#hunk is so done

[autisticlancemcclain]

pt one

———

Hunk’s phone rings. Loudly. Since he is the pinnacle of grace and benevolence, he spares one hand, eyes still trained firmly on the other hand pressing a screwdriver onto a delicate wire joint to hold it steady, to blindly pat about on his workbench until it closes around the device. He jabs a finger on the screen until the ringing ceases.

“Yah,” he says, not bothering with hellos. He’s busy.

“Handle your person,” Shiro hisses, then immediately hangs up.

Hunk snorts. Someone’s nap was disturbed.

He turns back to his project, sighing as he wraps it up. He doesn’t have long. If he can just solder this last wire, get that last connection in, it’ll be way easier to —

Lance kicks open his door, walking in screaming.

“Hello,” Hunk greets idly. And largely sarcastically, he will admit. Lance continues his wordless yell, vocalizing at the very top of his lungs, muffled only when he throws himself on Hunk’s bed and buries himself in Hunk’s pillow. “Shiro tells me you’re terrorizing people.”

“His skull is fucking solid!” Lance screeches.

Hunk does not need to ask to whom Lance is referring. He does, however, pause what he’s doing immediately, spinning around slowly in his chair with his fingertips pressed together like every eighties cartoon villain. His smile can only really be described as gleeful. Perhaps diabolical if he stretches.

He is entirely unapologetic.

“And what happened this time,” Hunk questions, adopting his very best therapy voice. It must work, because Lance shoots up, face bright candy red, wicked snarl pulling on his lips. When he speaks again his voice is carefully controlled and dripping with rage.

“It is beyond hinting, Kealoha. I have practically laid myself at his feet and begged him to ravish me, and he still does not get it. I am going to fucking wring his neck.”

Hunk hums thoughtfully. “Well, that is probably what it’s going to take.” At Lance’s raised eyebrow, he rushes to clarify — “Throwing yourself at his feet, I mean. Don’t strangle him. At least not before I can see it.”

Lance groans loudly. This time when he flops back on Hunk’s mattress he is more miserable than rageful, like a scolded chihuahua. Hunk considers telling him that and then remembers that he’s quite fond of his limbs where they are.

“I know he likes me,” Lance grumbles. “He’s just a dumbass. Like, yesterday he had to go into a healing pod because I did those leg stretches in front of him and he walked into the wall and broke his nose. And last week he said I smelled good and no straight people say stupid shit like that. And when I flirted with that princess on our last mission I was lowkey worried he was gonna jump her, or something. He went all big bad Galra growly and everything.”

Hunk inclines his head. “This is true.”

It is true. Well, he didn’t know the broken nose thing — although that’s hilarious and he will be sharing that information with the class when prudent — and he hasn’t witnessed many of the specific brands of Keith and Lance dumbassery, since they spend so much time on their own, but he, like, has eyes. Keith wants Lance so bad it’s actually embarrassing. Hunk’s not one to generally agree with Lance, since it’s his God-given right to humble him at any opportunity, but that boy is oblivious unlike any other. He understands that Keith is emotionally stunted due to the ordeal of being orphaned, and to Keith he leaves his highest sympathies, but also Jesus Christ, dude. How many times are you going to be wrought with jealousy before you go oh, duh, I might be in love with this goober.

Maybe Shiro hasn’t had the talk with him yet. Hunk makes a mental note to follow up.

“—it’s just that I don’t understand,” Lance laments.

Hunk blinks back to the conversation, where Lance has clearly taken it upon himself to wax poetic and inspire woe upon himself once more.

Hunk stills. An idea wiggles its delightful little way through his brain. He holds up his phone, pointed at Lance’s prone and desolate form.

God, he loves his brain. He loves meddling. He loves love and life, basically.

“I just,” Lance sighs, and to his endless credit he sounds genuinely torn-up, for all his melodrama. “I wish I could just tell him, I guess. In some way. I wish I could get it through his fool head that he is loved by me particularly in such a way that I want to hold hands and kiss and generally be nuisances of the affectionate kind. You know, romance.”

Hunk hums with great understanding. “I see. And say you were not plagued with chronic anxiety and an unfortunate tendency to glow in your face region if someone so much as insinuates in any capacity that they care about you — what would you say to this paramour of yours?”

Lance tilts his head consideringly. His eyes are big and brown and pouty, like a scorned puppy. It’s adorable, in a pathetic kind of way. Hunk cannot help but pat him delicately on the knee.

“I suppose,” he huffs, “that I would just say it outright. Keith Kogane, you magnanimous dumbass, would it kill you to ask me out like a man. Something like that.”

“You could also ask him out like a man,” Hunk points out.

“Choke and die,” Lance responds, predictably. Hunk pays him again.

Hunk stops the recording and tucks his phone back in his pocket. He will decide how to handle the situation shortly.

…After he makes several copies and distributes them to the team. Obviously. Hunk’s excellent advice and matchmaking skills isn’t free, after all.

