#hurt lucy chen

[saralayne]

I Was Drowning, That’s When I Could Finally Breathe 🩵

Lucy and Tim break up after a big fight. Will they be able to find each other again?

Tim and Lucy had been living in a world of bliss for a year. Falling in love with one another with each passing day (if that was even possible). Basically, spending every night together, mostly at Lucy’s apartment as it was closer to the station. Tim wanted them to take the next step and officially move in together. He was just waiting for the right time. They were both excelling professionally. Tim, as Metro Sargent. Lucy had passed her detective exam and was still pursuing a UC career. She had only done small ops, nothing long term as of yet. The tap finally came for a career changing, long term op, and then another, and another. Tim, ringing the alarm on each opportunity. Only hearing a small part of what the ops would be. Tim had said he would be fine, but Lucy was realizing he wasn’t ever going to be fine. Without meaning to, he was manifesting his life with Isabel onto Lucy. Once the last opportunity came and he rang the alarm once again, Lucy had enough. She called him out on not separating her and Isabel. He finally admitted that he realized he couldn’t live this life again. Not wanting Lucy to resent him, they decided breaking up was imminent.

As time passed. Lucy and Tim avoided one another as much as possible. Both miserable and heartbroken. Their family at Wilshire wished more than anything they could fix this. Everyone knowing they were meant to be. They had both made so many sacrifices to be together. They were it for one another. But at the end of the day, Tim and Lucy needed to be the one to fix what was broken or move on from one another.

Tim walked into the station after a Metro op, seeing Angela and Nyla hugging Lucy as she made her way out door back on patrol. He was of course curious, but didn’t feel like he could pry anymore. Angela looked disheveled. Tim needing to know what was going on. He still loved Lucy more than anything in this world and always would. If she wasn’t ok he needed to know. No matter the distance right now, he would drop everything to be there for her if she needed him. He would still move the sun to be there for her in any way.

“Lopez. I know it’s not my place but is everything ok?”

“No. Tim. It’s not”

“I-Is s-she ok?” nervously inquiring

“Depends on how you look at it” quipping back

“Ang. Please. What’s going on? “

“Alright. Fine. It’s not really my place but someone needs to give you two a kick in the ass. Lucy just informed Nyla and myself that she is done with UC. She doesn’t want to be a UC anymore. She’s done.”

“WHAT. WHY? She loves UC work” questioning Tim

“Well. Her exact words. UC HAS COST ME THE ONE THING I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING. I LOST THE ONE PERSON WHO MADE ME HAPPY. I don’t want this life anymore. I have no joy or excitement for it.”

“FUCK” was the only response Tim could muster.

“She went on to tell us that she had only caused you pain pursuing a life that had given you such darkness. She never wanted you to look at her and see Isabel and the hurt she caused. She wanted to be your safe place, your joy, the woman you love and want to marry, have a family. Lucy, is convinced she has ruined that life having a UC career and she doesn’t want it anymore”

“God dammit. I love her so much. She is literally the love of my life. My heart is in a million pieces being apart from her. I don’t want her to give this up”

“Maybe you should let her. “

“WHAT?”

“Tim, Lucy could do so many things professionally. But there is only one person she is in love with and wants a life with. Think about it. It’s always gonna be a cloud over you both. I can see she really doesn’t have the love for it anymore. So, maybe you let her make this decision. Stop sabotaging your relationship and have your happily ever after”

As shift continued, thoughts of Lucy consumed Tim. He missed her so much. She was it for him. He had to fix this. Tim never wanted Lucy to resent him by not going after her dreams, because she deserved to have all her dreams come true. If Lucy was to walk away from what she had always wanted, he wanted to make sure it was her decision. He needed her to know he was going to be waiting for her. This breakup has shown Tim all that matters is Lucy. Living this life again was worth the fears if it meant being with the the true love of his life. Tim missed when Lucy returned at end of shift. He had a mountain of paperwork he needed to finish. By the time he was finished Lucy has already changed out and left. As soon as Tim was finished, the only thought was to see her, talk to her.

Tim pulled in front of Lucy’s apartment. Seeing her car knowing she was home. As he made his way up to her apartment, pulling out his key that she had given him months back. Suddenly, he felt wrong using it. As the door flew open, the sight in front of him broke his heart. His light, his ray of sunshine looked disheveled, eyes puffy and cheeks tear stained. “T-Tim, what are you doing here? Please, just go. I can’t do this.” Letting out a sigh. “Luce. Please let me in. I just wanna talk”

Lucy leading Tim to the sofa. Tim interlocking his hand with hers. Sense of relief she didn’t pull her hand back.

