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utterlyazriel · 9 months

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an eternity, my love

eep! this is a bit longer than the last at just over 6k forgive me... but thank so much for all love on the first piece 🥹 and thank u for all your lovely ideas! i hope this does sum justice to the nonnie who asked for further miscommuncation... <3 part one here but u don’t need to read it to read this :)

How does one even begin to decide what to wear to dinner with a person, the person, who matched your soul perfectly?

When your friend had hunted her way through clothing stores of Velaris and stashed away a custom dress — far fancier than anything you owned — for the first date with her mate, you had laughed at her.

Now, staring at your closet in only your undergarments, you were beginning to envy her preparation.

Seriously, how are you supposed to choose?

You pick up your latest addition to your closet, a glossy dress the colour of red wine that reveals the length of your legs and planes of your collarbones— perfect for a night out dancing.

With a grimace, you place it back on the hanger. It was far more scandalous than you would want to be on a first date, even though — well, you’re sure that, being mates, Azriel would like anything you wore.

You heave a sigh. An uneasy prickle beneath your skin has you crossing your arms; it was almost alarming how badly you wanted to impress him. But… mating bonds were rare and powerful.

Almost as if you had summoned it — in fact, maybe you had — there’s a soft shimmer in your chest. Your beautiful glow, the bridge between you and Azriel humming to life. In a way you can’t explain, it’s as though you can feel him soothe across your mind, his soft touch full of assurances.

He’s comforting you. All your emotions must be shooting down the bond without your permission. Gods, that would take some getting used to. You wonder if he can feel your resounding pang of embarrassment as well.

You do your best to push back something less nervous, more of your excitement for the night to come — and you know, without even seeing him, he’s smiling.

After another moment of fussing, you decide on something simpler than your glossy night dress.

Comfortable black slacks with plenty of flow to them and a shirt you thought was one of your nicer ones. With the slightest touch ups to your makeup, you rush yourself out the door before you convince yourself to change all over again.

The Sidra keeps you company, a rush of water beside you as you wind through the streets of Velaris, eyes flicking up to take in the darkening sky. The sun was sinking below the mountain tops, rays tickling across the ridges.

And while you could admit that Velaris was very beautiful in the daytime, you were a true Night court citizen— and believed its true beauty came out at night.

Somehow, despite the lack of concrete plans made as you had ushered the male out of your office, you knew resolutely that you would be able to find him. You weren’t even worried about the timing of it all. It was… what was the word? Absurd. Insane. Utterly, breathtakingly incredible.

Sure enough, as you exit the alley and round the corner, your eyes falling on the sage green building you reside in for work, there he is; waiting for you.

You inhale a sharp breath. A thousand cells in your body fizz, hum, and glow, at the mere sight of him.

It's easy to understand just how he had garnered his dark reputation, the image of him every bit of the Spymaster of the Night Court — a title like Shadowsinger has never been so fitting for him.

He’s blurred at the edges, a thousand tiny wisps that blend him into the shadows of the nighttime. His wings stretch up behind, towering over his already tall frame, black as ink, and beneath his darkened attire, you can spot his tan skin. Your eyes drag up his neck, tracing his adam's apple, along the scruff of his sharp jaw until you reach his hazel eyes.

Your heart burns.

In the depth of it, you know, if he doesn't love you, he will undo you completely.

It's wholly terrifying to come face to face with — the intensity of the mating bond scorching through your mind like a fierce wind, burning embers left in its wake.

It's enough to make you pause, the definitive thought that doing this, offering him your heart and trusting him, could very well lead to your ruin.

Your chest squeezes tightly. You let your eyes drink in the Illyrian, the Male who waited so patiently for all those years and was prepared to wait years more, if you had asked.

Focusing, you pluck up that golden thread in your chest and hold it tightly. It heats and melts, hotter and hotter, and you know that any fear you have, you can conquer to be with him.

Ruination be damned.

—

Azriel notices you the moment your frame exits the alley, notices the moment you pause — has been able to feel you drawing nearer to him this whole time. Your every emotion is transparent to him through the bond between you, whether you’re aware of it or not.

You must not have the tightened mental shields he had come to be so familiar with over all his years. It makes sense; you are no warrior. Mental walls over your mind are not something you have ever had to concern yourself with.

Azriel vows it to be one of the things he teaches you. You deserved the privacy of your emotions, at the very least.

But... for now, Azriel can feel them all. It's why, as you round the corner, Azriel can feel your eyes on him and then, then he feels it.

The wash of fear that spills over your bond like icy water.

An old enemy rises within him. He grits his teeth, even as he feels the fear from you slide away and he tries to ignore the sting from an unhealed wound. But self-deprecation never seems to drown, no matter how much he tries to suffocate it within him.

He shifts his hands, relieved suddenly to have them covered up beneath gloves. His wings tuck in tighter, if possible, and he wills his shadows sternly to contain themselves. Something in the slightest baring of his teeth has them obeying. They shoot to his sides and make themselves scarce.

All this in time to greet you pleasantly as you bounce into view, sidling up before him with a shy grin. It's only been a few hours since he got his proper look at you and yet, you're every bit as breathtaking as you were earlier. More so, in fact.

It feels as though Azriel has never seen the sky before and you before him, are the first sunset of his life. You look so pretty that Azriel could probably gaze at you all evening if you so allowed him to.

And then, he remembers the pang of fear.

He doesn't waste time mulling over which detail of him had made you afraid — only that he would dim or change or hide any part of himself to stop it from happening again.

"Hello, again," You say, your lips pressed together to contain your smile. You have to tilt your head back to look up at his handsome face. His shadows swirl around him and despite his strict instructions, one still slips away to touch you.

You don't notice it circling your ankle, tentative and shy.

"Hello, again." Azriel echoes your words, unable to help his own glimmer of joy.

He wants to offer you his arm, his hand. Can feel it within him, down to the very marrow of his bones, the craving to be closer to you, to touch you, however he can.

Azriel swallows heavily and does what he has done over decades, over centuries; he takes the wanting and pushes it down, down, down.

The two of you begin to walk, side by side, with no destination in mind. Aimless and content at the same time.

Azriel doesn't need the bond to see the flittering of nerves hidden in your expression. The shadow still circulating around your ankle climbs higher, like it wants to comfort you too.

Azriel wills it to still, desperate to not scare you again. He drops his shoulders from his usual warrior posture in hopes of making himself a little smaller.

“You don’t need to be nervous.” He says reassuringly.

You steal a glimpse at him, your smile breaking into a grin. Your nerves are still potent but less so.

“Who says I’m nervous?”

Azriel smiles gently, his eyes dancing across your face as he reads your lie easily. “I do."

There's a scrunch between your eyebrows then, like he had seen during his time in your office earlier. Azriel places a hand on his chest, over the place where the glowing tug is strongest.

"I can feel it.”

Your eyes widen slightly as you stare at his gloved hand, the cogs in your brain spinning and turning at a rapid rate. Still strolling, your hand rises slowly and touches to the same spot on your own chest. Azriel can feel his heart stutter at the sight, you holding the spot that connected you to him undeniably.

"You can?" Your gaze lifts to his face, puzzlement adorning your features. You frown and focus for a moment, staring hard into the distance — and Azriel feels a sudden twinge of disgust through the thread.

"Did you feel that?" You ask, eyes wide and curious.

Azriel nods wordlessly and he can't help but ask. "What is it you were thinking of?"

You look embarrassed for a moment, eyes averting to the ground. You chuckle awkwardly and tuck your hair behind your ears, glancing back up at the Male with a sheepish smile.

"Brussels sprouts."

Azriel blinks once, twice, and then has to turn to hide his smile. He tries to cover his laugh with a cough. It doesn't work, given how you make a small noise of indignation. He turns back, his politest expression on.

"Don't laugh at me!" You whine, reaching out to poke him in the shoulder. Your touch radiates through his body like a drop of golden sun, blazing warm.

"You're right," Azriel hums, his lips twitching as he presses back his smile. "My apologies, my lady. This is important knowledge I should be filing away. I swear on my life I will feed you no brussels sprouts this evening, or any in the future."

He wants to nudge your shoulder with his own, just to touch you, wants to reach out as easily as you had. But his shadows slip before his self-control does, skittering out along onto your shoulder and giving you a small shock and Azriel remembers himself. His fists clench tightly at his sides.

You walk side by side all evening, like two planets in orbit — close, oh so close, but never quite touching.

—

The first date you share is nothing short of… wonderful.

Resolutely and overwhelming good, the entire date you can't help but feel as though your very soul is singing, a thousand particles blithesome at the nearness you get to share with Azriel. He's surprising in a manner of ways.

Firstly, he's terribly quiet.

Next to him, you look quite the blabber-mouth, no matter how much he insists he enjoys it. His dark eyes are intense as they watch you closely, soaking in every word that passes your lips, and yet, beneath it, his dry sense of humour comes out to play. There's the occasional tease, almost as if just to see if he could make you flustered. (He could, easily).

With a Male as beautiful as him, suited to your very being in every way, it's nearly unbearable how much you ache for him. How much his very attention creeps down your neck and makes every nerve along your spine tingle.

You know it will take some time to get used to his unwavering and devoted attention.

There’s… just one small, itty-bitty, tiny problem.

He doesn’t touch you.

Throughout that whole first evening, you had noticed it somewhat— a flex in his gloved hands, a moment where his wing strayed too close only to be pulled back in a flash, even his shadows, darting out to be near you but never quite touching you as they had on that first meeting.

His hands reach out but they do not find you.

At first, you believed it was a first date thing. Azriel was, first and foremost, a gentleman, and you thought perhaps, his skirting touch, like his hand lingering over the small of your back but not touching it, was to be polite. Courteous and gracious.

Then, you had seen him just two days after that date, all bundled up in your giddiness that it had managed to slip your mind.

The two of you had spent the day together, traversing through the market — before you quickly found a quieter space for your mate as it became clear that large bustling areas, such as the Palace of Threads and Jewels, were not so suited to his tastes.

As you had tugged him out of the crowd, laughing over your shoulder at how he fought to keep his broad wings from knocking into anyone else, the thought suddenly snapped back into you.

Though you yearned to link his arm with your own, to interlace your fingers with his, you remembered his hesitance. Remembered the hover of his gloved hand.

And so, you dropped his arm the moment you cleared the crowd.

A hurt warbled deep within you to so do and knowing you were not the deftest at schooling your expressions, you hid your face so you could contain your childish reactions. You huffed at your own upset. What matter is it if your mate has no affinity to touch?

Truly, it was a miracle to have found a mate at all, you tried to scold yourself. You would not take him for granted for a moment, not even if it was not quite the picture of perfection you had envisioned.

Rooted deep in you was a truth; you could abide by this, abstain to his level of comfort for years, for millennia, if it made him happier.