Lance whines again. “Why is my life so sick and twisted.”

Hunk chooses against reminding Lance that they are in the very beginning of the process of dismantling the worst tyranny the universe has ever seen, and of all the things in his life to be sick and twisted his dweeby romance is probably not one of them. Because that would be a huge buzzkill, obviously. Instead he delicately and a touch condescendingly pats Lance on the head. Lance leans into the touch, because he is a massive sweetheart and dork and nerd, and Hunk can’t help but smile widely.

“All will work out,” he says ominously. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Blah,” Lance says.

Hunk smiles wider.

[existwound]

someone get him out of there

[heynhay]

merry Christmas klancers 🎅

[apamates]

RGU, ep. 23: Qualifications of a Duelist | Fool's Fate, ch. 18: Ice

[justaz]

wrjrithi gon the greind THE COICES THE VOSIBCE THE COICESSSS

haha ha haha what if i rewrote. all. of voltron.

[lyxanislive]

I love the way you draw shiro and allura!!!!!!! They’re adorable!!!! Shiro especially is my favorite :D!!! he looks so happy!!!!!!! And allura!!!!!!!

Thank You Sockdooe for your kind coments!!!!

The showrunners did every character so dirty - the least I can do is make sure Shiro's hair is floofy

I hope whatever Shallura landed (or lands) on your Birthday is a good one for you!

Here's some linework of an upcoming one!!!

[sotongueincheek]

The OC Season 4 Fix-its: Ryan & Taylor

I’m the biggest Ryan and Taylor warrior and defender. No one can tell me shit about them. They are my favorite pairing on The OC, and objectively Ryan’s healthiest relationship. Aside from the “Marissa or bust” and “Anyone but Taylor” crowds who would never get on board with them anyway, the biggest critique I see about Ryan and Taylor that I can concede to is that they were rushed. Given season 4 only had 16 episodes to move storylines forward and wrap things up, one has to choose to buy into it or not. I chose to buy in. But I do wish we had had more time with them, so I thought about ways this could’ve easily been done that might’ve appeased Ryan and Taylor skeptics. 

I have two storyline fix-its for season 4 that I would’ve preferred to see in regards to Ryan and Taylor. Before I get into those, I want to acknowledge that these likely would’ve never happened because TPTB wanted to maintain a lighter, more humorous tone for season 4, and my ideas could veer into a more serious place. That said, here we go…

Cut the Frank and Julie romance 

Perhaps my least favorite storyline in season 4 is the romance subplot with Frank and Julie (and Frank’s whole redemption arc). It was so unnecessary and I’ll never comprehend why that was the creative choice they decided to make. In my opinion, it was inevitable that the show would officially bring Frank into the fold. And I would’ve had the story focus on Ryan’s relationship with Frank. They needed to give Ryan a storyline after he made peace with Marissa’s death that could stand alone, separate from his romance with Taylor. It could’ve been Ryan coming to terms with Frank coming back in his life, whether it’s finding closure, acceptance, forgiveness, or something else. 

Cut the Henri-Michel storyline

I don’t hate this storyline and the actor was fun. It does help push Ryan to be more expressive, but I’m not convinced this subplot develops Taylor’s character in any significant way. Honestly, I can argue that it regresses her a bit. Instead, we could’ve used those two episodes spent on Henri-Michel to have Taylor deal with her neurosis due to her mom’s emotional abuse, and have her reckon with her relationship with Veronica. We get a little bit of this in the season, but I would’ve happily watched this play out in a more in-depth way. 

These two things give Ryan and Taylor separate and interesting storylines that run parallel to one another. This would’ve been the perfect way to have them connect even more and emphasize where they do share common ground. Anyway, it’s been 21 years and I still think about this a lot, so I had to purge it from my brain and put it somewhere else. Some fanfic writer, go use this as a prompt or something.

[arcaneyouth]

post office task complete despite everything.

[smilepaint]

farlyns rosacea is everything to me <3 her cheeks are forever rosey and she chooses not to cover it with makeup and her girlfriend thinks its adorable and i think about it a normal amount

[wingsmadeforflying]

Mkay, FIC REC TIME, PEOPLE.

This is. So. Fucking. Good. I'm not even half way.

Voltron fic, canon divergence, technically canon complacent (it's canon there's multiple universes in the Series, it's mentioned, it's there, CANON COMPLACENT.), bitter exes/reluctant fathers Adam and Shiro, Klance (per usual), Garrison plot!!

The plot is slightly altered from canon, starting with the Kurbos mission returning safely. BUT THE PLOT IS DIFFERENT, BUT THE SAME, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I am going. FERAL. Over this fic.

IT STARTED. IN 2018. AND ENDED. IN 2023. IT SURVIVED THE PLAGUE.

You do not understand, I love this fic.

[autisticlancemcclain]

part one

———

Leandro Esposita-McClain, I am in love with you.

