#however! at my dads!!! there is Mojo !!!!!! she is my baby!!!!!

[upperranktwo]

Almost finished moving all my stuff! Just need to do my clothes and gaming things! It's kinda sad how I'm moving away from this place, having my own room for the first time was fun and I enjoyed having independence which is something I did need to experience! But I am NOT gonna miss my roommates holy fuck 😭 and I'll get to save a little money so that's good!

[lizzygrantarchives]

Mojo, April 2021

Is Lana Del Rey – the Springsteen-approved laureate of L.A. darkness – lightening up? In 2021, a new album opens a sunnier chapter in her controversial roman-à-clef, and folk legend Joan Baez advocates her acceptance in the pantheon. But while serenity seems almost in reach, some wounds still burn and grievances rankle. “Fame can put you on the peripheries,” she tells Victoria Segal, “where the vultures can pick at you. It’s dangerous on the edges.”

IT’S MIDNIGHT IN MODESTO AND LANA DEL REY HAS swung into the backyard, pulled up in her fast car. “I told my boyfriend I was going to go out and sit in the car because I hate it when people listen to me talk,” she says. “I’m at his parents’ farm, so we’re in, like, the guest house. It’s pretty idyllic: Northern California, pretty cold, 40 degrees and a little fireplace. We had a sweet little night singing all the old Disney and holiday songs – not what I expected after a long car ride, but everyone was in a good mood.”

Tomorrow, Del Rey will hit the road back home to Los Angeles, preparing to spend Christmas Eve “with my sister and brother and just two girlfriends.” After the holiday, it will transpire she fractured her arm while spinning on her “beautiful skates” through the “twilight of the desert”: that’s why she’s wearing a sling in MOJO’s cover photograph.

Ever since she studied philosophy at New York’s Fordham University in the late 2000s, there’s been a question lurking in Del Rey’s mind: what if something happened to make the world stop? “So when it did,” she says, “I was kind of shocked.” The pandemic has inevitably hampered her movements – festivals cancelled, studio time with producer Jack Antonoff truncated – but it hasn’t slowed down her creative jumps (or her willingness to crash into social media).

September saw the publication of her poetry collection, Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass. In November, she covered Summertime as a fundraiser for the New York and Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestras; covering all bases, she also recorded You’ll Never Walk Alone for a documentary about Liverpool FC.

The most significant landmark, however, was the completion of Chemtrails Over The Country Club, the album she has been promising (sometimes as White Hot Forever) since the release of 2019’s Norman Fucking Rockwell! Bruce Springsteen, who knows a bit about the flipside of the American dream, loved that album: “She just creates a world of her own and invites you in,” he said. The cover showed Del Rey standing on a boat, one arm around Jack Nicholson’s grandson Duke, the other reaching towards the camera as if to save the viewer from the water. Behind her, the Californian coast is on fire. The Greatest, Norman Fucking Rockwell!’s defining song, was the cover’s aural analogue: “Hawaii just missed that fireball/LA is in flames it’s getting hot… Kanye West is blond and gone/Life On Mars ain’t just a song/I hope the livestream’s almost on.” But where do you go after burning America down? Did she know what was next?

“No,” says Del Rey lightly. “I felt totally fucked.”

YOU’D HAVE GOT LONG ODDS, IN 2012, on the internet phenomenon of the previous year’s Video Games becoming the decade’s most remarkable and provocative pop star. Back then, Lana Del Rey was more think-piece cipher than Boss-approved songwriter: “a young fiction,” sniffed the Los Angeles Times, “daughter of a domain-name magnate.”

The record states that Elizabeth Woolridge Grant was born in New York in 1985; as a baby, she moved with her parents upstate to Lake Placid. Music was around, but not unusually so. “From what I was told,” she says, “I sang verses before I spoke words, but I don’t think that necessarily meant I had to, or was going to be a singer.” Much else in her supposed biography, she says, is misinformation.

“People said I came from money,” she recounts. “It was really tough to get over some stigma of this idea of having my dad buying my album and giving me a record deal and us being some rich white family when we fought over money constantly when we were young.” Later, she says “I was not from the right side of the tracks, period.”

Sent to boarding school to address an alcohol problem – a period she captured in This Is What Makes Us Girls from her Born To Die album of 2012 – she “was made fun of mercilessly for being white trash. It was so hard, every minute of it was super-tough, not having come from Greenwich. Being super straight-edge in college was just, like, crazy. It’s been the road less travelled the whole time.” She has no interest, she insists, in properly telling her own story, “beautiful” though she says it is: “I don’t give a fuck about people knowing [mocking little voice] my inner thoughts as a third grader.”

Early detractors, chasing down a narrow idea of “authenticity”, were bothered by her musical prehistory – stalled experiments and false starts that might once have been called “paying your dues”. In 2006, she made Sirens under the name May Jailer, spindly alt-folk with a Linda Perhacs wobble that was never officially released. Her next ‘first’ album, Lana Del Ray AKA Lizzy Grant, was removed by her managers from the internet in 2010, preparing a clean slate for the post-Video Games era.

Yet as the plausibly deniable satire of Brooklyn Baby from 2014’s Ultraviolence indicates (“Well my boyfriend’s in a band/He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed”), she put in the hours on New York’s grottiest stages.

In 2008, Del Rey was living in the Manhattan Mobile Home Park in New Jersey. She would also take the light rail to record with producer David Kahne on Gansevoort Street in the Meatpacking District – sessions that would ultimately become her first EP, Kill Kill, and the since repudiated Lana Del Ray. She had a deal with David Nichtern’s 5 Points Records; Lady Gaga’s manager Bob Leone secured her some classes at the Songwriter’s Hall Of Fame; her senior year of metaphysics at Fordham was ending. Odd little paths opened up: she auditioned for Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, the musical scored by Bono and The Edge, and “maybe thought about Broadway. You’d get like a hundred dollars for singing background on records that would lead to nowhere. There was this company that emerged called The Orchard that was taking submissions for, like, toilet paper commercials and I probably did one, like, under a pseudonym. Definitely the happiest I’ve ever been. Stay in the middle, no dog in the race, people would even hire me for background stuff. I tried to act so cool on every sofa I sat at.”

It was only in 2010, when she met her current manager Ben Mawson at the CMJ Festival in New York’s Chinatown, that gears shifted and she glimpsed a significant future for herself: “Then I moved to London with him that week and he got me out of my deal that day.”

Success was not immediate. “I lived in a shitty flat with no heat, it was so awful – but they told me it was on Camden Road near where Amy Winehouse used to play at the Roundhouse, and I loved Amy.” Her voice softens dreamily. “I loved Amy.”

Fed up with trying to write songs for other people, one day she “just said ‘fuck it’” to her collaborator Justin Parker: “‘I’m going to write what I want to write now.’” In a Dolly Parton-style fit of productivity, within 72 hours she had Video Games, Born To Die, Blue Jeans and Ride.

On July 23, 2011, just under a month after Video Games appeared on the internet, Del Rey was on a train to Glasgow when Mawson told her she had received her first review. “I had 10 seconds of the most elated feeling,” she remembers, “and then the news everywhere, on all of the televisions, was that Amy had died on her front steps and I was like no. NO.” She breathes in sharply. “Everyone was watching, like, mesmerised, but I personally felt like I didn’t even want to sing any more.”

TEN SECONDS OF ELATION seems to be as much pleasure as Del Rey has ever taken from her press. When she covered Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood on 2015’s Honeymoon album, it was not casually chosen: anger at the way she feels she has been misrepresented surges through her conversation, despite the four billion streams, the four UK Number 1 albums, and the validation of famous fans from Stevie Nicks to Courtney Love.

Even Norman Fucking Rockwell!’s ecstatic reception was no antidote. “I knew they were going to like Norman… because there’s kind of nothing not to like about it,” she shrugs. “Norman…’s just cool, it’s easy to cheer for that.” She doesn’t, however, believe people are cheering for her: in September, she declared she still felt like an “underdog”.

“When I’m in London I’m reminded of what other people think of me in a great way. Being on the cover of MOJO – I fucking love MOJO. It’s crazy to me, crazy to me, crazy to me that I could be on the cover of MOJO but it’s a little different – ha! – over here,” she says, ie, in America. “I mean, I guess I’ll never forget my first four years of interviews. They just fucking burned me.”

There was the one where the journalist “made fun of me mercilessly, for like, five hours about how I adopted a New York City accent and that everyone knew it was fake, so just give it up. It was embarrassing – he humiliated me. So by the time he asked me about feminism, I said I just wanted to talk about aerospace travel.”

A 2014 Guardian interview headlined “I Wish I Was Dead Already” is another thorn in her psyche. “I didn’t say I wanted to die because of the 27 Club – I said I was having, like, a fucking hard time. The way people talk about mental health in 2020” – she makes the noise of an explosion – “mind blown. Talk about a different world compared with five years ago. You said anything remotely like you’re not feeling so good that day and it’s like, ‘Woah, you’ve set women back like 200 years.’ Or ‘Witch!’ It was super-hard to be a real person.”

Instead, Del Rey continued to build her musical world, creating a reality nobody could dismiss. ‘Evolution’ suggests dramatic Bowie-like shape-shifts; instead, her six albums have been a process of refining her core material – the palette of upcycled hip-hop, vintage Hollywood glamour and Laurel Canyon classicism. But Norman Fucking Rockwell!’s widescreen dazzle was a dead end of sorts – “I had to turn back inward,” she says – and Chemtrails Over The Country Club appears to reveal a more vulnerable Del Rey: lighter on the LA menace, more innocently emotional: “We did it for fun/We did it for free,” she sings sweetly on the song Yosemite, “we did it for the right reasons.” It’s an album that looks at the road ahead, but also, back to where she’s come from, making her strongest connection yet with her antecedents.

“I’ve been covering Joni and dancing with Joan,” she sings on Chemtrails…’ Dance Till We Die – and it’s all true. In October 2019, Del Rey duetted with Joan Baez on her 1975 song Diamonds And Rust at Berkeley’s Greek Theatre; a night of non-stop dancing with the 80-year-old folk hero followed. And as promised, Chemtrails… includes a Joni Mitchell cover from Mitchell’s 1970 album Ladies Of The Canyon. Reprising their October 2019 performance at the Hollywood Bowl, Del Rey shares the verses out with Arizonan singer-songwriter Zella Day and Weyes Blood’s Natalie Mering. A bittersweet commentary on the value of art, Mitchell contrasts her “velvet curtain calls” with a busker’s purity – it’s a song, says Del Rey, that means “everything” to her.

“The way things started off for me in the way I was portrayed was that I was feigning emotional sensitivity. I really didn’t like that,” she says coldly. “Because I didn’t even get famous ’til I was, like, 27 and until then, I sang for less than free. And I loved it. I really was that girl who was pure of soul. I didn’t give a fuck.”

For one, Natalie Mering doesn’t doubt Del Rey’s investment in For Free. “I think the verse that Lana sings – “Me, I play for fortunes” – it’s her story too,” she says. “She understands the ephemeral quality of music and that it can’t be completely commodified, even though she’s done such a great job of doing that. I think Joni is very similar.”

BAEZ AND MITCHELL, DEL REY says, are “like unicorns”. “Joan, Bob, Joni Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix, it’s less the albums and more the songs – the single perfect songs. Like Diamonds And Rust or Woodstock.” She rummages on You Tube to find a “staggering” 1962 coffeehouse performance from Baez. “I see a lot of people now wanting to be like other people – and hey, it’s not like I don’t want to be like other people too – but I think there were so many less options to look at in the ’60s, so you kind of just got what you got. You got a Janis or you got a Joan or you got a Jimi – it wasn’t like there was Jimi One, Jimi Two, Jimi Three. When I’m producing things alone, it’s impossible for me to sound anything other than a singer-songwriter. Actually, that’s not true,” she corrects herself. “I’ve got my own little ways about me.”

Mering, comparing Del Rey to Peggy Lee “if she was, like, I’m just going to write everything myself,” agrees. “She’s very free and she’s loose. What she goes for in terms of when she’s writing and working, it’s very magical and intuitive and it’s not very calculated – even though I think maybe she’s been accused of that in the past.”