The fabric of the mating bond, connecting the two of you intrinsically, made it so you would not want it any other way.

It's a decidedly Azriel thing.

He always wears the gloves, he never touches you more than he has to, and he's got... this really specific look when you're doing a terrible job of hiding your emotions.

As he had vowed, Azriel had set about teaching you how to build the mental walls up within your mind, brick by brick by brick. While it would help you hold against daemati if that loathsome situation should ever arise, it would also shield you from your mate.

It would protect you from having your emotions ripped out for him to see, no matter how much you held back — if it was in your mind, it would travel down the bond.

So, the wall had to be built. It had been tedious, tricky, and tiring work. Yet every time you would feel yourself ready to throw in the towel, Azriel would lean in closer, his hazel eyes softened, and his hand resting upon your arm, thumb swatching up and down, to encourage you.

"I know it is tiresome," He had mused, that faint smile twitching at his lips as you scowled at the ground. His thumb was still moving, still drawing light circles on your bicep. The skin beneath it blazed with warmth. "But it is worth it, that I can promise. You deserve this privacy, my dear. I would never wish to take it from you."

My dear, my dear, my dear— the words had sunk into your sternum and bloomed, bright and golden.

It's enough to hold onto, his kind affections. The sweet shape of his mouth when it says your name. The way his lashes kiss in the corner when he can't hold back his smile.

It's enough to soothe yourself over. To take the lack of touch on the chin and swallow down your desire for more.

It's why— why you can't help yourself— why you couldn't tear your eyes away from Azriel's hand where it touches Cassian's arm.

You're meeting his family today, which you've quickly realised doesn't mean his mother or father but instead means... the literal Highlord of the Night Court.

There are several warriors crowded around the cramped entrance room to the River House. Each of them is taller than you, and two of them with the very same huge wingspans that you've come to revere on your own mate.

Your usual talkativeness has been dimmed in your shock, though, really, it shouldn't be such a surprise. Azriel is a force to be reckoned with, honed over decades, and the Spymaster of the Night Court. You know these things. The company he keeps makes sense.

Somehow... still, seeing them all together leaves you strikingly speechless. The legion that protects your home — a family.

Rhysand greets you first, dapper in his dark attire, his violet eyes equal parts calculating and welcoming as he steps forward and offers his hand.

Despite the fact you have never bowed to him before, you still have to repress the urge. His power is overwhelming, the very night lapping at his edges and you're suddenly very grateful to be meeting him as a friend and not as a foe.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Rhysand's voice purrs out, soft as silk. When you place your hand in his, he brings it to his lips and presses a polite kiss to the back of your hand.

"Any friend of Azriel's is a friend of mine."

You can feel your own heart thundering in your chest. Azriel hovers behind you, his presence soothing in itself. You can't see it but his wings are outstretched towards you, cocooning around you ever so slightly. A shadow hovers behind your shoulder, just out of sight.

"I— the pleasure is mine, my Highlord." You manage to make yourself speak.

You almost wish you hadn't when your words inspire a burst of laughter from one of the others behind Rhysand, the other Illyrian. He's tall, his hair dark but longer than your mate's own.

As your hand is dropped, Rhysand turns to scowl at the Male laughing, and you only grow further perplexed when he gives a whack against the other's shoulder. They begin to squabble for a moment — and you don't even hear Azriel move until he's speaking, his lips right by your ear.

"You'll have to forgive Cassian." His voice is low, raspy in a way that sends a zing down your spine. You shiver lightly. "He can be well-mannered at the best of times. But I promise he isn't laughing at you."

The two Males seem to tune back into Azriel's words, even though they had been whispered for you specifically.

"It's true!" The Illyrian, Cassian you now know, pipes up. He brandishes a devilishly handsome grin at you, with his hands held up in defense. "I apologise. It just still makes me laugh to see someone address this one so formally."

You blink. "But... he is the Highlord."

Azriel speaks again, bent over still to talk in your ear, but much less of a whisper this time. "Rhys is our Highlord but he does not bother with such formalities."

"And," Cassian interjects, lugging a punch into Rhy's shoulder, much like the other had done to him not a moment before. "Before he was the o'mighty Highlord, he was our friend."

Cassian says the word o'mighty with such an air of sarcasm that you can't help but glance at Rhys, sure he wouldn't take such disrespect. But around you, there are only easy grins.

"Might we move to somewhere more comfortable than the doorway," Azriel speaks up from behind you, his voice dry. "Unless that is, you're all hoping to do one-on-one greetings with her?"

There it is, the dry sense of humour you've come to adore. The group before you seems to grumble, as if they were quite keen on the one-on-one meetings but begin to move through the house.

One of the group dips back to walk beside you and you do your best not to repeat your past mistakes, even as your eyes widen almost comically. Azriel chuckles silently to himself, feeling your polite astonishment down the bond.

"It's so great to finally meet you.” Feyre, your Highlady greets you, her pretty face rife with glee. She seems genuinely very happy to make your acquaintance. "Azriel has told me all about you."

You stumble in surprise, your eyes casting back to Azriel behind the pair of you. His eyes are fixed on Feyre, narrowed at her blatant betrayal, his shadows swirling around him. She sticks her tongue out at him playfully and you smother a laugh.

When his eyes shift over to you, you're positively delighted at how his cheeks have turned the lightest shade of ruby.

"Feyre is very persuasive when she wants to be." He murmurs, almost grumbling. You turn back to the Highlady and she grins at you, devious and captivating all at once.

It’s a whirlwind once you reach one of the many living rooms, each member of Azriel’s family all very eager to shake your hand.

Cassian grips it firm, his grin still on the side of wicked as he tells you he’s been waiting years to find the woman who could contain Azriel. Nesta, his mate as you find out, is a fierce kind of pretty with a grip as strong as Cassian’s. She tells you welcome to the family with the smile of a shark.

Morrigon is next, breathtakingly gorgeous, and every bit as charismatic as Azriel had described. You don't catch the glimpse between Mor and Cassian, not the beat of relief they both feel at your arrival in their lives— in Azriel's life.

It's swallowed up in her words, going a mile a minute. She jumps about, like popcorn in a pan, overly keen to finally speak to the one whom the Mother deemed worthy of Azriel’s heart. Where are you from? What do you do? How did you meet?

“Mor,” Azriel warns, after her twelfth consecutive question about your life. He hasn’t moved from his protective position behind you, close enough you can feel the heat of his body. His wings had brushed your shoulder just once.

“Yeah, Mor,” Rhys jeers. He nudges his cousin in the side playfully and Cassian snickers behind the group. “Give the girl some time to breathe.”

Even with all of Azriel's masterclass on who you would be meeting, it's still terribly overwhelming just trying to keep track of them all. They're each such strong spirits, each with seemingly a thousand battles in their past and far more years with Azriel.

On top of this is the fact you met both your Highlord and Highlady so casually in one single afternoon. It's difficult to not be daunted by the group that is so clearly intertwined with each other on a deeper level altogether— bonded by devastation and choosing each other through love.

Try as you might, you can feel the seed of doubt, of insecurity, make a home between your ribs.

You clamp down the shields you've spent the last few weeks learning, building the wall up and holding it tight. It's silly to feel dismayed because these Fae, these friends, know your mate better than you do.

Azriel had told you he had been waiting for you for five hundred years. For the first time since you've met him, you wonder if he was ever disappointed.

And then— then, you see it.

Azriel's hand on Cassian's arm. Then the half embrace they share, a hand on each other's neck as Cassian grins, wild and fierce, and presses his forehead against Azriel's own; brothers, sharing a moment of euphoria at the other finding his long-deserved happiness.

You should be soaking in the smile Azriel hides from you too often, showing his teeth and crinkling his eyes. But instead, you can't see past it, can't stop the loop in your own mind as it prints a fact over and over and over.

It isn't an Azriel thing; it's a you thing.

He doesn't touch you.

The mental walls in your mind feel paper-thin as a fresh kind of agony ripples through your chest. The soft rejection of a mate stings, a papercut on your very heart. You can feel it warble through you and know, terribly, the exact moment that Azriel feels it too.

His head whips around, his dark shadows that surround him suddenly spinning and flitting faster than before— a couple dive across the room to you.

You stand up and the chair scrapes noisily beneath you.

"I—" You say before you realise you haven't planned an exit or an excuse in the slightest. Azriel's gaze burns into you. You turn to Feyre instead, who had been talking across from you when you rudely stood up.

"I'm so sorry, I just—" Some excuse, any excuse! "I think I— left the stove on."

It's a lie. A complete utter lie that fools no one in the room as you retreat from it hastily. None of them try to stop you though, which you're thankful for. Each of them watches, every expression slightly concerned as you hurry out of the room, your feet walking backward rapidly until you bump into the door frame.

You pass through it with your eyes on the floor, knowing that all of the eyes are on you. You know the ones you can feel searing into your soul are Azriel's.

You leave the River House. You walk along the Sidra, your steps hurried and your chin tucked low. It hurts. It hurts the feeling inside you. A tear streaks down your cheek, unbidden, and collects on your jaw. You wipe it away meanly.

The sight of your apartment door is an overwhelming comfort, one that has you sighing aloud as you rush up to it, your fingers already digging around in your pockets for your key.

And like always, you never hear him coming.

"What happened?" Azriel asks, his voice almost pained.

You give a little yelp of surprise and whip around, remembering half a second later that there's still evidence on your face of your tears. Azriel grows characteristically still, his hazel eyes fixed on yours as you sniffle for a moment, aggravation beginning to creep in.

He could feel everything from you and you got... what? Whatever he deemed fit to offer? How is that fair?

His usually wispy shadows are inkier than usual, almost tornado-ing around his shoulders. They keep leaping out towards you before being caught in an invisible net, a barrier between you and them.

Even as Azriel remains motionless, his eyes are the opposite—they jump around, searching, hunting, begging to find the cause of your pain. Had it been one of his friends?

"Please," He tries his words again.

His heart throbs painfully when you finally find your key and turn your back on him without a word, unlocking your door and pressing your way inside. He follows quickly, wings tucked in tight, unable to keep his shadows at his side this time. They whiz to you, circling your ankles protectively.

"Please," Azriel says, an anguished growl to his words. "What hurt you? I will— my friends, if they said something— if it was someone, I hunt them down and make it right for you."

You inhale sharply and when you speak, your tone is cold in a way you have never used before with Azriel. You say the words without thinking.

"It would be impossible to hunt yourself, Azriel."

Regret howls through you like a hurricane the moment you say the words. You don't mean to be mean, jealous, or whatever unseemly emotion you can't stop from sprouting in your chest, growing in size, tangling into your heartstrings like twisted gnarled vines. It hurts.

You turn back to him, mouth open. No words come out.