Keith’s voice, staticky and muffled, rings through his brain for hours. He barely even moves from his seat, staring into space and trying to remind himself how breathing works.

I am in love with you.

Anyone with eyes can tell that he’s hot.

It’s always the fuckin’ pretty ones that get me.

A confession. Obvious, unmistakable, clear and concise and detailed, even, maybe more words that Lance has ever heard Keith say in one sitting.

Figures, of course, that Lance wasn’t meant to hear it.

The second they land on that night’s rest stop planet, Lance bolts out of his lion, barely remembering to keep the latch open so Kaltenecker can let herself out to graze. He sprints past the Black Lion, who has yet to open her maw, and careens around Blue, barely managing to straighten himself up before he brains himself on her massive paw. He hears her cackling in his head, and doesn’t even bother rolling his eyes. He runs up Yellow’s barely-open hatch and climbs up the stairs on all fours like an animal, tumbling into the cockpit and sprawling in front of Hunk in a heap, panting, suddenness making Hunk yelp.

“Je-sus, Lance,” he scolds, hand pressed to his heart. “You scared me.”

Lance doesn’t say anything, too busy desperately trying to gulp in some air. He’s obviously pretty practiced in cardio, being a paladin and all, but he wouldn’t be surprised to discover that he just broke several Olympic records.

(The breathing struggles may also be from the Keith thing. But that’s embarrassing, so he’s just going to pretend it’s from running.)

“We landed, like, forty seconds ago,” Hunk says after a moment. “Did you fucking teleport here? Is Kosmo around?”

At the mention of the space wolf, Lance wheezes, pressing both hands to his face to attempt to cover it as it flames. It’s no use — he can’t see Hunk through his pressed-shut eyes, but he can feel the wicked grin his best friend is sporting at the mention of Keith-by-proxy.

“I need help,” Lance says quickly, before Hunk can start in with the teasing. There’s no escaping the teasing, exactly, but he doesn’t need to leave any more opportunities.

“Do tell.”

Lance peeks through his fingers. Hunk has arranged his features in a very particular, pinched expression, which Lance knows from years of experience means he is fighting down his commentary with every inch of his strength.

“Keith,” he says hesitantly, “may have just said something along the lines of a confession. To me.” Before Hunk can say anything, Lance rushes to finish: “But I don’t think it was on purpose.”

Hunk exhales for a very long time. “Explain yourself very carefully.”

Lance pulls himself upright, sitting with his back against the wall of the cockpit and his knees pulled under his chin. “So I was just chilling in Red, right,” he starts, picking at his sleeve. “And I get this audio call from Keith, outta nowhere, and before I can say anything he starts talking? But not to me. To Kosmo. And at first I was like, okay. This is a Keith and Kosmo call. Awesome. But then he kept talking to Kosmo only, and I realised he was talking about me, and he said —” suddenly Lance realises he hasn’t taken a breath in God knows how long and inhales a deep, frantic one, flopping out his legs and staring at his friend with wide eyes — “Hunk, he said he was in love with me.”

Hunk’s eyes widen just as big as Lance’s. “Dude!”

“I know!”

“Dude!”

“I know!”

“No, dude!” Hunk insists, gripping his armrests and leaning forward. “This is awesome! This means you can make a move! And I can win a lot of money!” At Lance’s raised eyebrow, he clears his throat. “But, uh, obviously your whole crush thing is priority numero uno. I’m just saying that if you wanted to make some sort of gesture in front of everyone else and in the next week, that would be awesome. For you, of course.”

“Uh-huh.” Lance sighs, dragging his legs back up and hugging his knees, resting his cheek on top of them. “I don’t know. I’m probably not going to do anything about it, really.”

Hunk frowns. “How come?”

“Well, because. It wasn’t a real confession. Maybe it was a prank, or something. I mean, I don’t think Keith’s that mean, but who knows what was really going on? I overheard him say some pretty incriminating stuff, sure, but I don’t know the context. I don’t know the situation. Maybe he was roleplaying. Maybe he was making up scenarios because he was bored. I don’t want to misinterpret things, you know. It could ruin our friendship.”

He’s my friend, I don’t want to ruin things.

Hunk holds up a finger. “Excuse me for a moment.” He stands up and walks calmly out of the cockpit, jogging down the stairs to Yellow’s barracks and storage compartments. Lance tries not to feel too hurt at his best friend’s sudden departure in his greatest time of need.

A few minutes later, Hunk returns, holding his pillow in his hand. Lance tilts his head in confusion — was his butt hurting, or something? He supposes that makes sense. This space road trip has a lot of long stretches, after all. Maybe his butt was so achey that he couldn’t focus on Lance’s tragic situation. Well, Hunk is kind of caked up, but the butt is a muscle, so Lance supposes it can get cramps, too —

Wham!

Hunk clears his throat, brushing imaginary dust off the pillow he just whacked Lance in the face with. Hard! Lance is so shocked he can’t even muster up a single thought, everything going kind of static in his head.