That looseness – a willingness to wander – feels more present on Chemtrails… than previous albums, yet she insists it has been “so much harder than any other record I’ve made.” Covid separated her from Antonoff – also a collaborator with St. Vincent and Taylor Swift – in the final stages of recording and she missed him. “Everything that could be terrible is hilarious in Jack’s world. I think that’s why he does so well. It’s a rare quality for a man to have that softer kind of side – all hilarity and no inappropriateness.”

She says she finds listening to the new album “a fight”, conceding that she’s offering a pre-emptive critique. “It wasn’t so much that I thought the songs fantastically fit together with like seamless, sunkissed production – but you know, there’s a life lived in there.”

Del Rey has long used Los Angeles to colour and contour her songs. But Chemtrails roves further – Tulsa, Nebraska, Florida – a fitting backcloth for a record about freedom in a world where everything has a price. Not All Who Wander Are Lost – a song whose sky-high trill reminds Del Rey of “Cinderella in the movie where she’s holding the bluebird” – romanticises wanderlust. Wild At Heart and the title track (“I’m not unhinged or unhappy/I’m just wild”) hint at something untameable. If For Free is the record’s presiding spirit, you can also feel the vibrations of Mitchell’s Cactus Tree, a song that acknowledges the hard work of “being free” – shedding compromise, swerving control.

It’s a struggle Del Rey maps onto her folk and country influences, most explicitly on Breaking Up Slowly. A mournful lament riffing on Tammy Wynette and George Jones’s notoriously turbulent relationship, it was written with Tennessean singer-songwriter Nikki Lane, who supported Del Rey in 2019. In a hotel room, Lane mentioned that somebody told her she was “breaking up slowly”. Del Rey immediately sang “…is a hard thing to do”.

“One of the most incredible things about being around her is like, she is a song,” says Lane of Del Rey. “It’s just coming out of her at all hours of the day.”

They have written four more originals; there is also, says Del Rey, “a cover album of country songs” and one of “other folk songs”. Del Rey expects “scepticism,” but explains her father and uncle Phil Madeira (one of Emmylou Harris’s Red Dirt Boys) exposed her to country music in her youth. Her tastes are “stark and blue, somewhat outlaw”: Hank Williams, Bobbie Gentry, Patsy Cline, Wynette. “With a little Marty Robbins and Johnny Paycheck. I went back and listened to Ride [from 2012 EP Paradise] and Video Games and thought, you know, they’re kind of country. I mean, they’re definitely not pop. Maybe the way Video Games got remastered, they’re pop – but there’s something Americana about it for sure. So let’s see how these things come out – I’m not going to have pedal steel guitar on every single thing, but it is easy for me to write.”

A YEAR OR SO AGO, DEL REY attended a party with Jack Antonoff and St. Vincent at the house of Guy Oseary, manager of Madonna and U2. “Something happened,” she says, “kind of a situation like – never meet your idols. And I just thought, ‘I think it’s interesting that the best musicians end up in such terrible places.’ I thought to myself, ‘I’m going to try my best not to change because I love who I am.’ I said, ‘Jack, it’s dark.’ And he said, ‘Well, it’s dark – but I mean, it’s just a game.’”

The incident inspires a song on Chemtrails… Dark But Just A Game mixes Portishead, Ricky Nelson’s song Garden Party and Allen Ginsberg’s poem Howl (“The best ones lost their minds”) into a potent statement of defiance.

“Dark But Just A Game is so her to me,” Antonoff will tell MOJO: “fly down the rabbit hole and smile in the same breath.”

The game, however, takes its toll. As Del Rey talks, it frequently feels as if she’s dusting herself down from past humiliations, brushing off old slights.

“People are constantly inferring that I’ve done so much to myself, when I’ve never even been under anaesthesia or whatever,” she says unprompted, apparently still stung by 2012 speculations over the size of her lips. Occasionally, she makes grand statements: “I wanted music to change in the early 2000s and I wanted it to be better than it was. I think it is and I genuinely think I had a hand in it for female singer-songwriters.” They don’t land like shots from a weaponised ego – more the affirmations of someone who still feels as if she doesn’t say it, nobody will.

On a Chemtrails… song called White Dress she sings in a breathlessly rapt whisper of being “only 19”, working as a waitress, listening to The White Stripes and Kings Of Leon. “Look how I do this,” she sings with trembling innocence, “look how I’ve got this.” Then comes the fall: “It kind of makes me feel that I was better off.”

“I’m sure the grass is always greener,” Del Rey says, looking back on her waitressing days, “but I had a lot of fun dreaming about what was going to come next. Also, I really liked being of service and I still do – I do lots of little things in my spare time that put me back sort of in that service space. How I kind of grew up was to be a man amongst men and a grain of sand on the beach and I preferred to stay in the middle of the boat in that way. Sometimes I feel, with fame, it can put you on the peripheries, where the vultures can pick at you. It’s dangerous on the edges.”

“It’s not that I aspire to be the girl next door,” she says later, “but it’s just that I actually was and I think what some people don’t understand is that the girl next door has things going on, too. A lot of these other people who I see portraying that image are not that way at all – they’re like the biggest bitches who live in, like, insane mansions and who rip people off. This is not bitterness speaking at all. It’s literally just kind of just the facts, ma’am.”

In May 2020, Del Rey posted a “question for the culture” on Instagram. In it, she expressed her belief that artists including Beyoncé, Cardi B and Kehlani were applauded for portraying their sexuality in all its messy complexity, while she was accused of “glamorising abuse” in songs like Ultraviolence, where she quoted the title of The Crystals’ Goffin & King classic He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss). The culture’s answer was not sympathetic: Del Rey was held to account for appearing to single out artists of colour, and criticised for asking feminism to save a place for “women who look and act like me… the kind of women who are slated for being their authentic, delicate selves.”

“I wasn’t saying white like me,” she insists, emphasising that the women she mentioned are artists she loves. “I was saying people who are made a joke of like me.”

SHORTLY AFTER SPEAKING TO MOJO, Del Rey issues another pre-emptive social media strike, pointing out the new album’s artwork – a photograph of the singer surrounded by her friends – does feature women of colour. Three days after that, she posts a video railing against magazines suggesting she told Radio 1 DJ Annie Mac that she didn’t believe Donald Trump meant to incite the Capitol riot. In fact, she says, she was accusing him of sociopathy – a subject, she tells MOJO, she studied for six years, along with “psychopathy and narcissism and delusions of grandeur”.

“When Trump became President, I was not surprised,” she says, “because the macrocosm is the mirror of what goes on in our bedrooms. In our inner lives.

“A lot of the things I was writing [songs] about, people shamed me for,” she continues, “but I like to think now I was actually writing about what thousands of housewives were experiencing and no one ever said a thing from Brentwood to Boca Raton. I just dyed my hair black and talked about it and I got a lot of shit for it.”

She declares that “It takes a more dignified-looking person with a better reputation to call out the world, or the President or some guy who runs a restaurant. I’m going to be the person who corroborates that story, the blonde at the end of the bar… The reason why I can’t be a person who starts certain movements is because of what people have written that isn’t true. And that’s too bad – because I know a lot.”

Does she feel she’s been discredited?

“I was discredited for seven years,” she says, her voice rising so fiercely it’s briefly unclear whether she’s laughing or crying. “There’s no other way of looking it.”

In the poem SportCruiser from Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass, Del Rey wonders if learning to fly could help her navigate life, if learning to sail would show her which way the wind was blowing. Then she realises writing is all the adventure she needs.

“I certainly have to circumnavigate the globe quite a few times to come back to the fact that what I do is that I write, that I live here in LA, that I know who I am,” she says. “I think I’m very hopeful that I’ll feel more and more serene, because that is an objective for me. I just like the idea of waking up peacefully, rather than waking up in a sweat, throwing my feet down on the ground and being like, ‘Oh, what’s going wrong today!’”

Talking earlier about her whispery vocal on White Dress, Del Rey said it was not only close to unedited “journaling” but “also, not too afraid about being kind of stupid. The way I sound in the chorus – because I know it’s… not great, you know,” she laughs.

It sounds perfect for the song, though – trembling, awestruck. The voice of somebody on the brink of something. She agrees – not because it catches her teenage perspective, but because it speaks to her now.

“I actually said to a friend the other day I feel something brewing,” she says. “And that’s the first time in a long time. I have no idea what it is. But I know that it’s good.”

Originally published in the April 2021 issue of Mojo with the headline Wild at Heart.

[powerpuff-ali]

Maybe your out of ideas at this point but I'll just try, more brotherly love rrb hcs pwease 👉👈😃😌

Hiii!!! I'm sorry this was sitting in my drafts for a bit I love asks like these btw 😭 I spend way too much time thinking about the boys and their

Loving Brotherly HC pt 4

Ok, so the boys take father's day very seriously. Maybe even more so than the girls.

How serious? They bust Mojo out of prison to spend the day with him. They usually have a cook out where Brick man's the grill, Butch buys the paper plates and sodas, and Boomer is on chip n dip duty

It's really the only time their well behaved during their childhood

As they get older, they really only celebrate it amongst themselves (mostly Brick)

It's a way to really celebrate and acknowledge the fact that he had to "grow up" a little faster than the other 2 to make sure they'd actually survive

What are loving siblings if you don't fight with them? Brick and Butch are usually at each other's throats while Boomer acts as the referee "No dudes, let's be smart and bring it off."

The SpongeBob reference immediately brings Butch and Brick together to roast him

What started as a fight ends as a roast and they're back to normal again- "I may watch baby cartoons but at least my hair doesn't feel like a helmet!" "Silence, child! I might use a lot of gel but at least I won't be bald before 30." "I'm not taking shxt from the guy who compensates for his height with his hair. Borrow a pair of heels from dad and then come talk to me."

Butch is very supportive of his brothers when they get jobs so much so that he helps himself to their employee discount and they let him

To add, Butch is the cheapest out of the 3. However for his brothers, he has no problem spending a bit extra... Even if it means he has to sell himself

"a new hat? Butch, this is like $3k! Damnit, did you at least make sure you didn't get caught?" "Um, I actually paid for this." "With what money?" "Princess paid me for my services and I don't want to talk about it."

(Princess pays Butch to be her assistant when she goes shopping. The derogatory work in question? Forcing him to pay her compliments and also, he's her arm candy. Nothing more than being seen with her because she couldn't care less about him. Also, "Hot people don't have to pay for things")

Brick is the nagging sibling but only because he cares a lot about their well being. "Boomer, why haven't you been taking your vitamins?!" "The little girl creeps me out! I only like the dinosaur!" *Brick aggressively trying to force the gummy in his mouth*

Brick is also the moodiest of the 3. So when he's locked away in his room, Butch and Boomer do everything and anything to cheer him up. One time it was a round of rock'em sock'em robots. Another time it was reenacting the "shark bait, ooh ha ha" scene from Finding Nemo complete with body paint, explosive science experiments, and loud screeching sounds

The first one to go through heart break was Boomer bc long story short, his favorite actress quit acting and now he'd never see her again

So what did Brick and Butch do for Boomer? They made him his favorite food and suffered through a 3 season marathon so Boomer could properly say goodbye to her

They throw house parties between the three of them just because... Actually I'm pretty sure this one's canon? In the episode Bubble Boy, there's a line "Why'd you take all your clothes off?" "Yeah, we're not here to have a party..."

They have a .... Chaotic kinda love for each other 😅

[corelliaxdreaming]

SPN 2x01 “In My Time of Dying”

I’m only gonna keep track of actual deaths, but this sure is Dean’s second time *just* avoiding dying.

Praise Cas, the real music is back.

Can we have a moment of silence for the innocent trucker who was posessed and made to crash into them? Who is basically responsible for John’s death? Demons made this innocent guy a killer, and considering that was a driving accident that happened on the job, he’ll probably never work as a driver again. (IDK, my dad is a trucker, so I have strange feelings when this kind of thing comes up.)

Dean is awfully quick to instruct Sam to “find some hoodoo priest to lay some mojo on him” after what happened last time Sam tried to keep him from dying.

I just want to wave my hand in front of John’s face like “hellooo, your son is dying, do you have an emotional reaction in there somewhere?”

Oh no, Baby :(((

I take it all back, John is planning the crossroads thing from the beginning, and I’m Not Fine.