Hurt is slashed across his face, his eyebrows furrowed tightly, his shadows tucked in tight. It's as though he's blended into the very air, the wispy edge of him threatening to retreat into his own shadows.

All his emotions on display just for a moment, before they're schooled away. Tucked away, hidden, not for you to see.

Inside, your hurricane howls again, this time in pain.

You can tell he feels it, even as you mentally gather your bricks. It isn't fair. How can he have every bit of you and you get what he pleases to return?

You want to know him completely, want to see every part of his rugged, weathered soul, and love him anyway. It's an untold type of agony to have him deny you.

"My love," His feet finally move, his wings almost dragging on the floor as he steps forward, slowly, as though he was afraid he might spook you.

"Tell me how to fix this pain." He pleads. His gloved hands are held out, palms up and suddenly, he looks nothing like a warrior. Just a Male, afraid of losing what is most dear to him. You shake your head, like a child, and keep building your brick wall.

"Please don’t keep this from me," He takes another step forward, his shadows sent awry as they dart across to you. You can feel them on your calves, on your arms, feel the tiny kisses they leave. Azriel speaks again, voice low. "My love, I can feel your pain.”

You can't help how you screw your eyes closed, the ache in your chest unbearable— made worse when you know he can feel it too.

"That is my problem." You utter the words quietly, eyes still clenched shut, knowing he can hear you. He takes another step, close enough now that you can feel the heat of his enormous frame, his wings bracketing around you. "I cannot hide anything from you."

Azriel makes a noise, a punched-out wounded sound that reverberates down the bond.

"My love," He murmurs for the third time. Down the bond, you can feel his sweet love, his golden gentle feelings travelling along to assure you. "I would not wish for you to hide anything from me."

“But you hide everything from me." You whine, eyes finally crinkling open. Azriel stares down at you, his eyes softer than they've ever been. You can see the hurt swimming in them, the hurt you've caused. Still, you speak.

"You hide your emotions. You hide your touch, yet you give it willingly to your friends." You share each ugly thought with him, whispered as you gaze into his face to search for your answers.

Lifting your hands, you curl your fingers around his wrists tentatively. Azriel swallows heavily, his eyes dancing down to where you're touching him. You slide your hands forward, dragging the pads of your fingers over his pulse, along his palm, til your hands are holding his gloved ones.

"Is there some test I don't know about?" You ask, your focus on your intertwined hands. "Is there— do I have to earn this?"

"No," Azriel chokes out the word suddenly. You look up at him. He clears his throat and you feel his hands grip yours back, surer and stronger than you had. "No, I'm sorry. There is no test, nothing to prove you deserving of this. I just..."

His words trail off and you watch as he closes his eyes, inhaling deeply, as if gathering his courage. His hands slide from yours, pulled backward and you nearly feel the urge to cry once more— before you realise he's removing his gloves.

The skin of them is warped, you realise acutely with horror. The skin of his hands is swirled and mottled, an injury long healed but scarred for eternity. Azriel is watching your face closely, holding his hands close to his chest as though he was prepared to hide them away at the first flicker of fear.

You're grateful for the link between and all your shoddy attempts at blocking him out. Your love and your unwavering devotion drifts along the bond.

Azriel shudders, his wings giving the tiniest shiver. Slowly, gently, he reaches out towards you. You feel his hands, the unruly scarred feel of his skin sliding along your jaw to hold it tenderly. He has never held you like this before.

He cradles your face gently — like his hands have never held weapons of war, like they aren't twisted and marred with a memory he can't forget, like they're worthy of holding something so precious.

Azriel holds you as if you're holy — and he's come to kneel at your altar.

"I was afraid of what you would think." He admits. His voice is hoarse, gravelly as he fights off the lump in his throat. "I— on the first day we met, I felt your fear along the bond and—"

"It was not of you." You interrupt him, your hands jumping up to cover his own where they hold you. Azriel inhales sharply, eyes darting to watch.

But you pay him no heed, the palm of your hand covering his like a lover would. You let your thumb soothe up at down the ridges of his skin. You let your love ripple along the bond.

"It was not fear of you, Azriel." You repeat, your voice soft. His eyes are still fixed on your joined hands. His wings have begun to pick up, no longer drooping behind his back— you're not sure if he even notices.

"It was fear for how strongly I already felt for you." You lean into his hand and Azriel lets you, lets the length of your nose nuzzle into the touch of his hands — something no one in all his years of living had ever done before.

"It was fear that you already could ruin me," The words are murmured. "And that I would let you."

You whisper his name to pull his wide-eyed gaze from where his hands touch you and his hazel eyes burn into yours. Every whitened scar on his skin, every eyelash, the adorable pinch between his eyebrows; you drink it all in and smile at him. Azriel, your mate.

"Azriel, I chose this despite that fear. I choose you.”

Azriel quivers at the words, at your unflinching tone and suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, time moving around you, untouching, with such a perfect grace.

“I choose you too,” He murmurs, an emotion so strong a fire of possessiveness streaks down the bond. This time, you can feel his wall melt away, allowing you access to all he feels — his mountain of fear and his melting relief.

“Forgive me—” He begins and you laugh without meaning to, cutting him off.

“Stop,” you say, the word light and as pretty as your grin. “We keep doing this to ourselves, tying ourselves in knots over and over.”

Azriel laughs, his lips twitching into a smile as he allows himself to stroke his thumb lovingly over your cheek. The way you melt beneath it, your lashes fluttering and heart burning so brightly he can feel it in his own chest too— Azriel knows this longing will long outlive his body.

“We do,” He agrees. He dips his head a little lower, probably the only apology you’ll let him have, and inhales shakily. His hands shift across your face, down to hold your chin, his fingers pressed together tightly to hide the way they quiver.

“Then let me apologise in another way,” He murmurs, his voice closer to playful. “In a way I’ve been selfishly depriving you of.”

And when he kisses you, it’s with a reverence that softens all your corners.

His lips are plush and sweet, and with the way he dedicates himself to your bottom lip, you can’t help how you sigh into his mouth. He finds home in the curve of your mouth.

It’s delirious the way he kisses once, twice, three times like he’s hungry for something found only in your lips.

Your hands stagger forward, leaving his own to wind over around his neck. Your fingers curl up, raking through the hair on the nape of his neck — feeling the shiver that travels up his spine, his wings giving a little flare out.

He kisses you breathless, one hand abandoning your jaw to wrap snugly around your waist, bringing you closer to him.

When he pulls back, something within you glows molten gold at the panting that leaves his lips. He’s gazing at you, his hazel eyes alight in a way you haven’t quite seen before. His wings shift behind his shoulders, curling forward to wrap the two of you together, not quite touching.

Your heart thrills. You grin, your lips still just an inch apart as Azriel nudges forward, his own twitching in that way when he fights his smile. His lips brush yours, his smile barely held back.

“Have you forgiven me yet?” He says, sweet and low, allowing the smile to finally pull his pretty mouth up at the corners.

“Or should I make it up to you a little more?”

He kisses the corner of your mouth, chaste and gentle.

“Mmm,” your eyes are bright as they peer up at him, full of playful mirth and adoring affection. “You're forgiven but... I think you should make it up to me, just a little more.”

Azriel willingly obliges, his smile as sweet as the moonlight.

—

some people i thought might want to be tagged :)

@strangerstilinski @astoriaviviane @lana08 @florence-end @lportes-22 @torrick17 @florencemtrash @sidthedollface2 @seafrost-fangirl @goldenmagnolias @jeweline16 @meshellexplosionmurder @michellexgriffey @susiekern @toobsessedsstuff @fxckmiup @littlebookbengal @elenapril0502 @glitterypirateduck @hnyclover @technoelfie @itsapunklife @coffeecares

#it got very long... i'm sorry!#we can't talk about bad miscommunication and then me not set up valid reasons for miscommunication tho #i can't DO IT #azriel a big softie in this one...#i mean he always is :)#azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger x reader #azriel x you #azriel fanfic #azriel acotar #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel hurt/comfort #miscommunication #idiots in luv <3 #i need a writing tag.....

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mellosdrawings · 11 days

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"You'll protect her, won't you?"

You asked for Najma? Here she is.

WE'RE AT THE BREAKING POINT!!

[PREV] - [NEXT]

#implied harm #I'M SORRY NAJMA #I LOVE YOU MY DEAR #I PROMISE NEXT TIME I'LL DRAW YOU AS THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!#mello's drawings #Wings!AU #hurt no comfort #(yet)#angst #twisted wonderland #twst #jamil viper #najma viper #art #my art

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lazylittledragon · 2 months

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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demigods-posts · 3 months

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thinking of percy going to school as a small child. learning that some of his peers talk to deceased family members in their heads to cope with grief. and deciding to take the time each night to talk to his father. telling him a funny story of how mom laughed so hard, milk came out of her nose. of how he got a near perfect score on his third grade spelling test. of each time he got expelled from school and how much he knew it made mom sad. of how his stepfather is the meanest bully he's ever met. of how he wished the two of them had more time together so they could share s'mores and stories around the campfire. of how much he grieves the father he never had. and thinking of poseidon sitting in his throne atop olympus. tears threatening to fall at the sound of his son's voice. mirroring the grief of a child he never got to raise.

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abisalli · 4 months

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I am having a lot of thoughts and feelings about one Bart Allen

#bart allen #impulse #max mercury #dc comics #my art #digital art #I feel like we don't talk enough about the fact that Bart canonically is a very good artist #also sorry for the angst I just wanted to draw a hug and then I made Bart cry #it's about the hurt AND comfort babey

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steddieas-shegoes · 7 months

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it's not ever what it looks like

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is saying you're sorry'

rated m | 3,299 words | cw: language, implied sexual content | tags: angst with a happy ending, arguing, established relationship, hurt/comfort, rock star eddie munson, teacher steve harrington, modern au, steve thinks eddie is cheating on him but HE ISN'T I PROMISE, marriage proposal

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

It wasn't the first time Steve woke up to pictures and articles about Eddie being seen with some model or actor, but it was the first time he'd actually been worried.

Eddie had been distant lately. Usually, when he was on tour, he'd call Steve on his lunch break and text him when he got off of work, and he'd try to Facetime him after his show if it wasn't in a different time zone.

But for the past week or so, he had excuses. They sounded legitimate until one of the afternoons he said the band was caught up in an interview so he couldn't call and Jeff called him ten minutes later to ask where Eddie was. Even with that, Steve hadn't assumed he was cheating.

Steve figured maybe Eddie was just tired or his social battery had run out. Those kinds of things happened before occasionally.

But not daily for over a week.

He was barely even responding to texts, and the ones he did respond to were hours later and hardly adding to any conversation.

And now this article.

There was a picture of Eddie standing with his arm around some guy who was taller than him, both of them laughing, looking at each other like...well. Steve knew that look because it'd only ever been pointed at him, but now he was seeing it pointed at just some guy.