“That,” Hunk says, casually sitting back down in his seat and holding the pillow like he’s prepared to strike again, “was the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and I’m including my own dumbassery in that. I’m including Pidge’s peanut rant in that. You have truly accomplished a feat, my friend.”

“What.”

“I mean, he said it out loud,” Hunk continues. “Out loud, with his mouth, no one making him, he said he was in love with you. Said your full name and everything. ‘Leandro Esposita-McClain, I am in love with you.’ Those were his words And you are sitting on my floor and working yourself into a frenzy.” He tuts. For a brief moment Lance is unsure if Hunk has somehow been replaced with Mrs. Garrett, that’s how much he’s resembling his mother. “What foolishness.”

“I get it,” Lance grumbles, rubbing his face sulkily. “You didn’t have to smack me, you meanie.”

Hunk leans over and kisses Lance forehead with quite a lot of patronization. Lance leans into it anyway.

“I really did.”

“Whatever.”

He stays with Hunk while everyone else unloads, until he hears loud, frantic barking, and a panicked voice screeching after it. Seconds later, there’s a flash of bright light, and Kosmo appears in the Yellow Lion’s cockpit, bounding at Lance with full speed and knocking him right over. Lance laughs wrapping both arms around the big dog as much as he can and squeezing.

“Hell-o, you darling boy!”

Kosmo yips loudly, and Lance doesn’t have time for so much as one more word before his stomach drops, and his vision goes white, and the next thing he knows he’s falling from the sky, blipped out of Yellow’s cockpit. He screeches at the top of his lungs, wondering why the hell Kosmo has teleported him in the air, but before he can hit the ground, a voice calls out “Woah!” and he’s caught by a pair of strong arms.

When he opens his eyes again, having squeezed them shut when he realized he was falling, he locks eyes with Keith. It takes him three seconds too long to realise he’s held in Keith’s arms, bridal-style, and Keith’s face is bright red. He yelps again — nope nope nope nope nope, he is not being cradled to Keith’s chest, not happening — and stuffs a blurry memory of a strong chest and the scent of sweat and smoke and the sound of running footsteps back into the recesses of his mind where it belongs. He twists out of Keith’s grip, or at least tries to, but Keith has a strong hold on him, so when Lance’s squirms he tilts their sight forward —

“Lance, what — quit squirming!”

— but it’s too late, they’re already heading to the ground, and neither has their hands free to break their fall. Just before they hit the strange pink grass, Lance feels Keith’s hand snap over to his head, tucking it towards his neck, instinctively protecting him from getting hurt. They hit the ground with an oof, Lance on his back, Keith crookedly on top of him, face planted directly in the middle of Lance’s chest.

It takes Lance a second to fully comprehend their situation, their position, and when he does he makes this horrible kind of squeaking sound in the back of his throat. Keith makes a similarly embarrassed throaty sound, scrambling to get off of him, but their arms are kind of tangled so he only manages to chuck himself more off balance, just barely catching himself by planting a hand right next to Lance’s face and stopping his forehead millimetres away from Lance’s.

Both of them freeze. Pinned, Lance just stares at the face in front of him (the crooked nose, broken three too many times, the strong brow, dark indigo eyes like none Lance has ever seen before, high cheekbones, flush with humiliation, the new purple scar; every part of his face, every detail, like he’s commuting it to memory, like he’s devouring the image of it after being starved too long). Keith’s lips are parted slightly, and Lance traces the defined cupid’s bow with his eyes, noticing how chapped they are, imagining how rough they would feel.

Anyone with eyes can tell that he’s hot. Seriously hot. And…leggy.

“I think you’re hot, too,” Lance blurts, and then immediately wishes for death. It doesn’t help that he hears both the sound of a camera shutter and several coins changing hands. (And Hunk’s very obvious crow of victory and loud “Thank you, Lance! I’ll give you a percentage for your service!”)

“What,” Keith croaks, which is generally a bad reaction to a confession but makes sense in this circumstance.

Lance clears his throat, still hyper aware of the way Keith’s body is streamlined on top of his, the way one gloved hand is still curved around his neck.

“I heard you,” he clarifies. “In the lion. With Kosmo. You must have butt-dialed me, or something. You said you loved me.”

He sees the exact moment it clicks for Keith, because face begins to actually turn pumice, and Lance can feel the heat pouring off of him. “I must have —” He makes a cut-off, aborted noise and hangs his head, slightly, like if he closes his eyes for a second he can wish away the entire situation.

Which. Fair. Lance can’t blame him.

“I am giving that dog away to a local charity,” he grumbles.

Lance snorts. “As if. You love that dog more than anything. Also, I’ll kill you if you even try.”

Keith glances back up at him, corner of his mouth twitching, and laughter bubbles up out of them at the same time, half-hysterical and half-tense and half-exhilarated and half something Lance can’t name. Two hundred percent intensity. Lance goes hoarse, and Keith loses the ability to hold his own head up, resting his forehead on Lance’s collarbone.

