spending some time in Japan to train for the 2021 Olympics. some time in the country, even if it was a thank you gift for Oikawa's effort.

Such news led Oikawa to immediately call Iwaizumi, who pretended to be extremely irritated with the fact that, very possibly, he had to put up with his friend in all his training sessions, teasing his players and upsetting everyone. The thing Oikawa knew how to do best in addition to his services. But he knew that Iwaizumi would be happy to see him. He always was, despite trying to hide it.

This ended up causing Iwaizumi to send him some high school photographs that he had found in the bedroom of his old house.

And one of them was the same one he kept in his bedside table drawer. Another reason why the various relationships he had in Argentina did not last long.

A picture of him and his high school girlfriend. Y/N L/N. What for many was seen as a puppy love, for Oikawa it had been much more than that. It had been proof of how his ambitions would always trump the person he was with. Even if he loved that person even more than he loved himself.

It looked like she haunted him. From the moment he left on that plane, she had never left his mind. No matter how hard he tried to get her to leave.

“Let me help you choose” Emma smiled, with her sweet smile that lit up an entire room. He approached the bed full of clothes and began to choose the clothes that Oikawa liked the most, and that best suited him “Look, these ones will look good with you in Japan. Don’t forget it’s cooler there” she held a sweater and struck him with her playful eyes.

Oikawa laughed.

“I just wish I could take everything” he said, in a nervous tone “Japan is my home, but Argentina slowly also became it.” he took one of his favorite jeans and fold them along with Emma “I’m afraid it will be those situations when you feel like nowhere feels at home anymore.”

“It won’t be” Emma answered, on her usual serene, mature and understanding voice "Some people don't even have one home. Be grateful that you belong to two places at the same time. If you don’t have one, you always have the other”

That wasn't really what worried him. After all, Oikawa had always believed that his home is what he made it.

What worried him was the deliberate choice he was going to make, which was to talk to someone who had been his home after six years of not even saying a word to her. But even so, he still felt her inside him.

And it was his fault, no one else's.

When the fateful day of the trip arrived, Oikawa didn't know if he loved or hated airplanes.He always loved space. He loved anything that did not have limits. But he hated feeling helpless. At any moment the plane could crash, and he wasn't going to be able to do anything about it.

With his head leaning against the window, he looked up at the starry night sky. That sky that reminded him so much of his youth. He thought about what would happen when he saw his friends again. He knew nothing ever changed, but it still made him a little nervous to imagine awkward silences and not the chaotic energy that used to happen whenever they met.

And he kept thinking of Y/N.

In his innocent nineteen-year-old mind, in a faraway country, building his future alone, after breaking up with his girlfriend of two years. With the one person who made him question his love of volleyball.

Oikawa chose his dreams over her, and he knew Y/N would never blame him for it. She didn't blame him so much that, even after that, she insisted that they remain friends.

At the time Oikawa thought she had been selfish. If Y/N could perfectly live her life in Japan, talking to him every day, just like a friend, which he no longer could remember what it was like, he couldn't. The distance, the time apart, only made him love her even more. He saw her everywhere he went. As soon as he saw a (y/h/c) hair his heart filled with hope that maybe it was she, in a sudden impulse of passion, who had come to visit him.

But it wasn't her.

It was never her.

A year went by, and Oikawa couldn't look at any woman he met without thinking about Y/N, how much he wanted her to be with him. How much he should be talking to her on the phone, that she must already be worried because he hadn't said anything in some weeks. Then, they always found that photograph in the drawer. And then they left the house, unintentionally hurt by him.

He thought that time would heal the wounds, that the hands of the clock would soften his skin, that they would spread peace over his body, the peace of passing time. Saying goodbye to his phases, living in peace with what he once was, with what he once had.

Because of this, Oikawa decided to give Y/N a break. And pretend that she didn't exist, or that she never existed. Maybe if he pretended she didn't exist, he would eventually forget about her existence. A decision that now, at twenty five years old, made him want to bang his head on the wall with the stupidity of his thinking.

But, after all, he was only twenty years old. And what does a person know at twenty?

“Good evening, would you like some snacks, sir?” one of the hostesses asked.

Oikawa slowly returned to real life. He took his brown eyes from the window and faced the hostess with a smile.