The headline read EDDIE MUNSON GIVING UP HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART FOR SUPERMODEL SUPERSTAR?

Steve decided the only way through this was to read the entire article. At least then he could probably convince himself they were wrong.

Except the article went on to explain how Eddie hadn't brough Steve to any shows yet this tour, and how he'd been flirting more with the crowd after the show instead of just during it, how he was seen at two bars over the last week when he usually doesn't go out after shows.

It went on to say that these pictures were taken shortly after they'd been seen sneaking away from a group of people they'd been hanging out with and that they seemed very close for the entire night. The article said the guy was a male lingerie model who made it big posing for Gucci last year. He'd just landed his first film role as a supporting actor and was looking to land a lead role soon.

Steve hated him. And he was getting a terrible feeling in his gut about what was going on.

He had 26 unread texts, most of them from Robin, Dustin, and Gareth.

All of them had said mostly the same things:

I can't get ahold of Eddie.

He wouldn't do this.

Something else is going on.

Call me when you can.

The last one was Gareth, and it's not that he and Gareth weren't close, but they never talked on the phone.

He tried not to think about he didn't have a single message or missed call from Eddie.

Steve called Gareth.

"Steve. Shit, I'm glad you called."

"What's going on?"

Gareth sighed. "Ed's kinda losing it. But before you call him-"

"Why would I call him? Shouldn't he be the one to call me? If he wants to be with some supermodel, he should probably be the one to break up with me, right?" Steve could feel tears gathering in his eyes, stinging the back of his throat. "I'm not sure why I have to be the one to hurt and do the breaking up."

"Steve-"

"Is there something you needed Gareth? Or were you just trying to defend your friend?"

"There's nothing to defend! I swear-"

"Yeah. Well. Tell him to call me if he wants to explain anything, I guess."

Steve hung up just before a sob ripped from his throat.

He never had to worry about Eddie being a famous rock star, spending 6-7 months of the year gone, meeting all kinds of flashy celebrities. Eddie loved him so much, he never had any doubt that he'd always be his first choice.

Until now.

It was a shitty feeling and he had to be at work in less than an hour.

No time to wallow.

He sent a quick text to Robin to let her know he was okay, but needed to focus on getting through work, then shut off his phone.

"Is everything okay?" the art teacher, Mrs. Phineas, asked him on their lunch break. "You seem out of it today."

"Just a migraine," Steve gave a half-smile, hoped it was enough to convince her to leave him alone. He still hadn't turned on his phone, and at this point, he didn't really want to.

She tilted her head to the side. "When are you off to see your man?"

"Don't know," he shrugged, ignoring the tug in his stomach, the sudden weight in his chest.

"Ah," she said, turning back to her soup. "Something happened."

"Nothing happened!"

"You look two seconds away from crying," she gave him a deadpan look. "Did he hurt you?"

Mrs. Phineas was a little older than Wayne, close to retirement, and had been his closest friend from the moment he started teaching at this school nearly six years ago. He'd told her everything about Eddie, their relationship, his hopes of Eddie taking a longer break after this tour so they could have some time just the two of them, maybe make a real plan for their future.

Steve nodded once.

Her hand covered his and she squeezed his fingers in her own. "I may not know him half as well as I know you, but I know that boy loves you. You two will get through this, whatever it is."

"I dunno if we will," Steve whispered, scared to speak louder and risk the tears falling. He'd been doing so well today.

She patted his hand and went back to eating, saying nothing else about it.

His students had caught on early that he wasn't quite his usual self, and the group of second graders had been on their best behavior because of it. As the dismissal bell rang and he started calling for bus riders to line up, someone walked through his door.

Eddie walked through his door.

He bit back the anger, knowing his students loved Eddie and wouldn't know he was here for any reason other than to say hello.

"Mr. Munson!" A few of them yelled as most of them ran up to him instead of getting in the line Steve asked them to.

"Hi kiddos!" Eddie was faking it, but luckily the students couldn't tell. "Sorry, but you guys have to listen to Mr. H right now. I promise I will come say hi again tomorrow."

The students grumbled about it and Steve took in his appearance.

He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept the night before, his hair was in a messy bun instead of perfectly arranged to fall on his shoulders, and he was wearing Steve's hoodie that had suspiciously gone missing the last time he'd been home.

The fact that Steve's first thought was how badly he wanted to pull him into a hug was not a good sign.

He checked names off the list as they filtered out the door and then called the car riders to line up. He went through the list and made sure everyone made it into the hall where they'd be called when their parent pulled up before turning back to Eddie.

He closed his door and made his way to his desk, ignoring the way Eddie awkwardly stood by one of the student desks in the front.

"What are you doing here?" Steve asked, signing off of his work email and organizing tomorrow's lesson plan.

"I needed to explain-"

"Right."

"That article wasn't supposed to come out yet."

Steve's jaw dropped. So he wasn't going to deny it, he was just gonna act like it was the media's fault for releasing it before he could talk to Steve.

"Yeah. So you decided to come break up with me in person because you got caught cheating instead of doing it over the phone right before the article hit online. Got it."

Steve was not going to cry about this. Not in front of Eddie.

He was going to go home, shower, try to eat something, and then he was going to cry for the next 10 hours.

"No, Steve, you don't understand."

"You're right, I don't. I don't understand how you could throw away a 10 year relationship for a model who doesn't even know your middle name. I don't understand how you can fly all the way here and interrupt my day at my job to try to explain to me why you were so cozy with a guy who doesn't even know that you like your hot chocolate with Bailey's instead of regular milk. I really don't understand how you couldn't even bother to text or call me one single time since the article to even try to explain anything." Steve wiped his eyes furiously, angry that his tears were betraying him. "I don't understand why you would expect me to care for reasons."

Eddie wordlessly picked Steve's phone up off the desk and powered it on. He set it down in front of Steve and waited.

Texts and calls and emails came through all at once, hundreds of notifications lighting up his screen.

Many of them from Eddie himself.

"Go ahead. Open them," Eddie didn't sound mad, he just sounded resigned.

So Steve read through the texts, many of them different renditions of 'please Steve, call me' and 'I love you sweetheart I'm sorry.' Not promising.

But then he started playing the voicemails.

"Stevie, it's really not what it looks like. It's never what it looks like. You know that. Please call me as soon as you can. I love you."

"I can explain everything if you call me back. I promise you it isn't anything more than a business thing. Everyone in the band can tell you. I swear. Just. Please."

"I'm getting on a flight to you now. I'm gonna keep trying to call you even when I land. I need you to know what's going on."

"Just landed. I'm on my way to you. The guys are a little pissed, but you're more important than the show tonight. I'm not doing my own thing until I know you understand."

Steve looked up at him, tears still falling down his face.

"Well?" He asked, broken.

"His name is Wyatt. He's trying to make it in the acting world and he was pretty much told he was the top choice for playing lead in a movie that's in early stages of development," Eddie spoke quickly.

"Great for him."

"It's actually great for all of us. The movie is a biopic of Corroded Coffin. He's expected to play me."

At any other time, Steve would be proud, he'd be jumping up and down at this chance for them, and he'd be kissing Eddie without a care in the world.

But he still saw that picture and that article, and no matter how much "business" was going on, it was pretty clear that wasn't all that was going on.

"So you thought sleeping with him would help him get into the role? Or did you just wanna get into him?" Steve bit back.

"The article was wrong! The picture was just really conveniently timed! You know the media are vultures, Stevie. How many times have they written about us breaking up? How many times have they said Gareth and I have secretly been married for the last two years? How many times have they tried to post shitty things about your relationship before me to prove that you can't possibly be queer?" Eddie pulled Steve to his feet and cupped his face in his hands. "I've been spending the last two weeks talking with him and the producer and the guys to see what might work best for production. They want us involved in as much of the writing and filming part as possible. And he had time in his schedule to come to a show last night, so we all took him out after so he could get a taste of what it's like for us. He's really excited for the role and all of us are really excited for the movie."

Steve felt stupid. Well, maybe not stupid. His feelings were valid and he wasn't dramatic about what he'd seen.

But he did feel a little shitty about doubting Eddie.

Eddie, who had literally flown across the country to explain in person so that there was no way Steve could misunderstand him. Eddie, who once Doordashed him soup from his favorite restaurant when he was sick even though he was in Europe. Eddie, who sent letters to the kids in his class once a month to talk about how important music is and following your dreams. Eddie, who loved him for ten years and wouldn't have let anyone get in the way of what they'd built.

Steve fell against Eddie, buried his face in his neck and his hands in his shirt. Eddie's arms wrapped around him, his voice saying something against his shoulder. Steve couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t think he needed to.

He just needed to feel him.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said against his neck. Tears soaked the hoodie under him, and Steve could feel tears against his own button down. “I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” Eddie shook his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone until the article hit, but I was still gonna call you and warn you but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. This is part of the whole lifestyle. I should be used to it,” Steve shuddered as Eddie’s hand scratched at his scalp. “I should’ve reacted better.”

“We both didn’t treat this the way we should’ve.”

Steve snorted, nodded as he found the spot Eddie had tattooed on his neck a couple years earlier. He pressed his lips over the tattoo of his lip print.

“You flew across the country over this,” Steve pulled away and looked at Eddie, vision blurred from crying. “Just to make things okay.”

“I needed you to know. I needed to hold you. I needed to have you in front of me. And I wanted to celebrate the fact that we’re getting a movie about our lives,” Eddie smirked. “I wonder who will play you. Someone with a nice ass is a must. Their hair will have to defy gravity. Don’t know if they’ll find anyone with that smile, though.”

“Me? Why would they need anyone to play me?” Steve played with the string of the hoodie. “That might be kinda boring.”

“How would they make a movie about me and not include you? You’re the reason I ever made it past Hawkins, sweet thing,” Eddie leaned in to kiss his bottom lip. “Maybe they’ll just cast you. No one else could pull it off.”

“Eds-“ Steve blushed. “Wait. Okay, I trust you, but what were you doing in the picture?”

Eddie laughed. “He had just finished telling me about his boyfriend who lives in Italy. He’s apparently just a regular guy in finance who has no interest in the whole fame thing. Sound familiar?”

“Sounds like you two have a lot in common.”

“The picture was me asking if we could crash at their home in Italy next summer on our honeymoon,” Eddie said casually.

Steve froze. “Honeymoon?”

“I’m open to other places, but you still haven’t been to Italy and I know how much you wanted to see Rome and Florence,” Eddie was smirking.

That bastard.

“You are ridiculous, you know that? I’m over here planning how I’ll survive a breakup with you and you fly across the country to propose with a honeymoon planned before I’ve even said yes! You know how crazy that sounds, right?” Steve shook his head. “You’re lucky I love you. You’re lucky I’m not interested in big romantic gestures.”