“I can’t believe I’m going to have to tell people you confessed via butt-dial, you goober!”

“You could lie and say I took you on a really romantic first date?” Keith suggests, grinning cheekily.

Lance snorts. “Not on your life.”

Keith sighs. “Yeah, didn’t think so.” He finally climbs off of Lance’s person, offering Lance a hand and pulling them both to their feet. Once Lance is upright, Keith stills, visibly deciding on something, then yanks the hand clutched around Lance’s backwards, making Lance stumbling forward. He steadies him with a hand on his waist, then untangles the other one and rests it on Lance’s cheek. He holds it there for a moment, letting Lance figure out his intentions.

Lance face burns as he understands the implications, what Keith is trying to do. He glances down at Keith’s chapped lips, thinking again of their roughness, imagining the scratch of them against his own, the scratch of the slight stubble around Keith’s chin in the late evening, the tickle of his hair on his cheeks.

“Although this part is kind of smooth,” he admits quietly, eyes half-lidded. He brings a shaking hand up to rest on the one Keith has around his hip, squeezing gently.

Keith’s lips quirk up. “Point for me, then, I guess.” He leans in, no hesitation this time, and presses his mouth to Lance’s; soft, searching, gentle and curious.

Lance melts.

Lance Esposita-McClain, I am in love with you, Keith had said, accidentally.

And I am in love with you, Keith Akira Kogane, Lance thinks, on purpose.

[thxgrxmrexpxr]

HUNK as a likable vs difficult person.

My personal opinion: like his morality I think that HUNK's ability to be likable or difficult falls squarely in neutral waters. He's not a completely reprehensible person, but a lot of his tendencies can be very lacking. He's more blunt than a hammer and pretty callous about expressing himself. But he's not going out of his way to be intentionally cruel.

The footnote I think is necessary for him is that a lot of those difficult traits are not by choice but are directly the result of trauma.

HUNK has seen the worst humanity can offer up and has walked away from extreme violence time and time again. These experiences have made him a lot more bitter and pessimistic about the world at large and very distrusting of others. I don't think he's manipulative or aggressive deliberately as much as he relies on it to keep others at arms length.

I do think at his core HUNK wants to be a likable person and likely began his career with the express desire of wanting to do the "right" thing. But years of brutality have worn him down and caused him to perceive himself as someone who is simply too "broken" to be good anymore.

tagged by: @mxlevolence

tagging: Anyone who wants to do it

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Does any one have a manual to an Olivetti Linea 101? Or know what the German word for margin is.

[threegunbrainrot]

I look at the 98 anime with a fond fascination. It’s based off of only the original couple issues of Trigun plus like I want to say the first 4? Of trimax. And bc of how many things get developed and revealed much more down the line in the manga, it’s so interesting to think about this offshoot of the original source material where things didn’t quite ramp up to the same scale but still got to the heart of things anyways, where everyone’s backstories played out just a little to the left and led to a similar but different tale. Trimax is definitely my favorite, bc just everything about it is so well done to me, but 98 holds its own unique spot in my favor

i definitely agree anon ur So right

it's practically a branching timelines situation, where everything is so, SO close to being the same, but thanks to the butterfly effect everything got skewed ever so slightly and now the whole world is just that much more different

call it parallel universes, alternate dimensions, alternate timelines... i really love it all. there's so many specific parts of both trimax and 98 that shine brighter and dimmer than one another. unique pieces of the narrative that were either expounded or brushed aside.

like in 98, meryl didn't want to believe that vash was the legend she was looking for. it was a ridiculous notion that such a friendly, goofy guy could be the bloodthirsty killer she hunted for

but in the manga, she and milly took to it instantly. in fact, they jumped into it with AGGRESSION- actively getting involved in the fighting and PUSHING to calm the situation down. this panel in particular i think sums it up very well lol:

they meet him with confidence and they're not afraid to fire upon others for the sake of collective peace. vash is caught off by how readily he's approached and even defended, in a way. when the automatic reaction to learning his identity is usually either hostility or fear, it makes sense.

and i dont have a convenient shot of any particular moment in 98 that portrayed their early relationship well, but it's easy to see the differences anyway.

instead of steady confidence, meryl met vash with confusion and outright denial for awhile. she and milly both got involved in fewer fights overall i think? but i might be wrong. i won't speak much on this since i don't remember 98 very well, but i get the sense they sought out vash's fights much less in that rendition (at least early on. they went CRAZY toward the end- meryl especially).

and there's countless little differences like this.

so yeah, even if trimax is the source content, 98 is this funky little spinoff that treats vash just a little bit more nicely lmao. the whole thing is a little more watered down, i think; intentionally to make it more palatable. i still love it regardless, of course. it just oozes charm <3

[mariocki]

Peter Wyngarde sprawls around being louche as a self-styled modern day Caesar, Tiberio Magadino, in The Saint: The Man Who Liked Lions (5.8, ITC, 1966)

[applecherry108]

Asking about your VLD rewrite

Blessed be the anon that reads my tags. 🙏

SO,,

First and foremost, black Paladin Lance endgame. Klance endgame. Shiro and Curtis endgame, but Adam is alive and we give Curtis an actual personality and character arc. Allura's not dead, Lotor is good, probably something about whatsherface (the witch).

