#husband is a state of mind

[vampcaprisun]

going straight from astarion and ren’s morning after chat to this conversation with halsin is peak comedy to me. pov you’re a little guy looking up at the very large man who’s going to fall madly in love with the guy you’re trying to seduce and you don’t even know it yet

[bylrndgm]

GOOD OMENS (2019 - ) 2.01 The Arrival

[queer-reader-07]

crowley and aziraphale being sexy is not mutually exclusive from them being asexual. y’all do realize that, right?

i’ve seen people say “i just want them to be ace icons, they’re an old gay couple they’re not meant to be sexy!!” and while that’s well intentioned and i can see where you’re coming from, i have to disagree.

don’t get me wrong, i don’t necessarily want a sex scene in canon. i did and still do read both of them as ace. the wanting them to be ace is not the issue.

i take issue with the reasoning some people are providing. let me put this bluntly: old people can and do have sex. old straight couples have sex, old queer couples have sex. being old is not synonymous with someone not being sexually active. and it says a lot about how you all view aging and old people when you act like old people can’t get it on.

secondly, aziraphale and crowley can be sexy and also never have sex. ANYBODY can be sexy and never actually have sex. because sexy is vibe, it’s a state of mind, it’s about your physicality and the way you carry yourself. you can think someone is sexy and never want to fuck them, you can think you yourself are sexy and not go any further than that.

so yeah, crowley can look hot and sexy in his turtlenecks and waistcoats. and aziraphale can look sexy in his waistcoats and button downs. you can look at david tennant’s jawline and be enamored and you can look at michael sheen’s nose and think it’s beautiful. and they never have to actually have sex with each other for any of that to be true. sexiness does not necessitate sex.

not to mention, every time i see the “they’re an old gay couple they don’t need to be sexy!!” argument it feels very much like sanitizing queer relationships and love for the sake of cishet comfortability. too often queer people are not allowed to be sexual, or for fucks sake, not just sexual but physical with their significant others. because physical manifestations and displays of queer love make the cishet world uncomfortable. and not allowing that kind of physical love to exist in media only serves to further perpetuate the issue.

queer love and queer people don’t have to be palatable to a cishet audience. queer love should get to exist authentically and queer people should get to exist and present in however way they see fit.

and in the context of good omens i think that means letting aziraphale and crowley be sexy even if they never have sex. that means letting them be physical in their love. because queer people deserve that, especially old queer people

[procrastiel]

Crowley spooning Aziraphale, holding on to his angel

Crowley grabbing Aziraphale’s face and gently kissing him

Aziraphale putting on the radio and A Nightingale Sang coming on, and them slow dancing (it’s 1941)

Crowley carrying Aziraphale up the staircase to bed (also 1941)

Aziraphale kissing Crowley for the first time (way back during the flood or something)

Crowley holding Aziraphale, who got hurt (broken wings, fell from grace or something)

[jeanne-de-valois]

we're all reaching out for something

[pharlapcartoonist]

Heavenly Kind of State of Mind

Best enjoyed with the song itself ;)

I have spend way too much time on this, but it really needed to be done.

So, here you go :) Have a treat before season two comes out :)

[summertimemusician]

Linktober Shadow Day 7

Gloom Hands

This goes out to the way I cackled hysterically once seeing these things in TOTK, well done Zelda Team. They're a terrifying concept and I really feel exploring that could be fun, even if this prompt gave me a headache and a half.

Bit late today because we've been pelted by way too many storms/lightning and writing on mobile with lightning shaking your house is generally a bad idea, so I spent most of the time writing this and the Linktober prompt by hand, then transcribing it back onto mobile as soon as I could touch eletronics without the major risk of being zapped and picking a god and praying that my internet wouldn't be too funky so I could get it out on time. Short one again though because I still need to finish the Linktober prompt so it should come out later today or fully tomorrow, sorry folks.