Dammit, John, just tell him your plan!

Oh shit, Sam tells John to go to hell.

“Dr. Kripke” lmao

I really like Tessa. I’ve seen she comes back several times in the future, but I do not trust this show with returning characters, and I’m trying to not spoil myself beyond what I’ve already seen before (the first six seasons, much of which I’ve forgotten anyway).

A demon can possess a reaper? That seems like a wild sort of cannibalism.

Dean has some kind of angel watching over him, you say? Hmm, not quite yet.

It’s funny Dean doesn’t legitimately suspect John’s been possessed again here since he’s saying the same things he did last episode, and they know he was off messing with the demon last night.

I wonder how many times they had to film this cup of coffee dropping to get the shot just right – however many, it was worth it.

[of-fishnets-and-black-lace]

True Love is a Lie pt. II

Request: Can I please have a part two to “True Love is a Lie”? The first one was so good! Can I have it where it’s been a couple of months and you’re dating Sam and Lucifer comes and asks you to take a walk through the woods while Sam and Dean follow behind, just in case, and you tell him that you’re pregnant with Sam’s child and can you name the child Diana from Wonder Woman and also include the young Diana Prince?

Read Part 1 here!

Word Count: 1892

Warnings: Angst, pregnancy, fluff, cursing, terrible writing, idk what else since it has been too long since I’ve read this, the format got messed up when i posted this from my google docs

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Past Lucifer x Reader

A/N: I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Shit has been so crazy the past few months/years but I’ve got my mojo back! It has been so long since I’ve done anything but I am hoping that with this pandemic I can finally post and write all the requests I have been getting, sequels to my other stories, as well as new stuff I’ve been working on. I am still not taking any requests until I have finished those in my inbox. I love you all and I am so happy to be writing again!

A year went by since your last heartwrenching encounter with Lucifer.  You nearly forgot about it because of your new life with Sam.  Sam always made sure to be attentive and by your side at a moment’s notice.  He made you trust in people again after your confrontation with Lucifer.  He knew after that experience you’d be broken, so he made sure to be there to mend the pieces.   

You did not want to dwell in the past and think yourself into a  depressive mood, especially with the Winchester boys and your new best friend, Jack, gone on a hunt.  You would’ve went with them had you not felt so nauseous and tired.  It was a typical salt-n-burn so you weren’t exactly missing out on anything important.  Nevertheless, Sam hated leaving you, especially with Lucifer still out there, but you were safe. 

Just as the thought of the moose enters your mind, your phone buzzes.

Sam: Hey baby girl, we’re on our way back.  Need anything?

You: Just some warm cuddles from my moose. 

You: Actually, I need oranges like right now. Not joking, I feel like I’ll die without oranges.

Sam: Is everything ok? You’ve never asked for oranges and I’ve never even seen you eat oranges since I’ve known you.

You: Yeah I’m fine, just a bit nauseous.  Also I’ve just been having a weird craving for oranges for some reason.  Oh well.

Sam: Hmm, I’m no doctor but maybe you should get checked out.  I worry about you, honey.

You: I know sweetie, but the doctor is expensive. It’s probably just the stomach flu or something.  Btw, how much longer?

Sam: Probably an hour, give or take 15 minutes.

You: Ok, Love you! See you soon!

Sam: Love you too! Can’t wait!

“Ok, so I have about an hour or so to check and see if my suspicions are correct.” You say aloud to yourself.

“What suspicions?” Cas suddenly appears out of nowhere, scaring you half to death.

“What the hell Cas?!” You all but screamed.

“Sorry, I thought you were praying to me.” Cas was never any good at lying to you.

“Umm, no I wasn’t just tell me why are you here?”

“I heard something on angel radio, and I needed to know if it is true.” He places a hand on your stomach.  “So it is true.”

“What? What is wrong with me?”

“(Y/N), your suspicions are right.  You’re six weeks pregnant.”

“How is that possible? Sam and I were so careful! What will he think or say? No, I can’t tell him. Not yet.”

With Sam and Dean still not home, you made Cas get a pregnancy test.  You trusted the angel’s words, but you needed concrete evidence.  You made Cas leave for a few days; you knew for sure that Cas wouldn’t be able to keep the secret.  The plus sign emerged with seconds to spare as Sam’s heavy footsteps could be heard approaching your shared room.

“(Y/N) I’m home!” Sam yelled as he collapsed onto the bed. You run out from the bathroom, pounce on him, and kiss all over his face.

“I missed you, Moose.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.  I got the oranges you asked for.” 

“Thank you, baby…” You said as you chewed on the inside of your cheek.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?”

“Sam, have you ever thought about having kids?”

“Well yeah of course but… Isn’t it a little dangerous given our profession?”

“Yeah that’s true, but we’ve got out once, we can do it again.  Besides, I know I am safe when I’m with you and when I’m here in the bunker.”

“Enough with the chit chat, we have company.” Dean interrupts 

You and Sam follow Dean to the lighted table, sitting there was God himself, dressed oh so casually and a look of nervousness graced his face.  He twiddled his thumbs and a small smile made its way to his features as his eyes locked with yours.  

“Uh hehe, hey (Y/N), Sam, Dean, Jack.”

“What’s up, Chuck?” You said, holding onto Sam.

“Um, Lucifer asked me to tell you that he’s outside and would like to speak with you.” You grabbed onto Sam a little tighter.  

“I’ll talk to him, but I want Sam and Dean to stay close to me.  Jack should stay behind since it’s his father.”  

“He knows, he said that they could.”

You make your way outside and there he is, dressed in a nice suit and tie with a bouquet of (f/c) (f/f) in his right hand, but one thing was different: you couldn’t see his wings.  Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, but Sam gave a reassuring squeeze to your hand.  You began walking toward Lucifer, Sam and Dean close behind.  Lucifer handed you the bouquet of flowers and gave a quick peck to your knuckles.  This apparently didn’t sit well with Sam as he cleared his throat with anger. 

“Will you join me for a walk through the woods, (Y/N)?” Lucifer asked and you look to Sam and Dean. “Don’t worry, they can follow behind.”  

You all walk to the edge of the woods in silence, your heart beat faster with every step closer to the treeline.  Through your peripheral vision, you could see Sam clench and unclench his jaw.  He was just as nervous as you were, if not more so.  You and Lucifer finally enter the woods. Sam and Dean follow a minute behind to give you some form of privacy, while still able to barely make out your conversations.  

“First of all, I want to say I’m so sorry for what I did to you.  I should have asked for your permission and talked it through with you.” Lucifer says, breaking the silence.  

“It’s alright I guess. I did some research and I now understand that I would not have survived through labour.  However, that does not justify your actions, what you did really hurt me.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry.  I never meant to hurt my soulmate.”

“Soulmate?”

“Yes, you were my soulmate.  That’s why you were able to see my wings.”

“Then why can’t I see them now?”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”  There was a pained expression on his face, you’ve never seen the devil quite like this before.  “I had God make Sam your soulmate after what I had done to you.”

“This isn’t like you Lucifer, why would you do this?”

“I have to prove to you that I will always love you and do what’s best for you, even if it meant letting you go.” He sighed and placed a hand on your stomach. You could hear Dean hold Sam back as he spewed threats if Lucifer were to harm you.  

“Hurt the baby and I will not hesitate to pluck every feather from your wings.”

“I swear on my Father that I will protect yours and Sam’s child. It’s the least I could do to make up for everything.” He said as he kisses your forehead. “Name her Diana.” With that he disappears.

Sam finally breaks away from his brother and runs straight to you. He sees you place a hand protectively over your stomach and smile to it.The words of Lucifer finally make sense to him as he asks “You’re pregnant?”

You shake your head and smile, afraid to say anything.

“I am going to be a father!” Sam shouted with excitement as he picks you up and spins you around.  Tears of joy threaten to spill from both you and Sam as you lock eyes.  As he goes in for a kiss, you both are interrupted by Dean, yelling incoherently and excitedly about him being an uncle. You and Sam look at each other and giggle. It’s not a perfect family, but you can’t live without them.

Time Skip to Wedding Day (3 years later)

You look at your engagement ring then to your flower girl, Diana Prince Winchester, waddling down the aisle leaving flower petals in her wake.  She looked so adorable in her little white dress and you couldn’t help but to tear up.  The audience gasp and awe as they watch your daughter.

The wedding was surprisingly large for a pair of hunters.  Hordes of hunters (friends and some you’ve never seen before), the Winchesters’ monster “friends”, a few angels, and some family came from all over to see you two get married.  With God sponsoring your wedding, you expected something extravagant like a wedding at the Vatican. However, this was not the case.  The ceremony was held in a beautiful meadow that somehow matched your (f/c) wedding theme. The icing on top of the cake was Chuck himself officiating the wedding.  

The wedding march began and Gabriel walks you down the aisle.  Sam couldn't help but let a few tears slip as he watches his two beautiful girls in white.  Dean, the best man, elbows him slightly but he too couldn't help the tears.  Cas, Lucifer, and Jack all smile at you and then to Sam.  They know you two are perfect for each other.  You weren't phased by Sam asking Lucifer to be a groomsman. Besides, it was your idea to have him as Diana's godfather.  You finally reach the altar, and neither of you seem to care about the sniffling and hiccuping. You were finally marrying each other so let the waterworks happen. 

You were hardly paying attention until you hear Chuck say it's time to share your vows.  Sam clears his throat and begins: 

“Y/N, I've known you for as long as I can remember.  We've been fighting side by side since we were little and our dads would go on hunting trips together.  I would always tell myself, that one way or another I will marry this girl and protect her from any and every monsters.  You may have not been my soulmate then, but you are my soulmate now. And as your soulmate, I'm never letting you go.” There was a slight pause and an awkward cough from Lucifer. “I will love you until the end of time.” 

He slips the ring on your finger as you begin:  “I’d never thought I would be standing here with the infamous Sam Winchester, yet here I am with a ring on my finger.  You were my first best friend and my first crush and my first protector.  you’ve saved me from being broken in more ways than one, and for that I owe you my life.  While it is true we were not soulmates before, we are soulmates now and that’s all that matters.  I will love you forever until the end of time.” 

After the expression of the “I Dos,” you hear the words you’ve been dying to hear since you made it to the altar: “You may kiss the bride.” Sam grabs you by the waste and pulls you to him.  With the passion of a thousand suns, he kisses you and everything melts away.  It was just like the first time you two kissed.  

In the back of your mind, you could hear Lucifer whisper “I will always love you” but that didn’t matter to you anymore. You are Sam’s and he is yours.  Nothing will change that.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Sex and Violence- Part 3

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,620

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

“’Nobody's Fault But Mine’,” Dean said after taking a shot with his new BFF. Nick chose a table where he could see the dancing women show off their bodies, and Dean wasn’t complaining. They sat across from each other while you sat on the end of the table, right between them. Happiness wasn’t what you were experiencing. Nick was bonding with Dean as if he could read his mind about what he liked.

All you had to do was observe him like a hawk which is why you weren’t drinking, just watching them talk about rock music.

“Zeppelin recorded it in '75. It was a cover of a Blind Willie Johnson tune,” he said as Dean nodded in agreement. “’You Shook Me’.”

“'69, debut album, written by Willie Dixon,” Dean said. Shifting your eyes between the two men with your arms folded, you tried to notice something about Nick.

“Written by Willie Dixon and J.B. Lenoir.”

“Dude. Dude! You know, for a fed, you're not a total dick.”

“Aren't we all feds?” he asked as he looked to you but frowned at your expression.

“Yeah, I know, I just... you know, not a lot of feds are as cool as us, huh?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” Nick said to you, making Dean notice your expression.

“And what would that be?” you remained evasive. Nick looked to be concentrating on something in your eyes, but no matter what, he couldn’t read your mind. It was like something was blocking him from doing so.

“I understand how you feel about these women. I can see it in your eyes, you don’t like the stripping business.” Deciding to just give him what he wanted, you nodded with a slight smile.

“Yes, that’s it. I prefer something a little less… degrading.”

“Like our jobs. I respect the hell out of you.”

“Thanks,” you smiled again, but Dean knew that smile was fake.

“Alright, can I level with you two?” Nick asked seriously. “I found something kind of weird.”

“Well, you have bought your weird to the right spot. Lay it on us.”