Alright alright alright, SO,,, Lance is the youngest of his family. His family that suspiciously looks like the other paladins. So in this rewrite, Lance is used to being the mastermind and the scape goat. Siblings want cookies? Lance makes a plan. Mama catches them? Lance takes the dive. You know. Real leadership qualities from a young age.

Cut to the first episode. Lance takes the dive for him, Pidge, and Hunk flunking the flight simulator. Iverson still compares him to Keith. We then cut to Lance at the shooting range, absolutely killing it (so his sharpshooting doesn't come so out of left field). Boom, Veronica's there to give him a pep talk. NOW we can go back to later that night, Lance trying to cheer up Hunk by sneaking out, coming across Pidge yada yada yada.

We're rescuing Shiro now. Keith doesn't remember Lance which INFURIATES him, and we'll learn several seasons later in a flashback that Lance started the whole rivalry to keep Keith out of trouble. He was getting into too many fights with James and was going to get expelled, but Lance, who looked up to Shiro, knew how important Keith's success was to him, so he steps in to play a role. To divert Keith's attention and keep him from fighting James.

And Keith doesn't remember him. AFTER ALL HE DID FOR—

Anyway.

Blah blah blah, Pidge wants to leave, Pidge decides to stay, "PIDGE IS A GIRL?!" Spoiler: Pidge is a transgirl. Later that night, Lance goes to Pidge's room to apologize, that he shouldn't have reacted that way. And is it really okay to keep calling her Pidge? What?, she says. Well, says Lance, communal showers at the Garrison... He just doesn't want to use the wrong name. Pidge tears up. No no, that's just a nickname Matt gave her, but... It wouldn't hurt to call her Katie every now and then. Tearful hug. Big Brother Figure Established.

Alright, I'll be honest, I do not fucking remember a lot of vld. So, uhhh...... skip skip skip, fuck it, we'll keep Shiro clone because it aids one of my plot points. Oh right, Lance has a recurring dream of walking down a hallway with doors on either side and an open door at the end. When he was younger, he'd meet a man in that room, standing in front of a floor-to-ceiling window looking out into space. Now he reaches to open that now-closed door and is awoken by another paladin. He's sleepwalked into the Lions' docking bay. This keeps happening.

They decide to try out for Black's paladin, Lance sits in there too long, a feeling right at his finger tips but just out of reach. Black still appears to choose Keith.

Blah blah blah Lotor And The Ladies™️, Shenanigans™️, Shiro's suddenly back, Keith absolutely fucks off, Pidge goes looking for Matt and doesn't find him. Wholeass thinks he's dead (finds the grave) and we're going to sit with that trauma for a while, fuck you. (he's not dead, but I want this plot point to actually MATTER and not be resolved in 3 seconds).

Keith finds Krolia, AND WE'RE DOING TIME/GRAVITY CORRECTLY GODDAMN IT. So Keith is MIA for months. Voltron hasn't heard from him, the Blades haven't heard from him, but he eventually gets back and he thinks only a few days have past. BECAUSE IN INTENSE GRAVITY TIME MOVES SLOWLY FOR THE PERSON BUT LONGER FOR THE OBSERVER, FUCK YOU!!!!!

So he's NOT "mature" or "grizzled" but he's fucking mad. Gets back and still shoves Lance aside (Top Ten Anime Betrayals) and just wants to get down to business. He's brought a rando Altean with him, I straight up forget her name so we're calling her Blondie. They found Blondie in the whats-it-called, same as before. But she's the only Altean there and she tells them what Lotor's been up to (that's weird. that's SUSPICIOUS). Lotor suddenly goes coocoo-bananas and they fight, have a clone fight, why not.

Mostly the same, yada yada... While it pains me to still destroy the castle and have them get time warped 3 years, that part was Good, Actually. Terrible, worst writers you know made a good plot point. :/

Anyways, Keith's been jumpy and jittery, like he's waiting for something, and then it comes out that he was missing for MONTHS. What? No. He was only gone a few days! He had visions of the future even! .......The mental link. Connected. A handful of times. He was not seeing Future Visions, he was witnessing Current Events. Shiro had a complete breakdown, Pidge lost (and eventually found) her brother, Lance fucking DIED and he wasn't there for any of it. Here you go, Keith, have a crisis. Reevaluate some shit and FUCK YOU you aren't magically two years older.

We also learn that what limited Mother-Son time he and Krolia had in the void place, he learned how and why she went to Earth, how she met his father, and the real reason she left (surprise! he has a twin and it's Acxa). And he still gets Kosmo. Because puppy.