Anyway, as always can be read as romantic or platonic, also Sage is here both because of the prompt and because the mental image of Wild Reader and Sage trauma bonding over the extremely twisted nature Gloom/the Malice have compared to just dark magic in general in LoZ was too funny to resist, if Nintendo won't talk about the many variations of Dark Magic in LOZ and how it affects any who come in contact with it then lord darn it I guess I'll just have to do it myself (or as much as I can without breaking out the companion essay to the Realm of Darkness and Realm of Light essay which I'm already having trouble digging out).

TW:

Technically graphic descriptions of decay, gore and eldritch horror, and Reader just not having a good day in general, don't recommend reading I'd you're highly squeamish.

When you’ve first met Sage, as the Chain temporarily dubbed him, you and Wild didn’t miss the way he looked so, so haunted. Emotions warring like a storm as he looked Wild over in a mix of disbelief and the weariness of a wounded fox getting ready to bite just to escape, at the Chain with such longing ache that made one’s heart break, the way the first time he met Wolfie he didn’t hesitate to throw himself atop the canine and hug him so close like he was trying to melt into the fur, and looking at you like he didn’t know wether to cry, scream or to shut down before he buried it under the mask you knew your resident Champion could use when trying so desperately to keep it together, hands shaky as he signed in a way that set your teeth on edge and felt like you had taken a dozen of ice arrows to the back, urgent, 'It’s not safe. None of you should be here. You need to leave. Now.'

Needless to say it was alarming, even as you all knew just how ferociously untamed his and Wild’s Hyrule could be, with being overrun with so, so many types of divinity through each crack, root, drop and flesh of it’s beings. From Hylia’s cold calculating care, the Three Goddesses blood, tears and breath of life, to the Malice’s howling self sustaining fury, The Lost Woods ever overgrowing freedom and even the remnants of the Fierce Deity’s hunt in Satori’s and Malaniya's savage display of cyclic eternity, it wasn’t any surprised that apart from the Traveler’s Hyrule it was the most aggressive one with the smorgasbord of energy so thick it made even you choke on it everytime you stepped foot in it. Beautiful and free in an echo of it’s once untamed state in the age of myth even before Sky.

Over time, you and the Chain learned how to adapt to it. To listen to the warnings Wild gave about the Guardians and about the remains of Malice in his monsters, of how the moon had been forever tainted with it and how, until Sheikah tech was fully repurposed it would be best to avoid the castle all together it was difficult but manageable, and even if Sage’s reaction was alarming (and he seemed even more troubled once Wild passed onto him from Sky that, while he wasn’t to come with them yet due to how things were apparently ‘fated’ to happen, there was no way you all could leave quite yet, distantly sticking by Wild and Twilight when possible and checking on everyone’s health when not doing so), you’d though it would be much the same for his own, and in parts you were right as the Chain had taken to the new environment like fishes to water even if it took some adjustments.

Though you were quickly proven wrong, and you could have laughed at your past self’s naivety.

It was meant to be a quick run to clear a black blooded monster camp, and while decently challenging, it was over quickly between the Chain getting more apt at fighting the enemy, Sage’s addition as the man fought as ruthlessly and ferociously as Wild, switching between deadly marksmanship and feral combat on a dime and the absence of the unnaturally inteligent black scales lizalfos, you’d rest and be on your way quickly. Or so you all thought.

Twilight had been the first to smell it, the bubbling of dark but distinctively twisted magic, even more so than Zant’s brand of madness. Wild the one to spot it, the rot black and blood crimson building up at the edges of camp from his vantage point but it was Sage who had tensed, eyes snapping to the faint glow the Master Sword emmited just as the sky darkned before his frantic, alarmed howl swept over the Chain, the sheer desperate, protective panic making all of your boys still, because Sage never used his voice unless he absolutely had to, “IT'S NOT OVER! MOVE!”

It was all the warning any of you got before reality twisted, straining, and then finally screaming, the heavens staining with crimson as if gutted open, the eyes of a sin against nature itself cutting through your relief and infecting your veins with terror. It shakes you to the core, freezing with indecisive flight or fight as you spotted the tide. Heart in your throat as you tried to comprehend what you saw.