“I went to the crime scene this morning. Saw them bagging this up,” he reached into his suit pocket before taking out a bag with a familiar purple flower in it. “So, I went back, uh, through all the files. It turns out a flower just like that was found at every crime scene.”

“Like it was left on purpose?” Dean asked.

“You know, sometimes a serial killer will leave an object behind, like a calling card. But with this case? Tell you the truth, I got no idea what's going on.”

“Give me that,” you said as you snatched the flower bag off the table. Staring at it, you realized where you’ve seen this exact flower.

“What is it, Y/N?” Dean asked once he saw your reaction.

“I think I might. I've seen a flower like this before, and Sam is with her right now.”

“I’ve called him twice and he is not picking up,” you groaned as you laid your head against the back of the front seat.

“That son of a bitch,” Dean muttered. Silence passes before your phone rings, and you see it’s Sam.

“Sam! Where the hell have you been?” you answered, putting it on speaker so Dean could listen.

“With Cara.”

“Oh, it's Cara now? And you're not picking up your phone?” Dean asked as he focused on driving in the rain.

“We were trying to find the blood samples—someone stole 'em.”

“Yeah, I bet!”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nick found flower petals at the crime scenes. Hyacinths,” you explained and when you got no response, you explained further. “Hyacinths? Mediterranean. From the island where the whole fucking siren myth started in the first place. Sam, Cara had hyacinth flowers!”

“You think Cara's the siren?”

“Well, we did a little checking up on her. She's only been in town for two months. And she has an ex-husband. A dead ex-husband, Carl Roberts. Dropped like a stone, no warning. Supposedly a heart attack.”

“Well, maybe it was a heart attack,” Sam sighed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you spat out.

“Look, I just don't think it's her.”

“And what makes you so sure?”

“I dunno, a hunch.”

“A hunch? I'm giving you cold hard facts here and you're giving me a hunch?” Dean asked, and when Sam didn’t respond to that, you and Dean put the pieces together. “Did you sleep with her?”

“No.”

“Holy shit you did! Middle of Basic Instinct and you bang Sharon Stone? Sam, you could be under her spell right now!”

“Dude, I'm not under her spell.”

“Unbelievable, man. I just don't get it,” Dean scoffed.

“What? Say it.”

“First, it's Madison, and then Ruby, and now Cara. It's like... what is with you and fucking monsters?” you laid it all on the line.

“Y/N, Dean, I'm telling you, it's not Cara. I feel fine.”

“I'll bet you do.”

“You don't trust me?”

“No. Because this could be the siren talking.”

“Look, tell me where you are, I'll come meet you and we'll figure things out.”

“No,” you and Dean said at the same time.

“Are you serious?” Sam scoffed.

“I wish we weren't. We gotta handle this, Sam. By ourselves,” you explained before hanging up the phone. Groaning, you dialed your dad’s number while Dean grew quiet. However, after the 8thring, you knew he wasn’t going to pick up.

“Sam's in trouble, dad. Dean and I think the siren's worked her mojo on him. Give me a call as soon as you get this,” you sighed as you hung up.

“We should call him.”

“Who?”

“Nick.”

“What, no, we can handle this by ourselves.”

“He is the one who showed us the flower. He could be a set of fresh eyes, someone who isn’t a hunter. Someone who actually does this for a living. He could see something we don’t.”

“What part of ‘does this seem fishy to you’ don’t you understand? This guy could be bad news.”

“He’s the only one we got. Three heads are better than two, and right now, we could use a third one if we’re going to catch this siren.”

“Yeah, I guess,” you sighed.

“It’ll be fine,” he said as he got out his phone. Quickly dialing his number, he started talking to the FBI guy about needing his help. Hoping that you were wrong about this one, you let Dean meet him outside of a bar where Cara entered after leaving from being with Sam. Getting out of the Impala, you walked to Nick’s car before entering the back seat. He gave you and Dean a once-over before nodding to Cara.

“She went in just a second ago. Should we follow her in?”

“No, no, no, I don't wanna tip her off. Let's just wait and see who she comes out with.”

“So, you think... what? She's drugging these guys?”

“Pretty much,” you said. “And I know how it sounds.”

“You sure about that? Because it sounds like crazy on toast. All these different strippers, they're magically the same girl? But then they're not strippers at all, it's Dr. Roberts.”

“It's kind of hard to explain, but I have my reasons and they're good ones, so you're just gonna have to trust me on 'em,” Dean sighed as he got out his flask of the good alcohol.

“Yeah. OK. I guess.”

“Thank you. That's actually nice to hear,” Dean smiled before taking a swig of the flask. He offered it to Nick who just smiled and took it without a word. He took a sip before handing it to you. Nodding once, you took it and gulped some down before returning it to him. He took one last sip before handing it to Dean. Watching as Dean took the last swig, your eyes widened. Wait, Cara might not be the siren, after all, you might be in the car with it. Looking at the rearview mirror, you tried to see the reflection of Nick, but he made it clear that he wasn’t going to let you catch him in the shot.

“So, let's say she is drugging her vics. How's she pulling that off?”

“She could be injecting them, you know, or passing the toxin through, uh, physical contact,” Dean listed off the ways.

“Or it could be her saliva... You really should have wiped the lip of that thing before you drank from it, Dean,” he smirked, watching the realization come to yours and Dean’s faces. “I should be your little brother. Sam. You can't trust him. Not like you can trust me. In fact, I really feel like you should get him out of the way so we can be brothers. Forever.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you're right.”

“Dean don’t listen to him,” you said as the siren turned to you.

“As for you, I don’t think Dean could ever satisfy your needs in the way I can. We can be together forever after Sam and Dean are out of the way.” Staring at him with wide eyes, you felt the vibrations of his voice travel to you, but you weren’t affected by them. Whatever Amara said about her protecting you, she was doing it right now because you didn’t want to listen to him at all. However, seeing how Dean was affected, you could save him and kill the siren all in one go.

“I think… that’s a great idea,” you played along, and he smirked in satisfaction. Where the hell were you going to get a bronze dagger covered in the blood of a sailor, and especially that damn song when it wasn’t even a song?

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[maximuswolf]

Help via /r/pagan

Help

I’m at a total loss here. This post may be a bit messy. I’m not a religious person AT ALL! I do believe in Gods but not a God if that makes any sense. I pray to no one, I worship no one, I believe in “nothing” because I’ve never seen, or felt the truth. My daughter Havein died about 10 years ago. She was 6 & 1/2 months old. SIDS took her from me like a thief in the night. No warning, just stole her life in the matter of minutes! I have battled with “God” (more specifically the Christian/Catholic God) over the years asking why? Asking what I done wrong? Asking why her and not me? Asking if I can trade places with her? Asking if I can sacrifice someone else to just bring her back? Well obviously I never got an answer to any of these questions.

I’ve spent YEARS researching “what happens to a baby’s soul when they die” only to get the same ole same ole...”all babies go to heaven, all babies are safe, all babies are at peace” but when I looked further into these religions specifically the Old Testament, it states that non baptized babies go to the “limbo” a middle place (from my understanding) and they’re not at peace, but they’re lonely... I also learned that in 2017 the pope changed that, saying that babies don’t go to the limbo and are automatically brought to God in the kingdom of heaven. Here’s a quick question...how in the hell can the pope change anything about a religion that was brought about WAY before him? How can he know that for sure? again this information is just what I’ve researched and came up with on my own, so some of the things like the limbo, I may not have a full understanding about so if you know anymore information about it PLEASE SHARE!

Well needless to say, my baby wasn’t baptized. My baby was religionless....I also read in the Old Testament that babies die because of a curse? A curse that could of been put on an old ancestor of mine...I’m so confused here because in any religion, isn’t the word cursed used for magic and in religion they don’t believe in Magic?? Or that magic is “bad” and shouldn’t be used?? But In the Old Testament they use that word like it’s a punishment from “God”........ again if you if you have any info about this PLEASE SHARE!!! But here’s why I kinda believe this...I’m a mom to 3 boys that I love with all my heart but I’ve always wanted a girl. Since my very first pregnancy! Instead I had boy/boy/girl/boy. My third pregnancy was supposed to be my last. I was scheduled to get my tubes tied March 10th 2010 about 6 months after having my daughter c-section. It wasnt done at the time of her c section because it was an emergency c section and I almost died. Well on March 5th 2010 I woke up to the worst day of my life. My daughter was dead. March 10th came around and my mom talked me into going to this appointment and before a tubal they give you a pregnancy test. Boom I was pregnant. No surgery that day they just took blood work to confirm my pregnancy and sent me home. 2 weeks later I got a call confirming the pregnancy. A few months later I found out I was having another boy. I was still grieving the loss of my daughter and questioning why “God” would take a child from me but leave me with 2 plus give me another? It didn’t make sense, still don’t make sense. Maybe I’m cursed I’m not meant to raise girls. My sister has 2 daughters and my brother has one. They each have a son. Babies don’t die in our family. Mine was the first. Anyway I got a dog about 4 years ago her name was Lucy. She was my baby girl. I love/d her so much. She was a healthy dog. She got ran over on 9/29/20 I cried over her while petting her in the road as she took her last breath. That was the second worst day of my life. Idk why but feelings I felt the day I lost my daughter came back. My heart hurt so much. I started thinking of that curse again. Asking questions like is it my fault my dog died? Was I not supposed to get a female baby of any kind?

I’ve never performed a spell before not even little spells as I don’t fully understand magic and how things come back to you 3,5 or 10 fold. So I’ve never messed with it just admired it from afar. I have seen tons of supernatural movies where they bring people back from the dead. & learned it was necromancy. I looked into necromancy and kinda think the shit is real TO A POINT! I don’t think just anyone can do necromancy I believe it is a learned craft that takes years to master and even then how far can you really go with necromancy? I understand a bit more about necromancy than I understand about magic itself. I know that there is history rooted in the Bible about necromancy. I understand that there are different ways to go about doing a necromancy spell. But I don’t know much else about it. Like is necromancy looked at like a Ouija board? Do people just tend to stay away from that? Why? Why not?

Let me just say that I’m not trying to bring my daughter back from the dead (if I could I would and no one could change my mind) I had her cremated and brought her home if that matters here. I don’t want to know about the future or who wins the super bowl I just want to know she’s ok, she’s at peace. I need to know. This keeps me up at night, it’s been 10 years and I still can’t “get over it” I just can’t. Maybe it’s me maybe I’m just that fucked up in the head that I really can’t get over it. If that’s the case, I’ll take it but I deeply feel that every mom would live her whole life NEEDING to know, begging to know. I’ve spoken to a medium but don’t know how I feel about it cus I didn’t FEEL anything from it. I didn’t FEEL her. Idk guys, maybe it’s me trying so hard or looking for something but I just need to know. I’ve thought about going to other more famous mediums but my money is always funny and I can’t justify paying so much money for an answer I’m not sure will be true or paying someone that I don’t know FOR SURE if they can reach my baby. I don’t doubt the powers they posses so please don’t take me not wanting to pay as being rude. I’d pay with everything I own and have access to if I knew the person was legit and could in some way prove to me they reached my baby and got a definite answer. I could looking into summoning? But how does that work? from what I’ve gathered that could be a very bad thing. Why is it a bad thing to do tho? Has anyone here ever summoned someone? How did it go? How do you know the soul you summoned was the soul you asked for? I’m asking for opinions, answers, feedback..etc. I’m not going to do ANYTHING with Magic because like I said before I really don’t understand it and I’m not the one to risk anything just to “try it”. I’ve also seen a ton of posts about using a ouija board. I’ve seen people say they’re ok to use and then I’ve seen people straight up forbid them. Why? What’s your take on it? What’s your actual experience with it? What about necromancy? What about any spells someone would do in this situation? Do I just make up the words to said spell? I’m seriously at a loss. I just want to research this topic in a different way, at a different angle. Google brings up a ton of 5th grade spell shit lol and I’m not gonna feed into any of it. I need like keywords to look up or phrases cus my blunt questions like “can I summon a soul” aren’t doing much for legit answers, just a bunch of abracadabra mojo and a YouTube video of some bullshit. I’ve also reached out to the Vatican library and requested photo copies of some archived documents,spell books and other religious texts that aren’t available to the public and I’m hoping to be able to get some more information from those however they could take up to 6 months to receive so in the mean time I’m asking other people from different backgrounds/beliefs to share what they may know. Im also interested in learning about where our pets go after death? Can I connect with my lost pet in anyway? If so, how? I would love to tell her she’s a good girl one more time. I buried her in my dads backyard so if being near her would help, I can make that happen🖤 Thanks for reading my unorganized post. If you don’t want to share anything in the comments you can inbox me 🤞🏻

Submitted October 20, 2020 at 10:29PM by Babysabrat via reddit https://ift.tt/2IG9qRd

[daddyconfessions]

daddy’s journal: 3/23/16

daddy’s journal 3/16/16

Monday Mar 7th Even though Firecracker and I had ended things, I woke up feeling pretty good. I’d thought I’d be miserable all day. All week even. But nope.