“Some milk bread, please”

ハイキュー

some silly idea I thought of. i crave for second chance romance. pt 1 of maybe 3 parts. i hope you liked it <33

[kylieswift31]

Lucky

Beginning to think it’s time to branch out from listening to just Taylor Swift because I just listened to ‘lucky’ by Halsey for the first time and I’ve never heard anything so incredibly validating.

I've been chronically ill for over six years now with ME/CFS and I had settled into a state of plateau where my symptoms were fairly manageable. Earlier this year with a few big live events outside of my control, I entered into my biggest relapse since 2021 and became bed bound again. Listening to Taylor Swift became my lifeline and the online community that came with that has helped ease some of the isolation that comes with being too unwell to leave the house.

Here's a glimpse into why Halsey's song 'lucky' has resonated with my experience with a chronic illness.

"I am so lucky"

Variants of this comment are so often thrown around by friends and family when they hear that I stay at home all day. It's something they would love to be able to do, but show no consideration for the chronic pain and fatigue I experience while staying home that takes up most of my day.

"Everybody, get in line to meet the girl who flew too high. Who does it all just to be liked by strangers that she met online."

I had my first big relapse during the Victorian lockdowns when everyone was home at the same time. This time around it feels like everyone's moved on and I'm stuck here all alone. When I felt completely isolated from the outside world I began watching the eras tour on grainy live streams, and then joining this online community and contributing my own thoughts became integral to feeling like I was a little less alone.

"Did it all to be included, my self-loathing so deep-rooted. Inner child that's unrecruited, truth is I'm not suited for it."

I spent years trying to push through the pain to attend events in an attempt to fit in, just to end up worse off and in more pain than ever. Having to choose between what's best for my physical health and mental health is an impossible decision. Being able to leave the house once a week was the most I could manage without overdoing it.

"When I die, I won't have time to spend my money. But I hope that you still love me."

Everyone has an opinion when you get sick. And then everyone has an opinion when you don't get better. They're also going to have an opinion when you die. It's hard to believe the positive opinions when the negative ones are so loud.

"'Cause I'm so lucky, I'm a star. But I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin' "If there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?""

The references to the early 2000's in this song add a layer of familiarity to the present day. I feel like I'm sitting on my bedroom floor listening to Britney Spears again and wondering what the future holds. Who will I be when I grow up? When the nostalgic memories begin to fade and the pain of the present day begins to seep back in.

"Why they come? Why they come? Why they come? Why they come?"

If you don't see how much pain I'm in, then why do I still feel it? If I'm in chronic pain and no one acknowledges it, then why does it hurt so much?

"And why she losing so much weight? I heard it's from the drugs she ate."

When pain and fatigue take over your life, just being able to eat is a feat in itself. All the "but have you tried..." comments don't take into account how little you have left to invest time, money and energy into the latest craze promising a (snake oil) cure.

"And I feel her, but I can't relate. 'Cause I'd never end up in that state."

When you get sick you go to the doctor and they make you better, right? It doesn't always work out that way, especially for women. Often just getting a diagnosis is a challenge. It's taken a lot of strength to acknowledge that I'm unlikely to recover. For the people in my life to acknowledge that too would require them recognising that the doctors don't have the answers for everything.

"A girl like that is a mother, must be tough. A problem child, I was rough."

Not being able to keep up with the typical activities other families participate in outside of school affects my ability to relate to the experiences of parenthood when I'm confronted with hearing about how much I'm missing out on. The gap between my lifestyle and theirs is too immense to feel anything other than jealousy right now.

"But what do you do with a difficult grownup?"

Ugh. Most of the time coping mechanisms are a necessity. I'm sure I don't have to remind you what the alternative is? It's incredibly invalidating when the majority of the judgemental comments I hear are a criticism of the small things I choose to do on my good days.

"When I die, I won't have time to spend my money. But I hope that you still love me."

At some point we need to take a step back and let other people make their own mistakes. On the worst days it feels like I'm one more bad day away from giving up. Having something positive to focus on (like the eras tour) gives me something to look forward to each week.

"'Cause I'm so lucky, I'm a star. But I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin' "If there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?"

When you get sick and don't get better it feels like everyone's comparing your condition to the worst case scenario. Exclaiming that "at least it's not cancer!" and how you're so lucky because you're not going to die from it, while ignoring how the alternative path to death has alarmingly high rates within the community.