“WHAT THE-“, Legend cursed, looking ashen as his grip on his fire rod tightened. Really, all of your heroes look disturbed and you can’t blame them.

“Get to high ground if you want to live! We can’t fight these things.”, snapped Sage, much more composed, but no less frenzied.

None of you hesitate to listen.

(There were some unspoken rules, when in Wild’s Hyrule the first time around. If there is something the Champion, the most reckless of all Links, wasn’t willing to fight head on or said wasn’t worth it, the best course of action was to listen, specially if the group was vulnerable.)

The hands screech, the tide rolling over the land with an reality splitting clamoring, a sound so filled with fury and so, so twisted it made your Hylian’s ears friends bleed and you lift a hand to your head in pain as Wild pulled you along, Sage leading the charge for the nearest cliff face as Warrior’s threw Wind over his shoulders and Twilight didn’t hesitate before doing the same to Four, the frost from Legend and bomb arrows from Time and Sky barely doing nothing to slow it’s relentless charge, merely taking from it a distorted, pitched crescendoing belt of pure rage and the overlaying of many tortured souls screaming all at once, of Hyrule rejecting this existence from the world but wounded at being unable to vanquish it, the sound it makes as it spreads and drags itself across the ground with uncanny speed with it’s many, many arms like something in between sludge and smacking, wet, rotten flesh.

Sage switches between shooting arrows to helping the other Links up the cliff and shooting at it’s eyes with the strongest bow he has,making as many arrow fusions on the spot as he dares. The others quickly taking as many ranged weapons from their sides to do the same. You help Hyrule up the clifface, while Wild swipes Cryonis over the field, climbing up himself, being hauled to Sage’s side.

You are almost there when one of the hands latch onto your ankle, and you go down with a scream, Sage all but dropping the bow in his hand in favor to latching onto your hand with snarl. And

It.

Is.

Agony.

(It burns through you like your very atoms have been set on fire,bthe hands take the opportunity to sink into you, long long unnatural fingers sinking into your flesh in a unhurried blanket of darkness, the Demon King’s will is roaring, growling with abyssal rage, if it cannot rule Hyrule, it would kill everything in it instead. Gloom sinks into your cells, raptures the membranes and makes the skin slip, frantically invading, you taste rotten flesh on the back of your throat and the scent of wither and ash choke you as it sinks into your flesh, marrow, breaks down your bones bit by bit, cracking and infecting and breaking down your very essence with the fury of a dead deity which refused die, decay on an accelerated rate all over where the hands clutched like a vice as the Links trunfo pull you out or attack it and it is painful and it’s excruciatingly wretched and make it STOPCEASEITHURTS-)

A well aimed Skyward Strike severs the connection, the pain stops and you fall into Sage, breathing hard and unevenly, grasping at him like a lifeline, clawing and counting at Wild’s arm on your other side like a wounded animal, your taste blood on your throat from the screams that were ripped from it, Hyrule falling to his knees on your side as healing magic washes over you like a shroud, trying to get you to respond.

Reality howls along with you, before all is silent.

It barely took a second.

“... Just what were those things?”, rasps Sky, horrified, a sentiment echoed through the Chain, though you can’t focus on it, trying not to choke on your own blood and to pull yourself together, Wild’s hand unconsciously settling on your pulse, shaking, and Sage’s tense tone cuts through the air as he scans the area. Still tense, tone hoarse.

“... The reason why I wanted you to leave.”

Later, much, much later, before you all leave, you learn they are called Gloom Hands.

It’s unanimously agreed that all you hold loathing for those abominations, even long after you’re forced to leave Sage.

He whispers something to Wild on the way out, hugging him close, trembling. Your Champion nods, you can’t make out the words, but you make sure to hold him as close as you can before you go, indulge him in checking for your pulse even long after you’re healed.