About mid morning, Pops (my boss) walks into my office. “Is your report ready?” I told him it wasn’t ready yet. “Come on. I need you to get it done. I want to read over it before we submit it.” The Board of Directors were meeting Wednesday and I had to submit my departments report. I don’t’ have to present to the board. They just take my report and read over at some point, if at all. But, if they have questions one needed to be ready to answer. I barely even worked on mine since I I thought I was getting fired all last week. Pops chewed me out about it. Then said, “Get ‘er done. By the end of the day.”

Lowkey I had kind of been looking forward to the layoff. I’d much rather be in the San Francisco eating some Italian food with Antonia. Or, smoking some good weed down in L.A. Fucking around on Venice Beach. Definitely wanted to turn up in in Hollywood.  Oh well. Its all for the best I suppose.

Tigress texted me in the afternoon wanting me to meet her. “We can just meet for drinks,” she said. “Something informal. I know you’ll like me once we meet.” Old chicks can be thirsty when they like you. Its a big difference from dealing with a young 20 something. I told her I’d get back to her but never did. It was all good though. It kept my mind off FC. I still had questions about why she was acting weird the past 4 weeks and then ended things. Lots of things just didn’t make sense. In a rare moment of bitch-assness, I felt I needed closure. Time to consult the Oracle.  

Tuesday Mar 8th Firecracker texted me that morning to tell me to have a nice day. It was going to be raining really bad and I needed to be careful. WTF? Is this chick playing games or what? Definitely got to consult the Oracle later tonight.

Pops came by my office again. “Is your report ready?” he asked. I told him I was putting the finishing touches on it. “Good,” he said. “We’re deciding bonuses tomorrow too.”

My mouth dropped. “I thought we wouldn’t be getting bonuses this year?” I asked. He chuckled and asked, “ Why not?”  I told him with the downturn and all the layoffs I figured we wouldn’t have one. He smiled: “All the layoffs increased revenue. We all think the Board will be happy with the actions we’ve taken. We have our core staff now and the sentiment is we need to send a message to everyone. We should have some good bonuses this year.”

We talked a bit more and then he left. I set back like

I went from getting laid off to getting a bonus? I was kicking myself from being paranoid. Then I thought about all the people that had lost their job and how I was benefiting from it. It was bittersweet. Corporate America...cold af. I decided to spend a little extra time on my report tho :)

That night I called the Oracle and told her everything about FC. “You know you’re not going to believe this,” she said. “But sounds like your girl is or was pregnant. I told you about my abortion before. I did all the same shit. I cried my heart out. Quit talking to every man in my life but my daddy.” I laughed out loud.

“Now it all makes sense,” she continued. “ The last time you were together she was crying. There’s only a few things that would make a strong chick cry to a man. Especially given your situation. And the way she was crying it had to be something pretty serious. I thought it was another guy but nah. This chick was pregnant. I’m telling you, I did the same shit. I got pregnant and I was mad at every dude I was talking to, even the ones I wasn’t talking to anymore. Nah she didn’t have a STD. Her ass was pregnant.”

I told her that was pretty far fetched. I mean, the Oracle usually gives good advice and 95% of the time she’s right. I think this was one was falling into the 5% range. The Oracle was like, “Think about dude. Put everything in perspective. She kept missing your dates. Then when you met, she cried like a baby. Needed you to give her a big hug. Then the next week she suddenly needs money. The amount she asked for sounds about like the cost of an abortion. Then she comes up with this discharge stuff and how she’s going to the doc and she’ll have to see you later.

“Then the next day she orchestrates the breakup. I’m telling you, she just needed an excuse to put you off. She was really playing you to let her symptoms clear up. Sounds like she went to the doc and realized she couldn’t have sex for several days after the abortion. And wtf happened to the money she needed? Mom or Dad probably gave her the money for the abortion. Or the dude she was pregnant by. And you better be glad you been wearing a condom. If it was your baby trust me she would be keeping it. Dude...give her about 2 weeks. She’ll be back. I put that on everything.” The Oracle went on with her read telling me how FC probably feeling pretty miserable and how after the abortion and things cleared up she’d feel like she got her mojo back. “My advice is to just pass on FC when she comes back around. Just concentrate on Bubbles.”

I had to admit it was the only thing that fit into the strange behavior, if nothing else explains the big crying spell she went through. Still it was pretty fantastic. I told the Oracle if FC came back I’d give her $100. She laughed. “Dude. Go ahead and give me my money now. This chick is coming back. I’m telling you.”

Then I admitted FC had already texted me today saying to say have a nice day. She was like, “Yea that $100 I’m getting may nails and toenails done...maybe I’ll put that on some shoes.....” We ended the call and I felt a sigh of relief.

Jynx texted me right before I went to bed. “Don’t forget about me daddy,” she said. Truth was I had forgot about her with all the FC excitement. But with FC gone I suddenly had more time on my hands. I texted Jynx back and told her I’d see her next week.

Wednesday March 9th Board of Director’s meeting. I put on a suit and got to work early. Not my one of my tailored ones. Some of the rack stuff. Had to down play my image a bit. If I got called into the BoD meeting I’d be ready tho.

However, the hours ticked by and nothing but closed doors and muffled voices from the Executives. Meanwhile, Tigress had been texting me. Still pushing to meet. She was a persistent little monster. And confident. I liked that shit even though I was really interested. But, with Firecracker out of the picture, I had a little free time.  I text her back and told her we could meet briefly that afternoon at Starbucks. By then the board should be done. She agreed.

A little bit before the meet, she texted “Can we meet at Alvin’s for drinks?” I told her I preferred to meet at Starbucks. “Well I’d prefer to meet for drinks,” she said. WTF? Now she’s been difficult. So I replied, “Do you want to meet or not?” We kept it at Starbucks.

Tigress was a pretty good looking woman. Definitely old enough to be some 20 year olds mother. She still could hold her own tho. Old cougar -- fucking with a young guy like me.  “I didn’t mean anything by wanting to change and meet for drinks,” she said. “I just had a little more time this afternoon and figured we could have drinks.”

“We can do something more formal next time,” I said. “I just wanted to get this meet out of the way.”

She smiled. “I’m used to getting what I want. So when you asked me if I want to meet or not, that kind of turned me on. I’m not used to a man being like that with me. “ I smiled back. “There’s not a lot of men like me.”

We talked for a good 30 minutes. Tigress was older than me but never said how much. She has her own house. Her kids are teenagers and decided to go live with their father so she’s in the big house all by herself. I told Tigress I was sorry for being so hard to schedule with. She told me she had a feeling about me. “I don’t know,” she said. “Its just something about you.” I was like, “How’s that? You hadn’t met me. We’ve only texted.” She was like “Yea, but you can tell how a person says things. Their word usage. Nah. I knew I had to meet you.”

We ended things with promises to meet again soon.

Thursday March 10th The board meeting went good. I didn’t get called into answer questions or anything. Overall the board was happy with the way things were going. Things were looking good at work.

I was leaving work for the day when the Payroll manager called me to her office. We’ve been cool since I started working there. Tight like frog’s ass. She let me know I was getting a bonus and how much it would be. I was like

I was in a pretty good mood when I pulled up to the restaurant to meet Bubbles. Firecracker picked the wrong time to break up with her sugardaddy. Bubbles was inside waiting when I got there, wearing some cute little denim one piece, hair up in a bun and what not. “Oh I love your outfit,” the hostess told her as she grabbed a couple of menus. She gave Bubbles the once over. I swore it was some lowkey lesbian shit. Appropriate since Bubbles is bi-sexual. The waitress wasn’t bad looking herself. For a moment I imagined what it would be like if we all got a room together.

“I’m sorry for cancelling so much,” B told me. “I’m feel so bad for doing that to you.” I told her not to worry about it. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I really like you,” she said. “And that mouth of yours. Oh my god.” We both laughed. We talked for almost an hour about everything. I brought up the subject of an allowance again. “I’m still open to giving you an allowance baby. Something more structured than per meet. If you want to keep doing per meet that’s fine. But I’d like to really help you out. Maybe I can help with your rent and stuff.” I almost said pay her car note, but then I remembered that old bucket was paid for.

“That’s perfect babe,” she said. “I quit my job.  Well I didn’t really quit. I just didn’t go in one day and I haven’t been back since.” I asked what happened. “With you, my friends and my son, I just couldn’t keep up with it.” She grabbed my hand again. “I defnitely want to spend more time with you. I want to do more. See you more than once a week.” I smiled. It all sounded good to me. But curiously she never said she accepted the offer. I let it ride for now. “Let’s get out of here babe,” she winked her eye. “Let’s go have some fun.”

I got the check, paid the waiter and we were on our way. “Bye,” Bubbles told the hostess as we left. The hostess was like, “I love your hair like that. Its cute.” I better get Bubbles out of there before these two chicks start tribbing.

Bubbles had parked near the door. We talked about her following me to the hotel but I gave her the address instead.  Her trying to follow me in her car was torture. It was slow as hell and she’d always get stuck at a light when following me. As I looked at the car again, I figured it probably wasn’t a good idea to be looking at Celine bags for Bubbles. Shit I’m thinking the bag probably cost more than her car. Later for that one.

I was in the room waiting by the time she showed up. We were both kind of tipsy so the clothes just seemingly fell off us. I spun her around and made her crawl onto the bed. I crawled on behind her and starting licking that kitty from the back.

She came quick and literally collapsed on the bed in front of me, her body and a steamy pulp. While she was out of it, I flipped her over and went back to work, sharing my knowledge with that clit. I sucked it while I licked it. “Fuck!” she yelled. “Eat my pussy!” And ate it I did.

She grabbed my head and as she came she squeezed it tight. Her orgasm were always violent IMHO. Her back arched up off the bed and her body contorted like she was in the Exorcist or some shit. She let out this long moan and then went limp. I stopped for a bit to let her gather her faculties. I started licking again. “Baby you eat my pussy so good,” she said. I put my hands under her little ass and lifted her up so that the kitty was level with my face. She started gyrating, rubbing that wet muff all in my face. Before long she was coming again. She let a long “Ooooooooo god“ and started convulsing again. I let her down on the bed while she grabbed her breast and squeezed the nippples. “Shit.” she growled.

I let her rest for a few minutes before I went all Moses on her again and parted the pink sea. The kitty was tight as usual. I went in slow at first and surprisingly I was able to get most of Bart in. “Fuck me,” she yelled. “Please.” I went to work, half scared to give her the full onslaught. We got a pretty good motion before she stopped me. I think she’s sort of paranoid that I might actually hurt her somehow. After a baby though? That kitty is ready. “Let me get on top,” she said suddenly.  “Are you sure?” I asked but she was already pushing me off her. “Seems like that might be more painful.”

I let her get on top she and she actually got Bart in pretty far. But she doesn’t know how to ride dick. It was kind of funny watching her bounce up and down but not actually putting the dick inside her. It was the weirdest shit ever. She was just making a bunch of movements. I almost burst out laughing from the shit. Sometimes I love the sugar bowl. I grabbed her hips and guided her down on the dick to help out.  “Oh fuck,” she said. “That feels good.” That did the trick. Not too far down, just enough to make an impression. She came again. “Shit,” she said. “I didn’t expect that.” What the hell was she expecting? She tired to get up but I wouldn’t let her. “Get you another one,” I instructed her.

“Huh?” she asked. “Get you another nut baby,” I repeated. She frowned and said, “I can’t baby. I’m done.”