“Luce. I’m so sorry. Angela told me about you turning down OC work.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t want it anymore”

“Luce. Come on”

“WHAT?! I have lost what makes me happy. My safe place.”

“Sweetheart. You haven’t. That’s why I’m here”

“I have realized that I would rather live this life again, if it means I have you. You are my whole entire world and I don’t want to live another second without you. I love you more than anything. I can’t be without you anymore”

“Tim…”

“No, Luce. Please. I want you. These past weeks have been torture. You are worth all of it.”

“Tim. Shut up. I love you. I want us. I’m still walking away from UC. This is my decision. The love I once had for UC work isn’t the same as it was. This break has shown me what is important to me and that’s YOU. I don’t want to put you through this again. This is not the life I want. I want us to move forward. Start a family.”

“You want to start a family?”

“I do. Maybe not right at this moment but yes sooner than later”

“Lucy Chen. I don’t want to spend one more night away from you. Move in with me? We can live here till we find our perfect house. I can put my house up for sale. Or we can live there….”

Grabbing his arm to stop her boyfriends rambling.

“Tim. STOP. Yes, let’s move in together. We can figure out the details later.”

“I love you so much Lucy Chen. You have absolutely turned my life upside down in the best possible way. I’m so sorry. I failed you. I always told you I would fight for us and I didn’t”

“No Tim. We needed this to get us to see what’s important and that’s US”

“Are you sure you want to give UC up? I don’t want you to ever resent me”

“I’m sure. Somethings matter more. We matter more”

“We can talk more later about everything but Tim, take me to bed..NOW”

“My absolute pleasure”

Tim knew very soon he would be dragging Angela to a jewelry store to pick out the perfect ring. For now, he was gonna worship his girlfriend and cherish her back in his arms.

[angelbutterfly-writes]

I Love Lucy

"Lucy! I love you. I love you." He shouts as she fades away, her frame disappearing behind the cursed double doors. "I love you."

                   I love you. I love you. I love you. 

It becomes a mantra, the only thing keeping him steady.

                   I love you. I love you. I love you.

It keeps him steady until he feels arms around his waist, gently nudging him until his head is buried in the crook of her neck.

Then it shifts.

                   I love her. I love her. I love her.

"I know you do." The woman soothes, softly stroking his hair as she leads him towards one of the chairs.

"I love her, Angela." His words are almost incomprehensible, his tears muffling each syllable, but she knows what he's saying. She knows what he means.

"I know." She continues to run her fingers down his arm, the tender touches grounding him. It's the only tangible thing that he can feel right now. It's the only thing he feels besides the fear and regret pooling deep in his being.

"I know." She reaffirms. "And I know she knows. She's always known like how you've always known."

"But..." He stutters, his voice sounding more small and childlike than she's ever heard before, and her heart aches for her best friend and the young officer who has become like a sister to her. "But I never told her. I never got the chance to tell her."

"Angela... What if..." His breath hitches as he tries to find the right words. "What if she... What if we... She might..."

"Shh. None of that now, Timothy." She chastises him. "We both know Lucy's stronger than this. Whatever happens, she'll bounce back stronger than ever, and before you know it, she'll be giving you grief for being so sappy right now."

The duo share a watery smile at that, but it doesn't quell the fear in his heart.

"You didn't see her, Angela." Images of the past hour flash through his mind, his fist clenching as his nails dig into his palms at horrible sight he wishes he never saw. "She was barely breathing. I could barely see her face and her arms, her legs... Everything was so bloody..."

He breathes. "I can't remember if they said she coded in the RA."

"Oh, Tim." She pulls him close once again. "I know we're not supposed to promise, but I promise you she'll be ok."

"How-" His voice cracks, making her wince. "How do you know?"

"Because she's Lucy." She simply says. "She's Lucy, and you're Tim, her fierce protector. No matter what happens, she'll always have you to rely on, she'll always have you watching her six."

"You'll be there to pick her up whenever she falls, and somehow your rough and tough nature will make her smile." She pats the man beside her. "You're all she needs. And she's all you need. Don't waste this chance."

"Ange-"

"Lucy Chen?" The voice breaks his train of thought and he jumps out of his seat. The rest of the doctor's words are a blur, only a single phrase standing out from the rest: "Room 1015".

He rushes up the stairs, leaving Angela to shake her head as she converses with the doctor. She's sure not a word he'd said had registered into his thick skull, and he'll definitely regret it later once he's seen her, and after the adrenaline dies down.