"I shaved my head four times because I wanted to, and then I did it one more time ‘cause i got sick."

I shaved my hair off a few years ago because I'd always wanted to try it, but I shaved it off again when I relapsed because I needed to. Last time I was bed bound I struggled to wash my hair. This time I was proactive and shaved it off so it was one less hurdle to deal with. Making choices like this proactively was empowering.

"And I thought I changed so much, nobody would notice it, and no one did."

Having to stay home and not leave the house at all has been a mammoth change for me, but to everyone else nothing has changed. When nobody sees me on my worst days, they assume my good days are the norm and not the exception.

"And I left the doctor’s office full of tears"

I stopped going to the doctors because I was crying in the car on the way home after every single appointment. After struggling to even get a diagnosis they say there's nothing else they can do to help, when they didn't do anything to help in the first place. Having a condition with no approved treatment doesn’t help. Slowly I managed on my own and made progress without the extra stress.

"Became a single mom at my premiere, and I told everybody I was fine for a whole damn year, and that’s the biggest lie of my career."

It feels like all I do is deflect questions about my life to avoid the negative comments and mask the pain. When I do try and share my experiences I'm met with pity or told to try harder. No wonder the challenges I face feel invisible.

"But I’m so lucky, I’m a star, and I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin’, if there’s nothin’ missin’ in my life, then why do these tears come at night."

What most people don't understand is that ME/CFS is ranked as having one of the lowest quality of life scores. Even the milder categories are incredibly debilitating. If I'm so lucky, why does it feel like the world has moved on without me and I'm left behind?

"I’m so lucky, I’m a star, but I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin’, if there’s nothin’ missin’ in my life, then why do these tears come at night."

Going to be listening to this song on repeat for a while. Art like this is integral to counter the negativity and make the hard days a little less invisible.

"She’s so lucky, she’s so lucky, she’s so lucky, she’s so, haven’t you heard."

Everyone has their own battles to face. You never know when you’re interacting with someone who’s trying to hold it together while hanging on by a thread.

To conclude I’ll leave you with my favourite quote from the folklore long pond studio session x

"No one pats them on the back, but every day they are actively fighting something. But there are so many days that nobody gives them credit for that. And so how often must someone who's in that sort of internal struggle must want to say to everyone in the room, you have no idea how close I am to going back to a dark place. Or you have no idea how hard it is to get to the point where you guys think is still shitty."

-Taylor Swift and Jack Antanoff

[inzaghisgirlfriend]

Rewatch!

Step into a time machine with me, if you will, and let it whisk us back to March of 2021.

Simpler times, then, n'est ce pas? We're but a year into a global pandemic, and I am clinging by a thread to my sanity and, without knowing it, mere weeks away from my first covid vaccine and the freedom and return to normalcy it will immediately and entirely provide* (spoiler, this did not pan out 100%).

I have joined twitter, as one does, out of desperation, because tumblr is a dumpster fire everyone is fleeing from for a site that isn't being ruined by a poorly-effectuated rebranding, unchecked hate, weird algorithm issues, and corporate nickel and diming. Funny how those things come full circles sometimes...

There, as here, I am following a lovely person who makes exceptional gifsets and has extraordinary taste in television (ifykyk). Her timeline has begun to fill with odd gifs of besuited and beautiful Korean people and otherwise context-free shouts into the void like "sexy lawyers" and "murder hornets!!"

Understand that, while it seems insane now that I've watched roughly 40 and would have to physically restrain myself from doing something embarrassing should I meet the man, there was once a time in my life when I had never watched a Korean drama nor even heard of Song Joong Ki.

As time goes by, though, my terror and confusion on twitter give way instead to a persistent feeling of intrigue and envy.

Because I realize there is a lot of shouting. And amongst other people with exceptional taste. I have been trapped in my house with the same people and walls and 8 meals and 23 minute walk around the block I'd seen and done and lived for the last year. So the appeal of disappearing through the tv to a place with hot people dressed up nice in a place I'd never thought much about before grew and grew. Even if there's trained murder hornets there.

So I open a shady-ass site with a seriously committed ad server Netflix on my phone and curl up and watch, stunned, the absolute best fucking 20 minutes of any TV intro I've ever fucking seen.