I took her by the waist again and made her go up and down on Bart. She took over, and started riding him, yelling all kinds of expletives. “Fuck. Shit. Jesus. Damn.” Then she came. This time she jumped up off the dick and just laid on me. I kissed her neck and upper body while she grappled with the pleasure in her body.

“Babe you always  make me cum,” she said after a moment. We kissed and then she stopped and got wide eyed again. “Fuck I’m cumming again.” She raised up on her knees and started rubbing her pussy violently. “Oh God!” she screamed. I thought she was about to squirt the way she was rubbing that clit. NO sooner had she started then did she stop. Her head and neck was twitching and her eyes were going back in her head. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. I got some good dick but I can’t really take credit for this stuff.

I let her rest for a bit then tried to get her back on me for my final climax but she wanted me to finish in her mouth. I’m starting to think she like this shit. I relaxed and let her finish me off with some of that cranium.

We both laid there and fell asleep for a second before one of our phones went off. We both jumped up realizing the time. I needed to get home to the wife and kids and she needed to get home to her son. We freshened up, got dressed, and said our goodbyes.

[cascancook]

TAG- YOUR IT

Favorite Fictional Characters Other Than SPN:  …How much time do you have? Alright, I’ll make myself stop at five. Harvey Specter from Suits, Wes Mitchell from Common Law, Shane Walsh from The Walking Dead, Lincoln Burrows from Prison Break and Scottie from Suits. These are just the first five that popped into my head, I love all my other babes so much too, don’t be offended my little preciouses, plz ;_; Favorite Superheroes: Thor, Jessica Jones and… Does Mick Rory count? I think he does. Favorite Movies: End of Watch (2012) was a really, really good cop movie. And also all the LOTR movies, because I still love that book. What Would Your Personal SPN Heaven Look Like:First of all: thank you so much for tagging me @heytheredeann

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 10 followers you want to know better.

Name: Kathryn Chinese Zodiac Sign: Fire Ox Height: 5′6″ or 167.64cm Ethnicity: White/American Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff; however I recently tested into Slytherin Myers-Briggs (MBTI) Personality Result: ENFP Favorite Season(s): Autumn and Spring. Favorite Book(s): House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer  Favorite Flower(s): I have always loved Daffodils because of the story of Echo and Narcissus. If you don’t know it- look it up Favorite Color(s): Pink, more green though. i love reds too Favorite Animal(s) & Why:  Pigs and cows because they are under appreciated and treated terribly

Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: I like most ice cream flavors, not chocolate (cause Im allergic) but my favorite gelato flavor is honey lavender 

Average Hours of Sleep: 9 SamGirl/DeanGirl/CasGirl/CrowleyGirl/Other/None?: a Cas girl, just look at my url; and a bit of a Sam kinda gal Favorite SPN Character & Why: Crowley because although he is evil he has always held this sort of demonic class that is both appealing for the character and sexy as all hell. He makes me laugh every time I hear him and I love how Mark Sheppard has portrayed the character.  Second Favorite SPN Character & Why: I really connected with Garth; he was a bit out of the norm for Hunters and although he was quite the cute little dork, he could still hold his own against a number of monsters and scary situations( which was awesome.) He was so cuddly and fluffy for a Hunter especially after all the things he had seen. It takes a great amount of strength to walk out of fear with a smile and looking on the bright side. The Winchesters have gone through a lot too but would probably not have handled it as well as Garth has in such a positive way. 

Favorite Fictional Characters Other Than SPN: Mabel Pines; because she was so true to herself and so enjoyable to experience. Malory Archer; because she is so hilarious and mean and opposite of what I am and everything I will never be. Mojo Jojo; from power puff girls because he was so ambitious and hilarious, he was just a scared little monkey on the inside. Is it ok to say that Thomas Sander’s ‘Dad’ personality is also one of my favorite characters? He never fails to make me smile Favorite Superheroes: Peggy Carter; The Winter Soldier; Spiderman; Rosa Parks; and Spiderman

Favorite Movies: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986); Apocalypse Now (1979) ; and Camelot (1967) What Would Your Personal SPN Heaven Look Like: Dean and Cas dating; Mary and John reunited to talk things out; Gabriel being back and chatting with God and Amara over some breakfast talking about cat blogs and porn. Bobby in a chair sleeping and snoring with a book of legends on his chest, Sam petting a dog holding a baby (Dean and Cas’s baby) and Charlie showing Kevin Solo the basics of hacking while Crowley is in a corner avoiding God and Amara and trying to talk Eileen into a deal while she ignores him and sips her tea, smiling at Sam. 

TAG - Your it @kelsey80 @mistamap @tree-of-blue-squirrel @shit-happens-bitchachos @someonebeatmetotheurl @everyusernameithoughtofwastaken @mancamonster @castheweepingangel @casper-the-friendly-being @i-am-eurus-holmes

[gch1995]

I’m actually watching the 2016 PPG reboot. While in some ways it is actually nice to see the girls hanging out and interacting more like sisters in slice of life scenarios, it is irritating that they aren’t really doing a ton of saving the day.

Remember the occasional flaw in the writing for the OG cartoon of Buttercup getting subject to mean spirited centrics where she and/or her loved ones were subject to character derailment in order for her to be punished, suffer, and/or get double standards? Well, that’s not a problem in the 2016 reboot anymore? She does most of the saving, and gets a most of the attention in the reboot.

Unfortunately, they’ve created a new problem by focusing too much on Buttercup in the reboot, however. Now, Blossom and Bubbles don’t have much relevance.

While the OG PPG classic cartoon was a great show overall, I won’t deny that there were bad episodes and ooc moments here and there, but what have they done to the girls personalities here in the reboot on the whole, though?

Blossom has become a butt-monkey, a Yandere, and a neat freak. She still likes getting good grades, but she’s more bossy and naggy than the intelligent, mature, and resilient leader she was in original.

Bubbles has become “cute, but psycho” trope most of the time in the reboot, whereas in the OG cartoon, “Bubblevicious” was mostly just a one time thing when she went off the rails because she wanted to stop being seen as a “baby.”

Buttercup originally was the “toughest fighter” with a tomboyish personality and a bit of an instigator side, but like, she had restraint and common sense most of the time. Here in the reboot, she destroys an entire state fair and accidentally gives Bubbles a black eye because a villain called her “Princess.” Really? WTF? Also, she just seems to have become much more openly obnoxious and bratty. Like, why would she make fun of Ms. Keane for teaching a grammar lesson? Why would she steal Octi from Bubbles without provocation? She didn’t always respect authority in the original cartoon, and she did like to mess with Bubbles in the OG cartoon. However, she’d never been this petty and disrespectful in the og cartoon.

Don’t get me started on how wrong the writers got the Professor in the 2016 reboot...It’s probably the worst character assassination in the reboot, actually. While he had some OOC moments in the original cartoon of bad parenting in some bad episodes that didn’t make any sense, such as “Moral Decay,” “Daylight Savings,” and “Keen on Keane,” for the most part, Professor Utonium from the OG cartoon was a really great dad to the girls. He was attentive, brave, kind, caring, intelligent, reasonably strict, protective, and selfless more often than not in the og cartoon “Boogie Frights,” “PowerProf,” “Collect Her,” “Knock it Off,” “Beat Your Greens,” “Little Miss Interprets,” the 2002 prequel movie, “Film Flam,” “Get Back Jojo,” “Nano of the North,” “Helter Shelter,” “Supper Villain,” “Just Desserts,” “The PowerPuff Girls Best Rainy Day Adventure,” “Pet Feud,” “The Mane Event,” “Stray Bullet,” “Meet The Beat-Alls,” “Octi-Gone,” “Oops, I did it Again,” and “Members Only” showed just how much he loved those girls, and just how great of a dad he could be. Sometimes he could be an absent-minded, overprotective, and embarrassingly cheesy Dad™️ in episodes like “Uh Oh, Dynamo” and “Powerprof.” However, he really did love Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup more than anything, and would risk anything to protect them. He really loved to hang out with them, and he usually took a genuine interest in what they were doing.

In the 2016 reboot, however, the Professor is more often than not a completely idiotic, insensitive, neglectful, reckless, and selfish manchild. Whenever he has centrics, the girls actually parent him more than he actually parents them. He barely seems to care about them at all. He is such an idiot that he actively endangers them by locking them up all in a room together where they can’t escape when he thinks one of them is about to turn into a monster, rather than isolating them all in separate chambers, which is something that the OG Professor never would have ever done before with any of the girls, not even in his most OOC moments. In the original cartoon, Professor Utonium created the girls because he wanted to raise some kids, and make the world a better place. In the reboot, he actually created a PowerPuff Girl before Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup called Bliss, just because he wanted to win a science fair. Really?

While there were occasional hints that Buttercup was kind of the black sheep of the family in the OG cartoon, mostly thanks to the writers not knowing how to write centrics around a tomboy in a positive light, in my opinion, rather than the characters themselves, Professor Utonium never once told any of the girls he had any favorites between them. In the reboot, he lets it slip that Bliss was “his favorite daughter,” which instantly makes Buttercup feel hurt. Though he tries to reassure that he doesn’t actually have any favorites, the damage is already kind of done. In the reboot, when Blossom is concerned about not ever leveling up in her powers like her sisters, the Professor actually makes it worse by telling her that she might never level up in her powers, and might just become a normal little girl. In the OG cartoon, if the girls ever confided in the Professor, he was never this insensitive and stupid.

Also, why did they take out the backstory of Mojo’s connection to the girls in the reboot? Now, he’s just a boring one-note chimpanzee villain with a big brain, who talks in the third person, and who acts stupid more often than not. It also just makes the Professor look more incompetent than he originally was in the og cartoon.

However, I’m going to get through this whole thing, no matter how stupid and insulting to the original it gets.

[kartiavelino]