That Thing with Big Butch Lady and Red Lady, except Red Lady For Real dies and that thing that happens in the final season actually makes sense now. Lance is feeling fucking useless and can feel his connection with the Red Lion dwindling. Stuff stuff stuff, things things things... Interpersonal Drama comes to a head in the gameshow episode. Lance doesn't bomb the Name-That-Alien game—he gets too mad to say Rolo fast enough, No he can't name every masked generic Blade, and he refuses to deadname Pidge/Katie. The question at the end becomes not who should leave, but who should STAY? If they can all pick someone to stay, the rest can go. The others all refuse to vote because the power of friendship no one left behind or whatever. Lance votes for himself. Because this is a war. You put your best soldiers forward. The others are shocked! Blindsided! Bob grills him--is this really what you want? Lance responds by saying not voting is like a vote for everyone to stay. Bob gives him a knowing and confirming Look. So yes, Lance chooses to stay.

Lance gets zapped away and the others get a Stern Talking To. They come back to their Lions to find Lance in a panic on the comms. Confused and Scared and Alone. Everyone chimes in all at once, Kosmo zaps Keith over to Red (and then every one else). Hugs, apologies, healing. Boom, the Lions turn back on and we're back on our way to Earth.

We're back to Earth, Lions tucked away on a moon. Adam's alive! Joyous day—oh shit he is PISSED at Shiro. Not the warm welcome he expected. At ALL. In this version, Adam is not a fellow pilot, he's a medical officer, and Dammit Jim! he's not just anyone's doctor, he's your doctor, Shiro! And his boyfriend! And Takashi "Give Me Glory or Give Me Death" Shirogane ignored Dr. Boyfriend's strong medical advice to NOT FUCKING GO ON THAT MISSION. So sure, he's happy to seem him back and alive and well, but since he's okay, Adam's going to be mad at him. Because he thought he'd died! For years! And how could he do that to him?! They will continue to fight for the remainder of the team's time on Earth.

We're also introduced to Curtis who, no shit, in canon, was the comms officer that reached out to Matt for Mr. Pidge's Dad (I don't remember anybody's name, sorry). And if the jury will recall, those open communications are how the Galra located Earth. This man is bearing the guilt of the entire invasion on his shoulders because he made those transmissions. And he and Shiro get a bunch of scenes together to develop their relationship.

Stuff happens, blah blah blah, hey remember that scene in canon? Where they call their Lions and they all appear lickity-split? Except, in canon, Red doesn't respond to Lance right away? And he nearly dies? And it's never fucking explained? Well it's getting fucking explained now. After all that jazz, while they're recovering, Lance confesses what happened with Red to Keith. Keith already knows. Because Keith called Red. And it just confirms to Lance that he's lost his place on the team. That with Shiro back to take over Black again, he's not needed. He decides to leave the team, but he hasn't told anyone yet.

Anyways, I know I haven't been talking about Allura. That's because I've forgotten all the things I wanted to do with her, but her and Hunk have been having their own solo adventure stories and developing their character arcs this whole time too, just don't ask me what that is. They're important. They're not just the love interest and comic relief. But I'm clearly here for Lance content, so...

Post-battle, ready to go back to space. Pidge makes that comment about the cartoon, how Keith and Allura get together. Lance has an irritated only sort-of reaction. Hey, it's their last day on Earth. The others think they're all leaving tomorrow (Lance still hasn't told them he's staying). He invites Allura to have lunch with his family, since she doesn't have anyone else to spend this time with. She declines, she and Blondie are doing research on that Altean-slash-battery person. That's fine, he understands. He runs into Keith. Keith? What're you doing here? Why aren't you spending time with—shit, not family but like....Shiro and Adam? Keith laughs awkwardly and talks about how those two are still fighting and no thanks, he does not want any part of that. Lance invites him to lunch with his family.

Remember all those soft looks Keith always gave Lance in canon? That amounted to nothing? Well here's some more, and they actually mean something now. And My God, does Keith eat up being in a large chaotic family setting. It's like all he's ever wanted was to be surrounded by people that love him.

Anyways, nothing explicitly romantic happens, but on their way back (there's a big going away party at the garrison), Lance finally confides in Keith that he's not leaving. Keith.exe stops working. And while he's having this mental meltdown Lance asks him not to tell the others, that he wants to tell them himself at the party. Keith respects his decision.

At the party, he decides to tell Shiro first. And boy howdy is Shiro blasted. Absolutely smashed off his ass. Lance gets to have a conversation with a way-too-honest drunk Shiro. Firstly, he and Adam officially broke up. Because duh, Shiro's going back to space and that was Adam's ultimatum. Hence, alcohol. Second, when Lance tells him he's not leaving, drunk Shiro gets really emotional for some reason and starts apologizing. Apparently, when Keith made fighter pilot and Lance didn't, that was Shiro. Lance was supposed to be promoted (Keith's issues with authority were holding him back), but Shiro, as a high ranking officer, overruled that decision. He goes on to talk about how he projected onto Keith. That he saw himself in him, and he wanted to give this kid every opportunity that Shiro wouldn't get because that disease or whatever was supposed to put him in an early grave. He projected all his dreams onto this gifted orphan kid, that he never really considered what Keith wanted. Keith didn't care about going to space or being a pilot, he just wanted to be somewhere where he belonged, where he could help others. He never wanted to be leader.