“Damn. Hold on, let me make a call,” Eddie reached into his pocket for his phone.

“What?”

“I gotta cancel the big romantic gesture,” Eddie explained as he typed furiously on his phone.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It was a whole thing. Robin was involved. There may have been 500 flowers ordered. I think it’s too late to cancel the singing telegram though.”

“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re being serious,” Steve wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of that was true.

“Oh, I’m serious. The ring was being set on the bed in the middle of a heart made of rose petals. I didn’t half-ass a fucking thing, angel.”

Steve pulled his phone out of his hands and set it on his desk. “Don’t cancel anything. I changed my mind. I am very much into big romantic gestures when it’s you doing them.”

“It was a team effort. I mean, I had to move it all up unexpectedly, but this was all gonna happen next month when I came home." Eddie pulled Steve into a long kiss, tongue tracing his lips. He pulled away to rest their foreheads together. "I'm not doing this just because of what happened, but I need you to know you're it for me. You've stuck by me through failing senior year, through being broke trying to book gigs all over the midwest, through the stress of our first album being released and the unexpected overnight fame, every album and tour since then, every time I've had to miss things that matter to you because of the band, all of it. You love me anyway. I don't always deserve it, but I'm grateful."

Steve's lips pressed against Eddie's again. "I love the life we have. I love you."

"I'm not asking you without the ring. I made so many plans. Robin will murder me in my sleep if I don't go through with them," Eddie laughed. "So can we get out of your classroom before I do something inappropriate and get you fired?"

"I mean," Steve glanced at the clock. "Technically all the students should be gone. We could lock the door..."

"Steven Harrington! How dare you suggest I fuck you over your desk in a school! I can't believe you would tell me to unbutton your jeans," he said as he unbuttoned his jeans. "And get on my knees." He got on his knees. "And suck you until you can't stand anymore."

"Eddie!" Steve chuckled, shoving his hand in Eddie's hair. "We should at least lock the door."

"So you're not saying no?"

"Why would I say no?"

"That's what I'm saying!" Eddie got back up and ran to the door, flipping the lock and turning back to Steve with flushed cheeks. "This is like, maybe three of my biggest fantasies in one, so I may actually come in my pants."

"You're ridiculous."

"Baby boy, my hand is my only friend on tour, you know that. How can I possibly hold myself back when I've got your dick in my mouth?" Eddie dropped to his knees again, looking up at Steve with something close to reverence.

"It's not in your mouth yet," Steve smirked as he tugged his waistband down enough to free his cock.

"Oh, I missed you," Eddie said directly to Steve's hard cock. "Steve, I want you to fuck my mouth until I pass out."

"I'm not doing that."

"Okay, well I'll settle for until I have to tap out."

"Fine. But it's not gonna be long for me," Steve shook his head. "Missed you, too."

"The sooner the better, sweetheart."

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddielovemonth #love is saying you're sorry #angst with a happy ending #established relationship #hurt/comfort #rock star eddie munson #teacher steve harrington #arguing #modern au #marriage proposals

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chaotic-birds · 6 months

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fluffy Jason thought

if you like run your fingers through his hair, especially when he’s sleepy, he’ll kiss your palms and wrists. Especially after an argument, it’s like his silent little apology before the actual words (kinda like he’s hyping himself up in a way)

I love soft!Jason so much :,)

soft!Jason owns my heart. thank you for sending this in!!! my writing is a little rusty, but I had fun writing this so i hope you enjoy!

this is also uploaded on mobile so sorry if the formatting is weird. if it is, i’ll fix it later 😖

TW none | WC ~500 | G angst, fluff, h/c

masterlist

It didn’t take long for you to realize Jason Todd is not used to being loved.

He’s not used to the gentle touches or the soft voices.

But he tries to be.

He tries for you.

Jason’s head lays on your lap, eyes closed as he focuses on the feeling of your fingers threading through his dark hair. The slow motions bring comfort to his fast-paced life. It steadies his breathing and allows his body to sink deeper into the couch cushions.

Although Jason is becoming sleepier, he can’t bring himself to rest. Not when he snapped at you last night. Not when he knows the origin of his frustrations came from his self-hatred that he made you so scared for his well-being.

Jason reaches up to grab the hand that’s been playing with his hair and guides it to his mouth. He places tender kisses on each knuckle. Each time his mouth touches your skin, he can hear the echo of his words he had said to you.

Words that he regrets saying.

“I don’t need you worrying about me all the damn time.”

“I’m not a fucking child, and you’re not my fucking mother.”

“Leave me alone.”

“I can take care of myself. Been doing it for years, darlin’.”

“How about you worry about someone else?”

Jason kisses the inside of your wrist and lets his lips linger on your warm skin.

Skin that he loves to feel against his. Skin from the person he loves so much that it scares him.

Scares him because what happens if your skin becomes cold forever. What if…

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your wrist. “I’m so sorry.”

Your hand cups his face, angling it so his blue eyes connect with yours.

“I know, Jayce. I forgive you.”

Jason’s lips twitch in a failed attempt to smile.

He should have never gotten mad about you caring for him.

If you were the one stumbling home after a bad fight, bruised and bleeding, he’d be fretting over you too. Hell, he’d probably react in more extreme ways.

“I’ll try not to worry so much,” you say.

Jason shakes his head. “I don’t want you to, but I understand why you do. I… I worry about you too.”

You smile, nodding. “I’m glad you do.”

Tilting his head, he questions, “You are?”

“Yup,” you reply. “It means you care.”

Jason’s eyes flicker from yours.

He knows he cares about you. He’d give his life for you. He’d take all the pain in the world if it meant you were unharmed.

But if he’s willing to do that because he cares about you, does that mean you’d do the same because you care about him?

Jason leans his head into your palm that’s still against his cheek as he lulls over the thought.

He’s not used to feeling loved. He’s not used to your soft touches and soothing voice.

But he’s trying.

Because deep down in his heart, he wants to be.

He wants to be loved.

He wants to be loved by you.

©️chaotic-birds // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

#requests #Jason Todd fluff #Jason Todd fanfic #Jason Todd angst #jason todd x you #jason todd hurt/comfort #usually I spent a lot of time editing my works #but I’m trying not to stress about perfection too much #but still #I’m sorry if it’s not the best from me 🥹#ty for reading 💗

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joyfuladorable · 10 months

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03 Mikey + Arm Injuries + Don's SAINW trauma

I actually had these sketched out several months ago cuz I was inspired by something a buddy said about Don not reacting well to his bros receiving injuries similar to the ones their SAINW counterparts have, but I decided to clean them up a bit cuz I have a fic titled Ramifications where I explore the potential consequences of things that happen in 03 and these two episodes are part of that. So feel free to check it out and yell at me about how kids show + run time = undealt with trauma ;P

Links: I, Monster chapter | *Grudge Match*

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt mikey #tmnt donnie #my art #my writing #blood tw #sorry not sorry I keep either making cute art of my bestie or beating him up #I hop sides whenever the mood strikes me #and mood right now is hurt/comfort and some angst to go with it

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h4ndwr1tten · 1 year

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𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?

characters — nanami kento x reader

note — i'm so sorry this came out so late. if you didn't see my other posts, i mentioned that i basically rewrote this bc the original was so bad, and then i went on vacation. it's still kinda bad i'm sorry. dividers by benkeibear.

cw — not proofread (is anything i write even proofread?), established relationship, kinda ooc nanami, pregnancy, few mentions of sex, mentions of birth control, mentions of pregnancy symptoms, a lot of crying, sappy shit, angst, hurt/comfort. lmk if i missed any!

synopsis — after a hellish week caused by a misunderstanding and sickening fear, you decide you'd had enough of not speaking to your boyfriend and reveal your secret.

part 1 | part 2

for the past week, you've noticed that nanami had been taking on longer shifts than normal. in fact, it wasn't normal, because if there was one thing he absolutely hated in this world, it was working overtime. he'd leave for the school early, sometimes before you'd wake up, and come home past dinner or when you were already in bed. what was even more surprising (and hurtful) to you was that he was taking more time out of his day to put up with gojo satoru and his antics, rather than be around you.

you knew he was avoiding you. it was quite obvious, and nanami made no effort to hide it either. during the now short amounts of time he was home, he barely spoke and looked at you. this must have been what it felt like to him on that night, you realized.

you also knew that nanami would come around and talk to you. or, at least, you hoped he would. you knew him like no other—your boyfriend was a rational man who always thought things carefully and through. you convinced yourself that he was still upset and in need of space to think about that night, and maybe even what you were up to during that. maybe he was thinking of the possibility of you seeing someone else, having feelings for someone who wasn't him. by letting him ignoring you, you believed you were giving him the time and space he needed.

throughout the week, your pregnancy symptoms had become more prominent. you also found out that your birth control expired, which explained why you had gotten pregnant. you felt stupid for not checking the date. you began experiencing morning sickness, strange cravings, fatigue, even mood swings. but nanami wasn't there to see it happen. he'd already be at the school when you would be hunched over the toilet. he'd be on his lunch break while you'd be eating ice cream topped with pickles. you would be asleep half the time he was gone, which would help prevent the overthinking you faced while you were awake. you would be elated to hear him come home, but then tear up right after when you realized it would be another night without hearing his voice, without feeling his arms around you.

everyday you thought of revealing to him that you were pregnant with his child. and everyday, you thought of how he might be enraged and leave you for good. but despite the stomach churning fear you had, you were desperate to hear him speak to you. desperate to be held and kissed by him, to be looked at as if you were the most ethereal being in the world. you were desperate to hear nanami tell you he loves you, and always will.

after long thought and contemplation, debating with yourself about whether to confess or not, you came to a conclusion. you had had enough of this distance between you and the man you loved. tonight, when he came home, you were going to tell him the truth.

you were exhausted. you felt like if you blinked once, your eyes wouldn't open for another 9 hours. but you had to stay up. you were waiting on nanami to walk through the door.

and luckily for you, he did. you heard the faint click of the lock followed by soft footsteps padding into the kitchen, where you were waiting with a plate of food for him.

nanami took one brief glance at you before looking back down, not bothering to greet you. you inhaled deeply, weakly fighting back tears.

"hi, ken," you started nervously. he didn't reply, but he began to occupy himself with the mail you left out on the counter, telling you that he was listening.

"i made you food," you continued, "but it might be a little cold. i made it earlier but you didn't—"

"i already ate, thank you," nanami cut you off, not meeting your eyes.

"oh."

your heart began to beat erratically, and tears began to flood your eyes. you kept thinking to yourself that he's upset, and for all he knows you might be cheating on him. you reminded yourself why you were doing this, and that you had to push through if you wanted this misunderstanding to end.