We're now nearly 3 years beyond that point, and I've met exceptionally interesting and funny and brilliant people and seen the most gorgeous gifsets and fanart you can imagine and read a ridiculous amount of fanfic (and written perhaps a little here and there, give or take 750,000 words) and headcanoned every possible scenario you can imagine and even flew to the other side of the world and stood in the middle of Seoul, not only amidst the pigeons of 'Geumga Plaza', but also between the parted legs of a building-high cutout of Song Joong Ki.

But I've never, ever rewatched the show in its entirety from start to finish.

So, with that in mind, away we go. A second time.

[viewsbourg]

Breaking the silence ( Shinybeyzer / Mc )

⚠disclaimer⚠

Do not witch hunt or harass shinybeyzer / shinymc / any other aliases they go under . Many things I will claim later on in the post can only be alleged as a lot of evidence has been lost from the deletion of my old discord account ( 0rbrot#5083 ) , their deletion of their old blog ( Shinymc ) , and their deletion of the current blog ( Shinybeyzer ) . this post will contain passages about manipulation , emotional abuse , and mentions of suicide and self harm . Everything detailed below is my own experience and it may vary between people

TLDR at the bottom

this will be the last time I talk about this unless this somehow manages to outrage me more . but I feel like this whole ' goodbye letter ' is just the pure embodiment of manipulation .

Here is their final letter to me .

it starts off by guilt tripping me , ' you can block me ' as well as the later part where ONCE AGAIN they assume that I hate them , or that I'll forget about them .

guess what ? I'm never forgetting you . I would never forget someone who manipulated me for 4 years and drove me near insanity just from the sheer amount of times I needed to repeat that fact . Then gauging the fact that I " sent her away " as if I hadn't warned them hundreds of times that I would cut them off if they kept going .

Then they pull the sympathy card . " I won't hate you " . No shit , you're right , you have no reason to , I'm not the one who made your life the way it is , I'm not the one who enabled it either . The reason the truth hurt so much is because you're living in god damn denial . the truth hurts , yes , but if you never face it , you'll only keep digging your grave .

once again , assuming I'll be outraged . that I'll ask them to never talk to me again . Basically just saying this to ask me to prove them wrong , but you know what ? you're right this time . Never talk to me ever again .

and finally , they definitely weren't the bad person in this situation , see ! they're wishing me happy pride month ! ! how sweeeeeeeet ! ! ! /s .

Sorry , the first part was rather emotional . But I've got a lot of things I want to provide now that this person has left tumblr , again .

it's rather hard to provide withstanding evidence for emotional manipulation , as it is a gradual thing and difficult to prove with as few screenshots , but I'll still try my best .

I've been friends with Shiny since late 2019 ( 4 years ) , we met through the AF / PR community ( now Stars Align ) On discord , most messages still being there , mostly being a relatively positive friend ship until 2021 ( below ) where they were chased out of the community for being hyper - sensitive to jokes and criticism and not being willing to listen to others ( will bring up later ) .

before long , I was greeted with a long message detailing about how I was their only friend left , and how much they loved me and needed me in those trying times . Unfortunately I have no evidence to provide so feel free to not believe me on this one .

Our relationship turned sour quick as we'd argue regularly . I set my boundaries straight and refused to blindly accept them without criticizing them for their actions at the time . this continued on relatively often but I never paid mind to it . but it only got significantly worst .

Their manipulation tactics :

they will claim that they have suicidal thoughts and need your help

they will claim nobody else accepts them , they will bash themselves for their looks and / or state of being ( unemployed , living with parents )

they will claim that they have no other friends despite being them having many readily available to use as a speaking vessel whenever you intend to block them

A lot of evidence for the claims above have been unfortunately lost from our earlier conversations and may not be evident at first , once again , i apologize for being unable to provide full proof for all of my claims .

All these actions are used to gauge your sympathy , or to pity you into caring . If you do not reciprocate , they will :

They will exaggerate your words . ( ex : We should stop being friends ➞ You hate me and want me to die )

They will assume that you dislike them because of X reason ( their words : being ugly , having no friends , etc .)

Double down and claim to go cry , self harm or kill themselves .