Shiro takes a big chug of booze.

Black chose Lance. When he was stuck in the astral plane, bound to the Black Lion, Black tried to choose Lance and Shiro overruled that decision. Just like he overruled his promotion in school. Because Shiro wanted Keith to have what Shiro wanted, everyone else be damned.

Lance is shocked. He doesn't know what to think. Is he mad? Is he relieved?

Sidebar, bc idk where else to put this, that hallway dream I mentioned before? It was Lance connecting with the Lions. When he goes into any other door he has a moment of, Is that Allura? Oh wait, it's his sister Rachel on the beach they grew up next to. Is that Pidge in the garden? No it's Veronica. Etc etc. And each time Lance will say he wants to stay there with his loved one. They smile sadly, tell him they'd love for him to stay, but he doesn't belong there. What I failed to mention before is that we actually see Lance pilot every Lion at some point. Blue and Red sure, but Green to save Pidge and Yellow when Hunk was in danger. Lance can pilot every Lion. Here's that twist: Lance is Voltron. There is no Voltron without Lance. Here's where we loop in why his siblings look like the other paladins--because it's Lance's connection to them that makes them paladins. It's their dynamics. Lance could technically deem anyone worthy to be a paladin, but unconsciously or not, it's all him. Allura was meant to have Blue right out of the gate. Because Lance can connect to any Lion, that's why he was able to pilot Blue at first. But there was a communication error, and Allura called Shiro the leader, and because Lance agreed and looked up to him, the Lions accepted it too. It's not until Shiro "dies" and gets tied to Black and fucks with everything that that connection is disturbed. Why that door in his dream is suddenly closed. Shiro overruled Black and the Lions sent Lance to Red since Allura was always meant to have Blue. Lance could pilot any of them but he's meant to be the Black Paladin.

Anyways,,, so drunk Shiro spills the beans, Lance takes his rightful place as leader and Keith goes back to the role that most befits his fucking character arc--support. Right hand man. Not the leader, but the one that's going to jump to help before anyone else. Fuck you, LM and JDS. And like, Lance the Strategist and Fuck You he was the de facto leader when Kuron was melting down and Keith was MIA anyway and he was GOOD AT IT I AM OWED FINANCIAL COMPENSATION—

Anyway.

Have I ever mentioned how I’ve only watched the final season once? In a single sitting? At midnight on my birthday when it was released in 2018? So my memory is foggy but my anger is real.

Surprise! Blondie is actually witch lady! (Which iirc was an actual twist in the original 80s cartoon). And psych!! It was HER altean death camp all along!! Lotor had nothing to do with it and she used her magic to make him lose his marbles and fight them! And god help me I cannot fucking remember what her canonical villain plot even was, so maybe she still went crazy and did some stupid multi-dimensional bullshit to get her family back. So then why kill Lotor before? Right, because he founded the Blades. He’s thousands of years old, and from a relatively young age was against the way his family was running things, so he started the Blades. He and Acxa were working undercover during all that s3/s4 nonsense. Witch lady finds that out and perceives it as a betrayal. Kills him, wants to start fresh with a younger, more impressionable son.

Again, she nearly fucks all of existence but the gang stops her just in time. Allura tries to sacrifice herself but free-from-quintessence-poisoning witch saves fuck that, you’ve lost enough. And cleans up her own damn mess her own damn self.

Universe saved, galra home world unfucked, lotor no longer a quintessence mummy, but no Altea. Altea is GONE but galra world was mostly still there. A bunch of alteans-in-hiding finally come out of the woodwork, and the ones from the quint farm are free. Blondie is still not a real person, though.

The lions do not fuck off to god knows where, allura is alive, lotor is at her side, and that ties up all the main threads or whatever, and we get to end with universal peace and the defender of the universe is still out there doing good, dismantling the remains of the empire which, without the quint-poisoned overlords, is not all that much of a dire threat. They’re still an empire that’s done war crimes, but at least there’s no more giant monsters, y’feel?

Oh right, I’m missing a part in the middle—remember that alt dimension episode in like s3? With evil alteans? Yeah that, but with explicit Evil Quint-Crazed Immortal Allura and Resistance Leader Lotor. Like. Explicit foreshadowing. It’s also meant to bridge the gap of Allura making peace with Keith being galra and the start of keith being vulnerable around Lance, so.

It’s been 5 years and I’m still mad, but it’s been 5 years and my memory is not so great so ta-da, that’s the gist of my fuck-you-Lance-is-the-main-character rewrite. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