"how was your day?" you asked shakily, opening your eyes despite the tears that were still there.

your heart sunk lower when you saw that he was making his way to the bedroom, and you swore it cracked when you hear the barely there "good" and a door shutting.

with your elbows propped on the counter and keeping your trembling frame up, you buried your face in your hands. this went much smoother in your head. you imagined nanami to have accepted the dinner you made him, take a bite of it at the least, and let you talk to him. but he was refusing to let down this cold front he kept up around you. you were beginning to have second thoughts about telling him.

but you couldn't keep hiding it, you knew that. so, wiping away any stray tears and taking a few deep breaths in, you made your way to the bedroom.

you found nanami on the bed, already dressed in his pajamas and hair free of any product. his glasses were set neatly on the nightstand and his phone was in his hand. nanami wasn't the kind of person to be addicted to his phone, and even though you've been going through it for a while now, him not paying you any mind and more attention to his phone was painful.

"ken," you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady.

without craning his neck, nanami looked up at you with his eyebrow raised. he seemed tired, exasperated, and looked as though he didn't want to talk but just wanted to get it over with.

"can we talk? please?" your voice was thick with emotion, the please coming out softer and cracking.

nanami sighed before tossing his phone onto the bed. he finally, for the first time in days, looked at you and held your gaze expectantly.

"go on."

letting out a breath you didn't know you held in, you began slowly, "i am so... so, so sorry, kento. i know i hurt you and i made you believe that i would see someone else. and i'm not, i promise you. i could never love anyone else the way i love you."

nanami's eyes softened, and you could practically feel the worries of you cheating dissipate from him.

"so what was with you night?" nanami asked, the most he's ever said to you so far.

you almost choked on a sob when you realized what you had to do next.

"o-okay, uh... while you were at work, i found something out," you basically whispered. there was no need for extra details. you were getting straight to the point.

slowly, you turned to the dresser behind you and reached for your purse. your hands shook violently as you dug inside for the piece of plastic that made your life a living hell this past week. as you clutched it tightly in your hand, knuckles whitening, you closed your eyes and tilted your head up. you couldn't control the tears any longer, and the sobs were growing harder to keep down.

"love?"

the name caused a whimper to escape you. you inhaled shakily, trying to reduce your crying before turning around with the test results hidden behind your palm. as you walked towards nanami, you felt as though this was the last time you would ever see him, speak to him, and be around him.

with a quivering hand, you hand him the test.

"i'm so, so sorry," you whisper.

nanami flipped the test over, his eyes scanning every inch of the device. it took him a few seconds to realize what it was, and by the way his eyes widened and expression contorted into one of shock, you knew he had seen the results.

and when he didn't say anything, you swore your heart had actually broken.

"i'm sorry," you repeated through a heavy sob, no longer able to keep in your cries.

you turned around, back faced to nanami as you continued to cry into your hands. the lack of response was a response in itself, you believed. you knew it was over. you knew you were going to have to pack all your things, find somewhere else to stay, and raise this child alone.

that is, until you felt a gentle hand on your waist and a quiet voice behind you say, "y/n, look at me. please."

so you did, hesitantly. you turned back around and peeled your hands away from your tear stained face, but avoided eye contact, or even looking at his face. keeping your head down, you were afraid of what you would see, or of what you would read.

then both hands came to your cheeks, cupping them carefully and tilting your head up. your eyes met his, and instead of finding the anger you were expecting, you found comfort and understanding.

"is it mine?" he asked first, likely to confirm that you hadn't been with anyone else.

"yes," you replied without hesitating. "kento, it's only ever buh—been you."

he nodded, believing you completely. he began wiping away your tears with the pads of his thumbs, even though more would fall every time he wiped at them.

"y/n, why didn't you tell me sooner?" nanami whispered. he wasn't angry with you, however. just a bit hurt and curious.

"because, kento!" your voice coming out steadier than expected. "you have your whole life planned out. you have goals and dreams and you know what you want in life. i couldn't, i can't ruin that for you."

"and i was scared, ken. i was scared that you'd get mad and leave me and that you wouldn't want anything to do with our kid. and—and maybe i'm selfish for not telling you, maybe i'm selfish for hiding something so important, so life changing, and maybe that makes me a bad girlfriend. but i couldn't let you go like that. i love you too much to do that."

nanami now had watery eyes at your confession. despite still feeling a bit upset at the fact that you had kept this from him, he fully understood and didn't hold it against you. and despite already knowing, he even felt elated to hear that you loved him so dearly.

"y/n," he sighed, "i would never, ever get mad at you for this."

you froze, sniffling and looking up at him. the curiosity in your eyes urging him to go on.

"you becoming pregnant wasn't—isn't on you. this was mostly caused by me," nanami said, hoping it would ease and erase the feeling of everything being your fault.

"but i was stupid and didn't realize my birth control was expired," you replied.

"even if, y/n. we both did this, we both had sex, we are both in this together. this is our child."

"i know that, ken," you sighed, hiccuping shortly after.

"then you do know that since this is a result of both our actions, i will be there for you, for us? there is no way in hell i would leave you for getting pregnant, i'm the one who got you pregnant in the first place. yes, this is life changing. yes, i have goals, i have plans for the future—for our future. because every time i think about it, you are there. it doesn't matter if our timing isn't right, it doesn't matter if we aren't married yet. i am extremely confident that one day, i'll put a ring on your finger and we will spend eternities together, with this child. do you understand, y/n, love?"

his ramble was so sweet and so genuine, just as all his other rambles were. no matter the situation, whether you'd be feeling insecure or you both got into an argument, nanami never failed to reassure you and make you feel better. they were waves of relief and comfort, like sudden shelter from pouring rain. like being bundled up in blankets and full of warmth after shivering for so long. like a breath of fresh, cool air after a steamy shower.

like nanami telling you that everything was alright, and no matter how tough the situation felt, he would stand by you.

"yes," you breathed, "i understand."

"good," nanami whispered back.

still holding your face in his hands, he pulled you towards him and planted a lingering kiss on your forehead, and then a peck before removing one hand from your face and down to your hip. nanami squeezed you gently and walked you both to the bed, sitting on the edge and pulling you into his lap. he slid his arm around your middle, then moved the hand still on your face to the back of your head and gently guided you to the crook of his neck. you wrapped your own arms over his shoulders and squeezed him tight, the way he was doing you. you continued to pour out whatever remaining feelings of sadness and relief, quietly sniffling and whimpering into his neck, all the while nanami would softly rub up and down your back, occasionally patting, combing his fingers through your hair and scalp, and whispering sweet nothings and reassuring affirmations into your ear. leaving sweet kisses around your face, into your hair, on your shoulder.

when your cries died down and all that was left were hiccups, you quietly muttered, "i'm sorry for doubting you and thinking you'd leave."

"shh, don't apologize," nanami assured you. "i understand. i'm sorry i thought you were seeing someone else, and i am truly sorry for giving you the cold shoulder and not talking things out with you like an adult. i was hurt and afraid to face the truth, but i realize i was wrong. do you forgive me?"

pulling away from his neck, you looked into his sincere amber eyes, cupping his cheeks. nodding, you answered, "of course."

a small smile graced his lips, followed by a gentle kiss on yours. pulling away, you tilted your head down and rested your forehead on his. both of your eyes shut, your arms squeezing each other in silent reassurance.

"i love you, y/n, and our baby, and this future we're creating together."

m. list

#TRASHHH #i'm sorry this took forever #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami x you #nanami angst #nanami kento angst #hurt/comfort #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #nanami kento #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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doomsdaybby · 2 months

Note

Hiii! You said you wanted some Steve or Eddie request and you could probably do this for them both if you want!

But I was thinking angst/ hurt, say Eddie or Steve said something not thinking much about it, something like, I wish you did it like this instead of this or, your perfumes to sweet, immature ( I like cotton candy scents lol ), I wish you dressed differently, her body looks good ( completely different than your body type ), your hair looks better when it’s straight ( it’s naturally curly ), you have to much energy, ect……

You start to act different, straighten your hair, change perfume, act tamer, stuff like that. They notice you start to act different or change it or whatever.

ommmggg 🥺 I never really write angst so I hope this is okay! thrown in some fluffy sweet comfort at the end bc 😭😭

small cw/tw for mentions of body types / slight body shaming (self deprecating)

Steve didn’t mean it. Really he didn’t. Sometimes he slips up, lips not connecting with his brain before he allows words to flow free, ones he doesn’t realise hurt.

It had only happened twice before, where he had said something off the cuff and blasé, that wonky half-smirk in your direction and a swift nonchalant adjust of his hair. And it was the fact that he was so oblivious to it that had your stomach tying in knots and mouth zipping closed.

Steve didn’t mean it. Really he didn’t.

You had stared at him glass-eyed and saucered, the rush of heat to your cheeks spreading a blush pink across your face and chest.

“Ow! Hey, loosen up the claws there, wolverine” he breathed out a concerned chuckle, eyebrows creased as he gave your hand a gentle wobble. You hadn’t realised the malicious dig of your nails into his soft skin, glare a sharpened knife’s edge.

Starcourt Mall, merely one week ago. Steve had just handed in his lacklustre resumé to Scoops Ahoy ice cream parlour, mumbling to himself the entire time that he wasn’t going to get the job anyways.

Crossing the food court, swarmed by candy crazed kids and soda sticky tables, you passed the shiny glass doors of the gym that had then held a women's aerobics class. The room was fit to bursting since there was a 20% first class discount running in honour of opening week.

Lucky Steve.

Lycra and spandex, gyrating hips of sparkling fuscia and metallic cerulean. Bouncy curls and sweaty bodies, lean and shiny. Rotations of full hips and perfectly cupped breasts that sat just right in their leotards.

And he was just... staring. That kind of vacant, jaw unhinged and glazed over dreamy look in his eyes sort of stare. One that had your heart sinking and adrenaline spiking. It rushed in your ears like wild fire, the hasty pump of your heart gasoline to the licks of flames.

Cue the talons, leaving deep crescent moons in their wake.

It lasted all of five seconds total, over just as quickly as it happened, and it shouldn't have wounded you as much as it did. You felt silly for it immediately after.

"Eyes forward, hot shot" you grumble through a half-hearted laugh, a softer, more apologetic squeeze of his hand. The sting lingered though, a splash of ice water at the base of your neck that travelled right to the tail of your spine.

It had sat there then, right at the pedastal of your ribs for the following week. Stewing, swelling. You almost resented him for it, not pinpointing your anger, your hurt.

You had been quieter the days after, near having to force a smile in his direction. Steve knew something was up, more reserved and less forgiving. The smallest of things that you would usually brush off festered at the back of your mind, metastasising against your will.

Now, Steve is spread out across the couch transfixed on some shitty sitcom. If you were in any better mood you would have eaten him up like your last meal - hairy thighs

You would’ve teased him, kissed him, loved on him. You really wanted to, to settle over those thick thighs, whispering into the warmth of his neck how he looked like a fucking harlot and only dressed to attract your constant attention. Though that thought was stomped out before you could chew it over too heavily.