They will ignore your points in favor of the above .

their selfishness : Shiny is an incredibly selfish person , even if you are there in their time of needs , they won't treat you better than a stranger . Despite the superficial amount of support they give you , they don't want to treat you like a person with their own thoughts , or even care about what others need / want .

[ These conversations happened while I delayed a roleplay mission from a discord server I and friends created to roleplay fighting missions . They god mad that I wasn't willing to upload the mission until the members of the group got a hang of the concept of role playing , as some were new to it ]

[ Below : this is just childish ]

3 . they will never change .

They might tell you that they're in a horrible position , and that they're way of living everyday on their phone is bad , but don't let that fool you , they don't want to change .

Despite telling you they're changing or that they've changed , their behavior has remained the same for the 4 years I knew them . You might say " ooh well , changing these fundamental and integral parts about oneself is quite difficult and requires a lot of willpower " . That's true ! That is difficult . But you know what's not ? Working 20h a week

Despite this , you might tell yourself that you can still help them . Put their life back together , fix them , even . But I'm sorry . I have not observed any change in their behavior except for short moments where they act nicer while still making excuses to avoid changing .

Miscellaneous :

Things that belong a bit everywhere .

[ Below : refusal to change ]

[ Below : " Evil Self " ]

[ Below : Sheer breakdown and respectful response . ]

[ Below : " They go easy on me , but you don't " , referring to how I told them to get help . ]

TLDR : Shiny is a selfish , manipulative , abusive , controlling , lazy and childish 23 year old . And from my experience , they only need friends to justify themselves and validate their actions blindly . They do not desire to change despite constantly insulting themselves for the way they are . And finally , they manipulate and emotionally abuse their friends for the benefits without reciprocating the feelings in any meaningful way beyond telling you so .

But actions speak louder than words . And so far , I've only heard silence .

hello ! this is possibly the only edit i will make in regards to this situation , since theyve returned and my post has gotten a lot more attention . i posted this edit in reposts but i'd also like to add it here for simplicity's sake

the edit :

I honestly believe the original post is outdated , and written in a time where i was incredibly upset and hadn't yet had time to process any of it .

Though most of it still stands true , I want to stress that this was my personal perspective of my situation at the time . I never got to detail a lot of other things since at the time I just cobbled whatever I could to try to Express my frustration .

If you can , please find other sources as well to form a more conclusive opinion of the matter .

As well , my post / this thread will only ever detail what's happened between me and her during the years 2019 - 2023 . I do not wish to interact with them further . I also will not be updating it since it's no use digging something from the grave , if they say theyve changed , use your personal judgement for that , not information I have to provide that dates months if not years old .

As well as well , do not harass anyone who associates with shiny either . People are entitled to their own decision so being friendly with shiny is absolutely none of your business .

( added from original ) I'd also like to express that you should be allowed to want to be friends with shiny , but please be mindful of the way they interact with you , do not feel obligated to stay their friend just because of XYZ . A friendship should be mutual , one where both benefit , you should feel equally valued as how much you value shiny . if you feel like you are only getting frustrated , or feel unable to help them no matter what you do , its okay to tell them when you want to end it on the spot .

Thank you !

[katiascraft]

[ when you're gone ]

e!van peters x female reader (y/n)

Plot: Evan's response to y/n's letter that she left on his scripts when she flew back home. Evan's perspective.

Warnings: nonproof read. This is pure fluff.

Listen while reading: what falling in love feels like.

Note: heyyyy I report myself happy as ever because I saw harry live last night 😭 and I hope you like this! I did one similar from y/n's perspective and you can find it here. Enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------

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i was going through some work papers stuff on my kitchen table. Y/n left to go home two days ago. She lives in new york city and i live in Los Angels while i'm working. And that's exactly what I'm doing right now.

It was late at night. Around 2:32 am to be exact. My insomnia got worse so I decided to entertain myself reading some lines and trying to improve my character. Going through the papers I stumble upon an envelope. It was green. Like green apple green. I new immediately that it was from y/n. It's her favorite color. I smiled like stupid. It's been only two days and I already miss her like crazy. Sometimes my chest aches and I start crying. I didn't know I was so into this connection we have until I was crying at her door, desesperated because I missed her like crazy that August of 2021.

I took the envelope and realized it was a letter. I almost cried when I opened it and saw her beautiful handwritting. The paper had her perfume. My favorite smell.

