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#huge this is me trying energy
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Lupe trying her best with the fork ball hoping to not be a disappointment for the team and Dove even if she was hurting because of the injury... it resonates with me so much
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deimcs · 4 months
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SHADOWHEART ROMANCE in Baldur's Gate III (2023)
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puppyeared · 8 months
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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tippenfunkaport · 2 months
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Bow: Whoa. Glimmer: That is the Failsafe? Bow: It's bigger than I thought it'd be. How are we gonna get that to the Heart?
Bow 🤝 Glimmer under the impression this entire huge structure is the failsafe
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really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).
#storyrambles#it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance.#this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun#flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun#but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean#‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid#I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no.#‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask.#‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours.#‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works.#sorry for the rant im just. tired.#you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard#and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves?#yeah. that’s this friend here.#usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit#and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them#I am not going to play along.#UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’#I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me#it’s uncomfortable.#also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID#will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I?#(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.)#I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day.#‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’#first of all. that’s different?#secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves#also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so.#ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible.#but UGHHHHHH
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maaaxx · 5 months
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dont get me wrong i am more excited for this atla remake and the inevitable renaissance part 2 than i have ever been for anything in my life. however im also terrified of what changes this is going to bring to the fandom. Obviously the 2020 renaissance brought a lot of new and good things (zukka, a ton of amazing fics, etc). But more people joining the fandom means new people joining ao3 and interacting with fics and authors and artists too. Even in the few years that i've been active in fandom i've noticed a dramatic shift in how people interact with artists and authors especially. And I can't see this not getting worse as more people whose main social media experiences include tik tok and instagram coming to ao3 and tumblr. Like these people are used to content creators who revolve their content around what their audience wants because its their job, and I know this isnt going to translate well to the culture around ao3 writers especially when unconsolidated comments and 'advise' is already a problem for a ton of authors. And for people who dont understand that fics and fanart are supposed be transactional in the sense that you need to leave comments and kudos and reblog stuff when they're used to simply liking something *maybe* being enough. Idk whats going on with other fandoms, but I do know that these things have been an ongoing issue for the atla fandom and like I said, I can't imagine having another 'renaissance' and this stuff not getting worse.
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jrueships · 2 months
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the monthly apathy is back, rlly sorry if i said smthing to u and then u say smthing back and i don't respond for like a thousand years only to spam u after it passes and then u respond bcs ure awesome and i go on an unspoken vow of silence for yet another thousand years and the cycle just continues
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im so fucking mad i was gonna finish making the raspberry tart today only to find out my sister who KNEW i was gonna make a tart made fucking almond horns this morning and used all the fucking almond flour and eggs and only left enough for like half of what i needed
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ghost-opal · 10 months
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oh yeah i did this a while back its still one of my favorite homestuck fanarts even if it is kind of plain lol the barely visible image of Paul is just there because i google image searched "alien" and couldnt stop laughing at this image, i happened to have this paint tool SAI/Photoshop project open so i was like haha why not fuck it i'll put in a comedic skewed UFO png too, it works
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yeah this guy is still really funny looking. i haven't even watched the movie but i saw the trailer and he makes a pose like this while saying "its probing time" or something and i think thats really funny. isnt it so funny that an alien is acting really vulgar
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pagesofkenna · 26 days
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i wanted to make a post about a thing but the more i think about it the more i want to say and it's just going to end up being a big ramble essay, so instead i'll just give the thesis statement, thusly:
as the #1 Ratgrinders Apologist (self-appointed), of course they're the final boss fight to the death. i expected nothing less and the people trying to make discourse about it are ignoring the entire context of this being a Dungeons and Dragons game
#they're not playing 'discuss our traumas and and try to help strangers grow: the game'#they're playing 'murder people for getting in our way: the game'#which i know is now me being snubbing about D&D as a game but like. siobhan said it: theyve committed SO much murder#did the lunch lady in episode 2 deserve to be murdered? did the skater dwarves deserved to be murdered?#did the monsters the school sicced on the kids in their Last Stand deserve to be slaughtered like that??#its literally the name of the game!#the two things that are turning this into a bigger essay are 1) me being actually very disappointed in Burrow's End with how the players#just did not want at all to engage with the moral greyness aabria was trying to bring into the story#it was clear that was a direction she wanted to explore and i wanted to see it explored#but even OUT of characters the cast just would NOT engage or acknowledge the validity of that direction#and there was only so much aabria could do without being labeled a killjoy... because D&D often ISN'T a game for reckoning with#the justification of your character's actions! its a game for killing giant bears and saving the town from cultists!!#baked into the foundation of the game conceit is 'you are the hero and you are saving the day ergo your actions are Right and Just'#thing 2) i just listened to that WWW fireside the other day where brennan goes on about how combat does not get in the way#of story in dnd. that whole stove metaphor? and it rankled me so much lol because like aabria finally says after that:#yeah you bring your own food to the stove but when what you've got is a stove. the food you make is GOING to get cooked#combat and fighting and killing is baked into the system from its foundation. acting like D&D or even just d20 (the system)#is a resolution engine that also allows fighting and not a fighting engine that also allows other skills is. wishful thinking i think#and to bring this back to the POINT: of COURSE they're going to kill the rat grinders! because it's fun!#because thats how you resolve conflict in a combat game! straight up i honestly believe a lengthy conversation trying to win the kids over#would have been a weird energy to end the season on! it would have been a let down!#it would have been a huge tonal shift. because the tone you bring to a D&D game is 'killing this is fine actually'#and if you dont like that you /dont/ play D&D. its not a value judgment#i LOVE getting into moral implications and justifications and ive gotta tone it down when i run D&D games because it can kill the vibe#anyway. i said i wasnt going to write the whole essay and im not. but i did write most of the rant oops
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a-flickering-soul · 6 months
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Favorite easy recipe?
i love this QUESTION!!! whenever idk what to eat i'll make this lentil soup and it is GREAT it has protein and veggies and it is so good and adaptable and good for meal prep!! i'll put a picture of it here and add the recipe below the cut.