He stops right before the door, the three letters plastered over the entryway causing his heart to pound. Logically, he knows the only place she'd be after a major surgery is the ICU, but he can't help but feel that she shouldn't be here in the first place.

She shouldn't be lying helpless in front of him, connected to more tubes and wires than he can bother to count. She needs machines to keep her alive at this point and it scares him. 

Lucy Chen is the most vibrant, lively and active person he knows. She's fiercely independent and does not take well to being held down.

He's not sure what she'd think if she saw herself now. 'Maybe.' He thinks with a sad smile. 'She'd be fighting to get herself disconnected and out of here.'

He steps through the door, his footsteps in tune with the beat of her heart.

                            Beep. Thud. Beep. Thud. Beep. Thud.

His feet lead him to her bedside, his aching body crouching down beside her as he gingerly brushes the few stray locks from her forehead.

"Hey, Luce." He whispers, tears pooling in his eyes. "I'm here."

He chokes out a sob. "I'm here now. You don't have to be afraid. I'll protect you."

Placing a gentle kiss to her temple, he murmurs against the soft bruised skin. "I love you." 

This was inspired by @wanna-be-bold’s tumblr post:

“October 15th is National "I Love Lucy" (yes for the show but hear me out) day and I would love to do a challenge of people writing Tim saying I love you to Lucy for the first time or him telling someone else he loves her or gif manipulations of him saying I Love you to Lucy... basically any creation where Tim tells Lucy he loved her or telling others he loves her”

I know it’s not the 15th yet in most countries, but it’s currently 7 am of the 15th in mine, so I’ll start us of with this. You can also find this work at the link below. Happy reading.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42384273

[sisterofficerlucychen]

"You can choose to see that tattoo as your greatest failure. But I see it as proof that you're a survivor. It wasn't your day of death, Officer Chen. It was the first day, of the rest of your life. And no one can take that away from you."

[dylanconrique]

i'm laughing so hard at the image of tim crouched down next to kojo with an ink pad on the floor and kojo just keeps giving him the dirtiest side eye while tim lifts his paw like, "you know, i expect this kind of behavior out of mom, but i trusted you." smh 😒😒

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#Wedding Subtly At Its Finest

[melschenford]

what was the neeeeeed

[sarah-cam]

i've seen some people bringing up the parallel of how tim told lucy that they were worth the risk to how tim broke up with her... this is a great parallel don't get me wrong and it is so painful and i feel so sad for lucy

HOWEVER i've also seen people absolutely railing on tim and calling him a coward for leaving her and saying that this is unforgivable. i get being upset with him, i'm not saying that's wrong. but i just want to offer my take:

tim is absolutely broken down. this is the lowest point he's ever reached and it's been building and building since before we even met him. everything that happened in his childhood, in the army, with isabel, the trauma we've seen from the job these last 5-6 seasons. and now this, which has brought everything he's never dealt with to the surface. he truly believes in his bones that lying to lucy was what he had to do to protect her. even when lucy (rightfully) told him to stop, he said he can't because it's who he is. it's all he has right now because if he's going to lie and break the rules and compromise him morals, he is damn sure going to do whatever it takes to protect the people he loves.

he grew up with an abusive father who made him believe that he doesn't deserve to be loved, let alone unconditionally. he had no control in his childhood so he got that control by joining the military, and when he finally had that control?? he screwed up and blames himself for getting his teammates killed. he tried to gain back that control by becoming a police officer/to but never felt like he needed to move up any higher than that and now we know why. he didn't want to be a leader again because he didn't think he deserved it. he was terrified of losing lucy with the UC work and didn't even realize it, because when she's gone, he doesn't know what's going on and can't back her up. he has no control.

and now this? he compromised everything he believes in, as he said, "to save his career" but it's not that simple. if he told the truth, that angela and lucy knew about everything and still helped him, they would still lose everything he tried to protect them from. he can't even look at himself in the mirror right now.

he's not a coward for breaking up with lucy. he's not walking away because they had a fight and he doesn't want to work through it. in fact, she validated everything he did!! she showed him that she still loves him no matter what he did, that she would've done the same thing. but to him, that's even worse because he doesn't believe he deserves unconditional love, so when lucy gives it, he thinks that he's dragging her down because how could anyone love him after this. giving their relationship a shot was worth the risk because she is worth the risk. but him? he's not worth it

it's not cowardly to take yourself out of a relationship that you're not mentally okay to be in.