Janet Jackson’s BFF: Nothing’s ever good enough for Janet

Earlier than a present final week in Syracuse, on the second leg of her State of the World Tour, Janet Jackson arrived to the venue in a nasty temper. “We had been like, ‘Ooh, let’s steer clear of her!’ ” says the tour’s artistic director Gil Duldulao, who instantly picked up on Jackson’s “salty” power: “ in the event you ask one query and she or he doesn’t reply you, after which she provides you that look. So I simply walked her by means of her staging, and I didn’t say a rattling phrase.” However as soon as Jackson kicked into motion in the course of the live performance, one thing came to visit the pop legend. “She began laughing within the present, she began making jokes. After which after [the show] she was smiling so onerous,” says Duldulao, 39. “The stage is what brings her alive and what makes her really feel alive. It’s such a particular place for her.” Jackson, 52, might be sharing her “particular place” with hundreds of followers when she headlines Day 2 of Panorama Pageant at Randalls Island Park on Saturday. It should mark Jackson’s first pageant look within the New York Metropolis space in her four-decade-long profession. And it continues the midlife profession mojo the famous person has gotten since giving start to her first baby — son Eissa — at age 50 in January 2017. Eight months later, she had whipped herself again into road-ready form for the State of the World Tour kickoff final September. “I believe after giving start, she simply desires to work, whether or not or not it’s festivals or excursions,” says Duldulao, who, along with working with Jackson for greater than 20 years, is the music royal’s greatest pal. “I simply actually really feel that she’s in a brand new kind of work area in her life, that she simply desires to maintain going.” Jackson’s work on the stage has supplied a sanctuary for the singer in some robust occasions, from the breakup of her marriage to 3rd husband, Qatari businessman Wissam Al Mana, just a few months after their son’s start final 12 months, to the loss of life of her father, Joe Jackson, final month. Simply 11 days after her dad’s passing, the diva was again onstage headlining the Essence Pageant in New Orleans. “It’s remedy for her. It’s a spot for her to let issues out, as a result of the present’s very emotional,” says Duldulao, noting that there’s a photograph remembrance of Joe Jackson projected onstage when Jackson performs her 1998 No. 1 hit “Collectively Once more.” “She retains going irrespective of what’s going on, and that’s simply so inspiring to me.” Solaiman Fazel Duldulao has been drawing inspiration from Jackson since he noticed her 1993 “If” video, and that motivated him to maneuver from his native Hawaii to Los Angeles to pursue his dance profession. In 1997, he landed a coveted spot on her dance squad for “The Velvet Rope” album and tour. “We didn’t actually work together for the primary 12 months and a half. I used to be so shy,” recollects Duldulao, who, on the finish of the tour, lastly labored up the nerve to ask Jackson how she was doing: “The minute I requested her if she was OK — as a result of I might inform one thing was happening — that’s when our friendship flourished.” Alongside the best way from dancer to choreographer to artistic director for Jackson, Duldulao has witnessed her work by means of the “highs and lows” of her private life in her artwork. “With each album, there’s at all times one thing that she’s going by means of. I’ve seen a journey by means of each undertaking,” he says. “I look again at her life and all that she has gone by means of [back to] her childhood. It wouldn’t be straightforward, you recognize?” Like her late brother Michael, Jackson is infamous for her work ethic. “Janet lives and breathes her craft. Nothing’s ever good enough,” says Duldulao. “Right down to the final minute earlier than a video shoot or earlier than a efficiency, she calls you in to maintain going by means of it, to rehearse it. She doesn’t wish to cease. Generally now we have to inform her, ‘You gotta go to mattress.’ ” Duldulao, who will generally keep on the telephone with Jackson till 6 within the morning “speaking artistic issues,” says that the socially acutely aware State of the World Tour was impressed when Jackson was observing US issues from her vantage level of dwelling in London. “She was similar to, ‘Is that basically what’s happening in America proper now?’ ” Placing collectively a Janet Jackson present, with all of its shifting components and complicated choreography, is sort of a navy operation. “Me and her have to observe the present from prime to backside not less than 20 occasions to get the texture of the way you need your viewers to really feel,” says Duldulao of their pre-tour run-throughs. “There’s so some ways to strategy it, however it’s important to strive all the pieces to be able to determine it out.” All of that tough work continues as soon as the present hits the street, however they make time for some enjoyable alongside the best way. “Generally we’re in cities the place there’s probably not a lot to do, so she’ll lease out a room or a balcony within the lodge, purchase a few video games, and we’ll simply play,” says Duldulao. “Or generally we go bowling. It’s very playful that approach. And she or he’s been kind of getting out of her regular methods, doing issues like strolling with out safety.” Since Jackson has had a baby in tow on tour, Duldulao says, “I believe she simply started to let go, as a result of generally when you could have quite a bit happening, you simply should let go.” Duldulao says that it’s this freer — however nonetheless fierce — Jackson that you simply’ll see at Panorama: “With all that she’s been by means of, seeing her now so glad together with her baby, she’s actually in a fantastic area in her life. And we simply wished everybody to take pleasure in that.” Share this: https://nypost.com/2018/07/27/janet-jacksons-bff-nothings-ever-good-enough-for-janet/ The post Janet Jackson’s BFF: Nothing’s ever good enough for Janet appeared first on My style by Kartia. https://www.kartiavelino.com/2018/07/janet-jacksons-bff-nothings-ever-good-enough-for-janet.html

[henrysonnier788-blog]

Why I, As A Mama Pick Co

Affluenza has really been actually suggested as a lawful defense for abundant little ones that seemingly don't know there are consequences to their activities. Her granddaughter-in-law Margaret (1353-1412), which controlled each one of Scandinavia as the mama of one master and also the adoptive mommy from one more, held a similarly complicated unofficial placement but for a lot longer, and in traditional past is offered the title from Queen. One point I can not stand is hearing Your Moon is just your understanding from your mom. Indicting an operating mother from not increasing her own little ones is a crushing, terrible thing to mention to somebody. At this stage, mama daughter connections are pretty difficult as well as, all moms ought to understand that understanding is actually the keyword. The woman's personal mama birthed the baby for her little girl, who was actually unable to birth kids from her own considering that she had no uterus. This located in favor of the mom relating to the aspect relating to healthcare considering that the dad chose not to listen the worries as well as di3t-perfect4you.info recommendations from the kid's mental and also clinical wellness professionals. As my mama continuouslied end up being repeatedly ill this in 2014 I grew from not preferring her to leave me to wishing exactly what was actually most ideal for her. Mama India ended up being a definitive cultural traditional as well as is actually regarded as among the greatest films in Indian and also globe cinema. Due to the fact that of her convenience and ultimate love towards The lord, The lord chose her to be the mom from Jesus. This is actually a wonderful multicolored shipping stamp including Mommy Teresa, given out through United States of United States. That specific result is actually specifically what you pursue when using the mother shade method. Our experts evaluated film listings coming from International Movie Database, Ticket office India, Ticket office Mojo, and Motion picture Buff, which are the leading sites that compile movie records (Resources below, right here, listed below, and also listed below ). By means of these sites, our team determined six as well as 3 added films distributed by Eros in 2015 as well as 2014, respectively. As the child nurses breast dairy, they certainly not only gains in health, however also gets acquainted along with the love-filled connect that exists between the child as well as his or her mommy. There is actually a single of them staying yet he still survives the farm outside Susanville, CA. I constantly experience a relationship with individuals in the aged photos likewise. Though my grand daddy has long ago gone on to the following life, this hand-written little bit of poetry that he copied adverse a notepad has survived to occupy future productions of people that may never reach go through the original in the old areal Yuma prison. I state years because she remains to be actually an impressive mommy to me as well as I am actually honored to call her certainly not simply my mother but my good friend as well! He shows up to have been closer to his little girl compared to he was to her mama Frances Shand Kydd that left him for an Australian as well as which marital relationship maintained her from the UK for substantial periods at a time.

[magicinthelibrary-blog]

The Rose and the Dagger Review

In this review, Flora and I, (Seelie) are reviewing The Rose and the Dagger tonight. We both agreed on a three star rating, which we explain below. We should give fair warning, these aren’t synopsis reviews, where we say a brief description of what happened and then say whether or not we liked it. We review in depth enough that there are some spoilers. We try to give fair warning before they are mentioned. Of course, MAJOR, PLOT twisting spoilers we try to avoid at all costs, but if you are someone who hasn’t read the book and worries about it being spoiled, you might want to come back when you have read it.

LAST WARNING, THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!

FLORA’S REVIEW

I really enjoyed this book. I actually liked this book better than The Wrath and The Dawn. It is fast paced and has a lots of action that had me buzzing right through it. As with the first book, it is beautifully written. Renee Ahdieh paints a beautiful world that has you feeling the silks on your skin, the sand between you’re sandaled toes and smelling the incense in the air.

I just couldn’t make myself like Khalid in the previous book. I couldn’t justify his actions at all. In this one he definitely redeems himself. He realizes that maybe he shouldn’t have let a dead vengeful man’s curse control him and that murdering those women was NEVER the answer. Finally! It only took falling in love after having his previous seventy something brides strangled to death. Sheesh! Khalid also shows some amazing forethought and emotional strength in this book. Over and over again he’s put in highly stressful situations that have others around him (*cough, cough* Tariq) flying off the handle, while he remains calm and thinks about the possible consequences of his actions. It saves him and the people he loves numerous times.

Shahrzad is a great female lead. I love how no matter what anyone else thinks or how hard it becomes, she stays true to her heart and what she believes is right. She takes charge of every situation like a true boss, or Calipha as it is, and doesn’t let anything or anyone stand in her way.

In this book Khalid and Shahrzad work together to try and break the curse plaguing Khalid and his kingdom. Having parted ways at the end of the last book, I was worried about when we’d see them together again. Luckily they come together pretty early on, so have no fear. They go to the Fire Temple to seek the help of Khalid’s former tutor and powerful magus Musa Zaragoza. There we’re introduced to a new character who, incidentally, quickly became my favorite: a young magus named Artan. He’s a sarcastic, rude, badass whom I wish had more page time. How Khalid manages to keep his cool during Artan’s taunting and not punch him in the face is beyond me.

Meanwhile all of Shazi’s (I’m going to refer to Shahrzad as Shazi now because, let’s be honest, it’s easier to type) friends and family are still seeking refuge in the Badawi camp. War is on the horizon between the kingdoms of Khorasan and Parthia. We see a lot more of Shazi’s sister Irsa. She is about as opposite from Shazi as she could be. Irsa is shy and usually the one to run away from danger, not into it. Throughout the book, Irsa really begins growing up and coming into her own, no longer willing to be pushed aside. I loved watching the love blossom between her and Rahim. I have been rooting for them since the first book. Their love is so sweet and slow burning that it gave me a sense of foreboding.

Tariq, my baby, I feel so bad for the guy. He loves Shazi so much and has done so much for her but his heart is breaking into a million little pieces. Even though he’s not exactly nice and friendly to Shazi, he still goes out of his way to watch over her and make sure she’s protected. Unfortunately he also lets his anger and bitterness start controlling his actions. He begins leading raiding parties to conquer lands in preparation for going to war with Shazi’s love, Khalid. He’s constantly struggling to come to terms with Shazi being in love with Khalid and not him. Tariq yoyos back and forth between love, understanding and hate so much that he almost makes an unforgivable and tragic mistake.

Shazi’s father Jahandar and her Uncle Reza bin-Latief are just getting shadier and shadier. Everyone in the Badawi camp starts to wonder what their true motives are and where their loyalties lie. I honestly hated the scenes in which we had to deal with these two characters. Shazi’s dad is not seeing anything clearly because he’s all hopped up on the blood magic mojo coursing through him and Reza is a lying, manipulating traitor. Luckily, their scenes are usually small and not very often throughout the book.

I really missed Despina in this book. I’ve never fully trusted her after all the lying she did in the beginning to Shazi but I’ve always thought she had a big heart and loved her spunk. She makes a brief appearance in the beginning and then we don’t see her again until near the very end. However, what an appearance it is! Let’s just say once a spy, always a spy.

Slight spoilers ahead

I felt as though the inevitable breaking of the curse happened a little too easily but was bound to happen. I loved the way the war played out between Khalid and his uncle the sultan of Parthia, Salim Ali el-Sharif. Only a little actual fighting but a lot of cunning and girl power.

In the end there was some heart ache and death but ultimately good triumphed over evil! I was pretty upset about a certain character death but I admit I saw it coming a mile away. I don’t know if it was really necessary or more of an obligatory I have to kill off a main character kind of thing. I always love a happy ending and aside from that, we truly get one in this book. The Rose and the Dagger is a great read that keeps you engaged the entire time. If you enjoyed The Wrath and the Dawn, you’ll love this book.

Side note. Often when I read books they’ll spark a certain song to start playing in my head. At the end of my reviews I’ll be listing the song or songs that became my soundtrack while reading the book. I hope you enjoy.

SOUNDTRACK:

Magic Carpet Ride by Steppewolf

Desert Rose by Sting

SEELIE’S REVIEW

I think it’s fair to say for my review, if you haven’t read the book preceding The Rose and the Dagger, the ending to that first book might be spoiled, so please don’t read unless you’re prepared for that.

So, I think I’m the opposite of Flora with this inaugural book choice, which is funny, because I’m the one who wanted to read it so desperately! I absolutely adored the first book. I couldn’t put it down. The writing was beautiful and the story was intriguing. Why was Khalid killing his brides? It was obvious he wasn’t a villain, it was obvious he would be a hero of the story, so what terrible reason did he have for murdering those girls? I also wanted to keep reading to know when Shazi would act on her revenge. Would it be before or after she realized that Khalid was in love with her and would she realize she loved him as well? Would his reason for being such a monster be a forgivable one?

The first book played out so seamlessly, each scene pulling you further into it’s rich details and engrossing story. Each important scene was drawn out and written in beautiful detail, leaving nothing desired. I felt certain I was going to love this book just as much. Flora didn’t care for the first book (because she found Khalid unredeemable, which is understandable) and enjoyed the second one more. I, on the other hand, was disappointed by The Rose and the Dagger.

Before anyone gets all upset or starts spamming me with hate mail, I have to say going into this that this wasn’t a bad book, just disappointing in comparison to the first. Renee Ahdieh is a lovely author. Flora states it well enough that I don’t need to repeat it, the girl can describe something to the point of transporting you there. **Fat girl alert** I especially love her description of food. Every time she describes the food Shazi is eating, my mouth waters a little bit! Besides food, she also writes some very touching scenes. The beginning of the book has Khalid helping rebuild his city, though no one knows it’s the Caliph helping them, and it’s a wonderful, beautiful beginning.