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adapted from this recipe
Ingredients: 1 cup red lentils (I’m serious, JUST one cup, it’ll make 3-4 servings), 3 cups low-salt chicken stock or water, mirepoix (diced carrot, celery, onion), 2 hot Italian sausages, a handful of kale (washed, stripped from the stems, and torn into pieces), oil, salt, whole spices (I used cumin, mustard seeds, and black pepper) and 3 tbsp lemon juice
Saute the mirepoix in oil until onions turn translucent, then add the sausage (removed from its casing), break it up, and let it get a little browned. Add in the stock/water and lentils (I added in the kale here too since it’s tough and needs a while to cook) and bring to a boil, then turn it down to a simmer and let it go for 15-30 minutes depending on how quickly your lentils cook, stirring every now and then. Somewhere around here, check for salt and add as much as you want. Right after you take it off the heat, add in the lemon juice. During the last 5 minutes or so, take some oil, heat it up, and fry the whole spices to make tadka (infused oil + bloomed spices). Make sure you keep an eye on it and keep it moving so nothing burns (takes about a minute, should smell really good). Serve with some bread if you want and a drizzle of tadka on top!
Kale can be substituted with any leafy green vegetable (spinach and Swiss chard would probably be really good), the tadka can totally be omitted, and the sausage can be swapped for a nice ham hock, chorizo, etc, or omitted entirely to make it vegan :) also I added extra lemon juice bc I like sour things but u don’t need to. This is also good with some hot sauce and/or Greek yogurt on top too!
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waitineedaname · 11 months
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anyway. back to my regularly scheduled idiot posting. I got left alone with my thoughts too long earlier and started thinking about greed and how he's positioned between the other homunculi and humans. none of the other homunculi show off their ouroboros tattoos as much as he does. they don't particularly hide their tattoos (except when in disguise/not counting wrath) but greed LOVES showing off his tattoo, it's the first thing he does when introducing himself constantly. he's also the first one to proudly declare he's a homunculus, despite having distanced himself from the rest of the homunculi
at the same time, he immediately draws an association between himself and human beings. he describes himself as an artificially made human, which is the literal definition of what a homunculus is, and his willingness to explain how he's not that far from humans (his body structurally being the same as a human, describing himself as sturdier than most but not truly immortal) is what allows ed to figure out his weakness. meanwhile the other homunculi would literally rather die than position themselves as at all similar to humans. this is consistent with the fact that all the other homunculi, at best, look down on humanity, and at worst, feel intense contempt for humans, meanwhile greed seems to be amused by humans, if not outright fond of them
idk i just think it's interesting that the rest of the homunculi completely divorce themselves from humanity and position themselves as superior, but greed is the one to actually embrace the definition of homunculus as an artificial human
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cephalonheadquarters · 2 months
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Damn. I'm free
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crazy-lazy-elder-sims · 6 months
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Recovering from a massive art block that lasted years is literally making me extremely sad cause like while im patient with myself when im by myself and i know im Gonna struggle before i get back to my full prime and i gotta give myself the time and space to recover that its not gonna be an enjoyable process from the get go etc i still get so fucking disheartened with myself when i log on to Tumblr and people are making such beautiful art so fast and are having the time of thier lives with constant flow of new ideas its sometimes too much like i just went into the bathroom and had a cry cause of this
How in the world am i gonna recover if it all just makes me sad :(
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notetaeker · 5 months
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my girl rlly asked me to write her a recommendation letter the day before its due i asked her for her personal statement so I could write it in a more personal way and homegirl sent me a statement that said 'i have no passion for anything but college is my opportunity to be passionate' 😭😭💀
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criscura · 5 months
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I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.
I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.
It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.
I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....
#written from my bed as I'm almost crying from exhaustion and hopelessness#I'm PMSing and I had a really tiring day so i know this feels worse than normal#but when you've been struggling to fall asleep for months because waking up means being disappointed in yourself#for everything you failed to do the day before and everything you know you're going to fail to do again today#it's really hard not to feel like shit about yourself#trying to be constantly hopeful but never living up to your expectations#and then the few times that you do you completely crash for days#and then the only way to not crash is to have your big accomplishment be 'i went to the gym' 'i took a shower' 'i answered a message'#and just. again#to have the be the way you're living for months and months and months#it's so embarrassing to admit how little i can do and it makes me so ashamed knowing how much I've done and see what everyone else around me#is constantly doing#and then when i do share things it just kind of dies off because I've been too exhausted to maintain most relationships#which ALSO makes me feel like absolute fucking shit because i think people think i just don't care about them#when it's really that it takes me hours to get out of bed and I'm lucky if i remember to eat before 4#and I hate so much of myself and see it as such a huge waste of time that it uses up almost all the energy i have to take care of myself#but if i don't do it I'll just hate myself even more#i know i keep on complaining about this but I'm. I'm trying to fix it#i have BEEN trying to fix it actively for so fucking long#but it's.....i think I've stopped believing anything i do has significant worth and it makes it hard to keep trying#and i know people will read this and say take something for it but when you're only interactions with medications and drugs#are one experience that scarred you so bad you didn't go to the doctors for ten years and one experience so bad#that you couldn't even explain it at first without HARDCORE disassociating#it's hard to convince yourself that anything will ever be any better and that it won't make everything intensely worse for years
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