You cross the living room behind him, Steve’s old Hawkins High basketball shorts hugging your thighs and tank top accentuating the dip of your waist.

You were highly aware of the way your stomach rolled when you sat at the bottom steps of the staircase to hastily tie your sneakers, craving some space, imagining how ridiculous you would look in a sparkling bubblegum pink leotard right now.

“Where you going, gorgeous?” Steve asks, the slight jerk of his head in your direction, taking in the curves of your body that were showing off just right in your ensemble out of the corner of his eyes.

“For a run,” you respond blankly, focusing on the loop of your mud-stained shoelaces.

"You don't run,” he snorts, only with jovial intent, eyebrows raised as he turns his head more, laying his arm over the back of the couch. You almost wanted to match his parted lips, the ripples of his cheeks amongst that lopsided charming grin.

Though Steve’s expression drops low when he notices the crumple of your face, the kissing of your lashes. Puppy dog pout and blush to match.

Snap. It had all become too much.

"No, and I certainly don't fit in some skimpy neon pink lycra that rides up my ass, do I?" you bite, a stifled sob gluing to the back of your throat, though Steve had already heard it, so you choose to petulantly avoid his gaze.

"Woah, woah. Hey," Steve's voice is mellow, as warm as the early morning sun though you can sense the maim in his voice, wobbling there in his throat. It was comforting in a way, except the dull ache in your chest remained regardless.

But the air is suffocating, the threat of fat tears welling in between your lashes. Steve rises from the couch, stepping closer, slow and methodical as if cornering a terrified animal, hand outstretched towards you.

The closer he got, the more it bubbled, the week-long mulling over of your ribboned heart and bruised ego, and you can't quite bring yourself to look in his direction.

Steve didn't mean it. Really he didn't.

"Hey," he's next to you now, hushing himself as he crouches down on one knee, dipping his head to try and meet your gaze. You avoid it, of course, crossing your arms in protection across your sternum. A cascading wave of embarrassment washes over you then, he was being so kind.

"Baby, what's going on?" he reaches for your face, and you allow it, his thumb brushing delicately over your jaw to caress the plush of your cheeks, fingernails tingling the skin at your cheekbones. His thumb cradles the angle of your jaw, and you scoff.

The tears fall then in globules against your will, thick rivers that stain your skin and patter onto the polyester at your lap.

"I just feel... really shitty." You begin, swallowing thickly. "You were staring, Steve. Tongue on the floor gawking at women that I look nothing like".

"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he’s stuttering, not even certain of what he’s apologising for just yet, confused as to what you were even talking about. Steve’s heart aches watching you crumble like this, stifling back the sobs and guarding yourself from him.

You recognise the realisation that takes over his pretty face, his infuriatingly pretty face that has you pining to go a little easier on him.

“Is this about the mall?” he dips his head again, cherry soda and a hint of peppermint on his breath, curls of chocolate brown crossing over his eyes, moving to station himself closer between your legs.

Your eyes are wide and glittering, water collecting at your tear ducts threatening to overspill again. Nodding at him, his face twists, a culpable expression and you knew he meant what he was saying.

“Honey…”

God, why does he have to be so fucking sweet? A saccharine lilt to his voice and his touch so soft.

“My girl,” he coos down at you, palm on your cheek and you can’t help but lean into his touch. A baby bird with a broken wing right in the centre of his hands.

“I think you are so beautiful,” he starts, honeysuckle eyes searching yours, stemming the tears that continue to spring free with his fingertips. You listen, waiting.

Steve continues, “There was a-“ he gestures theatrically in the air, puffs of wary chuckles punching out from his chest, weighing out what to say, “-a LOT, going on there, you know?”.

Your eyebrows meld together, clouding over the your lids and he startles.

“I mean, it wasn’t them, baby. All I was picturing was you.”

“You were?” your bottom lips worries and Steve is quick to soothe the shake with a tender swipe of his thumb. “Why didn’t you say anything?”.

Steve’s mouth falters, tracing his gaze over the staircase beneath you as he thinks. “I didn’t even really give it a second thought, babe. You came to mind immediately and we just-“ he waves into the air again, “Moved on?”.

The bile in your throat retracts then, pounding pulse settling when he rounds his hands to frame your jaw, touch skimming and fragile.

“After you mangled me of course,” his laugh is breezy, bright and it sparks right at the centre of your chest. You return it easily, melting into him and allowing all of the blooming anxiety to bleed away with every passing moment.

“You are perfect.” Steve whispers, pressing his forehead to your own and noses kissing at the tips. Your waterline ripples again, but this time out of pure relief.

“I love this…” fingers release your face to cascade down the sides of your neck, spotlighting the curve of your chest when his hands still for a moment and you shudder as he goes, trailing after his movements.

“And this…” further down he goes, grasping sweetly at the fat of your hips and kneading the flesh beneath your shorts. He’s beaming through every moment, shaking his head to himself as he takes you in.

“And these…” he reaches for your hands, bringing them to soft lips so he can kiss every knuckle. You choke over a sob again as you watch him, in disbelief that he was even yours.

“Especially this…” his palms swallow the frame of your face once again, brushing back every strand of hair so he can see each millimetre of your beauty before him.

“I love every-,” Kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Single-,” Kiss to the apple of your cheeks.

“Inch of you,” Kiss to the corner of your lips, murmuring all of the sweet nothings you had been craving to hear all week, what you’ve needed to be told to snuff out those racing doubts that bottom out your stomach.

“Don’t forget that, okay?”.

#so sorry this took so long 😭#steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #hurt/comfort #hurt/angst #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington short #steve harrington blurb #stranger things fanfic #stranger things #steve harrington #my writing

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finemealcreates · 2 months

Text

What Day Is It?

July 19: Forgetting an important date | offense

If Danny was a better planner, he would have been paying attention to the date. If Danny had been paying attention, he would have known what date it was. If his phone hadn’t been destroyed in the last fight, he would’ve gotten an alert to what day it was.

Yet, none of those things happened. Danny hadn’t seen the date, hadn’t checked. Hadn’t thought to check. He’d been living at the tower for so long, he’d grown complacent, hadn’t thought about the fact that the seasons were changing.

Hell, he hadn’t even really processed the fact that Garfield asked Robin what day it was. And got a response! Danny heard it out loud, and it hadn’t registered in his head. No, the fault is his own. He has no one to blame but himself.

It just would have been better for it to click in his head what day it was not in the middle of a fight with Killer Moth.

Kori ducked under one of the creatures that flew over her, hands glowing with her blasts as she shot to wound some of them. Danny was near her, releasing a cool breath to ice over their wings so they would fall. Garf was currently a gorilla smacking bunches of the down at a time.

Robin threw his bird-a-rangs at the creatures, grappling all around the battlefield to get closer to Killer Moth and stop his device. Rachel was providing cover, using her powers to restrict multiple of the creatures before throwing them to the ground. Victor was tailing behind Robin, shooting any being that got too close, but aiming to help hack the device.

That was the plan, anyway.

None of the creatures had even put a scratch on Danny, not really. He was getting better at remembering to go incorporeal, letting any blow go through him than land. It was something he had told Robin he wanted to train more to do on instinct than not, and Robin had agreed. Robin will be proud of how much progress he’s made.

The point is, none of the beings they were fighting had landed a hit on Danny, so why was pain suddenly coursing through him?

It started with his left palm, causing him to hiss as the ice blast flickers before going out. The pain is sharp yet jolted, almost pulsing. It crawls up his arm, causing the muscles to spasm in the worst kind of way. He loses the ability to focus on flying once the pain spreads past his arm and begins to crawl through the rest of him.

Hitting the ground so hard a crater forms doesn’t hurt as much as the pain he’s currently experiencing. Some of his muscles are locking, other muscles are jolting and spasming. He has no control of his body, teeth clenched and eyes closed. He can’t even curl in on himself, offer any comfort.

Ringing in his ear, that’s all he can hear. The worst pain he’s felt in a while coursing through him. Is he seizing? He can’t tell if he’s seizing. Why is this happening? Why is he in so much pain? He hasn’t felt like this since–

A yell pushes through his teeth as he realizes what’s happening. What day it is.

His Death Day. August 24.

Fuck, fuck he knew it was coming. He’s always been so careful. Making sure he’s in the Far Frozen when this happens. Frostbite always knows how to soothe the pain. Hailwind, Frostbite’s coremate, always has a drink ready for him afterwards.

Are they wondering where he is? Are they worried about him? Fuck, he was so stupid. So so stupid.

Sounds, so many sounds are around him. But he feels like he’s underwater. He can’t understand what any of the sounds means, he can’t tell what’s happening.

But he feels when someone grabs him, touches him. It burns, it burns so much. Please, please stop. Please don’t hurt him. He’s sorry, he didn’t mean to—

“Frostbite!” he manages to call out, his throat has a lump in it. “Frostbite please!”

Is he crying? He wouldn’t be surprised if he was crying. He just wants his dad. He wants Frostbite. He wants to go home—

Coolness touches him, and he can finally breathe.

“Dad?” Danny whimpers, the pain still too strong for him to manage to open his eyes.

His father chirps at him, core rumbling. Danny relaxes into the hold, the pain still coursing through him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize what day it was,” Danny whispers as he digs his face into the familiar fur.

“Don’t apologize, frostling,” his dad soothes, pressing a soothing kiss onto his head.

“Please make the pain go away,” Danny begs, hands clutching whatever fur he can.

“I’ll do what I can,” his dad assures, his hands becoming a lot cooler as they rub Danny’s back.

“What’s happening to him?” a semi-deep voice Danny should recognize demands, firm.

“Thank you for taking care of my son, but I will be taking him now. He can explain when he wants to,” Frostbite replies to the voice, not answering.

Good. Danny doesn’t want strangers to know what is happening to him. He feels so vulnerable, out in the open. He wants to be home. He wants to go home.

“But—” the male goes to protest, but something stops him.

“Leave it be, Robin. Phantom called for this being, called him dad. He’ll take care of him,” a more feminine, yet slightly monotone, voice speaks up.

“Thank you,” Frostbite says softly, offering a smile. “You’ve all made my son your family and taken care of him. He’ll be safe, I promise.”

“Home,” Danny groans out, feeling another strong course of electricity run through him. “Please, I want to go home, dad.”

Frostbite softly shushes him, pushing his hair out of his face as he plants another kiss on his forehead.

“We’re going, Hailwind has some hot coco brewing for whenever you’re up to it.”

Danny forces a smile as he cracks his eyes open slightly.

“Yes please,” Danny whimpers, vision blurry through all the tears.