Yeah, I know. I'm way over heels for her. And I love it.

I started reading it. I forgot about everything else I was doing. And I just felt my heat bomb so much blood. It started racing. She always have this effect on me.

Her words. So sweet. So exact. I could feel her talking these to me right here right now. I just needed to write her back. I felt like I had to because I was already crying. I love her so much I don't even know how to explain it. Don't know how to put it into words. I don't even know how to express it. But I'll do my best to tell her every single little detail of the love I have for her while I can.

Dear y/nickname,

I can't believe how talented you are with words. That's one of the things I love about you. The way you say things, so yours, so sweet and exact.

You know I'm no good with words but I'll try my best like always do. Because for you I'll do the craziest of things.

I'll start by saying I'm so grateful for you. Your presence and your company. The way you support me even when I commit mistakes all the time. The way you understand. The way you get what I mean even before I know it. And that's the most precious thing about our connection. Sometimes I feel like we can read each other's minds and it is unexplainable.

And the fact I can help you with your mental health... That makes me so happy. All I want for you is to be loved the way you love people. You're so gentle. So open and empathetic. Your heart is bigger than the tallest building in the world. I've never met someone like you in my life. So pure in so many ways. It doesn't matter you believe you are broken. To me you are just perfect. I wouldn't love you more if you were different.

I want you to embrace that. That is your beauty and one of the main reasons I fell in love with you. You are so you, so yours without even realizing it. I admire you baby. So much. I really wanna hug you right now.

You are so important to me. I hate distance. I hate our worlds sometimes can not collide even when we want to. I know life and love aren't supposed to be easy but I would love to be with you right now. You sliding your fingers through my hair while we hug tightly like every night. Those simple moments are my favorites.

Don't lose your light baby. In two weeks I'll be home for Christmas and everything will be as perfect as we planned. I promise that. And we both hate promises but with you I kind of started understanding why people make promises. It just makes sense. Because I wanna make you the happiest human being in the world.

I don't know when this letter is gonna get to you. I've never sent a letter to anyone before. But I hope it gets before I get home.

I love you y/n. With my whole heart. With my whole psychic just like you always say.

See you soon baby.

- Evan

When I finished writing I didn't read it again. I just wanted it to be organic. Everything that went through my head and heart is there.

She is the love of my life. And all of these details she has with me always get me.

Tomorrow I'll deliver it to the post office. Now, I'm going to call her. I need to hear her voice.

------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you all enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day people <3

[bimney424]

On this day, 8 years ago, a group of nerdy ass voice actors took their DnD home game & aired it for the first time on Twitch. A game that spawned from a simple birthday request is now an international phenomenon that has hundreds of thousands of people watching live every Thursday, falling in love with characters that they can't let go of. Ever. No matter how much time passes. I didn't get into Critical Role until August of 2021, in the middle of campaign 2 & I cannot imagine just how boring my life would be without it. Because of Critical Role I am here typing this out. Because of Critical Role, I found myself in the world of DnD as a fan, as a player & as a DM. A crazy ass game that I fell in love with from my very first dice roll. Because of Critical Role I learned (am still learning) to make dice & dice trays. Because of Critical Role, I have found some amazing ass artists whose work blow my mind every time. Have read some incredible fanfics that have made me fall in love with characters all over again. I have met some of the best people in the world who have become very close friends & couldn't imagine my life without them. @lyricalporcupine @uncagedrage @therapybard @lyrahhipnos @queerentitties @jtr-99 @louloutche & others. Thank you all for being part of this with me. This silly little show that in the beginning they never thought would become anything is one of the best things I have ever experienced. I am forever grateful that Liam wanted to play DnD for his birthday & that he found the right people to keep playing with. I am forever grateful for these eight amazing nerdy ass voice actors for allowing us to be part of their game & allowing up to be part of this incredible journey each & every episode. Thank you & Happy 8th Anniversary.