The Rose and the Dagger would have satisfied my need for a happy ending if a few things would have happened.

First, I wish the stakes would have been higher. We left the last book with a sense of urgency, the city burning around them and Jalal sending Shazi with Khalid’s only true rival, Tariq. He sends her out of the city to keep her safe. He sends her out of the city, at least in my interpretation of the ending, because Shazi is beginning to fear that what has happened is their fault and that the only way to stop it is to kill her like they did Khalid’s other wives. When Jalal sent her out of the city, I took it to mean he was worried that someone in the city (Khalid, a palace guard, one of the mercenaries who claimed to know Khalid’s secret) might try to kill her to put an end to the devastation on the city.

What a way to end the first book! My heart stopped. It can’t end there. Of course, Khalid isn’t going to kill her or let anything happen to her. But she left (to stop her crazy father) and to make matters worse, left with her childhood love! Surely, Khalid is going to be FURIOUS with Jalal and all of them for letting her go?

When we start this book, there isn’t any of that urgency in the pages that we felt at the end of the last book. It’s slow, slightly introspective, a bit flowery, but the stakes just aren’t high enough. There’s no real question on the horizon that made me turn the pages in the first 70% of the book. We know they will break the curse, so the stakes have to be high enough that we care how it’s broken. I turned the pages merely because I was waiting for the stakes to change and for me to care a tiny bit more, but it took too long to get there and then ended too quickly.

Secondly, and this is going to sound odd, but I wish Ahdieh had taken more time on this story and not rushed through it. There was potential in this book if for no other reason then the first book was so carefully and wonderfully written. For example, it might have even been more exciting if we had seen more of the sorcerers. Shazi goes to see Musa, the Fire Mage, to help her break the curse and find a way to help her father, who has been ill since using that terrible book to burn the city. It’s an interesting turn in the tale and just when you think the book is going to get good, she rushes through the most interesting characters! We hardly see them and we never really get a good explanation on Artan and his family and why he avoids them.

The love scenes are equally rushed. Characters we waited the entire book to be together have a moment on the page and then its over. Arguments between characters go unresolved through almost the entire book. Ahdieh could have slowed the story down and made us care more about the characters and each of their side stories instead of rushing us through them. (did it bother anyone else that sometimes you would turn a page and almost be disoriented by the jump, like a scene was left out or you skipped too many pages?)

The ending was easily resolved (Too easily), but that’s not even a problem for me. The ending was when it got more exciting. I don’t mind a too-easily resolved ending, but I do wish it had taken its time getting there, so that I wouldn’t have felt cheated out of the character development and side stories that flitted by in an effort to end the story.

Finally, I think this book might have been better if one of two things had been done: either make the entire story one book instead of two or slow it down and make it three. I think having lost that sense of urgency in the year between books made me lose momentum and I couldn’t seem to gain it no matter how I tried. If it had been all one book, I would have kept going because I still would have felt that wonder with the first half and would have wanted to see how they resolved everything.

Likewise, if Ahdieh had spent more time giving us more of the side characters, more of the stories in the background that make you want to keep reading, more of Jalal and Despina, Irsa and Rahim, Musa and Artan, and more of the villains, Reza and Jahandar and Salim. If the cursed book played a larger part as the villain and not so much a side note so easily destroyed, she could have easily written three books instead of two and I would have cared more to get to the ending.

I think Ahdieh is a beautiful author and if you liked The Wrath and the Dawn, you should read The Rose and the Dagger to settle your curiosity. I will definitely read more of Ahdieh’s books, if they are in a genre that appeals to me. I think Ahdieh had a wonderful premise to a story and my only real complaint at the end of the day is that the second half was too rushed for my liking.

So what do you think? Agree or disagree? If you want to drop us a line, shoot us an email from the contact page.

[ronaldmrashid]

Early Retirement Five Years Later: Reflections On Life After Work

On March 8, 2017 I celebrated five years away from Corporate America. I also finally collected 100% of my remaining severance package payment on March 31. To celebrate, I’d like to share some insights into what I’ve learned since leaving the rat race.

Initially, if anybody asked, I told them I had retired. However, I soon realized how obnoxious it sounded for a 34 year old to say he was retired. I could sense their resentment, so I decided to say I was unemployed and following my dream to be a writer instead.

When they heard I was jobless and pursuing a highly unlucrative career, people’s attitudes changed. They offered advice and introductions to other people. Some even invited me to stay at their vacation homes out of pity. It was interesting to observe how much more empathy people have when they perceive you not doing as well as they. Related: Are You Smart Enough To Act Dumb Enough To Get Ahead?

Nowadays, few consider me an early retiree because I’m busy writing and doing so many other activities. This post may be particularly useful to those who can’t break free due to the one more year syndrome. However, I suspect there’s something here for everyone.

Reflecting On Five Years Of Early Retirement

1) Early retirement gets easier over time.

During my first year after leaving Corporate America, I often wondered whether forsaking a steady paycheck and a growing career was an optimal financial move. This was understandable because I hadn’t been away from the workplace long enough to appreciate fully what else was out there.

But as each month passed, I became more confident about my decision. My severance package was still getting paid out once or twice a year and I was doing things I could not do while working full-time e.g. consulting in fintech, writing more openly online, traveling for more than three weeks at a time, coaching high school tennis, managing home improvement projects, etc.

During years two and three of early retirement, while I continued to feel fear and uncertainty, I was also experiencing excitement and hope. The door for returning to full-time work continued to be left open, even if now it was only a crack. By the time year four rolled around, I’d found acceptance and clarity. It was the first time I resolved never to go back, especially after a terrible interview experience with a life insurance startup. After five years, I’m feeling tremendous joy because I’ve come to fully embrace the early retirement lifestyle.

The inflection point came when my wife joined me in early retirement in 2014. We made a pact when I left in 2012 that if I still felt the water was warm by the time she turned 34, she’d jump on in as well. There was some initial adjusting we had to do as we weren’t used to seeing each other 24/7. But we made things work and she’s now the CFO/COO of our company. We both get the intellectual challenge of doing something exciting while also having the ability to spend more time raising a family. I could not ask for a better life partner.

2) You won’t believe you worked so hard and took so much risk.

Looking back, I find it crazy I on average worked 60-70 hours a week at my corporate job for 10 years straight out of college, plus an additional 20 – 30 hours a week on the side during my last three years after I launched FinancialSamurai.com. It’s no wonder I had so much chronic pain in my back, jaw, elbow, and foot! When you’re desperate to change your life, you tend to do everything you can to achieve your goals. Nowadays, I feel working 25 hours a week on things I enjoy is the ideal amount of time for maximum happiness.

Looking back, it seems incredibly risky to take on a $1,220,000 mortgage at the age of 28.  After purchase, I could have been easily laid off or fired from my highly cyclical finance job. Further, after the $304,000 (20%) downpayment, I was left with no cash buffer for emergencies. I actually had to borrow some money from my grandfather to seal the deal in December 2004. I paid him back a couple months later with interest once I got my bonus in February 2005.

What also surprises me about my housing purchase back then is that 10 years later (2014), I bought a 18% cheaper house with a much smaller mortgage, despite being ~8X wealthier! Normal folks would have probably upgraded to a nicer house in a fancier neighborhood. Not us. We wanted to move to the western part of San Francisco where we could see the ocean and avoid the madding crowds.

Today, I would never invest $60,000 in a single private company like I did in Bulldog Gin as a 29 year old, especially not if the company was led by a first time entrepreneur. Today, the maximum I’d ever invest in an individual company is $25,000 because I’ve seen way too many failed businesses to be an angel investor anymore. Being naive allows you to take more risks!

As a retiree, I like taking minimal risk. Give me a bond that holds its value and pays a 4% or higher gross yield a year and I’m happy. Life is better when you don’t expect too much.

Work hard when you are younger because you won’t want to when you are older. Take many calculated risks when you are younger because you won’t have the guts to do so when you’re older.

3) Following your passion no longer becomes cliché. 

“Follow your passion, and the money will come” is bad advice for most people. Instead, it’s much better to pursue a field you like that’s in high demand so you can build your financial empire and get out before you become too old and bitter to change.

As a retiree, you’ve presumably optimized your budget, track your finances like a hawk, earn enough passive income to cover your expenses, and have some side hustle to fill any income or time gaps. Once your finances are set you can easily pursue what you love. If you pursue hard enough, money might eventually come rolling in.

For the first two years, Financial Samurai hardly made any money. I remember high-fiving myself whenever I made $10 bucks! But that was OK because I had a steady job and some passive income. Once I left work, my online income grew rapidly because I was in love with what I did.

Today, my online income is greater than my passive income. On a weekly basis my wife and I pinch each other’s butt cheeks to remind ourselves how lucky we are to have such an unanticipated income stream. Each year we keep thinking it’ll go away, yet so far it continues to be the best performing asset.

There’s no greater professional joy than making money in an activity you’d do for free. Therefore, work on that passion project while you have a job, especially if you don’t particular like what you do.

4) You’ll naturally find your groove. 

Besides the fear of running out of money in retirement (totally overblown), boredom and loneliness are the other fears many retirees deal with, especially those on the younger end of the spectrum. For so long, we’ve been conditioned to hang out with other people with day jobs. The reality is, there’s a huge ocean of people who work irregular hours and who make money doing irregular things. If you go on Meetup.com, you’ll instantly find a group that meets your interest.

Since retiring, I’ve met a plethora of other early retirees who earn income from their pensions, rental properties, dividend investments, and businesses. Further, there are plenty of people who don’t work traditional jobs and are living wonderful lives. Why else do you think big city streets are always packed during the middle of the day?

Don’t fear boredom. If you were motivated enough to retire early, you will be motivated enough to keep busy doing the things that interest you most. Many early retirees I talk to are even busier than while they were working!

5) You’ll experience a next level of happiness. 

After the post, Scraping By On $500K went bonkers, a newish blogger asked whether it was easier dealing with trolls the longer you’re online. I was surprised by the question because I hadn’t considered anyone who disliked my article to be a troll. Rather, I thought it fascinating to observe the different types of responses. Several readers also left comments asking whether I was doing OK. OK? I felt so energized that I decided to write a follow up post about peoples’ comments on my post! See: A $500K Redo: How One Couple Got Their Mojo Back!

If I was still working or in the first two years of early retirement, I think I’d probably feel highly agitated by those authors who came from tremendous privilege twisting my message because in those days I was less confident in myself. But today, I’m ecstatic that anybody is bothering to talk about my stuff. It’s an honor I’ll never take for granted. It’s why I still comment all the time on much smaller sites who show some love.

The day you decide you have enough is the day you’ll catch yourself smiling for no good reason. It’s the same reason why it’s very difficult to tell other people to f*ck off once you have f*ck you money. You already feel bad for the person hating on you because something in his life is bothering him. There’s no need to make him feel any worse by arguing.

The longer you survive early retirement, the happier you become. And when you reach the point where you’re no longer counting your pennies, wondering whether you’ll be able to make it until your 401k pays out, your happiness will explode!

Don’t Forget Why You’re Working So Hard

Rich or poor, never forget your WHY. As long as you are clear on your reasons for why you’re making all these sacrifices, life gets easier.

Since I was about 32, I’ve had this vision of one day being a stay at home dad who could provide for his wife and child. I want to be the dad who has no problems staying up all night to swaddle, change diapers, and soothe his baby so mom can consistently get 2-3 hours of sleep between feedings. I want to be that dad who takes his baby for a stroll in the park in the middle of a weekday. I want to be the dad who watches every single one of his kid’s soccer game at 3pm because there’s no place he’d rather be than rooting for his son. Not having a job is the only way I could achieve this vision.

Early retirement is no longer about me, but about everybody I care most deeply about. There’s nothing more valuable than having an abundance of time to spend with family.

Related:

The Dark Side Of Early Retirement

Life After Financial Independence

How To Retire Early And Never Have To Work Again

Readers, has having a family motivated you to improve your health and financial well-being? All I think about now is earning enough so that I can spend all my time being a super dad, instead of being an employee or an entrepreneur. Any other retirees have thoughts they’d like to share?

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/early-retirement-five-years-later-reflections-on-life-after-work/