[karihighman]

🫂🥺 4x09 -> 6x09: Chenford hug parallels

[artesiant]

Oof after last night’s episode, I couldn’t help but remember what Lucy said in the Pilot episode:

“Look, this kind of obstacle's new to you, but it's status quo for me. You're a novelty item right now, but in 13 months, you'll be a P2, and the cops will treat you like one of the guys, but I'll- I'll have to prove myself to every cop I work with.”

[mellow-plum]

#Chenford S2 😭🥹❤️‍🩹

The Rookie (2018-)

[rookieoneil]

My favs😭😍

Mekia and Alyssa proving once again they have me wrapped around their fingers

[saralayne]

If You Hurt, I Hurt 🩵💜

It’s the DOD Anniversary. Tim comes home from work and comforts his girl.

It was another late night for Tim at work. A op with Metro had come up AGAIN. This was a reoccurring theme. He loved his new position. Loved the action. It’s everything he ever wanted, professionally. As great as it was, it limited his time with Lucy. Many cancelled date nights. Quietly, coming home to Lucy very late into the night. Lucy understood, she knew this was going to be their reality when she motioned for the five player trade to open up a spot. Never once did she ever hold it against him. Always leaving him dinner leftovers. Lucy only felt happy knowing he would always be coming home to her. No matter what time and what plans needed to be cancelled. They still lived in separate places. That was just a formality as they spent most nights together, rarely apart. Both had keys to one another’s places. Still, tonight Tim really wanted to have normal hours. It was the DOD anniversary for Lucy. It was always hard for her. No matter how many years have passed. She was thriving and had moved forward. The reality was it would always be on her mind when this day in December came around every year. Tim just wanted to hold her. Now, Lucy was not just his co worker, not just his friend. She was his girlfriend. Love of his life. He just wanted to be on the couch, watching one of her mindless guilty pleasure shows and showing her that not only he loved her more than life itself, more importantly she would always be safe in his arms. It was 11:30PM when he returned to the station. Tim pulled out his phone. Usually, he would have a couple texts from Lucy. Their short form, witty banter texts she would send while he was stuck at work late. Tonight, there was nothing. As he found their texting thread.

“Hey babe. I’m so sorry I’m so late. I’m leaving now. Love you”

Nothing.

Tim had a bad feeling. Even asleep, Lucy would keep her phone on and respond. Even with a emoji, Tim didn’t understand. Lucy had her own love language for Tim. Tim raced to her apartment. Probably breaking many traffic laws. Walking through the door. Lucy was laying in bed, wide awake. Lights on.

“Baby. Your awake? Why didn’t you text me back?”

“Lucy. Talk to me”

“Tim. Hi. When do you come in?”

“A few minutes ago. Are you OK?”

“Ye-Yeah. I’m fine”

“Lucy. I thought, we weren’t going to lie to each other, remember?”

“I’m not. Lying that is. I’m fine”

“Lucy, come on. Stop”

Tears falling from Lucy’s eyes down her beautiful olive skin.

“I should be fine. This damn day shouldn’t haunt me anymore. I did the therapy. I moved on. I survived. My life is so wonderful. A job I’m thriving at. Friends. And the greatest man in the world, a man who I love with my whole heart. Caleb or Rosalyn, can’t hurt me anymore”

“Oh, Baby. Come here”

Tim wrapping his arms tightly around her.

“Luc, listen to me. You are so strong and brave. This day might always cast a shadow. You have healed but that doesn’t take away what you went through, more importantly what you survived. And more than that, you have someone that loves you more than life itself, who will ALWAYS comfort you. Not just on this day but everyday for eternity”

“Tim, thank you so much for being my safe space and loving me unconditionally. Even on the hard days”

“Baby. If you hurt, I hurt”

“That’s how this goes for the rest of our lives”

[makeoutstopcrime]

we really are living in a golden age for chenford right now

[sisterofficerlucychen]

WAIT NO BRB SOBBING AGAIN BECAUSE TIM WAS WITH LUCY WHEN THEY MET TAMARA, HE BASICALLY LIVED IN THEIR APARTMENT FOR THE LAST YEAR, AND HE WASN'T INVITED TO HER GOING AWAY DINNER AS SHE HAS THIS NEXT BIG MILESTONE IN LIFE????? 😭😭😭 

[dylanconrique]

chenford breaking up the week of my birthday and then leaving me for 3 weeks has gotta be the biggest blow of all time.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Dawsons Creek 4x20 | The Rookie 6x6