[ufonaut]

i already thought the miracle of alan scott’s story in dc pride 2021 wasn’t the kind of thing that could easily be repeated because it’s such a right people, right place, right time sort of deal and so necessary for alan as a character and so completely aware of the person he’s always been and so historically significant that it would be nearly impossible to hit those heights again but man. to call his story in dc pride 2023 disappointing is an understatement.

above all else, i think ‘anniversary’ is politically irresponsible -- it suggests that violent anti-lgbt protests should be met with displays of love on our part, that we should make ourselves and our love as visible as possible to show violent (the key word here) bigots and homophobic lawmakers just who they’re messing with here because apparently that’s what’s accomplished every other victory for lgbt rights we’ve ever seen. it’s a ridiculous stance, and it’s the complete opposite of everything i believe in.

and the story is bad enough as it is, but the degree to which alan is written completely out of character isn’t just offensive to those aware of his history but it also serves to undermine everything that makes his specific story such a significant one. this is the same man that two years ago could barely bring himself to use terms like “confirmed bachelor” and “men... like us” and “patrons of a certain intrigue” when talking about himself and his eighty years in the closet

(dc pride 2021)

and he’s now talking about “queer people”? pretending he’s ever fought back? that mystery men -- especially mystery men of his era -- have ever been a symbol for people like us?

(dc pride 2023)

it’s ridiculous, it’s deeply ahistorical and wildly out of character. it makes him sound like a complete hypocrite too which i could actually get behind if the narrative didn’t insist that he’s right and that the above is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

the entire point of alan’s story is that his has been a life lived in shadow, that the green lantern was afraid all this time, that he stood by and watched as lgbt rights movements came and went and he never once stood in solidarity with anybody like him... because he was afraid. it’s a complicated, messy, compelling narrative -- a late coming of age punctuated by regret and shame. it’s a story so many gay people have experienced over the decades and it’s one that shouldn’t ever be erased or sanitized when talking about the first gay character in comics.

the bravest thing you can do is to live without fear? alan wouldn’t know! that’s what’s it’s all about!

(ps: don’t even get me started on how he’d never suggest the non-violent approach to anything at all, that’s almost the most out of character aspect of the entire thing)

[practically-an-x-man]

Colored Pencils, Eraser, and Palette for Nikoletta!

Thank you!!

OC/Writing Art Asks (that I created lol)

Colored Pencil: if given the choice, would this character splurge on an expensive (but potentially worthwhile) branded product, or buy a low-budget alternative even if the quality suffers?

Low-budget by far. She's been under the poverty line almost her entire life, and is more used to having to skip meals because she can't afford them than even thinking about name-brand products. Even once she has a little more money to spare, it's still hard for her to give any thought to quality instead of just necessity.

Eraser: what's one way this character has changed over time? Either over the course of their story, or over the course of designing them as an author.

Oooooh now she's an interesting one for this question. Big ramble incoming...

When I first designed her back in 2021, Nikoletta was a very different character. She still met Abner back in Belle Reve, she still operated at the Queen of Belle Reve and had partially contact-based powers, and she still got her powers from STAR Labs at about the same time Abner did.

However, her powers were completely different, and they were much more lethal. Originally, she was given this sort of nightmare-illusion power, where anybody who looked her directly in the eyes or touched her skin-to-skin would experience a waking nightmare that inevitably ended in a brain bleed/aneurysm.

However, some people were mysteriously immune to her powers, with no apparent pattern to them. This would be a big mystery for a while, until it was finally revealed that her powers caused people to imagine unspeakable mental trauma until their brains overloaded, and the people who were immune were the ones who had already experienced extreme trauma in their lives and had learned to process it without being overwhelmed- like war vets, or some of the metahumans in Belle Reve with particularly tragic backstories.

Her appearance also changed quite a bit. Part of her abilities included a sort of demonic appearance to most people, and the ones who were immune to her powers were also immune to that illusion, and could see her for how she looked before she was sent to STAR Labs.

The one other detail I had that changed is that while in the final version of her story, Nikoletta escapes STAR Labs years before Abner burns it down and only realizes much later that their time there overlapped, the original version of the story had them interact much more while in STAR Labs and escape at the same time. The idea was that they were friends while they were there, would talk through the vents and try to comfort each other through the experimentation, but they never learned each others' names or met face-to-face.

Then it would be a reveal in Corto Maltese, they're in the jungle talking about STAR Labs, and Nikoletta pulls up her sleeve to reveal a burn scar on her arm in a perfect circle (where she was singed by one of the polka dots when Abner burned down the lab), which leads to them realizing they'd actually met years before and didn't know it.