Frostbite chirps soothingly at Danny as a hand lets go of him. He feels his dad making a sweeping motion, hears the familiar sound of a portal. Danny barely feels the familiar shiver down his spine as Frostbite walks through it, feeling his body jolt against his will.

He hears people whisper behind him as the portal closes, cutting their words off.

💀📅

Danny comes to with a hot cup of coco in front of his face.

He groans as he sits up properly to accept the cup, his muscles protesting and groaning.

“Was it that time of year already?” Danny mumbles, hands curling around the cup.

“Yes it was, young one,” his pa confirms, sitting on the bed next to him.

Hailwind’s hand comes up and pushes his hair back. A soft kiss is placed on his forehead. Blissfully cold and chill.

Danny feels himself relax as he takes a sip of the warm drink.

“I don’t remember coming here,” Danny admits after he lowers the cup, fingers twitching slightly in anxiety.

“Well,” his pa hesitates, right ear flicking slightly as he pushes his mouth into a thin line, “to be honest this year wasn’t like the other years.”

Danny frowns as his brows furrow.

“What do you mean?” Danny questions, taking another sip of the rich chocolate drink.

He doesn’t know how Hailwind makes it taste so good, but it’s the best hot chocolate he’s ever had. Human world kinds don’t compare.

“Frostbite had to come to retrieve you,” his pa admits, running his claws gently against Danny’s scalp.

“I don’t remember that,” Danny replies, leaning into Hailwind’s hold.

“You were in the middle of a fight. Or … you were?” his pa ponders, tilting his head slightly. “The fight seemed to be over by the time your dad got there.”

Danny’s brows furrowed. A fight? If he was in a fight, does that mean—

“Did I start …” Danny trails off, biting his lower lip anxiously.

“Your father and I were worried when you didn’t show up when you usually do,” his pa begins to explain, pulling Danny close against his side. “After it had been too long for us, Frostbite came after you.”

“And he found me while I was around … my friends,” Danny breathes out, curling closer into his pa.

“Yes,” his pa confirms, turning his head to press a kiss against Danny’s head. “You were on the ground, a crater had formed around you. He got there as soon as one of your friends tried to grab you.”

Danny tucks his face into Hailwind’s shoulder, his own shoulders drawn up as much as he could.

“Can’t imagine that went well,” Danny sighs, closing his eyes as he allows the soft fur to soothe him.

“No, you started to scream and call for your dad,” his pa admits.

Danny lets out a deep breath, handing Hailwind the cup. Only after he hears it clink on the end table does he climb more into his pa’s lap.

“This is awful,” Danny says into Hailwind’s chest. “They’re going to have so many questions.”

His pa hums, Danny feeling the movement on his face in the other’s chest.

“You only have to answer what questions you’re comfortable answering,” his pa assures him, one hand still running gently against his scalp while the other rubs his back.

“But if I don’t answer them they’re going to be so annoying about it,” Danny bemoans, turning his face so his ear is pressed against his pa’s chest.

Hailwind chuckles gently, body shaking slightly with it.

“That’s what happens when you join the Teen Titans,” his pa teases gently.

Danny huffs out an annoyed breath.

“I’m a teen, Pa. What team was I supposed to join? The Justice League?” Danny asks sarcastically.

“Just saying,” Hailwind goes on, ignoring Danny’s sass, “you can’t expect a group of teenagers to be completely emotionally mature about something.”

Danny huffs, knowing his pa has a point but not wanting to admit it.

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Danny mutters, turning his head to the other side.

Focusing, he brings the cup of hot chocolate back to him and takes another sip. Still warm, even though it shouldn’t be. His pa is the best.

“Thank you,” Danny says after he gulps down half of the cup.

“Of course, Bear,” his pa replies, pressing another kiss on his head. “We’re always here for you, whenever and whatever you need.”

Danny feels tears begin to gather in his eyes, and wipes at them.

“I don’t deserve you,” Danny eventually says, a lump in his throat.

“That’s the thing, frostling,” his pa starts, voice gently yet serious, “we’re family. You don’t have to deserve us. We don’t feel like we deserve you either.”

Danny hums, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Will you help me figure out what I’m going to say to them?” Danny asks after he finishes his drink.

“Of course, Bear, of course,” Hailwind tells him, a smile on his face.

💀📅

Danny shakes himself slightly, trying to rid himself of the nerves he feels climbing their way through him.

He’s ready, he practiced what he was going to say with his pa and dad. He discussed what boundaries he could set, and which ones he would, and what to say if they asked certain things that crossed a line. He was also reminded that worse comes to worse, he could come home.

Though, his parents assured him that wouldn’t happen. It was clear that his team cares about him.

But Danny’s not sure.

Most of the team, sans Robin, has revealed their secret identity. Danny told them his first name is Danny, which isn’t untrue, but he hadn’t shared the whole truth. All they knew for sure was that he was a ghost boy who wanted to help. That was good enough for them.

How are they going to react when he explains everything? Does he even have to? His parents told him all he had to share was what he was comfortable sharing. Theoretically he could just explain his Death Day, all ghosts have them. You don’t have to be a half-ghost to have a Death Day.

But … but Danny doesn’t want to half explain. He wants to share all of himself with them. Because he trusts them. And part of him wants to see if they’ll accept all of him. He’s come to think of them like family, so he hopes they take the news well.

With a final sigh and shake, he phases through into the common area.

Everyone is gathered, Robin is pacing, Rachel is meditating, Garfield and Victor are playing video games, and Kori is floating near Robin while shooting him nervous glances. They all snap their heads towards him when he lets the invisibility fall away from him.

All of them shout a form of his name as they rush over, Robin the first one to reach him.

Robin’s eyes seem to scan over him, hands reaching up to physically check for any wounds. Kori and Rachel are on either side of Robin, doing their own checks. Garf transforms into a hawk and perches on Robin’s shoulder, Victor towering over all of them as his own eyes do a scan.

“What happened? Are you alright?” Kori questions as Robin flips Danny around to check for any more injuries.

“I’m fine,” Danny answers, letting them finish checking him to soothe their own nerves.

“What happened?” Robin demands, turning him back around.

Danny does his best to offer a soothing smile, but he fears it comes out as a bit of a grimace based on their reactions.

“It was my own fault, I lost track of time,” Danny states, letting out a sigh as he rubs his arm nervously.

“What does that even mean?” Garf questions, face scrunching up as much as it can in hawk form, wings rustling slightly.

Danny lets out a big breath, steadying himself.

“So, you know how I’m a ghost?” Danny asks, all of them nodding. “Well, ghosts who become ghosts through … death have a …”

Danny pauses again, sighing as he runs his hand through his hair. His legs become a tail as he wraps it around himself for a sense of comfort.

“This is a bit hard to explain, I’ve never had to explain it to the living before,” Danny explains.

“You don’t have to explain if it’s too much for you,” Rachel assures. “We all have parts of us we don’t feel comfortable sharing.”

“It’s not that,” Danny says. “I want to explain. I don’t want to keep any part of me hidden, not anymore.”

“Take your time, man. We’re listening,” Victor promises.

Danny offers him a smile as he releases another breath.

“Ghosts who have died have what we call a Death Day,” Danny begins to explain, moving towards the couches and taking a seat. “Every year on your Death Day, you re-experience the thing that killed you.”

He doesn’t look to see their reactions. He’s not sure what reaction he wants. None would be ideal. He doesn’t want sympathy, or to see the sadness in their eyes. It’s a part of his life, and he doesn’t want to have to hold their feelings about it along with his own.

“Point is, August 27th is my Death Day. I forgot it was so close, and wasn’t paying attention to the date. I usually go to spend my Death Day with my folks. They always make the pain … less,” Danny explains, running a hand through his hair.

“I’ll make sure to mark the date so that we don’t have something like this happen again,” Robin assures, surprising Danny slightly with how close he is.

“Yeah dude! And we can make a care basket or something for you next year to take with you!” Garfield pipes up, taking the form of the cat as he rubs his body against Danny’s legs comfortingly.

“On my planet, we would have a date to celebrate the dead, perhaps we could do that for you if you’d like,” Kori offers, a smile on her face.

“I have some techniques that help with physical pain that could help you perhaps,” Rachel proposes.

“And I have some lotion I made that helps me during bad pain days,” Victor suggests.

Danny feels his lips wobble and his eyes gather moisture.

“You guys would do all that for me?” Danny asks.

“Of course!” Kori exclaims.

“You’re family, man,” Victor follows up with.

“Can I … show you something else then?” Danny asks nervously.

They all nod, backing up slightly to give him space.

“I am a ghost, and my name is Danny Phantom, but …” Danny sighs as he closes his eyes, concentrating.

He feels the familiar tingle course through him, like a toned down experience of the day prior, run through him as he transforms.

“But I’m also a human. Danny Fenton,” Danny finishes, opening his eyes.

His teammates look a varying degree of surprised. Even Robin looks a little shocked, though he covers it up better than the rest of them.

“Wow,” Garfield mutters, eyes wide as he looks up at Danny.

“I’m a … I’m a halfa,” Danny begins nervously explaining, hands twisting together. “At least, that’s what they call me in my home dimension. Half-ghost, half-human. We’re not very common. Most people die all the way, not just halfway.”

Rachel nods, hand coming up to her chin as she seems to think.

“I believe I’ve read about halfa’s in one of my tomes,” Rachel says thoughtfully. “There’s not a lot of knowledge about them due to their rarity.”

“Wait, if you’re half-human, then how come your dad’s are yetis?” Victor asks, brows furrowed in confusion.

Danny laughs a little at that as Kori elbows Victor.

“You cannot ask someone about their parentage, Victor! It’s quite rude,” Kori hisses under her breath.

“Honestly it was the first thing I thought you’d ask when I revealed myself,” Danny admits, smiling to show that he’s not offended.

Victor smiles sheepishly anyway, offering an apology.

“Frostbite and Hailwind took me in after some … unfortunate events in my past,” Danny explains, stomach clenching as he thinks about what happened.

He wants to explain everything to them, but perhaps not everything everything. Some things still hurt too much to talk about.

Robin nods in understanding, offering a smile.

“Thanks for explaining this to us, Danny. It takes a lot of guts to open yourself up to people,” Robin says, pulling Danny in for a hug.

“We love you Danny,” Kori says, joining in on the hug.

And, before he knows it, everyone else has joined. He’s surrounded by his team, nah, his family. They’re all hugging him, holding him, they accepted him.

Danny smiles wide, hugging them all back.

“I love you guys, too.”

#finemeal writes #finemeal fics #dpxdcfamilyweek24 #dp x dc #danny fenton #teen titans #hailwind #frostbite #death day #hurt/comfort #angst #fluff #found family #whump #i put my boy THROUGH it #sorry #wrote this in about an hour #the words were FLOWING y'all #hope you enjoy it

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