You hope he’ll be safe, he hopes that the next time you all see each other again, it’ll be under better circumstances.

[phantomram-b00]

Listening to “Everybody wants to rule the world” is not GO/Aziraphlae Kinnie friendly (yet I still listen to the song-)

[slasherscream]

the minute i gather my thoughts and inner strength well enough to fucking talk about claudia in iwtv tv show it is over for you hoes it will be OVER for you

[crownrots]

[everybodyshusband]

FELIX! I HAD A THOUGHT AND I NEED TO KNOW ALL YOUR HEADCANONS ABOUT GHOULS AND ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES

SMOOCHING YOU ALL OVER YOUR FOREHEAD MWAHMWAHMWAH

THANK YOU FOR THE SMOOCHES TROOB !!! I AM MWAHMWAHMWAH RIGHT BACK AT YOUUUUU <3 <3 <3 and, troob, i am. SO intrigued as to how this idea crossed your mind..? would you please care to enlighten me...?? <3

i'm gonna be honest i am so confused !! but !! i will do my best >:)

rain, aeon and sunny LOVE them. c'mon, "they brush your teeth for you ??! THAT'S SO COOL !??!?" rain definitely has a collection of the themed ones made for kids, mostly for decoration because he thinks they look awesome, although occasionally he'll brush his fangs with them when he's in the mood for an ocean-themed toothbrush. aeon and sunny are more intrigued by the noises the toothbrushes make and the fact that the bristles move around when they switch them on

dew and cirrus are terrified of them for the same reasons that aeon and sunny love them, and i will die on this hill kdfbsdlfj

everyone else is... kind of neutral about them and it's totally not because i can't think of any other ideas

[emily84]

like, i feel like it bears repeating, but the argument that aziraphale and crowley's happy ending means that they'll fuck on every surface of their new shared cottage because they're 'finally fully human' etc. is a bit... unnerving to me, personally.

it's not fair to call people who just want honest and decent ace representation 'prudes' or 'victorian'.

i both read and write sex scenes, i like them. i have both read and written it for these two! however, when it comes to canon, i am fiercely protective of the way they've been portrayed so far and yes, that can change and evolve, but i don't want that to mean that ace fans are once again thrown under the bus over the false idea that sexual relationships are inherently 'better gay representation' or somehow 'more deep because there's human sex involved'.

i understand that my reading of them as a sex-positive ace couple who just kiss a lot is not necessarily mainstream or popular (see the hate neil gaiman has gotten from a section of the fandom for saying this in the past, maybe in not so many words), but i can't stand when people try to diminish it or calling it less valid. and i am tired of having to defend ace interpretations of charcters that were explicitly ace to begin with like i'm somehow 'taking away from gay representation'. as if being ace was just a step for them to overcome in their quest to 'become real boys'.

and also, also, i love the idea that they have to make an 'effort' to be sexual, and their effort can manifest in different combinations but no matter, because they still fit like puzzle pieces. they can at times be men, or women, or nonbinary, or agender, or shades of gender that only shrimps see, idc. i don't want them to end on the same note as barbie, where becoming real humans means they get 'real, fixed human parts', like genitals are the entire point of this. even if they are important!

[ivaspinoza]

Are you in love?

In love, yes. In‐depth. Burning in the altar of the Eternal Love. Kneeled at His feet. Consumed by the Agape Love and embodying the most powerful, polarized, magnetic, bright and pure Eros through my amazing husband's safe frame, presence, truth and spirit. Loving life. Loving even the storms and trials that are yet to come — loving to learn how to live in love. Loving that love doesn't always feel the same way, and loving Love itself, because everything is possible through Love and Love only.

[llycaons]

'jiang cheng would like a strong woman' have you considered she would probably not like him

[spaghett-onaplate]

"blood matters more than anything" blah blah blah my father and all four of my grandparents can consider themselves opps

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Apparently the solution to our housing problem is for me to never be excited about anything ever 🙃