In the end, I changed up her powers to "ground" her a little more. I wanted her powers to be more dangerous on reputation than on actual ability (i.e. how her shadows themselves don't actually hurt people at all, she just builds so much reputation around them while in Belle Reve that they seem dangerous), and I thought having her interact with Abner in STAR Labs just... didn't line up as well as I wanted it to, the more I thought about it. I think the original version of her character was cool, and still fit with the other metahumans in the DC universe, but her final version feels much more dynamic and human to me.

Palette: list four of your character's primary skills, then share at least two ways these skills might blend or overlap

She's great at keeping her emotions in check when assessing a problem, manipulating social situations, breaking down a problem into manageable facets, and generating mystique around herself.

All of these skills were built from her becoming the Queen of Belle Reve and generating her reputation there. Manipulating social situations and generating mystique was how she was able to take that mantle to begin with and turn her relatively harmless powers into something that could keep the whole prison in line. Keeping her emotions in check and breaking down problems are what helped her maintain that persona in the long-term, since it allowed her to keep that position of power and quell dissent in a way that kept most of the other prisoners in her favor.

[d4isywhims]

sims tag game!!

i was tagged by these lovely people @seokolat @pxeltownie @mdmszee @moonriesims @magpiesims @oasivy @tbeanie-sims !! <3 lots of love to you!!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? death by vending machine just because that's the only "unique" sim death i've gotten so far lol (it happened to mawar btw but i immediately quit the game bc of obvious reasons)

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? i'm personally a maxis mix girl but i loveeeee looking at sims with alpha cc

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? nope :)

4. Do you use move objects? yes. i would not be able to survive without it

5. Favorite mod? bed cuddle mod my beloved <3 no but in all seriousness, mccc and iu cheats are a gamechanger! i also love a bunch of adeepindigo's mods

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? get to work ;)

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? live as in aLIVE :)

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? aww just one? :( i have so many! priya, kohana, harlow, jae!!!, hunter and sooooooo much more. but if i have to choose one i'd say my favourite is probably harlow because i based her off of savannah smith and she is gorggggg (both savannah and harlow!)

9. Have you made a simself? yeap

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? foodie for sure, umm maybe creative and dog lover :D

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? the ash brown swatch? the one hunter's hair colour is in

12. Favorite EA hair? i don't knowwww 😭 i mostly use cc hair yikes

13. Favorite life stage? young adult! i get to do so much :D

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? both i think? but if i had to pick a side, i'd say that i'm more of a gameplay person in ts4 :) i'm an avid builder in ts3 tho hehe i’ve always loved the building aspect of the sims and i loveee watching speed build vids on youtube

15. Are you a CC creator? i wish! but unfortunately i’m not :(

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i like to think we're all friends here so i'm going to say yes! i've met sooo many amazing simmers on here and i intend on making more :D

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) i’ll say ts3 just for the nostalgia :’) but ts4 is pretty good too minus the bugs lmao

18. Do you have any sims merch? do knockoff plumbob headbands count? :p

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? i do actually lol my yt username is still d4isy-nukes but i currenty have no vids up.......YET

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? when i first started playing the sims, i was obsessed with making the "perfect" sims with "perfect" lives and would aaalways cheat away negative moodlets or never give them "negative" traits ykwim? but now i just go with the flow at whatever the game throws at me lol it's much fun that way :D also it helps to not stress about the things in game too much, it takes the fun out of it :p

21. What’s your Origin ID? same as my tumblr name!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? oof i can't name just one 😭 @littlbowbub @oni28 are my go-tos for food cc! @simstrouble @johnnysimmer are also very cool! idk man i feel like if i list all my fav cc creators it would be never ending lol

23. How long have you had a simblr? ohh omg i think i made this account somewhere mid-2021? not sure tho but i've only started being active earlier this year :) and hopefully for the years to come!

24. How do you edit your pictures? i use photoshop! i don't do much besides adjusting the brightness, cropping the pics and run a few actions. if i'm feeling fancy i'll add a moodlet/thought bubble or text :) gshade basically carries my editing process atp lol

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? give me hotels/resorts!!!! but ngl it's probably going to be buggy af tho lmao

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? cottage living AND seasons. i canot live without seasons

i know for a fact that a bunch of my moots have done this tag already so i'll be tagging whoever sees this lol